#and for today's meditating drawing session

[goldensunset]

cheers to this guest lecturer for nearly giving me a heart attack making me think there was a paper due tomorrow that i hadn’t even heard about so i couldn’t focus the rest of the lecture and like rushed home and opened the site to find there was nothing at all

[pin-k-ink]

shadows // hoshina soshiro

tw ⇢ possessive!hoshina, strong sexual tension, semi public fingering, nipple play, biting, hair pulling, slight asphyxiation, dirty talking, making out

wc ⇢ 7.8k

a/n: this is for the lovely anon who loved my ruination fic <3

The acrid scent of smoke and kaiju blood hung thick in the air like a suffocating miasma. Hoshina's nostrils flared as he drew in a deep breath, the familiar tang of ozone and charred flesh doing little to dull the thrill still thrumming through his veins. His body felt electrified, every nerve ending still fizzling in the aftermath of battle's adrenaline spike.

Lazily, almost meditatively, Hoshina's gaze traced the ravaged landscape - rubble and viscera as far as the eye could see. A hard-won victory once again, but one that came at a cost chalked up in the newly formed craters pockmarking the streets. His lips quirked faintly at the sight. Just another day's work.

Amidst the wreckage, a familiar figure stood out in sharp relief, their combat suit leaving little to Hoshina’s imagination. He knew the toned curves and compact power coiled beneath that sleek, form-fitting material all too well after countless sparring sessions. A slight hitch stalled his next inhalation as Hoshina’s mind forcibly recalled exactly how it felt to have that whipcord strength undulating against him, slick skin gliding along his, breath intermingling in harsh exhalations of exertion.

Shaking off the inappropriate reverie with a mental scoff, Hoshina returned his attention to studying you dispassionately. At least, that was the intent before his gaze snagged on the subtle sheen of perspiration beading along the elegant column of your throat, tracing a tantalizing path towards the shadowed hollows left temptingly exposed by your suit. He found himself unconsciously licking his dry lips as he drank in the tiny details - the way your chest rose and fell with each controlled inhalation, the part of your lips as you tersely relayed information, the furrow of intense concentration etched between your brows.

Completely and utterly focused on the task at hand, oblivious to your audience...or the heated direction his thoughts had abruptly detoured down. Again.

Shaking his head sharply, Hoshina wrenched his traitorous mind away from that particular path before it could wander any further. What was wrong with him today? This was his trusted squad mate - his friend, more like an annoying kid sister most days than anything else, if he was being honest. Continuing to blatantly ogle you like a piece of meat left a sour taste in his mouth, an unfamiliar itch of discomfort prickling at the back of his neck.

And yet, even as Hoshina pushed those inappropriate thoughts away, he found his feet carrying him inexorably nearer with that same lazy, rolling gait. Something underlying those reckless musings had taken hold, an ember burning with increasing intensity the closer he drew to your presence. By the time he sidled up beside you, an easy smirk was already curving his lips as he drank in the way your shoulders stiffened almost imperceptibly before your spine straightened with rigid formality.

"Oi, [Y/N]-chan," Hoshina couldn't resist drawing out the affectionate lilt, purposefully exaggerating the syllables just to nettle you further. "Ya plannin' on documentatin' every grain o' rubble all night? Might wanna breathe between those reports."

True to form, you bristled at the half-mocking jab, eyes sparking in that fiery way Hoshina secretly reveled in provoking. Another tiny thrill licked down his spine at the brief lapse in your consummate professionalism as you sputtered with ill-concealed affront. The faint bloom of pink dusting your cheeks was an added dollop of sweet cream atop the taunting sundae.

A part of him knew he shouldn't bask in unravelling those tightly wound threads of control so gleefully. Not when years of tempering that internal furnace into an asset on the battlefield had clearly become an uphill struggle of late. Yet Hoshina found he couldn't quite muster any scrap of remorse for his relentless needling. Not when it provided such enticing glimpses beneath the rigidly professional veneer...

He felt his grin stretch wider, all cocksure bravado, entirely unprepared for the sudden flare of want—no, possession —that pulsed through his veins like a thermobaric detonation when your eyes finally lifted to meet his squarely.

You turned to him, eyebrows raised in surprise as if you'd forgotten he was there. "Vice Captain," you acknowledged with a quick nod. "I'm just ensuring all the details are properly documented. It's crucial for future—"

"Future missions, data analysis, blah blah blah," Hoshina interrupted with a dismissive wave of his hand.

The unconscious gesture drew his gaze downwards, pupils dilating fractionally as they traced the elegant lines of your neck, the hollow between your collarbones where a bead of perspiration had collected. He could practically envision the path it would take down your cleavage, trickling tantalizingly along the sensitive dip before disappearing beneath the sleek material hugging your chest. Hoshina swallowed hard, abruptly hyper-focused on the subtle rise and fall of your breasts, the nearly imperceptible sheen of exertion still lingering on your flushed skin.

"Ya sound like a broken record, ya know that?" he managed to force out, gaze skating back up to your face as he ruthlessly clamped down on the sinful direction his thoughts had begun meandering. Except his eyes instantly fell back to your lips, that full pout left slightly parted as you drew breath to reply.

Hoshina’s mind unhelpfully supplied a vivid recollection of those very lips a hairsbreadth from his own after one particularly intense spar session. He'd had you pinned beneath him, chests heaving with the lingering thunders of exertion as your eyes met and held in the electric aftershocks of battle's intoxicating thrill. Your lips slightly parted as you gulped down air, face flushed, pupils blown wide and dark as a solar eclipse. All it would have taken was the slightest tilt of his head and...

The memory scattered like optics glare dispersing as you huffed out an exasperated breath. Hoshina physically wrenched his gaze upwards, anger and frustration warring with the steadily smoldering embers of pure, undiluted want rapidly reducing his higher functioning to tattered ruins.

Just what in the ever-loving fuck was happening here? This was you - solid, stalwart, ever-reliable and determined [L/N]. The rock steady foundation his division depended upon, certainly, but hardly someone who made a habit of hijacking his libido so thoroughly. At least, not until recently.

When had that shifted, exactly? When had the sight of you begun igniting this strange, magnetic pull low in his abdomen rather than mild exasperation? Or was this driving lust something new, catalyzed by the smoke and viscera of combat and simply fixating on the nearest convenient target as an outlet?

Whatever the reason, Hoshina recognized that this unexpected thread of complication between himself and his most trusted subordinate could easily unravel into a tangled disaster if left to unspool unchecked. Especially with you still obliviously lecturing about protocols and debriefing procedures as if the very air didn't hum and sing with unreleased sexual tension.

"-thorough documentation is essential for—"

"For keepin' ya from actually livin' a little, seems like," he cut across your next torrent of words, fighting to reassert his usual laidback aloofness even as his pulse thundered like rolling artillery bombardments. Unconsciously, Hoshina invaded your personal space, not consciously trying to crowd as much as resorting to tactics long engrained. Pressing an advantage, denying the enemy ground...

Except there was no enemy here besides the jarring, elemental drive that had inexplicably roused itself within the eye of the storm that was your undivided attention. Hoshina felt his nostrils flare as your familiar, intoxicating scent enveloped him in palpable, tactile waves. Earthy and green, tinged with a faint smokiness and the slightest undercurrent of something floral that he'd never managed to put a name to.

"When's the last time ya actually relaxed, [Y/N]-chan?" The endearment rolled off his tongue without thought, honeyed and thick like a physical caress ghosting across your sharpened senses.

You blinked, clearly caught off guard by his probing question. "I... I relax," you defended weakly.

Even to Hoshina’s ears, the words rang hollow - a reflexive denial undermined by the taut lines of your shoulders, the minute twitches of muscle betraying your body's ingrained conditioning. He found his lips quirking upwards in a slow smirk, dark appreciation uncurling deep in his core at your admittedly pathetic attempt to deceive. As if either of you could be so easily misled after decades of coded language and subtle tells ingrained into your very bones.

"Oh yeah?" he purred, purposefully pitching his tone low to shave away any lingering aloofness. Letting you hear the silky undercurrent of challenge thrumming through each syllable as plainly as a physical strike. "Prove it. Come have a drink with me."

The flare of your eyes, dark pewter sparking to life behind those ridiculously long lashes, told Hoshina all he needed to know. He didn't bother suppressing his growing smirk, secure in the knowledge that he'd already landed a critical blow without raising so much as a fist. Your surprise was quickly subsumed by the familiar furrow of consternation overtaking your brow, mouth opening and closing like a landed fish as your mind instinctively scrambled for protocol, for procedure, for anything to deflect the utterly disarming idea he'd presented.

"Now?" You sputtered at last, sounding almost painfully young despite the steel undertones bred from years of combat conditioning. "But sir, the clean-up crew—"

"Can handle things without ya breathin' down their necks," Hoshina easily overrode your feeble attempt to reassert control over the situation.

Shooting you a pointed look from beneath lowered lashes, he reached out with studied nonchalance and plucked the commlink from your fingers. You flinched minutely at the contact, whether from surprise or simple tactile overwhelm he couldn't tell. But it was enough to make something predatory lurk at the edges of his smirk as he brushed aside your instinctive move to protest.

Rotating the slim device between his fingers, Hoshiro made a show of reestablishing the open channel with base, keeping his deep timbre a study in pure insouciance. "Okonogi, change of plans. [Y/N] and I won't be needin' that transport. We're makin' our own way back."

It was only after ending the transmission, effectively severing your official tether to duty and responsibility, that Hoshina allowed the molten heat banked in his depths to bleed overtly into his stare. His gaze raked over you slowly, deliberately, as if peeling away every layer of propriety with surgical precision until only the panting core remained exposed and quivering in the open air between your parallel stances.

"Now then, [Y/N]-chan," he murmured, dipping his voice into a low, gravelled octave carefully cultivated to shave away the last vestiges of resistance. Of self-control. Hoshina didn't miss the minute bob of your throat as you swallowed shakily, nor the way your widened eyes became transfixed by the sweep of his tongue wetting his lower lip.

Yes...that's it, doll. Let go.

The endearment hung unspoken yet palpably present as he took a calculated step closer, near enough to feel the erratic puffing of your breaths ghosting across his jawline. Close enough to drown himself in the delicious, rapidly building torrent of heat and want and sheer undisguised awareness he could sense thrumming through you in increasingly apparent waves.

Close enough for Hoshina to see the wild thundering of your pulse in the hollows of your neck, the dilated slivers of your pupils rapidly devouring irises that had long since been swallowed into the deepest onyx in thrall to his physicality alone.

He could end this now, finally. Could close that last infinitesimal distance separating your parted lips and swallow your shocked exhale with his own. Finally slake this brutal, wild thirst he could no longer deny or contain with anything less than total possession.

Instead, Hoshina forced his features to smooth into an expression of wry geniality, a faint mockery of good humor crinkling the corners of his eyes as his hand lifted to brush away some errant speck of debris from your shoulder. The innocent gestured belied by the deliberate, searing trail his fingers trailed in their wake, lingering with irrefutable intent along the line of your clavicle before dropping away completely.

"What do ya say we go find out if ya even remember how to have fun?" Each word was carefully measured, deceptively light yet daring you to discern the subtleties of challenge, of promise , that danced like shimmering heat waves through every syllable.

At your side, Hoshina’s hands had fallen slack, utterly unthreatening and open in contrast to the rigid control with which he kept the rest of his body angled minimally away from yours. An intentionally decentralized posture, leaving you an option to disengage without any hint of menace or physical coercion.

Just words. Simple, innocent words to confuse the raging bonfire of pure, undiluted want scorching through his veins with every shuddering inhale of your scent, your aura, your presence.

The ball, as they said, was in your court now. All Hoshina could do was hold that burning intensity burning in the depths of his gaze and wait for your inevitable deflection...

Or surrender.

The walk to the nearby bar passed in a heated silence, the air thickening with every measured stride. Though Hoshina strode slightly ahead, his legs setting an unhurried pace, he couldn't quite shake the blazing awareness of your presence trailing just behind.

It prickled along the back of his neck in a shivering tingle of hyper-sensitivity, the fine hairs dusting his nape seeming to rise in anticipatory alertness with each scuff of your boots against the pavement in his wake. Shallow inhalations parted his lips infinitesimally, persistent wisps of your subtle floral essence intermingling with the metallic tang of combat's aftershock already coating his senses.

The juxtaposition was jarring - the visceral reminder of hard-won victory at odds with the gradually encroaching softness teasing the edge of Hoshina’s consciousness. Without even realizing it, his body had already recalibrated to a new, heightened state of somatic priming. One that shifted his senses onto an entirely different theatre of operations altogether.

One distinctly centered around you.

But he mustn't get ahead of himself, not yet. Not when there were still miles left to trek in this strange new territory you'd found yourselves navigating. So instead, Hoshina reined in those scorching impulses with a reflexive inhale, focusing on meticulously maintaining his usual front of casual aloofness as you stepped up beside him.

"Figured you could use a break from keeping those grunts in line all the time," he tossed out, not glancing over as you fell into step just off his shoulder. "Maybe even cut loose a little for once. You know, as a reward for not getting any of them killed back there."

It was a poor attempt at deflection through needling, Hoshina knew. But he couldn't seem to resist sliding a sidelong look at you through the shellac of his lashes, gauging your reaction to the barbed remark. Not that he had any delusions of you rising to the bait, of course. If anything, he fully anticipated you straightening your shoulders in silent rebuke before mechanically rebutting with some impeccably by-the-book rundown of proper conduct and procedures.

Which made the tiny smirk that began tugging at the corner of your lips all the more disarming.

"That all depends on how you define 'cut loose,' Vice Captain," you murmured without even sparing him a glance, tone laced with an edge of playfulness Hoshina couldn't recall ever hearing from you before. "For all you know, I could be an utter wildcard behind closed doors."

The words hung in the air, dangled like ripe fruit begging to be plucked from the vine even as your strides carried you onward in sync. Hoshina felt his brows hiking upwards despite himself, the vivid flare of surprise and interest alike crackling to life in his veins. Since when did you engage in this sort of shameless baiting? More importantly, since when had you mastered that particularly lethal combination of coy indifference and blatant suggestion?

He was gaping, he realized abruptly - standing slackjawed in the middle of the street like a minnow gulping at air while you continued on unhurriedly. As if you were utterly unaware of the punishing right hook you'd just landed squarely on his sense of propriety, not to mention his composure.

Snapping his mouth closed with an audible click of teeth, Hoshina hurried a few steps to realign himself by your side, shooting you a sidelong look rife with newfound curiosity. Up close, the slight curve to your lips was even more inscrutable, your expression carefully neutral save for the glint of challenge flickering in your lowered lashes.

Well, two could play at that game. Hoshina refused to let you rattle him that easily, refused to betray any outward sign of the conflagration you'd abruptly stoked somewhere south of his ribs. Instead, he pressed forwards in a silence that stretched just shy of uncomfortable, trusting his body to communicate all the unspoken implications and undercurrents his words could never fully articulate.

At least, not without shattering the gossamer threads of tension enveloping you both in that shivery, electrically-charged stasis entirely.

The bar he led you to was a familiar haunt, if not necessarily one you'd expect. From the outside, it looked like any other nondescript watering hole - a hole-in-the-wall tucked away on a side street just far enough from the main drags to avoid an excess of foot traffic. Shadows, the place was called. Though whether as a nod to the infernian faction or merely the dim, cozy ambiance, not even Hoshina could recall.

As you stepped over the worn threshold, however, a far different atmosphere seemed to permeate the very air surrounding you in a tactile weight of obscurity. Of anonymity.

The lighting inside Shadows was kept deliberately dim and muted, all flickering candle arcana and soft ambers that sculpted the contours of every surface into hazy, indistinct planes. Every solid edge blurred subtly into peripheral smears of suggestion rather than sharply delineated shapes, even the small crowd of patrons scattered throughout appearing more like roiling plumes of vapor saturating the air.

Perfect for shedding the concerns of the outside world in exchange for an altogether different existence - one fueled solely by pursuit of the senses and catered pleasures of the flesh in all their myriad forms. Hoshina had indulged in his fair share during the infrequent stretches of downtime his duties afforded, though tonight marked the first time bringing a...guest, so to speak.

He shot you a sidelong look as your steps slowed infinitesimally, no doubt drinking in the smoky, incense-tinged atmosphere for the first time. An alluring flush clung to the high arches of your cheekbones already, whether from the abrupt shift in ambiance or something more inscrutable. The tiny darts of pink flame dancing across your skin mesmerized Hoshina, widening his pupils further with each passing second.

Catching himself, he cleared his throat softly, careful not to shatter the sanctity of hush draped over the room. "Suppose it goes without saying, we aren't exactly in polite company here at Shadows."

His murmur pitched low, thrumming against the shell of your ear like a heated caress. Close enough to make you shiver minutely in response as he trailed a hand along the small of your back, guiding your steps through the swirling currents of muted sound and motion.

Hoshina placed a hand on the small of your back, guiding you towards a secluded booth in the corner. The simple touch seemed to burn straight through the thin material of your suit, raising goosebumps across your skin. You found yourself hyper-aware of the heat radiating from his palm, the slight calloused rasp catching on the fabric in a way that made your pulse kick up instinctively.

As you slid into the shadowed nook, the cushioned bench dipped beneath your weight, cradling you in a nest of dimly-lit intimacy. The flickering candles adorning the table seemed to cast Hoshina’s features into sharp reliefs and soft curves in turn, the constant shifting dance of light and shadow mesmerizing. One moment his jaw would be etched into harsh angles, only for the next breath to soften everything into a melted, honeyed mask of smoldering suggestion.

You swallowed hard, mouth abruptly dry as Hoshina settled himself across from you, movements radiating an unhurried sort of grace usually reserved for stalking predators. His gaze openly roamed across your form, hooded and lingering in a way that made you want to squirm under the weight of such unabashed appraisal.

"So, [Y/N]-chan," he rumbled after a protracted moment, the rough timbre bleeding straight through your sternum to resonate in hollow, thrumming echoes against your ribs. Hoshina cocked his head slightly, the simple motion shifting the play of shadows to cast his eyes into flickering hollows of smoky invitation. "What's your poison? And don't you dare say water or I might have to report you for insubordination."

The low purr of his voice curled through the air like a physical caress, silken promise roughened into wicked taunt by the rasp of his native Kansai burr. You couldn't quite stifle the shiver that traced down your spine in its wake, nor the way your lashes fluttered under the onslaught of such unabashed temptation cloaked by irreverent humor.

"I wouldn't dream of it, sir," you managed to murmur by sheer force of will, proud of yourself for keeping your tone level despite the sudden reemergence of that damnable flush heating your cheeks. "Surprise me."

It was a risky move to issue such an open-ended challenge, one your tactical mind instantly began dissecting and mapping out potential vulnerabilities. But the way Hoshina’s full lips curved higher at the corners in a quicksilver flicker of unholy delight instantly made the risk feel more than worth any imagined cost.

He leaned back against the low bench, forearms bracketing his sides as he stretched those long limbs out in an exaggerated picture of casual ease. The subtle shift in position drew your gaze helplessly to his broad shoulders and chest straining against the thin fabric, every metabolic shift of his body suddenly thrown into stark, intimate relief.

When Hoshina spoke next, his voice seemed to radiate directly from the iron-hewn column of his throat, scraping like rumbling granite scored across granite. "Now where would be the fun in that, hmm?"

The simple question hung in the smoky air between you both, lingering like an opiate fog made solid and potent. Hoshina held your widening stare easily, a tiny spark of challenge flickering to life in the lavender depths as his tongue stole out to wet his lower lip in a move of unconscious, blatant provocation.

You couldn't look away, utterly transfixed and helplessly pinned by the heavy-lidded heat singeing through his stare. Brief flashes of half-formed fantasies sparked in the hazy recesses of your mind - images of straining, bare flesh and ragged gasps intermingled with the roaring of your pulse thundering in your inner ear.

Then, as quickly as it seized you, the moment passed with the appearance of your drink gliding across the table's battered surface. Blinking rapidly, you broke free of the thick, headily-charged tension with a sharp inhale, refocusing your gaze to the bartender's retreating form while sternly marshaling your composure.

"Let's see if we can't loosen you up a little, [Y/N]-chan," came the low rumble from across the table, his husky timbre dripping with layers of unspoken implications and promises.

Shooting Hoshina a sidelong look through your lashes, you lifted the glass and took your first sip...

You savored the smoky burn of the liquor as it trickled down your throat, letting the pleasant warmth bloom outwards from your core. Across the table, Hoshina’s eyes seemed to smolder even brighter as he watched you with undisguised appreciation, his own glass forgotten for the moment.

"Not bad, right?" he murmured after you'd drained the last swallow. With a subtle gesture, fresh drinks appeared as if by magic, the dim lighting casting flickering amber highlights across the broad plane of his chest.

You tried not to let your gaze linger, though the way Hoshina lazily stretched and resettled himself made it extremely difficult. There was an edge of blatant satisfaction in his expression, a silent challenge sparking in the glint of his eyes that made you wonder just how premeditated this little foray truly was.

Lifting the fresh glass, you took another slow sip to buy yourself a moment's reprieve from those piercing violet eyes. The taste was richer this time, more complex notes of oak and spice unraveling across your tongue. You couldn't resist darting out to capture an errant droplet that clung to your lower lip, despite the way Hoshina’s gaze seemed to blaze even hotter at the unconscious gesture.

"Now," he drawled after a beat of heated silence, "how about we just...talk?"

You blinked at the unexpectedly casual suggestion, straightening a bit in your seat. "Alright. What would you like to talk about, Vi—" You caught yourself before letting the formal title slip, mouth snapping shut as a flush crept up your neck. "...Soshiro."

His name on your lips without any honorifics felt startlingly intimate, sending a shiver skittering across your skin. The way his eyes hooded at the sound didn't help matters, that perpetual half-lidded bedroom stare dragging you down into unknown depths thick with tension and secrets.

"First off," Hoshina rumbled, deep voice rolling over you in a velvet caress. "How about something simple?" One broad shoulder rose and fell in a languid shrug that made your mouth abruptly dry. "What d'ya like to do for fun, [Y/N]-chan?"

The innocent question caught you completely off guard, both from its disarming simplicity and suggestive undercurrent as he held your gaze steadily. Your first instinct was to rattle off details about your usual training regimens or combat preparatory routines. But something in the heated air surrounding you both made you reconsider revealing the full extent of your dedication to the Defense Force, at least for the moment.

So instead, you opened your mouth to offer some benign response about reading or meditating...only for the words to die unspoken as Hoshina’s tongue stole out to wet his lips again, slow and deliberate. Your attention zeroed in helplessly on the tiny gesture, watching the way his mouth glistened in the dim candlelight.

"Well?" His voice dragged your eyes back up with a start, the lids now heavy and hooded in a way that liquefied your thoughts. "I'm waiting for you to tell me exactly what gets ya excited, [Y/N]-chan."

You sucked in a sharp breath at the blatant innuendo laced through his words, the husky purr curling deliciously low in your belly. Hoshina cocked one eyebrow in a wordless challenge, his lips curved in the faintest of smirks as he leisurely swirled the contents of his glass.

The thickening silence stretched as you struggled to formulate a response through the heated fog rapidly clouding your mind. Just what exactly was his game here? And more importantly - did you even want to indulge this escalating provocation, consequences be damned?

One look into those blazing indigo depths, now glittering with naked hunger and keen intelligence, told you the answer even before your mind could catch up.

Your tongue stole out to moisten your dry lips, watching in satisfaction as Hoshina’s jaw tightened almost imperceptibly. "You know," you began carefully, each word seeming to wrap around the both of you like layers of finest silk. "For all your talk earlier about loosening up...I'm not convinced you truly grasp what that means for me, Soshiro."

His name emerged rich and savored, a purring taunt of challenge issued beneath lowered lashes. You allowed the implication to hang heavily between you for a stretched breath before continuing in a lower, throatier tone, "—Unless, of course, you'd like me to show you?"

The muscles in Hoshina’s throat bobbed convulsively as he swallowed, hard. His free hand drifted up to rub along the stubbled line of his jaw, eyes burning straight through you with smoldering intensity. For a suspended heartbeat, he made no further movement, no affirmation of your thinly veiled offer save to simply drink in the sight of you with undiluted focus.

Then the hand dropped away, and Hoshina was leaning forward with leonine grace, braced on both forearms as he closed the distance between your bodies.

"By all means," he growled, lips curling in a slash of wicked invitation. "Enlighten me, [Y/N]-chan."

The challenge hung searing between you in the smoky dimness. You could practically taste the heated tension sparking in the scant space separating your bodies, a heady blend of whiskey and simmering desire. Hoshina’s eyes bored into yours with an intensity that stoked molten tendrils of want coiling low in your core.

"Well?" His graveled rumble sliced through the silence like a whipcrack, sending a shiver cascading down your spine. "I'm waiting for this supposed enlightenment, [Y/N]-chan."

You fought back a reflexive smirk at the undercurrent of impatience bleeding into Hoshina’s tone. So the great Vice Captain wasn't as unflappable as he pretended to be. Good...that just made this little game all the more intriguing to play.

Keeping your expression carefully neutral, you drew the moment out with a slow blink and even slower inhalation. You caught the way Hoshina’s nostrils flared infinitesimally as your subtle movements, dragging in the thickening clouds of arousal and sin swirling around your hushed alcove.

"Patience was never your forte, was it?" you murmured at last, letting your lips curve in the faintest of smiles.

You didn't miss the way Hoshina’s jaw tightened fractionally, another hairline fracture splintering across that impeccable veneer of nonchalance. Holding his heated stare, you brought your glass up in an affected sip, letting the smoky liquid trickle decadently over your tongue before swallowing with delicate care.

When you finally spoke again, your voice had dropped into a lower, throatier register thrumming with unspoken promises. "If you want me to...enlighten you, Soshiro, you're going to have to earn it."

His sharp inhalation was quiet yet clearly audible in the smothering intimacy of your nook. You watched in satisfaction as Hoshiro's pupils blew wide at your blatant provocation, feeling a lick of triumph at finally rattling him. Shifting slightly, you allowed one knee to brush against his beneath the table in a featherlight caress calculated for maximum impact.

Sure enough, Hoshina’s body reacted in a reflexive tightening, every tendon and sinewy muscle coiled like tripwires under his tawny skin. His eyes, however, remained locked on yours in a heated battle of wills, the irises now eclipsed into blazing amethyst embers ringed by inky black.

"Is that so?" he rumbled after a strained moment, the words seeming to shave against his clenched jaw. The hand braced on the table flexed minutely, fingers splaying in the barest aborted twitch before curling into a tight fist. "And just what did you have in mind, [Y/N]-chan? Some kind of...test?"

He somehow managed to imbue the final word with equal parts challenge and smug certainty of victory. As if you were nothing more than another combat scenario mapped out in his mind, every potential obstacle and pivot point already neatly dissected. As if there was no chance of you emerging the victor through sheer tenacity and underestimated resolve alone.

You arched a single brow at Hoshina’s boldness, feeling a frisson of mingled indignation and undeniable arousal sizzle through your veins. Always so confident, so unflappable in the face of adversity...until you thoroughly demolished those smug assumptions time and again.

Well, if the great Vice Captain felt so assured of besting you at your own game, you'd simply have to dial up the intensity. Push past the flirtatious banter and thinly veiled wordplay to a threshold Hoshina had yet to truly encounter.

"A test of sorts, I suppose," you acceded, letting your shoulders roll in an exaggerated shrug of nonchalance. "Though I'd ask that you refrain from treating this as just another playacted scenario, Soshiro. After all..."

Here you leaned forward until your lips were a hairsbreadth from his, near enough to feel the erratic gusts of his quickening breaths across your mouth. When you spoke again, your words emerged in a throaty purr that vibrated straight down to his very core.

"...I don't plan on playing by any rulebook's constraints tonight."

With that, you abruptly sat back, leaving Hoshina frozen and body taut as a live wire in the wake of your retreat. A muscle ticked in his clenched jaw, the only visible sign of how deeply those last words had scored. You didn't try to suppress your triumphant smirk this time as you reached for your glass once more, allowing a flash of devilish delight to dance across your features.

"So?" you prodded after a beat, thoroughly reveling in having the upper hand for once. At least for the moment. "Are you willing to put that ego on the line, Vice Captain? Or will you forfeit before we even begin?"

The molten challenge sparked and smoldered in the heavy air between you, undulating in tempo with the flickering candlelight. For one suspended heartbeat, everything hung in tantalizing suspension as the gauntlet was thrown down with audacious finality.

Then Hoshina blinked, tension shattering like glass scored straight through his formidable self-composure. His lips peeled back in a ferocious slash of a grin, eyes burning like banked amethyst fire.

"I'm going to make you beg before this night is over, [Y/N]-chan," he promised in a low, sandpaper growl. "And not for mercy."

A tremor of undisguised anticipation rippled through you at Hoshina’s low, graveled promise. You felt heat bloom across your skin, a delicious frisson of combined exhilaration and challenge sparking bright in your veins.

This was quickly evolving past the bounds of casual banter and suggestive badinage. No, you could both sense the unmistakable undercurrent of tension ratcheting up another notch entirely - a wildly spiraling game of provocations and reactions with no clear path or endgame in sight.

Just pure, unadulterated want slowly stripping away all remaining propriety and inhibition until only the raw, primal need remained.

You held Hoshina’s burning stare for a protracted moment, letting the heat shimmer and intensify between your locked gazes. Then, purposefully, you dropped your eyes in a slow perusal down the powerful column of his throat. Over the broad, heaving expanse of his chest just barely concealed by thin fabric. All the way to the junctures of his hips barely visible above the table's edge.

It was your turn to lick your lips, letting your tongue sweep out slow and deliberate while holding Hoshina’s focused attention. You felt a lick of satisfaction at his sharp inhalation, the subtle tightening along his jaw as his eyes followed the path of your mouth with undisguised hunger.

Yes, let him stew in the rapidly simmering heat for a while longer. Let him chase that high of anticipation, of wanting something badly enough to burn from the inside out. He'd had the upper hand for far too long with his usual nonchalant arrogance and deflective taunts.

Now, it was your turn to dangle the prize of satisfaction just out of reach, keeping Hoshina teetering on that razor-edge of control through every torturous moment.

Sliding one hand across the sticky surface of the table towards you, you tilted your chin down as if suddenly shy beneath the weight of that smoldering violet stare. You waited a beat, letting the heavy atmosphere condense further before darting your tongue out again to wet your lower lip.

Then, with exaggerated nonchalance, you started toying with the zipper pull at the hollow of your throat, giving the smallest of tugs.

The effect was instantaneous. Hoshina sucked in a sharp breath, the tendons in his throat jumping convulsively as the hand splayed on the table clenched into a tight fist once more. You caught the abortive shift of his hips beneath the concealing tabletop, the instinctive forward lean that his torso quickly aborted back to a slouch of feigned ease.

Still, you didn't lift your eyes to his, keeping your focus solely on your hand as you toyed with the zipper's metal tab. One infinitesimal tug at a time, incrementally revealing the barest tantalizing strip of flushed skin glistening with perspiration. You let out a tiny, breathy sigh of fake overstimulation, merely to ratchet the torment.

That seemed to be the final straw for Hoshina’s rapidly faltering restraint. With a low, visceral growl that sent skittering tremors racing across your hyper-aware nerves, he was abruptly kicking the table aside with enough force to rattle the flickering candles. In the next blink, Hoshina had maneuvered himself from across the table to directly at your side, one iron-banded arm snaking around your hips to haul you bodily against him.

You didn't even have a chance to so much as squeak in surprise before Hoshina’s free hand was clamped around your wrist, stilling the tortuous descent of the zipper with ease. He leaned in so close, surrounding and enveloping you with the scorching heat of his body and heady, earthy scent of combat sweat and man. When he spoke, his lips grazed the feverish hollow of your pulse in a blatant possession.

"I wasn't aware we'd reached that stage of the evening already, [Y/N]-chan," Hoshina growled, low and dark and dripping with unholy promises. His next words seemed to shred directly against your convulsing throat. "Unless you're simply making this too easy..."

With a twist of his wrist, Hoshina applied the barest amount of pressure on the trapped zipper pull. Just enough to ease it down another tantalizing fraction, revealing another sliver of feverish skin and the hint of lace lying just beneath. His touch was featherlight, yet it scorched a blazing path from your wrist straight down to your rapidly contracting core all the same.

A soft whine slipped free before you could stop it, a plea and demand all twisted into one soundless vibration. Hoshina’s only response was a low, rumbling chuckle vibrating against your cheek as he nuzzled closer still, thoroughly invading every single one of your precious personal spaces.

"Easy there," he rasped against the swell of your jaw, tongue lashing out to taste your thundering pulse in a blatant spark of possession. "Can't go havin' your pretty suit disintegratin' before the real fun's even started, now can we?"

Hoshina’s broad frame curved around you possessively as his fingers toyed with the zipper tab at your throat. You held your breath, trembling finely, as he deliberately inched it downwards with agonizing slowness.

"Look at you," he rumbled in a low rasp against the heated skin of your neck. "Already coming undone just from this..."

You let out a shuddering exhale as another tantalizing inch of feverish skin was gradually bared to Hoshina’s smoldering gaze. The metal teeth parted with a rasping whisper, allowing the barest glimpse of the lace-edged swell of your breasts peeking into view.

Hoshina growled something wordless and approving against your thundering pulse. You could feel the vibrations skittering across your hypersensitized nerves like tiny sparks, stoking the banked coals of arousal glowing brighter with each passing moment.

"Do you have any idea," he murmured darkly, "how long I've wanted to unwrap you just...like...this?"

Punctuating each word with another fractional descent of the zipper's path, Hoshina nuzzled his stubbled jaw over the exposed juncture of your neck and shoulder. His tongue swept out in a scorching, openmouthed caress that had your fingers spasming against his immovable frame.

"Soshiro..." His name emerged as a breathy whimper despite your efforts at control. You felt more than heard the low, thrumming chuckle vibrating against your stripped skin in response.

"That's it, [Y/N]-chan," he growled, the roughened timbre seeming to shave against your senses with delicious friction. "Let me hear how much you need this..."

Another scant inch of zipper parted with a whisper, baring the tops of your breasts in their lavender-scented swell. Your head lolled back against the solid support of Hoshina’s shoulder, eyes squeezing shut in a haze of white-hot sensation as his lips traced searing paths across your collarbones.

Desperate, needy keens were tumbling from your lips in a constant stream now as Hoshina’s wicked mouth blazed lower inch...by...scorching...inch. Soon you were trembling like a livewire amid the cradle of his corded arms, entire world contracting to each indolent sweep of his tongue and graze of blunted teeth.

Coherent thought was rapidly becoming nothing but ash and ember swirling in the bonfire engulfing your senses from within. You burned, burned with a wildfire of molten need unslaked no matter how Hoshina stoked the flames ever higher with each agonizingly slow pass of his hands, his mouth—

Just when you thought you would surely disintegrate into cinders, Hoshina wrenched his mouth away with a low growl that seemed to vibrate straight through to your core. You cried out at the loss, eyes flying open in a desperate, panting daze, only to be pinned by the endless depths of hunger blazing in his onyx-drowned gaze.

"Easy there, [Y/N]-chan," he rumbled after a steadying breath, the words seeming to drip like molten sin against your sweat-dampened skin. One hand came up to cup your jaw, thumb tracing your swollen, parted lips in a claiming caress you could feel throughout your entire body.

"We've got all night to relearn what makes you come undone..." Hoshina’s grin slashed across his features, dark and full of wicked promise. "...and beg for more."

You could only keen helplessly as Hoshina pressed his thumb past your slackened lips, sinking deep in a blatant parody of the things you both craved. The rough pad grazed the softness of your inner cheek, pressing down against your fluttering tongue in a silent command.

His eyes were utterly blown now, twin pools of midnight edged by the faintest ring of burning indigo. Your lips closed around the intruding digit, sucking and swirling with a moan of undisguised eagerness. Hoshina growled, low and primal, as his hand flexed in the cradle of your jaw.

"Gods, I'm gonna wreck you for any other man," he snarled against your fevered skin. You shuddered in a ripple of goosebumps at the dark promise, the sheer force of desire radiating from his every pore.

Then his thumb slipped free with a lewd, wet pop, only to be replaced a split second later by the scorching press of his mouth. You whined into the searing kiss, opening to the insistent sweep of his tongue. Your own curled around the hot muscle, suckling and twining in a filthy dance of lust and greed.

Hoshina swallowed your gasps, devouring them along with every ounce of resistance left in your trembling body. His hand shifted from cradling your jaw, sliding down to wrap around the column of your throat instead. He squeezed gently, applying just the slightest bit of pressure that made your head swim with renewed want.

When you finally managed to drag yourself up for air, you were trembling from head to toe, the zipper of your suit now pulled completely free of its metal tracks. The top half of your suit was gaping open, baring your breasts and torso in their entirety.

Your eyes slowly fluttered open to find Hoshina already watching you, his chest heaving visibly with exertion. His pupils were blown wide, a mere ring of smoldering amethyst eclipsed around bottomless black. The hand cupping your jaw slid lower, curling around the exposed curve of one breast.

He gave a gentle squeeze, drawing a keening whine from your throat as his thumb traced over your peaked nipple. His gaze never wavered from yours as his head dipped lower, until the rasp of his stubble scraped against your sensitive skin in an open-mouthed, possessive claim.

You moaned, loud and shameless, as Hoshina's teeth latched onto your nipple, tugging lightly as his tongue laved over the hardened peak. Your entire body trembled with the force of your arousal, the raw need throbbing low in your belly.

Hoshina growled against your breast, the sound reverberating straight through your sternum, as his free hand slipped down the gaping vee of the uniform. It danced over your stomach, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. Then lower still, teasing over the top band of your panties.

You arched into his touch, desperately seeking more. But Hoshina refused to be rushed, his lips and tongue continuing their assault on your other nipple. When his fingertips brushed ever-so-lightly against the aching bud of your clit, you cried out, only to be immediately silenced by the bruising crush of his mouth on yours.

His tongue invaded with a savage growl, the fingers teasing at your folds increasing their pressure until you were writhing uncontrollably against his grip. Then, without warning, Hoshina's mouth ripped away from yours, the hand tangled in your hair yanking back sharply to expose the vulnerable curve of your throat.

"Be fuckin' quiet," he hissed in your ear, the words barely more than a ragged whisper. "Unless ya want to have an audience..."

Your breath hitched, a jolt of pure heat searing through your core at the suggestion. Hoshina growled again, the sound reverberating straight down your spine as his fingers finally sank home. You bit down on your lip to stifle a whimper, eyes squeezing shut as his thick digits stretched you mercilessly.

"Fuck, you tightened right up at the idea," he murmured, low and filthy. "What, you want the rest of the bar to watch while I fuck ya into oblivion, hmm? Wanna show them just how good I make ya feel?"

A fresh surge of liquid heat spilled over his fingers, prompting another low chuckle. "Oh, I see..." Hoshina leaned in close, his stubbled jaw rasping against the flushed curve of your cheek. "So, if I told ya to get on yer knees and suck my cock, right here, you'd do it, wouldn't you? You'd let everyone watch ya take me down that pretty little throat."

His words sent a wave of molten want spiraling through your veins, the mental image of being used, claimed, in front of an audience setting every nerve ablaze. Your inner walls fluttered around his thick digits, hips grinding against his palm as the coil of pressure building within tightened another notch.

"Maybe next time, then," Hoshina promised, low and husky. "For now, I want ya nice and quiet while I ruin this pretty little cunt."

His lips crashed into yours, swallowing your cry as he curled his fingers and sent you careening straight into white-hot oblivion. You trembled, writhing, as your release ripped through you, every single neuron set alight with the force of it.

Hoshina growled his approval into your mouth, working you through the shattering climax with unhurried strokes and nipping kisses. As the aftershocks subsided, he gently eased his fingers free with a lewd, wet squelch. He broke the kiss then, holding you steady against the broad wall of his chest as you sucked in greedy gulps of air.

You barely had a chance to catch your breath before Hoshina was hauling you back against his body, fingers tangling in your hair to pull your head back into a straining curve.

"I'm not done with ya yet," he growled against the curve of your exposed throat, stubble rasping deliciously against the oversensitized skin. You felt his cock twitch, heavy and thick, as it pressed against the cleft of your ass. "Not even fuckin' close."

[mistydeyes]

half empty glasses with unchanging perspectives

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

summary: You hated time spent alone as it encouraged all your past traumas to come flooding in. Seeking some semblance of relief, you find yourself drinking alone at the pub. However, you regret your decision when you lock eyes with Simon.

part i - behind closed doors part ii - hollow apologies and avoiding glances

pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x gn!reader (but like not even a pairing at this point lol)

okay real talk here and same psa as before but please do not read if you are not comfortable with ANY OF THIS! it is upsetting in all aspects!!

warnings: mentions of torture/violence/cuts/scars, swearing, abusive language, ANGST GALORE

a/n: PART III IS HERE! i busted this out after doing some studying but i hope you enjoy another dose of angst

 💌 @nadinesabre @casualunknownrunaway @originaldeerhottub @justpasssingby @missroro @josieguts @miss-i-ship-it @sicknasty03 @jojoblossom @azwong @shadofireshinobi @caramlizedtomatoes @deltottoro @kenz-ee @teehee-47 @tiredmetalenthusiast @hollowmasque

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

You crossed off the calendar marking another “successful” therapy appointment. “Only forty of those fucking crying sessions,” you laughed sardonically. Your hand was smeared with the wet red ink as you sat down on your uniformly made bed. Today was your day off and you fidgeted at the lack of obligations. Most of your colleagues had gone home or spent little time off base. You missed those days when you actually could let your guard down and enjoy the company of others. You sighed as you sunk into your bed, squeezing your eyes tightly as another migraine coursed through your head.

After months since your ordeal, you finally returned to base. Your eyes stung at the fluorescent lights in the hallway and the squeak of military-grade boots. "You alright, Sergeant?" the pharmacist asked as she dispensed a large bag of pills and blister packs to you. "Just a headache," you mumbled as you brought a scarred hand to your face. She had a pleasant smile as she put the bag on the counter "The paracetamol should help," she hummed and you thanked her on your way out of the automatic doors. That night as you counted out 7 different pills of varying size and color, you swallowed them hard with a bottle of water. "God, can't wait until I'm done with these."

Your hand searched for the pill case on your nightstand until you felt the large plastic container. You systematically counted your daily meds, each colored tablet making your stomach churn at the idea. "And another paracetamol for luck," you chuckled to yourself as you swallowed the handful. You continued to stare at the ceiling in absolute boredom. Part of the reason why you hated the silence on base was the creeping thoughts of that dark, cold room. You tried books, drawing, meditation, and even increasing your visits to the gym by twofold. Yet, every time you returned to your quarters, you felt yourself unravel piece by piece.

"Fuck this," you yelled at no one and got up to change into something more presentable. You tried to smooth your hair and poked at the almost naturally appearing eye bags that aged you immensely. Pleasantries of fragrance and accessories weren't your prerogative as you closed your door and walked to inform the appropriate officials of your last-minute decision to leave the base. You tried to suppress the rising anger at the surprised looks on your superiors' faces as well as the turned heads as you climbed into your car. You beat your fingers rhythmically on the steering wheel as you thought of your next actions with all the free time in the world. As your car crept slowly on the street, you took a right turn to the only destination you could think of: the pub.

As you found parking amongst the hundreds of cars, you smiled at the notion of finding solitude along with the drunken crowds and clangs of glasses. You pushed through the loud laughter and cheers as you ordered a single lowball glass of cheap whiskey. You threw your money on the counter and found a quiet corner to peoplewatch. Your throat burned as you swallowed the brown liquor and cursed the hangover you would have in the morning. Your wallowing was interrupted by the loud cheers of a certain group, one you never wanted to see again.

"SHOTS ALL AROUND!" you could hear Soap call as you observed him hand small glasses of a highly flammable liquid around. The group laughed and then slightly cringed at the taste of it. You could feel your hands tighten around the glass as you looked at the group. "So goddamn normal," you mumbled under your breath before you took another drink. You turned your body slightly and shielded yourself from their merriment. You tried to calm your breathing as you drank faster and faster. This was the last fucking thing you needed. "Slow down there, friend," the bartender winked at you as he watched you down the beverage. You rolled your eyes at the suggestion before you continued to look at the half-empty glass.

'You really should slow down," a voice said as he joined on the empty seat next to you. Your body tensed at the voice and you didn't even need to look to know it was your old lieutenant seated next to you. So much for enjoying a night out. "And what the fuck would you know," you shouted over the loud crowd. Your throat winced at the rising tone and ached from the liquor that burned your insides. "I know that those aren't good for the medication you're taking," Simon softly replied and you threw a hand at him in dismissal. "Now who told you that," you countered, "the same man who gave you the go-ahead to keep me in a room and torture me until I confessed."

There was a beat of silence, as for once, Simon was at a loss for words. He thumbed at his frosty glass, letting the condensation drip onto the counter. "Anyways what are you here for?" you asked sarcastically, "wonder how many bodies you boys left before you returned." Simon shook his head at your comment, taking another sip from his drink. He practically finished it, necessitating a refill from the overworked bartender. "What are you getting at, Eclipse?" he replied and you cringed at the use of your old codename. You let out a dry laugh as you casually sipped on the disgusting beverage. "Don't fucking lie, Simon," you said, venom in your tone, "you can come here, drink in victory, but I know how cruel you can be."

You sat uncomfortably for a few moments and looked on at the roaring crowds. The rest of the 141 had dispersed among the patrons but you could feel their piercing gaze on your scarred skin. "Nothing to say, Simon," you cynically laughed again, "god you really haven't changed." From the corner of your eye, you could see how he shifted in his seat and picked at the calluses on his hands. It almost felt relieving seeing the amount of power you held over him in this moment. This should have made you whole again. If not the previous altercation in the hallway, then this right here. But as you looked back down at your glass, you still felt the same painful wounds ooze open.

“It’s nice to see you again, Eclipse,” Ghost spoke, barely reaching an audible volume over the loud pub, “I’m haunted by the things I did to you.” At that, you couldn’t help but let your drink drop on the counter, sloshing a sickly reddish brown liquid across the wood. “Sure you fucking are, Simon,” you mumbled as you looked at the mess, “I hope you have nightmares about the shit you did.” He hung his head in response, taking another long swig of his all-too-expensive drink. “Will you ever forgive me?” he asked and you practically could double over laughing. “Gaz and Soap maybe but as for you and the Captain,” you said lowly as you got up from the stool. You leaned closely to his ear to reiterate your sentiments, “You would have to crawl across the earth for my forgiveness.”

[ekingston]

I was gonna be cheeky and ask for 10 and 19 again BUT I shall resist that urge… for now.

I will be sneaky (critical failure) and ask for three (I lied) 28. 30. And 37.

And what the hell, everyone should be proud of their work/s so a 33. (Feel free to pick a couple if this is just asking for a lot - I feel like it is 😅)

I feel like I’m order takeout or reading lotto number here

haha thank you! and the bonus number is…

Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

today i’m reminding myself to practice mindfulness! and not in the sense of breathing exercises or lengthy meditation sessions (although I’m sure those have their benefits too) but by making myself be in the present, paying attention to all of my senses, and remembering that my characters would do the same. you’ll need that material to fill in the little details that draw the reader into your work, that tricky thing that makes them feel like they can’t just see it, but like they’re actually there. life is a sensual experience, and i think our stories should reflect that!

Describe a fic that almost happened, but then didn’t.

this got long, so…

i once scribbled down a dream i had that was a sort of trippy time travel/repeating day type of thing, where Lena was part of a small crew of criminals that used Lena’s tech to travel back in time to aid them with their heists. they would simply rewind time over and over, taking note of the details, learning every possible outcome, eliminating obstacles along the way, practicing the motions often enough to nail the final, perfect execution.

the first scene was a very bloody one, and i came in right in the middle of it, not understanding how Lena and her people could be so callous about the people laying bleeding and dying at their feet, especially because Kara was one of them. Lena’s crew just kept saying they’d ‘fix that next time’, like some sort of cryptic mantra.

in the dream Lena ended up looking for Kara in every run through, charming her in a thousand different ways, always the same, Kara falling for her every time. there were a few rewinds that took her back so far that Kara was still a child, immediately smitten but completely lost on earth, abandoned and alone, and Lena lobbied hard to make sure her crew fixed that, too, even when it meant Lena would never meet her again.

i saw Lena’s crew running down a dark alley over and over again, at least one of their crew dead or dying, at least one other gravely hurt. Kara turned out to be the reason their plan failed every single time. Lena ended up having to turn against her team to save her before they could eliminate her from their timeline completely.

in the end Lena lay dying in child-Kara’s arms, telling her ‘we’ll fix it next time.’ this was when she’d finally discovered Kara wasn’t human. the line i woke up with was Lena telling Kara to promise her, ‘if you figure it out someday—fly up’. the theory being, i think, that if Kara somehow were to fly high enough, fast enough, she’d achieve the same effect Lena did with her tech, and Kara could go back to save Lena instead.

my dreams get pretty elaborate, but they rarely come with as tidy of a plot as this one did, so i bet it already exists somewhere.

Do you research before writing or while you write? Is it fun or boring for you?

i don’t feel i write the kind of stuff that requires a lot of research and that’s probably a good thing! because i will go down absolutely every rabbit hole the internet has to offer when i do and zero writing will get done. my longform WIP TFOT has been brewing since—let me check—December 11, 2022 (thanks @mooosicaldreamz) and i’ve written less than 20k words, including my outline. instead i have spent my time working on it ‘studying’ veterinary medicine, learning about sustainable agriculture, planning trips to Wyoming and wondering alongside Paula Cole where all the cowboys have gone.

Give your writing a compliment.

i can’t tell you how happy it makes me when people tell me i managed to write something that made them laugh out loud. several times even! sometimes waking up their loved ones or startling strangers! i love that so much.

[bodyalive]

Illustration by Monica Garwood

* * * *

From The New York Times Well newsletter

By Carolyn Todd Feb. 9, 2024

Of the thousands of self-help books on the market, which ones are truly helpful? “It’s uncommon to find a self-help book that feels different,” said Vienna Pharaon, a marriage and family therapist in New York City.

But genuinely useful titles abound. The best of the genre invite reflection or offer practical tools to promote emotional, psychological or spiritual well-being. And there are some that therapists personally turn to or suggest to their patients.

“Almost every therapist I know has a whole list of self-help books to recommend,” said Daniel Tomasulo, a counseling psychologist and the academic director of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute at Teachers College, Columbia University.

When sorting through the self-help stacks, who better to help than mental health professionals? We asked seven to share their picks.

1. "The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World," by the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu with Douglas Abrams

How do we experience joy in the face of personal and collective suffering? The Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu spent five days reflecting on their own lives to answer that question, and they compiled their stories and guidance in this 2016 book.

“The Book of Joy” is an opportunity to learn from two spiritual leaders in an intimate, accessible way, said Sona Dimidjian, director of the Renée Crown Wellness Institute at the University of Colorado Boulder.

Through their dialogue, which is punctuated with laughter and tears, the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu teach readers how to cultivate joy and work through difficulties like illness and despair. Dr. Dimidjian recommends the book to “anyone who is feeling overwhelmed by the realities of our world and daily life today,” she said.

2. "The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living," by Russ Harris

This book, first published in 2007, teaches you to accept your negative thoughts and feelings as they arise, instead of resisting or being consumed by them — a refreshing approach known as acceptance and commitment therapy.

Diana Garcia, a South Florida-based therapist, says this easy-to-read primer made her “first fall in love” with ACT. She has clients use the book as a supplement to their sessions and recommends it to friends who are feeling stuck. It teaches you how to keep taking actions that move you in a positive direction regardless of how you’re feeling, she explained.

3. "Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion," by Gregory Boyle

Gregory Boyle is a Jesuit priest who founded Homeboy Industries, a rehabilitation and re-entry program for former gang members. His 2011 book is a collection of real, raw stories about people he worked with and the lessons we can all draw from their experiences.

“Each chapter reads like a Sunday sermon to be savored and meditated upon,” said Jacob Ham, director of the Center for Child Trauma and Resilience at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. While faith is woven throughout the book, Dr. Ham recommends the title to anyone who feels “that their traumas and all the ways they’ve coped with them have left them broken and unredeemable.”

4. "The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity," by Julia Cameron

This 1992 workbook from Julia Cameron, a teacher and author, is a 12-week guide to recovering your sense of childlike creativity. And it’s not just for artists and writers, said Britt Frank, a trauma specialist in Kansas.

“Of all of the books I have ever used with clients, this one has the most staying power,” she said. “Because everyone is creative, and creativity is medicine.”

For years, Ms. Frank has returned to the book’s tools — like the “morning pages,” a stream-of-consciousness journaling practice. And she uses “The Artist’s Way” when treating clients with issues like depression and addiction. But skimmers beware, Ms. Frank cautioned: “It’s not a book you read. It’s a book you work.”

5. "Homecoming: Healing Trauma to Reclaim Your Authentic Self, by Thema Bryant

Thema Bryant is a trauma therapist, ordained minister and professor who offers a “distinctive lens on health, hope and healing trauma,” said Ayanna Abrams, a psychologist in Atlanta.

Drawing on her clinical work, spirituality and personal recovery from trauma, Dr. Bryant shares stories, reflections and exercises in this 2022 title. She helps people believe in their capacity to heal, Dr. Abrams explained. Dr. Bryant also avoids the “gimmicky, bypassing or vague” language that so many self-help books lean on, she added.

6. "The Power of Character Strengths: Appreciate and Ignite Your Positive Personality," by Ryan M. Niemiec and Robert E. McGrath

This 2019 guide helps people recognize, honor and nurture their brightest qualities, Dr. Tomasulo said. The idea of cultivating your “character strengths” comes from positive psychology, which centers on promoting well-being, he explained. “It’s about moving from focusing on ‘what’s wrong’ to ‘what’s strong.’”

People who lean into their character strengths tend to be happier, Dr. Tomasulo said. This book, he explained, is a good pick for “people who are doing OK, but want to have more joy and well-being in their life.”

[Follies of God]

[sappy-witch]

Art Magick 🎨✨

Hello darlings 🥰

Today, let's explore the magical world of art and how it can become a powerful tool for self-expression and spiritual connection. Whether you're an experienced artist or just beginning your artistic journey, art magick can open new doors of inspiration and enchantment. So, grab your brushes, pencils, or any artistic medium that calls to you, and let's dive in!

🎨 Tap into Your Intuition

When engaging in art magick, trust your intuition to guide your creative process. Allow your inner voice to speak through your art, expressing your emotions, desires, and visions. Let the energy flow and guide your hand as you paint, draw, or sculpt.

🎨 Set an Intention: 

Before starting your artistic endeavor, set a clear intention for your artwork. What message or energy do you want to infuse into your creation? Whether it's love, healing, abundance, or any other intention, consciously align your art with your desired outcome.

🎨 Sacred Space for Creation

Create a sacred space dedicated to your artistic practice. Clear the area of any clutter or distractions, and infuse it with positive energy. Surround yourself with objects that inspire you and invoke your creative muse. You can also incorporate crystals, candles, or other symbolic elements to enhance the energetic ambiance.

🎨 Meditative Art 

Engage in meditative art practices to deepen your connection with your inner self and the creative process. Focus your attention on the present moment as you create, allowing your mind to quiet and your intuition to speak. Let the act of art-making become a form of meditation, a gateway to higher states of consciousness.

🎨 Ritualize Your Art Sessions 

Infuse your art practice with ritualistic elements to amplify its magickal potency. Begin by grounding and centering yourself, perhaps through deep breathing or visualization. Invoke your spiritual allies or deities, seeking their guidance and blessings for your artistic journey. Offer gratitude for the creative gifts flowing through you.

🎨 Exploring Symbolism

Delve into the realm of symbolism within your art. Incorporate meaningful symbols, colors, and imagery that resonate with your intentions and spiritual path. Each stroke of the brush or pencil becomes a language of the soul, weaving a tapestry of energy and meaning.

🎨 Share Your Magick

Once your artwork is complete, consider sharing it with others, whether online or in person. Your creation carries a unique vibration and can touch the hearts and souls of those who encounter it. Spread your magick and inspire others through your artistic expression.

The wonderful thing about all this is that there are no rules in art magick - only the freedom to create from your heart and soul. Embrace the journey of self-discovery, healing, and enchantment that unfolds as you merge art with spirituality. 

May your creative endeavors be a portal to infinite possibilities  🎨💕

____

🌞 If you enjoy my posts, please consider donating to my energies 🌞

✨🔮 Request a Tarot Reading Here 🔮✨

____

With love, from a Sappy Witch 🔮💕

Blessed be. 🕊✨

[randomevie]

Basic Intro to Types of Divination

What is divination? 

The definition of divination is “the practice of determining the hidden significance or cause and of events”.

In my own words, divination is a practice in which you can learn more about the unknown in your life and help others know about the unknown in theirs. 

What are the most common types of divination?

The most common types of divination (and the ones that will be detailed in this post) are:

•Cartomancy

•Channeling

•Oracle

•Pendulum

•Shufflemancy

•Tarot

Cartomancy: 

Origins on cartomancy 

It is unknown exactly where cartomancy originated from, as the earliest deck of cards date back to the 9th century, but we have been able to trace this practice as far back as to Europe during the 1360’s. Cartomancy gained popularity in the time between the 18th and 20th century due to its “fortune-telling” abilities. 

What is cartomancy? 

Cartomancy is the practice of divination using a deck of standard playing cards.

How to practice cartomancy 

Begin by acquiring yourself a deck of cards, it can be literally any deck in sight if you wish. 

Cleanse your deck before use, and then you’re good to go! 

Begin shuffling your cards in any way you wish, and as you draw cards (or as they fly out, depending on how you prefer to do divination) lay them in the order that they are drawn and once you feel you have drawn enough cards, begin to interpret them. 

Interpreting cards takes practice, so don’t be discouraged if you find it difficult at first, it will progress and become easier as you go. 

Card meanings:

 [cartomancy meanings|https://newworldwitchery.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/the-new-world-witchery-guide-to-cartomancy.pdf] 

Channeling: 

Origins of channeling

Channeling origins are genuinely the most blurry of all of the forms of divination presented in this post. Channeling began as a way to communicate with the dead, but grew into what we know it as today. 

Around 1000 BCE, channeling was under serious assault because of monotheism, as the practice was considered dangerous. 

Although, channeling does not have one specific origin (as with many other types of divination) it is thought that Ancient Egypt is the birthplace of trance-channeling and dream-channeling. 

What is Channeling?

Channeling is a way to contact beings from other realities or even your spirit guides/higher selves! 

How to Channel

There are many different ways to channel. Personally, I channel telepathically, but you can do it in any way you wish. 

It’s wise to get confirmation you’re channeling the correct person when channeling.

My personal channeling method:

1. Affirm protection and cleanse! 

2. Begin by meditating for a minute and visualizing the person that you are attempting to channel

3. Imagining connecting with the person and feel their energy 

4. Let the channeled session happen and then cut the connection 

There are many different types of channeling so please research into the type of channeling you’re doing before you do it. 

‼️DISCLAIMER‼️

With possession channeling, I highly suggest you do your own research into the safety of it and how to do it, please don’t just ask someone else for advice or jump right into possession channeling because it can be dangerous without the correct knowledge of it. 

Oracle: 

Origins of Oracle

Oracle, similar to tarot and cartomancy, originated in western europe (mostly france) during the 19th century. The first printed oracle cards were the Lenormand cards. These cards where used for psychic readings and spiritual guidance. soon, they gained popularity and became more common for use. 

How to do Oracle Readings

First step is to find yourself a deck of oracle cards! You can make your own or order a deck online!

([Here|https://thetravelingwitch.com/blog/2018/4/17/how-to-create-a-beautiful-oracle-deck-in-8-steps ]a good post about how to make your own oracle deck)

You will cleanse and shuffle oracle cards the same way you do with tarot or cartomancy and interpret them according to your own guidebook if you’ve made your deck or the guidebook that came with your deck. As stated with cartomancy, interpreting may or may not come naturally to you, but don’t be discouraged, the more you practice the better you will become. 

Pendulum 

Origins of Pendulum

Pendulum origins as a divination and dowsing device date all the way back to 400 BCE, having been used by the Pythian Oracle of Delphi. 

In 1833 Michel Eugene Chevreul researched the movement of pendulums and came to the conclusion that it was an involuntary movement of the hand or the wrist, causing the pendulum to swing. Pendulums respond with what your subconscious already knows by having your subconscious force small bodily reactions to have pendulums swing a certain way. 

How to use pendulums/what you can use them for 

With using a pendulum, you will want to hold it by whatever string/chain/etc it is attached to and then ask a question. If you’re asking yes/no I often like to put my palm under my pendulum to balance the energy more. Your pendulum will swing in a certain direction for yes and a certain direction for no, ask your pendulum which is which before doing divination with it! 

Pendulums can also be used with a pendulum board to find names, numbers, etc. As well as finding lost objects, or guiding your way outside of your home. 

Shufflemancy: 

Origins of shufflemancy

Shufflemancy is the newest type of divination detailed in this post. Although I cannot find the exact origins, I would estimate it has not been very long since the origin of shufflemancy, and it likely came along with the creation of more advanced technology. 

How to do shufflemancy

Begin by compiling a playlist of random songs. Make sure you have a wide-range of music, and many songs with many different meanings. This will most accurately give you answers. 

Once this has been done, shuffle away! Press the shuffle button until you are content with the amount of times you’ve shuffled and look at the lyrics. Write down anything that stands out to you in these lyrics, and begin interpreting them in relation to your question. 

Tarot 

Origins of tarot

Tarot originates from a card game in Italy around the 1430s. This game added a 5th suite to the original 4 suite deck of cards (this 5th suite is now known as the major arcana). Divination with these cards became popular in the late 16th and 17th centuries, particularly in Europe around these times. In the 18th century, people had begun to assign specific meanings to each card.

How to do tarot

You will first want to acquire a tarot deck. Once you have done this, cleanse and bond with your deck before doing readings.

When doing readings shuffle your deck however you like. You can shuffle until it feels right and pull cards from the deck, or you can shuffle until cards fly out for you to take.

When you have gotten your cards that are associated with whatever question you are asking, you will interpret them. When interpreting tarot cards you can do it however you like to. Jump around, interpret in order, whatever it may be. 

Tarot meanings:

 https://labyrinthos.co/blogs/tarot-card-meanings-list] is a good site to discover the meanings of tarot cards. 

I hope you enjoyed the post and that it helps you along in your divination journey! If you find any of this information to be correct as of your knowledge, or you have any questions, please feel free to pm or comment!

[hahahahawk]

I want a fake person to live in my computer. But not like that.

The neurospicy coping/productivity technique “body doubling” is about seeing someone doing your desired activity helps your executive functioning circuits let you also do the desired activity.

I’m not a scientist about this, I just have a wonky brain that responds well to this (but not working in an open plan office, go figure (that probably has to do with agency and consent, but this is a derail))

Today I tried a utility/tool/“game” called Spirit City: LoFi Sessions. You get an avatar in a cozy apartment, and both avatar and apartment can be customized. You set the lighting/time of day and tell your avatar where to go (“on the bed”, “at the desk”, “on the window seat”, “by the fire”) and what to do (writing, typing, gaming, drawing, meditating, knitting (as a knitter, I judge the knitting animation “not bad”)).

There are lofi-chill out music playlists in the “game” and rudimentary productivity tools like a todo list, a habit tracker, a pompodoro timer, and a “journal” feature.

The gamification is earning coins (by logging in, having the app open, and using the productivity tools) to buy different furniture/clothes and following hints to find new wacky pets.

I’ve spent about 15 years obsessing over productivity tools and techniques, so that side of the utility did nothing for me. I pay for Spotify, so the included music did nothing for me (the songs were pleasant, but repeated too soon for my liking, and I wasn’t interested in manually switching the playlist every 40 minutes). Dress up/decorating does nothing for me.

Needless to say, I got a refund pretty quickly.

Well, I did… but not without some hesitation because holy shit the body doubling aspect did something for me. At a few junctures in the hour-ish I had the program open, I looked over from my main project, saw my avatar typing away at their desk and thought “hell yeah, we’re getting stuff done” then went back to my project without doing any random googling or checking social media.

I considered keeping the “game” just for that aspect, but

The window didn’t fit well on my vertical monitor

The avatar wouldn’t change tasks/take breaks without my input

I would *so much* love to have a CG avatar in the corner* of my screen that would have its own pompodoro timer and mostly spend 5 hours typing on their laptop in a variety of locations, but also model “get up and stretch/snack/drink water” for me.

The interaction I’d want to have with this avatar:

Patting them on the head to tell them they’re going a good job.

I do *not* want that behavior reciprocated to me because I refuse to be complimented by inanimate objects (or people who don’t know what they’re ‘complimenting’)

Them suggesting I take a break whenever they do

Me notifying them when I start a break/get back to work. (I do a lot of flow state work and usually prefer flexible breaks rather than scheduled ones)

I will accept feedback (and data exports) about my working/taking a break patterns

—-

* I think the large default window was both a blessing and a curse for Spirit City. It allowed the avatar to be big enough to feel like a person in an environment instead of a stick figure in a box. But I don’t actually have a lot of screen real estate to give over. So it’s be nice if the program handled being odd window sizes better.

Anyway, Rusty’s Retirement is an idle game that doesn’t scratch the body double itch (though it might if you identify as a robot), but it is a calm farming game that is designed to only take up a strip along the bottom/side of your monitor and it’s been much better for my productivity. It’s great for the occasional quick hit of dopamine (bring it to the front, plant some crops, queue some bot upgrades, put it away again), and also useful for short breaks. On those longer short breaks, I make larger functional and aesthetic changes to my farm, but it generally takes less than five minutes to catch up/run out of content. After that I’m generally ready to jump back into work, and if I’m not it’s usually a sign I need to stand up and take care of some other needs.

[iamsasuke]

Me and Boruto spent half of his training session today drawing little swirls in the dirt because I'm sad. I told him it's a meditation technique to help shape his rasengan but really I just don't want to do anything.

[opineonionated]

Sator Arepo

The Sator Arepo, or Sator Square, is an ancient word puzzle comprising five palindromes that's etched on various historical sites throughout the Western world. Its origins are unknown, but the square has long been thought to hold magical properties, used as a charm against illness and evil, to cure insanity or to determine whether someone was guilty of witchcraft. Self-styled "punk ethnomusicologist", acoustician and musician Julien Hairon uses this mystical symbol as the starting point for his debut Judgitzu album in an attempt to reconnect with his Celtic heritage, exploring how its hallowed messages might harmonize with contemporary Tanzanian dance music.

Hairon has been traveling across the world for over a decade, collecting field recordings from countries such as Indonesia, Australia, Cambodia, China and Bangladesh, and presenting them on his Les Cartes Postales Sonores label, re-issuing any curious cassettes and CDs he came across on the PetPets' TAPES imprint. It was during this time that he became fascinated by rituals that involved spirits, prompting him to examine his own ancestry when he returned to Brittany. "Many artifacts in the landscape remain," Hairon explains, "and the power of spirits is still palpable." He represents this Celtic mysticism on 'Sator Arepo' with murky drones and magickal synth tones, using xenharmonic scales (tuning outside of standard 12-tone equal temperament) that reach back to the ancient world. These sounds are augmented with fast-paced, sci-fi rhythms informed by his time in Tanzania; "Singeli has contaminated me," admits the producer.

The most astonishing example of this is 'Miracle', a thrusting soundsystem experiment that layers serpentine, bagpipe-esque electronic wails over extravagant clusters of blocky percussion. Driven by the frenetic 175BPM pulse that echoes through the streets of Dar Es Salaam - popularized globally by forward-thinking producers like Sisso, Duke and Jay Mitta - Hairon opens up a rare conversation, seeking to draw parallels between today's most urgent dance forms and the archaic rituals of antiquity. On 'Vitalimetre', Hairon drives his sonic palette into the red, harmonizing with Dutch hardstyle and gabber, and splaying distorted drones over maddeningly blown-out kicks and ratcheting percussion. 'L'or Des Fous' takes a more meditative route, prioritizing Hairon's eccentric tonality with expressive sheets of pitch-warped sound that ghost walk across energized, rattling beats.

If you heard Hairon's last Judgitzu release 'Umeme / Kelele', described by Boomkat as "one of 2019's deadliest dancefloor sessions," then you'll know how mindboggling this material can be. And with 'Sator Arepo', the French producer deepens his reach, grasping a world that we've almost forgotten and juxtaposing it with a landscape most of us barely comprehend.

[ancientcraftnoccultism]

BEGINNER CLASS - Session 3

WHAT IS MAGIC?

___

By KB[AncientCraft]

Introduction

Hello again everyone ♡ Thank you for joining us in our third session for the Beginner Class! Today, we're going to go over a few more terms in order to cover some fundamental grounds. This is to cover the basics of metaphysics and how to begin your metaphysical work. It is crucial to keep in mind that some traditions, especially reconstructionist ones, have their own metaphysical frameworks that might be different from this one. This methodology is used for all witchcraft. Let's get started!

Magic

The manipulation of energies to create results consistent with will is referred to as magic. Magic is a natural process that uses a balance of energies to bring about transformation. Magic operates by combining energy with intent. There are three primary forms of magic, however in this post we'll mostly be concentrating on the first one. Later, I'll write a separate piece diving into the three categories of magic.

Energy - the use of natural abilities to sense, direct, or otherwise manipulate energy.

Psychical - communication or perception by means other than the physical senses.

Divine - this relies on a connection to the Divine. A good example of this would be Deity Work.

Energy

For magic to function, energy is essential. No matter where the energy comes from, in order to perform magick, you must gather or elevate it, give it a purpose or intent, release it, and direct it in the manner of a desired outcome. There are three main sources of energy in which we draw from every day subconsciously.

Personal Energy - This is our life force, our chi, our own personal energy that stems from within. In a lot of traditions, this energy is represented as a deep blue, or indigo color. This energy is sustained within us by the light from the sun and the moon, the food we eat, and the water we drink. We can also raise this energy through movements such as dancing or yoga, as well as through sound such as chanting and singing. Meditation and Grounding are other ways to get in touch with our personal energy.

Earth Energy - This is the life force of our planet. All things of nature carry this energy, everything from stones to trees.

Divine Energy - This is the energies that resides within elements in relation to the Divine. We are able to request or summon these energies through working with different parts of the Divine through Deity Work.

Personal Energy

When outlining the sources of power I mentioned the personal energy; but, because it is directly connected to our life force, it is limited, and consuming too much of it can leave you feeling exhausted, lightheaded, or even ill. It negatively impacts your spirit, which could have an impact on your physical health. Fortunately, there are ways to boost and refuel our personal power. Here are the three easiest ways to do so.

Drawing Energy - This requires you to tap into another source of energy in order for it to "recharge" yours. This can be done using just about anything but some of the most common things include Crystals, herbs, earth energy, the Moon, and the Sun.

Raising Energy - This encourages independent replenishing through movement or sound. Some of the most common methods include yoga, chanting, art, or other physical activities.

Rest - This is by far the simplest method, but it is also the slowest. I have found in my personal experience that eating and taking a shower or bath helps as well.

Intent

While it is not the most important foundation for magical workings, it can only be executed with intent. The intention behind a working directs the energy that was raised toward its objective. There are many techniques to direct intent, but the most popular ones include using words or incantations, visualizing, and concentrating your mind on your intended goal.

Incantations - Words or phrases that are spoken, sang, or chanted in relation to the working at hand in order to direct energy towards your goal. It can be very fun to write out poetry with Old English, but please keep in mind your incantation needs to be specific about what your goal is.

Focus - The mind is a powerful thing. This is very important, as where your mind travels, so does the energy. You want your mind to be completely focused on your ultimate goal before you direct and release the energy, otherwise, the energy will go in directions you did not intend for it to. This will be a very useful tool for those of you who find it difficult to visualize.

Visualization - This is the process of constructing internal images to provide a clearer focus of intent. In my personal opinion, this is hands down the best way to focus intent.

Visualization

There are two main types of visualization.

Active Visualization - Focusing the mind on a specific goal or outcome.

Passive Visualization - Letting images appear in mind as they come and go. This is common in Divination.

Your primary mode of visualization when performing workings will be active visualization, specifically creative visualization. The act of seeing your intention or wish come true in your head through creative visualization. This signals to the amplified energy what aim it should be directed. When using creative visualization, it's crucial to concentrate on the outcome rather than the problem you're trying to address. There are three string principles in order to have a successful creative visualization session.

Belief - Believe in your goal as well as your ability to accomplish it. Doubt is a giant roadblock for the visualization process, as it sends conflicting signals to the energy that is being directed.

Desire - There must be a very strong drive and desire for whatever it is your goal may be. This allows for a clearer image and provides a more precise direction for the energy to follow.

Visualize - Create a clear mental image of your desired goal. The more details and specific, the better your chances at success are. Don't picture the problem, picture the solution and embody the feelings that come along with the success. Using your emotions as an aid for your energy work will help provide the clearest image possible.

Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction is the process or construction of an energy force that interacts with physical particles, people, and events, tending to attract them together and preventing their separation. When anything or someone is brought together magnetically, it is said to be under the influence of attraction. The challenge for all of humanity is to recognize our genuine Self, the I Am, our inner divinity. As we attain this, we are to use the magnetic force deliberately in all of our creations, based on our awareness of cause and effect and the Law of Believing and Knowing. Creation is formed and composed of the aggressive and receptive principles. This theory is also known as the Yin and Yang principle in many Far Eastern civilizations.

Now, not everyone holds the notion that commonplace, everyday thoughts possess magnetic strength. However, in a metaphysical context, when energy is being raised, ideas and especially intent definitely do tend to be magnetic. This is why it's important to completely concentrate on the solution rather than the issue while focusing your purpose, whether you're visualizing, utilizing incantations, or just directing your thoughts.

The primary exception to this would be when you are banishing something or someone with the intention of taking it away. In that instance, you would need to concentrate on the issue, but concentrate on it being eliminated or exiled rather than on it continuing to cause trouble. Other exceptions might exist besides this one, but they would largely depend on the circumstances and be left up to the practitioner's discretion.

Affirmations

In order to develop positive thinking and dispel negative thoughts, affirmations are positive phrases that are repeated. They function somewhat as a type of magic on their own and are highly helpful in spells and rituals. They should always be positive, in the present tense, and result-oriented when utilized in workings. They can be employed independently or as a component of a larger working, such as an invocation.

[lovingk9z]

To any busy-brained people wanting to meditate more often:

I wish someone had told me sooner that meditation isn't only helpful when you're being guided or focusing purely on your breath.

Anyone out there with busy brains that never seem to shut up, use that to your benefit during meditation!!

Of course so many of us don't feel too inclined to meditate, despite knowing the benefits. It sounds!!! So fucking boring!! Who wants to sit in silence and spend 10-30 minutes trying and failing to focus on one thing! Not us!!!

UNTIL. Until you realize that you can actually use that busy brain to your advantage. Use it to emotionally process some shit you've been pushing down for forever, use it to think about all the good things that happened today, or even the bad.

When it comes to the bad, you could spend ages picking it apart.

"What could I of done better?"

"What didn't I like about that?"

"Why didn't I like that?"

"How can I work through that feeling?"

And picking it apart like that is so insanely helpful. If it gets too much, you can bring yourself back to your breath. Count to yourself as you draw a breath in, and let it out slowly.

Suddenly a 30 minute meditation I normally would've found impossible to sit still for, goes by so damn fast. I end the session almost wishing I gave myself more time, and I can tomorrow!

I cannot stress enough how important meditation is. How important emotional processing is, especially in world where distracting yourself and running from those emotions is so damn easy.

We all need to get better at spending time with ourselves, not just our distractions.

[passiveincomemoney]

Mastering Mindfulness: Tips for Incorporating Mindfulness into Your Everyday Life

Mindfulness entails immersing yourself fully in the present moment and acknowledging thoughts and emotions without judgment or distraction. Though simple, its impact on mental wellness and life quality can be profound. Explore these actionable steps to seamlessly incorporate mindfulness into your everyday life:

Start with a Daily Routine: Establishing a regular mindfulness practice can help you reap the benefits more fully. Choose a specific time each day to engage in a mindfulness exercise, whether it's for five minutes in the morning or during a break at work.

Mindful Eating: Take the time to savour your food. Notice the colours, textures, flavours, and aromas. Chew slowly and appreciate each bite. This not only enhances the eating experience but also can aid in digestion and satisfaction with meals.

Mindful Walking: Transform your walks into a meditative experience. Pay attention to the sensation of your feet touching the ground, the rhythm of your breath, and the surrounding sounds. This can be a refreshing way to connect with your environment and the present moment.

Body Scan Meditation: Lie down and bring your attention to different parts of your body. Notice any sensations, tension, or relaxation. Starting from the top of your head and moving to your toes can help you become more attuned to physical sensations and release stored tension.

Mindful Breathing: Focus on your breath. Feel the air entering and leaving your nostrils, or the rise and fall of your chest. This can be done anywhere and is a quick way to centre yourself when feeling overwhelmed.

Single-Tasking: In a world that often values multitasking, choose to do one thing at a time. Whether it's writing an email or washing dishes, give it your full attention. This practice can improve concentration and performance.

Mindful Listening: When conversing with others, listen with full attention. Notice the tone of voice, facial expressions, and your reactions. This can lead to more meaningful connections and understanding.

Mindful Colouring and Drawing: Engage in creative activities like colouring or drawing without a specific goal. Focus on the process and the sensations of the materials against the paper.

Yoga: Incorporate yoga into your routine to combine mindfulness with physical activity. Focus on your breath and the alignment of your body to enhance both mental and physical health.

Set Intentions: Begin your day by setting an intention. It could be as simple as, “Today, I will be kind to myself and others,” or “I will stay grounded in the present.”

Reflect: End your day with reflection. Take a few moments to think about what went well, what you learned, and what you are grateful for.

Engaging in mindfulness doesn't demand fancy gear or lengthy sessions. It's about actively embracing the present moment in whatever you do. By weaving these practices into your daily routine, you pave the way for a more mindful approach to life, fostering tranquillity, focus, and fulfilment.

For a deeper dive into mindfulness, explore resources like the Mindfulness Exercises and Tips page from Mind, or the comprehensive guidance offered by Positive Psychology. These tools provide ample support to enhance your mindfulness journey and seamlessly integrate it into your life. Remember, consistency is key. Start small, be kind to yourself, and witness the transformative impact on your everyday experiences.

[makespaceforspirit]

Chakra painting by K. Ibura Circling back to the story of the farmer that I mentioned in my last post, both calamity and luck have the possibility of being good or bad fortune in the long run. As life continues to roll on, we sometimes find that huge wins or losses become neither good nor bad, just a point in our life story.

Yesterday during my meditation session, I felt a lot of volume and weight in my root chakra area—almost like a heavy lump of stuck energy resting in a bowl. I worked on different ways to release that stuck energy. When I attempted to move on, I was pulled to remain in the root chakra area and continue trying to clear out the weighty energy.

When I was finally released, I went up the chakras one by one, sending energy through them and envisioning their colored light shining through. When I got up to the crown chakra and reached upwards to connect to the universe, I felt a huge whoosh of energy rush through me, clearing everything out, including what was left of the stuck energy in my root chakra area.

Whew.

What a clear illustration of the limits of my human consciousness. When that huge burst of energy swooped through me, it was like a physical sensation cleaning me out, reminding me that the answers and solutions won't be found in my past or in my mental capacities or my efforts. I can soar by connecting with the larger stream of the universe, getting in the flow, and surrendering my worry.

This is not a revelation, but the reminder is revelatory. It's not a revelation because humans have been turning their lives over to a higher power since the beginning of our existence. We have so many religious systems that we use to calm our minds, soothe our spirits, and give us the faith to continue on in this unknowable, challenging journey called life. But the reminder was revelatory because we, as humans, are not even conscious where we are drawing energy from. It is seductively easy to live only from our past lived experiences. Believing, for example, that if something has never worked before, that it will never work. Believing that if you can't see the way you're going to reach a goal, it's impossible to reach it. Believing only in what your limited experiences have proven, even as we look around us and see other humans achieving first time experiences all the time.

I am not an airy person. I'm a grounded and practical person. My spirituality is anchored in my need to walk though this world as a functioning human. Without some faith that energy from the universe will, from time to time, come whooshing through and sort me out, I'm not sure how far I would be able to travel on this journey. I am grateful for all the reminders, big and small, that I can rely on myself, AND I can be sure that I'll be getting help on the journey if I let it in.

Have you had experiences where the universe gave you an assist when you were stuck? Where help came out of nowhere and/or a path that was blocked is suddenly clear and accessible to you? If you are stuck, may this be your reminder that the assistive winds of the universe are active and present. You may need to release a mindset or a belief to access them. You may need some quiet time or to take a small leap. Whatever it is, I'm hoping that you feel the breeze of support whoosh through you today—and that it points the way to a sustainable path to keep you closer to your own soul and the flow of the universe.

🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

Onward,

—K. Ibura

[doomedandstoned]

Montréal Ambient Post-Hardcore Troupe MILANKU Unveil New Music Video

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By Billy Goate

It's the weekend! Time for deep breaths and a slower pace and reflection. At least time enough to check out the new music video from MILANKU. The five-member Montréal band conjures an ethereal sound that takes advantage of ambient soundscapes to drop a robust blend of post-everything.

Milanku's new record is entitled 'À l'aube' (2023), which translates to "At dawn." Each track on the album takes a que from there, starting with misty atmosphere, perhaps representing various stages of the rising sun. This is followed by a radiant post-rock instrumental push with post-hardcore vocal inflections.

The band sings in French, as well, with lyrics inspired by the poetry of French-Czech writer Milan Kundera (b. 1929), who wrote The Unbearable Lightness of Being -- a book that muses about philosophical themes like time, happiness, and eternal return (the idea that everything in the universe repeats itself).

In fact, the song titles themselves are each piece of a poem, which like the music delves into poignant feelings of loneliness, despair, and consolation. Milanku gave us this window into their creative process:

Most of the skeleton of the album was built before the pandemic. After a few months of downtime, we refined and modified the songs and recorded the songs in two studio sessions. The pandemic had an impact on the sound of all the songs on the album. Without the pandemic, the result of the album would not be the same at all. The album sounds like a whole, a maturity of the band and a story that is told from the first note to the last.

Having revealed the opening track already, today Milanku reveals the album closer: "À l'aube; nous sommes disparus" ("At dawn; we will be gone"). It features Erika Angell from Thus Owls.

The most musically emotional track of the album, this song starts off as a sweet guitar melody and slowly turns into a storm featuring Erika’s voice as the grand priestess of this storm that everyone is trying to escape. The lyrics in Swedish and French make it even more mystical.

Milaku's À l'aube doesn't just rage against the gloom; it observes it, experiences it deeply, and reaches tirelessly towards hope. The sound absolutely envelops you in ecstatic glory by album's end. Look for it March 31st on Folivora Records (pre-order here). For fans of Cult of Luna, Godspeed You Black Emperor, and Neurosis

Give ear...

WATCH & LISTEN: Milanku - "À l'aube; nous sommes disparus"

SOME BUZZ

If Milanku draws its origins from the work of Milan Kundera, the soundtrack is definitely more on the side of the thundering density of the being than of its "unbearable lightness", galvanized by the Czech author.

From the start, Milanku hammers out its brutal character, infused with melancholy, even dystopia, and standing straight upright on the wire: defiant, shouting, and inspired.

Mesmerized by the warrior's rage, flayed by its own doldrums, the quartet relies on pared-down arrangements and an oft-staged vocal presence, harmonizing like an instrument, and howling at the big time, but plastered with a disquieting sense of dilettante.

À l'aube by Milanku

At the heart of the enterprise, tearing off the peels of flapping skins, we explore the state of affairs of the contemporary genre, tragic, desolate, where any notion of common sense seems diffuse in the amalgam of trompe-l'oeil. The texts are meditative, inquisitive and the observations that emanate from them, weep and persist in trying to make sense of it, through its ever-growing losses of illusion.

With four full-length releases behind them, Milanku presents today 'À l'aube' (2023), a five-track burn that breathes new life into a caste of disenfranchised people, imbued with a disarming lucidity, and gives itself a framework and a voice to pull its head out of the swamp.

Photo by Nick Shaw

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Discover inner peace, strength, and flexibility as you dive deep into the practice of yoga

In the midst of all of today's chaos and stress in society, the much-needed quest for most has finally been sought-after inner peace. Few things can even hope to compare with the practice of yoga, promising to beautify a mind prone to ideas and strengthen the body. This ancient art of discipline not only assists in developing flexibility in the body but builds mental strength and emotional balance. And if you're considering taking up this holistic journey, a detailed yoga and meditation course might be what you're looking for.

The Essence of Yoga

It is indeed much more than performing some set of poses; it's an exercise that binds together body, mind, and spirit. The term "yoga" itself originates from the Sanskrit root "yuj," which implies the meaning to unite. If you enroll for a full course in yoga, then you begin a journey for uniting your whole self. You would learn to listen to your body as well as mind; you would understand your personal strengths and weaknesses through the theory of practicing physical postures (asanas) and through respiration (pranayama) and meditation.

Learn Yoga Course: Your Gateway to Transformation

Many people shy away from yoga because they believe that in order to begin with yoga, a certain level of fitness or flexibility is required. This is certainly not true, though; yoga can be of great help for any individual regardless of their skill set in the beginning, and a distance yoga course allows you to practice at your convenience and pace. You can learn techniques, deepen knowledge of a range of postures, and develop the meditative side of yoga-all of which from the comfort of your home.

A good learn complete yoga course would introduce you to as many different styles as possible-you could be introduced to very high-intensity flows like in Vinyasa yoga or to very gentle, restorative practices that you find in Yin yoga. From such diversity, you are allowed the possibility to experiment with different modalities and understand what might resonate with your personal journey. Overall, you will start noticing improvement both in the strength and flexibility of the body but also start experiencing clarity in mental settings and resilience in emotional conditions.

Inner Peace

The most important benefit a yoga and meditation class teaches is inner peace. Repeated training will provide you with ways of quietening your mind and extracting yourself from day-to-day stress. Meditation is the backbone of almost all yoga; it quiets you and allows you to shift into a very deep level of relaxation, drawing you into a level of greater awareness and consciousness about yourself.

As you become more conscious of yourself, you will find stressful situations not necessarily a thrilling and daunting task. You will learn how to cope when problems occur with grace and poise. Such serenity is invaluable that changes your reaction to these swings in life.

Strengthening Flexibility

The physical aspects of yoga cannot be undervalued. Signing up for an entire course in yoga will surely enhance your level of strength and flexibility as well in the body. Different postures stimulate various groups of muscles and, in general, you are bound to increase your levels of fitness with a relatively normal and healthy workout. You can begin with elementary postures and gradually work your way through more advanced asanas, noticing how your body transforms at each session.

Flexibility is not only a physical thing but is also a softer, more resilient mindset. As you stretch your body forward, and bend backward, changes may be occurring in your thoughts and emotions about life as well, providing sometimes with an opening for a softer landing in life's ups and downs. By relaxing rigidity of the body as well as in mind, one can move better through the change.

Even further into the practice of yoga, you would go after attending a comprehensive course in yoga and meditation, which may lead to changes in life for more profound aspects. While working on attaining inner peace, strength, and flexibility, you will gradually be on the path toward holistic wellness. Irrespective of whether you opt for contact or distance yoga courses, it's dedication to the practice that matters.

In a world that is yearning for calm, resilience, and flexibility, the practice of yoga is a haven. Join this journey today, and you shall see magic where you open your heart and mind to these teachings. You are on your way to peace now!