#and for the reason i have not been posting as much as i would like
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When i was like 15 i was outed as trans to my parents. This caused them take full control of my body and life for the next 4 years. Everyday my outfit was picked for me (an outfit that caused me incredible discomfort). They would force me to shave myself, or do it themselves. They took away my access to the internet, and consequently my friends, for a decent portion of that time. And all of these things had other indirect affects on my life too, like never being able to learn to drive or get a job before i became an adult because i was just too uncomfortable all the time that doing so wouldve been more trouble than it was worth.
And so all of this on top of the normal lack of control i had as a teenager drove me insane and made me incredibly depressed. I tried to express defiance wherever i could, but it often got in me in more trouble—lessons to shut the fuck up that i would just never learn because i needed the control so bad. I ended up developing an eating disorder and a habit of pulling allnighters for no reason, just to reclaim some control over my life. Even if it was hurting me, at least it was one thing i had for myself. (And these habits still affect me somewhat to this day even though i am no longer in that situation).
I don’t mean to hijack this post, but i think the loss of control that comes with being a queer kid, and especially a trans kid, who isn’t accepted is an aspect of the experience that isn’t articulated enough. Saying things like “my mom wouldn’t let me wear what i wanted to wear” make it sound stupid and trivial, but it really is a much bigger deal. Even if your not trans it’s a big deal. Its taking away more of what little control you have in your life. And if you are trans it becomes even more painful on top of that. Just the entire concept of trying to control who your kids are or how they present, the thesis of anti-queer child abuse, is just fundamentally harmful to any child, whether they are actually queer or not.
yesterday i was hiking with my dog and passed by a family with their 14 yo princess of darkness trotting behind them in very unsuitable clothes and uncomfortable shoes that clearly weren't meant to get dirty on forest mud. oh the quintessential teenage experience of doing something in a way that is stupid and sucks because it's important that it's your own way 🫡
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hey elleeeee
could i pretty please do 🐻 the sharing a bed prompt, “cuddling in their sleep” + “waking up with their faces centimetres apart”. with remus but theyre not together just pinNING for eachother and this happens.
consider it done
Remus Lupin x roommate!reader who cuddle for warmth and that's totally it [641 words]
CW: fem!reader, Remus sort of pining, but maybe it's not one sided!?!?, fluff, sort of a continuation from this post
Remus thinks he should perhaps feel a little guilty having taken advantage of the current situation; his original offer certainly hadn’t been a selfless one.
Was the flat sodding freezing? Yes, it was. Would he have been up worrying all night that you’d died of hypothermia in your own bed? Absolutely. Was it indeed warmer having consolidated every blanket and pillow the two of you owned into one bed and sharing body heat to stay more comfortable? Damn right it was.
But, it was because of all these aforementioned reasons that Remus felt it was perhaps a touch unethical to be enjoying his current situation as much as he did.
The two of you were gripping each other’s hands and arms as if you were both afraid the other would simply float away had you not been holding on for dear life. The soft, cloud filtered light bathing your face in its glow; your head resting on one of his pillows he hoped to god smelled like you, now, that was but a few measly centimetres away from his own face.
He found himself nearly holding his breath as though he was afraid to disturb the peace of this moment, one that he'd been fighting against yet secretly yearning for since he realised how much he enjoyed your presence; perhaps a bit too much to be simply considered roommates, or even just friends.
He catalogued the way your eyelashes fanned from beneath your closed eyes and kissed the tops of your cheeks, fluttering ever so slightly when something would happen in your dream. He revelled in the way that you seemed to be smiling, even in your sleep; your lips relaxed and pursed ever so slightly as you breathed through your nose.
Your nose - it was stupid and foolish and silly, but fuck - he loved your nose.
And this might well and truly be the one and only time he got to enjoy you like this, so sue him for what he did next.
He hardly had to move at all, really, he simply pushed his chin forward so that his nose bumped into yours. He was checking, you see, because he knew his nose was cold from the cool air surrounding your nest of pillows and blankets and body heat, but he needed to see if yours was too. He couldn’t in good conscience sit here and admire your nose if you were about to lose it to frostbite, now could he?
Remus found himself smiling at the fact that your nose, for whatever reason, was slightly warmer than his. Good, he thought, I’d like her to keep her nose.
“You’re supposed t’be sleeping.” You blurt rather suddenly for Remus’ tastes, still never opening your eyes as Remus rears his head back, though you strengthen your hold on his hands and arms so that he can’t actually move away from you.
“How long have you been awake?” He accuses you instead of admitting he was being a creepy fuck and watching you sleep.
You don’t answer him, though. Instead, you let out a languid stretch before releasing your hold of his hands in favour of wrapping your arms around his torso and slotting yourself against him; legs tangled with his and your nose - colder than the skin of his collarbone - pushing into his neck as you tucked yourself under his chin.
“Go t’sleep, Rem.” You order him, tightening your hold around his chest as he allows his arms to cautiously encircle you in his own embrace; one hand splayed between your shoulder blades, and the other cupping the back of your head lovingly.
He didn’t follow your order, unfortunately. But he did spend the rest of the morning wondering, hoping, nearly begging the universe that perhaps this might not be the last time he gets to enjoy you like this.
#elle's hibernating#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#remus lupin#roommate!remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#marauders#the marauders#mauraders#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin fic#remus lupin ficlet#remus lupin fluff#fem!reader#ellecdc fics
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𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 | Lucien De Leon x reader
↝ masterlist | requests? | ao3 | update blog | fic rec | ko-fi
summary | it was never a favor, allowing him to take up space in your apartment. but, time after time, he finds his way back and somehow, it brings an unexpected normalcy to your life.
author's note | in my heart, it's still flores. but canonically its de leon. i had the opportunity to watch the movie and hot take, it was...alright. but pedro's character made me just as feral as i expected. so here's this absolute monster for no reason other than, well, me ovulating.
content warning | 18+ mdni, the uninvited spoilers, set post-movie, roommates to lovers, enemies to lovers, reader works in the film industry, financial hardship, shitty living situations, lucien is a schmooze and a drunk, but also a sweetheart, angst, feelings, reader has shit luck with dating, there's also smut in here somewhere i swear (oral, couch sex, unprotected piv, all the good stuff)
word count — 11k (sorry lmfao)
“Lucien?” You grumble around the chewy granola bar you’ve snatched from the craft table, “Lucien De Leon?”
The agent, Lucien’s agent—James, also working for a few of the on-set cast, looked hopeless.
He nods, squeezing tight at the phone in his hand, one more inconvenience text from snapping it in half.
“No,” You refuse, chewing at the sweet and sticky granola, “why—why me? My tiny apartment?”
“He’s exhausted any other chance,” The agent explains vaguely—yeah, real convincing, this guy, “listen—I like you, you’ve helped me in plenty of binds. It’ll be two weeks before he’s leaving for work, I just need somewhere to keep him for a while.”
“You’re making it seem like I’d be dog sitting or something,” You retort, watching as the agent glanced down at his phone, notifications spilling in, “this is Lucien—controversy magnet, and he’s rude—”
“You’ve gotta get to know him—”
“The one set I’ve worked on with him he spilled my coffee on me and acted like I made him do it. Fuck him, tell him to sleep on a bench.”
“I’ll pay you,” He scrambles, “Just—please?”
You pause, narrowing your gaze. Being a production assistant hadn’t been the life of luxury, minimal pay in an overpriced city in a shitty apartment with barely decent and affordable rent was nothing short of miserable.
“How much?”
“A thousand,” He offers—a shrug of uncertainty follows.
Silence stretches.
“Two thousand? Come on–that’s a thousand for each week.”
“Make it three and you’ve got a deal.”
The agent is quiet for a few seconds before he caves, sighing heavily, “Fuck, fine. Three. Can I drop him off tonight?”
“Tonight?” You balk, “You know, you’re actually the worst.”
His hands grip your shoulders, shaking you with far too much force than needed, “You’re a lifesaver, thank you.”
He’s long gone and buried in a phone call before you grumble a disgruntled, “You’re welcome.”
-
You consider later that evening that disclosing the recent…activities around your apartment complex would have been a good idea, especially with someone as high profile as Lucien taking up space in your one bedroom apartment.
Three break-ins in the past two weeks, noisy and unruly neighbors both above and sandwiching you—it wasn’t exactly peaceful or safe, but it was something.
You wait with a creeping anxiety as you tap your chopsticks against the homemade ramen you’ve made for yourself, one true moment of happiness in the day as you’re finally sitting down to relax, feet aching terribly.
It was coffee runs and constant back and forths over forgotten supplies or paperwork—it was the perfect job to keep you active and on your toes, never sure when someone might blow up on you for whatever reason it may be—you were nothing special, helpful, but when it came down to it, you were more or less in the way, so you often made yourself small out of habit.
The knock that startles you is hurried, like a panic. It sends your heart rate skyrocketing but your name echoes on the other side of the door, scrambling to open the door, you’re faced with two men.
The agent, James, a decent man despite his unorganized and erratic personality—and Lucien, a piss poor disguise covering his face.
You snort, addressing the ball cap and sunglasses with an amused expression, it was doing nothing to cover the instantly recognizable wispy brown hair of his and aquiline nose���the upcoming king of stage and screen. It was a wonder he even made it here in one piece.
“A natural chameleon,” You joke, widening your door to let them inside—the apartment was clean, thankfully. You’d scramble to get home after work and pick up, given you didn’t have much time to actually prepare, “seriously—get inside before someone clocks you.”
The agent stays though, like his feet were planted.
“He’s all yours,” He tells you, “you’ve got my number—don’t let him leave. I’ll check in when I can. Keep an eye out for paps.”
“Hey, no—” You interject, watching as the agent turned on his heels and departed, “we didn’t agree to—”, turning the corner with a shout of a long, helpless, “that!”
You sigh with a deep frown, turning over your shoulder to find Lucien with a chopstick in hand, noodle dangling from the utensil with a curious face, sniffing it cautiously.
“Hey!” You chastise, plucking the chopstick from his fingers, “Stop that.”
He looks at you curiously, obviously taken aback by your tone of voice and lack of intimidation by him, like a startled cat.
Jesus, okay.
You force a calming breath through your nose and look up at him, “Would you like some?”
“Is it gluten free?” Lucien inquires, peering over your shoulder at the still steaming hot bowl of soup.
“Actually, yeah,” Your brow furrows, “it—it is.”
“Sure,” He shrugs, beginning to remove his cap and glasses, along with his jacket, resting them haphazardly on the kitchen island as he takes a seat on the only other unoccupied barstool in your kitchen.
“Oh no,” You swiftly rectify his actions, “we’re not doing this—there’s a coat rack for a reason and a shelf by the door for things like,” You walk toward the front door, hand circling the object like a cherished belonging, “keys—sunglasses, hats,” You stress the final two words and point at the items before jutting your thumb frustratingly at the door, “—if you don’t mind, while I make your dinner.”
It was clear he’s spent most of the past several years with people ready and waiting on him, never questioning or ordering around, but it was basic human decency, you weren’t going to allow him to be amiss to it.
He obliges quietly, a surprise to you. You hide the satisfied smirk as you pour the broth into the bowl along with the noodles before placing the bowl on his side of the island, placing another dish near him, scattered with different toppings.
Lucien looks silently intrigued, the ends of his mouth curling down in interest as he sprinkles various toppings over his food, beginning to eat silently as you return to your own meal.
After a long enough silence and Lucien’s occasional slurping you decide to set a hard boundary, given the various personalities you’ve dealt with in the industry, it was you being proactive out of habit.
“Let me be clear, I’m not doing this out of the goodness of my heart,” You inform him, locking eyes with his intense stare, something you hadn’t forgotten, not since the on-set incident, “This is still my home. Don’t be an asshole about it.”
“James said you were a firecracker,” Lucien smirks slightly, resting his chopsticks along the top of the bowl, “and a little bit of a bitch, but—”
“Good, he hasn’t lost his mind then.”
“Don’t worry, I’m a professional at this shit now. You won’t even know I’m here.”
Highly unlikely, you think.
He even makes a point by grabbing his bowl and emptying it before placing it in the sink before extending his hand out to your own bowl. You watch him wash the dishes, something that looks unnatural, but you aren’t going to complain.
“You always cook like that?” Lucien asks curiously over the running water, head turning over his shoulder briefly.
“No, only Friday. I never have time otherwise, work is…busy,” A generous way to describe it, but Lucien doesn’t seem to care or question, drying off the last dish before extending his hands out by his side in a grand gesture.
Maybe he was expecting a roaring applause, but you don’t give him the satisfaction. You offer him a genuine thank you but it doesn’t extend beyond that before you’re trailing a few feet over toward the living room, a clean pillow and blanket draped over the couch, along with a fitted sheet if he felt like using it. It was all unmade, allowing him to set it up himself.
“Also,” You clasp your hands together at your front, “James didn’t mention this because I didn’t tell him but we’ve had a string of break-ins for a while now, so—always keep the deadbolt locked. Please.”
His eyes widen, looking around the apartment for the quickest escape. You were on the seventh floor, the only other escape option was a less than reliable balcony that you barely used.
“I have a bat,” You tell him, before pointing toward the door beside the entrance, “in the shoe closet, but I think we’re okay.”
“Think?”
You shrug, “It hasn’t happened yet, but the police have shit response time around here.”
Lucien looks overwhelmed, but nods.
“Oh, and the neighbors like to have really loud sex—walls are thin. Have fun.”
“No puedo creer esta mierda—” He mumbles under his breath as you turn your back, a sharp flap of a sheet, and a short laugh from you follows.
“Blame your agent, Lucien.”
He didn’t think you’d understand him, but your astute hearing proved otherwise.
Lucien was putting on an act with his gesture, clearly.
He doesn’t respond, pouting his way through the process of setting up his new bed for the next couple weeks in silence, ignoring the soft click to your door as you turn in for the night, the creeping and soft city noises filtering in through the thin apartment walls.
It wouldn’t be an easy night but he's never really liked big, empty houses anyways.
—
The weekend is uneventful; you fear it might be a dream, too good to be true, a complete fluke.
Maybe he had a change of heart overnight, but Lucien is overly polite.
He deconstructs his bed both mornings, packing it away in a corner of the living room, listening to the television at a reasonable volume with fresh coffee in the coffee pot, he cleans up his dishes and leaves a marginal mess.
The real kicker—he has the ability to keep the toilet seat down with your now shared bathroom attached to your bedroom, a real…gentleman.
You eyed him suspiciously most of the day, when he’s unaware and preoccupied, wondering when the facade would drop. Does he even remember the coffee incident?
He had to, right?
He approaches with a silent gesture of his emptied cup as you fill your own.
Fine—you pull the cup from his grip and fill it to the brim, sliding it back over carefully.
He sips gingerly as he raises it to his lip before speaking, “S’good coffee.”
“Thanks,” You answer nonchalantly, pouring a generous amount of sugar and cream into your coffee and stirring, watching as the dark black lightened into a soft brown, “are you a coffee guy?”
“I’m an anything guy,” Lucien responds, “but—good, it’s good. I’m impressed.”
“Why?” You ask with a little more bark than needed, a flippant tone rounding out your morning irritation as you readied for work. “Are you—you really don’t remember, do you?”
Lucien raised his eyebrows in question, expectant.
“Your last job, up in Hollywood Hills. You spilled coffee all over me, blamed me, then got me suspended for a week, because of your outburst. I barely managed rent that month”
His eyes narrow, recollecting the thought like he’d been stricken with temporary amnesia.
“You’re all so much of the same, y’know?” You continue, sipping generously from your cup as his face relaxes, following your movements with a casual glance. “Cocky, egotistical, little dicked men. Without me you wouldn’t have that ridiculous fifteen dollar hyper whateverthefuck water you insisted you needed in your trailer, or your dry cleaning? God forbid. Seriously, fuck you.”
“Wait—” Lucien staunches, hold his hand up in pause, “hold on—”
You wait for approximately half a second before you roll your eyes, pushing beyond him to gather your bag and keys, “You know, I don’t need a disingenuous apology. I’m not doing this as a favor. I’m being paid.”
James had lied to him, that much he was figuring out as he processed the situation. You weren’t someone offering up free charity, a helping hand for a starving actor in need—except that wasn’t the case for him. Despite his team's careful guidance; he was a repeat offender of bad choices and money management, a part-time alcoholic, and a serial flirt. He knew how to play his hand and he was good at it, but with you—it was clear that you were a challenge.
But, it was only a couple weeks. He could survive that. He was a people person first and foremost and he’d charm the hell out of you if given the opportunity.
“James said he’d be by in an hour to pick you up for your meetings today—lock the door when you leave. Please.”
Still speechless, he watches you leave with a stiff, crisp shut of the door.
He couldn’t remember, racking his brain for one incident after another. His own fair share made him cringe in hindsight, but he…couldn’t remember. He’d almost hoped you were a fresh face, leaving him free of judgment, but it was clear that this situation was about pure survival.
-
“You did do that,” James confirmed to him as they left the first brand meeting that morning, “It was the morning of the big awards show—you remember?” He doesn’t wait for Lucien’s response, continuing, “Poor kid got her ass chewed out and had to take a trip to the clinic for the burns. It was…a mess. Never cried, though. I’ll give her that.”
And, like a strike of a match, it floods back. You’re shocked expression, mouth slightly agape as the sting of pain settled in, bracing for the impact of Lucien’s wrath because you knew. A man allergic to accountability, oozing power, it was almost too easy.
“Shit.”
“Yeah. Apologies seem pointless now, but it could help. But…be genuine.”
“I’m genuine.”
James gives him a certain look, one that argues otherwise.
“I am.”
Only time would tell, really.
By the end of your work day, it was with great relief as you stepped through the door of your apartment until you remembered one fine detail you had told Lucien more than once.
Lock the door.
The eeriness hits you as the door clicks shut behind you, the place falling into a dead silence for a brief moment, your bag hitting the counter as you maneuvered your keys between your fingers, ready to take on what you could with what little strength you had to offer.
Just maul their face off, that seemed like the best option.
You count the seconds in your head, breath held tight and constricted in your chest. You quickly check the available pathways—living room, kitchen, before slipping down the hall, left with the only room to flee if not away from your apartment.
Bedroom light off, not a thing out of place, pristine even—but your eyes track toward the bathroom light seeping underneath the gap in the door. With careful, measured movements you approach the door although you haven’t thought through the actual process of what you wanted to do.
But, before you can react the door is swinging open as the bathroom is plunged into darkness, revealing a sopping wet Lucien, towel tied tight around his waist as he slings a smaller one over his shoulders, completely relaxed until he spots you.
Both of you scream—you out of anger and fear, Lucien at the incoming hand that he snatches by the wrist, your eyes landing on each other, your nostrils flaring in frustration.
“You’re insane!” Lucien shouts, shoving your hand away, “You nearly tore my face off.”
“I thought you were an intruder,” You seethe, “—what kind of maniac showers with the front door unlocked while home alone?”
“You said you had a bat,” Lucien excuses, “I could have defended myself.”
You sigh, plucking the keys from your grip before you toss them on your bed, stepping away from Lucien and away from the radiating heat of his body as it glistened, obnoxiously.
“Get out,” You snap, “get out—go—”
“I was just gonna…grab my clothes and come change in,” He weakly gestures toward the bathroom, earning a sharp look of distaste in his direction, “alright—alright, Jesus.”
He pauses for a moment, though. Before the lightbulb clicks on and he’s scrambling into the living room and back in record time, shoving a small white envelope into your hands.
“What is this?” You ask tensely, blindly ripping at the seal as you stare at him.
“It’s uh—what I owe you, for the coffee thing. I…I remember now. Figured I could pay you for the work I made you miss…is that about right?”
You peer at the wad of cash. It was indeed, enough.
“You’re unbelievable,” You reply, shaking your head.
It gives him false hope, wondering if it was all going to be brushed under the rug and that he could continue the rest of his stay in a somewhat semblance of peace, but then your expression flips and oh…that’s not…
“Are you physically incapable of saying the words “I’m sorry”—would it kill you? Allergic to accountability? God, you know what, I’m gonna call James and tell him I just can’t do—”
“No,” Lucien panics, hand around your bicep as you attempt to push past him, immediately recognizing the fierceness of his grip he loosens it, calms himself, “no—please, listen…I…I didn’t think you’d care enough to hear it. I do remember now and I was a dick, I was trying to offer a gesture of good faith. Peace, even?”
“Is this even your money?” You ask curiously, brow furrowed as you help up the envelope.
“Yeah, yeah—I pulled it out of my savings. Why? Do you…not want it?”
You quickly snatch the envelope away, “No, I’ll take it. But, words mean a lot. Like calling me an ignorant little bitch.”
“Okay, okay. I am sorry. I had a lot going on and I know that isn’t an excuse either, but I am.”
You tilt your head in examination, peering through the raw emotion on his face, whether he was putting on a masterclass in acting or not, it was believable enough. You could remain bitter, even if it meant suffering in silence, but you liked the peace just as much as he, so you compromise.
“You still have to get out,” You inform him, walking your fingers tauntingly toward the door, “and I swear, Lucien, if you used all the hot water—”
-
Lucien was insistent about rehearsing at least five hours a day, even on weekends. Luckily, most of those days you were spared, but when you’re barricaded away in your bedroom, sound travels. And Lucien doesn't care much to stifle his performance, maybe it was a weapon to backfire at your inconsiderate neighbors, but it was driving you insane.
He’s stuck on one scene, clearly a building tension that explodes and apparently he can’t nail, having heard the lines a hundred times over through the muffled walls—your first instinct was to complain, tell him take it elsewhere, but you remember your deal with James. Lucien just needed a place to stay for a while and this was his job.
Eventually, you poke your head through your bedroom door with a cautious expression, watching Lucien examine his face in the mirror, filing through various emotions before he finally gives up, tossing the script against the counter.
He spots you as he turns, already gearing up to apologize or maybe even excuse—but instead, you speak.
“Is it for an audition?”
“How’d you know?”
“The yelling, the emotion—I guess? I help on set with self tapes from time to time. I’ve learned to spot the difference between just memorizing lines and trying to feel the script.”
Lucien pushes his lips out in thought, tongue rolling over his teeth as his hands settle against his hips, pushing the sweatpants lower on his hips as he stands, deliberating.
“Just ask,” You tell him.
“You any good?”
It was a genuine question, not meant to attack your own ego. Besides, it makes you laugh.
“I’ll get your good side,” You promise him, surfacing from your room as you beckon for his phone with your hand, getting straight to work.
It only takes a few minutes to find a solid place to set up, against one of your cream colored walls, pictureless and plain, but with ample lighting from inside and out, it highlighted the wispy grays in Lucien’s untamed curls hanging over his forehead, the wrinkles creasing there as he looked down at the script and examined the text.
“Do you have them memorized?”
Lucien nods absently, his finger trailing down the side of the paper until it was suddenly gone, snatched from his hands with a smile on your face as you pointed for him to slide into frame. You take a step back, watching the screen with a careful eye before motioning with a finger for him to move a few centimeters to the left, “There. Perfect.”
You flatten out the creased paper as you speak, “From the top?”
Lucien smiles halfheartedly—the stress washing from his face for a moment—and nods.
–
You could keep up, that much was obvious.
Lucien is used to the monotone voice on the other side of the camera during auditions, forced tones and half-cocked emotion, it was hard to act against and with, but he’s learned to push through for the sake of a role.
It was an emotional scene, almost a requirement to have that intensity to act against and Lucien caught your eye line at one point, face buried in the script as you uttered the lines with teary eyes, letting your own emotion fill you to the brim and flow out, giving him a real and authentic reaction to act against.
He watched it back with a grin, mostly out of his own cocky admiration for himself but the secret you’ve been hoarding, a welcome surprise.
“Have you never considered acting?” Lucien asks curiously, emailing the video off to his agent.
“Cameras are daunting,” You shrug, folding and filing away some freshly washed towels as Lucien reclined on your couch, “I prefer being behind them.”
“You’re a natural,” He offers honestly, “that’s really rare.”
You shake your head in amusement as you riffled through the unfolded laundry, separating in different piles until you come across a no longer white blouse, stained a soft pink—and of course, Lucien. It was Lucien who offered to take laundry down the night prior, needing a moment away from being cooped up in the apartment, swearing he had it under control.
“I told you not to put this in the wash load with the colors! Look at this—” You held up the obviously stained blouse, crumpling up the fabric and tossing it to the couch with a frustrated huff.
“To be fair, it’s been years since I did my own laundry,” Lucien responds casually, “—don’t worry, I’ll have James buy you another.”
Your face twitches, actually twitches.
“No, no—it…it’s fine. It’s only a shirt,” You tuck a loose hair behind your ear as you heave the towels into your arm, “just—whites and colors, always separate them.”
And while living with Lucien had mellowed out some, it was still tumultuous at times.
Fighting over the bathroom was a regular occurrence, both of you guilty. But, that could be worked through, it wasn’t the end of the world. Occasionally it was the lights, a bad habit of Lucien’s to leave them lingering in his wait, lamps and fixtures, nothing was safe. Opened cabinets, items forgotten and out of place. It was all tedious and frustrating, picking and choosing your battles as they came, brushing far too much under the rub for the sake of peace.
You knew it was almost over, enjoying a quiet night to yourself while Lucien was apparently out at dinner—you weren’t sure, you didn’t really care, but you enjoyed the glimpse of what was to return to you, tucked away on the couch while half-dressed, hand stuffed into a freshly popped bowl of popcorn.
It was Friday and your neighbors never failed to come home from a rowdy night of partying with everything but sleeping on their mind, getting straight to business and your grab for the remote was immediate, turning up the volume to drown out the obnoxious moans and groans of drunk sex happening on the other side of the wall.
Lucien arrives back somewhere near the middle of the movie, the soft laughs from you pulling his attention to the couch as he clocked the nineties rom-com on the television, your cheek resting against your balled up fist, placing his wallet against the counter to signal his entrance.
“Loud enough for you?” Lucien jokes, approaching the singular piece of furniture in your living room, fingertips pressing against the arm of the couch as he takes in your appearance, shirt barely reaching beyond mid-thigh, thick socks keeping you warm as you curled in on yourself, careless that Lucien was definitely looking you make a noise in question, the words processing in a delayed manner.
You reach for the remote, pausing the movie briefly to reveal the reason; the insistent thump of wood against cheap sheetrock and moans, squealy and high-pitched, forcing a raised eyebrow from Lucien that needed no words.
“Nevermind,” He concedes,hands thrown up in defeat with a chuckle hidden behind his teeth, walking closer to examine the screen, filing through his internal rolodex of films and drawing a blank.
“Are you going to keep standing there like a total weirdo or are you going to watch the movie?” You ask with a joking tone, tucking your feet underneath you as you made room, glancing down at your phone as a notification brought the screen to life.
Lucien catches the faint tug of a smile on your face as you type away, clicking the phone into sleep mode a few moments later before continuing the movie without a word.
You’re not sure which one of you succumbs to sleep first, but it didn’t matter, finding that you both aligned together easily as you slept, covered with a blanket that Lucien must have snatched somewhere near without disturbing you—and when you wake in the middle of the night, complex quiet throughout, you can’t even find it in you to move.
–
Lucien’s length of stay was diminishing quickly and you were relieved, only a few more days and things would be back to normal, you’d be three thousand dollars richer, and you wouldn’t have to confront the fact that Lucien wasn’t entirely as bad as he seemed, temper aside.
You’re both on your way out the door on a weekday morning when you spot him, navy blue hoodie draping his body, one you favored because of its size and comfortability.
“That’s mine,” You utter as you’re fisting your keys into your hand and tucking a makeup applicator away in your bag, “that’s…mine—why is it on your body?”
Lucien looks down, perplexed. He could’ve swore…
“It’s mine, I swear,” You’re peering over his shoulder and pulling at the collar, examining the tag by his neck, or lack thereof—you always cut them out, hated the feeling against your skin.
“It’s mine,” You say with finality, “But, it’s fine. I’ve been meaning to replace it anyways. And now that you’ve worn it, definitely.”
“Ouch,” Lucien chuckles, shaking his head at your bluntness, “I guess I deserve that. I did think it was mine, though. Swear. Must’ve gotten mixed up somehow.”
“Oh, well, just burn it now—oh, shit, before I forget,” You point your finger at his chest, stopping him in his tracks, “I’ve got a date tonight. I’ll more than likely be gone when you get back here. I’m leaving a key under the mat, you know the deal. Respect it…protect it like you give a shit if anything happens, it’s all I have.”
“Date?” Lucien teases, “Sounds—”
“We’re not doing this,” You cut him short, finger raising higher in reprimand, “don’t do that.”
Again, Lucien values his well-being, so he admits defeat.
It was difficult for him, his eagerness to please and charm, to command the conversation and impress—but with you, it was impossible. Truly, it was mesmerizing to him.
It was several hours later when Lucien arrived at the apartment, pointedly locking the door behind him as you had reminded him several times—he wasn’t completely aloof.
His orders takeout on a whim, disguised under a fake name and the careful directions to leave at the door, having practiced the art of subtly when it came to laying low, enjoying a couple beers from a pack James had bought him as a small celebration for a week of good, decent meetings.
Things had been looking up recently and it made Lucien unsettled in a way, but thankful nonetheless, sipping at the beer generously and relaxing well into the night, dusk turning to black skies and few twinkling star lights, drowned out by the thick smog of city pollution. It started raining eventually, a soft pattern picking up gradually and he, for natural reasoning, is slightly concerned. So, he stays up despite some lingering exhaustion, barely hitting a quarter beyond eight o’clock when the door handle rattles, soft curses on the other side of the door that send him to his feet, peering through the peephole to spot a sufficiently blurry outline of you.
And what he opens the door to is not what he’s expecting, although, he wasn’t even sure what he was expecting in the first place, but this…it wasn’t it.
You were wet, clothes dripping and rain water pooling at your feet, everything sticking to you like an uncomfortable glue, cold and shivering, your bottom lip trembling.
Without thinking, Lucien shifts into action.
He doesn’t ask a single question, not at first. Silently pulling the items off of you as you allow him; keys and purse first, clanging against the counter before he’s pulling your coat of, blouse, even kneeling down to remove your shoes before he’s carrying the clothes to the bathroom with you in tow, turning on the shower until it was steaming up the mirrors, heat radiating through the room as you pulled at the button of your jeans weakly, fumbling with cold and feeble hands.
He holds his hands up, careful not to approach in a way that would startle you or force you into attack mode, which seemed unlikely with the disheartened look on your face and he asks quietly, “Do you need help?”
You’re quiet for a long, tense moment before you nod, trying to quell the full body shivers as he assists you in stripping down to your underwear, also soaked. He pulls the curtain back and helps you over the side of the tub with the solid weight of his hand and speaks again despite your silence, “I’ll wait in your room—do you need anything?”
It doesn’t take a genius to piece things together as Lucien settles against the edge of the bed and it angers him for some forlorn reason, a feeling he hasn’t experienced in a long time. When the shower cuts off, he straightens, hesitates—should he leave?
You’d want privacy, right? Yeah. No, definitely.
He rises to his feet without another thought, his awful timing sending you straight into his chest as you swung the door open, towel snug around your body and smelling sharply of fresh, citrus body wash.
“S-sorry,” You stammer out, “you don’t—you don’t have to wait around, Lucien. Or give a shit, either. I don’t expect you to and I don’t care—”
It was unusually cold. He’s become familiar with your snark, that sharp and cunning personality, but this was different. This was a push, a defense of hard and impenetrable walls building up before his eyes and he speaks without thinking, hoping that it slips through the cracks.
“Regardless, I’ll listen,” Lucien provides—it wasn’t an overwhelming expression of fake, forced care or, god forbid, love. But, it was a raw enough response that it grabs your attention, “—if you want me to.”
—
He cranked up the heat while you dressed, flipped open his leftover takeout, and listened. You weren’t used to this and for a while, you were half-expecting him to find a way to turn the situation on himself, a sob story for a sob story. But, he doesn’t.
“This sushi…” You savor the taste, eyes falling closed.
“Good, isn’t it?” Lucien smirks, popping another into his mouth with careful precision, chopsticks in hand.
You could cry, it was such a strong and startling feeling that it caught you off-guard, “Yeah, really good.”
You clear your throat, tears shoved aside, “Have you ever ditched a date before?”
Lucien shakes his head with a subtle frown.
“Right, Lucien De Leon,” You respond jokingly, that magical emphasis around his name, “any woman would be dying for all of….this,” You gesture to him lazily with a faux disgust that couldn’t even be forced, both of you divulging into a laugh.
“Hey, you said it,” Lucien shrugs with a pointed wink that you shouldn’t find so attractive, but the natural charm he emits makes it impossible, “—but, no. Can’t say I have.”
“Even the ones who wouldn’t put out?”
“At the risk of sounding like an asshole—“ Lucien begins, but you follow the rhythm of the conversation and it isn’t long before the lightbulb strikes on and you’re nodding.
“Right, you probably don’t have an issue in that department. Stupid question, sorry.”
You pluck the last piece of sushi off the styrofoam and chew, speaking behind your hand, “I should’ve known that dude was a prick, only stared at my tits the entire date.”
Out of reflex, his eyes drag to your chest and you click the movement in an instant, “Not helping,” You warn him lightly, “I guess I was too blunt, he kept…touching me. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable going back to his place, he made some excuse to go to the bathroom and I waited for a half hour. Until the server came by with the bill—so, not only did he ditch me, I paid a hundred dollar tab and I didn’t even eat my food.”
Even in Lucien’s wild days, he couldn’t imagine doing that. Not when he was drinking more heavily, partying, hooking up on a daily basis—before his first failed marriage, it was foreign to him.
“You could’ve called me, or James, shit—an uber.”
“Phone died,” You shrug lamely, “it doesn’t matter, anyways. And don’t get me wrong, casual sex—it’s fine, but I got too hopeful, I guess. All men are the same.”
“Come on,” Lucien jests, “that’s not fair.”
“Fine, enlighten me, then.”
“You can’t expect fairytale shit—I mean, I’m one failed marriage and plenty of missteps in my life. Do you think I’m a bad guy?”
“Do you want me to answer that honestly?”
Lucien sighs in defeat, scratching at his mused hair as he tosses the empty food container aside.
“I’m fucking with you,” You offer in a quieter tone—even if you weren’t friends with him, he didn’t have to put in the effort to help or listen, but he was, “I’m—just, thank you.”
“I’m in good graces now?” Lucien asks curiously, that playful mischief gracing his face with a smile.
You make a motion with your hand from your head as you grab, like pulling a thought and throwing it away, “Coffee incident? Forgotten—unless you pull some heinous shit.”
“You know, I might actually miss this,” His finger does a swirling motion, encompassing your living room, “you—eh,” a shaky hand motion that earns a jab to his thigh from your foot, “shit, ouch—that was a joke.”
“I know,” You concede with a smirk, “—I won’t, though. I want my couch back. And my bathroom.”
“If it makes you feel better, I think you’re a catch,” He tells you, “although, I do like the ones that bite, so—“
You reach forward this time, swatting playful at his chest with the back of your hand, but his fast reflexes beat you, your fingers smacking into solid rings.
He snickers softly and examines the grimace on your face as you pull back, “Pobrecita,” He coos mockingly, reaching for your hand and pressing a gentle kiss against the skin, “see what I mean?”
You ignore the heat that strikes through your body like a freshly lit match, pulling your hand away with a distinct eye roll.
He’d be gone soon and this would all be a ridiculous memory to think back on.
There was no room for newly evolving feelings, or worse, infatuation.
—
The three months you spend falling back into your normal routine is monotonous, safe, but the kind of security that has you itching for change. You find yourself checking on Lucien more often than you should, regular social media checks, the occasional subtle question to James when you happened to catch him on set. It wasn’t healthy, but you couldn’t help yourself.
He did seem more erratic, often coming across other quick clips and social media stories of him at the club during waking hours, pure reckless abandon, he was having the time of his life—you couldn’t blame him, but it was…slightly alarming.
It was a Saturday night when all hell broke loose, police sirens raining down the street as you raced to your open window, peering down at the obscured face of a man in cuffs as he was roughly shoved into a police car before there’s a pounding knock at the door, your heart nearly bursting out of your chest at the sound.
Turning on your heels and swinging the door open, you can’t help but find yourself speechless at the sight.
“Think they caught your burglar,” Lucien notes under his baseball cap, eyes catching the cascading red and blue lights outside your window, duffel bag at his feet and a regretful look on James’ face.
You tilt your head at the discovery, your brain working overtime before your eyes widen.
“Just hear him out,” He pleads with prayer like hands, phone sandwiched between two begging palms, “Lucien—go,”
Lucien seems to stutter-step in his mind, not expecting to be the one leading this proposition as he side-eyes James, “I…need a place to stay…again,” Lucien squints his eyes and stares up at the ceiling, looking almost embarrassed, “for the next six months.”
“No,” You nearly shout out incredulously, “the first time wasn’t a trial run.”
There’s a long moment of tense eye contact and uncertainty.
An underlying worry in your gut at the sight of Lucien, a little worse for wear but still mostly himself, gripping tightly at his carry-on bag in his hand, thumb rubbing nervously at the leather strap.
Goddammit.
–
He’s paying the entire six months of rent he planned on staying there while he filmed for a movie they were shooting a short ten minute drive from your complex, a quaint little studio gracious enough to let the crew film free of charge—he’d given you the whole spiel, in one ear and out the other still wondering how you’ve tangled yourself in this web again.
“Can I just ask you one thing?” You inquire, helping him file away some of his clothes in a drawer you had emptied out for him like this was normal. He makes a soft noise of acknowledgment with his lips pursed together, tired sunken eyes staring back at you, “Why not get your own apartment? A house? I mean, you’ve got the money?”
Lucien clears his throat, scratching at his neck where it jostles his chains, fingers slipping under the silk fabric of his shirt, “I, uh—feel weird…livingalone,” He rushes out, quickly turning to grab more clothes as you stand, hand placed against the top of your dresser as your brow furrows, feeling like you’d just fallen deaf.
“Come again?”
A small huff as Lucien passes a stack of expensive shirts, material that had to be ethically sourced or…some bullshit like that, he’s told you the story before in passing.
“I don’t like living alone, ‘s why I float,” He offers lamely, tossing the empty duffel into the corner of your room—you’d pick it up later, it didn’t matter, “I left all my old stuff to my ex-wife, it was easier that way.”
Often you had to remind yourself that Lucien was older, nearing his late forties while you were still managing through your late twenties, a big thirty on the horizon.
It dawns on you then that you don’t know much about Lucien at all outside of tabloids and gossip sites, the rumor mills running through Hollywood—you often find yourself reminding you of the fact he was still a person, with troubles, clearer now more than ever.
“It wasn’t always like this,” He assures you, “I’m a fuckin’ mess, I already know.”
“I think we’re beyond judgment, Lucien,” You assure him, “You saw me sobbing and nearly naked—just keep this place clean, like you give a shit about it, alright?”
Lucien nods dutifully, “Yes, ma’am.”
–
You learn quickly that his long term stay meant that little quirks were beginning to surface—always organizing your things out on the sink opposite of his own, a small gesture that didn’t go unnoticed when you were rushing out the door on days he wasn’t given a call time. Or how he always made sure there was food waiting when he arrived before you—takeout or not. He wasn’t a great cook, but he could manage.
In turn, you tried to cook more often. And he loved to hover, but not with a homey, warm feeling that made you feel safe, rather like a curious dog nipping at your ankles. And more so, he would finish his own plate before looking cautiously at your own before you nod, allowing him to pick from your plate with a greediness that made you giggle under your breath.
“My ex-wife never cooked,” He had told you once, “I mean, she tried—but she was terrible. And this,” His tongue pokes at the inside of his cheek as he steps at the homemade ravioli, “is there anything you can’t do?”
“Say no, apparently,” You gave him a solid once-over, a look from head to toe—he’s never offended anymore, taking the playful jest in stride, it had already been a month and it was beginning to feel like normal, again, having him there.
Your conflicting schedules meant a lot of time away from each other, which wasn’t bad. It almost helped more than you expected and while your apartment wasn’t well-fit for a roommate, Lucien made the place feel less empty.
You couldn’t say it out loud, but you were starting to understand the charm. You could see beyond the facade and the persona—a troubled man with ambition, purpose, but a mountain of struggles. The drinking wasn’t a surprise, nor his uptick in smoking. He always smoked out the window so the smell wouldn’t permeate, but the drinking started to become…an issue.
It wasn’t that Lucien couldn’t handle himself when he drank, but he often did it to fill the dead time—so he said—when you were still at work, fighting with his own demons in his mind. He always ended up on your bed those nights, curled up in a fetal position at the wrong end and you couldn’t find it in yourself to move him, draping a blanket over him before you decided to spend the night on the couch. It was a weekly occurrence after a while, slowly growing in frequency.
He always apologizes, tells you he won’t do it again, but eventually you find yourself melding around him, sleeping in a way that keeps you comfortable and doesn’t disturb him. You don’t judge him, don’t think any lower of him—but there was concern and Lucien could see it growing with every passing conversation as the weeks dragged along.
By the third month, the dam breaks.
You don’t sugarcoat anything for him either.
“Do you need rehab?” You ask bluntly, watching him peel the gold-flaked under eye patches from his face, shoulder leaned against the doorframe, “Or, like, therapy?”
“I’m not an alcoholic,” He defends, washing his hands under the warm water, “I can get sober if I wanna, but it helps with the stress, you know?”
“No,” You respond honestly, but softly, “I don’t. Unless this is just some big excuse for you to sleep in my bed, which if it is—”
Lucien chuckles, toweling his hands dry, “You caught me.”
“You would tell me if it was getting bad, wouldn’t you?”
It seemed like the least he could do, considering how greatly you were carrying the burden for him by allowing him to stay in the comfort of your own home, treating him like a human. You ignored the tabloids anymore, always negative and nefarious toward him, like he wasn’t allowed to make a few mistakes along the way. He had to be perfect, given his troubling start in the industry. DUIs, cheating, eventually settling down to marry but that didn’t work out great for him either—you’d done some research lately, out of pure curiosity to understand what he wasn’t always willing to share, but you preferred to hear it from him.
Lucien squeezes at your chin in a comforting manner that makes you grimace in feigned disgust, forcing a gentle laugh through your nose as he answers, “Yes, I would.”
–
When he should, he doesn’t.
Award season was approaching and work was hectic, Lucien had wrapped on his next project and his previous one was gearing for a big release and line of promos, which meant Lucien had to be on his game.
The lamp in your living was broken, a shattered glass bottle on the floor beside it, a trail of clothes following to your room and a heat in the apartment that was sweltering in a way that had you stripping down immediately to the thinnest layer you could manage without getting to your underwear, jeans and a thin strapped top as you walked barefoot toward your room.
You weren’t sure what you were expecting or hoping for, but it isn’t this.
He’s naked, completely bare, save for the blanket draping his groin to save his modesty, out cold but skin obviously clammy, reeking of alcohol and sweat and you can’t help scrambling to the floor, unable to form any type of tangible sound. You check for a pulse, fearing that you might have just found yourself in an inescapable scandal, but it was there. That soft thump, thump, thump under your fingertips before you press the back of your hand to his skin and despite the sweat, he’s cold. He must have sweat out most of the alcohol in his system, your eyes dragging to the forgotten bottle on the ground.
You sigh, eyes falling closed as you gather your thoughts. You devise a plan, slow and methodical—first was to clean, grabbing the clothes and broken glass from the ground, leaving no trace of his mayhew before you’re returning to your room and straight for the bathroom, immediately turning on the cold water, the stream forceful as it pushed through the showerhead.
“Fuck,” You curse to yourself as you glance at Lucien who is mostly dead-weight, struggling to understand how you can get him from one point to another—with another quiet huff you approach him, shifting until you can get your arms under his armpits and heave him up, blanket falling from his waist as you yelp, eyes shooting toward the ceiling as you continue to drag his slumped body toward the tub, “okay—god, Lucien, you fucking owe me.”
It takes some maneuvering and the unbelievability that you are so incredibly close to his bare ass and dick in a way that most would fall over backwards for, regardless of the situation—it felt wrong, seeing him in such a manner and so completely helpless, but you shove the thought aside as you finally get him in the tub, the cold water waking him almost immediately.
It starts with a gasp, a sharp tug of the curtain and coarse, “Shit,” that assures you he was alive and well, coherent, even. A small smile tugs at your lips as you hear him let out a string of curses before he finally settles.
“There’s a bottle of water and some Advil on the counter—take it,” You instruct behind the curtain, “I’m going to grab dinner—try not to hurt yourself, please.”
He doesn’t acknowledge you, not that you expected it. And it doesn’t take long to grab the food either, calling it in and driving there and back in about twenty minutes, finding Lucien freshly showered and sitting on the stool near the counter, eyes telling a story of exhaustion but his insistently bouncing leg telling another.
“Chicken or steak?” You ask nonchalantly, holding the styrofoam containers in both hands.
He takes a moment to answer, unsettled by your calmness, “...steak.”
You hand it over without a question, grabbing a couple drinks before you’re digging in, standing opposite of him rather than sitting, eating in a silence that grows, thickens.
“It’s quiet,” You note the obvious before you scroll through your phone, searching for a soft tune to play through your speakers, something to fill the air, “better—how’s the food?”
“I like it,” Lucien responds with a full mouth, somehow endearing as he swallows and sips at the second water you offered him, attempting to help keep him hydrated, even if it was still annoyingly hot in your apartment, “—I…I think I broke your AC.”
“You did. I’ll put in a work order for it to get fixed,” You answer, a solution to the problem, “are you okay?”
If Lucien was being honest with himself, he can’t remember the last time anyone has asked him that—not genuinely, anyways. He falls silently, biting at his bottom lip in deep thought as his eyes squint, poking quietly at his food.
Talking was hard, you understood that. But, you hoped there was some trust built between you in the past few months, that you hadn’t laid your vulnerabilities out bare the night you came home rain soaked without the ability for him to share too. Plus, he’d broken your favorite lamp.
“It’s complicated,” Lucien diverts, but that doesn’t stop you, eyes lying in wait as you laid your utensil down to listen, “—I’ve got two kids. One, he’s eighteen…awesome, awesome kid. His name is Raynor. I didn’t meet him until a few years back, I’ve been tryin’ take make up for that. We even went on a roadtrip a couple summers back.”
Lucien fiddles with the cap on the water bottle idly, speaking further, “I, the other, my daughter, she’s a couple years old—it was a crazy night with a co-star,” You clock the information immediately, knowing who he was talking about without the confession, and he knew too—it wasn’t exactly a well kept secret in Hollywood as Delia was now married, to another co-star, raising that child, “a long story for another time, but we’re going through this nasty court battle.”
It would explain his financial situation a little, his willingness to take roles as he could, but the growing stress on his face as weeks passed, the tendency to hide or ignore the situation rather than face it—you understood, to a degree.
“So, all the drinking? The transiency?”
“It just helps,” He shrugs—helps him forget, temporarily, before it all comes barreling back at him, “she wants to revoke shared custody—she’s got her more anyways, with my work and everything, but she wants to deem me unfit, make it—” Lucien’s throat tightens, exactly why he wanted to avoid this conversation entirely, “she wants to erase me and the moment the press gets wind—”
All hell would break loose.
“Lucien, I don’t think it works that way,” You assure him, even if your knowledge was slim, “there’s…that's your right, she’s your child.”
“Given my history, the judge could consider it,” Lucien replies lackluster, ashamed, “look—I’m sorry to dump this shit on you, I fucked up your apartment, I can find another place to stay and I’ll pay out the rest of the rent like I promised.”
You look at him with a gentle expression, tilting your head until his eyes finally rise, “I asked,” You remind him, “and I hated that lamp anyways, so you did me a favor,” It was a lie, but given his emotional state it was acceptable, watching as he forced a weak laugh, “I’m not kicking you out either, if the media publishes anything about it, you hunker down here. I can deal with a few paps, you know? We do work in the same industry, after all. I may not understand the full scope but I do understand, Lucien.”
He returns a look with sad, red-rimmed eyes as you reach to clean up your shared dinner, before approaching him with a careful few steps, a hand gliding over his bicep and your fingers rubbing at the small dip in the back of neck, your first real initiation of genuine touch. He was a touchy person himself and seemed at ease by the feeling, your lips coming to press a soft kiss against his cheek. Kind, friendly, you pat at his back.
Something changes between that touch and the look he gives you as he turns, eyes flicking toward your lips out of desire, silently he pushes logic aside and leans forward, pulling your chin into his hand like he has before, a familiar touch followed by a foreign one, plush lips against your own that has you swimming in a mix of emotions, eyes falling shut briefly before you realize what was happening, lips parting slightly as the tip of his tongue touches your own before you’re ripping away, eyes wide.
“Oh my god,” You utter out, wishing the words had stayed inside of your head, “I, uh–I’m—”
You stutter relentlessly before you’re scrambling toward your room, door falling shut with a soft click as you sink into your sheets, heart racing uncontrollably and your hands covering your face, unable to face what you had just escaped from as a knock comes a few minutes later on your bedroom door.
You couldn’t face him. You couldn’t.
Eventually, he leaves. Slow footsteps that eventually lead toward another door that closes too, unsure of where he was wandering off to, but you couldn’t think about that, not with the conflicting, battling emotions in your head and chest, a startling yearning coming from just a simple touch.
He was everything you despised—somehow finding level ground, adoring him, caring about him, it was never supposed to go this far. He started as an inconvenience, a disruption to your life…and now, you weren’t sure you could imagine it without him there, in some form.
It takes a couple hours, already deep into your slumber, but the dip of weight in your bed startles you for a moment before the movements stop, the strong press of a back against yours, and an unspoken security that pulls you both under quickly.
He’d gone out drinking again, but at this point, you couldn’t blame him.
–
He awakes to a sweet smell, distinct and fresh. And air, cool air. It can’t be dawn, the sun is too far in the sky to be early morning. Lucien rises with a heavy grogginess, rubbing at his eyes as he finds his footing and walks toward the living room of your apartment, finding your back turned to him as you fiddled with the buttons on your AC as you bid someone goodbye, a man carrying a toolbox descending toward the hallway.
He gears up for an apology, the words balancing on the tip of his tongue.
Suddenly, you’re in front of him, two filled mugs in hand, coffee just the way he liked.
And Lucien doesn’t know when or why the feeling overtakes him, but he kisses you again. It isn’t a simple peck. It was full, all-consuming, feet lifting off the ground type of kiss.
No, literally—you rise to your tiptoes as the cups jostle in your grip as two large, warm hands curl around your back and his lips melt against your own, earning a starling gasp that slips through slightly parted lips, followed by his name after a moment too long.
“Coffee, coffee,” You mumbled quickly, “hot—burning, my toes,” Lucien pulled away quickly at the words, watching as the tan liquid pooled at your feet before he rushed to clean up the mess.
You watch with an amused expression before you finally hand the cup of coffee over, “Good morning to you too, I guess,” You smirk, biting down on your cheek to stifle the laugh that was fighting it’s way out, “please don’t tell me you’re still drunk.”
“I need to apologize,” Lucien tells you, “...again—I’m—I’m sorry for kissing you—again, like that, assuming that was something you wanted. I got pulled into the moment—”
You’ve had all night and morning to think it over, mulling over the emotions and feelings, still not quite sure, but you couldn’t help the swirling feeling of nervousness that had grown more frequent in Lucien’s presence, his looks, his flirtatious nature and touches. You were under his spell completely.
And if you didn’t want to kiss him, you would have stopped him.
Besides, you didn’t want to be the bearer of more bad news after his terrible night, having been let go from your job position that morning, no notice—you were still reeling, but didn’t want to burden Lucien with the news.
You needed something else to occupy your mind.
“Drink,” You instruct, taking a seat on the couch as you sip at your coffee in silence, watching as Lucien mirrored your actions and sat at the opposite end, legs out-stretched and his chest on display, tanned skin with neatly trimmed chest hair, soft tummy leading into the charcoaled, stretchy lounge pants leaving little to imagination as he fidgeted in his seat.
“Where’d you go last night?”
Lucien’s face immediately flushes with guilt, “The—a bar. I didn’t drink. I swear, I—”
He makes a small noise of frustration and closes his eyes, “I did something stupid, I needed a distraction, alright? I shouldn’t have kissed you, that’s not what you wanted, I know that.”
With a silent reservation, you press the coffee cup into the table in front of you before slowly make your way toward him on your knees before you pluck the half-empty mug from his grip and return it to a similar spot, feeling a surge of bravery as you climb onto his lap—there’s some underlying stupidity there, you think. But, fuck it.
“You don’t know what I want,” You assure him, fingers dragging along the top of his head before you’re tugging at the stands to tilt his head back, kissing him soundly, sweet dark roast on your shared breaths as you lick into his mouth, the opposite hand pressed flat against his bare chest. It takes a while, but eventually his brain catches up, along with his movements, and his hands curl around your bare thighs, fingertips grazing the silk shorts you wore to bed the night prior, like butter against your soft skin as his fingers climb and dig, pressing into your skin as you continue to discover every inch of him he had to offer—mouth, tongue, neck, chest.
It was a dormant hunger that had awoken after careful thought and pure primal need, tired of waiting things out for perfection when you had something tangible in front of you.
He’s mumbling your name softly as you lean into him, the bottom of your lip dragging against the tip of his nose as he pulls you away, strong hands encompassing your face as he looks at you, searching your glazed over eyes, “What are you doing?” He asks, apparent concern.
“Distracting you,” You tell him, immediately diving back in to kiss him, nipping at his chin playfully, a shaking sigh falling from his lips, “are you distracted?”
He chuckles weakly, “What happened to me being a cocky, egotistical, little dicked man?”
“I can go back to hating you if you want,” You respond, nipping at his ear before you pull back to look at him, so close you can feel his breath against your lips, “If you’re into that sorta thing.”
He could see in your eyes that you needed this too, a way to shut your brain off for a while, months of failed dates you’ve told him all about, in detail, he can’t help but chuckle at your eagerness, stifling a groan as you core grinds against him, cock stiffening with the movement.
“Maybe,” He’s undecided, “we’ll see how this goes.”
You smile wide, feeling a surge of pride as he returns the kiss more fully, a hand twisting around the back of your neck as he kisses you fully, all wet and uncoordinated but it makes your heart flutter in excitement.
“Let me taste you,” He begs, clawing at your top in an attempt to get his hands on your skin, pushing up the fabric as you follow his movements, top off, stripping your shorts down along with your underwear, an eager Lucien gripping at your hips to maneuver you down into the cushion as he hastily shoves the table away with his feet to make room for him on the floor, no reprieve as he hooks your legs over his shoulder and splits his tongue through your folds, licking up the center.
A man of his word, he tastes. Noisily he licks and prods, tongue dipping inside of along with wandering fingers, sucking gently at your clit until you’re yanking at his hair, hand curling over the back of his scalp, fingernails digging into the top of his back, moans spilling from your lips like a flowing river, the rapids rushing through, walls clenching around nothing but cool air as Lucien parts from you, admires.
He’s got two hands on your thighs to keep you open, “Wider,” He coaxes, your breath quickening as he squeezes at your thighs, “right there, don’t move.”
He shoves his pants down his hips, the heel of his palm rubbing down his shaft as he wraps his fingers around his cock, jerking himself off at the sight of you, glistening and eager, your fingers digging into the cushion fabric—you’ve seen him before, naked, in starkly different context.
But, he had nothing to be ashamed of, your eyes counting the faint splattering of freckles on his chest as his hand glides over his cock, tugs, thumb sliding over the tip to spread the precum down his shaft and you don’t hear him calling your name until his hand touches your skin, gliding over your knee as he taps, coming to with a weak, “Huh?”
Lucien laughs under his breath before he’s beckoning you closer, pushing up with your palms as he cups his hand under your chin and asks—no, demands, “Spit,” He tells you, following his order without missing a beat, the saliva dripping into his hands as you push it past your lips and he moves closer, knees settled on the plush rug in your living room, guiding you until your ass was nearly hanging off the couch and using your saliva to aid the tug of his cock.
“No condom,” You quickly interject, slightly out of breath. His mouth opens like he wants to respond but you quickly shush him, “we can avoid the spiel, I’m on the pill.”
Lucien shrugs with a cocked smile, “Just checking. You alright?”
You nod eagerly, dying for a reason to shut your mind off.
It was the perfect angle, his hips just level enough with your hips that he slid in with ease, adding his own string of spit into the mix as rubbed it down your cunt and pushed his cock inside—deeper, deeper, the head of his cock sliding against your folds teasingly as he rocks his hips until he’s fully flush inside of you.
Your anxious hands are taken hold by him, curling around his wrists instinctively before they’re being shoved over your head and against the back of the couch, his towering frame leaning over you as his hips piston you at a bruising pace, deep enough that it aches. It’s been long, so long and you feel pathetic for already wanting it so bad, core pulsating with an insatiable need.
His breath is hot, wet against your skin as his teeth graze against your breast, sucking the skin between his teeth as you gasp, “Louder,” Lucien coaxes, “let ‘em hear you. Think they deserve it after all they’ve put us through.”
You laugh at that, full-body and airy, eyes falling shut as Lucien plants a foot against the floor, changing up the angle to an intense degree, his cock slipping out briefly as he adjusts, catching glimpse of the string of shiny slick that connects you both before the thick head of his cock pushes back in, a soft squelch of admittance, a tell-tale sign of your obvious enjoyment.
If he knew this would shut you up, he would’ve tried seducing you months ago—though, he had a feeling the attempts would be futile, he was floating on his own cloud of disbelief that after all his wrong-doings, his missteps, it hadn’t pushed you away.
“Show me—huh, show me what you like,” Lucien pleads through baited breath, hair sticking to his forehead from the sheen of sweat, his own hands leaving yours with the silent promise that you wouldn’t move them, finding purchase underneath your thighs and pushing them up toward your chest, your fingers gripping around the back of the couch in desperation, “touch—touch yourself, show me.”
The drag of your hand is slow, but eventually your fingers hover over your cunt, pressing against your sensitive clit as you circle, slow and intentional movement that rips a loud moan from your chest matched with his pointed thrusts, feeling his stamina weaning as he watches, hips stuttering.
“You’re a fucking dream,” Lucien admires, “makin’ a damn mess, too. You hear that?”
He slows down on purpose, partially for his own benefit but he’s proving his point, that sticky squelch of arousal, his faint grunts mixed with your quickly rising moans.
“Does it make you nervous when I stare?” He asks curiously, eyes locked on your pussy, watching his cock split you open, gripping him and pulling him back in eagerly with every thrust, “Look at me—answer me, baby.”
There’s something so distinct in the way he says it, laced with an addictive drug.
Your eyes peel open, bleary behind near tears and you shake your head.
“Do you wish it did?” You counter, earning a subtle head shake from Lucien as he pulls out.
A moan of disappointment leaves your mouth before he’s quickly jostling your around, chest against the couch, his hand spreading wide over your back as he bends you over, fisting his cock as he feeds it back into your greedy cunt, the swollen head making you gasp as it pushes through your over-sensitive folds.
He uses the leverage as his hand climbs, gripping at your shoulder to pull you up, bracketing your body into the couch with a knee at your side, pressing you tight into his chest, his hand sliding around to your chin and turning your face to his, lips parting as he fucks you with a newfound ferocity, eyes rolling back so deep you aren’t expecting the fingers that find your clit, circling the senstive nerves until you’re tipping over the edge, soft encouraging words pulling you through your orgasm like a gentle wave, his fingers slowing down as you resurface.
He comes soon after, his hips stuttering out of pace again as you lean forward, feeling him pull out at the last possible moment before he’s painting thick strips of come against your lower back, the fingers of his left hand digging into your skin as he grabs you tight, the tip of his cock sliding against your ass.
You collapse with a content laugh, oblivious to Lucien searching frantically for something to clean you up before settling on one of the kitchen towels, your body slumped lazily against the couch and sighing when you feel his warm touch, the words slipping out on their own accord, “I got fired.”
“What?”
He tosses the dirty towel aside and passes over your clothes, pulling his own lounge pants back up his hips, sans underwear—and it makes you curious how often he does that normally, comfortable as he takes a seat, legs spread wide as he settles into the cushion.
“They called this morning,” You explain easily, pulling your top over your head and maneuvering your panties and shorts back on, “wouldn’t give me a reason, but it doesn’t matter.”
Lucien’s brow furrows in thought, rubbing his thumb against his fingertips out of habit.
“Is this one of those situations where you’re gonna ask if I’ll sign an NDA?” You half-joke.
He shakes his head almost immediately. He doesn’t seem to find it amusing, almost slightly concerned—or wounded?
“Come work for me,” He insists, “I’ve been needing an assistant.”
“Isn’t that a conflict of interest?” You ask him, staring at his flush chest and mused hair, evidence of rigorous sex all over his face, it was almost enough to have you confessing some unspoken feelings, but you weren’t that easily broken down.
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“Are you just trying to find a reason to stick around longer?” You tease him, a smile peeking out behind your tired expression, “Because it won’t work.”
“No—I’m serious about getting my shit together,” Lucien promises, “I might need a little help…but I want to.”
“Can I think about it?”
Lucien nods, hands dropping to his lap as he fiddles with a ring on his finger, eventually trailing toward the chains around his neck before his head is popping up, a quizzical look on his face.
“Wait—was that because you were having a bad morning?”
The sex, he means.
A smile breaks out on your face, “Nothing an orgasm won’t fix.”
He can sense it isn’t the full truth, but he doesn’t pry.
“Damn straight,” He chuckles, both of you falling into a comfortable silence.
–
Your answer doesn’t come for a solid week, thinking over the pros and cons. It was complicated, indeed bound to be messy if you allowed it, but Lucien was promising to double your pay, no undermining, no hovering—it seemed too good to be true.
But, you were taking the risk.
Lucien was still awaiting the imminent release of the court documents, the storm of press, but when you were secured in the safety of your apartment, hidden under the blankets as Lucien clung to you, head buried in your chest and his cock still buried inside of you, a slow and lazy day was what he needed, but he also craved you—and he was addicting, impossible to deny.
“We can’t keep doing this when I start working for you,” You remind him.
“Who says we can’t?” Lucien asks curiously, adjusting his hips as he slides deep inside of your cunt, peering up at you with soft eyes, “We keep it casual, if we decide we wanna stop. We stop. It won’t affect your job. I’m not that much of a dick, baby.”
“Well, for starters, you can’t call me baby at work.”
Lucien nods dutifully, listening to you divulge into a long lists of hardset rules, eventually pulling your focus back to him, his hips moving at a slow but gradual pace until you can’t focus any longer, giggling loudly as he buries his face into your neck, a sufficient end to the conversation.
The rest could be figured out later.
-
dividers: @/saradika-graphics
#lucien flores#lucien de leon#lucien flores x reader#lucien flores x you#lucien de leon x reader#lucien de leon x you#lucien flores smut#the uninvited#the uninvited fic#lucien de leon smut#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal#my writing
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As a bisexual woman from and living in Panamá, if someone proudly said out loud they’re an ally I would shed tears of happiness, considering that the default here is Not Being One. Actively someone reminding us we are loved and worth standing with even if technically Not Their Problem, opening themselves to criticism from most of the population, taking the risk, is such a sweet and impactful thing to do. We are few of the countries still not having equal marriage rights, and the piece of shit that our Monseñor is, having an iron fist grip in our politics, it won’t happen soon. So someone from outside the community actively saying they love us is such a beautiful show of love to us here.
When I do tutoring as a side gig with young boys and teenage guys, and they talk to me about stuff they see online, and repeat some mysoginistic bullshit they learnt online, I concerned but patiently ask them what they mean by that. When explaining it out loud I may answer with ‘that’s so mean why would anyone say that about a girl’ with a preoccupied face, and now seeing their favorite funny math teacher looking hurt makes them think ‘wait maybe this is kind of wrong and fucked up actually’. Before that moment, have they ever stopped to think how that was wrong, when all their pals normalize the same thought process? Isn’t that what mysoginistic men online prey on for them to not find out until it explodes on their faces? And now they see their loved tutor, who’s a woman, be affected by those kind of comments when they don’t feel I fit the rhetoric, and ask how much of that stuff is then actually false. To doubt what they’ve been fed, specially in a society like the one in my country. I plant the seed of doubt, and see it bloom. I gently guide them to a place of good while teaching math.
There was this kid in 5th grade before the pandemic who I saw weekly for a few months who one day proudly told me how he defended a girl in his class, who he even kinda disliked for unrelated reasons to this post, be picked up by some other boys for being a girl or some other bullshit I don’t remember. That the stuff they were saying were mean and false and made no sense. He was so proud of standing up for what he felt was wrong and following what his nice teacher had taught him, and I congratulated him for doing a good job. It made him so so happy to be recognized. He was such a nice kid. I hope he’s doing alright now.
Nooo mutual don’t put that “men fall down the alt-right pipeline bc women/feminists are too mean” post on my dash nooo mutual don’t try to say women need to be nicer when dealing with misogynistic men nooo mutual nooo
#man I I really do miss giving classes to José Antonio#he was such a funny guy#took me like 5 or 6 clases to make him understand that no he’s not dumb and math is not the worst thing in the world#to sit down the whole class with me and do the homework#that math can be fun#he sometimes told me how he waited all week to see me and tell me about what he did that week#I love when my students tell me that ahhhh#it makes me happy when they say how my class is a highlight of their week#I miss doing those more often#stupid college with his stupid class schedules that end up at 8 pm#I also miss the money#I also remember when Ana Lucia (15) went from almost failing math to actually be some of the best math students in her class#she was the ban of my existence and always a fight for her to do her homework#but my gif wasn’t she so proud when for the first time in her life she didn’t even had to do the final of math bc she had high enough#índice to be exonerated of doing it#her mom in a million years thought that would ever happen#anyways I derailed too much with my rambling#I love kids okay#even when being the most annoying motehrfuckers ever
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@hxney-lemcn said more cater fics and I am here 2 deliver ✌️✌️
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ friends kiss, too
type of post: short fic characters: cater additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, friends 2 lovers ON TOP! a little making out
Every time Cater drags you through one of these things, you ask yourself why you let him, and every time, the answer is the same: he's your best friend, and you love him.
It's the very same reason you let him spam you with texts and annoy you with surprise selfies. It's the reason you rarely hang out with anyone else, because you know it makes him jealous, though he'd never admit that.
It's the reason you're here, now, awake in your room well past curfew.
Despite the threat of a Housewarden who would flay you alive if he caught you and Cater sneaking around in the dead hours of the night, your bestie was absolutely insistent on this all-nighter.
It's a trend on Magicam, he said, and he had, of course, pouted and whined like a sad puppy until you agreed to "support him" by keeping him awake.
By two in the morning, you were more bored than tired.
"Pass. Pass," Cater says, swiping through dating profiles on his phone. "Hm... no, pass."
You sigh and slump against the headboard of your bed. "You've said that word so many times, it doesn't sound real anymore,"
"Ughhhh. Is Sage's Island where hotties go to die? I just want a cute holiday romance!" he exclaims. "Think of the pics!"
You roll your eyes. You'd heard that exact string of words probably ten times in the past few days.
"You can't date someone just for couple photo ops,"
Cater pouts. "Oh, yes I can. I specify "nothing serious" on my profile! It's not like I'm lying!"
Another eye-roll. He's technically right, as always, which just makes you even more annoyed.
But you don't want to get into an argument about the morality of flings right now.
"And it's cold out. Who am I gonna hold when it gets even colder? It's cuffing season, hon,"
Something about the way he says that bothers you. You try not to think about it so much.
"Well, you'll always have me," you tease.
Cater giggles, and sets his phone down on the bed, a subtle way of showing you that you have his full attention now. "Oh? What's this? Sounds like you're offering,"
"Not what I meant," you counter. "I'm your bestie, not your bae."
"Boooo. What are you, a nun? Friends cuddle all the time,"
Again, he's right. He likes being right, and you can see that on him now, too. He has that competitive glow on his face.
You smile. "Sure, sure, but we all know that cuddling isn't what you're looking for,"
Cater gasps, feigning offense with a hand placed delicately over his heart. "I am not that easy! I'm starting to think you really do want me all to yourself,"
If anything, it's the other way around. Since befriending him at the start of the school year, you'd always had the feeling that he took up all your time on purpose. But you don't say that.
"Besides," he goes on. "There are a lot of things that besties can do that are perfectly friend-like. The segregation of romantic and platonic is a totally oppressive amatonormative structure, anyway."
You roll your eyes. "You have got to stop reading those infographics. Do you even know what any of those words mean?"
"Not the point! I'm saying that there's lots of cute stuff we can do while remaining besties,"
He's very enthusiastic about this. You can't tell if it's his penchant for being right, or something more.
"Pfft. Okay. So, what, friends can kiss?"
"Obviously," Cater crosses his arms over his chest, giving you that smug look of his. "Friends kiss, too."
"Then prove it,"
The words that had you had been holding in the back of your mouth for the past few minutes escape before your brain can stop them.
Even Cater, who's never surprised, pales a little.
Your mouth opens, then closes, then opens, again without your thoughts offering any support.
"I didn't mean-"
"Okay,"
You blink. Something hot and cold at the same time runs through your body- adrenaline, anxiety, maybe it's just your own blood heating up at the way Cater leans closer, cupping your face in his hand, his fingers curled under your jaw and thumb gently brushing against your cheek.
His hands are kinda sweaty. You don't really mind, and even if you did, it wouldn't have mattered, because his lips are now sweetly pressing against yours.
You fit together quite nicely. As if he was just meant to kiss you.
It's hard not to think about everything all at once; his warm hand moving to cup your chin and hold you close to him, his hair brushing against your face, the way his lips still linger with spice from whatever he'd eaten earlier...
It's not perfect. But it's him, which is close enough.
Cater pulls away, his breath dancing across your lips, but he gives you no time to recover before he's closer, kissing you again with a sort of heat that matched the taste of his mouth.
He holds your face in both hands, shamelessly pinning you against the headboard and sitting in your lap as if he belonged there, always.
Minutes go by. Maybe hours. You wouldn't have noticed, or cared, either way. When you finally part from one another, it's felt like years.
You feel like an entirely different person. As if the world had ended and begun again in the six minutes you had been kissing him.
Cater sits atop your thighs, panting, his face redder than his Housewarden's hair, that of which would have flayed you both if he were to catch you like this.
Luckily, it's just the two of you.
"See?" Cater finally mumbles, dismounting you and scooting back to where he left his phone. "Platonic."
You're too breathless to argue.
You suppose you'll let him be right again.
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Slide - The Trial - MYG
Pairing: Producer!Yoongi X Lyricist!Reader
Theme: Angst, smut, unplanned pregnancy. Fwb to ?
Word count: 1.1k+
Summary:
"Caught in a daze, I persuade her with my own complications"
Alternatively,
You have some questions and Yoongi has no answer.
Listened to Slide by Chase Atlantics
Warnings: Angst, reader's turning point. Yoongi's suffering has began.
Minors do not interact!!
Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Patreon (for early access)
Taglist requests are closed for now
A/N: another Yoongi's pov. before we dive into reader's post miscarriage angst. also, I have tagged everyone who asked to be tagged after I closed the request for the first time but I have only tagged the blogs which have age mentioned in their bios.
Read the next chapter
“I want a daughter first and then… ummm… probably a son too. We will name her Yunri. Yoongi plus Gyuri, Yunri.” Gyuri had told him once, latching onto his arm as if it meant everything to her.
Yoongi knew he should have felt warmth bubbling in his chest, he knew he should have felt giddy but what he felt was dread running through the entire course of his body.
Getting married, having kids are two of the things he never planned for in life - not even when he fell in love with Gyuri, not even when he got engaged to her somewhat against his own will.
But now he feels weird, he feels something really really uncomfortable in his chest as he stares at your weak frail form weeping while sitting at the couch.
His own limbs feel like jelly as he realizes again that you were pregnant and the baby was his.
A baby - his and yours.
Why doesn’t it feel so dreadful anymore?
Yoongi puts the entire weight of his body on his arms and pushes himself off of the ground. His toes carry his body towards you.
But he is afraid - what if you push him away now? What if you break when he touches you?
What if you scatter and disappear in fine dust as soon as he gets close to you?
What if… what if… all of this is a dream?
You don’t look at him when he silently sits beside you. It hurts him but he knows better than putting the blame on you.
If anyone is to be blamed, then it’s him for sure.
Yoongi opens his mouth to say something - anything. But he only gapes like a fish out of water because his thoughts don’t form a coherent sentence.
Your face is covered with your small palms, Yoongi wants to reach out, clutch those and apologize to you until you forgive him for all the damages he has done.
But he can’t.
Again he is afraid to break you even more.
“Why.. why didn’t you tell me?” Yoongi doesn’t recognize his own voice when it leaves his throat. There is much more pain than he has heard himself speak with in a while - certainly for the first time after Gyuri left.
You sniff, then rub tears off your eyes and stare blankly at the ceiling.
The scene is awfully similar to your and his first night together. He still recalls losing himself in those dark eyes of yours little by little and then finally diving into your abyss.
“There are tons of reasons why. But even if I did, would it change anything?” your voice is completely opposite of his - steady, firm, doesn’t bear a single hint of all the tears he has been watching you shade.
You are truly just another version of him.
“That doesn’t answer my question, Y/N. Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” Yoongi scoots a little closer to your body.
You sigh, a deep, resigned sigh that says you are exhausted - both mentally and physically.
“If I told you, wouldn’t you think that this is an excuse? For keeping you all to myself? For not letting you go back to the only woman you have ever loved? Wouldn’t you, Yoongi?” You finally look at him, eyes red with continuous crying.
Yoongi can’t stare into your eyes now. He is ashamed because you are right. He would have thought you are just like other women out there - trying to latch onto him for god knows what.
He licks his lips instead, prepares to say something but you cut him off again.
“Also you said … you don’t want to have kids.” your voice trembles now.
Again you are right - Yoongi definitely doesn’t want kids. But then why losing your and his baby tugs painfully at his heartstrings?
Why?
“But I am responsible for your pregnancy, I- I should have been there for you.” Yoongi tries to reach out for your hand but you move away, standing on your weak feet.
“There’s no point of regretting now. The baby is gone.” you inhale a long breath and then continue, “but I really want to know what you are doing here? At this hour? Right after rejecting me?”
Yoongi stands up too, somewhat hyper, “I didn’t reject you. I was- I was just shocked. You ran away before- before I got to utter a single word, Y/N. I wanted to go after you but-”
“But then the right person came to claim you and you ended up lost in her lips, am I right?” you don’t scream but anger is evident in your voice anyway.
Yoongi recalls the doctor asking him not to stress you out any more.
“It was a trial, Y/N. Me and Gyuri getting back together was a trial. I knew it wasn’t a good idea but when she begged me- I- I couldn’t say no. I knew I was hurting you too and I thought getting back with her would set you free. But I- I was wrong. I wasn’t free myself. I kept thinking of you.” Yoongi stops, gulps the lump in his throat and proceeds to continue, “I know I sound selfish but I got attached to you during our time together. And it is not meaningless to me as you happen to believe. You are more meaningful than most of the people in my life… including Gyuri. I… I broke things off with her, this time forever. And I came to tell you that… that I want to try being with you. If you’d let me.”
You scoff, “and why so? Why do you want to try being with me?”
Your question renders Yoongi speechless. He doesn’t know the answer to your question.
“Tell me, Yoongi, why do you want to try? What is it that you feel for me?” you press more. Your new found determination of cornering him shocks him, but he knows he is the one to blame.
And now that he wonders the answers, he can’t find any firm sentence to offer you.
He still doesn’t know what he feels for you.
“I- I don’t know. I don’t know what I feel for you.”
You laugh, dry but dripping with amusement and anger, “then I would ask you to leave. You may only come back with the thought of getting together with me when you are sure about my place in your life.”
You slowly walk away from him, taking careful steps towards your bedroom.
Yoongi stands there as he feels the void in his chest getting bigger and bigger. A tear escapes his eyes but he still doesn’t know what he is crying for - you? The unborn baby? Or himself?
His real trial, probably, begins here.
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The Psychology of Love and Loathing
Spencer Reid x F!Reader
Enemies to lovers!
Word count: 7,584
Warnings: no use of y/n, reader goes by 'bunny', discussion of a case (nothing too far from usual Criminal Minds gore), reader has three PhD's (bet you didn't know that), briefly mentions readers mother committing su!cide, mentions of toxic parents, alcohol consumption, jealous! Reader, jealous! Reid, pet names (good girl, silly girl, baby, sweetheart, sweet thing), degradation, oral f! Receiving, like one line of oral m!receiving, unprotected p in v (pls wrap it before you tap it), no mention of reader being on birth control, anal play, overstimulation, after care. If i missed anything let me know!
Author’s note: i’m so sorry im ovulating. This is porn w a shit ton of plot. We’re talkin WORLD BUILDING
MDNI BELOW THE CUT
You blink at the papers in front of you, checking once, twice, double checking three times to make sure what you're seeing is correct.
You were on a case in Texas, called in by local police after four bodies, two wealthy couples, were found shot execution-style and posed on different park benches throughout Amarillo. While at first, it seemed as though it was your average serial killer, the autopsy report showed that the gunshot wound was done post-mortem- all four victims were murdered by being forced to drink household bleach.
You looked down at the papers one more time, noticing that one man, Adam Gilman, cleaned houses of the wealthy, and he purchased a lot of bleach. Way more than needed to clean a few bathrooms.
You quickly dial Garcia, and she answers within the first ring.
"Ask and you shall receive."
"Garcia, what can you find out about Adam Gilman?"
You hear typing from the other end of the line before spewing information, "35-year-old white male, he grew up super rich until his dad pulled his college funding his senior year when his sister went to school to be a doctor. He started paying for her," She suddenly sucked in a breath, "It looks like he had to drop out. He was at Harvard Law. Spiraled downhill from there, sending you the files and address now."
"Thanks, Garcia!"
You rush into the room where the rest of the team is and run up to Hotch.
"Look at this! He fits the profile to a t!"
Hotch looks down at his tablet, and you feel eyes glance over to you, about to speak, but Spencer Reid bursts through the doors.
"Guys our unsub is Adam Gilman! He lives five minutes from here, and his job is on the way."
Hotch nods at you, acknowledging that you have the same information but Reid said it louder, "Let's go."
Since you joined the Bureau last year, Spencer Reid has been competing with you. Whereas he was thirty-three with three PhDs, you were twenty-five with the same amount. Of course, he got his when he was much younger, but he still seemed to overcompensate.
He was intimidated by you.
This wasn't the first time a situation like this had happened. It's almost like he had a radar for when you made a big break, and he wanted to steal the spotlight.
And not to mention he hates you for some reason.
Ever since your first week in the BAU, Dr. Reid has acted indifferent to you. You understand that change can be uncomfortable, but you have done nothing to deserve this cold shoulder.
On your first day, you strutted into the office dressed in a pair of black slacks, a black, v-neck blouse, and some hot pink pumps; being honest, you looked like you owned the place.
When Aaron introduced you to the team, you shook everyone's hand except Reid's.
"The number of pathogens passed through a handshake is staggering," he stated mater-of-factly while staring at your hand, "it's actually safer to kiss."
You laugh and tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, "Although I appreciate the concern, a handshake is actually a sign of peaceful intentions. Soldiers would cover their swords on their left side and shake their right hand to show they mean no harm," you shrug, "but I understand the mysophobia."
He nodded at you, a glare suddenly hardening his features, "interesting."
He has refused to hold conversation with you, maintain eye contact with you, or be in the same room with you for an extended amount of time ever since.
He hates it the most when you're right.
After arresting Adam, the team desperately needed to interrogate him. He was denying all claims despite all the evidence against him. In fact, all he has said has been denials. Besides that, he didn't speak. He hadn't asked for a lawyer, hadn't shown any recognition to the couples, and hadn't said anything besides I've never seen those people before.
"We need to make him uncomfortable," Morgan says, "he's running this whole show. We gotta flip the tide."
Emily looks up from her Chinese takeout, laughing, "Let's throw Bun and Reid in there."
Your eyes widen, and you are suddenly incredibly red. Your face is on fire, and you start looking around panicked.
The team started referring to you as 'Bun' over the summer when you all went to a bar together. You accidentally had one too many drinks, and Derek said you were bouncing up and down the whole time.
"She's like a Bunny."
"Don't call me a Bunny!" You slur, "I'm mean. And vicious."
Penelope laughs at you, throwing an arm around your shoulder, "Alright, Bun. Let's go dance!"
Ever since that night, the nickname 'bun' stuck.
Although Emily suggested you and Reid distracting Adam as a joke, Rossi's lips pull into a smile, "That just might work."
Emily sets her food down, suddenly aware that she presented the first good idea so far, "we could dress them up some, make them look like a wealthy couple, and have them ask Adam some questions. It might make him mad enough to break."
Aaron looks at you and you gulp subtly, then he looks to Reid, "It's up to you."
You look at your feet, frowning, "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get this guy in jail."
Reid simply nods.
"Okay," Aaron says, "we'll go get the stuff."
You and Spencer remain in the small room while the others rush out to get the things you require for your transformation.
"Hi." Your voice comes out quiet.
"Hello." He responds blandly.
You suddenly realize this is the first time you and Reid have been in a room alone together, so you take the opportunity.
"What have I done to you?"
Reid's eyebrows shoot up at the confrontation "Huh?"
You roll your eyes, "ever since my first day you've avoided me. What did I do?"
He scoffs, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Sure you don't." You sigh and run a hand through your hair, "I'm the only person on the team you practically refuse to talk to."
"I'm talking to you right now," he says as if that's a counterargument, "I talk to you all the time."
"Yeah, when you're forced to!" You say exasperatedly, "You know everyone on the team's birthdays, all except mine. You know their family situation because you've asked."
He shrugs, "I know plenty about you."
"How old am I?"
He looks into your eyes calmly, "You're twenty-eight."
"I'm twenty-five."
Emily suddenly bursts into the room, "There isn't anything for you guys in lost and found. You have to go on a shopping trip. Strauss said a 300 dollar limit."
You nod, "I assume that's just for clothes?"
"Yes," She answers, "Reid is going to wear Rossi's watch and a wedding band JJ's going to pick up. Both of you will wear a ring." She then looks to you, "We have a lot of jewelry for you to pick through."
You nod, standing and Reid rises next to you.
Emily tosses you some keys, "be back in an hour."
***
The ride to the mall was quiet. You didn't bother talking to Spencer as you drove, and he didn't bother speaking to you.
He also kept turning down the radio when you tried to turn it up. It was painfully awkward.
Once at the mall, you and Reid split up incredibly fast.
He ran to some men's warehouse, and you rushed to the women's section of a department store.
You quickly pick up a pair of black pinstriped slacks that hug your curves and a tight, white blouse. You finally grab a black, pinstriped blazer, and you head to check out.
On your way, though, a pair of stunning, emerald heels grabs your attention.
You walk closer to study them, and god do they look lavish.
If you weren't here for work, you would grab them in a heartbeat, but you were, and you had already met your price cap.
"Buy them."
You hear Spencer's voice from behind you, and you jump, grabbing your chest in fright.
"What?"
"Get them," he shrugs, "it's obvious you want to."
You laugh shyly, and he stuffs his hands into his jean pockets, his bag of clothes hanging around his wrist.
"I've already met my limit."
"Okay?"
You frown, studying him. He looks calm and relaxed. You tilt your head slightly, and he matches your movement.
No, that can't be right.
You cross your arms in a silent stare down, and he does, too.
"You're mimicking me."
He scoffs, "God, Bun, not everything I do is to spite you!"
Your eyes widen and you suddenly point at him, "You!"
"What?"
"You just called me Bun!"
His eyes barely widen, but he catches himself, staring straight ahead.
His foot stops tapping, "you're hearing things."
"And that's your tell!" You point at his foot, "You just mimicked me, called me 'Bun', and then lied about it!"
He rolls his eyes, "what size are you?"
"You're avoiding the question!"
"You didn't ask a question." He gestures to the heels, "What size?"
"Why?"
"Answer the question, Bunny."
His tone is stern, and you freeze under his stare.
"Nine."
He nods and grabs a box in that size.
"No!" You protest, "Don't!"
"I still had a hundred bucks left over, it's on the company's card."
You blink twice, confused as to why he's being so nice to you.
"Okay. I need to pay and I'm done."
He nods to you, and you both check out. He hands you the heels and you let out a quiet thanks while headed to the car.
***
When you got back to the station, the turnaround was dizzying.
You were shoved into a room to change, as was Reid.
After you changed, JJ came in and whistled.
"Sheesh, Bun, you look good!"
You laugh and straighten out your jacket, slipping on the heels Spencer bought you today.
"Are those new?"
You nod, "yeah, Spencer said he had some left in his budget."
She shook her head, "Reid must've bought those with his own money."
Your eyes widen, and she laughs, "C'mon, Bun. You need to look at jewelry."
You picked out a pair of dainty, diamond earrings, a matching necklace, and several expensive bracelets that had to be physically screwed onto your wrists.
Once standing in front of Hotch, Emily gave you the wedding bands JJ had picked up.
Yours was a gorgeous gold band with an emerald-cut diamond on top. It was simple, but, God, was it stunning.
You slipped it onto your finger and Reid slipped the simple golden band over his, his hands looking all that much better with the ring on it. It makes your mouth water just thinking about his fingers.
You quickly shake your head. No. You hate Spencer Reid. Nothing will change that.
Hotch gives you and Reid strict instructions on how to talk to Adam, and then he's sending you in.
"Sell it," Aaron says, "this might be our only shot."
You give him a curt nod, linking your arm with Reid and smiling as you walk into the interrogation room.
Spencer looks down at you with a look of passion you've never seen before. One that you aren't convinced could be fake.
As soon as you looked at Adam, you could tell there was something off. He was picking at the skin around his nails and chewing on the skin of his lips where they looked raw and painful.
As you sat down in front of him, Spencer was the first to speak.
"Who is this guy again, babe?"
You held back the shock in your face at the pet name as he put a hand on your thigh. You made a point to twist the wedding ring on your finger before opening the files in front of you.
"Adam?" You look up at the man in front of you, "are you Adam?" He nods, and you hum, "Who are you, exactly?"
Reid smiles and looks to you, "Play nice." He slides the files over to him, "Harvard law, that's impressive. Did you apply or did your father buy your way in?"
Adam's eyes narrowed, "I applied and got accepted. I was a prodigy."
You smile subtly, knowing you and Reid have already gotten him to show more of himself than he had to anyone else.
You look at your fake husband and laugh, "I don't think you can decide that you're a prodigy." You look Adam up and down, "my husband, here," you place your hand on Spencer's shoulder, looking at him as if he hung the moon and stars, "he is a prodigy. How old were you when you got your first PhD?"
"Seventeen," he laughed humbly, looking at you, "you flatter me."
You smile softly as Reid squeezes your thigh, something Adam could not see and, therefore, was unnecessary. You look at Spencer, but he refuses to meet your eyes.
You turn back to Adam, pulling out the photos of the four bodies and showing them to him, "have you met these people before?"
He shakes his head, "I've never seen those people before."
"Really?" You ask calmly, "You've never, ever, seen Andrea Haskins?"
Adam shakes his head.
"Never, not once, seen her husband, Kent Haskins, either?"
He shakes his head again.
Reid sits up straighter, linking his hands together on the table in front of him, "you received a pretty generous amount of money from him every month since... August?"
You mentally thank Garcia for that information, and mentally thank Reid for remembering it.
Adam sits up straight, too, but falling shorter than Reid, "I clean their house for them, don't mean I've ever met 'em."
You hum, "I wouldn't let a stranger into our home, would you?"
Reid shakes his head, and Adam gets visibly upset at your interactions. His hands clench to the table ledge, knees bouncing, eyes narrowed.
"Say, Adam," you perk up, "how much bleach do you use per house you clean, about?"
Adam's eyes trained on me, "you're a smart girl," he then looked to Reid, "with an even smarter husband." He spits the words as if they are poison on his tongue, "You do the math."
You stand, smiling softly, "So, not 10 gallons per week?"
Adam shrugs, "If that's your calculation."
You walk closer to the man, sitting on the table next to him and leaning down to him, "And I assume you also have never met the Coleman's?"
He shakes his head.
"Never met anyone in the Coleman family?"
"No. God, you people suck at your job."
"That's actually interesting considering we have video footage of your picking up Lacey Coleman from school last Monday. A family doesn't let a stranger house cleaner pick up their child from school."
Adam's eyes widen, and you know you have him cornered.
"How long had your sister been friends with the Colemans?" Reid interjects.
"Don't you dare talk about her."
"Why not?" Reid asks simply, "Does she bother you?"
"I was going to be a Lawyer, I was going to be successful and make my dad proud of me. Until she ruined it all with her perfect schooling and perfect husband," Adam spits.
"Halley is a pretty successful neurosurgeon, huh? She gets all of daddy's special attention, doesn't she?" You say.
"Get your wife on a leash," Adam says to Reid.
"All you wanted was to feel loved, to hear your dad say he's proud of you," you keep talking, "and you were going to kill him because he wouldn't say it."
"Shut the hell up, bitch!"
"You were getting ready to kill your mom and dad because, hey, why not go straight to the source? Why not kill who made you like this?"
"What if your family pulled your funds for a sibling, huh?" He yells to you and Reid, "How would you feel?"
The room goes silent and Reid allows you to keep talking, keep getting on his nerves.
"His daddy left him when his mom got sick, and my mommy killed herself when I was seven. We worked for our degrees, and we worked even harder for the scholarships that paid for our three PhDs." You hiss, "I would've worked harder to get what I want instead of just expecting it."
"You're a bitch," Adam spit in my face.
"I could be worse. I could take away a little girl's family. I could kill four innocent people out of my frustration and failure."
Reid finally stepped in, grabbing your hand softly and pulling you back to your side of the table.
"I didn't kill those people."
"That's not what your body is telling us, Adam." Reid states simply, "You are hurt and still are hurting, I understand that. But now so is Lacey. That's on you."
Adam's lip quivers, "I didn't hurt Lacey! Lacey was at her friend's house!"
Reid rises, grabs your hand gently, and walks to the door, and you follow.
"Hey!" Adam screams, "where are you going? Get back here!"
As soon as the door shuts behind you, you let go of Reid's hand. He turns to you and watches your expression shift.
"Good work, Bun."
You nod, and he looks like he's about to say something else, mouth opening, but then Hotchner walks in.
"Great work.”
You smile at Aaron, and Reid stares at you with something dark behind his eyes. He looks nervous, and hungry, and concerned, and certain.
"We'll be heading back in 30. Wrap up. Great job, Doctors."
***
On the plane, you and Reid are still in your "Rich Couple" personas, not having enough time to change out.
You sit near the back of the plane, headphones in, and reading Songs of Innocence and Songs of Experience by William Blake.
"Little Lamb who made thee, Dost though know who made thee?"
You hear the words of "The Lamb" spoken, causing you to take out your headphones and look to the source: Spencer Reid.
He sits across from you as you ask, "You read Blake?"
"Blake to Poe to Plath, I don't mind."
You narrow your eyes at him, "what do you want?"
"Really?" He asks, "We can't just have a nice moment?"
You raise your eyebrows at him, "Not you and me. We don't have nice moments."
His facial features soften, and he sighs, "I'm sorry for acting so harsh toward you. You didn't deserve that."
You're shocked by his statement, "Pardon me?"
He runs a hand through his hair, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, "I was scared, Bun. I was the smart one. I convinced myself that was all I could be," his breath hitches and his eyes connect with mine, "I thought if there was someone smarter, more sociable, and nicer than me, they wouldn't need me anymore."
"Spence..." you start, and you realize it's the first time you've called him his nickname.
He notices it, too, eyes shifting from one of concern to one of understanding, "You're incredibly smart. You're kind, and you're fun to be around. I'm sorry it took me so long to notice that."
You nodded, "thank you."
He nods and goes to stand.
"Wait." You quickly speak up and he freezes, "What's... um..." you stutter, "what's your favorite Poe?"
Reid smiles, sitting back down, "Annabel Lee."
You smile, "Gold-Bug."
He laughs, "Really?"
And you nod.
****
"Let's go get drinks!" Garcia announces as you and the team wrap up your paperwork, and you laugh.
"I don't think so," you smile, "not tonight."
"C'mon, Bun," Garcia whines "It'll be fun!"
Reid suddenly looked at you, eyes darker, eyes that held you tight in a grip, "Yeah, c'mon, Bun." He says the name with a sensuality you had never heard before. It sent a shiver down your spine, "it'll be fun."
You look at him, taking in a shaky breath, "I.. uh, don't have a ride."
"I'll drive you," Reid says simply, and the rest of the team just stares at the interaction.
Things have changed since the interrogation room, you know that, but did you want to be alone with him already?
You look at him, his messy hair, his stubble, and chocolate brown eyes, and your pussy clenches around nothing.
You find yourself nodding, mouth too dry to speak.
"Good," he smiles, "follow me."
Your team watches with uncertainty as you walk off with Spencer, and it's almost like they've seen the change, too.
No, they're profilers. They know Reid had you wrapped around his finger while reciting Blake.
They also knew Spencer had been pining after you since you wore those hot pink heels on the first day of work. But they didn't need to tell you that.
Reid guides you to the elevator, and you comply silently. Once the door closes and it's just you two, you turn to Spencer.
"What are you doing?"
"What do you mean?" He responds simply.
You turn to face him, "why are you being so nice to me?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Bun."
You roll your eyes, "yeah right."
The elevator doors open, and he walks you to his car, opening the door for you.
"Thank you," you smile cautiously, and he nods.
He sits down in the driver's seat and pulls out of his parking spot. One of his hands rests on the wheel, the other placed on the gearshift. His eyes focus on the road, but they occasionally slide over to you. The silence- although comfortable- practically kills you.
"Why are you being so nice to me?"
He glances over at you, and he smirks, "I want to."
You look at him, "why?"
He shrugs, "spent too long not doing it."
You nod and glance out the window, just as Spencer puts the car in park.
As you step out of the car, you hear Derek and Emily from behind you, making a show of letting you know they are also here.
You walked over to Morgan and hugged him.
"Hey, Bunny," he smiles and kisses your forehead, "first rounds on me tonight, sweetheart."
You laugh, "thank god! Need a handsome man to buy me some drinks!"
Reid scoffs from behind you, but you shrug it off, assuming it was about something Emily had said.
It wasn't.
As you walk into the bar with Derek's arm around your shoulder, you quickly make your way to the table with Garcia and Rossi.
"What are you drinking?" You ask Garcia, gesturing to her hot pink drink in front of her, garnished with cotton candy, strawberries on sticks, and a big, twisty straw.
Gracia's eyes widen, "oh my gosh! You've never been here before??" You shake your head, and she squeals with excitement, "Okay, so, it's called the Cotton Candy Chameleon. It's basically strawberry vodka and coconut rum with strawberry soda! Look!" She picks up the cotton candy and places it into the liquid, watching as it rapidly dissolves, "did you see that?!"
"That's why it's called a Chameleon," Derek laughs, arm still around you, "want me to get you one?"
You nod happily, "and a shot of Titos? I'll pay you back!"
Morgan winks at you, "It's on me, Bun."
As he walks toward the bar, you and Garcia continue to chat about anything and everything, her childhood cat, where you grew up, and how Garcia got put on the team.
"You were so good at being bad," you laugh, swirling your third Cotton Candy Chameleon that Morgan brought over to you, "that the FBI gave you a job instead of jail time?"
She nodded, giggling, "Pretty much. Are you going to take that shot?" She points to the round Rossi had bought for the table.
You laugh, quickly picking it up and downing it, "god!"
"Woah!" Morgan laughs, hands catching your hips to keep you steady, "careful, Bunny."
You feel eyes glaring into you, and you trace them to Reid sitting at the bar. He has his elbow on the bar, leaning into his hand as he watches you with a look of unhappiness.
You roll your eyes, finishing the final chug of your drink, and placing a hand on Morgan's chest.
"You're warm," you say with a goofy smile, and Derek laughs.
"Oh, really, sweetheart?"
You nod, leaning further into him as his hands rest on your hips.
You make eye contact with him before you smirk and push away, "I'm going to get another drink."
"Hey, Bun!" You turn around to Rossi, his empty glass raised to you, "Get me another old fashioned."
You nod, smiling at the older man, and waltzing to the bar, right next to Reid.
"You having fun, Bunny?" He asks, voice low.
"Yes, sir." You smile, waiting for the bartender to walk over.
He sucks in a breath at the title, "You sure are touchy with Morgan," he grits out, staring at you, not quite your eyes, but something a little bit lower.
You scoff, "What's it to you?"
"Nothing." He spits, eyes connecting with yours, pupils taking over the brown of his eyes.
The bartender finally comes up to you, a cute girl in a black, low-cut tank top and some black, short shorts. She has short blonde hair, barely reaching her shoulders and it's curled up and pinned back so her hair is framing her face.
She was gorgeous, actually.
"What can I do for ya?" She asks, shaking a drink before breaking the seal and pouring it into a glass.
You tell her your order, and that it's on David Rossi's tab, and she nods.
Then she turns to Spencer, "What about you handsome?" She says it sultry like she's trying to seduce him, "Need another? I'd be happy to get you somethin' else."
Your eyes narrow on her, a deep, red-hot feeling forming in your gut. She doesn't see your stare though, completely focused on Spencer, leaning over the counter so her cleavage is on full display, biting her lip and twirling her hair.
You decided then and there that you hated her.
Reid tells her that he's okay, water if she insists, and when she comes back with his water, she hands him a napkin with ink scribbled on it, "I get off in 45 if you're interested."
"He's not."
The words come out of your lips faster than you could think, your brain taking longer to catch up with your mouth.
"Pardon?" She asks you, calm and calculating, "Didn't know you could decide that for him."
You laugh cockily, "Oh?" You act fast pulling yourself into Reid's lap before he can protest, but his hands wrap around you, trapping you where you sat, "I think I can."
Reid looked at the bartender, then his eyes trailed back to you, "Sorry, Brooklyn, I'm spoken for," his eyes darkened, a sly smile rising on his lips.
The bartender walks away to work on your drinks, and you turn all the way to face Reid.
"What are you doing, Bun?" He asks, voice low. You shift your hips and he hums, grabbing your waist to stop the movement, "Stop that. Talk to me."
You whimper, leaning into his chest, "You were really going to choose some bottle blonde over me?" Your words come out harsh, but it's also the first time you've said what's truly on your mind in front of Reid.
His eyes land back on Brooklyn, and he smirks, "She's pretty, I'll give her that," he looks down at you, right as the bartender places the drinks in front of you, "But you? You're on a whole different level, Bun."
You blush and shake your head, just as Brooklyn walks back over to hand you your drinks.
As she sets them down she says, "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you two were a thing."
You quickly shake your head, "Don't worry about it," you smile, "neither did he."
"In my defense," Spencer laughs, his lips close to your ear, "I didn't know you were an option. If I had, there wouldn't have been a competition."
You shiver when you feel his breath on your neck, "yeah, right. You've hated me since I joined the BAU."
His eyes widened, "Hated you?"
You nod softly, a little confused by the question.
"Hated isn't the word I would use," He laughed.
"What is?" You ask quietly.
He leans his head side to side, as if pondering the best way to answer, "obsessed? Intimidated?" He looked at you, a small smirk playing on his lips, "Lusted?"
Your eyes widened, "what?"
He shrugs, a hand falling to your thigh, thumb drawing circles, "The way you are entrances me. The way you walk, the way you talk, the way you exist." He leans his head down so his eyes meet yours, "I knew I couldn't do anything about that, so I stayed away. I guess it came off as hatred."
The hand that wasn't on your leg reached up to pluck the cotton candy off of your drink, opening his mouth and letting the sugar melt on his tongue.
"Mmm," he hummed, eyes still locked with yours, "so sweet, Bun."
Your jaw dropped slightly, thighs clenching, and he grips your flesh, "Nuh, uh. What's wrong?" He chuckles as you whine against him, "Use your words."
You sit up, straightening and sliding off of his lap, "You're a sick freak, Spencer Reid."
He licked his lips, eyes trailing down your body, "I'll bring Rossi his drink, wait by the door."
You cross your arms over your chest, but your heart is pounding so loudly you can hear it in your ears, "what makes you think I listen to you?"
"Oh, Bunny," his finger lifts your chin, "I'm a profiler. Absolutely everything tells me that you'll listen to me."
You roll your eyes and scoff, "And if they ask where we're going?"
A devilish smirk flashes across his lips, and he leans toward your ear, and you can feel his breath on your skin, "you already told them you're tired," he pauses, "I'm going to fuck you to sleep, Doctor."
You suck in a shuddering breath, eyes glazing over as he chuckles, pulling away from you.
You take a step back, mumbling, "Hurry back."
He smiles widely, pupils practically taking over his chocolate eyes, "good girl."
You suck in a breath as he turns on his heel, walking over to the team as you wait by the door. Penelope frowns at you, waving, and Emily blows you a kiss.
Rossi looks at you calmly, and Derek raises a smooth eyebrow with a smirk.
Spencer walks back to you, grabbing your arm as you walk to the car.
Once you get back to his black Dodge Challenger, he presses you against the door, “How drunk are you right now?”
“From one to ten?” You ask, voice quiet, Reid looking at you like you’re a meal.
He nods, hands gripping your hips, “Goddamn it, Bun,” he hisses, “Yes, one to ten.”
“Four,” you answer, and his lips slam into yours in a frenzy.
It’s all tongue and teeth like he couldn’t wait a single second longer to taste you. Like it would kill him.
Your chest arches into his, hands going to his shoulders, holding on for life in the bruising kiss.
He pulls away, his eyes nearly black, eyes filled with an undeniable hunger, and it makes you shiver.
A smirk comes over his face as he steps away from you, opening your door, “get in.”
You don’t have to be told twice, stepping into the car, carefully so you don’t fall in the emerald heels he bought you.
With his own money.
“Spencer?”
He turns on the car and pulls out of the parking spot, “Yeah?”
You look at him, studying how you are both still dressed like a posh-rich couple, “You bought me these heels.”
He nods, chuckling and placing his hand on your thigh, “Excellent observation.”
You shudder at the contact, “with your own money.”
He smirks, “Who told you that?”
“JJ?”
“Ah,” he laughs, “Yeah, green’s your color.”
You raise an eyebrow, “How did you decide that?”
“A few weeks ago you wore this emerald green sweater,” he says, “It looked so goddamn good on you.”
You recall the memory, smiling softly, “Is that why you were avoiding me? You thought I looked pretty?”
His voice gets stern, face serious when he looks over at you, “Stop talking, Bun.”
A belly laugh escapes your mouth, head thrown back as you cackle, “I thought I pissed you off somehow!”
He gives your thigh a sharp squeeze, “I don’t think I’ve ever been genuinely angry with you.”
You sit dumbfounded, a quiet oh slipping past your closed lips.
He looks at you and parks the car, “I’ve been upset, frustrated, and God have I been irritated with you,” he turns to look at you, pulling his hand away from your leg, “But I have never been angry with you.”
He unbuckles quickly as you stare at him in surprise, and he gets out of the car, rushing around to open your door, “hurry up.”
You stumble out of the car, and he puts a hand on the small of your back, ushering you into his apartment.
You don’t get a chance to fully appreciate the chaotic charm of Spencer Reid’s place. As soon as you notice the books piled up everywhere, he spins you around, pressing your back against the door and capturing your lips in another kiss. This kiss is slower and more controlled, with his hands sliding up your sides to your back, one hand tangling in the hair at the base of your neck. You ball his shirt into your hands, pulling him impossibly closer.
“God, Bun, your fucking intoxicating,” he sighs against your lips, hands slipping under your shirt to rest on your bare hips, and you sigh at the contact.
He smirks, trailing wet kisses down your neck, gently grazing his teeth over your pulse point, and you moan, “there she is,” he mumbles, “been wanting to hear you make those pretty little sounds for a while.”
You whimper, “Shut up.”
He laughs, tugging you away from the door, and guiding you into his bedroom.
You shed off your suit jacket, and he rips your shirt over your head before pushing you down on his mattress. You gasp as you fall, Spencer's hands quickly move to your slacks, unbuttoning them and looking up at you with eyes so fiery you feel your whole body set aflame.
“Yes,” you say, noticing the silent question Spencer is asking you, “please, yes.”
He smirks, kissing the skin just above the waistline of your pants before tugging them down, and you lift your hips to help him slide them off.
He throws the items into the corner of his room, sitting up and looking at you: dressed in nothing but a black bra and matching panties, his eyes darken. He slides his hands down your body, and he practically growls when he feels your sopping wet cunt.
“God dammit, you’re so wet Bunny,” he says, his finger sliding over the soaked fabric of your panties, “such a silly girl, thinking I could want anyone but you.”
You whimper at the comment, and he leans down to kiss your upper thigh, slowly spreading your legs apart with the palms of his hands. Your legs widen as he settles in, kissing slowly up and around them, licking, sucking, and biting until you’re littered with heart-shaped marks.
“Gonna show you how much I wanted you,” he hisses, his hot breath fanning over your covered pussy, “gotta let you know how dumb you are for thinking I was anyone’s but yours.”
You whimper shamelessly at the comment, your legs trying to close, desperate for any kind of friction.
“Oh, you like that, don’t you, Bunny?” he laughs, looking up at you from between your thighs, “You like it when I tell you just how stupid you are? How fuckin’ useless that little brain of yours is?”
You nod rapidly, and Spencer licks a thick stripe over your clothed core. You let out a loud gasp, your head lolling to the side at the much-appreciated attention. He pushes your underwear to the side, diving into your pussy like a man starved. Spencer kitten licks your clit before pulling it into his mouth and sucking harshly, and your back arches from the bed.
“Fuck, Spence,” you moan, hands shooting into his hair, “so fuckin good, feels so good.”
“Mmm, there you go, baby,” he says, his index finger circling your entrance, “let me know how good I’m doing,” and his finger slowly pushes into you as his mouth reconnects to your hot skin.
Spencer Reid was talented with his tongue, but, god, his fingers were a whole other story.
He curled his finger toward him, finding that sweet, gummy spot inside you almost immediately, abusing it before inserting another and scissoring his fingers.
“You’re so tight,” he mumbles against your cunt, and a loud moan slips from your lips, your hands tangling into his hair as you desperately try to grind against his tongue, but he puts a hand over your stomach, holding you down.
He continues his torment, fingers working you open and his tongue moving rapidly through your folds. His fingers drag down your front wall slowly, and you can’t help his name slipping off of your tongue.
He smirks, looking up at you, “Atta girl, Bunny. Let everyone know who’s making you feel this good.”
You moan loudly as he continues his torment. Your legs start to shake, his tongue swirling circles around your clit, teeth grazing the sensitive skin, and one of your hands grabs your breast to ground you. Your breathing gets ragged, and it’s all you can do to stop yourself from screaming.
“You gonna cum for me, Bunny?” He asks, voice low, “Gonna cum all over my fingers?”
You nod, and he tsk’s.
“Without asking?” He says, a smirk on his perfect lips, slowing his fingers down and moving to kiss the insides of your thighs, “Not even going to ask after I’ve worked so hard for you?”
You throw your head back with a groan, “Please, Spencer!”
“Please what?”
You consider slapping him, telling him to stop treating you like some desperate slut, but in your current state? You might as well be.
“Please let me cum! I’ve been so good for you, Spence, I’ll be so good!”
“Yeah? You going to be my good girl?” he asks, eyes locking with yours, eyebrows raised, as he speeds up his fingers inside of your spasming pussy, “You promise?”
“Promise! Please, Spence, let me cum for you!”
He pauses for a second like he’s thinking, the smirk on his face growing, “cum for me, Bunny,” and he watches your face, jaw dropped as you orgasm around his fingers, your slick coating his palm and dripping onto the sheets below you as he works you through your bliss.
Once you come down, though, his fingers don't stop moving, his thumb moving to rub tight circles on your pulsing clit, “You’ve got another one in you,” he says as you bite your lip and your eyes water slightly, “C’mon, baby, you can give me another, right?”
You nod your head, your lip tugged between your teeth, your legs still shaking. He doesn’t give you time to breathe, just continues to suck and lick on your clit like it’s what he was made for, and, before you know it, your eyes clench shut as you rapidly approach another orgasm.
Little whimpers leave your lips, and Spencer chuckles slightly, “My poor girl, so desperate for me. I can tell you’re getting close again, huh?”
“Yes, sir,” you whisper, and he speeds up his pace, your jaw dropping into a silent ‘o’.
He kisses your stomach, holding your shaking legs with his free hand, “Give it to me, Bun.”
And you release with reckless ambition, thighs flung open and a hand gripping the sheets for your life as a string of moans leaves your lips. Spencer removes his fingers and moves down to lick up your come, and you have no choice but to whimper. He smirks and pulls away from your cunt, placing his lips hot on your own, and you taste yourself.
“You’re so sweet, Bunny. Sweeter than candy,” he sighs, hands sliding down your chest.
You whimper, forcing your hands into his hair in another soul-crushing kiss, and he chuckles into it.
“Desperate for something?”
And you nod, one hand trailing down the front of his body, grabbing his dick covered by his pants and he groans.
“You want this cock, Baby?” He lifts off of you, sitting with his knees on either side of your body while he quickly undoes the top two buttons of his shirt before deeming it useless and pulling it over his head while your hands make quick work of his pants, pulling off his belt and tugging his pants and boxers down enough to free his aching cock.
You moan at the sight, immediately leaning forward to kiss his tip, before he pushes you back onto the bed.
“Another time, Bun,” he grumbles, “need to feel you around me.”
You moan, nodding and lining him up with your quivering pussy, and he pushes forward just slightly, enough for his tip to pop inside of you, and the groan that leaves his lips is pornographic.
“She’s so fuckin’ tight, baby, can feel her squeezing me.”
You whimper, “please! More!”
He chuckles darkly at your request, “yeah? You need something?”
You roll your hips forward, pushing him in a little further before he slaps the outside of your thigh harshly.
“Nuh uh, sweetheart. I’m gonna take my time with you.”
He emphasizes his words by pulling out slightly, and pushing back in, fucking you with just his tip, and a desperate gasp leaves your lips.
“Look at you,” he groans, continuing his torturous motions, “so desperate for my cock. Such a nasty little thing.”
And the thrusts harshly, abruptly sheathing his whole cock inside of you, and your head throws back.
He has the audacity to laugh at you, quickening his pace, each thrust hitting causing him to hit your cervix in a blissfully painful way, your eyes rolling back, begging for something. You're not quite sure what, though.
“So fucked out you can't think straight?” He coos, his pace never slowing, “if I knew this was all it took to shut you up I’d have done it a long time ago.”
And you whine at the thought.
He raises an eyebrow, “You like that idea, don't you, Bunny?” And you nod.
Suddenly, he pulls out completely, slapping your thigh again, “Roll over. Hands and knees.”
You quickly comply, supporting yourself on shaky arms and legs, and he trails a hand up your spine before pushing down, forcing your chest to the bed below you.
He groans as you arch your back, quickly pushing himself back inside your sopping cunt.,
“Such pretty holes you got here, baby,” he whispers, spitting onto your asshole as one of his thumbs spreads out the lubricant, causing your breath to hitch.
“Wanna fill both of them for you, can I do that?”
And you nod recklessly, your head bouncing against the pillows at the speed and power of his thrusts, and he takes your permission to push his thumb into your virgin ass, and the moan that rips through your throat is almost humiliating.
“You like being so full of me, don't you, Bunny?”
And you groan out, “yes! Fuck, I’m so close, Spencer!”
He laughs as your cunt starts quivering around his cock, his tip bullying that sweet spot inside of you.
“I know sweet thing, give it to me. Cum around my cock.”
With permission, you release around him, your pussy clenched around his dick and your ass squeezing his thumb, but he keeps fucking you through it.
His free hand laces through your hair, pulling your head back as you whimper in overstimulation.
“Take it,” he groans, mumbling more to himself as his cock twitches inside of you, “come on, take it like the dirty whore you are. Love having me fill both your nasty holes, fuck.”
His rhythm falters, and he thrusts one or two more times before spilling inside of you, fucking his seed deeper inside of you.
Once he calms down, he slowly removes his thumb before carefully pulling out of your pussy, and you whimper at the empty feeling.
“Stay here,” he whispers, kissing your hip before scrambling to the bathroom for a warm, damp washcloth.
He gently wipes you off, murmuring about how good you did for him, saying he’s proud of you before he helps you roll over onto your back.
He chuckles at the goofy smile on your lips, eyes tired and droopy, and he pushes the hair that had matted to your skin with sweat out of your face.
“You okay?” He asks, voice low, and you nod happily.
“‘M perfect.”
“Good,” he smiles, pulling the comforter over you and cuddling up to your spent body.
You lay in silence for a moment, happy and relaxed in his arms, before you speak up.
“So, you never hated me?”
“Jesus Christ, Bun,” he sighs exasperatedly, “go to sleep.”
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OBSESSED with this scene between them. 🥺🫶
Also, she is Sooo beautiful.
And side noteee - ezekiel out here calling his full ex-wife and mother of his adopted child and woman who he "will never stop loving" his friend. Bc you don't have to be one or the other - someone tell the spinoff showrunner.
I have to admit, though. It feels special. After all we’ve been through, as close as I came. I got a fresh start. And it was important to me that my friend know just how much I appreciate her. It must feel really really good.
#been in this fandom 3 months now and im finally starting to re-learn/feel I dont need to justify how I feel about minute aspects of the show#it seems like in this fandom if you seem like maybe you like carol too much or you dont hate ezekiel or connie or something something you..#get insta blocked by various people#i dont know if people in this fandom are just traumatised or what#but im new so I wasnt and I just did not know what was happening when I first joined#I've made friends now w people who have varying opinions on the show so now I know not everyone is like that#we dont have to auto assume we're at war 🙃#but when I first joined I had no reason to think bad of anyone and I went in super open but I honestly got bullied??#and you know who the worst people were for it#- the very people I got enticed to join the fandom by bc of their positive seemingly friendly attitudes and content#the way they made me feel was as bad as the anti-caryl fans that I think most people know about#but I definitely want to shout out to the friends ive made who have been able to stay more positive#positive doesnt mean toxic by any stretch but the most hurtful fans I've come across have claimed to be positive#please it definitely isnt everyone I just really trusted the people and the spaces I was in and that made it hurt so much worse#but I also found some lovely people in those same spaces#anyway clogging a post with drama tags that doesnt deserve them bc I want to say it but somewhere these people hopefully wont see it#they seem to hate that I love carol and enjoy her dynamic with ezekiel#please just let me be#shes just a baby and he loves her it ok#no I still dont like darabelle and thats ok too#yes shes nearly 60 and what#if you dont like it just dont read my posts please??#I would call it gatekeeping tbh
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(Okay, for some reason, the repost where I was talking about this just...disapeard?? So here I go. Again. I'm just going to post it as a separate thing.)
(Also, Warning, talking about child hood cancer, experimentation and torture, and the other general dark Logan or Wade things.)
Okay! So- obviously, with the timeline, it wouldn't work- but I can just change that because why not?
Imagine Wade being diagnosed with cancer at 8. He has chemo and some surgeries, then for a good 2 years he is cancer free. Of course, though, it comes back at around 11. There isn't anything they can do this time, though. The surgeries won't work, and chemo will only prolong the inevitable, so Wade has to accept his fate. His parents get approached by someone who promises to cure Wade, though. All they need to do is sign over their legal rights in regards to him, so that's what they do. Sure, they cured him, but only after years of being tortured and experimented on. Wade thinks his parents didn't know at the beginning, but after the first few months, he started to question if they knew what this place was. His parents had never been kind people, and Wade quickly decided his parents probably didn't care what happened when they signed that waver. He survives, though. He gets his mutation, and eventually, the X-Men manages to find the facility that has been doing this. He's glad all of the other kids have been saved and most of them reunited with their parents- he had looked after half of them in that hell hole so he feels responsible for making sure they are all save wherever they go- and he goes back to the school with the other kids who don't have a home to go back to or just don't want to go back home. It's weird to be a whole 17 years of age and not knowing how to function in the world. He knows how to survive, but that's about it. So, it's a struggle to settle into the mansion at first, but he quickly takes on the role of bigger brother to the younger kids. And yeah, he finds it hard to interact with the people his own age, too terrified to deal with the possible riddicule of how he looks.
Logan's been there awhile. He was found by the Professor after a few news articles popped up about some 'strange deaths' and he had investigated. No one at the school knows much about him- they know he lived in the woods for a year when he was 13, and that the Professor found him- but that's about it. Practically all the students avoid him like the plague in the halls and at meal times. It's not that Logan tries to talk to the others anyway, and he doesn't really want too. He's used to being a lone wolf. He keeps to himself, doesn't want to deal with others shit, and he plans to keep it that way. He's gonna leave this place as soon as he is 18 next year. He isn't even sure where he would go, but he refuses to join the X-Men. He can't bring himself too- to many accidents with the claws and panic attacks to be able to help people.
Naturally, Wade decides that Logan is the person he is going to befriend. Even if the idea of being judged terrifies him, he can't help but be interested in the quiet brooding bad boy.
#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#wade wilson#deadpool 3#deadclaws#deadpool#logan howlett#wade x logan#logan#wade winston wilson
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Hi! I've noticed that almost every post-s2 fic has some form of Crowley being heartbroken (drunk and/or sleeping usually). (Usually these fics also include Aziraphale having been wrong during the Final Fifteen and needing Crowley's help.)
Are there any post-s2 fics out there where Crowley *isn't* heartbroken? I'm hoping for ones where there's a secret plan and Crowley was headed on a covert mission at the end of s2, but anything where he isn't just falling apart would be great.
I do get a bit tired of seeing so many sad, drunk, heartbroken Crowley fics. Here are some where he is Not Like That...
Betrayal Stings Like a Serpent’s Bite by Inherently_human (G)
When the Supreme Archangel walks into the bookshop, he is shocked to still find his demon there. And he's singing and tidying, of all things. Guilt tears at Aziraphale, but Crowley reassures him of the only truth that matters: he trusts him.
Aziraphale vs. The System by gatoradeeh7x3 (T)
Crowley decides to take Nina and Maggie's advice and speak with Aziraphale following The Kiss. He proposes a one-month trial period as Aziraphale's second-in-command. Follow along as Aziraphale tackles the challenges of institutional reform while Crowley waits patiently for his angel to see reason.
Two sides of the same coin by Sylvestris123 (T)
After Aziraphale is recalled back to Heaven to become Supreme Archangel, Crowley tries to pick up his life. Before long they find themselves in the next battle to save the Earth - this time from the Second Coming and the Final War.
Deep Blue Sea (or: Crowley's Thoughts About Coastal Erosion) by Imagined (T)
Aziraphale looks at Crowley. Several complicated emotions cross over his face—his familiar, well-known face, and Crowley can precisely pinpoint everything that is going on with his brows and his lips and the pinching of his eyes, can read in the lines of Aziraphale’s expression the way he is working up to something— “Who are you again?” Aziraphale asks, and Crowley crashes like the wave against the rocks.
Five years after he left for Heaven, an angel plummets out of the sky, with no recollection of much of anything, really. While navigating his own complicated feelings, Crowley is left to wonder what happened to Aziraphale, and most notably… to figure out why their wings are turning grey.
A Light in the Dark by cyankelpie (T)
After leaving Crowley to return to Heaven, Aziraphale Falls, certain that no one will help him pick himself back up. Crowley proves him wrong.
On the Side of the World by profdanglais (M)
The demon Crowley has gone rogue. Precisely what “rogue” looks like on a demon who was never anyone’s idea of “manageable” is something neither Heaven nor Hell is currently equipped to deal with. Hell is rebuilding and Heaven, under the auspices of the Supreme Archangel Aziraphale, is focused on spreading the Word of their prophet, known as the Second Coming--of what, exactly, remains unspecified. Neither side seems to remember who Crowley used to be, nor have they bothered to change the passwords. The Metatron has no interest in demons, rogue or otherwise. His Plan is going swimmingly and he couldn't be more pleased. Now if only he could figure out who’s responsible for all these unauthorised miracles that just keep happening, far and wide, on planet Earth.
- Mod D
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nothing i don’t have | pjs (1)
pairings! park jongseong x reader, ft. huening kai x reader
summary! it was supposed to be simple, you and jay would fuck whenever either of you felt horny — no feelings. but it was hard not to catch feelings where park jongseong was involved. so you took the easy way out: you ended it.
genre! texts, written fic, college au, love triangle (corner)
word count! 1500
content warnings! swearing, jay is delulu and jealous
author's note! toenze is my new roman empire... i don't think i'll ever shut up about it. also realistically i'm only posting this bc yolo since i have nothing ???
masterlist | next
It didn’t affect Jay anyhow, really. That you ended whatever the two of you had for another guy. Like, this was all just casual. And you still wanted to be friends which was exactly what the two of you were before… so not much had to change between the two of you. Other than, well, the lack of physical intimacy.
He didn’t care, really. It wasn’t like you were the only girl he hooked up with (you were) or that he couldn’t get any other girls, but… you ending the situationship was kind of exactly why he liked you. Because you understood everything was casual and there were no expectations, no feelings. The others, they always got attached.
And, look, Jay understood that maybe he was being too nice or whatever, but it was in his nature to help out when necessary, or to cook for people in the morning — it wasn’t like he made breakfast only for those girls anyway. He had roommates to feed, too.
You ended the deal because you had no feelings for him. Which was exactly what he wanted. So why the fuck did it bother him so much? And for Huening Kai, no less? The tall emo kid that barely spoke and people thought he was being mysterious or whatever.
What could you possibly see in him?
What did he have that Jay didn’t?
Jay let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his hair, eyes still fixated on the conversation between you and him. So Huening Kai asked you out. And you liked him enough to say yes. That was certainly not on his bingo card. Realistically, he thought the type of guys you liked were someone like Sung Hanbin or Choi Soobin or… him. Not Huening Kai.
What the hell?
“What’s up? Someone steal your cat?” Heeseung entered the shared living room with a grin. Jay had to dryly laugh at the irony of his question since, in a way, yes.
“Nah. It’s Y/N,” Jay replied, trying to sound nonchalant. “Wants to be just friends.”
“Damn, got tired of you already?” Heeseung teased, but he knew not to go further when Jay’s scathing glare nearly burned him. “What did she say?”
“Huening Kai asked her out and she said yes.” Jay shook his head. You and Kai weren’t even dating yet, and you already wanted to be exclusive with him? Why? Who even does that?
“Oh, Kai? He’s got music classes with me,” Heeseung said with a grin. “He knows how to play like five instruments. He’s kinda cool. A band kid, too. Pretty sure he has a band.” Jay didn’t need to know any of that. Not yet anyway. And then Heeseung added: “I think he was planning to ask Y/N out for a while. I caught him asking around about her once.”
Jay clenched his jaw. How long had you been talking to Kai before he asked you out? Was it out of nowhere or did you befriend him before? Which gave him another reason to be upset because if you did befriend him before, you didn’t tell Jay anything. In fact, you hadn’t been telling him anything about yourself or your life for a while now.
Which stung.
“Kai’s a good guy. You should be happy for her.” Heeseung made a point, giving Jay a long, meaningful look. There was more he wanted to express, but chose to not push his limits.
Jay huffed.
Thinking about it, maybe he’d have actually preferred it if you were in love with him.
Upon entering the Sanctuary Café, you noticed that it was already packed. But you were instantly recognised by Taehyun, who greeted you with a bright smile and led you toward a table that was empty, save for your reservation. It was in front of the stage set up for live performances, and it occurred to you then that Kai’s surprise was very likely just that. He prepared a performance for you.
Your eyes widened as you stared at the stage. It had a full instrument set up for a band. Drums, bass, keyboard and an electric guitar. The sight of it made you think of Jay for a bit, but you shook your head and got rid of the thought.
This would be your first date with Kai. The boy who actually doesn’t only want to sleep with you, but also wants to do everything else that real relationships include. Like holding hands and hugging in public and being affectionate without being judged. (The things you wished you could’ve had from Jay.)
A group of three guys entered the stage, none of which were Huening Kai. They glanced toward your table every now and then with a knowing smile, though. You watched them set up their instruments — the guitarist, the bassist and keyboardist. But the drums were empty.
Because of course, he knew how to play the drums. He was a genius that never flaunted his skills, and the reality of it hit you just now. Huening Kai was a drummer — which was actually sexy as hell.
“Hello, everyone, welcome to the Sanctuary Café,” the guitarist spoke into the microphone with the largest smile. He had a cute dimple as well, and you thought he perfectly fit Kai — whenever he wasn’t closing in on himself. “I’m Kim Taerae, lead singer and guitarist of our band, Toenze. We’ve prepared a very special performance today because one of our members wants to dedicate it to a special girl.”
A round of awes went through the crowd. You looked around in hopes of catching a glance of Kai, but he was nowhere to be seen. Instead, your eyes locked with a person you did not expect to see today — at all.
Jay stood at the back of the café with Heeseung by his side, and you wished you could unsee him. Your heartbeat raced, and your mind felt like you needed to come up to him and apologise. But what would you even be apologising for?
“On my left is our bassist, Choi Beomgyu, and on the keyboard, you’ve got Han Yujin. And, of course, we’re missing a key member — the drummer,” Taerae spoke lightly, his smile hearable in his voice. “Some of you already know him from our previous performances, but for those who have yet to meet him — please give a round of applause to Huening Kai!”
Kai wasn’t even inside the café. He entered through the main door in a dark grey hoodie, the hood covering his face. The whole shop held its breath as he looked up. And when his eyes met yours, a smile spread across his lips. Taking off his hood, he revealed his face and carefully styled bangs.
From the pocket of his hoodie, he pulled out a bouquet, and when he aimed through the crowd toward you, your heart nearly melted. All thoughts of Jay being here, too, evaporated from your mind. All you could think about was Huening Kai, looking beautiful as ever, heading toward you with a bouquet of flowers.
“For you, my lady.” He knelt down to hand you the flowers, and you stared at him with wide eyes. Grinning, he winked before standing up and heading toward the stage, leaving you absolutely flustered and frozen in place.
“Hello, everyone! This performance is dedicated to the girl that didn’t reject me. It’s for you, Y/N,” he said into the mic jokingly, but there was a hidden meaning behind his words.
The memory of how he asked you out lingered, and you giggled. You could still picture him, approaching you with his hands hidden in the pockets of his jeans. And then he asked you, in the most embarrassing way possible, if you were dating Jay. The smile that spread on his lips when you said that what you had with Jay was only casual was an unforgettable sight, really.
“I can make you forget him,” was Kai’s closing argument, and the confidence with which he had said it sent shivers down your spine. You couldn’t possibly reject him then.
Jay’s glare was palpable. You could feel it at the back of your neck, but you ignored him. Why was he glaring at you anyway? If there were no feelings involved, he shouldn’t care about any of this.
“The first song we prepared for today is called Higher Than Heaven,” Taerae informed the crowd. “And the second song is Kill the Romeo. Hope you guys like them!”
Both songs were amazing, and both conveyed one pretty clear message: I’m better than him. You couldn’t help but laugh and enjoy yourself while Kai’s band performed. They were good — really good. And eventually, you even stopped sensing Jay’s gaze burning through you.
Naturally, you turned around to check on the spot where Jay had previously been. Except he wasn’t there. Instead, you were met with Heeseung, who shrugged when he noticed you looking at him.
“He left,” Heeseung mouthed.
#enhypen#enhypen fic#enhypen ff#enhypen x reader#park jongseong fic#park jongseong x reader#enhypen angst#enhypen fluff#park jongseong#enhypen jay#haia writes
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Last post on the entire date ticket thing and then I will forever shut up about it, but I feel like most people arguing in favor of the price tag are just….missing the point on why people are so angry about the date ticket being $30
I think the one thing we can all agree on right from the get go is that everyone in the staff deserve to and should be compensated fairly for their work. And that obviously includes certain features and items having to cost actual money considering the game itself is free
But the thing is, that $30 price tag doesn't just exist in a vacuum
First off, we can all agree that charging something like $3 would have made the ticket sell far better, right? Several people have already pointed out that they can buy a week's worth of groceries with $30 and depending on how much you earn, the date ticket isn't exactly something anyone can just buy on a whim. Again, $3 would have been far more affordable for most people, and I'm sure many more people (myself included) would have been far more willing to spend $3 just to see what the date ticket is like, and maybe also buy the tickets of multiple other characters. But $30 for a single date ticket is a luxury a lot of people just cannot afford, or would rather put into something else. Even if they lowered the price, they'd surely break even and make profit with how many players there are
And judging by its contents, I think it's fair to say that the date itself is not worth $30. And I feel like Solmare themselves know this because why else would they have bundled it with 300 DP? The only reason is to justify this price tag because "look at how much DP we're getting with it tho!!" when that's not the point. It doesn't matter whether the DP are included, because there is a lack of choice here. We have other options to earn and buy DP, but we don't have a choice when it comes to the date ticket itself. Either you pay $30, or you miss out on a feature that many of us have wanted for a while now. And since it's the DP raising the price tag,what you are essentially paying for is 300 DP with a date ticket as your purchase bonus, even though it should be the other way round
And honestly? Considering the price, the only two times it would make sense to buy this bundle is if you were already considering buying DP anyway, or if you are financially well enough off that the current price doesn't matter to you. You won't convince most casual spenders, and you most definitely will not convince a f2p player to pay for this feature
The other thing is that we had no idea what the date ticket actually entailed because we weren't given any information on it. Thanks to people in the community buying and reviewing this feature for others we now know that the date consists of one phone call, a ~10 minute long, partially voiced date story-line and a Majolish background. Except, those are things that Solmare themselves should have told us right as they announced this feature, ESPECIALLY considering the price point. If you don't, you can't complain if people are accusing your company of trying to rip its player base off and of being greedier than the Avatar of Greed himself. But also, that's the thing!
We shouldn't have people in the fandom be the ones to go out of their way to give us basic info on new features, or to even explain certain business decisions in the first place. That's the company's job. Yes, certain explanations should be a given (such as microtransactions existing so that the staff can be paid the money they obviously deserve), but there are other things that should have been explained by Solmare themselves
Open communication with the player base is the key phrase here, and imo Solmare has been doing worse and worse on that front as of late, resulting in several unexplained choices that just seem questionable at best and scummy at worst, as well as a player base that grows more and more disgruntled by the day. And that frustration within the player base shows in the amount of people dropping the game, as well as in the amount of money it's making
People are willing to put their time and money into something they deem a good, quality product with a justified price considering the content. If your player base isn't putting in the money you are expecting, then maybe you should listen to their feedback and re-examine your product instead of overcharging a feature because "look at this thing you're getting extra that no one asked to be included in the bundle in the first place"
Literally part of the reason LaDS has grown to be so successful in such a short amount of time is because they keep making adjustments based on player feedback, even on some minor things. I mean they literally pushed out an update to correct the color of one of the character's tongue in the newest card because people were complaining, like hello!! Imagine Solmare listening to complains as minor as this
Anyway, whether intentional or not, this entire thing just feels scummy, and that's the problem. The choice we have is either "pay 30 bucks per character or miss out on this feature entirely", the price is artificially inflated with the inclusion of DP that we have other ways of getting, romance is slowly fazed out of the story only to now be put behind a heft paywall, we weren't told what we are even paying for exactly in the first place, and there has been a severe lack of proper communication from Solmare that have soured the relationship to the game's fanbase and, most importantly in this context, their customers
No, companies aren't our friends. Yes, they need to make money. Yes, they should pay their employees fairly. And no, we as consumers shouldn't expect nor are we entitled to everything about the game being free because again, the people working on this game deserve to get paid fairly for all the work they put into it
However, people are still allowed to be critical of a company and its decisions, especially when they feel like they are getting ripped off. The 300 DP might soften the blow, but that doesn't stop everything that has happened before from being a slap in the face. That's why people are pissed right now, and honestly it's been a long time coming
#oh wow this turned out lengthy#i do want to say that i am genuinely happy for anyone that bought the ticket & enjoyed the date#but objectively speaking the ticket itself is not worth the $30#the main justification i've seen for the price being this high are the 300 dp & that the price is in line with the other dp prices#from akuzon. and like. guys.#at that point we are buying the dp & getting the *ticket* as a bonus. you are admitting to that yourselves with that line of argumentation#also lads mentioned because the devs listen to feedback hence people are more willing to spend money#anyway like i said i'm done with this topic now#i will return to the regular posts now (whatever those are at this point)#obey me
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Meet the Family 3
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Your boss needs a last-minute favour for the holidays.(petite!reader)
Characters: Lloyd Hansen
Note: I'm feeling very Little Lies about this.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.
Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖
"So this is the reason you missed Thanksgiving," a butter knife jabs in your direction as you poke at the white turkey meat; this? You look up then at Lloyd as he nearly chokes.
"Uh, yeah," he coughs behind his fist and swallows, "we were out of the country..."
"Yes, why would you bother to stay. No use in seeing your mother at the holidays, or the rest of your family," she reproaches.
"Mom," he groans.
"For ten years," William adds from his wife's side. "Now you show your face and you look as if you're eating rotten apples."
"No," Lloyd argues. "It's just... I'm busy and I don't get a lot of time away from work."
"We all have obligations," Gwenyth argues.
"Well, I took her away so I could propose," he explains as he presses his fork into the whipped potatoes. "And it worked out perfect, right? Cause now I can bring her to meet everyone."
Gwenyth hums flatly, "I suppose." She clicks her tongue and takes a healthy gulp of wine.
"So, Pixie," Lillian drawls from further down, "what do you do for work? Oh let me guess. A librarian?"
You don't let the suggestion bother you. You don't see it as an insult even if she says it like one. You shake your head.
"No, I--" you begin and Lloyd stomps your foot so you bite down on your voice.
"She is a corporate consultant. International corporation," he explains.
"Oh, wow, sounds busy," Gwenyth remarks.
"Yes, how will you have time for children?" Lillian challenges.
"I'm sure they'll find time to make them," Benson chortles over his snifter.
"Ben, please," William rebukes.
"We're focusing on the wedding before all that," Lloyd says.
You peer around as you chew your cheeks in frustration. You're annoyed by how they speak of you as if you're not even there, and so intimately. Yet, you don't have much to say for yourself. This whole facade is tiresome and you really don't care what they think about a made-up job. Or marriage, for that matter.
"That will be done with quickly," Gwenyth sniffs. "And she will need to quit that job if she wants to do her duty as your wife."
"I can handle a job and a husband," you blurt out.
The table quiets as if stunned that you can speak. You blink and Lloyd puts his fork down and touches your arm, "sweet pea--"
"I highly doubt you'd be marrying him for any other reason than that nest egg promised to him," Lillian scoffs. "You don't need to play a saint with us, darling. Marriage is a transaction in more ways than one; affection, money, sex--"
"Lilly," William warns and she laughs.
"Well?" She shrugs. "You do know, the wedding only guarantees a twenty percent payout. He needs an heir to get all of it." She pets her stomach smugly and smiles. "I can assure you it's well worth it. Once you meet Lorelai, you'll see."
"Oh? Maybe when you meet her, you'll consider being a mother too," Lloyd retorts.
"Excuse me?" Lillian snarls. "I love my daughter."
"Of course you so," he sneers. "I'm sure she feels all that love right now as she enjoys her turkey and carrots with the nanny."
"I can't have her around adults and alcohol. You can't possibly understand," she snaps. "And maybe it's better that you never do. I could never imagine you as a father, especially when you are such a child."
"Takes one to know one," Lloyd growls.
"Enough," William barks. "Both of you."
Ransom laughs loudly at the end of the table. Lloyd shifts and Lillian rolls her eyes. You sigh at your plate. You miss your family. For the first time in years, you truly miss them.
"What the hell are you laughing at, Hugh? The only reason you're here is because your grandpappy exiled you."
Linda gasps, "He's not exiled--"
"Oh, right, of course not, Lin, that's why you're here breaking bread with the peasants. That's what you called us at great grandmother's wake--"
"Lloyd, watch your mouth," William snarls. "Better yet, shut it."
Lloyd recoils in his chair and stiffens. His features sharpen then he lowers his chin and picks up his fork. His jaw is stone as he stirs the gravy into his potatoes. You wouldn't call him humbled, more whipped like a dog. These people make you feel something for him you never thought you could; sympathy.
"I don't care about money that much," you say. "It can't buy respect. Besides, I would never marry a man without a prenup. Whatever Lloyd has will remain his." You push your shoulders back as a yawn tickles in your throat. "At this point, he can keep you lot as well."
You stand up and take the cloth napkin from your lap. You fold it neatly, "Gwenyth, you can tell whoever cooked dinner that it was delicious. I appreciate you all having me but I'm going to go find a hotel and some peace." You step around the chair and push it into the table, "happy holidays."
You turn, your insides jittering. What are you doing? Where did that come from? You could say you're tired and not thinking straight, but honestly, you're just so repulsed by these people that your head could explode. They're lucky they only got a a few pieces of shrapnel.
You march out without looking back. Your cheeks tinge hotly with self-awareness. You've messed it all up. After years of harnessing your emotions under Hansen's thumb, you finally snapped. You blew it all.
"What she said," another chair scrapes as Lloyd speaks. "Mom, dad, good night."
You enter the hall and head for the entry way. You hear him beside you. You're still foggy with disbelief. It isn't until you sit to put on your boots that you notice Lloyd.
"I know, I'm done. Fired." You pull on your leather booties. "I'll take the severance and figure it out."
"I didn't say so," he says as he grabs a coat from the closet.
"Um..."
"You're completely right. We can't stay here. They're all a bunch of pricks and they wonder why I didn't come home for ten years," he pulls on his coat as he speaks. He pushes back his hair then smooths his mustache. "We're better off at the hotel. We'll sleep better there--"
"We? Lloyd, please. Stay with your family. I need space," you stand and reach past him for your jacket. "Besides, I booked a single queen and it's Christmas Eve."
"Queen's big enough. You're tiny--"
"Okay, no, no," you hiss. "It's not happening. Stay--"
"But I don't want to," he whines.
"Mr. Hansen," you say. "You're out of your mind."
"Well, after your blow up, I don't think I'm welcome," he puts his hand on his hip. "So this is your last chance to save your job. You made the mess, you clean it up."
"Me?" You exclaim.
He hushes you and step closer, "Pix, you already made a scene, let's not do the encore. I'm gonna grab my bags, alright?"
"You can't be serious." You say.
"Hey, I gotta play the loyal husband--"
"And why exactly is that necessary? Why couldn't you get one of those Tinder girls?"
"Woah, woah, come on, someone will hear you," he covers your mouth with his hand and you turn your face away with a blech. "Go warm up the car. We'll talk on the ride to the hotel."
You stare at him. He watches you, as uncertain as you've ever seen him. In the silence, you can hear the din in the other room.
"Always was such a baby," Lillian laughs venomously.
"He could've chosen someone without an iron spine," Gwenyth adds.
You grimace and throw your hands up, "fine, get your things."
"You're the best," he grabs your shoulders but before he can kiss you, you put your hand up to pinch his nose. He recoils and rubs the tip, "ow."
"No more of that," you say as you pull your keys out of your pocket. "Thank god I only had one glass of wine."
You stomp out the front door. The frigid winter air hits you like a bus. Once one even ground, the swirling snow flecks onto your shoulders and hair. Great, now you get to drive in the snow with an unwanted passenger.
You get in the driver seat and push the ignition. You turn on the heater and the heated seats. At least Hansen pays enough for the add-ons. Still, you’re not sure there’s any compensation equal to what you just went through.
You look over as the front door opens and closes. Lloyd rolls a giant suitcase with him, another smaller bag strapped on top, and a third in his other hand. You don’t move as you watch him descend the steps, easing the wheels over the edge one-by-one.
He comes down the long walk and jerks as his loafers slip on the icy pavement. It would be funny if you weren’t so damn exhausted. You steadies himself and continues on. You should get out and help him. You don’t.
You pop the trunk with the button. He loads in his bags as you check the rear view. He comes around the passenger side and pulls the door open. He lets out an obnoxious ‘brrrr’ as he drops into the seat next to you. You shift gears as he shuts the door.
“Ugh, I feel so much better getting out of there,” he says as he adjusts the seat, making room for his long legs.
“Why?”
“Um, why not? My family is the worst--”
“No, why did you drag me into this?” You ask as you lean into the wheel and squint over it. The dark, the snow, the unplowed roads, it’s like the universe can’t stop throwing you obstacles.
“You want the real answer or the nice answer?” He replies.
“Mr. Hansen,” you growl.
“Right, I had no other choice.”
“No other choice?” You repeat.
“Look, those long-legged beauties back home, they’re fun, but they don’t got much else going on. I needed someone who could play along,” he explains.
“Play along?”
“Yeah, I mean, you’re smart so--”
“I’m smart...”
“I wouldn’t hire you if you weren’t--”
“Jeez, wow, Mr. Hansen, thank you so much. You think I’m so smart, so you should know I’m smart enough to know better than to believe you. You think I’m desperate,” you turn slowly onto the next street. “You think I have nothing else going on.”
“No, that’s not--” he shifts in his seat.
“It’s exactly what you think,” you huff. “Well, I do. I have a flight in...” you pause and check the time on the dash, “five hours so when we get to the hotel, I’m going to sleep and you’re going to let me. Then I’m going to catch my flight and the curtain can be pulled on this whole theatre.”
“Your words, not mine. I don’t think you’re desperate.”
You don’t respond. You’re tired. He just can’t leave things alone. He always has to say something. You wonder if he was truly left to his own thoughts, if his head would combust.
“I’m actually impressed,” you says, “you held your own.”
“Sir,” you utter.
“It was good. Entertaining. I mean, all these years, you never once talked back to me but wow, that was... majestic, really. You didn’t even wait to see my mother’s face. Or my sister’s.”
“Your family is weird,” you blurt out. “Sorry, uh, I didn’t mean--”
“I mean, yeah, we probably are but I don’t really have anything to compare it to,” he says.
You nod. He has a point. Yet, while that horde of entitled brats might explain his personality, it can’t excuse it.
The hotel’s marquee shines like a beacon as you steer into the lot. You yawn and shut off the engine. You let yourself out and drag your feet around to the trunk. You take out your carry-on as Lloyd hovers at the other side.
“All of your stuff, out,” you say. “I’m going straight to the airport in the morning. Checkout is ten so as long your gone by then, I don’t care what you do.”
He’s quiet but he obeys. He takes his bags out and sets them on the ground. He pulls the rolling bag and slings his smallest bag on his shoulder. You snap the trunk shut and turn, shuffling across the icy tarmac.
You enter through the automatic doors and cross the desolate lobby. You check in with your ID but as you look for your credit card, Lloyd flicks his between his fingers and offers it up to the clerk.
“It’s on me,” he insists.
You won’t argue. You really don’t trust him to leave by checkout. As you head for the elevators, he takes a deep breath. He doesn’t speak until you’re behind the sliding doors of the compartment.
“You know, I’m still your boss so you can’t just order me around,” he says.
You glance over at him. “Right, won’t happen again, sir.”
“It could have been worse, you know? I could’ve actually had you come all the way out here just to drop off some gifts. If you think about it, you got a free dinner and some wine--”
“Yeah, it was a great time,” you say dryly. “Mr. Hansen, I’m too tired to lie any more. Tonight was one of the worst nights of my life so no, I don’t think it could be worse.”
The doors open and you stride out. You swipe the card at the door corresponding to the number written in the folio and let yourself in. He follows closely, nearly running over your heels with his suitcase.
You take your bag to the bed and take out the cotton pajamas stuffed inside just for tonight. You bring them with you into the bedroom, doing your best to ignore your guest. Lloyd wanders along the wall and finds his way to the mini fridge.
You’re in no rush to change, only to get to bed. You trade your dress and stockings for the cotton two-piece and emerge. You shove your bag and clothes beside the night table and slide under the blankets. You pull them up to your shoulders.
“They got wine, tequila, beer--”
“I’m going to sleep,” you insist.
“The alcohol will help.”
“No, it will make waking up even harder.”
“After tonight, I think you need a shot.”
“Mr. Hansen,” you grumble and cover your head.
“Fine, more for me.” He snickers.
You’re happy he can’t see the irritation on your face. You might just be better off to let him drink whatever. Eventually, he’ll have to pass out. At least, you can only hope he does.
#lloyd hansen#dark lloyd hansen#dark!lloyd hansen#lloyd hansen x reader#series#fic#dark fic#dark!fic#meet the family#the gray man
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hi maddie! could i request headcanons for oikawa and suna with a reader who has an rbf but also like squishy cheeks? bc that's what i have and i have a friend who rly likes to poke my cheeks and call me cute and ngl it makes me happy every time 🙈 ofc only if you want to write it!
JULIANA THIS IS SO CUTE.... tysm for the request i had sm fun writing it !!!!!
incl ; post time-skip , fluff , long distance (oikawa) , highschool relationship (oikawa) , intoxication (suna) , established relationships , chubby cheeks! reader , gn! reader chars; oikawa tooru , suna rintaro
oikawa tooru !
⋆ one of the reasons he was attracted to you visually was because of your cheeks!
⋆ he’s always touching/squishing them & talking about them
⋆ he thinks ur rbf is cute, he’ll poke your cheek to stop you from zoning out
⋆ he likes kissing your cheeks and feeling the soft skin against his lips
⋆ when he’s in argentina he misses them more than he can imagine
⋆˙⟡ —
‘long distance relationships don’t work,’
is what both of you had been told endlessly since tooru had decided to move to argentina. he would just dismiss it every time, but when tooru was finally alone on another continent, he couldn't shake the loneliness that gnawed at him every waking moment.
which is why he spent half his day on facetime with you, thirteen hours dedicated to watching you through the minuscule screen of his phone. the two of you would spend your time together in an oddly domestic way, sharing mundane moments, from cooking to cleaning. but in his heart, there was nothing more special than in the early midday when he’d watch you fall into slumber. he was captivated by the chubby skin he’d reminisced about & yearned to squeeze once again, watching delightfully as the puffy skin expanded and contracted with each breath.
so when you were finally in his grasp once again, and after copious amounts of hugs and kisses, he was spending a couple of minutes with his fingers kneading at the soft skin of your face in the cab, accompanied by you looking at him strangely. but the small smile he displayed absentmindedly made you comply.
it all rushes back to him once he sees you in his apartment, lazily flopping onto his bed and curling up in the sheets which smelt like him, blaming your exhaustion on jetlag, but he knows it’s more than that. he missed your warmth as well, after all.
his heart swells immensely once you’re wrapped up in his arms & sheets once again. tooru’s lips were slightly parted from amazement, watching with full admiration as you slept peacefully. tentatively, his fingers reached out to quench the thirst he withheld for the past years without you, tooru’s fingertips were found prodding and poking your cheeks once again.
it was soft & warm & so greatly replenishing to do once again, he was so enchanted. tooru sported flushed cheeks and a tired smile as he found sleep creeping up on him suddenly. but for the first time in a while, his heart felt at ease with you & his slender fingers engulfing your face.
suna rintaro !
⋆ pretends to not notice your cheeks but gets all dreamy when he sees them
⋆ he uses them as stress balls kinda.. when he gets tensed up he’ll grab your face and squish it LOL
⋆ he kinda has a rbf as well but makes fun of you for yours
⋆ when you’re sleeping he’ll take his time to kiss your cheeks gently (wants to make up for the time you’re awake and he doesn’t)
⋆ he melts a little when you pout and your cheeks get all puffed up…
⋆˙⟡ —
suna was a quiet lover, he didn’t like publicly showering you with gifts and praise, or even physical affection. he hated it, despised it even. he much preferred to convey his affection through small gestures, ones he knew that only you would notice. but of course, this would be thrown away once he’d inebriated, he’d practically been climbing on top of you as you nudged him towards the car.
his arm was lazily slung around your shoulder, bringing you closer to his alcohol tainted breath as you pushed him into your car. your movements displayed a hint of exhaustion, eyes still droopy as you flopped into the driver's seat yourself.
as you drove, suna sported an uncharacteristically soft smile, watching eagerly as you swiftly navigated the roads. there was this unseen elegance to you that only he could capture. he thinks you’re prettier when his eyes are a bit dazy and all he can make out properly is you.
you decide you kinda like him drunk when he’s whispering compliments into your ear while he’s hunched over your back as you open the door. he’s sweeter when he’s pressing drunk kisses against the expanse of your cheeks and neck. but ultimately, you were surprised when he tugged at the soft swells of your cheeks when you were busying yourself with wiping sweat off his brows.
“you’re pretty,” is what he mumbles against your skin, chapped lips brushing over flushed cheeks as you cradled his head, the other hand grasping onto the glass of water he hadn’t finished yet.
“thank you.” you muttered in reply, drained from not only the late hour it was but also his incessant and petulant behaviour was maddening when all you wanted to do was wrap yourself in thick duvets.
soon, suna’s tugging you towards the bedroom, his face red when he pushes you against the mattress and bodies you, earning a small groan from your throat which evokes a giggle from him. he shifts up to press his cheek against yours, which was uncommon for him.
you looked towards him quizically,
“just rest.” he mumbles, lips brushing over your cheeks and lips, “i wanna take care of you now.”
with that, his fingers found their way to the velvety swells of your face, offering you the comfort he somewhat deprived you of. he thought it was cute, the way you’d look up at him with tired, but albeit warm eyes as his fingers massaged into your skin, whispering praise into tired ears until you fell into a deep tranquil.
(can u tell i'm sleepy chat)
please like , reblog or follow if you enjoyed :p © heartmaddie all rights reserved. please do not repost my work
#🎐maddie writes#🎐love letters#🎐requests#🎐signed off by juliana#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x reader fluff#haikyuu headcannons#haikyuu drabbles#haikyuu#oikawa tooru x reader#oikawa tooru fluff#suna rintaro x reader fluff#suna rintaro x reader#suna rintaro fluff#oikawa tooru x reader fluff
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AHDJFJDHAHD YOU WRITE KINICH SO GOOD IMAGINE HIM i mean not imagine he IS mean yk.. he'd be soo mean to you.. yanking ur hair back and having u open ur mouth for him but still not letting you suck him..(mexican kinich pls?)
this is SUCH a difference from my last post ijbol,, anyways
fem reader + mexican/spanish speaking kin, oral (k!receiving), rough kinich, impact play, hair pulling, dacryphilia, mix of degradation and praise, teasing and edging and hes just so mean
“be patient, princesa. what do i always say about patience?”
“slow and steady does it,,”
“that’s right mami, such a smart girl. now keep that mouth open f’me.”
kinich held your head back by your hair, pulled away from his so obviously aching cock when the tip was so close to your mouth and you wanted nothing more than to suck him off.
“you’ll get what you want mami don’t worry, just be a good girl and wait.”
he was so sweet, it almost overrides the near primal grip of his hand laced in your hair. he relished in the way tears flowed down your cheeks in wait, makeup messier than when he first got his claws on you.
really, he had no reason for this other than the simple fact that kinich liked to,, experiment with you. he wanted to see what made you tick, exactly what buttons to push before you were plain sobbing and begging for just a sliver of his touch. he kept his own need in check, want hidden behind the soft — but increasing slowly — rise and fall of his chest.
“you look rather desperate hermosa. you seem to want this more than i do, is that right mami?”
he loved to embarrass you in front of yourself, make you admit things that you’d usually never be bold enough to say.
when you stayed silent apart from the smallest of whines, he brought his spare hand up to cup the other side of your face. silken hands slowly moving from your jaw and sliding to the back of your neck, still soft as it laced into your hair and pulled you just a bit closer — not nearly close enough.
he felt the way you leaned into the touch, eyes doe as you looked up at him and pouted. that gentle hand was quick to match the other in terms of tone, pulling from your neck to smack the side of your cheek. light, but hard enough to leave the smallest and sweetest of stings.
“c’mon princesa, i asked you a question. don’t make me repeat myself, or you’ll have to wait even longer.”
the irony of him demanding an answer from you so impatiently while making you wait to just please him would’ve been laughable had the two of you been in a different situation, but alas.
“y-yes, i do,”
he seemed dissatisfied with such a small answer, so much so that it warranted your second slap of the night.
“be specific mami, tell me what you want. mess up again and you won’t get it.”
he was mean, bordering cruel. but really, could you blame him? he loved to see you cry and beg for him, how youre so put together look and attitude is so easily messed up and ruined when he gets his hands on you or simply tells you know.
“please, i wanna suck you off, kin,”
he absolutely adores the way you beg for him, how you look up at him with those pretty eyes and how your lips curl even more into a soft pout as you embarrass yourself below him. he drinks up the sight, almost drunk off it as he releases the hold on your hair and switches it to glide his fingers through the back of your neck.
“as you wish, princesa. what kind of man would i be if i denied you what you wanted so badly, hm?”
the way you didn’t even wait a second to take him into your mouth had him reeling, groans slipping through his lips but it wasn’t like he was trying to hide them.
“fuck- good fucking girl, thats it. so eager, so nasty all for me, yeah?”
he feels the vibrations of your hummed out response course through his dick so beautifully, sending electricity through his veins and causing his head to lean back and his breath to catch in his throat. you were so relentless with him, so desperate after waiting for so so long just for a taste of him.
he could feel his impending orgasm, inevitable it seemed as you pushed all the right buttons as soon as you got your hands on him. however, he knew he had to wait. after all, slow and steady does it, and the night was still young as never.
this is so late but #fuckitweball and mi cumpleaños es en tres dias!!
#genshin impact#genshin smut#kinich smut#kinich x reader#kinich genshin#kinich x reader smut#genshin x reader
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Trafalgar D. Water Law; Ideal Type Deep Dive
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The first thing that comes to my mind is that audio - “ I need to find my darling husband!” “What do you see in that guy?” “He makes me laugh.”
Law absolutely needs to be with someone who can make him laugh.
Throughout the post time skip arcs, it has been shown that Law -
Has a fear surrounding accepting and giving love
Believes that there must be a reason for earning love/giving love to someone
Law’s character had the most development in Dressrosa and Wano that could propel him towards healing with the defeat of Doflamingo, the revenge of Corazon’s death, and the closure statement that Sengoku says to him: “Don’t try to find a reason for someone’s love.”
Law has to heal first, or have a partner that will help him heal. To me, Law wouldn’t even think of committing to a relationship until the end of Dressrosa/Wano.
Law surrounds himself with goofy people, so it makes sense for him to fall for a goofy person.
This person would probably be on his crew as his trust issues wouldn’t allow for him falling for someone that has other loyalties that could easily be prioritized over him and end up betraying him.
Law is strict about subordinate dynamics, which is why you being on his crew may also hinder him from wanting to pursue something with you because he’s supposed to be your boss essentially.
Law would want someone that is smart, textbook smart like he is, but I also see this not being important if he truly runs into the ‘one’ that brings him the most peace.
I mean by that if you can’t hold and add to a conversation about idk the anatomy of the human body and the effects of a certain ailment, you’re not totally disqualified from his radar.
Someone who could hold emotional conversations with him is good. Even if he probably wouldn’t want the conversation. He’s kinda icky with feelings. Someone that could tell him how he feels, how they feel, and how that changes the context of whatever situation they are in. He needs someone like that.
I used to be opposed to the thought, but I believe Law needs someone truly soft. That means you could still fight if needed, but would rather not yk. It’s okay if you’re not out here swinging a machete trying to bloody the streets with your foes. That aspect of humanity that you have is something Law needs more prevalently in his life.
I remember reading an analysis of Law’s type and the creator said something similar to “Law needs someone who wouldn’t pull the trigger, just like Corazon didn’t.” I don’t know how much I agree with it but I think it’s worth mentioning.
Someone patient, but stubborn. Someone who is willing to wait for him to be ready to accept his feelings and won’t leave him when he makes a mistake (trust me he will make many mistakes in a relationship). Someone who also won’t be an idle figure in situations, you have an opinion and will voice it even if it doesn’t agree with Law’s perspective. You think the crew should help him on something rather than wait on the submarine and him go off alone? Tell him and make him listen, even if he shuts you down.
Law needs someone positive that can look at things with a glass half full mindset. Someone who looks at the rain and thinks about how the plants are getting water, someone who watches the snow fall but are commenting about how Penguin and Sachi are making snow angles and Bepo is really comfortable in the temperature. You even out his pessimism and bring light.
You’d have to get along with the other crew mates, especially Bepo too. Bepo is so important to Law, and if Bepo didn’t like you it already taints Law’s image of you.
You were always kind to him. Even before he invited you onto his crew, he identified your nature and could make a note about how you’re different from the majority of people he’s met.
Preferably, you’d be goofy, but not too loud. I feel like Law gets uncomfortable around those that are crazy extroverted- kinda like Luffy. Sometimes it reminds him too much of the Donquixote Pirates with all their flamboyance. That doesn’t mean if you have this quality you’d be off the list, he would just need it in smaller chunks or around the crew to be acclimated to it.
Grr, someone that ends up reminding him of Rosinante. Someone that Law knows is just a good person, regardless of their past.
If he asked you “why do you love me?” And you couldn’t give him an answer, you’re perfect.
He needs someone to be his safe space. Someone that could sit in his office while he works, content in the shared silence. Someone that he could ramble about his coin collection to without the worry of being judged. Someone that he could let touch his chest and have them run their fingers through his hair without worry that he’ll be harmed. Someone that will soothe him after he has a nightmare or read out loud to him until he falls asleep.
Someone that cares for him- this loops back to the stubbornness. Someone that tries to make him go to sleep, to make him eat, to make him take breaks from working. To make him live happily, something that he’s starved himself of truly ever since he was 10. He prolly won’t act like it, but you showing you care for him makes his heart bleed suffocatingly.
Someone that can show him how to love again and what it feels like to love again omg. The destruction of Flevance and the manipulation of the Donquixote Pirates so cruelly changed his perception of love.
Law wouldn’t want you to be a big shot in canon. If your bounty was rather substantial compared to his crew and him, or you had a crazy ability- it would make him worry awfully. He’d probably try to keep you out of harms way even more than he does with the rest of his crew.
Someone he can tell everything to and trust that they’ll keep it a secret.
Someone that likes the cold, likes the ocean. Living on a submarine as a pirate kinda requires this lol.
Omg imagine you’re from the North Blue too. He picks you up around the same time he does Penguin, Sachi, and Bepo. You’re one of the original members. The connection I feel like he would have with you would make him more willing to fall for you…
I feel like Law would like someone with longer hair. If he could watch them brush it, curl it around his finger, watch them create a hairstyle for the day. Small acts of domesticity in life.
Someone with large, doe eyes. He can see so much emotion through them, they hold so much weight. It reminds him of Bepo. (lol)
Someone aware of their own emotions and are in tune with their wants and needs.
I feel like he would fluster really easily if you had a gummy smile. Yk those big, pure smiles where the gums showed. When your eyes crinkly and your teeth are bared so naturally and without malice. It’s so beautiful to see.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
He’s so broken
Mwah 😽
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