#and for the past several hours they've just been shit

[wishful-sinful-9]

YOU WANT IT DARKER

Logan Howlett x Reader

MASTERLIST

cw: stalkerish!logan, kidnapping, kinda dubcon, smut, piv, oral (f receiving), biting, hair pulling, body worship, overstimulation, just feral sex, both parties are a little unhinged, reader has no sense of survival instinct bless her

halloween special (better late than never) 🐺

Was this karma? Had you been some sort of puppy-kicking throat-slashing cold-hearted bitch in a past life? Are you being bit in the ass for it? Or had the universe just singled you out at some point to be an object of constant torment?

You'd thought a small town in the mountains was just what you needed: peace and quiet, beautiful landscapes, charming locals. The reality was freezing temperatures as early as September, and elderly neighbours that are just as frosty to the strange young newcomer. Two months in, you could no longer take the loneliness - life became a little brighter when you adopted your fiercely loyal, and almost terrifyingly giant, doberman you named (aptly, in your opinion) Baby.

And then you left the Goddamn back gate open.

Miles of forest stretch up the mountainside behind your house. You've been trudging through the dense woods for hours, voice hoarse from calling for your dear Baby. A whisper in the back of your mind tells you it's a lost cause; he must have gotten too far to find his way back, and God knows the predators lurking in these shadows willing to attack him. These shadows that are getting deeper with each passing minute.

A shiver runs through you, in spite of your thick scarf and fur-lined coat. You scan the surrounding trees as you realise that it's getting harder to see past them.

That's when you halt abruptly.

You have no idea where you are.

-

Right and wrong blurs into eachother sometimes for Logan. He's been alone for so long, and his instincts are so loud, he can't fight these strange animal tendencies that claw into him every so often.

And you, well you didn't help him at all.

Why the fuck would a pretty young woman like you be doing living round here? Walking around his forest every damn day, with that hound that you love so deeply, even though it could easily wrench its lead from your grip or bite your arm clean off with one snap of its wolfish jaws. Of course, he knows it would never do such a thing - it loves you like all dogs love their owners, unconditionally and obsessively and devotedly. It loves you like how he'd love you.

Picking a spot in the shadows and watching you pass by was one thing. Beginning to follow you on your route, all the way back to your home though - his conscience was beginning to blink its red warning lights.

Yet every time he indulges in his guilty pleasures, those lights fade a little more.

He doesn't notice they've gone completely black when he sees you presently, stood shivering in the depths of the forest. Lost.

Your dog blinks up at him, eyes bright and tongue lolling. Excited to introduce you to his new friend.

-

The darkness of the encroaching night, the cruel icy wind, and the severity of your situation is all forgotten when your blessed Baby appears like an angel from the shadows.

“Baby! Oh, my God, Baby,” you sob, kneeling as he runs to you with a furiously wagging tail. “Where have you been, boy? Where the hell have you been?”

You unwind the leash from where you'd knotted it and clipped it to your belt loop and reach for Baby's collar. He twists, not with any fear or violence, out of your grip in an instant. You frown. He hasn't done that before.

He trots over to where he had appeared from, glancing back and stopping, encouraging you to follow.

You step forward, “What are you..”

He returns to shepherd you to his desired direction. You do so, praying that once he's successfully shown you whatever impressive stick or pinecone it is that you can finally go home.

You trudge after your dog for a few more minutes before deciding you've had enough. “C'mon, pup, let's go home. Aren't you hungry? Eh, boy? Want some- shit!”

Baby sprints off suddenly, lightning-fast.

Your feet move before you can think. You're far too exhausted for this chase, but you are not going to lose him again. You shout after him as you sprint through the darkness.

You break through the trees and find yourself skidding to a stop - in front of you, there is a black iron gate.

Beyond it, a gravel drive leads to a shadowed, decrepit manor house, lit only by the full moon above. You don't have time to wonder why there was ever a house built this deep into the wilderness, because Baby's running straight to the open door.

-

He pets the dog idly, knowing you'll soon follow. It licks his palm.

The scent of roses, your perfume, strengthens as he hears the stumbling of your hiking boots at the entrance. The dog barks, and you follow the sound.

You burst into the living room, eyes wild when they meet his own.

Got you.

-

His dark eyes are unsettlingly wide as he stares you down.

The man whose home you've just broken into is unlike any around here; considerably younger than the elderly folk in town, perhaps in his thirties. Beyond that, there's something abnormal about him: he towers over you, huge in stature and wide with muscle. And one of his terrifyingly huge hands is petting your dog.

“I am so, so sorry sir,” you stammer stupidly, taking a wobbly step back. “He just - ran off - he never does it I swear, I'll get out of your- Baby, Baby, c'mere.”

He doesn't move.

You tremble as you contemplate grabbing him by the collar. But you can't seem to bring yourself to move towards this man.

“Baby, please-”

The man says your name.

Your blood runs cold. You bring your gaze to his, slow with terror. Another step back.

You could cry when Baby finally moves away from him, only to be further horrified when you beloved protector only does so to get behind your legs and usher you towards the man. The strange man who somehow knows your name.

You lurch forward at a hard nudge of Baby's head against your calf - into his arms. Strong, large arms that wrap around you tightly. Shit. Oh shit.

You shriek, attempting to wriggle free, but the man holds you to him tighter. He removes one arm, keeping you there solidly still with the other, and curls his fingers into a fist.

And three knife-sharp metal claws unsheath from his knuckles.

Your fighting ceases immediately. He doesn't hold them to you in threat, merely displays them in warning: Don't. Even. Try.

They disappear back into his hand and he brings his lips to your ear.

“You ain't going nowhere, sweetheart.”

-

It would've been a nice room, once. A canopy bed in the centre, a velvet loveseat at the foot of it, and a large window stretching across the far wall. Only now, the canopy's sheer curtains are torn, the colour of the seat's fabric faded, and the window completely boarded up.

The only source of light is a lone candle on the dresser. You pace in its dim light, shaking like a leaf, gasping short, panicked breaths.

He'd picked you up as if you'd weighed nothing at all and deposited you in this room, locking it and ignoring how you banged and screamed and shouted at the door. It didn't take long before you'd exhausted yourself and resorted to desperately racking your brain for means of escape.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

You sink to the floor with your head in your hands. Hiccupy sobs escape your lips, eyes sore from crying.

A gentle click of the door opening alerts you of his presence.

“I'm not gonna hurt you.”

As he lingers in the doorframe, even bigger from where you're crumpled on the floor, you find it hard to believe. Your breathing speeds up again.

In a stride, he's kneeling beside you. You jerk away with a cry as he tries to reach for your wrist.

His hand curls around your chin and brings your tear-stained, crazed face to his. The wildness in his eyes before was gone - there's a shocking earnestness in them now, as if he hadn't just used your only companion against you in luring you into his home.

“Deep breath in,” he murmurs.

What?

“Deep breath in, I said. Do it, girl.”

For some bizarre reason, you do it - drawing in a deep, shaky breath and holding it.

“Now out.”

You exhale.

“Again - in,” you do, “out.”

You can't shake the feeling that you're in some absurd dream as you repeat the process with your abducter until your breathing returns to normal.

He retracts his hand from your face and with a weak voice you whimper, “Who are you?”

“Logan.” He grunts.

“What do you want?”

He gazes at you for a long moment. When he responds, you detect a tremble in that baritone voice: “I've been alone for so. Damn. Long. Then you came along, into my woods, into my head, and now I'm losing it.”

His words send chills racing down your spine. Had he been watching you?

“It's like this instinct. This animalistic urge, that makes me want to keep you here - where I can keep you safe, keep you with me-”

“You're a mutant,” you rasp. He nods. “My parents always told me to stay away from... your people.”

“They aren't my people. I'm alone.” You flinch at the sharp edge to his tone.

He raises himself from the floor, looming over you again. You cower under his shadow.

“Well,” he grunts, “not anymore, I suppose.”

He locks the door behind him.

-

You don't know how many days have passed since Logan first took you.

It was only the day after that fateful night that he unlocked your room, under strict order to not leave the house. His only other kindness was to get some clothes for you from your house. You hadn't given him the keys.

Baby is your only comfort, as he curls up beside you at night for warmth. Even still, he seems to have developed some sort of bond with your captor, and is unwilling to be the guard dog you'd have assumed he would be in a situation such as this.

You've taken to slinking about in the shadows, rarely directly coming in contact with Logan; instead, you observe him.

His mutant abilities are not limited to the claws; from what you've gathered, he has some sort of heightened sense of smell and hearing. You know it would be foolish to try and escape because he'd sniff the nerves on you in an instant.

He feeds you mostly meat, which you pick at with little appetite.

It's those minor interactions, when he hands you your meal, that you ponder over throughout the long, cold days and nights. Had he lingered for longer to watch you eat? Did his fingers graze yours when he passed you the plate?

It soon came apparent to you, that this ominous, claw-bearing creature was no more than a man in isolation.

In a largely anti-mutant society, it's push everyone away, or be shunned and hurt. In this world, he's abnormal. Dangerous. A monster.

And you want to crawl into his skin and find what he is really: man or beast?

-

His ears prick at the shuffle of your feet. No matter how often he hears you move about, you never fail to excite his paranoia.

But you never do run, or lash out, or panic. You just remain in the darkness, watching.

In truth, he regrets doing this to you. It was the primal part of his brain eating the rational, and now you were constantly in his proximity, the animal had calmed itself and the human had settled in. Still, he could not bring himself to set you free. Not until he'd figured out how to get himself back to how he'd used to be.

Click.

He froze.

The door. You were at the door.

He set his beer bottle down hard on the table, a warning. He was there. He'd know if you were escaping.

The smell of fresh night air leaks into his nostrils, and he stalks over to the foyer.

You're halfway out the door - staring at him.

For a heartbeat, you keep his furrowed gaze, heart rabbiting in your chest. Then you bolt.

-

You barely make it to the gate before rough hands slam you backwards into his chest.

You don't struggle. You just pant in his hold.

A long, terrible moment of silence passes that makes you doubt your confidence in emerging from this situation unharmed. When he finally speaks, his lips brush the shell of your ear.

“What. Was. That.”

You squeak, “I wanted to see if you'd go after me.”

You're flung over his shoulder and marched straight back to the house.

He dumps you on the tattered armchair by the fireplace, and leans over you - gripping each arm of the chair to cage you in. His eyes are as dark as you've ever seen them.

“You have your answer,” he growls.

“Logan I-”

“Now I want to find out mine.”

You press yourself back into the chair. “Answer to what?”

“Why did that turn you on?”

Your mouth runs dry and your cheeks are ablaze. You shake your head furiously, refusing to meet his eye. “I don't know what.. Uhm..”

One hand is no longer on the chair, instead it's on your cheek. Forcing you to look at him.

Wordlessly, he drops his hand... and shoves it down your pants instead. It's then that it hits you: that heightened sense of smell of his can detect arousal too.

A thick finger runs through your folds, gathering the slick sticking to your panties.

“Logan-”

“You are turned on.”

He sounds almost a little incredulous, as he pulls out his hand and studies how your arousal shines in the milky moonlight, coating his fingertips.

You make a little noise of embarrassment, and it turns his attention back to you. Wide-eyed, flushed, lips slightly parted. And a switch flips.

He grasps the back of your head to meet him halfway as he crushes his lips against yours. Bruising, but for some reason, addicting.

You moan slightly, opening your mouth to encourage his tongue and it makes his mind blur.

He tears away after a minute, and, operating as if possessed, rips your pants open.

You gasp, but have no time to reconsider: your panties are torn clean off too, and a finger is curling deep inside you.

Your wails prompt him to try another, his thumb circling your clit, the pads of his fingers pressing against the spot that makes your eyes roll. You can barely gasp his name, so overwhelmed and lost in pleasure.

It's not enough. He needs to taste you.

You almost scream when his mouth replaces his thumb, sucking desperately on your clit. He laps at you with such animalistic intent, the haze in your mind lets through one paralysing thought: how does he fuck?

The pressure builds in a way you've never experienced before - so quick and heavy, like a tidal wave, and when you cum he almost ruins his pants along with you. The sheen of sweat over your face, your heaving chest, that sweet white release trickling down his palm. More.

Your hand flies into his hair as his fingers begin to move again and his mouth is somehow faster and needier than before.

“L-Logan I can't-”

He groans gutterally as he pulls away for a second to spread your juices over your throbbing flesh, already swollen. When he dives in again, you just grip his hair for dear life.

The next orgasm has your thighs clamping tightly around his head, but he simply prys them apart again. You tug at his hair and he finally breaks away to kiss you hard.

You taste yourself on his tongue.

He doesn't let up until you're both in desperate need of air, and you take the opportunity to strip off your top and bra. His hands, shaking you realise, come up to cup your tits gently, his eyes greedily savouring the sight.

“Beautiful..perfect..let me fuck you.” He gazes in your eyes with such desperation, you lean forward to cup his face and kiss his nose.

“Anything, anything for you, Logan.”

-

You don't give a damn about that rug burning against your back. Not when he's so deep inside you, you swear you can feel him in your throat.

“Sweet girl,” he sucks into the juncture of your neck and shoulder. “Take me so well, does it hurt?”

“Mm-mm,” you hum, eyes welling with tears of overstimulation. “Just move. Fuck me, Logan-”

He lifts your knees, pressing the backs of your thighs to your chest, and slams into you over and over at an unrelenting pace. Your mouth hangs agape, crying for the pleasure. It's as if the beast in him has bled into your skin, making you want him closer, deeper, faster. You claw at his shoulders. He leans down to nip and nuzzle at your jaw and neck, but your lips only move to moan.

“I can feel you - so tight - cum for me, sweetheart,” he grunts out, “cum all over my cock.”

You do as he wishes with a scream of his name.

He watches the sticky mess where his dick meets your cunt grow with your latest release, and he wants even more.

You're too dumb to register how he hasn't cum yet, but is pulling out of you. You let him manhandle you with ease until you're on your front, cheek against the floor while Logan grips your hips to keep your ass up.

Like this, he can better watch it all drip out of you.

You let out a little whine, eyes fluttering shut as you're sure he just wants a final look. You jolt as you suddenly feel his tongue thrust into your hole and curl. “No more-”

You shiver at the obnoxious wet sounds of him licking up the mess between your thighs, pushing back against his face despite yourself. You breathe out a sigh of relief when he pulls away - then you feel the head of his cock notch against your entrance.

With the last of your deteriorating strength, you try your best to crawl away from his sloppy thrusts.

“I'm not done,” he growls, pulling you back onto his cock and pounding you harder. You give in, eyes rolling, back arching, front pressed to the floor once more.

“Give it to me.”

You can't.

“C'mon.”

He reaches round to rub your clit in mean circles.

“Let go.”

You cry, and clench so hard around him it feels as if your pussy is pulling him in.

You gush around him, and his hips stutter as he approaches his own release. You press back as you feel him try to slip out - “Inside me, Lo, fill m' up..”

With a shout, he cums deep inside you, only pulling out once completely milked dry. He groans at the sight of your twitching thighs, and the creamy mess leaking from your cunt. He pushes it back in before standing.

You're a sticky, panting, fucked-out thing when he gathers you in his arms, pressing his lips to your hairline.

“Can I keep you?” he grins down at you, the first time you've seen him smile. You beam and kiss his cheek.

“Keep me forever.”

a/n: this has not been well edited but I hope you enjoyed nonetheless! I've had a bit of writers block but the first part of the knight!au and the bbf!peter oneshot is on its way, slowly lmao

[rhettsabbotts]

[ Had a thought. Word vomited to @fitzjamesbulletwound. Had a breakdown. Here ya go. 🫡 ]

joplittle having a fight. 👍😃👍

after everything, they live together, are together. I don't know what the fight is about. Probably something stupid and small and meaningless.

But they both get... moody, sometimes. Understandably. And Thomas is always so cutting with his words. And Ned's never been good with his words, especially without thinking. So he tries to walk away. Probably just sighs "Tom" after he says something mean. And Edward moves to the door and Thomas says,

"oh yeah. There you go. Leave. Like you always do." And Ned fucking FREEZES. like, hand white knuckled on the door frozen. His shoulders tight. And Thomas hates himself immediately after he says it.

They've talked about what happened. At length. Have gotten past it. Accepted it. And Ned came back, with help. And he watches Ned's shoulders shake once, and then he turns, his eyes are full of tears and he's clearly biting his lip to keep it from trembling.

Tom goes to reach out to him. And Ned fucking flinches. He doesn't leave. Takes his hand off the door. But he goes into their bedroom. Their bedroom. And locks the door.

And Tom feels like shit. Because he couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut. Had to go too far. Had to win the stupid argument instead of letting Ned leave and collect himself so he could come back and talk it through.

Because Ned, he comes back. He always comes back. Thomas learned that quickly, in some very hard ways.

He probably sits against the door for ages. Asking Ned to open the door for him. Begs him. And maybe like, several hours later he hears the lock click.

By the time he manages to get back to his feet and open the door, Ned is already back in bed. Laying with his face away from Tom. Curled in a tight ball under the covers.

In just his night shirt probably, his hair is a mess already. Anytime his head touches a pillow it's instant bedhead. Tom lives for smoothing his hair down for him.

He probably undresses too and climbs into bed with him, curls himself around Ned, even though he tries to shrug him off. And presses kisses into his hair and neck as he apologizes over and over and over. Maybe eventually just laying there, nose pressed against the back of Ned's neck and he whispers.

"I'm so sorry love, come back to me. Please." And his voice breaks. And then Ned is crying, but he turns in Tom's arms and snuggles up under his chin and just lets Tom keep holding him. And Ned probably mumbles,

"i'm sorry." into Tom's now damp shirt. And Tom just shakes his head and pulls him closer and is like,

"you've nothing to be sorry for. I was being ridiculous." And he soothes at Ned's hair, Ned mumbling back,

"we both were." And Tom laughs, small and tight, but genuine. And then Ned says,

"I'll always come back to you." Whispers it into Tom's throat, his lips warm against the skin there. And Tom sobs, squeezes Ned tight and just says,

"i know. I know that. I do." Over and over as they hold each other. The fight completely forgotten, whatever it was even about. Thomas doesn't remember. Doesn't care. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that he has Edward. And always will.

[si11y-kitty-me0wz]

Did a lil bit of writing inspired by @seaweedmakesart 's post!

This is based on the first half of the post, I'll be writing a lil something about the second half soon!

In advance I apologise if its a bit shit, I've been super tired lately

It's been almost a year since deadpool and wolverine saved the world, almost a year since logan moved into the tiny crack shack that blind Al and wade call home.

They've had their ups and downs over this past year, multiple fights that ended in a strict no bloodshed in the houserule (made by al since she's sick of waking up to the scent of blood and often times slipping on it) but there's no denying, wade and logan have some chemistry. The two became official about two months and several hookups into logan staying there.

Wade makes logan feel a little less alone in this hell hole, like maybe he doesn't have to hide his nature? And logan makes wade feel like he has a purpose again, that maybe it isn't that bad?

Moving on.

Wade wakes up to the sound of running water, logan is having one of his freezing cold showers again. Groggily wade sits up and shrugs off at least three different blankets and heads to the bathroom to piss and maybe get lucky and join logans shower.

Opening the bathroom door with a yawn and a small smile wade greets logan while walking to the toilet

"Mornin peanut"

Logans by now already used to wades inturuptions while he's showering, but he doesn't care I mean the man had spent well over an hour the night before kissing every single part of logan, why would he care?

"Mornin"

Logan replies, much more awake than wade is. Wade flushes the toilet and begins to take off the pair of logans sweats he had stolen the night before. He shamelessly stares at logan, the way water glides over his toned chest dripping down his muscles, it's quite a nice view.

"Mind if I join?"

Wade asks even though he's already stripped and stepping under the ice cold water.

One thing about logan is that he takes freezing cold showers and one thing about wade is he HATES cold water. cold water only ever reminds him of his past, the torture he had endured, the times he had been locked in a cage and hosed down naked, the days he would spend locked in a metal bath filled with ice water. In his sleepy state wade hadn't realised there was no heat or steam, he tenses up immediately, his face showing clear panic as he steps under the cold water. He instantly tries to get away from it, squirming and all but pushing the water away. Although his attempts are useless as all he ends up doing is slipping.

One of logans strong arms wrap around wade, holding him steady.

"Hey hey, steady, what's wrong bub?"

Logan asks, concern etched on his features and clear in his tone.

"Heat"

Wade manages to say, on the verge of a panic attack.

"Turn the heat up, please."

He all but begs. Logan dose exactly that, still confused about wades reaction.

"It's just some cold water, did it shock ya?"

He asks, trying to make sense of wades reaction. He decides to hold back any teasing sensing the seriousness in wades tone and the utter panic on his face.

After a moment under the steadily warming water wade presses against logan, holding onto him tightly. Wade let's out a shaky breath.

"Mh, don't wanna talk about it right now"

He mumbles into logans chest, uncharacteristically quiet, stuck in his own head. Logan decides to let it go, deciding to bring it up later, once they've both eaten something.

They finish their shower fairly quickly but somethings still off about wade, the way he flinches as logan reaches for a shirt, how he dries off way too fast and how he doesn't grab logans ass or comment on logans physique like he usually would. It doesn't take a genius to realise there's something on wades mind.

Logan is an excellent cook, he can make just about anything but today he settles for something simple, scrambled eggs and bacon. Today he's only cooking for two since (due to plot convenience) blind Al is staying at her sisters for the weekend.

Logan dishes up their breakfast which earns him a peck on the cheek and a happy smile from wade. He grins as wade feeds mary half of his bacon.

Once they finish up logan washes the dishes and sits close to wade on their squeaky pull out.

"You wanna tell me about what happend in the shower?"

Logan asks directly as he wraps an arm around wades shoulder affectionately.

"M' sorry, it just freaked me out a bit"

Wade replies softly

"None of the apology bullshit, what's on your mind bub? You ain't been yourself all morning"

Logan states

After a heavy sigh wade turns to look at logan.

"I told you about the weapon x program yes?"

Wade asks which earns a nod and a look that says 'go on' from logan

"Well, uh, some of the forms of torture they used to ya know...make the mutation happen, well basically they used cold water, I'd spend hours trapped in ice baths, hosed down like a dog in a cage, they'd force my head under just until I was going to pass out only to bring me up and do it again."

Wade doesn't notice the tears in his eyes, or the way his breathing is becoming quicker as he re-lives those memories.

A gentle hand on his cheek grounds him, logan wiping the tears from his eyes

"Got it, no cold water"

He says as he gently pulls wade into a hug. Logan has had his own fair share of bad experiences with cold water, being submerged in it while boiling adamantium was being drilled under his skin seeping over his bones certainly wasn't a fun time. Yet, logan prefers cold showers as they remind him of the rain but he certainly wouldn't be able to have a cold bath without slicing the tub and anything or anyone in his way In two, so to a certain extent logan understands.

Logan pulls wade into a hug, kissing the others head as he pulls him down to rest on his chest.

"How about a film?"

Logan says, his best attempt to comfort wade. Wade nods with a smile, feeling genuinely looked after by logan.

"That sounds good logie bear"

[abcd-adventures]

Today was going to be a cardio day, but I just couldn't. It's been the Mondayest of Mondays, and my stress level has been so high most of the day that my heart has been beating like I just ran a marathon for the past several hours, and so I did a gentle yoga routine and walked instead. Now, I'm eating some chips and salsa, too, because f#ck it...I didn't have any for a week, and I'm all about balance (or at least that's what I'm telling myself).

I'm not even going to go into the many work/life things that are stressful because they've already taken enough of my time today. Instead, I'm going to share my two favorite things from today because those are what I want to look back on:

One of my clients is really struggling with his health right now and with the shame around needing help when he never has before. Today, we had a conversation about what it means to the people who care about us when we let them help--when we give them a tangible thing they can do for us when they can't cure us like they wish they could. Then, I asked him if he would be willing to have our session in his apartment and allow me to do a little light cleaning while we talked. I've offered this for a while and he's always adamantly against it, but after that conversation, he let me come up, and we talked while I swept, did his dishes, and cleaned up a bit. Obviously, cleaning is not part of my job...but it's not necessarily NOT part of it if I find it to be therapeutic, and I do, so that's what we did! He, of course, had to give me shit about how I did everything and be generally cantankerous (as he is), but as I was leaving, he said, "Thank you. This means a lot. I know I don't act like it, but it does." I managed to keep it together and not cry--which I'm sure he would not have appreciated, but OMG that was the best moment ever.

B is just LOVING reading. He is reading everything--stacks of books. He wanted to read to me while we had breakfast and while I was getting ready for work. He does the voices and uses great inflection, and it is so freakin cute that I could die. It was my turn to do bedtime and we read the book together and it was just so damn precious.

[the-foundation-sys]

"DID sounds so fun! It's just friends in your head!"

I've been having a mental breakdown for the past 5 hours because i've been frontstuck for days and the gatekeeper refuses to tell me what's going on in headspace and if my husband's alright, and there's a good chance something is happening because of new alter(s) sparking shit.

"DID sounds so cool, i'd love to have my comfort characters in my head! It would be so fun having friends i can talk to 24/7!"

Most of us don't even know eachother and some of us either fear or hate eachother. There's discrimination, violence and abuse in headspace. Example: someone was completely mauled by another alter because they were screaming. Example 2: someone got multiple bones broken because they tried to stop a fight between two other alters.

"Dude i wish i had DID!"

I can't remember most of my life due to it, none of us can, and most of us despise eachother. We don't remember if we've eaten, if we've drank, if we've taken medication, if we've spoken to anyone, if we've slept, etcetera.

"Omg it would be so fun to interact with people in my head dude! You're lucky!"

This disorder formed due to severe childhood trauma, and a lot of alters are reclusive, violent or downright abusive/manipulative because of trauma responses or because they're copying our abusers. And even if you do manage to make friends or build relationships, one day you might wake up and realise they've gone dormant or split due to the slightest bit of stress that was easily avoidable, and you'll never forgive yourself for letting them get to that point.

Can we stop fucking romanticising this disorder? Sure, you'll see a lot of people on social media posting about the pros of having DID and how fun it is, but that's because they don't want to post the cons 24/7. You'd rather talk about the positives of something that ruins your life and make light of it than constantly talk about the negatives and how horrible it is. Just because people treat some parts of the disorder like fun doesn't mean all the parts of the disorder are fun.

[genericpuff]

Scamlords is at it again.

A few nights ago, there was a sudden blow-up in the /r/webtoons server showing a new announcement from Snailords -

For anyone unaware, Death : Rescheduled has been on mid-season hiatus since October. And it's now, and only now, that Snailords has suddenly decided the comic is ending after it returns, but readers can get an extra 20 episodes... if they fork over $1k in merch sales.

Now, this could be a lot worse. They could be threatening not to return to the series at all unless their readers hand over money. But considering it's practically just one degree away from that, it's still pretty nasty. Not to mention, the further they divulged in their reasoning around this "idea", the more confusing it got.

They also even revived their @snailordsrant account on IG which, for those of you who were there and can recall, was the same account they used to put one of their own fans on blast over some very mild criticism.

None of this makes any actual sense, for several reasons:

1.) I literally fail to see how getting $1k in less than 24 hours is worth shoving in an extra mini arc of 10 episodes if you don't even have it planned out. Why do that to your audience or to yourself? Why drag things out just to scrounge up an emergency $1k? Why not just be honest with your audience and run a GoFundMe or just say , "Hey everyone, I've run into some financial troubles, I would really appreciate it if you could FastPass my newest episodes or donate to my Patreon or buy some merch so I can cover the costs". It's really telling that this shithead doesn't have enough confidence in themselves or their audience that practically worships them that they have to resort to this kind of underhanded shit to get the money they need. I wanna make it clear that this is NOT like a Kickstarter stretch goal or anything that incentivizes readers to support their work, they're instead holding the length and future of their series over their audiences' head (which they've done before) for money. That's not an incentive, it's an ultimatum.

2.) Maybe I'm misreading / being stupid (someone pls explain if I'm missing something here) but I literally don't see how their comment about working 50 hours a week explains why they're suddenly getting their fans to pay out $1k worth of merch in less than 24 hours. For anyone who doesn't know, $1k per episode is an example Webtoons uses in its post discussing how they pay out creators (this came after the platform got called out 2 years ago for paying creators too little, there are undoubtedly creators getting paid less). And yet for some reason $1k is apparently the difference between 10 episodes and 20? How does that add up? And is the bit about them wanting to buy boba supposed to be a joke? Where's the punchline here?

3.) They say they have writer's block and they want to use the money to "motivate them", but then just a few slides later they say 10-15 episodes is what would make them the "happiest" so which is it? Do they want to write 10 episodes or do they want people to pay them to write 20 episodes so they can draw the fluff scenes that they apparently want to draw? If you have an ending planned out, why rush it or drag it out depending on how this "fundraiser" goes? Why not just write the ending you want to write that will serve your story best? Why shove in an extra mini arc that you don't even have full confidence in writing and then try to compare it to a "super expensive cake"? What are you doing? Speaking as someone who's had trouble getting motivated in the past, suddenly getting a month's rent worth of money to do it doesn't necessarily solve that, it just turns up the pressure, and if you're not someone who deals with pressure well, then you're more likely to wind up just burning out entirely rather than fulfilling that goal.

4.) The fact that they did, in fact, hit their goal just makes it all the shittier to think about because their audience is mostly made up of teenagers who worship the ground that they walk on. It's horrifying that they keep pulling these stunts with their audience, and getting away with it to boot - and Webtoons, as a company, keeps enabling it by allowing it to happen by hosting and promoting people like this.

Anyways, there's already a lot going on here that's sketchy, but then... they went and deleted their posts. At the time of this happening (as I was there to witness it all play out in real time) I assumed this meant that they had hit their $1k goal - especially as they had been showing their progress on their IG and they were already at $900 after just a couple hours - but it gave me a sinking feeling seeing them delete it because they had also been called out by some brave readers telling them that it wasn't exactly a good look to essentially blackmail their audience through their own content into giving them money.

Snailords deleting it gave me a stronger impression of "burying the evidence", especially now that they had the money. By all accounts, they could do whatever they wanted now.

So what did they decide to do?

. . . Huh?

Okay, take a second to actually think about what Snailords has done here. Because I know some of you will go "oh, it was for charity all along! that was nice of them!" but . . . I don't know about the legalities of collecting donation funds under false pretenses, but morally speaking, it's a really shitty thing to do. They stripped away the choices - limiting them to three - of what their readers could donate to, and what I think their readers don't understand - due to being mostly teenagers - is that they're tax-exempt individuals and they just unknowingly gave Snailords an easy $1k tax write-off. You really, really shouldn't collect donation funds like this without being honest, it's just a shitty thing to do, especially after you've already collected the money. It mostly just comes across as damage control on Snailords' part to make it seem like they were always planning to donate to charity, when in reality, if they wanted to donate to charity, they would have been honest about that at the start. Again, even if they wanted to do that from the start, it goes to show how little confidence they have in themselves or their audience that they have to stoop to methods like these instead of just doing it honestly.

And do you really think Snailords will actually do those extra episodes? Or donate that money? This is the same asshole who has manipulated their readers for money not once but twice, and now seems intent on doing it a third time just for the charm. This is the same person who practically sabotaged their own comic, Freaking Romance, because they apparently didn't like the romance genre and may as well have only done it for clout / views / etc.

What was especially odd - and I found this out from folks who actually read Death : Rescheduled (I do not) - was finding out that it wouldn't make sense for D : R to end in as many as 25 episodes, because apparently, the plot has basically just gotten going.

So it does seem like this is foreshadowing that D : R will wind up just like Freaking Romance, rushed into an ending that wasn't expected. And this, of course, has the people who read their work confused because D : R was supposed to be Snailords' passion project, their magnum opus, the project they wanted to do. So them holding the timing of an ending that shouldn't even be happening yet for ransom contradicts that original intention. Really, it just goes to show that Snailords has no passion, they're just in it purely for the money, to a degree that I can't even cheer them on for being a hustler because it's missing the honesty and integrity.

And of course, every single time Snailords finds a way to backpedal and take his audience for a ride, they hop right in without a single thought for themselves.

And no, none of this is to hate on the readers directly, I hold Snailords entirely responsible for this - they have an audience of impressionable, naive, gullible teenagers, and they know it, and take advantage of it every chance they get. It's why they weren't just honest about wanting to collect money for charity from the start. It's why they resorted to basically holding their own comic's progression for ransom during its midseason hiatus. It's why the deadline was 24 hours and why the posts are now gone.

Thankfully the Internet does what it does - any evidence that Snailords was trying to bury is now all over reddit, and hey, just for good measure, here's a post on Tumblr that's been sitting in my drafts for days now, days after people have already seemingly stopped talking about it. Don't let anyone bury or forget about the stunts Snailords is pulling on their audience, with a platform that they've been consistently given by Webtoons, because that's what they want you to do.

[porcupine-girl]

I realized today that I've been blaming my writing going all to hell on covid. And that's definitely part of it - wisps of brain fog always linger for several weeks afterward, and I find it significantly harder to think of the word I mean for things than it was a couple of years ago.

But I realized today that something else happened at the same time:

I got covid for the first time in July 2022.

And my kid went into 7th grade a month and a half later.

Why is this significant?

Because 7th grade meant switching from elementary to middle school. And while the elementary school had an after school program that meant he got home between 5-5:30pm, the middle school had no such program. He stayed after for clubs, but they were only twice a week for an hour, and not the entire school year. They usually didn't start til October and ended in April.

My brain does not turn on properly until 2-3pm most days. This is just how it works. When I was in grad school (before having a kid, and when my husband lived in another city), I would go to campus and work 3pm-10pm many days, it was great. That is perfect.

Having a kid fucked this up, because suddenly my most productive time of day is filled with dinner and bedtime and such. When he started elementary school with this after school program, that helped because at least I had 2-3 hours a day after my brain turned on and before he got home.

Suddenly middle school is here, and he started getting home by 3:30, 4:30 when he had clubs (which again, was not most days). So suddenly I went from 2-3 hours of work time to an hour at most, and sometimes even when I thought I'd get that hour he'd show up at 3:30 because robotics club got cancelled.

Now high school is the same way - thankfully, his bus ride takes a while (he rode his bike the half mile to the middle school), so even though they get out at 2:30 he doesn't get home until 2:55. But this means I have no work time at all before he gets home and I have to start keeping on top of him to get homework done and practice cello and etc etc etc. The one extracurricular he's done so far, film crew, hasn't even been after school! First they were meeting from 7-9fuckingPM three days a week, then the past few weekends they've been filming 8am-5pm Saturdays & Sundays. Which means I do get time without him on the weekends, but my husband is home and sometimes he's even not working and expects me to do things with him because it's the only chance we get, since he's working most evenings.

So anyhow. I knew this was annoying, but I only realized today how bad it was because I was actually up and medicated and showered and dressed before 2pm (this is a constant struggle on days I don't teach, once again I'd been getting it under control and then covid hit), but I had trouble getting anything done 2-3pm because of the whole but he'll be home in less than an hour, whatever I do I'll have to stop in less than an hour thing that you KNOW renders many of us with ADHD completely useless. And this was the first time I realized that I lost those vital 2-3 work hours every weekday at the exact same time I got covid the first time, and I think that has impacted me more than I'd even realized.

ETA: I should mention that before I got covid the first time, I was actively preparing to query agents for some picture books, as well as about halfway through a middle grades novel, and had published two articles in kids' magazines and was actively querying to get more. Aside from the way my fanfic output has slowed to a trickle, I have made almost NO progress on ANY of these professional writing attempts. What time I do manage to spend on work stuff, I have to use on teaching, because shit will actually happen if I don't get teaching stuff done while if I don't get writing done absolutely nothing happens.

[getstickbugdlol]

i genuinely need somebody to tell me if im being the asshole here.

i called my mom when i found out about duncan and asked her to come be with me. she got here the day that i broke up with him and she said she'd help me pack his shit and that we would redo the apartment to be my space. i really feel i have to emphasize that redoing the apartment was not my idea nor was it something i asked for. tbh i didnt even ask her to help me pack his shit i just asked her to be here because i needed my mom.

over the past few weeks my mom has made a few comments about how she's spent a lot of money redoing the apartment, and how i should be respectful of things she buys me because she works hard and she sacrifices for this and that everything she's buying me is with money she could have kept for herself but she's choosing to give it to me. i currently am working for her and she and my grandma are covering half my expenses through grad school - which is, again, something that i did not ask for - i had planned to keep working full time and i even said i was going to go back to work after my first semester and she told me no bc i worked through undergrad and i should be able to focus on grad school! and i really do appreciate how much time and energy she's sunk into doing all this, and ngl, she has done most of it by herself bc i was just not in a state to do anything at all for like three weeks.

my mom is a generally clean person but she ALWAYS has comments about my housekeeping skills when she comes to stay. thats a sensitive area for me bc i struggle with it and it is something we've been fighting about since i was a literal child. she went to DC to visit my sister this weekend, and i had a super busy weekend but i really did try to keep things clean and set aside special time for cleaning. i vacuumed, i took out trash and recycling (genuinely hard for me from a sensory standpoint), made sure dishes were put away and everything was picked up and i vacuumed. my mom came back from DC at midnight and literally the first thing she said to me was there was a french fry outside the trash can, and when i said oh i didn't notice, she said well you can enjoy having bugs in your apartment.

so tonight my mom and i were watching severance and my mom paused mid episode to get ice cream. after a second she paused and said "what smells in here?" and determined that it was a mildewy spoon. she then said my sponge was mildewy and said she was concerned that when she left i wouldn't notice things like that and asked me what the solution was. i told her i didn't want to fight and she said we aren't fighting i'm just asking you a question. i said i didn't wash the dishes (bc i didn't - they've been done twice since my mom came back from DC and not by me) and that I hadn't noticed the sponge or spoons were mildewy but I'd replace it. My mom then said that wasn't the point and she needed to know my solution and we had the same conversation we've had literally like 700 times at this point in my life where she asks what the solution is, I say I don't know, what do you think, and she says (in very simplified terms because this always takes at least two hours) I can't give you a solution you have to come up with it, but I say I didn't notice the problem so how can I come up with a solution, she says my brain doesn't work like yours so it has to be you, and I say, I literally don't know because this is not a priority for me like it is for you, and she says, stop victimizing yourself. So we went on and on like that for a while until she once again brought up that I can't get rid of stuff in the apartment because she bought it and she felt that me not noticing it was dirty was being disrespectful to her, and that it's important for me to be hygienic for myself and my cats. She mentioned several times that I'd had somebody in to clean the apartment a few times when Duncan was living here - which was not even something that's on the table for me rn so I'm not sure why she zeroed in on that particular detail. Her exact words were "Two adults living in the apartment and neither one of you will fucking clean it so you have to hire somebody to clean it" and she made the point that I'm about to not have much money and that SHE can't afford that

Ultimately I'm sure I could have handled it better bc I have had this conversation like 700 times and I was really annoyed at having to fight at all and also being mid severance and I have a lot of anxieties about Duncan's deceit being tied to my demands that he do some housework and I will fully and readily admit I am not a good housekeeper and I don't enjoy it but I don't know if I'm like....genuinely being disrespectful bc that's really not what I want to do with my mom but she also has the emotional regulation of a sheet of rice paper so it's hard to tell

[1q84]

the studio i'm at has been actively crumbling around me for months so the writing has been on the wall for a while but i just got the dreaded mystery meeting with my supervisor added to my calendar for monday 😭 MAN! ramble ->

have to get it out of my system for my own sake. this is my diary!! i've been doing some cursory job searching and mentally preparing for a while now seeing as we've gotten no new projects and they've laid off DOZENS of ppl the past several months (there are legit like 4 of us left idk how i made it this far) but it's really rough out here... animation industry is in shambles rn (in addition to vfx, gaming, entertainment in general) and tons of extremely talented people i know who have been in the biz for years and years are unable to find work anywhere for months now. sucks!! scrolling thru linkedin rn is insane LOL everyone is holding hands and coping so hard

scared to join their ranks bc we're already pretty paycheck to paycheck over here and while i can probably stretch myself for a couple months, it won't be long before the situation gets rly difficult, so i'm trying to scheme up side hustles too just to tide myself over (if anyone has any suggestions in this realm they are welcome...).

lately i've been thinking about taking the dive and trying to switch gears to art, which is my one true lifelong love, certainly moreso than editorial. but that's scary too - i can draw and think i can learn what i need to, but i'm lacking a lot of fundamentals core to being a professional artist and most importantly the experience to slap on a resume/portfolio. that + the general anxiety around AI swooping in and eliminating a lot of artist jobs in an already highly competitive line of work really sucks. but maybe this is a golden opportunity in disguise - i'm lucky enough to already be in the industry i wanna stay in, and am connected w several storyboard and concept artists as well. the animation network bubble is smaller than you'd think. i know plenty of ppl pivot in the industry since a lot of smaller studios offer flexibility like that. i mean shit, before it got canned, the director of the last big project we had was desperately asking me if i knew how to draw/storyboard since they were stretched a bit thin. (i did not have the skills to storyboard sadly but it goes to show the opportunity may present itself again if i learn). and at that point i was just assisting with animatic editing (which was also fun and i learned a lot!!)

at the end of the day i just wanna stay around animation, even if that means staying in editorial. it really charges me up to see a creative project grow and to be surrounded by concept art. it's like watching something slowly come to life, and when it's done well it's really exciting. if i can be around that as often as possible, i won't have much to complain about

the other silver lining is that i've become closer with my coworkers than ever, especially as our numbers dwindled and we all huddled together for support lol. i see them constantly ofc just bc of having a 40 hour work week, but we've also been hanging out on the weekends and after work all the time and even played hooky last week to go to disney and turn our brains off for the day. i'll still hangout with them after all is said and done and we're all ready and gearing up to move on, but i'm really gonna miss having that dynamic with them

okay i'm typing too much but it's nice to get some thoughts down. anyways i'm gonna start working on finally building a website for myself tonight after planning the design and layout of it for a while, i'm lucky my bf knows what he's doing in that regard and can help me 😤

[variousqueerthings]

I've just been spending the last few hours thinking about this ending that I haven't even thought about the whole rest of the episode, I've gotta. I've gotta just

oh boy I've gotta just fuckn

nothing about donna or fourteen or fifteen here just all the rest

1- at first I was thinking that the toymaker was defeated in kind of a simple way, but then on the other hand it's more a setup for some of the things we know is coming in ncuti gatwa's era, with classic!who gods. so the toymaker, yes, gives the opportunity to wrap up this past era and for DT to do those big sad wet eyes of his, but is far more for the next story's benefit in the long run from the sounds of things. also the behind-the-scenes for the game of catch is hilarious. NPH was so good, would be cool to see the toymaker make a reprise just with gatwa

2- ohhhhhhhhhh the Puppetry in this episode! PUPPETS! I am soooo into puppets, I could have spent a million episodes with these creepy fucking puppets, I hope we get more puppets

3- AND speaking of the toymaker, the master in the toymaker's tooth???? I haven't seen dhawan yet, so idk how that all ends, but I did not expect master setup, and I am very happy we did because the master is my favourite (derogatory, what a bitch)

4- RTD talking about the puppet that was broadcast on TV, I knew about that puppet (from getting a quiz answer wrong relatively recently lol), but giving that little historical Moment, now we all know a bit more, I just think it's neat

5- I am still not a fan of UNIT. every time we meet them they're a military force with weaponry that has the potential to do so much harm and... then they lose control of that weaponry. and also do weapons-related stuff that often makes the situation worse. I feel similarly of classic!UNIT who do manage to help out more on the whole, but still are fundamentally military and several times have people who do Bad Shit. dunno, still trying to figure out their place in this narrative other than convenient guns when we need guns. I want them to be more complicated if they come back for the next era, I'd be interested if shirley-ann bingham became a liz shaw type and really questions the limitations and biases that exist within UNIT

6- wait no, going back to point the first I'm soooo excited for the things they've hinted at, stories about gods are my whole damn jam, it's going to be amazing!

7- them playing the prime minister saying he doesn't care about anybody and donna goes "same as always" (or however she says it), listen, it's low-hanging fruit and I am eating it, anything dragging the british government and right wing sentiment is good and necessary for my soul personally

8- one really big Thing is no martha. will never get that closure RIP. argh though freema agyeman and ncuti gatwa could do great things together I think, cmon. one day

I'm sure more things will come up as I think about it, but off the top of my head

[thedragonagelesbian]

Canon Worldstate Questions!

tytyty @omgkalyppso i did um. accidentally post this way too early & hastily delete it, sooo let's try again...

1. your Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor's opinion on Orlais?

vidreu aeducan: for a long time, dru understood orlais almost exclusively in terms of trade, with the chantry lyrium trade being orzammar's economic lifeblood. that made sense to her. orlesian politics do not. while conceptually familiar with the game from her noble upbringing, when she gets her first taste of it in-person after the end of the fifth blight, it is Wayyyy too much for her. orzammar's politics are also cutthroat and status-based, but there's at least (purportedly) this shared understanding and cultural investment in values that dru respects like family honor. the game is absurd to her. the fashion sensibilities are even worse. the overwrought extravagance of the nobility is appalling. the social scripts are opaque and convoluted,. the social pressure is overwhelming.

dru makes like one debut as the famed hero of ferelden then gets shitfaced with loghain to recover and never shows their face in orlesian high society again.

cyrus hawke: he wants to see the empire fall, but until then, at least the aesthetics are fun

yiseeril trevelyan: adores it. everything is ridiculous, and nothing matters at all and everything matters immensely. she wonders often what her life could've been like if she had stayed in ghislain

8. who do they hate the most, and do they have an arch-nemesis

vidreu aeducan: dru's baseline attitude toward everyone is indifference, and that + unhealthy dose of pragmatism makes it hard to hate even people she really should despise like uh. bhelen. or loghain. but they do want to kill flemeth. and i think they could've done it if they had been in the fade for her toying with kieran shit. powers of a goddess be damned.

cyrus hawke: he can't pick just one person. he hates meredith, cullen, aveline, loghain, sister petrice, grand cleric elthina, cassandra, celene, gaspard.................. no arch-nemesis, just a lot of terrible people with power

yiseeril trevelyan: yiseeril is kind of a fake hater asjdpofjf she can be quite casually mean but that's just because it's fun and even the people she should be angry at (the templar who made her tranquil, the first enchanter who lied about her not being harrowed, everyone who took advantage of her while she was tranquil, hell even the maker for permitting her to suffer like this) she. isn't. because she doesn't want to look her hurt directly in the eye and acknowledge it, she just wants to move past it (though she isn't above a little bloody vengeance against that templar when sera tracks him down to try to make her feel better)

10. are they good horse riders?

vidreu aeducan: they would be an excellent griffon rider, but they can't get most animals to trust them.

cyrus hawke: my heart says yes, because it fits into the knight aesthetic so perfectly, but he would get too stressed out about protecting it in battle... if it's just for transportation/to be DramaticTM, it's fine, but in combat, he prefers to be on his own two feet

yiseeril trevelyan: her family had her in a saddle before her magic manifested, and she finagled her way into a pastoral outing or two while in Ghislain. the skills came back to her quickly in inquisition.

11 & 13.

Answered here!

12. attitude toward Mabari?

vidreu aeducan: alistair is convinced for most of the game that dru likes gorim (yes that is what they named the ostagar mabari) more than anyone else in the party, and he's RIGHT. that's their emotional support tether to the past they've been severed from and whom they can show weakness around without fear of reproach, thank you very much!

i also just. like the idea of her mabari also being... a lil more blight haunted than what we get in-game. he did swallow darkspawn blood, after all. sometimes zevran swears he hears them chittering to one another at the edges of camp in the wee hours of the morning.

cyrus hawke: cyrus has a mild phobia of dogs, after a guard sicced one on him as a teen. not a fan.

yiseeril trevelyan: she thinks they're boring adfojpafwe like they're Fine but a real pet should be horse-adjacent and hilarious. like a dracolisk or nuggalope.

14. who are they closest to from their family?

vidreu aeducan: the aeducans were not a close family by any definition of the word, but she and bhelen come out the other side of origins inextricably and painfully bound to one another, genuinely close and strangely caring (the bit in halamshiral in inq about the king depleting orzammar's coffers trying to find the hero of ferelden always gets me...) but also always a few strong drinks away from some light-to-heavy attempted fratricide.

cyrus hawke: it was malcolm, once upon a time. his relationship with leandra has always been strained, and there's a certain distance between him and his siblings (bethany's magic, carver's independence), but cyrus deeply admired his father and has always tried to emulate him. more than that, cyrus felt that malcolm understood and supported him, treating him with gentleness and empathy when his protectiveness and earliest inclinations toward sacrifice got him hurt.

yiseeril trevelyan: no one; yiseeril's family was embarrassed by her magic, and while she was in ghislain, the only person she kept in contact with was her mother. when she was made tranquil, yiseeril presumed that the transfer to ostwick was arranged by her and spent years expecting her visit. it was only later that she discovered the transfer was made by a rival of the trevelyan family to humiliate them further.

24. what languages can they speak?

vidreu aeducan: King's Tongue and Dwarvish

cyrus hawke: the King's Tongue and bits and pieces of Elvish (in addition to prayers, Merrill has taught him a lot of swears, bc it's good for him to vent his anger)

yiseeril trevelyan: King's Tongue, conversational in Orlesian

[shostakobitchh]

Two chapters in a row, the third on the way, and the possible launch of Splitering. What a week! Did you have a good July, that made you have a burst of creativity?

don't give me too much credit, the splintering is still a long ways off

I've just had way more free time; school is out for July & August for me and my husband is working all of July so I've been home basically rotating between writing for hours and video games. I'm also teaching at a summer program so I'm not like, rotting away in my apartment, but that's only for 3 hours every morning and it ends this Friday. But not Real Teaching has freed up a lot of my brain, this past school year was wild.

I think the high turnaround is because the last several chapters haven't been my favorite - they've felt like, very low-key - and that's fine because they were necessary for character development/plot, but I'd really like to get the plot of PoA moving and so chugging out chapters and staying strict to my outline are my only hope. I'd like to have PoA done around Chapter 80 (was supposed to be 65, and then 85, now I'm condensing).

the splintering won't be posted until it's done, and its still being written because I need to stop adding in shit. Like, originally it was a oneshot, and then it became a 10 chapter thing, and then I added in fucking Remus and James, so it's just becoming bigger and bigger. I don't want to post it until it's done, though.

[patchdotexe]

doip. / 9.15.23: Axeholm, again

joins call. jorb tells me that they're discussing if we'd rather fight one horse-sized spoink or several spoink-sized horses We Are Now Talking About Pikmin.

LAST TIME, ON DERAGON IF ICESPIRE PEAK: OUR HEROES ARRIVE AT HTE OFORGOTTEN DRAWRVEN FORTRESSO GF AXHOLE . WE . FRONT GATE LOCKED. CAREFUL INTILFRATION , IM FUCKING THIS UO PSO BA D. DAUBLE. HOWEVER, A HORRIBLE STENCH PERMEATED THESE HALLS, AND THE SOURCE WAS QUICKLY DISCOVERED TO BE FOUL DWARVEN GHOULS ROAMING THE HALLS. AREPO'S RESEARCH SUGGESGTED AXEHOLM HAD FALLEN TO A BANSHEE IN AGES PAST. WILL OUR HEROES BE ABLE TO SECURE AXEHOLM? FIND OUT…….. TODAY! THIS SUCKS SO BAD

Last time, on Dragon of Icespire Peak!

Our heroes arrived at the forgotten dwarvern fortress of Axeholm, seeking to ensure that it's safe for refugees from Phandalin should the need arise. Upon arrival, they found the front gate locked, but after a careful infiltration through arrows slits in the walls, Dauble was able to open the doors for the rest of the group. However, a horrible stench permeated these halls, and the source was quickly discovered to be foul dwarvern ghouls, roaming the halls in undeath, including one carrying a signet ring with Axeholm's crest. Arepo's research suggested that the fortress had fallen at the hands of a banshee in ages past, which may well still be haunting the lost fortress. After several battles against the risen, and more yet to come, will our heroes be able to secure Axeholm? Find out, today!

DIRECTLY INTO INITIATIVE! right i forgot we left off right before an encounter fixing the issue from last time of "deleting tokens blows up initiative" by putting invisible men under the ground. like fallout nyx put on 1 Hour Of Silence Interrupted By Pikmin Noises and got jumpscared

green: my father was a pikmin jorb: oh! green: don't ask.

arepo's up to bat! time for vicious mockery. oh hey we can see healthbars now jorb: how are you giving kepesk bardic inspiration? green: you just hand it to me.

[insert the "dauble!" "boggle!" conversation Again - NYX HAS ONCE AGAIN BEEN JUMPSCARED BY PIKMIN nyx: ok im normal, im normal. i have a pikmin on my shoulder but its vibing, im here jorb: wildshape into a pikmin. 2 inches tall

dauble does not wildshape into a pikmin. dauble is using word of radiance! -oh they're not close enough nevermind. wait no they've moved into range. WORD OF RADIANCE!

oh right. walls exist. kepesk sadly cant clip through walls. thankfully attack of opportunity bounces right off him!

hm. gettin kinda crowded in here

HOLY SHIT MY CROSSBOW WORKED. IT ACTUALLY GOT A KILL FOR ONCE. WILD . also used a nat20 to annihilated a guy with 2hp left Consultation Saving Throw - ah oh no dauble is now paralyzed . that's an issue. OH GOD THEY GET AUTO-CRIT NOW IF ANYBODY MELEES THEM? THAT'S AN ISSUE

jorb: you feel necrotic energy seeping into your limbs and you cant move. nyx: or speak. jorb: your mouth is a limb! leo and jason: Hm.

arepo is casting sleep! OOPS NEVERMIND UNDEAD AREN'T AFFECTED BY SLEEP. time for another vicious mockery (and also whacking dauble with bardic inspiration. 🎶 walk it off walk it off walk it off) jorb: dauble, it's your turn! you are paralyzed and inspired! hooray, the inspiration got dauble back on their feet! still surrounded by ghouls (and lizards) though

kepesk being the change he wants to see in the world (killing people)! ghouls cant fall asleep but they CAN feel shame

green: [rolls a 23 on a con save] jorb: would you like to use your bardic inspiration? green: UHH?????? (she was fine)

jason: i think i broke something. leo: WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU?? (apparently he rolled two nat10s back to back. he's also fine)

DAUBLE KNOWS INFLICT WOUNDS. SURE. A NECROMANCY SPELL. SURE. anyway they are inflicting the hell out of those wounds

nyx: im going to grab [the ghoul] by the neck and bash his head into the floor. leo: HOLY SHIT jason: i ""cast"" inflict wounds nyx: and he's going to get fucking raptured. he's going to wilhelm scream himself out of existence kepesk: I DIDN'T KNOW THEY COULD DO THAT!

well! that's one way to end an encounter! don't you hate it when you're paralyzed so you have to reduce a zombie to a fine dust

arepo has found a platinum amulet with a hammer and anvil! and also a little chest. jason: what horrible monster have i unleashed. jorb: the mimic eats you. um - oh hey arepo finds another potion! oh its labeled this time so he doesnt need to drink to find out. superior healing!

dauble's hoarding instinct is kicking in. wuh oh alidaar: i put a hand on dauble's face and shove them away like a misbehaving cat. hmm. dauble doesn't like the amulet, actually. oh its the symbol of moradin, the dwarven god of creation! alidaar's holding onto it for now.

jorb: so you're heading up the stairs, dauble? leo: dauble! green: dauble! jason: daubling up the stairs.

WUH OH. BANSHEE.

jorb: its face becomes a mask of rage as it screams G [cuts out]

dauble: uh. guys? kepesk: treasure? :D alidaar: i dont think treasure screams. arepo: well, sometimes. alidaar: …do you have experience in screaming treasures?? kepesk: i had a treasure that screams, actually. …it's a long story. alidaar: huh. neat. kepesk: it doesn't scream anymore though alidaar: why does that sound so concerning

kepesk: [to the banshee] dude, you gotta get out of here, there's a banshee in the castle TIME FOR INITIATIVE

leo: [checking tracker] ooh, she has a name! (jorb: how's the pikmin noises going?) jason: most people have one. she has a "hello my name is vyldara" sticker (she does not)

arepo leading the battle with vicious mockery! and telling the banshee she's off-key for 1 psychic damage.

jorb: she uses horrifying visage. so everyone in 60 feet that can see her - green: alidaar can't see.

jorb: i'm assuming he's been looking around the corner! leo: yeah he's peering around scooby doo style

WUH OH . everybody but arepo failed their wisdom save! - nevermind, dauble got advantage bc They've Seen Worse. the reptile duo are now scared shitless what are lizards afraid of that mammals arent? pufferfish.

ah no this sucks. we can't move willingly closer and we have disadvantage in line of sight. thiiiis suuuuuuucks kepesk tries throwing a javelin! unfortunately, shaky hands from Absolute Terror makes a miss. man what am i gonna do

green: if we win, i'll pick [the javelin back] up. nyx: IF???????

OOF. NAT 2 AND NAT 1. kepesk has dropped the javelin on his foot

the fact that the two heavy hitters are frightened is not good, actually. i mean dauble and arepo are pretty good at what they do but kepesk and alidaar are both the up-close brawlers and they are currently unable to get up close and have a disadvantage on brawling.

DAUBLE WALKS UP. SMACKS KEPESK UP ON THE HEAD. "GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER" it is REALLY funny that the tiny halfling and the bookworm bard are completely unaffected by this and the two beefy lizards are weeping and wailing in terror

kepesk: you wouldn't get it, it's a lizard thing, alidaar: she's a pufferfish!

dauble knows turn undead! apparently they did this before and i forgot

nyx: im going to hold up my - jesus christ i forgot about the pikmin. jorb: you hold up your pikmin!

dauble is using shadow clone juitsu! sure. dauble 2: the second one. green: cmon kid we've gotta save dauble… 2!

discussing if we can throw kepesk or not. unfortunately we cant green: so long, gay kepesk! jorb: thank you for playing my game!

I Am Going To Shove Kepesk . i have shoved kepesk

kepesk: [TERRIFIED SCREAMING AS HE IS SHOVED FIVE FEET TOWARDS THE BANSHEE]

alidaar ducked out of line of sight and shook off the fear! shoving kepesk made him feel better.

jorb: arepo conjures a spray of spectral black lotuses. jason: i'm trying to think of a magic card with ugly art to be like "oh, you think that's bad?" nyx: he throws pot of greed. green: wait, but what does that card do?! leo: IT ALLOWS ME TO DRAW TWO CARDS AND ADD THEM TO MY HAAAAAAAAAAAND

arepo has showered the banshee in a spray of ugly-ass cards.

wuh oh. arepo and kepesk having to make con saves against a mournful wail! kepesk rolled a 1 but thankfully he has bardic inspiration - ah wait no he's one short. AH OH GOD DIRECTLY TO ZERO

Dauble Has Entered Kill Mode . INFLICT WOUNDS!

………..oh my god there's no effect.

green: ..so what happens if we all die? like is that it, we delete the discord, [..] jason: is kepesk still afraid while dead? green: kepesk is on a second adventure in his brain where it's like YOU'LL FAIL and he's like NO, MY FRIENDS ARE WITH ME

The Unconscious Kepesk Is No Longer Frightened green: in my dream state, im having a miniboss battle

hm . i cant really do much from where i'm at even after running up, i'd have to close the distance somehow before using any of my runes… jorb: you could use your crossbow! leo: alright. fuck it.

leo: WHOA! [..] alright, i'm using my crossbow again!

leo: … [strained] i love my crossbow, it sucks so bad

arepo has given kepesk the superior healing potion! wahoo! chekhov's potion in full effect green: the potion was cursed and because you used the action to give it to me, i'm fully cursed. jason: why would you say that? kepesk hugging arepo and weeping

huh. the banshee has Left. well. kepesk is giving chase through the closest door!

leo: [EXPLOSIVE LAUGHTER] jorb: what, what's happened?? leo: the - the state of the room! green: not just the state of the room…

green: …you'll see it is NOT CONNECTED.

kepesk stomps out of the room and his rage activates on its own ah. the room kepesk went in has a stone tub full of gnawed dwarven bones. great!

nyx: i have a question. is the banshee smart enough to know dauble 2 isn't real? jorb: is kepesk smart enough to know dauble 2 isn't real? green: kepesk 100% thinks there's two daubles.

hm. alidaar can't get in the room. CROSSBOW TIME jason: oh, he's shooting into the door? jorb: alidaar shouts "dauble, duck!" nyx: both daubles duck.

crossbow just BARELY hits - leo: i'm using my fire rune! GUESS WHAT I REMEMBERED - guess what i realized my crossbow counts as a weapon!

rolling my physical dice bc i like doing that once a session i guess! oh god i have to get on the floor to roll my physical dice . oh god ive unplugged my headset. great googly moogly its all going to shit

OH . GREAT. SHE HAS A RESISTANCE TO FIRE AND IS IMMUNE TO BEING RESTRAINED. AKA THE TWO THINGS MY FIRE RUNE DOES. MAN

we have another pile up.

green: IF I COMPEL DUEL THEM, WILL THEY GET AN ATTACK OF OPPORTUNITY FROM ALL THREE OF THEM? [..] jason: definitely cast compel duel on the creature that's demonstrated an attack that goes in a straight line [and kills us instantly].

i appear to have spaced out at a bad time. is green rolling to see which ally to slap to keep kepesk's rage going nevermind, kepesk has bit a ghost. jason: refreshing, tangy ectoplasm. jorb: it's kinda like biting a lacroix?

jorb: using your noggin! leo: you're THINKING! nyx: i'm thinking!! jason: Now You're Thinking With Daubles [...] jorb: so true, bestie. i mean, b-slur nyx: WHY WOULD YOU CALL ME A SLUR NOW OF ALL TIMES green: I SPACED OUT FOR A SECOND, HUH? leo: ME TOO?? (nyx has a running joke where he says b-slur instead of bestie)

HERE COMES ALIDAAR WITH A STEEL CHAIR!! jorb: how would you like to do this? leo: ……………i don't know! alidaar fuckin Vaults over arepo and slaps that bitch apart. LET'S GO

alidaar pets dauble on the head. alidaar pets dauble 2 on the head. dauble 2 evaporates

dauble stares kepesk down and tells him "be more careful next time. i can't afford to lose you." alidaar holds out the most awkward fistbump and goes "aayyyyy, gettin knocked down and yelled at for it buddies…!"

jorb showed off the banshee stat block and it has SO MANY RESISTANCES AND IMMUNITIES. ITS IMMUNE TO COLD. FUCK MY LIFE FOREVER

jorb: there's another bedroom [..] who puts their bed in the middle of the room, god damn. GOD DAMNIT I ALERTED THE HORDE (STIRGES) dauble wakes up, goes FUCK YOU, and explodes a stirge

arepo: there's bugs in there. kepesk: ew!

jason: are they bugs? jorb: they look like this but smaller. [posts image] green: every time you show me this it looks more and more disgusting.

arepo has viciously mocked the final stirge . arepo: the rest of you already left, what are you still doing here =/

alidaar has rolled an 11 to smack the stirge like a mosquito. that's a miss. this is incredibly embarrassing EVERYONE IS TRYING TO SLAP THE STIRGE OFF ALIDAAR. AND FAILING NEVERMIND. KEPESK HAS FLICKED THE STIRGE INTO A WALL WITH A NAT 20 UNARMED STRIKE. FUCKING CLOWNSHOW

things the fireplace contains: 100 more stirges, a banshee, the second boar, sephiroth,

Everyone Has Become Fascinated With This Fireplace

jorb: any magic items you miss will go in the dragon hoard. nyx: jorb i am going to go to your house and eat you jorb: that's what i've been doing! any loot goes in the dragon hoard! leo: we've been REALLY bad at looting things.

dauble has found a chest! time to put the signet ring in it dauble: put the ring in there. kepesk: oh, jeffrey! nyx: dauble stares at him. green: i don't know why it's jeffrey the ring on my character sheet.

kepesk: nooo i dont wanna go in there, youre gonna cask of amontillado me! dauble: i will if you dont put the ring in there!

ooo! fancy helmet and fancy gauntlets! green: [hopeful] wearable for lizardpeople? jorb: eh, you can make it work.

dauble has decided to shove the items in their bag and scoot out. dauble please. dauble you have 10 magic items. dauble we're dying

oh hey this place has hot water! and also bones in the tub but that's fine

I Roll An Eight On Animal Handling To Find Out There's A Naturally Heated Hot Spring Underground

okay i guess we're cleaning the bone tub. cool

WE HAVE KNOWN AREPO FOR LIKE, A WEEK, WE ARE NOT GETTING NAKED IN THE BONE TUB WITH HIM arepo has decided to walk away. kepesk doesn't shower. Roll To See If Dauble Has Seen A Capybara (they have not)

jorb: alidaar, what are you doing? leo: staring at the binturong. wondering how his life got to this moment. alidaar sits in the tub with his entire armor on.

Advancement Unlocked: How Did We Get Here?

Time To Interrogate Dauble (in the bath) hoo boy! alidaar is very suspicious of dauble's newfound necromantic magic, but dauble keeps brushing it off because they dont want to lose anybody else - tobias isn't the first person theyve lost, and if this helps them keep people safe, then its fine. alidaar tells them "if you didn't want to lose people, you made a bad choice becoming an adventurer." it gets Supremely Awkward bc of them being in the Bone Tub and alidaar exits stage left

jason: does the binturong popcorn smell get stronger when wet?

Kepesk Is Now The Chosen Lizard (binturong has climbed up on kepesk's shoulder) nyx: dauble is not speaking to any of their lizards right now.

hm. the walls in here are covered with weird secretions that would allow creatures to walk on walls and ceilings…. like a gecko…………….

GIANT GECKOS (hey remember last time when i mentioned jorb said he needed to reskin some monsters)

jorb: first up is the immune to ninjas dauble "dauble!" "dauble!"

unfortunately arepo is out of spell slots and wasnt able to regain them on a short rest. this will be a problem most likely

WHAT . ALIDAAR TWOSHOT A GECKO . SURE (breath weapon + dragonslayer crit) and kepesk follows up with nearly taking a gecko down! off to a great start :D

OH NO IM BEING YOSHI'D

jorb: do you have any bonus actions? leo: uhhh, i do, but i dont think it would help me any.. or be good for anyone around me…… jorb: your breath weapon? oh, no, that's- leo: giant's might. |D; jorb: oh! green: shove kepesk down the stairs. jorb: that's a wall, not a railing, so.. green: smushes kepesk against the wall. nyx: you hear - [mario super mushroom soundboard] - and kepesk gets smushed

(i have decided to not use giant's might)

jorb announces the start of a round with "[name], you're up! with [next] on deck." and it's very fun. it reminds me of being in theatre for some reason

jorb: and that's a natural 1! nyx: take double damage! -no not actually jorb: i believed you! you could've lied to me! leo: always lie to your dm. it is always morally correct

I HAVE FINALLY USED MY INSPIRATION . leo: i have had that inspiration for a literal year. green: WHAT

GIANT'S MIGHT TIME . where's the funny button [SUPER MUSHROOM NOISE]

meanwhile, kepesk continues killing

arepo gives alidaar bardly inspiration by playing the godzilla theme. or jurassic park because that's the only one any of us can remember at the time. wait no green remembered it, jorb had to google it though

jorb: how do you want to do this? leo: UM. I HAVE A FUNNY IDEA BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS,

GIANT LIZARD ON GIANT LIZARD WRESTLING MATCH . alidaar chucks a gecko down the stairs. amazing way to end an encounter YET AGAIN . the gecko also has a very delayed explosion after we leave

kepesk's time for a fireplace adventure! a gecko eats his head and he dies instantly. no hes fine

OKAY! one nap later and we've cleaned up axeholm best we can, so time to go back to phandalin!

…ah . uh oh. there's a shadow over phandalin. cryovain swoops down, then flies off east. BOOKIN IT TO PHANDALIN AAAAAAAAAAA

nyx: oh god, did he take the barrel crab?! green: NOOO! THE BARREL CRAAAAAAAB!

oh god. ice and talon marks outside barthen's provisions. everybody's in a panic. OH HEY SILDAR'S HERE sildar was kepesk's traveling companion! and also became barry bluejeans in another universe but that's not really relevant. rest of the wilders are in neverwinter though

NOOOO OH MY GOD CRYOVAIN STOLE VINCENT…….. MAN………………..

OH . SURE. we have gotten paid 250 gold for axeholm! also alidaar is trying to be the coolest guy in the room, sorry kepesk </3 alidaar has handed the 250 gold over to dauble. we are never getting it back

sildar: do you know where the dragon's lair is? alidaar: [nervous sweating]

oh thank god. dauble does.

sildar: i wish you best of luck as you go out to slay… the dragon of icespire peak. leo: YIIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

(there was also some after session discussion about what dauble's deal is! apparently something that got left out of my notes TWO YEARS AGO during the dwarven excavation was that dauble got the cursed necklace from the body of a dwarven cleric. their name being dauble is a Recent Development, and it happens to translate to "treasure" or "valuable". they've become very possessive of the party, just like they've become possessive of any treasure in proximity. they dislike the moradin pendant. I'M SURE THIS IS FINE.)

[skygodtraumabond]

<A video file is attached! Let me provide a transcript!>

<The video opens with a scene shot from a hotel room window. Through the haze of the bug screen, the parking lot can be made out, and Ray can barely be seen laying on the roof of the ScamVan, the burnt out lights in the parking lot too dim and few in number to completely illuminate them. Several bug types hover around the light posts, and occasionally a Zubat can be seen swooping in for a shot at a meal.

Marny: Hey, Techie. You alright, little buddy?

The camera turns to reveal Marny standing just behind it, dressed in an old oversized t-shirt and black boyshorts. In the background, Elodie can be seen laying on one of the beds. She seems to be on the phone with someone, her legs kicked up as she laughs and chatters on about something in Orrish that can't be fully picked up from across the room. Juno lays on the floor with a travel-sized bottle of shampoo balanced on xer forehead. Xe seems deep in concentration.

<Bzzt! What do you mean, of course I'm fine! Why wouldn't I be fine?>

Marny: You've been staring out the window for the past hour... Is it because Ray's out there?

<... I'm just making sure they don't run away again. That's all. I'm sure they won't, but... Never hurts to be cautious! Ha...>

The camera turns to look back out the window. Ray is still there up on the roof of the ScamVan. Hasn't even moved an inch. A loud fluttering of wings and a thud can be heard as Chatot lands on the windowsill next to the camera and presses her face against the glass. Faintly, the sound of a silk scarf slitting across the fabric of Marny's T-shirt can be heard.

Marny: Oh, chill out, would you? Sorry, I was talking to the sword, not you. You've got a good reason not to chill. Look, Techie, I... I get it. I get why you're worried. Trust me, it took a minute for me to get used to the idea that they weren't going to burn all my shit to the ground again. I think they would have run off already if they wanted to. I mean, no one's really out there stopping them.

A silence hangs between us for a moment as Elodie's phone call picks up in intensity. The telltale thud of a travel-sized shampoo against thin carpet-covered concrete can be heard over the chatter.

Marny: ... Do you want me to go out there and talk to them?

<You don't have to—>

Marny: No, I think I need to. They've been out there a while. I... Don't even think they've been in the hotel room. Something is bothering them. They're just being stubborn about it.

The sound of the hotel room door opening can be heard, as well as a shuffling that indicates some sandals being put on.

Marny: Hey, guys, I'm gonna try to get Ray to get off of the van and come in here. If I'm not back in like... An hour, throw something at me.

A travel-sized shampoo whizzes just past Marny's head, bouncing off the wall with a hearty thunk, causing the camera to whip around for a moment. Marny seems less than amused.

Marny: Juno.

Juno: Whoops. Didn't catch that first part.

Marny: Didn't catch it my ass—Whatever! Maybe you'll actually shower now instead of trying to levitate the shampoo with your psychic powers that you don't have! Just! Make sure I'm not dead if I'm not back in an hour, alright? Geez...

Marny shuts the door, then can be seen walking over to the ScamVan from the window. As she stands beside the van, she can be seen talking, though her words are inaudible. Ray barely seems to respond, only really turning their head to look in the direction of Marny's voice. Eventually, she seems to groan and walk around to the back of the ScamVan, climbing up on the crooked bumper and pulling herself up onto the roof with Ray. This seems to startle them into sitting up, giving her some room to sit down too.

As Ray finally seems to be convinced to speak, they draw their knees up to their chest. Marny scoots a bit closer and slides her hand over Ray's, gently encouraging them to keep going.

The video ends as Marny gently leans into their side.>

<This transcript was provided by me, Techie! I'm a Rotom, so I might make mistakes! Let me know if I did a good job! :> >

[truly-quirkless]

Twenty Day Challenge - Day Six

As mentioned in the tags of yesterday's...headcanons about Yagi and Fin's sleeping rituals and the like.

Light sleeper, no doubt.

Sleeps on a mattress meant for heteromorphs due to his height.

His sleeping schedule is shot to utter shit because he's been called in at all hours in the past. He can- and has- passed out between classes because he accidentally stayed up the entire previous night working on grading papers.

Hilariously though...takes forever to fall asleep when he's in his bed.

Sleeps on his right side when he's not on his back (sleeping on his right side is more common).

Two blankets. Never any more than that. He used to sleep under about four, but thanks to his injury, going much higher than one feels a bit...weird- and higher than two is painful. So- two blankets it is!

Doesn't really have any leftovers from his birth parents, but every now and again he'll see certain stuffed animals in shop windows and...just...pause.

His bedroom is about as barren as the rest of his apartment, since he doesn't spend a ton of money on it.

His dreams consist mostly of old fights and standing, speaking before flashing lights.

Heavy sleeper- like- could set a bomb off next to their ear and they'd still be asleep.

However, whisper near them and they'll be awake in a nanosecond- so if you're gonna make noise, go big or go home.

Takes ages to fall asleep (listens to ambience vids/reddit stories).

Sleeps curled into a ball, whether on the right or left side...depends on how they feel.

Shifts a fucking ton in their sleep.

Sleeping schedule is just about as thick as concrete- asleep by 8PM, awake by 4AM, at the latest.

They don't even have a bed, their entire bedroom is just a mass of blankets they've collected over the years, all on the floor (several of which cover said floor).

Has several stuffed animals and posters of things they like all over the walls, unlike the rest of their apartment (which barely looks lived in).

Their dreams mostly consist of running from unknown creatures and fighting for their life.

And, when they're together...

He doesn't know how, Yagi just falls asleep far faster when Fin's around.

One time, Yagi fell asleep in Fin's lap- he woke up when they started carrying him to the bedroom, but they didn't stop.

The first few minutes when Fin's asleep, Yagi's generally still awake because they shift a lot in that time.

Both of them take melatonin on particularly rough nights.

Yagi's generally the big spoon, and Fin the little spoon.

The two have woken up in some-- strange positions due to Fin's tendency to move in their sleep.

Fin's fallen asleep on Yagi's arm a few times- and apologized profusely every time.

Both have far more gentle dreams in each other's presence.

[meatriarchived]

me when i say Fuck It to gun's timeline because two weeks is just Not Enough Time in my eyes to properly hold a missing person search throughout several counties and give them time to actually yknow. search ( debatable but at least long enough to make it seem like they "tried" yknow? ) before calling it all off.

( which also this does not have to be adopted by anyone else - im just rambling and all but i do believe two weeks is just. not enough time at all- )

maria left for that last trip during the uni of texas' spring break. which typically seems to land somewhere between early-mid march (8th-16th). meaning she disappeared in that week.

( im inclined to say maybe within the first 3-4 days of her leaving, probably after she'd been driving most of the first and stopping at random to take photos. also inclined to say she left earlier than break actually started due to how any places she probably wanted to get to ).

her car was discovered abandoned - which could have easily been moved to a different location than where she actually went missing. and that could have taken any number of days to have been reported to local sheriffs after being called in by someone passing by, and which wouldve taken longer to look into before making that house call to her family and announcing her being missing ( esp considering its the 70s so...things were much slower to be processed, searches to be formed took longer to find enough bodies to look, etc ).

so im thinking im pondering im perceiving this roughly :

beginning of march: - maria leaves a day or two before spring break actually started. - by the time break is underway, she's made it to her initial few planned stops but is taken, her car hidden briefly, to be gone through. mid-march: - by the time spring break ends and classes resumes, maria never returned to her apartment or campus. - friends probably assumed she'd gotten sick maybe or something went on back home. - her car is discovered that week being back from break, found someplace else, and family is notified. - police start the investigation and search for her once confirmed she hasnt been in contact with anyone back home since those first couple days being gone. - that first-72-hours of easily finding a missing person window now out the door which makes them less concerned of finding her alive. that coupled with the sawyer/hewitt influence around the different departments? they seem less eager to do their jobs, they appear to be avoiding sending search parties at all to look around a certain region. end of march thru april: - when ana catches winds of talks of them suspending the search by the start of april when no leads have been found i think is when she actually leaves their hometown to go find the friends, see if they know anything, come up with a plan to go searching for themselves. - danny told everything and he speed-demons back from his trade schools' training by the coast. - the friends start scouring every place they can think of that maria could have gone to - both that she'd been to before, and where she'd mentioned to them she had planned to stop at or drive past during this trip ( which i imagine must've taken them yknow. a while to do. cause i'd assume they wanted to be thorough since the police weren't. ) - they keep meeting dead ends with every place they go to til they reach newt, and ultimately come across drayton, luda, etc etc. ( insert teehee forbidden knowledge )

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ like give it at least a little over a month to give shit time to unfold and grow more frustrating and confusing yknow? give it time for hopelessness to settle in to make that excitement of hearing from the scattered family members of some possible leads refill them with the hope that maybe they've finally caught onto something!! that she was seen, that shes nearby maybe!!!

that they can maybe find her and bring her home finally!!!!!