#and everything about me is worthless in comparison

[halfdeadwallfly]

why is it that when anyone else does something good i feel like that means i'm not worth anything at all

[1d1195]

Traditional - Extra VII

Read Traditional here | ~4.1k words

Warnings: smut. 18+ only. oral (m), sex, maybe public if you believe enough. Otherwise, it's kinda fluffy

From me: idk I think Harry can be a little TOO self-loathing. And he is really so sweet and nice overall. I think he deserves some TRADITIONAL sugar-daddy CEO treatment.

Summary: Harry is a lot calmer now that the client fiasco is over. But he's still on edge. Fortunately, she has an idea to take the edge off.

Harry was much more pleased with the direction of his company now that the biggest crisis of his career was finally in the rearview mirror. Now that her arm was healed and his clients were stable, everything was much better.

Except Harry didn’t fully accept it.

It was like there was a little worm in his brain that ate at him and whispered directly into the auditorial processing space that something, at any moment, would go wrong. The other shoe would drop and he would be back at square one.

“Baby?” She interrupted his thoughts of worthlessness and impostor syndrome. God he needed to see someone. But when was there time? “I asked about dinner, it’s Monday,” she reminded him gently. His mind reeling but he wanted to focus on her.

He wasn’t angry. For the first time in months. It felt like that for everyone around him. It created an entirely different vibe in the office. People weren’t scared during meetings. He didn’t slam his phone down when something was late.

But she noticed how withdrawn he was because she knew him.

“Are you alright?” Her voice wasn’t accusatory. It was still quiet. Like she was a little afraid she would set him off. But he hadn’t bought new electronics in months. The accounting department joked they would get to decrease the furniture budget this quarter as it closed. Harry couldn’t do anything but laugh because it was true. It was the first time he felt at ease since the mess happened.

It was awful.

“M’fine,” he smiled gently at her. It was their daily meeting. The one Harry didn’t even know they had until he saw it written on her calendar back when her cramps made her sleep through it. But he knew she didn’t believe his hand-waving denial. He wasn’t fine, she knew it.

“Okay,” she sipped her drink and eyed him suspiciously.

He was looking at the papers on his desk and every little negative number made his heart skip a beat.

This wasn’t healthy.

“Are you sure?” She asked again.

That wasn’t helping him either. How perceptive she was and knowing exactly what he was feeling. It was almost annoying that she could do it. All he wanted to do was hide his feelings from her the way he was supposed to, and she made it so difficult.

God, she was perfect.

He nodded silently, not looking up at her because if he did, she would read him like an open book. She would praise him and tell him he was perfect. He didn’t want that. It was stupid, but he needed to believe it himself. It was partially his own fault. Styles Inc. suffered very few hiccups other than getting up and running. Back when he had just graduated, and he had stuffed every penny he had into the two offices he and Niall needed to get started. It grew before his eyes. He believed he was important and doing important things. He knew he was talented and doing well.

Almost having to fire her was the worst wakeup call.

“Harry,” her voice broke his thoughts again.

“Yeah, kitten?” He hummed trying to admire the green numbers on the spreadsheet before him. They were large and lovely. The red ones amounted to next to nothing in comparison. But it didn’t matter. They were terrifying.

“Baby, I just asked you if you think I should go out for drinks with a client that keeps hitting on me so that we can get a bigger contract from him, and you said that was a good idea.”

His head snapped up. Jealousy pierced his heart and ran hot through his blood in seconds. “What client hits on you?” He scowled. They were dropping said client. Effective immediately. Not even feeling like an impostor would deter him from that kind of behavior. It wouldn’t matter if they were his biggest client either. If they were hitting on her—

“You really think a client would be stupid enough to hit on me knowing you’re my boyfriend?” She asked a slight smirk on her lips.

He ran a hand over his face. Of course they wouldn’t. Harry had a scary side, and everyone knew it. If they even tried to flirt with her Harry would probably break their neck. The little jealous monster inside of his head was more powerful than the worm that told him he wasn’t talented, and he could lose it all at a moment’s notice.

And he hated that word lately. He needed to add another reminder on his phone to remedy that immediately as well. Boyfriend. It was so childish sounding. He was a successful businessman, and he had a gorgeous girlfriend who made him feel like... well... like he deserved to own such a successful company. Fiancé. Husband. That had a nicer ring to it. He needed to fix that soon.

“Harry,” she giggled.

“What?”

“You’re staring at me,” she was blushing. Looked away as she sat in the chair across from him on the other side of the desk.

He sighed and smiled tiredly. “Course,” he really looked at her again, not just spaced out like he had been doing. The way her hair fell, the way her lip gloss coated her straw. The way her nail polish chipped—he would send her for a manicure (with Eleanor so she’d actually go) even though she preferred when Harry painted them—hence the chipping.

Harry was so captivated by her. It did seem like a crime that he hadn’t given her his full attention during their coffee break. Part of him thought she should model for offices or office furniture. It was sexist and lizard-brained of him. But she was so pretty it was the only thing he could think of in that moment. Then he considered the notion of her being a professor or a doctor—even though he knew she wasn’t qualified for it. But it didn’t matter. He suspected she could do it without training. She was too lovely. The fact that she was intelligent and beautiful and nice was unfair. He didn’t deserve something so good when he could lose the biggest reason she was in his life. “You’re so pretty, kitten.”

Her cheeks turned red again. Harry thought he would explode. “Don’t change the subject.”

“M’not,” he pouted. She did the cute little nose wrinkle that made Harry’s heart skip a beat the same way the negative numbers on spreadsheets did but this time he didn’t mind.

“Your brain has been elsewhere during this whole meeting—”

“Can y’please stop calling it a meeting, kitten?” he grumbled. It felt so wrong to call it a meeting when he was in love with her. Like he needed a corporate excuse to have her sit in his office.

“Pretenses, baby. Don’t want anyone to know I’m your second favorite.”

He grunted, running a hand over his face as the irritation sank in again because of her words. “Niall is not m’favorite.”

She smiled impishly. Her cheeks looked like little apples that Harry wanted to kiss and take bites out of. Her eyes danced with mischievousness that he thought she could only have learned from Louis.

He loved her so much.

Which was why he was so mad that he was worried. If this company suffered the thought of letting her down, of telling her that he wasn’t successful anymore. He met her only because he did well and was successful. How would she love him if that wasn’t true anymore?

“Harry, I’m going to drag you to the hospital if you don’t tell me.”

“Can we talk ‘bout it at home?”

She frowned. “Oh, it’s not work related?” She asked.

He shook his head, confused as to how she would conclude such a thing. “What do y’mean?”

“Well... if it was work-related, you would tell me now. You only tell me relationship-related things at home. Which means now I have to go back to my office and conference call Louis and Eleanor and pull Niall from his work so we can discuss where I’m going to live because you can’t take the sound of me singing in the shower anymore. What’s worse is Louis will agree and he won’t want me to live with him and Eleanor either. Then I’ll have to find my own place and it won’t have room for a porch swing and—”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Kitten, shut up,” he sighed. She smiled sweetly, unperturbed by the way he said it because he sounded exhausted with her, which was almost definitely her goal. He knew she liked to annoy him—even when he was already suffering internally.

“I don’t want to say it’s your fault, baby. But if you would just tell me what—”

“I don’t feel successful.”

She tilted her head at him curiously. “You don’t?”

He shook his head feeling the nerves in every inch of his skeleton. Right down to the bone. Past the bone. Probably to the atoms or even further to each proton and neutron. Telling her made it real. Telling her anything meant he had to deal with what he was feeling because she wouldn’t let him brush it away.

She was about as bad as the worm in his head.

“Okay,” she nodded. Then there was silence.

They stared at each other for a significant moment. Harry thought it could have been ten minutes, but it might have only been ten seconds. “You’re not going t’say anything?” He asked.

She shrugged. “I could,” she smiled gently. Almost pitifully. It made Harry feel the slightest bit worse. But then she made it better. Of course she did. She made everything seem so... simple. In the best way. A point of view he hadn’t considered. “I could ask you why. Or tell you how it’s not true—all of which I do believe. But I actually think it’s kind of more serious than that. I think you went through a really difficult thing. It piled and piled and you dealt with it. More than anyone here. Because you care and love this place with everything in you,” she listed. “I think you’ll need to talk to someone more qualified than me to fully deal with it. But I will list every reason why you’re completely, totally, and simply wrong another time. When you’re not so sad looking and it won’t fall on deaf ears,” she assured him with a pointed expression that he had fallen in love with so many times over it was uncanny.

Had he mentioned he loved her so much?

“Oh,” he murmured.

She stood up, moved around his desk and leaned against the edge in front of him. Her eyes didn’t move from his and she brought a hand to his face, traced the curve of his jaw, the soft pink lips she loved so much. “Why are you worried you’re not successful?” She asked.

She really knew where to hit him where it hurt. “Y’won’t love me...if m’not successful.”

“Harry,” she cooed. “Baby—”

“I know,” he turned into her hand and kissed the center of her palm. “But I... I only met y’because m’successful. If m’not... then...”

“You know I don’t love you because you have money, right? We’ve been over this.”

“I know,” he nodded. “Really, I do. But s’like...there’s something in m’brain, kitten. I can’t turn it off and m’exhausted. After all that... I mean... y’saw. It was reallybad. Like really bad. M’still kind of worried and—what are you doing?”

“Turning your brain off,” she smiled, full of mischief once more as she slunk down to her knees. She wiggled into the space of his desk where he normally pushed his chair in. “Surely you’ve thought about this?” She asked, her hand sliding up his thigh.

Harry was suddenly illiterate. And mute. What was she talking about? Were they talking about something? The only thing he could hear was his uneven breath and the clinking sound of his belt and zipper. “Oh,” he groaned as her lips mouthed at the outline of his dick against his briefs.

“Cause I’ve thought about it. A lot.”

“You have?” He murmured dumbly.

She nodded, looking up at him from between his legs, crammed under his desk. It was a fantasy he hadn’t even imagined before thirty seconds prior and there she was: making it come true. Her lashes seemed so long, and her hand was massaging him through his underwear. His heart was pounding. All thoughts of negative numbers were gone.

She deserved a raise.

Her fingers hooked around his underwear, and she tugged on them, pulling him free. He didn’t even realize he was straining against the fabric. Within seconds her lips enveloped around him, and she sucked quickly. Hard. Everything was warm and wet instantly.

Harry had done this before with the companions he had found on the very website he found her, but he wished he never had because this was her. She was so perfect. She was everything he wanted. She was beneath his desk making him feel important and it was so ridiculous for him to feel that way but it worked. It was working.

Her mouth was meant to be around him. At least that was the way it felt. It never felt like this. She didn’t even care about herself. Which was fine because Harry would return whatever she gave him now plus interest. For the first time in a year, he felt utterly relaxed. Her head bobbing up and down the length of him. He put a hand on the back of her head, and she moaned softly sending a vibration through him and up to his chest. His cheeks felt hot. Not that he was embarrassed. But it was so much rapid blood flow. Everywhere. He was going to lose his mind.

There was a knock on the door.

She froze but didn’t remove her mouth from him. Harry grumbled a curse under his breath, carefully tucked himself further the edge of his desk without bumping her too much or crushing her. “Yeah?” He called tentatively.

Her lips focused on the tip of him making him struggle to maintain his composure.

“She’s not here?” Niall frowned from the doorway.

Harry shook his head staring at the screen trying not to let his best friend know that his girlfriend and Niall’s very favorite coworker was crammed beneath his desk and sucking him for all he was worth. Even though Niall was right there. “Ran an errand,” her tongue slid down the underside of him silently. He cleared his throat, shifted. Hoping she wouldn’t torture him in front of his best friend. When did she get so brave?

Oh. Traditional. That’s what that meant. Harry thought to himself.

“When she gets back can you ask her where the file from yesterday’s meeting is? I don’t want to mess with her organizational system,” she dug her nails into his thigh not very hard but so her presence was known. As if the thought of Niall messing with her system really was the worst thing he could do in that moment.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t,” Harry chuckled. But the movement made him shift in her mouth which nearly sent him cross-eyed. He cleared his throat again.

“You okay? She’s been worried about you.”

“M’fine,” he rolled his eyes.

She silently sucked harder as if to prove a point. Moved him further down her throat. Harry took a deep breath to maintain any semblance of control he had left over the situation. Which was very little.

“I like that she worries about you.”

“It’s unnecessary,” Harry muttered. To both of them.

���When are you going to marry her?” Niall asked.

That paused her. She released him, peered up through those sinful lashes and smiled more mischievously than he had ever seen. Harry shifted. Silently and blindly lining himself up with her mouth again to keep her from saying I knew it or just generally giving herself away in front of Niall. She obligingly took his length down her throat again and it was a miracle she didn’t make a sound with the amount of spit lodged in her mouth. “Soon,” he assured Niall.

“She left her cell in the office,” he said. “Hopefully she’s with the driver or something.”

“Yeah, I called for him,” he wanted Niall out. “What time are we teeing off tomorrow?” He asked the last bout of normalcy he had left in him. Her lips were dragging so slowly over him it felt nearly painful. The moment Niall left he was going to come.

“Nine fifteen.”

He nodded. “Alright, I’ll be by later for the new account model for—” He coughed as her fingers danced along the inside of his thighs, reaching for the space of his cock that didn’t fit in her mouth as well as underneath— “Excuse me,” he covered his mouth over the fake cough before dropping his hand to his lap—her head—and pushed ever so slightly toward the back of her throat. Fortunately, his phone rang. Niall nodded waving him off; allowing him to tend to his phone call—that he was not going to answer.

“I got it,” he assured him and closed the door.

Harry yanked from her mouth, shoved from the desk, barely pulling his pants up at all. He hurried across his office to twist the lock on his door. Once turned around, she was already there, knelt before him again and sucking him into her warm mouth again. Sucking hard. It was probably loud. Wet. Anyone that happened to be by his door at that moment would know what was happening on the other side. Maybe they would make a rumor. Maybe they would assume it was her—neither of which Harry wanted. “Not here, kitten,” he groaned quietly and lifted her begrudgingly from her knees. He pulled her toward the bathroom. He briefly thought of the first time he was in there with her, knelt himself, to take her shoe off and Louis and Eleanor assumed he was prepared to do something he loved doing to her and strongly considered doing it again. Just as he lifted her bum onto the counter she stopped him.

“Nope,” she slid down again. Knelt once more. “Said it was turning your brain off,” she reminded him. Her lips around his dick once again. Now, with an office separating them from the rest of the company, she openly slurped. Made obscene noises that would satisfy him just fine on business trips where he didn’t get to take her with him and leave him with nothing but fantasies before falling asleep in a lonely hotel room. He slammed the bathroom door shut just for further privacy.

He groaned lowly, meeting the bob of her head as gently as he could so as not to cause her to struggle but enjoying the warmth of her mouth and throat. Her lips looked so sexy around him he wasn’t going to last much longer at all. “Love,” he tilted his head back. “Y’need to—”

“Shh,” she pulled back, pressing the most chaste of kisses along his length which was an oxymoron. “Just worry about you,” she hummed. “Please?”

Harry groaned his hands gathering her hair at the back of her head as she slipped her mouth down as much of him as she could take and it felt so good it made him

“Aw fuck, kitten, s’good,” he groaned and held her in place as he released in her mouth. His breath was ragged, his hips stuttering slightly. She continued sucking even though it was sensitive. Even though it was more than he deserved.

“Do you really think I would stop loving you because you didn’t have money?” She asked, fluttering her lashes. Voice the slightest bit hoarser.

He lifted her from her knees, putting her on the counter again and shoved her dress up to her hips. Thank God she wore a dress. “This underwear is ripped,” he grumbled.

She frowned. “It is? It’s my favorite I didn’t notice a rip when I put them on this mor—”

But she didn’t realize he was predicting the future. He pulled on the nylon cotton blend with so much force her already hoarse voice died in her throat. He groaned, tossing them on the floor. He lined himself up with her entrance and brought her bum to the edge so the sharp corner dug into her flesh. It would leave a bruise and the only thought that was left in her head was that Harry would kiss it and make it better later.

His length slid inside her so effortlessly. She should have been embarrassed how turned on she was sucking him off—especially when Niall got to the office but she couldn’t help it. Now the length that had felt so good in her throat was making her core ache. He thrusted into her quickly. Hardly letting her breathe or realize what was happening, but it felt so good. She was moaning into the curve of shoulder. Clinging to him. “Baby, I—”

“S’good kitten. S’good. I love you so fucking much,” his hips were relentless. All thought escaping her mind. A fire could have broken out in the shower and she wouldn’t have moved—couldn’t have moved.

“Oh wow,” she sighed as Harry pulled her closer to him—her legs wound around his waist. Her butt barely on the counter. Her eyes fluttered with each thrust. “Oh, oh my God,” she moaned. “You’re—”

“Gonna come on m’cock, kitten,” it was a question. Or a command. She didn’t know. It was both. Neither. Part of her wondered if he even said anything.

But she did. She did come on his cock. Hard. She fluttered around him for what felt like minutes. Hours. Centuries. Color ceased to have meaning. There was no sound. That was heaven. She was sure. A blasphemous thought that she didn’t even have the strength to laugh about because she was deliriously good.

Her voice was hoarser than only moments before. Her face tucked into his shoulder and her breath shaky as he pushed her further back toward the mirror at the end of the counter behind the sink. Further from him. Her cheeks were flushed, and she could only imagine what he had done to her hair. But his pupils were massive. His lips pinker than ever. His chest heaved.

Clearing her throat, she gently tucked him back into his pants. Then tucked in his shirt too. With the same delicateness as she did with his cock. It was intoxicating. Made him want to go another thousand rounds with her. “So, in conclusion,” she whispered. “I will love you whether you have a kajillion dollars or one dollar,” she looked up at him, cheeks burning.

“That was very sexy, kitten,” his eyelids practically fluttered.

“I...” she cleared her throat. “I surprised myself, actually.”

“We should do this more often,” he pulled her skirt down and brought her closer to the edge of the counter again. She hissed at the contact against the bruise that was definitely forming. He frowned. “Oh, love m’sorry,” he cupped her face and gazed at her. “Was I too rough? I shouldn’t have—”

“Harry, if I didn’t fear for the stability of my leg muscles I would probably bend over your desk for you.” He swore under his breath. “You did bruise my butt though.”

“No good deed,” he mumbled and lifted her gently from the counter. His hand cupping her backside and gently rubbing each cheek as if it were normal. But it felt normal.

She nuzzled into his chest and sighed contentedly. “Niall’s going to see right through me,” she murmured.

“I’ll fire him again if he makes y’uncomfortable.”

She snorted and laughed, tilting her head up to look at him. “You are my favorite person Harry Styles. I love you so much. Even if you ruined my favorite pair of underwear.”

He smiled as mischievously as she had earlier in the day. “I’ll buy you more...a hundred pairs of them. Then I’ll ruin them all again,” he promised, then pressed his mouth firmly against hers. A gentle, soft kiss in comparison to all they did in the span of half an hour. “I love you too.”

She grinned. “Say it again.”

He shook his head at her, kissed her forehead, effectively turning her to mush, which was probably his plan so she couldn’t deny his next request. “Stop calling our coffee break a meeting.”

But her senses were returning. The ones that weren’t primal and horny about how massive Harry’s dick was in her mouth. She was going to say something funny; he could see it in the glint in her eye. “Well, I can’t put ‘sex’ on your calendar now can I?”

--

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[alpaca-clouds]

So, which Drow House kidnapped Halsin?

Fuck it. This morning @adelar-plays posted this excerpt of the dialogue you can have with Halsin about his time as, well, a sex slave to the drow. tl;dr: If you play as a drow with a noble background in the game, you get some extra dialogue options and through it learn that the House Halsin had been captured by was not just destroyed, but is looked upon very poorly by other drow. Badly enough that working for any surviving members might get you into trouble.

And my very first thought about it was: Wait, was he captured by House Oblodra? (Aka: Araj's House?) Sure, Araj does not react to him or he to Araj (Or does he? Has anyone tried?), but Araj's dialogue does imply that she was fairly young when House Oblodra fell.

However, there are other options of course. Let me go through them all.

Now, what we know: Halsin is about 350 years old. This happened when he was a "young druid" (though your guess is as good as mine what he might consider "young"). And it definitely happened before the Shadowcurse was cast. So at the very least he escaped the Underdark more than a hundred years ago.

So, the drow house in question must have fallen between about 300 and 100 years ago. That much is fairly certain. So, between ca. 1190 and 1390DR.

Before I go into the list of possible Houses, let me quickly go into what the houses are:

The drow are a matriarchal people, and usually group themselves into Houses. The most apt comparison for those Houses - at least among the drow of Menzoberrazan - is basically mafia families, that are usually organized around one matriarch. Most of the Houses have their own little army, and just tons, and tons of slaves. (Look, in Menzo there is about 5 slaves for every drow living there. Most slaves are goblins or minotaurs, but there are also other races.) The Houses are in constant rivalry with each other to become the most influencial House of the city. And if you as a drow do not belong to a House, you are basically worthless.

So, which Houses were disbanded in the timeframe?

House Celofraie got destroyed in a conflict with House Agrach Dyrr in 1367 DR. We do not know the reason, but it was probably simply a rivalry between the Houses. The same goes for House Mlin'thobbyn and House Syr'thaerl.

House Do'Urden is one that we know a lot about, duh, because Drizzt is such an important character for the lore. The House was originally very important, but lost the favor of Lolth after Drizzt saved a normal elven kid on the surface. This led to the destruction of the House in 1338 DR.

House Elec'thil got destroyed at some point between 1327 and 1367 DR. The exact reason was never given.

House Bron'tej got destroyed in 1227 after a conflict with House Barrison Del'Armgo.

House Kenafin and House Horlbar were disbanded in 1383 DR, though the members of both Houses together formed the new House of Melarn.

House Srune'Lett nearly started a drow civil war and got subsequently destroyed in 1372 DR.

House Tuin'Tarl got destroyed in 1383 DR, after trying to attack House Kenafin and House Horlbar. In a revenge attack, obviously.

House Teken'duis had a rivalry with House Freth. When trying to assassinate their leaders, they failed - and in return the family fell into shame and was susequently executed by the ruling council of the city. This was in 1319DR.

House DeVir formed an alliance with some gnomes in an attempt to overthrow one of the other houses. Because Lolth hates everything not-drow, they lost the favor of Lolth. House Do'Urden took advantage of this and destroyed the House in 1297.

House Oblodra, as we all knew, allied with some illithids. Now mind you, this was seen as somewhat okay for about 2000 years, allowing some members of the house to develop psionic magic. Until some members of the members of the house got about the same idea that Gortash and Durge had: "Hey, if we use magic on the tadpoles and put them into people's brains, we can mind control them and take over the city." Which went about as well as it went for Gort and Durge, ending with the destruction of the House and Exile of all members in 1358DR. It should be noted that this is the one house, where Lolth took an active role in their distruction, sending demons to destroy them.

So, based on this information and the dialogue that was shared...

Again, I will disregard the entire "when I was young", because your guess is as good as mine to what Halsin considers "young". But the other information given there is more interesting: The fact that if you associated with the House, you might lose the favor of other drow/might actually get into trouble.

Because to me that tells me that the House in question was not destroyed in a rivalry. So we can disregard pretty much all of the Houses that were destroyed in a simple conflict with another House of the city without any further information given. It makes me assume that the House in question has lost the favor of Lolth, making them outcasts among the other Lolth-alligned drow.

That leaves the potential candidates of:

House Do'Urden

House DeVir

House Oblodra

With the vague possibility that it could also be Teken'duis. With them it is not quite clear whether they still have the favor of Lolth or not.

So, yeah. It could obviously also have been a not before named House in the city. But if it is among one of the Houses in question, it should be one of those three (or four).

Make of that what you want. One way or another, there is a chance that either Drizzt, Viconia, or Araj might have met him - even if they do not remember him necessarily. Given that to them he might have just been "another slave".

Bonus:

Since we know that he was with the House for 3 years, before he escaped in the chaos of the House being destroyed, we can also calculate Halsin's age at the time.

If he had been a prisoner of House Do'Urden, he would have been around 190 to 200 years at the time. Had he been a prisoner of House DeVir, he would have been between 150 and 160 years. And had he been a prisoner of House Oblodra, he would have been 210 to 220 years old. (Just rough estimates, as I do not assume he is exactly 350 years old.)

[alphajocklover]

I’ve always been a nerdy guy and did theater in high school. But I always wished I could be a big hot jock. Do you think you could send me back and make me a huge muscular horny wrestler jock or something?

You want me to send you back? As in, take you back in time, or as in deage you back to highschool age? I’m going to be honest, I really hope you’re just asking me to deage you, because time travel can get so fucking complicated. Plus, being a teenager today is a lot better than being a teenager in the past. Obviously not everything is better than it was before. There's been an increase in school violence overtime, and well I can’t prove it, I swear to god that they give kids more homework every year. But if you went to the past you wouldn’t have the internet or social media, and I have a feeling those are going to come in handy later. So, let's just deage you. 

You might notice you’re not actually that much younger. You were 22 before, right? Well I know you probably wanted to be deaged into a freshman and experience all of highschool as a hunk, but as a rule I don’t transform anyone under 18, and that includes deaging someone to be under 18. 18 is the lowest I’ll go. Plus, everyone knows senior year is the best year of high school. There's less stress, more fun, and unless you’re a major loser you’re automatically cooler than anyone in the grades below you. And you, the new you, are anything but a loser. See, while I won’t deage you past 18, I can still change your past. In this new reality I’m creating for you, you’re not a theater kid. You’ve never been anything close to a theater kid. You’re not even just a wrestling jock. You’re a fucking wrestling prodigy. You’ve been huge, incredibly huge, ever since you were a kid. No ones quite sure how it happened. One day you just started to shoot up and out, and never seemed to stop. Your middle school wrestling coach noticed your potential, and ever since you’ve been dedicated to wrestling. As time has gone on you’ve only gotten larger and larger. Most kids who go through an early growth spurt end up small, but not you. Every year you get taller, hairier, and beefier. Every year you get fucking better, and you’re well aware of it.

Now, you’re an 18 year old stud, the big man on campus. You dominate the ring, and everywhere else you go. You’re the kind of guy who gets anything you want by virtue of your being. The kind of guy who has been worshiped by the school, students and teachers alike, because of your athletic prowess. The kind of guy who fucks a twink in the locker room after every wrestling practice. You’re exactly the manly, horny, wrestling jock you used to fantasize about being. The kind of guy who would never have paid attention to someone like the old you, because he’s just that worthless in comparison.

I hope you enjoy your new life. I set up an instagram account for you to show off your amazing self. I figured you’d do great on instagram, and from the amount of likes your first post is getting, I can safely say I was right. Enjoy your new life. Soon you’ll outgrow this small town and highschool and go on to rule your college with a manly iron fist. I can’t wait to watch. **Hey guys! Been a bit! Got really busy but don't worry, I'm keeping at it with this blog. Hope you guys like it!**

[zukosdualdao]

i know some people take the moment of azula speaking up in the flashback to the war meeting in sozin's comet as azula trying to "protect zuko" after he starts (while carefully choosing his words) disagreeing with ozai, but i really can't see it that way.

even aside from the fact that i don't think we should ever argue that her advocating for genocide here was a good thing, based on everything else about their relationship, i can't see this moment as anything but her once again trying to establish dominance and superiority over zuko. it actually reminds me of a different scene, all the way back from the flashbacks in zuko alone.

in both situations, ozai is testing his children in a way, and when zuko can't or won't give the "right answer", azula interjects and is able to say exactly what he wants to hear.

in zuko alone, of course, ozai is asking them questions that seem to be related to whatever (heavily inundated with propaganda, clearly) schooling they get. something that i find really interesting is that zuko doesn't seem to only struggle with firebending, but with his schooling as well. which isn't exactly surprising: abused kids often have trouble in school, and that seems particularly likely when ozai is already treating zuko like he is weak, incompetent, and unworthy in other areas. it's a self-fulling prophecy, on ozai's part: he demeans zuko for not being good at firebending (and perhaps for not being good in school), and, because kids are very naturally going to clam up and not get better at something when they're treated as worthless for any perceived flaw, it affects his ability to build his skills or performance in school.

but i think there's also a way in which zuko probably struggles to keep up in school because he's receptive to the values ursa tries to instill in him from a young age. he probably doesn't realize the things they are learning are things that are morally wrong, but there's a way, at this point, in which he can't relate to them, can't understand the motives of why it would be considered a good thing to defeat an enemy in such a brutal way when it runs so counter to the values of kindness ursa is trying to instill in her children, be it by explaining that throwing bread at turtleducks is not nice or that we shouldn't wish death on other family members.

by contrast, the emphasis on azula here is that she's clearly fully bought into the propaganda, that she respects and admires the brutality of the tactics. (also, is it just me, or does she sound a little like she's reciting a textbook, albeit with a lot of glee?) and notably, at the end, when she gets the answer 'right', she side-eyes zuko with a smug smirk. just like she does in sozin's comet as she's told she's right.

just for comparison's sake:

the situation in the sozin's comet flashback is different, of course, because they're not being quizzed on their schoolwork so much as they are being asked to put what they've learned about war and tactics into practice. zuko has a lot more understanding now than he did as a much younger child of the realities of war because he's seen it up close. and because of that, not only can he not condone or suggest any of the brutal and egregious tactics that are clearly expected of him, but he actually says something in defense of the earth kingdom, albeit trying to choose his words carefully, and with ozai (quite possibly willfully?) misinterpretating them.

to suggest that azula is protecting zuko here is its own form of a willful misinterpretation. you have to ignore the entire context of their relationship, azula's established motivations, and the tone of the scene itself to come to that conclusion. she does not interrupt zuko to keep him from saying something that will get him hurt, but because she wants to prove once again that she's better, that she's right and he's wrong, that he’ll never catch up. but zuko is starting to realize that he doesn’t and shouldn’t want to.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Who would you think would most likely to baby trap their barling in Obey me? Take your top four pick and why?

The tactic of baby-trapping is a hefty one. One that pales in comparison to these devils' powers and connection to you with their pacts. In the devil dom, they already have an advantage over you anyway so this is more of a psychological thing. Whether it's to satisfy his psyche or to control yours these are my top picks…

Mammon

He is the avatar of greed 

who better than he to own you in a way that actually manifests a child

“Better off sticking with me! You’ll need my help to raise the coolest little copy of me!” 

Its honestly probably an accident 

But as long as he gets to keep you by his side so be it

At first, he’s just not fully aware of the responsibilities that come with having a baby

And boy is he winded

He can’t run out because you and Lucifer are willing to chain him down to help

So he’ll suffer the long nights and the wailing as you both just get used to raising an infant

But once he gets past the dread he’s elated

Not only does the love of his life stay by his side forever but he has a cute kid to prove it

He won’t tell you that though

“Hah?! Love ‘em? I tolerate the little booger at best! Hey! Don’t hold him like that, you’ve got to be gentle!”

A doting father to the max 

and even being more attentive if not more obsessive with you

“I bet you thought the great Mammon would leave you to rot! Fear not I only left to get takeout…and diapers.”

“Mammon!”

“...and the heads of those demons that were talkin’ bad about ya…”

“Mammon!”

“What?! It was on the way!”

Asmodeus

Oddly enough he does it because of self-esteem 

Whether it's yours or his it's up to you

If it's yours he’s just tired of you looking down on yourself

And using it as an excuse not to be with him

Well if you're so certain you're not the most gorgeous human in existence then why are you pregnant with the child of the most beautiful devil in devil dom

If it's not your self esteem it's his 

Your divine.

He knows it you know it

And so does everyone else 

He’s not afraid of you beating him

He’s afraid of the crowd that follows

“Wow (Y/n)-chan your so popular…they seem to like you an awful lot...”

He’s never felt so insecure about himself before

How will the world know your his 

…better than with a product of your bond

“Wow! Aren’t they the cutest?! They’ve got my looks!” 

Youtuber kid all the way

Your child is more likely to be on more magazine covers than their father himself

Which makes it harder to escape if that was ever an option in the first place

But that doesn’t mean he still doesn’t feel the need to pick off your most avid fans

Especially the fans and theorists that notice your worried gaze and the possessive hold on your hip

“Oya you really captured their emotions that way! Too bad we can’t have you ruining their Winter debutant. Don’t be too sad! You are having the most beautiful demon be the one to end your worthless ugly life.”

Barbatos

Even with your summoner status, he’s a tough demon to beat

The power of time and teleportation are on his side

Which can make for a maddening punishment if you try to escape him

“Oh, so you insist on running, then? Fine but I’m not privy to keep doing this with you.”

Its also just easier to keep your mind on him this way

Since you're so insistent on trying to run he might as well make it impossible for you to do so 

Emotionally at first

This doubles as his claim to ownership and a way to halt you from running ever again

As a butler to the king, everything he has is to serve his master

Even you are allowed to be in his possession its because his master lets him or doesn’t know

But a child

His and your child 

That's something he can fully own

It works with your mind as well

Leaving you to either make the heartless decision to abandon your child 

or to stay and have no choice but to grapple with this constant piece of him 

That is if he lets it get that bad

Again with time as a tool, he can make it so everything he says and does makes perfect sense

“Let’s have a baby, my love. It’d be death all over again if you won’t indulge me.” 

“Oh Barbs, I was thinking just the same!”

Diavolo

Has to be given the idea

It's not going to be his first thought

“Won’t that be cool! Then we could be together all the time! Just the three of us!”

Whether its Barbatos or you scoffing at his behavior something gives him the bright idea

Like most things, he’ll be upfront

He doesn’t really need to stake his claim 

He’s the prince of devil dom 

The very clothes on your back say you belong irrevocably to him

it's more like he believes it’ll make your relationship better

You’ll be more willing to have fun not run if your child demands it

Right?

“Wow! Good job you managed to get them all in perfect order!” 

“Good job!? They killed half the staff for a demented dominoes game!”

“...”

“That's a bad thing!”

“R-right! That's a bad thing just like your mother says!”

[pixie05love]

I've read 287, and I wanted to ramble about Igaguri and Isagi because... I got nothing else to talk about from this chapter besides that, honestly (the loml Ness has not made his comeback yet, I want to scream and die)

I wanted to yap about these panels:

In this chapter, the art style peeked here imo. Finally, Nomura put some respect on Igaguri, and I liked it since he's always been more of a comedic relief than anything else. So, I'm glad to see how seriously this scene was taken in the visual aspect. It helped to make me feel bad for him.

(Sorry guys, I don't hate him, I do find him a bit annoying at times, but, well, that was his purpose, i think? he's also part of the cast, so he has to have his moment, too. Let the monk have a few panels before he leaves)

I also liked Isagi's words for him, but...

I had mixed feelings with this line in particular:

"I'm only here because you were here."

At first, I thought it didn't make any sense for him to say that because... did Isagi and Igaguri really have such a strong friendship? Or did Igaguri impact him that much for Isagi to say that?

I tried to think of relevant scenes between them and compared them with other characters like idk Bachira, Rin, Kaiser... because I think these characters were more impactful on Isagi's character than Igaguri.

But I thought it was an unfair comparison.

Except for Bachira ofc, Rin and Kaiser are not Isagi's friends, and unlike Igaguri, they've never got to see Isagi grow to the one we know now. I think this is why we don't doubt Bachira's friendship with Isagi since they've grown in this together. Therefore, it's only fair to accept that Igaguri also had some sort of friendship with Isagi just... not as strong as with Bachira, I suppose.

Igaguri had been with Isagi since the very first day they got in Blue Lock. They saw their most pathetic side when they realised they were the worst players, they saw eachother fail matchs, they shared their questionable for a growing teenage meals, they also worked to reach higher positions to play and train together again on the NEL with the number one striker Noa... They practically saw each other grow! (yeah, I'm surprised too that Igaguri made it to here, but if Noa substituted Kunigami for him, it must have been because he, for once at least, saw potential in his plays [the foul tactic worked on RIN two times so... I think we can say he worked hard for that moment xd])

They did share moments together, and if I'm not wrong, I think Isagi came up with some tactics while training with Igaguri (I'm sorry, I don't remember how exactly the scene went. I just have a vague memory of it happening :/)

What I'm trying to say is that, in this scene, I think Isagi was acknowledging Igaguri's value as an individual.

Just right after Igaguri was begging Noa to let him stay because he hadn't any value in the market yet, meaning, he was worthless (because that's what a capitalistic society wants you to believe, so you think of ways to explotait yourself to move as much money as possible for them). Just when Igaguri's fate was scripted again by another superior figure (Noa) like his parents did with him (or God fated for him, as you wish to view it), enforcing this sentiment of worthlessness on him:

Isagi comes to pat his head and reminds him that he does have value for him. Isagi recognises Igaguri, despite Noa's words or the numbers on the charts, because Igaguri's individual made his possible.

Honestly, I think that resonated a lot with me. These kids are being treated like any other product from the market, expecting them to rationalise all their actions in order for them to detach their feelings from everything they go through, making it easier to manipulate them into accepting this materialistic view of the sport that gave meaning to their lives.

So, Isagi (the one who now calls himself a machine that only wants to score goals, victim of said society) reminding Igaguri that he is not worthless and that he's actually glad of meeting him despite what the world may value or not from him... idk but it was SO emotional!

I think everyone must have felt, at least, a tiny little bit bad for Igaguri here.

Although, I do think they should have had more scenes together, and Kaneshiro should have explored more Igaguri's characters because religion and fate are very recurring themes in bllk

It would have made their interaction even more emotional and meaningful. I think this is why it threw me off at first. Igaguri was not AS impactful to Isagi as the scene tries to make us believe... (unless I've forgotten some scene between them that proves otherwise ofc)

this sucks tbh because I don't think we'll see Igaguri again after this one bruh

I still think their moment together was good. Nomura did amazing, Kaneshiro could have done with Igaguri better IMO

but that's it. I don't think I added anything valuable with this post but I wanted to get this out

Have y'all a good day, evening or night<33

[buffkitties]

Please do the Komaeda's morals analysis

Okay, so first I think that I should explain something here. Everybody is morally grey, there’s no doubt about that. The terms “good” and “bad” person always bothered me because they’re unnecessary labels painting the world and our minds in black and white, while in reality it is all a spectrum of grey, varying from person to person based on how they had grown up perceiving the world. While adopting standards, many people (such as myself) will follow them, but they might not always feel right. Some people, instead, will stick to what feels right rather than agreeing with the majority because they’d rather stay honest to themselves, which most of the time goes against social norms.

We are shaped by everything in our environment, from the smallest things to the bigger ones, like the media. Our families, friends, peers, even strangers shape us. Observing the world around us, seeing how two people interact, seeing how people do not interact, etc. Not only people, but the lack of them is what shapes us, too.

Rules were set to be followed, but what are rules if not a thing to be broken? What truly makes a rule, if it can be bent and shaped however we please, anyway? Let’s take a simple one, for example: “Do not kill.”  That can be justified in many different ways, based on how the scenario played out, and many people do not consider that rule necessary. Why? It’s because by observing the world, their beliefs were shaped differently from yours, and they act and think different from you. Nobody is the same.

Deep down, we don’t have a path laid out in front of us. We make it ourselves and we do it by interacting with the world.

Now, a similar matter is at hand in Danganronpa—the plot is heavily surrounded around societal norms and standards, which we see every step of the way, from the very beginning even before Izuru Kamukura came to existence. It is a bit different from ours, so I will do my best to explain it. Talent is everything. People learn that talent is what makes the world great and what dominates everything else, worthless in comparison. Komaeda says so himself in his speech:

I’m sure we’ve all been taught this way. Even if we weren’t told directly, we should be able to see it for ourselves, from the world around us. The “messages overflowing with hope” that are shown on TV, the Internet and the news tell us this… People who can’t win…people who don’t do their best…and people who do their best but still can’t win…they’re all the same worthless trash.

From the moment they’re born, people are clearly divided into those who have value and those who don’t. Worthless people will never be able to become someone with value, no matter how hard they try… “Hard work leads to success”…what a misunderstanding! The world isn’t that simple. No matter how hard a small dog tries, it’ll never become a big dog… No matter how hard a penguin tries, it’ll never be able to fly… In other words…a worthless person will always be worthless, no matter what they do. You don’t “become” a talented person…you’re born with that potential. Yes…just like all of you. That’s why I look up to you. Unlike our world, Danganronpa’s universe heavily values hope and talent, or what they call ultimates, if you may. Even average people are considered worthless compared to that. Talent is important because it breeds and creates hope, which keeps their world going and holds great potential for the future, and for that hope, most people would do anything. Average people are a majority, which makes talent ever more precious because it’s something much greater than all of them combined.

To us, it might seem strange because we do not live in a world like that, but it would be just like any other problem we have. Those who have privilege (the talented) are often unmoved by the problems, do not notice them, or it is subconsciously engraved in their minds that they are superior in a way, or that they hold some sort of power, and even if they aren’t aware of that themselves, they still act on it the way they learned to by observing the world. The world is in their favour, and everybody is aware of that one way or another. Denying it simply doesn’t work, that’s just ignorant, or pointless.

The world was always corrupted, before Junko Enoshima even ever took her first step.

The Natsumi Kuzuryuu case, the deaths of the student council, The Kamukura Project, Komaeda’s suspension—they were all just examples of that corruption.

Why mention Komaeda’s suspension along all the other examples? That’s actually very simple. They expelled everybody who was involved except Komaeda, for his talent. It was something they didn’t understand, but found worthy of keeping because it was powerful and if utilised, could provide a great opportunity. Despite it being Komaeda’s plan, he was never directly involved due to his SHSL Luck excluding him from the situation and bringing out the plan through others, but in the end, his intentions came out just as he intended.

They found it worth keeping, so they excused Komaeda’s actions if not outright covered them up.

The Kamukura Project in itself is a very good example, too, although everybody knows of it by now (I assume). The reserve course at Hope’s Peak Academy was opened for the sake of creating the embodiment of talent. They created a scenario in which every student attending would pay a huge fee, which they would use for the project to then exploit a single person and turn their worthlessness into something of use. A tool for creating hope. In the process, they removed everything that would stand in the way of that (or so they thought), including memory, numbing Hinata’s feelings, and getting rid of his identity entirely to make him into a tool of their own—the ultimate hope. No regard for his life whatsoever, because he was worthless. He became the school's ideas, right to the rotten core, and he was used as intended, although not in a way they wanted to.

So where does Komaeda stand in all of this?

He views the world exactly as it was shown to him: People who have no talent are considered worthless, people who have talent hold all the potential.

So why does he view himself as worthless, despite being talented? That’s because his talent cannot be used for creating hope, and it does as it pleases, holding no potential whatsoever. His talent holds a pattern, but it cannot be controlled and wherever he goes, it will spread horrible misfortune to anybody it wants. There’s no hope in that scenario, not at all—there is nothing to look forward to, nothing to use for his future, nothing to give other people, nothing that would make something great. It’s just fate, luck and then misfortune, and that talent means nothing in that kind of world. I said this before, but Komaeda doesn’t insult himself because he loathes himself, but because “realistically” speaking, he is worthless. When people treat him horribly, he assumes that’s because of talent, because that is how worthless people are treated (that doesn’t mean he likes it), not because he says weird things, since he considers them perfectly normal and he’s surprised to think they don’t understand his beliefs. To him, they were obvious facts and he was simply following what the world told him, so it was weirder to see them think differently.

Komaeda doesn’t necessarily care about talent. He looks up to talented people because he could never be like them, just like anybody else would, but he still sees them as people, and he doesn’t even like most of them, just tolerates them and respects them like anybody else, while also remembering the fact that they’re superior to him. Again, he doesn’t blindly idolise them, and he expresses his distaste for their actions or even personalities. Many times, you can see him comment on the things they do, and he very clearly states that even if a talented person like them crosses the line, he will not hesitate to stop them, forcibly if he has to. Why? Because they’re still people, and the thought to excuse an action of theirs just because they’re talented doesn’t even come to his mind.

Actual important things to him are always about respecting others. Harassment, SA, homophobia, racism, misogyny, ableism, etc. Based on how he acts, you can easily tell that he would not tolerate those, and that he’s against them. Whenever he sees something like that, he intervenes, no questions asked. For example, Hanamura’s disgusting behaviour, or even smaller things, like when he says that he would rather consider somebody’s feelings than feed someone else’s curiosity.

When it comes to talent, like I said, he sees it just as the world does, but that doesn’t change the fact that he respects everybody, and that if someone goes against what he believes, he wouldn’t care about whether they’re talented or not. Many people write his interactions with Hinata as bullying or harassing him, but he would never—In fact, he would defend him if somebody was not giving him basic human respect.

That being said, respecting people might actually be the only thing where he draws the line, and the only strong standard that he holds for others.

Even as he speaks of things like hope, or despair, it all comes back to respect. Respect somebody’s life. Their death, use it for a greater cause to give it a meaning and do not let it go in vain. Put respect on their name, on their sacrifice.

Just doing things that cause pain and misery is disrespectful and meaningless, causing despair for the sake of despair, or for the sake of simply doing it, treats one’s life as if it meant nothing. Suicide, dying to a disease, or being murdered for nothing at all, all of those examples follow a simple rule:

Your life is disrespected.

Things like that should only be done for a reason, a good reason.

Also, many people think that Komaeda would blindly admire Hinata for having every talent, but it would be the opposite. He would feel disgusted to know how badly they disrespected his life for something like artificial talent, and it’s been proven already that Komaeda is the only one who respects him enough to see him completely as who he was, who he met before he turned into Izuru Kamukura, and that whatever talent they put into him didn’t matter, because he saw the person he was. He saw Hajime Hinata, not the life of a person they destroyed for their sick wants.

(which the DR3 anime portrayed really badly btw lmao)

He would detest the whole project and he would treat him like a normal person, and who he was, rather than what they made him.

Yeah, there are many things that could slip past Komaeda, but only as long as there’s a good reason and as long as it’s not disrespectful to someone.

With that, I think I’ve said enough. This is the only thing that truly matters to him and what guides his actions and behaviour. It links to everything he does and say.

[beiibeiii]

Kafka Angst, delicious, thankyou for the food. Okay this was from 11:49-12:21 jeez im tired.

Anyways, here’s thing for you!

“…I remember one morning it was just like any other, you brought coffee and I brought sweets. I remember, you spilled a little of my coffee on the table and made a surprised sound, but despite that, you looked up at me and you laughed. Your eyes were shining in the morning light— In hindsight really.. They’d always done that. A little bit brighter, with the golden sun. That’s the moment I realized I was really truly hopelessly in love with you. I told myself it was a longer mission than usual. That’s all, and yet I couldn’t stop liking you past our little meetings in the morning. I couldn’t help but want to ask more and more about yourself, the silly, little details unrelated to Elio’s script.”

At least, that’s what Kafka would like to say to you. Instead she watched through your window as you cried. Illuminated only by moonlight. It looked as though a meteor shower might be streaking across your face— quick and bright slashes. A sky full of grief, guilt, longing. Kafka couldn’t help but vaguely wondering if you must mirror her own feelings so well. Kafka was a formidable woman, that wasn’t a secret to anyone. What she wanted, she would eventually obtain. However everything else she had taken now seemed so.. Little in comparison to you. So worthless. The one thing Kafka wanted, craved— No. The one thing she needed, she couldn’t have. You. A little bit of water splashes her face. Unsurprising, there’s thunderclouds rolling overhead. Rain was bound to come sooner or later. The water rolls down her cheek, to the corner of her mouth. It takes a moment to register in her brain it’s salty, and the rain has not yet begun to fall.

She looks down at her hands, those hands that have felled many. Her tongue, which has been used to manipulate peoples minds into showing them horrors to last a lifetime, that tongue that has spit thousands of lies. Her eyes, which have watched on as an opponent met a slow, agonizing end. The eyes that showed a frenzied glee at the suffering. How could she ever be worthy of you? The shining bright light in the universe who could never be dimmed. One so pure and precious. She felt her chest tighten in shame. She could never wash the blood from her hands, it stained her entire being. Deep in her mind, a maze to all (even herself) she knew that if given the chance to cleanse her sins, she probably would not take it.

So the Stellaron Hunter turns, quickly scaling her way down to the bustling streets before you might see that familiar shape crouching across the way. Your eyes make their way to the window as you see quick movement, but as fast as it appeared it disappears just as well. And a drop of water hits the glass. And another. Until your window is pelted with the sky’s tears, and the sidewalks are a black mass of umbrellas.

I hope this was this much 🤏 entertaining to you

WHAJHSGD ANONIE?? THIS IS SO AMAZING WAAA IDEK IF I CAN ADD TO IT BC ITS ALREADY PERFECTT!! IM GETTING FED SO WELLL SHJSSJ SOBBING KAFKA ANGST HITTING TOO HARD RN AJSJSJS SHES SO BABYYY I WANNA HUG HERR 😕💗

kafka wears gloves to try to hide the blood that has stained her hands to try to make herself feel better :(

kafka probably has you as a live wallpaper on her phone. she would press down on her phone and the short video of you on that flower field would play. your smiling brightly as the rays of the sunset glowed so beautifully on you. lighting up your smile even more. she looks at it with a bittersweet memories as she reminds herself as to why she joined the stellaron hunters - to understand herself to be a better person and see that beautiful smile on your face everyday. :(

she listens to voice messages or watches videos she has saved of you whenever shes stressed. hearing your voice and the way you smile at her clears her head. calming her down. she can't help but grow a little tired of hearing the same videos and voice recordings. shes determined to get some new ones soon. <3

whenever you post on your snapchat stories, instagram, tiktok, any social media platform, kafka is always on an anonymous account. she constantly comments sweet things under your posts.

"hope you had fun <3"

"so beautiful, like always dear 💗"

"such a pretty smile you have :)"

kafka doesnt even try to change the way she writes to make you not catch on. she likes your posts and is usually the first one to see them too. You can't help but sense the familiarity of the way the commenter writes their comments. its ever so awfully familiar as to how kafka types. you want to believe it but you know its not her :(

kafka secretly hopes you recognise that its her. she knows it won't happen, but she will still keep believing that you will <3

[anonymousdisco]

How’d I get Isikiad into Yandere Obey Me Halloween Special

(Y/N)’s POV:

I woke up slowly with a dull ache in my head. Rubbing my head I opened my eyes to a strange sight. I looked around but all I saw was an endless void of darkness filled only by… mirrors? I stepped closer to one in confusion, heels clicking against the ground despite there being no sight of one.

“Glitch…?” I called out as I looked at the mirror carefully. “What is this thing?” The mirror instead of showing my reflection just showed some kind of blurred scene. “Glitch? Where are you?!”

Why wasn’t she here? She was always nearby, so where did she go? I nervously clutched my hands in front of me. Tentatively I reached one out to touch the mirror. It was cold. Freezing to be honest. The kind of freezing that burns. I tried to yank my hand away but I couldn’t.

As the mirror’s temperature burned my hand, the image in it cleared. It was of a room. Not just any room though. It was my room in my past life. It looked almost like the night I left it. Clothes still haphazardly thrown on my bed from when I was picking a dress for the party.

The door to my room clicked open and my sister and my previous fiancé entered. What were they doing in my room? “So glad that the dreary funeral is over! We can finally make this room into my new closet without anyone complaining about appearance sake.” My sister rambled as she clung to his arm.

She was still selfish. It seems like my dying didn’t fix that. They both talked together for a while planning their changes to the room before leaving. It wasn’t till they left the room that the mirror finally released me.

I thought I would be crying by now. That such a scene would hurt me like it always used to. But it didn’t… I felt nothing looking at them. Perhaps a bit of rage, but that was it. She didn’t scare me anymore. Now that I was surrounded daily by demons in Devildom she just seemed mediocre in comparison.

I rubbed my hand looking at it carefully for any injuries, but it seemed fine now. My head was pounding though like someone took an ax to it.

I walked through the strange void till I came to another mirror. It was also blurred without my touch. In order to test the theory I was developing I decided to lay my hand on this one as well. This time the pain shot up my whole arm and I cried out in shock. This mirror had been bigger than the other and clearly this had an effect on how it worked.

As cold air seeped through it, it slowly showed what it was hiding. It was my sister again. This time she was at the bottom of our family’s grand staircase. Our parents were standing at the top looking at her disgusted. Our mother was clutching onto our fathers arm looking horrified at my sister.

“Mother, father, why are you kicking me out?!” My sister cried out as she sobbed looking up at them.

“You are no child of ours!” My father yelled angrily. “You have dishonored this family! Do you truely believe you can crawl back here after failing like you did?!”

My sister glared at him with hate. “You're the one who suggested the plan in the first place! It wasn’t even my idea!”

“All you had to do was marry the man and make him sick enough to die so we could own his family’s corporation. You couldn’t do anything so simple?! Now you’ve been caught in the act and everything we’ve built is at risk!” My mother walked down the steps slowly with a deadly grace she only ever had when she was beyond angry.

“At least my biological daughter knew her place unlike you even if she was worthless.” My mothers words seeped deep into my soul and stung to hear. Even then I still lacked tears. “If you know what’s best for you you’ll keep your mouth shut about our involvement and follow her example.”

“Are you… telling me to die?!” My sister fell down to the ground with shock.

All our mother did was throw her a vial of liquid in answer. As my sister picked it up the scene blurred again and I was released from the mirror freezing grip.

I stood there shocked. Just how trashy were all of them? I had no idea what this place was, or where it was even at. All I knew was one thing, it could view where I was from and tell me what happened after my death.

I shakily breathed out a sigh of breath. The ache in my temples was growing stronger. It felt lonely without glitch’s company. I was so used to glitch being there even if glitch was just a program. It was almost like having a real friend.

I walked further down to another mirror. This one was more ornate than the rest. It stood in the center without any other mirrors surrounding it. It had a black frame with silver thorns wrapping around it. Instead of being blurred the mirror was just pitch black like the void around it. I hadn’t even touched it yet and the cold was already seeping into my skin. My breath came out fogged with cold.

As my finger hovered near it, and before I could even touch it snow flakes drifted down from above. I looked up gasping in shock but there were no clouds, only the void. The snow seemed to only appear near me. I delicately held out a hand and captured a snowflake and it melted just like it was real.

“This is a bad idea. This is not how you survive a horror movie moment…” I whispered as I touched the mirror anyways. The cold filled my whole body this time. I cried as it burned me. It felt like it was hours before the mirror at long last began to show an image. 

Through my tears I saw a strange sight. It was my funeral. Everything seemed normal except for a single figure completely in white. The kind of white that burns your eyes and makes you go crazy. The type you find in mental hospitals to soothe the patients even if it only makes it worse.

The figure also had on a pure white lace veil, and all the clothing of the figure had silver thorns embroidered on the fabric. The fabric was misty at the end like fog, and the figure held an ornate silver mirror that mimicked the design of the one I was touching.

The figure walked slowly to my coffin in the image I saw. No one seemed to see it unlike me. The figure stroked my hair carefully where my body rested in my coffin. Despite my body’s gruesome appearance my casket was open. Another insult from my family I suppose. The figure bent down and kissed my forehead through its veil which quite frankly creeped me out. Looking at my bloody appearance made bile rise up in the back of my throat.

I tried to remove my hand from the mirror as I shook with a bit of fear. I couldn’t let go though and was forced to stay and watch as the figure reached its hand through my chest and pulled out a glowing light I could only assume was my soul. The figure then placed it carefully and lovingly in its mirror.

How could something dressed in white, which is usually associated with good things, seem so terribly wrong and terrifying…? The figure slowly turned around and gazed out as if it could see me and it waved gracefully. As it stepped closer to my sight I shook upon instinct. Every part of my being told me this thing was other and bad.

A hand of the figure reached out through the mirror and laced with my hand that was stuck against it. I yelled out in pain as the freezing feeling worsened at its touch. The figure said nothing and simply held my hand a moment before letting go. As it let go and returned completely to its side of the mirror, the mirror turned pitch black again and released me. I yanked my hand away and looked at it frantically. The tips of my fingers had turned blue with cold and I could hardly feel them. I rubbed them desperately to warm them up.

The ache in my head worsened and eventually I felt my gaze darken as I passed out. When I came to, I was back in my room in the House of Lamination. I panted frantically as I looked for any damage to my body. I looked completely fine for some reason. “Glitch?!” I cried out.

“I recommend a course of action that’s quieter.” Glitch said, appearing before me.

“What was that?!” I whispered frantic still.

“That was the omnipresent beings' inner realm. It appears you were called there by his decision.”

“Was that thing… him?” I asked, shaking a bit still.

“Yes, that figure was the omnipresent being.” Glitch explained carefully. “The omnipresent being rarely interacts personally with a test user. To do so is odd behavior for him. You must be particularly amusing to him.”

“Amusing…? My suffering is amusing?!”

“As I have previously stated this loudness is not a recommended course of action.”

I slumped against my pillow as I stared at the ceiling. No wonder I was terrified. I just met a being beyond my comprehension. A being that decided to defy my death effortlessly and stick me in a whole new reality… I’m never touching one of those mirrors again.

As I rolled over to go back to sleep sighing shakily, I could almost swear I saw a fleeting glimpse of a white figure in my mirror. But surely I was just imagining things…

[eddathegreat]

I Guess I'll Post About Shipping Mizu

The way I see it, we've got 3 options for Mizu: Akemi, Taigen, and Ringo.

I ship Mizu with Ringo.

Here is my long-winded breakdown of why.

Akemi is probably the worst match for Mizu. Which is really unexpected, I'm frankly almost always gunning for the lesbian option. There are reasons they could work: they could find some solidarity as women in a shared culture, each trying to find their own way. They are both ruthlessly determined and willing to be underhanded. However, they have led very different lives, Mizu of poverty and Akemi of privilege, and we see Akemi often acting very entitled, while Mizu is unlikely to ever give a shit about being 'proper.' Most damning, I think, is that Akemi is resolved to be Great by the end of S1, hence why she and Taigen don't work out. Mizu is very similarly not very interested in being great: she wants to kill some people, and is otherwise lacking in aspirations.

Which leads into me talking about Taigen. They have a shared appreciation for swordplay and martial arts. I'm not so blind I can't see the sexual tension in their fights. And they are both people who could be happy to settle down and live a mundane life, away from everything. However, Taigen is... especially bullheaded. Just kind of a dick all around. He's honorable, sure, but within the bounds of his honor code he is repeatedly an asshole. I cannot possibly imagine him responding well when he finds out that a woman is wielding a sword, and that flavor of constant dickishness really puts a damper on any of his stronger points.

Ringo, in contrast, is nice, in a way that I think complements Mizu very well. There are some issues, of course. Ringo also wants to be Great, like Akemi. There is a pretty big gulf between the two in how comfortable they are with violence, Ringo shying away while Mizu embraces it. However, Ringo is also actively interrogating what he wants out of life, which also reflects Mizu's struggles, and I can see them actually deciding on a life course together. There is also solidarity pretty much from the start of their relationship, Ringo accepting Mizu as a swordswoman and Mizu not dismissing Ringo as worthless, even praising his ability to be stealthy. Mizu is vulnerable with Ringo in a way that she isn't with the other two. Ringo is careful enough to balance Mizu's recklessness, but also willing to roll with her, and I like the dynamic.

The last big comparison I have to make is how each of them responds to Mizu's bullshit. When she hurts Taigen and Akemi, each of them are quick to reverse their positive impressions and start referring to Mizu in racialized terms. Ringo, however, calls her out for more appropriate reasons. And while all three have had their conflicts with Mizu, her conflict with Ringo never became homicidal or even violent. In fact, Ringo is the only one of the three who actually has a positive history at all with Mizu.

[borderline-culture-is]

BPD culture is I FINALLY HAVE A GOOD PERSON AS MY FP BIGYFIJONUSAUFX YF

I love them so fucking much, they are genuinely the best person to ever breathe

They check in on me and constantly tell me they love me and write me fanfiction and have more to write (they said they couldn't sent a link to the last one they wrote me because it was in the same doc as ones that aren't ready yet) and they apologize when they don't text, especially when I've started acting anxious about not getting a response, and they tried learning my native language(not really sure how that's going) and (I think jokingly) checked the plane ticket prices to my country and I genuinely don't deserve them, they are morr than what I've ever deserved and we have bracelets with each other's names

Like a week ago I told them they were becoming my fp and explained how that could be bad for them and gave them the opportunity to go but they were extremely accommodating and of course I didn't tell them everything I feel about them because I think they'll get too worried about me but I don't think they'd ever treat me badly

I think they are putting in way more effort than I deserve and that's definitely going to turn into an issue later but who gaf? Not me. I'll deal with my future insecurities in the future

But they are also really busy which is very annoying but they constantly tell me how they wanna talk to me while with their friends and during college and basically always and they don't always respond in time but neither do I because notifications are stupid but they are so fucking amazing and I feel worthless in comparison to them because they are everything but they also reassure me and im rambling but I love them more than anything ever

-💜🥀🔪

.

[tongue-like-a-razor]

Do make a happy ending for Mav and reader, please 🥺🙏

I completely agree, he doesn't deserve her but at the same time I can't imagine them not getting together after all that emotional upheaval. He needs a huge redemption arc for what he put her through, he needs to go to hell and back barefoot twice before he deserves her, but they need a happy ending 😭😍

I think he needs to personally feel on his skin her doing the same shit he did to her. Realizing how much he loves her and how worthless his behavior is, knowing he doesn't deserve her but also how he can't live without her - he's so in love he would rather crash. Not caring what others think, putting everything on the line, including his career, to be with her, because when faced with losing her or everything else, his love for her has no comparison. Giving her the love, respect and priority she deserves. And showing his love for her in front of everyone, not treating her like a dirty secret, but like the woman he's hopelessly in love with. Not because he needs to do this just to not lose her, but because he loves her and holds her in that regard and respect, without hesitation. The energy is like: he's in love and wants to be in love, you know? He can't imagine not loving her, it was the best shit that ever happened to him. Hopelessly devoted to her.

I think it would be interesting to see how he would change after finally being in love, like he would finally prefer and imagine a life outside of flying. Instead, being a married, retired man, going on adventures around the world with her rather than with the military. Something he never imagined possible, you know? I'm not saying that the fic has to go down those paths because after all, she's at the height of her career and he definitely prefers to be by her side, taking care of her, making sure she's okay and helping her to grow to the top, but this is an example of his great change, does that make sense?

This fic has so much desperate passion and love, that seeing this come to life with your incredible writing would be out of this world 🤯, he'd have to do a lot of chasing, but... we all love that, right? 🤤❤

The highlights of this fic for me are definitely those moments where they crave each other so much and they give in to each other for a moment before going back to the rest of the world. The love, the desperation, the passion....my God 🤤❤

I would like to see now, instead of him having these moments trying not to give in to his feelings for her, he now tries to have these moments because he can't lose her and because she is everything he wants and loves most. Same thing, different scenarios and intentions and he's the one who goes after it. Although we could say that he was the one always chasing her, he was just behaving stupidly.

I hope everything is understandable, English is not my mother tongue, sorry for any mistakes ❣

I love all of this so much!! I agree, it would take an awful lot to make up for the way he’s acted. Hopefully his sense of duty and pride and his big head don’t get in the way haha

And omg I’ve totally thought about writing little snippets of them after I post the final chapter because I don’t know if I could let go 😆 Maybe things that happened during this time or even after that didn’t make it into the main story.

[alloftheimaginesblog]

late nights {e.m}

plot: you and eddie do most of your bonding at night.

character: eddie munson x reader

His arm's draped over your shoulders lazily as you lean back and look up to the stars. It's late, well past midnight, and you're watching the stars with Eddie Munson whilst you both share a joint.

"You know," he starts, weed heavily in effect already, "looking up at the stars used to freak me out as a kid." You ask why, sparing him a glance. He's pretty with his dark curls and dark eyes, "Cause I used to look up at them and realise how small we all are. We're just so insignificant, you know?"

You shrugged, "Never really thought about it."

"When things with my dad got really bad before my Uncle took me in, I used to come out and stare up at the stars. At first I found a lot of comfort but as I got older and I did it more and more I realised that my problems were so small, so stupid in comparison to the fucking stars, fucking dead rocks suspended in gravity and it fucked with me a bit. Made me feel so much more isolated. Made me feel so small. My dad already made me feel that way so when I looked up it almost felt like him but like... magnified looking down on me, berating me, telling me I was stupid, small, worthless... I dunno."

You frown. It had been his idea to stargaze and get high so surely his opinion had changed, "What do you think of them now?"

Eddie thought for a moment, "Space in general freaks me out but I'm high so it's all good, you get me?"

You find yourself laughing at him, "No? I happen to really like space and the stars and thought of how small we are in comparison."

He leans back on the grass, elbows propping himself up, "Do tell."

You look upwards, watching the twinkling dots in the sky, "Because if I'm upset over something say... I dunno, failing a test, I come out, I look up and it relaxes me." Eddie presses you for a reason, "Because my issue is so small. I look up, I realise the issue is small and stupid, might even be fixable and I move on."

"Huh," he shrugs, "I don't get it but you do you."

The two of you are silent for a few minutes before Eddie turns to you, "Do you wanna go get burgers? There's a 24 hour place about twenty minutes away." Not everything could be a big, deep conversation...

[idontmindifuforgetme]

how do i deal with social anxiety?

disclaimer that social anxiety is a spectrum, it comes in very different forms, and there’s no one size fits all for how to deal with it. this is just the perspective of a 21 year old girl who’s trying to get by as much as anyone else. it’s perfectly fine if my way doesn’t align with yours; the goal is to ultimately find ways that do align.

with that said!! it helped a lot to realize that most people genuinely don’t care. this is the spotlight effect—you think that everyone’s laser-focused on what you’re doing, when in reality no one’s keeping this elaborate tally of when you embarrass yourself, of when you fail at something, of how you carry yourself in general. life is hard and busy for most people, and even if they do find amusement in something you did, it’s the equivalent of looking at a funny tiktok and scrolling past it ten seconds later. just like you, most people are tangled in their own little cobweb of problems.

this is not to say that people who do obsess over other people don’t exist. they absolutely do. but their opinion should be virtually worthless to you, bc no well-rounded, emotionally intelligent person is going to be spending their free time voyeuristically hating on somebody else’s every move. if they do have that kind of time, they’re probably miserable people without much going for them, and misery loves company. the best way to respond to them is just to starve them of the attention they’re trying to evoke from you.

i really wish someone would’ve told me this in high school, bc for me high school was the peak of that kind of behavior. teenagers have not been alive for that long, so i think the concept that other people have emotions that are just as complex, just as valid, just as deserving of compassion as theirs are is pretty hard for most of them to grasp. and hell, some of them even age into adults who never outgrow the “my feelings inherently have more value than yours” “everyone else is an npc” “my impulses must be validated first and foremost” mentality. it’s like yes, you should prioritize yourself at the end of the day, but sometimes there’s more nuance to it than that & that shouldn’t just be disregarded in favor of instantaneous comfort.

also very important to note!! please don’t be hard on yourself on days where you backslide. the halcyon standard of never being afflicted w anxiety does not exist. i try to bounce back from things pretty quickly, but even i have days where i feel like shit, days where i’m anxious about what other people think, days where i’m not courageous enough to do something, days where i cry in the shower etc etc. the calmest person you know has had them. they also just tend to be the kind of person who doesn’t disclose them, so you get this larger than life aura from them that makes you think you’re defective in comparison. i promise that is not the case. you are human and it’s okay not to be perfect. the key is to hold yourself accountable and to try to do better next time.

whether you’re dealing with teenagers who’re yet to mature, adults who refuse to mature, or just anyone who’s being hostile towards you without a sane cause to be, just know it has everything to do w them and nothing to do w you. it may seem like it does, but it really doesn’t. behavior like this is without fail a manifestation of other people’s insecurities, as opposed to an actual statement about your worth as a person. as long as you’re rooted in who you are, it will never matter how other people perceive you.

[jokerislandgirl32]

I dare Zach to go up to Aviva and tell her something along the lines of "Aviva, you are the greatest inventor ever and I suck" in front of the other wild kratts too or he is a chicken 🐥

Your wish is my command…BTW, this may seem suggestive/spicy, but it is not, I could say more, but you’ll see 😉

Zach: “I’m not doing it…you can’t make me…”

Violet: “Hmmm, suit yourself, it is your dare, I’m just the one enforcing it…and I decide what happens if you don’t do it…”

Zach *giving a dry laugh*: “Ha! What are you gonna do about it? Keep me from getting dessert with my dinner? Take away my Zachbot privileges? Ban me from inventing? Hmph! That’s right, you can’t do anything about it. I’m a grown man! I’m in charge of my own decisions!”

Violet *smirking, running her finger under his chin*: “Oh honey, don’t be so naive…There is something that I can take away from you…and you’re not gonna like it.”

Zach *confusion crossing his face*: “What are you talking about?”

Violet *whispers into his ear*

Zach *eyes going wide in horror*: “You wouldn’t dare…”

Violet *examining her nails and chuckling*: “Oh, I can…and I will…So? When are we going to the Tortuga?”

Zach:

Zach *completely serious*: “Right now…”

See below cut for the story of how it went down 😈

Zach and I walk toward the Tortuga, I’d located the Wild Kratts in an instant, and we headed there immediately. Zach usually loathed any form of physical contact with me in public, but he held out his arm to me as we exited his jet. He didn’t say anything, he just glanced at his arm and huffed in annoyance, “please,” he whined. 

I giggled reaching out to hold onto his bicep, “I told you everything will be fine…I promise I won’t take it away from you if you just do this…”

Zach whimpers, dropping his arm to my waist and pulling me against him, apparently the arm holding wasn’t enough, he blushed and explained, “I just need to feel you, how can you do this to me? Scare me and torment me like this? It’s not fair!” 

I pat his chest reassuringly, “life isn’t fair my love…but this will be over before we know it…then we can go back to the jet and…” I trail off, smirking at him. 

Zach stands a little taller, clearing his throat, “ahem, uhhh, yeah…we will…” 

We arrive outside the Tortuga and the Wild Kratts crew hurries out. In unison, Martin and Chris yell, “Zach attack!” 

The brothers take a defensive stance, ready to use their creature power suits if needed, Aviva and Koki look at us vehemently, and Jimmy Z hides behind the girls uncertainly, peaking his head out to look at us. 

“What are you up to Zach?” Koki declares.

Aviva responds next, “yeah Zach, what are you trying to do, use Violet to steal our technology? It’s not going to work this time!” 

Zach opens his mouth to speak but quickly closes it, looking at the Wild Kratts shamefully, I rub my hand over his chest, “no,” I explain, “Zach and I are here for another reason, he has something he wants to tell you Aviva…”

“Tell me? What do you want to tell me?” Aviva’s voice raises in confusion. 

Chris stands in front of Aviva defensively, “Aviva be careful! It might be a trap!” 

I shake my head and laugh, leaning my head against Zach’s chest, “oh no, no, no, it’s not anything like that…it’s a dare!” 

“A dare,” Martin laughs, “what kind of dare?” 

Zach grumbles, “I have to tell Aviva…ugh, no I can’t do it, I just can’t…”

I retract myself from Zach and move away, earning a pitiful whine from him, “you have to tell Aviva what, go on…” I prompt him, folding my arms and keeping a good distance from him so he couldn’t reach out and grab me. 

Zach looks like he’s on the verge of tears, “you can’t do this Vi, please!”

I roll my eyes, “I can, and I will… go on Zach…do it, or you won’t be able to…”

Before I can finish my sentence, Zach growls in aggravation, “argh! Fine! Aviva! You are the greatest inventor ever and I pale in comparison to your greatness! Almost all my inventions are worthless pieces of junk unless I have animals to power them, but you manage to create functional inventions without animal power each time! There! Happy Vi?”

I walk back to him and wrap my arms around his waist, “very much so…”

The Wild Kratts team look at us in shock, a smile playing on Aviva’s lips, Jimmy Z has come out from behind Aviva and Koki and he is openly laughing at this point. Martin and Chris are looking at us in shock, and Koki is grumbling under her breath, “he actually said something that was true for once…”

Zach looks down at me desperately, “can we go back to the jet now?”

I nod, giggling at his expression, “yes, we can…”

“Will you cuddle with me now?” Zach inquires, not paying any attention to our audience. 

I blush slightly and look at the Wild Kratts Team, “uhhh, yes…you completed the dare, so we can cuddle now…”

Zach throws his arms around my waist, falling to his knees, nuzzling his face into my stomach, “oh thank you!”

I smirk and run my fingers over his gelled hair, “you’re welcome, my greatness.”

Sorry this took me forever to get to! In response to this post!