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Cookies represent the body of Santa while the milk represents the blood of Santa

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I don't know who needs to hear this, but it's time to take your 12 partridges, 22 turtle doves, 30 french hens, 36 calling birds, 42 geese a-laying, and 42 swans a-swimming out of the freezer.

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this is a controversial opinion and I’m not a gamer but I don’t need my graphics to be that good. I don’t need to see every individual feather on a bird. my poor computer doesn’t deserve to carry that weight either.

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"Save a horse and a cowboy..."

[Sketch for wizardposting on bluesky]

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just made a new oc called guy whose life sucks

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i was jumanji’d too when i was a kid but no one cared

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how can you feel safe in a world with prisons holy shit "there are boxes where people lock you so they can forget about you and millions of people are involved in running and building these boxes." how would you not be fucking paranoid???? wtf who came up with that idea. insane!!!!! i dont want to go in a fuckign cage wtf????? dont do that!!!!!

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FOOD HUBRIS BY COUNTRY america: believes their shitty local burger chain is a once-in-a-lifetime culinary experience because their mayo includes onion paste canada: if your poutine tastes better than the styrofoam plate it comes on you will discover the cold rage that lies under the canadian's polite exterior united kingdom: despite thriving and unique fusion cuisines spreading from the UK to the rest of the world in recent decades, when asked to think of 'british food' the average UK citizen will start a fight over whether cold beans with a modest side of white bread is haute cuisine france: McDo Ortolan Bunting italy: extremely mad about american versions of italian food. blissfully ignorant of what happens in brazil brazil: if the scientific genius applied to making cronenbergian pizzas were applied to anything else, brazilians would all be commuting to jobs on the moon. They have pizza that can feel pain russia: obviously mayonnaise is the perfect topping for all foodstuffs, this is solved. The question is what to put on top of mayonnaise, and it might never be answered germany: less a joke than a fact: the single most produced numbered Volkswagen part is a standardized currywurst

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I was at a bookstore looking through the art section and I saw a spine that said The Camden Town Nudes which was interesting because this didn’t seem like the bookstore where I would ever find something like that and I wanted to have a casual look but like. This also wasn’t exactly the bookstore where you felt like you could look at naked pictures let alone just suggestive paintings of them, it’s a really small shop as well, so I was like right I’ll just take a quick peek, I’m an art student, I love history, maybe I’ll buy it. I looked both ways and saw the shopkeep had left momentarily and no one was about, so I opened it and found it was an entire book featuring nude Edwardian women all painted by Walter Sickert between 1905-1912 and it was actually quite a revolutionary set of paintings for its time given that it featured very raw depictions of working class nude women in dark London instead of the elegant, white bedsheet clad, Demure middle and upper class women usually depicted.

And of course RIGHT as I flip to this lady’s boobs practically taking up an entire double page spread, every customer in a 5 mile radius appeared from around the corners of the shelf including the shopkeep and immediately regressing to a wet, pathetic Edwardian man from 1908, startled, I dropped the large book which caused a giant SLAP on the floor in this already silent store thus causing all patrons to look down at me scrambling on my knees to close a giant book of Edwardian boobs and let me tell you it would not have been nearly as funny had I not immediately felt like some Edwardian local pervert who just tried to sneak a cheeky peek at the erotic book in the bookstore only to drop it dramatically causing a scene, red up to his ears trying to shove it back on the shelf. Like such a casual and normal thing in modern day but looking at Edwardian women suddenly turned it into this egregious act as I apparently became possessed by the spirit of a moustached man in a bowler hat and morning coat going Good Heavens I mustn’t gaze upon these images in public lest the constable haul me away!

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It's Always in Detroit

Author: MBQ Artist: Moreta Rating: Mature Word Count: 7,901 Pairing: Dean Winchester/Castiel. Number Five /Lila Pitts, Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts

Tags: Dubious Consent, Crossover, Cheating, The Umbrella Academy Season 4 Spoilers, POV Multiple

Summary

Lila and Five navigate the Multiverse Subway trying to avert The Cleanse, but end up in a timeline where even angels can't help them.

Link to Fic | Link to Art

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My final catch for @deancas-stabfest. Based on @mbqnoyolo spn/ the unbrella academy crossover fic "It's Always in Detroit"

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Bitter Mouthful

Artist: MBQ Author: KaylieMalinza Rating: Mature Word Count: 3,765 Pairing: Dean Winchester/Castiel

Tags: Cannibalism, Erotic cannibalism, Rugaru Dean Winchester, Illusionary Mary Winchester, Season/Series 12

Summary

Set vaguely in Season 12. Eve takes a second swing at turning Dean into a monster. He was a rugaru. They were made of meat. Can I make it any more obvious. (It's horny and weird. Just roll with it.) Teaser: Dean slams a fist into her, and hurts his knuckles and doesn't hurt her at all. Eve bites down and a heaviness takes over him, like a kitten scruffed. Her lips brush against the open wound when she says, "I heard from Amara that the darkness didn't work, so I'm going to try this." And isn't that just Dean's luck, that the Darkness and the Mother of Monsters are besties, comparing notes over Bloody Marys. Probably literal Bloody Marys. "You've always been more of a creature than a void, haven't you?" Eve croons. "You've been my child before."

Link to Fic | Link to Art

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