#and every time i see an episode from that era now i love it

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

We have officially entered another bangers only era for Japanese queer media; I am loving all of these currently airing shows. These are all streaming on Gaga or provided via fansub (feel free to ask if you don’t know where to find them).

Our Youth

This show is killing me with the quiet yearning and the push and pull and Hirukawa's whole entire deal. The way Hirukawa and Minase keep drawing closer together before stepping back. The way they have created their own little bubble in Minase's home, and how they can't be that way together in other spaces. The way Hirukawa is so desperate to be close to Minase and Minase clearly wants it too, but doesn't really understand himself yet and so keeps rejecting it. I was so sad when Hirukawa admitted he provoked his dad on purpose so that Minase would let him back in; I hope Minase will ease off on the barriers from here on out. I know something bad is coming and I just want them to have a little bit of happiness before we get there.

Love is Like a Poison

The battle couple was tested this week as we finally found out Haruto's connection to this case with an assist from the lady restaurant owner, his past as a con artist was revealed to Shiba's employer, and Shiba's boss demanded that he cut ties. I was so very proud of Shiba when he did not waver about what is most important to him, and worried when Haruto took off and left his ring behind. I'm keeping the faith, though; I don't think Haruto is leaving Shiba.

Love in the Air Koi

Okay, first of all, let me get a scream out about that sex scene, because good god did they deliver. Nagumo Shoma is a gift to us all (I will be seeing that back roll in my dreams), and I thought their chemistry now that Rei has figured himself out was fantastic. The whole sequence from the time they left the race track was beautifully shot and performed, and the intimacy felt very real. Aside from the sex, one of the things I like most about this narrative is the belief that a relationship can be the reason you get your life together rather than a distraction from your goals. Rei has all the skills, but he's been lacking focus and drive, and that's exactly what Arashi is giving him. I really liked the way this episode weaved their different subplots together to show them both working toward something, and how their success brought them together in the end. They are good for each other! I also really loved all the Rei and Kai moments in this episode, and that Kai continues to be a perceptive and supportive friend. Kai's own story is coming soon, and we got our first glimpses of it at the end of today's episode. I'm impressed with how this adaptation has streamlined the story to cover every important beat in half the time without ever short changing the relationships.

The Fragrance You Inherit

This week Sakura was reunited with her long lost love via their scheming children, and I loved every minute. My favorite thing about this drama is the relationship writing. Sakura and Toki have such a lovely bond, and I like that he realized after surprising his mom with Mone that it may have been insensitive, and that he cared enough to check in with her about it. Sakura is also a great mom, supportive of his relationship and sensitive to his feelings even as she is grappling with her own shock at this reunion. I also really love that Sakura has such a good friend in Ryosuke (who continues to flag as queer to me). I'm excited to get to know Mone better as an adult and see where the story takes us. You can find the show here, with big thanks as always to @isaksbestpillow for providing English subs.

[stripesysheaven]

already got started on my doctor who rewatch but im planning on doing it out of order

12/clara era

11/clara era

10/donna

9/rose

everything else

[eggmeralda]

that period of time between south park post covid being announced in 2021 to summer 2022 when everyone got obsessed with truffula flu was moderately heavenly

[maximus-gluteus]

nothing to see here

[hauntingblue]

And WHERE is the gyojin island road poneglyph

[ellecdc]

HI QUEEN 🎀🩷🎀🩷

I literally just atalkws all your marauders fics for like 2 solid hours. You're writing is healing me at this point.

I was wondering if your requests were open? And if they are can I please request a fic that happens directly after the first war (marauders era) and reader has ptsd and maybe got triggered by the smallest of domestic actions done by one of the boys and comfort ensues for the episode and aftermath guilt?

I'm sorry it's oddly specific, just fighting some demons rn and your awesome writing kinda does the trick heheh

please feel free to ignore this one! love u <33

thanks for your request, love. hope things have been easier on you as of late <3

poly!marauders x fem!reader who is struggling with PTSD [1.5k words]

CW: PTSD, post-war, mention of past character death/grief, panic attack, hurt/comfort

The war had taken its toll on all of you; ghosts of the people you lost and the people you all once were haunted you, reminding you of scars both visible and invisible that coloured every aspect of your life.

There were things that the four of you staunchly refused to talk about; Remus refused to speak about his time in the feral packs, Sirius refused to speak about his brother, James refused to speak about Peter’s betrayal, and you refused to speak about what happened when you went missing.

Perhaps there were healthier ways to manage the grief and pain, perhaps you would all benefit from reconsidering those lines each of you had drawn in the sand.

But you were all alive, you were all together, and you had your whole lives ahead of you, and for now, that was enough. 

It was enough until it wasn’t.

It was enough until Remus was sitting on the floor of your kitchen with you pulled into his chest as Sirius hovered in front of you, holding your hands against his chest as he begged you to breathe, to copy his breaths, to come back to him. 

To come back to him. 

You and James had been fussing in the kitchen making breakfast this morning; Remus being wholly uninterested in mornings but very much interested in the two of you had been sitting at the kitchen table in camaraderie as Sirius shuffled sleepily into the room. 

He took the time to admire Sirius’ sleep rumpled hair and the faint lines over his face and bare torso, clearly having rolled straight out of bed before going in search of his loves. 

You were reaching into a cupboard to retrieve Sirius’ favourite mug when he came up behind you and placed his hand at the nape of your neck at the exact moment that James burned himself at the stove; cursing loudly and dropping the pan which landed on the floor with a bang, closely followed by the sound of breaking glass. 

Remus was up from his seat in record time, aching joints be damned, and at James’ side.

“I’m sorry, I’m okay; sorry.” James gritted out, acquiescing to Remus’ probes and allowing him to examine his hand.

“Awe bubs, you got yourself good.” Remus cooed as he cast a quick aguamenti over the burn.  

“Shit, yeah.” He breathed out. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“What broke?” Remus asked then, looking down at the pan that had landed horribly close to James’ feet and searching for evidence of a broken bowl.

“What do you mean?”

“Did you not drop something?” Remus clarified.

James shook his head with furrowed brows. “Just the pan.”

Their bemusement turned to concern when they heard a choked “baby” coming from Sirius’ lips. 

Remus’ stomach dropped as he turned to see you half keeled over, leaning against the counter with one hand at your abdomen and the other over your mouth as if you were suppressing a scream. 

“Is she hurt!?” James asked quickly, moving swiftly along from his own pain.

“It…I- it was me. I-” Sirius started, sinking to the floor in time with you as your legs seemed wholly unable to hold you up in your current state. 

“She’s panicking.” Remus surmised aloud, quickly tiptoeing over what he realised were shards of Sirius’ mug that you’d been procuring moments before. 

“Dove? Hey, look at me.” Remus offered as he crouched in front of you.

You shook your head quickly and sucked in a stilted breath. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry, my love, just look at me.”

You shook your head again and tried to back further into the lower cabinets as if hoping they would simply swallow you whole.

“I’ll clean it up. I’m sorry.”

“Sweetheart,” Sirius pleaded, “we’re not worried about the mess.”

“I’m okay.” You sobbed, sounding anything but.

“I know you are, dove. You’re okay, come now.” Remus said as he finally joined you on the floor, leaning back against the cabinets and pulling you into his lap so that you were fully enveloped in his embrace. “Big breath, babylove, can you do that for me?”

You made a high pitched keening sound and shook your head quickly. “I’m sorry.”

Remus looked over to notice that James had his burnt hand held protectively against his chest while his other kneaded into Sirius’ shoulder as he whispered into his ear.

“Look, dove, Jamie can fix the mug no problem, and Siri’s gonna help you take big breaths, okay?” Remus tired then, stirring both boys into action as James straightened and cast a quick reparo to Sirius’ mug and Sirius shuffled over on his knees to station himself between Remus’ spread legs and in front of you. 

“Can you copy me, baby? Like this?” Sirius begged. “Just like this.”

Sirius pried your hands away from your face and encouraged them to flatten out against his chest where Remus was sure you could feel the hammering of his heart as he took a dramatic breath for your benefit. 

You choked out a few more apologies that both boys gently admonished you for as you tried to copy Sirius’ breaths; they were nowhere near as deep or graceful, but Remus was thankful for your effort nonetheless. 

James reappeared then, his own hand now wrapped with medical tape and smelling strongly of Remus’ healing balms when he held something out for you.

“Angel, can you do me a favour?” He asked extraordinarily softly that it even had Remus feeling more at ease. “Can you hold these for me?”

Remus watched your face as you wretched your eyes open - another ‘deep breath’ stilted by a sob as you looked to him - to see him holding two large spheres of ice that Sirius had for his firewhiskey. 

Sirius kept his hands gently stationed on your arms as you removed them from his chest and accepted the ice from James, still never letting go even as the ice began to melt and drip freezing water down your wrists. 

When your sobs became the occasional hiccups and Remus felt you deflate further into his embrace, he braved a gentle caress of your upper arms in warning of his presence.

“Better?” He murmured lowly into your shoulder, earning him a deep sigh that came out only slightly shaky. 

“I…think so. I’m s-”

“No, no, dove.” He admonished quickly, peppering slow kisses along your shoulder and the column of your neck. “There’s nothing to apologise for.”

“I didn’t mean to cause a scene.” You murmured quietly, and Remus watched as Sirius’ face crumpled.

“You didn’t cause a scene, baby.” He argued quickly. “You were scared; I-”

James made a sympathetic sound in the back of his throat as he wrapped an arm around Sirius and pressed his lips to his long-haired boyfriend’s head.

“Should we not touch you like that, dove? Here?” Remus asked carefully then; dragging a barely-there finger across the nape of your neck and watching goosebumps appear.

“No, that’s fine, I- it wasn’t that I…it was just both and I…I didn’t sleep very well and it was just…”

“Too much?” Sirius offered as James relinquished you of what was left of your ice that had you and Remus damp, drawing circles into your wrists that he still had secured in his grasp.

“Just at once, I’m sorry.”

“Angel…” James chided.

“I am sorry.” You insisted as you looked at James imploringly. “I’ve not been doing a very good job handling my shit lately and now I’ve ruined the morning for everyone.”

“It’s not your shit, baby, and it’s not only yours to handle; we’re supposed to be helping you too, yeah?” Sirius pressed as he craned his neck to meet your eye that you were trying to avoid. 

“And you didn’t ruin anything; you could never ruin anything.” James added. 

You sniffled at that and took another deep breath that hardly shook at all as you leaned further into Remus. “Is your hand okay, Jamie?”

James smiled softly at you before bending down to press a kiss to your forehead. “It’ll be good as new, but I owe Moons some healing balm since I used a whole jar from his stash.”

“I’ll buy it!” Sirius announced quickly, surprising a small laugh from you.

“I’d think not, Pads; I’m the one who used it up!”

“Yes but you’re the one who was hurt, I’m the one who upset our girl.”

“I upset her too.” James countered as they began arguing who had played a bigger hand in this morning’s commotion. 

You and Remus shared a fond yet exasperated look before the two of you stood - on shaky legs after being folded up for so long - and opted to take a warm shower and change into dry clothes.

It may not have been the start to the day any of you would have liked, but you all made it out okay, you were all together, and you had your whole lives ahead of you. 

And for now, that was more than enough.

[peyotebritta]

What are people's take on this? The pyramids in the background seem to support the Sutekh theory or are they just mountains?. Triad = Pyramids. Sue's Tech = Sutekh ( a stretch, I know but the Osirans do have advanced tech to rival the time lords). Maybe Susan is a (unwitting) servant of Sutekh like this guy in Pyramid of Mars whose face we never saw:

Looking at the promo pictures, it struck me how similar this image is to Sutekh's time corridor:

Additionally, we see this sand/dust cloud in the trailer. Sutekh wanted to turn all existence to dust:

We know an ancient evil will be awoken from within UNIT using TRIAD technology. Sutekh has been trapped since ancient antiquity but almost escaped in 1911 from a time corridor in UNIT's basement. but the Doctor forced him to age 7000s years, presumably killing him. But if not, he could certainly qualify as The One Who Waits.

We also know S Triad = TARDIS which seems to suggest time lord technology or something similar. If she used a prototype that went wrong, it could have scattered her across time without her knowing and she's experiencing her other lives as dreams.

We also have the matter of the Doctor's TARDIS acting strange, perhaps TRIAD Technology is siphoning energy or life from the Doctor's TARDIS In order to work

Additionally thoughts:

we have a new Tales of Tardis episode airing the day before the finale that will feature Ncuti Gatwa and Millie Gibson. I'm assuming they will be in the Memory Tardis, which we know feeds on stories. which could link to the tv show / unreality theory. Is the Memory Tardis Triad Tech? Maybe she is selling it as a commercial experience to relive memories but it's a Ghost Machine Doomsday situation and she doesn't truly know what she's messing with or that her dreams are actually happening irl as a side effect of using the tech.

Empire of Death- Sutekh is the god of death

Tom Baker is the only Doctor to not appear in Tales of the TARDIS, so the new episode will likely be a Fourth Doctor story. Pyramids of Mars is my bet but are there any credible ideas?

But how to reconcile this with the 'tv show in a tv show' theory and Ruby's parentage? And this is complicated by this claim from RTD that the finale will link back to the Pertwee era, suggesting someone like Omega? Or maybe Susan worked for UNIT back in the 70s and has been building the technology for 50 years andh as only now succeeded with the influence of TOWW.

Every clue seems to raise more questions. I'd love to get people's thoughts as I may be spiraling here.

One thing I am sure of? Susan Triad is not the one in control

[bengiyo]

Ben's Big BL Blurb

I was traveling for a few weeks, and there's no way I'm doing individual posts for every show I've been watching, so here's my thoughts on all of the shows I'm currently enjoying, in the order I'm most enjoying them.

Twilight Out of Focus

This show is fucking excellent. I'm not that keen on taking a break from our leads to see other couples, but I do like that BL continues to be the way that these guys are figuring out they're attracted to each other. Mao moving so smoothly into his boyfriend era, and knowing how he's feeling, has been excellent. I also really loved Hisashi knowing they needed to not be together all the time.

The Trainee

Jane is so attractive, and I'm so happy for Off. This latest episode was a lot of fun to watch for Ryan, because it's nice seeing him be more actively engaged in things happening around him. Pai seems far more settled now that she knows she has a place. Pah is clearly still a mess. Tae seems like he's good at what he does. Ba-Mhee falling for Judy is NOT IDEAL, and Judy is over the line.

Overall, I'm actually interested in seeing them mirror interns crushing on their mentors with two different pairings as a point of comparison. I also like how every week feels like the work goals make sense.

The Miracle of Teddy Bear

Besties, so much is happening in this show. There is daddy drama, wife drama, dead son drama, and so much more! These episodes are so long, but I'm really engaged with everything happening on this show. Job and Inn are really fucking good in this.

I Hear the Sunspot

I'm so glad that Kohei made his feelings clear, and I'm enjoying seeing Taichi figure out how to respond to them. We once again had a camping trip that did not give me what I wanted, but I did like Kohei being clear that he's still interested in Taichi. Finally, I liked the little confirmations that Kohei is taking to sign, and that Taichi is interested in that journey.

Knock Knock, Boys!

I'm so proud of Best! He has played Peak in this restrained way for so long, and it paid off in this most recent episode. I love that this story started with a gay man running from himself and his feelings, who then realizes that he can't run away from people who care about him anymore because they won't let him. I love that everyone being patient with him gave him what he needed to finally accept himself and say what he needed. I've really loved the way Thanwa tries to support Peak.

I'm also overjoyed for Almond and Latte, and I need them to fuck nasty before this show ends or I will be so disappointed. Latte is quietly one of my blorbos of the year with the way he is always clear about who he is and what he wants even as he is okay with where Almond is in the moment. They're an excellent pair.

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko

RISA IS OFF THE BESTIE LIST FOREVER! I will never forgive her for outing Hiroko to Ayaka just so she could ask Ayaka to choose her instead. Also, fuck those Bettys at the bar, who definitely know Hiroko's business, and that she's not out at work. Why talk about her to a stranger who called her senpai?? I'm relieved that Hiroko knows that Ayaka likes women now, and am curious how we move forward at this point.

I also need to know who this woman was who hurt Hiroko, because nothing makes me sadder than when we have to hide from other queers.

Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

Thanks to @isaksbestpillow I was actually able to start this on my trip. I didn't want to start a show on a trip, but I could not resist. I really love that Ishida is in his late 20s and struggling with direction and purpose after his initial plan blew up in his face. I love that he's recognized so quickly that he's developed feelings for Mitsuya-sensei, and I love that Mitsuya-sensei is open about who he is. It's about goddamned time that we saw an age gap story of this kind, because so many meaningful relationships I've had are with gay men older than me.

Takara's Treasure

This quiet little show makes me so happy every week. I just desperately need for Taishin to figure out what he's feeling, and for people to help him realize what he's feeling. Takara's my favorite kind of pretty boy: the ones who are obviously and poorly masking incredibly turmoil. I love that Taishin sees through this and wants to help Takara. Excited for him to get to take care of him when Takara gets sick.

Century of Love

I've been having a lot of fun with this show, but episode 8 felt like a huge wobble. I love that San was so committed to Vee the whole time, but the back and forth about the stone was tedious. San giving up the stone as a way to signify that he was over the memory of Vad was nice, but we didn't reconcile Vee's theft and the emotional cost of that.

Love Sea

MAHASAMUT!! WE FINALLY BEAT THAT NASTY OLD MAN'S ASS!! Mut trampling over a bullshit breakup and kicking Rak's dad's ass instead was so satisfying that it almost makes up for Mut having little identity outside of his relationship to Rake, or the terrible arc that Mook and Vie are having, over the last few weeks. I have been playing Stomp for the last few hours because I needed them to kick that man. Mut did not hit him enough.

New Shows

There's a bunch of stuff I have to sort out over the next few days. I'm not going back to My Love Mix Up TH, but I do plan to start 4 Minutes. There's also another J-BL in the grey I got some help finding called Sugar Dog Life.

Shout out to @lurkingshan for helping me watch a few things while I was gone, and also @twig-tea for keeping me apprised of which new shows I probably need to pick up.

[pastanest]

Spencer Reid x gn!reader

A/N: been gone for a hot minute due to personal circumstances but just wanted to drop a lil something (that anyone who watches Doctor Who will be able to tell I started writing a BIT ago given the references here lol) to let you guys know I’m still kickin it <3

warnings: slight hint at an age gap but nothing specific

A Smile

You can imagine the rest of the team would be floored to hear that Spencer has actually exchanged texts with you on a multitude of occasions, outside of professional settings. Numbers were swapped on your first day, naturally, and to begin with you only dared text Spencer if you had absolutely no other choice (if another member of the team could text him, you’d busy yourself to ensure they would, rather than ask you, to save you the embarrassment). But, ever since the first occasion that you texted Spencer a random question out of hours - regarding trivia you definitely hadn’t spent a concerning amount of time deciding on before you sent it to him - you have formed a bond that’s unspoken beyond typed words.

You: so, are you looking forward to the 60th Anniversary? :P

As you hit send, you roll onto your bed, grinning giddily down at your phone. In no more than a few seconds, your screen tells you that your beloved genius is already typing back to you, and within a minute, you receive the paragraph you’d anticipated.

Spencer: Absolutely. The revival of Russel T. Davies’ era, coupled with the return of Murray Gold’s legendary scores, are sure to ignite the spark of nostalgia that the show has been missing for some time. In particular, I am looking forward to seeing how Russel will format this new regeneration of the Doctor, and how many references to his predecessors will decorate the anniversary episodes, especially. I take it you are excited for the anniversary episodes, too, hence the question?

His formality and enthusiasm being conveyed in a way that is so distinctly Spencer, even over text, is enough to have you giggling. You know by now that if you ask something about one of Spencer’s interests, whether it be facts, statistics, generalized trivia, questions, literature, Star Trek or, in this case, Doctor Who, there is no way he can downplay his excitement.

You: knew it! :D and yeah, I'm super excited!!

Mostly, you are thrilled by the thought of discussing the episodes at great length with Spencer for weeks after they’ve aired, but you keep that safely in the subtext of your conversation.

Spencer: Of course you knew. Perhaps we could share a live commentary on the anniversary episodes, if we’re not otherwise engaged with a case?

Only Spencer Reid can make your heart stop with a suggestion like that. Before you can consider any consequences, you are frantically typing back to him.

You: I’d love that! will the commentary be by text or call?

He is typing the moment your message reaches him, his ability to read at what you consider to be the speed of light making for a wonderfully speedy texting partner in every conversation you have.

Spencer: Either is fine, but if we aren’t away on a case, I must admit the idea of experiencing the episodes together in person would be most preferable. It eradicates the risk of our viewings not being synced up or our call connection potentially spoiling the immersion. What do you think?

And just like that, he’s stopped your heart again. In fact, you truly have to consider whether Spencer Reid has figured out a means of reaching through his phone to yours, to snatch your heart right out of your chest. As though he hadn’t already stolen it on the day you met.

You: I think you’re right, like always, Doctor Reid :P

That’s a rational reply, you think. Not too eager. Not the resounding ‘yes’ that every fiber of your being is screaming. In the chess game that is how-to-text-Spencer-Reid, you have marked yourself as the queen. He’d tell you that’s not how chess works, but he’d probably also agree.

Spencer: I’m far from right “always”, but I very much appreciate that you think so.

You’re about to reply, when another text appears on your screen.

Spencer: (:

Doctor Spencer Reid has double-texted you. And, not only that, he’s sent you a smiley face. This is unprecedented. Your jaw drops.

You: omg you did not just send that

Honestly, your life is flashing before your eyes as you lie on your bed. Is this the power of your influence? Could you truly indoctrinate older men into sending emojis? Could this really be you?

Spencer: I most certainly did. I’ll even do it again.

Spencer: (:

He had to send it as a separate text. He couldn’t just add the smiley face to the end of his original message. No, of course he couldn’t.

You: omg who are you!!

You’re laughing now. Actually, properly laughing at the ridiculousness of this situation. Wait until Penelope hears about this.

Spencer: I don’t think these suit me very much, but they are fun. What about this one - 🙂

This is going too far. You’ve played God. You’ve flown too close to the sun. You’ve created a monster in the form of Spencer Reid using emojis while still being so formal. Still, you can’t deny that this is perhaps the funniest conversation you have ever had, with anyone, specifically because it perfectly demonstrates the unique humor shared between the two of you.

You: woah! careful! don’t push it, genius!!

And, in response to that, Spencer Reid is left with a philosophical question he has never before pondered: how does one convey sincere laughter via text? This reply takes him the longest, because he has to consider it very carefully. He wants it to indicate how funny he did find your message, and does find you, in general. He wants it to be obvious in its intent and impossible to misunderstand. So, after four minutes, you receive a text that has you laughing so hard you very nearly fall off of your bed.

Spencer: Haha.

Sometimes, that’s simply how your text conversations with Spencer end. While he does, generally, prefer a more traditional ending in the form of a goodnight text (that he actually makes the effort to sign off with a “- Spencer x”, like it’s a handwritten letter), he enjoys the nuances of an open end, on the basis it means a conversation with you doesn’t have to end. Only has to pause, temporarily, until one of you picks it back up again. There is something poetic, Spencer thinks, to the notion of you being his constant both in metaphor and literally in a text conversation that isn’t formally closed. That door is left open to you, much like the door to his heart is.

And that night, he closes his eyes with a smile on his face at the thought of you, everything you are, everything you make him feel. Everything that makes you, you, and how that makes you everything to him.

A text could never truly convey the heaven that you bring to him by existing, but just like proposing plans to watch Doctor Who with you, it’s a good place to start.

[pzychojinx]

as I said, act two left me with genuinely mixed opinions. that said, I slept on it and I think I'm able to verbalize it a little bit.

let's start with what I think went right in this act. first of all, obviously, the animation and art. if possible, they're outdoing themselves. I love the experimentation, I absolutely adored the pastel tones they used for vi and jinx's childhood memories, the way isha's point of view sequence feels like it's straight out of a ghibli movie, I loved the distortion effects used on jayce and every single visual effect they used for viktor to convey this sense of absolute inhumanity, the entire messianic visuals were insane, warwick was gorgeous especially during sequences where we didn't get to see him but rather we got to see the camera following his massacre. gorgeous. no notes.

episode four, in my opinion, was near perfect plot-wise too. seeing the new state of the military situation in zaun, getting to see sevika as the rallier of the revolution, isha's drive to be a fighter for zaun leading her to impersonate jinx when needed, the whole mission to enter stillwater - I genuinely think it was incredible. most of all, it was probably my favourite jinx episode to date. and that's saying a lot. this is a character I've resonated with and held very very close to my heart for three years now. seeing her gain not only a younger sister through whom there could be a process of reclaiming her own past, but also very importantly seeing her gain new objectives and seeing her gain community, was deeply healing and heartwarming to me. that one scene where her followers touch her, not only as an idol but as an equal, is so so moving and good. isha was the kickstarter to jinx's reclaiming of powder and a sense of stability, sure, but living in a fantasy with isha alone could have very easily led her to the same old mechanism of co-dependency - thus never breaking the cycle that silco himself perpetrated onto her. but no, they made her respected. they made her see a nation of people who saw something in her. they gave her goals, even if she reasonably only started giving a fuck about said goals when her sister/child went missing. it was everything I never thought could happen to her. it was healing.

episode five is where the issues start, I think. first of all, there's been way way way too much space dedicated to the black rose. much as I love mel, much as I find her truly intriguing, her plotline is so severely disconnected from everything else and it feels un-cohesive. before s2 started, one of my main fears was that they would give noxus an excessive screentime in order to prepare the viewers for a future noxus project and I hate to see that I was right. this leads to the second issue, which is pacing. and specifically, vi. vi stans, how are you doing? because to be fair, the show kind of fucked you over and there's no sugar-coating it. the fact that vi's fighting pit era lasted three minutes was genuinely ridiculous. the entire plotline involving her, jinx and warwick in episode five was way, way too rushed in order to make space for black rose content - and again, I love mel, I love ambessa. but there's no doubt something was off here in terms of pacing and screentime. now, I don't think the episode was bad. I loved the dynamic between jinx and vi. with jinx having gained some sort of a stability (at least, for her standards) and vi having nothing else to lose, the fact that their conflict turned into a half unwilling cooperation felt very real and believable to me and I loved their interactions, especially in the micro expressions; it all screamed family bond where something went awfully wrong but here we fucking are and the love is still there at the roots. I just, you know, would have liked to see more of it. the final hug with warwick felt, to me, less earned than it could have been if we just had a little more time with these characters in this arc. was it emotional? sure, but could it have hit harder if the episode was just structured a little bit differently, a little more cohesively, especially regarding vi? yeah. and another question: would the zaunite revolution arc have needed more than just one episode before being pushed aside and sort of forgotten? probably, yeah, even though there's no comparison with how vi's arc was reduced to three mins. so again, pacing issue. still, I had no particular issues with the plot and the contents of the story itself. I would say episode five was rushed, crammed and structurally weak, but the story still hit me in all the right ways when it needed to. vi and jinx's reluctant steps to some sort of understanding hit me hard, in spite of any structural weakness.

episode six... well. episode six leaves me so conflicted. 'cause the thing is, it's dope. I think it's a fucking bomb. they managed to fit nearly (nearly - mel being, again, dissociated from the main storyline and in this case, absent) every character's plotline into a cohesive arc. it kept me on the edge of my seat near the whole time. there were so, so many things I absolutely adored - the imminent attack on the commune from ambessa, the way they managed to make warwick a center plot point and use that plot point to show us both the benefits and the limitations of viktor's hexcore messianic utopia cult, everything regarding jayce's return (whom is getting so much hate, but come on, it's clear the man has seen Some Things), the way the episode starts off with a plan but not necessarily a sense of deep urgency and then the urgency slowly creeps in and it explodes into a fucking battlefield. again, warwick. vi and jinx's slow re-building of some trust, slow reclaiming of family love. viktor. man, I adored their work on viktor. I just found it dope. the thing is, episode six has two major, major issues that I just can't seem to get past and this time it's plot issues, which makes it worse than 2.05 for me.

the first one, caitlyn. sure, I get that caitlyn wasn't fully onto ambessa's methods. but there's a very huge leap from 'I distrust this person and I question her methods' to 'my ex told me that this savage monster that just brutally mauled our men is her father so I'm just gonna help her save him'. like jesus, come on. caitlyn deserved better than this. (again, shoutout to vi stans, cait stans and caitvi stans, they did you dirty.) especially when I think they did such a good job on her descent in act one. the second one, isha. look, I'm gutted if she's dead. like fucking gutted, mourning, red-wedding level in shock, like, can't even think about it without wanting to cry. but this is not just an emotional thing. in fact, I love some good angst. no, this is a narrative issue. they spent the entire act - the entire season - building up jinx's healing and to take it all away like this, to bring her back to step one, just feels like fucking trauma porn for the sake of it. it feels unnecessary and cheap, and cheapness is the one thing I can't forgive arcane. like, what was the point? why not have her spiral from 2.01 if this was the direction? it's beyond me and it makes me feel so bitter, so sick, that at times it's hard for me to remember that there were so, so many things I adored in these three episodes. again, 2.04 is up there as my favourite jinx episode to date. 2.05 gave me some of my favourite siblings moment in the entire show. 2.06's work on viktor and hexcore and magic is otherwordly. I'm so glad I got these episodes, genuinely. and yet.

'cause the thing is, - not considering the isha thing for a minute - aside from my critique regarding caitlyn, and aside from having to make peace with how rushed/crammed the pacing is, this show is still absolutely gorgeous to me. it's still gorgeous art to me. sure, s2 has its very real issues. and for sure, it's absolutely reasonable to recognize them, critique them, and still find it an incredible story. but this. fuck, this could change everything to me. if isha's truly dead, then it means they wasted six episodes on what could have been one of the best, most genuine, most earned stories of unexpected healing I'd ever seen on my screen just to throw it away and I'm not sure how to forgive them for that. episode six itself was dope. episode six isn't really where my gut-deep fear and bitterness comes from. it's where it could lead from now on. I'm so holding out hope on ekko saving the day, even if it's a deus ex machina. it's a deus ex machina I'd accept if it means not throwing away jinx's entire road to recovering. but I don't know, guys. I don't know. making her spiral as a general s2 choice would have been one thing, and I would have been on board, but this is something else entirely. this is cheap betrayal and if true, if confirmed, if real, it's a sour taste.

[lurkingshan]

Every You Every Me

The Final Story (Part 2)

Time to finish this! [Edit from the future: I did not like this finale, so there's your warning!]

Ngl once the reveal was done and we were just in a bl about two annoying actors with a bad relationship this got less interesting. Still love the narrative device of this being about an actor pair across shows, though, that was clever. I just wish this actual story about Pun and Inn was better.

Part of my issue with this final plot is I still don't even know why Inn broke up with Pun in the first place. I don't really know what Inn's supposed to be apologizing for, other than this vague idea that he was self-absorbed. Meanwhile we actually did see Pun shut Inn out of his career decisions which directly affect him, so this one-sided apology feels weird.

I also don't love the connection they drew here between their personal and professional relationships, like they couldn't do their jobs if they weren't getting along. We know actors can act through a ton of BTS strife and still turn in good performances (EarthMix MLC divorce era, anyone?).

Like, why is Pun sobbing this hard after dumping Inn? Why dump him if he's still this attached?? Why ditch him for a new partner without ever discussing it? I don't really get Pun's deal here.

"Years later" well that's nice and vague, thanks chyron.

Why are the bad actor side pair here in this film? We saw them together and they were terrible, it was part of the plot!

Suddenly, a flashback? Inn is drunk so it's def time for a bl white towel sponge bath.

I am... so confused. When did this drunken heart to heart take place? Before or after the dramatic breakup? And why would they have to wait years to be together? But Pun assumed Inn didn't even remember??

Okay so if I have pieced this together right, they had this drunken convo the same night we saw them out with their friends, then wrapped the show, then had a dramatic breakup despite having already had this conversation and Pun knowing that, but Inn didn't remember/thought it was a dream, and they just didn't speak for years until Inn showed up with the flowers. This is so convoluted and I am just baffled over here.

Anyway, I guess they're gonna get married now even though they have a really bad and non communicative relationship. Sure!

Quite a choice to skip any physical intimacy scenes for the "real" couple after all that. I don't think I like it.

What a mess of a final episode. It's so strange that they went to the trouble of coming up with this interesting and creative narrative and executed it pretty well only to falter on coming up with a basic romance arc to finish the story well. I'm disappointed this didn't end stronger so I could recommend it to people. Ah well, at least Mick and Top are a good pair; their chemistry did a lot of the heavy lifting. And it was fun watching the shows within the show and puzzling out what was going on. I'm glad they tried something different even if they didn't land it in the end.

[mevuelvelocatuboca]

If the first episodes of the week made me uncomfortable..these last two have been a rollercoaster of emotions.

Usually, when I watch this kind of show I cried a lot. For the impossible loves, the unfair destiny, the desire that goes beyond every social law and every rational thoughts.

Well, seeing Marta de La Reina forced to come out to her father was something that doesn't made me cry.

It made me angry and sad, made me reminder some conversations with my mother and feel all the emotions that Marta felt in those moments.

At the same time I felt the gratitude for a lot of things, first for living in this era - even with all of its problems - and not back then.

Gratitude towards all the Martas of the time, because we know that this kind of conversation has happen at the time.

Gratitude for be able to see this story, so well written and even better acted that all of us were in these scenes, suffering with Marta and having her back emotionally.

For a brief second I even thought that Damian, when he was walking towards his daughter, was going to hug her at the end. Then I remember that he is the person who had cover Jesus worst actions, didn't tell Digna the truth, blackmailed Andres and Begoña for their love and pay for Valentin's false death certificate and for a fake letter to convince his son to marry a woman he doesn't love.

And in front of him Marta have always had to do more and to be more perfect than her brothers, so - even if her "sin" really didn't hurt anyone - Damian can't allow her to be who she really is.

Instead do you know when I cried? When Marta goes to Fina's apartament to tell her everything and she can't even speak at first because when she sees her at first she admires her in all of her beauty and she thinks that maybe it's really over for them but then Fina, after the initial fear, reassures Marta like only her can do reminding her that she won't give up, she will never leave her, never, no matter what.

And they start to think and realize that they have to fight against whoever want to hurt them. Together, always together.

All of this is perfectly shown when Marta come back home and talk again with her father: she is more sure of herself, of her Love, she knows that Fina will never leave her side and she clearly verbalize this self-awarness to Damian: "it's you the one who didn't understand. We are in love and it is a clean and honest love, I don't feel that I am doing anything bad so nobody or nothing is going to separate us.

Do you want to report us? DO IT!"

With the last line Marta de La Reina get out of the room with her head held higher then ever. And I can't be more proud of her journey and to be a part of a community that shows courage every single day.

# cant wait for the talk between fathers

# but especially I want a hug between Isidro and Marta

# come here hija, I'll be your father too from now on

# but you have to treat well my Fina obviously

[asystol]

KISS OF LIFE

HIGHLIGHTS

their debut showcase was the first stage nakyung’s been on since iz*one disbanded and she was just shaky with nerves the entire time.

the members were all equally nervous though so they all comforted one another.

with a few exceptions, some of her iz*one members did come to the showcase and visited her backstage!! due to schedules, some weren’t able to such as j-line besides sakura 😕

yunjin also came as they were pledis trainees together!

for those that couldn’t come, she, of course, got a kkt from them congratulating her for her re-debut <3 iz*one girlies aside, she also got messages from idols like chungha, itzy’s ryujin and chaeryeong, fromis_9’s nagyung, and chuu.

it made her super emotional as she missed them a lot and wishes they could’ve all still been together in a group but also she really likes where she is now. she’s more than content with her present and future path.

nakyung had changed so much from her iz*one days, she thought fans wouldn’t like her anymore or forgotten about her since it’d been so long😭

but she did get a lot of support from fans all around the world and in korea

her intro ment. <3 “hello, i’m kiss of life’s nakyung. it’s nice to finally be on stage again and i’m so excited to be here with my members. thank you for being here. we’ll work hard so please take care of us!”

she was soo overwhelmed by the amount of support and the change from what it used to be but she was certain she’d get used to it again.

as every stage went by and their fanchants got louder, she got visibly so much happier !!

she made sure to read every letter she got from a fan, even if it made her lose sleep. she was determined lmao

for her solo song, it’s named heart attack <3 she had a lot of fun with this song and she didnt participate in the lyrics (PUBLICLY!!) but she had fun filming the mv and even performing it when she did

her solo lore is about how she ‘fell in love’ with performing. the mv focuses on her chasing after her idol dream !!

heart attack was reallyyy well received by the public!! it gained kiof more attention, especially with intl fans

she made sure to do shhh challenge with chaeyeon, chaeryeong, newjeans’ danielle, zerobaseone’s hanbin and matthew, and literally anyone she managed to meet during music shows

also she was promoting kinda at the same time as bts’ jungkook and was lowkey freaking out every time they were in the same vicinity. somehow it felt different seeing him than any other time back in iz*one.

i feel it’s also important for everyone to know that natty is the reason she joined s2 lol

also her hair was blonde/honey blonde very important idc

nakyung showed up for kiof’s episode on ITSLIVE !!! like she was rehearsing over everything she was so excited

she also went solo on youngji’s nothing much prepared and it was fun, she doesn’t like drinking alcohol a lot so she’s kind of a lightweight which is how she announces to youngji and the viewers that she collects her bias’ photocards 💀

she regretted it so much the next day.

they also got to perform shhh at seoul fashion week?? crazy

as the era came to an end, she was sad about it but knew this was only a new beginning. and it could only get better.

PHOTOCARDS

POPULAR FANSITE SHOTS

HEART ATTACK OUTFITS

( FIRST IS AT KARAOKE, SECOND IS AT AUDITION, THIRD IS ‘ON STAGE’, FOURTH IS THE STUDIO, FIFTH IS FANSIGN )

HEART ATTACK MV

the mv starts with nakyung entering a karaoke bar with her friends, arms linked with another brunette girl.

the scene leads to her performing on the karaoke stage as the song ‘heart attack’ starts, a surprisingly upbeat song for the dark atmosphere of the karaoke bar.

she’s having fun! the crowd, however… is not enjoying it. her friends are torn between cheering her on or having secondhand embarrassment before the brunette girl she was with pulls her off the stage and out the karaoke bar. the song abruptly cuts off before the first verse ends

she’s confused and slightly angry, wanting to go back and finish her performance but the friend pulls her back. the viewers can’t hear what the friend is saying, hearing muffled sounds of water instead. but nakyung is visibly getting more upset and angry, tears rising to her eyes but refusing to fall.

she takes off, walking home in the dark in angry and upset silence until she catches sight of an audition flyer for a company. she tears it off the wall and the scene ends.

the scene starts with nakyung nervously staring at a door before following an older man inside. a camera is facing the wall, three people, one man, two women, are behind the camera, facing her.

with a deep breath, she bows and introduces herself. this is the first time the viewers have heard her voice. the woman tells her to start when she’s ready.

nakyung starts to sing heart attack again and the background changes from the room to a large stage, now changed into different clothes than before.

the viewers are shown a large crowd, all holding red lightsticks in the air but too blurred they barely even look like lightsticks— all you can see is the red glow.

nakyung is dancing to the choreo along with other girls dressed in simple black clothes; her backup dancers.

the scene switches to her in a recording studio, still singing heart attack. it turns to the staff behind the window, nodding in satisfaction.

the scene switches again to nakyung holding fansigns, talking to fans and signing albums.

the viewers are shown nakyung performing on stage in the same red outfit, the song and fanchants coming to an end as she smiles at the crowd/camera.

the viewers hear the crowd roar with screams before the scene switches, changing back to the green screen and same room before.

the woman raises her brow expectantly, “well? are you going to start or continue wasting our time?”

nakyung stares at her before bolting from the room, tearing her audition paper off her body and aiming to throw it in the trash but it bounced off and fell to the ground.

as she runs out of the building, she bumps into another girl. it’s natty. they stare at one another before nakyung runs off again.

natty turns, looking at the paper and picking it up. it focuses on the name— 이나경.

BYE MY NEVERLAND OUTFITS

BYE MY NEVERLAND MV

nakyung trips as soon as she’s out of sight from natty. when she gets up, her knees are bleeding. she hisses at the pain and walks faster to get home.

a car passes by nakyung, splashing water on her from the previous rain. she gasps in shock, looking up and making eye contact with julie who is looking back in concern before the car turns the street quickly.

she has a solo shot of her, still wet and shivering only in a shirt and skirt, walking past belle, who is on the ground with her head in hands. she hesitates as if debating on whether to ask her if she’s okay or not, but ultimately continues walking away. belle looks up in time just to see nakyung walking away, back facing her.

she’s seen looking up at the fireworks in awe along with the rest of the members.

somehow she’s made her way back to the girls and back to where the audition was— showing up just in time to watch julie’s car hit natty. her mouth drops open, watching natty try to walk it off.

the mv ends but i imagine julie offers her a ride home seeing she’s soaked and cold </3 she also felt bad

SHHH OUTFITS

( FIRST IS IN KITCHEN, SECOND IS AT PARTY, THIRD IS WHEN THEY’RE DANCING/DEBUT SHOWCASE, FOURTH IS DANCE PERFORMANCE VIDEO )

SHHH MV

along with julie, nakyung walks through the door in the morning. she’s putting the groceries away, noting that the fridge is empty. she turns her head, making eye contact with belle as she walks in the door.

nakyung nudges julie, nodding her head to the bruises and scrapes on natty’s body. she shakes her head, watching as julie just wraps the bandages over her limbs.

nakyung hugs natty around the shoulder as they start having a mini fashion show, getting a black dress thrown at her head.

she’s changed into her jean dress, pulling belle by the arm when she stops in the doorway.

the next scene, she’s on the other side of natty and looking off.

nakyung’s back is facing haneul, but she turns around when julie does. she spots the boy following after haneul, immediately taking off after them with the girls.

nakyung reaches the boy first, shoving him back and letting natty push him into the stall while belle grabs the trashcan and dumps it over his head. she turns and follows behind natty and haneul.

nakyung’s running with belle and julie, and sits in the middle of the backseat with belle and natty.

nakyung adds the heart on haneul’s finger with nail polish.

at the gas station, she tries on sunglasses and grabs a keychain to … “buy” before heading to the gas pump with natty, handing her a candybar.

in the parking lot, natty pulls nakyung up to dance. she dances to the correct part of the choreo, following the rest of the girls to the railing at the end of the song.

nakyung meets natty and the rest of the girls at the top of the stairs, eyebrow raising expectantly with a small smile on her face before they all get into position.

TRACKLIST

쉿 (Shhh)* TITLE

안녕,네버랜드 (Bye My Neverland)

Sugarcoat (NATTY Solo)

Countdown (BELLE Solo)

Kitty Cat (JULIE Solo)

Play Love Games (HANEUL Solo)

Heart Attack (NAKYUNG Solo)

LINES

SHHH

잊지 마 You’re so special

One thing I know about you [ 0:25 — 0:29 ]

It’s so sweet

날 따라 당당하게 네가 상상한 대로 [ 0:48 — 0:53 ]

알잖아 We want it more [ 1:27 — 1:29 ]

I wake u up up up UP [ 1:48 — 1:51 ]

Just like this

내 꿈은 On your lips [ 2:00 — 2:05 ]

[NAKYUNG/BELLE/HANEUL] And we going hard, Cuz we are [ 2:28 — 2:35 ]

날 따라 당당하게 네가 상상한 대로 [ 2:48 — 2:51 ]

Bye My Neverland

시계 위로 달려 장면을 넘겨

���추고 싶지 않아 [ 0:45 — 0:51 ]

난 더 숨고 싶거나

감추지 않아

Don't wanna stay more [ 1:35 — 1:40 ]

So, I won't stop my time

아파도 자라고 싶어 난

I get a little bit lonely [ 2:16 — 2:23 ]

(Ooh, yeah) [ 2:53 ]

I’ll never come back [ 2:55 — 2:56 ]

Heart Attack (NAKYUNG Solo)

[ 0:00 — 3:14 ]

[hwadam-stories]

⊹ PHANTOM PAINS ⊹ PILOT EPISODE

(black!fem!) mea harper!reader x ceo boss!dhan tae-oh

ᴍɪɴᴏʀꜱ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛ

I do not consent to my work being reposted, — stolen or translated anywhere else.

⊹ CW: long post, emotional cheating, unrequited love, depression, fluff, drama, etc.

⊹ SYNOPSIS: Celebrating his niece's birthday at a restaurant, Dhan recognizes you from across the room as his past lover from five hundred years ago and is determined to stop at nothing to be with you again.

⊹ A/N: this is my first serious fanfic, feedback on this pilot (comments, messages & reblogs only!) will help me consider continuing it with motivation. Canon divergent / somewhat canon compliant to the MEA CULPA (2024) film by Tyler Perry with some crossover aspects thrown in. I hope you enjoy!

⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"Does Your Majesty wish to meet again in our next lives?" You asked, wrapping your arms around him.

"Of course, were you considering abandoning me?" Dhan replied, chuckling.

"Okay then, when the time comes, I'll be your master once more." You promised. "Your love. Your pain. Even your very last breath, please give them all to me."

"They are all yours, y/n."

⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹

There was a time when those words meant everything to him.

A time when finding you meant everything to him.

But after his fifth life, Dhan had given up on his search and the phantom pains have haunted him ever since.

It was a pain that wasn't his, a pain that never faltered in reminding him of his failure despite the many times you two were reincarnated throughout the last five hundred years.

Your souls were connected after all and even though this pain has brought him a great deal of misery, part of him hoped you weren't feeling anything.

Presumably, because he was always reincarnated as a man, he assumed you would be reincarnated as a woman but other than that, he never really had any concrete way of finding you. It was safe to assume that since his ethnicity changed, yours did too.

Not that he particularly cared what race you were now, all that mattered was that he was reunited with you. But that promise has become nothing but a fleeting dream. A delusion Dhan couldn't completely let go of because this pain meant that you were alive, somewhere out there. Hopefully looking for him too.

In every lifetime after the first one, he always accumulated a great deal of wealth somewhere in his mid to late twenties under the name of Dan.

In this era, he was Dhan Tae-Oh, the boss of a CEO corporation in Korea and came from a long line of gangsters that reinforced the values of family and business to a rather high degree.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Tonight, he was celebrating his niece's 9th birthday and his sister-in-law's most recent promotion in the fashion industry.

His younger brother, Charles Kang, arranged everything at the finest Italian restaurant in all of Chicago, Illinois, called up Dhan three days before and here they all were.

"You know, we got lucky tonight." Charles set aside his fork and knife for a sip of wine.

"I initially planned to invite more people for Abby's dinner party but a larger group had already reserved a bigger table and I snagged us the only one they had left."

Now that Dhan gave it a second thought, Piccolo Sogno was unusually packed tonight and much busier than he had initially anticipated.

Even looking over his shoulder he could still see the glimpse of the same crowd he passed through, still waiting in line outside.

His assistant, Seon-woo, mentioned something about a on the rise celebrity artist being one of its more known customers over the last couple of years. No one Dhan had really heard of or cared to for that matter.

"Their celebrating their mum's birthday, I heard." Susan remarked, her posh accent gleaming through. She looked past her husband and over her shoulder, seeing the large the table behind them.

There were about five people and that one particular redheaded woman must've been the birthday mom. "Surely Abby won't mind sharing her special day when two cakes come out." Susan teased.

"You got me a cake?!" Abby gasped, beaming with a smile. "Is it a big one?"

"You can only have two slices, young lady." Susan tenderly pinched her daughter's cheek. "The last thing we need is you bouncin' off the walls at 2 o'clock in the mornin' on a school night."

Abby pouted and brought those puppy eyes straight to her uncle.

Dhan stifled a laugh, hiding that cheeky smile behind a half closed fist. "I'm sorry Abby, not even that can convince me to break your parents rules but I'll make it up to you when dessert arrives, I promise."

⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Dessert was served in the form of a double stacked white and pink frosted cake decorated with strawberries and red icing for the words "Happy 9th birthday, Abigail!"

Candles were blown and nine year old Abigail Kang became tonight's birthday girl that the staff (and some nearby tables) sang to. Pictures were taken and there were smiles all around.

The gift that Dhan purchased was a reasonably expensive one but not something he would ever think to showboat about. He simply had some connections here and there and thought to put them to good use for the short time he was going to be in Chicago.

"All fourteen of Taylor Swift's albums!?" Abby squealed, wrapping her arms around her Uncle Dhan and squeezing him tight. "I love it! I love it! I love it!"

Dhan laughed nervously, patting her head and squeezing her shoulder tenderly. "Your arms squishing my insides make that explicitly clear."

Everything was going great. Dhan was feeling great.

That is, until things weren't great anymore.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Dhan suddenly gripped the edge of the table to stop himself from keeling over on the floor of the restaurant.

His chest became uncomfortably tight and his head began throbbed with a splitting sensation.

The phantom pain had returned.

For the sake not wanting to make a scene or ruin what was already a perfect night, Dhan got his breathing under control, keeping some stoicism to his face to not alarm anyone.

The tightness in his chest seemed to lessen but the throbbing in his head wasn't going anywhere.

"Pumpkin, why don't me and you freshen up in the girls' room and leave the boys here, yeah?" As if on cue, Susan took her daughter by the hand and headed straight for the bathroom.

"Dhan." Charles sighed, addressing him in a somber tone of their birth language. Entirely oblivious to what his brother suffering with. "I know we haven't always seen eye to eye but I'm really glad you could make it tonight."

He listened to his brother -- or at least tried to.

The words were being drowned out by a sudden ringing in his ears, leaving him momentarily stunned that it almost felt like the world around him was going to spin.

But he wasn't feeling nauseous from the alcohol or a sudden fever. It felt more like ... resentment.

It put a bitter taste in his mouth and made him clench his fist at the end of the table until his knuckles went white.

His brother hadn't done anything wrong and yet Dhan was being swallowed whole by the sensation, not knowing where to place it.

It's just ... if his brother wasn't the problem, then who?

"Oh look! Her Majesty, The Queen has finally arrived." A woman's voice cackled in the air.

She was an older looking caucasian woman with red curly hair and wine red lipstick, belonging to the group that booked a table for a total of nine and judging by what the already opened and nearly empty wine bottle, she must've had a bit too much to drink.

That's when he saw you approach the table.

It was you. It was really you.

His soulmate.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"Don't worry son, your second wife will be on time." Azalia, your mother-in-law cackled, caressing the cheek of Kal, your husband.

His awkward shuffle of a smile made it crystal clear that whatever came out of her mouth tonight, he wasn't going to come to your defense anytime soon.

What can you expect from a man that holds his disrespectful mother over your marriage of three years?

What's worse is that Azalia had the nerve to invite the one woman she favored more.

Your husband's childhood friend, Jenna.

The same childhood friend that had become the topic of your marriage counseling session that your husband Kal had ditched midway through for this dinner party.

A session that you had to finish by yourself, making you the one who arrived late.

Jenna was a tall, light skinned woman with dark curly hair and a bright red dress with a V neck to show off a window of cleavage and a shortened skirt to show off her toned and slender legs.

And to add salt to fucking wound -- Azalia made sure Jenna sat next to your husband while you sat at the end of the table with your only friend and sister-in-law, Charlise.

"I'm sure you won't mind, y/n. You and Charlise probably wanna talk anyway."'

You looked at Kal, searching his gaze for something, any sign of him speaking up to his mother but to your utter disappointment he just let it happen.

You can only push down the intense feeling of resentment and agitation with a passive aggressive smile, taking your seat at the far end with Charlise.

This was going to be a long dinner to get through.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Apart from a brief exchange of words from your brother-in-law, Ray Hawthorne, and the couple sitting across from you, Charlise was the only saving grace at this table and frankly the only reason you kept it together as long as you did.

As much as you wanted to tear off that terrible red wig and burn it, you tuned out your mother-in-law whenever she made any more chide remarks about you.

Not much of a point in ignoring your husband, he was too focused on Jenna and giving Azalia one of the most expensive birthday gifts you had ever seen.

A silver and gold watch that you knew your unemployed husband didn't have the money for.

"Happy birthday mom, from me and y/n."

You scoffed in utter disbelief and stood up from your seat, grabbing your purse. "If you'll excuse me, I think I need some fresh air."

"Oh, well you take your time. We're doing fine here." Azalia insisted, smiling from ear to ear.

Kal was on the verge of getting out of his seat, expressing concern. "I can come with you babe--"

"No." You snapped coldly, barely sparing him a glance as you waved him off dismissively. "I'll be fine on my own, thank you."

Kal frowned, lowering himself back down with a defeated expression. "A-Alright, just don't stay out there too long."

You sighed into the night air, hands pressed against the metal railing while the people behind you carried on with their evening under the lit up patio roof. Glasses clanking, people laughing, wine pouring and plates clinking.

All of it was just background noise to drown out one particular thought that you couldn't run away from.

Maybe it's time to put this relationship on permanent leave.

It's not a pleasant thought. It never was. You and Kal had known each other for eight years and had been married for the last three of them. You've had your ups and downs like any other couple and got through it but this? This was too much. His mother was too much.

But that's probably what SHE wants. The sooner you're gone. The happier she'll be.

You only stuck it out this long because you genuinely loved Kal and Charlise was the anchor keeping you grounded.

As one of Chicago's most successful defense attorney's alongside your brother-in-law, you had everything and yet nothing at all with how your marriage was starting to fall apart, on top of shouldering the numerous bills since Kal lost his job as an anesthesiologist.

God, where did it all go wrong?

"Having a rough night?"

You were snapped out of your thoughts by the deep and smooth voice of a man walking up beside you. The cool night's breeze washing over you both.

He was a tall and handsome man of Korean decent. The darkness of his long hair making the crimson color of his eyes seem as though he were some beast straight out of a fairytale.

Alluring eyes that stared into you with a hint of sincerity and invitation.

You can barely hold in a chuckle, crossing one arm over the other to let your wedding ring glint in the moonlight. "That would be the understatement of tonight."

He sees this and can't hide the smirk on his face. "I don't blame you. In-laws can be infuriating like that sometimes. Especially mother-in-law's."

The restaurant wasn't exactly that big in terms of table arrangements so it makes sense one's antics would be overheard when they're standing around the biggest table in the room.

You chuckle again. The tightness in your chest starting to lighten but your smart enough to keep up you guard to shut down any potential flirting, even the harmless kind. "Can you expect anyone to act cordial on their birthday? I've been here all night without a single drink of my own and tolerating her has been exhausting."

You certainly weren't the type to open up like this to a stranger of all people but it felt good. Yes, you had your friend, Charlise, but there was something different about this man. Something oddly familiar.

"Because she's acting like a cunt towards you and only you and you feel that if you didn't step out when you did you would've tore her a new one right infront of her favorite son and the entire restaurant?" He guessed your exact feelings with a cheeky smile.

You exhale a baffled laugh.

It's like he knew exactly what you were feeling.

"Oh, so you're a mind reader now?"

He raises his right hand, jokingly. "Guilty as charged, your honor."

The both of you laugh.

"Dhan."

"Y/n."

Dhan smiled, staring longingly into your eyes. "A pleasure to meet you, y/n."

⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Eventually, you were back inside the restaurant. Sitting comfortably beside Charlise and ignoring another passive aggressive comment from Azalia.

You had been gone for a solid eight, maybe ten minutes tops.

The dinner eventually ended and everyone was putting aside their plates and gathering up their coats and belongings while Ray generously secured the bill.

That's when the waiter approached with an expensive looking bottle of wine.

Ray dismissively waved his hand. "No need to send over anymore wine, sir. You can take that back, the dinner party is over."

The waiter shook his head. "I'm sorry sir this isn't for the table. I'm looking for a y/n, is there a y/n here?"

You raise your hand slightly to get the waiter's attention. "I'm y/n."

The waiter smiled at you, presenting the bottle. "Piccolo Sogno would like to formally gift you our most exclusive wine to enjoy right at home. On behalf of a generous courtesy from Mr. Tae-Oh, ma'am who wishes you a fine night. Thank you for you dining with us."

A bit stunned, you still accepted the bottle. That name alone already clued you in to who this was from.

Unaware of your husband's jealous gaze, you can't hide the smile on your lips as you read the note on the bottle.

A drink to wash away all your frustrations - Dhan.

[misty--nights]

So I'm watching the show yet again (usually I struggle watching shows, I don't know how I've managed to watch it twice already and still want to watch it a third time), and here are some things that I've noticed in episode 1, after the read more because it got longer than expected.

Charles calls himself the brawn and the protector of the two, but it's Edwin who goes all serious and says "I would not let that happen" when Charles asks what they'd do if Death came for them. I'm sure/concerned that he'd try to fight her if she ever came to take them...

Edwin knits!! When they are wearing their disgusses to get the demon out of Crystal he knitts while Charles reads the newspaper. Granted, you can only see him doing for a short moment, so I don't know if he's doing it properly, but I like to think he is. I have many thoughts about this, but it would take over the whole post. I'm still willing to make a whole post for it if anyone is interested but yeah. Bottom line is, Edwin can knitt!

The tone of voice that Crystal uses when she first wakes up in the Agency and in her walk with Charles is really different to the tone she uses the rest of the season. In hindsight, it's pretty obvious that is her mean girl tone, but still, I just think it's a nice detail.

Edwin takes Crystal's coffee cup when she takes the mail? We've just stablished he's not going to drink it, so is he just being petty? Is he going to throw it away or hide it just to be a nuisance? Is he investigating what she got? This boy, I swear...

I know people have pointed out all the Clue boards in the closet, but there's also a ouija board there? Hilarious. Maybe some ghosts prefer communicating with that instead of speaking? Or Charles got it because he thought it was funny and then never got rid of it?

I like that the thing that convinces Edwin to take the Becky Aspen case is Charles asking if he's going to let a little girl die. But more importantly, the title card right after that says "three flights". I've had this question for a bit, but what do they do during those flights? Do the boys spend those just standing in the hallway next to Crystal's seat? Do they sit in the cockpit? Do they hide in the bathroom until someone comes to use it? Do they hope for empty seats they can use? I don't know, every possible version of their trip is so funny to me. I know ghosts don't get tired like alive people, but the idea of them just standing awkwardly off to the side for more than 10 hours is hilarious.

No big detail here, I just love Crystal's purple coat thing she wears in this episode. Never really noticed that it has like flowers embroidered at the bottom, and the color of the whole thing is so nice.

"Maybe he's our fucking demon now." Crystal I love you, that is one of the funniest lines in the episode. I also really like that she gets to be angry and scared. Even if later Jenny talks her down from the worst it, it's not her anger that she points out, it's the fact that people are just like that and how the boys act is nothing personal. Her anger is not directly attacked (except by Edwin, but that's just him being petty), because she gets to be angry about all that's happening to her.

The flashback to Edwin's life at St. Hilarion's changes the video aspect (is that the proper term for that? It makes the screen square like in older films is what I mean.) Also he card for that flasback specifies "Edwardian England" even while having the date at the bottom. I don't know, it made me chuckle that they felt the need to clarify the era even while having the date there. They don't put "modern day England" for Crystal's flashback.

With the way the cat reacted to the sardine, I'm willing to bet he would have told Edwin everything without the binding spell if Edwin had a few more fish for him.

When they're talking behind the shop and Crystal says she gets angry, Charles looks down and takes a bit to respond. I think this is the first time he relates to her. The first time he can call that pull twards her something more than mere attraction. He has this very vulnerable look when she says it and then immediately shows her his parents and tells her something he's never told anyone before? This boy saw his anger in someone else and thought maybe it's fine for him to be angry too.

Is it a trick of the light in the scene where she meets Niko, or does Crystal have a septum piercing?

"If you're sticking around, you gotta let us in." Charles, I love you, but you are the last person who should be saying this. Specially after that sad look he gets when Crystal says it must be hard not being able to talk or hug his parents. You just agreed to what she said, as if that were the truth of why you check on them, what do you mean "you gotta let us in"? (I do get that they haven't known each other for long so he's not going to open up about all his trauma, but precisely because of that, it's wild for him to expect her to do it.)

I never noticed Charles quickly returning the mirror to normal when Edwin comes. I'd noticed the audio cue for the mirror changing back, but I never noticed Charles moving to do it and he looks so panicked about it.

Considering how Edwin is about touch, the fact that he lets Crystal take his hand when she tells the that the case matters is huge.

Why are they planning down at the shop when they have Crystal's room all to themselves? Besides the ambiance, of course. I think Jenny's reaction is completely justified.

Esther leaves her turntable on when she goes to the post office. Is it for Monty? The atmosphere? Did she just forget?

Not a new discovery, just a reminder of something I really like. There's this very specific editing thing (like the quick cuts between the instruments and then the opened lock, I don't know what to call it) that they do pretty much every time Charles picks a lock / opens a door, and it makes me very happy each time. The sound they use for it is perfection.

Edwin's attention to detail is insane. The fact that he can recall one cupboard is further forward than it was in the plans is really impressive.

Charles sounds so done when he throws the magic backpack. "Put her in the bag-of-tricks backpack." Man, I can hear the eye roll in that sentence. Good to know Edwin isn't the only bitchy one in this relationship.

And that's it for episode 1. I think I might do this for the others as well as I watch them. It was really fun to do, and it forces me to pay attention to the details, so I think it's worthwhile.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Hello again! LOVE op's posts about static moth so so much they are giving me ungodly amounts of serotonin ... It's genuinely been such a joy reading your interpretations of their relationship and what makes them work the way they do. Even with the limited amount of content we have of them I believe you've nailed their respective personalities and behavior patterns spectacularly and every single post has been extremely interesting to go through and to analyze off of!

Regarding the reasons as to why Valentino likes vox as a romantic partner, I also believe part of it has to do with some of Vox's more stalkerish tendencies as well? His (not yet canon but close) Voyeurism, his constant need for control, etc.

This is more of a head canon than anything else, but I do genuinely believe Valentino enjoys the obsessive attention he can get only from Vox as it does wonders to quell his constant sense of emptiness, his subsequent feelings of abandonment, and the anxieties that follow. The fact that he knows Vox enjoys stalking him, (probably) gets off on it and is actively deriving pleasure from simply watching him go about his day may be adding to the thrill and content as well. The thing is, as generally absurd and problematic it is, this behavior seems to bring a sense of security for both Partys involved: Throughout the show during all 4 episodes that feature Valentino's presence, we have yet to see a single scene with him without at least one camera tracking his movements. They are everywhere. They follow him wherever he goes, Vox can follow him wherever he goes whenever he so chooses, even to Vals own personal quarters. They are a massive, glaring red flag and quite frankly would bring a suffocating amount of pressure and sense of captivity to any other person under the same circumstance. But Val never brings this up, so I feel he either doesn't think he's in a favourable condition to complain, or he likes the idea of Vox always having his eyes on him. For me I think it's the latter, and I think for him to act so nonchalant around vox's cameras and his potentially constant, 24/7-hour surveillance, it has to have offered him some form of comfort. It has to have made him feel good, either about himself, about the state of their relationship, or both.

(apologies for the sloppy wording, hope you have a wonderful day!)

Awww, Anon, you are so sweet! Reading your question brought me so much joy <3 I think your perspective is spot on, and I wholeheartedly agree with it. I must admit I initially omitted this aspect of their relationship from my initial response because the question specifically focused on love rather than "sexy and toxic stuff." For me, voyeurism and stalking kink are more closely related to the latter category.

That being said, Val undoubtedly enjoys having Vox's eyes always on him. Being a diva and a performer, he relishes performing for Vox, especially knowing Vox's likes all the deranged shit but desperately tries to hide it underneath his clean façade. So he’s basically like “I’m going to hit this bitch for you, Voxy. As a treat.” recognizing that Vox couldn't do it himself without tarnishing his image. In return, Val receives even more attention and admiration, perpetuating the cycle.

Since you've given me the opportunity to delve into Vox's voyeurism further, I'll add some additional insights (I've been meaning to write a proper post about it for some time now but that rabbit hole is just too deep). It's fundamentally about control, of course, and it's simply a kink. However, kinks are not merely about arousal; they involve complex psychological dynamics. People a lot smarter than me wrote a shit ton of essays about voyeurism, especially since it is a very relevant topic in the visual media era. One sentence about Lacan's interpretation of it grasps really well what I have in mind when I think about Vox:

By appropriating the other as image, the voyeur makes it an object of pleasure*, while remaining uninvolved in the other's intimacy.

It’s a parasitic relationship. A voyeur gets symbolic control over their object and it gives them the sense of being powerful. And they don’t have to offer anything themselves – no effort that is required to gain control in situations with two subjects involved, nor the vulnerability necessary in consensual relationships. They can just freely feed on others without offering anything in exchange.

Without delving too deeply into philosophy, Vox's inability to live authentically stems from his obsession with his image, his guardedness, and his need for control. This sets a lot of limitations about what he can allow himself to personalmy experience. So he derives dopamine from "stealing" others' experiences and emotions, while avoiding the effort and vulnerability required in genuine connections.

*In a broader sense, voyeuristic pleasure isn't necessarily sexual; it can manifest as the thrill some people experience from watching macabre imagery in movies, eavesdropping on neighbors' drama, or even watching overly personal vlogs.