#and even the characters who I like a little less than others I can still like. appreciate their role
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there was a poll that went around last week asking who's better at flirting between buck and tommy and it got me thinking how different they are on that front and so i did sort of an analysis on their flirting styles and compatibility because why not, i guess? it is kind of long because brevity? i don’t know her. i’m not sure if anyone will find this interesting but nonetheless:
so, when it comes to buck, he’s natural flirt. he’s not a “fuck-boy” but flirting is an almost natural way of communicating for him. it's not always about attraction, romantic or sexual, and arguably, majority of the time it's an unconscious practice. buck would flirt with the sweet old cashier at the grocery store, his next door neighbour, or the bartender at the club in simple conversation and not realize he's doing so because it's just the way he talks. it’s second nature to him, you know? (note some of buck’s interactions with different characters and you’ll find the presence of a flirty energy.)
and this is because buck’s got a flirty personality. flirty body language. he's a sweet talker. he's playful. and sometimes he can even be a little awkward but it’s endearing. however, while buck is a natural flirt, it doesn’t mean that his flirting with the people he’s attracted to is meaningless or lacking in sincerity.
and when it comes to the physical nature of his flirting, when he's attracted to someone, buck flirts with his entire body—not just with his twinkly eyes and bright smile. he has big physical gestures. he sways into their space. he tilts his head. bats his eyelashes. follows their eyes. he moves around. he talks with his hands, with his arms. and sometimes it’s deliberate but other times, it’s his body’s natural response to attraction. overall, buck is not subtle when he flirts and it really works beautifully for him (most of the time).
tommy — albeit we've only gotten to see him interact with buck in this context — is completely different. he's charming, but he's not a natural flirt in the way buck is, and possibly, his charm may be an acquired taste for some. tommy is also more reserved (sometimes awkward), more contained, and more conscious of/with his flirting. he's not going to be "flirty" with anyone and everyone. however, although he's reserved, he can still flirt well and his flirting is not contrived by any means—he's just very deliberate and pointed with it; particularly in the early moments of his and buck's relationship, and especially before tommy knew for certain that buck was interested in him.
and like buck, there's also a playfulness to tommy's flirting but it's more subtle and something that's grown overtime in their relationship. and when it comes to his body language, tommy's more contained and subtle on that front as well. he largely flirts with his face—his eyes (insane, pointed eye contact), his eyebrows, his smile—and through his voice (shift in tone, volume). and tommy does enter buck's space when he flirts (ex: when he adjusts buck’s shirt after their first kiss) but in less "big" and "bold" ways than buck enters his (ex: buck reaching out and grabbing tommy’s shoulder after the cruise ship rescue). again, tommy's approach to flirting is more subtle but the impact it has is not subtle.
and the most important and beautiful part of this is that their flirting styles complement each other so well. buck's bold and naturally flirty nature gave tommy the ultimate sign and confidence to make The Big Move (kiss buck for the first time) and that’s a chance that i imagine tommy wouldn’t normally take. and for buck, tommy's deliberate flirting has been a grounding force in the moments he's become overwhelmed, nervous, or been in a state where he was trying to process and understand his feelings. for instance, when buck was word vomiting on their first date, tommy's, “so i guess it's just me that makes you nervous," not only made buck blush, but it refocused him, getting him to slow down and pause. it was earnest but deliberate flirting.
and beyond that, buck's cheeky playfulness when he flirts blends perfectly with the more piercing, and sometimes, old-school romantic energy, tommy brings; see the "you're a vision in a cone," moment. they ping-pong off each other in such a seamless way during that scene — with buck being a little cheeky and playful and tommy being dorky and intense. this scene also serves as a great example of buck's big and bold body language movements when he's flirting vs. tommy's more subtle ones. tommy gently knocks his shoulder against buck's to get his attention and keeps it there, where as buck spreads one side of himself—arms, shoulders, legs—into tommy's space, almost pinning tommy with his body.
and of course, these things change depending on time and place. concerning time, from season seven to season eight we saw buck and tommy become more comfortable and domestic with each other so their flirting developed an almost casual-ness to it (ex: “my own boyfriend won’t even kiss me”/ “well that’s not true” and “my spumoni,” / “no, not your spumoni”). and concerning place, there’s a greater forwardness to their flirting when they’re alone, especially with tommy who’s more reserved (ex: “god i hope so” in 710 and the ‘down to fuck’, “what’s up” in 806). and specifically, i think we see a more bubbly flirty side of tommy when it’s just him and buck together (ex; them in 805 and 806 pre-breakup, the “what’s up” mentioned above is one example of this).
overall, the way they both flirt has clear (positive) effects on the other and it's a big reason as to why their chemistry and connection is always so palpable.
and tldr; i think in a general sense, others may find buck to be the better flirt because of his outward bubbly personality versus tommy’s more reserved nature—but when it comes to the context of their relationship, i wouldn’t say one is better than the other. tommy’s definitely making buck blush and giggle in a way buck hasn’t before but buck is also making tommy feel things he hasn’t before. and they were both definitely flirting each other up on the daily when they were together.
#bucktommy#zahraa’s bakwaas#brevity? i don’t know her#who ever reads this ily#<3#there was literally no reason for doing this other than i just wanted to
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GINGERWREN'S PAYNELAND RECS 2024!
I can't believe we have had Charles and Edwin for less than a year. Even still, we've had a lot of fun! I wanted to share some fics, art, and gifs that made this year worth it for me personally. I was talking to a friend recently, and we noticed recent rec lists seem to be short, tag based lists with no real input from the list writer. Many of them also seem to rec the same few fics. Sometimes I feel left out as a smaller writer, and I know my favorite fics also don't always make it onto these lists either.
So, gentle reader, I will not be making a list of tags and summaries. You can read the tags on the fics and the art work, should you choose to view. I will be telling you why I love the works themselves. This is the best way I can think to recommend work to you.
Without further ado: the list is below.
WRITING
sweeter than honey from the rock - @dearheartdont
This lives rent free in my head. Literally in my mind this is like a lost episode or something. I do not want to spoil it or anything, but some of my favorite things in it are the world building (there are delightfully sympathetic clients, and witty antagonists), Charles does... exactly what one would expect Charles to do in order to help the client and protect everyone, and he makes things temporarily worse for himself. Rest assured though, there is a very, very satisfying resolution. Really, this is such a wonderful fic.
Winter Bloom - @skinnybritishdudes
PINK!!! EDWIN!!!! NOW!!!! This was my request for our server's Christmas exchange and it blew me out of the water. Genuinely, the magical mischief PLUS the subtle horror PLUS the absolute tenderness at the end?? Was everything I wanted, and more than I expected. Friendship ended with my own pink Edwin origin story. THIS is Pink Edwin now. Run don't walk for this one (as you can see, I still have not calmed down I am so excited about this one).
Nothing Left to Hide - @roseganymede95
I know I need to say more than "spider jar" but there's a point where I just start crying softly and going "spider jar" while I am reading. Honestly I'm sure if I said that to you, you would probably know which fic I'm referring to. It's this one. It's brilliant. It rewired my brain early on and I haven't been the same since. I found a spider jar pin because it may as well be canon in my mind. They call each other mine in the fic what more do I need to tell you to get you to read this? Join the spider jar cult with me.
right. never finished it.- taableclofh
A classic. Charles tries to save Edwin from Hell. He figures some things out in the process. (This is canon divergent in the best possible way and was a real balm on the soul, somehow).
molliculi (soft little things)- @williamvapespeare
This was made in a lab to make me cry specifically. The first time I finished reading it, it was two in the morning. I stared at my bedroom wall for like twenty minutes, bleary eyed, and then finally managed to type something to @williamvapespeare (who was really gracious about whatever mess I sent, lol). God fuck. It's a character study on Edwin. It's a history of living and dying in 1916. It's wondering what it means to continue on existing, but never have lived on with your peers. It's an outsider's perspective on Charles' trying to figure things out. Go. Go now. Suffer with me.
All Rights Reserved- @phoenix-soar
Do you like possessive Charles? (There's one right answer and it's yes). This fic is the fic. This also lives rent free in my brain. I wish I could say something more coherent but honestly I do not know how much I can say- well there is this lovely description where Charles compares Edwin's eyes to the sea on a stormy day (ao3 is sadly down, I cannot pull the full quote, but it was gorgeous). The rest... 🌶️🌶️🌶️
The Case of the Omegaverse Portal - miraworos
Omegaverse, as specified in the title. Also a very well written casefic, and some really satisfying feelings revelations. Once again: 🌶️🌶️🌶️
ART
Kiss (Blue) - @ent-is-indecisive
Genuinely A I am just amazed by how lovely all the kisses you draw are. Like they come out stunningly, over and over. I have no idea how you pull off this wizardry but it is amazing. Anyway I picked the first picture we ever talked about but I am also genuinely blown away whenever you drop something in LOMA
Collab Gifset For Payneland Week- @mellxncollie
I know you have all seen Ollie's gifs. If you haven't, what are you even doing? (Maybe you're new here. That's okay). It's something special when Ollie makes a gifset for your fic. Genuinely, sometimes I just go back and stare at this one because WOW THOSE ARE MY WORDS. BUT ON A GIF. Genuinely thanks for making my first year in the fandom special Ollie.
Pink Slip- @arisprite
Ari was super great during the flash sketch commissions and we had a blast. Now this reminds me of ongoing convos that @majorlb @deadboyslullaby and I have (and perhaps one day we will do something more with those) but the point here is Ari is great. You all should go and appreciate the wide range of payneland she has made. Her fem!payneland is dazzling, and so is her sad boy Charles (which I think is the first piece I ever fell in love with).
RITUALS - @deadboyslullaby
THE RITUALS ARE INTRICATE. This was a collaboration with @likemmmcookies . @deadboyslullaby worked really hard on the inscription around the edges for this one and I am forever in awe of all the little details here. I want more of them doing strange, arcane stuff together always.
ORBWIN IN CHARLES’ RIBS- @jube-art
This is absolutely what I think is going on when one of them is orbing and the other isn't. No I am not taking feedback. Once more, this was a piece of art that re-wired my brain early on. Ribs are for lovers.
BONUS:
Feathers and Fur - merle_p
Super secret rare pair that rewired how my brain works forever. I love you catcrow. I love you Monty that's a little bit depressed a little bit of a masochist. I love you Thomas who can't help but take in strays but still has teeth and hasn't been declawed in this fic. This fic is just... so... gorgeous*chef's kiss*. I won't spoil it for you, but I implore you to read it so I have more people to talk about this pairing with.
These were all my recs for now. Thank you Dead Boy Detective fandom 2024! We may have had some bumps in the road, but here's to a strong and healthy 2025!
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acting like you’re some woke person just because you advocate for middle aged women to be lifeless on the internet is not the flex you think it is 💀
You seem rather passionate about this so I’m going to indulge your ask to let you know three things:
Writing is a hobby that gets better with age, life experience, and practice. The best pieces of writing objectively come from older people and I’m not talking about fanfiction. I mean books and literature. I’m serious—go look at some of the most well known pieces of literature and then search up the ages of their authors during the years they were published. You’ll find the older writers tend to bust out bangers and this principle is very much applicable to fics too by default. Also writing fanfic is not “lifeless” lol. Some of you act like writing fanfic is juvenile compared to a novel and it’s rly not that different from writing an original piece of fiction. Sure, sometimes fanfic can be a little less on the conventional side in terms of technique. But genuinely the concept of putting characters into situations to create a plot is literally the main thing on both sides here and if you think writing fanfic is silly, it makes 0 sense to hold creative writing to some pedestal. Some fanfic writers demonstrate AMAZING original world building skills especially if they write au’s that diverge from canon and I think you are out of your mind if you think this hobby is not oftentimes an impressive one rather than “lifeless”
Being 30+ doesn’t automatically mean you must/do have a family and kids but I’ll still indulge that point and say you can easily balance a work and personal life while also having a hobby. I know middle aged men who dedicate more time to hobbies like hunting and fishing than middle aged women do with writing. One actually requires you to leave your house and family behind and the other you can do from the comfort of your home and tend to your family should you need to. I think the nature of your opinion only stems from a misogynistic view on aging women but that’s another can of worms
People don’t stop consuming and enjoying things as soon as they hit their third decade of living. If that’s your viewpoint on life, you’re going to set yourself up for a very miserable time once you hit 30. If you’re already 30+ then you’re a hypocrite by default by even being here in the first place lol. Also, life is literally so fucking silly okay? You wake up, work, pay taxes, and try to get by with what is usually an underpaid paycheck. Just fucking enjoy your life and let others enjoy theirs okay? If a 30 year old likes anime, then that is literally so god damn harmless I cannot stress enough how unimportant that is. There are 30 year olds out there doing heinous things in their free time and you choose to be bothered by someone who happens to produce an assortment of words from time to time. Please reevaluate your priorities
All things aside I cannot convince you that being 30+ and enjoying fandom and fanfic is not weird unless you really just realize that it’s not weird. Idk how old you are but I assume you’re younger than 30 because no 30 year old would be on fandom tumblr and then bash others for it. But regardless, just because you think something is weird doesn’t mean it’s bad. It is literally the most harmless thing I do not understand why you would care so much, just move on???? When you think someone dresses weird in real life do you go point it out to them??? No you think it to yourself and move tf on—and if you would voice it to them then you are literally a rude individual. Plain and simple. Rude and disrespectful and I would suggest you again, reevaluate. And it’s the same principle here. You just move on. If you seriously cannot be convinced that this is normal and just absolutely are dead set on believing that 30+ year olds who enjoy fandom are weird, fine. But just keep it to yourself it is the bare minimum you can do to be a decent person I cannot stress this enough to you
And one more thing. The people who are writing the mangas and animes you enjoy so much are middle aged. Older than 30/40. Grown people who might even have families and kids. Creativity has no age limit it is just a small joy that people indulge in at any age and it’s a very nice thing when they share it for others to enjoy, as well. Please just enjoy someone’s art and live a little. I promise you will be much happier and peaceful if you just read a good fic without worrying about the age of whoever produced it. I guarantee you a lot of the BEST fics you’ll read will come from the older writers they are literally doing you a favor if you happen to enjoy reading fanfic. Why bite the hand that feeds you?
#my asks#i really didn’t want to answer this because I think this ask#was sent with the intention to get a reaction#however I think that in general a lot of you view fanfiction as a juvenile thing to enjoy/partake in#therefore you think that older people who participate in the consumption/creation of fanfic are also juvenile/weird#and I think you should really abandon that opinion unless you think creativity as a whole is something that is meant for people in their 20#your opinion seriously becomes applicable to most creative outlets and then you essentially strip 30+ year olds of creativity as a whole#and that is just a very weird way of viewing the world idk#I would suggest being a little less uptight about fun and it’s so called constraints
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i respect your take on snape, although he’s still not really a character i love, but i feel like a huge difference between snape and regulus/james/etc. for people who write fan fics or create stuff for the mauraderers fandom in general is the fact that people have the liberty to create their futures (since they all died very young, regulus is essentially entirely a fanon character, as is pandora, and many others), while with snape like canonically we know how he turns out, how he has mistreated children as a teacher, etc., and that’s just not something everyone can forgive, and yes there are intersectional factors in his upbringing that influence his actions but his actions are still his own, and at that point in the books he is a literal adult with like a lot of power, being a teacher, integral to dumbledor, and important to the DEs, his cruelty just seems quite unnecessary and i don’t think it’s wrong for it to not be everyone’s cup of tea. also to say the whole fandom is classist is honestly a reach, remus, lily, mary, etc. are also not rich pure bloods and they are generally beloved characters.
i get the premise of the point that it would be hypocritical to dislike snape and love characters like regulus, remus, james, etc, but again one of the main draws to these characters is the fact that there is like so little to work with from cannon, but each character has enough about them in cannon to create really interesting character dynamics (and there are just so many characters to work with, like pandora, mary, lily, etc. and the gen x characters are from like three families essentially, there’s just less to work with). with these baseline characteristics and early tragic deaths it’s easy to grasp onto these characters, and write stories where their futures could be better, and they could change for the better while with snape that story is entirely written and his actions just don’t appeal to everyone. snapes arc is quite fleshed out by jkr, in a way the majority of the characters in the mauraderers fandom isn’t, which is also why people might prefer other characters and still not like snape
That would make sense if one of the fan favorites weren’t Barty Crouch Jr, whose future we all know, and it’s much worse than Severus’s. It would also make sense if the only Slytherin they fangirl over were Regulus, but there’s also Evan Rosier, who was one of Voldemort’s biggest supporters. They even let Peter slide on many things, even though he was the main traitor of the Potters and a lifelong bootlicker of Voldemort. Honestly, the issue with Severus doesn’t seem to have anything to do with how he ends up as an adult. I think that’s just a cheap excuse people use to justify their classism and beauty privilege and also to avoid confronting the reality that what bothers them most about Severus as a character is that, indeed, he’s the marginalized victim who doesn’t fit in economically, socially, or physically, who gets mocked for not conforming to beauty standards and for having a non-hegemonic appearance. And that’s literally what those same haters try to impose in their distorted, wannabe version of the Marauders. But Severus doesn’t work for them as a projection because he’s not the cool, popular guy, and they need to project themselves onto characters who were cool and popular to sublimate their unresolved fantasies of school popularity.
#severus snape#severus snape defense#severus snape fandom#marauders fandom#marauders stans#the marauders fandom#remus lupin#james potter#sirius black#peter pettigrew#barty crouch jr#evan rosier#regulus black#slytherin skittles#dead gay wizards
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Christmas day with the MacTavish Family.
Ghost gets invited by Soap who pleads with the luitenient to come knowing if he didn't that Simon would spend the Christmas day alone again.
Ghost who is hesitant to agree because he doesn't exactly want to barge into a family holiday without any of them meeting him before. Despite this Soap reassures him that the MacTavish know plenty bout Ghost and are very happy to welcome him.
So when they finally get the approval from Price to leave for the holidays they spend their first night in a hotel together on Christmas eve. Ghost hasn't really celebrated Christmas much before other than the time with Joseph so he's very..anxious.
He wouldn't call himself a grinch but Christmas brings bad memories up for Ghost, he already struggles with nightmares but they tend to get worse closer to Christmas.
But this time it's a little different, he's not alone in some run down hotel. He's with Soap. He's with someone he can trust. He's with family.
Ghost who lays in the bed whilst Soap reads out some traditional Christmas books that his mother always read to him on Christmas eve. A hand mindlessly running through Ghosts hair who is half awake relaxed in Soaps arms listening to him read.
Every so often Soap will check in on Ghost, a soft whisper asking if he's still comfy and Ghost grumbles in reply but snuggles closer. Enjoying the warmth his Johnny provides. Soap smiling in response giving a gentle kiss to Ghosts crown before continuing to read.
And when Ghost is fast asleep Soap finally places the book down and lays quietly at Ghosts side, holding him close before drifting off himself.
Christmas morning Soap takes the lead helping wake Ghost up, being gentle and slow. Soap and Ghost do their own mini gift exchange before getting in a car for the drive to the MacTavish house hold. Ghost wearing the Christmas jumper Soap knitted for him.
Once they arrive Ghost is standing behind Soap and holding his hand, trying to appear less intimidating. Not wanting anything to go off to a bad start. Soap has a big smile as the door opens revealing Soaps older sister who pulls him into a hug before beaming at Ghost. Introducing herself and her younger children.
Ghost settles in quickly, inside the living room where they are quite a few family members. Ghost is quick to pick up on the fact there's no signs of the mum or dad anywhere, not even in pictures on the wall. He doesn't bring it up especially since he can see how happy everyone is.
He gives a soft smile when Soaps nieces and Nephews come in and chat to him, they don't even question who he is. They just yap away. Just like how Soap does. It makes Ghost chuckle even if he didn't admit how adorable the lil family is.
The one taking lead of the cooking was Soaps younger sister who was chatting with her wife who was happy to give Ghost a gift too! Ghost had never felt so..loved before. He has always had Soap, who was his only family. And now he feels like he has others too.
Ghost even gets to talk with Soaps younger brother who seems more concentrated on the game he's playing, telling Ghost about the lore and the characters. He sits showing Ghost some TikToks too! Even if he seemed like a moody teenager he seemed happy to still chat with Ghost
Soap is sat with his oldest sister watching Ghost get to interact with the family, watching the bounce on Ghosts leg begin to stop as Ghost chats away.
His sister leaning to Soap
"You got a real nice guy this time.."
She says softly
Soap smiles a little nodding
"He's..different"
He explained
"Like genuinely this time. He's different."
He spoke, sounding lovesick
And this time his sister nods, smiling. Not the usual worried look or disappointment. This Ghost in her eyes seems like a genuinely good fellow for Soap. And that's all she could ask for
"I like him. I'm proud"
She ruffles Soaps mohawk before going into the kitchen to help out
And Soap smiles to himself, happy that his family has accepted Ghost and that Ghost accepted them. Staring at the little wrapped gift box under the tree, knowing he is more than happy to get onto one knee today. To push things to the next level. Just like he agreed with Ghost months ago. He is ready. This is what love is like.
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Just finished watching Nosferatu (2024), and one of the really interesting things about it is how it layers like multiple aspects of vampire 'history', from the original 1922 film to Bram Stoker's Dracula, and, it seems, to even early vampire myths. And the thing about the Dracula similarities, and this is odd to type out, but it's almost like they pared down some of the action-adventure elements from Dracula in favor of more horror elements, which is typically the opposite in book-to-movie adaptations. Gone is cowboy Quincey and the hyper-competent Van Helsing, replaced instead with an occult obsessed (yet still empathetic to the female lead's plight) Willem Dafoe (what do you mean that's not the character's name?!). No horse chases after Dracula's carriage in the Carpathian mountains either, which is good because that would have felt very out of place in this movie. Just very interesting to look and go "Oh yeah, huh, the book was the one with more action than the movie."
It also extends a lot more empathy towards it's female lead, Ellen, than I feel Dracula was to both Lucy and Mina, though since it's been a while since I read it, I may be wrong on those accounts. The most striking difference is the death of the vampire, and how in the book, Mina is on the brink of being turned and it is the combat efforts of the men that lay low the vampire, while in Nosferatu (2024), it is Ellen that kills Orlock, albeit at the cost of her own life, utilizing the connection that awoke him in the first place, and turning his own lust against him, keeping him away from his grave-earth until the sun comes up. And it's a little bit of a tricky read on the themes here for me, since she does unfortunately sacrifice herself to kill him and it was this supernatural 'thing' shes had since birth that woke him in the first place, this could read as a typical (of the time of Dracula and the 1922 Nosferatu) sort of 'complaint against woman sensuality and irresponsibility' of the time, but Ellen within the movie is consistently portrayed as a victim of Orlock's rather than his enticer, as he and others claim. She too confesses her own impurity and has that claim refuted by her husband (who is less interesting that Dracula's Johnathan), who himself has also been rendered 'impure' by Orlock's sexual assault of him. And her strengths are recognized by Dafoe, who on first meeting her rejects some of the methods used by not-Seward, like binding the limbs while sleeping and the heavy use of ether, which would have been rather common methods of the time (Europe in 1838) for subduing disorderly women, and it is he who does believe and validate her claims of a darker power at work, rather than mere melancholy or hysteria as others initially thought. And he recognizes that the men in the story are not, physically or supernaturally, capable of killing Orlock and that it must be Ellen and her unique connection who does it, but it is as a sacrifice, and that is where the tricky part lies. Because while it does have Ellen finally switching from prey to predator, from victim to victor, it is at the cost of her own life, and I don't like the idea of her mistake as a youth (which resulted in Orlock's pursuit of her) only being rectifiable through her death. But then on the other hand, this is a horror story, and frankly there is no way it could have had a 'better' ending.
As a side note, and this complaint really isn't with the movie itself, because it is a good movie. And that's all it needs to be. But it almost like... didn't need to come out in the modern day, if that makes sense? Like, to have trailers and a Christmas Day release date and a coffin shaped popcorn bucket and 1 million cast interviews, all that shit is unnecessary and doesn't really suit the movie that it is, though I can hardly blame the director and the other artists involved with it for that.
Also, I love this dumb fucking headline about the movie: me when I'm a fucking idiot who doesn't get it. Real "point and laugh mockingly" at it hours. fucking lol
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More MDZS and Hollow Knight! The cool bugs I found in my backyard have started to unionize.
Part 1 - Part 3
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#hollow knight#mdzs au#mdzs hollow knight au#Once again not tagging all the characters due to sheer volume#Thanks for the warm and lovely reception on the first part of this crossover!#even people who haven't heard of hollow knight were very sweet and excited.#I redrew and redesigned some of the characters that people were asking to see#and while I still think I could play around with them a little more I'm pretty happy with the results B*)#JGY getting kicked down the stairs is part of his personality at this point. Of course I had to introduce him as such#Im pretty sure its not JZX who kicks him the first time but birthday boy on birthday boy violence is too funny to pass up#Madam yu being mosskin-like but distinctly not from the same clan was pretty important to me when designing her. But I was at such a loss!#By *chance* I saw The Hunter's design and thought 'YEAH THATS THE ONE'. Let milfs be terrifying.#Little apple originally was gonna be 'the girl who's backyard this all takes place in' but ....little bug steed....#In case you are wondering whether the Lan juniors are suspicious of the fact LSZ has twice as many legs: No. He's 'just like that' to them.#Part three will be in less than a week! Time to see the other side of the crossover!#I am so happy that I can draw silly crossovers and have people cheering me on! Yippee!
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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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ok i got to the end (like 2-3 hours ago)! my initial impressions (lowkey highkey just a review at this point) are is that I liked it and I’d definitely watch it again. I can definitely see potential for being a yearly hanukkah rewatch.
it’s not for the faint at heart by any stretch of the imagination (lots of sex, nudity, gore, and reprehensible people being reprehensible to each other); it’s still very clearly a send up to exploitation cinema, even if it is trying to be a little loftier with its themes. but if you’re a fan of schlocky, grimy, low-budget, indie splatter/grindhouse slashers, it’s definitely worth a watch.
it wears its 80s horror influences on its sleeve, and pays some pretty direct homage (most notably to my eye, to john carpenter’s halloween; there’s one shot in particular that was so deliberately referential to Michael Myers stalking the streets of Haddonfield, I wouldn’t be surprised if they shot it in the same location; there’s also a rabbi who shows up in the last half of the film who plays a very Loomis-like role) almost to the point of pastiche. at the same time, it borrows widely enough & inserts enough of its own unique spin to avoid feeling at all derivative.
the plot & characters were fun, and made great use of the premise. some of the cinematography was actually impressive. the soundtrack could’ve used more klezmer-infused metal, but that’s a stylistic preference lol.
a lot of the dialog, acting & delivery wasn’t great, and there was sometimes just a little too much time to breathe between lines that made it feel a little stilted, especially in the first half. it starts way slower than it had to, but it does eventually find its rhythm.
nearly everyone in the movie (aside from a small handful of characters) is it’s always sunny in philadelphia levels of terrible, but further down the drama end of the spectrum than comedy. nevertheless, there are moments that are played for comedy.
one of the concerns i had going in was how it would handle its portrayal of jews & judaism, especially given how unkind to jews & jewish culture horror can be, and the fact that the writer is not himself jewish. it was something where I was prepared to just enjoy laughing about it anyways, with how inherently campy the concept of a “hanukiller” is. but no it was actually pretty good. not perfect, but good.
there’s a refreshing specificity to the characters I enjoyed. jews are allowed to be a world unto ourselves, and the fact that the movie revolves around such terrible people at no point feels like saying “jews are like x”. judaism and the role of a rabbi are affirmed as loving & life-giving, and the hanukiller is fully framed as an exceptional extremist, not representative of any real form of judaism, & not just in a buffalo bill “oh btw he’s not actually trans” throwaway line way.
for every jewish symbol & ritual object that the hanukiller twists, the legitimate version is shown repeatedly in a peaceful, loving context. plenty of dreidels, kippahs, magen davids, and kosher menorahs to go around (out of dozens of menorahs, there is one electric temple menorah with the lights at three different heights in the shul, which is weird bc it looks like it was filmed in an actual synagogue & I’m pretty sure that’s not a kosher temple menorah). I totally understand if seeing stuff like a bone menorah (the true horror is the candles not being at their proper heights) or the star of david carved into people’s chests or scrawled in entrails at all is a “nope”, but it is explicitly framed as an extremely heretical perversion of judaism, and called out as such—“this is not judaism”—and the star of david is shown in proper contexts.
the film definitely could have shown at least one other jew in a shtreimel to keep from associating the hasidic style of dress with violence. i could easily see the juxtaposition of the visibly ultra-frum hanukiller’s violence against less/non observant jews in less/invisibly jewish dress sending the wrong message. however, the aforementioned loomis-like character does still dress in plain orthodox style & is presented as a foil to the killer, being from the same synagogue, and there’s enough counterbalance to the potential “tradition = scary & violent” takeaway elsewhere in the narrative that it feels like the script is still pushing back against that conclusion.
perhaps surprising for the inherent irreverence of making a jewish slasher revolving around a jewish holy day at all, there’s a clear love & respect for jews & jewish culture here. though not himself jewish, the writer’s familiarity & adjacency shines through & manages to dodge flattening Jews down to either antisemitic or philosemitic caricature.
all-in-all, it’s a good bit of the ‘ol ultraviolence: hanukkah edition. if you’re just looking for schlocky, gory fun for hanukkah, it’s the kind of movie that you can just turn your brain off and enjoy that way. but the themes are there and deep enough to still have something interesting to say. there need to be more of both jewish horror AND hanukkah movies, and this is not a bad entry to add to either of those lists.
watching Hanukkah (2019)—the Hanukkah horror/slasher movie—here we go lol
#there is also a scene where the hanukiller & a lapsed rabbinic student are going back listing mitzvah by number that seemed odd#I know it’s tradition that there are 613 of them & a few rabbis have tried to list them all out#but I’ve never seen anyone cite mitzvahs as like ‘mitzvah 47’ ‘mitvah 136’ etc#idk if that’s my ignorance or theirs lol#hanukkah 2019#horror#2010s horror#jumblr#jewish horror#hanukkah
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Saiouma Puella Magi AU, but Kokichi takes Madoka's role and Shuichi takes Homura's.
For one, Kokichi's too naturally distrustful to just hear "I can grant you any wish :)" and not think ok where's the hook. So he just does what no one ever has & essentially interrogates Kyubey, so he knows it all even before he gets to make a contract. So, some of his classmstes are MGs & he won't become one himself BUT he still ends up tagging along to just protect them in his Kokichi ways. (Though I'm entertaining Kokichi lying about being a magical girl, because, well, it's Kokichi).
(I also got a small idea of Gonta being a magical girls and Kokichi originally tagging along him into labyrinths, Gonta also makes him a magic gun from the toy one he had, and at some point witches out & Kokichi manages to kill him with that gun. So he always has that spare Grief Seed on himself, bc it's still his best friend & he can't handle the idea of just giving it away or using it himself (he does anyway in the end).)
Shuichi prolly ends up being a new kid & it isn't like MadoHomu, the ppl who reach him first are Kaede & Kaito, classic. Kokichi's there, too, but he's his usual sus self. He's actually discouraging ppl from making a contract when they find out magic and miracles are real, which absolutely includes Shuichi. He's very vocal abt it, but he won't explain stutf, bc 1) he's a liar, so who'd believe him? and 2) he doesn't want them to witch out upon finding out the truth or, idk, murder everybody Mami-style.
Anyway, fast forward, bad things happen bingo & by the end of the run most charas are dead, there's Walpurgis nachting, and he makes his wish to bring back the ppl who died notably not as magical girls. Contract signed, he fights & fails, rip. I also thought it was similar to how he thought he could end the killing game by himself - he though he could finish Walpurgisnacht by himself, too. And he failed in both times. Whatevs.
Shuichi doesn't actually make his time travel wish for Ouma specifically, he wants to save all his friends. Timelines are messy esp at first bc he either tells then or it backfires or just makes himself look very sus bc he's trying not to tell them. He also realizes why Kokichi hadn't told anybody aby witches at some point, bc, yeah, it messes them a lot, assuming they believe it.
Still, Kokichi ends up one of the few people who are nearly always giving him a chance, not necessarily out of belief, but out of pragmatism - bro can stop time & knows the truth, that's just too useful. So they often work together & Shuichi grows closer to him but still we ain't there yet. But the thing is, Shuichi's time travel still makes Kokichi more & more powerful with each timeline, bc Shuichi usually goes back after Kokichi dies, so the universe figured out this guy's life's important. Anyway, another notable thing is the iconic Homura kills Madoka scene, but it's Saiouma with guest stars of Kaito & Maki. It's Walpy, it's not defeated yet, but the training trio are spent & just kinda accept their fate of turning into witches together. And then, boom, Kokichi appears & steals their Soul Gems for a sec & he's like did u know you can cleanse your Soul Gem with a darkened one? But it's a lie & he quickly tells them so, he just had a spare Grief Seed after cleansing his Soul Gem & he needs them to do some stuff. Shuichi can travel back in time & fix things, and Maki & Kaito are needed to fight Walpy here. He actually questions what happens to the timelines Shuichi leaves behin, and ofc he doesn't know. There's a chance they remain, so Kokichi needs Maki & Kaito to fight Walpy here.
Kaimaki leave, and Shuichi finally looks at Kokichi & realizes sth is Wrong. Kokichi struggles to hide how he's trembling & grimacing, and it's Kokichi, so obviously it must be extremely bad. Shuichi dreadfully realizes something worse, and he weakly asks Kokichi why aren't his wounds healing. And Kokichi just falls, laughing weakly, and Shuichi catches him & searches for his Soul Gem and, God, he knew it. It's nearly completely black. Kokichi laughs & admits he lied abt having two Grief Seeds, he only had one he never wanted to use. But they'll have the second one soon, so no need to worry. He asks Shuichi to maybe destroy his witch form as it's hatching, so he'll have the Grief Seed without any fighting… and he admits that he hates fighting, he hates this magical world and all its violence. He says that Kaito was right in calling him a coward, even here he just can't handle the idea of fighting any longer, he's so sorry. And Shuichi tells him he ISN'T a coward. He was scared, but he always followed everybody, trying to help, and when push came to shove he would always make a contract for the benefit of others rather than himself. He's a lot of things, but a coward isn't one. Kokichi actually tears up hearing that, and Shuichi promises he won't let him fight ever again, and especially he won't let him turn into a witch and hurt anybody, because he knows it's the last thing he's ever wanted. Even now he only accepts turning into a witch to help them fight to keep others safe. So Shuichi won't let him. Kokichi probably apologizes and thanks him and then he dies.
Keeping Kokichi from fighting starts off as a side quest that gains importance with time, bc it's something Shuichi won't compromise on (ah, trauma), which leads him to occassionally neglect others a bit, which makes them more likely to get hurt & ironically Kokichi more likely to make a contract, especially since he gets more powerful & Kyubey is more interested in him with each timeline. And that also makes him witch out super quick. Shuichi's paying more attention to him & over time grows resentful of others for how they're treating him. To Shuichi it's no question that Kokichi cares & is just doing his best to help, but nobody realizes that.
But the biggest obstacle in keeping Kokichi from fighting is actually Kokichi himself, bc he's too smart and nosy, lmao. Even if he knows nothing, he will find out quickly. Doesn't help that Kyubey wants him to make a contract.
Also, obviously Kaito is Sayaka-coded and Maki could be Kyouko-coded, so that's a thing, BUT it's usually Maki that witches out. Kaito is usually pretty close, but Kokichi intervenes & he survives, but Maki later cracks on her own (and since in the new timeline Kokichi isn't there, Kaito's the one to die, so he's still the secretary). So it's Kaito who gets the dramatic sacrifice. I imagine he genuinely hoped you could bring somebody back if you tried Very Hard & Kokichi called him a moron bc obviously it's not possible. If it was there'd be far less witches that there are. But it's Kaito, he doesn't listen to reason. So, Kokichi follows him to the labyrinth. At first Kaito's mad cuz what if Kokichi being there ruins the plan? Maki hates his guts! But eventually he gets hit pretty hard, and Kokichi is near immediately by his side, trying to help him get up, which kinda makes Kaito short circuit a little bc wait Kokichi's trying to help? But witch!Maki attacks them & Kokichi pushes Kaito away & gets caught himself (and choked until unconsciousness, naturally). Anyway, Kaito gets him away, Shuichi catches Kokichi & Kaito makes up his mind about going down with Maki & asks Shuichi to tell Kokichi that he's sorry. He doesn't get him, but he got hurt trying to protect him, so he'll believe in that if nothing else. F.
As for The WishTM, in the last timeline Shuichi lashes out at Kokichi for his willingness to just become part of the system. In no timeline has his wish actually helped, it did NOTHINHG, which OUCH but it also makes Kokichi think out of the box more & he becomes the Law of Cycles. And Shuichi realizes what is happening & freaks out bc Kokichi's doing it bc of what he told him & like Homura they end up having a momentTM in space & Shuichi remembers. He feels a lot of guilt even tho he also questions whether anything was real, but if it was, he pushed somebody he far too realized he loved into erasing himself from existence.
#hope it's not too long but i'll make it a read more if somebody thinks it is#i spammed discord i spammed bsky it's only fair i post it on tumblr too#kokichi ouma#shuichi saihara#saiouma#danganronpa#like obviously normally you'd go for something like Kokichi as Homura and Shuichi as Madoka and I'm just not that sure of it myself#like the vibes match at the first glance but the more I think about it the less it actually works for the characters in question#one of Kokichi's most defining chracteristics is that he cares a lot about everybody and frankly more than probably any other V3 character#but in a very... general sense if you get me. characters like Kaito and even Shuichi pick some people they like to care for and everybody#else is like whatever - sucked but now it's done like after Korekiyo's execution he says nothing abt him while both Makoto & Hajime offer#Celeste and Mikan some more thoughts and compassion; anyway obviously Kokichi doesn't care about say Kaede more than Shuichi but he still#gives all their lives the same amount of respect just for the sake of it; that's what makes chapter 4 so horrifying from his perspective#and also why in chapter 5 he isn't willing to do the same anymore and instead chooses to die himself so Maki of all people can survive and#so Kaito can go in a blaze of glory. and these two are arguably the two characters who treated him the worst (not that anybody treated him#well save for maybe Gonta and Kiibou). so i can't imagine Kokichi in Homura's role - reaching the point where he cares about only one perso#surviving while everybody else can die in a ditch bc the one time he picked his life over anybody else's he had a wholeass breakdown & then#killed himself several days later even though logically it would've made more sense to either kill Kaito who's dying anyway or throw Maki#under the bus since she was the one to fuck things up in the first place and proved herself to be a danger to the group.#Shuichi meanwhile he absolutely could given his lack of regard for some of the dead (Rantaro Ryouma idk abt Angie but I remember little#Korekiyo Miu and finally Kokichi himself) so he could snap at some point#anyway time to shut up it's getting long in these tags
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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okay so as a gen 5 stan who does adore the story in bw and bw2, and now that gen 5 has experienced both a vicious hatedom that wouldnt hear a single positive thing about the games, and now a super protective fandom that insists they were perfect and had zero flaws... can we admit now that the bw1 story at least was. a little mid.
#just a little. just a little.#i am saying this as someone who adores it and loves the characters a lot#...... but good god team plasma kinda sucks ass as an evil organization#bw2 is sorta better about them with the split factions but in the first game theyre so obnoxious and come across as strawmen#the game talks about how the world is nuanced and not black and white and its not good to take extreme sides#but then. it sorta does that with the protagonists? by refusing to talk about abused pokemon that werent hurt by team plasma?#obviously they are wrong. the game hammers it in with a mallet. but is it really nuanced if our stance is ''ha ha thats silly''#and yeah groups like plasma exist irl but like. as someone who cares abt animal rights and stuff a lot. i feel like they fumbled it here#the answer shouldnt have been ''well ig some pokemon get hurt. we wont talk about them though. watch the grunt kick a munna''#it shouldve been about animal welfare. like maybe instead of becoming assistant professor; bianca couldve become a nurse joy#or she couldve joined some organization that rescues and rehabilitates pokemon from abusive trainers. maybe the reformed plasma from bw2#and before someone goes ''erm its a kids game they cant do that :/ thats too complicated'' first of all- the anime showed a malnourished te#tepig#kids can handle a bit of text next to a skittish lillipup thats like ''its scared of humans'' or something and its being cared for by someo#someone''#plus the side games were tackling much heavier shit at this point#also again they were apparently fine with a grunt kicking a munna and bragging about how he loves doing that so.#like even as a kid i felt like that scene was really over the top and stupid#team plasma feels less like an attempt to do commentary on harmful animal rights ideas that lead to ecofascism and dont care abt the animal#true needs#and more like gamefreak read a lot of obnoxious critical pokemon posts like ''lmao training is like dogfighting'' and ''this promotes anima#abuse!'' and just made a strawman out of those people. and like i agree thats all stupid but it sorta hurts the message of the game#that the world is very nuanced and taking extremes is bad and reductive.#and this isnt getting into poor story and gameplay integration and other stuff like underutilized characters (you know exactly who i mean)#idk. again i still adore the story and have a huge soft spot for it. but i think the only reason people say its perfect is out of defensive#defensiveness and not having engaged with a ton of video game stories. and pokemon stories not being fantastic in general#like i think pla is better put together story wise than this game and its got less going on than this#echoed voice
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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr 2.2#hsr spoilers#hsr leaks#the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am#i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before#but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y’all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one#so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days#it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me#but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and#gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it#and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story#not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know#but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game#anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream#pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we#i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see-#-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!)#i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!?#they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing#Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it#and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet#also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good#Seven.txt#viddy game stuff
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sonic and snufkin actually kind of feel like very similar characters to me. holding hands over “my personal sense of freedom and dedication to making decisions based on what I think is right is what matters most, and if you’ve built some idealized version of me in your head then that’s none of my business and it’s not my responsibility if the reality of who i am lets you down in some way”. also the deep connection to nature and all.
#N posts stuff#this is also a little why i am extremely picky about fanfic for these two#bc fic where like. snufkin finally settles down in the valley or lets moonin come along on his winter journey or whatever#they grate because it feels like you’re getting rid of a core of snufkin’s character for convenience.#‘he would not fucking do that’ style. i don’t like it.#like you do you it’s not a big deal it’s just personal opinion#the same for sonic. for him it’s less about being tied down in a literal sense and more to do with. conceptually#like sonic is a character very Unavailable emotionally and i dont think that’s something about himself he’s willing to change#i think that sonic is a very Internal person and his personal sense of freedom is such that like#he doesn’t Care what other people think about him. in sa2 he doesn’t seem to care that he’s been mistakenly labeled a villain bc that’s#none of his business. and in tbk he’s blunt about how he’ll happily become the ‘villain’ in other people’s eyes if he’s making the choice He#thinks is right. i don’t think his aversion to emotional sincerity or openness comes from some Hero Persona#i think he just doesn’t ever want to be put in a position where he has to navigate his friends emotions about his emotions#meaning like. being open about your problems opens you up to people who think they know better than you and want to force you to listen#to them ‘for your own good’ which i think sonic would resent on a lot of levels. so he’s unwilling to make himself vulnerable to that#but also even if someone isn’t Forcing you to listen you can still hurt people by ‘refusing’ to take care of yourself the way They think#is best. so their emotions become a coercive force intentionally or otherwise which sonic would also resent#and sonic doesn’t want to resent his friends. so he’s like ‘okay i just won’t put us in that position then’#i also think he doesn’t feel a need to Justify himself to anyone. so explaining his emotions or the Whys of who he is#feels like an attempt at justification that sonic would dislike and avoid on Principle even if he’s the only one seeing it that way#anyway ‘he would not fucking say that’ but it’s sonic having a genuine moment of emotional honesty#i do think that snufkin is more. Open to his own emotions though. and the expression of them#Comet ‘weeping over the sea’ moment my beloved. sonic Wouldn’t do that i think#i do think he closes himself off to his own emotions he doesn’t want to be tied down by Those either#which is why i also think that sonic as a character is informed by repressed/dissociative amnesia#like i Am projecting a little but i also think it makes sense for him. ‘who i used to be is none of my business i only care about#who i am Right Now’ which is another reason why he doesn’t like talking about his honest emotions#bc if he talks about them then He can’t forget them properly bc that moment is now in someone else’s head for them to remember and remind#him of. and he doesn’t want to do that so it’s for the best if he never admits to anything so he’s free to ignore and forget what he wants#In My Opinion. these tags got long i wonder if tumblr is going to delete a bunch lol
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(falls to the floor holding my head in my hands) i can't keep making all my ocs the same vaguely eastern european vaguely indo carribean mixed race guy i cant keep doing this
(looks up. eyes glowing red. levitating with unknown power) or can i..................................................
#sorry to be mixed on main again but im working on some rough draft ocs. i saw myself making the same dude again. i keep making him.#i know as a kid with a combination of the classic mixed kid feelings of alienation as well as being really really into cartoons#i vowed to myself that I SHALL make all the mixed race cartoon characters since i wasnt seeing much in the cartoons i loved#it was a little dire in like 2008 when i vowed this. its less dire now#maybe i can rest.....or maybe not...maybe its still more dire than i think............#im in an interesting place rn living in a somewhat diverse area attending a pretty multicultural university so i got used to#kind of blending into the crowd but recently i was in an art history class. like one of the first i had been in person in years#(you know how it is) and outside of my vaguely ambiguous situation there was like one other non white person#and everyone else was white. and it became very apparent how white the class was very quickly because as art history students#race is kinda like. a big thing in visual culture studies HJKFKJLSDJD and like they meant well but it was getting a little dire because#so many of my white peers kept centering whiteness and white discomfort in like every discussion or brushing past the topic entirely#im biased because race is one of my main interests in art history but MAN i was like. oh god. i need to. intervene#gotta be more annoying about being mixed race in class. rolls up sleeves#gotta bring up every uncomfortable topic about representation and perception and power and dehumanization and intersectionality that i can#because no one else but me the other student of colour and the professors even think about it orz#sorry i know its obvious but sometimes it doesnt quite hit me that like. oh god. do white people really not think about any of this?#at all? unless its brought up? not even a little bit? i dunno its just kinda alien to me orz but i shall keep going#i shall continue on with my deep interest in orientalism within art history and its impacts we see daily#and also making the same guy in my funny little cartoons DJSKHJKSJFKD#(jkjkjk i dont JUST make that same vaguely beige guy. i also make a bunch of other guys. who are also mostly all multiracial too HGKJDHJFR)#(its what i do. its what i do)
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Arc.ana app I am begging you on my hands and knees, if you are going to force me to see art of Jul.ian and As.ra almost kissing in a pop-up promo ad when I open the game, can you please at least grant me the option of muting the pop-ups for 24 hours so I don't have to take psychic damage and cover my screen while I exit out of the promos every time I log in
#ellie rambles#I GET IT they LIKE EACH OTHER and in another timeline/canon they're DATING#it's a notable detail that impacts the overarching canon of the whole story I GET IT#CAN YOU PLEASE STOP REMINDING ME THAT THERE'S A CANON WHERE JULIAN IS KISSING SOMEONE WHO'S NOT ME#is this such an unreasonable request? esp in a visual novel/dating sim where many people get attached to the characters they pursue?#I'm sure plenty of people are far more rational/less prone to jealousy than me and do not care in the slightest but like.#don't u think it might sting a little to see the character someone is pursuing. and might genuinely have a crush on/be attached to.#being flirty/affectionate/romantic with another canon character? that they already have a history with?#in art and content *produced by the creators of the characters and source material*?#'yeah but a lot of those scenes are/could be flashbacks from before the events of the game' cool!! still hurts the same to see it!!#doesn't make it more pleasant to see my f/o being romantic with someone else even if it was in the past!
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