#and ended up not really even talking about their narratives or anything
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from @cyber-harpie !! spit that shit homie!! I thought this deserved to be seen because it brings up a lot interesting points—and I do agree with this, though it got me thinking again. I would like to add a few things to my initial statement because analysis and talking about Kim is fun;
(WARNING: MAJOR KIM-RELATED YAPPAGE BELOW)
I’ve watched several play throughs where (especially at the beginning of the game/if they have low psyche) people aren’t sure of Kim, or even go so far as to call him annoying, a buzzkill, or an asshole. At first I found myself getting really defensive about this. Obviously not to the point that I made any hate comments or anything, that would be silly— But just in my head, automatically dismissing it because I love him and didn’t want to hear it. I couldn’t imagine anyone disliking him, instead of thinking deeper and considering *why* people might come to these conclusions.
I believe the bits we get from Esprit and Empathy support my initial point that Harry is the perfect narrative device to meet Kim through. If I remember correctly, Kim was written specifically to find Harry funny, and Harry’s skills let us see that. and that’s IF you succeed the checks, or if you’re dedicated enough to save scum to see other possibilities/go through Fayde to see what other options might have held.
Like, before I learned about the end of the Homosexual Underground thought line, I certainly had my suspicions. I definitely thought Kim was at least queer-coded and headcanoned him as gay, but that thought trail is behind a legendary Composure check that I spent like 10 full minutes save-scumming. I had low motorics on my first run, and I only tried so hard because I had been spoiled and knew that it gave a thought called “Homosexual Underground” and needed to see where that led with my own eyes.
That’s just one example too—There’s several times that Kim Lore is behind hard checks (Ace’s High/Low, that tidbit about him smoking weed lol) or things he just refuses to elaborate on without specific circumstances. Plus there’s all the stuff that you can learn when you play a different quest line. I’ve had several people tell me that going through a fascist ends up with Kim actually being pretty open about things you don’t learn about in other questlines. I don’t even know all the details of that yet because I’ve been so busy doing the other quests and achievements that I haven’t finished a fascist run yet.
My thought process with all this is that without seeing Kim through the lens Harry, who works with him almost constantly for a week straight in a situation where deep and meaningful conversation is not just encouraged but *needed* to build a repertoire and ultimately solve the case—Not to mention the patience and care Kim treats Harry’s situation with—I can see how someone would look at Kim from the outside and find him to be… (anguish at typing out this word) …mid.
So yeah. On the surface level; Kim is a cop. He can be condescending and uptight, sometimes leading into lecturing people (something he himself admits). He plays his cards close to his chest, with both his moralist beliefs and even more so his sympathies for the rebellion—Which can make him look a bit like a fence sitter. He can be emotionally unavailable towards himself and others, making him hard to read and sometimes appear cold.
But past that, he is a beautifully crafted, deep character, and the perfect foil to the chaos that is Harry. He is the man that reaches out to shake your hand even though you ghosted him two days prior. He will pat you and give you a handkerchief when you throw up. He can be the man that sticks up for you time and time again, not just because he needs to in order to solve the case, but because if you really try, he believes you’re a good detective at heart. Past suicidal rants and nervous breakdowns, he encourages you to keep going.
He has been beaten down, ground and polished to a smooth finish by mutiple facets of oppression—from his glasses, to his race, his sexuality, all fundamental parts of himself that he cannot change. From years of working in a high-pressure, volatile work environment with low pay and little benefits other than the small satisfaction of completing a case, only to dive headfirst into the next one.
He pushed aside his lofty dreams of the skies to be down with the rest of us in the dirt and mud, trudging, struggling through life until we all inevitably burn away the fuel reserves and are nothing but smoke, a memory in the mind of fire.
Beyond that carefully constructed exterior, past his wall of professionalism (and habit of using his notebook as a shield) hides a goofy nerd, a lover of crosswords and cars, of silly radio stations, and a deep appreciation for beautifully bearded muscular men. He is an expert user of sarcasm and master of cryptic jokes, some even philosophical or political in nature. At his core, he wants to make things better for the people around him. He wants to believe he can make a difference, no matter how long it takes or how small the change is. Even if working for the RCM destroys him before he can see it come to fruition.
He is wonderful. He is amazing. He’s probably my favorite character all of fiction, and I don’t think there will ever be a day in my life that I stop loving him. That’s pookie you’re talking about. I’ll always have space in my heart for him.
He will live on as long as we do, as real as The Man From Hjemdall is to Roy because Disco Elysium *made* him real, handcrafting him, giving him life between margins and pixels. And that is worth everything.
Kim Kitsuragi is a fascinating character because there's not that much fun or interesting or compelling about him. And yet somehow over the course of playing Disco Elysium the game rewires your fucking brain around him. He's the middest man you've ever seen in both appearance and personality but at some point he says something kind to you or something critical of you and you feel like you just got hit by a truck and you need his approval like you need oxygen and like how tf did this happen. what are you
#I did not expect to be writing that long#Um#enjoy if you like yapping about kim ig#LMAO#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#text post
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I think Kant would have gotten far less criticism or hatred if KantBison were not being shoved into our throat. Like, clearly the showmakers want us to root for KB, everyone from Style to Cop Chris saying how Kant has fallen for Bison yada yada but at the same time Kant casually talks about Bison, the supposed love of his life, getting shot dead or spending his entire life in prison....without any sign of pain in his voice or face...like he's talking about mildly uncomfy weather.
This is clearly a narrative problem but it does make viewers frustrated and Kant's character has to bear the brunt of this narrative folly. I am very sure if the narrative made it clear from the start that KB are not, under any condition ending up together, the situation would have been different....but of course gmmtv has to sell their cp (by which I mean cp merch and stuff). The showmakers already have a pair (FadelStyle) that are hitting all the right spots for how a romantic pair should be and they can be easily shown to be having a happily ever after. Ideally they should have kept KantBison 'lovers to enemies' actually ending up as enemies...but well....cp 😒
i'll start this by saying this is the one and only ask with hate for kant/kantbison that i will answer because from your oh so many words, i can already tell you fit into the exact category of people who already made up your mind about the character and nothing i say will change your perception. but bc i'm not feeling like being the bigger person, sure, you wanna talk about this, let's talk about this.
first of all, i wanna talk about your apparent hatred for cps (or maybe it's just fk, we never know) and gmmtv's system, and you know, that's so funny because that's, and i know it'll shock you, their thing😯. so maybe if you didn't want to see that, you shouldn't have started watching the show, even after knowing that the two couples would end up together in the end because guess what, this was advertised as a romcom. and we what do we get with romcoms? exactly, happy endings. a travesty.
i find it so funny when people say fadelstyle are hitting all the spots for a romantic pairing, because that's what's supposed to be (again, a romcom), they are the more traditional romantic storyline (or as traditional as you can get with a killer and a guy who only started hitting on him and continued to do so because he wanted a car) so they are supposed to be hitting those spots. it's their storyline.
see, kantbison hooked up that very first night they met, clear attraction, kant was besotted by his one night stand and was calling him a ghost because bison up and ran before they could wake up together. their first interaction together and it had nothing to do with the police, or lying or manipulating, so maybe it's not a narrative problem that kantbison are "being shoved down our throats" maybe it's just a you problem if you didn't notice what they were being set up to.
and many people have talked about this already, and if you cared to read either liz's or lauren's meta about kant, you wouldn't have come to my inbox complaining about kant not being expressive when he clearly can't let himself feel the things he wants because his priority will always be his brother (just like fadel will prioritize bison always) in contrast to style who doesn't have to carry the responsibility of raising and caring for a younger brother on his shoulders.
and darling, if you started this show thinking at any point, from the trailers, pilot or official, promotional photos, osts, novel, press, anything, that kantbison would not be a thing, again, it's not on them, it's on you and your poor observation skills. there are plenty of people way more qualified than me to talk about this and how kant actually cares for bison, and how he's torn between his heart and his brain, but you don't really care, so why bother.
#bibs ask#Anonymous#th: the heart killers#the heart killers#the heart killers discourse#truly the only piece of negativity i'll respond to whoever you are pls don't bother sending more asks i'll delete them#block me if you already haven't too so we can spare ourselves from each other's company#i really don't care#and btw i have problems with fadelstyle's storyline and did you see me bothering people about it? that's right no#because i have sense not to go to people's blogs whine about it
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Hi Rosie! You know what I've realized now that Chapter 2 is coming to an end? How fucking obsessed certain people are with Jikook, as individuals and most especially, as a duo.
I've seen the same groups of people, same accounts, tkkrs and jm/jk solos alike; it almost seems like they come from the same breed. I know we have a lot of hidden tkkrs all over, but man, can't keep Jikook out of their mouths.
I mean, if I was not interested in someone or something, you couldn't force me to talk about it or even watch or read related content. Why the hell would I waste my time??
But for some reason, these people kept yapping about Jikook and how they weren't close, spreading harmful rumours, etc, and for what? These two have served together. It doesn't change reality. I wonder if they'll realize that we know they're just trying to convince themselves and would rather continue living in delusion and lies.
24/7 365 days/yr. Their accounts are full of Jimin, Jimin, Jimin, Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook, and Jikook instead of their supposed stans or duos. I guess they don't have anything going on in real life. Imagine being this obsessed and affected by people who don't even know who they are and pathetically think they can alter reality, or even Jikook's bond in real life.
PS I do believe that the majority of tkkrs who "ship" them all rely on lies and manipulations, but even more so on tkk fanfiction, which they let bleed into real life, and now they can't distinguish it. I feel so icky and creeped out when I saw humanlouvre's, or wtv, drawings. Tkkrs/jjk solos and even jm solos are hardcore y/ns.
The vecinas and solos are like the K-poppies of the fandom. You know how K-poppies are obsessed with BTS? They can’t go five minutes without mentioning them, trying to discredit their achievements, downplaying their talent, and acting like the power BTS holds is just a fluke? They desperately wish their faves could be everything BTS is, yet deep down they know it’s impossible. It eats them alive that BTS is not just the best group the industry has ever seen but also one of the greatest musical acts in the world, full stop. They’ve got this weird, imaginary competition in their heads where it’s always BTS vs their faves, even though BTS is in a completely different league. K-poppies just can’t stand it—they’re living in constant frustration, knowing their faves will never measure up.
Well, that’s exactly how Tkkrs and solo stans act when it comes to Jimin and Jungkook. They’re obsessed in the same way—constantly trying to undermine their bond, their individual achievements, and the unique connection they share. It’s like they can’t handle the fact that Jimin and Jungkook are not only thriving but doing so unapologetically and on their own terms. They twist narratives, push ridiculous agendas, and project their insecurities onto them, desperately trying to create drama where there’s none. Just like K-poppies, they’ve built this imaginary rivalry—sometimes between Jimin and Jungkook themselves, or with other members. And for what? Because they can’t accept the reality that Jimin and Jungkook are just… happy together? Smashing records every day?
Honestly, it’s exhausting to see the same pattern repeat itself. Instead of respecting Jimin and Jungkook’s choices and achievements, they’d rather tear them down and live in denial. But, at the end of the day, just like BTS, Jimin and Jungkook keep winning—and that’s what really drives them mad.
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So I actually only just found out that OnK ended and I think I only read up to where S1 of the anime finished, so imagine my horror when I learned that not only did AquaRu happen (technically? I know there was a kiss, at least), but that Aqua dies after coming up with what's probably the stupidest plan I've ever heard of. I'm going off of this from the wiki, btw, so feel free to correct me if I'm missing anything, but I thought this story was going to be a critique on the entertainment industry mixed in with a "catch the killer" plot when I first started, yet it just looks like nobody learned anything by the end of it and the villain's defeat was underwhelming.
Good news! AquRuby did not really happen.
Bad news! AquRuby did not really happen.
Honestly, to this day, I have no idea wtf Akasaka was cooking when it came to the AquRuby stuff... my best guess is that because Oshi no Ko was influenced pretty strongly by Mengo's past works & Aka was trying to emulate some elements of it (to good effect, sometimes!) the AquRuby stuff was inserted to appeal to her and it actually playing out on page was them being like "lalala, playing with our toys" and wasn't ever something the two of them took really seriously.
By coincidence I ended up rambling about this off tumblr the other day, so I'll just grab what I said and slap it here so I'm not just repeating myself;
I'm gonna be so real, I don't think an AquRuby ending was ever something anybody on the series including Mengo ever took all that seriously as a direction the series was going to take. Despite what a lot of people will try and tell you, Ruby and her relationship with Aqua were just never really written remotely in the sort of way you would build up your endgame heroine. Prior to 123 it wasn't really something the series tabled in any meaningful way and even past 123, Ruby's apparent attraction to Aqua is largely just played as shallow brocon gag fodder. It's only when the manga talks about her love for Gorou that it takes her remotely seriously and even then that's dropped like a rock past 150 and never addressed again. The biggest red flag for me though is that the series never actually addresses the concept of incest in the context of Aqua and Ruby's relationship. It is the one big major roadblock to a hypothetical romance between them but the roadblock that is actually, textually floated by the narrative is Gorou and Sarina's past life age gap which is, as Ruby repeatedly asserts, no longer an issue. It's honestly bizarre to see a series have a whole ass subplot about a character falling in love with their blood related twin and pursuing it to the point of forcing a kiss on them and just... never ever address the concept of incest??? It ends up feeling kind of deliberate - like, Akasaka knew that the second the obstacle that is the social taboo of incest came up on-panel it would be the death knell for being able to shiptease AquRuby (and thus, get clicks and attention from hyping it up for better or worse). So we get the... whatever the hell he was cooking that happened on page.
[In response to a comment asserting that Ruby was "absolutely written as the main heroine" as refutation to the above;]
When I say that Ruby was not built up as the main/endgame heroine, I mean moreso in the sense that for over half of the manga, she and Aqua just... don't really have a relationship that is given weight and consequence in the story in comparison to their individual relationships to the other characters. Even before the story was seriously teasing the idea of a romance between them this was always a point of critique in the fandom - hell, if you go back and read comments on it from around 2022 onwards, Ruby's sidelining and the lack of meat to her and Aqua's relationship is always something people have (imo, rightfully) had issue with. And like, sure, maybe Akasaka just wanted her status as the final/true heroine to be a surprise but even if that's what he was going for, there were tons of opportunities in the first 120+ chapters of the manga to properly sow those seeds. I know this is The low hanging fruit to point at and I know we're all aware that Aka deliberately orchestrated this moment to make sure Aqua and Ruby wouldn't discover each other's past identities before he decided it wanted to happen, but it's still characterization that Aka chose to put on the page and informs Aqua's character - Akane and Ruby found a literal dead body and instead of checking in on his sister, Aqua chose to spend time with (and kiss!) Akane. It would've been extremely easy to include Ruby more prominently in moments like chapter 68 when Aqua thinks about living a normal life free of revenge, or when Gorou confronts him in 65 about his 'happy life filled with love'. Even in the anime which makes a point of emphasizing Ruby more in Aqua's 'happy memory' montage from chapter 50's material fails to do this. Or hell, maybe even have it be a point of conflict during the AquAka 'real dating' period, that he ends up prioritizing Ruby more than Akane to a degree that it causes conflict in the relationship and clearly betrays where his real feelings lie. But none of that really happens. Hell, even after 123, Aqua and Ruby still barely interact and all the newfound intensity in that relationship comes primarily from Ruby doing brocon gag bits every time they make eye contact. Even the kiss is difficult to really take seriously because it has absolutely zero impact on Aqua and Ruby both individually and as a duo. It does not affect any change in the series whatsoever to the point where I legit don't even know whether it's been retconned out of continuity or not. That just doesn't feel to me like a 'main heroine' whose feelings and relationship to the main character are being taken seriously by the author. That's why the whole "btw i was reincarnated to be ruby's attack dog them kms" resolution at the end of the series feels so jarring and would have done with or without any AquRuby ship teasing. It was the story trying to cash cheques vis-a-vis the twins' relationship it hadn't bothered to write.
#oshi no ko#oshi no posting#onk spoilers#onk asks#sorry this ended up being mostly aquruby litigation again#i just had it on the brain
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Interesting addendum to this that I wasn't expecting: in the English version of Days, whenever Roxas talks about Sora, he's always clearly framed as a person. "Who is Sora," "I don't even know a Sora," etc.
In Japanese, he initially asks about who Sora is, but then switches to asking what Sora is. And it seems to happen not too long after Xemnas describes Sora as "the connection" between him and Xion.
He proceeds to wonder to himself what Sora is, and who exactly that makes him, before going to ask Axel about it. And during that conversation with Axel, he doesn't say "I don't even know a Sora," he instead just repeats the question of "but what even is Sora?"
Which I think adds an extra nuance to the narrative that gets lost in the official translation. Roxas instinctively thinks of Sora as a person, because why wouldn't he, but none of the answers he gets about him frames him as such. So, perhaps subconsciously, he starts seeing Sora less as a person and more of a mystery, this obstacle to his and Xion's lives that he can't seem to get answers about.
And normally, you'd think Roxas wouldn't fall into this trap, right? He's always been the most adamant about defending Xion's personhood, shouting at people when she's referred to as a puppet or an "it." His whole storyline is about asserting himself in the face of nearly everyone he knows dehumanizing him and trying to take away his autonomy.
Plus, he has Sora's memories! If he remembers things that Sora's done, and things that Sora's felt, how could he not see him as a person?
But I think that's a testament to how insidious the Organization's manipulation is. Roxas and his best friend are discriminated against, they're "othered" in a way that's unfair and it makes him justifiably ticked off. But that's the thing: he knows Xion, he cares about her, and of course he knows himself. He remembers things about Sora, but he doesn't really understand him - we never see him processing the memories he has very well.
So it becomes very easy for Sora to be presented as the "other." He doesn't stand up for Sora's personhood because he hasn't seen it, and frankly, he has bigger things in his home life to care about than whether some random guy he knows random things about is being treated well. Sora, reportedly, is half the reason he has so many problems anyway, and at this point in his life he just wants someone to blame.
It doesn't matter that Sora wasn't personally responsible for anything that happened to Roxas. He doesn't know what Sora did or didn't do when it comes to him and Xion, but everyone's telling him he's responsible, he's the connection, he's the reason everything is happening to him. And so, Roxas's anger is directed at an innocent person, someone who's really not much more privileged than he is, instead of solely at his oppressors.
Honestly, the way Roxas views Sora over time deserves a post all on its own, because it's not even necessarily as straightforward as "and then he saw Sora exactly for who he is once they joined together for a while and he got over his resentment." It's more like, his resentment turned into genuine respect, and then into this weird, resigned hero-worship for a bit, before they seemed to get on equal terms towards the end of KH3.
But my point is, Roxas plays a very interesting role in this pattern of Sora being dehumanized, because he ends up contributing to it for completely different reasons than everyone else, and it's not even on purpose. DiZ and the Organization see Sora as a tool, Namine and especially Riku care more about waking him up than how he'd feel about their methods.
To Roxas, Sora is the reason he lost everything. Sora is "what it was all for," which starts as something he hates, and becomes something that gives him a certain degree of comfort.
Because Sora will be the one to figure it all out, right? He can depend on Sora, just like everybody else, because that's what Sora's here for. He's a good guy, he'll find a way to make things right again.
He ends up being correct, but man. At what cost
Anyone else find it fascinating that whenever we're shown Roxas's feelings through Sora, it's just kind of melancholic and wistful, but the reverse scenario always feels like you just walked into a psychological horror?
Seriously, the way it's presented, it's like we're meant to see Roxas as an old friend that we miss talking to, but Sora - our original "old friend" that we would have reasons to miss - is hardly even shown as a person. The contents of his memories feel less important than the effect they're having on Roxas, which is usually Extreme Distress and/or physical pain.
And it's insane to me because KH1 was so whimsical! The memories that Roxas and Xion are experiencing are literal Disney magic! But the way they're shown, with the fuzzy filters and the glitch effects, sort of removes the emotions you associate with them and makes them come across as eerie and unsettling.
Not to mention, Sora's memories rarely prompt any feelings of happiness, the way Roxas's might make Sora extra fond of the Twilight Town crew... which might say more about how KH1 affected Sora's mental health than anything.
(I personally stand by the idea that the story revisits it so much as an analogy for how repeating events in your head over and over can alter your perception of them)
But like. how wild is it that this series found a way to take its cheerful protagonist, and without changing anything about him, turned him into this constant, unnerving presence that haunts the lives of two other characters?
And I think another reason Roxas doesn't feel like he haunts Sora in the same way is because no one really... treats Sora like a person while he's asleep. He's either a tool or an object of affection, and regardless of which you pick, his feelings are seen as secondary to the goal of waking him up. As a result, the narrative focuses entirely on Roxas and Xion's personhood, and unlike Sora, they never stop being treated like people once they're made inaccessible due to the plot.
It's probably a bit late in the story to bring it up by now, but I still wonder if we'll ever see Sora be upset with Riku for sacrificing people in his name. Sure, it worked out in the end, and I'm not sure if Sora's even aware of what happened (how likely is it that he's properly sifted through all of Roxas's memories at this point?) but there's a list of things he could still conceivably be mad at Riku about that he hasn't processed, and I want this to be one of them
#kingdom hearts#kh2#kh 358/2 days#kh sora#roxas#analysis#meta#I desperately need Sora and Roxas to have a normal conversation you guys#There is SO much baggage there and they've haven't started sorting out any of it#I wonder if that could connect to the Riku confrontation#Like maybe Sora doesn't feel like he can really talk to Roxas with the Riku situation hanging over their heads#but also he doesn't want to talk to RIKU about it because he just wants things to be back to normal with Riku and ignore everything else#Something to think about anyway
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narrative concepts in kpop are so under appreciated,, enhypen ateez txt come to mind first but there are definitely a ton more,, even concept wise they help endear me so much to the groups
enhypen especially ive come to appreciate so much more recently. ive always loved the group but when the dark blood teasers started coming out it reminded me how much i love their vampire concept and all i did for days was watch and read as much lore stuff as possible, alongside watching their regular group content which led into them joining my lineup of ults again. its definitely fine when they have slightly different concepts for music videos and stuff but i think the aesthetics were something that felt kind of missing from manifesto day 1 as fantastic as the album was
#this was kinda just a brain dump#and ended up not really even talking about their narratives or anything#but its ok its 3am and i was just thinking about how <3 much i love vampires#kpop#concept#ateez#enhypen#txt#dark moon#the star seekers#lore#kpop lore#dark blood#textpost
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it’s actually so wild to me that this fairly quirky YA type show gave both of its main characters deaths that can, in one way or another, solidly be considered hate crimes. they were both flat out murdered as a result of being A) gay and effeminate or B) brown (south asian, specifically) and you could argue whether or not those kids thought of it that way in the moment or whatever but the bottom line is that they would not have been in the situations that killed them if they weren’t of their respective minorities. like legitimately that is a ballsy choice for this kind of netflix show, let alone for the two Main Characters, and i respect it big time
#rambling#i think about this a lot#you could brush charles’ off as a hate crime by proxy since it was in response to him Stopping a hate crime#but that would be stupid. like you think what happened to him would’ve happened if he was white? doubtful#as a mixed person the way i see it is that in that moment- when he protected that pakistani kid- he went from being tolerated#by being/acting just white enough and with enough other jock traits to sort of fit in amongst them#to all at once proving to them that no- he is in fact The Other. he isn’t one of us he’s one of Them.#and as such what happened to him would’ve been a bonafide hate crime. even if they were to give an excuse like ‘he got in our way’ or ‘he#made a fool out of us’ or whatever else. even if those boys didn’t fully UNDERSTAND the racism in their own intentions/actions#it still would be. because that would not have happened to a white boy. period#anyway. genuinely fascinating choice they made with the way they presented his death- especially considering it was not#remotely similar in the comics. neither of them had the hate crime aspect going on really up til yockey’s narrative choices#so props to him. man’s got balls#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#edit: I will say that I don’t think the boys in edwin’s case technically murdered him nor would I call them murderers#because I can’t imagine a single one of them actually thought that ritual was gonna do anything more than make him piss himself#it was still hate-based bullying. like they still absolutely did what they did because he’s visibly effeminate and easily clickable#and all in all: gay. but when I say edwin was murdered I don’t really mean by those boys. I mean those boys dragged him into the situation#(kicking and screaming) that GOT him murdered by a demon. and he would not have been in that position if not for being gay.#I’ll say it again because last time I talked about this someone got real pissy in my inbox: I am not excusing the actions of the boys that#got him killed nor am I saying what they did wasn’t based in homophobia. i am just clarifying that they didn’t intend on killing anyone or#think whatsoever that someone getting killed was even a possibility (as opposed to charles’ killers who definitely had to have thought he#could be killed even if that might not have been the premeditated goal of every boy involved)#but the fact that edwin was ultimately intentionally killed by a demon counts as murder to me#someone killed him on purpose. that’s murder#the demon probably didn’t give a shit about this human teenager’s sexuality but regardless he ended up there for being gay.#so. just. a clarification
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as much as a i understand and respect ace kiryu truthers, i really feel like kiryu is the type to really take the idea to heart that sex is something vulnerable and meaningful and thus reserved for someone completely trusted and special to him– someone who feels right. after years and years he’s still never legitimately voluntarily slept with someone, always tries to turn women away or is at least apathetic when they try to get physical with him, never feels that deep and specific bond with a woman– nothing compared to some of his bonds with other men throughout his life. and maybe, hopefully, one day it’ll hit him that there’s a pretty big, glaring reason why no women have ever felt “right” to him.
#I’ve become a pretty devout gay kiryu trigger at this point#it just. makes the most narrative sense / is the most narratively interesting / explains So Much#kiryu#yakuza#kazuma kiryu#honest to god though it’s. the most realistic way of explaining why he jumps to the assumption that he must date or kiss a woman or whatever#as soon as possible with little to no room to actually fall for one#with yumi he’s literally in the classic comp het situation of ‘well someone told me I’m in love with her so I guess I’m in love with her’#no deeper thought no proof of falling for her etc#sayama’s more convincing and they start out actually building a dynamic that could end up being romantic maybe- but then they fucking jump#the gun and have kiryu randomly kiss her like something he saw in a movie instead of. you know. talking about things first. or anything.#partly because they’re in a life or death situation and are essentially pushed together via traumabonding#and that’s Extreme when it comes to the end of kiwami 2. honestly that makeout scene was just. really weird and uncomfortable. for multiple#reasons. I mean for one he says something like ‘I’m sure she (haruka)’ll understand’ in between the making out in reference to him not#even trying to get further from the bomb or anything#and just lowkey choosing to kill himself (disturbingly similarly to nishiki mind you) like uh kiryu did you forget that haruka. literally#lost her mother in an extremely similar situation. in front of her. and nearly lost you at the same time. kiryu’s personality is Not one to#just shrug off something like that- either he was purposefully choosing to kill himself because he felt like a failure and that haruka would#genuinely be better off without him Or the writing there was INSANELY out of character as to make him seem more focused on the supposed#Romeo and Juliet tragic romance situation than saving his daughter the grief of losing EVERYONE CLOSE TO HER and reliving the worst night of#her fucking Life#god if anything the ending of yk2 just screams ‘this relationship would not work out under normal circumstances and both of them are just#clinging onto whatever’s closest out of desperation and need for any kind of emotional catharsis available’#if you can compare a pairing to romeo and juliet . it’s probably not#a pairing that’s meant to be#sorry im going off on a huge tangent about how weird the ending of yk2 was to me uhhh anyway I could write a video essay on why kiryu being#gay is the most realistic and interesting interpretation of him possible . send tweet
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Great characters don't have to be good people. How many people love a good villain? Or a morally grey anti-hero? People love dynamic, interesting characters. That doesn't mean we ignore or condone their acts of evil; it just means that they're entertaining to watch.
I'm a Spike fan and a Xander hater, myself, but I don't ignore Spike's badness or Xander's goodness. It just so happens that where I fall on my opinion of the characters depends largely on their narrative treatment, rather than their actions.
Xander has a habit of talking down to and slut shaming a lot of the female characters in the show. Buffy in particular. He weaponises his jealousy in the early seasons. He's a bad boyfriend to both of his girlfriends (puts down Cordelia consistently and cheats on her, which he is never shown to have any remorse for, and constantly talks down to Anya), and is weirdly obsessed with Buffy's sex life.
He lies to Buffy about important things (remembering the SA attempt when he was possessed, Willow trying to curse Angel again, told Buffy that 'no one said anything [to him]' about Buffy and Riley's relationship imploding when Riley had actually come to Xander with concerns that Buffy didn't love him beforehand) and is never held accountable for it.
He gets away with bespelling the whole town when he tried to use magic to get back at Cordelia when she spurned him. That it was unintentional that it affected all the women in town is irrelevant; he still attempted to take Cordelia's free will away in order to humiliate her, which is kinda evil of him, ngl. Yeah the way she treated him kinda sucked at that point, but a) the narrative treats it as such, and b) he was just as bad if not worse.
But like, he bespelled the women of the town into throwing themselves at him and at the end Buffy thanks him for not taking advantage of her??? Nuh-uh, sorry, you don't get a thank you for being a decent human being after already doing something so incredibly fucked up.
What really, really gets me in season 5 though is that he scolds Buffy for letting Riley go, even though the man just cheated on her (and in a way that was really dangerous, he could have gotten turned) and attempted to gaslight her into thinking it was her fault, and then proceeded to give her an ultimatum that she had to fix the relationship or he was gone. Buffy initially saw through his BS, but Xander was the one who convinced her that Riley was in the right??? And then lied to her that no one told him anything about the relationship not going well??? To make her feel stupid or like a bad partner or something??? Riley was the only one of Buffy's love interests that Xander approved of, and that was only because he was the epitome of Xander's masculine ideal and he could project onto him.
(Actually no one but Buffy even attempted to hold Riley accountable for any of his BS in season 5 but that's a whole other rant.)
There's more reasons I hate Xander, but they're mostly in season 6, and I won't be That Guy™ and spoil it. The point is, the narrative never, ever holds Xander accountable for any of these things. He's always framed as being in the right, or if not, then the incident is just ignored entirely. He's even occasionally rewarded for his bad behaviour, like when Cordelia publicly took him back after the aforementioned bespelling of the entire town.
He never grows in any significant way. He's still essentially the same person in season 1 as in season 7. And I hate that.
Spike on the other hand goes through a ton of changes and very rarely gets away with anything bad. I want to say 'never', but I'm not 100% confident about that and may be misremembering. Point is, given how hard it is to remember if he does get away with anything, that says something about his narrative treatment. Hell, he's punished simply for being non-human by a literal torture device inserted into his brain.
He's a problematic character, to be sure. He does a lot of fucked up and morally questionable things; no one is denying that. The stalking is... yeesh. Crush is just an entire cringefest. The bot is gross. To say nothing of the 120ish years of mass murder behind him. But he's punished for all of these things. He was wrong and the narrative treats him as such, and this will continue as the show goes on. Again, I'm not going to spoil, but Spike does some really fucked up things and his character really goes through a lot punishment and changes as a result in the later seasons.
The reasons people love him are many and varied. He's a little pathetic. He's a romantic (even if it's a twisted, fucked up kind). He has sensuality and sex appeal. He's funny. He's a great character to watch because he's so different from the main cast that it's always interesting to see what he'll do.
That's all I can really say about him without talking about seasons 6 and 7. Of course, you may despise him, and that's your prerogative. There are a lot of people who hate Spike for completely valid reasons. But no one can claim that he's boring or doesn't grow and change.
ok I’m only on season 5 but can someone explain to me how Xander is the universally hated one for, from what I can tell, some bad choices and worse jokes, while Spike, the fandom’s babygirl and beloved heartthrob, literally stalks Buffy, holds her captive, and then commissions a robot version of her when it’s made clear he’ll never have her. like someone please explain it because the math is not mathing.
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is it just me who finds the kissing as part of romantic fanfics like confession scenes totally boring and anticlimatic. like it usually feels like a scapeout, cant think of what to put there so just resolve it like that. it just isnt compelling writing when it uses that as a device, it isnt narratively satisfying, lacks interesting tension and actually well thought out romance as a concept
#i mean i dont tend to care about kissing in fanfics im reading for the characters from something i like anyway but thats just cause its#generally sort of boring as a concept and im possibly weird in only liking reading about that stuff with characters i dont#know or its awkward and weird?#but thats not what im talking about here anyway i dont mean gratuitous i mean as part of the plot#like one character confesses their love and the other responds by kissing them#its so common and so boring to read and narritively unsatifying#i dont care if it makes sense or whatever thats not the point of fiction it has to be compelling to read#so when the focus and plot of the story is romance then it should have an interesting story not just plain getting together#even when it isnt id prefer it like that anyway#and i mean its not like i always hate it or think it cant have its place though it isnt my favourite regardless but so often it just makes#the story end really anticlimatically and its so annoying#and its not like kissing as a concept cant be used for proper narrative tension like for example they almost kiss but dont#and that fanfic where that happened and i liked the writing hasnt been continued since but if it was then a scene later where they do#would have actual narritive value and be satisfying to read because its actually part of the story#i dunno i suppose its also just like having compelling writing and story tension and stuff in general#but like i dont think its just me who finds the lead up of romances more compelling and then its boring when they get together?#i mean when its a romance thats the whole tension and plot so#though im also sort of weird in the way i view fictional relationships even though theyre completely seperate to everything and i dont#project or anything really and empathy isnt dependent on shared circumstances its still more compelling when theres more in common#but that isnt always the case anyway only sometimes#and in terms of fanfic the lead up is usually better written confession scenes and anything after usually not so#well i mean usually actually nothings well written at all but when anything is#though out of the ones i think are actually well written its less of a thing its more the meh ones if they manage anything its before
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hey uh so I haven't seen anyone talking about this here yet, but
the amazon river, like the biggest river in the fucking world, in the middle of the amazon fucking rainforest, is currently going through its worst drought since the records began 121 years ago
picture from Folha PE
there's a lot going on but I haven't seen much international buzz around this like there was when the forest was on fire (maybe because it's harder to shift the narrative to blame brazil exclusively as if the rest of the world didn't have fault in this) so I wanted to bring this to tumblr's attention
I don't know too many details as I live in the other side of the country and we are suffering from the exact opposite (at least three cyclones this year, honestly have stopped counting - it's unusual for us to get hit by even one - floods, landslides, we have a death toll, people are losing everything to the water), but like, I as a brazilian have literally never seen pictures of the river like this before. every single city in the amazonas state is in a state of emergency as of november 1st.
pictures by Adriano Liziero (ig: geopanoramas)
we are used to seeing images of rio negro and solimões, the two main amazon river affluents, in all their grandiose and beauty and seeing these pictures is really fucking chilling. some of our news outlets are saying the solimões has turned to a sand desert... can you imagine this watery sight turning into a desert in the span of a year?
while down south we are seeing amounts of rain and hailstorms the likes of which our infrastructure is simply not built to deal with, up north people who have built everything around the river are at a loss of what to do.
the houses there that are built to float are just on the ground, people who depend on fishing for a living have to walk kilometers to find any fish that are still alive at all, the biodiversity there is at risk, and on an economic level it's hard to grasp how people from the northern states are getting by at all - the main means of transport for ANYTHING in that region is via the river water. this will impact the region for months to come. it doesnt make a lot of sense to build a lot of roads bc it's just better to use the waterway system, everything is built around or floats on the river after all. and like, the water level is so incomprehensibly low the boats are just STUCK. people are having a hard time getting from one place to another - keep in mind the widest parts of the river are over 10 km apart!!
this shit is really serious and i am trying not to think about it because we have a different kind of problem to worry about down south but it's really terrifying when I stop to think about it. you already know the climate crisis is real and the effects are beyond preventable now (we're past global warming, get used to calling it "global boiling"). we'll be switching strategies to damage control from now on and like, this is what it's come to.
I don't like to be alarmist but it's hard not to be alarmed. I'm sorry that I can't end this post with very clear intructions on how people overseas can help, there really isn't much to do except hope the water level rises soon, maybe pray if you believe in something. in that regard we just have to keep pressing for change at a global level; local conditions only would not, COULD NOT be causing this - the amazon river is a CONTINENTAL body of water, it spans across multiple countries. so my advice is spread the word, let your representatives know that you're worried and you want change towards sustainability, degrowth and reduced carbon emissions, support your local NGOs, maybe join a cause, I don't know? I recommend reading on ecological and feminist economics though
however, I know you can help the affected riverine families by donating to organizations dedicated to helping the region. keep in mind a single US dollar, pound or euro is worth over 5x more in our currency so anything you donate at all will certainly help those affected.
FAS - Sustainable Amazon Fundation
Idesam - Sustainable Developent and Preservation Institute of Amazonas
Greenpeace Brasil - I know Greenpeace isn't the best but they're one of the few options I can think of that have a bridge to the international world and they are helping directly
There are a lot of other smaller/local NGOs but I'm not sure how you could donate to them from overseas, I'll leave some of them here anyway:
Projeto Gari
Caritás Brasileira
If you know any other organizations please link them, I'll be sure to reblog though my reach isn't a lot
thank you so much for reading this to the end, don't feel obligated to share but please do if you can! even if you just read up to here it means a lot to me that someone out there knows
also as an afterthought, I wanted to expand on why I think this hasn't made big news yet: because unlike the case of the 2020 forest fires, other countries have to hold themselves accountable when looking at this situation. while in 2020 it was easier to pretend the fires were all our fault and people were talking about taking the amazon away from us like they wouldn't do much worse. global superpowers have no more forests to speak of so I guess they've been eyeing what latin america still has. so like this bit of the post is just to say if you're thinking of saying anything of the sort, maybe think of what your own country has done to contribute to this instead of blaming brazil exclusively and saying the amazon should be protected by force or whatever
#solarpunk#sustainability#environmentalism#climate change#climate crisis#global warming#amazon rainforest#amazon river#geography#brazil#degrowth#punk#global boiling#ecopunk#anti capitalism#climate action#climate activism#the world does not die on my watch#i saw someone use that tag and uh i like it we should make it a thing#long post#:/ sorry i know no one likes lengthy bad news posts on their dashes but i've been thinking about this quite a bit#and i don't really know what to do to help bc i don't have money to donate and i am 10 thousand km away#i think i could be doing more to help but i am already trying my best#again dont feel obligated to share or read this but it would be nice and i would love you forever#have removed lbv from the post
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"wrio isn't a cop hes a king"
Can someone with brains please please PLEASE talk about the disgusting portrayal of cops, crime, court proceedings, justice system and prison incarceration in genshin impact's fontaine update because I cannot SIT HERE and see people completely destroy their brain cells just so they could play a mediocre game and make some fictional men fuck in their mind
I'm deadass surprised there isn't more people talking about it??? I'm honestly so ??? It's literally presenting prison labour as a good thing. Wriothesley, the prison administrator, got rich off of making his inmates build police robots for the state AND HE'S PRAISED FOR IT. AND THEY'RE PAID IN COUPONS THAT CAN ONLY BE USED IN JAIL. HE WAS REWARDED FOR IT WITH HIS DUKE STATUS.
The fact that the fucking MC's mascot was like "oh the prisoners get one free meal a day? you're making life too good down here what if no one wants to leave :(" what in the bullshit. What in the. There's also a fighting ring in the prison, by the way, and you can bet on it with your coupons you just can't bet on both fighters.
The. This is a scene people think is hot. "But that's a bad guy!" THAT'S HOW THE NARRATIVE IS WRITTEN. THEY ARE ALWAYS THE BAD GUY IN FICTION. THAT'S HOW COPAGANDA WORKS, they make you think people in power can just beat the shit outta anyone and of course the person deserves it because they are clearly always the bad guys! And the people in power are always right! This is sarcasm btw.
Neuvillette and the magic judgement machine are literally seen as undeniable justice ordained by magic and NO ONE KNOWS HOW IT WORKS. NEUVILLETTE HIMSELF HAS NO CLUE WHAT HE'S DOING HE'S ACTIVELY FIGURING SHIT OUT AS WE SPEAK. And yet it's what sends people to The Worst Most Dangerous Super Scary Prison Ever Where There's No Laws [but 1 meal a day's great /s].
"But he feels bad!" Genshin has repeatedly chosen to highlight the pains and troubles of the oppressors [Eula] [Ei/Shogun] and there's literally never any repercussions for them aside from when they portray The Haterz clearly as villains or they turn it around and say "Well it was a misunderstanding all along! No one's to blame here!"
I'm not smart enough to go into details I'm just saying. This. needs to be talked about. I'm not telling you to stop the game bc Hyperfixations not really smth that can be controlled or whatever I get It I Got Back into the game when the first trailer dropped I drew neuvillette fanart and then everything just went downhill since then and I'm like why the fuck did I expect anything better than racist, pro cop dogshit from Mihoyo It needs to be talked about ESPECIALLY by people who still cares about it to critically. assess what the fuck you are absorbing because this shit isn't okay. This is literally paw patrol for weebs they just didn't call anyone a "cop"
PLEASE. TALK ABOUT IT.
#genshin impact#wriothesley#neuvillette#the fact that he parades around in handcuffs aside#scratching my head. erm. either way. guillotine#the only goal of this post is to get people thinking about it. i know genshin fans have no brains tho#like i said.#paw patrol for weebs#if ur a wrio fan getting hot flashes or whatever please do realize he's done the most dirty through the writing. because he was convicted.#as a child. and treated horrifically in prison. but because genshin don't actually want to make commentary on anything.#he's given no real development or complexity in the most Traumatic aspect of his history.#like i said. unfortunately I had my own interpretations of wriolette and especially wriothesley. it's bc when I see something bad i start t#fix them in my head and then i get attached to the superior version that i made up. but like if you don't see a problem#with the fact that 1) wriothesley was originally gonna be the darkest beige in fontaine. and hes the exconvict who#ends up being the warden. the narrative being written isnt a good one. his 'growth' isnt a good one. he was an abused and neglected child#he didn't need 'oh hes a convict but because of his exceptional skills and good perspective he's redeemed himself!' he needed fucking#social services and therapy. Do they even have education in the meropide. he was arrested as a child AGAIN LIKE. WHO TAUGHT HIM ECONOMICS.#even for a character people care about they'd rather suck genshin's dick than think more than a second about what's being spoonfed to them#'it wasn't shown as a good thing for him!' but it's writing a narrative that he 'succeeded' because he works hard and was smart about it n#because he wasn't angry and bitter about his position. because he never blamed or questioned the very system that failed him#these very same narrative are pitched against ex convicts. that they are only respectable if they don't complain and just Be Better despite#being given no support no education no capacity for growth. the fact that genshin talks more about wrio boxing his way to the top of the#prison hierarchy than even mention ONCE that he was given therapy or social support. or even give him a representative in court. no this ki#just showed up and knew he was going to jail the moment he woke up in the hospital bed. LIKE HOW ISNT HE PISSED. DOES HE THINK THAT WAS OKA#those affected by the actions of their oppressors in genshin are literally#never allowed to show anger or resentment and everyone who does are antagonist NPCs or brushed off as 'they misunderstood' like there's a#narrative being written here is that victims are only valid when they're 1) exceptional 2) not angry 3) has the inner peace of a fking sain#and it's always THEIR SOLE responsibility to get their lives figured out god forbid they show symptoms that bugs other people or complain#' if prison standard of living was better crime rates would increase!' guess who also says this irl about prison reform.#anyways. i dont really know that much abt prison reform and abolition but i know enough to tell this is bullshit. hence people with more br
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unadulterated loathing (pt 2)
pt 1 / pt 3
pairing: fiyero tigelaar x fem reader
summary: you are forced to partner with fiyero on a history project. things don't go as you imagine.
a/n: sprinkling anthony bridgerton references in this because wreck my plans that's my man!! anyways this is actually going to be 3 parts because i have zero self control and ended up writing 15k words in total and im trying to see whether i like posting parts or doing one whole one shot more so there's going to be a third part. but for once in my writer life i have the whole thing written so it will be out in a couple days! have no idea how this fic became this long out of nowhere but i hope you all enjoy lol. stressed reader x calm bf will always be famous on this blog
wc: 4.9k
warning(s): almost cheating? fiyero is still w/ galinda for most of this so the line is very blurred but they dont cross it lmao. the slightest bit of angst but basically all fluff
“Isn’t this nice?” Fiyero spread his arms out as you took a seat in the grass. Idly, you wondered about getting grass stains out before he started talking again. “Fresh air, actual sunlight, and things to look at other than words on a page.”
“I do go outside,” you said wryly. “You act like I’m some hermit.”
He shrugged. “I only ever see you in class or at the library.”
“I’m just there most of the time,” you said with a slight laugh. “I’m not this smart by slacking off.”
Fiyero said your name with surprise. “Was that a joke?”
You laughed again. “Hardly.”
“I think it was,” he nodded. “You really are learning how to have fun.”
“I know how to have fun!” you exclaimed. “We just have different ideas of fun!”
“And what is your idea of fun?” Fiyero asked pointedly. “Studying? Attending class? Going through the intricacies of various languages?”
“That last one is very fun,” you defended.
“How did you decide on linguistics anyways?” he asked. “You’re incredibly passionate about something I didn’t even know was a major here.”
“It’s not, technically.” You shrugged. “I’m a history major. I just convinced Doctor Dillamond to let me be his teacher’s assistant so I could include more linguistics lessons in the syllabus.”
“How do you do it?” he asked. “Oz— why do you do it? You’re stressed all the time. Surely taking one less class or not being a TA wouldn’t kill you. All of this seems like it is.”
“I’m not like you, Fiyero,” you said. “I can’t get kicked out of a hundred schools and still be fine. I’ve got one chance, and if I squander it, then I’ve also squandered my dream. And that’s unacceptable to me.”
“There’s always second chances,” he said. “And third ones, too. Sometimes even fourth.”
“Maybe for a prince,” you laughed. “But not for somebody like me.”
“And just who are you?” Fiyero asked as he sat down next to you. “I know you’re Gillikinese and I know you’re probably going to succeed in whatever you attempt. But I still feel like I don’t know anything about who you are without the school uniform.”
“Why does that matter?” you asked defensively. “We’re project partners, not friends.”
“Because I’d very much like us to be friends,” he answered simply.
That might have been the most shocking thing he’d said all day. Fiyero Tigelaar, Winkie prince and self-declared slacker and desired paramour of nearly every Shiz student, said he wanted to be your friend.
Again, that warmth bloomed inside you. You tried to ignore it—tried to fully banish it.
“Don’t do this,” you said, looking away from him.
“Do what?”
“Act like you like me,” you said, stronger this time. “You— you do it with everyone, and that’s fine, but don’t do it with me.”
“I’m not following,” Fiyero said.
You glared at him. “I know you aren’t this daft.”
“Apologies,” he said. “I’m just trying to figure out how you figured I don’t genuinely like you.”
You blinked. “Because you’re you. You flirt with everybody so you can dance through life.”
“Of course,” Fiyero agreed. “It just so happens that I genuinely like you in addition.”
Your eyes narrowed. “Why?”
His laugh was nothing but shocked. “Are you asking me why I like you?”
“Well,” you glanced away with a huff, “when you put it like that it sounds ridiculous.”
“I’ll bite anyways,” Fiyero said. “I like you because you know what you want. You never really stop talking about it, honestly.”
“Are you trying to compliment me?”
“You’re intelligent and driven and you don’t shy away from anything you want,” he continued. “And you thoroughly vex me in near every encounter we have, most joyously.”
“…So you like me because I’m stubborn and confusing,” you said.
Fiyero sighed. “You‘ve got some serious self esteem issues.”
“I do not!” you exclaimed.
“You’ve tied your worth to your academic achievement,” he said. “You can’t see all the good you’ve already done, how smart you truly are, because you only stress about the next thing you need to do. You’d rather lose your mind over what’s to come than realize all you’ve got in the moment.”
Your mouth opened and closed for a good five seconds, like a fish out of water, before it snapped shut.
“I thought you were supposed to be brainless,” you settled on.
“I am,” Fiyero agreed with a chuckle. “But I also know people better than most, and our study sessions have given me ample time to study you.”
Great Oz, why was your face so hot? You felt like you were burning up from the inside out. Fiyero Tigelaar was killing you, and slowly at that.
“Why are you studying me?” you asked pointedly.
“Because you’re interesting,” he said. “And very beautiful.”
“Well, I’m— I’m glad we’ve finally reached a truce.” You tried to sound as casual as possible—you couldn’t let Fiyero know the full effect he was beginning to have on you. You didn’t think he would ever shut up about that, and Galinda certainly wouldn’t either. You didn’t want to make an enemy of her. “It’ll make this project much easier.”
“Yes,” Fiyero mused. “I believe it will.”
Amusement, and maybe something warmer, danced in his irises. A very small part of you wanted to let yourself fall, freely and uncaring, just as every other student did.
You had to lock that part of you away, never to be seen again. You didn’t like Fiyero. He was still a nuisance in every single sense of the word.
You swallowed, trying to cure your cottonmouth. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice.
You needed to finish this essay immediately.
-
You sighed when you heard a knock on your door. Coralie, for how smart she was, had a habit of forgetting her room key—so much so that you’d stopped bothering to lock the door on the days she went to class before you.
“It’s unlocked, Cora!” you called out. You didn’t want to get up from your desk, not when you were in the middle of writing. You were worried that you would lose the thread of inspiration you’d finally caught the moment you got out of your chair.
“You shouldn’t leave your door unlocked,” a familiar voice said. “All sorts of miscreants could get in.”
Your hand slipped in your shock, but you couldn’t even be annoyed about smearing the fresh ink on the page or getting it on your shirt cuffs because you had more important things to worry about. Namely, your surprise visitor.
“Fiyero?”
“Present,” he affirmed as he leaned against your doorframe. “You’ve got a nice place here.”
“Thank you,” you said. “What are you doing here?”
“Much less pink than Galinda’s,” he continued. “I think it’s the only color she owns, honestly. A bit absurd but—”
“What are you doing here?” you repeated.
“I should be asking you that question,” Fiyero said, eyes narrowing in on you. “I went to the library and you weren’t there.”
You cleared your throat. “I was giving you the day off.”
He frowned and stood up from the doorframe. “Who said I wanted the day off?”
“You,” you said. “When you didn’t show up to Doctor Dillamond’s class today.”
Fiyero brushed his hand through the air. “That’s different.”
You looked at him expectantly. “So you skipped the class this project is for, but you don’t want to skip the actual project.”
“That sounds about right, yes.”
“You don’t even do anything whenever we’re together,” you said. “You just stare at me and complain about doing work and ask me about my life and take an hour to write one page of notes.”
“That also sounds about right,” Fiyero said. “I enjoy your presence. Do you not enjoy mine?”
If only he knew the way he’d been making you feel for the past week. He could never know that he appeared in your dream last night.
“...Your presence is fine,” you said. “I just figured I would give you the day off, seeing as we only have one week left until it’s due.”
“How much have you written already without me?” he asked.
“Five pages, but that—”
“You’ve nearly done half of the project without me?” Fiyero interrupted.
“...Yes?” Why did you actually feel bad about this?
Fiyero got closer so he could look over your shoulder at your work, and you found yourself holding your breath at his proximity.
“Do you think you’re doing me a favor?”
“Clearly,” you said. “The sooner it’s done, the sooner it’s over, and the sooner you don’t have to deal with me anymore.” You shrugged. “You said you wanted to ride my coattails anyways, so I figured I would make it easier for you.”
“Just a few days ago you were chastising me for not doing my part,” Fiyero said. “Now you’re not even letting me try?”
“I—” the words stuck in your throat, and again you felt your face heat.
I don’t want to have to think about any of this more than I have to because I’m worried what I’ll realize.
I don’t want to give you any more chances to take me off course because I know I’ll say yes.
I don’t want to be around you longer than I have to because I think I’m starting to like you.
“Yes?”
“I am doing you a favor,” you finally decided. “You don’t have to worry about it. Go ride that horse of yours, or bother other students, or spend time with Galinda. You’ve earned it.”
“Hardly,” Fiyero said. “I’m doing my part, whether you like it or not. We’ll meet at the library tomorrow morning before class like we’ve been doing.”
“I have class at 8 in the morning tomorrow.”
“...Then we’ll do it after class,” he reneged. “I do need my beauty sleep.”
That got a smile out of you, which spurned one from Fiyero in turn. “I think that is one of the only genuine smiles you’ve given me since we started working together.”
“I smile plenty,” you insisted.
“At your books,” Fiyero said. “Not at me.”
“That’s because my books are oh-so-beautiful,” you said. “And they don’t even need beauty sleep.”
He placed his hand on his heart. “You wound me.”
Your smile grew and you set your pen down. “The library after class?”
Fiyero nodded and tapped on your desk as he stood up. “Library after class.”
He was about to go to the door when Coralie poked her head in. “Why is the door— oh! Fiyero!” She straightened up, plastering on a pretty smile as she stepped inside. “What brings you to our corner of Shiz?”
“Doctor Dillamond’s midterm,” he said. “Your roommate here is trying to save all of the fun for herself.”
“That sounds like her,” Cora nodded sagely. “You’re very good to try and keep her from that fate.”
Fiyero pressed his hand to his chest. “I consider it my duty. But I apologize for the intrusion—I’ll leave the two of you be.”
“Oh, stay as long as you want,” she spoke up. “I’m sure your partner wouldn’t mind.”
“He’s got things to do,” you interceded. “You’ve got things to do, Fiyero.”
He smiled knowingly. “I certainly do. You lovely ladies have a fine rest of your day.” He looked at you and said your name. “Don’t forget tomorrow.”
“How could I?” you said weakly.
Fiyero chuckled and bowed his head in lieu of more parting words. The second he left, Cora turned to you with wide eyes.
“Don’t,” you warned.
“He came here to talk to you!” she exclaimed. “He found out your room number because he wanted to talk to you!”
“Be quiet!” you exclaimed. “The door is still open—he can probably hear your screeching!”
Coralie shut the door and squealed. “He likes you!”
“We are project partners,” you enunciated. “Nothing more.”
“Oh, I’m sure that’s what you think,” she said. “Just like I’m sure that he wants to be more.”
“You’re acting like he isn’t with Galinda,” you said. “She controls this whole school—do you remember what happened to Elphaba when she didn’t like her?”
Cora shrugged. “Sure. But I’ve been hearing there’s trouble in paradise.”
That got you paying attention. “What?”
“I knew it!” Coralie exclaimed—nearly yelled, honestly. “I knew you liked him!”
“Be quiet!” you whisper-yelled. “Oz, what is wrong with you?”
“I knew you liked him!” she repeated. “And he likes you— oh, it is too perfect!”
“He does not like me,” you insisted, “and you are crazy.”
“You didn’t say that you didn’t like him,” Coralie sung, and you screwed your eyes shut.
“Fine!” you finally said. “Fine— I like him. Will you stop now?”
“Of course not,” she said, and you sighed. “How bad do you have it?”
“I don’t have it bad,” you scoffed. “I just— I enjoy spending time with him. And I think he’s kind of cute.”
“Oh, you are full on head over heels,” she mused. “You just don’t know it. It’s okay.”
You groaned as you buried your head in your hands. “I hate you.”
She laughed. “And you like Fiyero.”
“Shut up.” Your words were muffled, but you meant them all the same.
You were comically doomed.
-
The next day went… shockingly smooth.
Fiyero was in the library when he said he’d be—he was even there before you, much to your surprise and he still had the notebook and pen you’d given him, much to his surprise. He made sure to bring an extra canteen of water for you, because he noticed you never had any with you. You were probably concerningly dehydrated.
He tried to be a more attentive student to you than he’d ever been at any of his classes—not that that was difficult. You explained your outline and all the work you’d already done, what he could do on the last five pages and how to make his writing voice match yours to make a consistent paper.
He wrote notes both on what you knew about Ilara Mayfair (a ridiculous amount, in his opinion) and anything else you thought he needed to know (also a ridiculous amount).
He was impressed most of all, though. No wonder you’d isolated yourself from near the entire student body and stressed over every letter in every sentence in every assignment. You were incredibly intelligent, but you were also able to explain everything in a way that even he understood. Fiyero had never really cared about… well, anything relating to school before he ended up partners with you.
But now, Fiyero found himself surprisingly entranced by it all. He’d always liked your voice, and he had a permanent smile on his lips watching you talk so easily about your passions. It put a spark in your eye and a brightness about you that was usually bogged down by everything else that you stressed about.
You were beautiful, especially when you were happy. And Fiyero had discovered over the past week that you were happiest when you got to talk about what you cared about to an interested audience. He only regretted acting like he wasn’t interested for so long.
Finally, when Fiyero called a break on account of his hands aching (he’d never written this much in his life, and it still was only half of what you did basically every day), and you were eating an apple (that he also brought, because you really didn’t take care of yourself when you were doing work, which was always), he smiled at you.
“You know, we really do make a good team,” Fiyero said.
You swallowed the bite of apple you had in your mouth and cocked your head as you looked at him. “You think?”
“I know,” he nodded. “You’ve done the impossible, darling. You’ve actually made me care about school.”
“Well, I think you’ve done the impossible too.” You lifted the apple up. “You made me care about my health during midterms season.”
“It certainly wasn’t easy,” he said wryly. “You kind of took it all kicking and screaming.”
You shrugged. “I’m not top of our class for nothing.”
“Do you have to stress yourself into misery to be top of the class?” he asked.
“I’m not miserable,” you retorted.
It was when you said things like that that Fiyero really began to worry about you. It was part of the reason he was so intent on staying by your side through this whole project—no matter how dull he found the material—after the first session. He sometimes saw you around campus, usually carrying a stack of books or talking with your roommate.
After Fiyero was paired with you, he wondered why he didn’t see you more before it all, considering how active you were with literally everything school-wise. Then he realized you were likely always in the library, and the only time he’d visited the library was on Galinda’s tour. You were there, well enough, but you took your leave as soon as things started getting rowdy.
A shame, he realized. He wondered what your relationship could have been had Galinda not staked her claim on him so soon.
You weren’t going to take care of yourself, clearly enough, so Fiyero decided—at least for the duration of this project—that he would. It didn’t really matter if you were top of the class if you passed out from stress, exhaustion, annoyance, or a mix of all three. Likely a mix of all three.
He didn’t really anticipate those feelings morphing into genuine affection.
“I seem to recall you saying you dream of your future assignments,” Fiyero said, coming out of his thoughts. “That doesn’t sound like the habit of a happy person.”
“Oh, please,” you scoffed. “Everybody has stress dreams.”
“You know, I really don’t think they do,” Fiyero said.
You rolled your eyes as you picked your pen up with your free hand and jotted down a few more sentences. “Sure.”
“On that note,” he said, “why don’t we call it a day?”
“We can’t call it a day,” you said. You took another bite from your apple and swallowed, continuing to write all the while without looking at him. “We’re not finished yet.”
“That is the most casually you’ve said that so far,” Fiyero mused. “I really am making progress.”
You laughed, finally paying him mind. “Progress with what?”
“I’ve been tracking your smiles and laughs this whole time,” he said. “See, this essay was your project, but that was mine—trying to make you enjoy your life.”
“This essay is both of our projects, Fiyero,” you said. “Besides, I don’t think Doctor Dillamond will accept your bar graph of all the times I laughed at you making a fool of yourself.” You frowned. “Or would it be a line graph because it’s over time? Or maybe it could be—”
“Alright,” he interrupted. “You’re going into hypotheticals on my joke. That’s clearly the sign that we need to call it a day.”
“…Fine,” you reneged. “But it’s just a break, not calling it a day. And I get to finish proofreading the rest of the essay when we get back.”
“A compromise,” Fiyero said. “Love it.”
You rolled your eyes as you started gathering your things. “You love everything.”
“Eh,” he tilted his head, and you felt his eyes on you. “Most things.”
You couldn’t help your smile, much as you tried to bite it back. “Whatever.”
Soon enough, you and Fiyero were sitting together by the dock. You let your legs dangle over as you watched the scenery around campus—the ripple of the water, the gentle brush of the wind, the chirping birds that flew around without a care.
“Isn’t this nice?” Fiyero asked. He also had his legs over the edge, but he’d laid down against the stone.
“You don’t have to push your relaxation propaganda so hard anymore,” you said wryly. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
“And I’m grateful for it,” he said. “Someone that works as hard as you do deserves to relax the same amount.”
“We’ve gone over this a thousand times—”
“I know,” he interrupted. He turned his head to smile at you. “I just have to hope that some of it sticks.”
You rolled your eyes, once again unable to hide your smile. “And I have to hope for the same with this paper. Do you think you’ll remember any of this once we turn it in?”
“Oh, but of course. You were the one to teach it to me, after all. I could hardly forget it all.”
“Good,” you said. “Everyone should know about Ilara Mayfair.”
Fiyero chuckled, and you once again fell into comfortable silence.
That was the thing that shocked you the most, you think. Not that you were beginning to like Fiyero, or that you actually liked Fiyero, or that you actually looked forward to spending time with him. It was that you were so comfortable just sitting with him in silence.
It was very difficult to get to the silence, though. Fiyero couldn’t really stay quiet, and you didn’t know if he liked talking or the sound of his own voice. But you found it didn’t really annoy you like it used to.
Great Oz. You really were into him. How embarrassing.
Eventually, when the strain in your wrists and fingers from writing had finally faded, you turned your head to look at Fiyero. “I think it’s time we go back.”
He sighed. “Already?”
“It’s been fifteen minutes,” you said. “Far longer than the breaks I usually take.”
He opened his mouth, likely to say something of the same ‘you need to relax’ ilk, but you held up your hand. “Don’t. Just be thankful you got me away for this long.”
Fiyero smiled, and he pulled himself up off the ground. “I always am.”
He held his hand out, and you stared at him for a moment. “Why do you always do that?”
“Help you up?”
You nodded. “I can do it myself.”
He shrugged. “I told you it was my project to make your life easier.”
“You said it was your project to track my happiness,” you said.
“And they go hand in hand,” he said. “I’m surprised you remember.”
“It happened thirty minutes ago, Fiyero,” you said wryly. “Besides, I remember everything. It’s a gift.”
Fiyero laughed, and you finally took his hand. He pulled you up and once again, you tumbled a bit too close—and again, his hand fell to your waist. He had to be doing this on purpose by now.
“We keep finding ourselves in this position,” Fiyero mused.
Heat flooded your cheeks like usual. “And whose fault is that?”
“Well,” he said, tilting his head, “you’re not exactly pulling away.”
Your mouth opened, trying to think of what words to say when your head was reeling from his mere presence. But then you saw a flash of pink in the background, and your eyes darted away from Fiyero.
Galinda. She was distracted, talking with Pfannee and Shenshen as she went down the stairs. Oz, how did she slip your mind so easily whenever Fiyero was in your proximity? Why did you let him get this close when he was spoken for?
You panicked—nothing less. You tore out of Fiyero’s grasp with a bit too much gumption, and then you stumbled, then you slipped, and then you fell. Fiyero called your name in shock, reaching his hand out, but it was too late. You’d plunged into the water before you could save yourself.
The cold water instantly shocked all your senses, your eyes widening as you gasped out on instinct. Your mouth filled with water and your muscles seized up from the change in temperature—it was so much deeper than you’d imagined, and all your layers of clothing weighing you down were of no use.
You tried your damnedest to ignore the alarm bells going off in your head as you fought against yourself, finally gathering the sense to swim. You kicked your way up to the top, gasping for air once when you breached the surface.
You heard Fiyero yell your name again and you blinked rapidly, trying to clear the water from your eyes. When everything finally came into focus, you saw him on his knees, his coat shed and his sleeves rolled up.
His eyes were wide as he reached his hand out, once again saying your name—this time with a certain desperation. “Are you alright?”
You tried to respond but all you could do was cough, trying to expel the water from your lungs. You took his hand and he helped pull you up onto the dock, where an exhale shuddered out of you.
“I— I am so sorry,” he stammered. It was the first time you’d ever seen him flustered, and you were too busy hacking up a lung to point it out. “Obviously I didn’t think—”
You held up your hand in lieu of saying something, as you didn’t think you could say something.
This was so stupid, and it was something that never would have happened before you and Fiyero started working together. Your paper was due in two days, you’d only just finished the draft, you still had so much proofreading and rewriting to do, and instead, you were here on the docks soaked to the bone.
And you found yourself laughing.
“Oh, Oz,” Fiyero said. “You’ve lost it.”
You couldn’t refute it, because you kept laughing. You could feel the eyes of your classmates on you, could hear them whispering to each other—likely making fun of you—and it only made you laugh harder.
“Are—” Fiyero chuckled nervously as he said your name, “are you okay?”
“I’m soaked,” you got out through your laughs. “And everyone saw me fall into the water. I’m a fool, Fiyero!”��
He was still staring at you in that careful way, as if you were made of glass. “I can’t tell if you’re mad or not.”
“Oh, Fiyero.” You wiped the trailing water off of your face and wrapped your arms around him. You felt him freeze beneath you for the slightest moment—it had to have been the last thing he expected you to do. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Fiyero returned the hug, his movements still unsure. He didn’t seem to care that you were getting him wet, just about your wellbeing. “What— what for, exactly?”
For a moment, you couldn’t look away. His blue eyes were meant to enrapture, his soft lips typically an invitation sealed with a smirk. But for once, Fiyero looked genuine—he wasn’t putting on a performance, or trying to seduce anyone who looked at him. He was genuinely sorry, genuinely confused. It only made you laugh again.
“What for, indeed.” A higher voice pierced through the air, and you separated from Fiyero immediately. Galinda, to no surprise, had found her way over to the chaos you’d created, her compatriots flanking her on either side. She smiled at you brightly, but her whole demeanor was like a violin string pulled taut.
“Galinda,” Fiyero said. “Lovely to see you.” He didn’t seem half as shocked as you at her appearance, but his words fell flat.
“And you as well, dearest.” Her smile turned sickly sweet as she shifted her attention to Fiyero momentarily, taking the opportunity to lace her fingers with his and pull him into a kiss. He pulled away first, but if it affected Galinda, she didn’t let it show when she looked back at you. She batted her eyelashes as she said your name incorrectly. “What was it you were saying?”
The sudden combination of cottonmouth and sour guilt creeping up your throat didn’t really help your already flustered state. She knew what she was doing—but you did too, didn’t you?
She was with Fiyero. You knew that. And though Fiyero danced across the line, you took his hand every time he offered.
“I—” you cleared your throat, attempting a casual smile of your own. “Just that I know why Doctor Dillamond put us together.”
“Excellent,” Fiyero said. “Off-topic, but excellent— are you sure you didn’t hit your head down there?”
“Perhaps you should go to the nurse,” Galinda said. “I’m sure Shenshen could—”
“I’ll be fine,” you interrupted, your smile tightening ever so slightly. You looked at Fiyero. “Meet me at the library tonight, and bring coffee. We’re finishing this project tonight.
“Of course,” he nodded.
You nodded as well, and you started to go. Galinda’s gaze was sugary sweet poison, and you couldn’t take the weight of it anymore.
“Wait,” Fiyero spoke up.
You stopped against your better judgment, and he let go of Galinda’s hand to take his jacket off. He moved closer to you and wrapped it around you. His touch, light but certain, lingered on your shoulders once he’d finished adjusting it, and his gaze stayed on yours
“Until you can change,” he said.
“...Thank you,” you said.
Galinda cleared her throat extremely loudly, her taut smile back. You remembered yourself and stepped away from Fiyero.
“I’ll see you tonight,” you said, already starting on your way. You wouldn’t let him stop you again.
“Tonight,” he agreed, bowing his head in parting.
You only glanced back once you were by the stairs. When you did, you saw Galinda speaking rapidly to Fiyero—you were too far away to hear anything, but she didn’t look happy. When your gaze drifted to him, you found he was already looking at you. Almost subconsciously, you tugged his jacket tighter around you. When you realized what you were doing, you stopped. You averted your eyes immediately and hurried up the stairs.
You weren’t out of breath from exertion.
#fiyero tigelaar x reader#fiyero x reader#wicked x reader#fiyero x you#fiyero tigelaar x you#fiyero movie x reader#wicked movie x reader
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I firmly believe that Kabru is autistic but masks so hard that he’s convinced himself and (almost) everyone around him that he’s neurotypical.
That man’s special interest is people and how they work, but he just thinks it’s him Being So Good At Socializing — like he doesn’t spend 95% of his time people watching and adjusting his personality in response to the traits he witnesses and obsessing over the intricacies of human interaction while mapping an ever growing relationship chart in his head. For fun. He even admits it in the manga!
Like, look at him!!!
It’s such a shame that — because he’s the narrative foil to Laios and his interest is generally considered more “socially acceptable” in both their world and our own — more people don’t realize this about him. He’s constantly misinterpreted as a horribly manipulative person who only acts the way he does to use the people around him, when that’s explicitly shown to not be the case at all. Kabru is naturally empathetic and is almost always thinking about other people, regardless of whether or not they’re right there with him or a thousand miles away.
I mean, his most defining motivation is his desire to do everything he can to avoid another tragedy like the one at Utaya. Someone who doesn’t care wouldn’t have a goal like that, and they most certainly wouldn’t go about it the way he does. He’s constantly working to help people who can help everyone else and tries so hard to make sure that anyone who seems like a threat is actually someone he needs to worry about before doing anything about it. His supposed aversion to Laios is only because of the ridiculous trolley problem he’s set up in his own head.
Outside of that, he (rather justifiably) hates monsters but is desperate to understand Laios’ love for them and his apparently most selfish goal in getting close to the guy was literally just to become friends with him.
When he’s interacting with the canaries and they imply that they’re going to take him and all of his friends to the West, his first thought is of Rin and how much she’d hate to be stuck in the place that gave her so many bad memories.
He helps Kuro learn Common when Mickbell is asleep and firmly looks forward to the day that the half-foot and Kuro can communicate properly so that their relationship can get properly started without any miscommunication.
And he understands Mithrun with only a handful of weeks AT BEST interacting with him, getting enraged when the elf seems to give up and immediately trying to help him find a new motivation for life.
I’m excited just thinking about the day that Kabru starts unmasking more and more around his friends — both new and old — because if being with my current friend group has taught me anything, it’s that hanging out with anyone so unabashedly themselves is bound to make you more comfortable with yourself too. It’s part of the reason why I like Labru so much! There’s something nice about imagining them hanging out in the throne room or laying in the grass outside and talking for hours on end about their special interests. They might not strictly understand what the other finds so fascinating about monsters or people, but they can grasp that shared feeling of love.
They probably influence each other in really good ways too, with Kabru helping Laios figure out what people are thinking even when it doesn’t make sense or Laios helping Kabru understand that not everyone and everything needs to be analyzed a thousand times over. They both get to learn that there are people like them and people who will love them without them ever having to change a thing about themselves. They deserve to know that they’re fine the way they are.
#I have so many more thoughts about these two#like how Laios is actually the one who couldn’t really care about people outside of his immediate friends and family#that his love is the one that would burn down the world if it meant the people he cared about got to be as safe and happy as they should be#always as themselves#never as the corrupted versions of them in their nightmares or by the winged lions distortions#which is how Kabru would learn to be more selfish and needy#encouraged to act on his own desires and help other people at the same time#these two have ruined me#especially Kabru#because I’m predictable and my other two favorite characters are Tachihara Michizou and Nara Shikamaru#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi kabru#kabru of utaya#dungeon meshi laios#laios touden#dungeon meshi rin#rinsha fana#dungeon meshi mickbell#mickbell#dungeon meshi kuro#kuro#dungeon meshi mithrun#mithrun#labru
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QoL as Kindness: ISAT's diagetic tutorials
This is the hopefully first of a series of posts I'll be doing reinterpreting ISAT's Loop through the lens of START AGAIN: a prologue's context. As such....
Major spoilers for both ISAT (all acts, including optional content) and SASASAP (all endings).
One of the biggest differences between ISAT and SASASAP is it’s QoL – it’s Quality of Life. QoL refers to all the little things that make a game just that little bit more playable; quick to navigate menus, quicksaving… tutorials.
It’s not really a surprise that SASASAP is as RPGmaker as RPGmaker gets. This isn’t a criticism, just an observation, and also a compliment to how much Adrienne’s skills with the engine improved between releases. Still, there’s some things that ISAT has over SASASAP.
ISAT’s QoL is absolutely essential to making it bearable. Anyone ever watch an ISAT playthrough where the player sighed in relief as the tutorial on picking where you loop came up?
SASASAP lacks a lot of ISAT’s QoL because it’s an earlier project without a studio backing it, but what impresses me is how this change ties into narrative.
Because the greatest chunk of ISAT’s greatest QoL is provided by Loop.
Even before you ever meet them, they’re already over your shoulder. Loop is the tutorial, speaking to you inside your brain. It’s genius, in that no player is ever going to question this. Hell, SASASAP’s movement tutorial is the exact same thing with less flavoring
This reframes what the QoL is – it’s not just a convenience to the player, it’s a convenience to Siffrin, too. It’s diegetic. It’s not something the game is giving you, it’s something Loop is giving you. Let’s look at what Loop gives you, and more importantly, why.
Zone Out
The first of the QoL features I want to talk about is the Zone Out function, the absolute bread and butter of not making this game a total slog.
The Zone Out feature as is did not exist in SASASAP (because Adrienne didn’t know how to do it yet) – instead, some doubled scenes let you just skip them entirely outright. There’s only two extremes: listen to all of it again, or none of it.
ISAT’s zone out system is much more dynamic, since it fast forwards dialogue line by line, letting you zone in whenever you’d like, and forcing you to zone in whenever a) something notably new happens, or b) whenever Siffrin speaks.
The way this feature is introced by Loop is kind of genius. Because Loop’s tutorial is about one thing – it’s okay to skip.
“You might miss what your party is saying, but who cares, right? If you make them mad, you can always loop back and they'll have forgotten all about it!”
It’s a cruel joke, or at least it seems that way on the surface. It’s also genuine advice. And a cruel joke at the same time. For Siffrin, freshly starting the loops, this is scandalous, but for Loop, who’s long since desensitized, it’s the same old same old.
What Loop’s doing here, by joking about Siffrin not listening to the party, is alliviate Siffrin’s guilt when they inevitably take Loop up on the offer. Because, even though Loop loves their party members…
From SASASAP, when sitting outside the bathroom:
(Will you get farther this time?) (Will you live this time?) (Or are you stuck listening to the same lines forever?) (…) (Stars, you’re so tired.)
Loop knows intimately well that Siffrin is going to drive themself insane trying to be a people pleaser every single loop, so this joke is telling the outright – don’t bother.
At first, Siffrin (and the player) still might. I really enjoyed reading the same conversations five times minimum because they’re fun and I’m deranged, but at some point I did start skipping them. And it was a relief to know there wouldn’t be anything new.
Siffrin: “Should I check everything again?” Loop: “You mean, should you check the same barrels, the same closets, the same objects on tables every loop?” Loop: “I mean, you can, but… You know things won’t change, right?” Loop: “If you really want to get a certain item again, or listen to your friends repeat something funny, you should!” Loop: “I personally would only check two or three things every loop, and ignore the rest.” Loop: “It will just make you crazy to expect something to change, when nothing will.” Loop: “All that might change is your reaction to it!”
The game is telling you, Loop is telling Siffrin, don’t drive yourself insane playing, please. The characters aren’t going to remember if you skipped something.
In the course of my script wizard activities, I’ve gotten an in-depth view of just how much that actually holds up. Pretty much all major differences are by Act, unrelated of how often you’ve done something. Minor variations apply for other things, but… those variations are minor.
And this also points out what all those variations are. Siffrin’s reactions!
Loop’s pre-empting Siffrin’s guilt, cuz they probably felt it themself. Hell, we do know they felt the pressure to perform and make sure nobody notices anything’s wrong, in SASASAP! Right up until the finale, Loop was driving themself up the wall.
(You have to act, you can't crack, you have to fake it and play it exactly as you did the first time for the whole way through so your friends don't find out anything is wrong) (You don't want to know what would happen if they knew their quest was in vain) (If they knew their quest for justice and change always ends in stillness and death!)
Acting everything out perfectly is one of the ending paths for SASASAP, which results in… complete and utter failure. Obviously.
(You acted perfectly normally, didn't you?) (Nothing out of place, nothing weird, every line the same as it might've been the first time?) (Ah…That was your mistake, wasn't it…?) (Because… Didn't your very first time… end exactly like this?) (The King throws the Housemaiden's body onto the floor again.)
Zoning out for too many conversations actually awards weird points in SASASAP, locking you out of the Perfect Ending. On the other hand, acting “perfectly” in ISAT… has no awards whatsoever. No special scene or or optional event or anything at all. You get nothing for paying attention!!!
So spare yourself the pain already, m’kay?
(On that note: I don’t think Loop not being sarcastic about it would’ve like… worked. At the start of ACT 2, Siffrin isn’t going to believe Loop when they say “Stop forcing yourself to relive the same thing over and over because you’ll start seeing your friends as disposable actors and lose touch with reality.” That all comes later, when Siffrin can look back on Loop’s words and see how right they were.)
Loop Back
The second biggest sigh of relief in any given ISAT playthrough is probably this specific tutorial.
Loop graciously shows you that you don’t need to loop back all the way to the beginning every single time. You can pick and choose where to go, even going forward by paying up with Memories of Skirmish.
This is a feature SASASAP does not possess, for the reason that it is much, much shorter, only covering about as much as one floor of ISAT’s three floor House.
But… since this is a character showing this to you, Loop showing this to you, we can ask… when did Loop learn this? After all, START AGAIN, Loop’s loops, do not have this feature.
“It'll save you time, so it's important, so listen up!”
This feature not existing in SASASAP means this is a thing that Loop did not know exists during their own time as Siffrin.
And that’s just the thing, isn’t it? SASASAP’s Siffrin does not know how to do this. They cannot pick and choose where they end up, as demonstrated wonderfully by SASASAP’s True Ending. There’s an even more wonderful implication, though –
On SASASAP’s Perfect End path, when exiting the final room before the King, Isabeau says this:
Isabeau: “…I'm glad you're feeling better, though!” Siffrin: (…?) “What do you mean…?” Isabeau: “Oh!!! Um, you were…” Isabeau: “Well! You were acting a little weird when we were way closer to the Castle's entrance……” Isabeau: “You weren't really listening to us, you were kinda smiling the way you do when you're actually not happy…” Isabeau: “…and you like, almost acted like you knew exactly where you were going?” Isabeau: “But clearly you're feeling better now! You're acting just like normal!!!”
SASASAP’s Siffrin knew how to do this, somehow managed to lock themself into the House’s last floor… and then forgot how to get back. By making this tutorial, Loop is ensuring that Siffrin never will.
“What can I do next?” – SASASAP’s greatest flaw
So, if you’ve had the pleasure of playing START AGAIN START AGAIN START AGAIN: a prologue yourself (as you should), then you’ve probably faced this scenario, or some variation of it:
I got to the end, I died to the King, but… what do I do next? The game tells me to go for the extremes, but how do I do that?
(edit: apparently some of yall just managed to speedrun sasasap in two loops. You're gonna need to stay with me here, please. Suspend your disbelief a bit, because a lot of people [including me] were dumbasses about it)
Maybe you try another loop, but just get the same ending again (or a differnet one, depending on a coinflip). You’re getting frustrated. Getting the Perfect Ending demands pinpoint precision to avoid everything weird, the True Ending demands good memorization of every single damn key in the game, and the order you do everything in. (Though, to be fair, the requirements on that one are actually more merciful than one might expect.)
Point is, in SASASAP, it’s incredibly easy to get stuck in that endless loop of “What the fuck do I do now?” It’s not uncommon to think you got it right only to get the same result anyways. What does one do in this situation?
They consult a guide, obviously.
START AGAIN’s ending requirements are frustrating. They are. When I tried to go for either the Perfect or the True Ending, I saved inside every single room, just so I could get right back to it when I inevitably fucked up five times minimum. This is both criticism… and praise. Because Loop is the major reason that ISAT does not suffer from this same problem.
Whenever you’re stuck in ISAT, Loop is just a single loop or call away at any times. And besides that, no plot requirement in ISAT demands nearly as many moving pieces all at once as SASASAP does – the “Sus Route” has been relegated to an optional ACT 4 exclusive event, instead of the game’s True Ending.
Instead of consulting an external guide on how to progress, you have one right there in the game, always ready with the next tip. They’re not infallible, mind you – enough time in Isatcord’s #game-help proves that, but Loop solved all of the moments I got stuck and frustrated in ISAT for me.
(Primarily that one time you need to figure out that a photo is similar to being stuck in time. That moment in particular is actually commendable, as you need to ask Loop about it twice before they tell you, leaving you a last shot to try and figure it out on your own.) Loop is a feature that nullifies SASASAP’s greatest flaw in its successor, and they choose to do so.
Memory of Keys
In my humble opinion, Loop does this because… they do not want Siffrin to suffer as they did. They want Siffrin to escape. And there is no greater example of their kindness than how Loop treats keys.
First of all, all keys in the game have a sparkling effect on them if you’ve picked them up at least once before, making it immediately clear where in the room they are. This means you don’t need to search every single room top to bottom for them, as you had to do for any keys and Star Crests in SASASAP. It’s some nice QoL that just means you don’t have to re-search the same area if you happened to forget which specific cupboard the key was in.
Key point being: SASASAP did not have this feature. In SASASAP, you did have to memorize where all the keys are, and doing so is expected if you want the True Ending.
Loop does not want Siffrin to have to do this. Because…
From SASASAP’s True End:
(The torch in the infirmary? That’s important!) (The key in the book? Soooo important.) (The names of your friends, that have been by your side throughout this entire adventure?) (Not worth remembering.)
Compared to ISAT’s ACT 2:
Siffrin: “How come I can see where the keys are?” Loop: “Whaaaaat? You caaaaaan? How can that beeeeeee?” Siffrin: “Is it thanks to you?” Loop: “Maybe.” Loop: “I figured you'd have other things to worry about than where a stupid key is.” Loop: “No need to thank me.”
To Loop, that they memorized the House’s layout over their friends’ names is a defining moment to their own failures. After all, in all likelihood, the True End of SASASAP is the last loop before they called it quits. It’s a traumatic experience from them, one that came from having to remember all the dumb fucking keys.
They do not want Siffrin to experience this. They do not want Siffrin to have to memorize the House, to push away what actually matters in favor of efficiency. So Loop is directly, personally, giving them a boon, so that Siffrin does not have to.
Conclusion
There’s probably more tutorial things I could talk about, but I feel like you’re seeing the pattern now, even if I don’t bring up saving level ups or keeping equipment or the “You’re stuck” signifier, least of all cuz they don’t have direct points of comparison with SASASAP like my other examples do (SASASAP has no changeable equipment, and saving levels doesn’t matter if you only have one floor, and you can’t softlock either.). So.
Loop’s tutorials all belie a fundamental kindness to their character. Everything that made their own experience trapped in the timeloop just that bit worse, they’re choosing to do away with it for Siffrin. They are choosing to make Siffrin’s time here easier.
Zoning out too much lead to them never paying attention to their friends, forgetting their names, so they make sure that Siffrin can still zone back in whenever something new happens.
Loop trapped themself for years on the final floor, locking themself out of progress that might lie further back, so they’re ensuring Siffrin knows exactly how to loop forwards and backwards so it doesn’t happen again.
Loop lets Siffrin keep equipment across loops to cut down on time spent doing the exact same thing over and over.
They are saving Siffrin time, and they are giving Siffrin comfort. At every single turn, Loop is saving Siffrin from the same pitfalls they fell into without anyone to guide them out.
It's honestly incredible to transform an increase in skill into an actual narrative element. Yes, SASASAP sucks more to play. But ISAT sucks less, because Loop wants it to. It's the perfect marriage of real world circumstance and storytelling. I could... probably pull another comparison here, saying it's like a game and its remake - overhauled graphics, expanded story, and loads and loads of QoL, because the makers of the remake realized something. They love the original, but parts of it do suck, and there's so much that can be done to make a new player's experience smoother. Metanarrative commentary,,,, woah,,,,,
Every single one of these QoL elements I’ve mentioned function as a crutch for a player’s failing memory, but also Siffrin’s (similar to what I talked about in my previous essay on ISAT’s ludonarrative - the player and Siffrin are always in sync, even in how tutorials benefit them). Loop doesn’t know the player exists though (only the Change God does), so they do everything for Siffrin.
To keep Siffrin from forgetting. To help Siffrin focus on what’s important. To make Siffrin’s journey just a little bit less miserable. Loop directly improves ISAT’s QoL. For you. For Siffrin.
From Loop’s introduction:
Loop: “See, I’m useful! I’m very useful! That’s why I’m here, helpful Loop.” Siffrin: “Why are you helping me?” Loop: “…” Loop: “Because I think you should be helped.” Loop: “I won’t always have the answers, but… I think having someone on your side to talk to is better than dealing with this alone.” Loop: “Right?”
From Loop’s hangout:
“But it’s fine.” “Whether you believe me or not, I’m here to help you.” “So you can escape this loop.”
And finally, from the start of ACT 3:
Siffrin: “Are you really here to help me?” Loop: “Stardust…” Loop: “…” Loop: “Yes.” Loop: “If you can believe anything, believe that.” Loop: “I asked to be here, so I could help you.”
And I do believe them. Loop’s feelings on Siffrin are… complex, to say the least. They love Siffrin, and they hate him in equal measure. They’re jealous, and spiteful, but underneath everything…
In SASASAP, if you die to a Sadness thrice, you get this monologue:
(Sometimes, when you loop back here…) (In the corner of your eye, you can sometimes see someone that looks just like you.) (Is it a you from another loop? Remnants of your past failures?) (Are you going crazy?) (May they succeed where you cannot.)
#feli speaks#in stars and time#isat spoilers#start again: a prologue#sasasap#LOOP TIME BABEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#WATCH OUT IT'S FELI TALKING ABOUT LUDONARRATIVE AGAIN
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David Gaider: "It occurs to me, after reading posts getting it spectacularly wrong, that there are a lot of misconceptions over how game studios organize and, in particular, who makes the actual decisions about what ends up in your game. Much of it is by folks who don't *try* to get it... but not all, surely. I'll explain it a bit, but a big caveat: I'm going to talk in generalities and roles. Actual titles vary (a lot) from studio and studio, and the bigger a studio is the more segmented their departments (and thus management) is going to be. Even so, most studios, big and small, kind of work the same. To start, you're going to break your devs up into at least three groups: design (what is the game? how does it work?), art (what will it look like?), and engineering (making it go). There can be a lot of cross-over and some departments that don't fit into a project structure (QA, Marketing, etc.)"
Rest of post under cut due to length.
"There's going to be someone in charge of these groups - these are usually called "leads" or "senior leads". The actual title varies. The Design Lead could be a Lead Designer, for instance, or it could be a Creative Director and a Lead Designer is what they call someone further down the chain."
"These leads all report to a Project Director, someone who's job it is to manage the project as a whole. Now, this part gets a little dicey. Depending on the studio, this role can be anything from more production-oriented (they control the schedule) to an outright auteur who micro-manages everything."
"More importantly, it's the PD who hands down the project goals to the Leads: the strategic goals, the needed features, the shape of it all, etc. The Leads then figure out how their department is going to tackle those, and work with each other. If the Leads conflict, it's the PD's role to solve it. How much autonomy or ownership those Leads have is, like I said, really up to the individual PD and that studio's culture. Even in the case of a PD who has a lot of authority over the project, however, they still report to the studio leadership (unless it's the same person, like in a small studio)."
"The studio leadership is going to be giving the PD their marching orders, often in the form of those strategic goals. If there's a publisher involved, that's where the studio leadership is likely getting those goals. The PD, then, ends up being the person who has to negotiate with everyone above."
"What does this mean? If the studio or publisher has concerns about the project, they're calling in the PD to explain. If the project needs more time or resources, it's on the PD to explain to them why and how and when. If there are a lot of layers above the PD... yes, it's a looot of meetings. So while the PD is managing up, the Leads are managing down. With big projects, that means managing the "sub-leads"... those in charge of the individual sections of their department. It'd be unmanageable otherwise, and the bigger the project the more of these there are going to be."
"What does this mean? Well, let's look at the way BioWare broke up Design (as of 8 years ago, anyhow). Design consisted of Narrative Design, Level Design, Systems Design, Gameplay Design, and Cinematic Design (who worked in tandem with Cinematic Animation, which actually fell under the Art Lead)."
"The sub-leads are handed their goals by the lead, and work out how they're going to produce their particular corner of the game and also, more importantly, how they're going to work with each other. Conflicts between sub-leads are handled by the lead, as are ANY conflicts with other departments. What conflicts could there be, you ask? Dependencies, for one. "I can't do X until Y is done, but Y is someone else's job". Or scope. "We need 20 doodads but the sub-lead said they only have time to make 10, what now?". Even outright differences in vision. Big projects means room for a LOT of egos. If you think this is easier with a smaller (or indie) project, the answer is "yes, but not really". The roles are still necessary but often get combined into one person. Or outsourced, and someone still needs to manage the outsourcing. Things fall off over-full plates. It's a different kind of hard. Anyhow, the point of all this is: the further you go down the chain, the smaller the box you can play in is. The less you have actual say over, and even then that say is subject to being overridden by ANYONE above... and must still play nicely with the needs and goals of the other departments. You also need to keep in mind that projects are constantly in flux. Problems that were thought solved need re-solving. The team falls behind schedule and scope needs to change. You are constantly in a dance, within your tiny box, trying to figure out sub-optimal solutions that cause the least pain. And there will be pain. Shit rolls downhill, as they say, and when the project encounters big issues that means those high up have the sad job of figuring out how to spread it out and who can afford to take the hardest hit. If you're that one, you take it on the chin and you deal. This is the job. Lastly, I'll re-iterate: not every studio works this way, exactly. The roles exist, sure, but are not divided up so neatly or as easily identifiable. Even so, this should give you an idea what "lead" and "sub-lead" mean... and perhaps help you imagine what it's like existing further down the chain."
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