#and drives the rest of the family nuts because they never fight

[jamneuromain]

Stalker Lady pt. 1

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader (You)

Word Count: ~1.5k

Warning: Mean!Simon Riley, Voice (PORN) actor!Simon Riley, patron!reader, neighbor!AU, description of audio porn and stalking behavior. bad language word people we're talking about audio porn here

Summary: You meet Simon unexpectedly. Unfortunately, he thinks you are a stalker.

A/N: This fic is my rehab-going-back-into-writing fic. And it's the first time I'm writing for "Ghost" I've honestly never played COD. But here's my idea of the scary (not really lol) simon ghost riley :3

After enduring your rented noisy flat for nearly six months, the construction of your new house is finally completed, which is a total relief. You now have a house of your own.

It’s a small place in the suburbs, with a handful of neighbors on the same block, and a decent lawn that you need not pay too much attention to besides mowing occasionally. More importantly, the quietness.

You’ve settled for this house because of the friendly neighbors and the quietness around the place. Most houses are properly wrapped up in thick walls and heavy planks so no noises would escape. The only sounds that constantly appear from outside of the window are the birds chirping and the laughs and talks from family and friends.

This.

This is the perfect place for you.

You met the Pinewood Residential Community Committee (Really? A community committee? You could be in tears) the day you moved in. A group of five that consisted of three of the actual committee and two of your neighbors. The house to your right lives a delightful family whose wife Sarah came to visit and brought you homemade cookies. The house to your left harbors a tall silent man called Simon who has dark circles under his eyes (You doubt the house was enough for him because he looked like a Tall-nut that could poke through the roof). Most of the time he just nodded to whatever the rest of them were chatting about. He gave you a brand-new Bluetooth speaker about the size of your palm, saying that it might come in handy if you want to play music without carrying your phone around the house.

You were grateful.

For the committee. For the friendly neighbors. For the speaker, even.

Until the day you decide to try this speaker out.

Present day, today, this very hour, you have been fighting with this unruly speaker.

You have pushed buttons. Connecting it to the charger and unplugged it twice. Flipped the on/off switch. Turned the volume thingy at the top to the maximum. Turned up the phone volume, too.

Nothing.

No sound coming out.

While your phone mocks at you by showing you that you have already connected it and no sound is coming out.

You googled, searched, and tried reading the instructions, but nothing helped.

You sigh. Snatch the speaker and the small piece of paper with instructions and head to your neighbor’s place.

Simon is just finishing up his work for today.

It’s not a job, per se, but trades his time and patience for some of the allowances.

Actually, scratch that, he has been making more from this not-job job than spending time in the military, which says something.

He has been considering making this job a little permanent, aside from his part-time work to deliver posts and mails.

He starts the day early, driving his van to the local post office, loading the bunch of stuff onto his backseat, and finishing driving around the blocks at around 1 pm. Works a little on his side job, goes to bed at 9 or 10, simple as that.

He leaves the recording room of his house, only pausing his steps to the showers when he hears something coming from his living room…?

He heads back to the recording room, making sure his laptop is turned off, his phone is on airplane mode (which has stayed that way for a while, he must add, to prevent it from interrupting his recording), and his iPad certainly has not connected to his Bluetooth. Which is … odd?

Because why is one of his recordings playing on his Bluetooth speaker?

Simon winces at his own grunts and moans from the speaker. He’s not particularly proud of it, okay, that he is a member of an audio porn production team. He takes time recording himself reading various scripts of monologues that end up taking the imaginative figure of a woman to bed.

Yes, he records himself twice a week.

Yes, he makes male-for-female porn.

Yes, he never shows his face and has a silly stage name called “Ghost”.

Yes, he does (very occasionally) custom-made fan audio for those generous patrons.

Yes, this is a custom-made audio playing on his Bluetooth – wait what?

A few soft knocks land on his door before he can comprehend what mystical force is toying with his speaker.

“Brilliant.” He grumbles to himself under his breath, “Fucking brilliant.”

Now he has another thing to tend to besides figuring out his haunted speaker.

He turns the volume down, shoving the small gadget into the sofa cushions before it can be haunted again.

Opening the door.

And there you are.

“Oh! Um, hi!” You are stepping down the porch, thinking that he must be busy, but the noise of the locks startles you a little, turn around to see your neighbor Simon, “Hi, I live next door. Uh, I moved here about a week ago?”

Cute.

He thinks to himself.

Technically, his first impression was supposed to be a week ago when he visited your place for the first time, but he missed his nap time so the thirty minutes spent there consisted of him keeping himself awake – hardly, more like keeping his head straight and eyes open, which he failed, for at least a dozen times or so.

Rude. He knows. But he is not the kind of social butterfly either, so you kinda get what you deserve by moving in next to him.

“Yeah.” He grunts, his mind still on the fucking Bluetooth, “Wha’d you need, luv?”

“I think this speaker is … I don’t know what’s wrong with it, it just … no sound coming out of it.” You chew on your lower lip sheepishly, “Would you mind helping out, please?”

“Tried to dial the volume on your phone louder?” He raised his eyebrows at you.

“Yeah, I did, I-” You fumble with your phone, giving him a moment to look at the speaker under your arm.

One glance at the Bluetooth speaker in your hand, same brand, same model, but different color, connects the dots for Simon in his mind.

It is obvious as daylight that you accidentally connected to his speaker.

“I’ll try turn it up-” You push the buttons on the side of your phone, turning the volume up to the loudest.

And a guttural groan comes from his couch.

“Fuckin’ hell, sweet’art.” His couch moans loudly, “You’re killin’ me with that sweet cunny-”

Simon acts quickly, yanks you inside the house by the arm, and slams the door shut.

“That’s my speaker.” He says, quietly.

Your stupid fingers finally manage to turn the volume down. You completely forgot about the audio playing on your phone – your favorite audio, the one you have listened to and cummed to for at least a handful of times. Your face instantly goes aflame. You were planning some quality time with your toy, but not this! You are not connecting to your neighbor’s speaker and standing at his doorstep!

The deadly silence is eating you up.

“Um. Guess it’s not … wrong?” You let out a dry chuckle, your mind a puddle of jellyfish that zaps your neurons into firing the wrong sparks, “I’ll, um, go upstairs – my home, my place, I mean. Thank you for tonight.” Your face scrunches together out of sheer embarrassment.

His iron grasp on your arm is unwavering.

He has some patrons online, but the fact that you are one of them and live next door is … a bit too much of a coincidence.

“You a stalker or wha’?” He growls at you. His eyes flash a dangerous glint as he recalls what had happened to one of his friends, John, with the stage name “Soap”. Soap works with Simon in the small group of audio porn production called “Team 141”. Soap was careless about his whereabouts, leading to a crazy woman piecing together information and ambushing him when he gets home from his day job.

“Wha- what?” You sound completely baffled. “What are you even talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb, sweet’art. Doesn’t work like ‘at.” Simon eyes at the now-silent speaker on his couch, before returning his gaze to your startled expression, which is indeed fright, but for different reasons than he’d think of – the fear of being found that you stalked to his house. “Peachy? Peach? ‘s that your Discord name? Coz this is a specialized piece, custom-made. An’ I made it myself.”

Your eyes widen at the confession. Your Discord name is indeed, Peachyyy,with two extra Y, and it hits you that this man you are confronting, who is confronting you, might be the one who sent this audio as a special gift to you, their patron.

Every patron for the Team 141 could designate a voice actor for their custom-made audio. When you were notified that you could also participate in deciding the actor of the audio, without a second to stop and think, you chose your favorite one of “Team 141”.

“Ghost”.

Simon “Ghost” Riley let out a cold smirk. He believes he has this all figured out.

“I won’t report you. Not yet. But if I find you ten feet within my vicin’ty,” His teeth bared, sharp canines ready to rip something apart, throat rumbling like a true animal, “I’ll get your pretty arse locked up and thrown into jail. Run along now, stalker lady.”

Monster! You shriek. Or perhaps that’s a pitiful whimper under his massive shadow, and flee from his grasp.

Part 2

[i-restuff]

yow! Here's the Official in-depth look at all the turtles by Nickelodeon themselves.

more descriptions below ;

Leo

Leo is your classic oldest sibling. He’s a little bit bossy, but he firmly believes he has everyone’s best interest at heart! As the oldest, Leo considers himself the leader of the brothers. He loves his family more than anything, and is willing to go to great lengths to protect them. Leo is deeply devoted to Splinter’s teachings, and encourages his brothers to follow all of Splinter’s rules to a T. Leo can be a bit more serious than the rest of his brothers, which sometimes (believe it or not) annoys Raph, Mikey and Donnie. But at the end of the day, he loves to joke around with the crew too - especially if they don’t break any rules in the process!

When Leo meets April O’Neil, things change in a big way. Before meeting April, Leo was content to live in the shadows and stick to the rules that Splinter laid out for him and his brothers, the most important being avoiding humans at all costs. But after meeting April, Leo is willing to bend those rules - especially if it means spending more time with her.

FAST FACTS ABOUT LEO:

Leo (aka Leonardo) is the oldest of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Leo is played by Nicolas Cantu in the Mutant Mayhem movie.

Leo in Love? Pssst, can you keep a secret?! Leo has a HUGE crush on April O’Neil, the Turtles’ human friend! April is voiced by Ayo Edebiri.

Namesake: Leonardo Davinci! Davinci was a true Renaissance man, and a highly skilled painter, inventor, sculptor, and more. He’s best known for painting the world-famous Mona Lisa.

Weapon of Choice: Katanas. Leo is a highly skilled swordsman!

Ninja Turtle Color: Blue. Each of the brothers have a different color mask, so it’s a great way to tell them apart if you get confused!

Most Likely To: be the brother making the plan! Leo is great at strategy and always thinking ten steps ahead.

Describe Leo in three words: Disciplined, Hardworking, and Respectful.

Raph

Meet Raph, aka Raphael! He’s always ready for a fight, and ALWAYS ready to lay it all on the line for his brothers. Raph never shies away from his enemies, and is definitely an act first, think later kinda Turtle. He’s a bit of a hot head - you could say he’s always seeing red (and not just because of his red eye mask!) Generally speaking, Raph is one tough turtle - but he’s got a soft spot in his shell for his beloved bros.

Raph may be the best fighter of the bunch. He’s got some serious ninja skills, but doesn’t have a whole lot of stealth going on. Raph is also a true master of the sai… let’s just say you wouldn’t want to find yourself in a fight with this guy.

FAST FACTS ABOUT RAPH:

Raph (aka Raphael) is the second oldest of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Raph is played by Brady Noon in the Mutant Mayhem movie.

Namesake: Raph is named after Raphael, a 16th-century Italian painter. Kinda weird fun fact? The painter Raphael had serious Renaissance era beef with the painter Michaelangelo, who Raph’s brother Mikey is named after!

Weapon of Choice: Sai, or special Ninja weapons that are like swords you wear as gloves! He’s also in general, a very good fighter (with or without his Sai).

Ninja Turtle Color: Red! Each brother has their own color mask.

Most Likely To: Act first, think later! Raph is known to be a little bit of a hot-head, and often dives headfirst into action without making a plan. This, believe it or not, drives Leo NUTS!

Describe Raph in three words: Passionate, Tough, Protective.

Donnie

Donatello, aka Donnie, is your classic middle child. He may be younger than Leo and Raph, but everyone knows he’s got the smarts. Donnie is brilliant with a super-sharp wit, and can be a bit sarcastic. He’s a true asset to the Turtle team, thanks to his ability to always see a few steps ahead of everyone else. Leo may be the man with the plan, but Donnie is the man pointing out the holes in the plan - whether or not his brothers want to hear them.

Donnie's weapon of choice is a bo staff, which he can twirl and bash around with serious skill. He’s got a razor-sharp ability to analyze his opponents and know what their next move might be - something that comes in handy in the heat of a big battle!

When Donnie isn’t helping his brothers save the day, he likes to unwind with the finer things in life: video games, anime, and of course, K-Pop!

FAST FACTS ABOUT DONNIE

Donnie (aka Donatello) is the second youngest of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That makes Leo and Raph his older brothers, and Mikey the youngest.

Don is voiced by Micah Abbey in the Mutant Mayhem movie.

Namesake: Donnie is named after Donatello, a 15th century Italian sculptor best known for his ability to make his sculptures look insanely realistic! Donatello the sculptor is widely regarded as a genius, which fits Donnie well, since he’s sorta the brains of the brotherly operation.

Weapon of Choice: Bo Staff. You do not want to be stuck battling Donnie when he has a staff, hockey stick, giant pencil, or anything else remotely staff shaped.

Ninja Turtle Color: Purple! It compliments his shell, don’t you think?

Most Likely To: Have a favorite K-pop star.

Describe Donatello in three words: Brilliant, Inventive, Awkward.

Mikey

Mikey, aka Michelangelo, is the youngest and by far the funniest of the four brothers (his words, not ours.) Mikey is kinda the wild card of the bunch, and would almost always rather hang out and have a good time than train. He deeply respects Splinter’s teachings and his rules about humans, but Mikey can’t shake the feeling that humans would probably be more accepting of him and his brothers than his father expects.

While Mikey is an absolute legend when it comes to battling with the nunchaku, his true happy place is posting up with a large pizza and a super funny stand-up comedy special, not a ninja brawl. All he really wants to do is make people happy, so if he has to kick some mutant butt with his brothers along the way, so be it!

FAST FACTS ABOUT MIKEY

Mikey (aka Michelangelo) is the youngest brother out of all four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, aka the baby! But don’t tell him we said that.

Mikey is voiced by Shamon Brown Jr. in the Mutant Mayhem movie.

Ninja Turtle Color: Orange! As in, ORANGE you glad Mikey is here to save the day?

Most Likely To: Order a pizza to battle. What? Like he’s not gonna be hungry after fighting off bad guys and protecting life as we know it?

Namesake: Mikey is named after Michelangelo, one of the most famous Renaissance artists of all time! Michelangelo was a sculptor, painter, architect, and poet known best for iconic works of art like the David, the Sistine Chapel’s ceiling, and more.

Weapon of Choice: Nunchaku and a winning sense of humor.

Describe Mikey in Three Words: Ordering. A. Pizza.

[bonefall]

I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT MARSHSCAR????

Sure! He's a supporting character in Ripplestar's Rot, and becomes leader of ShadowClan after the Great Pancakening at the Battle of the Gathering.

I wrote about him and every leader post-Ripplestar over here

Marshpaw was a little older than Ripplekit when he was brought to the Clan, just newly apprenticed. Their apprenticeships overlapped and they were teenage friends.

Marsh has always been a sort of quiet dude, he's never been a go-getter. More of a steady, practical guy.

He was friends with Spottedpelt and Gorseclaw too, him and Gorse were the more "level headed" people in the group.

His first name was Marshtail. "Scar" is an Honor Title.

Him and Ripplemoon were young warriors when they became mates. Marshtail could tell you that he liked his passion and drive, but, it would be a half truth. He can't really pick anything in particular that is his favorite trait

He could spend a day stuck in a tree hole with him and it would be enjoyable. He just likes his vibe, he likes to be with him.

There's not much to say about him before the ending of Ripplestar's Rot, because he's a mild guy. His ideal life would have been being a background character who goes on patrol a lot lmao

But at the death of Ripplestar and Spottedpelt, suddenly he was thrust into power he NEVER wanted, in the middle of mourning the loss of his mate and his extended family, and the end of a war he'd given everything to.

His heart broken, he had to clean up what Ripplestar left behind. The other three leaders blamed ShadowClan for everything, and the war had taken a chunk out of the population.

Especially in ShadowClan, with a ton of their warriors being slaughtered at the Gathering. Because of Gorseclaw, they'd seen the attack coming and prepared by only bringing their strongest warriors.

In fury, Dalestar of WindClan and Birchstar of RiverClan exiled many of the outed rebels within their ranks

So, Marshstar was dealing with the other Clans baying for a severe punishment of ShadowClan, adding a flood of new commandments to the code, and also a political refugee crisis

This was a mess. An exhausting, painful mess

It didn't get better, either. No matter what Marshstar did, someone was going to be furious. He couldn't appease the other Clans while maintaining ShadowClan, so, they started exacting revenge by attacking constantly.

(And, mind you, this was the age of Kit Stealing and pillaging. These attacks were high-stakes)

Eventually he stopped apologizing or even negotiating at all. ShadowClan became a sort of secluded, defensive nut that shared very little news, and even skipped Gatherings a few times.

But even that didn't please his warriors. They wanted the Gatherings. They wanted their own revenge. Even as the population recovered, Marshstar refused to do anything else.

The rest of his life felt like he was just biding time. 9 long lives without Ripplestar felt like a curse.

He did do one thing though-- when Houndfang was young, she was a goddamn punk. Little rebel without a cause, the Clan used to be frustrated that she was given such a ferocious name; she could have used a name to calm her down instead :/

She reminded Marshstar of a casual discussion about warrior names he had with Ripplestar, once. About how he liked names that simply made sense, and didn't need to be defended with prose. A Hound and its Fangs

He took a shining to Houndkit, in his melancholic way. She liked bothering him, he wouldn't snap at her or push her away. He would even sometimes enable her-- telling her little tricks for sneaking past the big warriors or giving her advice on how to persuade them to do what she wanted.

So the habit only got "worse." She had absolutely no fear of him as an apprentice and would just announce her opinion to his face.

thinking about it, Marshstar probably took her as an apprentice towards the end of her time as Houndpaw, after getting in too many fights with her mentor and the mentor trying to appeal for a delay of her assessment until she learned respect.

"Hm. No. I don't want her spirit broken. I think the other Clans deserve some hell, actually."

Houndfang didn't have ambition as a kid, she didn't know what she wanted. Marshstar gave her an outlet and it became electricity in her veins.

She quickly took over the Clan when she became deputy, and was more of a leader than he ever was. He just let her start running it.

I feel like he cast his name off, just before he died. He did not want to be Marshstar, he wanted to return to Marshscar, so he held a renaming ceremony for himself and passed on leadership officially.

ShadowClan was reignited in a way it hadn't been in years when Houndstar took power. In the passionate cheering of the crowd, Marshscar slipped away.

No one ever saw him again after that. He was probably sick and went somewhere he could pass away in solitude. Cat behavior

His heart remained with Ripplestar for the entirety of his long life, and for him, it was a relief when it was finally over.

When he got to StarClan, they tried to put him on trial. He got frustrated shortly into it. Ripplestar and Spottedpelt are not here so Literally Why Should I Care?

And they're going to throw this big bombastic ballyhoo, why? To posture? For who? This is pointless and quite frankly embarassing.

He actually interrupted the court proceedings with an Excuse Me. I Don't Want This.

"Thank you for your time. This has been a waste of mine."

It's kind of funny to think that if Houndstar knew about what her mentor did here she would flip her shit at him lmao.

Honestly, he does not mind being in Hell. Like, at all. He'll follow Ripplestar wherever, but in Skypelt I can imagine him making occasional statements about missing the taste of bloodsap or something.

[ardathksheyna]

South Minneapolis in a nut-shell.

I miss South Minneapolis.

That picture is 100% mine. I took it while sitting in my laser blue straight-piped '06 Monte Carlo (it had the 3.9L V6) at the light at 2nd Avenue & East 36th Street—or maybe it was 35th? I can't remember which intersection but I know I was on my way to work because I frequently took 35W to the 3rd Street exit in the morning.

Fuck, I miss those days. This was a few weeks before my life to went to hell in a hand-basket. I think looking back at those times, the deal with ADHD brains not developing fully until mid 30s makes a lot of sense.

Welcome to Hell

That "hell in a hand-basket" deal was me realizing that the status quo of my life as it had been then could not continue. I was 38 years old, yet still thought of myself as 17 and thus still a kid—DESPITE having put myself through school and maintaining a career as a software engineer.

That status quo that I was talking about? Well, I made a decision in my early 20s that I now realize I did not have the adult experience necessary to make.

Long story short, I cosigned a mortgage with my father on a house in South Minneapolis—on Nicollet Avenue roughly a mile south of That Fucking K-Mart.

That was the biggest fuckup of my adult life. What it came down to is that I had to essentially commit financial seppuku to break that status quo.

The reason why I had to take such drastic lengths? Despite promises when we bought the house, dad decided that he didn't want to sell even if I moved out. If I moved in with my boyfriend, I was still on the hook for the mortgage—which meant that there would be no way for my boyfriend and I to build our own life.

What ended up happening was a lot of bad feeling and fighting back and forth not only between my dad and I, but my sisters as well. I was told that it was selfish of me to want to move out without providing for dad first.

When I repeated that line to my mostly male friends—here was their take: your father is a whole grown-ass man. He's able-bodied, and can fucking take care of himself.

After the last fight, I packed up my important shit, got in my car and left. On the drive to Forest Lake, I knew then that I was starting the rest of my life.

Looking back on it, I think if it hadn't been for both my friends and my boyfriend, I probably never would have had the courage to do what I did.

I realize now that all I had been doing up until that point was waiting for my family's permission to live my life and that is not a way to live at all.

The lesson learned from this is one that I'll pass on to anyone under the age of 30 being pressured by their parents to cosign loans for them.

Don't do it.

No, seriously.

Do not do it.

Why? You have no idea where your life is going, or who you'll meet and possibly want to spend the rest of your life with. Maybe you'll want kids, maybe you'll want to travel. You just never know.

The saga of my old pad in South Minneapolis is a long and drawn out one so I'll keep it short.

But I will say this. It does have a happy ending.

[the-unending-journey]

So I meant to add my own answer onto this yesterday (and reply to people) but then a severe headache + exhaustion happened. ANYWAY (going under a readmore because there's gonna be a lot)

Kiyo never really got to know her birth father, since he ended up getting killed trying to defend their hometown from the Garlean forces invading it. And then she ended up losing her birth mother to them later down the line when Kiyo was still pretty young.

She's mostly gotten to know her actual parents through her older brother, Ryunosuke, because he didn't want her growing up not knowing what amazing people they were. While their mother, Nobuko, was a bit of a troubled woman due to her past in Hingashi, she was still a gentle soul with strong convictions that made sure to instill the same into her children. It was also because of her that Kiyo gained a love for the healing arts

Kousuke, their father, was a big-hearted Doman country boy that actually came from a long line of samurai. While serving under some snooty lord for the rest of his life wasn't really for him, he did pledge to be a guardian of sorts to the little hometown he ended up settling down in (along with a small handful of others). He was never one to back down from a fight and would always protect those that couldn't protect themselves... which unfortunately is what cost him his life. Even still, he was the reason Ryu wanted to fall into his footsteps and learn the ways of the samurai and protect people

I still haven't fleshed out Lucinne's husband yet (other than being a simple tradesman and possibly even a bard), but as for Lucinne herself? She's kinda considered one of the other black sheeps of House Haillenarte, mostly because she just doesn't quite fit the whole image of being a stuckup noble like a good chunk of other Ishgardians. Mama Lucinne absolutely takes no shit from anyone, especially uppity whippersnappers thinking they can bully others just because they think they're important. And while she disagrees with a LOT of Ishgardian beliefs and culture, she does still have her pride as a knight and has no qualms about teaching others on what REAL knighthood is. She also has a big heart that's filled to the brim with love for people, especially her odd little family and friends

Kiyo has two older siblings (used to be three but... shit happens), though Ryu is the only one that's actually blood related to her. I don't want to go into a lot of detail since this is getting wordy as is, but he's extremely protective and dedicated to the very few people he holds dear. This is mostly his family and the love of his life, as he struggles with making actual friends due to his standoffish nature. Even still, if you manage to break through his walls, you'll have a loyal friend for eternity that WILL break someone's nose for you

Evianne was actually the first child Lucinne adopted before finding my lizard siblings. She's actually one of my girlfriend's OC's, so I can't really say much on her, other than she was one of the many orphans living in the Brume. If it hadn't been for Lucinne finding her, she would have died from sickness. Both her and Kiyo are selectively mute from their personal traumas, and is one of the reasons the two bonded quickly and are very close to each other. They have their own personal little sign language to speak to each other, which drives their brother nuts sometimes

Kiyo absolutely does her best to keep in touch with her mom and her siblings, especially when the WoL shenanigans start happening (hell Ryu has even joined her on some occasions to help with Scion business)

All in all, family is just as important to Kiyo as her friends are and she wouldn't change hers for the world

Still trying to crawl my way back into XIV so here's a simple WoL/OC question - their families! What are they like? Do they have any siblings? Are their parents still around? Are they still in touch? Just anything really

I'll add onto this with Kiyo's when I'm not trapped at work

[redheadjustin]

Ok

Edward x male reader x Jacob

So this is a little different because in this story they all go to the same school, which makes the vampire and werewolf fued even worse, the male reader is a new boy and as soon as Edward sees him the male reader becomes his mate and as soon as Jacob sees him he imprints on the reader (male reader is human) over the next couple of weeks they become his friend and they get very close and soon the reader learns who they really are.

they try to fight over him which leads to a big fight between all the vamps and werewolf's but the male reader fell in love with them both. You can pick an ending and please include a LOT of Bella bashing 😂 we don't like her. Lmao 🤣😂

Sometimes you question whether or not you pissed some deity off in a past life. It was easy to think this. You were new to Forks, Washington and if you knew what awaited you would have never agreed to move to Forks. You lived with your family in New York until your dad died. You were always a daddy’s boy. You were the one out of your three brothers to be a daddy’s boy. So, it wasn’t a surprise that you took your dad’s death the hardest. Your mom was considering devorce as your dad’s being in the military was hard on her, Not everyone can handle the deployments and being out of contact. You were the youngest of four kids and you were a surprise pregnancy. But, you were loved by your family, even if you weren’t planned. 

When your mom wanted to move back to her hometown you were against it. New York was home. It was where you were born, It was where your life was. But, considering your brothers were all grown and out of the nest, you didn’t have much of a choice. Your mom grew resentful towards you. She didn’t blame you for your dad’s death but you looked like an exact copy of your father and she couldn’t handle that. So, you held your tongue and followed your mom to Forks. Your mom got a job as an administrator at Forks hospital. You enrolled at Forks high school, unaware that you would become the mate of both a vampire and a shifter and would cause the rivalry between the two to get even worse.

Edward Cullen. A bronze haired male with looks that drive people nuts. Of course, no one knew the reason for his good looks and if they did know they’d run for the hills. You see, Edward Anthony Cullen was in fact not seventeen. Edward Anthony Cullen was born Edward Anthony Mason Jr. and was born on June 20, 1901; Chicago, Illinois. Now, you’re probably asking: how can someone born before television be around today, let alone look like they’re seventeen? The entire Cullen family are vampires. Yes, vampires. And they are not the only supernatural beings around. 

Jacob Black, Nearly the exact opposite of Edward. He is Edward’s rival. He loved Bella Swan and after Edward and the Cullens left a broken hearted Bella Swan behind after an accident at Bella’s birthday party. Jacob only hated vampires because he was told to hate them. And very few people knew that Jacob had an inferiority complex. He always felt he wasn’t ever good enough. He wasn’t good enough to save his mom, he wasn’t enough to keep his sisters from leaving, he wasn’t good enough to keep his dad from a wheelchair, he wasn’t good enough. And Bella choosing Edward over him only worsened it. 

Edward would never admit it but he felt sorry for Jacob. And while the mind reading vampire would never tell the shifter, he felt sorry for the young wolf. Edward had heard Jacob’s thoughts and knew Jacob truly loved Bella. And to have his heart broken the way it was, it made Edward feel guilty. Jacob felt similarly, He had no ill will towards Edward. The only reason he picked fights with the other Cullens was because the Cullens picked fights with the rest of the pack. But, the two would be brought together soon in a way that they once would think impossible

You met Edward on your first day of school. It was the first few days after Bella dumped him after she had been turned. Now, Edward could hear her thoughts after she became a vampire. She never loved him, she just used him and the Cullens to get what she wanted and then left him but remained in Forks. She still went to Forks high school and both the Cullens and pack hated her. The Cullens hated her because while she was NOT a part of the family she was represented as a Cullen so she would not be immediately hunted down by the pack. The pack hated Bella because of how badly she broke Jacob’s heart. The rivalry between the two groups was idioditc and many on both sides wanted to end it but because Rose and Isabella picked fights. Well, mostly Bella now since Rosalie knew what it was like for the love of your life to betray you.         

  You wanted to run. You hated this idea of your mother’s. You explained to her that you could graduate early and not have to deal with high school and you could attend college in Seattle. Your mom shot this idea down. She wanted you under her control. She believed that you were like your father and the first chance you got you’d get yourself killed. Oh, if only she knew. You felt trapped in your mom’s car as she drove you to school. She didn’t let you drive as she felt you’d skip and she was going to keep an eye on you. Hell or highwater. 

You were walking to your first class when you saw him. He looked like a movie star and you felt angry at all the lustful looks of the females of the student body. You didn’t know why, but you felt something in you that told you you needed to be with the bronze haired boy. The moment Edward looked at you, he knew and nearly jumped for joy as he found his mate. The mind reading vampire had no problem with his mate being a male. Edward’s long dead heart broke when he heard your thoughts. He was already organizing how to get you to live with the Cullens. He kept his distance till lunch. 

You were sitting outside as you wanted to stop yourself from making friends as you were just biding your time till you graduated. If your mom didn’t hold you back. You sighed to yourself as you saw the boy from the hallway walk towards you. He was hot. You already had a crush on the copper haired boy and you’d only seen him once. As Edward sat down next to you he inhaled your scent. It was intoxicating but not in the same way Bella’s was. He did not want to drink your blood. Edward would rather throw himself into fire before drinking your blood. As Edward sat down he saw the cuts on your arms and his dead heart broke even more. The copper haired vampire had seen a lot in his time. And thanks to Carlisle Edward knew what self harm looked like.

“What are you doing out here all alone? There’s a full cafeteria of people gossiping about you.” Edward asked playfully and you cracked a small smile. If it weren’t for Edward’s vampire sight he wouldn’t have seen it. “I’m just here biding my time till graduation. Mom thinks I'll get myself killed.” You said, not knowing why you felt like opening up to the boy besides you. 

“And why’s that?” Edward asked but he knew why. He knew your mom resented you heavily for looking like your father. “She thinks I’m just like my father. She thinks I’m going to do something reckless and get myself killed.” You could not help the bitterness that seeped into your voice. You had made it a point to be the least reckless of the four children your parents had. “Can I ask how he died?” Edward asked, but he knew how your dad died, he knew almost everything about you. You told him. You opened up about your dad’s death and your TRUE feelings about your father’s death. You don’t know why you did but you felt safe with this boy. You didn’t even know his name. Edward heard your thoughts and smiled as introduced himself.

“I’m Edward, Edward Cullen.” you smiled as you introduced yourself and Edward was all smiles the rest of the day. It was weeks later when you met Jacob Black. Jacob hadn’t been at school when you started due to the death of Billy Black and Harry Clearwater at the hands of Victoria. Jacob had been quickly taken in by the cullens. You were aware of the Cullens being vampires as you saw Edward and Emmett drinking from a deer. And Edward told you about being mates. 

It had been about a month and a half since you met Edward. You were clutching your phone in your left hand and your car keys in your right. You had blood on your arms and you were severely hurt. You needed help and the only one you could think of was your mate. So, you dialed the number you knew the best.

“Hello Y/N, is everything alright?” Edward asked as it was nearing twelve AM and you were usually asleep by eleven PM. “H-hey E-eddie, um, I need some help.” You tried to keep your voice even but it was no use, Edward knew something was wrong. You could hear rushing and the rattle of car keys. “I’m on my way Y/N, what happened?” your heart dropped hearing the worried tone in Edwards voice. “Mom and I had a fight…then all of a sudden Bella jumped through the window and killed mom and drank her blood and ran off…I’m bleeding…she cut me with the glass.” You could hear growling through the phone. “Y/N, I’m sending Jacob to you till I get thare…be safe my love.” and with that the phone went dead and you tried to process Edward’s last words. Jacob was coming. You wished that you would meet the wolf Cullen under better circumstances. You don’t know how long it was till you felt warm arms wrap around you. 

“Oh my God. Y/N? It’s me Jacob, can you look at me?” you complied and you instantly knew that you had two mates. Jacob must have known as well as you felt his arms slightly tighten around you. You were in shock. Your mom was just murdered by someone you didn’t even peg as a threat, You had a major bleed on your arm and to top it all off you have a second mate. “Don’t worry Y/N, Ed and I got you, you’re safe.” were the last words you heard before passing out.

You woke up the next morning in a bed you knew all too well, it was Edwards and you had two sets of arms around you and two sets of eyes on you as well. After Jacob and Edward explained what an imprint was and what it ment. They stayed by your side all day, helping you deal with Bella, your mom’s funeral, among other things. Finally, the three of you were laying in Edward’s bed again and just as you fell asleep you heard both of your mates speak at the same time.

“Go to sleep love, you’re safe with us.”

[sprinklesofktrash]

Help you out - n.jaemin

Pairings: Step Brother! Jaemin x fem reader

Warnings: infidelity, jealous! Jaemin, teasing, mentions of cum, dom! Jaemin, dom/sub reader, explicit language, Jaemin masturbating, cock riding, receiving head, giving head, just a whole lotta smut.

Word count: 3.4k

Summary: There’s no way you and your hot step brother can be together, it’s not possible. He has a girlfriend and you’re his step sister. But that doesn’t stop you two from having hot feelings for one another.

Ever since your mom married into the Na family, the air has been intense. Your mother always fights with your stepdad and it’s everyday fighting. Not a day goes by when the house is quiet.

When things go well, it’ll never last that long. Your mother always has something to argue about and your stepbrother does even help.

He’s always bringing his girlfriend over and god all those screaming coming from that small mouth of hers. All those moaning and bed frames hitting the walls drive you nuts.

You’re not jealous but you are.

Also the day your mother got married into this company, you have slight feelings for Jaemin. It’s wrong because he’s your stepbrother.

Ever since he’s got a girlfriend, those feelings faded because you know you’ll never have a chance.

It was a hot summer day, you were getting bored coup up in your room so you change into your bathing suit to get some sun by the pool and maybe swim.

When you head outside, you saw Jaemin playing basketball with his regular friends. You are in eye contact with Jaemin but you rolled your eyes at him.

“Oh hey y/n!” his friend Renjun waved. You wave back. Jaemin and his group of friends are alike, they flirt and they mess around with girls. They’re all suitable for one another. Except for Renjun, he’s got a brain.

They all stop playing basketball when you remove the towel around your chest. “You look hot!” Jaehyun yelled. You stick the middle finger at him, earning laughter from the others.

Jaehyun’s always a flirt. Sometimes you’ll fall for it because he’s so handsome. Other times, you’d flirt back to tease him.

“Do you want me to put lotion for you?” Jeno asks. You shake your head, “No thanks” you lay spray on the sunscreen all over your body and lay over the towel.

“Come on” Jaemin got frustrated at his friends. They all exchange laughs and continue playing.

You put on your earphones to block out any more comments coming from them and close your eyes as you peacefully enjoy the summer air.

Jaemin and his friends finished playing basketball since it was getting too hot for them to continue. They all rested against the metal fence, drinking water to hydrate themselves.

“Yo! We should throw y/n in the pool!” Jeno says. Jaehyun smirk. “I like it!” He agreed.

“I don’t think she’ll like that” Renjun says as plays with the basketball in his hands.

Jaemin didn’t like the idea but he wouldn’t mind seeing you wet.

“Chill Renjun, we didn’t ask you to join” Jeno scoff. Jeno and Jaehyun creep their way to where you were laying. Jeno made a sign to Jaehyun which he understand quickly.

Jaemin and Renjun came shortly after Jeno and Jaehyun. Renjun didn’t want to get in trouble so he stayed on the side. Jaemin sat down on the lawn chair and watch the two pull the stunt.

Jeno and Jaehyun grab one each one of your arms and legs and threw you into the pool. You scream midair and sink down into the pool.

“Don’t worry y/n! I’ll save you!” Jaehyun said as he take off his shirt and dive into the pool. He grabs your waist and helps you back to the surface.

You gasp for air and wipe your face. You push Jaehyun away from you, “get away bozo! I know how to swim!” Jaehyun laughs as he pushes his hair out.

You look at Jeno who was waving at you. You saw Jaemin who was just staring at you amusingly. “Why don’t you get out of the pool love?” Jeno said seductively.

“Why don’t you get in the pool, love?” You copied him. Jeno laughs as he takes off his shirt and jumps right in.

You felt him grab your legs from under the pool. You giggle as he pulls you under the water. You kick him and swim back up.

“Don’t touch her!” Jaehyun splashes the water at Jeno. Jeno hisses and splashes him back. The two of them kept going back and forth and they notice you laughing, they started splashing.

Jaemin felt anger build inside of him, seeing you laughing with his friends when you don’t even crack a smile in front of him. Jaemin felt jealous.

He got up and left to go into his room. He angrily walks into his shower and rinses the sweat off his body. He looks down at his hardened cock.

“Fuck!” He groans. He wraps his large hands over his throbbing cock and pumps himself.

He leans his head back as he closes his eyes, thinking about his girlfriend. But then, you came inside his head.

He groans. He pumps himself faster as your body in that tiny two-piece shows up in his head. How perfectly round your ass looks in that tiny the bottom part look.

“Fuck” he mutter. He wonders how much he wants to untie it and fuck you right in front of his friends.

Jaemin groan as he came all over the bathroom tiles. He breathes out and opens his eyes to look at his mess.

“Like this Jae?” You asked Jaehyun as he taught you how to play pool.

After you all had fun at the pool, you decided to chill in the basement playing pool, and eat pizza. Jaemin had joined you all.

“No baby like this” Jaehyun went behind you and lean over your back to help you set up your hands. You knew what he was doing, you smirk as you lean more down as your backside hit his crotch.

You heard a small moan coming from him. Jaehyun looks down at your face, he knows what you're doing.

Jaemin is witnessing all of this. He didn’t like the fact you were only in your bikini playing pool with his friends. Jaemin stands up and takes off his sweater.

“Put this on” his tone was demanding. Jaehyun moves away from you and looks at Jaemin in confusion.

“Why? It’s hot” you said. Jaemin got angry, he snatch the stick from your hands and handed you his sweater.

You glare at him and grab the sweater and put it on. You could smell his musky lotion. It was big on you too, you roll the sleeves up and continue playing the pool.

Later that night, you had fallen asleep on the couch. Jaemin walked his friends out to their cars. “Yo Jaehyun!” Jaemin called his friend out.

“I told you, you can go for anyone but my sister,” Jaemin said lowly. Jaehyun scoff and close his car door. He walks over to close the distance between the two.

“Why? Is it because you want her or because you're jealous?” Jaehyun whispered in Jaemin’s ear. Jaemin pushes Jaehyun with force making Jaehyun stumble back.

“Come on guys stop!” Jeno broke the two apart. Jeno told Jaehyun to get in the car and leave. Jeno look at Jaemin who was still angry.

“Come on, don’t pick a fight with someone who’s three years older than you, he’s just playing around” Jeno reassure Jaemin. Jaemin calms himself down.

“Okay?” Jeno asks one more time. Jaemin nodded. The two bid goodbyes as Jaemin went back inside to get you.

Jaemin sigh when he saw you sleeping. His sweater had gone up to your waist, showing your bikini. As much as he wanted to untie it he held himself back.

He picks up your sleeping body and takes you to your room. You open your eyes slightly, seeing Jaemin who was carrying you.

“Oh, you up” he looks down at you. He puts you down to your feet. “They all left?” You pout.

“Yeah because you fell asleep” Jaemin chuckles. You crack a smile.

‘There it is’ Jaemin said.

“Well then, goodnight Jaemin” you yawn as you make your way into your room to wash the chlorine out.

You look down at Jaemin’s sweater, debating or not you should wear it. It’s dirty. You groan and throw it in the dirty hamper. As much as you want to smell Jaemin’s sweater all night long, you have to remember he has a girlfriend.

“Jaemin, catch” you threw his sweater to him, he caught it perfectly.

“You didn’t have to give it back” he laughs. You shrug.

“It doesn’t smell like you anyways” you mutter and walk back to your room. Jaemin heard you.

You walk back to your room and go on your computer to do some online shopping. Then, the same sweater you threw at Jaemin hit your computer screen.

You look in the direction it was thrown. Jaemin was standing by the door, “I put extra of my cologne on it. Don’t suffocate” He smirk and walk away.

You smile and unfold his sweater. The cologne filled up your nose quickly. You laugh at yourself as you set it beside you.

The front door swung open as your mother's voice and your stepfather's voice echoed through the whole house.

You groan and shut your door. It didn’t even help so you put on your earphones to cancel out their arguments.

The next day, you find yourself in the jacuzzi to relax your muscles from the workout you did earlier. While you rest quietly, you heard shuffling in the back.

You open your eyes to look at the noise to see it was Jaemin. “You’re here” he sounded relieved. You nodded. You watch him take off his shirt leaving his shorts on and get inside the tub.

He sat across from you as you both awkwardly relaxed. You close your eyes and lean your head on the edge of the tub.

Jaemin watches the way the ends of your hair are wet as the steam of the hot water makes you sweat. He watches the droplet of sweat from your neck down to your breasts.

He looked down at his bulge. Are you fucking kidding me?! Now?

Jaemin practically groans. He got up and left the tub. You open your eyes again to see Jaemin leaving without a word.

“Where are you doing?” You ask. He looks back, “bathroom.”

You nodded and purse your lips. You don’t know why he’s always disappearing whenever you are around. Like the other day, he disappeared inside the house while you were in the pool.

He’s been acting strange. You weren’t sure why but you’re going to find out. You got out of the tub and wipe the access water. You creep your way to the bathroom he was occupied.

You crack the door open a bit to see him jerking himself off. You gasp quietly. Not at the fact he’s jerking off but at the size of his cock.

You gulped down your saliva as you felt your best getting wet. You push the door open, Jaemin jump to see you at the door.

“Y-y/n” he called your name in surprise. You walk over to him and kneel in front of him. You look at his cock and back at him.

“I want to help,” you said. Jaemin didn’t get the chance to respond when you wrap your small hand around his hardened cock and pump it.

He melts into your touch. He let out a moan. “You’re so hard” you watch how his foreskin slides back and forth.

“Because of you baby,” he moans. He looks down at you with hazy eyes. He runs his hands into your hair and pulls it to the bag.

“Suck it!” He demands. You open your mouth as he pushes your head into his cock. You gag as Jaemin moan grew louder.

He aids your head up and down. You groan at the fact you couldn’t go all the way down because his dick was too big.

“Fuck, I’ve always wanted this” Jaemin groans as he releases your hair. You didn’t stop. You kept deepthroating him and spit on his dick.

“You’re so nasty baby” Jaemin slurred as he felt he was about to cum. You gave him the last deep throat before he came inside of your mouth.

“Fuck” he grip the sink as he releases his cum. You remove your head from his cock as his cum drips down your mouth. You happily swallowed his cum.

“Hmm” he wipes the white liquid off your chin. You stand up and untie your bikini, strolling down in front of him. Jaemin watches your naked body in awe.

“Care for round two?” You asked. Jaemin breathes out and picks you up. He led you to the guest bedroom and shut the door with his foot.

He lay you on the bed and spread your legs. You look up at the ceiling as his lips kiss your folds. You gasp. It was a familiar but rare feeling. It’s been a while since you received ahead.

“You taste so good,” Jaemin said in between your fold as he roughly licks your cunt. Jaemin thumb made a circle around your clit to double the pressure for you.

“Ooo yes” you moan. Your back begins to arch as you massage your tits to keep your hands busy. Jaemin inserts two fingers and begins pumping them. He looks up at you as you breathe heavily.

“Oh my god, fuck yes” you moan. Jaemin smirks as he pumps faster. You look down at him, the two of you make eye contact.

“Jaemin, I’m going to cum” you moan but beg him to go faster. Jaemin understood and pump faster feeling the pressure built.

You started seeing stars in the ceiling and let go of that pressure. Your legs shake as you came. Jaemin slowed down and remove his finger. You even flinched when his finger left your cunt.

Jaemin got over you and stroke your face, your cheeks had turned red from the amount of time you hold in your orgasm.

“Is it wrong that I want to kiss you?” Jaemin asks softly. You look at him tiredly.

“What we’re doing is already wrong” you laugh. Jaemin smiles and leans in to kiss you.

For the first time, you get to taste how it is to kiss him. You melt into his kiss. Jaemin distracts you from the kiss as he inserts his dick inside of you, making the two of you moan.

“Your pussy is so fucking tight” Jaemin groaned as he thrust inside of you.

“Your dick is so hard inside this tight cunt” you bit your lips as you run circles down your cunt.

“It feels so good baby” Jaemin's head tilts back. You moan as you notice the vein on his neck. You lean in to kiss it. Jaemin moans as he pumps faster.

“Fuck, I want to see you ride this dick,” Jaemin says as he switches the position. You giggle as you help Jaemin out his dick back in once you are on top.

You moan as you take his cock whole, pushing your whole weight down to his cock. Your hands hold on his thighs as you rock yourself back and forth, feeling his tip hit your stomach.

“Fuck yes” Jaemin breathes out as he watches you ride his cock. You had enough of your teasing as you lean toward and begin to rock your hips fast.

Jaemin’s moan got louder as he grabbed your waist and pump himself faster. The two of you move in sync.

“Hell yes, just like that Jaemin” you called out his name which made him hungrier for you.

You look down at him, “tell me my pussy is better than your girlfriend’s.” Jaemin eyes roll back as you rock your body back and forth again.

“Yours is so much better baby” he groans. You smirk as you lean down to kiss him.

Jaemin switches the position. Jaemin sat at the edge of the bed as you sit on top of his lap.

You reinsert his dick as you ride him again. Jaemin kisses your nipples and looks up at you as you ride him. Jaemin slaps your ass making you moan.

“Do you know how much I want to fuck you right in front of my friends?” Jaemin whispered in your ears. You groan. “Badly?” You answered. Jaemin got mad as he lay on his back and begin to pump his dick inside of you.

“I’m going to fuck your cunt so hard, it’ll be hard for you to seat” Jaemin whispered.

“Fuck he’s Jaemin” you moan into his ear as your hands grab a handful of the mattress sheet.

Jaemin growl as he slaps your ass a few times. “Slap my ass like that baby” you beg. Jaemin kisses your neck as he slaps your ass harder.

“Fuck cum all over this dick, I want to feel you” Jaemin beg as he know you were coming close.

“I’m going to fuck you so deep, so my juice stays inside of you” Jaemin breathed. You shut your eyes as you were coming close.

“Fuck I’m coming, I’m coming” you clench your walls and release around him.

Jaemin flips you around and pulls you to the edge of the bed. You stick your ass out and put your legs together. Jaemin dives back inside of you feeling the tightness of your cunt.

“Ugh” He groans as he grips your waist tighter and takes two deep thrusts and releases his juice deep inside of you.

“Fucckkk” Jaemin groans as his body lay on your back, tiredly.

Jaemin flinch as he felt you clench around him. The two of you stay the way you were, breathing heavily.

You felt your cunt area throbbing from the friction of his big cock. Jaemin got up and remove his dick from inside of you. He watches his cum drips down to your thigh.

“Fuck, look at all those cum” He looks at it in awe.

“Are you going to keep staring at it or are you going to help me wipe it?” You said. Jaemin laughs as he looks for a towel. He wipes the cum dripping down your thigh and gently wipes the cum from your cunt.

You hiss as the towel touches your cunt. “Sorry, does it hurt?” Jaemin looks at you. You nodded. Jaemin wipe it more gently and made sure there was no more before wiping his own cock.

“Y/n?!“ you heard your mother call you. You and Jaemin gasp as you both get dressed.

“Y-yeah?” You answered.

“Are you in the jacuzzi?” She asks from the stairs. You threw Jaemin his brief.

“Yeah” you called back.

“Is Jaemin with you?” She asks. Jaemin nodded.

“He fell asleep, what’s up?” You ask.

“Can the two of you come to the living room?” Your mother asks. Your eyes were so wide open, it feels like it’s going to pop out.

“Okay!“ your mother close the door.

“Do you think they heard us?” You ask in panic.

“I hope not but we were loud” you could almost hit Jaemin. He’s never helpful.

“No shit you dimwit were they home this whole time?!” You ask Jaemin as you try to make your hair wet again.

“No, when I came down here no one was home” Jaemin confirm. You nodded as you wrap the towel around your chest and the two of you went upstairs to the living room.

Your mother and your stepfather sat next to each other. The air was so suspenseful, you almost want to back out. You and Jaemin sat on the chair across from them.

The two of you exchange eye contact and Jaemin’s eyes are telling you to calm down. You nodded softly.

“This will be hard to process but we’re getting a divorce” your mom sigh. She looks at the two of you for answers.

You couldn’t say anything. You were sure if you should jump up and down or say congrats.

“Oh wow” Is what you decide to say.

“It’s not working out,” your stepfather says. You nodded. Jaemin stayed in silence.

“If you guys need to talk, just let me know. I’m all ears” your mother says. The two of you nodded.

“If it’s alright with you, can I go hit the shower?” You laugh nervously at this whole situation. They were bound for a divorce, from the way they’ve been fighting all the time.

Jaemin followed behind you and before you could open your bedroom door Jaemin stop you. You turn around to look at him, he looks at your eyes and lips and smashes his lips into yours.

He pulls away a few seconds later, “does this mean we can be together?” He asks.

You look down at your hand which was in his hand. You smile at it and then at him, “you’re going to have to do something about your little girlfriend though” you smile.

Jaemin nodded as you lean in to kiss his cheek.

[autisticsupervillain]

Dark Guardian AU.

Danny Fenton walks home confidently after his first encounter with The Lunch Lady, only to find Skulktech 9.9 waiting for him when he gets home. Danny gets swatted asidd like a fly when he tries to fight them and is inches away from death when he's suddenly saved by a ghost with a billowing white cape. After brutally taking Skulktech apart, Danny's savior introduces himself as Danny's future self.

Dan explains that one of his enemies, Clockwork, has begun sending future versions of Danny's enemies into the past to eliminate him, so Dan has to protect Danny from them until he gets strong enough to face these enemies himself.

Danny is initially estatic to have a cool older self as a mentor, but that dries up quick when it becomes clear that Dan can barely keep up the pretense of not being a blood thirsty maniac and that his future self has all but entirely forgotten what it's like to be human. As such, while Dan fights of future enemies sent by Clockwork and gives Danny vague "I can't risk altering the future but..." advice, Danny works on bringing Dan back down to Earth. Mostly by dragging him to school and having him hang out with Sam and Tucker. Over time, Sam and Tucker's view Dan goes from "scary, vaguely evil future Danny" to "feral, grumpy Danny who sucks at Doomed and forgets humans need to breath".

While Dan refuses to fight Danny's past enemies for him for fear of stifling his development, he makes semi-exeption for Vlad." He won't help stop Vlad's schemes aside from vague tips, but he will fly over to Wisconsin to kick his ass when he gets bored. Vlad is very much terrified of this mysterious older Phantom who shows up at random times to beat him up, trash his house, and leave, mostly because he has no idea why he's so strong or who he could be. Vlad has resorted to asking Jack vaguely probing questions about wether he's half ghost and has a secret sadistic side. It helps that Vlad and Fright Knight actually take some minimum amount of effort for Dan to best, unlike the rest of the past rogues, who can't even hurt him. It gives Vlad hope that he could overcome this new foe and gives Dan a means of entertainment.

Initially, Amity Park views Dan as a secret transformation Phantom has for when he needs to take a fight seriously, but they later come to see him as Phantom's grumpy older brother who comes to bail out his older sibling whenever he gets in over his head. Naturally, everyone thinks he's hot and it drives Danny nuts.

And, when Danny defeats the Ghost King, Dan realizes that he's not only proud of Danny, but he's actually grown to care about him. When the CAT rolls around, Dan finds he can't stand to lose the family he's grown to care about again and he heroically saves everyone from the Nasty Burger explosion. Now only existing thanks to the Time Medallion he used to travel back in the first place, Dan is greeted by Clockwork, who congratulates him on his rehabilitation.

"This was your plan from the beginning, wasn't it?"

"I saw all the ways this could have played out, but you made your own choices. Your future was never set in stone, Daniel. I look forward to seeing where it takes you."

Cue Dan being honest to Danny, Sam, and Tucker about his past and ultimately being accepted for redeeming himself.

[darke15]

Hello, Rhymieeeee!!! @rhymingtree

So sorry i took so long to reblog this, I remember reading it when you reacted and for some reason, I completely forgot to respond 😬

I'm so sorry this took so long 😭😭 but I've decided to procrastinate on all my other responsibilities and now here I am 🙃

Don’t be because I’ve apparently been sitting on this react for a month 😑

Ollie flashbacks are starting to drive me insane. Can't spend too long in a psychopath's brain without being driven into insanity yourself

Fr fr he’s driving me nuts too 

Also I have so many snacks rn so I'm wondering if I'll be crying with a mouthful of sandwich later on in the course of the chapter

Of course you will 😂

How Gonzalez saw everything before it happened and planned for it; he could only be blindsided if (F/N) was in harm’s way. How (F/N) would jump into a fight without a second thought and she wasn’t used to losing.

He could literally be blindsided so easily if you plan it right

And that’s exactly what happened 😈

The fact that Daniel Gonzalez is a fictional man hurts me to my core every day.

Same though 

“Your mission?” “Исправляем свою ошибку.”

I know the Soldier was probably told to say that, but I can hear Bucky's signature sass. Like him saying 'you fucked up and now I have to clean up your messes. You are so fucking annoying. Redheaded asshole.'

Novak gives the Soldier special permission to be sassy when he’s dealing with Oliver Walsh

Zac and Belov were practically slumped over a pair of computers that looked as though they were at least two decades old.

They're working on their Excel spreadsheets

I can hear the dial up internet noise 😂

Shadows danced in your peripheral, their ghostly voices whispered in your ear. They begged and pleaded and screamed for mercy. Their faces stretched into horrified cries. Their bodies marred and mangled by fire and riddled with oozing bullet wounds.

How the hell can anyone find their way back to being sane after all this…

They don’t. That’s the issue 😀

“You slept for over eighteen hours,” he said, pulling back with a low scoff, “How the hell did you manage to wake up cranky?” “I’m talented.”

Me to myself after one week of classes.

Fr fr 

But no honestly how am I so drained after just ONE week back it makes no sense

School suckssssssss 

How is she springing into work mode so quickly SHE ALMOST DIED FUCKIN' TAKE A BREAK

She doesn’t have timeeeeeeeee

GIRL DONT YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO HAMILTON WHEN HE DIDNT TAKE A BREAK

INFIDELITYYY

YOU DON'T SAY NO

Ohhhhhhhh 😈 interesting

well

she already didn't say no to Novak…

👀👀👀 that do be true. She cheatin’ on aftermath?

Ghost is genuinely insane. You know how I know?

She refused to take the nap offer

what kind of person says no to a nap??? In this economy??? Take the damn nap

Fr fr 😂

— “Danny?” you cried, your lungs closing in on themselves as you struggled to breathe, “Mi amor? I’m scared. Stay with me, please?” —

Darke I'm gonna fuckin kill you

Try it. See what happens 😀

WHY DO I ALWAYS FALL INTO THESE WITHOUT ANTICIPATING THE FUCKING FLASHBACKS

Idk you should know better by now 

— He smiled softly, pulling you against him and resting his chin on your head, “I love you.” —

DARKE

WHAT 

Had he misread Walsh from the beginning? Had they been marked for death from the moment he walked aboard their plane?

So many what-ifs of what their lives would be had it not been for Walsh

Ughhhhh got me thinking about more different universes and what everything would have turned out [weston bad guy arc? 👀]

What if there were more of him? What if more Hydra agents were littered among Aftermath’s ranks?

And background checks would be practically useless, because if Walsh had fooled them, anyone could

They’d all look like regular ppl. And the thing is, you wouldn’t be able to tell. If they’re a good Hydra agent [like Alexei and Melina’s family was in BW] you’d never be able to track them back to the source 

Also I don't think reading about people with these kinds of stress levels are helping me with my stress levels

Probably not 😀

“I’ve seen her worse. I’ve seen her better.”

That is now code for: she literally almost died but is still refusing to take naps like a petulant toddler.

We all know that Ghost becomes a child when she’s sleep deprived and hungry 

I keep forgetting that Wraith's reveal was still so recent timeline wise... god reading all this all over again is gonna hurt once it's all completed

Timeline wise, the shit they’ve been through is absolutely wild

Which reminds me I've been thinking about it and I genuinely thought this fic would be finished by the time I graduated my senior year of high school

Ha! It was supposed to be done ages ago…idk if i’m gonna see the end of it 😂

“Damn you,” he chuckled, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her into his lap. Imara set her chin atop his head, holding him close as the smile on his face fell.

I need fanart of this. I will pay with my internal organs to be able to put this image on my wall as a poster.

Yessssssssss 

OOOOH A CONTAINMENT UNIT

😈😈😈

Cut to Peter a few years after this, wreaking havoc in fucking LONDON with Mysterio HAHSHAHA

Gonna give poor jack a heart attack as he gets older

….also got me thinking about nwh and peter and jack’s relationship

Reading this is doing serious damage to my life expectance. This amount of tension is taking a decade off me at most

Pffffft you’re fine

JACK WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING

JACK BENNET-DUGAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING

😀😀😀

“Have we met before?” the man asked, his head cocking to the side. “Yeah,” Jack growled, “I enjoyed breaking your face in Medellín.” Wraith paused, seemingly taken aback for a moment before Jack’s words sunk in. “Copycat,” he hummed, “Come to finish the job?” “With pleasure.”

See I knwo this is supposed to be thrilling

but mostly my heart is just lurching out of my ribcage

😂😂😂

“You shoulda kept the mask. I can see fear in your eyes. Panic,” Wraith paused with a chuckle, the sound twisted and wicked, “I like it.”

Oh wow... didn't know he was into that sorta thing but I guess it isn't surprising 😏

He’s into the most random things i think

I'm about to throw a tearsoaked sandwich to the wall in a fit of unbridled rage

Don’t do that. The sandwich doesn’t deserve it

Maybe it was Danny’s guiding hand making sure they were safe.

Now I'm genuinely curious about these guys' spirituality

The only confirmed person with a belief system is Boone who's pagan. As far as I know Ghost and most of Alpha One and Two are agnostic atheists, but with that I feel like she still has a spiritual belief system that centers mostly on Danny's everlasting presence in her life

Ari was, at one point, Jewish but I think after what happens between him and his dad he doesn’t practice anymore. Idk where anyone else really sits

You were going to have to send Ollie a message.

Cool what's his email address

Or would you rather go for Jack the Ripper-esque letters written in blood with someone's severed ear in the envelope?

What do you think the near-death, crazed soldier is gonna pick?

MELINA AND NATASHAAAA MY TWO BEST GIRLS

yessssssssss

“So, Walsh knows you’re moving them for him?” This stopped Melina in her tracks. She frowned, glancing up at her in confusion, “Who?” “Walsh,” she repeated herself, watching as the woman’s face never changed, “Ghost.”

SO VERY WELL

😀😀😀

“You? Pft. No. He is the stupid archer and you’re my sister. You’re the coolest.”

nice save babes.

Fr fr 

OH MY WHAT

THE WAY I ALMOST BOUNCED OFF THE FUCKING WALL

GOD IT MUST BE SO FUCKING TENSE HOW SCARED HE MUST BE

I dunno how he didn’t shit his pants on sight

Ghostie's probably lying through her teeth

See, she’s just so good at it that it comes naturally. 

I love how May didn't question the almost ghoulish looking woman coming to talk about the ✨internship✨

I meannnnnnn in nwh she did stick up for the villains and idk if i could let a crazed and homeless willem dafoe into my house. 

Well it's high time I scream at someone to put the pieces together again. This'll be fun.

😈😈😈

I love it when all of Alpha Two gangs up on ghost and starts scolding her like she's a child and they knew she broke something in the living room

And she’s like a cat like 🤷🏼‍♀️

With so much shit going on in the East Coast with Wraith and Ghost and all that, I find myself almost grateful to be so far away from the US

Lol, everything always happens on the coasts

“Funny,” he said with a deadpan, “We don’t usually leave fingerprints.”

No you just leave a fuck ton of collateral damage, which is leagues away from little smudgy fingerprints, you fuckin' psychopath

😂😂😂

Peter is the highlight of the chapter, of course. He almost always is. I'm so curious how the homecoming fight will play out.. and how his relationship with Ghost and Jack will go in the next movies of his storyline. The banter is fun. The angst hurts. I'm all in for it.

Seeeeeeee idk if i wanna finish the homecoming arc, if anything i wanna go back and change a few things but…we’ll see 

CHAPTER 97: GENESIS OF A FIRESTORM

To all my live reactors,

Please, please, please, hide your reactions under a Read More cut. I don’t want any spoilers floating around. 

&

To all my Anonymous Avengers, 

If you want to react in my asks, feel free. However, I won’t be answering any of them until at least Wednesday if they contain spoilers. 

Thank you,

Darke

┍━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┑

Every other memory had come so clearly. When he pulled the trigger in Odessa and Inessa. When he trained soldiers and Widows in Siberia.

He could remember the cold in the chamber. The frost bursting and burning through his veins in the darkness.

But there was also heat.

Heat and sand and sun.

It was numbed heat and a blurred face and whispers of a voice that cracked and rasped.

He knew her once.

She knew him too.

They’d made him forget her.

It was too dangerous to remember.

So they made him forget.

They erased her.

But he’d be damned if he didn’t find her again.

┕━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┙

CHAPTER 97: GENESIS OF A FIRESTORM

✪ Bᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ Sᴄᴀʀʀᴇᴅ : Aғᴛᴇʀᴍᴀᴛʜ

♜♠ Tʜᴇ Sᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ & Tʜᴇ Sᴘʏ

⧗ Tʜᴇ Rᴇᴅ Rᴏᴏᴍ

☞ Bᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ Sᴄᴀʀʀᴇᴅ: Oʀɪɢɪɴs

»Jᴏɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋᴇ sɪᴅᴇ Tᴀɢʟɪsᴛ

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[remakethestars]

Being Damian Wayne's Twin Sister Would Include:

Headcanons.

❝Exactly. I don't ask my dog to drive, and I don't ask the Justice League to solve my problems.❞

— Damian Wayne, Adventures of the Super Sons #9: Showdown on Hexworld

TRIGGER WARNING: Cursing, (Damian’s) death. Mentions of toxic masculinity and internalized misogyny, nightmares, blood, knives.

Headcanon masterlist.

When people ask you, “So, which one of you is the evil twin?” Damian always glowers, and you always motion to him.

You look disturbingly alike when only your eyes are showing; Damian’s got long lashes. Talia taught you a good tactic for tag-teaming in combat as kids was to pull up your hinged balaclavas and make the enemy think there was only one of you, that they’re seeing double.

Or for one of you to hang back while the other attacks as a distraction before the other knocks them out from behind.

Obviously, this won’t work when the two of you start filling out, but it works when you’re kids. It’s the reason why, even off the field, the two of you usually wear a matching outfits with hoods.

You utilize the same methods when she sends you to live with Bruce.

You don the Robin costume just like he does, much to the rest of the Batfam’s confusion (both because they weren’t expecting it and because they can’t tell you apart either), but sticking with the “red” theme, you go by Redstart.

There’s a rumor on the street that Robin V. is a meta that can teleport.

The two of you are freakishly good at mimicking the other’s voice and mannerisms, which makes it even harder for your family.

Jason tells you two about April Fools Day, and you make the most of it. Of course, Damian’s a pain in the a$$ and decides to go around pretending to be you and getting into trouble. You’re banned from the mall, and you still have no idea why. 

The two of you can communicate with just an impassive expression (Dick says it looks like a prime example of twin telepathy to anyone else), but anyone close to you knows sh¡t’s about to hit the fan when the two of you look at each other and smirk.

If it’s something you can’t communicate nonverbally, you use your cryptophasia. 

Cryptophasia is a language developed by twins when they’re learning to talk. Most of them grow out of it, you and Damian decided to keep developing it so it became more of a conlang. No one else has been taught to speak it, and they never will be. It’s for emergencies only.

Sun Tzu’s The Art of War was your Bible growing up, and the two of you call out verses when you fight together and need the other to understand a tactic (you both inherited Bruce’s eidetic memory, so you’ve got it memorized).

When you get too big to pull off the which-is-which game, you make your own costume and become the true Redstart. 

It’s basically Damian’s Robin uniform (the Super Sons’s version is the only one I’ll accept), but the boots and gloves are black, the biceps have a white stripe, the lining of the cape is white (the lining of the hood is black), the gold accents become white, it has a zipper down the front instead of clasps, and the mask becomes black (including the eyes). The waterline of the eyes is white. Like a painted redstart.

If Damian’s into animals, you’re into plants. The two of you find common ground on the fact that pollution sucks, so when you walk Titus, you take a trash bag and gloves with you to pick up litter as you go.

You did not want to go to Jon’s school. 

Not because you don’t like Jon (because you do), but because you know you could run intellectual circles around every one of those snot-nosed brats. 

School is stupid. Especially because the American education system is subpar; everything about it is.

You hardly pay attention in class. You do all of the homework a week ahead of time incase something comes up. Usually you’re doing next week’s homework in class. You’ve written entire papers on your phone in Google Docs in the middle of class to be printed out later.

If you’ve already done everything, Damian’s usually drawing and you’re daydreaming or you’re working on a case on your phone.

The teachers are always trying to catch you not paying attention, but you little sh¡ts can always answer their questions. 

Damian’s closest with Dick, but you’re closest with Tim. You admire his ability to plan ahead (see the entirety of the Red Robin comics), and you know that he’s better than both your father and your grandfather; you want to be as good as him when you grow up.

It takes a long time to wash the toxic masculinity and internalized misogyny our of your head, to learn that your grandfather’s ideas of “strength” were wrong, that it’s okay to lean on someone besides Damian, that you can be just as strong as your brother and still be feminine, that there are acceptable emotions besides anger.

Actually, your father teaches you that anger is more likely to get you killed. He won’t let you go into the field when he knows your angry.

It’s harder to drill out of you than your instinct to kill.

There’s a Lebanese restaurant called Tarbooshes (Teen Titans Special #1) the two of you go to when you’re feeling homesick. They make ox blood soup the same way your mother did, and it’s the only non-vegetarian thing Damian will eat for that very reason.

It’s nice to have a place to go where they know you by name and know what you want when you tell them “the usual.” It’s nice to have a place where you’re not a Wayne or an Al Ghul, where you’re just [Y/N] and Damian.

You disappear for an hour on your birthday to eat there. Bruce has asked you were you go, but you kept that between the two of you. 

Speaking of birthdays, you’re eleven minutes older than him. He was six pounds and ten ounces (Batman & Robin #0?), and you were a solid seven.

After Damian died, you go to Tarbooshes to feel close to him.

You were doing all right with the no-killing thing until the night Damian died.

Heretic never stood a chance.

He looked so much like Damian it gave you nightmares, though. Nightmares where you killed your twin brother and woke up sobbing.

Damian didn’t give you a speech in his last moments. He just looked over at you and said in your cryptophasia, “I’m sorry.” 

Not “I love you.” Not “Take care of them for me.” You knew that; you’d do that. He didn’t have to tell you, and he didn’t have to ask.

Just “I’m sorry.” Sorry that you were the one that was left behind.

It’s one thing to lose a family member, to lose a friend, or to lose a lover. It’s another to lose half of your soul.

The two of you had always feared you would die apart. It had always been a possibility; you weren’t stupid enough to think, “It’ll never happen to me.” Because it definitely could. 

And it had.

You wanted to run away from everything. Even just for a while. Go to one of your safe houses in London or France or whatever and just — you didn’t know — stare at the wall until you felt better? But you’d made that unspoken promise to Damian — “I’ll take care of them for you; don’t worry.” — to take care of Titus and Catfred and Jerry and Batcow and Goliath, to take care of Alfred and Bruce and Dick and Jason and Cassandra and Tim, to take care of Jon and Colin and Maps.

You avoided the cave. And if you had to go down there for some reason, you refused to look at the Robin suits.

Dick noticed. He asked if you wanted them taken down, even just for a while. You gave him a look like he was nuts and said, “No.”

Jon was a mess. More of a mess than you were, somehow. 

You’d shown up at the Kents’s. Jon was out doing Superboy things with Clark and Conner. Lois was the only one home.

You nearly scared her out of her skin when you materialized behind her and asked, “Is Jon home? It’s important.” 

He had to know first. He deserved to.

For all he put up with from you two, he deserved to be the first to know when one of you was f*cking dead.

Lois, of course, bless her heart, had the mom instincts to know that you were in no way, shape, or form okay even when you were trying so hard to hold yourself together. She asked you what’s wrong, and it’s what made you break. 

Your lip trembled. “He’s gone.”

“Who’s gone?”

“Damian,” your voice broke. “He’s dead.” 

Jon came home to find you in his living room in your Robin uniform, covered in Damian’s and Heretic’s blood, snot running down your lip, sobbing in his mothers arms and knew what happened without having to ask. He did anyway.

When you and Jon both finally passed out, your Uncle Clark flew you back to the Batcave. No one was in any condition — not even Alfred — so he carried you up to your room; took your boots, mask, cape, and gloves off; and tucked you in. Then he went to find Bruce because there was no doubt he was losing it too.

Bruce doesn’t tell you anything about trying to find a way to bring him back without the Lazarus pit because he doesn’t want to get your hopes up. 

You walk into your room one day to find Damian sitting there reading the dissertation (the requirement was three pages, not 120, but your teacher would just have to deal with your coping mechanisms) you had been working on for your World History class and left up on your laptop while on patrol. 

He said with the utmost indifference, “You’ve made some good points, Sister,” and, of course, you pulled out a knife and attacked him because this was — was — was some shapeshifting alien or hologram tech or a cruel joke — your twin was dead, this wasn’t funny, whoever did this was going to pay.

He met you blow-for-blow and flipped away from you before saying, “And here I was expecting a warm welcome,” in your cryptophasia. 

“Brother?” 

“Tt. Obviously.” 

Yeah, a college level thesis. You’re smart. You inherited Bruce’s eidetic memory and were raised by assassins.

You learned seven languages and wrote five doctoral theses by the time your teeth came in, wrote your first letter to a newspaper editor when you were two, could’ve had a geology doctorate when you were seven (Super Sons #1), and it only took you a week to learn the language on Takron-Galtos. You’re smart.

You’re also incredibly skilled. You learned to drive when you were five (Super Sons #1), your mother trained you to go for weeks without eating (Adventures of the Super Sons #6), you can micro-sleep for days and converse with half your brain asleep, can use a muscular contraction to move your liver out of the way of a blade (Nightwing #20), and can place yourself in a deep trance to heal damages caused by a hematoma (also #20).

(My dumba$$ didn’t note what Super Sons/Adventure of the Super Sons comic I was reading when I took notes, so I don’t have all of them noted in the two above bullet points. But that’s where they’re from. If I end up rereading them, I’ll edit this and add the comic numbers.)

The first time on patrol you thought Bruce was gonna die, you called him Baba. 

The next evening, when Dick came to visit the cave, he turned to you and Damian and asked, “So, which one of you called him Dad?” 

“How’d you know?” you asked. 

“He’s smiling the way he did the day I called him Tati.”

“He’s not smiling,” Damian pointed out.

“He is on the inside.”

Can we talk about how royally the Arkham Knights game screwed up Tim Drake? (Though, everything seems to screw up Tim one way or another, I guess.) Why does he look like a quidditch player in the gif above the cut?

Visit my headcanon masterlist.

DISCLAIMER ━━━ I’m a dumb white American, and I don’t know much about Arab or Romani culture other than what I’ve learned online. I hope I got it right?? If I didn’t, please drop a comment or P.M. me or something to let me know!

[slime-sandwhich-nom]

What happened to us?

We used to be best friends.

after grizzly fell, everything started to fall apart.

Slimecicle started not showing up to meetings, always acting cold and controlling, all for the sake of "making sure we don't do the same mistake again."

bizly and condi at first tried to help, but it ended up with arguments and fights from slimecicle.

of course, they understood that charlie was trying to protect them, he just.. didn't know how. And did in the way he knows.

After all, he was always hidden, watching, he never interacted with people, he never had friends, enemies.

It's a whole new world to him, he knows too much but way too little.

and it's understandable, but dosen't fixes his mistakes HE needs to understand.

Then, that accident happened. That happened and everything just broke.

bizly wanted to strangle charlie,kill him because of how naive and stupid he is.

He is an ancient god, he saw the world begin, how can he be so STUPID?

but charlie disappears.

he disappears and no one ever saw him again.

speaking of charlie, this whole time he was..well, he thought, he was hallucinating.

He heard voices, Jschlatt was always, ALWAYS there.

He was loosing his mind, he didn't know what was real or not anymore.

we're his friends real? Was molympus real? Was HE real?

he didn't know, he didn't know and his mind was telling him to push anything away from any attachments.

Why? Because they weren't real. And there was no point in getting attached to something his twisted mind made to, cope? Hurt him? Dosen't know too.

Just knows he has to avoid them, even if it means getting mean or aggressive.

but there he is, in an apocalypse, with vague memories of things, barely knows what he is or where he is and he just knows that his name is Charlie.

that's his name!

And he hears people talk from nowhere, where do they come from?

They are driving him nuts, can't focus on anything for too long.

They talk about being god, molympus, memories.

It never made sense, he stopped listening to them.

he made friends, well, little companions he made along the way.

But they always leave, always.

Florida man? Nice and fun guy, he left.

the cowboy who thinks this is all fake? Left.

The weird wizard? He, kind of stayed but they never talk.

𝗷𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗹𝗮𝘁𝘁?

Who is he?

Why is he so familiar?

Why does Jschlatt keep following him?

why nobody ever pays attention to Jschlatt?

he made attachments, he doesn't know why he's so paranoid about it, but he wants to stop those attachments.

But he can't. He just can't, even when he forces himself being cold, mean, anything.

He can't, he's too lonely, he needs people.

he needs someone for comfort, to talk, to tell him all of those,, feelings he held inside of him.

but no one ever listened to him, not even himself.

they didn't listen to him, and he didn't listen to them.

He did everything they wanted, and they didn't do the single thing he wanted. He wanted them to stay.

Not even in the end, he was in a whole new world, alone, and he just, gave up.

He gave up, he couldn't keep going.

He was tired, he was exhausted, and he was alone.

who would care if he died?

i mean..he has no family, friends or anything.

Not like he wants to die, he never cared,

And that's what brought him here.

He didn't care.

It was the cycle of life dying, he died already too many times.

It's normal, it's fine.

.

.

.

.

He saw himself living different life's, all of them had,, a bad ending.

He always died.

There was some where he was happy, but those were rare.

He was always hurt.

He didn't care, it's not his life, but feels a little bad because he's aware that no matter what world, he'll always suffer.

he died, finally, he found peace, he could rest and let the world eat him slowly and let his remains become part of the earth.

he woke up, in a throne, in a room with four thrones in total, he was in the green one, with logs, and anything related to nature.

Harvest?

can't tell.

there were three other people, they were talking, a man who seemed to be a bear hybrid, red sweater and his throne was also in the color red.

then, a mad with a blue hoodie

and shades, in a simple wooden chair..

And a man, who seemed to look similar to the science guy who died.

he had a mix of magenta and cyan, with goggles, and colorful clothes, he looked human.

Almost.

More like an elf, but that didn't matter.

Where was he?

[darthmaulification]

savage opress NSFW alphabet

A/N: finally! i got this finished!!

*pounds chest* me love big zabrak man!!! and i am in 100% support for soft!savage so y’all are gonna see a ton of that here. 💀 

also, i had to do so much mental math with this one because savage is so darn tootin’ tall (7ft 1in, from what i’ve read) that relating his you-know-what’s size relative to him was ✨challenging✨ but also 😳🥴🥵💦 if ya know what i mean.

and i mention the maul nsfw alphabet i wrote a couple of times in here, so go check that one out for more clarification on a few points if you feel so inclined. 😊💕

nfsw below the cut! 😘

A = aftercare (what are they like after sex?)

Savage is always a bit unsure of himself in how he cares for others, but his aftercare is immaculate. Every time, there’s this brief window of Post Coital Cuddles where he just holds you in his arms and purrs like there’s no tomorrow, and I mean like near full body vibrations, he’s purring so damn hard and loud. More often than not, this is usually the part where Savage passes out, usually he’s too darn sleepy to finish the rest of the aftercare. However, if he does manage to keep his eyes moment for a few minutes longer, Savage kisses you all over, asks you what you need, and will get the job done in the most tender and sweet way possible.

B = body part (what’s their favorite body part of their partner? what about themselves?)

Savage is a sap and would say that all of you is his favorite, and honestly mean it. He thinks that you and your body are nothing but perfect, all of it. He’ll compliment you with the utmost sincerity, telling you just how beautiful you are whenever and wherever. Savage loves to look at you, to feel you, to worship you. He enjoys all of the squishier parts of you especially, whether that be your thighs, tummy, ass, breasts, etc etc. He loves that you’re so soft compared to him.

However, for as much as he’s able to see the beauty in others, Savage has trouble seeing the beauty in himself. He feels like a monster most of the time, feels like he’s been deformed by his enhancements. It’s not easy for him to choose a favorite part of his body, because he honestly doesn’t like his body. So, you’ll have to coax him into learning to love himself, which isn’t and won’t be easy, but Savage needs to learn that he is allowed and has earned the right to treat himself with love. This will lead to whatever your favorite part of him to be his favorite, whatever that may be.

C = cum (basically anything to do with cum)

Savage cums buckets. Like... an ungodly amount of nut. It’s thick, white, and Maker, it is virile. His sperm count is off the fucking charts, and he knows it. Savage makes sure to cum inside you every time, unless you specifically ask him not to. He pushes balls deep, up to the hilt, and lets loose inside you, absolutely coating your walls in sticky, creamy white. It’s usually so much that the moment he pulls out, it literally spills out of you, and something about that sight has Savage genuinely horny all over again. If it’s okay with you, because he always asks before he does anything, Savage will push it back in with a couple fingers.

D = dirty secret (what’s their dirty secret?)

... Okay, so be nice to him... Savage has a Mommy kink. It’s nothing too crazy, but it’s definitely there. He wants to call you to Mommy, listen to everything you say and tell him to do, be your “Good boy”. Honestly, it’s enough if you just call him the name, if you’re not comfortable with the title, and if you’re his gentle femdom (he would literally worship you). 

Thing is, he might never tell you this because it embarrasses him beyond belief, like cripplingly embarrassing, and he doesn’t know how you’ll react if he told you.

E = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

To be honest, Savage has had no experience. Mostly, it’s because he was raised in an environment where he was taught that his purpose in life was only fighting, so he was never given/had the opportunity of sex. He never had the chance to explore that avenue with another person, because there was no one to explore it with and he was being trained half to death most of the time. Of course, he’s picked up things throughout his life from others, so he’s not clueless and has a semi-idea of how to please someone. So when you and him do the do for the first time, Savage is unsure of himself, a bit clumsy, and kinda self-deprecating. You’ll need to talk to him, tell him that he’s welcome to your body and that you want him, and walk him through some of the actions. So while your first time with Savage may be a bit... disorganized to put it gently, it is also so full of mutual love and respect and care that it is perfect.

And, fortunately for you and him, Savage is a very quick learner.

F = favorite position (what’s their favorite position?)

Savage is a big guy and he knows this, so most of the positions you and him have to take is honestly a lot more for your safety than anything else. Especially at the beginning, Savage will want to be as safe as possible, so it’s most likely going to involve you on top of him, but as he gets more confident in his abilities, he’ll be more open to topping you. When it gets to that point of mutual trust, his favorite positions include:

Missionary. This position is just super personal and intimate for him. It allows Savage to see your every reaction, every gasp and moan you let out. He likes being face-to-face with you, being able to kiss you all over the whole time is especially important to him. Savage also likes missionary for being able to indulge on his size kink a bit, seeing you small and beneath him with his dick bulging inside you makes him so horny.

Cowgirl. Savage loves it when you ride him! He loves being able to watch you bounce on his dick, watching your breasts and anywhere else soft jiggle, being able to feel you up. Savage also likes when you top, being under you is just as nice as being above you (though he will admit the view from below is something real special).

G = goofy (are they the more serious type, or more humorous?)

Savage isn’t goofy, but he also isn’t serious. He doesn’t do a whole lot of teasing, preferring to give you exactly what you ask of him, but he isn’t so stoic as to be overly focused. He is in that warm middleground where he’s just an utter sap, just making sure he’s doing the best job he can just for you.

Sometimes though, if Savage is in a particularly playful mood, and especially if you both are, he’ll have you smiling and giggling from silly antics that he’ll do to please you. One of his go-to’s is flirtatiously flexing his muscles for you, which is a very nice sight.

H = hair (how well-groomed are they?)

Like I mentioned in my Maul NSFW alphabet, male Zabrak don’t have hair anywhere on their bodies. So Savage is completely smooth below the belt. He also doesn’t have a preference towards the hair you do or don’t have, Savage believes it isn’t his place to tell you what to do with your body.

I = intimacy ( how intimate are they during sex?)

Very. Savage has never been as close to someone as he is with you, so he wears his heart on his sleeve. Sex with Savage is overwhelming in its kindness, he indulges on the closeness that he’s never really had before with another person in this way. Savage practically melts into your arms, wanting so badly to show you how much he adores you, he opens his very soul to you. Intimacy, despite his cold upbringing, comes naturally to him, if not a bit surprising, but Savage wouldn’t have it any other way.

J = jack off (do they masturbate?)

Mm... not really, to be honest. He did “more” in his youth, when he could, but even then it was very secretive and few and far between. So yeah, Savage has indulged in the pleasures of the flesh, but he really doesn’t find the time nor motivation to yank it. Especially with you in his life, Savage is set.

K = kinks (any kinks?)

Savage does indeed have quite a few kinks, but he’s also a bit sheepish about them. He’ll tell you if you ask, but he’ll get all fidgety and awkward, so please be nice to him. Here’s his main ones:

Size kink. Savage is often self-conscious about his daunting height and bulk, but if there’s one area where he’s not, it’d be when he’s balls deep inside you, watching your pussy stretch to accommodate his length and the bulge that appears under your tummy. Something about it drives him near feral and makes him weak in the knees. He also loves how big his hands look as the travel your body, engulfing your skin with his palms and splayed fingers.

Breeding/pregnancy kink. He’s always liked kids, he would like kids with you, so Savage has a near crippling breeding kink. There isn’t a day where he doesn’t think about fucking you full of his seed and starting a family with you. He wants it so badly, to see you pregnant with his child, but he isn’t sure how to raise it to you. So, it’ll be a lot of very specific dirty talk and passing comments until he finally gathers the courage to tell you that he really really wants kids (and seeing you swollen with his baby and milk is just a bonus).

Praise kink. Savage loves to give praise and he loves to receive it! He’ll be complimenting and encouraging you the whole time, telling you how sexy your body is, how pretty you are to look at, how soft you are, how much he loves you, etc etc. His mouth gives only the most sincere, loving praise that’ll have you holding back tears with how kind it is. And if you say nice things back??? Savage is putty in your hands. Words cannot describe how much it means to him if you tell him how good he’s making you feel, how he’s doing so well, that he’s also sexy and that you love his body... or if you call him a “Good boy”.

Predator/prey. Despite his overall kind decorum, Savage really has a predator/prey kink, like more so than Maul, which is saying something. He really likes a good chase before doing the do, gets the blood pumping to all the right places. And while he never wants you scared of him, he does toy around and give you a good spook during the hunt to catch you off guard. Savage enjoys the startled shrieks that he’s able to smother with kisses until he has you panting and giggling.

Scent kink. Honestly, this is his Monkey Brain Zabrak mind rearing it’s head. Savage really just likes sniffing you all over, taking in your scent and committing it to memory. He especially loves smelling your hair and, more vulgarly, your pussy. To him, the aroma that is you is something he gets drunk on.

L = location (favorite place to “do the do”?)

Savage is most comfortable and secure in the bedroom, but that doesn’t mean it’s his favorite. He finds (after a while, of course, and gaining more experience) that he really really likes to fuck in the precarious spot that is the fucking throne room. It’s scandalous and dirty and bold, especially for Savage, but Maker, if he doesn’t love dragging you there in the dead of night and rawing you behind the throne.

M = motivation (what gets them turned on?)

There are two sure fire ways to get Savage hard in his pants that are completely opposite. One, Savage has a thing for you playing all cute with him. If you give him puppy dog eyes and act coy and helpless and needy, he’s on you as soon as he can be. Two, you act bold. Savage will get hot around the collar if you get get firm with him in public and whisper to him exactly what you want. He finds it very hard to say no to you if you give him such a compelling order.

N = NO (what’s their turn offs?)

Sadism. Savage just can’t do it. The last thing he wants to do is hurt you. He ties pain to the bouts of frustrated rage he’s prone to, pain that he inflicts on others that really hurt, or even kill them. Savage gets nightmares about laying his hands on you like that.

Also, Savage would not like being physically restrained in any way. That is a huge turn off for him, because it makes a lot of bad memories bubble to the surface.

O = oral (do they have a preference in giving/receiving?)

Savage wants nothing more than to eat you out. From the first time he ever tasted you, he was hooked. He’s addicted to your unique taste, sweet and perfect on his tongue, your warm, velvety pussy, that cute clit. Savage would spend hours with his head between your legs, mindful of his horns, if he could. He’ll lap at you like a dog, licking and kissing like he’s savoring a fine wine. Savage will have you cumming over and over again until your sobbing for him to stop.

His love for giving head honestly impedes his love for receiving head. He likes it when you do, mostly because it amuses and arouses him to see you struggle to take as much of him as you can, but it just doesn’t compare to eating you like a dessert. But if you do wish to go down on him, feel free to. Savage loves to see your tiny mouth work on his massive cock.

P = pace & PDA (are they soft, sensual, rough, or feral? are they open to displaying the relationship?)

SOFTIE ALERT SOFTIE ALERT!! Savage is so fucking sweet when he fucks because he puts so much thought and energy into it, he is the definition of making love. Savage fucks you hard and intensely, but it’s so careful and generous, because he doesn’t want to hurt you and just wants to treat you right. Savage literally could be blowing out your back, but it still feels like he’s worshipping your body like he’s at a temple.

Now PDA... Savage blushes if you hold his hand. He’s fairly alright with displaying the relationship, but if you do he’s a flustered, lovesick mess. He likes having a hand on you, especially holding yours, but if he has one on your lower back, he’s so awkward and sweet about it, but deep down it makes him feel really proud. Like, no one else gets to say that your his, and that has him so happy! PDA with Savage may be small, but it’s very cute.

Though if you kiss him in public, his brain shuts down and he swoons.

Q = quickies (what’s their opinion on quickies?)

Yes. Once you two have been at it for a while, Savage grows more and more fond of the appeal of quickies. He likes a good, quick release, though it doesn’t compare to having hours alone with you, but it’s fun nonetheless. Savage will most likely seek a quickie from you if there’s a lull in the day, when his and your schedules slow down enough to run back to your bedroom all giggly and flirty just to go a quick round or two.

R = risks (are they okay with experimenting? do they take risks?)

Savage is so-so on experimenting. He’s very nervous about trying stuff that’s a bit more... drastic, so it’ll really depend on what you’re asking him to try. Though, if you coax him just enough and assure him that your with him on this, Savage will be a bit more sure of the situation and more likely to try stuff out.

As for taking risks though, like genuine risks, the only one he kinda allows himself is that rare throne room fuck that happens once in a blue moon when the climate’s right for it. Other than that, Savage doesn’t like doing too much risky stuff in the bedroom.

S = stamina (how many rounds can they last?)

A damn long time. Maybe it’s because he’s Zabrak, or maybe it’s because of his enhancements, but Savage has stamina for days. He’s easily able to last 4-5 rounds before his cock starts to protest, but even then he’ll push himself if you ask him to (though you probably will be too far gone by that point). Savage makes you cockdumb nearly every time you have sex, simply because he can just keep fucking. Like his dick stays hard even through the refractory period, and he stays just horny from when it all started. Savage, though he is embarrassed to admit this, is insatiable.

T = toys (do they own/use any toys?)

Savage has literally never even seen a toy in person. He has no idea how they work, what they’re used for, why people use them, what’s the appeal... He is painfully clueless. So if you want to bring toys into the mix, you’ll have to thoroughly run them down to Savage or he might get put off. Depending on the toy, he might get a little iffy around it and unsure.

The only toy that’s blacklisted for sure is any type of restraint. He does not like those.

U = unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

Savage is... kinda bad at teasing. He’s just too darn sweet to tease!! He can’t find it in his heart to have you begging... for too long, that is. He may be a softie, but that doesn’t mean he’s a pushover. Savage with lightly tease throughout, toying with you a little bit before he gives in to both yours and his desires, and ravishes you.

V = volume (how loud or quiet are they during sex?)

Loud. Savage, when he isn’t very sweetly teasing you, he will be grunting and groaning and moaning your name like there’s no tomorrow. He sounds like a wild animal, all growls and snarls, rumbling deep in his throat like thunder on the horizon. It’s near constant too, and very very sexy. And, if it’s during his heat or your squeezing his cock just right, Savage won’t even be able to talk, and he’ll be reduced to a moaning, panting mess until he’s able to gather himself again.

W = wildcard (what’s a random headcanon?)

I follow the headcanon that Zabrak go through heat/rut cycles, but I expand more on it here in Maul’s NSFW alphabet. Basically, it’s about the same for Savage; he had an upbringing where his sexuality was suppressed, which severely jacked up his heat cycle’s circadian rhythm, that led to years of feelings of inadequacy and shame, which then eventually led to Savage having a mini sexual resurgence once he was free from his main oppressors and oppression.

That being said, Savage’s heat cycle doesn’t come often, as it and he is still healing, but when it does he gets a bit more riled up and snippy. He’s just generally more grumpy and gets hypersensitive to smells/sounds which will make him snap at people. But he’s still Savage, so he’s still a sweetheart in his soul, if not a gruff one.

But Savage still suffers a bit from the whole shame surrounding his biology, so at first he won’t want you around when he goes into heat. It is shame, he doesn’t want you to see him like that. But you’re smart enough to catch on eventually, and you’ll really have to wriggle yourself in and pull him out of his comfort zone at the same time. Savage needs to be let known that his physiology is normal and fine, and that he shouldn’t be ashamed of it. You’ll meet a bit of push back at first, because you are trying to undo years of abuse, but eventually Savage comes around.

He still gives you the option if you want to stay with him or not, because he’s thoughtful like that. If you decide to stay with him and “help him out” so to say... expect long, fun nights.

X = x-ray & x-tra (what’s underneath those clothes? any more random headcanons?”)

Savage is literally just 7 feet of pure muscle. He already towers over most others, but his burly figure also has the tendency to intimidate. Savage is positively stacked, with the physique of an Olympic bodybuilder. He’s got shoulders wide enough to sit a person on either side of his head, strong arms to match, and an absolutely exquisite pair of brawny chest muscles. Savage doesn’t have washboard abs like Maul, but he isn’t exactly dad bod either, he sits in the middleground of some definition of his muscles and a light brushing of pudge. His long, beefy legs are also particularly fun to enjoy, especially those thighs of his... and his nice ass.

And of course, Savage’s inky black tattoos paint him delectably everywhere else on his body, engraving sharp patterns all over his canary yellow skin. He also has scars scattered over his body, mostly on his hands and arms, but there are a few long ones on his back from, ones that have silvered in age, that bring about very bad memories. Savage doesn’t like talking about them.

Now his schlong... Maker you are in for it. Savage has a really, really big cock between his legs that you can thank to the enhancements his body received. Savage’s penis is 11 inches (27.94 cm) when fully erect and is just under 3.5 inches (8.89 cm) in diameter, so he is positively hung. Like all Zabrak penises, it’s ridged down the shaft and he is uncut. His balls are also fairly big, due to his size, and they sit lower from their weight.

Y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Before Savage met you, his sex drive was relatively low. He was focused entirely on other things, most of which he didn’t really have a say in the matter, that drew a lot of his time and energy. Often, he was so exhausted that sex, and even sexual urges, literally never crossed his mind. Now after he’s met you, and has caught feelings nearly instantly, Savage finds himself thinking about fucking you a lot. Before you officially started a relationship, he spent many nights indulging himself with the thought of you and his hand. And when you both started dating, Savage damn near gets horny every time he looks at you. He realizes that he really likes sex, specifically he really likes it with you.

Z = zzzz (how fast do they fall asleep after?)

Savage already has the tendency to sleep like a log after strenuous activities, so after you and him have done the Devil’s dance a couple times, he passes out almost instantly. Albeit, you’ll probably pass out just as fast too, so you both tend to fall asleep all sticky and messy and stupid happy. He does try though, to remain awake to give you solid aftercare, but listen, this mans is tired and he was wants to fall asleep with you in his arms. Though, he does sometimes stay aware enough to clean you up, just in case you don’t wanna go to bed sticky.

[bazzybelle]

Get to Know Me

Thank you @aristocratic-otter, @excalisbury, and @aroace-genderfluid-sheep for the tags. 💜

Relationship status: Married. We've been together for 10 years this October (married for 5 of them). It hit me out of nowhere that we're celebrating our 5th anniversary. I could have sworn we just got married like 2 years ago...

Favorite color: Wine purple. Like a dark, deep, wine colour. I love painting my nails and if I could choose one colour to have them for the rest of my life, I'd choose a wine-purple colour.

Favorite food: My Nonna's gnocchi with a simple tomato sauce.

Song stuck in your head: Since I just finished watching Ms. Marvel (super fucking fun, btw), Livin' On A Prayer by Bon Jovi is currently stuck on repeat in my brain.

Last thing you googled: I couldn't remember the placement of the colours for the Asexual flag, so I googled that.

Time: 7:56 PM

Dream trip: My instinct is to say like backpacking across Europe and just see all the countries, but I think my actual dream trip would be to go to Japan/South Korea, or to New Zealand.

Last book you read: I have been reading non-stop fanfiction, friends... The last book I read was probably The Charm Offensive. Such a GOOD BOOK and nails what it's like to live with chronic depression. Highly recommend.

Last book you enjoyed: I mean all the books I've read I've immensely enjoyed, but I think the last book to make me scream in excitement, was probably The Sandman audiobooks. I want to read all the novels now, and I am so excited for the Netflix series. The stories are so rich, and the characters are so cool. Everything about it is incredible.

Last book you hated reading: See, I have to really think back on a book that I could not get through, and that's pretty difficult. The only thing that's coming to mind is Tacitus' The Annals... I had to read that book for a class and MY GOD is it ever dry.

Favorite thing to cook/bake: Christmas cookies. It's a special thing I do for friends and family. I book an entire weekend and just go to town baking different types of cookies for the holidays. :D

Favorite craft to do in your free time: I'm not really a crafty person... Does baking count? Because I love to bake in my free time.

Most niche dislikes: I don't know?

Opinion on circuses, now and in history: They're fucking awful... I suppose in some extreme examples, they were a place where disenfranchised people could make SOME money, but not without enduring endless abuse. I like circuses like Cirque du Soleil (acrobatic performances).

Do you have a sense of direction, and if not what is the worst way you’ve gotten lost: ZERO sense of direction. Jesus... if I didn't have google maps, I'd get lost a block away from my own home.

The worst way I've gotten lost... Thing is, I can get lost REALLY easily, but I try not to panic too much. Like I've gotten lost several times while living in Florence, but anytime that happened, I just headed towards Santa Maria Fiore and the massive cupula dome, and was always able to find my way home.

Here's a funny story about me driving my friends nuts because I just don't know where I live. So before I moved out, I used to live near a major highway. Like you could exit that highway and be two blocks from my house. But I just... never realized that. So whenever friends would drive me home, I would use visual cues on the highway to tell me that my exit was coming up.

Well, it was super dark... and I wasn't able to see where we were, so we missed the exit. I tried to direct my friend as best as I could to my house, but we ended up driving around this neighbourhood for almost an hour because I could not see anything.

Turns out we were 2 mins away from my house the entire time.

Rightfully so, my friend never drove me home again.

I've seen several of these, so if you've done one already, I apologize. Tagging, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @f-ing-ruthless-baz, @fight-surrender, @amywaterwings, @palimpsessed, @giishu, @captain-aralias, @stardustasincocaine, @artsyunderstudy, @martsonmars, @angelsfalling16, @facewithoutheart

[sleepy-achilles]

The Family of Destruction- Clean Break

The title is quite literal. I made a fake insta thread about Leon breaking his arm but never truly went into details so. Surprise

Lmao crying my eyes out because I did not mean to post this at all, it's not finished but luckily for me it seems like it's finished so, imma pretend it is.

----

Leon was a wrestler. He was a good one at that, I mean, his parents are the undertaker and heartbreak kid. Of course he's good. He had a pretty neat streak of his own going aswell. Undefeated. Never lost a single match. So when Leon doesn't turn up on raw not only are fans disappointed but also scared. Scared that vince had threatened this Undefeated streak and Leon walked out.

This was infact, not the case.

Leon, despite being a wrestler, has only ever got injured in the ring once and that was when he was fighting his Uncle Hunter. Which is a long complicated story for another day.

Leon actually broke his arm, a clean break at that, trying to impress his already impressed boyfriend, Drew Mcintyre. It was stupid, Leon knows that, well, he does after his Papa and Father have ago at him about it. But still, Leon just had to give it a shot. I mean, it's not every day a demon from texas is put in snow and ice.

Which, drew should of know meant he couldn't ice skate or slay to save his life. Leon's arm took its first bump on the ice when Leon landed on it awkwardly a few times. It stung and throbbed but Leon just assumed that was normal. And then, stupid lil Lee, decided he needed to impress his boyfriend with his non-existing snowboarding skills which ended with him catching his arm on a tree with a very loud crack that he at the time thought was the tree.

It's not until Leon got too drew and drew checked him, and shortly began freaking out, that Leon realised he had a problem. The problem being his forearm acting as if it was now his elbow.

"Oh...thats bad..." Leon whispers. "Bad?! Leon you've broken your arm!" "Oh god we have to defend the tag belts tomorrow..." "tag belts?! Leon your arm! Is broken!" Drew would yelp before dragging him off to the hosptial.

If you asked Leon, shawn was more upset he couldn't goto get ice cream than he was about Leon's arm being casted up.

"Why would you do something so stupid?" Taker asks. "My baby's broke his first bone.." Shawn whispers. Both men ignore him. "I just wanted to make him laugh..I didn't think much of it.." Leon sighs resting his head against the pillow. "When can we sign him out? My finger hurts" cassie pouts. They had drew attached to the heart monitor but the moment taker entered it went nuts, so they had to switch to cassie. "The doctors did tests after I explained he fell on the ice first. They think he's concussed" drew admits. "Hes a fucking idiot" Taker snaps. Leon frowns. "You told me to try human things. To try being more human. I tried.." Leon whispers. Taker sighs. "I know, but you have to be careful. Your tag champ, you cannot have this" Taker states. "Ah that's where he gets it from" drew mutters. Cassie smirks and nods, already knowing Leon was more concerned about the belts. "Taker! He's broken his arm!" Shawn tuts hitting takers chest. "By being an idiot! I cannot feel sorry for him when he's the one who caused it. And a clean break? You couldn't just fracture or sprain it? You had to snap that shit in half?" Taker asks.

"Sorry, next time I'll try harder to only sprain it" Leon snaps. "There will be no next time! Both of you stop it!" Shawn groans. "At least my arm injury wasn't my own fault" Taker mutters. "Live a little old man. It's fun" Leon whispers.

"So...was it actually bent like an L?" Cassie asks, trying to break the awkward silence. Instead she gets everyone looking at her. "Just wanted to know" she frowns looking down.

Drew would soon discover this arm injury was more burden than good. Leon was driving him and himself insane. Leon did not like being told he couldn't fight. So...drew decided to atleast get them both back at work.

---

"If you even swing for anyone-" "I know you'll have me off for longer" Leon pouts. "Im serious Lee. The faster it heals the faster we can fight. Vince has only agreed because fans need to see the tag champs still" drew sighs. Leon frowns and looks down at his casted up arm. "Whats the story for the arm?" Sheamus calls running over. "The true story or the one hunter gave him?" Drew asks. "Which one is cooler?" Sheamus asks. "Hunters." Leon sighs. "Seriously?" Sheamus asks wide eyed. "Yep, according to hunter, he got in a bike accident, meaning not only are we not allowed to use his bike to enter but he's not allowed on a bike outside of work either" drew states. "So how stupid was the actual accident?" Sheamus questions. Drew find it adorable the way his cheeks heat up. "Snowboarding. And ice skating. We think the real damage was done when he fell ice skating and hitting his arm against a tree snowboarding just, you know, broke the ice." Drew explains.

Sheamus can't stop himself from laughing. Leon frowns and shoves sheamus with his good arm. "Its not funny! And you cannot tell anyone!" Leon whines. "Oh so telling everyone!" Sheamus yells. "Drew!" Leon protests. "Im surrounded by actual children." Drew whispers.

[disgruntledspacedad]

The Rules of Engagement (3/5)

The Better Love Series

pairing: Javier Peña x fem!reader/ofc (Ears)

summary: (slow-burn, sexual tension, angst, a little bit of h/c in later chapters) He’s a DEA agent. You work for Centra Spike. Peña’s not your boss, exactly, but you’ve been fwb long enough that certain people are starting to think of you as An Item, and that just won’t do. 

words: 3.4k 

warnings: 18+ for alcohol, language, smut, violence, body horror, general trauma. Please, please heed the warnings on this chapter, guys. It gets pretty intense.

a/n: Unbeta’d. I know I said this was going to be three chapters, but I lied. Sorry, my dudes - this one got away from me. Inspo credit goes to @tiffdawg​, as always.

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five

MASTERLIST

Well, fuck. You bite back a massive sigh.

You really, really don’t want to walk through that door.

It’s been a month, and you life has changed profoundly.

For one, you’re not at the office as much anymore - Stechner had made good on his promise to consider you for more flyovers, and boy, has Centra Spike been busy. Some new vigilante group is terrorizing Medellín, and while it’s not Search Bloc’s priority to go after them, they’ve undeniably kept Pablo and his sicarios busy. The radio frequencies are hot right now, and you’ve been doing eight, sometimes ten flights a week. 

You absolutely love it. The hours are less predictable and definitely more shitty, but listening to a radio from the cockpit of a plane is much more fun that listening to a radio in a stuffy basement office, so you consider it a fair trade.

It keeps your brain busy, too.

Your social life has taken a massive kick to the nuts. Ana is back at university, and you miss her more than you thought you would. You’ve reverted to communicating with Emilio with gestures and smiles more than words. It’s nice because he’s nice, but you miss actual conversation, stilted as it was. Ana wasn’t all that bad, either.

And then there’s Javi.

You haven’t spoken to him since That Morning, not even a polite 'how are you?' in the hallway. Granted, you’re not seeing him as often anymore, given your new position and hours, but then again, you haven’t exactly sought him out, either.

The memory claws at you every time you relive it - and you relive it often. That anger, that wounded expression. The slammed door, his retreating footsteps. Each time you’re in that building, the walls seem to close in on you, and you have to stop yourself from looking for him, actively keep your gaze from roaming straight to his desk.

God, as if you could make it more awkward.

You’d had one nasty conversation with Murphy about a week after the incident - you’d told him in no uncertain terms that he could either mind his own business or fuck right off, you didn’t care which. He’d left you be, throwing his hands in the air and muttering something about how “you two deserve each other.”

Asshole.

Still, that aborted conversation haunts you - so many aborted conversations haunt you - and you wonder what would have happened if you’d just taken the bull by the horns and addressed the issue with Javi head on.

I’m sorry you caught me rubbing one off on the morning after you almost died, Peña. I can assure you, it won’t happen again. Your friendship means the world to me.

Yeah, right.

God, though, but you miss him.

You miss him so much it aches, a gaping hole that reaches right down to the core of you, but there’s nothing to be done about it. You’d fucked this one completely and thoroughly - any chance of restoring your friendship had drained away with the shower-water, and the more time you spend fretting over it, the more awkward - and pathetic - it would be to say anything.

So, you’d cut your losses, held your head high, and tried not to waste too much time wishing you’d have just kept your fucking fantasies to yourself.

Now, though, you’ve got no choice.

You’d been on Centra Spike’s early morning flight, just another routine scan over Medellín. The shift wasn’t intended to be more than a training run for you, but as luck would have it, the Medellín cartel’d had a busy night, and you’d been caught in the crossfire.

Your plane had just touched down half an hour ago, and now you’re standing on the front steps of the embassy building, fingering a shoebox cassette player loaded with a freshly taped recording full of juicy intel destined for the desk of DEA Agent Javier Peña - an entire, private conversation featuring none other than Verdugo himself.

You’d know that voice anywhere. You’ve studied it for hours, what few snatches you’d been able to glean from the embassy archives. It’s almost as if Verdugo is smart enough to steer clear of the city, or to just avoid phone conversations all together, the absolute fuckwad.

Until early this morning.

On the plane, you’d intercepted a new signal and tapped in on a whim, intending to practice your Spanish more than anything, but what you’d overheard was a fucking gold mine of information.

Verdugo is in Medellín. The sicarios are getting ready to move Escobar. He didn’t say where - fucking bastard knows not to spill all of the beans in one conversation - but apparently the plan requires a rendezvous in El Centro first. Verdugo is en route, and will be there until the next morning.

You’d worked frantically all night, tracing and retracing the signal, triangulating potential addresses, then back-tracking to account for environmental distortion. Each calculation had led you to the same place - an unassuming little house right smack in the middle of Medellín.

Bingo.

“You take it in, Aarons.” Torres had declined your offer to do the honors. “It’s your intel.”

So here you are, bleary-eyed and running on less than two hours of sleep, cassette player clenched tightly to your chest, summoning up all of your courage just to go speak with your ex... well, ex whatever-the-fuck Peña is.

‘This is your job,’ you remind yourself fiercely. ‘You can do this.’

As pep-talks go, it isn’t very effective.

Fuck it. You toss your head back, wishing you’d had time to at least grab a cup of coffee on the way in, and breeze around the corner.

“Agent Peña.”

He glances up lazily, thoroughly uninterested in whatever you have to say. When he realizes it’s you, he blinks once, dropping his cigarette in the ashtray and sitting up to eyeball you with a wary expression.

"What can I do for you?” he asks cooly.

You remember him saying that once before, but the context was totally different.

You shake it off. “Centra Spike has new intel that you’ll want to see right away.”

He purses his lips, tilting his head to indicate the growing pile of bullshit on his desk. “You can leave it here.”

Oh, so that’s how it is, then?

“I can’t.” You pin him with a stare, and he meets your gaze evenly, raising his eyebrows in silent challenge. You clear your throat and clarify. “I won’t.”

He scoffs as you carefully rest cassette tape on his desk, along with a map of El Centro. “We intercepted a four minute conversation with Verdugo this morning. He’s here.” You point to the safe house on the map, which you’ve already circled in red ink. “Feo and Limón are with him. They’re leaving early tomorrow.”

Peña frowns down at the spot where your finger rests. “And can you corroborate that information?”

Oh, the motherfucker. “I verified his voice personally, Peña,” you say carefully, doing your damndest to keep the annoyance from your tone. It’s well within his right to ask questions, after all. “It’s a direct match for the audio samples we have.” You tap the tape for emphasis. “You’re welcome to listen for yourself.”

He doesn’t make a move for a long time. Something hot and painful burns in your gut as you wait.

God, he knows you, knows you better than anybody else in on this goddamned continent.  He knows that you know your shit, that you want to catch Escobar as desperately as he does. And this evidence that you have spread across his desk, recorded on tape and marked plainly in red ink, is irrefutable, undeniable - it’s a huge break. He knows that, too.

His apathy is palpable, and it’s driving you up the fucking wall.

When he finally glances up at you, it’s with a doubtful little smirk on his face. “Hmm.”

And oh, wow, you’re shocked by just how much that hurts.

All your life, from the moment you were born into a family of brothers, you’ve had to fight tooth and nail to be taken seriously. It was a fact of life as early as you can remember - ‘look after your sister,’ or, ’she’s just a girl,’ or ‘wow, you’re really great at math, for a woman!’ You’d settled on your career as an analyst because you’d wanted it, not because you’d had something to prove, but still, the military is a male-dominated field, and from the start, the odds had been stacked against you.  Landing this CIA gig had been the achievement of a fucking lifetime. Still, the bar is set high in the Colombia, and it’s set that much higher for a woman. You’re well aware of this; you’re reminded every single day.

Point being, you’re used to defending yourself and your abilities; it comes as natural as breathing.  

But until now, you’ve never had to fight this battle with Peña. He’d taken you at face value from the moment he'd laid eyes on you, treating you like just another operative. Sure, he might take a crack at you every now and again, but that's all in good fun, and you’ve never been one to shy away from a laugh.

Christ, you never realized just how much that respect meant to you until suddenly, it’s gone.

“If you have something to say about my skills and qualifications, Agent Peña, then I suggest you say it.” You lean over his desk, speaking quietly, enunciating each syllable with deadly precision. “Otherwise, I think we both know that it’s in the best interest of Search Bloc and the Colombian people that we collaborate quickly, so we can put boots on the ground and land this motherfucker behind bars where he belongs.”

Peña’s eyes narrow, and he cocks his head, studying you. You meet his gaze, biting back a snarl. You won’t back down. You won’t allow him to intimidate you.

When he nods sharply and reaches for his phone, you know you’ve won.

♠

Ten minutes later, you’re situated in a conference room with Peña, Steve Murphy, Martinez, and a couple of the other higher ups of Search Bloc whose names you haven’t memorized. Your maps are spread over the table, your tape displayed for all to see, and every eye is on you.

“Verdugo is here,” you say, leaning over the map to indicate the marked house. “He and his entourage arrived late last night, and they’re planning to leave early tomorrow morning.”

“Plenty of time to get a team together.” Murphy interjects, glancing between you and Peña with open curiosity.

You narrow your gaze at him. Drama-mongering bastard.

Peña’s not moving. He’s standing with his hip cocked toward the desk, frowning down at the map with his fingers curled to his chin like he’s totally oblivious to everything happening around him.

You know he’s not, though. That’s Javi’s thinking face, the one he makes when he wants people to shut the fuck up and forget about him until he can work something out. You’re pretty familiar with that one.

The others are babbling in Spanish, discussing logistics and the likelihood of this being another trap.

It’s not. You know this deep in your bones. You’d heard that conversation in real time, had translated, triangulated it.

This is legit.

You’ve just decided to leave them to it when Javi snaps his eyes open.

“I agree with Aarons,” he announces out of nowhere. You’re startled by the confidence in his tone. Curious, you glance up, but it’s difficult to get a read on him. He’s pinning every person in the room except you with a hard stare. “We need to move out now.”

Several of the others make noises of protest, but Peña shuts them all down, one by one. Finally, his eyes flicker up to meet yours, just for a brief second, but there’s something different in his gaze, something new and heavily guarded.

You think it might be an apology.

“Let’s end this.”

♠

He’s on a plane to Medellín within an hour, wearing that stupid bullet proof vest. For just a split second, you wish that you were going, too. You don’t have enough experience, though - you’re not an agent; you haven’t handled a gun since basic. You’d be useless in a real fight, a liability, even.

Still, you feel some ownership in this operation, today more than ever. You don’t even try to kid yourself about Javi anymore, either. Those fucking feelings haven’t faded in a month, not a bit, not even after the awkward conversation you’d had in his office.

‘But he stood up for you, too, afterward,’ something whispers in the back of your mind. You replay that little glance in the conference room over and over as you watch Search Bloc board the plane.

He’s looking for you this time, standing on the ramp with his eyes shaded like he knows you’ll be waiting. He doesn’t nod and you don’t wave, but you make eye contact for a lingering moment, and again, there’s something in his expression that you don’t recognize.

Then the plane takes off down the runway, and you feel as if your heart is swooping away with it.

♠

You volunteer for the late shift at work, monitoring the radio lines in case something comes up. It’s an unusually quiet night, as if all of Bogotá collectively holds its breath, and you mostly spend it watching the clock, calculating the hours in your head.

One to land in Medellín. Two more to mobilize the men. Another half to get in location.

From there, your speculation gets fuzzy. There’s no way to predict the outcome once Verdugo is engaged. Javi’s told you a million stories, each more unbelievable than the last - car chases and rooftop shootouts, standoffs in the street, a fistfight in a church sanctuary, bodies of children littering dark alleyways… you cut off the recollections. They aren’t doing you any favors.

Verdugo is a dangerous man. Anything could happen.

By seven am, your brain is mush and your eyes are hyper-focused in that bleary way that happens when you’ve gone too long without sleep. Your third cup of coffee has gone cold, and people are starting to trickle in. You wave half-heartedly to Torres as you slip out of your headset, rubbing your fingers over your scalp to ease the tension that comes from wearing heavy earphones all night. A shower sounds nice, you decide, and maybe a quick nap afterward.

Somebody will page you with news.

Getting out of the building does a lot to wake you up. There’s something oppressive about the CNP headquarters that seems to abate when you step into the streets of Bogotá. The city buzzes with life even in the early morning, and air is warm in a way that seems to energize rather than sedate. Optimism is easier to invoke as you walk down the street in broad daylight.

Javi had looked at you, at least. He’d listened. He’ll call in to the office as soon as he can. Your intel was good, and they’ve flushed out the rat, he’d promised you that.

Everything will be okay.

You round the corner of CRA 70 and Circular, waving to Emilio, who is working the register of the pharmacy today.

“Orejas!” He shouts, reaching below the counter to hold aloft another bottle of aguardiente. “¡Mira! Solo para ti!”

You grin back at him, raising your voice to shout a greeting, and then, with absolutely no warning, the store explodes.

A loud boom.

A whoosh of impossible heat.

A massive orange fireball billowing from the windows.

Your body flying, flying through the air.

Bright blue sky, and then darkness.

♠

You find yourself lying flat on your back in the middle of the street. Your ears are ringing. There’s a pat-pattering in the air, soft like falling rain.

You blink hard.

It’s not rain, you realize dizzily.

It’s fucking ash.

The air is dark with it, hot and heavy. It coats your tongue and stings your eyes. It’s hard to catch a breath. Your throat hurts, your chest aches. You cough weakly. The smell is terrible, acrid and bitter like burned metal. You can taste it on your tongue.

Slowly, you tense your muscles. Your chest is still burning, but there’s nothing sharp to suggest a serious injury. Your back is sore, your head fuzzy.

You sit up, wincing a little, relieved to realize that you’ve just had the wind knocked from you. You’ll have some bruises tomorrow, but that’s all.

Sound slowly filters in. The hiss and crackle of flame. A shout in the distance. Further away, a wailing siren.

Reality slams into you all at once.

Emilio!

You stand, wobbling more than you think you should, but you push past it. Reality seems to pitch and roil, as if the ground is hitching its breath beneath you. Rubble coats the street, dust clouds the air.

Oh god.

A gaping, smoking crater is all that’s left of Emilio’s pharmacy. The windows are blown out of the businesses on either side, their outer walls bowing under the pressure. Your apartment on the top floor is demolished, the roof caving in, flames licking at the the collapsed floors.

You gasp one long, shuddering breath, taking it all in, and then you’re running, sort of, picking your way through hunks of concrete and twisted metal.

“Emilio! Emilio!”

Your voice is hoarse, the world hushed. Nothing sounds quite right. Your legs are shaking and you can’t catch your breath. Some of the rubble is hot to the touch, and you feel like you’re moving underwater, slow and awkward and stupid.

You approach what’s left of the store, and the smell hits you first. Like cooked meat - charred, greasy, heavy.

You press your hand to your mouth to stifle a scream.

You found Emilio. He’s pinned beneath part of the collapsed roof. You look away quickly, but not before you catch a glimpse of blackened flesh, of bone, blood, and pink frothy tissue.

Acid rises in your throat, and you stumble to your knees, stomach clenching painfully into your ribs as you vomit onto the street. It goes on and on, over and over for an eternity, tears and snot and bile and ash leaking mingled down your face until there is nothing left in you to expel.

The encroaching wail of a siren draws you to your senses. You glance up, suddenly painfully aware of your situation. The ceiling is arching above you, just to your right, and it’s creaking ominously. The fires are still burning, and your shirt is clinging painfully hot against your back. You stagger to your feet once again, dizzy, almost drunkenly. A small crowd has gathered, pointing and gawking, calling out to you in Spanish that you are far, far too overwhelmed to translate.

Gasping, you raise your hands and side-step away, careful of the debris that litters the street around you.

A firetruck arrives on the scene, squalling to a stop between you and the onlookers, and you leap at the opportunity, ducking down the nearest alleyway before anybody can follow.

♠

You aren’t sure how much time you waste in the alleyways of Bogotá.

Seconds?

Minutes?

The time after the explosion is all a blur, and you run until you literally can’t anymore, until you’re doubled over and wheezing, coughing, hacking, panting.

Some primal survival instinct clicks in your brain then, and suddenly, your mind is clear. You glance around, swiping at your cheeks and brushing the ash from your shirt.

Now what?

You take a shaking breath and think.

Okay, first order of business, you’re absolutely disgusting. You need a shower before you can even think about doing anything productive.

Your bathroom just went up in flames, along with all of your clothes. Your heart clenches as you think of Ana - she’s at university, so that’s out. The embassy has a nice bathroom, but no showers that you’re aware of.

There’s only one place you know to go, and that’s Javi’s apartment.

You glance up at the sky. The sun is still pretty low - it can’t have been more than an hour since you’d left work, and that was around seven am. Javi obviously isn’t home, and you don’t have a key, but if you hurry, there’s still a chance that you could catch Murphy before he leaves his flat.

It’s a long shot, but you decide there’s nothing to lose for trying.

[veliseraptor]

Hi! Can you give a brief spoilery summary of the Untamed? I just read [the pretties from your posts] died? Oh no. I tried getting information through google but it’s confusing for someone who doesn’t know the characters.

oh lord. there are all kinds of ‘brief summaries of the Untamed’ out there but I’ve always found them vaguely irritating so...I guess that means it’s time for my comeuppance in the form of having to do it myself? I’ll do my best.

I didn’t know how detailed you wanted me to get so I decided to get pretty detailed, since you did ask for spoilery. so this is like. entirely spoilers. spoilers for everything.

also, you can use, if it’s helpful, my brief character overview (‘brief’) which includes some plot information, and could be useful as cross reference also. I’m playing pretty fast and loose with a lot of terminology for the sake of intelligibility, because otherwise this would get even longer and have a lot more links.

also, because you asked me specifically for this, it’s going to have some bias. I tried to keep my interpretive commentary to a relative minimum? but. uh. yeah.

the briefest basic plot overview is (going off The Untamed canon, which you will also see abbreviated as CQL from the pinyin transliteration of the Chinese title (Chen Qing Ling)):

Wei Wuxian, a cultivation (think, loosely, magic) prodigy and creator of his own particular style of cultivation, dies reviled by most of the known world. Sixteen years later he’s raised from the dead by Mo Xuanyu, an outcast and the bastard son of one of the leaders of the main sects of the cultivation world, in order to take revenge on Mo Xuanyu’s enemies (specifically his abusive family and ~an unknown person~).

And here is where we get into the details.

Pretty much immediately upon Wei Wuxian’s resurrection, people start dying at Mo Manor, before Wei Wuxian has even done anything, because of (it turns out) a very angry spirit of a semi-sentient weapon. Wei Wuxian books it out of town after his old best friend/crush Lan Wangji shows up to help the Lan ducklings he’s shepherding (including most notably Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi, the only named characters of that bunch), only to wind up running into him again on the road - and not only him, but his orphaned nephew (shorthand, go with it) Jin Ling (Wei Wuxian was responsible for his parents’ deaths) and Jiang Cheng, his martial brother who (at least according to rumor) killed him sixteen years ago and still bears a hell of a grudge. In order to save Jin Ling, Wei Wuxian summons the “Ghost General” Wen Ning, who was supposed to be destroyed and whose presence confirms his identity to a very pissed off Jiang Cheng. Lan Wangji recognizes Wei Wuxian as well. Wei Wuxian passes out.

followed any of that? no? that’s fine, because now we’re heading into a thirty episode flashback that’ll clarify some things. (but not before you forget a whole bunch of things from the first two episodes.)

I’m going to split this into arcs. I’m also going to put this under a read more, because...yeah, this came out to just a little over 10,500 words. I’m...sorry.

have fun?

Cloud Recesses Summer School Arc

The time card says “sixteen years earlier” but it isn’t sixteen years earlier because that would make no sense, but it’s better to give up on timeline now or you’ll just drive yourself nuts.

This is the part of the show where you meet the main characters, some of whom you saw earlier (notably Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian’s younger sort-of brother), and some of whom you only know from reference (Jiang Yanli, Wei Wuxian’s older sort-of sister) and some of whom are significantly important (Lan Wangji). You also meet Jin Zixuan, the snotty heir to the Jin Sect, who will be important later. Jiang Yanli is clearly into him and he seems to very much not return the feelings.

At this point, there are five main sects that the characters belong to. They are (with the characters you’ve met from them so far: the Jiang Sect (Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Yanli), the Nie Sect (Nie Huaisang, a flighty and sort of feckless fellow), the Jin Sect (Jin Zixuan, his social skills translator Mianmian), the Lan Sect (Lan Wangji, his brother Lan Xichen) as well as the Wen Sect (more on them in a moment). Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian meet and immediately...something. Wei Wuxian wants to make friends, and Lan Wangji seems to emphatically Not.

You also meet Meng Yao, who is Nie Huaisang’s brother Nie Mingjue’s right hand man, and also the bastard son of Jin Guangshan (the leader of Jin Sect). He is also the son of (using the words of literally everyone) a prostitute, which people remind him of at every possible moment, in case he was in danger of forgetting, or something. He and Lan Xichen have kind of a moment. 

Later on, members of the Wen Sect, led by Wen Chao storm in, posturing disrespectfully, and drop off Wen Qing to “learn” (but secretly she has a mission looking for the Yin Iron/Metal). The Wen are ascendant in power and seem to be flexing their muscle looking for trouble. 

Wen Qing comes as a set with her brother Wen Ning - the pair of them are from sort of...a secondary branch of the main Wen family, and she’s being coerced into supporting Wen Ruohan despite being not thrilled about it. Wei Wuxian bonds with Wen Qing’s younger brother Wen Ning, who has a weird situation that makes him vulnerable to possession (this is important later).

At one point Wei Wuxian proposes - in response to a question! He’s just being innovative! - to put it simply, necromancy, which is, to say the least, not a hit. Remember that for later!

Eventually, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian end up falling by accident into some ice caves, where they learn from one of Lan Wangji’s ancestors (Lan Yi, she’s cool) about the Yin Iron, of which she has a piece. It is an spiritually corrupted metal that can’t be destroyed so it was broken into pieces and hidden in different places. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji resolve jointly to find the other pieces.

Wei Wuxian, Jiang Yanli, and Jiang Cheng (henceforth “the Yunmeng siblings”) are picked up early by Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng’s dad (Jiang Fengmian) because Wei Wuxian causes problems both on purpose and not. Wei Wuxian, however, puts together that Lan Wangji is going off on his own chasing the Yin Iron, and ditches the rest of his family to go help.

Yin Iron Hunt Arc

Wei Wuxian meets up with Lan Wangji, who is not thrilled to see him (at least, apparently). They run into Nie Huaisang, who joins them. They come to a town where everyone seems to have vanished and there is nothing fishy going on in the cave with the statue that looks like a dancing lady at all. Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng leaves home to go track down Wei Wuxian and bring him back.

The statue comes to life, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji fight together to defeat it, and then a bunch of...undead villagers (sort of, they get better) attack them, only to be lured away by Wen Qing playing a flute (this ability will never be brought up again). Jiang Cheng reveals himself as having been hanging out watching this go down. Ultimately, by killing the Stygian Pigeon that belongs to Wen Chao, the villagers are freed and they move on.

After a brief stopover in a village, they hear some rumors about a haunted house and take off to go check it out. When they get there, everyone is dead and Xue Yang is on the roof just kind of vibing. Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan manage to get him pinned down and taken captive. This is important and not just because I said so.

Nie Huaisang, who Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Wangji ditched in town, arrives here with Meng Yao, who proposes bringing Xue Yang to Nie Mingjue for justice purposes (which when I write it like that sounds...um. moving right along), which is where everyone heads next, less Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan who have their own things to do. Wei Wuxian realizes that Xiao Xingchen had the same master as his mother, and gets really excited about it; it’s adorable.

They go to Nie Mingjue, who is talked out of executing Xue Yang because they’re trying to find out where he put the Yin Iron (which they figure he has, because reasons. there are reasons, I just don’t feel like going into it.) Lan Wangji leaves in the night without saying goodbye, and then Wen Chao arrives. He is accompanied by Wen Zhuliu, who is called the Core-Melting Hand for reasons that will be important later. There’s a fight, Xue Yang gets loose, and Nie Mingjue finds Meng Yao in a very compromising position (killing a captain of the guard and among a bunch of other dead bodies). He kicks Meng Yao out of the Nie Sect.

Meanwhile, the Wens attack Cloud Recesses. Lan Xichen’s uncle makes him leave to preserve himself and the most important texts. Everyone retreats to a cave that’s hidden and walled off; Su She (who was introduced briefly earlier) caves to threats to his life and tells the Wens how to get into the Lan’s cave sanctuary. Lan Wangji returns with Lan Yi’s Yin Iron and gives it and himself up to Wen Chao’s older brother Wen Xu to spare everyone else.

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian leave for home (Lotus Pier). We witness family dynamics, which are terrible. The Wens want everyone to send their kids, specifically their heirs, to be reeducated in Wen territory, but they’re not hostages, we swear. No, really.

Reeducation Camp Arc

To reeducation camp with the Wens we go! Where Lan Wangji is not looking so hot, and Wei Wuxian rapidly causes problems on purpose to try to get to talk to him, but mostly just ends up getting himself tossed in a dungeon where he gets attacked by a very bad puppet of a dog. Wen Qing has told Wen Ning not to associate with Wei Wuxian because they’re on thin ice with their boss (Wen Ruohan), but Wen Ning sneaks him some medicine against Wen Qing’s orders anyway.

They go on a hunt, with the non-Wens featuring as bait. Here is where you meet Wen Chao’s main squeeze Wang Lingjiao, who was formerly a servant. Everyone ends up in a cave that contains a creature whose name is unfortunately translated as “Tortoise of Slaughter.” we’ll go with “Xuanwu of Slaughter” instead, it feels better. Wen Chao and his accompanying entourage make a run for it and ditch everyone else in the cave; they manage to sneak out but Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji end up trapped with no way out. They team up and kill the Xuanwu, partially because Wei Wuxian acquires a very cursed sword. Afterward, he is feverish and asks Lan Wangji to sing - enter Wuji! their theme. You see Lan Wangji mouth that it is called “Wangxian” before Wei Wuxian passes out. (Yes, he did name his composition after their ship name. Aww.)

I’ve skated through that very fast but it is important because it’s like...the point where they seriously bond in a major way and it’s all very...like, there was only one bed only they’re trapped in a cave and injured and forced to rely on each other. So not actually really like that.

Wei Wuxian comes around outside of the cave with Jiang Cheng and Jin Zixuan, who brought help to rescue him and Lan Wangji; Lan Wangji, however, is gone.

Oh Shit Things Went Downhill Fast Arc

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian go back to Lotus Pier, where Wei Wuxian is in big trouble with Jiang Cheng’s mother (Yu Ziyuan, seen later emotionally terrorizing all her children), who already doesn’t like him and accuses him of bringing trouble down on them by defying the Wens. Jiang Cheng’s dad is terrible, Wei Wuxian reaffirms that he and Jiang Cheng will be Together Forever, you, the viewer, know that is absolutely not how that’s going to go.

Word comes that the Wen have attacked one of the smaller sects, and Jiang Cheng’s dad (Jiang Fengmian) goes with Jiang Yanli to talk to Jin Guangshan about how to deal with the Wens.

Then Wang Lingjiao arrives with word that they’re gonna be in big trouble if they don’t punish Wei Wuxian right now. Yu Ziyuan uses her lightning whip to beat the shit out of Wei Wuxian, but Wang Lingjiao wants her to cut off his hand. Then she makes the mistake of saying that they’ll be making Lotus Pier a supervisory office of the Wens, thank you.

Yu Ziyuan reacts...poorly, Wang Lingjiao calls on her backup Wen Zhuliu (and everyone else); seeing the writing on the wall Yu Ziyuan grabs Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, puts them on a boat, and sends them away, bequeathing her sick-ass lightning whip (Zidian) to Jiang Cheng. They run into Jiang Fengmian and Jiang Yanli; Jiang Fengmian adds Jiang Yanli to the boat full of crying children and goes to sail back to Lotus Pier.

Lotus Pier falls, everybody dies, Jiang Cheng goes semi-catatonic and then disappears, having been captured by the Wens after going back for his parents’ bodies. (Which is more important than it probably sounds, from a Western perspective.) Wei Wuxian follows him and finds Wen Ning, who smuggles Jiang Cheng out and takes him, Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Yanli to Wen Qing for safekeeping.

Jiang Cheng wakes up; his golden core (the...thing that lets him do superpowered things, let’s go with that) was destroyed by Wen Zhuliu. Melted, if you will. And it’s not the kind of thing you can just, you know, fix. He descends into absolute despair as Wei Wuxian looks frantically for a way to fix it - and finds one! Though Wen Qing is not happy about it, she still agrees.

at this point we see the return of an old friend! Song Lan, who has a bloody bandage over his eyes, but has eyes that work, despite the fact that he was blinded by Xue Yang who also killed his entire temple. He explains that Xiao Xingchen said that he was taking Song Lan to his master Baoshan Sanren, the immortal who can cure anything, and doesn’t remember anything else.

Wei Wuxian takes Jiang Cheng to Baoshan Sanren to get his core back. Psych! It’s a lie that he totally made up to explain the fact that he’s actually getting his own core transplanted into Jiang Cheng in a highly experimental procedure. Importantly, Wei Wuxian does not tell Jiang Cheng this.

Post-surgery, rather battered Wei Wuxian gets caught by Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao, who torture him and then throw him into a place called the Burial Mounds, which is more or less what it sounds like, is Very Cursed, and from which no one has emerged alive. Then this happens:

(I want you to appreciate how hard I’ve tried to not put any screencaps in here. but I had to do this one. I just had to.)

and you go oh shit and also well that’s sexy.

Jiang Cheng, delighted to have his core back, descends the mountain only to find that Wei Wuxian is...not there.

Cool! That seems fine.

Sunshot Campaign Arc

Timeskip to three months later! The rest of the sects have allied together to take down the Wen Sect (this is what ‘Sunshot Campaign’ refers to, because the symbol of the Wens is a sun). Things aren’t looking good for the Wens, including Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao. Wang Lingjiao hallucinates to the sound of a flute and ends up killing herself. Meanwhile, Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng have teamed up to look for Wei Wuxian. On their way, they start finding piles of Wen bodies killed in a mysterious and grotesque manner involving an unfamiliar method of cultivation.

(Side note: around now is where Jiang Cheng frees Wen Qing from where she was imprisoned by the Wens for being a dirty traitor during the war and gives her the comb of pining he bought way back in the Cloud Recesses arc, telling her that he will help her if she asks. This isn’t...exactly important, except I wanted to note it.)

Eventually, they find a house where Wen Chao has holed up with Wen Zhuliu, and watch as it’s revealed that he has gone through some nasty shit, is terrified and traumatized and badly injured. Ominous signs: begin to happen! Flames going out: happen! Shots of someone climbing slowly and menacingly up stairs: happen! 

Yeah, it’s Wei Wuxian. New and improved, darker and meaner and very sexy about it, and with a new sick-ass flute. He starts attacking Wen Chao, and when Wen Zhuliu moves to attack Wei Wuxian Jiang Cheng jumps down and hangs Wen Zhuliu with Zidian. Lan Wangji confronts Wei Wuxian about this darker and meaner version and Wei Wuxian breaks up with him; Lan Wangji leaves Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian to kill Wen Chao because the family that murders together stays together!

(They won’t, but.)

The war goes on, but the tides have turned, and the Wens are losing. Both of Wen Ruohan’s sons are dead. Soup drama happens here, which I don’t need to explain fully but it is clear that Wei Wuxian is extremely emotionally unstable, and also will no longer carry his sword despite everyone telling him he needs to carry his sword. All is not well with the Wei Wuxian! But nobody knows why. Lan Wangji’s repeated “LET ME FIX YOU” overtures are not well received. Lan Wangji also has a nice conversation about how the Lan rules did not prepare him for moral complexity.

Eventually Nie Mingjue proposes going to attack Wen Ruohan on his own while the others move on the Wen stronghold at Nightless City (at this point, they have received a map of Wen defenses from a ~mysterious spy~). Nie Mingjue is captured, and it is revealed that Meng Yao decided that after getting kicked out of Qinghe he could find a better boss somewhere else. Outside, an undead army shows up to kick everyone else’s ass. Things don’t look good for our heroes!

Wei Wuxian brings out his secret weapon the Yin Tiger Seal and...takes over the undead army. This is very troubling to everyone involved, but it does bring Wen Ruohan out to see what the deal is. Wei Wuxian delivers one of the sickest lines in the entire show:

(i’m restraining myself! trust me! i am!)

so yeah, that’s a normal and reassuring thing to say.

And then Meng Yao stabs Wen Ruohan in the back. And that’s it for Wen Ruohan! Our major antagonist is dead! Surely everything will be fine now.

Well We Won the War, Now What Arc

[cracks knuckles] and here’s where the politics starts.

Ready and totally psyched to step into the power vacuum left by the fall of the Wens is Jin Guangshan! Leader of the Jin Sect, least impacted by the war by vitue of joining up late. He recognizes Meng Yao as his son now that he’s, like, someone that is valuable to him politically, and Meng Yao gets a commensurate name change > Jin Guangyao. Pretty much immediately Jin Guangshan starts manuevering to consolidate power - pushing to marry Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan, pushing to get access to Wei Wuxian’s Yin Tiger Seal, subtly undermining everyone else...the works.

Jin Guangshan is the worst, is what I’m saying here.

Meanwhile, Nie Mingjue is very unhappy about the whole “Meng Yao helping the Wens and fucking with him when he’s captured” thing, but then Lan Xichen (remember, Lan Wangji’s older brother) steps in and reveals that Jin Guangyao was a spy delivering information, actually, and also saved his life when he was on the run from the Wens, so don’t hurt him please. Nie Mingjue is still very suspicious, but he backs off. Subsequently, after agreeing to place the Wen (civilian) captives in a holding camp, Jin Guangyao has them killed (impliedly at the order of his father).

We are given cues that Jin Guangyao is bad news. Like, heavy cues. If you are me this makes you love him.

This is also where Lan Xichen, Nie Mingjue, and Jin Guangyao become sworn brothers, which is a big deal.

Meanwhile, back in Lotus Pier, Wei Wuxian is...not doing so hot! He’s drinking heavily, shirking his responsibilities in a way that is making Jiang Cheng particularly very upset with him, generally being weird and traumatized but nobody knows how to deal with that, or him. Then Jin Zixuan arrives to invite everyone to a special hunt being hosted by his father including Jiang Yanli because he, he means his mom, really wants her to be there.

The hunt goes great! By that I mean Jin Zixuan is a spectacular failure at expressing his feelings to Jiang Yanli, Wei Wuxian almost starts a fight with Jin Zixuan, Jin Zixuan’s enormous asshole cousin gets nasty until Jiang Yanli makes him apologize, in a seriously badass moment. The whole thing comes off with Wei Wuxian really not looking good, including his decision to ditch the celebratory banquet. But also Jiang Yanli getting a liiiiittle closer to something she wants (i.e. Jin Zixuan). Jiang Cheng is like “dude what the fuck” at Wei Wuxian and gets zero percent explanation. Meanwhile everyone in the vicinity pokes at his massive insecurities, because the cultivation world’s favorite activity is actually gossip.

Things only get worse at the very bad after party. This is where we meet Su She again, who has gone and founded his own sect! Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji are sort of bitchy about it. But the real issue comes when Zixun peer pressures Lan Xichen into drinking despite the fact that it’s pretty solidly against the rules of the Lan Sect. Lan Xichen does it with a very “fuck you” smile, despite Jin Guangyao’s attempts to forestall the situation.

(I feel like I have not expressed the relationship between Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen? It’s a whole thing. Let’s just say that it’s a fairly popular ship for a reason.)

Lan Wangji, however, is not as diplomatic as his brother.

And then Wei Wuxian arrives! To ruin another party. Because he found Wen Qing wandering around in the streets and turns out that Wen Ning was taken prisoner by Jin Zixun and friends and removed to whereabouts unknown. Wei Wuxian proceeds to give the sexiest countdown ever to annihilating Jin Zixun if he doesn’t tell him where Wen Ning is.

Wen Ning, unfortunately, is in a pile of bodies. Because the Jin have been...well, experimenting on Wen prisoners, basically. Wen Ning is...not dead in this universe because censorship, but everything makes more sense if you just say “he’s basically dead and Wei Wuxian resurrects him to fuck up everyone in the vicinity who was responsible for his death, which is...everyone other than the other Wens. Eventually Wei Wuxian stops him by yelling his second (courtesy) name that no one else has used for him in speech up to this point (Wen Qionglin), because love is stored in the name. Wei Wuxian gathers up the survivors and takes off only to run into Lan Wangji standing in his way.

They have a point of no return moment. Wei Wuxian basically says “let me go or you have to kill me” only it’s better than that because what he actually says is like “if I’m going to be killed I should be killed by you, then I would know it was right” and it’s a whole fucking thing and anyway Lan Wangji steps aside and lets them all go and it is quite literally “I’m not crying, it’s just raining on my face” except he is also crying.

So...fuck.

Burial Mounds Arc

Wei Wuxian takes the Wens to the one place nobody’s probably going to follow them: namely, the Burial Mounds. Home sweet home!

Outside in the main world, rumors are flying about the army Wei Wuxian is building and the sect he’s planning to found and how ambitious he is and how he’s disrespecting Jiang Cheng and actually Jiang Cheng he probably never loved you anyway and is better and stronger and what are you good for, but I’m saying this out of concern and to be helpful (paraphrased from Jin Guangshan).

Accordingly, Jiang Cheng agrees to go and check things out and see what’s going on in Chez Burial Mounds. What is going on is basically a bunch of civilians eking out a very depressing living. There is also a child, a-Yuan, who is adorable. This will also be important later.

(are you keeping track of all this?)

Jiang Cheng also goes to see Wen Ning, who is...recovering from being dead/undead and Wei Wuxian is working on fixing him. Jiang Cheng says he has to die, and Wei Wuxian has to come home, and things are really bad, man, so stop worrying about these losers and avoid the entire cultivation world being really pissed with you, maybe?

Wei Wuxian isn’t going for it, and tells Jiang Cheng to cut him out of Jiang Sect in order to protect Jiang Sect’s reputation. It’s upsetting. They stage a very dramatic duel and Jiang Cheng announces that friendship ended with Wei Wuxian, he has no new friend actually.

This is also where Wen Qing significantly returns the comb of pining that Jiang Cheng gave her way back (remember that?) and is like. so you wouldn’t’ve helped me and Wen Ning actually, would you. And that is the end of Chengqing as a sidebar ship that never really sailed. Well done, you two.

Meanwhile, Jin Zixuan gets his shit together and proposes to Jiang Yanli by way of making her a lotus pond at Jinlintai. So that’s nice!

A bit later Lan Wangji comes to visit! Only it’s totally coincidental, he was just passing through, that’s all. He and Wei Wuxian hang out for a little while, pretending things are sort of normal, but they have to rush back to the Burial Mounds because the Wen Ning is out. They manage to get him under control and awaken him to proper consciousness again, though! Great! Things are looking up. :)

Lan Wangji does not stay for dinner, though. :(

In my notes I have written “meanwhile...political shitshow” and that is basically a summation of what’s up in places that aren’t the Burial Mounds. Specifically, Jin Guangshan, who seems to have deputized Jin Guangyao to do his dirty work generally, is making noises about how something needs to be done about that Wei Wuxian, and what about that Yin Tiger Seal anyway, doesn’t it seem Yin Iron-like, shouldn’t something like that not be in the hands of a random person? Probably it should be in someone else’s hands instead. Someone responsible with no ulterior motives. You know.

Also in here...somewhere, Mianmian tries to stand up for Wei Wuxian being maybe right about some things, gets shouted down, and decides to leave the Jin Sect entirely. Like...just walks out. Several people look at her like ‘you can do that?’, Lan Wangji is jealous, it is a total boss move. Mianmian hasn’t been a major character but this is important enough and cool enough that I had to mention it.

Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng come to Yiling (by the Burial Mounds) for a very secret rendezvous where Wei Wuxian gets to see Jiang Yanli’s beautiful wedding dress and eat some of her famous soup and it is very sweet and nice and Jiang Cheng is like “so do you have a plan for if everyone attacks you” and Wei Wuxian is like “absolutely. I will kill everyone is my plan.”

also possibly Jiang Yanli is already pregnant at this point??? she and Jiang Cheng are certainly exchanging a lot of conspiratorial smiles when she tells Wei Wuxian to give her future son a courtesy name.

She is for sure pregnant later, because there is a baby named Jin Ling who shows up! (Remember that name? No? He was the bratty teenager from episode 2.)  Jin Guangshan does not allow Jin Guangyao to hold the baby, for which he deserves what he gets. For Jin Ling’s 100 day/three month (again! timelines, fuck em) celebration, Jiang Cheng, Jin Zixuan, and Lan Wangji tag team to get Wei Wuxian invited, where he will come and it will be nice and everyone will discuss this Yin Tiger Seal issue like civilized people.

An invitation is sent for Wei Wuxian to come to the celebration! Wonderful! This is in no way going to go horribly wrong.

Oh Shit, Things Went Downhill Fast (Take Two) Arc

It goes horribly wrong.

On the way to Jinlintai to greet his new baby nephew, accompanied by Wen Ning, Wei Wuxian is confronted by - surprise! - Jin Zixun, accusing Wei Wuxian of putting a curse on him. Wei Wuxian denies it, naturally, since he didn’t. Jin Zixun decides the best way to deal with this situation is to kill Wei Wuxian, which will definitely break the curse that Wei Wuxian definitely cast on him.

He attacks, and Wen Ning goes Ghost General on everyone’s ass, and Wei Wuxian brings out his flute. Things are looking pretty hairy when Jin Zixuan shows up to call off the fight, trying to get Wei Wuxian to back down; he does not back down, because that would just mean getting shot full of arrows.

Wen Ning, who seems to have completely lost his mind, fists Jin Zixuan. Through the chest. This does, in fact, kill him.

His dying words are to say that Jiang Yanli is still waiting for Wei Wuxian to show up, just to make everything worse. Wen Ning kills Jin Zixun as well. This is not actually what Wei Wuxian wanted to happen.

Back at the Burial Mounds! In the wake of Jin Zixuan’s death, an ultimatum has been issued to give up the Wen siblings or else. This is pretty clearly (in my opinion) a pretext that doesn’t mean anything, but Wen Qing and Wen Ning have already decided to sacrifice themselves. Maybe they’re hoping it’ll work? Or at least that it’ll give Wei Wuxian some time? Wen Qing knocks Wei Wuxian out so he can’t stop them. The whole thing is really fucking heartbreaking.

Wei Wuxian comes around and goes to Jinlintai, where he sees Jiang Yanli, who is mourning her dead husband who got killed by her baby brother! Cool! She sees Wei Wuxian but he runs before she can say anything, partly because guards have been sicced on him. He is pretty clearly having a mental breakdown, hallucinations and all!

Cut to a gathering of...pretty much everyone important and all their followers at Nightless City, for a combination commemorating the dead/affirming the deaths of Wen Ning and Wen Qing/gearing up to kill Wei Wuxian.

Who spares them the effort of coming to find him by showing up on the roof! He proceeds to sic dark magic on everyone there except, conspicuously, for the Jiang Sect. Lan Wangji arrives to defuse the situation and fails to defuse the situation until Wei Wuxian hears Jiang Yanli calling for him.

Because she’s arrived on an active battlefield! Not her best idea but it’s not like I can actually blame her considering the week she’s having.

Wei Wuxian goes to look for her, as does Jiang Cheng who also heard her, and...suddenly loses control of his dark magic. Cool! One of the...undead? people there wounds Jiang Yanli. Even better! Jiang Cheng pleads with Wei Wuxian to get things under control, which he can’t! They have a moment while a lot of people around them are dying but you know what, they deserve it.

because like literally a second later Jiang Yanli pushes Wei Wuxian out of the way of a sword meant to stab him in the back and instead takes it herself. And dies.

So. Yeah.

Wei Wuxian loses the last threads of his sanity and destroys the Yin Tiger Seal. While everybody is fighting over it, he goes over to the edge of a cliff, and now we’re back here where we started! With Lan Wangji clinging to Wei Wuxian’s hand as he dangles over the edge of a cliff and tells him to let go.

Jiang Cheng arrives to defuse the situation, by which I mean “he tells Wei Wuxian to go die and stabs down.” He only hits rock; Wei Wuxian breaks himself loose of Lan Wangji’s grip and falls. You are left on the image of Lan Wangji’s absolutely devastated face.

nice! great. well, that brings us up to speed for the flashforward to the future, where you have probably completely forgotten what happened in the first two episodes.

For instance: remember how we saw Wen Ning despite the fact that he’s supposed to be ashes? Yeah.

And We’re Back in the Present Now Arc (Good Times in Qinghe Arc)

For some reason this is the part of the show where I remember the least and it all kind of blurs together with the exception of one scene? so I had to go look at Wikipedia episode summaries to make sure I was putting things in the right order.

Back in the present at the Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji discover that the very angry sword spirit last seen killing people at Mo Manor (remember that?) is pointing them in the direction of Qinghe (the Nie Sect territory). They leave to go there and run into Jin Ling, who semi-accidentally terrorizes Wei Wuxian by way of dog. 

By asking around, they also learn that there are rumors of a man-eating fortress in the woods, and that it hasn’t been dealt with because the leader of the Nie Sect is absolutely useless. The leader of the Nie Sect who is now - hey, been a while! - Nie Huaisang, since his older brother disappeared under mysterious circumstances after losing his mind years ago.

The dynamic duo go off to investigate the man-eating fortress, naturally, and what they find is a tomb full of swords and a wall full of skeletons, and also Jin Ling. 

They remove Jin Ling from the wall, Lan Wangji goes chasing a mysterious attacker, and Wei Wuxian takes Jin Ling to safety only to end up running into - oh boy! - Jiang Cheng. 

They have a calm talk about their feelings and address their dysfunction in a reasonable manner. 

Nope! Jiang Cheng corners Wei Wuxian with Jin Ling’s dog, throws a cup of tea at a wall, and yells at Wei Wuxian about how he both didn’t come home right away and also how he should die ten million times (no, like, actually). Fortunately, Jin Ling arrives, lies out his ass about how he saw Wen Ning to get Jiang Cheng to leave, and lets Wei Wuxian go. 

Back to that mysterious figure Lan Wangji went running after! Turns out it was none other than Nie Huaisang, who confesses - reluctantly - that the man-eating fortress belongs to his family and is a safe home for bloodthirsty swords after their owners die, which is a normal thing to get as a family heirloom. This is also where it becomes increasingly clear that (a) the sword spirit is Baxia, Nie Mingjue’s sword, and (b) Nie Mingjue is most likely hella dead, specifically murdered. 

With this new information, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian move on, tracking the directions of the angry sword spirit. They overhear some very depressing story about Song Lan, Xiao Xingchen, and Xue Yang, specifically how things turned out horribly for them (though without details), which drives Lan Wangji to drink.

Lan Wangji cannot hold his liquor, at all. Wei Wuxian takes his unconsciousness as an opportunity to flute Wen Ning to him again, and removes a massive metal needle from his skull, which fixes the whole “unconscious zombie” issue. Unfortunately, Wen Ning remembers nothing about what happened to him between going to Jinlintai with Wen Qing and when he heard Wei Wuxian calling by way of flute.

And now we have Drunkji, who is the most adorable, hilarious thing ever. He gives Wei Wuxian chickens, with utmost sincerity. They are wedding chickens. It is very important that Wei Wuxian have these chickens.

This interlude is not important to the plot but it is hilarious. There is also a not hilarious interlude of Lan Wangji being very sad about how he didn’t help Wei Wuxian before, and also admitting that he likes rabbits. Again: not plot important. It is adorable. 

Wei Wuxian herds Drunkji back to the inn, where a mysterious masked man attempts to steal the pouch holding the angry sword spirit, but is driven off and teleports away. Remember this guy! He’s important.

The next morning, they set off and hit the road for a place called Yi City, which if you’ve spent any time on this blog you know is deeply important in my heart if not, like, in terms of show space.

Yi City Arc Yi City Arc Yi City Arc

yes this is three episodes but this is my summary post so I get to give it its own section if I want to.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji arrive at Yi City, which is empty, and very spooky. They run into the pack of juniors (Jin Ling, Lan Sizhui, sassmaster Lan Jingyi and consummate romantic Ouyang Zizhen are the named ones), and shortly thereafter into a whole bunch of undead. They also run into a ghost (???) girl who is blind and has no tongue. They also also run into Xiao Xingchen, severely wounded.

Psych! It’s Xue Yang in disguise and he has an undead Song Lan under his control. what a fun twist this is! and he wants one thing specifically: for Wei Wuxian to help him bring someone back to life. Problem is that their soul is in need of some serious super glue and super glue doesn’t work on souls.

Xue Yang informs Wei Wuxian that his consent is optional and he will be participating in Xue Yang’s necromancy experiment fantasies whether he likes it or not. Lan Wangji objects strenuously to this idea. While Lan Wangji is fighting Xue Yang and Wen Ning is fighting Song Lan (corpse fight! corpse fight!) Wei Wuxian herds the juniors into a safe courtyard where the corpses won’t go, led by the aforementioned ghost girl, who shows them a coffin.

the coffin has Xiao Xingchen in it. The actual real one. There’s a bandage over his eyes, because he doesn’t have any.

Wei Wuxian goes into the ghost girl’s memories in order to find out what happened using a technique called Empathy, and the next chunk of things I’m just going to tell in full chronologically even though there’s a break where you don’t see all of it until an episode later.

The ghost girl, a-Qing, is a con artist who pretends to be blind; she runs into Xiao Xingchen (who is actually blind) when she steals his money, and he just gives it to her after stopping someone else whose money she stole from beating him up. A-Qing decides they’re friends now. They’ve been traveling together for...some amount of time when they stumble on a badly injured man on the side of the road. Xiao Xingchen picks him up and takes him home with him (to an abandoned coffin house in Yi City). You get one guess who he’s rescued and who is totally psyched to discover that his life has been saved by Xiao Xingchen, who doesn’t know who he is, because he’s blind.

So you know, everything is coming up Xue Yang.

What follows is three years of domestic bliss, including hits like “entire villages dying by Xiao Xingchen under sort of suspicious circumstances” and “threatening grocers.” And then who should show up but Song Lan! Looking for Xiao Xingchen and he’s so happy to have finally found him.

Only he notices Xue Yang first.

A fight ensues, in which Xue Yang...sort of talks Song Lan to death by digging into the fact that Xiao Xingchen is blind because he gave his eyes to Song Lan, actually, and Song Lan hurt him so bad when they broke up, and because Xiao Xingchen is blind Xue Yang has been able to trick him into killing living people when he thinks he’s killing undead ones, and oooh do you feel bad now, well, guess what, you’re gonna feel worse when I poison you into becoming undead and cut out your tongue. :D

And even worse when this means that Xiao Xingchen stabs him because, you know, undead monster.

Cool! Things are going great.

Or they would be only a-Qing saw everything, reveals it to Xiao Xingchen, who puts it together and greets XueYang coming back from grocery shopping with a sword (rude). They break up, and by “break up” I mean “Xue Yang reveals his tragic backstory, Xiao Xingchen is not convinced that his tragic backstory means all the murder was justified, Xue Yang decides it’s time to make this all go nuclear.” So tells Xiao Xingchen about how he’s been killing people actually! And guess what, bonus, one of those people was your BFF/life partner/whatever, Song Lan. isn’t that amazing, Xiao Xingchen, isn’t that so cool--

Xiao Xingchen kills himself and this is, it turns out, Not What Xue Yang Wanted. So guess who’s in the pouch Xue Yang was hoping to resurrect? Yeah.

Back in the present, with help from a-Qing directing Lan Wangji, Xue Yang gets...hella stabbed, but not before he kills a-Qing. Song Lan, freed from Xue Yang’s control, kills Xue Yang.

Oh yeah, and then we see Xiao Xingchen tenderly laying pieces of candy on a bed, which is symbolically important, and also Xue Yang dies looking at the last piece of candy Xiao Xingchen gave him, and now I’m going to cry. anyway Yi City Arc, you’re welcome. Where the only person who survives did not, in fact, survive!

Oh, yeah, I guess it’s also important that there’s a headless body buried here and it gets...pretty conclusively identified as Nie Mingjue because the sword spirit (remember that?) takes the shape of his very distinctive large sword (Baxia). Also Xue Yang recreated the Yin Tiger Seal but it gets snatched away by the masked man from earlier. There’s also a bunch of stuff about the Yin Iron plot but you can ignore it, it doesn’t actually really matter that much.

Honestly at that point I was crying too much to pay a whole lot of attention to the whole point of them being in Yi City to begin with. So sue me.

The Plot Thickens, and Secrets Are Revealed Arc

Exeunt Yi City, rendezvous with Lan Xichen to discuss, obliquely, who could be responsible for Nie Mingjue’s death. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji delicately imply that maybe it was Jin Guangyao; Lan Xichen is unconvinced and informs us that there are no curse marks indicating that he’d teleported on Jin Guangyao’s body, he would know, and also they’ve been together every night so he wouldn’t have time to get up to shenanigans anyway.

Hm.

Still, they go ahead together to ruin another party/investigate at Jinlintai, with Wei Wuxian safely in disguise (barely), unfortunately as Mo Xuanyu, who is not exactly welcome in the Jin Sect because he got kicked out of it earlier. Mo Xuanyu is a whole...thing that I’m not really going into here because the show doesn’t really get into it either.

Wei Wuxian ducks out to investigate, and in the form of an animated paper man, to the tune of music we have never heard before in this show and will never hear again (look, it’s just weird to me), goes sneaking into Jin Guangyao’s rooms to do some poking around. His investigations are interrupted when Jin Guangyao’s wife Qin Su, in a state of severe distress, returns, followed shortly by Jin Guangyao. They argue about an unknown revelation in a letter Qin Su received that has resulted in her being disgusted by...something, we don’t know what, and angry with Jin Guangyao. She accuses him of killing their kid.

Eventually he paralyzes her and removes her to a secret room through a mirror, which is a thing everyone has, especially one with a bunch of torture instruments and a body sized table with dried blood on it. Normal!

Remember how the body in Yi City was headless? Yeah, we found the head now.

And it’s time for another Empathy flashback! 

Empathy Flashback feat. Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao’s Bad Relationship Mini Arc

This time with Nie Mingjue (and Jin Guangyao). We see Jin Guangyao very quickly elevated from a servant who is spat upon by the other Nie cultivators to Nie Mingjue’s right hand man, like, literally in two seconds. Flash forward to episode 10 - remember that? - where Jin Guangyao has just been caught in a compromising murder position. Nie Mingjue accuses Jin Guangyao plotting all along and is a conniving little snake who was in league with Xue Yang (which is a thing that does not make sense, actually), and kicks him out.

We next see Nie Mingjue in Nightless City, having been captured and currently being taunted by a very sexy Meng Yao, who kills some other Nie cultivators and threatens to fuck up Nie Mingjue by shattering his sword (which would be catastrophic and is, we are informed, how Nie Mingjue’s dad died). Nie Mingjue is understandably rather displeased by this to the point of probable murder, though Lan Xichen reminds him (as he did in the previous scene) that Meng Yao was acting as a spy and Meng Yao argues that he needed to play his part.

The relationship between the two of them continues to deteriorate as Nie Mingjue becomes more unstable (something that just happens to the Nies by virtue of their cultivation style). That deterioration is being delayed by healing music from Lan Xichen. Lan Xichen teaches Jin Guangyao the healing music. Jin Guangyao seems to be possibly doing something not healing with the healing music.

This all escalates into a confrontation at the top of the stairs of Jinlintai, where Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao argue about class politics and justifiable violence (no, really) until Nie Mingjue explodes and kicks Jin Guangyao down the stairs. 

And then proceeds to, as Jin Guangyao looks on, have a qi deviation, which is...well, let’s just call it both a physical and a mental breakdown. Nie Huaisang arrives to see this happening, and while we saw this before and it looked like Nie Mingjue was threatening Nie Huaisang because he didn’t recognize him, this time it is more apparent that he’s directing it at Jin Guangyao.

Next we see, Nie Mingjue is chained to that body sized table in the secret room. Xue Yang is there, and uses Nie Mingjue’s sword to behead Nie Mingjue. He’s psyched as hell about it. If you’re me this is adorable.

And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming Arc

Flashback ends! And we are back in Jinlintai. Wei Wuxian goes to get Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen to storm Jin Guangyao’s bedroom, to which Su She objects, but Jin Guangyao eventually allows. They all file together into the secret room and look around, but there is no longer any severed head where Wei Wuxian left it. Whoops. 

Then Qin Su kills herself, Jiang Cheng arrives to defuse the situation while Jin Guangyao pleads innocent, and Wei Wuxian, by way of drawing his sword that nobody else could draw before now, reveals that he is, in fact, Wei Wuxian. Everyone in this room actually already knew this information except for Jin Ling, who is not thrilled to discover that his cool uncle is the guy who murdered his parents. Nobody else does a very good job of faking surprise.

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian make a run for it only to be cornered on the stairs. Extreme romance ensues where Lan Wangji announces his intent to stand by Wei Wuxian forever against the world. 

This is where the “I was like, SCREAMS” meme kicks in.

Anyway, after that love confession (look, they can’t say ‘I love you’ but basically) in front of everyone, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian fight their way out together and are well on the way to freedom when Jin Ling stabs Wei Wuxian. 

Nobody is happy about this, including Jin Ling.

Wei Wuxian is okay overall, though he does faint and have to get swept off to the Cloud Recesses and undressed and redressed in Lan Wangji’s underwear. Don’t worry about it. And now it’s time to talk to Lan Xichen, who is currently feeling very “what the hell is going on, you have no proof and are accusing a person I trust completely of something horrible without any proof.” 

They still don’t have any proof, but Wei Wuxian reveals that in the flashback he heard Jin Guangyao playing the soothing music but different, and it comes out that there is evil Japanese music that can kill people and be used to poison someone slowly over time. It’s literally this post:

Lan Xichen is not entirely convinced but agrees to investigate; Jin Guangyao comes to Cloud Recesses and has an absolutely heartbreaking conversation with Lan Xichen about how is our friendship over, Zewu--jun :( while Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji eavesdrop.

That conversation isn’t plot important either, I just personally find it very upsetting.

The Burial Mounds, Take Two Arc

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji leave the Cloud Recesses, heading toward the Burial Mounds because Jin Guangyao mentioned something being up there. But they end up meeting - surprise! - Mianmian, who is living her best life. This is mostly important because she is literally the only female character who makes it out of this show alive. 

She mentions that there’s been some trouble around the Burial Mounds, so they head in that direction, running into Wen Ning along the way, who has been following them around because he loves Wei Wuxian. The Burial Mounds are indeed full of active undead and they fight their way up to the old farming commune location, which is less empty than expected because there are a bunch of kids tied up in Wei Wuxian’s old lair/cave/house. Like, all of them. Including Jin Ling, who really is having a terrible time lately, and I just feel the need to note that sometimes.

As they free the children and start to leave, everyone else arrives with the plan of killing Wei Wuxian again, because once wasn’t enough and obviously he’s Up To No Good, where else would these corpses be coming from, huh? 

Speaking of corpses. 

A small army of them shows up! All the cultivators who aren’t children lose their powers! Everyone has to retreat back into the lair/cave/house where they’ll be safe! So this is all...going well.

Fortunately, everyone being stuck in one place gives Wei Wuxian the opportunity to get his Hercule Poirot on and walk everyone through a series of deductions to get them to a place of realizing that (a) they were poisoned by evil music, (b) the evil music came from Su She, (c) Su She is working for Jin Guangyao who (d) planned all of this whole ‘everyone is going to the Burial Mounds to get killed’ thing.

Su She panics, inadvertently reveals that he alone still has his powers, and teleports out. Wei Wuxian decides that a reasonable solution to all these problems is to make himself bait for all the undead so everyone else can make a run for it, because Wei Wuxian is kind of like that. 

It’s okay, though, he and Lan Wangji make a spectacular battle couple.

(Oh, yeah. Throughout here it is becoming increasingly clear that Lan Sizhui’s identity is Significant and actually we Might Have Seen Him Before.)

Back to Lotus Pier Arc, or Jin Ling Has a Very Bad Day, Continued Arc

Safely out of the Burial Mounds thanks to Wei Wuxian, everybody goes ahead and invites themselves back to Jiang Cheng’s house. To be fair, it is closest. 

My notes here say “Wen Ning figures out that Lan Sizhui is a-Yuan, Jin Ling has an emotional breakdown” which is a more or less accurate summation of the situation. Honestly, though, I feel so bad for Jin Ling at this point, he’s had an absolute nightmare of a month and then today happened and like. I feel for him.

But Wen Ning reuniting with the last remaining member of his family! Though he doesn’t...actally tell Lan Sizhui this, and Lan Sizhui doesn’t have any memories of his early years. 

Jiang Cheng reluctantly allows Wei Wuxian inside. Wen Ning has to stay on the porch, but Lan Sizhui stays with him to keep him company, because he is a good boy.

This next part...hoo boy. It’s a lot of exposition featuring two ladies who appear to relate their stories about Jin Guangyao, featuring the part where he murdered his father by using a bunch of sex workers (who then were murdered in turn, except for one), also involving necrophilia, and the one where Qin Su was Jin Guangyao’s sister, actually, and he knew it and still married her. Sect Leader Bad Takes says that’s probably why Jin Guangyao killed their kid, because children of incest inevitably have developmental problems? Yeah, sure, buddy.

Anyway, everyone starts shouting for Jin Guangyao’s head, which is very familiar to Wei Wuxian, who leaves in some disgust. While wandering with Lan Wangji, they wind up going to the family shrine (which is, to be clear, a pretty sacred place). Which is where Jiang Cheng finds them! And once again they have a reasonable and emotionally steady conversation.

Nope. Jiang Cheng talks shit trying to provoke a fight that Wei Wuxian won’t have. As he and Lan Wangji attempt to leave, Jiang Cheng pursues because he’s not done yelling dammit, lashing out with Zidian. Wei Wuxian faints, and Wen Ning arrives to stand in between him and Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng, holding Wei Wuxian’s sheathed sword (remember, the one nobody other than Wei Wuxian can draw). Wen Ning proceeds to initiate one of the single best devastating beatdowns of the show without laying a hand on Jiang Cheng, specifically by shoving the sword at Jiang Cheng and telling him to draw it, because hey you can do that now! Wonder why that is? Wouldn’t you like to know what’s going on there, Jiang Wanyin?

Remember way back when Jiang Cheng lost his core and got it back because Wei Wuxian gave him his core? Yeah, this is when he finds out about that. Psych! Your brother loves you and also the only reason you got to be as strong as you are is because he sacrificed himself for you! Which is also the reason why he took up demonic cultivation in the first place! 

Seriously, it’s so good, I love this scene. Probably one of my favorites in the whole show.

Jiang Cheng runs away; Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have a moment on a lake where Lan Wangji indulges Wei Wuxian by eating stolen lotuses with him. It’s sweeter than it sounds when I put it like that.

Guanyin Temple Arc

oh god, how do I. how do I describe Guanyin Temple. partially this is hard because by virtue of censorship about dead bodies, among probably other things, there are huge gaps that make portions of it make no sense so I’m gonna go ahead and...fill in some of those that are intelligible pretty much only with some knowledge of book plot, imo.

Wen Ning, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian go to a place called Yunping because Jin Guangyao bought some land there for some reason. There they find a slightly suspicious temple (Guanyin Temple). They come back at night, leaving Wen Ning to stand guard, and spy on the courtyard, where a bunch of conspicuously armed monks are there, along with Lan Xichen aaaaand...Jin Guangyao. 

Jin Ling arrives! And decides it’s a good idea to climb over the wall. Wei Wuxian blocks someone from shooting him by using the bamboo flute he’s been using this whole time, so he now functionally has no weapon, and also he and Lan Wangji have been exposed, so now the two of them and also Jin Ling are in the courtyard. Lan Xichen admits he was tricked and doesn’t have any of his powers. Jin Guangyao threatens Lan Wangji into sealing his by threatening Wei Wuxian with a wire. It’s sexy.

Everybody goes inside the temple, where several monks are digging up something ??? under the floor. This is never explained and that is because it is supposed to be Jin Guangyao’s mother’s body, and there are very strict rules I understand about what can be done with dead bodies in dramas like this one. Anyway, Jin Guangyao loved his mom very much and built a temple where she was buried where the statue has her face. He is exhuming her so he can take her body with him when he flees the country, which is what he was planning here. Of course, now he has a bunch of unwanted hostages (and one wanted hostage), which was not actually part of the plan.

The next person to join the party is an unconscious Nie Huaisang, brought in by Su She, who basically says “I have no idea what he was doing here but...here he is” and Jin Guangyao is like. Well, guess he’s here now. 

Next to show up is Jiang Cheng! Making an excellent and extremely dramatic entrance. Unfortunately, he still gets injured and taken down as Jin Guangyao starts poking at his very obvious emotional weak spots, including revealing that Jiang Cheng knows about the golden core thing. Wei Wuxian, who did not know that secret came out because he was unconscious at the time, goes “wait, what?” and thus ensues the epic emotional catharsis crying and yelling conversation I was waiting for for 47 episodes. Seriously, it’s really good. They end up in a place where all is not solved but things are...maybe a little better? 

Of course, they’re still hostages. 

Meanwhile, back at the dig site, something gets unearthed that is not Jin Guangyao’s mother’s body but is in fact a coffin with Nie Mingjue’s body, now complete with head, in it. The reveal also drops here that Su She has the marks that indicate he cast the curse on Jin Zixun that Jin Zixun accused Wei Wuxian of casting.

A very ugly argument ensues where everyone is poking at everyone else’s things that they’re sensitive about, until finally Lan Xichen recovers his powers and turns the tables on Jin Guangyao by putting a sword to his neck. 

The next part is basically...explaining how all the bad things that happened were Jin Guangyao’s fault? Or at least that’s the explanation given. I find it personally very frustrating as a narrative choice and sort of unnecessary, but maybe that’s just me. Anyway, Jin Guangyao is pleading for mercy from Lan Xichen, saying he’ll leave and never return, the whole thing is very emotional. 

We also find out that Jin Guangshan kicked Jin Guangyao down the stairs. People really need to stop doing that.

And now Wen Ning arrives! Punting Lan Sizhui in ahead of him. He is possessed by a very angry sword spirit (namely, Baxia). Lan Wangji cuts off Jin Guangyao’s right arm, because Lan Wangji likes doing that, apparently. Baxia-possessed Wen Ning then targets Jin Ling because Jin Ling has Jin Guangyao’s blood on him - only for Wen Ning to stop the blade with his bare hand and save Jin Ling’s life, because Wen Ning is both a badass and very good. 

Jiang Cheng throws Wei Wuxian his old flute, which he apparently has just been keeping under his bed or something for sixteen years, which is a thing that I will always never be over, and Wei Wuxian flutes the very angry sword into the Nie Mingjue-holding coffin.

Which would be fine, only then Nie Huaisang starts yelling about how Su She totally stabbed him, no, really, look, he’s bleeding. Baxia kills Su She. Then Wei Wuxian manages to put the sword back in the coffin, as well as the Yin Tiger Seal, and locks both away.

Whew.

Everybody’s sitting down and recovering a little as Lan Xichen tends Jin Guangyao’s wounds. He turns around to get medicine from Nie Huaisang, who tells him to look out because Jin Guangyao is attacking you!!! 

Lan Xichen runs Jin Guangyao through. 

Oh boy.

Jin Guangyao is a little impressed about Nie Huaisang having been plotting this all along. Because he was. He absolutely was. He’s absolutely been planning this for years. Everybody needs a hobby.

But it’s Lan Xichen who he really addresses here, telling him that he’d never hurt him. The actual line really hurts but I’m trying to not reproduce lines here, except I am going to say that he drags Lan Xichen - still with a sword through him! - deeper into the temple and says “stay and die with me” as the temple starts to collapse. Lan Xichen, who was about to strike and presumably push himself away, lowers his hand, and Jin Guangyao abruptly pushes him away and out of the collapsing building.

Romance!

(No, but seriously, it’s a lot.)

Thus ends Jin Guangyao. 

Outside in the courtyard, everyone’s taking a breather. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian stare longingly at each other across the room and say nothing. Jiang Cheng walks away and we learn that - surprise! - the reason Jiang Cheng was caught by the Wens way back when is because he was keeping the Wens from catching Wei Wuxian instead.

Everybody in this family in just a big circle of self sacrifice. In the words of Wen Qing:

(Who misses Wen Qing? I do!)

Anyway, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian leave with each other, only to be caught on the road by Lan Sizhui and Wen Ning - Lan Sizhui, who has remembered that he was a-Yuan and finally someone tells Wei Wuxian this, and ahhhh, okay, I know what I said about limiting screencaps but I can’t not:

Now that’s what I call a hug!

They part ways again, Lan Sizhui leaving with Wen Ning for some family time and for Wen Ning to find his own way. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian...seem like they’re going in different directions, but then they’re at Cloud Recesses together, playing music, hanging out, vibing. They talk to Nie Huaisang, but don’t directly confront him about his scheming. Mostly just making sure he’s not, you know, gonna do anything else.

Then Wei Wuxian leaves to go on a roadtrip to find himself. People really do not like this, but I personally really do like this, especially because the last shots of the show are Wei Wuxian playing his and Lan Wangji’s theme song (the one that Lan Wangji wrote, remember, from the cave? It’s come up a lot, I just haven’t mentioned it here), and when he finishes Lan Wangji’s voice says “Wei Ying” and he turns around and just like. Smiles. It’s scrunchy and happy and perfect.

Like this:

aaaaaaand scene! fifty episodes later your life has been ruined and you will never be the same.

and the thing is that this is leaving out, like. a lot, and probably is biased because I focus on different things than another person would, &c &c, but at least it might be a starting point for...the entire plot.

and also congratulations if you made it this far, I am impressed. have a screenshot of wei wuxian as a reward, whose mental breakdown does make him look sexy

you’re welcome.