#and different groups have different performances
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
ms-demeanor · 14 hours ago
Note
Hi, this is maybe a pointless question where the answer is just "that's how life works," but how do you have energy for all the things you do? You seem to be constantly juggling 50 different projects and juggling them well. You create so many community resources, do deep scientific dives on your own time, excel at work, plus maintain social and familial relationships. I was able to maintain good work performance, a hobby, and social life for maybe six months last year before I burned out
The thing is I'm juggling it badly, it's just that you see the curated version here on tumblr! I've got probably five times as many stalled and unfinished resources/projects as I have completed ones, I am in a constant state of numbness/anxiety at work (since the new company bought us I'm really, really overworked and have been putting in 10-12 hour days pretty regularly - it's why my posting and writing here has dropped off and my fiction writing is basically not happening), and I'm actually a pretty shit friend because it's difficult for me to make time to communicate with people and leave the house.
My two tricks to make it seem like I've got it together are:
Just do a lot of shit. Some of it will get finished even if you end up with a ton of abandoned projects and if you do this at a high enough volume you can still get a lot done
Join some kind of club or regular hangout event; once a month I go hang out with the same group of people i've been hanging out with for twenty years and sometimes we'll plan things outside of that group and that's most of my social life.
I am also exhausted at all times but I've got the shark version of ADHD where I feel like if I'm not doing something I'll die.
I am probably deeply in danger of burning out but I've had the same "maybe if I get hit by a car I could take a couple weeks off of school without it destroying my life" feeling since i was 10 so it's hard for me to gauge if there's a collapse of any kind coming.
Have you ever tried to get yourself to sprint by falling forward and just putting your feet in front of yourself? It's like that, but I've managed to keep my feet under me so far. I'd say "if I had to deal with any obstacles it would make me fall flat on my face" but I'm actually more productive in catastrophes so. Who knows!
Mental illness. I think the answer is mental illness. I am not a healthy example to follow and I don't want people to think that the way that I act is A) Normal B) Healthy C) Effortless D) Sustainable.
I am just obsessive and weird and I don't sleep very much and I don't leave the house very frequently. I think things were better before the pandemic, when I was doing things with the band and could go to shows because Large Bastard wasn't immune compromised, but a lot has changed in the last five years.
215 notes · View notes
crepezinhos · 2 days ago
Text
Out of Reach
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
POV: You’d never think a few small talks every now and then and effortless circus perfomances would spark such a passionate fan like him, especially when your differences segregated you two so much.
Tumblr media
⚠️ WARNINGS:
— This is an angsty SFW Oneshot (not proofread)
— Reader is FEMALE and uses SHE/HER pronouns
— AU is: 1910s
— Vet!Character x Performer!Reader
— This is a multifandom work. Characters/Fandoms included are clarified down below and in tags too.
Tumblr media
Imagine you and him, who work together in circus, the kind that resides in a train and perform from city to city. You’re a ballerina, a professional dancer, who performs with an elephant as a partner, and him, who’s been recently recruited as a vet to take care of it.
He isn’t even professional. He’s a poor man who attempted veterinary school but couldn’t handle the expenses, so he gave up and ran way from his urban life, but he still does a professional job just for you.
He doesn’t double check before you straddle the elephant, he triple-checks, quadruple-checks, and even more if it means you’ll be ok and that the elephant won’t ever have a panick attack. That’s also why he refuses to use physical punishment with it. He not only has a tremendous empathy for animals in the first place, but he also views that elephant as a sacred relic blessed by your talent and beauty. He will wake up in the middle of the night to make sure the elephant is sleeping well, he will brush every little corner of the elephant’s enormous body with multiple layers of soap, he’ll assure its little accessories and makeup are perfectly done… everything in the name of you.
How could those amused faces in the crowd not make a line for your autograph after your performances? He’d proudly be the first one on it.
He’s your secret biggest fan.
He watches every show of yours.
No matter if he has duties to do.
He’ll always find a way to sneak out or have a colleague cover for him, and watch you from a far, isolated corner in the crowd, hidden in the shadows. Even if he’s anxious and afraid you might fall or embarrassingly trip and twist an ankle when you’re standing on the elephant’s back, his eyes cannot stop admiring you.
The thrill… the beauty… the music… the costume… the dance… the art.
No matter how many times he’s watched that repeated set of actions, for him, you somehow always make something ‘new’ that make hai actions widen.
How could all the other performers only shower you with shallow compliments?
“You did really well!”
“Nice job!”
“Great performance today!”
You deserve more than just those words. You deserve someone kissing your feet, you deserve a group of maids massaging your back, you deserve a man waiting for you to get home so he can take care of your every need.
And that’s why he finally broke his own limits.
That’s why his feet were moving so quickly in your direction, breathing almost uncontrolled, for some reason fearing that you’d somehow disappear if he didn’t reach you in time, fearing that someone would say what he had to say to you first and make his words lose meaning.
You looked hypnotizing even when you were just sitting on top of a random crate. The moonlight making your jewelry and glossy eyes sparkle like a diamond and your dress accentuating your fine curves… he desperately desired to watch you from a close distance, but he knew that’d reasonably creep you out.
“Y/N.” His whole body shivered as he pronounced your name after so many days without saying it to you.
Your zoned-out face finally seemed to be brought back to reality with his figure standing some inches away from you, but as soon as you paid attention to him, your nose couldn’t help but detect the smell.
He works with your dear elephant, and that means he needs to clean the kilograms of rotting shit it eliminates of its body and carry it out of the train. The lack of access to showers makes the smell stick to his every cell of his body like a parasite, a fucking leech that always made your expressions of him be low for any situation that wasn’t veterinary. Especially considering his constant timid behavior, he looked like nothing but a random loser to you.
And he obviously couldn’t help but remember all the others reasons why you’d feel disgusted to him when he looked at a mirror. His calloused hands due to manual labour, the dirt under the tip of his nails, his oily and unwashed hair, the dust, feces and dirt spread around his body and his clothes, which probably had already became permanent stains at this point, his yellowish teeth, his tired eyes, and that stupid fly that has been annoyingly following him and hanging around his space for these last minutes.
No matter if he had a cute face behind all those layers of grubbiness and unsanitary life conditions.
That’s why you flinched away, and your hand immediately moved to pinch your nose and stop your nasals to absorb and taste his smell.
Oh.
How could he forget?
How could he forget that he has no chance with you? How could he allow himself to walk so confidently to you as if he was your closest friend? Or as if you cared about what he had to say?
Perhaps… was your performance tonight what made him feel this way? This delusional? Was that how much you inspired him? Well, he should just disappear now, shouldn’t he? He’s a bother, isn’t he?
You immediately gasped and put your hand on top of your mouth as soon as you realized your wrong and saw his excited face die in a blink and become embarrassed due to that.
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—” You stood up, trying to make your apology seem more genuine and respectful, but he immediately fought you back.
“No, no. It’s ok.” No matter how genuine his smile looked, he couldn’t make eye contact with you anymore, and that made your heart ache in regret. “I understand.” He reached a hand to the back of his neck and begun scratching it as a way to control himself as he prepared to organize his confession.
He bit his inferior lip for a few seconds, and you made sure to wait if that meant he’d forgive your attitude.
“I just wanted to say that…” He had to pause again if he didn’t want to pass out. “Your performance was absolutely mesmerizing tonight.” The gentle tone and sway of his voice towards your ears made your heart ache even more for him.
He felt afraid of course, but every syllable pronounced was vital. How could he be 100% honest to you when that’s how you reacted to his presence? But he still somehow dearly hoped his determination would mean something to you. That your artistic mind could interpret his choice of words and perhaps remember that moment for the next years.
How could you treat your own vet like that?! After all the work he does for your elephant, that’s how you treat him as? After all those small talks you two shared throughout those months? And considering those small talks were centered around you, it made you even worse for him.
He’s not even ugly in the first place. His facial features and manly and sharp, his eyes are catchy, his hands and fingers are long, and his body is slim and healthily worked-out.
“I…” You couldn’t even react to it. You were truly taken aback and felt with those words. “Thank you… I-I’m sorry for—” He immediately started nodding his head side-to-side.
“No need to apologize.” He shrugged his shoulders and began to turn back, but those damn words in the tip of his tongue that were begging to come out couldn’t be held back anymore. “Have a good night, Ms. Y/N. I’ll make sure Ella is prepared for tomorrow.” No matter if his heart was too overwhelmed with anxiety and his stomach with butterflies, he was disappointed at himself for even bothering you in the first, so he immediately started walking away from you before you could say anything else.
And you pathetically decided to let him go, regretting that decision more and more with every step of his, but only silence could be heard between you two.
At least he was glad that you seemed touched by him.
He was glad he said the things he needed to say, even if you’d never look at him the same way he looks at you, according to his thoughts.
So he walked home with blood running roughly on his cheeks, and a smile that couldn’t find rest.
Tumblr media
Diluc, Kazuha, Zhongli, Itto, Gorou, Xiao, AlHaitham, Kinich, Neuvillette, Kabukimono, Ororon, Cyno
Luocha, Kakavasha, Dan Heng, Blade, Gepard, Sunday
Jiyan, Calcharo, Xiangli Yao
Tumblr media
Taglist: @amoyanderes @shyentsfoundherink @kindofshyent @the-stinky-winky @goofy-ego @bigmantiddys @alatusorrow @luminieee
154 notes · View notes
niallerspayno · 2 days ago
Text
My Sunshine
Tumblr media
Masterlist
You’re the bubbly, optimistic junior stylist working with One Direction. While you easily connect with the other boys, Zayn Malik is a different story—quiet, grumpy, and distant. But as you share quiet moments and unexpected sparks fly between you two, you can’t deny the chemistry building. As tension grows, you both must face your fears and open up, finding that sometimes opposites really do attract.
Tags: grumpy!Zayn x sunshine!reader, slow burn, fluff
Your nerves flutter in your stomach, but you smile widely, trying to hide the way your heart races. This is your dream job. Being here, working alongside Lou Teasdale, the stylist behind some of the most iconic looks for One Direction, is everything you’ve ever wanted. You’ve trained for this moment—learning the ins and outs of makeup, hair, and fashion—but nothing could have prepared you for actually being here.
The tour itself is massive, with sold-out shows all over the world. The band is bigger than life itself, and you’re the junior makeup and hair stylist, the newest addition to the team, tasked with making sure the boys look flawless for every performance, photoshoot, and press interview. It’s a big responsibility, and you’re determined to prove yourself.
“Alright,” Lou says, her voice cutting through your racing thoughts, “Let’s go introduce you to the boys.”
You nod enthusiastically, trying to keep the nerves at bay. Lou leads you into the spacious backstage area where the boys are gathered, laughing and joking as they prep for their first show of the tour.
There they are, standing in front of you like a dream: Harry, with his signature curly hair and laid-back grin; Liam, who looks every bit the leader, confident and always on point; Louis, playful as ever, giving you a quick nod as he catches your eye; Niall, looking like he could charm anyone with a simple smile; and Zayn. Zayn, with his intense gaze and quiet demeanor, barely acknowledges your presence at first, lost in his own thoughts.
“Boys, this is the new addition to the team, Y/N,” Lou announces, her hand on your shoulder as she turns toward you. “She’ll be working closely with me as a junior makeup and hair stylist. She’s excited to be here, and I’m sure you’ll all make her feel welcome.”
You smile as brightly as you can, even though your hands are shaking slightly. “Hi, everyone. I’m so excited to work with you all.”
The boys offer various greetings—Liam gives you a friendly smile, Harry winks playfully, and Louis cracks a joke, making you laugh nervously. But it’s Zayn who catches your eye last, his expression unreadable.
“Nice to meet you,” he says quietly, barely glancing in your direction before turning back to the rest of the group.
You don’t mind. You know you have to prove yourself, and you’re ready to dive in.
Lou pats your back, guiding you toward the hair and makeup stations. “You’ve got this,” she says, her confidence in you making you feel a little less jittery.
As you follow her, your eyes flick back to the boys one last time. Zayn still doesn’t seem to notice you much, but you’re sure that will change once you start working with him. And even if he doesn’t seem impressed now, you’ll show him just how good you are at what you do.
A few weeks into the tour, and you’ve already settled into your role, though it’s a lot busier than you ever expected. Lou’s been an incredible mentor, always there to guide you, offering tips on everything from makeup application to the way the boys like their hair styled.
The boys, too, have been incredibly welcoming, with Harry cracking jokes to keep the mood light, Liam offering tips on staying organised, and Louis never missing a chance to tease you in the most endearing way possible. Even Niall, with his ever-present smile, has a way of making you feel like you belong.
The camaraderie is easy to find with everyone, except for one person—Zayn.
He’s quiet, distant, and rarely engages in the easy banter you share with the others. You’ve tried to crack him. You’ve dropped a couple of harmless comments about his style, attempting to draw him into conversation. You’ve tried joking around with him while you fix his hair or touch up his makeup, hoping that your bubbly energy will wear down his walls.
But Zayn isn’t easily swayed.
His responses are always short, and while he’s polite, it’s clear he’s not exactly interested in bonding with you. Every time you get a few words in with him, it’s like trying to break through a brick wall.
“Morning,” you greet him one day, trying to keep the mood light as you set up your station for the show’s makeup touch-ups.
He looks at you, nodding once, but doesn’t return the greeting with his usual warmth. “Hey.” His voice is low, uninterested.
You’re undeterred, though. You’ve cracked harder nuts than him.
“You know,” you say, leaning in as you prep the makeup brushes, “I think you’d look even better in a bit of eyeliner. Just a suggestion.”
Zayn doesn’t respond immediately, his gaze flicking to you for just a second. There’s a flicker of amusement in his eyes, but he quickly masks it. “I’m good, thanks.”
You sigh dramatically, dropping the brush. “What’s it going to take to make you crack, Zayn?”
The corner of his lips twitches, but he remains silent.
“You’re tough, I’ll give you that,” you say, winking at him, determined to keep pushing. “But I won’t give up. Eventually, I’ll get you laughing.”
He doesn’t answer, but there’s a slight shift in his demeanor—a subtle, almost imperceptible change. You know you’re getting under his skin, even if he’s not showing it.
“I’ll hold you to that,” Zayn mutters, walking away. But you swear you see the smallest smirk tug at his lips, and it’s enough to keep you going.
You’ve got your work cut out for you, but you’re determined. Zayn’s grumpy exterior doesn’t stand a chance against your sunshine.
It’s show day, and you and Lou are busy prepping the boys for their performance. The air is full of energy as you move between each of the boys, touching up their hair and makeup, while Lou adjusts their outfits. The camaraderie between everyone is infectious—Harry is cracking jokes, Niall is teasing Louis about his shirt, and Liam is chatting with Lou about some of the tour’s logistics.
But it’s when you move toward Zayn that the real fun begins.
“So, Y/N,” Louis calls, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he gives you a once-over, “We’ve been meaning to ask… Were you a big fan before you got this gig?”
You freeze for a split second, caught off guard by the question. You glance at Lou, who gives you a knowing smile, and the rest of the boys turn their attention to you, eagerly awaiting your answer.
“Well…” you say, clearing your throat and trying to play it cool, “Yeah. I mean, I’ve always liked your music. Who doesn’t, right?”
There’s a burst of laughter from Harry. “So you were stalking us before you showed up?”
You roll your eyes but can’t help the small smile that plays at your lips. “Okay, fine. Maybe I watched a few interviews. Maybe I definitely knew all the lyrics to your songs before this tour.”
The boys erupt in teasing, and even Lou shakes her head with a grin.
“No shame in that!” Niall chimes in. “I’m sure you weren’t the only one.”
“Alright, alright,” Liam says, putting a hand up to stop the chatter. “But now, the big question… Who was your favorite?”
You pause, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. It’s a loaded question, but you decide to own it. After all, you’ve been trying to keep things light with Zayn, even if he’s always a bit distant.
“Zayn,” you answer without hesitation.
The room goes silent, and you feel all eyes on you. There’s a moment of stunned silence before Louis grins mischievously.
“Zayn? Really?” Louis teases, waggling his eyebrows. “The quiet, brooding one?”
“Are you sure you’re not just saying that to avoid getting murdered by one of the rest of us?” Harry adds, grinning.
You laugh, shrugging with a playful smile. “Yeah, I mean, Zayn’s just… different. I like his style.” You pause, trying to find the right words. “He’s… got that quiet cool thing going on, you know?”
The other boys exchange exaggerated glances, eyes wide.
“Well, I’ll be,” Niall says, stepping forward. “I think we’ve got a match here, lads. Opposites attract, right?”
“Totally,” Liam agrees, his eyes gleaming with amusement. “So when’s the wedding?”
You roll your eyes, but the teasing continues to come.
“I mean, just look at them,” Harry says, putting on a dramatic voice. “Zayn’s the cool, mysterious guy, and Y/N is… well, sunshine in human form. It’s practically written in the stars.”
Louis snickers. “I think we need a duet, huh? Maybe ‘Opposites Attract’ for the setlist?”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Zayn mutters, barely looking up from his phone, but there’s a flicker of something in his eyes—amusement, maybe?
“Yeah, yeah, we get it,” you say, trying to keep a straight face. “You guys are hilarious.”
But the teasing doesn’t stop.
“You know,” Liam says, nudging Zayn with a grin, “I think you’ve got some competition now. Better watch out, mate.”
“Don’t worry,” Niall adds with a wink, “I think we’re all just waiting for the first romantic gesture.”
Zayn’s lips twitch slightly, but he doesn’t respond. His usual cool exterior is still there, but there’s something about the way he’s reacting—like he’s not entirely opposed to the idea.
“Alright, alright,” Louis says, raising his hands in mock surrender. “We’ll stop. But we’ve definitely got team sunshine and team stormcloud here, don’t we?”
You laugh, even though you can’t help but feel a little flustered. “Sure. You’ve had your fun.”
As you finish up with Zayn, you exchange a brief, knowing look. There’s a subtle shift in his expression—a slight smile, maybe—before he looks away, as if pretending the entire conversation didn’t happen.
But you can’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, you’re getting closer.
You’re on your second cup of coffee, trying to shake off the early morning fog as you bustle around the dressing room, adjusting outfits and making sure everything is set for the boys’ interview. Lou’s beside you, just as busy, but she’s got the kind of calm efficiency that only comes with years of experience.
The rest of the boys are still trying to shake off the sleepiness. Harry’s running around the room like a ball of energy, Liam is focused on his phone, Niall’s sipping his coffee with a grin, and Louis is picking at his outfit, clearly trying to make himself look ‘effortlessly stylish.’
Then there’s Zayn.
He’s slouched in a chair, arms crossed, eyes half-closed, clearly not a fan of this early start. You can’t help but grin at him.
“Good morning, Zayn!” you chirp, walking past him.
He grumbles something incoherent, his eyes narrowed as if the mere sound of your voice is too much.
“You’re way too happy for this time of day,” he mutters, his voice rough from sleep. “How can you be this cheerful this early?”
You laugh, raising your coffee cup. “Second cup. It’s my magic potion,” you tease.
He shoots you a deadpan look, clearly not impressed, but there’s something in his eyes that says he’s not entirely annoyed either. Maybe just a little intrigued.
“Must be nice,” he grumbles again, but the usual edge of annoyance is missing.
As Lou moves to touch up Niall’s hair, you continue bouncing between the boys, making sure everyone’s ready for the interview. Your usual banter flows easily—Louis teases Harry about his outfit, Niall jokes with you about your coffee addiction, and Liam quietly observes, nodding at the various preparations.
But through it all, you can’t shake the feeling that Zayn is watching you.
Every time you move across the room or make eye contact, you catch a glimpse of his dark eyes lingering on you for a fraction longer than usual. At first, you tell yourself it’s nothing—just Zayn being Zayn. But it happens again, and again.
You’re not imagining it. Zayn is watching you.
You try not to let it throw you off, keeping your usual bubbly self going as you continue with the boys’ preparations, but something in the way Zayn looks at you now feels different. It’s subtle, but it’s there—like he’s studying you, or maybe… waiting for something.
As the boys finish getting ready, you make your way back to Lou, trying to act casual. But you can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips when you glance over at Zayn again.
It’s like something’s shifted, but you’re not quite sure what yet.
The concert has just ended, and the venue is buzzing with the lingering energy of thousands of screaming fans. You step outside, seeking a moment of quiet in the cool night air. The distant hum of voices and equipment being packed away drifts through the stillness. Rounding the corner, you stop short when you see Zayn leaning against a brick wall, a cigarette glowing between his fingers.
For a moment, you consider turning back, not wanting to intrude on what looks like his private time. But before you can retreat, he glances up, his dark eyes meeting yours through the thin curl of smoke.
“You hiding out too?” you ask, stepping forward cautiously.
He doesn’t say anything at first, just shrugs and takes another slow drag from his cigarette. But he doesn’t seem annoyed by your presence, so you take it as a good sign.
“You were incredible tonight,” you say, leaning against the wall a few feet from him.
“Thanks,” he mutters, his voice low. He exhales a cloud of smoke, looking up at the night sky. “Crowd was good.”
You nod, watching him for a moment before your gaze flickers to the cigarette in his hand. He notices, a faint smirk tugging at his lips.
“You smoke?” he asks, holding it up slightly.
You shake your head with a laugh. “Never tried it.”
That catches his attention. He turns his head toward you, his eyebrows raising in surprise. “Never? Not even once?”
“Nope.” You grin. “Guess I never had the urge.”
He considers you for a moment, then holds out the cigarette, the embers glowing faintly in the dim light. “Wanna try?”
You hesitate, your gaze shifting between him and the cigarette. “I don’t know… I mean, isn’t this the part where I’m supposed to say it’s bad for me?”
He smirks, his voice tinged with amusement. “Probably. But who listens to that, right?”
With a small laugh, you reach out and take the cigarette from his fingers. “Okay, but if I choke and die, it’s on you.”
He smirks, watching as you raise the cigarette to your lips. “Just take it slow. Don’t try to inhale too much at first.”
You follow his instructions, but the moment the smoke hits your throat, you cough violently, your eyes watering as you hand the cigarette back to him.
He smiles, shaking his head. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
“Okay, fine,” you rasp, wiping your eyes. “This is a terrible idea.”
“Relax,” he says, his voice softer now. He steps closer, holding the cigarette out to you again. “Try it one more time. I’ll walk you through it.”
There’s something in his tone—calm, almost encouraging—that makes you take it. He positions himself beside you, his hand hovering near yours, his presence close enough to feel the warmth of his body in the cool night air.
“Take a smaller drag this time,” he instructs, his voice low. “Don’t rush it. Just… let it fill your mouth first.”
You do as he says, more cautiously this time. The smoke feels strange, but not as overwhelming, and when you exhale slowly, it curls out in a thin stream.
“There you go,” he says, a small smile playing on his lips.
You hand the cigarette back to him, shaking your head with a grin. “You’re such a bad influence.”
He chuckles, taking another drag as he leans back against the wall. “You didn’t have to try it.”
“Yeah, but you made it look so cool,” you tease, rolling your eyes.
He laughs softly, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than usual.
“Wait a second,” you say, narrowing your eyes at him. “Did you just laugh at me?”
His gaze flickers to you, and for a split second, there’s a flash of guilt before he smirks. “Maybe.”
“You totally did!” you exclaim, pointing at him. “Zayn Malik, laughing at my expense. Unbelievable.”
He chuckles softly, and this time it’s unmistakable. You stare at him, momentarily stunned.
“Oh my God, I cracked you.” You break into a wide grin, unable to hide your triumph. “I’ve been waiting for this moment. Feels good to know I’m funny enough to make you laugh.”
He shakes his head, the smirk lingering. “Don’t let it go to your head.”
“Too late,” you fire back, your tone light and teasing. “You should laugh more, you know. It looks good on you.”
He raises an eyebrow, skeptical. “Yeah, right.”
“I mean it,” you say, softening. “You’ve got a great laugh. And your smile… It’s really nice.”
His smirk falters, replaced by something quieter, more unsure. “Dunno about that.”
“Well, I do,” you reply simply, your voice steady.
He looks away, exhaling smoke into the night air, his brow furrowing slightly. It’s as if your words are too much for him to process, too sincere to brush off entirely.
For a moment, the air between you feels heavy—not with tension, but with something tender, something new.
“I’m serious,” you add gently. “You should let people see that side of you more often.”
He doesn’t respond, not directly. Instead, he stubs out the cigarette against the wall, his fingers lingering on the spot for a moment longer than necessary. When he looks back at you, there’s something different in his eyes—like he’s trying to figure you out, and maybe himself, too.
“Guess we’ll see,” he mutters, his voice low.
And just like that, the walls you’ve been chipping away at feel a little less insurmountable.
...
The dressing room is a whirlwind of activity, the hum of pre-show excitement hanging in the air. You and Lou are working in sync, moving between the boys as they sit in front of the brightly lit mirrors.
“You’ve got ten minutes!” a stagehand calls from the doorway.
“Yeah, yeah, we’re almost done!” Lou shouts back, grinning as she flicks a strand of Harry’s hair into place.
You turn to Zayn, who’s scrolling on his phone, already styled to perfection except for one finishing touch. “Alright, Zayn, I’m bringing it up again. Eyeliner. Just a little bit. What do you think?”
He glances at you, his expression neutral but not dismissive. “Why’re you so obsessed with this?”
“Because it would look amazing on you,” you say, grabbing the pencil from the makeup kit and holding it up for emphasis. “Trust me. It’ll make your eyes pop under the stage lights.”
“Mate, she’s got a point,” Niall chimes in from across the room. “You’ve got the look for it.”
“Since when do you care about eyeliner?” Zayn shoots back, raising an eyebrow.
“Since she started nagging you about it,” Niall says with a grin.
You roll your eyes, turning your attention back to Zayn. “Come on. One try. If you don’t like it, I’ll never bring it up again.”
He hesitates, his gaze shifting to Lou, who’s watching the exchange with an amused smirk. “Don’t look at me,” she says. “This is all her.”
Finally, with a quiet sigh, Zayn leans back in the chair. “Fine. Do your thing.”
The room goes silent for a beat before Harry’s voice cuts through the air. “Wait. What?”
“You’re actually letting her do it?” Louis asks, his jaw dropping.
“You never let anyone touch your face like that,” Liam adds, his tone laced with disbelief.
“Guess she’s got the magic touch,” Lou teases, winking at you.
You try to suppress a smile as you step closer to Zayn, the eyeliner in hand. “Hold still,” you murmur, your voice softer now.
He watches you carefully, his eyes steady and dark as you lean in. The room is quiet again, save for the occasional rustle of movement from the other boys. When you finish, you step back, capping the pencil with a satisfied grin.
“There. Told you it’d look good.”
Zayn turns to the mirror, his expression unreadable as he inspects your handiwork. After a moment, he shrugs. “Not bad.”
“Not bad?” Louis echoes, laughing. “That’s the most praise I’ve ever heard him give anyone.”
“I’m just surprised he let you do it,” Niall says, shaking his head in disbelief. “You’ve definitely got him wrapped around your finger.”
“Shut up, Niall,” Zayn mutters, but there’s the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at his lips.
You meet his eyes in the mirror, your own smile softening. “Glad you trust me.”
For a moment, it’s just the two of you in the reflection, the noise of the room fading into the background. Then Lou claps her hands, snapping everyone back to reality.
“Alright, showtime!” she calls.
As the boys file out of the room, you catch Zayn glancing back at you, his expression unreadable but lingering just long enough to send your heart fluttering.
Later that night the bar is buzzing with life—laughter, music, and the steady hum of conversation creating the perfect escape after a week of chaos. Your group claims a booth tucked into a corner, a round table surrounded by curved seating that’s already too small for the number of people cramming in.
“Alright, everyone, shift your arses!” Niall declares, sliding into the booth and dragging Louis in beside him.
The others follow, jostling for space. You hesitate at the edge, scanning for an open seat. Of course, the only spot left is sandwiched between Zayn and Liam.
“Go on, love, we don’t bite,” Liam says, giving you an encouraging smile as he pats the seat next to him.
“Much,” Louis adds with a wink, earning a laugh from the group.
Rolling your eyes but unable to hide your grin, you slide in. Your thigh brushes against Zayn’s as you sit, the warmth of him seeping through your jeans. He doesn’t move away, but he doesn’t acknowledge it either, his focus seemingly on the drink in his hand.
“Cozy, isn’t it?” Niall teases, smirking as he watches you settle in. Across the table, you catch Louis giving him a knowing look, and it clicks—they planned this.
The first round of drinks arrives, and Lou raises her glass. “To surviving another week of madness!”
“Cheers!” everyone echoes, clinking glasses around the table.
The conversation flows easily, laughter rippling through the group as stories and jokes fly across the table. You’re quick to join in, throwing in quips and teasing remarks that earn loud laughs from Niall, Louis and Harry. Even Liam, always the polite one, leans into the banter, his grin wide as he engages you in a playful back-and-forth about your questionable taste in music.
Zayn, however, is quieter, his comments few and far between. Still, you can’t help but notice the way his gaze lingers on you when he thinks you’re not paying attention.
At one point, Louis launches into a particularly outrageous story about their last tour, leaving you laughing so hard you throw your head back, accidentally bumping into Zayn’s shoulder.
“Sorry!” you say quickly, glancing at him.
“It’s fine,” he murmurs, his voice soft, though there’s a flicker of amusement in his eyes.
“You could at least pretend to have fun,” you tease, leaning toward him slightly.
“I am having fun,” he replies, his tone deadpan.
“Sure you are,” you shoot back, grinning. “You’ve got the brooding loner thing down to an art.”
To your surprise, a quiet chuckle escapes him, and the sound sends a thrill through you. You’ve been waiting to crack him, and now that you’ve gotten even a small laugh, you’re determined to push further.
Across the table, Niall points at the two of you. “Oi, Zayn, d’you know you’re sitting next to the life of the party?”
“Please,” you groan, rolling your eyes. “You’re just jealous.”
“Jealous? Of you?” Harry pipes up with an exaggerated laugh. “Never.”
“She’s not wrong, though,” Liam says with a warm smile. “You’re keeping us all entertained. Even Zayn looks like he’s enjoying himself.”
“Barely,” you quip, nudging Zayn’s knee with yours.
Zayn glances at you, his lips curving into the faintest smirk. “I’m just waiting for you to tire yourself out.”
Louis cackles. “God, you two are like an old married couple.”
Your cheeks flush, but you shrug it off with a grin. “Please, like Zayn could handle me.”
“That’s probably true,” Liam chimes in, smirking. “You’d talk him into the ground.”
Zayn shakes his head, leaning back slightly. His arm stretches along the back of the booth, his fingers brushing your shoulder—a casual gesture that feels anything but.
“I’d survive,” he says quietly, his voice low and laced with something you can’t quite place.
As the night continues, the group’s energy swirls around you, but you’re hyperaware of Zayn. The way his leg stays pressed against yours. The subtle glances he steals when he thinks you’re distracted.
When Harry insists on another round, you volunteer to go with him to the bar. As you slip out of the booth, your leg brushes Zayn’s again. This time, his gaze locks with yours, and for a moment, the rest of the room fades.
“Don’t miss me too much,” you tease, winking as you step away.
Zayn chuckles softly, his voice following you. “No promises.”
At the bar, Harry leans in with a sly grin. “You’re really something, you know that?”
“What do you mean?”
“Zayn,” he says simply, raising a brow. “He’s watching you like a hawk. You’ve got quite the effect on people, sunshine.”
The night wears on, and the bar grows louder as the drinks flow freely. You’re halfway through a spirited debate with Louis and Niall about the merits of your favorite movie when you glance around the booth and notice Zayn’s absence.
You scan the bar, your brow furrowing. He’s nowhere to be seen—no cigarette in hand by the doors, no figure tucked into a corner with a drink. It’s unlike him to disappear without a word, and curiosity tugs at you.
“Where’d Zayn go?” you ask Lou, who shrugs.
“Probably went for some air. You know how he gets in places like this.”
That’s all you need to hear. Excusing yourself, you slip out of the booth and weave through the crowd, heading toward the quieter side of the bar. The night air hits you as you step outside, cool and refreshing after the stuffy warmth of the bar.
It doesn’t take long to find him. Zayn’s leaning against the side of the building, a cigarette balanced between his fingers, the soft glow of the embers casting shadows across his face. He looks up when he hears your footsteps, his dark eyes meeting yours.
“Thought you disappeared,” you say lightly, walking over to him.
“Needed a break,” he murmurs, taking a drag from his cigarette.
You lean against the wall beside him, letting the silence settle for a moment. “Big crowds aren’t your thing, huh?”
He exhales smoke into the night air, his gaze distant. “Not really. It’s fine for a while, but… it gets too much, y’know?”
You nod, watching him carefully. “Yeah, I get it. Everyone always expects you to be ‘on.’ It’s exhausting.”
He glances at you, a flicker of surprise in his expression. “You’re always ‘on,’ though. How d’you do it?”
You laugh softly, crossing your arms. “Lots of coffee. And… I guess it’s just how I’ve always been. It’s easier for me to focus on making other people happy. Keeps me from overthinking.”
Zayn studies you for a moment, his cigarette forgotten between his fingers. “Guess we’re opposites, then.”
“Seems that way,” you agree, offering him a small smile. “But opposites attract, right?”
His lips twitch, the ghost of a smile appearing. “So they say.”
The quiet stretches between you again, but it’s not uncomfortable. You glance up at the stars, feeling the weight of his gaze on you.
“Do you ever feel like… I don’t know, like you’re carrying this invisible weight?” he asks suddenly, his voice softer now. “Like no matter what you do, it’s not enough?”
You look at him, surprised by the vulnerability in his tone. “Yeah,” you admit, your voice just as quiet. “All the time. But I try to remind myself that it’s okay not to have it all figured out. It’s okay to just… be.”
Zayn exhales deeply, dropping his cigarette to the ground and crushing it under his heel. “You make it sound so easy.”
“It’s not,” you say gently. “But it helps when you let people in. Even just a little.”
He huffs a soft laugh, shaking his head. “You’re relentless, you know that?”
“Hey, someone’s gotta look out for you,” you tease, bumping your shoulder against his.
For the first time, his smile reaches his eyes. “Thanks,” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Anytime,” you reply, feeling a warmth spread through your chest at the moment you’ve shared.
The silence between you stretches, filled with the quiet hum of the night. You can feel Zayn’s presence beside you—steady, grounding. For someone who’s always been so closed off, he’s letting you in, little by little, and it makes your heart ache in a way you can’t explain.
You glance at him, noticing the way his dark lashes cast shadows against his cheeks, the soft curve of his lips as he stares out into the distance. His face is unreadable, but there’s a tension in his posture, like he’s caught between wanting to say something and holding it back.
“Zayn,” you say softly, and his eyes flick to yours, guarded yet curious.
“Yeah?”
You take a breath, your heart beating faster. “I meant what I said before. About your smile. And your laugh. I wish I could see them more because… I like them. I like you.”
For a moment, he just stares at you, his expression unreadable. Then, almost imperceptibly, he leans closer. “You don’t have to say that.”
“I’m not just saying it,” you insist, your voice firm but gentle. “You’re so hard on yourself, Zayn. You don’t see what I see. You’re kind, and talented, and—”
You’re cut off as Zayn closes the space between you, his lips brushing against yours so softly it feels like a question. Your breath catches, but you don’t pull away—instead, you lean into him, answering his unspoken ask.
The kiss is tentative at first, like he’s still testing the waters, but as your hand comes up to rest on his chest, it deepens. His lips are warm, slightly rough from the cigarette, but his touch is careful, reverent. It’s the kind of kiss that makes the world blur at the edges, leaving only the two of you in sharp focus.
When he finally pulls back, his forehead rests lightly against yours. He’s breathing a little heavier, and his eyes search yours, vulnerability etched across his face.
“I didn’t mean for that to happen,” he murmurs, his voice low.
“Regretting it already?” you tease, though your voice is soft, not wanting to break the moment.
A small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth—more genuine than any you’ve seen from him before. “Not even close,” he says, his thumb brushing against your wrist where your hand still rests on his chest.
For a moment, you stand there, the air between you charged with something you’re both too afraid to name yet. But as his eyes linger on yours, you know this won’t be the last time Zayn lets you in.
“C’mon,” you say eventually, your voice light to mask the way your heart is racing. “Let’s go back before they send out a search party.”
Zayn chuckles softly, and the sound makes you smile. “Alright,” he says, his voice softer now. “But let’s keep this… between us for now.”
“Whatever you say, rockstar,” you reply, nudging him gently before turning toward the bar.
You can feel his gaze on you as you walk, a warmth spreading through your chest. Maybe you haven’t completely cracked Zayn yet, but this—whatever it is—is a start.
It’s one of those days when everything is a bit too much. You’re rushing around backstage, trying to get the boys styled for the show while keeping your nerves in check. The usual upbeat energy you carry is nowhere to be found today, replaced by a mounting pressure that makes every little thing feel like a big deal.
As you dash past the dressing room, a tangle of cords trips you up. Your foot catches, and before you can steady yourself, you fall forward, hitting the ground with a sharp thud. For a split second, everything freezes—the hustle of backstage, the noise of the boys and crew—all of it. You’re just sitting there, stunned.
You hear a soft voice break through the silence. “Are you alright?” It’s Zayn, kneeling down beside you before anyone else can even move. He’s the first to reach you, his hands gently helping you sit up.
The other boys are quick to hover, crowding around you with their usual teasing and concern. “You good, love?” Niall asks, a grin on his face, though his eyes are laced with concern.
But it’s Zayn who stays calm, his gaze focused on you in a way that makes the noise around you fade. He can see it. The way your shoulders are tense, the slight tremble in your hands. It’s not just the fall. It’s everything.
“Hey,” Zayn says quietly, brushing a strand of hair from your face, his thumb lightly grazing your cheek. His voice drops lower, just for you, “Come with me.”
Without waiting for anyone’s response, he helps you up and leads you away from the others. You don’t protest, too grateful for the space to let the walls you’ve been holding up start to crumble. He pulls you outside to a quiet spot, away from the chaos of the dressing room.
Once you’re out in the open, Zayn releases your arm but stays close. You can feel the tension from the kiss days ago, still lingering between you, but neither of you has addressed it. It’s there, unspoken. And now, as the weight of the day catches up to you, you realize how much it’s been bothering you.
“I’m fine,” you say, trying to brush it off, but your voice cracks. You’re not fine. You’re anything but fine. You’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and a part of you just wants to break down.
Zayn doesn’t let you off the hook. He takes a step closer, his eyes searching yours. “You sure? You don’t look fine. I saw that back there… you’re not okay.”
You let out a shaky breath, and before you know it, the floodgates open. The tears you’ve been holding back start to spill over. You can’t stop them, not with everything that’s been building up. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you choke out, your voice thick with emotion. “I’ve been trying so hard to keep everything together. It’s all just too much…”
Zayn is silent for a moment, processing your words. Then, without saying another thing, he steps forward and wraps his arms around you in a hug. It’s warm and firm, like a shield from the world around you.
You don’t know why, but you break, your arms winding around him and letting yourself sink into his embrace. His scent, his presence—it’s all grounding. And for the first time today, you feel safe, like you can just let go.
His voice is soft, barely a whisper. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be strong all the time. We’re all just… figuring things out, yeah?”
You nod against his chest, the sound of his heartbeat soothing. There’s something about Zayn’s calm, unspoken support that makes you feel like maybe, just maybe, you don’t have to do everything on your own.
He pulls back slightly, his hands still resting on your shoulders as he looks at you with those dark, understanding eyes. “You’ve been running yourself ragged,” he says, voice steady. “You deserve a break.”
You smile weakly up at him, still feeling a little shaky but grateful. “I don’t even know what a break feels like anymore.”
Zayn smiles, but it’s softer than usual. “Maybe it’s time you learned.” He gives you a gentle squeeze before stepping back, though his presence still lingers. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all need help sometimes.”
For the first time in days, you feel a flicker of relief. The weight on your shoulders isn’t gone, but it’s lighter now. Zayn’s not just the quiet guy you’ve been trying to figure out. He’s here for you in a way that feels real, that feels like more than just words.
“Thanks, Zayn,” you murmur, your voice steadying. “I needed that.”
He gives you a small, almost imperceptible nod, his expression softening just a little. “Anytime.”
As you and Zayn make your way back into the dressing room, the cool air from outside still lingers on your skin, but the chaos of the tour quickly rushes back in. You take a deep breath and, as if flipping a switch, slip back into your more familiar bubbly personality. It’s a little quieter now, more subdued than it was before, but it’s still there.
You give Zayn a small smile, though it doesn’t quite reach your eyes the way it usually does. “Thanks again, Zayn,” you say, your voice light but carrying the quiet gratitude you feel.
Zayn just nods, the same unreadable expression on his face. There’s a softness there now, something that wasn’t there before. Something unspoken.
As you re-enter the dressing room, Lou and the boys are all immediately on you, crowding around, but you put on a brave face.
“Everything okay?” Lou asks, her voice gentle, as she takes in the shift in your mood.
“I’m fine, really,” you say, flashing a smile that doesn’t quite hit the mark. “Just a little trip, nothing serious.” You wave off the concern as best as you can, but the boys aren’t having it.
Liam arches an eyebrow, eyeing you with a look that knows something’s up. “You sure? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something,” he jokes, though his concern is genuine.
You laugh softly, shaking your head. “I’m fine, just… one of those days.” You try to brush it off, but the boys are too perceptive.
“Well,” Niall says, giving you an exaggerated wink, “seems like someone was quick to swoop in and save the day.” His eyes flicker to Zayn, who’s just standing off to the side, arms folded as he watches the interaction with his usual calm demeanor.
Harry laughs and nudges Zayn. “Looks like someone’s got your back, mate.”
You try to ignore the heat creeping up your neck as the teasing starts. You glance at Zayn, his posture casual, but there’s a glimmer in his eye that you’re not sure if you should be worried about.
“Don’t start,” you warn, though the words lack their usual edge. You can feel your heart skip a beat at the thought of what’s been simmering between you and Zayn lately.
But the boys aren’t backing down. Louis grins, shaking his head. “So, is there a special reason Zayn’s the first one to swoop in, or are we just lucky today?”
You roll your eyes, though the smile tugging at your lips betrays the fact that you’re trying to keep it together. “I’m fine, really. Zayn just didn’t want me to look like an idiot in front of all of you,” you say, the banter coming more naturally now, despite the lingering emotions from earlier.
Zayn doesn’t respond right away, but his expression softens just slightly. He glances your way and offers a small, quiet smile—barely noticeable, but it’s there. The others catch it, though, and it doesn’t go unnoticed.
“Is there something going on here?” Liam says with a teasing grin, eyeing the pair of you. He leans in toward Niall, whispering loud enough for everyone to hear. “I think we’ve got some chemistry brewing. Look at them.”
You feel your face heat up again, and you glance at Zayn, who seems unfazed by the attention, but you catch a slight shift in his stance—a subtle tension that’s never been there before.
“Stop it,” you say quickly, trying to deflect, but your tone is a little less forceful than usual. “There’s nothing going on, okay?”
“Right,” Harry says, sarcasm dripping from his voice as he crosses his arms. “Nothing at all. Just a little ‘hero rescue’ moment, is that it?”
The group bursts into laughter, and you can’t help but chuckle along, even though you’re not sure whether you should feel embarrassed or flattered. The teasing doesn’t stop, but there’s something different in the air now. It’s as if everyone’s starting to pick up on the subtle shifts between you and Zayn, the unspoken tension that neither of you has fully addressed.
Zayn stays quiet through it all, his arms crossed as he leans against the wall, his gaze flicking between you and the boys. He doesn’t join in the teasing, but the small smile that tugs at his lips tells you he’s aware of it. He knows what they’re getting at. And maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t mind it so much anymore.
“Alright, alright,” Lou says, laughing at the exchange. “We’ve got a show to get ready for, yeah?”
But as everyone goes back to preparing for the night ahead, you can’t help but notice that the teasing hasn’t really stopped. It’s subtle now, though, more of a knowing glance here and there, a comment made just loud enough for the two of you to hear. It’s like the boys have figured it out—there’s something between you and Zayn, even if it hasn’t been fully acknowledged yet.
The dressing room hums with the usual pre-show energy—hairbrushes, makeup palettes, and chatter filling the space. You’re darting between the boys, fixing hair and smoothing stray strands, trying to keep the chaos under control. Lou stepped out a while ago, trusting you to finish up, but you’re starting to think she might have left you to fend for yourself on purpose.
“Nearly done, Harry,” you say, running your fingers through his curls to set the final piece.
“Thanks, love,” he replies, grinning at you in the mirror. Then, with an exaggerated stretch, he stands and grabs his jacket. “Think I’ll grab some water before we head out.”
You glance at him in surprise. “You don’t need a touch-up or anything?”
He waves you off. “I’m flawless, darling. You know that.” He winks, strolling toward the door.
“Subtle, Harry,” Louis mutters as Harry slips out.
“I’m getting coffee,” Louis announces next, his tone far too casual to be convincing. He’s already halfway out the door before you can respond.
Niall follows with a cheeky grin. “Might grab something to eat.”
“Think I’ll check on the stage,” Liam adds, standing and stretching.
Your brow furrows. “All of you, at once?”
None of them answer, though Liam shoots you a knowing smile before disappearing into the hallway.
The door clicks shut, leaving you alone with Zayn. The silence is deafening in their absence. You glance at him in the mirror, catching the way his eyes flicker to yours and linger.
Your heart begins to race, and you turn back to your station, pretending to fuss with a comb. “Guess it’s just us then,” you say, your voice too light to sound casual.
He doesn’t reply at first, but you feel the weight of his gaze. “Yeah,” he finally murmurs.
The tension in the room is thick, the air charged in a way it hasn’t been before. It’s been a week since the kiss at the bar—a week of stolen glances, quiet moments, and a magnetic pull you’ve both been ignoring.
When you finally meet his eyes again, his expression is unreadable, but his lips part as if he’s about to say something.
“Zayn…” You don’t even know what you’re about to say, but the words don’t matter.
He stands, moving toward you slowly, deliberately. “I’ve been thinking about that night,” he says softly.
Your throat tightens. “Me too,” you admit, barely above a whisper.
The distance between you shrinks. His hand brushes yours, his touch light and hesitant, like he’s giving you a chance to pull away. But you don’t. Instead, your breath catches as he tilts his head, his gaze locked on yours.
When his lips finally meet yours, it’s like a spark igniting. His mouth is warm, firm yet gentle, and he tastes faintly of spearmint gum. The kiss starts slow, testing the waters, but when you respond, his hands slide to your waist, pulling you closer.
The world narrows to the two of you—the faint hum of the dressing room lights, the subtle scratch of his stubble against your skin, the way his fingers curl into the fabric of your shirt. Your own hands move instinctively, tangling in his hair, the soft strands slipping through your fingers.
His kiss deepens, more urgent now, and you’re vaguely aware of the counter pressing into your back, grounding you. His lips trail from yours for a moment, brushing the corner of your mouth before returning, and it sends a shiver down your spine.
You lose track of time, the kiss consuming every thought, every sensation—until the door creaks open.
“Seriously?” Louis’s voice cuts through the haze like a bucket of ice water.
You and Zayn break apart so fast you nearly trip over yourself. Your cheeks burn as you turn to see all four boys standing there, grinning like they’ve just won the lottery.
“I knew it!” Niall crows, pointing at the two of you.
Harry smirks, crossing his arms. “Didn’t think you’d actually do it in the dressing room, though. Bold choice.”
“Oh, come on,” Louis says, clearly enjoying himself. “This tension’s been unbearable. You two were practically begging to be caught.”
You groan, covering your face with your hands as your embarrassment bubbles over. Zayn doesn’t move far, though. His hand stays on your waist, steadying you, and when you glance up at him, there’s a flicker of amusement in his expression.
“You all planned this, didn’t you?” you demand, your voice muffled behind your hands.
“Maybe,” Liam says with an innocent shrug, though his grin gives him away.
“Doesn’t matter, though,” Louis says, smirking. “We’re just glad it finally happened.”
You groan again, but as Zayn’s hand lingers on your waist and his thumb brushes a small, comforting circle, you can’t help but feel like the teasing might just be worth it.
The boys are still grinning like a pack of mischievous schoolchildren, their delight at catching you and Zayn mid-makeout entirely too obvious.
“Alright, alright,” Zayn mutters, stepping slightly in front of you as if to shield you from the onslaught of teasing. His voice is low but firm, though the corner of his mouth twitches like he’s trying not to smile. “You’ve had your fun. Leave it.”
“Oh no, mate,” Louis says, leaning casually against the doorframe, arms crossed and smirk firmly in place. “This is gold. We’re not letting this one slide so easily.”
Harry winks at you. “We were wondering how long it’d take for you two to finally crack.”
Your cheeks burn hotter, but you manage to find your voice. “Okay, fine! Yes, we kissed. Happy now?”
Louis arches a brow, his smirk widening. “Kissed? As in, just now, or—” He pauses for effect, dragging it out. “Have there been… other moments we should know about?”
Zayn tenses slightly beside you, and you glance at him. There’s an unspoken question in his eyes, like he’s asking if it’s okay to share. You sigh, deciding there’s no point in hiding it now. “There was… one other time,” you admit, your voice quieter. “At the bar. A week ago.”
The room erupts into laughter and groans of mock disbelief.
“You mean to tell us,” Niall starts, pointing between you and Zayn, “you’ve been sneaking around for a week and didn’t say a word?”
Liam shakes his head, chuckling. “No wonder things have felt so off. The tension was starting to get unbearable.”
“You’re telling me,” Harry says, throwing up his hands. “We’ve all been walking on eggshells thinking something was up. Turns out, it’s this.”
Louis whistles, leaning back against the wall like he’s settling in for a good story. “And here I thought Zayn was the mysterious one. Looks like you’ve both been keeping secrets.”
You groan, rubbing your forehead as the embarrassment bubbles up. “It’s not like that,” you mumble.
“It’s not?” Harry teases, arching a brow. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks very much like that.”
“We haven’t even talked about it yet,” Zayn cuts in, his voice calm but firm. The boys all quiet down slightly at his words, their teasing smirks softening into looks of mild curiosity.
You glance at him, surprised by his honesty but grateful for it. “Yeah,” you add, shifting awkwardly. “We haven’t… figured anything out. It’s just—” You gesture vaguely between the two of you. “We’re still trying to make sense of it.”
Louis raises a brow, looking thoroughly unconvinced. “Trying to make sense of it, huh? Is that what you were doing just now?”
The room fills with laughter again, and you groan, covering your face with your hands.
“Alright, enough,” Zayn says, his tone carrying just enough weight to silence the chaos. “You’ve had your fun. Now give it a rest.”
Louis raises his hands in surrender, though his smirk remains. “Fine. But don’t think this is the last we’ll talk about it.”
With a chorus of knowing chuckles, the boys start to shuffle back into the room, resuming their pre-show routine. As the teasing dies down, you finally allow yourself to breathe, glancing up at Zayn.
“Well, that was mortifying,” you whisper, your voice barely audible above the commotion.
Zayn leans closer, his lips curving into a faint, reassuring smile. “Could’ve been worse,” he murmurs, his breath warm against your ear. “At least they didn’t walk in earlier.”
You laugh despite yourself, and the sound seems to ease some of the lingering tension. His thumb brushes one last circle on your waist before he finally steps away, giving you space.
But as the boys’ playful chatter fills the room again, you can’t help but notice the way Zayn’s gaze lingers on you from across the room—like even in a crowded space, you’re the only one he sees. And judging by the flutter in your chest, you’re starting to feel the exact same way.
The next morning the knock at your hotel room door comes just as you’re grabbing your jacket. Startled, you glance at the clock—it’s still early, barely past seven. Pushing down your curiosity, you open the door, and there he is.
Zayn stands in the hallway, his hands shoved in the pockets of his hoodie, his hair slightly tousled like he’s been running his fingers through it. In his other hand, he’s holding two coffee cups.
“Morning,” he says, his voice soft and a little hesitant.
“Morning.” You blink at him, surprised to see him here, especially so early. “What are you doing here?”
He lifts one of the cups, offering it to you. “Brought you coffee. Figured you might need it before you head out.”
Your chest tightens as you take the cup from him. One sip confirms it—he’s remembered your exact order. The gesture is so small, yet it sends a warmth spreading through you.
“Thanks,” you say, stepping aside. “Do you want to come in?”
He hesitates for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. I—yeah.”
You step back, letting him inside. The room is quiet, save for the faint hum of the air conditioning. Zayn looks around briefly before settling on the edge of the chair by the window, his shoulders tense.
You sit on the edge of the bed, cradling your coffee. The silence between you is thick but not uncomfortable, more like it’s brimming with unspoken words.
Zayn exhales, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ve been thinking about this. About us,” he says finally, his voice quiet but steady.
Your heart skips a beat, but you don’t interrupt.
“I’m not good at this,” he admits, his gaze fixed on the floor. “Letting people in. Trusting them. It’s… hard for me. Always has been.” He looks up at you, his eyes raw with honesty. “That’s why I’ve been so stand-offish. It wasn’t because of you. It was me trying to protect myself.”
You swallow, his words cutting straight to your heart. “Zayn…”
“But you,” he continues, his voice softening, “you make it hard to keep those walls up. You’re… sunshine. You light everything up just by walking into a room, and I didn’t know how to handle that at first.”
Your breath catches, your chest tightening at his confession.
“I’m scared,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I don’t want to keep shutting you out. I want to try. Really try. I want to be with you—for real.”
For a moment, you’re too stunned to respond. His vulnerability, his honesty—it’s everything you’ve been waiting for, and it fills you with a kind of warmth you didn’t know you needed.
“You’re scared,” you say finally, your voice gentle. “But you’re still here. That says a lot.”
Zayn’s lips curve into a small, tentative smile. “I guess it does.”
You set your coffee down on the nightstand and stand, moving to sit beside him. “You’re not the only one who’s scared,” you admit. “This isn’t… easy for me either. But I think we balance each other out, you know? You’re the calm when I’m all over the place, and maybe I can be the sunshine when you need it.”
He looks at you, his gaze softening, and you feel your chest tighten again. “I don’t just need it,” he says quietly. “I want it. I want you.”
You smile, reaching out to take his hand. “I want you too.”
The air between you shifts, the tension easing into something softer, sweeter. Zayn leans in, his hand lifting to gently cup your cheek. “You’re my sunshine,” he murmurs before pressing his lips to yours.
The kiss is slow and tender, a promise wrapped in warmth. His hand slides into your hair, holding you close as your lips move together in perfect harmony. The world outside fades away, leaving only the two of you in this moment.
When you finally pull back, your foreheads rest together, your breaths mingling in the quiet.
“Guess that makes this official, huh?” you say softly, a teasing lilt to your voice.
Zayn chuckles, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheek. “Yeah, I guess it does.”
And as he pulls you into another kiss, you can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, this is the start of something incredible.
Author’s note: I really enjoyed this one! Let me know if you’d like a part 2 or have similar requests💛
48 notes · View notes
marsimago · 2 days ago
Text
I would like to go on record to point out this man blocked me because he couldn't handle my response. So here it is again!
Yeah man, Google is great. I was just reading about statistics showing half of the people in prison who declare themselves transgender have been sentenced with one or more sexual offences, which is way higher than even the average male.
And I saw how trans ideology is literally just performing experiments on kids. For example, there is not a single long-term study to demonstrate the safety or efficacy of puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones and surgeries for transgender-believing youth. This means that youth transition is experimental, and therefore, parents cannot provide informed consent, nor can minors provide assent for these interventions. Moreover, the best long-term evidence we have among adults shows that medical intervention fails to reduce suicide.
Puberty blockers may actually cause depression and other emotional disturbances related to suicide. In fact, the package insert for Lupron, the number one prescribed puberty blocker in America, lists “emotional instability” as a side effect and warns prescribers to “Monitor for development or worsening of psychiatric symptoms during treatment.” Similarly, discussing an experimental trial of puberty blockers in the U.K., Oxford University Professor Michael Biggs wrote, “There was no statistically significant difference in psychosocial functioning between the group given blockers and the group given only psychological support. In addition, there is unpublished evidence that after a year on [puberty blockers] children reported greater self-harm, and the girls also experienced more behavioral and emotional problems and expressed greater dissatisfaction with their body—so puberty blockers exacerbated gender dysphoria.”
I'd love for you to Google the damage your ideology does to kids! And I sure wish all you trans ideologues could handle conversations when you're hit with the real facts without running away. There's a reason you all get to a certain point and block, and I want you to really think about your ideology.
“Gender ideology claims that being a woman or a man is a feeling in a person’s head rather than a biological reality. Thus, gender activists demand that we define a man or a woman on the basis of each person’s thoughts and feelings, which are intimately connected to sex-role stereotyping.”
295 notes · View notes
tiredandoptimistic · 12 hours ago
Text
What I think works so well about Clary and Isabelle's friendship is that they're very similar people, but they present themselves just differently enough to appear alien to each other. Both of them were the only girls in a group of boys (Isabelle was raised more or less isolated with Alec and Jace, while Clary doesn't seem to have any friends other than Simon and to a lesser extent his band), and they responded to this in very different ways. Isabelle basically committed herself to her role of "the girl" and always performs extreme femininity, while Clary attempts to sink into the background as "one of the guys." Both of these behaviors can be seen as rebellions against their culture. Isabelle comes from the very misogynist world of Shadowhunters, where women are respected as warriors but expected to act in a masculine way in order to earn that respect. She rejects this, and proves her place as a brilliant fighter while maintaining her fun and glossy feminine traits (compare her with Jessamine Lovelace, who was seen as silly and frivolous for her feminine interests). Clary on the other hand is a child of the nineties growing up in NYC. As a teenage girl in the early 2000s, she would have been surrounded by "not like other girls" philosophy, and hyperfemininity would be both pushed on her and demonized in popular culture. Because of all the pressure placed on gender roles and her lack of connection with other girls her age, it's no surprise that Clary would develop a certain bitterness towards people who perform gender in a way she won't.
With all of that out of the way, we get two teenage girls who have no fucking clue how to handle each other. They're both jealous of how the other one fits in with the guys in a way they can't. Obviously any friend group is made up of friendships which fit together in unique ways, but Clary and Isabelle both see themselves as The Girl, and thus are worried that the other one will make them redundant (Clary gets along with Jace, so will he still need Isabelle? Isabelle and Simon are getting along, will this take away Clary's place as Simon's most important person?) Of course this isn't something that will actually ruin their friendships, but Clary and Isabelle don't know that. Instead they need to learn how to engage with each other, and I enjoy that TMI actually shows them having those conversations. They're trying, but it doesn't all happen at once. Clary still has bitter thoughts about Isabelle's femininity, and she also looks down on other girls like Maia.
Speaking of Maia, there's a really good moment in COA where Clary starts grumbling to herself about how unfair it is that a werewolf can be pretty, and that Maia should be gross and hairy. She then catches herself, and literally thinks "this is exactly why I don't have any female friends," showing that thanks to Isabelle she's learning to recognize her internalized misogyny. She can hang out with other pretty girls, and it doesn't decrease her value as a person.
It's just so nice seeing a character whose internalized misogyny is actively acknowledged by the narrative and treated as a flaw she must overcome. So many female protagonists in the early 2000s (and other decades) had the hyper-femme "best friend" who they hated, but even though that's how Clary sees Izzy at first, she's able to look past it and see the ways they click together. The two of them don't become besties immediately, but they're at least able to get past that first layer of hostility.
50 notes · View notes
potionsformaya · 2 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
𓏵 ˖ ⋮ emily davis headcanons. . ֹ ₊
❝ often a lack of confidence manifests itself as over confidence. . ❞
Tumblr media
this is part 1 of my emily headcanons, because she’s my angel and yet I never gush about her on here (smallest piece of angst somewhere in the mix but it’s like a: “must’ve been the wind” sort of thing.)
Emily isn’t exactly the biggest animal lover. She doesn’t like being around dogs (Sam’s dog likes to chase her when she’s comes over. Now she demands it gets put outside when she visits.), and cats are more tame (Ashley’s cat falls asleep in her lap, and she awkwardly pets it) but she wouldn’t want one as a pet. She does, however, have a soft spot for rabbits.
HATES losing. The sorest loser you’ll ever meet. Falling second place is enough to make her go crazy. It doesn’t even have to be anything academic or sporty. Losing to someone in a game can also ruin her day.
Being a mathlete, she sticks out like a sore thumb when grouped together with the other mathletes because most of them are on the geekier side. But despite her sour attitude, she’s managed to befriend a handful of them.
Even when she and Jessica were friends, she always felt like she had to be better than her in some way. Jessica being more out there and popular because of her brash and extroverted attitude, Emily felt as if she couldn’t keep it. While everyone was drooling over Miss Homecoming Queen, it was always a hit or miss with how people felt about Emily. It was always “she’s too bitchy” or “she’s okay”, no in between.
When Emily started dating Matt, she put on this flirty, suggestive persona just in case there was a chance of him leaving her for the same reason Mike dumped her. Being “too frigid”. However, Emily is still insecure about her performance in the bedroom due to Mike making it pretty clear she wasn’t his best experience.
Emily can be a bit bitter, but she’s never been all that serious. The smallest things are enough to tickle her, including her own jokes.
When around adults or authority figures, Emily is a completely different person. Very respectful and and well mannered. The first time she visit Ashley’s house, she went from ranting to Ashley outside the door, to having a polite conversation with Ashley’s mother in the living room.
Emily did in fact feel guilty for the prank they pulled on Hannah, and had zero intentions on going back up to the lodge. After a talk with Matt and thinking about how much it probably meant to Josh, she caved in.
Emily realized her eyesight was getting a tiny bit bad when she was only two seats away from the board and still couldn’t exactly make out what it said. If then became concerning when she was beginning to have a hard time reading up close, Sam told her she was going to have to get glasses sooner or later, but Em kept putting it off because she felt glasses would make her look dorky. She secretly ordered some online, and the prescription glasses were a little chunky and thick. She only wears them in the comfort of her own home.
She actually loves giving gifts on special occasions. And she’s loaded so her gifts usually aren’t that casual. She likes spending money on her friends to see their faces when they open up whatever she got them.
She doesn’t exactly have a fear of roller coasters or rides, they just make her sick every single time. And if you’re not fast enough, or you’re unlucky enough (like Chris), you’ll end up in the spray zone. 
She topped Chris’s high score in DDR.
Emily got stuck in an art class as an elective. She hated every minute of it and she’s great at everything, but her art skills, not so much..
Ironically, Emily can be one of the most sensitive people you’ll ever meet.
She loves teasing and messing with her friends, but when it’s done back to her, she’s thrown off completely.
34 notes · View notes
doodler16 · 2 days ago
Note
In response to your post about recasting the voice actors for Hazbin, I came to a horrifying conclusion...
The voice cast choices were done poorly.
Now it's no secret that Vivzie just wants to rub elbows with famous musical stars that could play a part in why she chose specifically these people instead of others that would be WAY cheaper in comparison.
And there's also the fact that the voice acting itself is... okay at best but VERY out of place at worst.
Erika sounds a bit too mature for a character like Charlie.
Stephanie is too flat and emotionless as Vaggie.
Vivzie only hired Blake because he sounded the closest to Micheal when doing Angel.
As much as I love Keith David, he's way too smooth and a bit soft spoken for someone as rough as Husk if that makes sense.
And Kimiko Glenn as Niffty... as this point I'm just tired of hearing her everywhere.
Like, take Megamind for example, they didn't hire people to be recognizable names, the voice actors really gave it their all in that movie and really brought the characters to life.
Or Walt Dohrn as Rumpelstiltskin in Shrek Forever After, he was originally a placeholder until the crew could find someone to replace it with. But they liked his voice so much that they decided to keep him as the voice. A decision I think worked out well in the end.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IaDQdo8x1I
It's definitely more effort than Vivzie ever did in choosing voice actors.
I remember being so shocked that the original VAs for Hazbin Hotel pilot got replaced because I couldn’t tell a difference (except for Keith David, he was suck out like a sore thumb) between the broadway performers and the pilot VAs until I watched a compare and contrast video.
Then later I realized it was all Vivziepop doing and not Amazon or A24. And she never corrected it, from what I saw Vivziepop was all “trust me guys, give them a chance, etc.” Amazon and A24 got all the blame.
I still like the broadway performers’ performance, they did the best they could with what they given with it. I will admit Stephanie as Vaggie, while she does an amazing job matching the original pilot voice. She sounds so bored at times, it’s like she was forced to tag along. Otherwise, I adjusted pretty easily and ate up their performance.
My main problem is Vivziepop, herself. She has this repeated pattern of wanting celebrities or broadway performers on both Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss that it gets stale real quick. I think that’s what makes the pilot so magical. It felt homemade and reminded of a bunch of high school/college friends who wanted to do something ambitious and successful succeeded.
All these VAs for the pilot were people, we have never heard of for the most part. Also what’s the point of replacing the original cast if you going want the broadway performers to mimic their voices? If she wants her broadway performers that’s fine I guess but Vivziepop has to remember she has a budget.
All the way Hazbin Hotel’s finale, it was so obvious that they couldn’t get Velvette’s voice actress to sing with Valentino and Vox so had to animate her and pretend she was “part of the group.”
37 notes · View notes
tumbleaboutit · 2 days ago
Text
This calls for a read more.
I'm currently part of a LARP, though admittedly it's more "tabletop with costumes" due to space limitations.
…oh gosh, it was fifteen fuckin' years ago now. I had just graduated and was hanging with some friends I'd met through online gaming, and they asked if I was interested in trying out tabletop. I'd been eyeballing a book that said "werewolf" on it because I thought werewolves were cool, and the rest is history.
Mash-up: We're using "Ghost Council" and "Gale Stalkers" because those are more appropriate names, but we still have the Get of Fenris and Crinos-born Garou because throwing those out with the bathwater was short-sighted. Also we made "redeemed" versions of the Mockery Breeds; they are absolutely playable and I've got write-ups for anyone who wants them. Oh, and were-elephants. We made a whole damn splat book for were-elephants as a birthday present for someone who really likes elephants. They are also completely playable.
I don't really have a favorite. So far, I've played a Child of Gaia, a Silent Strider, a Bone Gnawer, a Shadow Lord, and am currently playing a Silver Fang. I've enjoyed all of them for different reasons, and I'm looking forward to getting to the others.
I don't have a least favorite, but someone saying that the Get of Fenris is their favorite tribe usually makes me wary of them until they elaborate as to why. You gotta find the Get players who want to fight the bad Get players.
I tend to create characters collaboratively with another person, so I don't currently have any concepts in the pipe. But I do want to get around to playing all of the auspices (only Galliard left!) and all of the Tribes.
"Divide" is currently at the top of my list due to my Shadow Lord having used it as the (absolutely brutal) capstone of her Revenge Quest. If you're gonna fuck with a Shadow Lord, maybe don't pick the Lost Cub who weighed all her options and became a Shadow Lord on purpose.
Rite of Contrition, because it's always fun to see what item a character brings as an apology present, what that item says about them, and how the character they're apologizing to reacts.
Much like I don't have a favorite Tribe, I don't have a favorite Patron spirit either.
Bloody Bandages, due to the absolutely hilarious "leech dance" chiminage that my friend came up with: basically hopping around, legs together and arms flat at your sides, and then leaning toward people and making a slurping noise. You must perform it with a large group of people nearby so that you have many opportunities to slurp.
Most of the Frenzies I've had or seen have gone fairly well due to the presence of other Garou dog-piling the Frenzying one before they can do too much damage. But a Fostern Philodox player character did get killed by a Ahroun Cub in a Frenzy one time because they were alone together.
I'm pretty much just in it for the games!
Shadow Lord endears herself to Gale Stalker against his will and his better judgment. He is grumpy about it even after he dies.
Six official characters across games, plus various temps and NPCs as needed. Special shout-outs to NPCs "grumpy-ass gila monster Mokolé who beat up biker and stole his jacket", and the two Get of Fenris high school jocks who formed a pack under Goat as a Norse myth in-joke.
My first character was Emily Chews-on-Silver, a Child of Gaia Philodox, who grew up in the circus and shared her First Change with the lion Bastet that she performed with after they were attacked by Black Spirals. She was extremely shy and retiring outside of the ring, and the pack they were in kept getting swept up in these Grand Adventures that meant that the spirits kept promoting her in rank without her actually understanding much about what being a Philodox meant.
All of my characters eventually end up being growth characters in one way or another. But I get a lot of joy out of Stacia, my Mean Girl Shadow Lord Ragabash, because I have successfully made other people like her as much as I do.
Stacia I've played long enough to officially get her to her early twenties, so she's technically the oldest. Genie is the youngest, both because she's my newest character and also because she's lupus-born and hasn't even hit double-digits yet. They'd get along okay as long as they don't have to work too closely together; and they'd bond over their mutual addiction to Starbucks (caffeine and sugar for Stacia, Pup Cups for Genie).
Emily taught me that playing the "Shy" flaw when you already have IRL social anxiety isn't that much fun. I'm sure we share unofficial flaws/traits, but it's hard to put my finger on them from the inside.
Alice-in-the-Mirrors, whose Slip Sideways flaw was so bad that it would yeet her into the Deep Umbra, was meant to be an easy character that I could play whenever I managed to make the four-hour trip to game from graduate school. Ha. Hahahahaha. She turned into a personal growth character pretty fast.
Oh…no thank you. I don't want to be in the World of Darkness, and I have a very different skillset than any of my characters. If I absolutely had to, probably Alice.
Stacia, definitely. She'd be able to maintain my life instead of absolutely blowing it up.
Doc (short for "Document") didn't get much play and the game she was in didn't last very long. She's being recycled for parts and lives on in Genie (generally even-tempered Lupus born and raised in a wolf sanctuary).
I like to build characters collaboratively with a friend or two, WtA is great for that because you need a solid reason to not have a pack at least in the works.
Wyrm; the idea of "everything stays the same forever" is a fuckin' nightmare.
Luna; you don't get into werewolves without having a lot of feelings about the moon.
Older Brother; I'm an information professional IRL!
Shadow Lords, if only for the True Breed requirements of the Silver Fangs.
Wisdom keeps you alive long enough to get the other two.
Changing Breeds; I'm completely happy to keep playing werewolves and let other people have fun with the Fera. (Though I do have a concept for a redeemed Cockroach shifter…)
Hispo. I wanna be a wolf the size of a pony!
I'm skipping the bonus questions because I know a lot of people it would be fun to play with. As long as I have a good group, I know I'm going to have a good time.
WTA ASKS: ABOUT THE PLAYER EDITION
Inspired by (and drawing heavily from, with permission) @diableriedoll's vtm player asks!!! Werewolf divider by @strangergraphics :)
We all know everyone's characters, but what do we know about the player behind the Garou? Let's find out!
Tumblr media
1.Are you a WtA player, storyteller, both or neither? If neither, how do you get your WtA fix? 2. How and when did you get into WtA? 3. Which edition do you play/ prefer? 4. What's your favorite tribe? Why? 5. What's your least favorite tribe? Why? 6. Which tribe/auspice haven't you played/ developed but would love to try? 7. What is your favorite Gift? Why? 8. What is your favorite Rite? Why? 9. What's your favorite patron spirit? Why? 10. What's your favorite Talisman or Talen? Why? 11. Describe your worst Brutal Result and/ or Frenzy that you've played/ seen/ suffered 12. What's your favorite piece of WtA Media? eg. Games, books- pick your fancy! 13. What's been your favorite interaction throughout your WtA experiences? Can be in game, playing video games.. anything.
You and Your Characters
14. How many characters do you have? 15. Who was your first Character? 16. Do you have a comfort character? What makes them special to you? 17. Who is the (in character) oldest and the (in character) youngest? Would they like each other? 18. Do any of your characters have a trait or flaw of your own? If so, what is it? 19. Do you have a character that was created from a dumb/ silly idea but now you can't imagine not having them? 20. You suddenly switch places with one of your characters, which one would you prefer to be? 21. One of your characters takes your place, which one would you prefer to control of your life? 22. Which character is least spoken about? Speak about them now! 23. Is there something specific that influences you for your character creations?
This or That
24. Weaver or Wyrm? 25. Luna or Helios? 26. Older Brother or Younger Brother? Middle Brother? 27. Silver Fang or Shadow Lords?  28. Glory, Honor, or Wisdom?  29. Changing Breeds or Mockery Breeds?  30. Hispo or Glabro?
BONUS QUESTIONS! You have been given a chance to play your perfect Chronicle, let's build it!  31. Who is your Storyteller? 32. Where and when is it set? 33. What is your Auspice? 34. What tribe do you join? 35. Your pack is yourself plus four other players. Who are they? (Can be anyone!). Anyone else you'd want to add to your sept?
32 notes · View notes
tildeathiwillwrite · 15 days ago
Text
Carol of the Bells Be Like:
Sopranos: HARK how the bells SWEET silver bells ALL seem to say THROW cares away---
Altos: Ding... dong... ding... dong... :)
Tenors: *barely audible* oh... how... ha-a-ppy are their tones!
Basses: DING... DONG... DING... DONG... >:O
4 notes · View notes
protect-namine · 3 months ago
Text
you know, I think neji would enjoy playing dnd. getting to write stories and play characters with no limitations, and having to improv with the other players because he would never have full control of where the story was headed? it would be a dream come true, and also therapeutic. neji would of course be the dm who would "yes and" anything his players want to do. the story would be something everyone has input on and would help shape. an adventure that neji himself couldn't predict or write on his own. also, just imagine him describing his setting and doing all his character voices, he'd love that so much
I think it would be a good exercise for quartz too, because they'd have to make their own characters and backstories and roleplay in character without a script to direct them. especially to kisa "transparent vessel" tachibana, who can act out any character but is afraid of letting herself be seen through them. similarly, kai as well, since he'd be in charge of his own character instead of propping someone else up
on the flip side, fumi would get to enjoy playing a character but not having the pressure to be the lead/spotlight of a story. he's there to play, not perform
sou would also LOVE dnd. I think he'd be really into the character creation and lore, and is probably the next person I can think of who can try being the dm when neji is sick/tired/wants to be a player. he's the player who takes down notes and remembers one small detail neji mentioned four sessions ago that becomes relevant to the current session. neji loves him because sou is the one who appreciates his world building the most
suzu and fumi would instigate so much in the adventure, which neji would love. suzu makes a character everyone loves (like hachipochi) and always brings snacks to the table
fumi has read all of the player handbook, and mitsuki has read maybe a quarter of it (only the relevant parts to his character and how some dice rolls and combat work). mitsuki is also the one who doesn't put much effort into his character's backstory but unexpectedly gets big character development during the adventure, surprising everyone in the table including both the dm and himself
otori is very good at both roleplaying and combat, has created a compelling character, and tries to go on solo adventures but eventually gets roped into the party because he can't adventure alone in neji's setting
#mine musings#liveblogging jj#jack jeanne#this would also be like. a way less stressful way for them to practice improv than anything neji makes them do for the class lol#theater kids enjoying dnd? tale as old as time#i am unsure of everyone's classes except for kisa. kisa would be the bard. sou is probably a wizard#i like the idea of kai choosing warlock because then he'd have a patron to play off of#but neji forces him to roleplay more and exercise agency by making his patron unpleasant to be with lmao#i have no idea what fumi would be because like. if this was acting he'd be a high charisma character. but he's here to play not perform#i think the class closest to his natural self would be sorcerer but idk maybe he wants to do something different when playing#like... rogue. it's so un-fumi-like but it would be fun for him i think precisely because it's not like him#suzu is the one most unfamiliar with the rules so he chooses fighter/barbarian. he's very good nonetheless#also we need a melee character here or someone with high str lol#and suzu would enjoy being the athletic character who brings victory to the team#mitsuki looks at everyone's character sheets. sighs. chooses cleric because SOMEONE has to be the healer in the group :/#but he also likes being the support to everyone so it works out#just like with kai. neji makes mitsu roleplay more by making him frequently engage with his deity of choice#idk what otori would choose but i like the idea of him being a paladin. i think that suits him#neji is usually the dm but when he's the player he can be anything. he has the same problem as fumi#but while fumi chooses a character different from himself. neji would just go full eccentric#so maybe a druid who keeps changing to different animals. or an artificer with weird/creative inventions#actually i think sou would be a good dm for a neji who wants to play artificer. he'd be intimidated at first but he can roll with it
7 notes · View notes
camgoloud · 7 months ago
Text
look it’s not really that i wish i was in a relationship because the last couple of years which i have spent firmly and resolutely single after finally getting over the All That which went down between me and the last person i had any serious romantic interest in have been without question the happiest years of my life. and it’s also not really that i wish all of my friends WEREN’T in relationships because i want them to be happy et cetera et cetera. but this whole thing where both situations are happening at the same time (i.e. me: single; literally every one of them: not) does have me feeling a little. weird i guess.
8 notes · View notes
fuckyeahelenapaparizou · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Helena Paparizou in Melodifestivalen 2014
Heat 1 [x]
Andra Chansen - Round 1 [x]
Andra Chansen - Duels [x]
Final [x]
7 notes · View notes
nikidykeachu · 2 years ago
Text
Based on this post :D , (some of) the eggs in baile folklorico clothes
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I might do the rest of the eggs another time but for now these are the eggs I've done^^;
28 notes · View notes
transmechanicus · 2 years ago
Text
“I’ll be fine i just need to uhhhhhhh idk kill” but like…what if i did haha
#my stuff#dear diary and the several thousand mfs who can see it. Despite arguably good academic performance today feels like a bad day#bc i skipped lab to take a nap#and i feel lonely and incapable of connecting more than superficially with my classmates#like i can talk to them and i do and we get along well but i never…hang out w em#or at least not as much as they seem to without me#it’s not a malicious thing i think a huge part of it is groups of ppl living or working in the same space#and i’m in a different lab building than a lot of ppl#idk…struggling to find anything that sparks joy. unable to see the future with optimism#it’s just day after day of Job where i’ll beat myself up on weekends if i don’t do Even More Work#bc that’s the nature of grad school. always homework or literature review to do like i give a shit abt the latter#i don’t care what other people are doing i don’t wanna obsessively comb through journals to make sure i’m doing Brand New Shit#i want it to stop#i don’t want to read anymore. i don’t wanna have to worry about my job outside of work.#i want to cry and scream and#like i don’t wanna quit after i worked so hard to get here#i don’t wanna wuss out#but i’m always tired. i’m never rested or relaxed or truly enjoying myself#why is this only hard for me…how tf is everyone else able to read and remember and understand this much??#like yeah maybe i should be on adhd meds but those are fuckin spensive and a pain in the ass to get#i’m tired of being tough#i want to curl into a ball and be told it’s going to be okay and that i can rest and have it not be a lie or a half measure
35 notes · View notes
thatrandombystander · 7 months ago
Text
How do I have social plans for five of the seven upcoming weekends?? Like some sort of freak with a social life????
2 notes · View notes
britneyshakespeare · 10 months ago
Text
no offense but when 2pm came back from a five-year hiatus in 2021. i'm still not over that
3 notes · View notes