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This website really needs the option to block individual posts, like "hmm no, this one's shit, never show me this again."

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let’s be cocooned by mama

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Mastercard and visa have reported to a couple news outlets that they are currently being swamped with calls and complaints. Keep up the pressure and try to (politely) insist that you leave a complaint via phone instead of letting the rep direct you to emails. It's way easier to be overwhelmed by a much smaller number of calls so each one counts for a bit more!

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There is a species of butterfly that lives in the mountains.

When it hatches as a caterpillar, it lowers itself to the ground on a strand of silk, and then produces a chemical that smells like the larvae of ants. An ant eventually discovers it, lured by the scent, and brings it back to the anthill, where it is cared for by the colony until it pupates. After a few weeks, the adult butterfly crawls back up through the anthill, through the dirt and the winding tunnels, and out into the sunlight before it can finally open its wings.

Some say that the caterpillar “tricks” the ants into doing this. I don’t know if I agree – I think it’s too small a thing to accuse of guile, don’t you?

With this in mind: Once upon a time, there were seven dwarves.

They lived and worked in the mountains, mining for gold and jewels and precious things. And one night, after a long day’s labour, they heard a knocking at the great stone doors of their mountain.

Outside, shivering and small, they found a human child.

I’m sure you can guess most of what she told them. Stepmothers were involved – it’s not important. What’s important was that each of the dwarves felt a dire and pressing need to care for the child, and they took her into their home, fed her, clothed her, and gave her a warm bed to sleep in. And many seasons passed around that mountain, with the dwarves raising the child as one of their own, until one autumn’s day.

The girl laid, slender and still, in a coffin of spun glass. And some weeks later, one of the dwarves had the idea to call for a prince. This was of course the sensible thing to do, and the prince of a nearby kingdom who listened to the story thought an ensorcelled girl would be a grand thing to rescue.

Poor devils. It feels cruel to judge them. But there were so many questions they could’ve asked – what was this stepmother’s name? Was she real? Did she exist? Who had made the glass coffin? Surely one of them must’ve thought of the question. And why did it grow more opaque with every passing day?

Were they wrong to trust?

I guess it doesn’t matter now.

The moment the prince stepped into the subterranean chamber with the glass coffin, it shivered with a twinkling, plinking noise. Threads of glass exploded into glittering, razor-edged confetti.

A claw split the great glass cocoon.

The thing that spilled out of it, hulking and huge, knew in the fog of its mind, in a base animal sense that screamed, that it was in a room too small for it to fit. It wanted up. It wanted out.

In front of it was some twiggy little thing holding a sword.

It took its first breath.

The flames were the colour of cornflowers.

The dwarves fled. The thing followed close behind, up, up, up through the stone and the winding tunnels, not to chase, not to hunt, but to get up, to get out, out, out–

It struck the great stone doors at a run. They crumbled like gingerbread. And then there was sunlight, and the open sky…

And it could finally open its wings.

Convergent evolution is a hell of a thing.

The dragon, of course, lived happily ever after with its loot of gold and jewels from a hastily abandoned dwarf mine. Being much bigger than a caterpillar, we could accuse it of tricking the dwarves who were kind to it, had taken it in, had fed and clothed and warmed it.

It probably wouldn't mind.

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Sometimes reading Arthuriana feels like reading Alice in Wonderland.

“Well,” said Alice, “these are a dreadfully strange assortment of objects!”

“They all symbolize different aspects of Our Lord’s martyrdom,” said the Fisher King, casting a line into his teacup.

“Indeed. I am sure everything symbolizes something else, for if everything was only itself I should be very confused. Might I ask what the point of the bleeding lance is?”

Alice regretted asking the question as soon as she had done so, for she saw the pun that would likely be made about the word point. Instead, however, the room erupted in applause and shouts of “The Grail! She has achieved the Grail!”

The next castle she visited, Alice resolved to herself as the inhabitants of this one danced for joy, would be more sensible.

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the world is running out of glassblowers and yet you want to become a fucking doctor

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Every time I see news coverage of a protest I remember this image of a single overturned trashcan in front of The Washington Post building

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Fantasy Guide to Illegitimate Children

I often get asks about illegitimate children and what their lives would be like in a typical fantasy setting. In many cultures, to be born or to have a child out of the bounds of marriage, it is extremely taboo and can result in some social ostracism while in others, it isn't seen as a very big deal and illegitimate children could rise to places of power.

Double-Standards

All illegitimate children are born outside marriage but not all illegitimate children are made equally. Most of the time, illegitimate children born to the poor can experience worse treatment by their community. If they are born to an unwed mother or a mother who gave birth to them outside of marriage, their mother may be denied services in the community such as housing and employment and be shunned publicly. A royal or noblewoman would also face the same scrutiny and be shunned from all high society and may even be imprisoned or executed. They faced more dangerous circumstances if they were married, mainly because they have put the succession of their children into question which could be grounds to disinherit their other children which could lead to larger issues. However, the father of an illegitimate children would likely not face too much scrutiny. While frowned upon, especially if he has quite a few illegitimate children and/or doesn't support them. A nobleman or royal father could father children without too much scrutiny, again in moderation.

Child Support

Illegitimate Children were not equal to legitimate children in a good many Western Cultures. In most cultures of the west, illegitimate children were not entitled to anything their parents owned or could lay claim to and if on the off-chance they were to inherit, it is only when all illegitimate claimants are out of the picture. Illegitimate children of royals or nobles were not in line for titles, crowns and lands - in fact, they were only provided for when their father wanted to. When the father did, he could see that they were educated, treated almost the same as his legitimate children - a good many illegitimate royals could count themselves in for a Dukedom or Earldom, with a fine marriage in the future and a lot of wealth and position (especially if the mother is also aristocratic). A poorer father might offer the mother up-keep for herself and the child but again, this is his own choice and he may not offer support. However, in other cultures, an illegitimate child could receive the same if not better treatment than their legitimate siblings. In the Ottoman Empire, a Sultan was expected to father children with women of the harem, who he was not married to in order to sire the next generation of royal heirs. The daughters born of these unions were often married to high ranking advisors and court and granted education and luxury like that of royal princesses while sons were often granted fine educations and later in life, provinces to reign over. Under Ancient Hindu Laws, children could inherit from their mothers and depending on circumstances their fathers. In China and Japan, while children born to concubines with all the same honours as legitimate children they weren't ostracised and were often raised with many of the same luxuries and amenities.

Prospects

An illegitimate child may not be on the same equal footing as their legitimate counterparts but that doesn't mean they are blocked from every good thing about life. They could be educated, they could marry well, they could rise high in society but their birth status may still be used against them. They may be believed to carry some stigma, be seen as dishonest or more inclined to act a certain way - which is all bullshit but the village is going to judge regardless. Illegitimate children born into higher ranking families might gain high positions of power, receiving high military positions or advisory positions at court to support their siblings. They may even marry to improve their family's status, with illegitimate royals even marrying other royals or nobles.

Relationships

Illegitimate children may have close relationships with their parents but that depends on the relationship between their parents and whether they have any contact with them. Illegitimate children may be raised alongside their legitimate siblings in order to foster good relationships between the siblings. Illegitimate children might have good relations with their step-parents but this is up to the step-parent. Some step-parents refuse to have the illegitimate child. An aristocratic father might set up his illegitimate child on an estate with a household of their own. Depending on the circumstances of their birth, their extended families may accept them as relatives or reject them.

Legitimization

I often get hypothetical questions on what happens when a royal or noble illegitimate child gets legitimized. Legitimization is when the illegitimate child is made legitimate by decree. This is usually through four ways: the parents marry and the legitimization is retroactive (this isn't always accepted), the illegitimate child is legitimized by the crown, or by religious authority or the government passes a bill of legitimization. However, this doesn't mean the child has all the rights of a legitimate child. Some royal or noble children could inherit but usually only after their legitimate siblings, nieces and nephews. Sometimes they are entitled to use certain styles and titles, they may be allowed to call themselves Prince/Princess or the courtesy title of their parents. However, legitimization is usually only carried out when there is either a deficit of legit heirs or enough of a surplus that legitimizing an illegitimate child is almost no danger. Most royals and nobles don't opt to legitimize their offspring in order to ensure the succession is protected and the overall peace preserved.

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cleaning with ADHD is a nightmare. it’s an endless cycle of finding a half-finished chore and stopping the one you were already working on, then remembering that something else needs to be done and getting started on that, then finding half-finished chore and

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Everyone: Please please please don't write your books in Google Docs. Frankly don't use Google Drive for personal stuff.

Their terms of service say they take down stuff like content related to terrorism and trafficking, but this Google Sheet was literally a list of movies I'd watched this year and books I'd read.

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patch hole in jeans

go for a walk

trip

new hole in new patch on jeans

????? okay fuck you too buddy. whatever. i'll fucking show you, how about this

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I love you so much I hope we get reborn as housecats who sleep together like puzzle pieces

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Going to see children and adolescents dance badly, play ball badly, sing badly, play recorder badly because they are young: YES! YOU ARE LEARNING! INCREDIBLE!

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You see I too often sat in school classes and thought “when am I ever going to need this, I’m never going to be an engineer, I’m never gonna be a scientist, I’m never gonna be a linguist” and then I grew up and it turns out a lot of bigots and cults and scams and grifts hinge their entire business model on you just. Not knowing what a protein is or some shit

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Slice of life tabletop RPG about former living superweapons trying to integrate into human society, with mechanics riffing on many groups' propensity to house-rule critical success rules into their games even in contexts where it doesn't make sense (e.g., like you're trying to persuade someone to do you a favour and you crit and accidentally rewrite their entire personality or something), set up in such a way that it's very easy to score critical successes and complicated steps have to be taken to avoid it.

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