#and dick later gets over his crush and they are best friends who every now and then joke about the early years of their relationship

[farshootergotme]

Anyone else thinks DC should've made Dick and Barbara's relationship be more like Dipper and Wendy's from Gravity Falls? As in "I had childhood crush on an older girl who's now just one of my closest friends"?? Just me? Okay...

[badbtssmut]

Kinktober Masterlist!

Day 1 to 10

🎃 Naughty but mine; when you misbehave at a house party, your boyfriend Taehyung gives you exactly what you’ve been asking for.

🎃 Highly inappropriate; you, Taehyung and your best friend and Tae gf’s Aerum are high af one night.

🎃 Babymaker; you want a baby, but you just broke up with your boyfriend... but luckily your friend Jungkook is here to save the day.

🎃 Special preparations; you go to a piercing shop to get a clit piercing but your piercer Jungkook has an interesting way of prepping his clients.

🎃 Silent watch; your bodyguard Jimin is standing right outside your bedroom door when you moan his name as you play with yourself.

🎃 Good at sharing; your boyfriend Jimin invites you over for movie night, however it becomes painfully clear that his roommate Jungkook has a crush on you.

🎃 Their pleasure; your only job is to serve Taehyung and his wife.

🎃 Teach me; you want to learn how to give blowjobs so you ask your best friend’s brother Taehyung to teach you.

🎃 A special class; you bring your best friend Taehyung to a special class.

🎃 Strictly business; your boyfriend Taehyung might be a tough and important guy at the office but at home he's just a subby boy who only wants cuddles and finds comfort in your nipples.

Day 10 to 20

🎃 Make me see stars; your friends bring you to a special show starring stripper Jimin, but you get more than a lapdance from him on stage.

🎃 Like old times; in the past, you and your best friend enjoy spending time together by having threesomes, now years later you reconnect and this time she offers her husband Jungkook.

🎃 All onboard; when pirate Jungkook wants you, he wants you right now, even if it’s in front of the sailor men on his ship.

🎃 Told you so; your friends don’t believe you when you brag to them about how Jungkook’s dick makes you see stars, so you show them.

🎃 Waves of pleasure; you meet a blonde hunk named Taehyung at the beach who invites you over to his van for some special alone time.

🎃 Give it to me now; angry about your doctoral thesis, you decide to decompress on your gamer boyfriend Jungkook’ cock.

🎃 Code blue; your friend with benefits Jungkook had a horrible first date so you milk him dry until he forgets all about her.

🎃 Wet deck; on a yacht with the maknae line, you start fucking them— not caring who sees.

🎃 Seven minutes; Taehyung and Jungkook send you to heaven in a spooky encounter at your neighbour’s Halloween party.

🎃 VIP treatment; every concert, Hybe staff search for the sexiest big tits and ass fan, to bring to the green room for a fun time with Taehyung and his friends.

Day 20 to 31

🎃 Knock out; after winning his last fight and being sexless for a week, Jungkook gives his girlfriend the most hardcore fuck ever.

🎃 Please please please; your needy and whiny boyfriend Jungkook begs you to ride him while he cannot stop praising you.

🎃 Sweet revenge; after your husband cheats on you, you decide to take revenge by sleeping with father-in-law jungkook.

🎃 Admit it; your friends get tired of seeing you and Jungkook beat around the bush, so they give you a little push.

🎃 A special party; when your friends organize a surprise bachelorette party you did not expect to get railed by stripper Jungkook.

🎃 She a fan; idol Jungkook takes a girl home and to his surprise, she has the logo of his group tattooed on her arm.

🎃 Mr perfect; you test out the hyper realistic humanoid robot named Jungkook you and your research team have created, it’s all for science, right?

🎃 Lucky girl; you caught the eye of your favorite idol Jungkook and he takes you to a hotel room.

🎃 Halloween party; after being invited by your friend to the 18+ Halloween party in town, you get fucked by three hot guys.

🎃 This is not a drill; your boyfriends are back from military service and you’re eager to catch up what they missed.

🎃 Succubus hotline; one lonely halloween, you try out your luck by calling the succubus hotline, thinking it’s just a silly prank.

[takami-takami]

Scent Kink!Keigo who's raptorial senses have been finely honed like a sharpened blade for as long as he can remember. For all his analytical prowess, he could never quite pinpoint the exact cause of his heightened senses. Perhaps it, like most things, is a combination of nature and nurture— avian DNA and brutal, militant training. The source matters little to him. Keigo has always been one for outcomes.

Scent Kink!Keigo who discovers pretty early on in your friendship that your scent is distinct. If he could put it into words, the first that would come to mind is warm. It smells warm when he sits next to you on the couch, bouncing his leg like a dog that smells something delectable right under its nose yet tries to behave and contain himself all the same. Your neck is perfectly bare. If he could just lean over and bury his nose in whatever crevice is most available, he'd die a happy man. 

Scent Kink!Keigo who is actually so normal about your scent, all these years later. Sure, he memorizes your smell, conjures up the scent in his mind's eye whenever he has trouble sleeping at night. The thought of it soothes him, aids in building his picturesque fantasies of you holding him from behind and shushing the bad dreams away. But he's very normal about it. Of course he's attached— you're his best friend.

Scent Kink!Keigo who can't remember the first time your scent began to cause his pants to grow tight. He thinks it was that night you arrived late for your usual meetup, panting and running before throwing your arms around him and apologizing, promising you ran just to make sure he didn't wait too long. He remembers his eyes widening while his pupils shrunk to dots, overwhelmed by the potency of you invading every sense. It made his cock throb. He made an excuse to hide in the bathroom within the hour.

Scent Kink!Keigo who does a remarkable job at containing the whine in his throat when you show him around your new apartment, quickly discovering you didn't bother to put away your laundry basket before he arrived. Why should you worry about your best friend seeing it? Keigo would never hold ill intentions. Keigo would never stuff a pair of your panties in his back pocket, Keigo wouldn't dream of fantasizing the second he secures it, flashes of the misbehavior he could get up to conjured quickly in his mind.

Scent Kink!Keigo who fidgets and avoids your eyes when you insist he stay so you can feed him takeout that night. The weight of his prize stings against his thigh; and as much as he loves your company, something else is calling to his attention right now. He quickly makes an excuse, faking a dispatch call by your window and waving once before he takes flight.

Scent Kink!Keigo who's brain glitches when he gets home and realizes he has to decide what to do first: take out his cock to touch himself and relieve the pressure straining in his pants, or pull your used panties out of his pocket. He picks the second option.

Scent Kink!Keigo who's whining in his bed moments later, your scent finally rubbed across his face with his hand fisting between his legs. It's like static when he twists his wrist with each stroke, imagining the smell of sex in the air as you ride his cock. Eyes rolled into the back of his skull, he swears the scent of your freshly used panties is enough. At least for tonight. At least until he needs a little refresher for his memory and has to snag another.

Scent Kink!Keigo who thinks he's a degenerate. He's a pervert. He's a sick freak who gets off on his crush's panties stuffing his mouth to muffle his moans, his saliva drenching the poor fabric; and he's even sicker for getting his dick wet to the thought of you catching him and repeating those insults in his ear while you sit on his face. He's sick, imagining himself inhaling it right from the source, spilling all over his abdomen to the thought of it.

Scent Kink!Keigo who is entirely, utterly fucked when you decide to move in together as roommates. Trouble isn't something he considered before. He's too excited by the idea of being around you to consider the repercussions on his mental health to be in such close proximity to you when night falls.

Scent Kink!Keigo who doesn't know whether it's a blessing or a curse that your room is directly adjacent to his. He knows exactly when you're touching yourself in the next room over.

Scent Kink!Keigo who throws his head back with a groan, hand ghosting down his happy trail and sliding beneath his waistband to grab his swelling cock again.

[sugar-omi]

[part 2/alt, fem/afab reader]

imagine deciding to lose your virginity to cove.

you're both eighteen, horny as shit, but you don't wanna give it up to just anyone. so it only makes sense to lose it to your best friend right? and not some college douche who'll only brag about popping another freshman cherry

cove's so flustered when the thought is put out there.

it doesn't even matter who asks first, because after the proposal is floating between you, neither of you can even think if you or him said it. the words, the idea. the thought of doing the act.

and when cove finally, but tentatively, leans forward to kiss you. it's all downhill.

it's a messy kiss, because even if you know how to kiss, you're both too excited to even bother worrying about making out like stupidly inexperienced teens, your tongues sliding along each other and your eyes rolling when cove sucks on your tongue, pulling at your clothes, flinging off his own clothes when you pull away to tug off yours.

you can hardly get your shirt over your head before his lips smash into yours, his body leaning forward, which forces you to lay back on the bed, arms tangled around his neck and cove's trailing from your jaw to neck, down your collarbone to your abdomen, leaving wet, dark hickeys along the way.

you can scold him later. but can you really complain since you've left your own set of hickeys on cove, some darker than others, sure to be evident for days

and even though it's his first time, he's a bit relentless. enthusiastically eating you out / sucking you off until you're begging him to get off, jumping and whining every time his fingers curl against your gummy walls

and when he finally sinks into you, he kisses your tears away, soothes you as he slowly sinks inside. he's trying to be patient. but his head is spinning and his senses are totally fogged up.

he's so sweet, really. holds your hand and everything, praises you, tells you he loves you. isn't even sure if he means it as a friend or as a crush, the lines of your friendship is blurred now. after this, it'd be way too awkward to go back to just "best friends", right?

but you trust him, you said so. both of you trust each other enough to at least not regret sharing your first time with each other

and even when his gentle, shallow thrusts turn into his hips slapping against your butt, his cock head bullying your sensitive cervix / prostate, even when you sob because you can't help but finish prematurely around his length, and locking your legs around him so he doesn't pull out.

can't even bring himself to worry about anything afterwards when you're making such a pretty face, hot and sweaty, your face twisted up with pleasure and you're clinging onto him for more

kisses you to muffle your moans, you're both far too loud, even if you have the house to yourselves right now. what if someone comes back?

it's so intimate this way. his arms wrapped around you, his dick lovingly stroking and hitting all those sweet spots inside you.

it's even intimate when he carefully cleans you up afterwards, as if apologizing for getting carried away, and audibly apologizing for biting your shoulder when he came

he didn't mean to be so rough, promises he won't do it again.

startles himself when he says it, he doesn't mean to be presumptuous! he doesn't expect this twice! but i mean.. there's time before you leave for college, so maybe a little more experience won't hurt..

[princessmaybank]

New Message

Pairings: JJ x fem!bestfriend!xreader

Warnings: MDNI, unsolicited dick pic, sexting, mention of masterbation, making out, etc.

Summary: JJ woke Y/N up at early hours of the morning because he needed her help.

Authors Note: Enjoy! Let me know if I should write a part 2!

I woke up to the sound of my phone going off. I looked at the clock that sat next to my bed. It read 1:36am.

*1 New Message from Jayj <3*

JJ: Hey are you awake?

I groaned. What could my best friend possibly need at this time? Was he in trouble? Was he hurt? I had no idea.

Y/N: I am now. What's up are you okay??

I wasn't expecting an immediate response but that's what I got.

JJ: No I need your help

Y/N: What's wrong?? Do I need to come get you?

JJ: No but if you came over I wouldn't mind 😉

That is not the kind of response that you use when your friend thinks you are dying, well unless you are JJ Maybank.

Y/N: Okay then what do you need?? Why did you wake me up???

JJ: I'm hornyyyyy

A sudden redness shot to my cheeks. JJ definitely play flirted with his friends, including me but this takes the cake. Yes he was hot, yes I had a little crush on him, no I did not expect this.

Y/N: Uhm- why are you telling me this JJ?

JJ: Bc you're my best friend, and I've noticed the way you've been looking at me. You undress me with your eyes every time you see me

Somehow I was blushing even harder than before. How did he know? Before I could respond I heard my phone ding again.

JJ: I know you wanna see what I'm packing, you're at least a lil curious.

(Authors Note: MDNI!!! This is a RANDOM dick pic I found online. Please proceed at your own risk.)

I gasped. I wasn't entirely ready to see that, but I'm not gonna lie I did like it.

Y/N: JJ. You're my best friend, and don't you have a line of girls ready for you at all times?

JJ: I mean I guess, but none of them are you.

JJ WANTED ME?!?! OF ALL PEOPLE, MY BEST FRIEND WHO I HAVE HAD A CRUSH ON FOR A YEAR, WANTS ME?!?!

Y/N: What do you need from me JJ?

JJ: I need you to talk dirty to me please. I'll do anything.

I gave in so quickly. This could be the one chance I have with him.

Y/N: Are you touching yourself baby?

This was my first time talking like this so I had no idea what I was doing.

JJ: Just for you princess.

The thought of JJ touching himself to me and calling me princess got me extremely excited.

I couldn't stop my hand from creeping into my pants as I texted JJ back with my non-dominant hand.

Y/N: Mmm Jayj I can't stop thinking about your huge cock.

JJ: Oh fuck, please tell me you are touching yourself too.

I wasn't sure if I should lie or not.

Y/N: Of course I am after seeing you.

JJ: Good girl.

Fuck. Me. That is so hot, especially coming from him of all people.

Y/N: JJ I need you. I can't just do this by myself. I'm no good at dirty talk.

JJ: *Read 2:04 AM*

Oh no. He hates me now. He knew I wasn't experienced but he was always nice about that. This will be awkward to bring up at a later time.

About 10 minutes went by and I heard a *tink* on my window. I look over and see JJ sitting on my roof waving back at me. I eagerly opened my window and welcomed him in. Before I could get any words to leave my mouth his hands found my hips and his lips had found mine. He walked me backwards until my legs hit the edge of my bed. He laid me down and continued our deep kiss.

"Fuck you're so hot." He whispered in my ear after sucking on my soft spot. There would definitely be a mark on my neck for a little while. I blushed when I heard him call me that. No one has ever called me that. Then I started to get self conscious. "JJ...before we continue I want to know your intentions." "Y/N. I have been in love with you since the day we met. I was waiting for you for years. I realized you probably would never want me, so I started acting like a slut. But my intentions are to please you tonight and hopefully every night for the rest of our lives. Ya know if you let me ask you out." I couldn't stop the redness forming in my cheeks. I tried to put up a wall of confidence really fast. "Is that your way of asking Maybank? Or just what you say to all of your random hookups?" My eyebrow lifted as I stared into his gorgeous blue eyes. "Maybe it is, and I've never said that to anyone else, I cross my heart and hope to die." His eyes never left mine as he made the hand motions to go with his phrase. I trusted him. I trusted this man with my whole heart. I didn't say anything, I just attached my lips to his once again. This was going to be a long night and a good life.

(Authors Note: Let me know if you'd like a part two! I was going to write a whole sex scene but I thought this was already long enough.)

[alice-after-dark]

A Dark Web Romance (Concept)

Just a fun concept that has been sitting in my drafts for a while.

@hiemaldesirae hope you feel better :)

TW for violence, abusive relationships, vaguely implied sexual abuse, cannibalism, gore, murder, implied NSFT, and other canon-typical triggers. Contains abusive StaticMoth.

Vincent Haynes, who goes by the online name "Vox," is an elite hacker who makes his money on the Dark Web doing jobs for the worst of the worst. It is through this work that he becomes acquainted with a user known as TheRadioDemon, a cannibalistic serial killer who hosts a podcast. Vox has never missed a show since discovering him and has developed a crush on the man. Sure, he may not have any interest in which parts of the human body are best suited for a stew, but he is more than willing to listen to that gorgeous voice explain it to him in graphic detail while he carves said flesh off his screaming victim.

When the host expresses difficulty with his website, Vox jumps at the opportunity and soon the two are exchanging private messages daily, even long after the problem has been fixed.

One day months later he meets Alastor Bourreau, a new resident in their apartment complex who has moved into the apartment across from Vox. Hailing from New Orleans, he has come to New York City for a change of scenery, a "change of flavor" as he puts it.

There is something...familiar about the man, but Vox can't put his finger on it.

Vox and Alastor become fast friends, something Vox's boyfriend, a jealous and unstable pimp named Valentino, does not approve of. Their relationship began after Valentino hired Vox to do some work for his snuff website and now Vox is trapped in Valentino's never ending cycle of love-bombing and abuse. He is too scared to leave the pimp, knowing full well that Valentino could have him killed if he wanted to.

He expresses these fears to TheRadioDemon during their nightly chat after a particularly bad fight that leaves Vox with two broken ribs and a sprained wrist.

And suddenly Valentino stops calling him. He stops showing up at his apartment unannounced over some perceived slight or another. He stops contacting him altogether. It's strange and confusing and Vox doesn't know what to make of it. Valentino won't answer his calls. In fact, they all go straight to voicemail until finally the inbox is full and he can't leave any more.

He decides Valentino is probably on another one of his binges and that he'll hear from him eventually.

But he doesn't. What he gets instead is a link to a livestream sent to him from TheRadioDemon. That's...strange. TheRadioDemon has never been a visual person, always sticking to his podcast format. Still, he clicks on it without hesitation.

Front and center is Valentino.

The man is strapped into a medical chair with his chest cut wide open. Vox can see the rise and fall of the man's lungs. A message pops into his inbox.

Do you like it, darling? He broke your ribs, so I took his. I also took the liberty of removing that foul tongue of his.

Another message.

What should I take next?

Vox already knows what he wants before the question even comes.

Cut off his fucking dick.

It's three hours before the video ends, the main chat alight with suggestions and comments. The video goes dark every time TheRadioDemon acts, broadcasting Valentino's agonized gurgles and wails and cutting back on to reveal the new damage done. Vox says no more, simply sits back and watches the show.

He is only half watching Valentino though. Instead, his gaze is constantly being drawn to the small red fawn plush sitting on the metal table, starkly innocent beside the bloodied instruments of torture and placed so purposefully.

He knows that plush. He bought that plush.

Moments after stream ends finds him in front of Alastor's door. He's barely had time to knock when it opens and he is yanked inside and subsequently slammed up against the door and kissed.

"I was so hoping you'd catch on," Alastor mumbles against his lips. "I've had my eyes on you ever since you first tuned into my broadcast. I could hardly contain myself when I finally found you. You looked so delicious."

Vox isn't sure if he means that literally or figuratively and he doesn't care. It might be both. It's probably both. He's okay with that.

[killerlookz]

Hey, little late to the party, just wanted to say It Can’t Be That Easy was such a banger!  It really made it clear to me how much guilt Joost has. Like, you were telling us this whole time, especially in No Going Back, but now I really gEt it. Legit didn’t know I could read bro comforting reader about hickies he got from another girl and still be like awwww he cares about them so much🥺

Can’t stop thinking about how Joost is so sweet and caring for drunk reader while Michael is such a dick about them drinking at all. 

When he says stuff like "You deserve this. And more, just sorry I'm showing you that so late." it makes me think him and reader could be less toxic if they got back together. Idk maybe I’m crazy. It’s written that both of them contributed to their problems but that Joost seemingly did so a little bit more. Are you hinting that he’s learning? That he wants to do better? That the process of breaking up and the messy extended ensuing events of the series are all a learning process?? The process they need to learn they want to be better to each other (and that there is no one else they want to be better for 👀)???  Or am I delulu and it’s all just about guilt? 😂

Praying that Joost learns to communicate exactly what he’s actually thinking🙏

If you cant tell, I’m one of those people who always wants happy endings so perhaps just ignore me. Only you know what the vision is. I just want the best for these hoes. Maybe they can find a less toxic way to be around each other if they really can’t stay away😩😂

Also, I’m guessing Lina wasn’t so happy he took reader home😂 Is he seeing Lina and/or other people during the rest of the series too? Curious 🤔 (even if he was making out with her in the bathroom he did nOt want to meet her friends and did nOt want to leave the couch to go dance with her later so I wonder how much she is just a distraction from how crushed he is and it doesn’t last)

Man, I keep thinking even if reader’s relationship with Joost was toxic Michael is so much worse wth. The cuck chair in every hotel room was designed specifically for Michael.

This was long. No need to respond. Just needed to flail at you. Heartbeat! au has me by the throat.

P.S. If a mf talked about me like I wasn’t there like Lina did about reader on the couch there would be a physical altercation. Reader is strong.

P.S.S. ‘You peek your head from the room, then step out, feeling like a child walking to your parents bedroom to tell them you just threw up.’ Is hiLARious 😂

P.S.S.S. ‘“Not worth crying over. Wasting tears." The idea of wasting tears had never made much sense to you, what were you meant to save them for? Something important? This was important, Joost was important, your relationship was important- and you had ruined it. That was worth crying over.’      You are KILLING me dude

P.S.S.S.S. ‘You had thought things were supposed to get better after breaking off a toxic relationship, not worse.’ Is DEVASTATING WTFFFF this could be the tag line for the entire series I swear

thank you so much for your inbox this is so sweet 😭 thank you for taking the time out of your day to write all this omfg i love reading everyone’s thought so <333

yes joost is SAURRR guilty thru this whole series … like …. sooo guilty …. so so guilty … poor little guy :-( or not poor guy … maybe he shouldn’t have fucked up the first time … oops

- as for joost seeing other girls throughout the series … well this does take place in his “fuckboy” era so…… 😇

- THE CUCK CHAIR IN EVERY HOTEL ROOM WAS DESIGNED FOR MICHAEL??? im fucking dead plssss 😭

- hmmm…. altercation between lina and reader… much to think about!

anyways thank you for your kind words <333 mwa

[jakeluppin]

a couple asks ago, you said "whenever I start working on my novel, the first song I listen to is Pin" and now i'm super curious about your novel!! care to share any details??

okay so i have two (well, i have like twenty i've done bits on since i started writing but two that are still somewhat being worked on now) but one of them is barely anything beyond a rough idea so i'll focus on the one that's more legit

i wrote about 90% of a first draft (about 60K) and then realized there were some fundamental issues with it so i started over

i have about 16K done of my new draft, some of which is brand new and some of which is revised from the first

it's a ya romance because that's where my heart has always been

for main characters we have (which as i'm writing these i realize i am So Bad at describing characters in this way whoops):

jake - jewish trans guys who is only out to his older sister (rachel). at this point, their parents are gone/dead (i've been back and forth on exactly what went down) so rachel's raising him. he's been in love with his best friend (caleb) since basically forever. he does stage crew for his school's theater department.

caleb - jake's best friend. he's gay. he has a crush on their mutual friend peter. he's one of those people who are just so loving that it's so easily to just get lost in. but also a total dick at the same time?

peter - he's really into theater, always in every production, which is how jake and peter met. just before the story starts peter and caleb were running lines for something and peter kisses caleb. described by other characters as being the nicest person you've ever met.

and then there's asher - his family just moved to town as his mom is the new cantor at jake's synagogue. he's also into theater and auditions for the fall musical, alongside peter. jake and caleb are there watching and jake hears him sing and is like. oh. shit. i'm in love. it's not revealed until midway through the book but asher is also a trans guy.

it's basically just a coming of age love story where jake finds himself and love and it's just really gay and jewish and probably very self indulgent but who cares?

oh also i have switched which musical they do multiple times for various reasons and right now it's Newsies but it may change again. but obviously asher, my beloved, is cast as davey jacobs so it is pretty perfect in that regard

gonna just throw some random lines/short scenes from draft two under the cut because i can. feel free to not read them haha

“You can’t seriously be doing homework now,” Caleb scoffs a moment later. 

I look up from my assignment and just shrug. “I’m simply not as invested in this as you are,” I offer.

“But you should be. For me. This is an important moment in my love life.”

I chuckle. “I love you, Caleb, but I think overall if I was as invested in your love life as you are, that would be a little weird.”

“Nope. I’m pretty sure it’s in the best friend manual that you’re supposed to care about it as much as I do. Sometimes maybe even more.”

“Can I have a copy of this best friend manual? I want to check the exact wording on that.”

“Sorry, only one copy was made and I keep it under lock and key.” Caleb smiles bright, and I roll my eyes in response.

--

“But seriously, you were amazing at your audition. I’m not just saying that or anything.”

“Thanks. I grew up singing. I think my mom might have disowned me if I didn’t end up with a good voice.”

“Really?” 

Asher laughs again. “Wow, you are gullible or I am not as funny as I think I am. But no, my mom would not have disowned me if I didn’t have a good voice.”

It’s this moment that Rabbi Finkle steps out of her office and says, “Asher, don’t lie. No self respecting cantor could stand to have unmusical children, just like I couldn’t stand to have children who do anything but read torah all day.” She smiles at us both, light in her eyes.

“Isn’t your oldest an atheist?” I ask.

“Yes, but he still reads torah ever day.” She laughs.

--

“So how was it?” I ask, sliding in Caleb’s car. He smiles wide as he turns to face me.

“Peter was amazing. Obviously. There’s something just, sexy about watching a guy dance.” He pauses, sighing, and then says, “I’m really gay.”

I laugh. “Really? I had no idea!”

“Yeah, not like I told you for the first time when we were like, nine or something.”

“Oh yeah, that definitely never happened.” 

Caleb chuckles and drives off. 

I can vividly remember when Caleb came out, the emotions so strong they stay pressed in mind. I can remember his fear, his hesitation, as he told me in a small voice that he liked boys. I can remember the confusion, not understanding what he meant, not sure what that meant for me. I can remember the happiness and his smile when I said there was nothing wrong with him “like liking” boys. I remember the ache I felt, when after telling him I like boys too, he told me “girls are supposed to like boys.” That ache I didn’t understand, that ache I couldn’t place for years, that ache that would come when Caleb would refer to me as a girl. 

“Were you scared telling me?” I ask a few minutes later, even though I know the fundamental answer.

“Of course,” he says. “I was nine. I was gay. And you were my best friend. Why wouldn’t I be afraid?” 

I nod in agreement. It’s something that, of course, I can understand. Just the thought of it causes anxiety to crawl up skin, pulling tight at my throat. It stops me from saying the things I want to say, things I know I need to say. The things I can’t imagine ever actually telling him.

Like: I’m in love with you.

Like: I’m trans.

Like: Yes. That means I’m guy. Which, if you remember the I love you part, would make me gay too. Or bi. Not totally sure about that yet.

Like: Main point being, I want to be with you and date you and I know you probably don’t or won’t ever see me as anything but your girl best friend but maybe you could. 

Yeah. Probably a good thing I’m not saying any of that.

--

“...Honestly, the challah was so good and reminded me of mom’s that I had a breakdown. Standard stuff, ya know. Who doesn’t have breakdowns over delicious Jewish foods?”

“Are you even Jewish if you don’t have breakdowns over delicious Jewish food?” Asher counters.

[choke-me-joey]

Hi! In regards to Hoevember can you do number 50 with Joe? Thank you love.

Thank YOU for requesting bby ❤️

Also massive thanks to @harrys-four-nipples for helping me out with this one, ily 🥰

50. Are you sure? If we do this, I won't be able to control myself.

Joseph Quinn x reader

Content warning: 18+ content minors DNI, rpf (don't like don't read), friends to lovers, angst, reader gets a teeny bit jealous and insecure, lil bit of fluff, Joe is soft until he's really not, no prep (but its cool, reader is SUPER wet), unprotected p in v, creampie because what else would I write

Hoe-vember/Dick-cember masterlist

It was no secret that you and your best friend Joe fancied each other. Every bloody one of your friends knew it, he knew it and you knew it. So why the hell weren’t you together?!

Well, that was totally your bad. When Joe had started landing bigger jobs, you had decided to try and save yourself the eventual heartbreak he was bound to cause you and you tried to move on to other guys with nice normal jobs who weren’t going to shatter your soul by falling in love with a stunning a size 4 actress who was working opposite him.

And it worked. For a bit.

Until the nice normal guys were not nice guys at all, but just the typical London arseholes who were only in it for a quick fuck and chuck, completely not what you wanted. And eventually when yet another boring banker or data analyst was crawling on top of you, Joe’s face invaded your thoughts and it would be the only reason you’d eventually get off, by fantasising about your long-term crush and best friend. In fact, you had even called out his name mid-fuck once. Luckily the guy you were shagging at that time was also called Joe so, no harm, no foul.

So to save yourself even further, you’d stopped dating. Completely. No one. Nothing. And at first, it was fine. But by the 3 month mark of self-inflicted celibacy, you were starting to go a little crazy. 

Which leads you to now, sitting alone in your flat on a Friday night, watching some David Attenborough narrated documentary on the TV with a G&T. Wild. All of your friends were either with their partners, tied down with work or just wanting time at home themselves tonight. The only person you hadn’t contacted was Joe. But he was probably out with Wesley, or at some fancy event or something. You missed him.

Shooting back the rest of your G&T, you pick up your phone and start mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, a 3-app rotation that kept you occupied for all of 10 minutes. Then a WhatsApp message pings through.

‘Hey, wyd? X’

It’s Joe. Your heart flutters at the sight of his name. 

‘Hey, famous actor man. Nm, wanna come over? X’

‘Already outside. Got Chinese x’

You stand up and open up your balcony windows, stepping outside and glancing down to the main door of your building. Sure enough, Joe is stood there, looking back up at you with a plastic bag full of food in his hands. He grins, raising the bag up at you.

He looks so fucking good it should be illegal.

“Hold on,” you return his grin, rushing back inside and buzzing the door open for him. You quickly check over your appearance and make sure you don’t stink like a bin, before opening your front door.

**

About an hour later, bellies full of too much Chinese food and a few beers, you and Joe are sprawled out on your bed. Well, to be more precise he is sprawled out like he bloody owns the place, you’re sat with your back against the headboard picking at the label on your beer bottle.

"Sign of sexual frustration, that." Joe pipes up, smirking at you. You can't fucking look at him right now; you know how he looks when he smirks. You'll want to pounce on him. Your pussy throbs.

"Well, if you hadn't had decent sex for months, you'd be frustrated too." You grumble back, squeezing your thighs together subtly.

"Months? Thought you were seeing that one bloke from your office?"

"Yeah, months ago, Joe. Plus he was so fucking boring. And shit in bed. Had to get myself off when he left." To some videos of you, btw.

"Ah." Joe nods and takes a sip of his beer. "Shame."

"Please don't gloat, Joe, I get it, you're a super hot actor now and the women are throwing themselves at you." You roll your eyes as you speak. Joe barks out a laugh.

"I meant, it's a shame you had to get yourself off after he left, he missed out. Bet that was hot as fuck." He says casually, his dark eyes watching you from his side of the bed. You shove him with your foot. "And you know I haven't been shagging anyone, Y/N."

"Do I? Not even your little red headed friend you were papped with?" You raise an eyebrow at him. Now it's his turn to roll his eyes.

"Jealous?"

"Curious." You lie. Of course you were jealous. She was fucking gorgeous and you knew Joe; the minute those videos surfaced you knew he was flirting with her. But also you knew nothing had happened. Wesley had reassured you. Wesley knew everything. You just needed to hear Joe say it.

"Nothing happened with her. I haven't fucked anyone in months, Y/N. I'm just not interested." Joe sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You know there's only one person I want."

"Joe..." You sigh, your head flopping back against the headboard. "Don't, please. I've told you, I wouldn't be able to handle it if you met someone else, especially some of the women you work with-"

"Fuck, Y/N, what kind of person do you think I am?" Joe sits up, inching closer to you. "I would never, ever-"

"You might though. If we had to spend months apart-"

"Which we have-"

"-you get unbearably horny-"

"-that's what I have a hand for-"

"For fucks sake, Joe, I bloody love you and want you to fuck the shit out of me right now and tell me that you love me too!" You snap, the admission even taking you by surprise. Joe blinks at you. There's a brief, tense pause before he lunges at you, grabbing your head and smashing his mouth to yours. You freeze, brain desperately tying to catch up. Joe feels your hesitation and tries to pull away, but you grab his head and bring him back to you, this time kissing him back properly.

It's closed mouths at first, but you decide to be bold and flick your tongue against his lip. He groans and accepts, opening his mouth and allowing you to taste him for the first time. You thread your fingers into Joe's curls as you kiss, deep and slow, the kind of kisses that make you weak in the knees and dizzy in your brain. Your body shifts against his, making you both moan softly. Joe moves so that you're lying down, him on top of you, and then he suddenly pulls away again, making you whine at the loss of his mouth against yours.

"Are you sure? If we do this, I won't be able to control myself." He says, his voice taking a deeper tone. You nod, and he smiles. "I bloody love you too."

"I know. Can you fuck me now please?"

"Or what, you'll do it yourself?" Joe teases and you laugh. "You'll have to show me that sometime."

"Save that for when you're travelling, Quinn." You reply, grabbing the front of his shirt. He looks down at your hands, an eyebrow raised, before looking back at you. He smirks, grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head with one hand.

"Can you keep your hands there for me like a good girl?"

You nod, swallowing, the throb in your underwear almost becoming unbearable. It had been forever, or what felt like forever, since you had been turned on like this. And it's Joe. Fucking Joe who you've been lusting after for fuck knows how long.

He sits you up, still making sure you keep your hands above your head. He tugs at the bottom of your tshirt, looking at you for permission. Again, you nod and he peels off your tshirt, swearing sharply as your tits are exposed, nipples pebbled in arousal. You were pretty glad you'd decided to forgo a bra tonight. Comfort over fashion or whatever it was.

"Fucking hell, Y/N, your boobs are incredible." Joe groans, pushing you down onto your back again and admiring you for a moment. He then strips off his own shirt, taking his place back on top of you, and you whimper at the feel of his bare chest against yours. Joe teases you,skating his fingers along your bare side. His eyes darken, watching your expression as he gently pinches your nipple.

"Fuck, Joe, please!" You whine, bucking your hips into his. The crotch of your leggings brushes over his evident arousal in his jeans and you shiver at the slightest hint of friction there. Joe chuckles.

"Worked up like this already? You really are desperate for a good fucking, aren't you? You're not the only one, baby. I can't wait anymore, need to be inside you."

You're amazed at how he undressed both you and himself whilst still pinning your wrists above your head with one hand. Clearly he has done this before. You swallow down that pang of jealousy; he's with you now, nobody else.

"Hey, you okay?" Joe sees your expression falter as you get lost in your thoughts. His own expression softens as he looks at you with concern. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to-"

"I want to. Fuck me, Joe, and don't be gentle about it. I don't want to be able to walk after." You say with determination, fingers ghosting over his that held you. Joe groans, his eyes fluttering shut.

"You keep saying stuff like that and I won't last long, been thinking about this for way too long." He lets go of your wrists and brings that hand to the side of your head supporting himself as his other hand guides his cock to your pussy. He taps your clit a few times with his cockhead, chuckling at the way your body arches and you squirm with desperation. After he's swiped his cock through your arousal, he pushes in all the way to the hilt, knocking the wind out of you.

He's massive. Well, bigger than what you're used to, thick and long and he bumps your womb when he slides in all the way. The burn is delicious; you can't remember the last time you felt this full, if ever.

"Fuck, Joe," you pant, your walls fluttering around him as you stretch to accommodate him.

"Christ, you're fucking tight. You okay?" Joe grits out, his jaw clenched at how fucking good you feel around him. You nod, and he leans down to kiss you, starting to move slowly.

"No, no, no, no-" you whimper against his mouth. "More, Joe, harder, please, I can take it. Fuck. Me."

Joe finally seems to get the message, and flips you over onto the mattress, face down and ass up. Once again, he grabs your wrists in his hand but this time holds them behind your back. He slams his cock into you, using his grip on your wrists as leverage.

"I was trying to be fucking romantic, love, but you're too desperate for my cock, hm?" Joe grunts, his fast and deep thrusts making you moan into the duvet.

"Fuck yes, Joe, please, I want it!" You moan, every nudge of his cock against your cervix sending a blooming mix of pain and pleasure throughout your core.

Nobody had fucked you this good before. All the guys you'd tried hooking up with to take your mind off of the man who was currently rearranging your guts had crawled on top of you for 10, maybe 15 minutes at a push, encouraged you to touch your clit and left it at that. As long as they shot their load, it was a win for them.

But Joe, Joe was different. So very fucking different. From how he was talking to you, to how he was touching you. He hands leave your wrists and travel to your hair, pulling it into a ponytail and pulling your head back with it.

You let out a sharp moan.

"That's right, baby, let me fucking hear those pretty moans. Does my cock feel good? Cos your pussy feels like fucking heaven, babe, can't believe we waited so long to do this, fuck, i love you so fucking much."

"I love you," you gasp, and Joe pulls you up so your back is against his chest, fucking up into you as one of his hands cups your boob, and the other snakes down to your clit. You turn your head and kiss him, moaning into his mouth as he rolls the pad of his finger over your clit, again and again and again until you break the kiss to cry out his name as you come, long and hard, your pussy holding his cock in a fucking vice grip as a fresh wave of arousal washes over you both.

"Can I come in you?" Joe pants against your mouth, you nod reaching a hand behind his head and keeping it there, tangled in his damp curls as he thrusts a couple more times into you before releasing, cum splashing up against your womb and walls. Joe moans your name out as he comes, his legs shaking with the force of his orgasm. You kiss his face as he rides it out, and eventually his head drops to your shoulder, peppering the skin there with sloppy kisses.

His cock stays in you until it softens, neither one of you wanting to break the connection yet. He hisses with the sensitivity as he slips out of you, and you quickly excuse yourself to go to the bathroom to clean up, albeit on extremely wobbly legs. When you come back, Joe is passed out in your bed, still bollock naked but under the covers, snoring softly. You join him, laying on your side and stroking a hand over his cheek gently. He cracks an eye open and smiles at you, opening his arm for you to snuggle up into him. He places a kiss on your forehead.

"My hand is going to have a hard time comparing to that, just so you know."

[kassiekole22]

Where Is My Mind?

Description: Elliot has a dilemma: he has been distracted by you and he doesn't know what that do about it. Surely talking it out with himself inside his head will help, right? Warnings: Swearing, Mr. Robot Goes On A Bit Of A Rant But That's It. 😅 Word Count: 587 MasterList: 🖤 TagList: @lorebite, @mornandil. (If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know in the comments! 🖤)

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Hello, friend.

Today I've been struggling to do everything. All I can think about is you—well—not you. You're just my imagination. I mean the girl who inspired your existence; You're merely just a version of her that exists inside my head. That's it.

I need to remember that.

But it's hard.

I just can't seem get you out of my head today. I could barely get any work done. Well—to be honest—it's becoming like that every day and Gideon is beginning to notice. Even Krista is noticing a difference in my behavior. And it's pissing Mr. Robot off because thoughts of you are getting in the way of things—

IT FUCKING IS PISSING ME OFF! YOU THINK WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT DUMB BULLSHIT?! WE COULD BE SAVING THE WORLD—TAKING DOWN THAT TOP 1% THAT'S TURNING IT TO FUCKING ROT! BUT NOOOOOOOOO! FUCKING HEART EYES HERE IS TOO FUCKING DISTRACTED TO DO SHIT! YEAH, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL—I'LL ADMIT THAT BUT WE HAVE MORE IMPORTANT SHIT TO BE DEALING WITH THAN SOME DUMB CRUSH!

Fuck. Speak of the devil. I'm sorry if his words upset you. Don't listen to him.

I wish what he said wasn't true but—It is. This is important. But there's another little voice in the back of my mind that is telling me that you're more important. This is weird for me; I've never been like this over a girl.

Fuck.

Where is my mind?

I seen you again today—at the coffee shop not far from my apartment—ordering at the counter. You weren't there long. You gave me a quick nod and a smile as a greeting when I bumped into you before leaving with a single black coffee and a chocolate donut—as you usually order.

I know you struggle with social anxiety. I seen texts between you and your best friend when I hacked you. I understand how that shit feels so I won't approach. I'll wait for you to approach me instead.

Talking to you inside my head makes it hurt less—the feeling of being without you. Ever since the day I copied you from the real world and pasted you inside my mind, I feel less alone. But—as I said before—it's distracting me.

I remember the time we first met. I was out walking Flipper around my neighborhood. She had been shitting around the apartment a lot so I figured that it was a sign that she needed to be outside more. And I'm glad I did because that's when I ran into you. You were taking a walk as well and Flipper almost tripped you. You weren't mad though. You gave her a quick pet and I muttered a quick apology. You shook your head and said it was ok before continuing on your walk.

I noticed right away that you looked stressed as all fuck. I later found out it was due to your boyfriend being a dick to you because I hacked you for the first time an hour after I got home. A week later I decided to send you the proof I found of him cheating on you—through an anonymous account on Facebook.

I'm glad you left him after that… He didn't deserve you…

Maybe I'll take Flipper out for a walk again? You usually always go out for walks on Tuesdays around five. Actually—That means you'll be out for a walk right now…

I should go get Flipper's leash…

Goodbye, friend…

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[bengiyo]

Theory of Love Rewatch Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

I have been specifically asked about continuing, so thank @twig-tea, @lurkingshan, and @waitmyturtles for bugging me to continue.

Last time, Two found out that Third has a crush on Khai and decided to be a bro about it and help. His brilliant plan is to have Third lie about having no money so he can move in with Khai. Cohabitation was a mixed bag. Third still can't declare himself to Khai, and Khai was a total dick about kicking Third out of the apartment for the whole night at one point. Khai came through for Third sorta with the next girl by not kicking him out and then later telling Prigkhing's character to fuck off. He also had Third's mug prepared. Mike's character's romance also began with some cute flirting over movies. I also want to note that these boys are filthy, and a single Ikea date won't make me forget.

A lot of energy went into this couch scene deciding what to do with their booth. I suspect it was meant to reground us in the masculine friendship.

Ep.04 Crazy, Stupid, Love

I forgot how unsubtle the sausage thing was. Men definitely came up with that sales pitch.

I just want you to know that Off is singing.

Third just has no interest in being flirty or kind to girls.

The play flirting that Khai does with Third is so agonizing sometimes.

The Shape of Water (2017) is a great film. Good choice, Paan.

I like putting Gun in a suit on a box so he can be tall.

Fellas, is it gay to feed your best friend on the break, eat and drink after him, and then demand he follow the rule and kiss you on the cheek? Asking for Khai. He is flirting and I don't think he realizes it.

Oh, right. The dark skin comment about Un. 😐

Guys like Khai are why I used to say, "Don't flirt with me unless you mean it."

Third is as bad as one of my movie buddies. He cries at every film.

Third, please get a fucking grip. He matched your answer because you are a sap with easy to read film taste and he wanted a prize.

Strangely, I'm feeling more sympathetic to Bone than I remember being last time.

Not only did Un and Two leave MacBooks just sitting around, they also left it unlocked. Irresponsible.

The hair continuity for Gun is off in this show.

Fellas, is it gay to cuddle up with your friend in a private screening because you're cold?

There's no way Khai doesn't know how romantic this would read to Third. He's kind of a dumbass, but come on, bro.

Okay, so I had memory holed that Khai was testing Third with Bone. I am deeply upset.

Y'all, I am so, so pissed right now. I had completely forgotten that Khai was just playing with Third's feelings to see if Bone was right. This is the exact kind of cruel shit I suffered. We just saw this happen to Zo in Hidden Agenda. I am so not okay.

See, and this is where we get into the primary problem with players. It's fine to have casual sex with people who know what the game is, but it's the playing with people's feelings just to prove you can that bothers me. I had clearly repressed this plot information because this is the exact kind of shit that happened to me and I'm still salty about it 14 years later. It was cruel then and it still hurts now.

I couldn't exactly remember why I didn't like Khai. I wondered if I had also gotten caught up in sex shaming him like Turtles believes Khai haters do. No, it was this shit. Third is his fucking best friend and he couldn't just say it. It's so fucking mean.

[greyghoulclub]

Mean Steve has taken over my brain so have this.

Ship: Harringrove

Fandom: stranger things.

Tw: homophobic slurs, period-typical homophobia. Period typical talk about women. internalised homophobia.

R-18, billy antis dni.

——————————————————————————

It was rumoured that “King Steve” was an absolute beast in the sack, but he was also an asshole who never came back for a second date. Whoring his way through the female population of Hawkins High.

Seemed like every girl had something to say about the king, be it negative or the hopeful ones that think they could change him.

Billy knew that type of guy and met his fair share back in California. They were the type of guy to call him a faggot after they had “experimented” with him. Wam, bam, thanks fag. Billy didn’t expect to meet one in bumfuck Indiana, he figured they were still god-fearing farm folk. Well, some were god-fearing. Not farm folk though.

The only time Billy ever interacted with Steve Harrington was in gym where they were both on the basketball team. Harrington had been the point guard his whole high school career and hadn’t taken kindly to Billy snatching the position from under his nose.

“But coach! I’ve been the guard for at least four years now,” he had complained with the air of a spoiled brat who always got his way.

Coach Roberts had ignored Harrington’s protests and gave a dismissal hand wave. Steve looked ready to murder the basketball coach on the spot.

“It’s not all that bad Harrington, at least you’re still on the team,” Billy smirked as he passed the other boy on the way to the locker room. Billy never claimed to not be an asshole, but Harrington needed to be knocked down a couple, maybe a few pegs. He knew he’d probably pay for that remark later but it was too good to resist. “You could always be a water boy if you can’t keep up.”

The rest of the guys were goofing off in the locker room as usual, talking about the last party that Tina had held. Some of them were bragging about the mystery girl that gave them some head, other were taking about how they had managed to bed a girl.

“Duuude, Sophie Davis is a freak man, wanted me to pull her hair when I fucked her from behind.” The other meatheads guffawed.

Billy ignored them, not only because he just wasn’t interested in whatever flavour of the week Danny Jonson had managed to trick into sleeping with him, but also because he was very aware that Steve was there too. Steve had been eyeing him up like a predator eyes some poor rabbit for its dinner. It had to be for the comment Billy made earlier. Not for anything else, as much as Billy wanted it to be.

Because Billy Hargrove had the biggest crush on Steve Harrington and he hated himself for it. He couldn’t help but be attracted to him, even though he was the biggest asshole Billy had ever met. It was kind of pathetic in a way, that Billy would try and piss Harrington off so he had reason to talk to him. It was pathetic in the way that Billy looked forward to his little cat-fights with Harrington.

He carefully minded his own business, getting showered and changed, not talking to any of the other guys. He was just going to get his stuff and leave. He left the locker room with a sigh of relief, the cool January air hitting his face. Fumbled with his lighter and took a drag of a cigarette. Max was going to stay at a friend’s after school so he had time to kill. He had a baggie of weed from the dealer Munson, he was going to go to the quarry and smoke on his own.

"Hey, Hargrove, what the hell was that on the court?"

Billy turned to see a furious Harrington standing behind him. His eyes were almost black with anger. Most of Billy's brain was saying get ready to fight, but a more minor part, probably what controlled his dick said "he's hot when he's angry". Harrington got up real close in his personal space, they'd be able to touch their noses together if Billy didn't have a hand between them.

"The fuck do you want Harrington?" Billy tried his best to sound annoyed, but his dumb horny brain kept telling him that he should drop to his knees and suck Harrington dry right the fuck now.

"You think you're hot shit now you're the point guard?" Harrington was staring him directly in the eyes, brown meeting blue, Harrington was close enough that Billy could feel his hot breath on his skin.

"Not my fault that coach thinks I'd be better. You hicks should be thankful that I joined the team, now you can actually win a tournament for once," Billy squared his shoulders ready for a punch from Harrington but it never came. Harrington came for a fight, right?

"Meet me at the quarry." Harrington spat at him, "9pm." and with that, he stormed off back to where the other guys were congregating. Billy figured that Harrington wanted to beat his ass in private, either that or he's got some performance anxiety.

Guess he was gonna meet Harrington at the quarry at 9pm.

****

It was cold as shit at the quarry, the temperature dipping to at least 20 degrees Fahrenheit. Billy could see his breath in the air, Harrington better get here soon because he was freezing his balls off. He lit up his third cigarette of the evening, if Harrington wasn't here by the time he finished it, Billy was going to leave.

His eyes darted about the complete blackness of the road, waiting, hoping for any sign of that red beemer that Harrington drove. As much as he knew Harrington was pissed at him, he hoped that the other boy would also have hope for something else. Something more like... a relationship? No. Harrington had too much to lose if people knew he was a fag, it was social suicide around Hawkins. And word would probably get back to Neil and that would not end well for Billy.

A car came to a stop beside the Camaro. Billy didn't need to look to know who it was.

"What took you so long pretty boy?" Billy blew out smoke through his nose and crushed the cigarette butt underneath his boot. Filled with bravado and some dutch courage he faced Harrington.

"Figured you wouldn't actually show up, guess I was wrong." the other boy had a grin on his face that didn't look like Harrington's. It didn't feel genuine, it felt like a shark cornering its prey.

Billy took another cigarette from his pocket and put it in the corner of his mouth, "what do you want Harrington?" he huffed, getting impatient.

"You think you're hot shit or something?" Harrington got up in Billy's personal space, trying to intimidate him. Billy could smell the tobacco on Harrington's breath.

"I don't think I am Harrington, I know I am," Billy blew smoke into Harrington's face. If it did anything, Harrington didn't let it show. "you acting all pissy about coach making me the point guard? Pathetic amigo."

Hands grabbed the front of his shirt, and pushed him back against the hood of his car. Oh, Harrington was pissed.

"I'm not fucking pathetic," he spat. They were close enough that Billy could see Harrington's eyelashes. One part of Billy was ready to fight, ready to knock this privileged asshole down a few pegs. Another part was kinda happy at this. Billy wouldn't admit it out loud but he had seen Harrington's dick in the showers plenty of times and little Harrington wasn't so little. Great, all Billy needed at this point was a boner.

"Coulda fooled me with your little temper tantrum," Billy smirked. The mantra of "don't get a boner, don't get a boner" repeating in his head until,

"Are you fucking hard right now?"

Billy's stomach dropped. He either just wanted Harrington to punch him in the face and call him a fag, or to combust on the spot. Harrington was quiet, his hands slightly loosened.

"Harrington, let go of me," Billy mumbled, all the fire from moments before extinguished. But the other boy didn't.

"I know you look at me in the showers, are you that desperate for some action huh? You want my dick so bad?" Harrington slotted his leg in between Billy's and it took all of Billy's willpower to not just start grinding against Harrington's leg.

"Why so tense Billy? I thought you liked this shit?" Billy could hear the grin on Harrington's voice, he was very pointedly trying not to look at Harrington before he did something he'd regret. Harrington pressed his leg in further and Billy couldn't help but whimper.

Harrington gripped his hair and pulled to expose his neck, Billy was very aware that Harrington was leaning in, he swallowed the anxiety that bubbled in his throat. Harrington started to kiss and lick up the side of Billy's neck, sucking at the crook where his neck met his shoulder.

Billy whined at the feeling, if Harrington kept this up he was going to be bending over the camaro for him.

"You whine like a fucking bitch, think if I actually kissed you, you'd cum in your pants?" Harrington chuckled against Billy's shoulder, slipping a hand down between them to palm at his own bulge. With how tense Billy was right now, he no doubt that if he even got a tiny bit of friction on his dick he'd cum. But he knew how this worked, the other guy got his rocks off and then leave. Billy just had to pretend it didn't hurt.

Billy walked Harrington a little bit away from the car so he had room to get to his knees, he mouthed at the clothed bulge in front of him, revelling in how it made Harrington moan. He unzipped the other boy's jeans and took out his dick. Harrington's dick was even more impressive close up, a thick nest of pubes at the top that had a musky scent that filled Billy's nostrils.

"Come on man, I'm getting blue balls here," Harrington pushed Billy's head towards his crotch, his breath stuttering with anticipation.

Harrington shouted when Billy started to suck on the tip, tongue working circles around it, hand on Harrington's hip to stop him from thrusting into his throat. Harrington was making breathy little moans, a stark contrast from his earlier shout. Billy took this as a cue to start taking Harrington further into his mouth. He felt hands in his hair again to encourage him to go further.

"So good..." Harrington whispered, tilting his head back, his adam's apple bobbing with each breath he took. He pulled Billy back down when he pulled back and make small movements with his hips to get himself further down Billy's throat.

"Nancy never did this for me, too much of a priss..." Harrington grunted as he thrusted, "you're so good Billy, you just let me fuck your throat."

Billy had tears in the corners of his eyes as Harrington fucked his throat, all he could do was grip onto Harrington's hips and hope to whatever deities were out there that he didn't gag. His own dick was straining against his jeans, begging for some form of touch. Harrington pressing his thigh in between his legs seemed so long ago now.

"Don't touch yourself yet," Steve said in between grunts when he saw Billy trying to sneak away a hand to palm at himself. "Not until I've cum." Harrington's voice got more strained the closer he got. His movements got jerkier and his grip on Billy's hair got tighter.

"God, fuck, I'm gonma cum," Harrington thrusted one last time and held Billy there as he came down Billy's throat. Billy had no choice in swallowing it all. Harrington pulled out and tucked himself back in his jeans and helped Billy up.

"Gotta reward you for letting me fuck your throat right? Harrington slipped a hand into his jeans and Billy almost cried at finally getting some relief, keening and whimpering as Harrington jerked him off. Harrington went hard and fast, when Billy came he felt like he had no bones.

Harrington wiped his hand on Billy's jeans and turned to Billy and gripped his jaw, "now you don't tell anyone about this fag, got it?" and then he shoved Billy to the cold, hard ground.

The tears finally fell when Harrington drove away.

[youreobsessedwithtoomanyfandoms]

Don't Let Me Go (Part 2)

Words: 5921

Warnings: language, talk of alcohol/alcohol consumption, regret, Leon being a dick but for a kinda good reason, maybe ooc characters and probably bad writing

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This also was originally written for my OC Tiffany (Whose info on her/original story will eventually be available on this account @imnotobsessedwfictionalchracters )

Leon and Hunnigan are PROBABLY OOC (as I suck at not being able to keep them from being OOC)

Actually find it fucking insane how long this thing is all together

This is it in multi-part form: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

This is it in one part form

Reader and Leon are partners with their job (have been since 2004/2005) and is insinuated to be around the same height as Leon

Not Proof-read and I think it can be seen every once and a while (I know you can see where my brain couldn't function how to write the scene so I just guessed and hoped for the best)

Can be read as its own story or as a sequel to You’re About To Lose The Best Damn Thing You’ve Ever Had

Losely has themes from the songs Never Say Never by The Fray, No Surprises by Radiohead, Afterglow by Taylor Swift, and Look After You by The Fray

Anywho, enjoy

Love Z <3

Leon’s POV

Leon, who had only been there because he was going over a report with Hunnigan, head snapped over towards Hunnigan the moment that Y/N ended the call. Worry spread through his body as they were unable to contact her back. He felt his knee unconsciously bouncing up and down as the computer kept beeping. He knew that he technically had no reason to be worried. Now, thanks to his own doing, all she was to him was another Agent. Not his partner. Not his girlfriend. Not even his friend. (Of course he didn’t know that the last part was all on his own)

“Why is it doing that? Why can’t you get back to her?”

“She blocked me from calling. Which means one of two things; she needed no distractions or she had to go semi-dark. I’m trying the other 4 members of her team and if they don’t respond, it means that they had to go dark too.”

Leon bit the inside of his cheek. He knew that the team originally consisted of 7 plus Y/N/N. The original 3 BSAA and 3 STRATCOM had been reduced to 1 BSAA and 2 of their own. 

If he was going to be honest, Leon didn’t care about the team, he just cared about Y/N and if she was okay. He hadn’t meant to do what he did then just disappear. He meant to break up and let her be for a few days, a week tops, then talk to her. But then he got called in and had to leave immediately. He knew from Claire and Hunnigan both that she didn’t understand why it happened or what caused it. Which he knew was his own doing. He should have told her. He shouldn’t have just said that they weren’t gonna work out. Especially since on their previous mission together they had a run in with Ada. 

But that wasn’t why he did it. No. It was because Stacey had been that person who they thought walked in. And as they had exited the training room, had messaged Leon to remind him that fraternizing with your partner was against the rules. He knew he should have just told Y/N why he was doing it, why he pulled away and why he treated her like shit for so long. But he couldn’t. He was scared that if he had, she would have argued with him and said it was fine. That they would figure it out together. It’s how she was and he knew it was. 

Of course, he still felt horrible for what happened on New Years, he shouldn’t have done that. Shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up just to crush them the following days. He shouldn’t have treated her the way that Ada would treat him. Shouldn’t have done something that would make her feel like he was using her in the moment because he needed something just to hurt her later.

----

December 31st of 2008/January 1st of 2009

Leon had gotten to her apartment earlier that day to help Y/N put up the decorations. But the entire time all that he had said to her was when he asked her to hand him something or made a comment about getting a drink or going to the bathroom. And then once Chris had arrived, surprisingly being the first, he had gone to talk to him. He had seen her leave from the corner of his eye, knowing she was changing out of the pajamas she had been in all day. 

He had no idea what she was going to come out in, but as she came back from her bedroom, a glass of champagne having already been downed, he knew it would be hard to keep himself under control. He noticed that she was wearing that top she had not-so-secretly bought a few weeks ago. Or at least he assumed it was. He had never seen the one she was wearing and he knew she hadn’t worn that one top yet. It was paired with her stupid jeans that fit her perfectly and those stupid heels that he loved on her because for some reason it always turned him on when she was practically a head taller than him. He saw her necklace was the one he bought her for their first anniversary in 2007. The rings were the ones she always wore and he noted that she wore the bracelet that she had owned since highschool on her right wrist, opposite of the watch he got her back in 2006 after her previous one got destroyed on a mission. Thankfully it was her birthday too so he didn’t have to deal with her arguing too much so he could argue that it was a gift for her birthday and she couldn’t turn it away.

He remembered how she kept saying he didn’t have to and that it must’ve cost a fortune. He had just shrugged it off and said he knew she needed one and he thought she liked that one. And even now, over 2 years later, he still hasn't disclosed the price of it. Something he’d never do because he knew she’d give it back and feel horrible about it. Knowing the only reason she had accepted the necklace was because it was their anniversary and she had gotten him something he knew was expensive as hell.

But even then, he didn’t talk to her. He didn’t go near her. Even as the rest of the group got there. He occupied himself with drinking and talking with people. Even as he saw the look of desperation on her face as she talked to Jess and Claire. Even as he watched her walk back to her room with a face full of complete defeat written all over her face.

No. he stayed talking with Chris and her brother Joe while he knew she was likely standing in the bathroom that connected to her bedroom. While he knew that she was probably doing anything to distract herself from how he had been ignoring her. He knew she could hear him talking and laughing with them. He knew that it seemed like he was happier with everyone except for her. But he wasn’t. He hated this. Hated this hell he had created by not doing it already. This hell he had created for both of them where he knew she was feeling like a deflated balloon that he didn’t want anymore. When that was the complete opposite of what was true. God did he want her. God did he not want to have to hurt her this way. All he wanted to do was hold her and tell her it would be okay.

Let her convince him that Stacey wouldn’t out their relationship and they would figure it out.

He got pulled out from the conversation when he heard a faint sound of something crashing in the back. He wasn’t sure if others had heard and chose to ignore it, or if it was just him who did since he was the closest to the hall. He stood and excused himself saying that he was gonna go check on her since they hadn’t seen her in a bit. 

When he got to the back of the apartment, he looked in and saw that it had just been the cup that held their toothbrushes and pastes. He watched as she leaned down and grabbed the fallen contents. He realized that she didn’t even notice him there until she jumped as he laid a soft knock on the door.

He laughed softly, like he always did when she did this. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya.” As she placed the cup back where it went, he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. The jolt from her didn’t go unnoticed and his face went from one of playfulness to concern. “Hey, you okay?”

She nodded silently, and he saw that she was trying to keep her breathing steady. “Yeah. Sorry. I think I’m just getting tired. My body isn’t used to not having to be on edge 24/7.”

He knew she was lying. He could tell it in her voice. But he still cracked a small smile in an attempt to calm her down. “Can’t disagree with you there. But you seem genuinely freaked, like after a mission.” The smile switched to one of concern, “Are you sure that you’re okay?”

She nodded and turned to him, giving him a smile of her own. “Yeah. I am Lee. Promise.” Lee, the nickname she gave him after their first mission together when she got a concussion. He remembered that his name kept blanking on her (as did most people) so she just referred to him as Lee as it was all she could remember and it had stuck. He noticed as she looked down at her watch before looking back at him, “Hey, it’s 11:59, we should get back in there.”

He was about to go to move some hair from her face, but stopped before he even reached his hand. He knew it would leave her even more confused when he broke it off. He knew it would make it harder for him if he continued to act like a boyfriend. So he kept on telling himself that he was being a friend. Friends treat friends this way. He could still be this way with her even when he calls quits to save her reputation. “Are you sure? It seemed like you had left for a reason.”

He knew from the look on her face that he was the reason and it hurt. At first it was because he hated that he was treating her like this, leading her on. But then it was because he couldn’t feel that way. He had to pull away from her so it would hurt less when he broke it. But he felt his resolve falling and knew it was close to breaking.

“Yeah. I’m perfectly fine. I just needed to get away for a moment. You know how I am.” 

He knew it was a lie. He knew she lied about something he wouldn’t call her out about. He studied her face and saw that she was doing everything to show she wasn’t lying. He knew she knew he was doing this. But he said nothing. He didn’t put her on the spot. Call her out. He just let her do it. Especially as everyone in her living room began to count down.

However, neither of them moved as their friends began down from 10. This was the closest he had been to her since Christmas. It was taking everything in him not to kiss her. Everything in him to not grab her face and pull it to his. But that entire work he was putting in was thrown out of the window the moment she brought her hand up and brushed some hair out of his face. And as she leaned in to him when their friends reached one, his thoughts to push her away were thrown out the window. As she placed a kiss on his lips. He heard nothing as he felt her softer lips on his own chapped ones. 

As she pulled her lips away from his, any control that had been left there disappeared as his hands on her cheeks and he slammed his back onto hers. The moment she let out a tiny gasp, he slipped his tongue into her mouth. He felt her arms wrap around his neck as he began moving them to the sink. Only stopping when the back of her legs met her sink. 

He pulled away for a moment, just to bring his lips down to her neck. And between kisses he asked a question that plagued him since he saw her come out in it. “Is this...a new...top?” He heard her humming in response, eliciting a small chuckle from him. “Is that a yes baby?”

“Yeah.” Her voice was soft and breathy, just above a whisper and he held back a groan when she did.

“I like it. You should wear it more.” He carefully moved her arms up so he could pull it off. His lips lingered on her collarbone, close to the center by her sternum, as he breathed in her perfume. It was a warmer one, a mix of vanilla and spice. He recognized it as the one he bought her back when she dragged him into Victoria Secrets when they were having a sale. He remembered her arguing with her that she wanted to buy it so they agreed that he’d buy her that and she could buy him whatever cologne he wanted. Which just happened to be the one he was wearing tonight.

His lips continued down her body as he got other noises from her. He only stopped when he heard a gasp, immediately pulling his lips away from her. His eyes looked over to see Y/N's sister-in-law standing there with a hand over her mouth.

“Shit, I’m so fucking sorry. I should’ve known what you two were doing when you didn’t respond. Fuck, I’m sorry. Um, Joe and I are heading out. I don’t wanna overwork my sister too much by watching the kids after she had a long week. But we had fun. I’ll see you later.”

He stood as he watched Jessica leave the room and felt Y/N/N's head fall on his shoulder. He listened as she ranted about how embarrassed she was by what just happened. How she had been hidden for nearly 30 minutes and then someone came to find her, just to see her making out with her boyfriend. So fucking embarrassing. 

He laughed lightly and joked, “At least we were just making out and not actually having sex.”

She groaned and buried her head in his chest, “I did not just say that out loud, did I?”

He missed the top of her head, “It’s okay.” He pulled away before leaning down to grab her shirt from where he had thrown it on the floor and handed it to her. After she slipped it on, he kissed her lips again. “You know I love you, right?”

She smiled and looked into his blue eyes, “Yeah, ‘course I do.”

“Good.”

This was going to hurt when he finally did it.

--

Leon knew that she wasn’t asleep as she laid by him. But he stayed quiet. He knew tonight would haunt him. He was supposed to be pushing her away. Not drawing her back in and making her feel better while he was just going to hurt her in the end.

----

January 3rd of 2009

He knew she was hurt. He knew she was trying not to cry. Leon knew how mad and confused she was. He knew. He knew her too well. He knew that she understood none of it. Even after he explained. He knew that she saw him as the one for her because he knew she was the one for him. But he could stop. He had to end them so neither...no so she didn’t get her reputation ruined. He refused to let anyone think that the only reason she gets chosen for assignments is because they’re together. He refused to let anyone think of her as anything but the fucking amazing and talented agent she was.

He had promised her back years ago that he would never hurt her. That he would never be the one to break her heart. That he would be there by her side no matter what. But then here he was, breaking her heart and about to leave her.

In the end, all that he could say was, “I’m sorry.” And “You don’t deserve this.” He reached to grab her hand in an attempt to comfort her, but she jerked it away. Which he understood. He deserved it. She didn’t deserve this. She deserved better than him. “You deserve better than this. Than me. Than our fucked up situation.”

“But Leon, I like it. I love you. I don’t care about the secrets and the lies. I just want you. Leon, please.”

“I can’t.” He stressed, he still hadn’t said what Hunnigan had told him when he asked what would happen. That was why he was doing this. He had to protect her.

“Can’t what?” Her voice was stretched, he knew she was trying not to cry.

For a brief second, he thought that he shouldn’t do it, but as he saw her face, saw as she was breaking, he decided to do it. “Can’t ask you to possibly give up your job because someone found out! Watch as you have to get reassigned because Hunnigan already confirmed that it would be you. Watch as your life completely changes just so you can be with me!” He ran a hand through his hair, “That’s why we’re done, Y/N/N. Why we have to be. Both in this relationship and in our partnership for work. I already sent in the request for a new partner.” He hadn’t said that last part to her yet. But it was true. He did it yesterday. After she had left the office for the day.

“Leon.”

He ignored her as he walked to her door, he was planning on just leaving, saying nothing else. But as his hand reached for the knob, he stopped, “I’m really sorry Y/N/N. Truly, deeply, sorry.” 

He walked out after that. But he didn’t go far. He stayed there in the long hall. He brought a hand up to his mouth to stiffen the sobs that were threatening to fall. He felt his chest tighten as he heard her scream and a crash. He knew she was angry and upset. He knew she was blaming herself. And it took everything in him to not open the door and agree with her that they’d figure this out. That they’d find a loophole. That they’d be alright.

----

February 18th of 2009

He shook his head, trying to forget that last time he saw her. Instead, he became hyper focused on Hunnigan trying to contact anyone on her team. The difference between her and them was with them, it called, but no one answered. He felt himself picking at the calluses on his hands, a bad habit that she always noticed. A habit that whenever she saw, she would take his hands into hers and hold them. He ran a hand through his hair as the nerves built up again when it went off that she disconnected herself from being able to be contacted. 

He hadn’t even noticed Hunnigan talking to someone through her mic set until she said: “Do you want me to assume her and her team are dead, sir?” He snapped his head to her. What did she mean by that? Why would they assume that Y/N was dead? She just went dark. Since when has it been the procedure to assume death when gone dark. “Of course sir, I’ll keep watch and will let Agent Kennedy know.” Leon narrowed his eyes at Hunnigan as she turned to him. “They want me to keep an eye out for if she pings a location in the next 48 hours. If not, then you’re being deployed to finish the mission and if you come in contact with her, call for an evac for her. But shoot to kill if she’s been bitten.”

Leon looked away from Hunnigan. He wasn’t sure if he could do that. Shoot to kill Y/N. Personal feelings aside, they had been partners since she joined back in 2004. Since right after he got back from Spain. Hell, she would’ve been with him if she hadn't had to get her appendix taken out and miss training causing her start date to be pushed back to where it was around 48 hours before he got back from Spain with Ashley. He had known her for 4, going on 5 years now. How could he shoot her, even if it was for the greater good? He felt his chest tighten and--

“Leon? Do you understand?”

He looked back at Hunnigan and nodded silently before getting up to leave the room. He couldn’t be there anymore. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. He practically ran through the halls, not caring who looked at him. Only able to catch his breath when the cold February air hit his skin. He heaved, his hands on his knees and he leaned forward. He couldn’t do it. He knew he wouldn't be able to do it. He knew that he would get in trouble. But he would rather get in trouble for not doing his job than have to shoot her.

He just prayed that she pinged to prove she was alive. And that if he ever got sent in, he would find her. Alive or dead but not bitten. Not turned. He’d rather find her already dead than have to do it himself. He would never be able to live if he broke her heart and then killed her.

Hell, he wasn’t even sure if he would be able to live with himself if he broke her heart and then found her dead.

--------

February 28th of 2009

36 hours after she went dark they received the first ping. 11 days had passed since and they had gotten 8 more pings. Leon was at his desk, waiting for Hunnigan to tell him they got the next ping. But as the sun went further and further down, they still had got nothing. He kept telling himself that she was okay. That maybe she just forgot or wasn’t somewhere where she could.

He kept telling himself that it was okay and she was alive. That he had no reason to worry. That she would make it back to them alive.

--------

March 2nd of 2009

Leon looked out the window of the helicopter he was on. 4 days had passed since her last ping. Since they last heard of her being alive. They had sent him in the early hours of the morning to go finish the job and find her. They told him to not have hope she’d be found alive. The cold was horrid and she was supposed to be back by now. It was doubtful she’d have enough heat stored to survive.

But he ignored them. He ignored their warnings and pushed them away as he climbed down and off the heli and walked the remaining mile to the village her team were meant to be staying at.

It took him almost no time to find the abandoned snow-mobiles they had ridden to get there. Took him almost no time to walk into the small place they were staying to find the rest of her team all dead. But still, there was no sign of her. No sign that she had even been there recently. He told Hunnigan and she responded that she’d send someone once they found Y/N. As he exited the house, he grabbed the keys to be able to use one of the vehicles.

He drove through the town until he reached the point where she had gone dark at. It was by a larger building that stood out compared to the rest. But that wasn’t where she had left at. She had left off in a small home by it. He walked in and looked around, finding her tracker and communication devices in a box that had been covered in snow. A few of the windows had been shot through, he assumed it was from her. He walked up the stairs and saw that there was no way out from there. If she had been in there, she had left the same way she went in.

He walked out of the house and was about to get back on the snowmobile, to head to her last pinged location, but he realized that it was inside the large building and he would have to walk it. The sun was going down as the time passed 6 PM as he jumped the fence and ran around trying to find her, shooting those infected that got in his way. Which he was surprised wasn’t that many. He had expected more to be there, but it was like someone had already gone through and killed most of them. 

He ignored the fatigue that grew as he ran closer and the sky got darker. Or at least he assumed it did, there were practically no windows in this place so all he had was his watch to tell the time. He ignored the gnawing feeling he had that he was going to find her dead. That he came all the way to bring her home alive that he’d have to do it dead. That he kept telling himself that she’d be alright and he could apologize. He could tell her what Hunnigan told him when he got back. So he could apologize and let her scream and yell and choose what to do. 

So he could know if there ever would be a possibility that they could have made it. That they could have done more if he hadn’t let the possibility of what could've happened take control of his life.

As he grew closer and closer to where she had last pinged, he felt his heart drop further and further into his stomach as he saw more and more blood covering the floor. He kept telling himself that it wasn’t hers. It was someone else's. And he wasn’t entirely wrong as he grew closer. A body laid on the ground, he could tell the blood wasn’t even an entire week old so it had to be from around her last ping. He placed his boot at the dead and grimaced as he recognized him as the guy from last summer.

That told him why she went dark. 

He kneeled by the body, looking for what caused the bleeding, finding a few bullet holes. They weren’t accurate and he could tell that whoever shot them had a shaky hand. Making him doubt it was Y/N. One thing he knew he could always count on was her steady aim. Rarely would she hit a target in the wrong spot on accident. It was always on purpose. But, he knew the bullet holes. It was with a Lightning Hawk. It was like how he always had his Matilda, she always had a Lightning Hawk on her.

He stood up and continued on, looking down at the small device to see how much further and realized that it was to his left. He turned and saw a door drawn shut. He put the device away and grabbed his gun out from its holster and carefully opened the door. He swiftly turned to walk further in, something that at first seemed futile as he didn’t see her. But as he walked further in and looked around, he saw remnants of her having previously been there.

He kneeled by her clicker that had been pinging her location when she told it to was on the floor with some of the layers she had been wearing when the mission started. But what scared him was that there was a bandage covered in blood that looked like it had been sitting there for a few days. If it was her blood like he thought, that would explain why it looked like someone had shot the guy shakily and unsure. And so that nausea grew as the gnawing feeling that she was dead came back to him. 

He shook his head of those thoughts and got up, looking around the room more. As his eyes scanned, he saw that there was a trail of blood that led to one of the walls. When he got closer, he saw the faint marks of what he assumed had been someone moving the cement. He put the flashlight between his teeth and holstered his gun as he began to touch around, trying to find a weak point in the wall. When he did, he pushed in until it started moving. Once it was opened enough for him to slip through, he grabbed the flashlight from his mouth and upholstered the gun. 

He pointed the gun forward and slipped through the crack, he walked with cautious footing. He still found it rather suspicious that he hadn’t had to deal with much since he had gotten there. His senses were on high alert, feeling like there was a possibility of him getting attacked at any point. He walked down the dimly lit room, turning the flash on and off so for the case of someone watching him, there was a possibility of him throwing them off. 

But any want to not get caught and have the element of surprise immediately left his body when he heard gunshots down the end of the hall. He ran as fast as he could and slammed the door open, gun ready to shoot. But when he got there, he saw that Dr. Lewis was already bleeding out on the floor, but still reaching for her own gun. As he approached the woman, he looked around and saw Y/N laying on her stomach, gun on her non-dominant side, in a corner. And as much as he wanted to check on her first, he ran over to the doctor and kicked her gun as far away from her as possible. 

He kept his gun up and stood over Lewis, the barrel of the gun pointed at her head, daring her to do something. But all she did was laugh before coughing up blood. “You...you really think this...this will be...be the e-end? You...you killing me? Think it...it will bring that little b-bitch ba-ack.”

He knew he was supposed to bring her in alive. So they could question her. But Leon just couldn’t. He knew she had been experimenting on children more than she ever had with adults. The information Y/N had found and sent in before she went dark proved it. And something, some part of him, felt like no one who did that to kids could live. Maybe it was his belief that he still was doing this for Sherry. He knew she was an adult now and that she doesn’t need his protection anymore, but it didn’t stop him from making it his main reason. 

With his gun still smoking, and Lewis’s eyes going blank with death, he pulled it down. “Still stops you.” He looked up when he heard the sound of an alarm going off and his vision was encased in red. He should have known that killing the head would do this, but he didn’t give a shit. All he cared about was saving her. He ignored the blaring alarm and robotic voice saying that the building will self-destruct in 10 minutes.

He turned to run back to where Y/N was lying. As he got closer to her, he could see she was slipping in and out of consciousness. When he reached her, he placed a gentle finger where her pulse would be, he knew he should have kept his eyes trained on Lewis, in case she turned herself into something, but he didn’t. His eyes were trained on Y/N. She was covered in sweat and blood, hair clinging onto her. Her breathing was labored and she barely was able to keep her eyes open. He turned her to her back and immediately saw what the reason for the bleeding was. 

A large gash that went down her sternum. There was dried blood all around it and he saw that shittily done bandage that had moved. It was surely infected and was probably the reason for her sweat. He grabbed his device to call Hunnigan and requested a medical evac. He found Y/N and she was alive. They were in the building, but he was going to try and get her outside. Hunnigan informed him that she already sent one the moment he said the rest of the team was dead and they were 5 minutes out.

The moment the call ended, he gently moved one of Y/N 's arms around his neck before putting his arms under her body. Placing one securely under her knees and the other behind her back and under her other arm. He heard her groan in pain as he started to carry her out. Trying to figure out how to get to the roof.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Y/N/N.”

“Leon?” Her voice was hoarse, barely there.

“Yeah, yeah it’s me. I got you. Medic is 5 minutes out, okay? I’m gonna get you out. You’re gonna be okay.”

“Leon, please, just let me go.”

He shook his head, “No. I’m not doing that. I’m not letting you go. Not anytime soon.”

“But it hurts.”

He looked down at her and saw her eyes were closing again, “I know. I know it does. But I need you to keep your eyes open for me, alright? I know it’s gonna be hard, but I need you to do that.”

“But it feels better that way.”

He kicked a door open that led to stairs, “I know it does Y/N/N/N, I know. But I really need you to keep them open. Just until the evac gets here. Once they get us, you’ll be alright. You can close your eyes. Just keep them open till then.” Y/N/N/N. A nickname he came up with once when they were both drunk and abnormally clingy to one another. A nickname that he only used around her when he was close to breaking.

But she nodded, “Okay, I’ll try.”

He smiled down at her, “Good, try.”

He knew if she wasn’t injured and delirious, she would be yelling and screaming at him. So a part of him was happy she was, but most of him was scared that they medic wouldn’t get here in time and they would be fucked. That the team wouldn’t get there and he would lose her. But he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t lose her. Not yet. Not now. Not when he had so much apologizing to do. 

So when he made it out of the maze of a building, he let out a breath of relief when he saw the helicopter landing. Never in his life did he think he’d be so grateful that living Agents were top priority. That they’d rather lose the dead bodies and explain to the families that there was no body than possibly lose someone that could still be of use to them. Of course, he knew there was also the likelihood that they had sent two helicopters.

As he got to the Helicopter, he passed her body to one of the Agents in it before jumping in himself. And as they flew off, he helped close the door that he had jumped in from. For a moment, he stared at the window to see the sun coming up in the distance as the building exploded. But only after a second, he turned back to see the two medics already hooking Y/N up and getting her the help she needed.

He slumped down into one of the small chairs, leaning his head against the cool metal and silently watched as they flew to a hospital in Vancouver that was used to STRATCOM and the BSAA. 

[viscountessevie]

Something There Vignette #2 - The Carriage

A/N: Welcome back to all who have been following this story aka my besties who have been either helping me beta reading and editing this with me or those just along for the ride reading snippets and listening to me ramble - here’s a second part of Chapter 1! [Taglist in the notes!]

Those who are new: Hello there! This is a fanfic for Lord Cassidy from Mr. Malcolm’s List and since he didn’t get a love interest in the film and is PRIME HR hero material, I gave him one! Her name is Lady Persephone Parker-Greens and you can read all about her in the links below. This is a childhood best friends to lovers story with marriage of convenience and a touch of forbidden romance. 

Masterlist | Vignette #1 | Vignette #3 

Yall read The Waltz and came back? Okay so some context, after the waltz they are both ambushed by other suitors and debs respectively and it’s just a filler scene that was too boring to post but probably will sharpen it up by the time I post the fic. The following vignette takes place after their separation at the Ball and they are on their way home together since they’re neighbours. Happy Reading yall!! [Added a watermark to my edit this time! I mean this is a very niche edit but if anyone does want to share - please let me know beforehand but reblogs are the most appreciated! Thank you] 

As they left Amberton Manor, Sephy started to spring back to life. She could be the life of the party if she pleased and the occasion called for it. However, there was a guarded wall up with her performances in the Ton. If one knew where to look. Cassie knew. Now, as she pulled herself to his side, she allowed herself to relax in his presence. This is when the real fun began. 

"There she is." He chuckled, his arm around her waist squeezing her playfully closer to him. They were so close she could feel the vibrations of his laugh against her own body. "I could have sworn you were about to put yourself to bed in the middle of the ballroom floor after Dick Chumley tried to engage you a second time." 

Finally feeling free from prying eyes, she produced her fan hanging from her wrist and delivered a quick swat against his chest. "I would never. I will have you know, I am the perfect debutante" She gasped dramatically before hitting him again, lightly this time. "And that was for ignoring me while talking to Lady Feather."

"Lady Feather? You're slipping tonight, my dear Sephy." He teased and she couldn't help but smile at the endearment. It was just like any other night of theirs so why did it feel different? She shook her head to settle herself as they reached her carriage. 

"Oh, I know exactly what her name was. It was Lady Gwyneth. She had far too many feathers, I'm surprised your nose was not aggravated." They left the conversation there as Cassie excused himself for a moment, running over to his valet and carriage. Most likely to brief that he'll be travelling with her tonight and to follow them. 

She was opening the door to let herself in when he jogged back and swatted her hand away. Holding out his hand to guide her in, he opened the door for her. Sephy clasped his hand grateful and climbed in. Once she situated herself comfortably, she tugged him in. They both underestimated her strength of her pull as he tumbled inside and landed squarely on top of her. 

She fell back onto the seat and their bodies pressed against each other under his weight. This time it did not feel as alarming as it did in the ballroom. Sephy was starting to enjoy being pressed up against Cassie. Before he could put out his arms to stop himself from crushing her, their faces came close together and their lips crashed into each other. Fire was the only thought that ran through her mind. It was the only way to describe how she felt having his lips on hers. Every part of her was set aflame. 

The initial shock wore off a moment later and Cassie pulled back. He stared earnestly into her eyes, silently asking Sephy for permission to continue. They both knew their whole night had been building up to this. The waltz had been the turning point for them both, most of all for Sephy who was seeing Cassie in a new light. Oh, it was maddening how desperately she wanted to have him kiss her again. 

Persephone didn’t need a moment to think before nodding enthusiastically. Tilting her head up, she pressed her lips against his. She let herself melt into the kiss. Her hands instinctively found his hair, her fingers tangling themselves through his thick locks while Cassie’s own hands came to cradle her head gently. Her fingers trailed down to stroke the nape of his neck, earning her a moan from him. She smiled satisfied against his lips as she brought her hands down to his lapels to tug him closer to her. They shifted their position so their legs could slot perfectly together. With one hand running through her hair, Cassie slid the other down the curve of her neck - letting her shiver in the wake of his touch before cupping her breast through her dress. His thumb rubbing against the hard pebble of her nipple, causing her to whimper into his mouth. 

For those few minutes, they forgot themselves. They were completely wrapped up in each other, oblivious to the world outside. Then the door closed behind them, the noise startled the two. Persephone swore she jumped out of her skin while Cassie jumped away from her, landing on the seat across from her. 

She used to always adore how well she could read him and how expressive he could be. Tonight, it felt like a curse. It was crystal clear how he felt about the kiss. Watching him carefully, she could pick out his furrowed eyebrows, eyes trained to the ground - he wouldn’t even look at her - and it had brought out his worst habit: chewing his lip to the point of drawing blood. She did take pride in how flushed he was from the kiss with his once perfectly styled hair all mussed up and swollen lips she was sure she could spend a lifetime kissing. Before she could part her lips to speak, he spoke first. He was stammering and fidgeting with nerves. Whatever was he nervous about? 

“Sephy - Persephone, I apologise. That was highly inappropriate and… I shouldn’t have done that. It-it shouldn’t have gone that far. Good God, I compromised you.” He covered his hands over his mouth. She knew he was one for theatrics but this was too dramatic, even for her taste. 

“Thank you for the delightfully astute observation, Caswell.” She said dryly, rolling her eyes at him. She was upset that ‘compromising her’ seemed to be his main priority. She hated that he seemed to regret what just happened and so she deflected. If he hated it, then she was going to pretend she didn’t care for it. “It was just a kiss, you do not have to get your breeches in a twist.”

“How are you so cavalier about this? I stole your virtue!” He dropped his head into his hands and let out a long groan. She could only glare at him with mild annoyance. With his dramatics, she couldn’t even enjoy how much she liked being ‘compromised’ in his words.  “You didn’t steal anything, for Christ’s sake!” She leaned over to take his hands in hers. He slowly lifted his head up and finally looked her in the eye. She rubbed soothing circles on his hand while she reached out to caress his face and ran her fingers through his hair gently. He slowly started to calm down.  “And I’m cavalier about this because it’s within our discretion, Cassie. It never happened if we don’t say anything.” She assured him. It hurt her to say it, but it was true. She loved him too much as a best friend to trap him into a marriage over a silly kiss that he certainly seemed to have hated. 

“I am not going to lie to your parents, Persephone.” She did not care for the way he hissed her name and dropped her hands from his. “I did compromise you and I will be asking your parents’ permission for your hand in marriage the moment we get off this carriage.” He insisted honourably. He was so earnest about it all, she couldn’t hate him for it. What she did hate however was the finality in which he said it. She narrowed her eyes at him, staring him down with a glare usually directed at others for misstepping but he knew it all too well. 

“Marriage?! Please tell me this is one of your jokes, Cassie. I assure you it is absolutely not funny.” Her tone was incredibly flat. The seriousness in his eyes told her exactly what she needed to know. She crossed her arms and stared hard at him.  “Does your future bride get any say in the matter?” Her sharp and sarcastic tone was giving him whiplash. His eyes flashed and she could tell he was wounded. She had pushed her tone a little too far - making a mockery of his proposition by calling herself his bride. Nevertheless, she steeled herself and kept staring until he answered her. 

“It’s the honourable thing to do, dearest and were you not just complaining days ago that you were already tired of the season and wanted a husband to fall into your lap? Well, here I am.” He grinned up at her. Now it was his turn to reach out and laced her fingers in his. 

Shaking her head, she started to re-evaluate how her life had come to this. She had said that. Irony truly was a cruel mistress. Her thumb dragged across his as she gazed down contemplating at the sight. Who wouldn’t want to be married to their best friend? It was not as if she had never considered the thought of marrying him before. She was not one to be fussy about her marriage built on love. She knew exactly the kind of world she was born into. Marriage was a transaction and the safety net of the next chapter in a woman’s life. If one were to be rather pessimistic, it has been said that marriage was a woman’s legal death. She knew it would not be that awful with Cassie. Yet she knew if she allowed this, she would be robbing him of actual love. She knew he wanted a love match. He always has, ever since they were children. He was the dreamer and she was the practical one. 

“No, Cassie, I will not be robbing you of your independence. And aren't you supposed to be upset that you've been ensnared by the claws of matrimony?”  “Must you always forget, Sephy? I’m not like them - you know me better than that.” “Why are you so eager? We’re not in love.” She shot back.

Before he could answer, the carriage came to a stop. He huffed, "All this bickering when I could have been getting better acquainted with my bride." His eyes twinkled at the comment as he leaned in close to her. His eyes dropped to her lips for the briefest of moments. She glared at him when she realised he was teasing her. He never knew how to be serious, could he? 

His wit was one of the things she enjoyed most about him. Tonight, it made her want to strangle him. Just as she was about to protest, the carriage door opened and her mask came on. She looked to him with pure adoration and was all smiles as Footman Jack helped her from the carriage. Forging forward first, a good distance was kept between them that no one but Cassie would be none the wiser to. Once they reached her front door, she spun on her heel to face him. 

"I trust you'll keep our discretion tonight to yourself. Good night, Lord Cassidy." She gave him a cold curtsey and left him wondering where it all went wrong.  "May I at least walk you to your room?" He hurried to catch up with her and gave her a pleading look. She never could say no to him. She nodded slowly, not trusting herself to say anything else. 

The exhaustion of the day was weighing on her. Sensing this, he shuffled closer to offer up his shoulder to lean on. Old habits die hard and Persephone laid her head against his shoulder as he guided their way to her room. Breathing came easier when her parents were nowhere to be seen lounging in the drawing room. She knew Cassie well enough to know that he would have somehow let it slip to her parents about their indiscretion. It was an uncomfortable silence on the walk to her room. She absolutely despised it. This is exactly why she never let the thought of marrying Cassie go beyond considerations. All superficial attractions did was ruin friendships. Theirs had long transcended a friendship, they had a deep lifelong bond that couldn’t be compared to anything else. She wouldn’t trade it for anything else, not even a marriage based on lust with him. It was simply not worth it. 

When they finally reached the threshold of her room, Cassie was the first one to  break the silence. “I truly am sorry for tonight, Sephy.”

She couldn’t fathom what was so horrible and regretful about the kiss that he had to be sorry. She may not want to marry him because he felt pressured to do so but she did not regret that kiss. Not even a little bit, not even at all. It made her want to scream desperately, “I’m not!” at him but she was far too tired to muster the energy. All she could do was nod mutely. 

“Promise me you will not tell my parents about tonight?” She pleaded softly - they would without a doubt have the two of them be married before the month’s end. The idea of Cassie resenting her later in their lives for trapping him in a loveless marriage broke her heart. There could be love in their marriage, just not the one he wanted. 

He dipped his head in affirmation, silent and deep in his thoughts. She wished he would tell her exactly what was wrong. While they prided themselves on knowing what was wrong with the other most days, they could not read each other’s mind. This certainly was uncharted territory for the both of them. Sephy was so sure he was going to turn and walk away without a friendly goodbye when he took a breath. She watched him intently, unsure of his next course of action.

“Sephy…” He started to fidget with his hands as he always does when he was nervous, which was most of the time. She took a step closer to him and clasped his hands in hers.  “Yes?” Looking up at him, her eyes were gentle and encouraging. You can tell me anything, was the unspoken reminder. He managed a small smile.  “Would you consider being courted by me? We would not have to marry, however it would give us a chance to explore a romantic attachment.” 

The hope that filled his blue blue eyes made her heart ache. She couldn’t do it, she couldn’t break his heart. She swallowed every one of her protests and slowly inclined her head. 

“May I have some time to think about it? It’s been quite the night, Cassie.” She laughed softly, attempting to lighten the dark mood that had been cast upon them. His lips tilted up to match her laugh but it didn’t quite reach his eyes like it always does. 

“Of course.” He stepped close to her and pressed his lips against her forehead. “Have a good night, dear Sephy.” 

Persephone had closed her eyes when he kissed her forehead, allowing the moment to wash over her. When she opened them, Cassie was gone. 

[anxious-witch]

we still can't send asks from sideblogs? okay then

I just came here to say yes hello hi, I used to not care for soulmate fics and only got into them a year or two ago through a soulmate fic in another band fandom that also ripped my heart right out for many tens of thousands of words, and now here I am, feeling like a crushed bug in a useless class, ready to take a nap on the table or floor at 9:30 because I'd had the Inertia tab open for weeks now but always put it off because it was so long already and I didn't have time for it, and said yesterday night when I already should have gone to sleep "I'll just read the first chapter to get into it and then go to sleep" and idk how much later I have suddenly finished the whole fic and went through the full spectrum of human emotions while Jan slowly learns that maybe maybe he can let Nace in and he can talk to his friends about his soulmate troubles and they'll listen and be there for him even if they might metaphorically whack him over the head and tell him he's being a dick, and he's also going to therapy to work towards a better happier life with his friends and Nace as his friend and his soulmate and his boyfriend 🥰🥰🥰🥰

anyway I love so many things in each chapter, I hope I'll have time during the christmas break to go scream in the comments about each chapter and have my heart crushed and rebuilt in each chapter again ❤✨💖🥰🥺🌈

Apparently so, but dw, I also saw your reblog so I do know who you are 🤗

Funnily enough, I used to have a very similar view on soulmate au few years back, until a really good friend of mine didn't write the most heartbreaking soulmate au ever, and it was the best fanfic I read. After that I became kinda obsessed too, so it's nice to know I am participating in the cycle now 😂

Felt you sm about putting off a fic and then once you pick it up just reading it in one breath. I am honored my fic was one of those for you, that's a huge compliment.

I love writing through characters who go through the transformation, even if they only needed to realize they just need to let people care about them instead of pushing them away. For Jan, in this fic that isn't easy, so I'm really glad that roller-coaster of emotions is something that one can feel while reading.

I appreciate every comment so if you do decide to make them about parts you liked the best, that will definitely make me happy but this comment already means so much. Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know you liked my fic ❤️

[sofias-diary]

Period hasn’t come yet. Only a matter of time now… that’s what’s awful about starting your period at FOURTEEN. Who starts their period that late??? I’m fifteen now though, don’t you worry about that. But my periods are like suuuuuper irregular so I have no idea when it’s going to appear!

I started watching Killing Eve. And I finished the third series of What We Do In The Shadows and can’t watch any more unless I get Disney+ (that’s never going to happen).

I think about Leia a lot. Like, more than friends normally think about their friends. But I don’t think I have a crush on her, right? Because when I had a crush on Christabelle that was SO different. I don’t feel about Leia that way. But it’s definitely a greater feeling than normal friendship. When I first properly met her I thought I had a crush on her but I know now that was just me wanting to be friends with her as I had no other friends at the time. The way Dilpreet mentions that sometimes is actually soul-crushing because every once in a while she’ll say “Hey, remember when you sat on your own all the time?/when you would go to class super early to avoid other people seeing you be totally alone?” as if it wasn’t one of the worst times of my life. Whatever.

I think the reason I like Leia so much is because she’s so perfect and I can’t understand it. She has this way of being so sincere when she tells me she missed me on the few days I was sick, and I could tell she genuinely genuinely meant it. I like that about her because it means I can tell her how much I love her (which is a LOT!). And when we have conversations it’s like when you’ve been sat in a car for hours and you finally step outside and you get that fresh clean air. And when she compliments me or reassures me about something it feels like it’s the middle of summer and the sun is rising and all the flowers have begun to bloom.

I don’t like her boyfriend much. I don’t dislike him. He’s incredibly kind to her and about once a week she’ll tell me something wonderfully sweet he said to her, usually about how he wishes she saw herself how he sees her. I could bet a million pounds I see her in a far better light! And he went to ARMY SCHOOL… and she showed me his six pack… ew… he literally failed his GCSES. Oh, did I mention he’s 17 and she’s my age? And he sent her a dick pic she didn’t ask for. As if anyone would ask for that! He’s an idiot and he’s disrespectful.

Tegan (the girl Leia used to be best friends with) clearly hated him. Why would she do that? She would talk about how much she hated him to her face. I would never do that. I couldn’t hurt her feelings like that! I think Tegan likes Leia a bit. Clearly not a lot though, because she’s always so nasty to her. Maybe she’s just a bit controlling - I know she gets jealous when Leia sits with me and my friends instead of Tegan and her friends. Not that it’s a competition or anything.

I’m never ever mean to Leia! God I sound like such a nice guy. I’m not, I swear. Well I mean I am nice. You know what I mean… When Leia was trying to convince me not to buy her anything for Christmas and I told her I would because she deserved it, I feel like nobody ever really tells her that because she had a real reaction to it. And when she told me about how she went on a bus for the first time I saw how her eyes lit up with wonder! Over a bus! She’s so cute. And once in English, when Emily and Natalija weren’t in (thank GOD) Leia said to me that it was the highlight of her day. How precious is that?!

I think it’s more that I just want to be her best friend. I think.

Should I start adding tags to these? Because I genuinely do not care if people can read them. I just write them when I can’t write in my proper diary.

More later, Sofia xx