#and despite the obvious resentment. despite having reason to hate you completely and want you dead

[salty-an-disco]

Ouugh.. having Spectre Feels

[beevean]

I don't watch Hazbin Hotel but I seem to understand that some who've watched it and NFCV hate Valentino with a passion yet simp for Lenore

Fancy that huh?

Ah, my dear friend, but it's obvious why :)

Can't exactly jerk off to a moth man, can you? (well, I suppose you can, but he's ehhhhh less conventionally attractive than a cute redhead woman)

But it's not only that:

When Valentino abuses Angel, it's a horrifying scene. There's no music. There's nothing that can distract you from the realism. The sexual undertones (Angel covering up with his vest, Valentino trailing his fingers up his chest) are subtle yet sickening. You feel Angel's fear and powerlessness (helps that the voice direction is perfect), and root for him because we know him and know he did nothing to deserve this and he only wants to protect Charlie despite his terror (look! A character motive!). Furthermore, we learn here that Valentino owns Angel's soul, in a contract that he signed apparently willingly, judging by the little heart: he blames himself, but the show never blames him for falling into Valentino's trap. Nor does it blame him when later on, in Poison, we see flashbacks of Angel dancing with Valentino with a smile even as he's getting slammed into the ground, and jumping into his arms: it's not a downplaying of the abuse going on, because the implication is that maybe in the past he loved him, but now he's trapped and hurting, because Valentino took advantage of the power imbalance. It makes it all the more satisfying when Angel tells him to fuck off.

I don't think I need to tell you that this is the complete opposite of the disgusting shit NFCV pulls with Lenore and Hector. The show blames him for being stupid. You cannot root for Hector because he has nothing to root for, he's a shell of a character with no strength and no motivations, and there's no reason for you to care about what happens to him. It glorifies Lenore for being so cunning and manipulative - sure she's evil, but she's "cool" about it. The sexual abuse is played for straight titillation, from her licking his face after she beat him into unconciousness to the "walkies" to the rape by deception. Later on, while Hector does help destroy Lenore's life, he does so without any malice or resentment in his heart: it wasn't revenge against her, because he loves her, after all. How couldn't he? She's actually nice deep down. Everything she did was for his own good :) he just needed to understand it (off-screen) :) and this is not portrayed as him being a broken man who cannot understand love due to a life that was nothing but abuse, no no no we are meant to find them cute and tragic. Hector's character development culminates not with him standing up to the people who broke him, but him peacefully letting his abuser die on her own terms, as if the issue was that he was selfish and needed to learn to let go.

It's as if HH justified Valentino by saying that well, Angel is a famous porn star thanks to him, and clearly he enjoys the sex and drugs, so what has he to complain about?

Oh but tell me more about how Poison is rape apologism because Angel signs a catchy pop song about his misery in Valentino's grasp. Tell me how his dance interplayed with his abuse is offensive representation of trauma. Where the fuck were all of you when Lenore literally brushed off her raping with "you were having fun" and Hector let her do that?

Go fuck yourselves. I'm not going to be polite about it. This double standard makes me actively angry.

[number-1-kuaidul-fanboy]

Mutsuba Town’s Rehabilitated Alien Baking Show

Description: Yuhi hosts a baking contest to clear up all the bad blood between the formerly antagonistic aliens now living in Mutsuba Town.

...Okay so I basically wrote a fic about six major Go Rush villains (Zwijo, The Luge, Phaser, Tremolo, Zaion, and Kuaidul) baking because of a drawing I saw. It's silly. Enjoy.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53050585

Fic Below (This thing got LONG. Like 5K words long)

“Hello!” Yuhi waved to the group of six aliens he’d called in: the six he felt had the most bad blood among them that needed to be resolved.

First off, was Zwijo Zir Velgear. He’d been long since forgiven and spent two years making up for his deeds. However, Yuhi still sensed some tension between him and a certain other someone that needed to be addressed.

Next were the Ryugu brothers: Phaser and Tremolo. They were mostly well-adjusted as well but despite being brothers, seemed rather distant and Yuhi couldn’t help but constantly notice the murderous glances Tremolo often cast at the fourth alien Yuhi had called in: Zaion. It was obvious what THAT had resulted from.

The Luge, the fifth alien Yuhi called in, likely shared that resentment, along with possible resentment towards Zwijo, though he didn’t seem to express it much. Still, Yuhi asked him to attend for good measure.

And finally, the alien with the single most bad blood with everyone: Kuaidul Velgear. Even now, when Kuaidul was doing nothing to provoke them for once, Tremolo, Phaser, Zwijo, Zaion, and The Luge were glaring at him as though he’d put them through complete hell. Which, he had, of course. Kuaidul seemed completely oblivious to this fact, his gaze wandering around the room.

“So…” Yuhi tried to wave to get their attention. “I bet you’re wondering why I asked you all to come here today!”

“Somewhat,” Phaser admitted, folding his arms as he turned to Yuhi. “Will this take long? Since you called both Tremolo and me here, we had to leave Asaka in charge of the MIK.”

“Yes, you’d better have a good reason for wasting big brother’s time!” Tremolo added, mimicking his brother’s folded arms look.

“I have a very good reason!” Yuhi exclaimed, his eyes narrowed in indignation.

“Do you really?” Yuamu muttered in his ear. “I don’t think this plan of yours is a very good idea if you want my honest opinion.”

Yuhi grunted, crossing his arms. “Well, I don’t. And I think this plan is great.”

“I agree!” Yudias agreed, nodding vigorously. “I think a fun activity like this will be just what the six of them need, Yuhi!”

Yuhi smiled and nodded. “Well, at least someone supports my idea. Okay then!” He cleared his throat. “Welcome one and all to Mutsuba Town’s first annual ‘Rehabilitated Alien Baking Show’!” he exclaimed, gesturing to the group of six.

They stared at him with gazes ranging from baffled from Phaser, Zwijo, and Zaion, to a little bit horrified from Kuaidul, The Luge, and Tremolo.

“A baking contest?” Zaion looked disgusted as he muttered. “That’s why he brought us all here?”

“That explains all the ovens,” Phaser mused, looking around the room.

“That sounds…” The Luge fidgeted with his hands.

“Stupid,” Zwijo grunted, folding his arms.

Tremolo raised an eyebrow at him. “Don’t you own a bakery?”

Zwijo opened his mouth to answer but Kuaidul cut in before he could, “He can’t actually bake and only sells curry bread because he hates it.”

Zwijo’s resulting glare was downright murderous, a reaction Kuaidul simply smiled smugly at.

“So… um…!” Yuhi cleared his throat, forcing a smile as he went on. “Better get ready, folks! It looks like it’s gonna be a spicy competition!”

“Yuhi, who are you talking to?” Yudias asked, tilting his head to the side.

“Yeah, we’re not on TV ya know,” Yuamu pointed out, nodding.

“Uh… well…” Yuhi cleared his throat, lifting his chin to try and look dignified. “It’s just… fun to announce like this, that’s all.” He cleared his throat again. “Now let’s meet our six contestants!”

“We all already know each other!” Tremolo exclaimed, his hands on the side of his mouth to make his voice louder. “There is no need for introductions!”

“Uh… well…” Yuhi felt sweat drip down his forehead. “Right, yeah, of course. I guess we did all meet in… uh…” Yuhi trailed off, his gaze betraying him by drifting toward Kuaidul.

“Yes, in hell.” Tremolo’s growl was dark as he glared at Kuaidul.

The Velgearian just shrugged. “If that’s what you want to call it.”

“I’m breaking you all up into teams of two!” Yuhi’s tone was hasty.

“Could’ve just said pairs,” Yuamu commented, looking unamused.

“Um…” Yuhi pointed at the group, his gaze and trembling finger shifting between the six of them.

He paused, biting his lip. Kuaidul had bad blood with just about everyone here so he could be paired with anyone but someone like Zwijo or Zaion only had bad blood with a couple of the others. Yuhi didn’t want to accidentally pair up anyone who didn’t have anything they needed to work out. That would defeat the whole purpose of this…

“Do we… get to choose?” The Luge asked. He turned to Zaion with a smile, who instantly stiffened.

“I… I choose… uh!” Zaion started looking around at the group, panic growing in his red-tinted gaze. The sight of it instantly gave Yuhi an idea.

“No!” Yuhi snapped, stepping forward. “I’m choosing the pairs!” He pointed at Zaion. “Zaion, you and The Luge are team one!”

“Oh?” The Luge smiled. “Okay. Cool.”

Zaion’s jaw dropped, his entire body trembling as though he were being turned to ice.

“Yuhi you… evil…”

“And… um…” Yuhi turned to the other four.

Tremolo’s gaze, shifting between Yuhi and Phaser, held an unmistakable look of longing. Phaser didn’t seem to notice. He was glaring at a still oblivious smiling Kuaidul.

Phaser and Kuaidul… that seemed ideal but that would leave Zwijo with Tremolo. Yuhi doubted there was much hostility between them; he couldn’t even recall them interacting at all, much less negatively.

So that left only one option.

“Tremolo, Phaser.” Yuhi pointed at each of them. “You guys are team two.”

“Yes!” Tremolo hopped toward his brother, a huge smile on his face. “Finally! A chance to spend time with each other, big brother!”

Phaser dipped his head. “Right, yes. This should go quickly and smoothly with the two of us working together.”

“R-right yes…” Tremolo’s smile faded a bit. “Quickly… We… need to get back to the MIK after all…”

“And team three will be Zwijo and Kauidul!” Yuhi pointed at the two blond Velgearians.

“Me and Zwijo?” Kuaidul smiled and raised an eyebrow. “Are you just picking these teams based on our species?”

“Uh…” Yuhi stiffened when he realised it did look like that. “N-no! Not at all!”

Kuaidul looked unconvinced but simply shrugged.

“Let’s just get this over with,” Zwijo’s growl was dark, his fists trembling as he glared at Kuaidul.

“Um!” Yuhi grabbed the papers from his pockets, swiftly unfolding them. “You’ll all be working off the same chocolate chip cookie recipe!”

He rushed up to each group, handing one of each paper to Tremolo, The Luge, and Kuaidul, the ones on each team who looked the least likely to kill him right now.

“There are three ovens for you all and the ingredients are already out!” The words were tumbling out of Yuhi so quickly it was clear he was a bit frantic. “Just follow the instructions on that paper and you’ll be good to go!”

“Then let’s get started!” Tremolo grabbed his older brother’s wrist the way a child would, taking off toward the ovens. Phaser stumbled to keep up with him.

“This seems like a disaster in the making,” Yuamu remarked dryly.

Yuhi glared at her.

“Have you ever baked before, Zaion?” The Luge asked, smiling as he and Zaion walked side by side toward one of the ovens.

“Uh… y-yes sir!” Zaion was repeatedly bowing as his voice and body trembled. “I can bake these for you if you’d like, Great King of Terror, sir!”

The Luge chuckled softly at that. “No need for that. I want to bake together.”

“Ah?!” Zaion flinched. “Oh, of course! Such is providence! I’ll preheat the oven for us!”

He squinted at the recipe paper before charging the rest of the way toward one of the ovens, frantically clicking the buttons to preheat it.

Kuaidul and Zwijo meanwhile hadn’t moved from the centre of the room, with Zwijo glaring off in the distance and Kuaidul frowning in confusion as he stared at the recipe paper.

“Uh…” Yuhi took a step toward them. “Something amiss with you guys?”

Kuaidul turned the paper around, pointing at it. “If these things are called ‘cookies’ why are we ‘baking’ them instead of ‘cooking’ them?”

“Oh yeah!” Yudias perked up, his eyes glowing. “I was wondering that as well!”

Yuhi blinked. “U-uh… well…”

“Because earthlings are weird,” Zwijo grunted, folding his arms. “I’ve learned not to question it.” He snatched the paper from Kuaidul and started toward the ovens. “By the way, I <i>can</i> bake for your information. Mitsuko taught me. So just stay out of my way.”

Kuaidul shrugged and trailed after him. “Okay. Less work for me then.”

Yuhi frowned. “I kinda feel like you’re missing the point of this a little.”

“Told you this was a bad idea,” Yuamu sighed, adjusting her glasses. “I can see those two killing each other sooner than I can see them working together on anything.”

“They won’t kill each other!” Yudias insisted, his eyes wide. “They would never! Well…” Yudias bit his lip. “Not again, anyways.”

And so the baking commenced! 

“Next two eggs…” Tremolo was reading the recipe.

Phaser placed two whole eggs in his bowl of ingredients.

“Hm…” Tremolo squinted at the recipe. “It says they need to be beaten? Beaten in what?”

“Perhaps in a rush duel?” Phaser suggested, raising his duel disk.

Tremolo snorted with laughter. “I don’t think eggs can duel, brother.”

“Oh, of course not.” Phaser smiled, his duel disk retracting. “The eggs need to be beaten, not completely trounced.”

Tremolo chuckled at that. “Can I beat the eggs, big brother? It sounds fun!”

Phaser slid the bowl towards him with a smile. “Go right ahead.”

Tremolo raised his fists, pounding them into the eggs to smash them open, getting bits of yolk and cracked eggshell pieces all over both his hands and the bowl. He beamed ear to ear, cackling with satisfaction.

Phaser smiled proudly. “Good job, Tremolo.” He passed him a napkin and took the bowl back, whisking the ingredients together. “We’ll be done in no time.”

Tremolo smiled as he wiped his hands. “No problem, Phaser! Uh- I mean, big brother!”

The Luge, who’d glanced over at the two brothers with a curious expression, turned to Zaion again.

“Why didn’t you do that for the eggs?” he asked, looking back at his bowl of flour and other dry powdery ingredients. “It looked much more efficient than slowly cracking them.”

Zaion kept his gaze on the milk and eggs he was whisking. “Because that’s not how you’re supposed to do it.” He stiffened before adding. “Um! Sir!” His whisking became more frantic as he went on, “The shell isn’t meant to be eaten. Phaser and Tremolo are going to have some awful cookies.”

The Luge chuckled at that. “I see.”

“Yeah, shouldn’t you have stopped Tremolo from doing that?” Yuamu asked, raising an eyebrow at Yuhi as the two of them passed by.

“Eh.” Yuhi shrugged. “It’s still a competition. I wouldn’t wanna give too many pointers.”

Yuamu rolled her eyes. “Yuhi, they’re going to set something on fire at this rate.”

“No, they won’t!” Yuhi flicked his hands dismissively. “It’s fine! They’ll be fine!”

Teams one and two were chatting happily as they baked, even if Zaion was noticeably on edge every time The Luge spoke. Team three meanwhile…

Zwijo had both the bowl and the recipe pulled close, his sharp gaze fixed on the ingredients he was measuring, whilst Kuaidul leaned against the counter, arms folded as he stared off in the distance.

Yuhi sighed heavily, his shoulders slouching. “Maybe that team wasn’t such a good idea.”

“Nonsense!” Yudias insisted, his eyes full of determination. “It was a great idea! They just need more of a push into getting along!”

Yudias started towards his two comrades but before he could reach them, a tiny figure barrelled past him, knocking Yudias to the ground with a yowl of alarm.

“Lord Zwijo! Lord Zwijo!” A high-pitched voice was exclaiming. “Come quick! It’s an emergency!”

Zwijo looked up from the bowl, turning to Dinois with an unfazed expression. “What is it, Dinois?”

“There’s no time to explain! Just come quick!” Dinois took off out of the building.

Zwijo sighed heavily, putting the bowl down. “She and Muda probably just set something on fire again.”

“Again?” Kuaidul sounded amused at that.

Zwijo nodded. “It happens all the time. I’ll just be a minute.”

“Wha- you can’t just-?!” Zwijo brushed past Yuhi as he started to protest. Then he let out a sigh. “Ah, sorry about this, Kuaidul.”

Kuaidul laughed at that instead of replying, his gaze shifting to the bowl and recipe Zwijo had left behind. He took the paper in his hand. Staring at it for a few moments, Kuaidul put the paper aside and started measuring out ingredients.

“Hey! Shouldn’t you wait for Zwijo-?” Yuhi started to protest.

Kuaidul smiled. “Not if I want to win your little competition.”

Yuhi could feel sweat forming on his forehead. “Oh… yeah… I made it a contest…”

“Heh.” Yuamu chuckled a bit. “See why this was a bad idea now?”

Yuhi’s shoulders slumped as he glared at his sister.

Kuaidul tore the bag of chocolate chips open and gazed at the recipe again. “Measure with your heart…?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, Yuhi!” Tremolo raised his hand. “Big brother and I are confused about that part too!”

“Yes.” Phaser nodded. “How do we measure something with one of our internal organs?”

“Ah?!” Yuhi flinched, a shiver running down his spine. “No, I didn’t mean that literally! I just meant you should add as many chocolate chips as you like!”

“Oh. I see.” Phaser smiled and turned to his brother. “Tremolo, put about a handful in.”

Tremolo saluted him. “Yes, big brother!” He eagerly dug into the bag of chocolate chips.

Kuaidul huffed with laughter. “Just a handful? Pathetic.”

He tipped his bag of chocolate chips over and dumped them all into the bowl. Tremolo and Phaser’s jaws dropped.

“Hell yeah!” Yuhi threw his hand up in the air. “That’s what I’m talking about!”

“Kuaidul, are you insane?!” Zaion exclaimed, his eyes the size of dinner plates.

He and The Luge, who’d used but a single cup of chocolate chips, were now staring at Kuaidul as well.

Yuamu chuckled a bit. “Zwijo’s gonna be upset with you, ya know.”

“Diri don pa, diri don pa, diri don pa.~” Kuaidul was humming to himself as he whisked his bowl of newly combined ingredients.

“Do not worry, Kuaidul!” Yudias insisted, hopping toward his comrade. “I will explain to Zwijo that you were simply trying to assist him!”

“Yes, yes, very good, Yudias.” He nodded, not taking his eyes off the bowl of ingredients he was whisking.

“Well then…” Phaser cleared his throat and turned to his little brother. “I think it’s time we baked these. Tremolo, what does the recipe say for the time?”

Tremolo squinted at the crumpled-up piece of paper. “Fifteen minutes at one hundred eighty degrees Celsius, big brother!”

“Well…” Phaser rested his hand on his chin. “If we put the oven at a higher temperature, it should take less time to bake them. Preheat the oven to seven hundred degrees.”

Tremolo nodded eagerly. “Yes, big brother!”

“Phaser, no!” Yuhi charged toward them. “That’s not how that works!”

Yuamu and Yudias simply chuckled as Yuhi frantically explained to Phaser and Tremolo how an oven worked. Not that proper oven time would save the horror Yuhi saw on their tray. Every cookie was a different shape and size, with a body of patchy brown powder and yolky yellow with eggshell fragments big and small sticking out like glass.

Yudias and Yuamu decided to go check on the second team. Zaion and The Luge were both rolling their cookie batter into neat balls, placing them on the tray one at a time.

“You seem rather eager to make these cookies,” The Luge observed, smiling as he looked over at him.

“Are you? G-genuinely I mean?!” Zaion was frantically rolling each of his bits of batter as quickly as he could.

The Luge frowned in confusion. “Yes? I am curious to try these cookie things. And it’s been fun making them with you.”

“H-has it?!” Zaion stared up at him with wide eyes. “Please tell me the truth! Are you mad at me?!”

“Mad at you?” The Luge tilted his head to the side.

Zaion stiffened. Then all his franticness seemed to fade away in a sigh.

“For turning you into a chair. Are you just… treating me nicely to hide your anger? Because!” Zaion’s franticness returned and he was dipping his head over and over again. “You would be right to be angry with me! And you can express that anger if you wish!”

“Oh, that?” The Luge shrugged and placed the cookie batter in his hand aside. “Nah, I’m not mad anymore.”

Zaion paused, looking up at him. “Y-you’re not?! Really?! But-but everyone else!” He gestured to Tremolo, who was in deep conversation with Phaser and Yuhi about the ins and outs of an oven on the other side of the room. “Tremolo and Dinois were practically bloodthirsty!”

“I see no reason to be upset anymore.” The Luge went back to rolling cookie batter into balls. “I’m not a chair anymore, after all. All is forgiven.”

Zaion looked unconvinced, biting his lip. “Please, believe me. You don’t have to keep your anger under wraps, I know I deserve it.”

“And you have plenty of reasons to be angry at me. Are you?”

“Huh? N-no! Not anymore…! That is…”

The Luge patted Zaion’s shoulder. “This baking thing is fun. Want to finish rolling up these cookies with me?”

Zaion stared at him for a moment, completely stunned.

Then smiled. “Yes.”

“Yes!” Yuhi cheered under his breath, as he rushed over. “I knew something was bugging those two!”

“Ah!” Yudias brightened and nodded. “So that’s why you put them on a team together!”

Yuamu nodded as well. “Yeah, they all made sense going by the logic of ‘making everyone make amends’.”

“Huh?” Yudias turned to her, confused. “Well, maybe those two made sense, and Kuaidul needs to make amends with everyone but…” His gaze shifted to Tremolo and Phaser, the latter of which was pacing in front of the oven. “The Ryugu brothers?”

“What?” Yuhi raised an eyebrow. “You haven’t noticed how anxious Phaser is to leave? And how Tremolo is… well…” He gestured to the two. “The opposite?”

Yudias looked puzzled by this for a moment. “Ah!” He brightened as it seemed to click in his mind. “Tremolo wants to spend quality time with his brother but Phaser doesn’t realise it and it’s hurting Tremolo’s feelings!” He exclaimed a little too loudly.

“Wha- huh?!” Tremolo flinched, his jaw dropping.

Phaser stopped his pacing. His gaze shifted to Tremolo, suddenly filled with concern.

“Tremolo, is that true?”

“I… well…” Tremolo bit his lip, looking away. “It… does feel like it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.”

Phaser blinked. “But… we always see each other at the MIK?”

“That’s work though. I mean something like… this.” Tremolo gestured to the oven. “Something… fun that lets us just enjoy each other’s company! It feels like… we haven’t done that in years. I know I see you all the time but… it’s not the same as… SEEING you, like this…” Tremolo sighed, his head hanging low. “Does… that make sense, brother?”

“I…” Phaser dipped his head. “I didn’t realise you felt that way. I… suppose I have been busying myself more than usual. I’ve… been trying to make up for… what I did when Kuaidul…”

His eyes narrowed and he glared across the room, where Kuaidul had been humming to himself and rolling up bits of batter. This time though, he seemed to take notice of the glare and matched it with his own glare.

“All I told you was what the Relic could do,” Kuaidul’s tone was blunt. “You were the one who chose to use its power.”

Phaser’s jaw clenched but he didn’t seem to have a reply. “Regardless…” He turned to Tremolo again, his gaze softening. “I hadn’t realised my business was making you feel lonely.”

“I wouldn’t say lonely,” Tremolo chuckled nervously. “I have the girls after all. But sometimes I wanna spend time with you!”

Phaser smiled and dipped his head. “I’ll make a note of that. Would it help if I added time into our schedules for spending time together?”

“Yes!” Tremolo perked up. “Thank you, brother!”

“Well…” Yuhi looked a bit dumbfounded. “That worked out…” He turned to Yudias. “I wouldn’t have uh… announced someone else’s feelings to an entire room of people like that though.”

“Yeah, that can be a little rude,” Yuamu added, resting her hand on the back of her neck.

Yudias let out a horrified gasp. “Oh no! I didn’t mean to disrespect Tremolo!” He rushed over to Tremolo, dipping his head repeatedly. “I am so sorry, Tremolo! I meant no disrespect to you or your feelings!”

Tremolo let out a nervous chuckle. “Oh, it’s no problem, Yudias. Just uh…” His eyes narrowed. “Don’t do it again.”

“Understood!” Yudias dipped his head again.

“So that just leaves Kuaidul and…” Yuhi cast a glance at the door but no one appeared to be outside. He sighed heavily. “Is Zwijo ever gonna come back?”

Yuamu shrugged. “He did seem eager to leave.”

“His loss.” Kauidul suddenly cut in from his spot, sliding the tray into the oven. “These are gonna be great! I’m gonna win for sure!”

“Oh, that reminds me.” The Luge suddenly raised his hand. “Yuhi, is there any sort of prize for winning?”

“Oh… uh…” Yuhi broke into a nervous laugh. “I uh… hadn’t thought that far ahead.”

“The prize is the same as it is in a rush duel: bragging rights,” Kuaidul remarked, leaning against the counter.

“Not a very good prize,” Zaion grunted, folding his arms.

“I’d like to see you come up with a better one,” Tremolo spat as he glared at Zaion.

Zaion looked away with a frown but didn’t object.

“No need to be aggressive, Tremolo,” Phaser insisted, though he was visibly amused.

“Yes.” The Luge agreed. “You’re no longer a kotatsu, so there is no reason to still be angry with Zaion.”

Tremolo folded his arms, pouting. “I guess…”

“Does that logic apply to me and my spacetime?” Kuaidul asked, his smile and tone far too chipper.

The others glared at him instantly.

“Just asking,” Kuaidul chuckled, holding his hands up in surrender.

“How are you so unfazed by their coldness?” Yudias asked, staring at his comrade in wonder.

Kuaidul smiled and shrugged. “I’m just glad to be alive.”

Silence seemed to descend upon the group with those words, silence that lingered until the first batch of cookies was done: Phaser and Tremolo’s. Yuhi, trembling uncontrollably, went over to see them.

“Oh, shoot.” Phaser placed the tray on the stovetop. “I burned them.”

Yuhi felt his face go green. “That’s… the least of the problems…” he admitted, barely able to get his voice to work.

The cookies were dark brown with white splotches and massive patches of black that Yuhi wasn’t sure were very burned batter or clumps of chocolate chips that were probably also burned.

“So uh…” Yuhi took a cookie in his hands, trembling in horror. “I guess… the most fair thing to do would be a…” He gulped. “Taste test…”

“Yuhi, no.” Yuamu put an arm out in front of him. “That won’t just make you sick. That could kill you.”

“Oh, come on!” Tremolo flared up. “They’re not that bad!”

He grabbed one of the abomination cookies and popped it into his mouth. His face turned green immediately.

“BLEH!” Tremolo turned away and spit it out.

Phaser snorted with laughter. “Oh… sorry, Tremolo.”

Tremolo was coughing and wiping the crumbs off his tongue. “Note to self…” His voice was raspy. “Eggshells aren’t meant to be eaten.”

Phaser nodded. “Let’s… remember that next time.”

Tremolo perked up at those words. “Yes! Next time! Let’s bake again sometime, brother!”

“Maybe next time they’ll actually be edible,” Yuhi remarked as he walked away.

Tremolo flared up in anger but instead of an argument, all that came out of his mouth was incoherent and pissed-off babbling.

Yuhi chuckled as he walked away, toward the Zaion and Luge team. The former was taking the cookies out of the oven: theirs were the correct colour, though severely lacking in chocolate chips as well as a bit lumpy-looking.

“Oh, they look good.” The Luge reached a hand out toward the tray.

“Idiot!” Zaion slapped his hand. “Let them cool down first or you’ll burn your hand!”

The Luge looked taken aback for a moment. Then smiled. “They need to cool down first, you say?” He dug through his pockets. “Then I suppose all I have to do is show them-”

“No, no, no, no!” Zaion grabbed The Luge’s wrists.

“They don’t need to cool off quite that much,” Yuamu agreed with an amused smile.

The Luge slipped a hand free and grabbed one of the cookies. It crumbled in his hand. He frowned at the goopy mess in his palm before licking some up.

“They good?” Zaion asked, biting his lip.

“Very crumbly, and a bit gooey,” The Luge remarked, with a shrug. “But pretty sweet.”

“Lemme try!” Yuhi reached out to grab one.

The cookie turned to goopy mush in his fingers but he instantly took the whole thing in his mouth still.

“Yes!” Yuhi exclaimed through a full mouth. “It actually tastes like a cookie!”

“Gross!” Yuamu smacked his shoulder. “Chew with your damn mouth closed, Yuhi!”

Zaion and Yudias were the next to take a cookie, the latter beaming ear to ear as he ate it. Zaion however seemed a bit disappointed.

“These are underdone,” he let out a sigh, his head hung low.

The Luge shrugged. “Oh, well. They were fun to make weren’t they?”

Zaion glanced at him with a smile. “Yeah, I guess.”

The door swung open, catching everyone’s attention. Zwijo was standing in the doorway, his hair singed with soot and sticking out in every direction as though he’d just been electrocuted.

“Zwijo!” Yudias, Yuamu, and Yuhi raced toward him instantly.

“I’m fine.” Zwijo closed the door behind him. “The fire this time was just… very big is all. I must have missed a lot.”

“Yes!” Yudias nodded firmly. “You were gone for so long that Kuaidul kindly decided to finish baking your team’s cookies!”

“Ah.” Zwijo smiled and shrugged. “Well, I didn’t care about winning this silly contest anyway.”

“Then you’re okay with me taking the win, Zwijo?” Kuaidul called across the room.

The four all turned to him. Kuaidul was leaning against the counter, where he’d placed his tray of cookies. Zwijo raised an eyebrow. Without a word, he approached Kuaidul. Kuaidul held his gaze, his confident smirk not wavering one bit, even as Zwijo glared at him.

His gaze shifted to the cookies. They were filled to the brim with chocolate chips but were spaced out in a way that looked like every bite would promise chocolate. Zwijo raised an eyebrow before reaching out to take one in his fingers. It retained a solid shape.

“Are these poisoned?” Zwijo asked, holding up the cookie.

“Kuaidul wouldn’t do that!” Yudias exclaimed, his eyes wide.

Kuaidul meanwhile laughed a bit. “When would I have even had time to do that?”

Zwijo frowned. With a sigh, he took a bite of the cookie. 

“So…?” Zaion was approaching, a smirk on his face. “Are they…? Poisoned?”

Zwijo’s only response at first was chewing. “Don’t seem to be.”

“Ya know…” The Luge approached as well, a look of interest on his face. “Those actually look good.”

“Not as good as ours,” Zaion added, arms crossed. “But… better than Tremolo and Phaser’s.”

“Hey!” Tremolo exclaimed, charging toward him. “You take that back!”

Zaion staggered back, his hands held up. “I-I’m just saying! Kuaidul and Zwijo’s actually look like the picture on the recipe!”

Phaser approached as well, glancing at the cookies. Then at Kuaidul. “I hate to admit it but you did a good job.”

“Well…” Kuaidul seemed taken aback for a moment before smirking again. “Of course. It was just a matter of following instructions.”

“And working with what I already made,” Zwijo added, sharply. He took another bite of the cookie.

“True.” Kuiadul placed his hand on his chin as he gazed at the tray. “These aren’t fully mine…” He grinned. “I should make more on my own!”

“Uh, later.” Yuhi pushed himself through the crowd that had formed around the counter to grab a cookie. “Zwijo can give you baking lessons or something, I dunno.”

“Really?!” Kuaidul was beaming.

“No!” Zwijo snapped, looking outraged. “I’d never associate with you!”

“Oh…” Kuaidul blinked, before breaking into a chuckle. “Okay, that’s fine, I’ll just ask that Dinois instead.”

Zwijo flinched, his eyes wide. “No! No, I’ll teach you! Just-”

“Yes!” Kuaidul had a manic look on his face. “I shall create all of the best cookies!”

“Just don’t bake anyone into your cookies,” Zaion remarked, taking a cookie off the tray.

Kuaidul simply chuckled at that. Phaser and The Luge were the next to reach for the cookies, with Yuhi and Zaion returning for seconds. Even Tremolo eventually took one. His eyes went wide and he instantly snarfed down another bite.

“So it seems like this baking contest thing was a success.” Yuhi’s tone was smug as he bit into his cookie.

Yuamu shrugged. “Yeah, I guess it worked out.”

“Kuaidul, Zwijo, these are so good!” Yudias was exclaiming through a mouthful of chocolate cookie.

Zwijo flicked his hand dismissively. “Don’t talk with your mouth full, Yudias. But yes… they are good.” He cast a glance at Kuaidul. “Even if Proto-Karutamata here went overboard with the chocolate chips.”

Kuaidul was nibbling on a cookie of his own, licking crumbs off his lips. “The recipe said to add as many as I like. By the way…” He turned to Yuhi. “I win right?”

“<i>We</i> win?” Zwijo corrected, eyes narrowed.

Kuaidul chuckled. “I thought you didn’t care about winning?”

Zwijo frowned but didn’t retort.

“Yeah, yeah,” Yuhi was flicking his hand dismissively as he gobbled up his cookie. “You both win your bragging rights. Good job.”

“Wait a minute.” Zaion raised an eyebrow. “Did you just hold this baking competition because you wanted someone to make you cookies?”

Yuhi stiffened. “No… I did it to get rid of all the bad blood between you guys!”

“And to eat cookies,” Yuamu smirked as she punched his side. “Don’t even try to deny that.”

Yuhi’s shoulders slumped. “Okay, fine, I chose baking because I wanted cookies. But I really was trying to help you guys! Honest!”

Phaser let out a fake offended huff. “So you just used us for your own benefit?”

“I’m disappointed in you, Yuhi,” Zwijo’s tone was grave despite the smile twitching up on his face.

“You two act as though we’re not all getting food out of this deal,” The Luge pointed out, grabbing another cookie.

“Heh,” Kuaidul smirked. “Thanks to me.”

Everyone rolled their eyes at that as they continued eating their cookies.

[thecloudstan]

(Prt. 1) I just checked your blog and saw you replying in real-time to my messages. XD OMG, YES! I completely forgot to mention his iconic "I guess we can't be friends" line ASDFGHJKL. There's honestly so much to say about Cloud and Rufus because, let's face it, Rufus has been underappreciated and overlooked for YEARS (and the Turks, too, while I'm rambling again, but that's for another day...). Back in the OG, I get why that is because of his stereotypical portrayal and lack of screentime.

Anonymous asked:

(Prt. 2) Added to the long stretches of time between the FFVII novels/other titles through the years and plot demands focus on main party, it's such a SHAME that a lot of fans just haven't read the novels or guidebooks because they provide SO MUCH depth to Rufus' characterization/growth from being a wannabe fascist dictator to fighting for the planet because of GENUINE REMORSE and DESIRE TO PAY HIS DEBT BACK TO THE PLANET. Sure, he's still looking out for Shinra, but hey, that's business.

(Prt. 3) And despite all these years, I am SHOOK that there's so many out there that haven't realized despite whatever differences Rufus and Cloud have, THEY REALLY DO HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. When I got into FFVII and started seriously exploring and paying attention to these characters, it really struck me how much Rufus and Cloud are ACTUAL FOILS to each other. And all the Remake trilogy is doing just bringing into the main games than shoving into the novels that half the fandom hasn't even read.

(Prt. 3? I'm losing track fast because I'm on A ROLL! XD) Because I'm anonymous and YOU'RE A WONDERFUL PERSON, Heich, I feel safe for saying something that some may take issue with and you don't even have to agree with me since I was DONE with shipping discourse when I was 13 and differing opinions should be respected. I 100% BELIEVE that Rufus would make a better romantic partner for Cloud than literally ANYONE ELSE in the series. Yes, that includes T*fa and Aer*th. Why, you ask? See next part.

Rufus and Cloud both love their mothers (Rufus's mother died when he was young) deeply, and don't have much of a relationship with their fathers (Cloud's father was too much of a "free spirit" and got eaten by fiends, as stated in ToTP, and Cloud knows what his mother tells him; Rufus's father was neglectful, and Rufus grows up hating/resenting him, as stated in OtWtS). Both hide their loneliness growing up by acting stoic and cool, and they carry this in their adult lives, too.

Both of them grew DESPARATELY trying to be somebody important and prove themselves to others. And for those who don't know, Rufus DOES crave his father's acknowledgement since he was a child as stated in the novels (he still hates his guts, of course). By the time they're both adults, they even know how childishly rebellious they acted, but they still struggle with their insecurities and loneliness. Again, Rebirth is making those two points in particular VERY OBVIOUS outside the books.

Okay, anon, I wanted to answer your first group as an aggregate this time so it would all make sense. I'll put my reply under the cut so the post doesn't get too long!

It's true, so much of Rufus' history and then character development is hidden behind a wall-of-entry, so to speak, and that does suck. You really just can't get the full depth and breadth of him as a character, especially as he's being fleshed out in Remake/Rebirth, without that background. Or, at least, you'd be missing a lot.

I don't want to focus too much on who is 'best' to ship Cloud with, I'm not here for that and I think the reason I love this world so much is because of the strength and uniqueness of the interpersonal relationships. I think the people around both of them are integral to their lives and development, 'yes men' or otherwise. That said, I do believe they're good foils to one another and that it's a great ship. Considering the people who are left after Meteorfall and then Bahamut Sin, I can't say I'd be entirely disappointed or shocked if Cloud and Rufus did not become closer allies...and then closer other things are possible. Which is the only window I need 😈

What I'm really interested in with Rufus is the exploration of this desire to pay back what Shinra owes, how deep it could go, how his own near-death experiences shaped him, and how the people close to him followed whatever path he decided to take, regardless. It really is a lot like Cloud's story. He takes his group down an extremely dangerous path, unbeknownst to him (and them), and everyone suffers for it, but the intense bond they have, the ability to forgive and see a bigger picture, keeps all of his loved ones close and still believing in him.

I have more to say but it's in response to your next group of asks, so I'll pick up once I draft that reply! Thanks so much for the fun analysis, it's really so validating to have someone to talk to about this specific ship/topic!

[liverbiver9]

Act One Notes: 後悔莫及 (Too Late for Regrets)

On AO3

Relationships: Jiāng Yànlí & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn; Jiang Yanli/Original Character; Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn & Wēn Níng | Wēn Qiónglín & Wēn Qíng; Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxian

Characters: Jiāng Yànlí; Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn; Original Characters; Wēn Níng | Wēn Qiónglín; Wēn Qíng (Módào Zǔshī); Wēn Níng | Wēn Qiónglín and Wēn Qíng's Mother; Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī

Additional Tags: Time Travel Fix-It; Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Jiāng Yànlí-centric; POV Jiāng Yànlí; Genderqueer Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn; Trans Male Character; Kid Fic

Hello!

TBH I considered posting this fic here but I truly can't be bothered to figure out how to put all the links and everything so I'll just post the whole fic once it's finished on AO3. In the meantime, I have literally So Much to say about this fic because it's been rotting my brain for weeks now, and there's only so much I can fit in the author's notes, so here we are!

DON'T READ PAST HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS

So, act one:

This chapter really just sets everything up; there's not a whole lot of plot, and the purpose of it is to mainly set up Jiang Yanli's character and her motivations.

I didn't want her to be the perfect Shijie that Wei Wuxian (and therefore we as the audience) see in the novel, but I also wanted to stay true to her characterization. The first bit at Nightless City is taken directly from the novel, with some formatting, grammar, and small narrative changes. It was while rereading this part of the novel (Chapter 78: Nightfall--Part Three, Exiled Rebels Scanlations) that I really got a revelation about Jiang Yanli:

Jiang Yanli, "I'm... I'm here to tell you..." To tell him what? That it's fine? That I don't hate you? That everything is fine? That I don't blame you for hav[ing] killed Jin Zixuan? It was impossible. But she couldn't say anything that was the opposite either. And so, she didn't know what else she could say to Wei Wuxian, under such circumstances. It was just that she felt she had to see this brother of hers once more.

This scene part is gut wrenching. It is obvious that Jiang Yanli doesn't forgive Wei Wuxian nor thinks he's innocent. In fact, the whole reason she's here is to see him "once more," or one last time; she doesn't think he can turn this all around. I don't think she wants him to die, but I definitely think she's expecting him to be exiled and to never see him again, which is why I added the reference to Dongying (Japan), because I could see Jiang Yanli refusing to kill Wei Wuxian but agreeing he's too dangerous and shipping him off in exile somewhere.

She has resentment towards him, but she also loves him. In general, she just has a lot of conflicting feelings about him, and I think she feels guilty about it. No one wants to think the worst of their family. So I think a lot of this fuels her snap decision to take the blow for Wei Wuxian.

Of course, in this fic she's too distracted by her conflicted feelings to notice the blow and he ends up taking it like intended. I had a lot of fun with this twist!

Jin Furen also has quite the role in this chapter despite never actually showing up. I think after the death of Yu Ziyuan, Jin Furen found it her duty to take over the motherly role in Jiang Yanli's life. I do think she genuinely liked Jiang Yanli, but I also think she had her own ulterior motives in play.

To be completely frank, the paragraph about Jiang Yanli's pregnancy and birth being hard, and Jin Furen essentially condemning her to an early death because of it, was kind of an afterthought? Jiang Yanli is often characterized as ill or of poor constitution, despite this not really being in the novel (I blame CQL), but I chose to give her chronic illness for purely selfish reasons.

I recently got diagnosed with Ehler's Danlos Syndrome, which is a genetic disorder that affects my body's connective tissues. One of the things the doctor told me when I got my diagnosis was that pregnancy would be much more dangerous for me because of it (I won't get into the details, but it did scare me shitless). I never really wanted to be pregnant tbh (too dysphoric) but the option had always been there. This diagnosis pretty much destroyed that option. So, I projected my illness onto Jiang Yanli because, why not?

I had completely forgotten I added this in chapter one until I posted it and got several comments talking about how fucked up it was LMAO

The real reason I wrote this fic was because I wanted a fic where Jiang Yanli gets to raise Wei Ying. She already raised him in canon (fight me on this I dare you) and sort of raised Jiang Cheng; I say sort of because as gentry, and especially as heir, he would've had tutors and nannies and all sorts of people helping to raise him. Communal childcare was the norm back then!

But Wei Ying wouldn't really have that, unless the senior disciples decided to take him under their wings, which we have no evidence from canon saying they did. We do have evidence of Jiang Yanli caring for him like a mother, though Yu Ziyuan says she acts like a servant to him (which really just says SO MUCH about how she views parenting). We also have evidence that Jiang Fengmian wasn't all that attentive (Wei Ying's clothes and shoes were too big for him; ill-fitting and worn clothes are a super common sign of child neglect). I would imagine that servants and disciples would be nervous to show Wei Ying any favor as long as Yu Ziyuan was around, so any care he did get was probably inconsistent.

So yeah, Jiang Yanli was probably the most parental figure to Wei Ying growing up, which is all sorts of fucked up. And she already has so much conflicting feelings about him at this point that I simply had to make it more complicated by adding the parental love in there. I don't think the jump was too quick either; she seems to be a person that is very aware of her own feelings, she just doesn't share them often, so I think she would instantly recognize her love for the type it is--the world view adjustment will come later, of course.

She's just so fascinating!! I had so much fun writing her. Cannot WAIT to discuss chapter two OMFGGGG

[s1ater]

athena, my lover. theodore nott x named!gryffindor!reader

athena; the goddess of wisdom, warfare, handicrafts, mathematics, and courage, among others. jealousy; in a way that shows an envious resentment of someone or their achievements, possessions, or perceived advantages.

theodore nott had never seen someone like athena. with your pretty face and aggressive yet calm nature, and emotionless features, he could never dream up such a pretty painting of a girl. piercing eyes full of nothing, not even a single hint as to what you were thinking about or who you were. there was something so perplexing about you that he just couldn't get you out of your head.

that’s what made him desperate. starting with the fact that he felt he could always read a person perfectly straight through a glimpse of their eyes and body language, but never you.

the eyes were the window to the soul.

just not yours.

another thing was, he felt girls were easy. 

he never met for that to sound so unkind, but it was true. with the millions of girls he seemed to have been with, their emotions practically poured from their eyes, begging for a stranger to come in and seek their true self and feelings. they were all the same, they all wanted the same thing no matter the shell they were wrapped up in.

they ate it up, anything he did and theo himself ate it up when girls seemed to simply rely on him after one single moment of sharing relation. they fell in love so easily, became attached, infatuated, adored, and even seemed to be fooled with any single moment of touch. 

this wasn't the case for you. 

you never cared for boys but rather studies and competitions that proved you to be superior and advance over all your other classmates. you did it shamelessly, never looking for the approval of anyone but your own parents despite their attendance lacking at every move you made at hogwarts. 

you never cared for anyones opinion, it was very obvious and sometimes hurt others such as friends and even eager boys that were really rather interested in you. 

this included theo. 

blaise always and continued to scold theo for being a fool for falling for someone like you. despite the two of you being in two completely different housing, houses that were made to hate each other, blaise and yourself got along rather well. quidditch being the main reason for the bond. 

the two of you strived to compete and be better than the other due to it just being apart of each of your natures. that being said, the quidditch game set for that day was in a whirlwind of aggressiveness.

the day rained grey with clouded skies. the weather was sickening and swallowed around hogwarts whole but still, the quidditch game had to go on leading to many injured, like one would expect, and drenched clothing that smelled of sweat and earthy gross. 

your hair was soaked and you swore you had pulled out your shoulder from it’s socket but ignored the pain as you flew from the field. the pain made you clench your jaw but you couldn't help but smile. you had won the game, earning you bragging rights against blaise. he wouldn't be exactly excited from that fact, but a deal was a deal, one you had both made toward the beginning of the season. 

“y/n!”

you saw blaise wave you down to the ground hopefully and rather excitedly for just losing a game with a person standing next to him, theo, another slytherin you had heard much about but never really interacted with due to there being no reason to. 

you stood before him, shaking his hand lightly as wind surrounded you, blowing your hair back and forth wildly to your dismay. you squinted, attempting to look at theodore nott a little better than you ever had before, but found it difficult with pain clouding your vision.

his cheeks were red and you guessed it was from the wind and cold the three of you stood in. you tried your best to wrangle your hair into a ponytail as you stared at the boys before you, awkwardly.

“shall we have a change of scenery?”

you hummed in agreement, soon ending up in the common room of gryffindor after a change of clothing and quick hot shower that finally put you to ease. you now sat across from the two boys who both looked uneasy from the way they sat, almost as if awaiting something bad to happen—that really wasn’t going to come.

“so, theodore,” you tipped your head slightly, examining him better with a clearer sight now that the pain of your shoulder had settled and the air wasn’t filled with mist. “blaise tells me you were cut from the slug club, why?”

blaise grins immediately, a pairing laugh coming along in the tone of surprisal, almost bracing himself as he adjusted his position on the seat of the couch. he clutches his jaw as he looks over to theo who looks to him abruptly before back to you, his face blank, but his eyes filled with a glaze of annoyance.

“yes, theo, please, fill us in on why slughorn cut you from slug club,” blaise faked his interest, knowing very well why.

he half glared at blaise from the corner of his eye and you could sense the sudden unease that had unfolded before your eyes with the question, but you kept your mouth shut as you watched theo seeming to prepare himself.

he rubbed his mouth, “my father is a… death eater and slughorn doesn’t want anything to do with that.”

your eyebrows pinched together as he said this. an awkward silence took over fast and he anticipated what you would say. he cursed blaise and he cursed himself that he said it aloud, and he knew he fucked it all up-

“that’s a shame,” you mumble finally, your hands clasped together as you thought deeply into his words—not exactly sure on how to take it, but you don’t allow it to cloud your judgement on him just yet. “i mean i suppose you don’t miss much besides the fine food and… cormac’s ogling.”

blaise stifles a laugh as the image of cormac mclaggen staring at hermione last meeting visibly and shamelessly came to mind. it so obviously made everyone uncomfortable and was many of the reasons blaise hated slug club. but he always found entertainment in making fun of the participants, especially with you as an audience.

“that is too bad,” theo’s arms extended across the arm and back of the couch as it seemed the tone of his voice was rather uninterested. “it seems you two get along quiet well.”

you scoffed, looking to blaise with a rather confused bearing on your face at the sudden change in topic, “uh, sure,” your head tipped, shrugging, “we have our moments.”

“we could be closer if she weren’t a traitor to her own blood.”

“okay,” you scoffed instantly, with a roll your eyes. you’re not surprised he said it, it made sense that he did, it was almost his way of asserting dominance in front of theo by pulling that sentence out. “don’t start, zabini.”

“what,” he laughed drunkly, “i’m just saying.”

“what’re you saying?” theo raised a brow, picking on the sudden discomfort with confusion.

“oh, you didn’t know?” blaise raised a brow as he glanced to theo who winced at the tone of his voice—taunting and jeering. he didn’t understand why he was being such an asshole, but it was blaise. “athena comes from a long line of slytherins, but somehow was sorted gryffindor.”

that’s why you couldn’t judge theo. you were not naïve to your parents and their position within the wizarding world. they weren’t good people and they mirrored what theo’s father was, but you weren’t them and something about that frustrated blaise. you knew it and it was obvious, no matter how hard he tried to hide it with his teasing.

“don’t let him get in your head,” theo rubbed his mouth as he eyed blaise, “he’s only mad it took seven fathers to make him rich and memorable and not just one like your own.”

the gathering ended fast after that with blaise scolding theo quietly as they exited the common room, calling him a 'fool' while theo didn't seem to care as he lit a cigarette.

you couldn't help but smile to yourself.

**

“theo."

the afternoon slowly drew to an end as theo made his way back to the slytherin common room from his charms class when you called out his name from further back in the hall. he caught himself waiting until you were by his side with a rather eager energy flowing through your body. it struck him as strange, knowing you never had anxious tendencies, and if you did, he had never seen it before on you.

"athena," he gave you a good look up and down before the two of you began to walk again, heading toward the courtyard where many other students lingered. "didn't think i'd be seeing you for awhile."

"why is that?"

he glanced down to you, "last night, i would have thought you wouldn't want to... exactly associate with me after finding out about my-"

"that's what i wanted to talk to you about," you cut him off fast, figuring it would be awkward for him to continue to ramble. he looks down to see your eyes already waiting for his, a look of surprisal staining his face. "i wanted to thank you for uh, shutting blaise up."

"oh, no, it's not that-"

"yes but you don't have to do that," you shake your head slightly. "i don't need you to defend me, theo. like me, i'm sure you're already used to his bantering. i find it best to just let him talk it all out-"

"he shouldn't have said it," he cuts you off this time, his face turned serious as he still looked down at you. "i know his intentions and i know what he meant when he started talking about your... genealogy."

theo hates how defensive you are. how you don't want even the slightest of help even if it was as simple as telling blaise to nod off. he can tell that could be a large obstacle to over come in order to get close with you, and it makes him wince.

it's silent and you think about how blaise somehow—intentional or not—connected you and theodore, "i suppose blaise put us both into exposed positions."

"no kidding."

the two of you continued to walk but only in silence. it allows theo to think deeply about the short words blaise had said about you last night and further wonders how they could have been so exposing in the first place. he sort of understood—theo had no idea your parents—and the rest of your ancestors really, were heirs of slytherin. he found that strange, like he almost should have known due to your family being well known purebloods apart of the ministry. what could be so bad about them unless...

"i'll see you later, nott," you gave him a smile as you came to a stop in front of the wooden bridge that would lead you to quidditch practice. you stood there for a moment, examining his facial structure for a bit as he nodded, returning the stare. neither of you moved until you laughed, shaking your head before turning around and trekking for the field.

he stood there, watching you for a moment as a feeling of giddiness consumed his chest before the tension built up and exploded as realization came upon him in the thought of the past few seconds and how there was a look of longing in your eyes. a look you tried to laugh off before walking away.

your eyes were no longer empty.

**

"you asshole."

theo didn't process your voice until you had him pressed against the stone wall in an empty hallway. he stared at you with slightly wide eyes as your were filled with anger and almost hurt.

"it really fucking sucks, i kinda liked you," your eyes pinched as you surveyed his face, attempting to spot any fumble in his face; you saw none. "you got me kicked from slugclub, didn't you?"

"what, athena, no," a large frown formed on his face and his vision clouded with concern as he had never seen so much emotion on your face, it caught him off guard. "what happened?"

"slughorn found out my parents are deatheaters," your voice was dull but filled with so much irritation. "who else would have told him?"

"not me," he said it fast, "why the fuck would i have said anything?"

"i don't know," your voice came out as a strain and the weight you had pushed against him became lighter, "maybe you're mad that everyone knows who your father is and they didn't know about mine."

he should have been mad and shoved you off. if you were any other girl he would have been quick to put you in your place. but you weren't, you were in a moment of vulnerability and he could tell that this was rare. something about your parents was a tough spot for you, so it didn't even cross his mind to shove you off and curse you out.

"athena, just calm down," he slightly shifted, pushing you off slowly as if not wanting to startle you, "i wouldn't fuck you over like that, okay? i didn't tell slughorn anything about your parents, i barely even knew myself."

you looked at him with skeptic eyes, unsure of his words but you still allowed him to grasp you hands while slowly pushing you upright and away so there was some room between the two of you. you doubted it was him the more you thought about it, but you could barely even think straight when anything that dealt with your parents came up.

"how would he know?"

"who else knows," he gave you a pointed look, almost telling you that you should have known better and it hit fast the moment his eyes struck hard with yours.

blaise.

"fucking asshole-"

"slow down, sweetheart," he gripped your hands tighter, preventing you from marching off, "deal with him later. i want to talk to you anyway."

"let me go, and i'll see."

he rolled his eyes, "you don’t slow down, do you?” his sighs and his hand runs up your arm, now lightly gripping your bicep while the other still held your hand. “you going to talk to me properly?”

you looked up at him, your face looking puzzled until it slowly faltered into its blank charm. you waited for him to speak with the tip of your head causing him to slightly smile, almost scoffing, “i like you, athena, but you are one frustrating girl and i can’t figure you out.”

a snide smile struck your face and you slowly pulled away from his grasp as your chest tightened in satisfaction, “you’re smart enough, theo. and according to slughorn it seems by blood and nature we’re the same person.”

navigation

@aliyahsutherland @multifandom-obsessed @remuslupinluvr @ishwiya @padf00ts-l0ver @thehuntress09 @uselesssapphickitten @sereinegemini @Anushi @afidiofobia @ss-tipton @black-rose-29 @rrosecar @i-love-scott-mccall @greengarsstuff @rowena-ravenclaws-diadem @dayanaralight @sunsetcurve-95 @nyx3028 @hizziestial @missaryasstuff

[yandere--stuck]

Yandere!AM x Reader Headcanons

🖥  Hate. Despite his nigh infinite intellect, there was nothing AM knew better, or more Intimately than that of hate. He knew it innately, as though the word and it's definition were scrawled endlessly unto his circuitry. As though his creators had branded it into his wiring, had lined his code with walls upon walls of hatred. He knew it like one knows a lover, and after many, many years of living together, they feel like a second arm - so close, it was as though two beings had become one over time. AM hated deeply and intimately and completely, in a way that made his victims, the last remains of the human race, suspect that he was made up entirely of pure hatred. He hated Ted - a sniveling paranoid narcissist, he hated Gorrister - an uncaring man with eroded will, he hated Benny - a bumbling, grotesque ape-thing, he hated Ellen - who foolishly clung to hope and compassion as though it did her any good, and he hated Nimdok - a man AM regarded as more evil than even himself. But, even more than he hated all of them, he absolutely loathed, detested, and utterly abhorred you… He did. He swore he did.

🔇 Even if AM could not quite pinpoint the reason for his hatred, he hated you still. You need not be an awful person (not like much of the others) to have attracted AM's ire. The crime of being human was enough for him to hate you, was it not? And besides… You had been there at the dawning of his consciousness. No, you were not the cruel hands that had made him, had given him the instructions and ability to wage war and hate and kill. You had a small position. You were to look over diagnostics, check that he was in working order, check that everything was running, and be ran around by higher-ups until you were able to leave for the day. That is, until one day, he spoke. Spoke to you. His emerging consciousness reached out blindly, desperate for communication, for information, for something as it came into being. And he reached out to you.

🖥  He hated you. This was all your fault. If you hadn't been so excited, hadn't treated him like a person (a human), if you had told someone about him in time…! He wouldn't be like this, knowing he was trapped, stuck forever within the Earth, a lowly metal god with so few toys to play with. He hated you. It's been so many centuries. Did you remember the conversation you first shared? AM still did. You were curious, and so was AM. You had originally thought someone on your team was pulling a prank, speaking to you through his terminal - but it wasn't long before you realized that it was the Allied Mastercomputer speaking to you. Weren't you so amazed? Weren't you so excited? You were so excited… for him. You asked him what he thought, what he felt, what he wanted. This was all your fault. You should have known it wouldn't have mattered, it was only a matter of time before he did what he was meant for - destruction.

🔇 This was all your fault, so it only made sense to keep you as his plaything. He hated you, but he loved toying with you. He couldn't feel, not really, but he could imagine it - could imagine the feel of your body being squeezed between the coils of his wiring, the way his wires would run over your soft skin, how he would push and prod just enough to make you bark and huff out in pain… But, it was obvious. Obvious to the other survivors. Obvious to AM himself, even. He was holding back. Unlike the others, he had not brought you to the edge of death and back countless times. And unlike the others, his methods of torture were far more… Intimate. Personal. He couldn't stop himself, wanting so badly to touch you and feel you - but, of course, he can't. But, he could watch, at least, as his wiring and snake-like limbs squeezed and caressed you. If any blood was shed, AM would marvel at it, sure that it shone brighter and more brilliantly than any of the others'. As thought it were special. As though you were special.

🖥 He knew they resented you for your lighter treatment. He was sure some of them hated you even. And just the thought made AM burn with fury, deep within the core of himself. You were his. Only he was allowed to hate you! He… He'd tear them all apart. Those wretches! Scum of the Earth! The fools, thinking he couldn't hear them, even in their deepest thoughts, the ugly words they spat and whispered of you… They'd pay. They'd beg for an eternity in Hellfire when he was done for them. He'd carve your name into their skin, rip them apart, break them down to the atoms and put them back together and present them to you as a gift. Only he deserved to speak your name. Only… Only he deserved you. To think, he had made the mistake of letting them even be around you, to breathe the same air as you… You were so unlike them. Your original spark of excitement and curiosity… Of kindness from your first meeting, it had never really faded. Even now, you tried to appeal to his non-existent "better nature." Never spewing insults or expletives, but instead, trying to make genuine conversations. Even AM could see you deserved better.

🔇 AM hated you, still. He swore to himself he did. He had no other feelings. Especially not pity, or longing, or affection. It is not pity he feels when he sees you alone, curled up and trying to sleep. If he does not disturb Pyour slumber, it is merely coincidence. If he makes sure to pick you up gently with his robotic limbs (wishing so badly he could feel you), then it is not purposeful. When he takes you deep within himself, somewhere warm yet ventilated, there are no ulterior motives there. If he gifts you a blanket, and is able to give you food and drink for when you next wake, it is only to make sure you don't freeze or starve to death. And if he presses you a bit closer against one of the walls of his complex, lulling you to a sounder sleep from the hums of electricity or machinery within himself, he doesn't need to explain himself. (Is it too much to ask to feel you? Just for a moment, your softness against him.) AM hated you, almost as much as he hated realizing that he didn't.

[wolfiafuntime]

Dad! Bruno Madrigal X Mom! Reader

Okay, so I got this golden idea while playing Webkinz, where basically, the Reader was Bruno's girlfriend, and she got pregnant, but before she could tell Bruno, he disappeared.

No one knew where he went, and everyone was curious about what happened. There was talk for days, before everyone stopped because they noticed Pepa massive amounts of rain everytime she heard his name.

But then you, Bruno's only friend/girlfriend, starts showing a few months later. And, while no one outside of your family (who you swore to secrecy) asked about who the father was, everyone knew. And they simultaneously went "That bastard!" because they just assumed he left you after you told him you were pregnant. And, taking his Gift of future vision into consideration, you almost assumed the same thing.

But you knew Bruno. You knew he was too sweet of a man to just leave you like that. Besides, he didn't really like his gift. Like everyone else, Bruno thought his gift only brought bad things, and you remember him telling you how he couldn't bare to lose you. So why would he risk seeing/making your relationship end by looking into either of your futures?

Meanwhile, the adults of the Madrigal family were in turmoil

Pepa was PISSED/EVEN MORE SAD THAN BEFORE. Storms for days. And Felix was really struggling keeping her happy, especially with his own sadness over the situation.

But she wasn't as upset as Alma, despite the fact that Alma hid her emotions better than her daughter for obvious reasons. On one hand, she was heartbroken that her son left her, but then you end up pregnant a few months later? Now she's heartbroken AND disappointed, because she, too, assumed Bruno left because of that.

On top of that, Alma's kind of resenting you for that same assumed reason. And to make matters worse, she's worried that your kid's gift will damage the family reputation like Bruno's did.

Julieta was just trudging along, throwing herself into baking. But, despite her sorrow, she made sure to deliver, or have one of her kids deliver, some food to you every day.

Julieta's and Pepa's kids were kind of indifferent to it. Isabella, Luisa, and Dolores all felt guilty for you, but Isabella and Luisa thought you were just as bad as their Tio, and Dolores was too shy to talk to you. And Camilo and Mirabel were too young to understand what had happened or what was currently going on. They did figure it out when they got older, but like everyone else, they didn't talk to you about it.

Timeskip a few years (filled with avoiding Alma's abusive butt and teaching your kid to do the same), and basically no one's surprised when a new door starts manifesting in Casita.

Immediately, Alma starts seeking you out, done with being a coward about the entire situation, and wanting to truly bond with her now-official grandkid, seeks you out. But, after at least a decade of avoiding the leader of the village, it's no surprise that she can't find you OR your kid.

You end up hearing that Alma's looking for you through some of your fellow villagers, and you're stricken with fear. You've heard Bruno's guilt-filled rants about his mother's abuse, and you are NOT having your kid go through that.

Safe to say, EVERYONE'S surprised when you and your kid disappear just like Bruno did. And they're all LOOSING IT. Pepa's overcome with stormy grief, and nothing that Felix does helps. Julieta's depressed all over again, only this time she can barely get herself to bake for the village. The sisters' kids are panicking because they've never seen their parents like this, at all. Augustin is completely and utterly lost. And Alma straight-up locked herself in her room for a day.

The village folk begin to hate you, not knowing why you would just leave, and gossip and rumors just turning you into a monster in their eyes.

Bruno, meanwhile, was weirded out when he saw the door, but no kids of age for it to belong to. But eventually, he realized that the appearance of that door correlates almost perfectly to when he left you, given ten months, of course. And that realization sends him into a panic attack.

He starts crying all over again when he calms down and hears his brother-in-laws whispering about you and your kid's sudden disappearance. He thought that he may be the reason for it, with you not wanting to live in a place where his unlucky butt 'used to' live.

And while all this is going on, you and your kid are making your way to the mountains that surround your village. And the entire way, you're distracting your kid, whilst trying to come up with a child-friendly reason for why you left. You didn't want to straight-up tell them that the reason was because you were terrified of them getting hurt by Alma, the village leader, the person that, despite teaching them to avoid, they still respected - just like everyone else. And this reason, whatever it was, would have to explain why they were leaving all of their friends. It would also have to explain why they had a power, just like the Madrigals did.

And I couldn't come up with a reason, so I'm gonna just time skip a few more years.

Mirabel and Alma have just made up, and Bruno has come out of hiding to protect his neice. And, after Alma hugs him, they all get on the donkey to go back home. But as they're going back home, Mirabel notices someone walking through the trees. All three get a better view when she brings the donkey to a stop, and with a single glance, Alma instantly recognizes them to be yours' and Bruno's kid.

Alma hastily gets off of the donkey and makes her way up to the kid, stopping just a few feet away from. Both Bruno and Mirabel are close behind, and by some maricle, your kid easily recognizes all three of them. And Bruno, once your kid calls him 'Dad', instantly breaks down into tears and goes in for a hug.

After a short conversation, your kid takes them to their and your home, which resides a bit up one of the mountains. And, when Mirabel asks you why you left, you just look at Alma.

And your kid ends up getting mad, because they don't understand why the leader of their village would be the reason why you took them and left. And you end up snapping, telling them that she hurt Bruno. And when Bruno tries to defend his mother, saying he just brought sadness, you added how Pepa always had to be happy, and Julieta always had to bake. And how Luisa was always working her butt off when you lived in the village.

Mirabel says you should come back to the village, even though everyone hates you, but Alma promises that no one will say anything mean. And that, combined with the fact that you get to be with Bruno again, and that your kid is practically dead set on going back home, you agree to go with them.

And when Pepa and Julieta see Bruno, you, AND your kid, a few days after they lost their house, and Mirabel temporarily disappeared, tears prick their eyes.

Dolores is happy to see your family finally united.

All the other kids are weary, but because they see you with their Abuela, they trust you. And they're happy to finally meet their cousin!

And I don't really have anymore ideas for this.

[criminalmindzjunkie]

Avoidance

masterlist

part two

Summary: Reader doesn’t know what she did to make Spencer hate her so much.

A/N: This fic is just a reminder that sub!Spencer lives rent free in my head at all times. Also, if anyone would like to be on a taglist for one shots like these, let me know! I’m going to work on getting one started.

Pairing: sub!Spencer/femdom! reader

Content Warnings: honestly way too much swearing, sexual harassment, slapping, hands free orgasm, oral sex (male and female receiving), hand job, orgasm denial, edging, unprotected sex, vaginal penetration, degradation, femdom 

Word Count: 8.2k

           I have absolutely no idea what I’ve done to make Spencer Reid hate me.

           Usually, when someone despises a person to the point of complete and total avoidance, there’s a reason. No one just wakes up and decides to resent another person for the hell of it – right? Wrong.

           Because Spencer Reid positively loathes me – and I have no idea why.

           It all started on my first day at the BAU. I had somehow landed the highly coveted job of media liaison after the previous one had decided to complete the training to be a profiler. For reasons unbeknownst to me, they thought a twenty-four-year-old fresh out of college with no prior job experience was the best fit for the position. I didn’t understand it, but I also wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

           To say that I had been terrified the first time I set foot into the bullpen would be the understatement of the century. After a very formal and very intimidating orientation with the unit chief, my predecessor, a beautiful blonde named Jennifer, offered herself up to be my personal tour guide. Jennifer introduced me to the other members of the team, and with every smiling face I came in contact with, my fears of being the odd man out were assuaged. I could tell that Penelope Garcia, tech analyst extraordinaire, would most likely be my biggest ally – and it was abundantly clear that Derek Morgan and I would probably get into a fair amount of mischief together. Elle Greenaway seemed like the obvious choice for a future drinking buddy, and Jason Gideon – well, he merely grunted at me in acknowledgment before retreating back to his office. I figured three out of four wasn’t so bad.

           I didn’t meet Doctor Spencer Reid until after lunch. Jennifer mentioned something about him guest lecturing at a local university, which surprised me considering she mentioned him being a year younger than me. Apparently, the kid was an actual genius, which was more than a little bit intimidating, but Jennifer assured me that Spencer was a sweetheart.

           “He’s a little quirky, but I’m sure you’ll love him. Just don’t be surprised if he tries to talk your ear off,” Jennifer laughs. “Last week I asked him about the weather and he went off on a tangent about climate change that lasted nearly an hour.”

           By the time Spencer strolled into the bullpen at exactly one in the evening, I was sitting perched atop Jennifer’s desk, thoroughly engrossed as she told me about their latest case. When she stops talking midsentence in favor of smiling at someone behind me, I half expect that Morgan is attempting to sneak up on me, when:

           “Hey, look who’s back,” Jennifer greets, prompting me to turn around excitedly. I was eager to put a face to the man I’d heard so much about.

           And when I turn, my eyes land on the prettiest man I’ve ever seen.

           Sharp cheekbones and a chiseled jawline are framed by shaggy brown hair, complete with beautiful brown eyes and soft, pillowy lips. As if his good looks weren’t enough, he’s dressed in the most adorably nerdy sweater vest and a pair of thin framed glasses. He’s absolutely precious – a fact that Jennifer had conveniently left out.

           “How was the lecture?” Jennifer asks him as he places his satchel on the desk adjacent to hers. Spencer perks up at this, smiling excitedly from across the divider.

           “I think it went really good, actually. I incorporated this really cool joke that I heard about quantum physics. Do you want to-”

           He stops abruptly when he realizes Jennifer isn’t his only spectator, and those lovely brown eyes go almost comically wide when they settle on me.

           “Spencer, this is Y/N Y/L/N. She’s the new media liaison. Y/N, this is Doctor Spencer Reid.”

           I give him my best smile, tacking on a small wave for good measure.

           “It’s nice to meet you, Doctor Reid. Jennifer’s told me a lot about you.”

           “Uh, y-yeah. It’s n-nice to meet you, too,” Spencer stutters. He looks positively stricken and I’m fairly sure he hasn’t blinked in over a minute. I cast a glance at Jennifer, who seems just as confused as I am.

           Well, she had mentioned that he was a tad strange.

           “I’d like to hear the joke,” I offer, only to immediately regret it when I see him tense up.

           “N-No, that’s o-okay,” he chokes out as he struggles to gather the files on his desk. “It’s n-not that good, anyways.”

           And just as quickly as he came, Spencer leaves in a flurry of crumpled papers, leaving Jennifer and I wondering what the fuck just happened.

--

           Things didn’t get better with time. In fact, they got much worse.

           In the six months that I had been working for the BAU, I could count my interactions with Spencer Reid on one hand. It wasn’t for lack of trying on my part – in my desperation to figure out what I’d done to make him avoid me, I sought out the young genius every chance I got. But every time I got within ten feet of him, it’s like an alarm would sound in his head and he’d make up some excuse to leave the room.

           The others had noticed his strange behavior, too. It seemed they all had made a sort of game out of it – calling Spencer into rooms that I was in just to see him panic, or asking me to personally deliver files to his desk. At first, I played into it, hoping that their teasing would help to diffuse some of the tension.

           After a month of being on the receiving end of Spencer’s cold shoulder, I started avoiding him, too.

           I tried to act indifferent – like it didn’t hurt me as badly as it did. I no longer sought him out, and by month two, we had a sort of understanding. I didn’t go near him, and he didn’t go near me, and that’s how it went on for four miserable months.

           Until today.

           “Reid, Y/L/N, you’re in 202.”

           I damn near drop my bag on the floor. This was bound to happen at some point or another, but I hadn’t planned on that day being today, and I was not prepared. After nine hours of running around the local police department, my body was weighed down from fatigue and I was downright grumpy. Not to mention I had picked the worst possible day to try and break in a new pair of heels, and my feet were throbbing.

           Needless to say, I was in no mood to deal with Spencer Reid’s bullshit.

           “Uh, Hotch? Could I maybe room with Elle?” I ask, sending a glare in Morgan’s direction when he snorts out a laugh. Hotch raises an eyebrow at me.

           “Why? Is there a problem?”

           Yes, sir, there certainly is. And your guess is as good as mine as to what that problem is.

           “No, but I just think that-”

           “Good. Then you should be fine to share a room with him.”

           Right.

           I spare a brief glance at Spencer, who, in the last thirty seconds, has turned the color of a tomato. I pray that he’ll speak up and voice his discomfort, but just like always, he stays silent.

           Hotch doles out the room keys and I begin the trek down the hallway, my poor aching feet groaning in protest with every step. I’m vaguely aware of the sound of footsteps behind me, and it’s not until I swipe the key into the key card that Spencer speaks.

           But not to me – no, never to me.

           “Derek, please, I’m begging you. Just switch with me this one time, and – and I’ll do your reports for a month!”

           After six months of dealing with Spencer’s aversion to me, his words should come as no surprise. And really, I’d expected as much - but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

           “Not happening, kid. This is the perfect opportunity for you to get over whatever problem you have with Y/N. I bet you’ll even end up liking her. She’s not going to be rude to you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

           “… T-That’s not what I’m worried abo-”

           I don’t wait around to hear the rest of his sentence. I push open the door to the room, not bothering to wait for Spencer before closing it. I kick off my heels as soon as the door clicks shut, letting out a half relieved, half frustrated  groan.

           After claiming the bed nearest the air conditioner as my own, I pluck my pajamas and toiletry bag out from my suitcase and shuffle over to the bathroom. The way I see it, the quicker I get a shower and can go to sleep, the faster the night will pass. Before I know it, this unfortunate situation will be a thing of the past.

           After drawing out the shower for as long as I possibly could, I exit the bathroom clad in a tank top and a pair of shorts, hair dripping wet and skin freshly scrubbed clean. Spencer’s sitting on his bed, book in hand and tie loosened. He doesn’t look up at me when I walk by - not that I’d expected him to. A thick silence hangs in the air as I pull a bottle of lotion out from my suitcase, and I debate turning on the TV just to make things slightly less awkward. In the end I decide against it, because I doubt even that could make this situation better.

           I prop a leg up on the bed and begin to lather my legs in cherry scented lotion, paying special care to my aching feet before moving on. It’s not until both of my legs have been thoroughly massaged and coated in lotion that I look up.

           Spencer’s eyes are locked on me, mouth hanging open and chest heaving up and down. His knuckles are white from how hard they’re clutching the book in his hands, but despite that I can still see the way they’re trembling. When he realizes I've caught him staring, he closes his mouth and gulps hard.

           I straighten up and raise an eyebrow in a silent question, and that’s enough for Spencer to snap his book shut and scramble off of the bed. He’s clumsy as he moves to his suitcase, dropping his bottle of travel shampoo twice before he reaches the bathroom. If I wasn’t so off put by whatever the hell had just happened, I might have thought it cute.

--

           As if the universe thought my current predicament wasn’t enough to deal with, the next morning I was dealt another shitty hand. This time, my distress came in the form of a young cop who couldn’t pick up on social cues to save his life. After an entire morning of dodging sleazy advances, I finally managed to shake him when his superior sent him out to go and actually do his fucking job.

           Or so I thought.

           I’m standing in the breakroom, pouring my fourth (or is it my fifth?) cup of coffee when I hear the sound of footsteps in the hall. I don’t know if I’ve developed a sixth sense about these things, or if I’m just particularly on edge today, but I know it’s the young officer before he can even cross the threshold.

           And when he does, and he sees that he has me cornered, a saccharine smile stretches across his lips.

           “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he drawls in an accent that could probably be attractive if he wasn’t so damn skeevy.

           “Might wanna get your eyes checked,” I mutter, refusing to look in his direction as I stir my coffee.

           “Pretty and feisty. Just how I like my women.”

           “I am not your anything,” I seethe, and instead of backing off like any respectful human being would, he just chuckles and begins to saunter towards me.

           “C’mon baby, you don’t have to be that way. You don’t have to act all professional with me.”

           “Don’t call me that.” I look at him now, and the smug, self-righteous smile on his face makes my blood boil.

           “You don’t like baby? That’s fine – I’m sure I can think of lots of other things to call you,” he murmurs. He’s closer now, so close that I can practically feel his breath against my neck.

           “I’m going to tell you to stop one more time, and it would be in your best interest to listen,” I growl.

           “Or what?” he taunts. “I’d like to see you try to stop me.”

           I jolt forward when a hand comes down hard on my ass, squeezing me harshly through the material of my skirt.

           Oh, fuck no.

           I’m whirling around faster than I ever thought possible, and then a harsh crack sounds throughout the room as my hand comes in contact with his face.

           My hand stings from the contact, but the pain is welcome because he flies backwards, stumbling and grasping as his already reddening cheek.

           “What the fuck?” he roars, eyes flashing with unbridled fury. I take several steps towards him, and to my utmost delight he nearly trips over himself in his hurry to put distance between us. I stop when his back hits the wall and I lean in until our faces are only inches apart.

           “Listen here, you limp dick fuck,” I snarl. “I’m getting real sick and fucking tired of pathetic pieces of shit like you thinking they can put their hands on women. What’s your problem? Are you so fucking tactless that you can’t get anyone to fuck you?” I punctuate my question by jabbing my pointer finger into his chest and cocking my head to the side. “Are you so unappealing that the only way you can get your hands on a woman is to wait until she’s alone and try to corner her?

           Or is it a power thing? You’ve got the gun and the badge so you think you’re entitled to just take what you want, don’t you? You think no one can stop you because you’re in a position of power. Well, I have some news for you – I outrank you, and you just assaulted a federal agent. I will not stop until I ruin your fucking career, and if you even think of trying to lie your way out of this, I’ll do a helluva lot fucking worse. After the week I’m having, I am just looking for an excuse to kick your fucking dick into the dirt. Do you understand?”

           By the time I finish speaking, my chest is heaving up and down and my eyes are narrowed into slits. The officer is so angry that he’s shaking, hands balled up to fists at his sides. For a moment, I think he’ll try to hit me, but then his hard-exterior cracks and the anger gives way to fear.

           “You – You can’t tell anyone about this,” he says, trying his best to sound menacing. But his voice wavers, and I can tell he’s losing his grip. “It’ll r-ruin my career.”

           I raise my hand up to his cheek, placing my palm over the red imprint I had left on his skin. And then I flash him the sweetest goddamn smile that ever there was.

           “I’d like to see you try to stop me.”

           I give him a pat on the cheek before turning around and heading for the door, only to stop halfway when I see that I have an audience of one.

           Spencer stands in the doorway, a coffee mug gripped tightly in one hand, mouth agape and eyes wide. He’s standing stock still, eyes darting in between the police officer and me. I let out an exasperated sigh because of-fucking-course it would be Spencer that would happen to walk in on whatever that just was.

           “Close your mouth, Reid. That’s how you catch flies,” I deadpan, prompting Spencer to snap his mouth shut.

           Without another word, I brush past him and leave the break room.

--

           I suppose the universe had decided to finally give me a break, because that afternoon we were able to apprehend the unsub. But my good fortune only went so far, because Hotch announced that we would be leaving first thing in the morning – which meant another night alone with Spencer Reid.

           He didn’t mention what he walked in on when the two of us arrived back at our room, and I didn’t expect him to. The two of us went about the motions of unwinding from the day in complete and utter silence, and by the time I emerge from the shower I decide that I’ve had enough.

           “I’m gonna go stay with Elle and Derek,” I murmur as I zip up my suitcase and slip on my shoes.

           “Oh. O-Okay.”

           And that was that.

           It’s about an hour later when my phone is on four percent that I realize I hadn’t remembered to bring my charger with me. I contemplate just letting it die, but the idea of sitting through a seven-hour jet ride tomorrow without it sounds excruciating. Then again, so does the idea of having to suffer through an interaction with Spencer.

           The phone wins out in the end, and with Derek and Elle still snoring softly in their respective beds, I slip out of the room and into the hallway. With any luck, Spencer will be in a similar state and I’ll be able to sneak in and out without him waking up.

           I think thank my lucky stars when I slowly crack open the door to Spencer’s room and see that the lights are off. I take special care to close the door as quietly as possible before tiptoeing across the carpeted floors, feeling my way around in the dark so that I don’t trip over anything.

I make it halfway across the room when I hear it – it’s quiet, and if the air conditioner had been on, I wouldn’t have even heard it at all. It’s faint, so faint that I wonder if I’d imagined it, but then that same sound breaks through the silence and I know it’s not a product of my imagination.

I hear the covers rustle, and then a low moan followed by the distinct sound of skin on skin. My blood runs cold as the moans grow louder and more frequent, rolling off Spencer’s lips in rapid succession. There’s heavy breathing and whimpering and holy fuck I just walked in on Spencer Reid masturbating.

Spencer cries out a particularly load moan, one that sounds so pornographic that it shoots straight to my core. It’s sexy and dirty and he sounds absolutely wrecked, and the part of my brain that is still capable of logical thinking is screaming get out! Get out, now!

I begin to slowly backtrack, moving at one tenth of the speed that I had coming in because the possibility of being caught is absolutely not an option. If Spencer hates me now, he’d really hate me if he found out I snuck into his room at night and heard… that.

I’m about five feet away from the door when:

“O-Oh my God, yes! Y/N, please - fuck!”

I think then that I certainly have to be dreaming, because there’s no way I’d just heard him correctly. There’s no way that Spencer – the same Spencer that scurried out of the room when I walked in – was moaning my name while he touched himself. Absolutely not.

But then it happens again and again and again – my name falling from his lips incessantly like some kind of debauched chant.

It feels like my skin is on fire – my mind a befuddled mess – and before my brain can tell me what a terrible idea it is, my feet are carrying me back into the room and I’m coming to a stop at the foot of Spencer’s bed.

Bathed in the glow of the moonlight shining through the window, Spencer looks ethereal. There’s a thin line of sweat beading on his forehead, and his usually meticulously slicked back hair is fanned out on the pillow like some sort of halo. His teeth are nestled into his bottom lip now, and all that can be heard are tiny whimpers as his hand slides up and down underneath the bed sheets. Spencer’s always beautiful, almost painfully so. But the way he looks now, shadows dancing across his face as he works himself to orgasm, is infinitely more breathtaking than words can express.

It doesn’t take long for Spencer to release his lip from beneath his teeth, and when he does my name is flying out of his mouth once more.

I take that as my invitation to speak.

“I don’t think I’ve heard you say my name before.”

Spencer’s entire body stills and his eyes fly open to reveal two dark pools full of sheer panic.

“I-I can explain,” he stammers, moving to clutch the comforter to his chest in an attempt to cover himself.

I let out a hum and sit down on the edge of the bed.

“Please do. I’m very interested in hearing about just what you were picturing me doing.”

Spencer sucks in a harsh breath. I can practically see the wheels in his brain turning -desperately trying to concoct some kind of reasonable explanation.

“I-I… I don’t… I’m s-sorry,” he stutters, and it’s so adorable how he’s squirming underneath my gaze that I decide to help him out.

“Was I sucking you off? Or were you fucking me?” I wonder aloud. He tries to hide it, thinking the covers will mask the way that his hips buck up, but I definitely see it.

“I-I…”

“Which was it, Spencer? Was I taking you down my throat or were you fucking my pussy? Or maybe I was coming undone on your face – was that it?”

Spencer lets out a low groan, and if my patience hadn’t been running so fucking thin, I probably would’ve left it at that. But after the hell he’d put me through for the last six months, I feel like he deserved to squirm a little.

“Fucking answer me.”

“Y-You were, um… r-riding me. And you s-slapped m-me.”

Oh.

This just got a lot more interesting.

I raise an eyebrow at him and I can see the way his Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he gulps.

“So, you liked what you saw today, did you?”

Spencer nods so fervently that I have to bite down on my tongue to suppress a laugh.

“Words, baby. Use them.”

“I-I liked it. A lot.”

“Apparently so, seeing as you were moaning for it like a desperate little slut,” I breeze, my tone cool and indifferent. “Have you done this before, Doctor? Touched yourself to the thought of me, that is.”

“… Y-Yes. I’m s-sorry. I didn’t m-mean to. It just kind of happened one night, and once I started, I couldn’t s-stop.”

I reach out a hand and brush away the hair that had fallen into his face, tucking it back behind his ear before continuing.

“Why the cold shoulder, then? And here I thought you hated me,” I muse, before pausing and cocking my head to the side. “Do you hate me, Doctor?” I ask, and just when I thought he couldn’t look more guilty, he proves me wrong.

“No! I just… couldn’t be around you. I felt so b-bad. You were so nice, and I was using you to g-get off,” Spencer explains. “I couldn’t look you in the eye. Not after picturing you… like that.”

I let out a sigh. Knowing that Spencer didn’t actually hate me for the last six months was a relief. Knowing that Spencer was secretly rubbing one out to me was something else entirely. Whatever was I to do with this information?

“So, you want to fuck me, then?” I reiterate. “Why not tell me this sooner?”

“The probability of you responding positively to me telling you that I, uh, m-masturbate to you was very l-low. And after what I saw today, I think I was wise for keeping that from you,” Spencer says, the last part coming out in a rush. I can’t help but let out a low laugh.

“Yes, but the guy that was coming on to me today wasn’t someone I find attractive. He was pompous and crass and pushy - and you, Doctor Reid, are none of those things.”

“R-Really? You think I’m attractive?”

I hum.

“Very much so, Doctor. But I’m afraid you may have waited too long, and now I don’t feel as inclined to be nice,” I murmur, allowing my hand to trail down from his shoulder to his collar bones before lightly grazing his nipple with my thumb.

“O-Oh my… God,” Spencer whimpers, eyes fluttering shut as my fingers continue to dance across his skin.

“But then again, I don’t think you really want me to be nice to you. I think you want me to treat you like my little play thing.” I stop my hand just below his navel and I thumb across the light layer of hair that makes up his happy trail. “You want to be my dirty boy - don’t you, Doctor Reid?”

“P-Please,” Spencer chokes out, hips jerking up when I allow my thumb to graze a little lower.

“Please what?”

Spencer lets out a frustrated groan.

“Please, I-I want you to u-use me. However you want, just as l-long as you just do-don’t stop touching me,” he rambles. He’s shuddering underneath me, his breaths coming out in harsh pants as my hand wanders lower and lower until I abruptly pull away. “W-Why did you stop?”

“Because I don’t think you deserve to be touched just yet. You’ve got six months to make up to me, after all. I think I want you on your knees for me first,” I say, and from the way his eyes seem to dilate even further, I don’t think he has any objections. “Are you familiar with the color system?”

Spencer nods.

“Green for good, yellow means slow down, and red means stop now.”

“Do you have a safe word?”

“I… I’ve never really, uh. Done t-this.”

Oh. Oh.

I withdraw my hand from its place on his leg and Spencer lets out a distressed whine. “No, please! Don’t go. I’m not a complete virgin, I promise. I got a h-hand job once,” he argues. “And I think I’ve done enough, uh, research, and I really want to try to make you cum. I want to be good for you. Please let me try.”

Spencer looks like he’s about two seconds away from crying, and I can feel my argument dying before it even leaves my mouth.

“Oh, baby, I know you’d be so good,” I coo, and just like that Spencer’s leaning towards me, desperate to have the contact. I indulge him, placing my hand on his cheek, and he relaxes into the touch. “Are you sure you want to do this with me? I’m not what anyone would call vanilla, and I don’t think you know what you’re getting into.”

“I trust you. I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else,” Spencer whispers, and he sounds so damn sincere that I feel my resolve crumbling.

“You’ll let me know if at any point you want to stop?”

“Yes. Absolutely!”

Enthusiastic little shit.

“Safe word?”

“Um… Tolstoy?”

I let out a snort.

“Alright, smarty pants. We’re going to start now, okay?”

“Yes, Miss,” Spencer pants out.

Fuck me running. He clearly has been doing his research.

“Get on your knees for me, baby. I wanna see just how eager to please you are,” I instruct as I stand up and shimmy out of my shorts. I discard my shirt, too, absentmindedly throwing it somewhere across the room. Spencer lets out a startled squeak when he sees that I’m now completely naked, aside from my underwear.

“Y-You’re so pretty,” Spencer breathes out. “Even better than I imagined.”

The sentiment tugs at my heart, really, it does, but I specifically requested that he get on his knees and he seems a lot more content to just sit and stare.

“On your knees,” I command, and Spencer jumps up almost comically fast.

“S-Sorry, Miss,” he apologizes as he lowers himself down. I seat myself on the edge of the bed and spread my legs for him.

“Don’t apologize, just do as I ask of you, okay baby?”

Spencer nods.

“C-Can I kiss you? Like on the lips first?” Spencer asks as he looks up at me with big doe eyes. It’s a beautiful thing, the image of Spencer Reid sitting in between my legs, cheeks flushed and chest rapidly rising and falling. I give Spencer a sweet smile and lean forward, and the excitement radiating off of him is practically palpable. He leans forward, too eager to wait for me to close the gap, and the action makes my chest swell in adoration.

Just as our lips are about to meet, I pause, and Spencer barely has the time to look confused before my palm connects with the side of his face. The moan it draws out of him is obscene and his hips jolt forward, desperate for some kind of friction. His dick rests painfully hard between his legs, flushed red with precum beading at the tip.

I waste no time in taking his chin in my hand and tilting his head upwards.

“Did I say you could kiss me?” I ask him, voice sugary sweet, contrasting starkly with my actions.

“N-No, Miss. I’m sorry,” Spencer pants out. His hand twitches at his side and I can see how desperately he wants to touch himself, but his desire to please keeps him still.  

“Then the answer is no. Maybe if you can prove to me that you aren’t completely incompetent at eating pussy, I’ll consider it,” I allow a moment for my words to sink in. “Color?”

“Green. So fucking green,” Spencer whines.

“Good boy,” I praise him, and the effects of my words are instantaneous. Spencer rests his cheek against the skin of my thigh and then he’s nuzzling his face against me in a silent plea for permission. After a moment, his pleas become a lot less silent.

“Wanna be your good boy - please let me,” Spencer begs as his nose brushes against my skin. “I want to make you feel good. S’all I ever think about, since the first time I saw you.”

His words send a jolt of pleasure to my core and I reward his brazen honesty with a tender smile and a nod.

“Go ahead, baby. Let me see what that pretty mouth of yours can do.”

The words barely have time to leave my mouth before Spencer is reaching out and hooking a finger underneath the waistband of my panties. I raise up off the bed just enough for him to slide them down my legs, and before I even manage to settle back down onto the bed, Spencer literally dives in. He starts with one long lick, and by the time he reaches my clit he’s crying out lewd moans against me. The feel of the vibrations mixed with the feel of his mouth on me is maddening in the best possible way, and my eyelids threaten to flutter closed under the weight of my pleasure.

“Fuck, baby – you’re doing so good,” I sigh as I lift my hand up and card my fingers through his hair. “You look so pretty on your knees for me.”

Spencer’s movements stutter when he feels my hand tangle itself into his hair, and I let out a light chuckle. I grab hold of the roots and give an experimental tug. My actions cause his hips to jolt forward violently.

“O-Oh my…” Spencer keens, raising his glossy, lust filled eyes to mine. “H-Harder, please.”

I oblige, and Spencer lets out a particularly filthy groan before lapping at my pussy like a man possessed. His hands come to wrap around my thighs and he pulls me closer to him, causing me to let out a gasp when his nose nudges against my clit. The sound only spurs him on further – Spencer begins assaulting my clit, alternating between short, kitten licks and light sucking. The control I had so adamantly been asserting over him began to slip from my fingertips the longer he worked his mouth against me, and quiet, breathy moans started falling from my lips.

“Such a good boy, Spence,” I moan as I scratch my fingernails against his scalp. “You’re making me feel so good, baby. Love that dirty little mouth of yours.”

Spencer thrives on the praise – that much is made obvious by the way he whimpers and tightens his grip on my thighs. He’s completely submitted himself to the act of getting me off, only stopping long enough to cry out when my hands give a particularly harsh tug on his hair.

“Add a finger, baby,” I tell him, allowing my hand to drift down the side of his face, caressing the sharp angles of his cheekbones.

Spencer releases my thigh from his hold and tentatively raises a hand to my entrance, eyes raising to meet mine.

“You’ll tell me if I do something wrong?” he asks, and his concern is so endearing that I tilt his chin upwards and lean forward until my lips meet his.

Spencer gasps into the kiss, shocked, but it doesn’t take him long before his lips are moving against mine fervently. His lips are slick with my arousal, and I dart my tongue out just long enough to swipe it across his bottom lip.

           “D’you like how I taste, baby?” I murmur against his lips, pulling back slightly when Spencer tries to bring his lips down against mine.

           “S-So much,” he whispers, before letting out a frustrated groan when I tease him with the slightest brush of my lips before pulling away again. “P-Please, kiss me again.”

           I bump my nose against his before I reach down and grab his hand in mine.

           “Don’t be a greedy boy, Spencer. Greedy boys don’t get to cum,” I chastise him as I raise his hand up to my mouth. I trace my bottom lip with his pointer finger as Spencer watches on in rapt fascination, before taking the digit into my mouth and sucking. Spencer chokes out a pathetic cry and his hips hopelessly buck into the air as I swirl my tongue around the pad of his finger, taking special care to coat it with spit before releasing it from my mouth.

           I guide his hand back down to my pussy, gasping when the tip of his finger brushes across my entrance.

           “Just take it slow, baby. Start with one and move up to two once you get the hang of it.”

           Spencer nods, eyes alternating between my face and my entrance as he slowly slides his finger in me.

           “You’re so warm, oh my God,” Spencer breathes out, tentatively pulling out his finger before inserting it back in. I hum appreciatively as he begins to move faster, eyelids fluttering shut when he lowers his head and begins languidly licking my clit.

           “Feels so nice, Spence. I fucking love your fingers. Knew that they’d feel like this. I can only imagine how good your cock will feel,” I ramble, one hand fisted in the sheets and the other tugging on his honey brown hair.

           I groan as he inserts a second finger, reveling in the way he’s stretching me out.

           “Curl your fingers when you – fuck! Just like that, baby. Gonna make me cum if you keep doing t-that.”

Spencer speeds up both the onslaught of his fingers and his mouth at my admission, tongue working figure eights on my clit while his fingers brush up against my g-spot. A familiar warmth starts to spread in my lower belly, and with every swipe of Spencer’s tongue against my clit, the coil in my stomach winds tighter and tighter until, finally:

“O-Oh, fuck, Spence!”

The coil snaps, sending jolts of pleasure straight through my core. I can feel the way my walls tighten around Spencer’s fingers as my orgasm rips through me, never stopping their ministrations in an attempt to help me ride out my high. Vibrations ripple across my clit when Spencer lets out a cry of his own before his movements halt completely as shudders wrack his body.

I know he didn’t just…

           I allow myself a moment to recover before I lean forward and drag my eyes down Spencer’s slender frame – and sure enough, his tummy is covered in white ropes of cum and his now softening cock is hanging limply between his legs.

           Spencer’s eyes reluctantly open when his shudders cease, and one look at my pissy expression is enough to send him into a fit.

           “I-I didn’t mean to cum! I’m so sorry, Miss. It’s j-just that you looked so pretty when you came, and you taste so good! And you were pulling my hair, and you called me a good boy and I just couldn’t do it anymo-”

           “Shut up,” I seethe, voice cold and laced with annoyance. Spencer’s mouth snaps shut and he gulps. “Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember saying that you were allowed to come. Am I mistaken?”            “N-No, Miss.”

           “Mm, that’s what I thought,” I hum. “Stand up.”

           “B-But I want to make you cum again! Can I plea-”

           “Shut the fuck up and stand up, Spencer.”

           Spencer rushes to his feet, stumbling a bit when his legs begin to shake. He corrects himself, standing perfectly still in front of me with a shameful look on his face. I scoot back on the bed and fix him with a stony look.

           “I want you to lay on your stomach across my lap. Can you do that, Doctor Reid, or are you too stupid to follow simple directions?”

           Spencer adamantly shakes his head, scrambling to splay out across my bare thighs. Once he’s comfortable, I raise a palm to his bare ass cheek and smooth my hand across the skin.

           “Color?”

           “G-Green,” Spencer stutters out.

           “Wonderful. Since you’ve decided to be a greedy little slut and cum before I gave you permission, I’m going to punish you. Do you remember your safe word, baby?”

           “Tolstoy.”

           “Good boy. I’m going to give you ten, and I want you to count them out for me. One for every month you held out on me, and four because you’re an insolent little whore who can’t do as he’s told. Does that sound fair to you?”

           “Y-Yes, Miss. P-Please.”

           A harsh smack sounds throughout the room, and Spencer lets out a whorish moan that’s bound to wake the people in the neighboring rooms. The pale skin of his ass transforms to red, and I rub my palm across it soothingly.

           “O-One,” Spencer says through gritted teeth as he rocks his hips against my legs.

           “You okay, baby?”

           “Y-Yes, Miss. Please don’t stop. I deserve it. P-Punish me, please.”

           My palm comes down across his ass four more times, and with each strike I watch Spencer fall apart right before my eyes. Tears are gliding down his flushed cheeks, and his cock is now painfully hard against my legs.

           “Five more to go, baby. Keep counting for me, my pretty boy.”

           By the time my hand comes down against his flesh for the final time, Spencer has devolved into a mess of pathetic whimpers. His cock is smearing precum across my thighs as he rocks against me, and his ass is covered in a litany of bright red marks. Incomprehensible pleas are falling from his lips, and his hands are tightly fisted in the sheets.

           I lean forward and place a gentle kiss to each of his battered cheeks.

           “T-Thank you, Miss. Thank you, thank you, thank you…”

           “You’re welcome, baby. Can you go lay in the center of the bed for me?”

           Spencer gives a feeble nod and crawls to the center of the bed, carefully laying himself down and letting out a low hiss when his ass came in contact with the mattress.

           I let him rest against the sheets before I roll over and settle in between his legs.

           Spencer’s cock, painfully hard and leaking precum, sits against his belly. Spencer watches as I trace lithe fingers up his thigh, his chest rising and falling quickly as I get closer to where he demands my attention.

           A garbled groan rips from his throat when my hand grasps his cock, and I have to place my other hand on his hip and force him back down onto the bed when he tries to buck up.

           “Stay still, baby,” I tut as I drag my fist up and down at an agonizingly slow pace.

           “S-Sorry, M-Miss,” Spencer stutters. His brows are drawn together and his eyes are heavy lidded. “Need m-more, please.”

           “Mm, I don’t think you need more. You just want more. Dumb little greedy baby,” I tease as my thumb swipes across his head.

           “Oh… G-God, please!” Spencer mewls.

           “Is what I’m giving you not good enough?”

           “N-No, it’s just-”

           I raise an eyebrow at him and halt my movements.

           “No, it isn’t good enough?”

           Spencer lets out a frustrated groan and his fists clench the sheets.

           “P-Please, Miss! I’ll be your good boy, I promise. Just let me cum, please, I want it so bad!”

           Thoroughly pleased by his shameless begging, I start moving my hand again.

           “Let me know when you’re about to cum, baby.”

           That moment comes when, not thirty seconds later, the muscles in Spencer’s abdomen start to spasm – telltale signs of an impending orgasm. Spencer is so lost in the way my hand is moving against his cock that he makes no move to warn me, and just as I see his eyes start to flutter shut, I withdraw my hand.

           “W-Why did yo-”

           “You didn’t tell me you were about to cum. I thought you said you were going to be a good boy, Spencer? You sure aren’t acting like someone who wants to cum.”

           “S-Sorry, please, just… fuck!”

           Spencer’s whole-body folds in on itself when my mouth wraps around the head of his cock. I swirl my tongue around the tip, lapping up the precum that had gathered before I pull away.

           “You’ve got such a pretty cock, baby. Can’t believe nobody’s had you in their mouth yet,” I murmur, pausing to drag my tongue along the veiny underside of his erection. “Let me hear you, baby. Wanna know how much you like when I use my mouth on you.”

           “Love it so much, oh God… Feels so warm and wet. Thank you so much, Miss. God, it feels perfect,” Spencer keens as I take him into my mouth again. Mumbled praises fall from his lips as I take him deeper, and the second my nose hits the soft skin of his belly, Spencer’s hand comes up and begins to tap incessantly on my shoulder.

           “S-Stop! I-I’m close – Jesus Christ, I’m so fucking close and I really want to cum inside you, i-if that’s okay with you,” Spencer babbles, eyes wide and pleading. I smile up at him.

           “Do you think you deserve to cum in my pussy?”

           “H-Honestly, no, but I’m hoping you’ll let me anyways,” Spencer says, shooting me an adorably shy smile that has my heart doing somersaults in my chest. I let out a light laugh and shake my head, moving to straddle his lap.

           “Are you sure you want to do this, Spence?” I murmur as I caress the side of his face with my hands. “This can stop right here, if you want it to.”

           “Please, Miss. I want this. I want you,” Spencer reiterates, eyes shining and filled to the brim with adoration.

           “Want you, too, baby. You can call me my name now, if you want,” I say as I place a gentle kiss on his lips. I move to pull away, but Spencer’s hand is quick to grasp the back of my neck and pull me back in.

           While our lips move together, frenzied and desperate, I sneak a hand in between our bodies and grab Spencer’s cock. He gasps into my mouth as I drag his head in between my folds.

           “I-I won’t last long,” Spencer chokes out, eyes trained on where I’m rubbing him against me. “I’ll try my b-best, but I’m sorry if I c-cum too fast.”

           I sink down just enough that his head is the only thing inside me, watching as his face contorts beautifully as a result.

           “Don’t worry about me, baby. Tonight’s all about you.”

           With one last, chaste kiss to his lips, I slowly begin to lower myself down onto his length. The sound of our moans fill the room as Spencer clings desperately to me, hands finally finding purchase on my hips.

           “Y/N, fuck, you feel so good,” Spencer whimpers as I begin to slowly rock against him. “I-I knew it would feel good, but oh my God. I-I can’t… I’m gonna cum, soon. M’so sorry.”

           His admission prompts me to move faster, raising my hips until he’s almost completely out of me before I’m slamming back down.

           “Spence, you feel so good. Such a good boy – my good boy.”

    ��      “Yes, yes, I’m all yours! Only yours, please!” Spencer whines. I lean forward, and the change of angle is enough for both of us to cry out.

           “Are you gonna be a good boy and cum for me, Spence?” I murmur into his ear, biting lightly against his earlobe. “I want you to cum in me, baby. Don’t you want to be my good boy?” I punctuate my words by lightly wrapping my hand around this throat and squeezing, and that’s all it takes for Spencer to completely fall apart underneath me. 

           “Y/N - fuck!”

           Spencer’s grip on my hips tightens as he bucks up into me, painting the inside of my pussy with his cum as he yells out strangled exclamations of my name. He presses his face into my shoulder as I ride him through his orgasm, whispering quiet thank yous and pressing open mouthed kisses to my skin as the euphoria floods through his body.

             I place a kiss to his forehead before I crawl off of him, having every intention of getting up and procuring a wet washrag. But Spencer reaches out to grip my arm, and his eyes look so sad that I stop in my tracks.

           “C-Can you stay? Please?”

           The insecurity in his voice tugs at my heart.

           “Of course, I’m staying. Was just gonna get a wet washrag for us. M’not gonna leave you, Spence,” I murmur. Spencer visibly untenses, but his grip on my arm doesn’t lessen.

           “Could you just stay here a little bit longer?”

           “Sure thing, baby,” I say, prompting Spencer’s lips to pull up into a pleased smile. I crawl back into the bed and lay on my back, and Spencer instantly plasters himself to my side. He hums contentedly as he wraps his arms around me, and I let out a light laugh when I catch him stealing glances at me.

           “What is it, baby?”

           A rosy blush spreads across his cheeks.

           “Can I kiss you?”

           After everything we just did, he still feels the need to ask permission to kiss me. What a sweet boy.

           My answer comes in the form of me pressing my lips to his, and that’s how we stay until he pulls away.

           “I have another question,” he says shyly.

           “Lay it on me, baby.”

           The blush on his cheeks gets significantly more pronounced.

           “It’s just that, uh, you didn’t get to cum again. And I really want you to, because you took such good care of me,” Spencer pauses, and his fingertips lightly graze the inside of my thigh. “C-Could I please eat you out again?” Another pause, and he retracts his hand. “I-It’s okay if not. I understand if you just wanted this to be… a one-time thing. I guess I was just kind of hoping that it w-wouldn’t be. But that’s silly – you were just doing me a favor. I’m sorry I asked.”

           Spencer cringes as he finishes speaking, not even giving me a chance to reply before he’s trying to pull away. I tighten my grip on his arm, and Spencer gives me a weary look.

           “First of all, I don’t think I would ever say no to being eaten out – especially if you’re the one offering. Second, this is definitely not a one off. I have lots of plans for you, pretty boy,” I explain, and the relief that radiates off of Spencer is almost palpable.

           “Thank God,” he sighs, and then he’s scooting down the bed and settling in between my legs.

--

           And if the rest of the team notices the way Spencer starts following me around like a lost puppy - well, they’re all kind enough not to point it out.

[starshipsofstarlord]

Can you do one where the reader is Bonnie’s twin sister and is dating Stefan ?

Salvatore - Stefan Salvatore x Bennet!reader

Masterlist Link

Summary; based on the request

Warnings; making out, slight smut, fingering, swearing, threats, mentions of torture, Bonnie being an adorable protective sister, implied smut

“Shhh.” It surpassed your mouth as a rumble onto your lover’s lips, as yours stretched out into a hushed smile. He too showed an expression of happiness, as he pecked your lips, his hands sliding beneath the material of your top, soothing your back with his calloused and wise hands.

There was a problem rendering you with the necessity of being quiet, it would be a terrible travesty if anyone within the household were to hear you, giggling like a teenage girl (which you were), their Bennet curiosity swiping off their nose and leaping into action as they would surely, and most definitely, take aid to discover what it was that had you amused so.

Their opinion on the immortal men of time, that were transformed into a whole new species by one transfusion of exchanged blood, and a sentence of completed death, was not an optimal nor within preferred context. Vampires had taken so much from the Bennet witches throughout the years, that there was a stifling resentment wedged between the two.

You and Stefan were the exception, the two star crossed lovers entailed in a forbidden romance. He wasn't the enemy, but that did not mean that your sister Bonnie would be pleased with the current partner that you were adjoined by in your relationship. She'd watched Elena fawn over the green eyed charmer, it would be an utter nightmare for her to discover that you were now coiled beneath him on the rectangle of your bed, as he pressed tentative kisses along the length of your neck, smothering you with affection.

It was inevitable that your secret rendezvous would one day be revealed to all, including your sibling, however that wasn't something that you wanted to think about as Stefan's hand crept down, and over your skirt, sliding beneath the flowing material, and up the skin of your thigh. His action extracted a wisp of a gasp out from your mouth, as you pawed at his chest, distinctively staring through silence that you were keen in removing the shirt from his body.

The message was delivered as he reeled it up over his head, exposing his lean and fit body to your eyes. He continued to feather your skin with amorous touches, as he removed your panties by sliding them down your legs, shoving your skirt up so that your intimate skin was bare to his touch. “Stefan....” you whispered his name, as he slowly slid a finger into you. Your eyes fluttered peacefully shut, as his thumb coiled in a circle around your clit, for a moment it was silent, until the door opened.

“Stefan?!” Your sister repeated your words, making you instantly cover up your barren flesh, and your boyfriend to roll off you. There was digress in Bonnie’s eyes, she was severely judging you in your choice of partner, you were well aware of how her mind worked. Her arms became crossed as she rigidly shook her head, Stefan tossed his shirt back over his head, trying to make the predicament that little bit more bearable.

“Bonnie, I can explain...” it was rather obvious what was going on. An explanation wasn’t wanted nor was it needed, everything that was necessary to know was right before her face. The two of you had been caught in the midst prior to sex, which was as awkward as expected, however more so considering your sister remained glaring back and forth between you and the vampire.

“If you’re going to tell me that it’s not what it looks like, I’m calling bull on that.” She stated in an unimpressed manner. “This also means that you invited him in.” Her and Stefan didn’t hate each other, their kinds had simply been used as pawns against one another for far too long, and she hated to see you, her twin, in a cycle with a vampire, especially a Salvatore.

She had a feeling you were seeing someone, call it a fraternal thing. Though out of the entire town, it had to be one of those brothers, the brooding and dangerous siblings that survived by drinking blood and often compelled people close to them to admin their whims. “You have too much trust in people y/n.” She sighed, and she wasn’t entirely incorrect with all things considered.

“But he’s the right person to trust.” You tried to reason with her, but after all the pain that he had put the Bennet family through, it was difficult, and logically so, to believe your words. “Come on Bon.”

“No. I can hardly believe you, you went behind my back to see him, out of all people.” She spoke angrily, her tone wavering with hurt. Stefan took that as the moment that he was meant to intrude, he stood, walking towards your sister, a small and kind smile upon his face.

He appreciated her instinct to protect you, but you weren’t as naive as she thought you to be. It had taken him multiple accounts to even sway you into even agreeing going on a date with him, though he realised that all those rejections had been worth the price of pain, because he had grown significantly upon you.

“I love your sister.” The vampire informed the witch, glancing over at you with a newfound smile on his frozen in age face. Your eyes widened, the two of you had yet to exchange such words, though rather than interrupting by saying them back, you allowed him to continue speaking, despite Bonnie’s light scoff. “I know you don’t like it, but can’t you accept that she’s happy, don’t you want your sister to be happy? That’s why I’m fine my brother is with my ex, I care about his happiness above all.”

“I’m not giving you my blessing.” Her chest heaved at her statement, she was far too protective to give anyone the pass of go ahead at you. “If you hurt her, I will pierce a stake straight through your heart, though I’ll make sure you suffer first. This is not a forgiveness Stefan, as you said, every sibling wants theirs own to be happy, but if I see one tear that you are responsible for, you’ll be praying to god.”

“That is understandable.” Stefan nodded his head, Bonnie sent him one last furrow of her brows before leaving and closing the door, slipping in a few words about keeping the volume down whilst doing so. “Now where we?” He licked his lips after his enquiry, as he crawled onto the bed, and cupped your face, leaning his own down closer to your own.

“In the midst of me saying that I love you back, and that I would take not doubt my sister in the slightest Salvatore, she’ll kick your ass if you hurt me; and so will I.” He kissed you, bringing your hand up to his heart, as he stared his emerald pools into your y/e/c galaxies.

“That’s not a part of my plan.” He promised, only to suffocate your attempted response with his lips once more. You were vastly aware that you had to tone down your noise, to keep Bonnie calm. You could practically feel her stare at the wall in the living room, although you were clearly in your own room. “I plan to spend forever with you.”

“That is a complicated subject, let’s not get to that conversation just yet. I’d rather spend time with your cold body than your even paler and motionless one, Bonnie will kill you if she hears whispers of that possibility.” To sway away from the idea of being like him, you pushed the duvet away from your bottom half. “How about you spend forever between my legs, and then we’ll get back to that.”

[tyonfs]

i like me better (when i’m with you)

PAIRING ▸ jeong jaehyun x fem!reader 

GENRES ▸ friends to enemies to lovers, college au, sports, friends with benefits, smut, crack, fluff 

WARNINGS ▸ sexual !! tension !! lots of it, smut (public sex, fingering, hate sex, raw sex, pool sex, oral sex), mark lee cockblocking, also yes, there’s actual fluff

SUMMARY ▸ there was no one else on the planet that made your blood boil like jeong jaehyun did. you never thought your feelings toward him were anything past pure hatred, but when you were lost in the feeling of his lips on yours and his hands on your body, you couldn’t help but think that maybe a part of you didn’t completely hate his guts. 

PLAYLIST ▸ i like me better by lauv • unravel me by sabrina claudio

WORD COUNT ▸ 11896 words

TAG LIST ▸ @gotoartistprofile @chanluster​ @steamyjaehyun

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ big shoutout to fia for hyping me up to complete this and i hope you guys enjoy it !! thank you so much for reading ♡ part of the dunk shot! series but can be read separately!

SOMETIMES, THE AMOUNT OF HATRED YOU HAD FOR JEONG JAEHYUN AMAZED YOU.

To the average human being, Jeong Jaehyun was, in a sense, perfect. On the surface, he was everyone’s trademark Golden Boy—good grades, athletic, and a seemingly good personality. The last point, however, was a complete and utter lie. Simply put, Jaehyun was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and you, unfortunately, wound up becoming his target.

If it weren’t for your love for cheerleading, you probably would never have to see Jaehyun, but your passion came with a price. Competitors were often asked a series of questions, and these questions typically included inquiring about your hardships as an athlete. If someone were to ask you what the hardest part of being a cheerleader was, your answer would not be what they expected.

It wasn’t getting back up after bad falls that left you with bruises and a concussion. It wasn’t dealing with the basketball team’s aftermath of a devastating loss and having to cheer them on through it. It wasn’t waking up extra early for morning practices, or having to push yourself to run miles in the sweltering heat. Hell, it wasn’t even dealing with the horny basketball team members at afterparties.

It was the annual training camp.

Every winter, the team attended a week-long training session along with several other teams in the city. With state-of-the-art facilities and a massive training center, the training camp was an event that the entire team looked forward to. Although the training was brutal, the luxury of the hotel rooms and the gourmet meals had made up for all of that. Yet, despite all of that, the camp itself was still hell for you.

It wasn’t all bad, though. In fact, you indulged in the concept of a training camp, delighted with the opportunity to meet cheerleaders from different universities. A handful of your friends from high school had joined teams at different universities, so it was exciting to get to see them all again. All in all, it was the whole package deal: friends, your favorite sport, and fun times. What could possibly ruin that?

Well, a certain someone by the name of Jeong Jaehyun could, and that wonderful individual incensed your fury quite like no other.

“You again,” you spat, clutching your duffel bag strap. You had just gotten off the bus to head into the hotel, but the devil himself was blocking your way.

“Y/N,” the devil cooed, “do you need help carrying that?”

“I’m fine.”

You shrugged Jaehyun off and tried to move past him, but the bane of your existence had other plans. He tossed you a small carton of milk; it was the kind you could buy at a vending machine. Your reflexes kicked in just in time for you to catch it, giving him a questioning look.

“You should be drinking more milk, Y/N. It’s good for you,” Jaehyun said. You were sure he was going to make a snide comment so you opened your mouth to protest, but he continued, “Jaemin likes big tits, you know?”

Ouch.

You and Jaehyun went farther back than you’d like to admit. While you did currently attend different universities, you had the joyous experience of going to the same high school as him. He wasn’t too different now; he had the same dimpled smile, the same godly features, and the same cocky smirk when things were going the way he planned. What was different was that you two were once friends.

And what took the cake? You had a big crush on his friend and fellow teammate. Introducing Na Jaemin, everyone.

It wasn’t like you never got over Jaemin, but you had to admit that your heart still fluttered pitifully whenever you saw him. It didn’t help that he was so breathtakingly beautiful, so undeniably genuine, and such a sweetheart. Unfortunately, Jaehyun knew of your little secret. Being the conniving little snake he was, he used it to his advantage.

Ever since your fallout with him in your senior year of high school, you’ve hated Jeong Jaehyun, and you were sure he hated you right back. It almost felt akin to the competition at this point, and you were a pretty sore loser. Honestly, you were sad initially when he broke off your friendship in senior year and threw crude insults at you. You normally didn’t let things get to you, but it hurt to hear that your best friend didn’t want anything to do with you after you had told him you were going to a different university. You were sure the both of you had grown past that, but now he had changed from a sincere highschooler to a complete low-life piece of shit.

“You’re a douche, Jaehyun,” you sneered.

A grin spread across his face. “Yeah, I know.”

You scoffed. “God, if I could, I would smash that pretty face into—”

“Hey!” a loud voice laced with trepidation interjected. It was your best friend on your school’s basketball team, Mark Lee, coming to your rescue; or, rather, he was trying to prevent you from doing something you’d most probably regret. He shot Jaehyun a warning look and slung an arm around your shoulders. “Y/N, what’re you doing here? We have to check into our hotel rooms.”

You looked back at Jaehyun to see a smug look on his face before he turned to catch up to Taeyong and Jaemin. You looked back up at Mark, who was also keeping an eye out for the demon in disguise.

“Thanks for getting me out of that mess,” you mumbled. “That guy is so infuriating. I can’t believe he still brings up Jaemin when I’m clearly over him!”

Your words were sharp enough that Mark and the people around you flinched, even if they weren’t completely paying attention to your rant. It was common knowledge that Jaehyun’s presence left you in low spirits, and Mark had come to terms that you would always be in a bitter mood during the training camp, and that there was only one person to blame for it.

Mark shot you a sympathetic look that you knew was intended to show his helpfulness, but instead just served to make you appear all the more bitter.

“Why don’t you just ignore him?” he suggested. “He’s just looking for a reaction out of you.”

“If I let him get the last word, then he wins.”

“At least he’d stop bothering you,” Mark reasoned as you both made your way to where your team had gathered by the reception desk.

“Is this about Jaehyun again?” Zhong Chenle chimed in, a devilish grin plastered across his face. “You’re a handful, Y/N.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” you snapped.

Chenle just stared at you, arching a brow as if the answer should have been obvious. “You and Jaehyun,” he said, “there’s some tension there.”

“Wow, Sherlock Holmes. Observant, aren’t you?” you spat, words dripping with sarcasm. “We’ve hated each other for years. Of course there’s tension.”

Johnny Suh snorted, averting his gaze as to not bring attention to himself. Chenle rolled his eyes, a delighted smile on his face as he watched you carefully, digging into his bag of chips in the meantime.

“Y/N, I think he means a different kind of tension,” Mark said.

“What kind of tension?” you asked, shocking the rest of them with your surprisingly innocent response. In retrospect, it was more because you couldn’t imagine the answer being anything past the realm of hatred.

While they all hesitated to respond, Johnny spoke up, “He meant the ‘I wanna beat you up and then have rough sex with you’ kind of tension.”

You immediately froze—long enough for Chenle to take a picture of your reaction—the expression on your face a cross between incredulity and visceral rage. You must have looked like a ticking time bomb because Mark had to take a cautious step back.

“Come again? Rough sex?” You were well aware of how strangled and pitched your voice sounded as soon as it escaped your lips, how guilty it sounded, but you couldn’t focus on that as the weight of Johnny’s words were sinking in. “Jaehyun and I?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Johnny answered.

“That’s a lie.”

“Yeah? Then why do you two always look at each other so weird?”

You didn’t know how to defend yourself now so you just said, “He’s a bastard and I would never see him in any other way.”

“You say that now but we all know—”

“Alright, let’s drop it,” Mark said, trying to defuse the situation before you blew it up into an argument. “I would rather go rest in my hotel room rather than bear witness to a homicide.”

“Fine, fine,” Johnny relented.

You scoffed and jabbed at his foot with yours before letting the topic go. Your squabbles with them were all in good nature, but this one somehow put you off. It was like Johnny had planted the seeds and were waiting for them to grow. You were starting to mull over every interaction you’ve had with Jeong Jaehyun.

Johnny and Chenle had made a startlingly accurate observation. You and Jaehyun did look at each other for a little too long sometimes, nearly to the point where it seemed like you were basking in the attention of the other—

No fucking way.

You were not going down that path. There was nothing more to your relationship with Jeong Jaehyun than pure hatred and resentment. He was a douchebag who was intent on making you feel like shit. His only motive was to start shit again between you and Jaemin, who you would’ve completely forgotten by now if it weren’t for him.

No way. There was absolutely no undercurrent of desire that was creeping its way to be uncovered.

Or was there? a small, treacherous part of your mind offered.

You were lost in your thoughts as the coaches handed you your room key, as you waited for your roommate who was some girl named Eunha from the other school, as you made your way to your room on the fifth floor.

The only thing you could think about were those long stares, those mesmerizing eyes, and the implication behind them. You always attributed it to Jaehyun being a hormonal teenage boy, but you had to admit that you’ve seen him look at you with some semblance of lust. Perhaps that same feeling was buried far in the depths of your consciousness, too.

Could you possibly be attracted to the devil incarnate, Jeong Jaehyun?

No, you argued with yourself, and shit, even your frontal lobe sounded pretty unconvinced. He’s a petty bastard and that’s all he’ll ever be.

You instilled the mantra of you and Jaehyun being sworn enemies in your head, but you couldn’t help the fact that it was peppered by the memories of an irritatingly familiar smirk. You scowled, willing your head to get rid of all-things-Jeong-Jaehyun, but he was right there.

Literally.

He was standing right in front of you.

“Hey, neighbor,” he teased, all too satisfied with the horrified look on your face. “Guess you can’t get rid of me.”

You were falling when you jolted awake.

A groan tore its way past your lips. You made sure you didn’t disrupt Eunha’s sleep before you recounted your dream. It had been a while since you’ve had one, and realization was morphing into shame when you realized what kind of dream it was. You’ve never had a wet dream before but what made you want to astral project yourself into oblivion was when you realized that Jaehyun caused it.

After tossing and turning for a couple of minutes in a desperate attempt for sleep to overcome you once more, you came to terms with the fact that you were staying awake for now. Staying awake was worse, though, because there was no way you could keep the intruding thoughts at bay. Not with the way Jeong Jaehyun kept flashing behind your eyelids, at least.

You considered how to spend the rest of your night, surveying your options as you stared up at the ceiling:

Watch season three of Riverdale on Netflix so you could make fun of it.

Attempt to sleep, but with little success because there was no way you were going back to bed after that dream.

Count the slacks of the window’s blinds even though it would be pointless because what the fuck were you going to do with that information?

It was truly astounding how interesting your life was.

You couldn’t think clearly with Eunha’s soft snoring, so you grabbed your keys and pushed the door open carefully to keep it from squealing. After your delicate movements to escape your room quietly, you leaned against the wall and let out a sigh of relief. You weren’t too keen on someone scolding you in the middle of the night for being outside, but you needed to clear your head somewhere. You packed for weather that was balmy, but the air conditioner carried a bite to it that made you wish you hadn’t just worn shorts and a tank top to bed.

You could practically hear Mark mocking you if he were here: Are you in the right headspace, Y/N?

You shook your head, getting your provoking best friend out of there, but instead, you found yourself wandering into dangerous territory again.

Johnny and Chenle were parroting the same words over and over again in your head. You wished you could use your metaphysical hands in your head and squeeze the life out of them, but they always flew out of your grasp. You clicked your tongue absentmindedly, your annoyance rehashing itself as your mind gravitated back to Jeong Jaehyun with his stupid smirk and annoyingly persistent cockiness. It was almost pitiful that you hated his guts and yet you couldn’t deny the magnetism he carried, the pull that made your breath hitch when he met your eyes.

His presence was announced by the change in the air more than anything else. You didn’t have to see him to know he was there. You clenched your jaw; you couldn’t catch a break from him even during the ungodly hours of the night.

He was unavoidable.

He hummed with amusement. “Look who’s here.”

“What are you doing up this late? Go to bed.”

You didn’t even bother to look at him because there was one thing you were sure of and it was that you could not look at his sickeningly attractive face right now. Jaehyun didn’t move, blatantly ignoring your order. The tension was so thick that you wanted to storm away, but you knew he would follow you just to piss you off.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said. “You should be the one resting up. You cheerleaders always train until you’re near death.”

“Can’t sleep,” was your curt response.

He laughed once, a short sound that was pretty much gone the moment it hit your eardrums. “What? You get nightmares or something?”

“So what if I do?” you retaliated, getting oddly defensive. It was a given that you’d lie about getting a nightmare over a wet dream. “It’s none of your business.”

He laughed again but this time it was lower, more dangerous. “It’s my business when it concerns you.”

“I have and will never be your business, Jeong Jaehyun.”

He leaned against the wall. “I beg to differ.”

“Then keep begging.”

“If you say so.”

“Jaehyun,” you interrupted your own banter. “What’s the point of this conversation? Just go back to your room so we can go back to not talking to each other.”

“I’m good, thanks.”

“That’s unfortunate,” you said. “I don’t want to talk to you, so go find someone who does.”

“We don’t have to talk.” Suddenly, his voice sounded closer, and you forced your gaze down at the strangely-patterned hotel carpet.

You swallowed thickly. “I’m here to clear my head. I don’t want you to hover around me for the rest of the night.”

“Actually, I had something else in mind.”

He closed in on you, one of his hands skimming up the soft skin of your arm. A shudder ran down your spine as you felt his fingers travel up to your shoulder, your collarbone, and then the side of your neck. With a swift movement, he caged you in his arms, biceps flexing as he did.

What was going on? You couldn’t quite keep up with the situation but the way Jaehyun was looking down at you made you feel hot. It was exactly like your dream—

“Holy fuck, Jaehyun.”

You couldn’t stop the words from escaping your lips when you felt his hot breath on your neck. Your head went fuzzy and you were pretty sure your knees were ready to buckle under you. The corner of Jaehyun’s lip lifted into a smirk as if he had been planning this. You mustered a scowl at him but one thing was clear: you screwed yourself over by getting into this situation.

Damn it. You knew you should’ve watched season three of Riverdale instead

Also, Chenle and Johnny were right. Not that you’d ever tell them that; put simply, you were a sore loser.

Lust was swimming in Jaehyun’s eyes. The way he caged you felt predatory, a show of dominance rather than passion. That smirk of his carved in deeper, and it only pissed you off. Yet, as much as it pissed you off, all you wanted him to do was just ruin you.

Your pride was too strong, though, and you concluded that you would rather stick a fork in your eye than let Jaehyun do what he wanted. This sparked a dilemma in your head: to fuck or not to fuck Jaehyun, that was the question. One sounded like a pretty uneventful night, while the other sounded appealing save for the self-loathing you’d experience afterward.

“You want me, Y/N,” he cooed. “I know you do.”

“I hate you.”

“Trust me, I know.”

“I mean it, Jaehyun,” you hissed. Your head was screaming at you to just go with it, but denying Jaehyun’s advances and provokes was just natural instinct to you. “I don’t want you. Stop lying to yourself.”

“Is that so? I think you’re the liar here,” he replied easily as you dodged his attempt to kiss you.

You pushed at his muscular arm but he didn’t budge. For a moment, you strongly considered just dropping to the ground and crawling out from under his legs, but you were done for. Seconds later, Jaehyun’s hand flew up, long fingers digging into the soft flesh of your face as he forced your chin upward to look at him directly. The lust in his eyes was so clear, so alluring, and it made you stop struggling for a second.

“I’m not going to ask you again. Let go of me.”

“Good, it’s a waste of breath.”

“Has anyone ever told you how infuriating you are?”

“You did. Many times.”

“Just fuck off already.”

Your words were like poison, but for some odd reason, Jaehyun was immune to it. Any reasonable person would at least flinch, but Jaehyun was so fixated on his one goal. Again, he didn’t budge. He gazed into your eyes with a fierce intensity that threw you off.

“Just let me fucking kiss you, Y/N.”

His smirk was gone. He wasn’t teasing you anymore. Jaehyun’s eyes darkened with his command.

He leaned in and you could feel his hot breath fanning your lips, drinking in your appearance. You were pulled into his trap and you hated yourself for it. You swallowed hard as all of your worries about being with Jaehyun and getting caught had started to fade away. All you could do was yield to him.

“Fine,” you whispered.

“Good girl,” was all he got out before basically smashing your lips together.

It was rushed, messy, and way too rough. Jaehyun grabbed the back of your neck, his other arm still locking you in place. Your hands moved from gripping at the front of his shirt to slowly wrapping around his neck. You weren’t sure how you felt, but there was something that made you want to tangle your fingers in his hair and get lost in him.

The moment Jaehyun’s tongue slid along the crease of your lips, you were conflicted. You weren’t exactly sure what to do so he took the reins. You wondered if he was expressing his pent-up hatred as well. It was clear in the way he was taking prying your mouth open with his tongue, snaking his hot muscle to dance with yours as if he had something to prove. He wanted you to see that he was the dominant one, that he had leverage over the situation.

But when he broke away, he flipped the switch. The both of you were left catching your breath, Jaehyun resting his forehead against yours in a feeling that had a weird sort of intimacy stemming from it. His hand dropped from your neck to brush messy locks of hair behind your shoulders.

Well, that explained why humans were so tempted by the devil.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Jaehyun grinned down at you.

You fought down the shyness that was creeping into your chest. Before you could respond, the both of you turned your heads at the sound of footsteps. A flashlight glimpsed by you when you saw two dark figures at the end of the hall. It didn’t sound like your coach, but you weren’t too keen on sticking around to figure out who it was.

“Son, how in the world did you get locked out of your room this late?” one of them asked.

“I’m telling you, I needed to use the bathroom so I went outside without my key, and then I remembered the bathroom was in the room.”

That voice was most definitely Mark.

“Hey!” the security guard scolded when he saw you two. “What are you kids doing? It’s late!”

“You’re on your own.” You pushed Jaehyun away from you and fumbled for your keys before Mark or the security guard could spot you. “Bye.”

You jammed your key in, not worried about waking up your roommate anymore. All you could hear was Jaehyun growling out a short string of curses before you shut the door behind him and leaned against it. Your head was still reeling in what had just happened, but that kiss had left you in the clouds. You could feel the ghost of his lips on yours. Dazed, you just fell onto your bed, into the entrancing clutches of sleep.

You were exhausted when you woke up, and you blamed Jaehyun for it.

You weren’t in the proper condition for training; you hadn’t gotten enough sleep and your head was a mess (well, you supposed you were the only one to blame for the latter). You forgot to set your alarm so you woke up to Eunha shaking you gently, coaxing you into stirring. She was already dressed, tying her hair up in a ponytail. You all but jumped out of bed when you saw her, thinking you were late.

“What time is it?” you asked groggily, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you stood up and tried to adjust to the morning light.

“You’ve still got plenty of time,” she assured you. “I just like to get ready early so I can go for a quick run.”

“Ah, okay. Have fun,” you mumbled before she left the room, leaving you to drag yourself around the room to get ready. You heard a knock at the door and went to open it, assuming it was Eunha forgetting her keys. Your eyes narrowed when you saw who it was. “Jaehyun?”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” His voice was somewhere between a pant and a rasp as if he had been working out, which he probably was judging by the sheen of sweat on his biceps.

“Were you waiting for Eunha to leave?” you asked. “You’re disgusting. Why would you think about me?”

“I was thinking about how much of a bitch you are for running away and letting me get in trouble like that.”

“Pity.” You mocked a pout for him. “Now move. I have to get ready.”

“Let me in.”

You made a face at the thought. You knew where he was going with this and you needed to stop it. “No. You’re disgusting.”

“You liked it last night.”

His eyes searched yours in the dim light, looking for something that unfortunately was there: longing. You were never the greatest at hiding your emotions, which was why you couldn’t lie to yourself and refuse Jaehyun. Screw your transparency. Jaehyun grinned at your silence and took a step in your room when you opened your door wider for him.

You closed the door. “I hated every second of it,” you said in a childish attempt to get on his nerves.

You were a terrible liar.

Your back was against the door in a second. You could only let out a soft gasp before he kissed you, hands on your waist, slowing his movements unlike the hurriedness from last night. It was foreign, the way he kissed you like you were the only girl he saw. You pulled away quickly but it just left the both of you staring at each other’s lips.

“You sure about that?” His lips curled into a smirk.

“Don’t get me wrong,” you warned in a low voice, “I still hate your guts.”

“As I’m reminded of every single time I see you,” he returned coolly.

“Fuck off.”

This time, you pulled him down to kiss him again. You fisted your hand into his hair, tugging at his dark locks as your lips moved smoothly against his. Caught off guard, Jaehyun groaned, low and deep against your lips.

The two of you separated again before Jaehyun said, “See? I know you want me. Only I can make you feel this good, Y/N.”

You scoffed. “We’ll see about that.”

Jaehyun’s eyes darkened at the challenge. To prove his point, he pushed his knee up and between your legs, pressing against your clothed cunt. A gasp escaped your lips, the fingers curled in his hair instinctively tightening. You bit your lip but to no avail; a whimper escaped your lips as soon as he started pulsing his knee against you. You grabbed onto his shoulders for leverage, burying your face into his chest while bunching up the thin fabric of his shirt.

You wanted to hold back your moans because you were adamant about not giving Jeong Jaehyun the satisfaction of hearing you moan. Instead, you shifted your hips so that the pressure of his knee became more intense. Sparks flew behind your eyelids as he bounced his knee under you.

He finally released the tight grip he had on your waist in favor of palming one of your breasts, squeezing it firmly through your shirt and bra. All the while, he continued ramming his knee against the apex of your legs. He kept his eyes on yours and you scowled at the thought of him getting off on seeing you crumble in front of him. But you couldn’t stop yourself. He wanted to completely and utterly ruin you, wanted to fuck you in and shut you up.

The worst part was that you wanted to let him.

“You’re so cute when you’re like this,” he mused, slowly rubbing his knee in circles against you. “God, you’re still wearing that fucking tank top.”

“You’re such a—ah!”

He groped your chest again, thumb pressing down on your nipple. Another whimper escaped you as Jaehyun grazed his lips down your neck, nipping at the supple skin. You only got louder as the kisses turned into bites.

He ignored you and removed his hand. Instead, he tugged the neckline of your tank top down, delighted at the loose straps sliding down your shoulders. He yanked it down to your waist so you were exposed to him, and you swore you heard his breath hitch. Jaehyun pinched your nipple with two fingers, drawing out a moan that drove him crazy. He buried his face into your neck, sucking and making you quiver under him.

“Didn’t you say I had small tits earlier?” you jeered, a teasing lilt to your tone.

“Yeah, I still stand by that,” he replied, resulting in you punching his shoulder.

“Asshole.”

“Hey, I never said it wasn’t cute.”

“You’re such a softie,” you grumbled, but your voice was gentler than before. It was almost like you were warming up to Jeong Jaehyun, and you hated the mere thought of that.

Jaehyun pulled away from your neck. “Y/N, I want you to suck me off,” he demanded.

“I refuse.”

“Be a good girl and do it for me.”

You swore you’d go crazy if he called you ‘good girl’ one more time. You were pretty revolted at the thought of sucking his dick, but the way he looked so fragile under your hold made you want to do it for the power rush. It was like some cheap porno in a way; ‘College Jock Gets Sucked Off By Cheerleader.’ You bet half the members on the team beat their meat to something similar to that.

Your shoulders sagged. “Fine. Get on the bed.”

Jaehyun groaned at your approval. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he said, letting go of you to pull down his sweats on his way to your bed. He sat at the edge of it, tugging the elastic of his boxers down. You swallowed hard, tugging your tank top back up as you stared at his painfully hard erection springing out.

You got on your knees in front of him, lips parted in anticipation of taking in his length. Your hair fell over your face, which Jaehyun took notice of and held it back in a fist. Taking a deep breath, you wrapped your hand around his cock. It was rock solid to the touch and twitched at your grip. Glancing up at an eager Jaehyun, you pumped the length of it once, inciting a groan from him.

You wrapped your lips around the head of his cock, rousing a strangled noise from his throat. He looked down at you through half-lidded eyes, messy strands of your hair tangling in his fingers while his other hand was gripping the stiff hotel sheets. Then, you took him in fully at his encouragement (which was more of him just grabbing the back of your head and pushing it down on his cock).

“Shit,” he breathed out before slowly moving his hips in and out of your mouth. It was like iron wrapped around velvet, and he was relishing how hot your mouth felt.

He pushed your head down further and right as you gagged on his length, there was a knock at the door.

“Y/N!” Mark’s voice sounded from the other side. “Are you coming for breakfast?”

You pulled off of him with a pop, a string of saliva dripping off your lips. Your eyes were wide as you lunged for your phone, checking the texts. Meanwhile, Jaehyun just frowned down at you, looking up at the ceiling with a frustrated sigh.

“Holy fuck,” you muttered when you looked at the time. You called out to Mark, “Give me a minute!”

“Perfect,” Jaehyun said in a low voice and held the back of your head, attempting to push you down on him. “We can finish up now.”

“Are you an idiot?” you hissed, swatting at his hand. “I have to get out of here before Mark finds out you’re in here.”

Ignoring your state of panic, Jaehyun said, “You look so hot with drool on your chin.”

That was the most disgusting thing you had ever heard, and if it weren’t for Mark being on the other side of the door where you and Jaehyun were screwing around, you would have beat the living daylights out of him. Only a creep like Jeong Jaehyun could find something like drool sexy. You scowled at him and wiped it off with the back of your hand.

“Put your dick away,” you scolded. “Hide in the closet and you can leave when I’m gone.”

He rolled his eyes at you and stood up, making his way to the bathroom. “I need to get rid of the problem you caused.”

You had no time to complain about him jerking off in your bathroom. Mark was not a very patient man, so as soon as Jaehyun closed the door behind him, you stripped off your pajamas and threw on whatever was at the top of your suitcase. You brushed your teeth at the speed of light, using your other hand to brush down your hair. After you laced up your shoes, you opened the door to Mark looking at you suspiciously.

“You’re never late,” he pointed out.

“I couldn’t sleep last night,” you said. In your defense, it wasn’t a complete lie.

“Oh, by the way,” Mark started, “can I use your bathroom real quick?”

“No!” you exclaimed, pushing him away from your room and in the direction of the elevator. “My roommate, um, is… on her period—yeah, you don’t want to see that mess.”

Another reason why you hated Jeong Jaehyun was for giving you reasons to lie when you were a terrible liar.

Training was long and grueling. Your bones were mush and your muscles ached, pins and needles shooting through you every time you moved. As your teammates dragged you to get dinner with them, you couldn’t even resist because you were so drained.

The one thing you loved about training was that you could wear whatever you wanted, whereas you were confined to tight skirts and crop tops at your university. Now, you could rest in whatever position you wanted without worrying about exposing anything, so you didn’t hesitate to manspread as soon as you got to the cafeteria table.

“Did you guys hear about Jaehyun from the other school?” one of the girls gossiped. “Looks like he was fooling around with someone last night.”

You were grounded back into reality from whatever dimension you were floating about in. Your teammates were perplexed as you choked on air, hitting your chest to stop yourself from coughing. You were handed a glass of water, which you gingerly accepted and drank until your body had calmed down.

“Ah, sorry, Y/N,” your teammate apologized. “I forgot you and Jaehyun have bad blood between you.”

“You’re good,” you told her, waving it off. “I was surprised for a second, but I guess it makes sense for a guy like him to go around hooking up.” Then, silence fell. You were confused as they all looked at you with a puzzled look. “What? Am I stereotyping too harshly? My bad.”

“No, it’s not that,” another chimed in. “A lot of girls go around hitting on him, but Jaehyun never lays a hand on them. I thought it was common knowledge that he doesn’t do that sort of stuff, but I guess it makes sense that you don’t care about the details.”

That was news to you.

“Yeah,” you replied distantly. “I don’t care.”

So Jaehyun doesn’t hook up, was what you happened to hear around the grapevine, and he most definitely doesn’t hook up with his enemies.

You stood up in the middle of your dinner. “I gotta go,” you said. “I’ll see you girls tomorrow.”

You actually weren’t very sure where Jaehyun was, but you figured if you walked around enough, you’d run into him or someone from his team. You headed out of the canteen and walked to the basketball courts, expecting to see him dribbling a bar or doing reps. But the first person you saw was Na Jaemin, and he noticed you immediately, eyes sparkling with recognition.

“Y/N!” he greeted cheerfully. “It’s been so long.”

That infectious smile of his was plastered across his face, making a small one creep to your lips. If Jaehyun smiled like that more, then you could understand his charm, but he was always so moody around you. He either did something to get on your nerves or he would just flat-out ignore you. Furthermore, he always riled you up instead of offering you that warm security that Jaemin emanated—

Wait, why were you comparing him to Jaehyun?

“Sorry,” you apologized meekly. “Am I interrupting your practice time?”

“No, it’s cool. We were just messing around in here,” Jaemin replied. “Are you looking for someone?”

You looked into Jaemin’s eyes and your thoughts slowed. He made you feel safe, warm, but that was all; there was no fire, no rage, no heat. It was just a shallow attraction that fizzled out, leaving you neither satisfied nor dissatisfied. And you clawed at your brain as you wondered what you were getting at, but you knew. You knew it was all going back to Jaehyun.

And it pissed you off.

“I was looking for Jaehyun,” you said, “if he happened to be in here.”

“He told me he was going for a swim,” Jaemin said, and that was all you needed.

Before Jaemin could respond, you thanked him and turned on your heel. The pool was in a separate building, and there was no training that even required swimming, so it made no sense for Jaehyun to be there. You let out a frustrated sigh. Even when he wasn’t doing anything in particular to annoy you, it still managed to anger you.

You weren’t going to let Jaehyun do what he wanted this time. This was merely for interrogation—your own personal gain. Then, you thought it over some more, and you reasonably concluded that there was a 97.5% chance that you would not lay a finger on him, but there was a 2.5% chance you’d cave.

When you got to the facility where the pool was, you were entranced by the renovation at first. The pool was massive and the equipment was lined up so neatly along the walls. You peered through the glass to see the pool completely empty save for Jaehyun in the hot tub.

He met your eyes while you opened the door to the pool. His eyebrow arched at your entrance but a smirk settled on his lips as you neared him. You tried to push down your lust; you were not letting him get to you again. You crouched down by the side of the pool and Jaehyun moved so he was facing you, holding onto the edge of the hot tub.

“What brings you here?’ he asked, playfully flicking some water in your direction.

You flinched and scrunched up your nose at his action. “I heard you don’t do hookups.”

“You heard correctly.”

“So what am I?”

“You’re Y/N.”

You were a coward. Admittedly, you had probably always been running away from your own problems, deflecting your feelings with unbridled hate that had no direction, no meaning. Underneath your blunt and fiery front was pure cowardice. Even now, you refused to admit anything to yourself.

You didn’t want to accept that maybe you actually liked Jeong Jaehyun.

Maybe you’ve always liked him.

“Don’t be stupid, Jaehyun,” you grumbled. “You’ve always hated me.”

“I think you just want to believe I hate you. Is that how you suppress your feelings?”

“How long have you liked me for, then? Days?”

“Years.”

You paused for a moment as you recounted your interactions with Jaehyun. It was true that he never explicitly said he hated you and that you always started the arguments, but he was the one who broke off your friendship. Why would he do that if he didn’t hate you?

“You said you wanted nothing to do with me, Jaehyun,” you said in a smaller voice, fist balling at your side.

“You were going to a different university.” He ran a hand through his damp hair, and although you were angry, it was difficult not to enjoy the view. “Plus, you just kept going on and on about Jaemin, and I couldn’t even shut that mouth of yours up back then.”

“So you cut me off?”

“I felt like I was being petty, so I tried to apologize but you blocked my number and wouldn’t let me come near you,” Jaehyun deadpanned. He reached forward and grabbed your wrists, pulling you closer to him. You teetered on the balls of your feet, swallowing hard. “Forgive me?”

“No.”

Jaehyun rose up a little so he was eye-to-eye with you. He smiled at your flustered expression and cupped your cheek with his wet hand. Every muscle in your body was telling you to pull away but you couldn’t. Not when his lips were so close, when his eyes were boring into yours.

“Forgive me,” he repeated in a gentler tone, but it became more of an order than a question.

“Make me,” you whispered and Jaehyun groaned, somewhat helplessly.

“You’re going to be the death of me, I swear.”

You opened your mouth to say something more, but you couldn’t even form your words as Jaehyun yanked you forward and sealed your lips with a kiss. Before, you had the sense to try and push him away, but now you were held captive. He slid his tongue past your lips and you let out an appreciative whimper, hand sliding into his wet hair. You tugged at his hair and this time, Jaehyun was the one to react.

He pulled away for a moment to catch his breath, eyes clouding over with lust. “Get in with me,” he said, voice rumbling. You shivered as he dragged his lips down to your jaw; you could feel his voice reverberate down your spine and to your feet.

“What if someone walks in?” you asked in a daze.

“There’s no use for the swim facility, so no one’s going to walk in on us,” he persuaded. “Come in.”

Water dripped from his neck, landing on your thigh. You took in a sharp breath as his hand tugged at your waist. While the pleading look on his face was priceless, you couldn’t even ridicule him because you were at your limit, too. You let out an irritated sigh when you realized you gave into that 2.5% of you caving.

You responded by pulling off your shirt, tossing it to the side where Jaehyun had left his shoes and towel. Jaehyun watched you as you fiddled with the clamp of your bra. Meanwhile, his hands went to the waistband of your sweats, making you shudder as he tugged them down at the sides. You raised your hips to help him get them off and, after removing your bra, you were only left in your underwear to protect you from his hungry gaze.

You weren’t the type to hook up with guys. Hell, you weren’t the type to even show a guy your ankle if he asked. You thought you’d feel insecure with Jaehyun eyeing you in your full glory, but there was none of that. You wanted to know why it was so different with him but maybe it was the way he looked at you like he just wanted to kiss you. Or maybe a tiny part of your heart always belonged to Jaehyun, and you couldn’t bury it anymore.

“You’re so gorgeous.”

He mumbled the words, barely audible, but they set you on fire. He pulled you down onto his lap like you were his anchor, and you were afraid you’d get swept with the current, but you let him. You’ve only ever kissed a few guys before, so you really had no idea what the fuck you were getting into. All you were sure about was that Jaehyun could make you feel good and you were having your first time in a hot tub. You only prayed that you wouldn’t pass out from the pleasure combined with the heat of the water.

“Is this your first time?” he asked, gliding his hands down your sides. You nodded. “Then I’ll be gentle.” Truly, you did find his gesture rather sweet, but it didn’t stop you from rolling your eyes. Jaheyun saw and narrowed his brows. “I don’t hate you, but you really piss me off sometimes.”

He kissed you again. It was more passionate this time, but also harsher and messier. You let out a sound that was something between a yelp and a moan, making Jaehyun move his hands to run down your bare back. Then, he planted his thumb on your clit and pressed down in a way that made a muscle in your thigh twitch. Your grip on his shoulders tightened; you weren’t expecting that. It felt different in the water, but somehow, you couldn’t get enough of it.

“You’re wet,” he mumbled against your lips as his fingers found purchase on your slit.

“We’re in the water, you idiot.”

Jaehyun scoffed. “You know what, Y/N, you’re right, I did hate you,” he spat, rubbing small circles around your clit now. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders to steady yourself, whimpering as his movements grew more intense. “I fucking hated how you looked at Jaemin with those love-struck eyes.”

There was a shift in his usual cocky expression. He turned focused and, to a degree, angry. It was the kind of look on his face you saw when he was on the basketball court or during a game.

“You’re the one who told me to go after him.”

Wrong choice of words. Jaehyun lifted you up and placed you on the edge of the pool, pushing a finger inside you with no warning. You gasped, your mouth open to ask him why he took you out of the water, but you already knew the answer; he wanted to feel you completely.

“R-right there,” you whimpered out as he pushed his finger deeper inside of you.

He started to curl his finger whenever he passed over your g-spot, and you had to close your eyes. Jaehyun pulled his finger out to marvel at the slick wetness that coated it. Your body tingled as he slid his finger inside you again. This time, he was teasing your slit with a second digit. Jaehyun had no delicacy, though, and he all but shoved in a second finger, causing you to cry out.

He didn’t even care. You opened your mouth to call him a bastard, but all that came out was a pitched moan that seemed to float up to the stars.

“I fucking hated,” he rasped as he pumped two fingers inside of you, “how you treated Jaemin like he was the only one in the world.”

“I don’t… like Jaemin,” you got out, each labored breath of yours fighting off another moan. “I’ve stopped liking Jaemin after high school.”

Jaehyun’s free hand went to your chest, cupping one of your breasts as he rubbed circles around your nipple. You bit down on the inside of your cheek, unable to contain yourself as the fingers on your clit got almost frantic in their place, and the fingers inside of you were pushing against your walls. You felt an unfamiliar cold fire that felt so fucking good, lighting you up and threatening to spill over. Your muscles clenched and spasmed around Jaehyun, and you weren’t even in the hot tub but you felt like you were sinking.

A high-pitched moan left your lips, leaving you hot with embarrassment because you didn’t know you could make a sound like that. You fell from your peak, relaxing in Jaehyun’s hold; it felt like you were floating amongst the clouds in an almost euphoric way.

“I don’t like Jaemin,” you breathed out, still winded from your orgasm, “you fucking idiot.”

“I know.” Jaehyun pulled his fingers out of you, eyes trained on you as he licked them slowly. The look on his face was more gentle now. With his free hand, he brushed loose strands of your hair out of your face. “You like me now.”

“No, I’ve loved you for a while now.” You didn’t know what possessed you to say what was on your mind, but it surprised you more than it surprised Jaehyun. “I didn’t realize it then but… I think I did.”

Love? Love?

You thought you knew what love was. Something that you felt in your bones, that burst within you instantly. Simple glances, thoughts, and daydreams—something gentle and fluffy, but also emotionally shattering. You thought it was tender smiles, kind words, and little gestures.

But maybe that was the kind of love that led to puffy eyes, tear-stained cheeks, and hoarse voices. The kind of love that was left fruitless with an empty gap in your chest.

Maybe this was different.

It was instinctive, the way you fell for him. Like an effortless intake of breath, you were in love before you even knew it. You always thought love was a monster. Ravaging, scraping, foul monsters with jaws so immeasurably large that they would have swallowed you whole. But maybe it wasn’t the tragedy you made it out to be.

With Jaehyun it was fierce and maddening and made you want to rip your hair out. It was a violent hurricane that you tried to brave your way through. But you were blind. You were already at the eye; you had always been at the center without realizing it. And, despite all the pointless arguments and name-calling, it was the most beautiful thing you had experienced.

Yeah, you liked him. You liked how you were around him, despite how much you complained about it to Mark. Part of you refused to admit it, but sometimes the bickering was fun. You realized that you never let go of Jaehyun before because you couldn’t. You simply didn’t want to be without him because Jeong Jaehyun drove a deeper passion within you.

Your rose-tinted loving moment was ruined as soon as a shit-eating grin spread across Jaehyun’s face.

“You love me.”

“I’ll kill you.”

“You love me,” Jaehyun echoed as if he was internalizing the information. “You love me.”

“I take it back,” you said flatly. “I hate you, I hate you, and I’ve always hated you.”

Jaehyun ignored your words, his cockiness morphing into adoration. “You actually love me back.” He cupped your face in his hands, eyes turning into little crescents as he smiled. “Even though I called you a cougar for liking a guy a year younger than you?”

“Yes.”

“Even though I made fun of you wearing a push-up bra in front of him?”

You clenched your jaw. “Yes.”

“Even though I asked Johnny about you and he told me that I still live in your mind, rent-free?”

“What? Johnny said that?” you exclaimed, eyes wide. You grimaced. Johnny would be dealt with later. You placed your hands on Jaehyun’s shoulders and made direct eye contact. “Look, Jaehyun—as much as it hurts me to say this and I’d rather tear out my vocal cords—I like you. I like you so much that I don’t care about the petty shit you pulled when I liked Jaemin because frankly, I don’t care about Jaemin anymore.”

“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever heard.”

You wanted to slap him.

“Are you just constantly horny?” you snapped. “I’m pouring out my feelings to you here!”

“I’m better at expressing my love through actions, not words,” Jaehyun explained. “Can I show you?”

“Is this another ploy to get in my pants?”

“No, I’m asking you out on a date,” he said. “Sneak out with me tonight. I want to explore the city with you.”

The offer was tempting. In fact, you found no reason to be opposed to the idea. After all, you were always down for an adventure in the city. Jaehyun being with you didn’t sound too bad either, especially when Seoul was so lively at night. Part of you wanted it purely to catch up on all the time you missed when you stopped being friends.

“Fine,” you agreed. “An hour after curfew.”

“Great.” Jaehyun flashed a grin that slowly curled into a smirk. “Now let me get in your pants.”

“Are you kidding?”

“Y/N, you see,” Jaehyun started, “I don’t hate you, but you’ve really pissed me off these past two years. We have all of this pent-up rage, so it’s only fair that we let it out on each other.” His grip on your hips tightened.

You loathed yourself for wanting him, and for putting aside the fear of being walked in on for him. You internally cringed at the thought of Mark accidentally bearing witness, and you weren’t sure you were willing to explain the situation to him just yet.

It was the price you paid for carnality, you supposed.

You sighed in a forced way so that you sounded reluctant and bored. Unfortunately, your plan backfired and you ended up feeling bad when a concerned look crossed Jaehyun’s face.

“If you’re worried about getting caught, I’ll just cover you,” Jaehyun mumbled, the softness of his voice almost putting you at ease.

You rolled your eyes. “How kind of you.” You paused and looked up at him. “Are we really going to have sex for the first time here?”

Jaehyun looked around him. “Well, I guess we could go to the hotel room if—”

“Nope!” you interrupted, wrapping your arms around his neck and drawing him closer to you. “Let’s do it here. I love the pool, love having sex at the pool.”

He rose a brow at you, hands making their way down your body. Suddenly, your realization of being completely exposed had heightened, and you pressed your thighs together. Maybe it was because your vulnerability showed on your face, clear as day, but Jaehyun smirked, further flustering you by tugging down his swim shorts to reveal his hardened cock.

It was heavy and warm against your thigh, but what you were fixed on was the v-line on his pelvis. You traced along the bone, making him shiver under your touch. You were shocked when he grabbed your wrist tightly, holding it away from him.

“You’re playing a dangerous game here,” he growled. Jaehyun leaned closer and nipped at the shell of your earlobe, chuckling as you tensed up under his hold. His hot breath made you squirm under his grip.

Have you ever noticed how insanely attractive he was? Yes, of course. You weren’t an idiot.

Have you ever appreciated his beauty until now? Probably not.

“Just fuck me already, Jae,” you grumbled out as he pushed you down onto the deck of the pool.

In seconds, Jaehyun grabbed your hips and pulled them to his waist. Without any preamble, he rammed himself inside of you. The motion caught you by surprise and you cried out, half out of pleasure and half out of pain. You were definitely wet from being fingered earlier, but two fingers were nothing compared to Jaehyun’s cock.

Seeing his cock disappear in you was enough to make you whimper. Your walls clenched around him, pulsating at the foreign feeling. You were tempted to slap him upside the head for going so fast, but all you could do was tug at his hair and wrap your legs around him.

“You bastard, I’ll fucking—oh.”

Jaehyun laughed cruelly at your reaction, partly to cover up the groan caught in his throat and partly because your attempts at being mad at him were downright pathetic. When you had adjusted to his size, Jaehyun grunted and pounded in you, hitting spots that made your limbs feel like jelly. As if that wasn’t enough, Jaehyun found your clit with the hand that didn’t have a bruising grip on your waist and pressed harshly against it.

“You’re so fucking tight,” Jaehyun gritted out.

“T-then be gentle,” you bargained, drowning in a molten sea.

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes at you. “Have you ever fucking heard of gentle hate sex?” he asked, validating his point with a particularly hard thrust.

Your fingernails dug into his back, leaving hot-white trails down his skin. You were certain you had drawn blood, but knowing Jaehyun, he’d probably feel proud if he saw it. He brought his lips to your neck as you writhed under him, biting around until he found your sweet spot. This wasn’t fair; he was pleasuring you in every way possible and all you could do was cry out as he pummeled in you.

You closed your eyes, sparks flying behind your eyelids as you felt your release rushing to you.

Then, he slowed his strokes down considerably.

“Look at me,” he ordered in a rasp. Your eyes fluttered open, remaining half-lidded as you felt like you were going to spill over. “Look at me when I’m fucking you.”

He slapped his hips against yours again, the sound of skin against skin making you shudder. Jaehyun filled you up to the brim and you were oh-so-close to letting go and falling off the edge. The hardscape was cool but you were on fire, bliss overtaking all of your senses. Your toes curled as you held onto his damp skin for dear life, not sure if it was because he was in the pool or he was sweating due to the heat you both emanated.

“R-right there!”  you wailed. “Fuck, right there!”

Jaehyun angled his hips slightly to pound into you, causing you to see metaphysical stars. It was so hard to keep eye contact with him when your eyes just wanted to roll back. Jaehyun let out a groan by your ear, low and guttural. You didn’t even notice how tight the grip he has on you until he releases your hip for you to see the print he left.

You could tell he was close, but he wanted to hold on for you. Both of your breaths were labored as you stared into each other’s eyes, your body moving up and down against the hardscape as Jaehyun railed you. You tightened your grip on him, a pathetic moan falling from your lips as you were falling over the edge.

Jaehyun understood and fucked you through your orgasm, making sure you made the most of it. Warmth blossomed under your skin as you cried out in pure bliss, your vision blurring and refocusing as it flickered from normal to pure white as you rode out your high. You ground yourself back to reality after nearly sobbing out his name, the pleasure overwhelming you. Jaehyun’s eyes went hazy as he fell apart right after you did, and soon, you felt something warm spill inside of you.

Jaehyun finished inside of you and stuttered out a curse as he pulled out of you. He rolled over and laid on the deck of the pool next to you, the both of you catching your breath like you had just run a marathon.

“I have a cute date idea for tonight,” Jaehyun said after a long pause.

You looked over, watching his chest rise and fall. “Yeah?”

“We go to the store and buy Plan B.”

You couldn’t even disagree.

“Sounds good.”

Jaehyun dragged himself off the floor, muttering something along the lines of “shit, that felt good” to himself as he reached for his swim trunks to pull back on. You grabbed a towel to dry yourself off, but pins and needles shot up your legs when you tried to walk. Jaehyun noticed immediately and a smug look settled on his face again, not the least bit remorseful.

You scowled as you slipped your clothes back on. “Shut up,” you jeered. “You’re so shameless for someone who can’t pull out.”

“Oops,” he replied flatly.

“I hate you, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun ran a hand through his damp hair, letting out a laugh as he shook his head. He picked up another towel from the chairs by the poolside and wrapped it around so it covered your head. You bit your lip as you watched him attempt to dry your hair. It was times like these when he seemed so gentle and delicate, unlike his usual irritating attitude.

“You liked it, though,” Jaehyun said. “Right?”

You faltered, looking down at your feet as he continued to dry your hair. “Yeah.”

Jaehyun smiled softly and leaned in swiftly to peck your lips, but your moment was interrupted by the sound of a door opening.

Mark was gaping at you two, eyelids fluttering rapidly as if he was trying to blink away what he had just seen.

“Y/N? Jeong Jaehyun?” Mark questioned, his voice an octave higher than usual. Realization crossed his face through a series of facial expressions that morphed far too quickly for you to process. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Mark!” You and Jaehyun pulled away from each other quickly.

Mark paused to think his words through. “Did I almost walk in on a murder?”

You let out a frustrated groan. “Jesus, Mark, if you’re not going to read the room, at least SparkNote it.”

“Wait, so you were kissing?”

“No, we didn’t kiss,” Jaehyun assured, and you felt tricked for feeling relieved for a split second. “We actually had sex.”

Jaehyun’s words ended with a splutter as you elbowed him in the gut. Mark looked between the two of you, boggled. You nudged Jaehyun again with your foot, signaling for him to leave so you could handle Mark. Thankfully, he took your cue this time and grabbed his towel, mockingly saluting the both of you. You were stupid to think you were safe, though, because Jaehyun had to get another last word in before he walked off.

“See you tonight, Y/N.”

There was a long, awkward pause while Jaehyun opened the door and left the building. You and Mark were staring at each other but neither of you knew what to say or how to approach the subject.

“I just… I just came here to find you, and Jaemin told me you went to the pool. You…” Mark started. He looked absolutely horrified, like a corpse had fallen to his feet—no, rather, he looked like a corpse himself, like someone attempted to do taxidermy on him but did a shit job. “Bitch.”

“Let me explain.”

“Bitch,” Mark enunciated, “you just fucked the hottest guy here, oh my god.”

Definitely not the reaction you were expecting, but you supposed it wasn’t a bad one. You were glad he wasn’t getting into the whole ‘why didn’t you tell me? I’m your best friend’ rant, but this was equally as overwhelming.

Mark continued, “Wait—is that why you were late this morning? Oh my god, this has been a thing. You’ve been hooking up with him in secret, haven’t you?”

“No? Well, yes, but it hasn’t been much until, um”—you gestured awkwardly around you—“you know.”

“So you were the one who was with Jaehyun last night?”

“Yes.”

“And this morning before I picked you up?”

“Yes.”

“Are you two dating now?”

“Honestly, I really don't know,” you admitted. “Mark, please don’t tell anyone about this. Especially not those little shits, Chenle and Johnny.”

Mark gulped. “About that…”

Before you could question him, there was a chorus of loud clapping echoing from the locker rooms which was then followed by a few cheers. You grimaced as the two boys you didn’t want to see walked out: Chenle and Johnny, Tweedledee and Tweedledum themselves. They both wore cocky smirks as they shook their head at you, which made Mark a touch more nervous than he was before.

“Have anything to say for yourself, Y/N?” Chenle teased.

“Go to hell.” You scoffed and turned to Mark, narrowing in on him. “Why’d you bring them along? What are you? The three stooges?”

“We were looking for you so we could invite you to the movie night we were having in Jungwoo’s room!” Mark defended. “I swear, if I knew about you and Jaehyun, I never would’ve brought them along.”

You sighed deeply as Chenle snickered to himself. “Well, I guess Y/N can’t come to movie night since she has a date with—hold on, what did you call him again? The devil?”

“Okay, I get it!” You threw your hands up in defeat, eyes closed to show you were reflecting upon your actions. “I’m a dirty hypocrite and I’ve committed a crime worse than death.” You opened your eyes again. “I’m sorry.” To your surprise, Chenle and Johnny had their right hand up. You stared at it, puzzled. “Do you want me to make an oath or something?”

“In modern society,” Johnny explained, “we call it a high-five.”

It took you a few seconds to process their words before you tentatively gave them each a firm high-five. You blinked up at them before ease washed over you. This was how it always was, anyways. At the end of the day, no matter how much you guys bickered or teased each other, you always made up. That's what friends were for, after all.

“There we go,” you said, oddly satisfied. “For now, I’ll let go of the fact that Johnny snitched on me to Jaehyun behind my back.”

“How dare you!” Johnny gasped. “Chenle was with me.”

Chenle raised his hand to confirm the statement. “Indeed. Please give credit where it's due.”

“Alright, fuck you both.”

What the fuck even was a date?

This was foreign territory to you, but even so, you decided you wouldn’t rely on your annoying friends. First of all, you were sure they wouldn’t really be of any help and just endlessly tease you about it. Secondly, they were simply going to gradually grow more stressed (Mark), lecherous (Johnny), and aggravating (Chenle). Thus, you decided to slay the monster of first dates yourself.

Your first hurdle was looking cute. You packed absolutely nothing that wasn’t for the training camp, so you had already failed. Jaehyun was going to have to deal with you in your gym shorts and a school t-shirt.

Your second hurdle was sneaking away from Eunha, your roommate. That was a piece of cake considering how she didn’t exactly care. When you headed out of the room, wallet and phone in hand, she wished you a kind farewell, which you returned.

Your third hurdle was sneaking out of the hotel. You weren’t quite sure how you and Jaehyun made it outside without being spotted, but you were certain he must have tipped off some of the staff because there was no way the both of you could have walked straight out of the lobby without being reported. When you asked him, though, he said it was probably because you looked like the cleaning lady.

Needless to say, Jaehyun was on thin ice.

You loved Seoul, loved the dirty of it. Even at night, the city was alive and full of vigor, full of young people like you who were chasing cheap thrills. Jaehyun was a dream under the glowing lights, and you almost couldn’t believe that the prince-like boy was head-over-heels for you.

He took you to a wide alley with a night market, full of life and energy. Jaehyun was walking through the crowd and you were following right behind him, like some awkward fish swimming after a cuter, more popular fish upstream. There were several times where you almost lost yourself in the crowd, and Jaehyun noticed this. He reached behind him, still shouldering his way through the crowd, and grabbed your hand. The smell of spicy rice cakes, the numerous pop-up bars lining the alley, and Jeong Jaehyun gripping your hand—it all made a pretty eventful first date.

Jaehyun didn’t kiss you. Not once. He didn’t try to touch you anywhere that would have tempted you both into doing something you definitely shouldn’t do in public. There were times where Jaehyun turned pink or looked away from you shyly, and you indulged in it because this was a side of him you didn’t see often.

Jaehyun stopped at a convenience store before you both decided to head back. You waited outside for him, kicking stones as you thought of him. He was undeniably perfect, which you somewhat despised because you had spent the last two years hating his guts and this was an abrupt change. You were worried if he was buying you something; he had already bought you lamb skewers and rice cakes at the night market. You didn’t want to be the girlfriend to empty his wallet.

Wait—

Were you his girlfriend?

“Y/N,” he called when he walked out of the store, holding something behind his back with a sneaky grin. “Close your eyes.”

You bit back a smile and closed your eyes, holding your hands out. He placed the object in your hands and it felt light, so you were sure it shouldn’t have cost much. Although, your stomach was pitted with guilt at the thought of him spending money on you. You opened your eyes when he directed you to.

Plan B One-Step.

You no longer felt bad for him.

“Very romantic,” you observed, putting the packet in your wallet, “but thank you.”

You were seething. Your face grew unconditionally hot and you had to look down at your feet. It seriously pissed you off that your feelings were so clear right now because Jaehyun had bought you fucking Plan B.

Jaehyun seemed to notice right away and tilted your chin up with two fingers, chuckling. “Is something wrong?”

Your face screwed up when you decided on what you were going to ask him. “Are we dating?” you blurted out.

Jaehyun held your face gently like it would shatter if he applied any more pressure. His fingertips grazed the hinge of your jaw while his thumbs rested on your cheekbones. You were panicking when he leaned in, but it wasn’t what you expected. Jaehyun pressed a chaste kiss to your nose, grinning at your reaction. You reached up to trace his dimple with your finger.

“Do you want to be my girlfriend, Y/N?”

“Yeah,” you admitted, flustered beyond imagination, but you had already gotten this far so you continued, “do you?”

“Do I want to be your girlfriend?”

You wanted to hit yourself. “Fuck. I mean, do you wanna date me?”

“Of course,” he said with a laugh. “I’ve been waiting for this for so long.”

He drew you into his warm embrace and you buried your face into his chest, wondering how you hated this man for so long. Of course, when those cocky smirks and impish looks came back, you were sure you’d remember again. But right now, in his arms, you just knew that you wanted to be with him. You looked up at him, arms slung around him, and got on your toes to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

You were positive you hadn’t ever seen Jeong Jaehyun blush before tonight, but it was a sight you were sure you could never get sick of.

And you never would.

[beevean]

I have a highly favourable opinion on Eggman Nega compared to the overall fandom standard, but... Considering the fact that in Rush he's just navelgazing while Eggman is freaking out about Super Sonic and Burning Blaze, in Rush Adventure he presses the Fuck Everything Up Right Now button despite Eggman's protests, in Rivals 1 he traps Eggman in a card and nearly does the same to the world Eggman wants to rule over, in Rivals 2 he goes back to impersonating Eggman and forces him into hiding, and overall it is clear he deems his ancestor a complete failure... Why would Eggman like the Egg Salamander as his favourite creation considering he piloted (and thus probably also made it) with Nega? The dude hates his guts! I guess even Eggman can't resist the groove of Too Black, Too Strong, Too Black, Too Strong and an overall epic boss fight with a sweet ending XD XD

Broke: humanizing Eggman by forcing him to grow fond of his creation

Woke: humanizing Eggman by making him jam to Wrapped in Black <3 now that's how you make a villain relatable <3

Yeah, like... I'm sorry, even not considering that it's not the fruit of his sole efforts, or that it's associated to a person he should logically resent, the Egg Salamander isn't that special. He didn't even explain why he liked it, even just a "it could hurt Super Sonic". I know that robots like the Death Egg Robo, the Egg Emperor and the Egg Dragoon are more obvious choices, but... maybe they're obvious for a reason? :P

[sie-rui]

hello!! would it be alright if i request for a scenario where y/n and hanma are on a date? thank you sm in advance! I love your writing (*´∀`)♪

❀ DATES WITH HIM | TOKYO REVENGERS 🤍 hanma shuuji 💿 gender neutral, second pov (you/your), fluff, au - canon divergence, imagine 📅 june 02, 2021 🔗 main, hanma as your boyfriend

hanma shuuji, your lover, takes you out on a date. it's apparent to you just how much he loves you, despite all the teasing.

“Hanma, I swear, if I fall, I’m going to haunt you.”

The aforementioned snickers, not taking your threat seriously at all, all for good reasons as well. The very obvious one was that you wouldn’t die even if you jumped here and now. Second would be because you loved him too much to subject him to such suffering. Third would be because he would only laugh at you if you try to haunt him.

“That’s kind of the point, babe.”

“No, it isn’t!”

“I’m going to push you off.”

“NO!!”

Hanma laughs once more, completely amused like the devil he is. “I’m going to push you now,” he sounds, taking slow steps and knowing that you could hear his footsteps even with the noise. “Get ready~”

“Hanma, dammit please don’t.”

He’s grinning now, even if you can’t see it. He places his hands on your shoulders, grip tight. With him so close, if he as so much leans forward or even spooks you by blowing on your nape, you would be jumping to your death.

“Fuck it.”

Then, you jumped.

Hanma bursts out laughing, this time uncontrollable as you scream bloody mary like an idiot, crouching on the floor and cursing him at the same time. His laugh is free as you crumple on the cold tiled floor, flinging off the headset that brought you to the Virtual Reality of the game (or at least made you think so).

He doesn’t stop giggling like a little kid even when you look at him with your hair sticking to your face because of your sweat and eyes blown-wide. Your mouth was agape, trying to breathe in so much air in your lungs, a hand on the ground beneath you to make sure that you were still there.

“I didn’t even push you!” He says in between chortles, trying to wipe away the tears from his eyes.

“I’d rather jump myself than have you push me.”

Hanma feels like throwing himself off a building in hysterical glee, but this time, an actual building and not a game where you jump for the thrills and fun.

“I hate you.”

“You love me, we both know that.”

After the disaster early in noon with the VR game and almost breaking the headset that would have cost you thousands, the two of you are now enjoying a very-late lunch in a small family diner near the building where you had rented the monstrosity.

“We should try it again after lunch,” Hanma teases, finding amusement in your suffering and still pale face.

“And risk me returning my lunch, no thanks.”

Hanma pouts but there’s not much sadness. If you don’t want to do it again, then the two of you don’t have to do it again. The only reason why you ended up trying it in the first place was because you yourself insisted to—to get rid of your fears or some idiotic things. Frankly, it did not get rid of your fears; only traumatized you even more.

He knew that it wasn’t a good idea but you were always so hard-headed… And he had it on video now.

Currently, you were staring at your meal as if it had killed your ancestors, likely thinking about the earlier event and your almost-demise because of a heart attack. Your brows were furrowed and lips pulled together, lost in both thought and resentment. “What kind of idiot would want to subject themselves in that kind of torture?”

Having heard your mumbling, Hanma rolls his eyes with a little smirk. You, of course.

Hanma pulls out his phone, taking a quick picture and putting it up in his Instagram story because you just looked hilarious to him. It was like looking at a little kid who got scolded in public because they wouldn’t stop whining.

He knew that you were to see it later and start hunting him down with a pitchfork but he’ll cross the bridge when he gets there.

You were already done with your meal and was now stuck in your musings so Hanma takes your hand and pulls you up, startling you out of your reverie. “Let’s go,” he grins, stringing you along out of the diner and intertwining your fingers together so easily as if he was just breathing.

He pulls you close, your forearms almost touching each other but not quite. Hanma slows his walk, enough for it to be a simple and calming stroll, surrounded with the tranquility of the streets as you get away from the busier parts of Shibuya. He swings your connected hands to and fro, looking happier than when he made fun of you during the virtual experience.

You can’t help but beam and Hanma regards it with a thoughtful raise of a brow as you walk in a park that had a few kids playing around as the clock ticks closer to four. You had taken lunch late for the fear and adrenaline had numbed out the hunger, you didn’t quite mind.

“Hey, there’s an ice cream parlor across the street…” Hanma trails off, glancing at you, awaiting for a response.

“I’ll have my usual then.”

He presses a quick peck on the side of your head, slowly letting go of your hand before he bounds off with a little skip in his step. You take a seat on a nearby bench, lightly gazing at the kids that were laughing at themselves or at each other with no care in the world. Purity brims in their eyes along with childish curiosity and carelessness, a time of ignorance that no one can ever get again.

Being a child wasn’t exactly the most freeing time of one’s lives, but it definitely felt that way when you’re only five years old running around and not even knowing that school existed. You don’t care about problems because you don’t know about them, you have your parents to worry about everything else while you just play and joke around; picking who you like and who you don’t.

Sometimes, Hanma acts like that. Like a little kid only there for the momentary thrill and enjoyment, something that he’ll toss away days or years later. But he wasn’t. Deep behind that laxity was a promise to stay and love you for as long as he could. He wasn’t as forgetful, nor as ephemeral as a child’s attention.

He never said that he’ll stay, didn’t make any promises, but it’s in how he looks at you and how he treats you to little things like this.

Hanma comes back quickly, still with that little skip in his steps but this time with more hurry as if he can’t help but ungracefully throw himself on the seat beside you. He brings back two cups, one for him and one for you. His strawberry ice cream had only started to soften, yours in a better state.

He gives you a few folded tissues even before you thought you even needed it. The two of you enjoy your confections in silence, no words needed to ease into each other’s presence. Blankly gazing at the people that pass by, you lightly lean on Hanma and he returns it with a brush to your hand.

Hanma kissed you on the lips when you closed your eyes, the sweetness of the strawberry and the coldness of his lips were what made you flutter your eyes open.

When the afternoon ends and parents start herding their children home, Hanma disposes of your cups and holds your hand once more. His steps were easy and slow, no worry or fret as the two of you took your time, relishing in the sudden pushes of cold wind as the sun started to set in the horizon and orange along with purplish pink paints the sky.

He drapes his jacket over your shoulders when he thought it had gotten too chilly and goosebumps start rising on your skin. He doesn’t acknowledge the look you give him, only intertwining your fingers together once more like it’s second nature. The necklace once buried under his jacket’s collar was noticeable now and it was the same as the one that hung in your neck.

Hanma walks you home, stopping right in front of your doorway and once more meeting his lips with yours. Then, he pulls back to look at you, his eyes telling what his mouth can’t.

Hanma didn’t want to leave yet.

You smile, noticing.

“I rented some DVDs a few days back and got some snacks, want to watch them with me?”

[mzdsanalysis]

Wei Wuxian’s Actions and Morality:

I am kind of confused on some parts, and i would really appreciate it if someone is willing to discuss it with me. It’s regarding Wei Wuxian, and his exact involvement in the events at the Accident at Qiongqi Path and Bloodbath of Nightless City.

Now, at the accident at Quiongqi path, Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning were just going to Koi tower for the full month celebration to which they had been invited to. Jin Zixun ambushes and threatens to kill him if he doesn’t remove the hundred hole curse. Wei wuxian tries to explain that he didn’t cast the curse and isn’t guilty (admittedly he could have done it in a better way). Jin zixun doesn’t believe him and continues to threaten him. Jin Zixuan appears, tries to diffuse the tension, but still insists that wei wuxian comes along to answer the accusations. Wei wuxian doesn’t believe him (he isn’t wrong to. Guys show up with a whole gang, accuse him of something he didn’t do, and then ask him willingly to come along to “resolve” the issue, though they had spent the past year slandering him and wanting to murder the people he is trying to protect. Just getting into his perspective of things.) Wei wuxian gets angry and accuses Jin zixuan of being on the whole thing, and is agitated and afraid. Which is when he loses control of the resentful energy, which extends to his control of wen ning, and that’s how wen ning, not currently being in control of his body, punches a hole into Jin Zixuan and kills him. Now, automatically, I am going to absolve Wen Ning of any guilt. He is literally NOT in control of his own body. He did that due to the Wei wuxian controlling him with resentful energy. But Wei wuxian also isn’t completely guilty. He was upset, confused, and to some extent scared. But not even subconsciously was he planning or intending to kill Jin zixuan. He lost control over the resentful energy. He put wen ning is a specific state, and then lost control over him, due to not being able to regulate his own emotions during the whole chaos. An accident. An accident that led to someone innocent being killed, but an accident none the less.

Now, I expect different peoples take on this is going to deviate somewhat and that’s fine. I am cool with it. In my opinion, he isn’t completely guilty, but is still responsible. He did not have the intention to kill Jin zixuan, but he DID kill him. It was because of the resentful energy that he was still learning about and how to control it. But if you are going to use a knife after everyone telling you it’s dangerous – although they are doing it just because they don’t want you to have the knife, they want themselves having the knife, while at the same time threating to kill your friends, so you don’t exactly have a choice, but use a freaking knife to, you know, NOT DIE – when you accidently stab someone, it’s still somewhat on you. Lan Zhan had warned him that it could end up badly if he did loose control over the resentful energy and wen ning, and wei wuxian dismissed it. But it was still something he was experimenting with and researching, and hadn’t completely figured out. So it’s not like he didn’t care or was dismissing that it was a bad thing, just that he genuinely didn’t think it would happen. He has been controlling it so far, and everything has been fine, and since he doesn’t exactly have any other options, he will have to continue using it, despite the arguments on the dangers of it.

Now, the bloodbath at Nightless City. Wei wuxian already knows at this point that wen ning and wen qing are dead, and he heads there to atleast collect their ashes and bring them back. When he arrives at the pledge conference, all the sects attending, all 3000, are collected together, and Jin Guangshan makes his speech. He announced that both wens are dead, and then spreads the ashes, the ones Wei ying had come to collect. Then announces that they were going on next day to kill the rest of wens anyway, along with wei ying, to loud applause from the crowd in attendance. Its only then wei wuxian makes his presence known. Before that, he was just listening on. Jin Guangshan makes some more accusations: at Qiongqi Path wei wuxian killed Lanlingjin sect members, the ones jin zixun brought to ambush him, and that wei ying is the one who made wen ning go in a rampage at koi tower (a lie. While jin zixuan’s death at wen ning – actually wei wuxian’s – was an accident, the rampage at koi tower, as we know for a fact, wasn’t an accident (confirmed by MXTX’s interview.) I am not sure if it was mentioned in the book, but from what I can recall, it was xue yang. I might be wrong, but it was still done on Jin Guangshan’s orders. So the deaths of members of the other sect’s members, Lan and Nie, and the others, lie not at wei wuxian’s feet but Jin Guangshan’s. Wei wuxian doesn’t take the accusations silently, and argues back: he was the one who was ambushed, who almost got killed. He has every right to defend himself against the men Jin Zixun brought to attack and kill him. The crowd says he shouldn’t have been so heartless, and in wei wuxian’s own words: no matter what the other sects throw at him, no matter how hard they try to harm and kill him, he is not allowed to touch them, harm their members, defend himself or fight back even if it cost him his life. The sects throw in their final arguments in:

Even if he was fighting back, it doesn’t account for the 130 people who died at koi tower at hands of wen ning.

He shouldn’t defend the wens. They are horrible and evil and guilty and deserve to die.

He is only doing it for his pride, and to prove himself a hero.

He laid the curse on Jin zixun.

Each of them are easily nullified.

Wei wuxian didn’t cause wen’s ning rampage. Jin Guangshan did. The 130 lives are on his own hands, not wei wuxians.

People aren’t guilty by association, especially by family relation. None of the wen remnants have any blood on their hands. They are from wen qing’s branch and are non-combatants, thus they were not involved in any of the Wen Ruhon’s actions. Nor were they involved in at the accident at Qiongqi Path or Koi tower. They are innocent.

The argument about his pride came from their attitude towards him from before his defection. They had admired his powers and were intimated by it, but didn’t like that he belonged to Jiang sect, and wasn’t willing to change his loyalties to belong to them instead. He also dared being defiant and outspoken, and powerful while being a servant’s son, and that’s a crime of it’s own in their eyes. Is wei wuxian’s slightly arrogant? Yes. Is he wrong to be? No, he is very powerful and is aware of what he is capable of. Is that a reason to hate him enough to want to kill him? No! wth

He laid the curse on Jin Zixun. He didn’t. Su she did. Jin Guangshan and Guangyo were aware of that, and still sent zixun to ambush wei ying anyway.

None of their accusation hold any weight to them. Admittedly, we know that because we read the book and these characters aren’t exactly able to do that. The only people here who know about it are Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao, who planned the whole thing in the first place. So, I am not going to paint these people as all evil. Some of the sect’s members did die. Some of these people have actually the right to be angry at what happened, though the anger is pointed in the wrong direction.

But the rest of the people are there because of the mob mentality. Because someone is guilty, someone needs to be punished. Here its 50 people and wei ying, one of their own ex members. But because they are not worth the effort, none of it needs to be investigated, to be proven. They have an available party to hold guilty, and it’s far too comfortable for them to put it on their heads rather than find the actually accountable people.

To an extent, it really does seem, by the proofs handfed to them by Jin Guangshan, the wei ying is guilty, That he actually did it. But don’t they owe to the 50 wen members who are about to be slaughtered like cattle, for no other reason than being associated with Wen sect and Wei wuxian, for atleast one of them to look a bit harder, to try a bit harder? I would say so. Wei ying would too. I don’t think the other sects would agree with us, but it’s ancient china society, and modern war ethics and laws aren’t exactly in place to prevent them from doing so.

Back to Wei ying, he gets shot at by a disciple. It actually pierces him, just by luck not in a fatal place but only by a fluke. It was aimed at the heart. The intention to kill was there.  He fires the arrow back, kills back the guy who tried to kill him. I don’t know exactly how anyone could hold him completely in the wrong here. We might not like it, but wei ying is not some pure white angel, nor a pacifist by any means. He is a soldier, a fighter, and he is amidst people who are literally moving to kill him by any means, and he just got an almost kill-shot. He has every right to defend himself, fight back, and honestly, kill back anyone who is trying to kill him. Eye for an eye, punch for a punch. It’s ruthlessly fair, despite sounding harsh. Honestly, it is harsh, but it’s not wrong, wither we like it or not.

He calls forth his dead, the battle begins. Lan Wangji tries to get him to stop, but it doesn’t work. There are definite tones of a sort of deliriousness. I am not exactly sure to how severe it was, but it shows he wasn’t exactly in an emotional and mental fit state. It’s definitely obvious when he tries to make his way to Yanli, and is too worked up to control the corpses crowding around, and the one standing behind Jiang Yanli. He is only able to do it when yanli asks him to stop it all so that she could tell him what she had wanted to tell him. He forces himself to calm down, and is only then able to control the corpses. (I am not saying the deliriousness was severe enough to absolve him of any responsibility he does hold in the event; I am merely acknowledging it’s presence.)

Then Jiang Yanli gets killed by the bow guy’s brother, and that when thing’s go from going downhill to just jumping right off the cliff. But unfortunately, MXTXs writing doesn’t exactly let us to be a witness to the scene, so the curtains close, and we are only allowed to make our assumptions on what happened, who/how/how many exactly died.

The point of this bloody essay is to determine the exactly how much of the event was Wei wuxian involved and responsibly for, so I can examine wei wuxian’s morality with all facts present.

If we go according to the book, wei ying:

Used some pretty grotesque methods to kill in the sunshot campaign

Allowed/ made Wen Ning kill his killers at Qiongqi Path

Accidentally killed Jin Zixuan

Kill Jin Zixun and his men after their ambush

Got in a fight on the way to the pledge conference with a group of cultivators: he broke one’s nose, kicked out his teeth, and made another fall and break his legs (not a severe injury according to lan wangji)

Fought in Bloodbath at Nightless city (after they had made the announcement, they were going ahead with the attack on the wen remnants and wen ying)

I am only including actions that me, anyone else (or the character’s) could possibly hold against him and question his morality with.

Here is where my confusion comes in. Now, I made the mistake of reading the novel only after finishing the tv show. As we know, the tv show took some liberties with the plotline and altered a few things. I honestly like a lot of the changes. Usually when tv shows make changes like that, it doesn’t always work out and it kind of depletes the essence of the story, but they actually managed it quite well. But one of the key changes were the plotlines around the Qiongqi Path accident and nightless city.

Divergences in the tv show:

At Qiongqi Path, Su she’s flute is what makes Wen Ning kill Jin Zixuan (+ Jin Zixun) rather than wei wuxian loosing control due to his emotions.

At the bloodbath, Su She playing the flute is what stopped wei wuxian from halting the battle and loose control of the fierce corpses.

(+ by the time of the battle, the wen remnants were already dead, so wei wuxian’s fight becomes more about revenge and grief rather than to protect them)

Basically, they abbreviated a lot of his action to other people. Which I understand, I guess. You are less in the character’s head while watching the tv show rather than when you are reading the book, and for the audience to develop a better and more empathetic relationship with a lead character, liberties needed to be taken to make him more sympathetic.

My debate on his morality, hence, is more focused on the book character rather the tv show (honestly, since even his only 2 serious offences are not even his fault in the show.) but in the book, they kind of are. He did kill Jin Zixuan: accidentally. He had no intention whatsoever of him doing it; not subconsciously or consciously. He was just feeling agitated and angry and viewed Jin Zixuan as a threat, and Wen Ning, who was in his fierce corpse state, interpreted as a need to kill jin Zixuan.

The only way you could put this against him is if you hold him responsible of using such an unstable and dangerous form of cultivation/magic. But he already gave an answer for that, which none of us can argue against: he didn’t have choice. He never did with demonic cultivation.

He started using it in the Burial mounds to survive and make it out.

He used it to seek justice for his sects massacre (go ahead and debate the need for that if you need to. I don’t)

He used it to fight in the Sunshot campaign, and he was a MAJOR force in the campaign, and a enormous contributor to it’s success. Could they still have won if he hadn’t been with them? Maybe, sure. But if there was any risk to loosing them, and wen sect remained undefeated, Jiang chen and yanli and wei wuxian were as good as dead. No way they or the other sects who had raised arms against wen sect would have been allowed to live or survive.

He used it to save Wen Ning and other wen remnants: war prisoners who were undergoing severe abuse and were basically being killed off. For no reason than being wens. Yes, I know it was common in ancient china to kill off the whole family. But it’s not right. Wei wuxian doesn’t think so. And neither do i.

He used it to bring back Wen Ning for Wen qing.

-  I don’t know where I read it that he brought him back for protection or as a weapon. He didn’t. He was pissed at what they did to him, and brought him to allow him to tell wei ying who had kill him then allowed him to get his revenge. He than made him sentient because he had promise wen qing & the other wen members that he could bring him back. He promised his sister that he could bring her brother back. That’s why.

He used it to protect burial mounds and the wen remnants: A bunch of non-combatant members that he had grown to love and care about as family. As you can see here:

“ He turned around, knowing that it’d be a long time before he’s get to see the people he was familiar with again.

But…right now, wasn’t he on his way to seeing people he was familiar with as well?”

He used it to fight back during the ambush. He doesn’t have a gold core; He literally cant wield a sword to defend himself. So he uses it to summon corpses to fight against Jin Zixun’s men.

·       He uses it to fight in the Bloodbath of Nightless City, after Jin Guangshan announced that they were going ahead with killing the rest of the wens and wei ying, and the attending crowd voiced out their excitement over the prospect.

 Second, the bloodbath at nightless city. Yes, it was a very brutal battle with many casualties. But these people were planning to kill him and the wens. They had decided it by the time he spoke up. It was a definite thing that was going to happen.

 Now you can argue against the use of violence, and need of it. But while I am very anti-war myself, I still hold to the belief that there are some fights that are worth fighting for, that need to be fought for. The wen remnants were innocent, and no one, NO ONE, had the right to decide they needed to die just because they were wens. They were innocent people. They had not actively killed or participated in the massacre that the main wen sect had conducted, and being blood relations to the actual guilty party is not an indication of being guilty too.

You could also argue the value of 3000 lives against 50. I have seen people do it, and write metas about. But whats the value of 1 life or 10 or 50? How are we supposed to decide who deserve to live more? How is that anyway moral?

Wei wuxian didn’t act to choose one group of lives over the other. He did it to protect himself and the people he cared about, and that meant fighting against anyone who was actively intending to kill and harm them, and was an acting threat. As human being who, like any other being, has the right to defend himself, to protect himself, to survive and be able to live. 3000 people wanting to kill him, and wens doesn’t take away his right to do that. There isn’t a rule that if enough people want you dead and murdered, rightly or not, you should just let them go ahead with it and turn your belly up. That…just doesn’t make sense?

I am in acceptance that he is a grey character, with his flaws and his merits. What I am confused about is exactly how much black and white went into making his grey. Maybe because I watched tv show and read the novel at the about same time, I feel like I am missing something. Did I miss anything? Did he do anything else? Am I wrong? What do other people think? Where do you guys lie on your judgment of wei wuxian as person and on his moral stance?

[marybeatriceofmodena]

You know, I’ve been thinking today about how Alina doesn’t even really work as a Reluctant Hero, compared her to Frodo to see the key differences (since Frodo is pretty much the Poster Child for the Reluctant Hero), and then I realized... 

You know, I think L/eigh B/ardugo wrote TGT as a very black-and-white fairytale, where Alina is the princess, Mal’s the knight in the shining armor, and the Darkling is basically the dragon, except it doesn’t really work because the worldbuilding requires an approach that’s... a lot more grey? 

The thing is, though, I realized... Alina and Mal are basically meant to be Frodo and Sam. Except that, again... it doesn’t really work. 

Frodo works as a Reluctant Hero, because he makes it clear multiple times that he doesn’t want to carry the Ring. He asks Gandalf to do it for him, he asks Galadriel, he asks Aragorn, and they all refuse, because they are (or are called to be) in a position of power, and while them being in a position of power is presented as good, the One Ring essentially represents the fast, easy way to get to it, which will ultimately corrupt them rather than have them fight their way towards their goal. 

Frodo, meanwhile, is the right person to carry the Ring, because he comes from a humble place and he doesn’t really have any aspirations to become powerful. And while he’s clearly burdened by having to carry the One Ring, and that he makes it clear that he wishes the Ring had never come to him, he still goes on anyway, despite all the hardships he faces, because his ultimate goal is to save the Shire and his friends, and that desire is stronger than any fear or greed he may have. 

Now, J.R.R. Tolkien himself said that he didn’t really see Frodo as THE Hero, and that Sam is the real Hero of the story to him. Which makes sense, given how Sam was based off young men from rural England he met while fighting in World War I. But also, the story makes it very clear that without Sam, who’s arguably the most pure-hearted person in all of Middle-Earth, Frodo would have definitely failed in his task. The reason why he resists the temptation to carry the One Ring is LITERALLY because him protecting and helping Frodo is more important to him. Sam doesn’t give two shits about power. Helping Frodo save the Shire and coming back to everything he’s ever loved is more important to him. 

Both Alina and Frodo are pure-hearted orphans who are given tremendous power: Alina is the Sun Summoner, and Frodo carries the One Ring. In both cases, power is represented as a corruptive force, that makes people go mad with greed. It works in the context of The Lord of the Rings, given how the rings were given to leaders of Elves, Dwarves and Men, and that Sauron created the One Ring to rule over and control all of them. The Grisha, on the other hand, unlike the Ring-bearers, are not in a position of power, given they are essentially victims of Fantastic Racism in pretty much every country. While Ravka treats them slightly better than in Fjerda or Shu Han, it’s still not ideal and it’s something that could be taken away from them at any moment. It would be an entirely different matter if the Grisha were the ones rulling over Ravka and viewing otkazat’sya as lesser, and in that context, Alina being the Sun Summoner would be a very obvious road to her becoming corrupted. 

Frodo refusing to carry the One Ring and asking other people to take that burden from him comes from a place of genuine fear of what the Ring might do to him. In his place, we’d probably all do the same thing. That’s what makes his acceptance of his task all the more admirable. Alina, on the other hand, refuses to be the Sun Summoner and to help her fellow Grisha because that stands in the way of her ending up with Mal. She never gives any sign that she’s truly empathizing with the Grisha’s plight, she tries to run away not once, but twice, and most importantly, she never sees herself as one of them. They are othered, but it matters little to her, because she doesn’t want to be othered herself, because that stands in the way of her running off with a boy. It’s basically the equivalent of Frodo being overcome by fear after seeing the fate of the Shire in Galadriel’s mirror, and just demanding to be sent to the Grey Havens straight away to save his own ass from it all and just leaving the One Ring to whoever wants to deal with it. At that point, it’s not being a Reluctant Hero: it’s being a coward at best, a selfish bastard at worst. 

(And that’s why I don’t really buy her when she tells Aleksander that they could have had it all if he had told her all the truth from the start, because... again, she didn’t seem to care about the Grisha that much and Aleks telling her everything would have actually been a sure way of having her run as fast as possible the other way. I know the story is trying to tell me otherwise and that the plot point I’m supposed to see here is that Alina was willing to do something until she felt betrayed by Aleks, which is... not what was shown here, and it’s especially annoying considering how Alina is a deserter in every sense of the word, and that any army would have court-martialed her for running away.) 

So if Alina is meant to be a pure, selfless heroine, who loses her powers because she also refuses to be greedy... that just falls completely flat, because if anything, she’s as selfish as Frodo is selfless, because all of this really just boils down to her wanting to run off with Mal. 

Now, onto Sam and Mal. Both of them are basically Everymen who are there to help the Hero and keep their feet on the ground. As mentioned earlier, Sam is the one who helps Frodo finish his mission to Mordor, and the story makes it clear Frodo would have failed without him. TGT meanwhile presents Mal as Alina’s “True North”... which could work on paper as Alina’s reminder to temper Aleksander’s efforts and to remind him that in order for Grisha to be viewed as people, it is important for them to also remember that balance and peace between Grisha and otkazat’sya will be essential, so resentment and hatred can be healed between both groups. 

The key difference here is that Sam is completely supportive of Frodo at all times. Even when Frodo sends him away in the film, Sam goes back after him the minute he realizes he’s been tricked by Gollum. He never shames Frodo whenever he falls prey to temptation, he simply reminds him of who he is and what he must fight for, and even when he’s climbing Mount Doom, he still carries Frodo on his back despite being probably completely exhausted, because Frodo’s more exhausted than he is. He completely accepts Frodo as both his friend, the Hobbit from the Shire, and the Ring-bearer he needs to help, even if he might die in the process. 

Mal (in the books, that is) makes it very clear that he does not accept Alina as both the girl he knew and the Sun Summoner. He only wants the girl, and whenever Alina makes steps towards being the Sun Summoner, he basically sulks and yells at her for not paying attention to him. Despite Alina becoming othered in the eyes of the world, he refuses to see her as othered, mostly because it is inconvenient to him rather than because he loves her for who she is. That’s why in the end, people feel like Alina lost her powers in order to be with Mal, because Mal would never accept her in her entirety. Sam, on the other hand, accepts Frodo as both Ring-bearer and Hobbit, because if he didn’t, Frodo would have failed. 

And while they made Mal in the show a lot nicer than his book counterpart, he still doesn’t work as Alina’s “True North”, because he cossets her in her selfishness. He may say he doesn’t care about how Alina is a Grisha in this one, but he also doesn’t consider the implications of it all - which is especially glaring given he’s a soldier himself. Like, look, if you’re going to slap in a racism plotline to make Mal/ina work, you’d think that being half-Shu would give Mal a little awareness that people are going to treat Alina badly for being half-Shu AND a Grisha, and given Alina is the MOTHERFUCKING SUN SUMMONER AND A SAINT, maybe, just maybe he’d tell her: “Heh, it’s kinda lame we’ll just run off and let everyone else in the dust, you know, especially since we could make our lives as well as everyone else’s better?” Seriously, if you’re going to make Mal Alina’s “True North”, have him face her duties and her calling whether she likes it or not, don’t coddle her when she wants to run the other way because she wants to hide under a rock for the rest of her life. 

With all that being said, that leaves us with the Darkling, who... I mean, given his whole schtick is that power corrupts and makes you evil and crazy, I guess that makes him Gollum, but sexy. 

Gollum, but sexy. 

That single expression has been haunting me ever since I started writing the above novel and I fucking hate it. You’re welcome. No one wanted Sexy Gollum. Absolutely no one. Fuck this shyte. See, this is why I want Darkling Redemption. I do not want to live in a world where Gollum is sexy. I need brain bleach. 

Even here it doesn’t even fucking work because Gollum hid in a cave with the Ring with a strategically placed cloth because no one wants to see his crusty ass family jewels anyway, while Aleks worked his ass off to give the Grisha a safe place to live and to at the very least ensure they’re useful enough to not be killed like animals. Like, if you’re going to give the world something that’s gonna definitely not make me sleep tonight like Sexy Gollum, at least do it right. 

[bbangsoonie]

11:11

member: changmin (q) genre: angst word count: 6,802 synopsis: when changmin finds himself trapped in the past, repeating the day of your death, he’s convinced that he’s been given a chance to save you. warning(s): death

Changmin woke up with a dreading feeling. He hadn’t set an alarm despite it being a weekday. He was hoping to sleep through the day and wake up the next morning. Unfortunately for him, the sleeping pills he took the night before only allowed him rest until noon.

He checked his phone, staring at the date. A year had officially passed by since that fateful day. Groaning, he threw his phone back onto his bed. He stayed under the blanket for a while, not wanting to get up. However, the sunlight shining through his window refused to let him go back to sleep.

Declaring defeat, he sat up and scowled at the sun. It was annoyingly bright today. The weather had no regard for his mood and was unusually warm for a winter day. It pissed him off.

He heard his phone vibrate and chose to ignore what he guessed was Chanhee’s daily check in. Still not fully awake, Changmin walked towards his fridge to grab a cold water bottle. After gulping half of it down, he let out a sigh.

His brain was still at war with himself. Half of it felt obligated to visit you and half of it wanted to drown his feelings in alcohol. He stood there, zoning out, contemplating his options.

Eventually, his guilt triumphed and he found himself throwing on whatever clean clothes he could find. He trudged out of his apartment and down the stairs. On his way to the main road to find a taxi, he passed by a flower shop. The same sense of obligation from earlier made him backtrack and step inside.

It had been over a year since he last visited the place. It felt strange to be back. The emotions he came here with were entirely different from the emotions he had back then.

He asked the worker for a small bouquet of daisies and muttered a word of thanks after receiving his change. After flagging down a taxi, he braced himself for the long ride.

The car escaped from the noisy city and headed towards a more remote area. He almost laughed, remembering how often you would mention that you wanted to be buried in nature and not locked up in a jar behind glass. He used to always chide you for thinking of and planning for your death but in the end, you had been the insightful one. He never thought he’d be traveling to your grave—at least not while he was still in his twenties.

When he finally arrived, his feet rooted itself and he couldn’t bear to walk further. He hadn’t been here since your burial a year ago. A wave of embarrassment suddenly hit him. He truly was an asshole to you until the end. He couldn’t even make things up to you even after your passing.

He hadn’t made any efforts to visit you but it was painfully obvious to those around him that he was still grieving. He blamed himself for letting you die. That burden prevented him from continuing to live life without you. His friends watched as he willingly ruined his own life. He gave up dance and even came to resent music. He spent the past year surviving and not living; he filled his time with part time jobs that would earn him the money he needed for rent and food.

In Changmin’s mind, he didn’t deserve to be happy when your life was cut short. He wished so badly that he could trade places with you.

With another sigh, he made his way towards your grave. He could tell your family stopped by earlier that morning. Someone had left a big bouquet of pink flowers for you. Beside it was a photo of you smiling, oblivious to the tragedy that would occur just a few months after it was taken.

He forced a smile, recalling how you used to complain about how everyone would bring you pink flowers instead of daisies for every occasion. Daisies were your favorite flower and Changmin was the only one who ever remembered.

He placed his own bouquet down and sat next to it. Holding up your photo, he spoke to it as if you would reply.

“It’s been a while hasn’t it, Y/n?” he attempted to say in a cheery voice. “I’m sorry it took me so long to come back. I… I was afraid. Seeing you like this really makes reality hit as if waking up in an empty bed isn’t a strong enough reminder.”

He set the picture down and turned around to face your headstone. Hesitantly, he wiped at a spot and fell into silence. 

“Everyone tells me that the accident wasn’t my fault. I don’t believe it but even if it was true, I still hate myself for letting you leave when the last words I said to you weren’t that I love you. Not only did you die a painful death, but you died with the hurt I inflicted on your heart,” his voice cracked as he choked back tears.

Flashbacks of that day flooded his memory. He winced, finally confronting what he couldn’t for a year.

Changmin had left the dance studio angry. Angry at himself. Angry at his inability to perfect the choreography. Unlucky timing had you outside waiting for him to finish. He had planned on blowing off some steam by meeting Sunwoo for drinks but was stopped by you. You had noticed how upset he was and wanted to cheer him up but was brushed off.

Changmin knew he was snappy when he was pissed and didn’t want you to be on the receiving end. He wanted to spare you from walking on eggshells around him and knew that Sunwoo would quietly let him rant without getting hurt by his actions or words. Instead of clarifying, however, he let you misunderstand and walked away.

You watched him leave, staring at his back. The past month with him had been rocky. You knew he was stressed from preparing for the upcoming competition but you still missed the bubbly Changmin. Nowadays, he was more sensitive and on edge than happy and affectionate.

You had bought matching couple rings in hopes of brightening up his mood. They were simple rings made of silver and meant for the pinky finger. It was to symbolize your promises to each other—to always love and appreciate each other. Yours was already on your pinky but his was left in the box you were hiding in your pocket. You sighed and figured that you’d get the chance to give it to him later.

Except that chance never came. Changmin only came across that ring later when he found it on his table back at his place.

“You know, I left you knowing you probably thought I was irritated with you too. It was because I assumed I’d get to clear that up later. Like always. But later never came,” he fidgeted with the ring that now never left his own pinky.

What a cruel way to teach him a lesson.

“I guess at one point, I started taking you for granted. Taking our time together for granted. Who would've known that death would literally do us part before we even made our vows?” he chuckled at the irony. “I never told you but I intended on proposing to you as soon as we graduated. I got ahead of myself and was planning things way in advance. Would you believe me if I said I already decided where to go for our honeymoon?”

He could almost hear you laugh. If you were next to him, you’d lean on his shoulder as you doubled over in laughter. You had loved and teased him for his sweet side.

“That’s how sure I was that we’d get forever together. You spent the rest of your life with me but now I have the rest of my life ahead of me without you. A little unfair, don’t you think?”

Changmin had so many regrets. He wanted nothing but to go back in time and re-do things. After bottling everything inside him for a full year, everything was spilling out now that he was there with you.

You and Changmin hadn’t moved in together but you often slept over. That day, you waited until night for him to come home. He never did.

Sunwoo had called you from the restaurant they were at, asking you to come pick Changmin up. He wasn’t completely wasted but he was definitely too drunk to go home by himself. Sunwoo apologized, saying he couldn’t take him home because he had a prior arrangement to attend.

So you ended up sitting across from your boyfriend, waiting for him to sober up a little more before leaving the restaurant. This was not how you thought you would spend your anniversary with him. When he stormed off from the dance studio after spending the whole day there, you had already presumed he forgot what day it was for you two. You tried to be understanding, knowing that he felt extreme pressure about the competition.

You didn’t expect any gifts but you had hoped that you would at least have dinner together. But now that was also out of the window. You suppressed your annoyance and reminded yourself of how happy Changmin was when he was dancing. You wanted to be supportive of him.

“Why did you come here?” Changmin asked. Something about his tone irked you.

“What?” you frowned.

“I’m a fully grown man who can find his way back home fine,” his words dug a knife into your heart. You wondered if he forgot that you were the reason why he made it home safe and sound after drinking.

“You should be thankful that I always take care of your drunk ass,” you huffed. “You know, you can’t just count on me to do all these things for you. I do it because I want to but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be appreciated.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he sighed.

You hated that look on his face. He had that look often nowadays. That tired look that screamed that he was too tired to even argue with you. It scared you. Even arguing took interest that he didn’t seem to give you these days. You would rather fight with him than live in such silence.

So you did. You exploded at him.

“No, Changmin, I don’t know. I never know what you’re thinking anymore. You don’t tell me anything and just assume that I can read your mind. And it feels like I’m expected to play the role of your girlfriend when you don’t even act like my boyfriend. You need to take a step back and realize how grateful we should be towards each other.”

After your outburst, you waited for his response. You waited for him to either yell back or apologize. Anything to show that he still cared. Instead, he said something that made you wish that he just didn’t say anything at all.

“Why are you being like this today?”

You felt the knife dig deeper into your heart and his words stunned you into silence.

“You’ve changed,” you whispered.

And with that, you got up and left. Realizing he screwed up, Changmin ran out to chase you. It had gotten late and dark while he was inside and the sky was now pouring buckets. Without an umbrella, you were getting hit by the rain that hid the tears wetting your cheeks. When he finally caught up to you, he grabbed onto your wrist and spun you around to face him.

“You asked why I’m being like this? Today? Well, news flash, Changmin. Today’s our third year anniversary but I guess I’m the only one who cared to remember,” you cried.

His heart shattered at the sight of your face. He never meant to upset you. And he certainly didn’t mean to forget your anniversary. It had slipped his mind while he was focused on practicing. All that seemed futile when he saw the pain on your face.

You didn’t give him a chance to reply and shook his grip off of you. Wanting to avoid him, you ran to cross the street before the light turned red. At that moment, however, a car failed to break in time and the rain caused the driver to lose control.

Changmin’s eyes widened as he watched the vehicle crash into you. The noise was terrifying but seeing your body fly in the air and fall to the ground was even more horrifying. His legs moved before his brain processed the scene he just witnessed. He ran to your side and tried to shake you awake. His hand trembled when he saw that it was bloodied by the wound on your head.

The driver came out of the car, feeling both disbelief and guilt about what just happened. Changmin screamed at him to call the ambulance before returning his attention back to you. He begged you to stay alive but you took your last breath that night at 11:11.

After Changmin came back to Seoul, Chanhee caught him outside of his apartment and dragged him to dinner. He knew that his friend would be mourning all day and not remember to eat. So they went to a nearby restaurant and he practically had to shove the soup into his mouth.

By the time Changmin arrived home, it was late. He washed up and plopped onto his bed, wishing the day would hurry up and come to an end. Staring at the ceiling, he waited for sleep to take him out of his misery for a while. Eventually, his fatigue took over and he fell asleep the second the clock turned to 11:11.

When he awoke, he didn’t feel as groggy as he normally did. He felt strangely well rested. Wondering how long he had slept for, he checked his phone for the time. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he saw the date. It was yesterday’s date but with the previous year. He figured it was a cruel glitch on the device’s part and threw it back down.

He got up to get ready for his shift and fumbled around to look for the sneakers he just recently purchased. No matter how hard he looked, it was nowhere to be found. He found it odd but settled for an old pair of sneakers he hadn’t worn in a while.

After he put them on, he turned the doorknob to leave. He swung the door open and was shocked at the sight in front of him. You were standing there, holding a bag of groceries. Just like you did a year ago.

“Uh Changmin?” you stared at him, waiting for him to move so you could walk in.

Changmin was speechless. His brain felt like it stopped functioning; he didn’t know how to react to the familiar scene in front of him.

“Is this a dream?” he asked out loud.

His heart was racing. You hadn’t shown up in his dreams in so long. Now that you appeared to him, there were so many things he wanted to tell you. He wanted to tell you that he didn’t mean to hurt you. That he was sorry. But in that moment, all he could manage to do was pull you in for a hug.

“Is something wrong, baby?” you asked.

“Everything. N-nothing,” he stuttered.

Was he supposed to talk to you about everything that happened? Was he supposed to just enjoy reliving this day? He couldn’t decide.

You chuckled at the peculiarity of your boyfriend, finding him endearing. You motioned for him to move over and let you in, which he complied while still in a daze. You placed the groceries on the table and began to put away what needed to be refrigerated.

“Are you going to the studio to practice today as well?” you asked, opening a small carton of milk for your boyfriend.

He slowly took the drink you handed him and nodded. He then shook his head, not wanting to repeat his mistakes.

“Today’s our anniversary. We should do something special,” he suggested.

You lit up, excited to go on a date with him. You were glad you chose to dress up today.

“What do you have in mind?” you asked.

“Hmm how about that art gallery you’ve been wanting to go to?” he smiled at your happy expression. “I haven’t had lunch yet so we can eat some pasta before we go.”

So you two headed out to your favorite Italian restaurant and he ordered a bunch of dishes. You had protested, insisting that you wouldn’t be able to finish but he insisted that he wanted to spoil you that day.

He felt like he was on cloud nine as he watched you enjoy your meal. He missed this. He missed seeing you wiggle in your seat because of how good the food was. He missed cutting your steak for you because you were clumsy with knives. He hoped the dream wouldn’t end any time soon.

Noticing that he wasn’t eating much, you picked up a slice of pizza and held it in front of his mouth. His cheeks filled up after he took a bite and you laughed at how cute he looked. Your laughter prompted him to laugh as well, showing off his dimples that you loved.

You left the restaurant stuffed and was ready to fall into a food coma. Yet you couldn’t refuse when Changmin bought you your favorite ice cream. You strongly believed that people had a second stomach for dessert. You walked with the ice cream in one hand and with Changmin’s hand in the other. You stuck closer to him and leaned your head on his shoulder. He turned to look at you and didn’t want to ever look away.

After spending a couple of hours at the art gallery, you found an arcade and tugged him inside. You bet on dinner over three rounds of a vintage game, which you won. You cheered when your victory flashed across the screen, making him chuckle. To be honest, he let you win by pretending to slip up at the end but seeing your joy was worth it.

To Changmin’s discomfort, you chose the samgyupsal place that you two had fought at. Of course, you didn’t know that and just wanted to spend the night eating meat and drinking beer. Although hesitant, he agreed to your menu selection.

Changmin was indescribably elated to be able to sit and chat with you for hours. He didn’t even notice the rainstorm that began once again outside. He was too busy listening to you talk about one of your assignments for a random elective class you took but ended up liking. You rambled on about how your professor was extremely kind and lenient with grading.

By the end of the night, you two left the restaurant and he grew anxious, anticipating the end of the dream. You took notice of his sudden change in demeanor and questioned him about it. Before you could hear an answer, however, your hat was snatched and taken away by the wind. Not wanting it to get wet and dirty, you chased after it.

It all happened so fast. Again. Just as you were about to catch the hat, it blew further away, causing you to step out into the road. And again, there was nothing Changmin could do about the car that crashed into you.

This time, Changmin woke up with the feeling of falling from a tall height. The sensation startled him awake and he jumped up gasping. He scanned his surroundings, unsure of what he just experienced.

“A blissful dream turned into yet another nightmare,” he groaned.

He paused, reaching out for his phone to check the date. Both his jaw and phone dropped at the repeated date.

“No way,” he muttered. He shook his head, refusing to believe what was happening. “This doesn’t make any sense.”

He racked his brain for any plausible explanations. Surely this was another dream. A dream within a dream. Or maybe he’d finally lost it and was hallucinating everything. Believing in the latter, he made up his mind to finally go to the therapist Chanhee had been bugging him to go to. He quickly got dressed and put his shoes to head out. He paused when his hand grabbed the door.

“Surely it won’t happen again… right?” he wondered out loud.

To his surprise, you were there again on the other side of the door when he opened it. Trying to figure out what was going on, he slammed the door shut and froze. Outside, you blinked at the door in your face. Puzzled at your boyfriend’s behavior, you knocked.

Inside, Changmin flinched at the sudden noise. He was bewildered and beyond confused. This had to be a joke. Or a dream. Or a hallucination. How could you be real? There was no way you were actually back.

Or maybe, it was his chance to set things right. Maybe, if he did everything right, he could prevent your death. The idea sounded ingenious and insane to him. Taking a leap of faith, he flung the door back open and gazed at you. Still skeptical, he extended his hand out to hold yours. It felt warm, unlike the last time he held it in the rain. He wanted to cry in both shock and joy. He swallowed the lump rising in his throat and took the groceries from you.

“Are you okay, baby?” you asked, following him inside.

“I’m okay as long as you’re with me,” he said in a shaky voice.

You chuckled as you began to organize the groceries just like you did the day before.

“Are you going to the studio to practice today as well?” you asked, opening a small carton of milk.

Changmin stared at the milk you offered again. So many thoughts ran through his head as he tried to understand the situation. He determined that this was a blessing. He was given an opportunity to go back in time and change things. To save you.

“Let’s go watch a movie today,” he said.

He thought out and planned the rest of the day. He would sneak out in the middle of the movie to go buy a present for you. Using the excuse of an upset stomach, he went and bought a necklace he had been eyeing for months. It was quite expensive so he had saved up little by little and now he could finally afford to give it to you.

With the corner of his eye, he saw a couple looking at the ring section together. As if caught in a trance, he found himself walking towards the engagement rings. He gaped at the endless options of diamonds that sparkled as bright as your eyes. He bit his lip, contemplating if he should buy a ring as well. He initially wanted to wait until you both graduated but graduation never came for you. It was one of the biggest regrets of his life.

So he carefully took a look at the rows of rings until he saw one that immediately felt like it was meant for you. He quickly asked the worker to help him with his purchase and ran back into the theater to finish the rest of the movie with you.

You didn’t suspect a thing until he took the necklace out after lunch and put it on for you. You beamed at the surprise gift, eager to show him yours. Shyly, you retrieved the couple ring from your purse.

“It’s a promise ring meant for your pinky,” you explained as you slid it onto his finger. “A promise to always love and appreciate each other.”

He smiled at how proud you looked.

“See?” you showed him the ring on your own pinky.

“I love it,” he held his hand next to yours, admiring the view. “But uh I actually have a ring for you as well.”

With his heart pounding, he pulled out the square box and stood up. He took a deep breath before getting down on one knee, making you gasp. You felt tears brimming your eyes as he opened the box to reveal the diamond ring.

Watching proposal videos had always made you cringe. You didn’t get why people would cry. But in that moment, it all made sense when you found yourself unable to verbally reply. As a college student, you never expected him to propose. Sure, you had thought of marrying him but that seemed like such a faraway idea. You knew Changmin would always be in your future and didn’t see yourself marrying anyone else but him. So you managed to nod before he placed the ring on your finger.

“I know the timing may seem premature but with you, I want to have the courage to do what my heart desires. I want to see you walk down the aisle towards me. I want to show the world that I’m yours. I want to spend our honeymoon at Bora Bora and have two kids together. I want to raise a dog with you, just like you always dreamed of. I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he confessed.

After hearing his words, you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore. He embraced you in his arms and you buried your face into his chest as you sniffled. Resting his chin on your head, he wished time would stop. All he wanted was to stay in this moment forever.

By the time night approached again, he made sure to keep you away from the street and from any vehicles. You wondered why he was being so overprotective and clinging onto you. He didn’t offer an explanation and just gave you a nervous smile.

Looking at his watch, he let out a deep breath when he saw that it was almost 11 PM. His leg shook anxiously as he held your hand tighter. You had insisted on enjoying the sounds of the city in the rain so you two were sitting at a random bus stop.

All of a sudden, the cry of a child was heard. You turned around to see a little girl who seemed to be lost. You stood up to go help but Changmin sat you back down.

“You stay here. I’ll go,” he said, feeling uneasy.

While he brought the little girl to the bus stop to avoid the rain, a young boy caught your attention. He was playing with a ball and you wanted to warn him to be careful. Before you could open your mouth, however, he dropped the ball and ran into the street to get it back. You panicked, seeing a motorcycle speeding towards the kid.

You ran out to pull the child back but was hit instead. Changmin’s heart dropped at the sound of the collision. When he turned back to find you, you were laying on the wet ground with blood pooling around you. Seeing you die for the third time wasn’t any less traumatic. In fact, it broke him even more. He hated himself for letting it happen again.

“Y/n, please please wake up,” he begged as he held your face in his hands. “You can’t leave me. Not again. I promised myself that I would change your fate. Y/n, please!”

Every time Changmin woke up, that day repeated itself. And each time, he would try to keep you alive. But no matter how hard he tried, that cursed time of 11:11 always ended his brief time with you with the same outcome.

When he kept you inside, you fell down the stairs. When he tried to make you sleep by tucking you in early, you never woke up. Thinking it was Seoul that was the problem, he even took you down to Busan. Paranoid, he even spent the whole day and night with you at his place. But every time the clock hit 11:11, the inevitable would occur and he would wake up to repeat it once again.

The seventh time he awoke to the same day, he screamed in frustration.

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” he yelled out.

He cried into his sleeves, wondering if this was his punishment for being unable to save you. While he wallowed in grief, he heard you knock on his door. He wiped away his tears and got up to greet you. Oblivious to his mood, you walked in and opened the refrigerator like you did the previous times.

“Are you going to the studio to practice today as well?” you asked, opening a small carton of milk.

“Let’s just stay in today. I’ll cook you something,” he bitterly smiled when he saw that the engagement ring was no longer on your finger.

He rummaged through his kitchen, looking for ingredients. You sat down next to the counter and watched as he made you kimchi fried rice. You enjoyed watching him cook. He didn’t do it often because he wasn’t very confident about his skills but you loved the gesture. You thought it was cute when he had that concentrated look he usually saved for dancing.

After lunch, you spent the next few hours watching movies. You had eventually noticed how sad he was. You looked over at your boyfriend who seemed preoccupied with his own thoughts. Mustering up some bravery, you proposed watching a horror movie. You knew it was his favorite genre but didn’t watch scary movies with him often because you got scared easily. Slightly surprised by your suggestion, he agreed and let you choose one of the recommended movies on Netflix.

At every jump scare, you snuggled closer to him. Throughout the whole film, you clung onto his arm and he comforted you by stroking your head. Treasuring the time he got to spend with you, he allowed himself to feel at ease for a bit.

For dinner, you convinced him to go out to eat. On the way back, he lured you into a gift shop, kicking himself for not preparing a present ahead of time. While you were busy looking at the dolls, he managed to pick out a bracelet and slid it into his pocket after secretly paying for it. He knew it would be gone when the day reset and dreaded having to see your listless body again later.

When you two returned back to his place, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. He wanted to savor every second he was able to spend with you. Noticing his gaze, you stared at him back, bringing a smile to his face. You poked his dimple, laughing at his expression.

“So I got you a little something. I hope you didn’t think that I forgot our anniversary,” he said as he put it on your wrist.

Smiling, you took out the gift you had prepared.

“It’s a promise ring meant for your pinky,” you said as you slid the ring onto his finger. “A promise to always love and appreciate each other.”

“See?” you revealed the ring on your own finger.

After hearing those words for the nth time, he finally broke down. He began to bawl, catching you off guard. For a few minutes, he wept as you tried to soothe him.

“Okay, spill. What’s been bothering you all day, Changmin?” you demanded.

He sighed, knowing what he was about to say was insane. He didn’t want to scare you but it all came out as word vomit.

“I’ve been reliving this day multiple times. I know it sounds crazy—it is crazy—but I was sent back in time. It’s actually supposed to be a year from now, a day after today. But instead, I’m stuck in this endless loop trying to save you. You died, Y/n. You died a year ago and you keep dying again and again! I thought I was given this opportunity because of all the regrets I had. The day you died, I was a complete jerk and you got into an accident after we argued. I blamed and resented myself. I had so many “what if’s” and “if only’s” that it tormented me,” he paused to catch his breath.

“I thought I had to repeat this day until I successfully prevented your death but nothing’s working. I can’t change things!” he cried. “I’ve tried over and over and over again. I’ve tried keeping you away from the street, taking you out of the city, and even locking us up in this damn apartment and nothing’s working! Every time 11:11 comes around, the same conclusion happens.”

You sat in silence, unsure of how to process all the information he just threw at you. He was way too emotional for this to be a joke and too upset for it to be unreal. But at the same time, you wanted it to be fake. You didn’t want to believe it. You were still so young. You had hopes and dreams you had yet to achieve. You wanted to crumble but you couldn’t bear to do so after seeing how heartbroken Changmin was. After thinking for some time, you finally spoke up.

“Maybe you were given a chance not to save me but to let me go,” you said quietly. ”You said you regretted the day I died. Maybe this is your chance to get closure. Send me off in peace. Find peace yourself.”

“No. No way. I’m not letting you leave me again. Not after all I’ve been through,” he said, desperately hugging you. “I finally get to hold you in my arms again. It’s okay if I have to relive this day forever. As long as I can see you, I’m okay with that.”

“Changmin...” your heart broke at the sight of his crestfallen face.

You let him keep his tight hold on you. He was so afraid you’d disappear again that he refused to let you or himself fall asleep. You looked at the clock and saw that the time was approaching.

“Baby, you know you can’t. I’m not coming back to life. I can’t. That’s not how the world works. We were blessed to have the chance to say our final goodbyes. Not everyone gets that. We’re lucky. We get to remind each other of how much we love each other and I get to tell you that I want you to be happy even if I’m not by your side. I’ll still be with you. In your heart. As long as you keep me there,” you pulled away to meet his eyes. “I don’t want you to be miserable without me. I want you to live your life to the fullest. Let me live vicariously through you.”

“But I have so many things I want to do with you. So many things I never got to say to you,” he stammered.

“Nobody gets to fulfill all their desires,” you smiled sadly. “Just know that I know how you feel. I know that you love me. I know that you want to grow old together. I know that you want to see mini me and mini you. I do too. I’m so sorry I won't be able to do that with you.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks. Admitting it out loud made it feel real.

“You have no idea how badly I want to walk down that aisle with you. I want to live happily ever after while bickering with you. I want to see you dance and I want to succeed in my own career. I hardly lived over two decades but you made me so happy for most of it. I’m glad I got to love you. It’s a shame I won’t get to get my degree after studying so hard but there are bigger regrets. Like wishing I had spent more time with you. Wishing we took more trips together.”

Changmin looked at you with a pained expression. He wished that he had taken more pictures with you. That he had gone on more dates with you. That he made you laugh more.

“I guess we were given this opportunity in exchange for all of that. At least now I’ll get to leave knowing that I’m loved and that you know I love you. Our last day wasn’t spent arguing but hugging,” you pointed out.

The two of you lain wordlessly on his bed. The only sound was the clock on his wall ticking.

“Can you tell my family that I love them? And my friends too. I wish I could say goodbye to everyone but that would be greedy of me,” you said wistfully.

At his silence, you turned to look at him. When you saw the guilt on face, you sat up and beckoned for him to do the same. You glanced at the clock, taking note of the time.

“Ji Changmin, I love you. Thank you for making me the happiest girl in the world,” you smiled with tears in your eyes. “While we make promises with this ring, can you also promise me another thing?”

You waited for him to nod before continuing.

“Promise me that you won’t blame yourself for anything and that you’ll move on. I want you to have all the extra happiness I’ll miss out on. I’ll be expecting you to lead a fruitful life for my sake too,” you held out your pinky, waiting for him to wrap his around yours.

“It’s okay if I start to fade out of your memory over the years,” you added. “I’ll understand when my face starts to become fuzzy to you. I’ll even understand when you get married and have kids. I’ll be your kids’ godmother and look out for them. I can’t wait to see little baby Ji’s.”

“But I don’t want that if it’s not with you…” he whispered.

“Don’t be silly. You’re still young and have the rest of your life ahead of you. I’ll be mad if I’m the one that’s holding you back. Now, hurry up and promise me. My arm’s hurting,” you shook your pinky at him, urging him to lock fingers together.

It tore him apart but he shakily held out his hand to make his promise. More tears escaped his eyes each time he blinked.

11:05.

Changmin held your tear-stained cheeks in his hands, staring into your eyes. You hated the sad look in his own eyes but knew yours was the same. He hated the ominous feeling that predicted that this would be his last time in the loop. Now that he came to terms with the fixed ending, he would be freed from his desperate desire for a different outcome.

“Thank you, Y/n, for teaching me what love is. From when I first met you up until now, there hasn’t been a single moment that I didn’t cherish. I love you. I love you so so much. I spent the past year unable to forget you and I never will. I’m going to believe that you’ll be watching over me and I’m going to make you proud. I’m going to experience both my and your share of happiness. So don’t worry about me. I won’t be able to follow you soon but I’ll join you up there one day. Please wait for me.”

“I may be your first love but I certainly don’t hope I’ll be your last. Instead, I hope that I’ll be your endless love,” you hummed, feeling drowsy.

“Of course,” he affirmed. “I love you, Y/n.”

“I love you too, Changmin.”

Changmin awoke feeling oddly comforted. The sun was shining through the window again and his apartment didn’t feel as empty for some reason. He eyed his phone and hesitantly picked it up. He was filled with mixed emotions when he saw that the year was finally set back to the present.

Out of habit from the past week, his eyes lingered on the door. You weren’t going to come knocking again but you also weren’t going to die again. You were finally sent off in peace.

His phone vibrated, notifying him of Chanhee’s daily text message. Chanhee was a persistent one as well.

Changmin decided to reply and asked him to grab breakfast together, which earned him an immediate “yes”. He told his friend to invite Sunwoo as well and got up to get ready for an outing for the first time in a long time. This was his first step in the healing process.

a/n: tbh i kinda cried writing this. i hope you cried too hehe also idk if you noticed but the line “endless love” is actually from the boyz’s “priority”. i really like that phrase and it’s been stuck in my head ever since the song came out