#and depression decided it was a nice time to show up so i've been trying to work around that

[i-heart-hxh]

I just want to say I appreciate you for staying positive about killugon. Admittedly, I’ve given up on them. Maybe it’s too many angsty fanfics or metas I’ve seen that basically make it seem like they’ll never be close again but it’s nice to see some people still going strong with this ship! Hopefully one day I can enjoy this ship again the way I used to. Currently everything I read about them in fandom just depresses me.

Hi anon!

I'm sad to hear the negativity has gotten to you to this degree! It actually surprises me how much the fandom seems to think what happened between them can't be fixed. I've been into HxH for almost 8 years now and as time has gone on and I've revisited the series and analyzed it deeply and discussed it with others, I've only grown more certain that things between them will be okay--assuming Togashi can reach that point in the series. And right now is a great time to be hopeful about the future of HxH, with Togashi working so actively on the series the past few months.

Sooo many of the messages in my inbox amount to "Is there really hope? Are Gon and Killua really going to reunite and reconcile? Or is their relationship hopelessly broken?" so even though I feel like a bit of a broken record addressing this topic so much, it seems like it's a topic people really want addressed, so here's some more of my thoughts. (Trying to make my answers on this topic at least a little different each time even if some repetition is inevitable...!)

Here's this post I made of some of the reasons I anticipate a Gon and Killua reunion and fixing their relationship. And here's this eye-opening analysis post of the separation, yet again, which also offers hope.

So much of HxH is about second chances. It's about how love and human connections transform people and make life worth living, no matter how painful and difficult it may be. At the end of Chimera Ant Arc, Meruem and Komugi (who are, by the way, absolutely parallels for Gon and Killua) find their meaning for living in each other, and decide to stay together even knowing the only way they can be together is in the afterlife. If you trace back this scene to all the factors and character moments that made it possible, it goes all the way back to Gon extending kindness to Killua and changing his life. I believe Gon and Killua are on a path wherein they will ultimately find their meaning in each other and vow to stay together again (albeit without the dying part).

Gon and Killua are the protagonists of the series, and they are emblematic of the themes of HxH. Looking at the themes of HxH and the worldview it presents, it doesn't make sense for Gon and Killua to experience this horrible traumatic incident as the young teens they are, then never ever get to fix and resolve it even though they're both clearly upset to have to leave each other and they definitely have more to say to each other. Why show them feeling dissatisfied and unhappy to separate if they'll never get a chance to fix things and be happy together again? Do you really think that's the direction Togashi wants to go in, with the focus of the series and the repeated emphasis on how the hope we can find in a cruel, painful world rests in the connections we have with the people around us?

It's meaningful that they make each other so happy and transformed each others' lives. It's meaningful that even now in merch and artwork and such, they're portrayed as a pair. It's meaningful that a huge chunk of the audience so desperately wants to see them together again, and I'm certain Togashi is well aware of that. These two are at the heart of what makes HxH so wonderful and moving.

It's okay to take a break from the ship if it's not bringing you joy. Sometimes I get frustrated by takes and interpretations I see about it, too, trust me. Ultimately, it's here for you whenever you want to revisit it, and there are plenty of fanworks with happy endings and reconciliation between them if you need something to tide you over until canon hopefully resolves things between them. But do what feels right for yourself--it's okay to focus on something fluffier and less complex if that's what you need for now. I hope eventually you can come to see it with more hope, as I have lots of hope for their future--and I don't think it's unwarranted at all. 💖

[jangofettjamz]

The Birthday Boy

Jenna Ortega x Autistic!Male!Reader

Summary: You finally get to celebrate your birthday for the first time, and with the one you love.

Words: 1552

Y/N POV

Today is my birthday. I've never really celebrated it; family never really bothered. Now that I'm older it just seemed more insignificant. No one to celebrate it with, and let's be honest and no one wants to celebrate it on their own.

Jenna was out working, I never told her when my birthday was because I didn't want to interrupt her filming schedule, she's already got enough on her plate she doesn't need to worry about getting me gifts for my birthday she has a career to grow.

I've turned 20 today; Jenna turning 21soon. 20 years feel a bit surreal not gonna lie, crazy to think it's been that long since I was born. I try not dwell on that to much, it'll just send me spiralling.

I do wish I had a good birthday though, the feeling of being celebrating. I know this may sound narcissistic, but I always wanted to be celebrated, have a day just about me. I wanted to feel like everyone could come together and show support for me even if it was just for one day, I never had that kind of love growing up so I'd like to know what that's like, though I doubt it'll happen.

My father never paid any attention to me growing up, saying I was too much of a hassle to put up with. You know you have a bad parent when they have to "put up" with you  instead of loving you unconditionally, but hey beggars can't be choosers, right?

Me thinking about how life could've been was making me depressed so I decided to go out for breakfast, I got dressed and got the keys to my car and went out get food.

On the way there I get an incoming call from Jenna, thought she would've been busy this morning so this was a pleasant surprise. I answered but kept my eyes on the road.

"Hello darling, how'd you sleep" she asked, she knows I don't sleep well when she's gone.

"Um... I slept okay, probably could've got more sleep though. I'm just going to that Italian place we went to a month ago for some breakfast. How's shooting going" I asked, she's currently filming for her new movie 'death of a unincorn' with Paul Rudd.

"Filming's going great, Paul's really cool and I can't wait for you to meet him, he's knows you're a marvel fan too." She giggles mischievously, that little minx.

"Jenna why'd you say that." I whine feeling embarrassed.

"Aw babe, don't be shy he thinks you're really cool." She says reassuringly.

"Yeah sure he does" I say sarcastically, making her laugh. "Do you know when you'll be home?" I miss her dearly, I need to see her soon.

She let's out a sigh, I brace myself for bad news. "Sorry, sweet boy. I won't be back for another week." I let out sad sigh and a whine, I missed her alot.

"Hey, hey, don't be upset baby boy, I'll be home before you know it and we'll have so much fun together. The week will go by quick I promise." She cooed, she always knew what to say to put me at ease.

"Alright sweetie I have to go, drive safe for me and I'll see you very soon." She blew a kiss through the phone "I love you, sweetheart"

"I love you too, Jenna." We end the call and I continue my journey.

I arrive at the restaurant, this is gonna drain my social battery for today so I hope I don't have to to anyone that much, I just wanna get my food, eat then leave.

I ate my food peacefully, the staff were wonderful, definitely going there again for breakfast. I leave the restaurant and do some birthday shopping for myself, figured I may aswell treat myself to something nice for my "big day"; I sound miserable.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I feel my phone vibrate, a few text messages from some of my friends and cast mates from scream 5 and 6. I read them and I was shocked, how did they know...

Jasmin

Hey Y/N/N, hope you're having a lovely birthday. Can't wait you see you soon.

Devyn

Howdy stranger, happy birthday my love, you're 20! Hope you're doing well and I'll see you soon... very soon. 😈

Mikey

Looks like someone has a birthday today... AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME! HOW DARE YOU! Besides that betrayal I miss you so much Y/N, happy birthday my sweet.

Mason

Hey man, looks who's 20 years old! Happy birthday bud, hope you have a good one.👍

Melissa

Hey hey, it's the birthday boy! Happy birthday honey, you deserve the best birthday in the world. All the best from me and my husband.

Jack Quaid

Hey buddy, happy 20th birthday! I miss you alot pal, Karl and Antony send their birthday wishes too. Hope to see you soon, buddy.

I was shocked; flabbergasted even. How did they know, they couldn't have possibly...unless. I looked the last message, it was from Jenna, the mastermind behind this.

❤️Jenna❤

Hi baby boy, guess who found out when your birthday is! You never told me when it was but I asked around and viola! Happy birthday sweet boy, I promise we'll see each other very very soon. I love you so much, sweetheart.❤

That little minx... this is why I love her so much, I can't begin to express how much I love her and this just solidifies that. I sent her a message back saying I love her and continue to the mall.

But as I walk to the shopping mall I see three woman who look very familiar, they're wearing party hats too. No... no way... it can't be...

Jenna POV

The look on Y/N's face is priceless, he looked shocked, excited, and emotional at the same time. I think me, Jasmin and Devyn did good on surprising him.

"JENNA?!" He says with glassy eyes.

"C'mere sweetheart" I say and open my arms, he runs towards me and I wrap him in a tight hug.

"I missed you so much" he said while crying, he's such a cutie oh my god.

"Aww sweetie, I missed you too, so much honey. I've been tracking you on Life360 and we intercepted you here. Happy birthday my love, I know you don't like big crowds so I brought Devyn and Jasmin with me" they spoke up.

"Happy birthday, Y/N/N. It's so good to see you, I've missed you alot." Devyn says making him smile widely.

"It's been too long since we've seen you Y/N, how have you been?" Jasmin asks. He lifts his head from my neck and speaks.

"Better now that you guys are here, I haven't really been feeling the best since I've been on my own, I'm so glad you're here Jenna." I hold him and rub his back in comfort.

I want him to really enjoy his birthday today, I already have stuff waiting for him at home. I think he's gonna love it. "Let's go do some shopping and then we'll go home, I have a surprise for you." His eyes lit up and I kiss his cheeks.

- 2 hours later

Y/N drove behind me as we made our way back home. Jasmin and Devyn went home soon after we shopping. We park up to the driveway and he joins me at the front door.

"Close your eyes, birthday boy" I ask and he looks at me with caution.

"What are you planning now, Ortega?" He asks me; suspicion in his voice.

"Just close them silly" he obliged and I take his hand to guide him to his surprise. We reach the living room. "Okay, open your eyes sweetheart."

He opened them and is met with countless presents ranging from: action figures and Lego sets from their favourite franchise, new clothes, PC parts and much much more. I wanted to spoil him and make up for the 20 years of birthdays he missed out on. He looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"Jenna... is this all mine?" He asked, still not believing that he finally had a proper birthday.

"All yours, sweetness" I hug him as tight as I can, he cries into my shoulder out of, what I can only assume, happiness. "Don't cry honey, it's okay. That's all for you because I love you so so much, you deserve this my love, you deserve the world." I cooed softly.

"Thank you so much" he said through his cries.

"You're so welcome, my beautiful birthday boy." I say then kiss his forehead, cheeks and lips.

"Wait here, baby boy" I head into the kitchen and grab his cake. I light the candles and head back into the living room.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Y/N, happy birthday to you." I sing and he blows out his candles.

I cheer and set the cake on the table. He smiled so brightly, he finally got to have a real birthday to celebrate.

Happy birthday Y/N.

A/N

Not my birthday, but I thought it'd make a good story. I hope you enjoyed.

[peemanne]

ok. i'm sorry. i'm on that tomodachi grind right now. it just went down. i NEED to report this. truly historic moment in pee-land island just unfolded on my monitor

beautiful pee-land island right. nishiki's become a bit of a favorite for me. he was actually the first islander to reach level 20. he's kind of just been living the life so far on here. i sent the gallery awhile back. he's been doing real well for himself, between his massive closet, dyed hair, and living underwater because i got bored. he's one of the most popular islanders too, scoring an impressive top 2 on the popularity ranking, as well as getting along really well with a majority of the island

it's not all sunshine and rainbows for the island's #2 fish, though. he's been down on his luck in one specific aspect:

Romance.

in tomodachi life, your islanders can try to get two of their friends together. three (3) separate islanders have attempted to get nishiki together with cynthia (of pokemon gen 4 fame), but every time they walk away from it, still just friends.

(PICTURED ABOVE: Kazuma Kiryu attempts to get Nishiki and Cynthia together)

this would come to a head when nishiki eventually got the love icon. (pictured below is nishiki kicking his feet and giggling while love icons circle his head)

unfortunately he decided to confess his love with a really bad pickup line (sorry i don't remember the specifics but like. it was dire. i winced), and he ended up getting rejected.

(i had him change outfits)

however, in an utterly unprecedented event, nishiki turned his head right back up, and decided to have another go at it. i didn't even know this event could happen prior to this.

unfortunately, cynthia did not even show up to the second invitation. nishiki fell into a depression so i let him go to cambodia. as a treat. for morale.

but there were glimmers of hope. i noticed cynthia's opinion of nishiki only went up after all that happened. kiryu would again try to get them together to no avail, but after that, a prompt showed up for nishiki, going along the lines of "why would kiryu want us together? oh now i'm curious". she even returned to him his lost mug. and like, i don't know. i was feeling pretty optimistic after that. i was very much rooting for nishiki at this point. what can i say, it was really cute. it became my crackship. i wanted to see it happen. even took this picture in the photo studio cause i thought it'd be cute

how romantic. alright. now cut to last night. i boot up the game, get my fountain donations, yadda yadda it's cool. i check out the clothing shop for the daily rotation of outfits, and i spot this.

it looks exactly like the suit he wears in yakuza 1. and i'm like hell yeah. i've had him wear a bunch of outfits so it's nice to see one so accurate (I've been waiting for a suit for Kiryu since I've added him). i get excited and get him fitted.

(PICTURE ABOVE: Nishiki wearing a fish hat underwater as well as a dashing white suit)

i'm feeling pretty good after this. i go about doing the island rounds. eventually, cynthia's problem icon pops up and i go to see what's up. it wasn't just any problem icon though. it was the big heart

as i said before her opinion of nishiki was only getting better. and i'm like, oh my god. it's all coming together. it might be happening. i'm jumping up and down. then i open the door

KAZUMA KIRYU. SHE FELL FOR KAZUMA KIRYU

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. TOMODACHI LIFE CRASHED MY CRACKSHIP. HOW COULD I LET THIS HAPPEN TO MYSELF

AND IT WENT REALLY WELL. THEY'RE OFFICIALLY DATING NOW. STILL HAPPY FOR THEM BUT THEY CRASHED MY CRACKSHIP. STOLE IT FROM ME. RIPPED IT FROM MY HANDS. THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT HAPPENS IN YAKUZA 1 TOO WITH YUMI. WHAT THE HELL

that suit is cursed. i'm sure of it now. i gotta dye his hair back and put kiryu in the jail room now. fate never rests for the brothers. what the hell.

pictured below is nishiki immediately after this Incident (he is joined by Hatsune Miku and Sin Kiske)

i then saved the game and NISHIKI JUMPSCARE HE'S HERE TOO

i was still reeling over it, then i got curious. i headed for the beach and started up judgment bay.

19:2 ratio. i'm crying. only kiryu himself (As well as competitive Pokemon staple and famed #girlboss Landorus-Therian, who is standing behind Kiryu's massive head) still see the good in him. i'm in shambles

whatever this island has in store for nishiki i just pray it goes well for him. he was living the life here, and the last thing i want to see is that being taken away from him. i hope this does not cascade to another shirtless fistfight on an observation deck.

[call-me-strega]

Dc x Dp prompt #25: Jason gets isekai-ed

It's been a while since I've done one of these and this has been sitting in my drafts so:

Danny Phantom exists in the DC universe as a TV show and comic series where they actually expand on lore and integrate fan lore that we the actual fandom has created (cores, obsessions, Ghost king, etc) bc the creator doesn’t suck. Like if Alex Hirsch (creator of Gravity Falls) had been in charge of it. Basically, DP being low-key like the DC of the DC universe kind of, but better.

Jason is with the Outlaws fighting some magical foe when he gets zapped into a conviently placed, tv/book/billboard or whatever and ends up in some rando's body in the DP universe.

I'm thinking full fledged isekai experience for Jason. We're talking guilt for stealing someone's life/body, not knowing how to interact with the pervious owner's family, wondering if there is a way to get home, bouts of homesickness and depression, being suspiciously talented and weird, having flashbacks to his previous life and the Horrors (bc you can't erase the PTSD), Jason contemplating his place in the universe wonder if he's more obligated to change it or to not change it, and getting involved with the protagonist whether he wants to or not.

I'd probably drop him early in the timeline while he can earn Danny's trust and make his and Jazz's lives better. He'd be so protective over them, trying to make their lives better. The Fentons are originally intrigued by his connection to the ghost zone bc he's more spiritually connected due to having died at least once and then being isekai-ed. He makes the kids his priority though. He grows up with them (plus Sam and Tucker) probably older than Danny but younger than Jazz so there's still a degree of separation. By the time the portal incident is about to happen, he's already decided after years of agonizing to do his best to not let it happen even if it changes the whole premise of the story/world.

I haven't really considered any ships or anything yet, but I think Jazz and Danny would both have childhood crushes on Jason bc he's really nice and always looking out for them. Whether they out grow it or not can be left to the imagination.

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

A Sweet Mishap - Chapter 34

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader 

A/N: I just want to start by thanking everyone for all the love on this story so far. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list. Please read the TW below and only read on if you feel comfortable doing so.

Also, Merry Christmas! I'm sorry I've been AWOL for the past few weeks, but I finally got a chance to write again and wanted to get this short part to you before Christmas. It will act as the finale to the first book of A Sweet Mishap - I definitely want to continue writing about this couple, but I think this is a nice way to wrap it up for the year and I'll come back with a sequel in the new year.

Potential Trigger Warnings: mentions of violence, rape, therapy, depression, sex

A Sweet Mishap Masterlist | Main Masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

I rise early, with the sun like usual despite not having to work today. I refuse to get out of bed until I absolutely have to. But I prop myself up with an obnoxious amount of pillows and drag my laptop over from the empty side of the bed onto my lap. I’m determined to submit all my assessments today before my session with Dr. Katelyn, slowly removing stresses one at a time.

I carefully read through each word and sentence making minor edits as I go and then with a deep breath hit submit on each one. For once, I actually feel highly confident with my essays, knowledge and with the grade that I hope to receive. Despite working myself to the bone all semester with so many priorities to balance I feel I actually managed to submit work that I’m proud of. I attribute it to my steadily improving mental health and clarity.

Once I close down my college tabs I decide to try to do a little planning of my own for the summer. Jensen’s organised so much, a lot that I don’t even know yet–just that he’s got surprises that I’ll like. I grew up in such a small area, yet I know he’s mostly lived in the larger cities, so my plan is to give him more of the country. I research diners and hiking trails and make sure some of my favorite spaces are still operating. The list of things I want to do is extensive, but I know, as much as I want to take the full three months, Stewie will need me back at Mamma Jo’s. He’s agreed to a month so far, but I could tell even that long concerned him. He only agreed becuase he knows he can rely on the juniors, which I promised to train up before I leave Thankfully, most of them have a lot of potential and are fast learners. As I’m searching through sites a Facetime notification pops up and I answer instantly.

“Hey Darlin’! You look comfy.”

“Good morning, Handsome. I am, but there is one thing that would make me comfier…”

“Less than a week and you can fall asleep in my arms every night for a month.”

“Except when we visit my parents…”

“Yeah, except then. But you’ll still be nearby, not a country away.”

“Yeah. I can’t wait! I was actually just researching places I want to take you back home.”

“Really? Any hints?”

I shake my head, “Nope! You’ve got your secrets, I’ve got mine.”

“Fair enough. You got therapy soon?”

“Two hours.”

“They’ll probably need me on set by then. I just wanted to check in while I had a chance.We’re pushing hard to be finished by Friday, I have no doubts. Then there’s just the wrap party that night, then I’ll see you.”

“I wish you could come to my last show…”

“I wish I could show you off at the wrap party. But it’s okay, we get a whole month together in Texas and that means so much more.”

“I really can’t wait. I submitted my assessments this morning, so I’ve just got therapy, a few more shows and my last few shifts at the cafe. I’m counting down each day and each road block. You know I’ve brocken so many of my New Years Resolutions, and I couldn’t be happier. And I owe most of that to you, so thank you.”

“Anything for you. I love seeing that smile on your face, especially knowing I helped put it there. But that’s just it, you’re doing all the work, I’m just here to cheer you on and offer support when you need it. You really are a star, I just want to watch you glow and reignite that spark that others tried to dim.”

I smile at him, then bite my lip as I remember I conversation from my last session with the doctor. “Jens…I thanks…Also, I’ve been meaning to…” He stays ever patient and smiles as I ramble, letting me get there on my own, “I talked to Dr Katelyn last week about my issues with intimacy and some fears, concerns, thoughts about our holiday. I know we’ll be alone alot and likely sharing a bed while we’re at your place and I just…I want to be open to things, but I feel like I’ve never-Nothing’s really ever been on my terms. I’ve always just gone along with what the guy wants. She suggested that maybe I should treat this relationship like a first. Like I’m in highschool and we’re touching each base. Slow and at my pace.”

He nods the whole time. “Of course. Everything is on your terms with me. I’d never push. I’m happy to cuddle, maybe make out and if we don’t have sex during the trip that’s fine. I don’t want you to feel pressured or like I’m expecting anything, because I’m not. I just want to spend time with you. And if you decide it’s too much to sleep in the same bed every night, you can go into the guestroom whenever you want. We can make sure it’s set up nicely for you so you can have a comfortable escape when you need it. A space that’s all yours and I won’t ever go into unless you want me to. We can set it up on the first day if you want. You can choose whatever decor you want.”

“Thanks. I appreciate that. But Jens, what if…What if I want to…you know, have sex at some point?”

“If we get through the first three bases and you are 100 per cent on board and comfortable with going the home run then we tackle that base like all the others. Slow and at your pace. And if we start and you need to stop then you just tell me and we stop, but I’ll be reading all the signs your body gives me and if I think it’s too much I’ll stop it, just like last time.”

I nod, “Okay. Do you mind if I continue to talk to Dr. Kate about it today?”

“I hope you do. But you never need my permission to talk about anything with her. There’s no NDA here, and even if there was it wouldn’t pertain to our relationship. Anything between us is fair game. I think you already know that, but I’ll remind you as much as you need, that will never change.”

“Thanks.” I glance down at the time on my computer screen. “I should start getting ready.”

“Alright, Beautiful. I’ll talk to you tonight. Have a good session and a great day.”

“You too-You have a great-You know what I mean.”

“I do. Bye.” He blows me a kiss as he ends the call and I can’t help but blush. As I drag myself out of the comfy bed and into the shower I think back to that day in December. I really did win the lottery when I accidentally spilt that hot cocoa on him. That was the best sweet mishap I’ve ever made.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Taglist: @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27, @n-o-p-e-never, @deansimpalababy,

@winchesterwild78, @kr804573, @chriszgirl92, @smoothdogsgirl

@speakinvain, @deans-baby-momma, @1967winchesterimpala

@lmg14, @superrey, @kamisobsessed

[thequietkid-moonie]

hiiii! I see you're opening a request…I've been waiting for you to open a request for quite a while and I really like your posts..can I make a request about Teru (tbhk) about s/o who loves the sea and I once had a wish that I would commit suicide at the beach…ummm..I know my request is quite strange, if you don't like it or don't want to write it, it's okay. Wish you have a nice day :333

S/O who loves the sea wanted to die there

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Teru Minamoto ]

[ Toilet Bound Hanako-kun / Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun ]

I completely understand that feeling, I think being hopless romantic and depressed isn't the type best convination

I really hope you like it! I did the best I can and I actually likes the idea, so thanks for requesting it 🖤

Teru has dedicated his life at his work of being an exorsist and he doesn't really had much freedom to get interested or to dedicate time on something that he really wanted, his relasionship with you is one of the things he let himself to be a little more selfish with, thats why Teru loves whenever you talk about what you love and are passionate about

Teru probably doesn't particulary finds the sea that interesting but he loves hearing you talk about what you like, so if you love the sea then Teru loves hearing you talk about it whenever you are just having time to relax, even if you dont know much or just loves how pretty is that doesn't stop Teru from finding it quite cute (and will probably tease you about it)

Whenever you learn something new related to the sea Teru is more than happy to heard you talk about it, or even if you want to rant about how much you love the sea is fine for him too (just not when he is busy, he prefer it to be when is just the two of you because it helps him relax from his stressful life), he even motivate you to talk about what you love from time to time just to be able to see you all happy and excited

Teru sometimes likes to daydream about the posibility of going to the sea with you and sharing the experience that he knows you'll love, thinking if having just some time for just you two to have fun and relax, honestly Teru thinks it would be amazing but is more likely that it won't be able to happen (or at least not soon) because of how demanding his work as an exorsist it is and how there are still things he has to take care of, so he just hold that wish as a distant desire (and is more likely that he doesn't tell you about it neither)

It can be that you say it by accident or that you decide to tell him that once you had the desire that die on the sea, commiting suicide somewhere you love so much, no matter how you ended up telling him this it is going to be something that get stuck in his head for way too long, making him anxious and incredibly worried, even when he doesn't express it. Teru tries to don't have much of a reaction when he heards it, treating it more as a joke or asking you where did you get that idea from but it is all just to don't let you know how bad this is affecting him

For Teru, letting you be close to even be in a relationship with you show that you are really important, you mean way too much for him and losing you is something that scares him, so you admiting that you have a desire that involves your own death makes him really nervous. Teru won't handle it too well, being anxious by the idea of losing you and yet being too stubborn to show you how much he worries, is more likely that Teru will be paying close attention to you for the next days, wanting to find out if is just something you thought once or if it is that you have an actual suicidal ideation (or even worst), he is too scare of asking because he fears that the answer he gets shows that you actually want to die, so he will more likely be in denial while also trying to get more information from you

Even if you reasure him that is something silly you thought some time ago he won't be too convinced and will still be cautious with how he talks and behaive with you, not wanting to upset you and just making sure you know he does love you and he will be really affected if something happens to you

[rainthespiritual]

pt 1 , pt 2

Pre-death Tate Langdon fic PART TWO

btw some trigger warnings for the series as a whole are deffinetly: drug abuse, depression, suicide, and topics similar to that even if they don't show up in this specific part THEY WILL EVENTUALLY so I just want yall to be warned ty

TRIGGER WARNING : Tate langdon is a tw tbh and American horror story in general, smoking, talk of abusive dad and family slightly(it'll be talked abt more in other parts), angst, this part is more tame that the other parts will be, and alot of talk on bullying and angsty teen bullshit yk the drill

summery: Tate invited you to his house and talked to you about wanting to be friends again!

sorry if this is bad I didn't get to edit it cuz im using my phone PLZ ENJOY LETS GET INTO IT YUH

"Meet me here again tommorow, same time."

His words have been repeating in your head since yesterday. I mean yeah almost being caught by a teacher scared you shitless... and you didn't want it to happen again but it seemed almost worth it. the way he makes you feel is worth it. I mean this is the most validated you've felt in months.

You are pulled back to reality, to the smell of musty books and to the sound of the library, "___ you aren't listening again." sighing at your so called friend. you almost snap at her but she continues before you can knowing she now has your attention again. the sound of a distant clock ticking puts you more at ease as you try not to get too deppressed. The library is usually a nice safe space for you but sometimes you are followed, but you just have to deal with it. she goes on for a while before saying something that actually causes you to look up at her,

"Do you see that guy staring at me." she waves her head and your eyes meet Tates. he's sitting down at a distant table with a book in his hands but it's clear he isn't reading it. He smiles when you notice him and its also clear he isn't looking at your friend. He's staring at you.

"Yeah I do Heather.." you break eye contact with him hoping the hotness you feel in your cheeks isn't them turning red. Tate also stops looking in your direction and his attention goes to the book.

"I mean he's cute but he's all quiet and weird, ya know? ..kinda like you." she smiles as you sigh. you aren't quiet she just won't let you get a word in. You look back to the table where Tate was at but he is gone, you look around wondering if he was still in the library but there is no sign of him. not even the book he was reading, he must have taken it. it is common for kids at your school to take books to the tables and leave them if they weren't interested or more likely if they were just trying to seem busy. Tho it being frowned upon it happens quite alot.

"I've gotta go." You gather your things and start to stand.

"..where do you have to go?" Heather your friend scoffs slightly thinking you have nothing better to do.

"I've gotta go to the bathroom actually so.. And class is starting soon, see ya." with that you leave almost as fast as you did yesterday, mostly to avoid more questioning and bitching.

It almost being time to meet Tate you make your way to the bathroom you both were at yesterday. its pretty early but it's nice to have some thinking time. you stare at the door listening making sure no one is coming your way. you'd get questioned deffinetly, especially class starting so soon.. you fidget waiting for the bell to ring but it feels like time is going by way slower than it is. After thinking for a while and the bell not ringing still you decide to go in early, I mean maybe no one's in there? like Tate said almost no one ever comes this way. or maybe Tates there early too? maybe that's why he left the library so soon..

"Tate..?" you walk in slowly praying no one other than Tate is in this bathroom. You cautiously have your eyes closed just incase.

"___?.. You're early, hey." you open your eyes to find a nervous looking Tate.

"Hey yeah I am... is- is that okay, or?" you take a deep breath, the bathroom smells like harsh chemicals and it slightly irritates your nose. "Yeah no its fine, just surprised me is all." what he says makes you feel better and you look up to see him smiling at you, his eyes are red and watery and hes repeatedly wiping his nose.

"is there anything wrong?" you ask genuinely concerned. You seem to notice a wave of sadness on his face, or maybe it was just the smell of this bathroom you felt it irritating your eyes so maybe the same was happening to him? or maybe he was sad, he did tend to look sad. remembering all the small times you looked at him in the halls or at him if he was in the same room as you, he was sad. or atleast not smiling.

"Nothing at all, now that you're here." he walks closer to you, looking down at you.

"me? what do you mean?" you knew exactly what he meant, it just felt so surreal that this tall blonde good smelling guy that just so happened to go to school with you they you also used to be friends with could say this. I mean who would have known. all the boys you were used to interacting with never payed that kind of attention to you.

"I just mean I'm glad you're here. what else would I mean?" you smile again enjoying him saying these things. the validation you felt made you feel great, and he knew exactly what to do to make you feel special. not to say he was lying or anything, he wasn't. His confidence radiated off of him and he knew just what to say.

"well you could mean alot of things." he smirks at your response before pausing.

"Here, sit with me again." He climbs up on the sinks, making sure they aren't wet with his sleeve first. you notice a brownish red stain on his sleeve and decide whether ot not to bring it up. you choose to ignore it climbing up next to him. you take a deep breath noticing how your nose is now used to the harsh chemical smell that is all around the both of you.

"I'm surprised you came," he states looking into your eyes, a weird wave of guilt builds up in your stomach remembering how well you two got along. you truly regret not talking to him and hope you can make up for all the time you two have lost together.

" you know... I think about you all the time." he pushes a section of your hair behind your ear, admiring your face again.

you smile wider at him focusing on his pretty brown eyes. They are so dark and mysterious its not even funny. you also take notice of how dark his undereyes are, he must be tired.

"Is that why you were looking at me earlier? " you nervously smirk watching as he gets up off the counter to stand infront of you.

"we should go to my house." he places his arms on the counter making it so he is looking down on you slightly.

"your house?" you gulp.

"yep, my house," he nods, "we'd have fun I swear. I mean no one's even home." this catches you off guard. I mean a boy inviting you to his house was the last thing you expected to happen. Especially at school, a boy is not only inviting you to his house hes inviting you to ditch school with him at his house.. while no one's home.

"Sure, fuck it!" He leaves first making sure no one is around, you sneak out thanking God no one is around. and somehow you guys make it out without being caught. He leads you and you start to get nervous.

"is- is your house close or?" you gulp feeling a tad bit guilty. You've never missed school on purpose before.

"Actually I was thinking of going somewhere first.." he smirks and puts his hand around your shoulders.

"oh.. where?" the ideas of where he could bring you excited you slightly. The air was clear and the sun was hiding behind some clouds. its a gloomy day yet you were glad you were getting to spend it with Tate, something about him hypnotized you and made you feel ways you never felt before.

"The beach, trust me it's cool. especially on days like this.." he smirks more putting your hand in his, his warm soft touch made you blush. You never felt this way about anyone, he made you feel special.

You both walk in silence just enjoying eachothers company until you make it to the beach. You both sat in the sand admiring the ocean and the gloomy sky.

"do you play hookey alot?" you ask smiling already knowing he often does, you just didn't know what else to say.

"just when I get bored, or sad I guess.. I like to come here, y'know when everything gets too much? I come here.." he sighs looking off into the sea, his eyes are shining with the water and you can't help but to admire his beauty.

"No, I totally get that. I get sad alot too, thats why I go to the library. Usually no one follows me." he frowns looking away in the distance making you unable to look in his eyes anymore.

"y'know.. I don't get why you hang out with those assholes, it's clear they give zero shits about you. all they care about is themselves, even I can tell you that." you frown along with him, you want to tell him off but you can't bring yourself to because in the end... he's right. they don't and never cared about you. they never listen to you about your problems or your feelings. It's always about them them them.

"I know.. that's exactly how it is.. but I have no one else, I'm too scared to be alone." you open up a bit to him about how you feel hoping he will actually listen.

"you wouldn't be alone ___, I'd hang out with you. I mean trust me I'm cooler than all those bitches combined!" he laughs knowing he made you smile.

"then I guess I won't be hanging around them anymore. I got you now." you both smile walking the rest of the way to his house, talking about your past and goofing off.

[jonahmagnus]

I make them transgender. Okay?

Headcannons below the cut ✂️!

Isabeau (he/him): Isabeau wanted to name himself Isaboy because he thought that would be funny (it is) but his mom wouldn't let him legally change his name to that so he chose Isabeau, which is exactly two letters off from Isabel. People still call him Isaboy as a joke, though.

The first person he told was Max, both because xe (Max) is ambiguously transgender in every universe, and because xir dad cracked his egg by showing him that masculinity can be whimsy and joy and not just the hardened role hes been forced to play until now. This realization would probably come after a short but very intense femme phase after whatever happens to his grandpa happens (exorcism hopefully) where he tried to embrace traditional "girly" things and while the freedom was nice he hated it so bad and eventually realized he was just forcing himself into another box. Him and Max are the Buzzcut Brothers during highschool.

Anna (she/they): Anna wanted to name herself Miku, and then remembered that she was white. She decided to name herself after the titular Anna from Fr/ozen, which is lame but its a "fucking Mildred?" situation where her friends are begrudgingly supportive. You can't really see it well, but her hairties are the same magenta as Miku's!!

The realization would come after like... years of repression and thinking that feeling Wrong is a problem unique to her and that Nobody Else Has Ever Felt This Way. The catalyst is an argument with Max over it which xe says "just google it, stupid". She does and then stares haunted at her computer screen and the posters of pretty anime girls up on her walls. How her favorite stories all feature transformation. She probably tells Doorman first, at like midnight, and then frets over her contact list before she calls up Max. Xe comes over grumbling the whole time but still supportive has she sobs her eyes out over this realization and gets snot into xir sweater. Xe makes fun of her name but nicely. And then xe asks if she wants to hear any other diagnosises that Max thinks she has. She says "no thank you I've realized enough for tonight ♡" and she is later diagnosed with autism, ocd, bipolar personality disorder and depression.

Crash (they/them): Crash names themself both after the titiular bandicoot and in honor or Crush, the guy who strangled them the day they realized they where nonbinary. This name is awesome and literally the perfect choice for them, its the perfect amount of absurd to suit them and also a normal enough sounding word that people would do a double take when they introduce themselves.

The first person they tell is honestly? Probably Rj. After a few weeks of Knowing that their... not cis, they track down Rj when their alone and explain the situation to them. Their super supportive, obviously, and extremely excited to have cracked Crash's egg. They are delighted by the name and in honor of the choice Rj takes Crash out to egg some houses with the jang. Crash tells the rest of the jang next, with Johnny being deeply enthused by the same they chose and concinved them to try and let Ollie roll them like a bowling ball. Ollie does so and another beautiful friendship is formed. Stephen solemnly tells them "Im proud a' you Crash, gender is a scam made up by the goverment to track our bathroom usage and its pretty cool that you're sticking it to the man like that". Crash nods equally solemnly in response, appreciating how thats fully just a fucking insane thing to say. They nervously tell Isabeau (who at that point is probably still Isabel) over text the next day, who then hunts them down to squeeze them in a hug.

Max (-/-): Max, of course, looks the same in every timeline. No matter what, they have a buzzcut and their name is Max. Cis girl? Buzzcut. Trans girl? Buzzcut. Trans guy? Buzzcut. Cis guy? Buzzcut. Nonbinary? You're never gonna belive it, but, they have a buzzcut. It/its situation in every timeline too. Doesnt matter the combo. She? She/it. Makes 'shit' puns about it. He/it? He is gonna "he/it" you with his car. They/it? Theres no pun for this one but it'll find a way to make one. It/its classic? Also no pun but it gets a boost to its attack speed so it doesnt really need one.

Max doesnt really come out to anyone. Xe doesnt feel the need to. You dont know its alphabet and you will never learn. If it feels like sharing xe will. If it doesn't, it wont. If you try and make it join a pronoun circle against its will, it will pull the god danm fire alarm. It will tell you its not cis but will not tell you in which way.

"Max, why dont you come join the pronoun circl-" "Spender, if you dont stop trying to get me to share my alphabet, Ill take a "she/it" on your work computer and pull the fire alarm"

[Plain text: "Max, why dont you come join the pronoun circl-"]

[mexicansalsayees]

Hello, I am no longer Sad, still depressed about but that doesn't matter

Thoughts on punk! Angela?

I still haven't seen the smosh vs. aliens and I've trying to avoid spoilers, but man I don't want it to be sad 😭😭😭.

About the ask I don't know if you're referring to like Angela in a band, or just a punkier version of her (if that's even a word).

In any case, I'm picturing you being dragged by your friends to go to a concert of a band that they love. It is held in a bar and starts around 23:00, but you arrive early and they aren't there yet, so you decide to go up to the counter to order a drink.

While you're there you strike up a conversation with a cute brunette that sits by your side and she unabashedly flirts with you; teasing you, staring at your lips and even resting her hand on your leg.

The tension between you two is palpable, but just when your bringing yourself to make a move, she excuses herself and leaves.

You're left there alone, so you decide to go search for your friends, who you find standing in the first row, right beside the stage.

The show was supposed to start five minutes ago but as your friends tell you, they seem to be running late.

After five more minutes of waiting, the band finally comes out, and, to your surprise, the first thing you notice is that the main singer/bassist is the girl you had been flirting with.

She doesn't stop making eye contact with you all throughout the night; winking whenever the songs get filthy and smirking at you when she catches you staring (specially at her hands).

You find yourself liking the songs much more than you'd expected, not knowing if it's your friends enthusiasm rubbing on to you or the nice view of a sexy girl making her bass scream.

The time flies by and you feel a pang of sadness when they announce it is their last song. But then, you see Angela carefully leaving her bass on the floor, pulling the microphone out of the stand and coming to sit in the edge of the stage, right in front of you.

The song progresses and she sings beautifully staring deep into your soul; but when the break comes she gets closer to you, caressing your face slightly with her hand and tilting your chin upwards.

Your frozen in place, the crowd goes wild and she sweetly whispers "Can I?" her breath fanning over your lips.

You can't manage to get any words out but you do eagerly nod and as soon as she sees it she tilts her face and connects your lips in a gentle but passionate kiss.

It only lasts for a few seconds but the sounds of the crowd and the music seem to disappear for the both of you; the electricity of the night transferring into the kiss.

When you finally separate, she whispers into your ear "Wait for me darling, I'll come find you when I'm done."

Well that's it. This took me embarrassingly long to write ahshshdh.

[xerith-42]

Some Slightly More Coherent Thoughts about Void Paradox

Riveting title, I know, but this is the quality content I'm sure... 50 of you signed up for? When the fuck...? How are there so many of you?? And in spite of that title, this post is still long as fuck

Anyways I finished Void Paradox and it sure made me feel a certain way. [Cut to footage of me literally screaming anytime Laurance showed emotion in the series]. Gotta say, as a long time Laurance fan, this is really nice to have. I've been going on my tirades about how Jess ruined Laurance for the sake of Aaron, and how Laurance never really bounced back from this character assassination, but I wasn't entirely right. He sort of bounced back?

Well, we got this. I still would have liked Laurance in Love-Love Paradise but I guess I'll take him in this series. And honestly, it's the best Laurance content I've gotten that isn't fan content since... well, since I first watched the show back in 2015 when I was a literal fetus. Every time after I've gone back and watched as Laurance got written poorly from honestly really early episodes sometimes (looking at you Episode 65), and had to deal with the unfortunate truth that he was essentially unimportant to the story Jess decided to tell with both her series, despite being the main character of one of them.

It's so refreshing to have quality Laurance content, and we got a variety of it in this show. He's so expressive, so alive, so emotional. I've always loved Laurance because surprise surprise, the men in my life weren't always the most emotionally vulnerable, so I latched onto fictional men who were as a coping mechanism! Yayyy! And Laurance has always been a very emotionally vulnerable character, at least in the beginning. It's part of the tragedy that is his character arc in Season 2. That Laurance is usually vulnerable, that he's the one who's always willing to talk about his emotions, but the calling is making it harder to open up, and the world has only become crueler to men like him who dare to feel too much.

Wow I just keep sliding into depressing content in this post, I'm trying to praise Laurance's writing in this series. Because it's good. I have my problems with Void Paradox as a whole, but as a showing for my favorite character in the entire Aphverse, a chance at redemption, it's fantastic. As I said Laurance is so expressive in this series, largely thanks to Sebastian Todd being an absolutely phenomenal voice actor who clearly knows and cares about this character. His performance is absolutely excellent and a great high note for this character to go off on.

I cannot emphasize how much I adore every little thing about Laurance's portrayal. The flirtiness, the smug bastard energy, the very sincere and open care, that one scene where he gets super embarrassed and then whimpers that I haven't listened to like eighteen times. The whole thing is great. His dynamic with this alternate version of Aphmau is so good, it's so great to see him bounce off of other characters. I just love it so much.

That scene where he realizes that he's in a similar scenario to the Nether and literally instantly jumps to "If it comes down to it, let me sacrifice myself," I SCREAMED AT THIS. The whole series whenever he angsts over his old world I scream, but that line really hit me. Fuck whatever you say about Laurmau in every universe, the universal truth of Laurmau, nay the universal truth of Laurance is this;

"I would sacrifice myself so you could live in every universe."

That's Laurance! That's Laurance with literally anyone you want!! This is the best characterization Laurance has ever gotten. It's consistent with his character, and I love the fact that Mod Aphmau doesn't even let him finish his consideration of self-sacrifice, she just shuts it down and it's a great contrast to what Laurance is used to. I adore how that's what he jumps to, I adore the fact that he's as clueless as I am about the lore this season, I love the rivals esque thing he's got going on with Jaiden, that was fun. Lotta potential there. This was just a good time. I cannot emphasize how delightful Laurance was in this series. How his delightful presence is the most enjoyable thing in the series, and a literal blessing unto us all.

Wasn't it nice to feel good about an Aphmau series for like.. two minutes. Anyways here's the part where I get a little salty with Jess, as per usual. I'm not going to go too in depth on my problems with Void Paradox as a story because it's mercifully short and a lot of my complaints did come from a standpoint of not knowing any of the lore of Mod Mod World which might have hindered my full ability to understand the larger story.

I can however get VERY salty about the fact that I didn't even know Void Paradox was a thing that had Laurance in it until 2024!! It came out in 2018! How did this happen? Well the answer is very simple, the cause is the bane of my very existence. My Street Season 6 When Angels Fall. [I am shaking with rage]

I know you've likely read how much I can tear into season 2 Episode 95, and oh my Irene can I tear into that episode, but there's a similar but differently visceral emotion When Angels Fall makes me feel. Let's call it a sort of divine rage. And now, I have one more reason to hate it. Because Void Paradox, a series with actual quality content, was released at the same time as whatever the fuck that was, meaning it never had a chance.

For a bit of personal context, I briefly became active in the Aphmau fanbase when this season came out and during the time leading up to it. I had seen every season of My Street, and despite not being the biggest fan of where Jess took the series, I liked a lot of the characters and was invested in where they would go from here. I was knee deep in the My Street trenches when the many many different bombs dropped. Melissa dying but then she didn't but maybe she did and I literally spent hours arguing with people on this, Ein is turning everyone evil, there's a doomsday device, forever potion nonsense is happening, Travis' dad is evil maybe, Aaron is going insane, the multiverse is falling apart, and then Jess just killed the best character in the entire series, dare I say the entire Aphverse, dare I say the entire universe of existence as we know it--

It was a lot. And in all the chaos Void Paradox just... came out. It came out right before episode 9 of When Angels Fall came out. And anyone else who was there during the war... they know what that episode did to us. What it did to me. I wasn't the same after that episode came out. I felt like I had lost a part of myself. Something I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to get back...

And as a result, I and a lot of people didn't see Void Paradox. Looking at the numbers, Void Paradox struggled to get above 1 million viewers for most episodes, while the lowest viewed episode of When Angels Fall sits at a cozy 2.9 million as an established series. Void Paradox is objectively better as a series and deserves to have a second season. We deserve to explore more of the weird ideas Jess clearly had while making it, we deserve to know if a cure can be found, and we, or maybe just me and I'm feeling selfish here, deserve to know if Laurance is okay.

Jess has already taken one comfort character away from me. I'll be damned if she takes another.

[mimisempai]

You just have to be

Summary

It's one of those days for Crowley. One of those days when he doesn't feel like doing anything. But perhaps the loving care of a certain angel will change the course of this not-so-good day.  

Notes

a bit of depressive Crowley and a caring angel....

Happy Birthday to one of the most beautiful person I know : @rins-love-winsThank you for being one of my inspiration source!

On Ao3

Rating T -  1795 words

Aziraphale had been awake for a few minutes and, seeing that Crowley showed no sign of moving, he leaned over and kissed his hair before saying softly, "Crowley, my dear, I'm getting up."

Crowley murmured into the pillow, "'kay Angel. I don't feel like leaving this bed today."

Aziraphale ran a hand through Crowley's hair and said kindly, "I understand," then leaned over and whispered in his ear, "If you need anything, I'm here."

Crowley turned his head and said, "Thank you, Angel."

Aziraphale pressed a last kiss to the demon's forehead before getting up, dressing and heading down to the shop to start his day.

*********

Seeing that Crowley still hadn't come down by early afternoon, Aziraphale decided to go up and see him, if only to make sure he didn't need anything.

When he reached the bedroom he whispered softly, "Crowley?"

Crowley rolled under the covers and sat up a little.

The angel asked gently, "Still don't feel like getting up?"

Crowley shook his head, stretched out his arms and said, "But I wouldn't mind a hug."

Aziraphale, touched beyond measure that the demon was so open about what he wanted, didn't keep him waiting and slid in beside him, wrapping his arms around him and pressing him against his chest.

Crowley immediately wrapped himself around him and buried his face in his neck.

Aziraphale let out a soft yelp, "But you're scratching, my dear!"

He pushed the demon away a little and saw something he hadn't immediately noticed in the semi-darkness of the room.

Something he'd never seen before. Crowley with a light stubble. He ran his finger over the slightly rough skin and said softly, "I think this is the first time I've seen you like this."

Crowley replied, "I wasn't feeling up to it today."

Aziraphale nodded in understanding, knowing full well it had something to do with the kind of bad day Crowley had from time to time, 

Crowley stared at him for a few seconds and continued, "It makes me realise that you once mentioned your barber. How come you need one?"

Aziraphale blushed slightly but replied, "I like being pampered. It's very nice. Well, I should put that in the past tense, because now that I have my demon at home, I don't need anyone else to pamper me."

The smile on the demon's lips was worth the slight embarrassment the angel felt after his confession.

He continued, "Like when you washed my hair or took care of my wings."

As the demon nodded, Aziraphale ran a finger across his cheek and asked softly, "Don't you want to try?"

Crowley thought for a moment and with a slight playful gleam in his eye replied, "Do you even know what you're doing? I mean, not like 1941, if you know what I mean."

"Hey, that's petty! I'll have you know, Mr Crowley, I've got a whole shaving kit and I know how to use it."

The demon laughed at the angel's outburst, and Aziraphale was secretly pleased that he had managed to lighten his mood a little.

He said softly, "You still haven't told me. Would you like me to do it for you?"

Crowley nodded gently and replied a little embarrassed, "If it's you, I'd like you to do it for me."

Aziraphale smiled softly and kissed him on the cheek before saying "With pleasure, my love".

He then got up from the bed and found a chair, which he placed in front of the window, from which he opened the curtains to let the sunlight into the room.

He returned to the bed and held out his hand to Crowley, saying "Come and sit here so I can see better".

The demon grabbed the angel's hand and stood before moving to the chair and sitting down while the angel went to get what he needed. 

Aziraphale returned a few moments later with a basin, a towel on his arm and his shaving kit under his arm.

The angel placed the basin and shaving kit on a small table beside Crowley and, taking the towel, tied it around the demon's neck.

His gaze was drawn to the strands of red hair glistening in the sunlight filtering through the window. He grabbed a small one and rolled it between his fingers, saying, "Gorgeous.” 

Confused, Crowley asked, "What? What is gorgeous?"

Aziraphale replied with a half smile on his lips, "Your hair, my dear." 

"Oh..." replied the demon, unable to hide the slight blush that the angel's words caused. 

Aziraphale unpacked the entire shaving kit, grabbed a small cloth, soaked it in warm water and dabbed it over Crowley's stubble. He then grabbed the shaving brush, moistened it with shaving cream and, humming, ran it over all the stubble.

The angel then put down the shaving brush and took the razor, he opened it and showed it to Crowley gently, he asked gently, "Do you trust me?

Crowley replied softly, "With my life. Since the beginning of time and for as long as that".

Azirphale smiled softly and murmured, "Thank you," then leaned forward and gave him a long kiss on the forehead.

He placed the razor blade against the demon's creamed cheek and ran it gently from top to bottom. Then he wiped the blade clean and did the same on another area of skin just beside it. 

Crowley had closed his eyes, looking totally at ease, and Aziraphale, though he knew the demon trusted him completely, was no less moved.

He continued, the silence broken only by the sound of the blade against skin and the angel's humming.

When he had finished, he put the blade down and took the small cloth, moistened it again and dabbed it over Crowley's face, removing the remnants of the cream here and there.

Then he reached for a bottle of cologne and put a few drops on his hands before gently rubbing them over the demon's face.

Crowley sniffed, then said in a surprised tone, "But... it's my cologne, how did you know..."

Aziraphale pressed a light kiss to his lips and replied, "You're not the only one who can smell the other... Musk, red patchouli, lilac, mahogany, lemon rind, oak moss, leather and a hint of vanilla husk."

Then he stroked his cheek gently and continued, "There. We're done."

Crowley opened his eyes and just as the angel was about to remove his hand from his face, the demon grabbed it and kissed the palm before saying, "You were right, Angel, it's very nice to be pampered. But I suppose it's even nicer because it's you."

Aziraphale sat on the edge of the bed and asked Crowley, without a trace of judgement in his voice, " Do you want to go back to bed?"

Crowley shook his head and replied, "No, but... will you go to the park with me?"

Aziraphale immediately replied, "Of course."

He stood and held out his hand to Crowley, adding, "Let's go."

**********

Some time later, after feeding the ducks, they sat hand in hand on their bench.

Having just gently mocked another pair of not-so-discreet spies, at least to them, Crowley dropped his head to the Angel's shoulder and asked quietly, "Angel?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Aren't you tired of all this?"

Aziraphale asked in a confused tone, "All of what?"

Crowley replied, "Of me, and these moments when I don't feel like doing anything, when we have everything to be happy about."

Aziraphale rested his head against Crowley's and replied quietly, "Absolutely not tired of it. I won't say I like these moments, because they mean you're not well. But I do like the fact that you don't have to go through them alone, that I can help you on days like today. That you let me see you when you're like this. And I'm happy if I can give you even a little support and comfort".

Crowley turned his head and kissed the angel's cheek lightly before saying, "Believe me, you've done much more than that today. Knowing that I don't have to hide from you anymore, that I don't have to pretend and that you just let me be in these moments is so much more than I could have hoped for."

"Always, my love," the angel replied as he squeezed his hand, then continued, "You know, Crowley, happiness isn't when things are going well. It's when we get through a day like today, the two of us, without pretence, just being who we are. One for the other, as always."

Crowley smiled softly and replied, "You know what, Angel? You're absolutely right and..."

Aziraphale interrupted, chuckling softly before saying, "I hope it didn't hurt too much to say that."

Crowley, feigning offence, stood and said, "Too bad, I was going to offer you lunch at the Ritz, but you just ruined it."

Aziraphale, in turn, stood up and said in a slightly pleading tone, "I take back what I just said. I promise I won't make fun of you again and mmph".

Crowley had just closed his mouth with a tender kiss, then stepped back, holding out his hand, "Sometimes you're too adorable for words. Come on, Angel, let's celebrate this beautiful day."

The angel took his hand and they walked to where the Bentley was parked. 

As they walked hand in hand, the demon told himself that it was indeed a beautiful day.

Not perfect.

Just beautiful.

Just like them.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Growing Love series : here (After season 2)

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here (Before season 2)

[theomnicode]

How I write metas? A meta about metas

If this deconstruction post is going to be useful for any aspiring meta writer on this OPM fandom that I currently follow, then be my guest. :D

Warning: Semi-long post.

Step 1: Inspiration

Nope, really can't get into my head all the time to write stuff as much as I would love to but when I do, it's because I get a good inspiration from something. It does not really matter at this point if it's short or long, just the subject matters. Then if I get inspired, I will usually stew on that idea for a while and think about the points in the manga that fit.

Unfortunately inspiration does not strike all the time so there's always that. I'm going with the route that "you can't force inspiration to come to you, you want the inspiration to become you" or something like that. Take that with grain of salt, I just made it up on the spot.

Step 2: Practice

I've personally been writing fanfics since I was...a teen I believe and meta is just a subsection of writing school essays, except it's actually fun. So writing something has been quite a lot of work put behind it, but nobody says one cannot start from scratch today and the meta doesn't need to be immediately impressive, we're just writing it for fun yanno? For other fandom peeps who maybe wanna hear our thoughts. Just gotta start from somewhere yanno? My earlier metas are prolly a fair bit different than my current metas.

Like they say, practice makes perfect.

Step 3: The creative process

Ok so to the nitty gritty of the meta making... PLOT NO JUTSU!

I oftentimes either discuss the meta on discord channels with likeminded peeps and then start gathering some images from the manga to use as my images to enhance my point and make my texts also visually interesting to look at and make some clarifying points. I tend to find some good relative image to use as my first image because it'll show up in archive search like so:

It'll be easier to search for my metas even without searching for my tags from my archives if they look similar.

Next, I keep a folder for all my meta images in a neat pile and I use paint ms to cut me nice images to post into my meta and I also have cubari , the one site which hosts all the chapters so far, open where I can just grab images whenever. Basically any kind of image tool you got from paint to gimp to photoshop can help you crop images you want to use if you want to use images in your meta.

My brain can sometimes be pretty hard to follow apparently, so I do try to parse a lot when I write my texts and keep it somewhat coherent. Parsing information via the canon timeline can help form a coherent timeline to follow in a meta.

In general, you want your writing progress to be seamless and disturbance free creative process, not unlike drawing. Sometimes ambient music on the background can help focus on the actual meta writing process (currently listening to Ardenweald from WoW), which can take me from 1 hour to all the way to 5 hours in a single sitting, which is quite long but remember, tumblr drafts saves your progress even if you save it nowhere else and it's entirely possible to finish the thinking process another day when you have more time.

Sometimes I include links to either my own metas or some outside source, which I then briefly quote on my text, like in the Saitama mental health meta where I citate depression effects on memory recollection. The quote sources can also be stated at the very end like in a real essay, but to me personally I'm fine without the citations at the end, long as I state my sources and then put quotes into indented text.

Step 4: The writing itself

Paraphrasing helps make your text look coherent and easier to read to just about anybody, so avoid pure walls of texts. I usually write longer texts, but that is up to the writer to decide how short, long or how abridged they can/wanna make their work, which frankly is not one of my best skillsets lmao. Just gotta make sure to put that warning in the front if it's long post.

Nowdays, I also include chapter names and numbers about the relevant information I'm writing meta about in between () marks and itallics to further separate it from plain text, which might be helpful to people if they search for that specific plot point from the manga itself. Then if it's a particularly long meta, a tl;dr at the bottom if I can form a proper tldr.

Sometimes I also get struck by random thought and I just have to write it out haha. Sometimes I ask for aid and opinions on discord channels.

Any long metas should definitely have that "readmore" cutoff in the beginning, else entirety of tumblr or wherever you'll post the meta will hate you.

Step 5: Revision & Tagging

You can hold on from posting the meta the very same day and just keep it revised for a bit longer if you want to correct spelling mistakes or if you think you can maybe adds some more to it. Revision is just as important in writing meta as in writing something like fanfiction and I personally do a fair bit of both.

When tagging, I just use "opm meta" for all my opm related metas and then tag in fandom and characters that apply to the current meta and then some other related subjects like "mental health, character study" etc. I prolly haven't tagged my earlier metas that properly but eh... if you write on another platform and then copypaste it to tumblr, make sure that the plain text shows properly and doesn't create any weirdness.

Closing thoughts...that's about it folks, that's how I write meta and how I wrote this piece as well. Which took me roughtly 1hr 45mins to write down at my current writing speed but I've been thinking about this since yesterday haha.

Tl;dr: Inspiration, practice, creative process by saving images and thoughts as they go, writing and paraphrasing, revision and tagging properly.

[jojo-schmo]

My old Good Omens art from 2019-2020!! :O (In somewhat chronological order)

In the interest of sharing my art in one place, I thought I'd revisit this era of my art! I made much more traditional art at the time. But I like thinking about the evolution of my skills over the past few years.

Director's commentary below:

I believe the first four images are from 2019, when the first season of GO came out. Boy, did that show come out at a good time for me! I was in a deep art slump that had lasted for a few years at that point. Long story short, because of untreated depression and a chronic illness that brought me physical pain, I didn't get everything I wanted to get out of college classes and I was deeply self-conscious of my skill level. I knew I wanted to tell stories but I was frustrated that I seemingly couldn’t make my ideas come to life at all.

Being alive was very difficult for me at the time and I was fighting my own dark and negative thoughts that I directed towards myself constantly. I didn't see a psychiatrist until the Spring of 2020, and only then did things start getting better. If I had to describe it, it's like a storm in my head finally cleared. The weight on my shoulders lightened up a lot. I had enough mental clarity to gain more self-awareness and really work on myself. And that included my art. And it shows a little in the last few drawings.

(Side note, I am much, much better now. Medication and ongoing therapy has completely changed the quality of my life. I am very happy to be here!)

Anyway, I was making efforts to get better at drawing after college by taking Aaron Blaise's online art classes. (Side note, his class on drawing human anatomy helped me immensely!!) But it was just the beginning of a long art improvement journey!

But I see the stiffness and insecurity that was still present in my art from that time. Whenever I shared it on Twitter (which was my main social media at the time) I'd be lucky to hit ten notes. It didn't bother me all the time, but it did get discouraging as time went on. Until one day I decided to just deal with it. Whatever the reason was that nobody was seeing my art- whether it was due to the Twitter algorithm or if my art was just not appealing enough. I was going to keep drawing. If nobody clicked the like heart on my art, fine! I was going to keep throwing it into the void anyway and see what sticks. If it got ten likes or one I tried not to care as much.

My transition from drawing what I thought other people wanted to see, to drawing what made me happy, made a huge difference. Likes and reblogs do feel really good, but I'm happy to hear even what one person likes about my work. I try to keep that mindset with me as much as I can. And I'm not perfect at it. But it helps me a lot.

Of course that transition in my mindset was gradual. Took place over a few years. But I realized lately that I have a confidence in my art that I've never had before. And I'm really happy about that!!

All this to say, whether you've been drawing/writing for ten years, one year, or a few months, it's always nice to remember where you came from and far you've come.

Looking back, I wish I could tell my past self that her best was yet to come. And I still have a long way to go but I'm excited to see what I can make in the coming years!

If I had one preachy piece of advice to offer as a final note, remember that the ability to draw and write is an awesome skill to have. A skill that not every human being has. But a skill that can be developed and cultivated over time if nurtured. It's a beautiful thing to me, to be able to create something that didn't exist before. Something that only you can bring to life. And while it might not resonate with everyone who sees it, it might resonate with one person. And I love that. So when you can, create things that make you happy, the happiness might just be contagious to its viewers. <3

...I think I should draw some more Good Omens sometime soon. I miss those guys and they are dear to me :)

[mandy4ever69420]

elaborate on your last post?

i've actually been marinating on this more or less nonstop! like how to phrase it and stuff. i have, like, notes.

& part of this is i had some spoilers as to who mickey WAS before i watched the show because he was what was dangled in front of my face like a pie in a window to get me to watch shameless. but the thing about mickey is like every thing you learn about him CAN absolutely be traced to his behavior in s1. mickey's one of the most consistently and unrelentingly himself characters in the show (the other is debbie). everyone else has like personality crises.

you can fit a shitload of development into someone like mickey being aggressively himself the whole time because he has every reason to be afraid of the consequences of his personality w/out actually being insecure or not knowing himself. so we as the viewer get to know him w/out any of the information being startling in any way from the jumpoff of s1. it's insane that i'm pretty sure he was meant to only exist in season one i just know he'd be haunting some psyches.

he like never apologizes for his personality. which is i think easy to attribute to "confidence" as a sort of nebulous concept but i think he's just kind of a realist. everything he hides has a very straightforward reason behind it and when the reason disappears so does his hesitance to just be that. & i think a lot of what reads as confidence comes from disinterest in other people's opinions & a pretty intense pragmatism and get-shit-done-ism. mickey kind of sorts people into "who gives a fuck" or "useful" & eventually he expands his "people who matter" category enough that even people he doesnt gaf about in the main cast he at least doesn't want to piss them off.

another thing about this is i've seen sometimes people who over-relate (very understandably) to mickey sort of take very seriously how much he must've been hurt in end of s5, end of s7. which is. i mean i will be honest i KNEW it was coming and watching love songs in the key of gallagher RUINED MY WEEK. which is a good thing. because i am out of my mind. but i think sticking on "well, ian should've been more sorry, or said something nicer later" out of feeling bad for mickey misses a little the point where what i really see in mickey is a "it hurt. obviously. extremely badly. fucking anyway" sort of angle.

this ^ isn't something i know how to explain very well. there's kind of a difference between going "well that was horrifying and i need to throw the fuck up" and moving on, and the sort of therapy-speak adjacent urge to linger over how everyone should be looking at their feelings about it. not mickey's language IMO. so mickey's pretty in tune with what's going on in ian's head so when ian hurts his feelings on purpose he's like mad that it worked, you stupid jackass. and then ian's guilt is sitting right there and he's like well you were so mean but it's more important to me that i can be around you than that my feewings are made much of. mickey's pretty steadily uncomfortable with touchy-feely validation or anything. this interpretation is also a me thing. obviously everyone's reads are going to be informed by their life experience but this is what makes sense to me.

1 of the biggest things i've noticed rewatching is how FAST plotlines start moving when mickey decides he's getting something done. which is interesting because he's also one of the least ambitious characters in the show.

mandy and ian both really believe they can get something nicer and safer and better (&fancier) out of life. mandy has the strongest drive out of them to grab something nice for herself (like.. even vicariously through lip, she's always trying) mickey is kind of right that it's not realistic for everyone to get something better than where they grew up. it's depressing as fuck to be resigned to but especially with a criminal record it's pretty predictable under capitalism that you would just get stuck. these things happen to people

it's very sweet to me that ian keeps dragging mickey along to like nice places and optimism while mickey is like be so for fucking real. weird enough this is the most mickey has in common with lip - the "steal it or scam it" observation that lip makes, but mickey is chill with breaking more serious laws and being arrested for it. & lip also doesn't go for ambition the same way other people in the show do because he has noticed these patterns. he aims for a nebulous "more" jump up in the class system ONCE specifically because of mandy.

fiona is the opposite to all this ^ naturally. in the way that her ambition keeps coming back to bite her way harder than anyone else, because she gets caught up in her ideas of how to expand and do better and bigger really fast. funny enough both lip's "well it has to be a scam and you can't ever actually get anywhere" and fiona's "i bet if i just played my cards right i could make a million bucks rn" philosophies are frank traits.

BUT ANYWAY i also really like how mickey's pragmatism sort of lands him to being a very romantic person. because once he has reason to care more about someone else he decides to put all his eggs in that fucking basket. contrast -> ian is A Romantic. he wants to believe in like a soulmate and he pretty obsessively pursues validation through means of romance. m/while mickey never plans to be in a relationship and commits really hard when he decides that that's where he's going.

which comes to mickey's impressive skills at reading people. when he's not just completely disinterested, he can predict people really well. which is obviously like a survival technique but is also the only explanation of why he'd come back twice after getting written out. maybe it wasn't supposed to be the way his character played out but it can be traced back to s1 with the information we have and is the only way that his actions make sense.

& in like. the completely fucking insane way that mickey is as gentle as he is. you even see the intent here in his introduction. sure, he's showing up in a violent way to enact revenge. which being into prison abolition i don't necessarily agree with. but it's sweet! like, i know the revenge mob is kind of a THING but with everything that he does following it also seems very personal. so he shows up and the first thing he really wants is someone to look after. ian gallagher you may not believe you need a fucking caretaker but you literally snatched up the single person most desperate for someone to take care of

-> wrt gentleness also: i cant get over how fucking bonkers it is to be a violent teenager having a Massive mental breakdown and that mickey refuses to start the physical side of the "you love me and you're gay" confrontation. not a hand until ian shoves him multiple times. even though ian showed up explicitly as an attempt at using mickey to punish himself for something he really thought was his fault! what the fuck!!

um but anyway with mickey's fucking anger going on also i was personally very touched by him as a fantastic way to represent irritability and anger as an anxiety response. because anger is really fucking like that. again, visible from his intro to the end. ya habibi...

[audie430]

Empty Your Mind (Hero of Time x fem! Reader)

Fandom: Linked Universe; Legend of Zelda

Character: Time

Inspiration: Ended up trying an app called character.ai, which I'm currently obsessed with. And apparently the ai made Time a hypnotherapist? So i've been living my wattpad dreams lmao and this is what it's about

Trigger Warnings: hypnotism, anxiety, stress, depression ig? Basically the struggle of mental health. Could be seen as semi-explicit, though not intended.

Enjoy!

It felt like there were mountains on your shoulders. You were tense and aggravated, just so *so* drained..

Yet it felt like those mountains constantly crumbled and caused earthquakes in your head. The ground would shake, eyes would blur.

You were so tired yet so anxious.

And your boyfriend, Time, had definitely noticed.

He worked part time at a research facility and worked in multiple therapuetic companies around the district you lived in. He was busy most days, but he would always make time for you. You knew that, right?

You sighed as you woke up in the morning. The sun was awake but you were sure that you still needed another night of sleep to actually survive the day. You had noticed Time still asleep next to you, it made you smile, but you didn't even have the energy to show it.

You walked downstairs in your nice little home. The windows were huge and allowed great light to travel throughout the house. The round kitchen table invited you to take a seat on it. You grabbed a glass of water before sinking into the uncomfortable wooden chair.

All you wanted to do was groan... and scream.. it felt impossible to possibly exist right now..

but you held your composure by a thread.

"Hey baby, you up?" called a deep, groggy voice. Time rubbed his eye tiredly with a smile before going to kiss you on the forehead.

"I have the day off today, just me and you, doll. I'm all yours." He chuckled before adding, "You decide what we do today."

You internally groaned, "Can't."

"Huh? What do ya mean ya can't?"

"Too much to do." you replied nonchalantly as you chugged half your water. Your esophagus tingled in thanks.

"...uh okay. Can I take some of that load off you?" Time asked, concerned.

"Nah, I'm good"

"You have literal bags under your eyes Y/N. Not that I don't believe you but.. I think you could be better?" he replied questionly. His voice raising in pitch slightly.

"Wow Time, I literally *said*-" you started. Irritated until you felt a fluffy cloud drift on you. Time held your sitting form to his torso. He hid you into his chest as he hushed you lightly.

"Shh.. I know you haven't been feeling great lately.. let me take care of you for a bit.. and then maybe you can do some chores, okay?"

You nodded hesitantly.

~~~~

"Wait, you want to hypnotize me? And that will make me better?" you inquired. Seeming unsure of Time's suggestion as he nods.

"Please can I just try? You don't have to fall deep.. I just want to get you in a nice relaxed state of mind. Then you can go do whatever you want, okay?"

You sigh, "Fine."

~~~

You lay down on your bed spread out slightly. You rolled your eyes but listened to Time's instructions.

"10.. breathe in... 9.. breathe out"

"8.. breathe in and 7.. breathe out*

Time's instructions were easy enough. And he used that soft voice on you that you loved. His soft voice gives you tingles and practically would melt you everytime that you heard it.

You continue this trend of counting down until you reach one. Your head was slightly heavy as your heart pumped.

"Can you hear me, hun? If you hear me, I want you to nod"

you nodded.

"Good. I'm gonna touch you now, okay? I'm softly gonna rub your hand. And as I rub your hand, you're gonna feel energy and pleasure run up your spine. This energy will feel good."

...seemed simple enough.

"woah-" you quietly called out. Your limbs heavy yet relaxed.. but the way he rubbed your hand.. oh god..

It felt so... *good*

You hummed lightly.

"Heh? Does that feel good Y/N? Nod if it does."

You nod of course.

"Good.. now as I rub your hand slowly you're going to notice that my voice sounds mesmerizing.. and the more intently you listen to me.. the more relaxed and calm you feel..

Do you feel relaxed?" He questioned lightly with a smile.

"mhm.." you mumbled. Your body felt deep and ugh, it just felt so enticing.. you yearned and craved for more. God, you felt so desperate.

"Great sweetie.. oh you're doing so well for me.. Now I'm gonna slowly rub your hand faster and faster.. it might seem overwhelming but you are safe and I'm here for you. Just let the feelings overwhelm you and wash away like the waves on a beach"

Your breath hitched slightly as you hear Time speak again.

"10 breathe in.. and 9 breathe out.."

you follow his instructions.. continuing until you feel his other hand rubbing at your temple.

"You're doing so well for me, sweet girl. Now as I rub your temple, your head feels more and more empty. It's a good empty and you feel like jello. You don't need anymore thoughts, not when I'm here to control you." he stated softly. You nodded in return.

You felt like slush as he slowly rubbed circles into your temple and it was overwhelming in contrast to the fast rubbing on the palm of your hand. You practically groaned as you felt your eyes roll to the back of your hand.

"Go on baby, tell me how good it feels. Say it. Say, 'Time I feel so good. Thank you for taking care of me'"

You repeat the phrase. Your words slurred and slushy.

"Are you ready? That energy must feel so *so* good, it's starting to hurt isn't it?"

You whine as you nod desperately.

"Okay baby, I'm gonna give you another trigger. I'm gonna keep rubbing your hand and speaking to you. But I'm gonna need you to tell me when it's too much. Then I'll say, 'Honey', all that energy is gonna release. It's gonna be overwhelming, but I'm here for you. You're okay and you are safe."

You nod more as you feel him slightly squeeze your hand.

The feelings inside felt like you were being burned with ice. Your head mush yet so filled with lust. You were on a flowerbed of nails, but the nails were pleasant.

"Plea- please" you whispered.

"Honey" he said firmly. It felt so tingly and painful but so so good.

"Honey" he firmly said louder.

"Honey" he announced again as your body shook and you gasped.

~~~

"You did so good for me, baby. Ya feel good? You might be tired"

You nodded, feeling overwhelmed as you breathed heavy. He came onto the bed with you as he started to spoon you as you fell into dreamland. He shushed you as he played with your hair.

Thank goodness you had Time to take the mountains off your shoulders.

[icharchivist]

i don't know how to say it because i'm not super good at drawing boundaries but sometimes you guys get overexcited and can be a bit too mean, and while i can't ask for everyone to like, read the mood, it does feel really disheartening when i'm clearly being emotional or tired that it's completely irrelevent if you want to have your fun.

and i'm sorry no, "you can answer later" doesn't cut it when i can like, have enough energy to indulge in answering one ask and then everyone suddenly start to decide it means it's the right moment to fly in and really go ham about it. and nevertheless i will see the notification, i will see the message in my activity page, i always clearly see when i'm posting emotional stuff and there's a long ask about horny headcanons dropping right afterward. Sure I can ignore the ask for later to answer but that doesn't change the initial feeling of disconnect.

it still is my blog, it's still is the place i manage and have been throwing my thoughts randomly in the void mostly for over ten years, it's really touching and humbling that you have found yourselves at peace talking with me and it's genuinely sweet at times, but eventually it adds this level of stress when i am just not in the mood or clearly doing something else and then the inbox gets to explode regardless, or about it even.

I'm not asking you to care about what i do or anything like that but this is a difficult position to be on for me and ngl it really does feel like at times it just totally disregards my feelings.

Like i spent the evening of the day i was talking about going through an emotional moment out of the death of one of my fav chara of all time, having to answer multiple horny asks. And like, i thought answering one or two wouldn't hurt at first but eventually it's when i was 10 asks in that it really sunk in and i started to feel really depressed.

I'm glad you have fun here and i do joke about being a clown putting on a show, but this isn't really a joke anymore when i genuinely feel like you go ham like that without consideration about how i could be feeling because you decided to come and and hit the funny box. Unlike any of you who can go on with their day or can decide not to read things, i have to read everything that comes into my inbox eventually.

It's really difficult to articulate because it's usually not so bad, it's been a whole ton of fun and i don't know how to word it in a way that wouldn't just scare people of. and a lot of the problem is more in the fact that there's a lot of you and what can be 2/3 asks you may send sometimes add up to 50 asks a day, if not more, and if it's less it's because i carefully been offline trying not to blog about anything unless it blows off again.

But getting the feeling that i'm an entertainer who has to always be ready for the direction you guys want to take regardless of what i may be doing or feeling is starting to genuinely weight on me.

idk how to fix it, it's not like i want you guys to just stop messaging all together, and i can't ask for this type of attentiveness, but a little consideration would be nice once in a while without me having to be hyper explicit about why i wouldn't feel up to the task, especially since i do have the habit to carry on regardless of my discomfort and only realize way later that i've been pushing myself then.

Like idk just. just chill a little?