#and by certain people i mean frank
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whoah hey where are you getting That?!
yes, Barnaby seems to be the Lead of the two. yes, sometimes he seems to be somewhat Oblivious or/and Overbearing. but also seems to genuinely care about Wally and the other neighbors - the two statements can and should co-exist!
and really, Barnaby is Not mean. keep in mind that he's supposed to be the comedy relief, the jokester, always up for some playful ribbing. of course he's gonna tease his neighbors and be a bit unserious - i think that's the point! that's his Role!
when the chips are down, he's one of the more considerate guys. when he accidentally squishes Eddie in the Storybook Record, he's the only one to ask if Eddie's alright. and with Wally, he's the only one to notice that something was wrong with Wally and shows genuine concern for his lil buddy.
(w/ the dog chasing thing, that's like... a Given. dogs chase mailmen, that's the Thing. that's the Gag, the Bit. and i doubt Barnaby hurts Eddie if he catches him. to me, Eddie's panic seemed to come from more of a place of "i need to do my job correctly" rather than "he's going to maul me". like when you play chase with your pet - they act like it's life or death even though they know nothing actually happens when you catch them)
and while his playful ribbing & teasing & joking can push certain people's patience, he doesn't go too far. he's actually pretty mild about it! Barnaby doesn't seem to be malicious - he's just a friendly, playful, silly little guy. and really, who Doesn't like to rile people up with puns, huh? the exasperated groans & eye rolls are the best part!
tldr; calling it abuse or calling him a dick is a bit of an overreaction and misinterpretation, and can't be further from the truth. all of the neighbors have their flaws, it's what makes them nuanced and interesting. but none of them are cruel or even mean.
i don't know what order to start Dissecting, so i'll just start with:
it's absolutely fascinating how the dynamic Wally & Barnaby had - to my knowledge - before the update, and a dynamic i'd seen speculated elsewhere and generally accepted, has been completed turned on its head
see, given that Wally is the "main character" and Barnaby is classified as "his best friend", i got the feeling that Barnaby kind of... tags along on Wally's 'shenanigans'. that he's the sidekick, the best friend. especially since their dynamic has been previously & briefly described as "Barnaby is very polite to Wally." he's the Companion.
but the audios sorta paint a reverse picture. in the Interview, when Barnaby enters stage right, he completely bowls over Wally's introduction and dominates the interview. when the interviewer asks how the two of them are handling the fame, even outright asking Wally, Barnaby doesn't hesitate to answer the question himself, and only about himself. Wally doesn't get another word in edge-wise until the interviewer explicitly singles Wally out.
(now, an argument could be made that Barnaby knew that Wally was somewhat overwhelmed with all of the questions, and tried to take the reins to give him a reprieve. but, considering that the interview seems to be very early on the possible timeline - like, very soon after Welcome Home debuted - i don't think this is likely. i doubt Barnaby and Wally would've had the time to solidify their dynamic or really get to know each other that well yet)
and Barnaby continues to take point in pretty much all of their other conversations, too. like in the mystery Howdy/Barnaby/Wally audio, their interaction gives off the vibes that Wally is Barnaby's sidekick, his tag-along.
(on a related tangent, it's fascinating how the website described the episodes as "[beginning] with Wally introducing the focus or theme for the day before coming across other characters who would join him on his escapades until the end of the day." but from pretty much everything we've seen so far, it seems like He's the one who's just along for the ride, bouncing from neighbor shenanigan to neighbor shenanigan instead of having his own adventures.
of course, if the 14 audios are present time, which is honestly somewhat likely, this could be because the show isn't running. they aren't doing episodes - they're just existing, doing their things. no need for Wally to take point in any way shape or form. tangent over)
in the 14 audios with Barnaby, he doesn't even acknowledge Wally until the very end - which, of course, could be because that's how the scenes are set up. except that in some of them, the characters do directly acknowledge Wally's presence outside of the endings. Eddie in 5-14, Howdy and Poppy in 1-14, and Frank in 4-14 (technically, since he was infodumping to Wally at the very start before Barnaby interrupted). you'd think that a guy would try to include his best friend a little more!
maybe i'm reading into it too much. & given what we know about Wally as a character, it would make sense for Barnaby to be the go-getter Main Guy of the two. but it really seems like its Barnaby & Wally instead of Wally & Barnaby. he's just kinda... there. going along with whatever Barnaby is up to.
but also, on the other side of things - & it's occurring to me as i type this, it's interesting how in a lot of audios, Barnaby seems to seek Wally out. in "Just So", he shows up to fetch Wally. in 4-14, Barnaby interrupts Frank and Wally's gardening session, almost as if he's stopping by to check on his little buddy. in 7-14, Barnaby calls Julie's house (presumably) searching for Wally, or at least checking in once again. something to consider in all of this!
#he's a big sweetheart who's a lil overzealous about bein the town's Goofy Guy#and by certain people i mean frank#of course frank is gonna have less patience for it#hes the show's 'straight man' (very ironic <3) its his Thing to be annoyed by bad puns and a truly Silly Guy#and the barnaby/julie audio was him just playfully messing with her#are you telling me you dont exaggeratedly go OUGH YER KILLIN ME when somebody tells a bad joke?#Especially when that person is someone youre friends with / familiar with?#homebogging#barnaby is really not mean at all!!!#i doubt he has a genuinely malicious bone in his body#any grievances are more than likely unintentional#(except for the riling folks up with bad jokes. but that's rarely done from a place of maliciousness)#and i should have Stated These Extra Interpretations on the og post! sorry!#(and honestly. if we're gonna be going so far as to call Any of them dicks.)#(howdy is Right There lmfao)
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was thinking about how i would hypothetically divide up characters between welsh miners / london lgsm for the au and well. let’s just say we are looking at a situation in which r does not have any friends. except for his mum. who you (<- r) will be pleased to hear would still have breath in her lungs for once
#could give frank and alice to the welsh. james and lily and dorcas and peter and marlene are going to the gays#kingsley to the gays also. FABIAN AND GIDEON to the welsh. caradoc to the welsh perhaps. pomfrey to the welsh? hm.#conscious of wanting to fictionalise this to a certain point but not over fictionalise it. and certain characters have to play certain#characters but other characters have to be inserted in to the narrative and…gosh. hm#currently i oscillate between 'this is doable' and 'there is no way i could pull this off' at speeds previously inconceivable to the human#mind. i think just because there is. so much to get right. starting with the fact that pride is not fictional it is based on a true story s#which feels. more complicated to put into an au and carry off well. and also the fact that pride is not a romance. and the au would be.#but it would be critical that it does not become a romance at the expense of the overarching plot of the strike. and that balance#between plot and romance is not something i have ever done before considering usually my plot IS the romance.#everything has to be given equal attention while also seeming to work together. and also do justice to the fact that its a true story. and#also an r/s au. i do not want to cast real people as fucking r/s characters but also to make the plot work s at the least has to sort#of take on a very real role. r not so much hes sort of just inserted into the village like hes just there. hm. hm my head is frazzled!!#<- saying all this. ive had a stunning amount of dialogue springing to mind already#wait hang on i can give arthur and molly to the welsh that means also. bangin okay we're getting there lads#pride au
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Sometimes just from someone's username you know they would reblog a post that's like omg Trump will do genocide and Harris will do genocide but with emojis and memes!!
And then you see that they did in fact reblog the post and you're like ohhh can we stop pretending this is any kind of leftism.
#like- part of leftism is actually talking about things#e.g. the fact is that governments have all these complicated alliances with other countries#that each administration inherits- and in global wars this affects how they act towards each country#and yeah its fucking shitty! that all our world leaders will participate in wars! personally im anti war!#but this whole bleakism both sides are the same on foreign policy so we shouldnt fuckin bother voting#its not activism or care for human rights its nihilism#you can tell its not care for human rights because so many people like this idolise countries who#also are doing war crimes and terrorism and human rights abuse#and they dont really have a justification or argument for their admiration of these countries other than#'well this country is no different to [x western country] and you think that is ok riiight?'#i mean...if by ok you mean 'the country exists and will continue to exist and i live there and also vote there'#like...damning with faint praise#anyway look i have to admit i don't understand the social media aspect of us elections#the meme-y stuff that comes directly from the campaign trail- dont get it thats not a thing in the uk#but one thing i am absolutely certain of is that both sides do it!#anyway also dont reblog weird 'genocide- yaaas queen!' memes about kamala harris when you're white/non-black it makes you look racist.#also to continue the train of thought i abandoned (sorry)- i personally believe countries need leaders and anarchy will never happen#and the 'revolution' will not happen in our lifetime- its not a real revolution they are talking about anyway its some sort of internet one#where nothing goes awry and it all works out for the goodies (us tumblr leftists)#so given that someone is going to lead the us as president and no amount of not voting will change that- i say grow up#ur genocide memes are boring- to be quite frank on a site so focused on the day to day struggles of marginalised people#who live in western countries- no matter what the government does abroad you STILL should vote for the day to day#yeah some people online say voting makes you impure and complicit in genocide but the secret is you have to ignore thrm#youre just a fucking random you cant tell the president what to do about international conflict- give yourself a break yeesh
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Just Like All the Other Angry Boyfriends Before
James Potter x Hufflepuff!fem!reader
WC: 4.2k
CW: angst; hurt/comfort; fluff; idiots
Summary: Two idiots in love who don’t know how to handle their emotions properly- aka school dance drama
A/n: yall said you wanted this fic even tho I lowkey hate it, so here it is!
Shrill squeals echo through the stone corridor as you make your way to the Great Hall after class. You turn the corner to find a group of girls surrounding Alice Fortescue and Frank Longbottom. Alice is blushing profusely as you hear her declare, “yes I’ll go to the formal with you!”
Frank whoops excitedly and draws Alice into a warm embrace. There are more squeals from the girls, so high pitched you’re sure they’ve shattered your ear drums. As you pass the happy couple, you smile at them warmly and share your congratulations. On the inside, however, you grimace. You’re no antagonist to fun, really, but as the winter formal continues to approach closer and closer, and you are still without a date, you find yourself beginning to reject the idea of any formal at all. It’s not that you have a lack of options either- plenty of people have asked you- but rather, you’ve been holding off in hopes that a certain special someone will.
Begrudgingly, you accept that if you put things off much longer, you will be dateless. And while you’re not necessarily opposed to going alone, you’d rather not when nearly all your friends have dates. Lily has Mary, Marlene has Dorcas, Alice has Frank, and Remus has Sirius.
That leaves you and James.
Although you’re a Hufflepuff, you throw your stuff down onto the Gryffindor table and plop into a seat next to Lily. You huff dejectedly and rest your head on her shoulder, “Why does everyone have to be all happy and in love? It’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid honey, you’re just bitter because P-“
You slap your hand over her mouth and glare at her, “SHH there’s people around.”
“Right, sorry,” she replies, prying your hand off her mouth.
“Also…” she pauses and sniffs your hand, “is that a new lotion? What scent is it?”
Before you can answer, you’re interrupted by Mary who sits down on the other side of Lily and kisses her on the cheek.
“Uh, babe, why are you sniffing her hand?”
“I’m not weird, I swear! She’s the one who shoved her hand in my face. I just wanted to know what lotion she was using.”
Mary gives the two of you questioning looks.
“Potter” Lily mouths.
Mary nods in understanding and smirks. She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively as she shifts her attention to the raven-haired boy a few seats down.
“Still waiting for him to ask you?”
“Mhmmm.”
“You know, it is the 20th century, you could try asking him for a change.”
“Excellent idea, love! Oi, Potter, come here,” Lily shouts.
You glare at them in panic and mumble, “I hate you both.”
James looks up from his conversation with his friends and slides down the bench towards you.
“We have a very important question for you,” Lily says.
You glare at her once again, “I think Lily here is actually far over exaggerating the importance of the question. I’m sure whatever discussion you were having with Remus, Peter, and Sirius was much more urgent.”
James chuckles, “It’s the opposite actually. Remus and Sirius were arguing over what they are wearing to the formal. So really, you saved me.”
You let out the most pitiful laugh, cursing your luck.
“So… what is this very important question you wanted to ask me?”
You attempt to act nonchalant as you ask him if he has a date for the formal yet.
“Oh, the formal? Not yet, though I have a few options in mind. But if you’re implying you want to go together, I’m totally down.”
You’re pretty sure your heart skips a beat.
“I mean, I don’t want you to go alone while everyone else in the friend group has a date.”
This time, your heart drops.
“Oh, so you don’t mind doing me a favor and taking me to the formal?” You ask, an accusing tone to your voice.
“Right, that’s what friends are for,” he says, innocently.
Nail in the coffin.
“So, let me get this straight. You’ll only go with me because you feel sorry for me and because you don’t think I can get a date to the formal?” you ask angrily.
“No I-“ he begins defensively.
“Well you should know, Potter, that I do have a date to the formal, and I was only asking if you had one because I was worried you were going to be the one going alone.”
“Wait! You’re going with someone?!” He says, shocked.
“Don’t act so surprised. Just because I’m ‘one of the guys’ to you doesn’t mean I’m not desirable to other people,” you retort.
Then, you stand up and snatch your books off the table. As you storm away you hear him yell, “Wait, but who are you going with?”
Great question.
*****
Back in the Hufflepuff dorms, you sit in one of the common room chairs stewing over your recent interaction with James. While your initial reaction was anger, time has led way to more intense feelings of hurt. While he didn’t outwardly reject you, the sting of the friend zone was just as painful. You needed to move on, but with who?
The universe seems to answer your question in the form of Amos Diggory.
Amos Diggory- an arrogant, handsome, girlfriend-stealer, with an intense fear of commitment. He would be perfect.
No foreigner to flirting, you put on your most charming smile and call out, “Hey Diggory…”
He looks in your direction and you motion for him to come sit. He smiles at his friends and shoos them away. As Amos comes and sits down next to you you know that, if this goes according to plan, you will royally piss James off. The two rival in looks and on the quidditch field, and James cannot stand Amos.
“Hey gorgeous,” he says, looking you up and down.
“So, you, uh, have a date to the formal yet?”
“No, I prefer to go alone. So my options are open.”
You smirk teasingly, “What if I can convince you to change your mind?”
Amos smiles at you seductively, “I’m listening.”
“Well, you like to go to these things alone so you can entertain the attentions of many girls. But, if you go with one girl, me, you’ll get even more attention. What is going to happen when all of the girls at Hogwarts think that the Amos Diggory is off the market?”
“You have me intrigued,” he says, “And how are you not in Slytherin with that devious little mind of yours?”
“I prefer to keep it my little secret.”
Then, you lean closer to him, “Though I guess it’s our little secret now.”
Amos is falling perfectly into your trap, and you know that he already wants to kiss you. You pull away before he even gets the chance.
“Before I agree, what’s in this for you?” He asks.
“Revenge on James Potter…”
If your flirting hadn’t fully won him over, this does.
*****
In the evening, you make your way to the Gryffindor common room where you always do homework with your friends. Though James, Peter, and Sirius consistently show up late, you make sure to leave extra early to avoid conversation with James at all costs.
You forget, however, that James sometimes knows you better than you know yourself. So when you arrive, he is already there on the couch, waiting for you. Lily and Remus are spread out on the floor, Mary is sprawled across a red chair, and Dorcas is lying in Marlene’s lap reading her textbook while Marlene writes a paper. James shoots up from his seat as you walk in.
“Hey! Can we talk?” He asks anxiously.
Although they pretend to hide it, you know your friends are secretly listening. Still, you don’t care.
“No, James, we can’t. Although it may be uncharted territory, you and I are in what people call a fight. So just let me be.”
“But shouldn’t we talk?”
“No, James. I don’t want to talk. Not right now.”
The fight leaves his body and he retreats, “fine. I’ll just leave you be.”
He grabs his stuff and goes up to his dorm as you settle yourself in his place.
“Don’t you think you’re being a little harsh?” Remus asks softly.
“Maybe,” you say, “But I’m sick of always downplaying my feelings to protect his. It’s not fair to me.”
Lily grabs your hand, “you’re right, it’s not fair. And I’m sorry for pushing all of this on you, it wasn’t my place.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry too,” Mary adds.
“Well, I’m not. This just encouraged me to get over my silly little crush and focus my attentions on someone who will actually take interest in me. There are plenty of people out there.”
“Hell yeah there are!” Marlene says encouragingly.
Dorcas smacks her arm, “Marlene! James is one of your best friends!”
“So is she! I love them both, but she’s right, she needs to do what’s best for her.”
“Just don’t push him away completely,” Dorcas tells you seriously.
“I won’t,” you sigh, “He‘s still so important to me. It just won’t be in the way that I hoped.”
Silence falls over the group.
“Who fucking died?”
Everyone jumps and turns to look in the direction of the voice. Behind you stands Sirius and Peter, both with perplexed looks on their faces.
“James, after she fucking tore him apart earlier,” Marlene replies, motioning to you.
Peter nods as he plops down by your feet, “Oh right! I heard about that.”
Sirius smacks you upside the head, “Yeah, what was that all about?”
“He basically called me a fucking unattractive loser. What else was I supposed to do?” You say, smacking him back.
“I think you’re over-exaggerating just a little bit,” Mary responds cautiously.
“I mean, I think he was just trying to be nice. Maybe it hurt because he essentially friendzoned you?” Lily adds.
“Wait, do you have a crush on James?” Sirius asks you.
“Sirius, have you really never noticed?” Remus responds disbelievingly.
Sirius only shrugs his shoulders.
“Okay, I get it, I get it. James is the perfect golden boy and I’m just another one of Potter’s stupid fangirls who follows him blindly and makes a fool of themselves.”
“Honey no,” Lily starts, “it’s not that it’s-“
“Can you not lecture me, please?” You interrupt, “Maybe I overreacted, but is it so wrong to be angry about being pitied. Especially by someone you really care about?”
“No, it’s not,” Peter tells you, “I get it.”
“Thank you,” you respond dejectedly.
It’s quiet for a moment and you’re stuck stewing in your own self-loathing.
Then, Lily speaks up again, “Uhm, I have one more question, and then I’ll drop the subject.”
You nod, encouraging her to continue.
“Who are you going to take to the formal? Because you told James you had a date, even though you didn’t.”
“Oh, yeah, uhmmm about that…” you say, laughing nervously.
“What rash thing did you do now?” Dorcas asks.
“I may or may not have asked Amos Diggory to be my date to the dance…. And he said yes.”
Marlene laughs loudly, “Oh shit!”
*****
To avoid conflict, you decide that it’s best for you to go to the formal with Amos and his friends rather than string him along with yours. Tension is already high between James and you, and you know Amos’ being there would only make things worse. You try to push it out of your mind, but you can’t help wondering who James is taking to the formal with him. You picture all the prettier, smarter, and better girls he could be going with, and your stomach begins to ache. You are also worried about what people will say in relation to you going with Amos.
Your thoughts start to spiral. Will people hate you? Will James hate you? Is your dress all wrong? Will you be the worst dressed there? The anxieties are endless and there seems to be no relief in sight.
Still, you push through and doll yourself up, masking your true feelings behind layers of hairspray, makeup, and itchy fabric. Your dress is light blue with a silvery sheer fabric over top, like fresh snow on a frozen lake. The top half is form-fitting with silvery straps, and the bottom spreads outward in a loose skirt. You twist back the front strands of your hair with silver clips and adorn your face with light makeup and shimmery eyeshadow. At promptly eight you drag yourself to the common room where Amos sits with his friends and their dates.
You put on a fake smile, “Amos, you look handsome.”
He looks you up and down, “I know. And you look hot.”
What a gentleman.
You say a polite thank you and avoid some of the stares you’re getting from the other girls. You can tell that some are jealous already, yet they maintain outward politeness, which you’re grateful for.
Amos, at least, extends his arm, which you grab, as you walk towards the Great Hall. Your walk is filled with polite conversation about simple things from quidditch, to class, and plans for the holidays. So far, it’s not as bad as you thought, though you wished you would have just gone dateless with your friends.
You cast these regrets aside, however, when you arrive at your destination. To no one’s surprise, the Hogwarts decorating committee has outdone themselves once again. The typical long, wooden tables are gone and in place is a magnificent white dance floor that seems to shimmer like the snow. Warm, golden globes of light hang from the sky and snowflakes fall from above, though never reaching the ground. The room is an explosion of silvers, whites, and blues, and you’re sure you’ve stepped into a winter wonderland.
“This is just-“ Amos begins.
“Wow” you finish, “Like a winter wonderland.”
“And you’re its queen,” he says.
You blush in spite of yourself.
“Compliments won’t get you a kiss so soon,” you tease, “It’s only eight.”
He bites his lip, “fine. But I can only restrain myself from a beautiful girl so long.”
You laugh lightly and swat him on the shoulder. Then, music begins to play.
Amos motions towards the dance floor, “shall we?”
*****
As James adjusts his tie in the mirror, he can’t help but think about what a pathetic loser he is. Although he’d had plenty of girls who he could have gone to the formal with, he continued to wait, assuming there would be someone better coming along. Who that person was, he wasn’t sure. But now, he was alone.
And then there was you. He doesn't know what happened. One second you two were fine, and then suddenly, you blew up. While he knows that he insulted you, he can’t understand why you are so angry. Sirius said not to overthink it, that girls are just complicated, but you are one of his best friends. He knows there is something else going on and it’s left a terrible pit in his stomach.
“Earth to James!”
“Huh?” He awakes from his trance and notices that Peter is waving his hand in front of his face.
“You ready to go?”
“Oh, yeah.”
They head downstairs and meet up with the rest of the group- Pete and his girl from Ravenclaw, Sirius and Remus, Marlene and Dorcas, Mary and Lily, and you-
Not present because he is an ass.
James wonders who you’re going with.
They all cheer loudly, “James, you look great!”
“Thanks, guys, but it’s you all that look great.”
“Hell yeah we do!” Sirius exclaims.
Everyone laughs and begins to file out the portrait hole down to the Great Hall. Despite being the only dateless friend, James’ spirits are lifted by their jokes and ramblings. When they reach the dance, everyone oohs and aahs over the shimmery decorations. Instantly, James cranes his neck, looking for you in the crowd as he walks with the group towards a table off to the left. As they all set their stuff down, the music begins to play and couples rush to the floor. His friends join them, excited to dance.
“James, you coming?” Sirius asks.
He shakes his head, “next song.”
Sirius shrugs and walks off with Remus. James continues to search the crowd, looking for you. He realizes he doesn’t know what you’re wearing- and he supposes he never asked. James wonders if best friends are supposed to do that sort of thing.
Probably.
It hits him, then. With everything that’s been going on lately- being head boy, quidditch captain, and taking ridiculously hard classes, he’d sort of ignored you. It’s no wonder you’re so angry with him.
James feels totally guilty until he sees you. It’s then, he realizes, that he has a reason to be angry too. There you are, after all his moping and worrying, with Amos fucking Diggory. James knows that he hasn’t been the best of friends lately, but Diggory? That was his rival! You were crossing a line.
But what really bothers him the most is the way you’re laughing at something Diggiry said. He is hardly funny, and has the personality of a piece of paper. And why are you leaning so close to him? He’s not even that attractive or charming.
As you swirl across the dance floor, he watches how your hands hold tightly to Diggory’s shoulders, like he’s your anchor. James also notices Diggory’s hands around your waist, far too close to your ass, and his blood boils. No way would he let his rival feel up his friend.
When the song ends, James begins to stalk towards you two, but is pushed backwards by Sirius and Remus.
“Not worth it mate,” Sirius warns.
“But Padfoot, this is unbelievable. She is unbelievable. How could she ever agree to go with him? She knows how much I hate him, and is just trying to get back at me.”
“Mate, it’s this type of thinking that pushed her into his arms,” Remus mumbles.
“What, what do you mean?”
“James, she asked him to the formal after you basically made her feel like shit. Whether she realized it or not, she turned to who she thought would hurt you the most. She wanted you to feel what she was feeling, even a little bit.”
“It’s not her best decision, but ignoring her wasn’t yours either,” Sirius adds.
James rubs his face tiredly, “God, I know.”
Sirius pats his back, “Just… take a few minutes and then come join us. Don’t let it ruin your night.”
“And while you’re sitting here, maybe reflect a little more on why you’re so upset,” Remus adds.
“Rem-” Sirius says with a warning tone.
He puts his hands up defensively, “I didn’t say anything. Let’s go.”
As they walk away James notices their slight bickering. He laughs at them in spite of himself. Secretly, he’s always been a little bit jealous of their relationship. Though they are far from perfect, they’re comfortable with each other in a way that he can only hope for. He thinks the fact that they were friends for five years before they dated helped. There’s this trust and friendship that is so necessary in order to support the love and passion that comes with romance.
As another song ends, James decides not to get up from his seat. He watches Amos and you some more. While his blood is still boiling, there is a twinge of something else.
“Maybe reflect a little more on why you’re upset.”
*****
Surprisingly, you’re having more fun with Amos than you thought you would. While you would never date him, you appreciate his company tonight. He’s been making you laugh all night, so you’re surprised when another song comes on and he suddenly gets serious.
“You know, gorgeous, I’m not one to waste my time on Potter, but he’s been glaring in our direction for the past fifteen minutes.”
“Just ignore him.”
“I would, but it’s kind of hard when he is burning holes into my head.”
You huff apologetically, “God, I’m so sorry. I hope it’s not ruining your night.”
“Eh, I’m used to Potter throwing temper tantrums when he doesn’t get what he wants. He’s clearly just mad he’s not dancing with the most beautiful girl in the room.”
“Pfft, yeah right. He’s just mad that I’m dancing with you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t give a shit.”
“Can I give you my honest opinion?”
You hum in agreement.
“As I’m sure you know, I have a reputation for girlfriend stealing.”
“Yes? And?” You say, confused.
“Well, with stealing girlfriends also comes a lot of angry boyfriends. And Potter over there, he looks exactly like all the angry boyfriends I’ve dealt with, who want to beat the shit out of me.”
“Which makes no sense, because he doesn’t act like a boyfriend whenever we’re together. It’s not fucking fair. He doesn’t want me, but it’s like he doesn’t want anyone else to have me either.”
“Listen to me. I may not know what the fuck is going on with you two, but it’s pretty clear to anyone that you guys both have feelings for each other. So, as your date, I think it's my duty to end ours early. We both achieved our goals- all the girls in the room want me, and Potter can’t take his eyes off of you.”
You release a shaky sigh, “Okay, fine.”
As the song ends he releases you and gives you a wink, “Well, for now, this is goodbye. Since I’m sure you’ll be Potter’s girlfriend by the end of the night, I imagine we are going to be mortal enemies from now on. Or until graduation at least.”
You chuckle a little as you straighten his tie one last time.
“Go get him,” he says.
You stand up on your tip toes and kiss him on the cheek, “Bye Diggory. Next time I speak to you, you better be settled down with a nice girl, at 9 ¾, with your rowdy kids for their first year of school.”
He laughs and you part ways for the night. Before you allow yourself to approach James, you walk outside to the courtyard nearby. You lean up against the railing and look out towards the stars. The cool breeze fills your lungs and is comfortable against your hot skin. It’s silent except for the soft notes of music drifting out from the Great Hall.
“So, you and Diggory huh?”
You jump at James’ voice and turn to him, “Yep, and you and the invisible girl. I thought you were Mr. Hotshot, with plenty of girls lined up as possible dates?”
“And I thought Hufflepuffs were supposed to be loyal.”
You scoff, “It wasn’t personal, James. Just a silly little date to a silly little formal.”
“Bullshit” he yells, “You were mad so you went and found a date that you knew I would hate!”
“God, you are so conceited! Not everything is about you. Maybe I just liked Amos’ company. He’s not all that bad, you know.”
“Oh, so now you’re defending him? Next thing I know there’ll be wedding bells.”
“Maybe there will be. He’s funny, attractive, and actually gives me the time of day!” you retort.
“Just so he can get you into his bed, fuck you, and then ignore you after,” James shouts back.
You stare at each other in silence for a moment.
“I mean, Merlin, is that really what you want? I know it's not my place to give my opinion about who you date or-”
“And that’s the whole problem,” you interrupt.
“What?”
“James, you're my best friend. I want your opinion about these things- even if I don’t always want to hear it. It at least shows you care about me. Lately, it’s like I don’t even exist.”
“I know, I know and I’m sorry. You deserve better. A better friend and…” he steps a little closer, “a better romantic interest?”
You let out a small laugh, “romantic interest?”
“What? If this night has shown me anything, I clearly don’t know what- or who- you’re looking for in romance. And that’s on me. But I want that to change from now on.”
You take a deep breath and step even closer to him. You look up into his hazel eyes, your faces so close your noses are almost touching.
“Well, in the name of change, I guess I have to confess, I do have a romantic interest… in you.”
“And as a part of my duties as your best friend, I believe it my responsibility to tell you that… you should go for it.”
Already so close together, you merely stand on your tip toes and lock lips with James. He kisses back and puts his hands around your waist. For a second, he pulls away.
You look up at him with questioning eyes.
His grip on your waist tightens, “I don’t ever want another man’s hands here ever again. It was driving me crazy tonight, the way Amos was touching you.”
You smirk at him, “Jealous are we?”
He grunts in affirmation and pulls you in again. The kiss lasts a few minutes with you up against the railing. At first it’s fast and passionate. But with time it becomes slower and more sweet. More loving.
Eventually, you slowly pull apart. You look at him softly and ask breathlessly, “So, do you have a date to the formal yet?”
#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#harry potter fanfiction#james potter x reader#the maruaders#james potter x you#james potter hc#james potter imagine#james potter drabble#james potter headcanon#james potter fic#james potter marauders#james potter x y/n#james potter x fem!reader#james potter fluff#james potter angst#james potter hurt/comfort#remus lupin#sirius black#peter pettigrew#lily evans#mary macdonald#dorcas meadowes#marlene mckinnon#harry potter fandom
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i've been debating on whether to post about this but what the hell, it's relevant both to today's episode and the topic of people trying to smooth over the flaws of Dungeon Meshi characters.... so, uh, remember what i said yesterday about Laios forgetting the basics of human decency when interacting with Izutsumi
i was intially worried about people reading this scene in uhh certain ways but was thankful to see most fans were chill with it... before i realized that. uh. maybe people were being a little too chill
okay............ so,
1. for the record: i believe that it is clear from what we know about him and what we know about the entire series as a whole that, yes, Laios didn't have "untoward" intentions towards Izutsumi in this scene. there's even an aside in Izutsumi's profile in the Adventurer's Bible that says as much. he likely saw it in basically the same way Falin did when she was observing the reproductive organs of the caterpillar in that one scene. FOR THE RECORD this excuse would basically never fly in real life, but for Laios, it actually honestly makes sense... he has a habit of ignoring people's boundaries, he gets ahead of himself when it comes to learning about monsters... he didn't have bad intentions, no, but it doesn't change the fact that he's an adult man (not a [my face contorts with a great pain] "curious boy") who was being really invasive about a teenage girl's body. it was weird. it was 100% weird, lmao, i don't think fans are "lacking media literacy" by saying "uh yeah that was kind of creepy and inappropriate of Laios"
2. and i also don't think it's villifying ND people to say that. if i were to be honest, i would argue the whole "he's just a curious boy :(" thing is a lot more offensive to neurodivergent people. Laios clearly knows about the concept of bodily autonomy- he felt weird and bad about touching Marcille and Senshi in "intimate" ways just to heal them. literally one scene after this one he expresses embarassment about accidentally touching the leg of (who he thinks to be) Marcille. he very obviously possesses the capacity to understand why it would be inappropriate to observe a stranger's body like they were an animal. i can accept the explanation that his monster curiosity temporarily overpowered his "oh actually maybe i shouldn't try to get up close and person with this teenager who i literally just met," but that doesn't change that he had to be restrained from doing that. i'm not even saying he's a "bad person" or anything because of this scene- i just am baffled at the idea of fans being presented with the slightest bit of messiness (he was creepy to a young girl, however unintentionally) and jumping to try and "justify" it (he's just silly, he's socially awkward, he's autistic, he's a Curious Boy) and even mock others who rightfully point out that that was uncomfortable behavior. Laios was creepy to Izutsumi. he didn't mean to, but he did (and to be quite frank he was lucky to get off with a smack from Chilchuck and a blindfold)
3. "I would also ask" excuse me?
#i have been utterly haunted by 'he's just a curious boy' for days#he's just a curious boy :( he's just a curious almost 30 year old boy :( :(#dungeon meshi
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People who are concerned about problematic or triggering kinks often couch these concerns in highly reasonable-sounding reactions and make what seems like highly reasonable requests.
They point out that lots of the most upsetting kinks may remind a person of their worst traumas, for example, and that these kinks, when played out, can resemble actual abuse so closely that the kink communities may attract bad actors who genuinely do wish to do harm.
They may allow that some kink practitioners are themselves survivors, and tolerate taboo kink's existence insofar as the correct people find it therapeutic, but they'll qualify that it should always be made clear what is fantasy and what is reality.
But ultimately, people making these arguments will assert, there are certain things that a simply beyond the pale -- across the line and wrong.
A lot of people say these things earnestly, and mean them, and I don't think they intend any harm in saying them. And in comporting their own personal lives, these guardrails may more or less apply well for them. But where it becomes a problem is in issuing dictates about how other people should act, and how kink friendly spaces should run, and how people who hold taboo kinks ought to be regarded.
Does it protect victims to view their kinks as inherently morally suspect?
Does treating a person who is forthright about their taboo desires and who has found a consensual venue to express those desires as more potentially predatory than your random vanilla cishet man help us make kink spaces that are safe?
Is it *true* having a fetish or kink makes a person more dangerous than someone that doesn't?
What's an acceptable reason to have a taboo fetish and what's an unacceptable reason? Who decides?
How might linking sexual practices that are already highly stigmatized and associated with queernees to abuse lead to increasing those group members' vulnerability?
Are communities where vetting of sexual play partners and frank discussions of consent are routine somehow more dangerous to be in than the vanilla world, where such things rarely happen?
What is a suitable way of flagging that fantasy is fantasy and real life is real life? Who decides?
Are certain real life enactments of a fantasy always wrong even when they are consensual, simply because they look bad/intense?
Which practices are okay to partake in in real life?
Who decides? Who decides? What happens to the people who violate those other people's rules?
You don't have to be interested in every kink and you don't have to visit all kink spaces. It's fine if you find certain fetishes disturbing, gross, triggering, a deal breaker, or reminiscent of your own abuse (and I'm really sorry that those things happened to you). But those entirely legitimate feelings in NO way translate to a need for anyone to place restrictions on how others play or fantasize or comport themselves in their own spaces.
Not all spaces will be for you, but please understand that for those of us who are kinky and queer, 99.9999999999% of all social spaces in the world are already viscerally violently NOT for us. Let us have our spaces to pretend to be puppy dogs and kitty cats and siblings and vampires and home invaders and monsters and rape victims and rapists and murderers and dead bodies and babies and robots and dolls and video game characters and everything else.
You don't have to like it but you don't have the authority to say we don't get to do it, and nobody should.
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Welcome Home - The Homewarming Update : A compilation of the secrets I could find
⚠️SPOILERS AHEAD!⚠️
This post is simply a compilation of all the things I could find during my exploration of the website. I'm not going to delve too much into theories. Enjoy the read!
1- Statics
Every background is now filled with statics. I tried zooming out but I couldn't find anything. Not really a secret, but still interesting to note.
2- It's a dog! Oh, and a pea!
Found in the "Official Welcome Home Cook Book" in the merchandise page. I am... A little worried about Barnaby. For those who are aware, the pea is foreshadowing for a much bigger secret.
3- Audio distortion
Surprisingly, I was only able to find one instance where the audio distorts. In the "Homewarming Storybook Record", when Wally speaks here (timestamp is 18:16), the audio gets distorted. Please let me know if you found more audio glitches on the main website!
4- The page is breathing
I was able to capture something that made my skin crawl. Look very closely at this illustration. It's... breathing. I'm unsure if any other image in the website does that too. Very troubling.
5- Lost track of time
Uh-oh! Looks like our beloved writer is losing their perception of time itself. An effect of the black substance maybe? You can find this on the News page.
6- Pixels? Smudges? Oh, and a new friend!
In The Neighboorhood page, Home now has little white pixels around him? I'm unsure if this was intentional or not. Interestingly, the secret link under Home dissapeared along with every other traces of Wally.
The logo on certain pages looks... dirty? Look closely, there are brownish stains on some letters. This doesn't appear everywhere.
And! New friend! Hello new friend!
7- Symbols!
Okay, now onto the main course. Something I think we've all noticed straight away! There's a ton of tiny little doodles splattered around the website. The doodles are all named after a letter. Here is every letter translated from their respective symbol you can find on the website :
Home : M I O A Merchandise : P Y E R Media : Y G About us : A R Stickers : E News : T Neighboorhood : S F N E Wally : W Exhibition : N Ghestbook : W W W Transcript : Y
"www" huh? Interesting, like a web link. At first, all of this doesn't really mean anything, until we stumble upon this!
Fascinating, it's a code! Eddie here is giving us the translation to every single doodle. Next, if we solve the question here "What does Home wear at parties?", it gives us the next clue we need. The answer is "ADDRESS". Address? Now, remember the "www" thing? That's right! We need to assemble the letters we found to make a link!
8- Away from Prying Eyes
After assembling a link, you will be able to visit a secret page. In it is by far the biggest secret in this update : https://www.awayfrompryingeyes.net/
When I tell you I lost my marbles when I discovered this. There is a lot to say here! Firstly, one thing to note is that unlike any other secrets we had found in previous updates, Wally didn't put this here. Instead, it was this mysterious "W". Go read the whole thing! It's PACKED with information!
"W" purposely put this here for US to find. W is in distress, confused and scared; this looks like a call for help.
Might or might not be important, but the word "Paranoid" here starts with a capital. It did catch my eye, so maybe it is noteworthy.
This entire phone call is absolutely fascinating and gives us answers about the lore. I highly recommend people to give it a listen : https://www.awayfrompryingeyes.net/phone
AND THIS??? OH MY GOODNESS!!! Clown is spoiling us with gifts for this Homewarming! Truly, thank you Clown and the whole WH team, you're doing such a marvelous job. Watch the whole thing here : https://www.awayfrompryingeyes.net/commercials
And what's this hidden among the commercials? Eddie! Remember how I said the pea was foreshadowing? Eddie can hear Home's heartbeat. Well, our dearest mailman doesn't look too well :( Thankfully Frank seems to be looking out for him!
_________________________
Important things to note: This update is almost completely void of any trace of Wally infesting the website. The symbols were placed by the website manager here. Wally is not there anymore. Also, Eddie is purposely left out of the main update, only to be the center of attention in the commercial compilation.
Well! That's all I managed to find for now! Please let me know in the replies if I've missed anything. Thank you for reading, and Happy Homewarming! <3
Edit : Added some new things I just noticed!
#welcome home#partycoffin#welcome home update#welcome home secrets#welcome home puppet show#welcome home homewarming#homewarming#welcome home wally#welcome home home#welcome home eddie
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an adjustment
pairing: frank castle x fem!reader
summary: adjusting to a new normal with frank presents a few challenges, including one you thought you had put to rest.
warnings: swearing, lil angst, frank's voice (yes that needs a warning)
word count: 2.6k
a/n: a certain someone is making a cameo that will have a bigger role in the next chapter, but y'all know I love to tease. ;) as always, feedback is welcomed/appreciated!
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As much as the two of you wanted to stay in the cozy little bubble that existed in his cabin, reality had come knocking. Madani informed you that your place was no longer an active crime scene decorated in bodies, bullets, and blood, and Billy needed Frank for a new assignment. Some guy running for Senator had a lot of controversial opinions that pissed a bunch of people off and apparently warranted 24/7 security, and Anvil was at the top of his list for protection. Since Frank was the best at what he did, unfortunately he was at the top of that list too. Adjusting to a new normal had been…well…just that; an adjustment.
A difficult, confusing, thought consuming adjustment.
For over half of the past year, Frank had been by your side. You started and ended every single day with him. The sudden absence of his presence was jarring, and you still found yourself immediately confused when you glanced up from your computer screen to tell him something only to realize he wasn’t there. Frank didn’t always talk a whole lot, but your office suddenly felt so much more quiet and empty without him. And despite a full blown security system installed by him on your behalf, it was hard for you to feel safe in your own home with the lingering scars of what had happened etched into the walls beneath a layer of new paint.
Frank called you at least once every day, just to hear your voice, but between both of your complicated schedules, time was not in your favor. You had spent the past three weeks adapting to Frank’s vacancy, but found yourself spiraling anytime you were left alone with your own thoughts. What if this was over before it had even really started? What if it wasn't anything anyway? There hadn’t been a moment for you and Frank to sit down and actually talk about what your relationship was since the cabin. You know what it meant to you, and you knew what you wanted it to mean to him, but you wanted to hear what it meant to him from his own mouth.
A part of you felt childish for wanting to bring it up. What were you supposed to do? Send him a text saying “are you my boyfriend, check yes or no”? Another part of you felt valid in needing reassurance. It was reasonable to want to establish a relationship with someone you were dating. But were you and Frank dating? He hadn’t technically asked you out on an actual date, but he had risked his life to save yours on several occasions. That had to count for something. You hadn’t dated anyone seriously since Steven, and Frank was not only a widower, but also your former bodyguard, so the normal rules of dating felt like they had been completely thrown out the window.
A knock at the door abruptly pulled you out of your chaotically indecisive inner monologue, and you saw a guy that appeared to be fresh out of high school standing in the doorway of your office.
“You Y/N Y/L/N?”
“Uh yeah, that’s me. How can I help you?”
The kid took a few steps forward into your office and practically shoved a sealed brown envelope in your face. He looked bored and annoyed, as if you were somehow inconveniencing him because he had to deliver something to you. It made you want to make a snide comment about how your name was clearly listed outside your office door and ask how the hell he managed to graduate without the ability to read.
“This is for you.”
Reaching for the envelope, your brows pinched together as you turned it over. There was nothing written on the front of it, no address, no name, not even a stamp.
“What is it?”
“I don’t know, lady. I’m just the messenger. Open it and find out.”
Before you could reply with a smartass comment, the kid had already walked out of your office, leaving you alone with the mysterious brown envelope. Clenching your jaw, you refrained from chasing him down the hall and asking who the hell raised him. Letting out a deep exhale through your nose, you had to remind yourself that you were a grown woman that would face charges for decking a teenager, even if he was legal and a complete dick.
“Asshole.”
Muttering under your breath, you pinched the aluminum prongs together on the seal, flipping the top of the envelope open to reach inside and pull out a stack of documents. When you turned them over, five big bold letters instantly caught your attention.
LETTER OF INTENT TO SUE.
During your time as a journalist, people had threatened to sue you over stories several times. It came with the territory. The first time you had gotten a letter like this, you nearly had a complete meltdown. Ben had found it far more amusing than you did, leaning back in his chair with a smug grin on his face while sipping at his coffee and chuckling.
“Ah, I remember my first lawsuit letter. You get used to ‘em. You can either frame that one or forward that to the uh legal department. It’s in the blue recycling bin outside.”
And he had been right. People had tried to sue the paper, and you specifically, several times over the course of your career, but nothing ever actually went anywhere. You normally wouldn’t have thought twice about it, and you were about to toss it into the trash bin on the floor next to your desk when your eyes skimmed over who sent the letter, and your blood instantly began to sizzle.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”
Steven fucking Price.
Gritting your teeth harshly, you narrowed your eyes as you read over the first paragraph on the page.
This letter of intent to sue shall hereby be considered formal notice that STEVEN PRICE intends to file a lawsuit against you if you do not comply with the settlement demands set out in this letter.
The storm of anger brewing inside you had your hands shaking violently, and you were clutching onto the paper in your hands so tightly that your fingernails had left indents in the crinkled sides that were held captive in your vice grip. When Homeland took him away in custody, you thought that was the last you would ever have to deal with him or see him until the trial. But here he was, still making demands of you, from federal prison.
Frank’s gruff voice sounded on the other end of the line after one ring before you even realized you had called him.
“He’s fucking suing me.”
“What? Who?”
“Steven.”
There was a brief shuffling noise on the other end of the line, and you faintly heard Frank mutter an “excuse me” before his deep baritone sounded once again in your ear.
“The hell you mean he’s suin’ you?”
“Some kid came and dropped off an envelope, who was a real dick by the way, and then I opened it and saw it’s a letter of intent to sue. I didn’t think anything of it at first because I get these all the time, but then I saw his fucking name.”
“Suin’ you for what though?”
Tossing the documents onto your desk, you began to pace back and forth in your office as you ran your hand through the roots of your hair in pure frustration.
“I don’t fucking know, a load of bullshit? I didn’t even read what his ‘demands’ were. He can’t…he can’t do that, right? I didn’t do anything.”
Pausing for a second, your hysterical rant subsided momentarily as one possible reason for a lawsuit popped into your head.
“I mean…I did punch him in the face. But he’s going to sue me for that? There’s no fucking way. Putting it on public record that a girl half his size punched him? His ego couldn’t handle it.”
“You did break his nose.”
“He fucking deserved it, I should’ve broken more.”
Frank’s deep chuckle of amusement sounded from the other end of the line, and it instantly made you forget what you were so pissed about for a brief moment.
“I ain’t disagreein’ with you there. Look, take a deep breath, sweetheart. Can you do that for me?”
Letting out a deep exhale through your nose, you closed your eyes for a moment and enjoyed the soft tone of Frank’s rough voice as you followed his gentle instruction. With your eyes closed, it was almost like he was there with you. Once Frank could hear your breathing even out a bit on the other end of the line, he spoke in a delicately low tone that had your toes curling in your shoes.
“Attagirl. Send me the letter and I’ll talk to Madani ‘bout it, yeah?”
“I don’t even have a lawyer-”
“Don’t worry ‘bout that right now, alright? Just take another deep breath, relax, and let me handle it.”
“You’re always handling things.”
“That’s kinda my job, baby.”
One little pet name and you were blushing like a schoolgirl with her first crush. Thankfully Frank wasn’t in your office at that moment to see the intense heat in your cheeks and the goofy smile splitting your lips. He would’ve definitely had a field day teasing you about it.
“You’re pretty good at your job. Maybe a little too good. If you were kinda sucky at it, everyone wouldn’t want you so bad.”
“The only one I want bad is you.”
A fluttering feeling erupted in your lower belly at those words, coupled with the way his voice had dropped an impossible octave lower, and you found yourself clutching at the edge of your desk to keep your knees from giving out right from under you. If Frank was here, you would’ve gladly let him bend you over it.
Clearing your throat, you attempted to change the subject before you got too worked up.
“How’s the new guy?”
Grabbing the iced coffee sitting on your desk, you held it against the heated skin of your neck. Droplets of the cool condensation slowly cascaded down your flesh, causing you to shiver while trying to balance your internal temperature.
“Not as pretty as you.”
Letting out a soft snort, you rolled your eyes and leaned back against the edge of your desk.
“Well I would hope not.”
Frank chuckled deeply again, and you could clearly picture the look on his face in your mind; an expression of playful exasperation with a faint smirk on the edge of his soft lips.
“He’s more of a pain in the ass than you. Didn’t think that was possible.”
“You’re really great at this whole flirting thing, you know that?”
The dry sarcasm in your voice didn’t go unnoticed by Frank, and it tore a deeper laugh from low within his chest that made you grin.
“Hey, I been outta practice for a while. Gimme a break.”
“Speaking of flirting, how’s Billy?”
“He’s uh…he’s good.”
Something about Frank’s tone suddenly seemed off, and you wanted to ask him about it, but there was a faint rustling on the other end of the line, like Frank was pressing the speaker against his chest, and you could barely make out his muffled voice speaking to someone. When he lifted his phone back to his ear, you caught the end of a deep sigh.
“Listen I uh…I gotta go, sweetheart.”
“Yeah, me too.”
That was a lie. You didn’t have anything pressing deadlines at the moment. You would’ve stayed on the phone for the rest of the day with Frank if you could’ve, maybe convinced him to sneak away and come see you. He was still in New York, luckily, but anywhere that wasn’t right next to you was still too far.
“Send me the letter. I’ll talk to Madani and take care of it, alright?”
“Okay. I…thank you.”
“You ain’t gotta thank me.”
“You keep saying that, but then you keep giving me reasons to. So, we can have this argument until eventually you give up I guess.”
Frank chuckled deeply once more, and you could picture him in your mind shaking his head with a light grin. He sounded normal again, but you made a mental note to ask him about what was really going on when you spoke to him next.
“Same time tomorrow then, yeah?”
»»——— ———««
According to Madani, Steven didn’t have a case, and you technically had nothing to worry about. However, you were admittedly curious about what the hell he wanted, and Frank had said that if you did want to go talk to Steven, he would go with you. Actually, he respectfully insisted that you not see Steven without him present, and while you didn’t want to see Steven at all, you did want to see Frank.
You suffered through almost three years with Steven. You could suffer another five minutes if it meant you got to spend time with Frank.
It wasn’t your first time visiting a prison. A few years ago when you were still working with Ben, he had been interviewing a death row inmate that had been declaring innocence for fifteen years, and Ben had managed to prove that the evidence for his case had been tampered with and that the man had been telling the truth the entire time. Despite how daunting it felt to be in a place that kept violent people caged like animals, you felt safe with Ben then, much like you did with Frank now.
Currently, you were pacing back and forth down the hallway in pure irritation.
“What is taking so long?”
Frank had his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the wall outside of the meeting room that was typically reserved for inmates and their lawyers. The guard had said he would bring Steven in shortly, but that was twenty minutes ago. Since Frank had met you at the prison, and due to all the prying eyes, you hadn’t had a private moment to do more than smile at him when he arrived. It was the first time you were able to see him in person in three and a half weeks, and he somehow looked even more attractive than he ever had, and you were being forced to endure an interaction with your ex, who tried to have you killed, just to get Frank alone.
It was torture.
“Told ‘em we’re waitin’ on your lawyer.”
Pausing mid-step, you glanced over at Frank with a look of complete puzzlement.
“I don’t have a lawyer, I told you that.”
As Frank turned his head to look at you, he suddenly lifted his gaze to stare directly above your head as someone behind you caught his eye. He stood up straight and uncrossed his arms as he gestured with his chin in the direction behind you.
“You do now.”
With your brows knit in threads of confusion towards the center of your forehead, a light tapping sound behind you caused your ears to perk up, and you turned your head to find the source of the noise and Frank’s attention.
“Miss Y/L/N, my name is Matthew Murdock. I’m your attorney.”
tags: @thyme-in-a-bubble @day-dreaming-goddess @messymissy @itwasthereaminuteago @strawberry1042 @queenofthenoobs @wanda2themax @xcastawayherosx @avengerstower-houseplant @stevenknightmarc @ponyosmom35 @babygal-babygal @wellwwhynot @oldermenaremyreligion @combustiblemeow @tired-night-owl @fairykiss32 @danzer8705 @calkissed @fxckahs-blog @lemon-world1 @polskiperson @imperihoe @v4leoftears @harperdoodle @spideyvibez @joalslibrary @cherry-berry-ollie @sorrowfulfragmentation @kdogreads @sumo-b98 @blackhawkfanatic @gloryekaterina @whistle1whistle @starbritestarlite @callmebrooklynbabes @hallway5 @scarletfvckingwitch @bifuriouslatina @soupyspence @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @wonwoosthetic @linguist-breakaribecca @nerdytreeflower @mrs-bellingham @smhnxdiii @s3riou2 @slavic-empress
#frank castle#frank castle x you#frank castle x y/n#frank castle x reader#frank castle x female reader#frank castle x fem!reader#frank castle x f!reader#frank castle fic#frank castle series#the bodyguard series#bodyguard!frank castle fic#bodyguard!frank castle series#bodyguard!frank castle x reader#the punisher#the punisher fic#the punisher series
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ranting about the fandom ( TW: opinions)
- remus is so badly mischaracterized, the shift from him being a soft sensitive kid despite the violent nature of his condition was so so important but now he is turned into this mean angry alpha male. i feel like the point of him being so sensitive was to contrast w him being a werewolf ya know. bring back weird and awkward remus
- gay ships that are just there because they’re gay is pretty strange. i’m speaking of the whole jegulus/pandalily/whatever new thing ppl come up with i don’t really understand the point of just thinking that making a couple gay makes them more interesting. seems a little counterproductive .
-jily loosing its popularity is killing me. bring back my 7 year slow burn prophecy beautiful love story they are the most important ship
-sirius being a feminine dramatic gay twink. this man was a motorcycle owning rebel strong guy. and believe it or not he CAN be gay and still be that. him being gay ( in our head canons) doesn’t mean he’s a woman
- turning gay ships into basically a straight relationship by making them so stereotypical ( wolfstar w feminine af sirius and strong man remus)
- shipping character that died and fought against a certain ideology and people that were actively apart of the problem is kinda crazy. like jegulily? my brother in christ regulus wanted her dead.
-fanon regulus. he was a strong willed DEATH EATER he wasn’t forced into it or abused by his family. it.is.stated.in.the.book.
-deatheaters are interesting characters BUT don’t tell me people are babying and glorifying them in a effort to explore their complexity.
-some of you are blinded by the fancasts and forgot all about what the characters are.
- the new fan casts are meeeh. they’re not all supposed to be supermodels…
- jegulus taking over the fandom is insane.
-andromeda should be getting the regulus treatement she is what you made regulus into.
-frank and alice should be more loved.
- the romantization of that whole pureblood supremacist squad is NOT cute.
-james potter my beloved.
- i don’t really like the idea of the casanova being remus. i feel like it would james or sirius based on how remus talked about his high school years
- jily is way too important to the universe to be discredited.
-lily evans being put behind regulus is CRAZY. my girl did not die for this bs
-sirius being criticized for leaving is wild. regulus was not abused and didn’t even want to leave. sirius was mistreated.
- i kind of like the idea of the developed character of walburga. sirius said she wasn’t a deatheater. and i like people writing her as a more complex character.
- as much as i love wolfstar, james and sirius’s relationship stays the central point of the gang.
-ships have taken way too much importance over the friendships of the group.
-i feel like a people make female characters into lesbians ( like lily ) just because they are strong characters and it’s weird.
- yes once she got married to james she was lily POTTER and she was a mother just like james was FATHER they’re is nothing wrong with that.
- jegulus/ any ship between a member of the order and a deatheater is just plain stupid sorry but if your head canons goes completely against the core of a character it’s just a wrong statement.
before you start “LEt pEoPle dO whAT thEy WaNt” these are MY opinions
please share yours i love to debate
#the marauders fandom#the marauders#the maraunders map#old marauders fandom#marauders incorrect quotes#marauders fandom#marauders#regulus sirius#james & peter & remus & sirius#sirius being sirius#sirius black#remus lupin#james potter#petter pettigrew#lily evans#lily potter#regulus black#wolfstar#jily fluff#jily forever#pro jily#anti jegulily#anti jegulus#anti regulus#andromeda black#prongsfoot#moony wormtail padfoot and prongs#prongsie#prongstail#prongs fanart
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HOW DOES YOUR PERSON FEEL ABOUT YOU? PICK-A-PILE ...
Pile (1) : Misunderstood
Cards: Magician reversed, Unknown, Five of Cups, High Priestess, Five of Pentacles reversed- kinda, Empress reversed and judgment -at the bottom of the deck.
My first reaction was WOW! The person on your mind feels like you’re elusive. They also feel like their manipulative tactics, that usually work, are ineffective. When I say, “ usually work”, this can mean for some of you that in the past whatever they did to gain the upper hand and keep you and this relationship situation under control, no longer works. Hence- their “ Wow” reaction. For others of you, this is simply a shock to them because they TRIED IT and FAILED miserably. I understand that not everyone appreciates or understands spiritual terminology- especially, when someone deems themselves as a spiritual being.
( as I was typing this, a spider was crawling on my leg- scary) Side bar, Spiders represent creation, interconnectedness, resilience, balance and harmony. In addition to, being omens for good fortune, luck and confirmation for being in alignment with your destiny and higher purpose. I do not believe in coincidences and so, it’s become clear to them that you are indeed “ Chosen”- for what? That’s for you to decide, however, the person on your mind feels like they’ve misjudged you. When someone misjudges you, they usually treat you with contempt. If you recall, I felt the need to acknowledge that not everyone appreciates, understands or respects those who claim to be spiritual beings. It’s becoming clear that your person judged you harshly and unjustly due to their ignorance. The magician card reversed further clarifies that your person believed that you were evil, a witch, warlock or worse because of your spiritual beliefs and practices. If I had the Doreen love oracle, I’m certain the card “
Religious factors are affecting your love life”, would appear. This now brings us back to the beginning, with your person’s reaction being “ WOW”. ( you see how everything is circling back and coming together- like that of a spiderweb?) I shuffled again and took a peek at the bottom of the deck and the four of pentacles reversed, the Hierophant and Hanged man is present. Your person is finally having a realization that their reasoning for abandoning you- rejecting you, was due to their lack of awareness and RESPECT for your spiritual beliefs. It goes without saying, your person is religious and before this point, was grounded ( 4 of pentacles) in their religious beliefs that clearly opposed your spiritual beliefs. This is a profound moment because the Judgement card is out with the Empress reversed, with you being The Empress ( man or woman). NO ONE rejects The Empress. I can see this person hurt you. I think we can all agree how painful it is when others misjudge you and refuse to understand you due to their ignorance and unwillingness to be challenged. Challenges promote growth, which is another spiritual meaning of spiders. Most fear spiders and clearly, your person WAS and STILL IS, SCARED OF YOU. ( as they should be) I’ll be FRANK, your person is a bitch. The difference now, is that they are admitting to themselves that they are a bitch.
Your person may have Saturn in Aries/ 1st house, Mars/ Pluto square, Neptune square Saturn, 12th & or 8th house placements, Earth sign placements, Sun square Neptune, Sun square Mars, prominent Uranus placements – but not limited to. People fear what they do not understand and who they cannot control. I am afraid ( no pun intended) that this is the dynamic with your person. I personally want to clarify, however, energetically, that would be overkill especially for your person. It has taken them some time to finally admit that they are fearful of you and everything you represent. Out of respect, ( the same respect they initially didn’t have for you) I think it’s best to allow them to marinate in their “ Awakening”. I can confidently say that though they fear you, they finally respect you. They’ve known that to be with you, it would require them to GROW spiritually with you which means they would have had to leave their religious beliefs behind. It was much easier to demonize and misunderstand you at the time, than it was, for you to challenge everything they believe and been taught.
For your sake ( whoever is reading this), Clarifying the Empress reversed and Judgment card- Temperance and Ace of Cups came out. Your person loves you ( likes you a lot) and they want to FIX the hurt and pain their rejection has caused. I pulled two more, and the King of Cups and Five of Pentacles came out. They are feeling the same Five of Pentacles that they made you feel. Your person could be a Scorpio , Cancer, Pisces, Capricorn, Virgo, or Taurus. I pulled a few love oracles, and I won’t name them all here however, all their judgements about you came out in the cards. They forced themselves to believe some negative things about you, man. Twin flames, Marriage, Let’s Elope are the only good cards that came out, that I strongly believe are in alignment with their “ awakening” and acceptance of who you are. Intuitively, I know this has been a long journey, years even. I don’t see ACTION, but I suppose becoming AWARE is a start.
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Pile (2) : Forgive But Never Forget
Cards: King of Swords, Six of Swords reversed, Eight of Wands, Nine of Swords, Knight of Cups and The World – at the bottom of deck.
For this pile, your environment may have been sending you messages- like seeing synchronicities. Birds flying above you ( or shitting on you or your car) , Horses, Frogs, Butterflies flying past you, Cats, People selling roses on the side of the road etc. Astrologically, I strongly feel that your Vertex and Part of Fortune has been activated. Now, your person “feels” like an apology is in order. Some of you may resonate with Pile (1) because toward the end I mentioned that I wasn’t seeing action, just awareness with their person. In Pile (2) I see mad action, and a lot of horses. Your person may be an Air Sign- Aquarius, Libra, Gemini or Fire Sign- Aries, Leo, Sagittarius or have those placements. ( maybe you do) Nevertheless, your person wants to apologize and or, take you out on a date.( or both)
It’s interesting, because when I attempt to interpret the cards, I come up with another meaning at the last minute. It feels like someone who is trying to have all their bases covered. It feels like someone is trying to make sure that there will be no reason for you to turn them down. I clarified the Knight of Cups and the 9 of cups, Three of Swords and Three of Pentacles card appeared. This suggest that this may be someone you are familiar with, who “owes” you an apology. This person, ( I can’t say your person because it appears they lost that title) wants to make you happy. Omg, the energy is somewhat strange. This person may be a bit awkward. They don’t communicate much. I am having a hard time typing. It’s like this person is very careful with their words. They don’t want to say or do the wrong thing. I strongly feel like you may resonate with Pile (1) because in that pile, their person was fearful of them. The energy seems a bit similar. Okay, so clarifying the King of Swords, the Hermit, Two of Wands, Six of Swords, and the Knight of Wands with the Eight of Pentacles at the bottom of the deck. No wonder, this person is coming off like they don’t speak much or are very cautious with what they say. Whoever this is to you; hurt you and stressed you out- to say the least ( no pun intended) and they want to come in the right way and make up for their past actions. They do not want to remind you of the past you’ve shared with them. Which means, they may not want to bring up the past. I am not saying they will try to brush things under the rug but… in some ways, that’s exactly what they intend to do. Looks like your past with them was a bit toxic, confusing and one sided. It appears to have been a situationship that clearly hurt you in the end. ( Wow, I’m tired of typing these short sentences. They really are cautious with their words!!!) Maybe this indicates one of the problems you had with this person- was the fact they were too controlled, short with their speech, emotionally unavailable and hard to read. OH! You felt it was hard to connect with them on a deeper and emotional level because clearly, you were the one putting in all the effort- hence the one sided dynamic.
This person wants to be YOUR PERSON and whenever they show up ( BECAUSE THEY WILL) expect them to communicate a lot more. Be prepared to hear that they are tired of fighting how they feel about you, being and acting all controlled aka. STIFF AS HELL, and that it was never just a sexually situationship. It was always more than that but like Pile (1), they were scared. . . Yup, I started shuffling out of my love oracle deck and “ They want you” came FLYING OUT !!! They love the way you smell ( sounds like a taurus thing ) They also want to start a family- whether that means with babies or pets with marriage in the future. Now, be careful because there are some cards that came out that are concerning. I am unable to tell if this is past energy that they want to apologize for or things you were suspicious about before.
The World Card denotes a new beginning, so I’d like to encourage an optimistic perspective HOWEVER, DO NOT BE A DUMMY. . . My unsolicited advice would be to make them prove and work for your forgiveness, remember the Three of Pentacles came out with the Three of Swords. Don’t allow one nice gesture ( or 5) , make you forget what transpired in the past. FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET!
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Pile (3): Divine Timing
Cards: 9 of Pentacles reversed, Three of Swords, 9 Of Swords, Eight of Wands, Queen of Wands reversed – Unknown at the bottom of the deck.
If there is a person, they are on the outside looking in because you won’t allow them in. I feel inclined to say that if you chose this pile, you are either still hurting from recent \ past hurts AND OR, you’ve learned from recent/ past hurts and decided that it’s best to stay to yourself. We all know how we feel and think when we’ve been hurt in relationships so- what’s understood does not need to be explained. We have also all heard the saying, “ when you aren’t looking for love, is when it finds you” BLAH BLAH right? Well, to clarify the Eight of Wands that is laying on top of the 3 of Swords- is the World card. Dare I say, new love is coming in?! Out of respect for the Unknown and The World cards- (as they are major arcana’s )
Therefore, indicates higher powers are at play here. It doesn’t matter how intuitive, tapped in or “ WOKE” any of us claim to be, there are just some things that we will not be given clarity on when we want it. It feels like this is such a moment. It reminds me of the scripture in Matthew 24:36 “ No one knows when that day or hour will come. Even the Angels in heaven and the Son don’t know. Only the father knows”. Interestingly enough, a train is going by at this very moment. ( an Omen that things are on track) From my love oracle deck, the cards- Camera, Coffin, I Like You, Wedding Rings and Paradise came out. The Camera card says, learn from past memories, reminiscing and perception- so this confirms for some of you that you have learned from your past mistakes as I forementioned above ( I pull cards as I go) and The Coffin card says, endings, new beginnings, growth, change and liberation. Pile (1) may resonate for some of you. Themes of growth and spiders came out.
However, All in All, I see a happy ending with this pile. The details are just elusive. This pile is Divinely Guided and on Divine timing. If you chose this pile and are not satisfied, that is a clear indication that you do not trust in The Divine and wish to be in control- which you will never be. I’m just the messenger.
I OFFER PERSONAL WRITTEN READINGS $20.00
PLEASE EMAIL ME: [email protected]
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!
IF ANY OF THESE PILES RESONATED PLEASE CONSIDER "HEARTING" OR REBLOGGING MY POST. I AM TRYING TO BUILD AND EXPAND MY BLOG AND I NEED YOUR HELP TO DO SO.
#predictions#krisluxxeeempress#pick a card#tarot reading#love tarot reading#love messages#lovers#romantic couple#romance#love letters#personal readings#tarot blog#tarot tumblr#3 piles
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PAC: “good karma my aesthetic. keep my conscience clear, that's why i’m so magnetic.” 🩰🍥🫧🪷
• what do you need to hear right now?
disclaimer ✩: take what resonates, leave what doesn't. i really appreciate y’all sm <3 for the patience, the love, the feedback and support. y’all are the greatest ever. i’m open to pac suggestions as well, so don’t hesitate to slide in my ask box! xoxo.
pile 1 ☂️ —
heyyy pile 1 ⭐️ what you need to hear right now is: release. relax and let go of any unhealthy attachments you may have to a certain person, place, idea or thing. i think you've been holding onto someone/something or the idea of what it could be/could’ve been. i pick up a feeling of yearning. you’ve been wanting something to work out in your favor, so you’ve been holding out…waiting to see if this situation will turn out how you anticipate. big 3 of wands energy. you’ve been waiting awhile now (i’m hearing weeks for some, months for others) for a clear answer. i think the more you wait around and stall things, the less likely things will go into motion. don’t chase, attract. remember that things will flow naturally to you and it’ll always work out in your favor no matter what — when one door shuts, several more will open. don’t put a time frame on it, you’ll get your answer/wish/clarity when you least expect. keep focusing on yourself and what you’re currently doing! whether that be going to school, work, the gym, studying, spending time with friends, etc. there’s a certain area in your life that you greatly want change to occur in, i’m heavily picking up for some that this is in regards to your love life, and again — i keep hearing that things will unfold in your favor when you least expect. very soon. you’re on the brink of something great, just don’t overthink it. relax, take a breath and just BE. your guides will handle the rest. love, prosperity and abundance are on the way to you. it just may not appear in the way you envision, which doesn’t mean it won’t happen at all. think about it this way, you might fantasize about coming across your dream person while you’re in a bookstore (on some ‘harry met sally’ type shit lol) so every time you go into a bookstore you’re kinda anticipating that to happen, but let’s say your busy at work or you’re frantically trying to prioritize doing your school work and studying and out of nowhere you look up and make eye contact with this person you’ve never seen before but you can feel the ✨vibe✨ like WHOA that’s…my person. i just see you being in your element when you meet this person pile 1, your mind will not be preoccupied/you will not have any precognitive thoughts — your person will just reveal themselves to you out of the blue. okay i feel like i’m getting carried away lol but everything’s gonna work out even better than you imagined pile 1 💗 trust that.
other channeled messages:
don't settle for less, pink + white by frank ocean, strawberry milkshake, chemtrails over the country club by lana del rey, leo sun, cancer moon, vedic astrology
pile 2 🦢 —
what's goodddd pile 2! i feel like you're in your self-love/healing era. you just bounced back from something and you did it with such resilience, ease and grace might i add. i'm hearing church girl by beyoncé, “i'm gonna love on me, nobody can judge me but me! i was born free.” okayyyyyy pile 2 i love this for y'all. i think some of you are really working on strengthening your throat chakra by speaking up for yourself and setting boundaries. just saw a meme that said “how i reclaimed the word ‘cunt’ by being one” OH WOW WOW WOW. i think you’re just over a lot of people and their bullshit, you may have just gotten out of a relationship, had a friendship breakup or recently left a job. good for you 💗whichever situation applies to you, i know it was draining and heavy on your shoulders. you finally feel like a weight has been lifted and you can spread your wings and be free. idk why i’m hearing some of you might be listening to a lot of lana del rey lately? (random but REAL af lol) i love that you know yourself at the core pile 2, you can’t fake it…if somethings not pleasing you or it’s not in your best interest, you know how to walk away and find something better. you don’t even know it, but you're inspiring to a lot of people. i think what you need to hear is: keep being your true authentic self. never forget where you came from and who helped you along the way, because i see that you have a big, bright and successful future ahead of you pile 2. you’re gonna be a star. “the diamond in the rough” from aladdin is what i’m hearing. you’ve got the wit, talent and empathy to get where you need to be in life. i wish you nothing but happiness and success pile 222 ♾️
other channeled messages:
hurricane by bridgit mendler, switch a n**** out by summer walker, olivia pope, sagittarius rising, cancer moon, pisces energy, save your tears remix by the weeknd & ariana grande, on my shoulders by sabrina claudio, red dress
pile 3 💵 —
hi pile 3 🤗 i’m getting rich vibes from y’all already lmfao, even if you aren’t (yet) there’s this energy of being very well-kept and liking the nicer things in life. you love you some good ol’ retail therapy. the message you need to hear right now is: spend your money wisely. i think you need to budget/save a bit more pile 3, you can sometimes go a bit overboard and indulge in the latest clothes, upscale restaurants or beauty products. you like nice things!!! there’s nothing wrong with that at all, you just need to make sure you’re prioritizing and balancing your earnings. some of you that picked this pile have very young energy lol like i can see you chilling at like 12am scrolling on youtube/tiktok and ooo’ing and aaa’ing at so many different product reviews and adding shit to your cart. some of you are tempted to buy stuff from the tiktok shop too lolll that was so oddly specific but i also feel like you've been big on protecting your peace lately. kickin’ back by mila j is coming to mind, “i’m kickin' back and i’m lightin' up doin' what the fuck i want. just rolled a wood, i’m feelin' good. just me, myself and this blunt.” i know das rightttt pile 3 🤭 you know your worth and you’re not settling for less than anything that you deserve — i love this.
other channeled messages:
luxurious by gwen stefani, need to know by doja cat, i just had an epiphany i need to go to tiffany’s, fenty gloss bomb, chanel chance, scorpio moon, catching flights not feelings
#pac#pick a card#pick a pile#pac reading#pick a card reading#intuitive reading#love pac#love reading#pac tarot#tarot reading#tarot#tarot pac#energy reading#p1utofairy
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Ari, if you feel like it, I desperately need you to elaborate on Alpha!Nanami....
referencing this post
gender neutral reader, no curses au.
cw for dubcon bonding (bc of heat)
jaskdksdj im not like. a nanami girl but i think the idea of average salary worker nanami who is an alpha is super funny and very in line especially because i think he really goes out of his way to hide it.
like. he really doesn't enjoy anything about it contrary to popular belief. the ruts exhaust him and he doesn't like being treated different as a result of his secondary sex so at his job, i think he hides his status and lives as a beta for the most part.
in my head - he ends up meeting you at his work. you don't work like... for his department. you're in like IT or some similarly isolated position at his workplace and he just. KNOWS. right away. it's so bothersome for him KDSJF
not only does he not like the idea of having a fated pair (guy who believes love is a choice etc etc) but he also finds you being his co-worker sooooo awful. he just finds the whole thing troublesome.
for an omega, you have an extremely blase and frank personality. nanami brings his work computer to you and you're new to the department or something. and as you both come to the realization that you're each others fated pairs - you barely react. nanami is in distress and you're just like 'oh? you're my pair huh?' AND THEN GO BACK TO YOUR WORK WITHOUT A SINGLE COMMENT.
and like. nanami is so confused he ends up going back to his desk. but like. that's definitely something you should talk about right? he barely knows your name and number so he goes back determined to at least find out your name. once he gets over the shock of having a fated pair he like rlly takes a second to notice you
AND IT STRESSES HIM OUT!! he invites you to lunch and asks you to tell him about yourself since he's a super responsible guy and you talk a sloths pace and you're entirely too nonchalant about everything. you don't wear scent patches as an omega, you're not really on any medications either, your heat is irregular, you don't think of yourself as an omega at all, you skip meals. every detail stresses him out more and more.
a lot of people mistake nanami for being the kind of person who like. really willingly wants certain dynamics and i dont view that as true. for him, encountering you as the disaster you are is the first time in his life he feels like he is an alpha and he means that in the worst way possible KDJSFJKS. like you stress him out so much he's like FUCK. i need to get their shit together or IM gonna get stressed out.
so nanami ends up spending a lot of time with you mostly just trying to sort your life out for you but he finds that.... you're very? relaxing to be around? nanami at one point feels like he lives to work and doesn't work to live imo.
but you're not like that. nothing seems to really bother you. you're like... an adorable unconcerned sloth. and sure you could be a little more conscious but it really relaxes him to hear you talk because you view everything very simply and don't worry about whats not in your control if you don't have too. and you're weirdly, crazy endearing when you show expressions other than sleepiness or boredom.
you like. weirdly melt his stress away. he finds you so soothing to be with and it's his first time really feeling like he's acting on instinct because he gets rlly gradually possessive as he realizes how attractive you are an omega. there are probably a lot of other alphas who would kill to be with someone as comfortable by as you
he becomes soooo fond of you its genuinely very scary for him. like as you get closer in your relationship and the distance closes - you end up snuggling him on his couch and he's so content and he ends up scenting you like some kind of overexcited teenager because you are so STUPIDLY cute like that. you sometimes even tease him about it and that is sooo bad for his heart.
he kind of loses control around you dkjskj. when he bites your nape for the first time, its because you've gone into heat and he loses his mind because fuck you smell so good and you are so cute when you are begging for his fucking knot that he ends up fucking you with your arms pulled back and digging his teeth into your nape until you're all cozy again.
once your heat passes he literally prostrates himself in front of you after the fact. ITS SO FUNNY DFKJS. he drops his head down to the floor bc its sooo out of character for him. in very you fashion though, you sort of shrug and tell him "im glad you're my fated pair, nanami-san. you're a good alpha," and he just. implodes internally. he's thinking about how to get married like days after and he's so seriously in love with you even though he's still kinda stoic
to him you're like. the only good thing that comes out of him being an alpha LOL
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behind pixels: sequel | jjk
jeon jungkook x reader (f)
genre: sex worker au (jk)
rating: mature audiences only (strictly 18+)
summary: after visiting a certain little app where a guy assisted you during a very stressful night, you realize the man is closer to you than you think.
warnings: not another continuation to a college au. . yes, yes it is; a bit of fluff, a but of smut; wetdreams-ish; masturbation; clitorial stimulation; fingering; in a public location… if you know what i mean; penetrative sex; unprotected sex; oc is a bit insecure; crush culture; i think that’s it honestly
word count: 12.7 thousand words
posted: may 13, 2023
notable songs: self control - frank ocean | love is only a feeling - joey bad$$ | day dream - destin conrad | fire in the sky - anderson paak
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It’s been two weeks.
An entire fourteen days since you were blessed with JK’s instructions as assistance to a night of relief from a collection of frustrating days.
The night when his thunderous voice soothingly lead you towards the most delicious orgasm you’ve experienced. Days after that very event you found yourself dwelling in the fanasities he had communicated from the other side of the screen — dusting off the records stored deep in your brain. All you wanted, all you craved was his voice, his attention, and the one thing you had not been able to experience yet, his touch.
After locking your dorm room door, you removed you shirt and shorts before plopping down on your cotton bed sheets. Your eyes were shut tightly blocking out the brightness from the lamp on the nightstand, with the constant linger of JK in your head your hand began traveling lower until it finally pushed past the hem of your panties. The feeling of your fingertips against your clit sent bolts of electricity en route down your back. You began, working towards that same finish line you’d once crossed when talking to JK on Eargasm. But it wasn’t the same, it’s like you were on that same road you once were but your destination moved farther and farther into the horizon.
Still, with beads of sweat streaming down your temples and with your right hand going numb you continued to rub circles against the sensitive bud in-between your folds.
“Come on, come on,” you huffed as your already muggy dorm became hotter and hotter.
But it wasn’t working — It was useless. Your fingers were useless.
“Doll,” you heard his voice from across the room.
“JK?” your eyes flew open envisioning the man you’ve only spoken to from behind your computer screen. You weren’t sure why but it was so hard to draw the connection between the two of them. There was JK, the man who helped you just a few nights ago with his alluring utters. Then, there was him, still JK only he was the boy who sat behind the front desk in the student center with his nose constantly stuck behind a book. They were the same person but they couldn’t be any more different.
Standing at completely different ends of the road. One became the personification of all of your carnal desires, while the other hid behind a clear shell unbeknownst to the effects his beauty had on you, on all of those around him.
“What are you doing here?” you asked, dazed by the fact that he was here. . in your dorm and you were semi naked in his presence yet again, “how did you find out where I live? How did you get in?”
“Don’t worry doll,” he still wore the black mask he wore when he was on camera with you but you could tell by the way his eyes crinkled up that he was smiling behind the dark cloth, “I’m here to help. And by the looks of it seems like you just might need my assistance once again.”
He nodded in the direction of your hand buried under the fabric of your panties.
“I don’t have a masturbation addiction, OK?” you sat up on the bed resting your back on the headboard.
“I never said that,” he chuckled, “if you haven’t noticed I’m a sex worker and if anything, I’m addicted to making people cum.”
“Right.” You cleared your throat, his bluntless shooting straight down to your core.
“By my records I made you cum very. . very quickly,” yes, you were still succumbing to the endorphins of your thoughts circling around him — too focused on the way the bed dipped right beside you, “do you remember that?”
“Huh?”
“Come on, doll,” his hand landed right beside your thigh and he began gently stroking the fabric of your sheets, “don’t tell me you forgot already.”
“I didn’t,” there was a tingle slithering on the surface of your skin, “I was just thinking—“
“You’re thinking of him again aren’t you?” he shook his head, “just remember I’m just a couple messages away and he isn’t even around.”
“Him?” if only he knew. He was him.
“Him. That boy you told me about,” the pads of his fingers brushed against your thigh leaving a trail of goosebumps behind, “the one you said you were thinking about when you were touching yourself.”
“I wasn’t thinking of him.”
“Don’t spare my feelings doll. Tell me the truth. I can take it,” in a way he was right you were thinking of him, the boy from the student center but that also meant you were thinking of JK — how would you even go about explaining this situation to the very man who was clueless to the fact that he was the only person occupying your thoughts?
“When you wanna forget about him for a bit you know where I’ll be doll,” he leaned in and whispered in your ear softly, “I’ll show you a good time.”
His cool breath met the shell of your ear almost in a slowed motion, it left you a shuddering mess. Overcome by the feeling of the electrical currents coursing through your veins. You were addicted to that very feeling but specially because you knew he was the only person who could make you feel what you felt.
“JK, I promise, I’m not—“ you opened your eyes only to be met by a vacant space beside you on the bed.
Fuck. Not again, not again, not again. Everytime you found yourself aiming lower in an attempt for self release he visited you. Storming your thoughts like a tropical storm and wreaking havoc in his path. Reminding you that your fingers no longer had a sense of direction in mapping out your fantasies.
Your fingers now entirely futile. All while your sexual frustrations rose and your cunt continued its rhythmic drumming mimicking a quickening heartbeat. It was increasingly painful and it reminded you of the ease you’d once experienced under JK’s ministrations.
“I’m going crazy. .” you whispered out into the void, “I’m going fucking crazy.”
Temptation drew you closer and closer to the laptop laid out on top of your desk. Although you tried to restrain yourself against it, leaning back on the feeling was much easier. And before you knew it you were sitting on the computer chair with the browser opened up staring right back at you.
In your mind, you typed out Eargasm over and over again — yet there was a hint of hesitation restraining your hands to the arm’s rest.
“He’s just a couple words and clicks away,” you typed out the letters but your hand remained hovering over the keys incapable of actually conducting the search. Surrounded by silence and the anxious streaks of hesitancy — there were an abundant number of questions clouding your mind. But the main one remained whether he would even want you there.
“Just do it, you little bitch,” realistically speaking the chance of JK being online was high, but wasn’t exactly the issue. You knew he extended an invitation for you to visit him at your leisure but in the back of your head you couldn’t help but wonder if you were pushing it demanding his attention this quickly?
The clacking of the keys echoed among the walls of your room. Immediately, your eyes were exposed to the bright turquoise full screen with the seven letters highlighted in a bright pink tone. The more you ogled the welcome screen the more you were consumed . . fervid with the excitement cooking up in your stomach as you came to terms with the fact that JK was so close. In a haste you clicked on the message icon wanting to pull up the very familiar username but to your demise there was a ruby colored ring surrounding his icon. He was with someone else. . Someone who wasn’t you.
This is his job. You repeated.
He does this every night. You repeated.
There was an aching sting springing in the center of your chest and while prior to that night your heart remained at a sinus rhythm, in this moment that changed and you could feel as the organ slowed pumping almost coming to a full stop.
It really shouldn’t sting but you couldn’t help that it did.
“Please tell me you’re planning to go back home at some point this summer,” your best friend approached the table you occupied on the second floor of the dinning hall.
“Not a chance,” you swayed your pointer finger left and right.
Though, campus was significantly bare during the following scorching months there was nothing to really go back home to. While, you didn’t necessarily have a bad relationship with your parents — they were just never there. The purpose for their living and breathing was reduced down to avoiding you so they became addicted to their jobs. A pair of workaholics looking to forget about their personal lives, which only resulted in becoming estranged to their only daughter in the process.
And at the end of the day you’d rather spend nearly all three-hundred and sixty five days of the year on school grounds as opposed to being cooped up in a ‘house’ with nothing but empty rooms and frigid hallways.
“I can’t believe you actually chose to stay here. If I were you I’d be springing right past those brick columns and archway,” she sighed resting her head on her palm.
“How about we actually get you to pass that pesky math elective so that we can get back to your family for the entirety of the summer.”
“What about you?” she asked.
“What about me?”
“What will it take to finally get you to go back home at least once next summer?”
“I don’t think anything is compelling enough for me to go back there and ruin my summer,” you shrugged while taking another bite of your sandwich.
“Come on,” she whined, “Nothing?”
You shook your head — there was nothing back home for you but stark loneliness. That was crystal clear to you.
“There’s not a special somebody waiting for you?” Once again, you shook your head.
Nada.
“So you’re telling me there's not a mystery man who’s the root of all your pent up sexual frustration?” She raised an eyebrow at you, clearly not believing a single word out of your mouth. You hushed her immediately, scanning your surroundings to make sure the people in the surrounding tables weren’t hearing in on your conversation. They weren’t.
“Can you shut the fuck up?”
“You act as if it’s a crime,” she rolled her eyes, “everyone masterbates and it’s actually healthy you know.”
“I would really appreciate it if we could hold this conversation until we are behind closed doors,” you uttered through gritted teeth, feeling like you had the label ‘recent masturbater’ plastered on your forehead.
“Fine,” she took yet another bite of your apple, “will you at least tell me if Eargasm helped you illustrate all of your wildest fantasies.”
“You make it sound like it’s some sort of elaborate form of art,” you guffawed.
Her bulging eyes stared at you as if you’d insulted one of her family members or a pet, “It is an art form. It definitely is. Just think how hard it must be to help someone get off by quickly reading their body language through a screen.”
“When you put it like that the guy I saw must be a magician,” God, you tried stripping all hints of excitement from your voice at the casual acknowledgment of his presence.
If anything JK himself was an art piece himself, illustrated onto the canvas with pristine brush strokes detailing all the perfect curvatures of his face and physique. He draped himself in dark hues and even within the square frame just hung on the wall he was a light source. One that demanded your attention, holding eye contact at all times and refused to let you dedicate even a bit of your attention to anything or anything who wasn’t him.
“What do you mean by that?” she squinted while crossing her arms at her chest.
“Well, for starters,” you shrugged, “I kind of never turned on my camera. . Not for the beginning of the session at least.”
“Not for the entire session?”
“Exactly.”
“Bitch, that was a question not a statement.”
You sighed; blanketed with bashfulness, “so after I requested a video session and he finally called I physically couldn’t hit the camera button.”
“And what did he say?”
“Nothing condescending,” you took a sip of your water, “he was actually really nice about it. That was pretty much the session.”
“But you insinuated you turned it on at some point?”
You stared out the glass windows adoring the wall beside the table — Now, you began to weigh your options. You could either deflate, avoid or confess. And at this point you were one hundred percent sure she has seen far too much. Much more than you ever intended to show anyone on this entire campus.
“I said that?” Avoid? Ok.
“You did. .” She pushed her chair closer to yours, perhaps her attempt at creating a concealed atmosphere.
“I have nothing to tell.”
You kissed her teeth simulating hints of annoyance at your discretion, “Bitch. . stop acting clueless. You’re a shit liar.” She eyed the way you anxiously played around with your hooped earrings.
“I’m not hiding anything” you let go of the silver jewelry and sat up on your chair, “And I’m not a shit liar.”
“Fine. Spare the juicy secrets.” She shrugged, “but at least tell me who you saw.”
After giving the tables around you a thorough scan to make sure he wasn’t near you finally whispered the only name you knew him by into her ear, “I almost chose Tae but then remembered you see him so I saw JK instead.”
“Well, I’m glad you didn’t cause Tae is mine,” she grinned like a fool. A love struck fool.
“Yours, as in yours and probably a hundred other girls. You know that, right?”
“That’s the crude reality isn’t it?” she sat the half eaten apple on the table huffing continuously like a mopey child, “how was JK though?”
Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth and while there were a million praises you wanted to express, all of the words sat idle in the back of your throat, “he was good.”
“Just. . good?”
“Well, better than good actually,” you began, urging your mind to unscramble the words needed to amplify his saccharine aid, “He was gentle and patient. But even more than that he was also sweet and caring.”
“I’ve read this man’s description before so he has tattoos and an eyebrow piercing right?” you nodded in confirmation, “plus he’s a literal angel?”
“Pretty much.”
“Dear God, how are you even breathing right now?” she placed her arms at your shoulders and rocked you back and forth emphasizing your existence here on planet earth as you finally comprehended that you weren’t just living some sort of venereal dream.
“I-I honestly don’t even know,” the flashed lingers of that night resided in your mind in small clips — the more you tried to recall the amatory details the more your mind became cloudy, dazed in its own lustful elixir. A potion so potent you were still high days after just off that hour doze, “it was definitely a night.”
“You should visit him again,” she began poking your side, “I know you wanna see him again.”
“I don’t know,” you giggled, pushing yourself away from her finger, “I honestly think it was a one time thing.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
General Ed classes were frankly the worst part of university. You couldn’t quite understand the need to take all of the same classes you took and passed in highschool just so that they could reaffirm that you could in fact do math or knew your basic knowledge of biology or chemistry.
It was bullshit — An evident cash grab scheme. All at the expense of dedicating one’s freshmen year attending classes we truly didn’t even really need applied to our major.
You could sincerely rant about this all day long but it was currently nine in the morning, you were running low, (very low actually), on coffee and you were already ten minutes late to your intro to biology class. Your pace was matched with long strides as you were practically running through the courtyard.
Finally pushing through the glass door you felt the way the blanket of sweat covered your forehead. Leaving your skin as bright as polished glass and your breath shortening as a result of the rapid trip between your dorm and the library.
“Fuck,” you were out of breath choosing to take a seat on the bench near the entrance for a seconds before reluctantly hoping back on your feet and trotting up the stairs to the computer room.
Looking through the door’s window you saw the professor lecturing away. You practiced about a dozen ways to go in before you finally convinced yourself to just barge in — which eventually you did but a wave of regret washed over you when the door behind you closed with a loud bang and suddenly all glares were on you.
“Sorry,” you muttered.
“No worries, it happened to almost everyone here. Seems like the door is louder than we perceived,” the professor replied.
Scanning around the mid-size room you saw foreign faces staring back at you until your bestfriends smiled beamed brightly from the table at the end of the room. She was sitting alone with two vacant chairs on either side “Yeah, seems like it.”
“Well, welcome to Intro to Conducting Research. I’m Mr. Kim.” he introduced himself with a tender smile, “I hope you found your way ok. I know this one’s kind of a hidden gem unlike the rest of the lecture halls.”
“It did take me just a bit of time,” you chuckled, suppressing your nerves as they quickly urged you to scramble away from the front of the class and just sink into a chair to prevent yourself from verbalizing anymore idiotic babbles and incoherencies, “is the seating assigned?”
“No, no go ahead and find a seat wherever you’d like. We were just getting started.”
Quickly, you found yourself plopping on the chair beside your bestfriend, puffing out the constrained breath that had taken your chest cavity hostage as a result of your embarrassing entrance. Mr. Kim continued his first day lecture which mainly consisted of a syllabus reading, his life’s story and the scrambled rules to an icebreaker on the white board.
“What do the icebreaker questions say?” your friend asked, squinting to get a better look at the board, “I left my glasses at my dorm.”
“Does it matter?” you slouched down aiming for complete comfort slinging your feet on the metal bar, “we literally know everything about each other already.”
“Bullshit, I have no idea what your name is. .” Her delivery was accompanied with low and raspy vibratos. If you didn’t know any better you would have thought she was mimicking Mr. Kim’s voice. She pulled her phone from one of the pockets of her book bags and began scrolling aimlessly.
Your chuckle was airy and quickly vanished when you heard the rusty hinges of the door wailing out. The loud noise from the door meeting the threshold startled you although your eyes were already glued to the front of the room.
“That door is going to drive me fucking crazy,” the exasperation in her words was evident and you were about to agree but suddenly, you had moved from your place right beside her — feeling like she was now miles away. While you were now in this narrow space similar to an alley or tunnel. In the distance you saw her still glued to her phone screen while sitting on the opposite end; succumbed to pitch blackness. Even as you stood and attempted to sprint in her direction you were condemned to the enclosed walls.
You couldn’t tell whether you were trapped within a dream or a nightmare but he was here.
JK was here.
That was the torment drumming itself amongst the walls of your skull as the beat etched the stills of that night deep into your brain. The night you swore you would forget yet here he was to remind you of every second of it. Yet, your gaze was focused on him and you just couldn’t peel your eyes away.
You’d concluded it was entirely his fault. He possessed the kind of beauty you’d only ever heard derived from the ancient Gods of Greece — and as if he was a descendant of Aphrodite he held distinct associations to his name. You would argue JK was synonymous to beauty (obviously), love, passion and most certainly lust.
You must have been deep in orbit because you couldn’t recall the first or the second or the hundredth time your friend called out for you, so much so that she began shaking you to get you to snap out of it.
“Cute boy is coming this way,” she nodded in his direction, and you quickly realized he was closer than you had perceived, “Look alive bitch. He definitely looks like your type.”
“I don’t have a type,” you whispered through gritted teeth — he was close now. Just a few feet away.
“Yes, you do,” she mumbled back, “he’s practically a carbon copy of your Eargasm boyfriend.”
“He’s not,“ you argued quietly.
With her giggles circling through the air and your bulging eyes of horror JK finally made it to the proximity of your table and his soft utters sent an algid shiver to take route on your skin freezing you right into place.
His name was Jungkook, you’d learned.
He was JK but he was also Jungkook.
Between unremitting stutters you introduced yourself briefly and he took the liberty of occupying the only vacant chair left in the classroom which also happened to be right next to your best friend.
Small talk was your kryptonite and while your friend excelled in keeping conversations alive, you sat opposite the two of them lulled into space. Making your best attempt to seem as least interested as possible. But the truth was whenever you heard his voice you thought a command would follow right behind it — just like the ones he communicated that night.
Your thoughts were scrambled into a mess and there was a dull ache in between your legs further accentuating the frustration you’ve felt for far too long.
“What about you?” he asked, his eyes were duly set on you.
“Huh?” his brown eyes were so much more invasive in person and you felt like he devoured you with them.
“Is this your second year too?” he repeated.
“Uh, yeah,” you said, “it is.”
“Don’t mind her,” your friend said, “she’s a little out of it.”
“It’s ok,” he smiled; and quickly you noticed the silver hoop sparkling on the corner of his lip. Was that always there? You hadn’t noticed before. “Being here for the summer has us all going a little crazy.”
“Is this your first summer here?”
He nodded, “I usually head back home for summer but I figured I would get my gen ed’s out the way.”
“We all had the same idea I suppose,” you contributed.
“It’s better than being here for a whole extra semester,” she played mindlessly with the zippers on her backpack.
“What about you guys?” he asked, “is this your first summer here.”
Your friend quickly began recounting her endless summer adventures from years prior. . far far away from campus. Jungkook nodded and they both reflected on the forsaken summer ahead. Deflated at the exceeding number of voyages they’ll be missing while condemned to remain on campus.
You couldn’t help but wonder about the things you had kept from yourself. . A lot perhaps.
With the company of the scorching heat of the summer months daylight savings time lurked right behind it—providing the longevity of the sun, as the Earth seems to lean a bit closer to the star and decrease its speed in rotation.
And here you were melting away by the very sun. Unbeknownst to the so-called wonders of the summertime. Barred from any of the memories everyone seemed to be defined by: the best months of the year, the best moments of your life they’d say.
While enthralled in your own thoughts you heard your friend’s voice though it was a bit muffled, still you were able to make out what she said, “Ellie is over there. I’m gonna go say hi. You two talk okay?”
Jungkook chuckled softly. Why would she say that? Ugh, she made it weird. She definitely made it weird.
“Is she always like this?” he asked, leaning a bit closer in your direction and although he still remained in his chair at a considerable distance, you could feel the waves of his body heat crashing against you.
“Always,” there was a hint of nervousness stained on your tongue but you swallowed it down. Or at least tried to, “life’s never boring when she’s around.”
“You guys been friends long?” he asked, gis voice still vibrated in your inner ear, sounding like the beat of drums. It truly did frazzle your nerves.
“Yeah, we’ve been friends for a bit.”
He nodded. Simply soaking in what you’ve said—there was nothing else to say but you urged to hear the strumming of his sweet words just once more.
“What about you,” you clasped your balmy hands on top of the table, “you got any friends around here?”
“Yeah,” Jungkook nodded, “I have a couple. We all live near each other back home too so I’m never allowed a moment of peace.”
“Seems like we’re kind of living under the same pretenses.”
“Seems like it. Maybe, we could escape away together one day.”
Together? Did he just say together? As in the both of you, on the same route. . Intentionally, while in each other’s company?
The silence between the two of you was deafening, you became nearly incompetent; unable to communicate anything corrigible. Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth and your throat became dry. So fucking dry.
“Or-“ he began, seemingly taken back by your lack of verbal communication.
“Yes,” you finally said, “I’d like that very much.”
“You promise?”
“One day.”
The first week of research class was slow. . repetitive and you couldn’t help the way your thoughts wandered off to your conversation with Jungkook the first day of class. How you promised each other one day—Just one day but that was as far as it has gone so far.
Even though, in that moment, you couldn’t feel farther away from him.
You’d barely uttered a word to each other but the patented ‘hello’ and ‘bye’ but that was the extent of it. There had been nothing else. Plus he no longer sat near, he was three tables away with his friend, Namjoon who had switched in on day two of class.
You couldn’t ignore the ping in your heart when you walked in that day and you saw him that far away—You could no longer spark up nuisance conversations, or sneak glances when you pretended to write your notes or have the sweetness of his vanilla scent inundating your nostrils.
It has all gone to shit. With fervent frustration you trotted up the stairs to your dorm on the second floor. Looking forward to laying in the comfort of your bed until you have to physically peel yourself away from your sheets.
The first strike was pitched the moment you pulled out your key card from the back pocket of your jeans and it immediately hit the floor. Conducting a string of breathing exercises to ease your rising vexation you picked up the card once more and took a deep breath before sliding it into the reader. The world was pitted against you that day though, because as soon as you retrieved the card and reached for the knob the electronic lock dinged and flashed its red light.
You tried again and again and again—all your attempts leading to the same result. Until finally your irritation ran rampant through your veins and you continuously banged on your door with your balled fists as if that would have made a difference. There was no one on the other side who could possibly rescue you, your only solution lived in the student center. . Visiting the very booth occupied by a certain boy who lived in your heart and mind.
“Oh c’mon, not today,” you mumbled leaning against the cold wooden door, “fucking Monday’s are always shit.”
The way to the student center was not long at all but your calves were torched with the amount of walking you’d already done for the day. Luckily, as you pulled the door open the hallways were vacant which meant there were no lines and most importantly no waiting.
“Finally, this damned day might just be turning around,” you mumbled to yourself.
You walked down the corridor, entered the second to last room and there he was sitting behind the rectangle frame carved into the wall. Jungkook’s chin rested on his palm. His long strands were left in a disarray but it made it work. He truly did. The rest of his body was hidden behind the tall desk but even from your position near the door you could see the collar of his black t-shirt. Even as the bell on top of the door chimed his attention was consumed by the brightly lit screen laid out in front of him.
“Hi,” he greeted, not looking up in the direction of the door once, “welcome to card and ID services. How may I help you?”
“Is this how you greet all the students who pop in here?” you teased with what you recalled to be your most idiotic smile plastered on your face.
He chortled finally realizing who it was, “if I would’ve known it was you I would have given you my undivided attention from the moment you walked in.”
Realizing you stood without your friend as a shield for conversations, you swallowed your nervousness. “You say a lot but I bet you don’t mean half of what comes out of your mouth.”
“I live by codes of honesty, doll.”
There was a stumble in your step as soon as you heard the pet name he uttered through your laptop screen all those nights ago. The same one that had you lured under his spell, in a disarray of emotions, whimpering babbles of nothing at all and everything all at once.
“Whatever you say, Jungkook,” you rolled your eyes. “I’m actually here for a reason, not just for your charms and to see a pretty face.”
“Charms and a pretty face huh?” he smirked.
“Anyway,” you diverted the conversation away from your inane choice of words, “I’m actually here because I can’t open my dorm door with this thing anymore.”
“Is it working though?”
“No,” you slid the card over to him on the surface of the desk. You were hoping to get a peak of his tattoos as he reached out for it but he wore a hoodie. “it isn’t working like. . at all.”
“Actually, I was talking about my charismatic personality and dashing good looks.” His annoying and compelling magnetism had you in conflict between wanting to smack him upside the head or suck his dick behind the counter. “According to you of course.”
“Let’s table the cockiness for now and focus on the actual problem taking root,” you tapped your fingers in the plastic rectangular key.
Jungkook smiled and took the plastic key before sitting back on his office chair and typing away purposely into his keyboard. Even under the shitty lighting of this holed up office space his attractiveness was evident.
“How did you even manage to fuck up your card this bad?” he asked, not really demanding an answer but you shrugged anyway, “the computer won’t even read it.”
“I really have no idea.”
“This is gonna cost you, you know” his eyes still remained on the screen.
“I thought this shit was free?” you argued, “don’t we pay enough tuition to cover a little damaged keycard. I should’ve just broken my way in.”
Jungkook simply shook his head whilst dragging his chair back towards the printer to fetch your card.
“Consider that we’re very well acquainted classmates. Can you please deduct fifty-percent from what you were going to charge?”
“Well acquainted classmates?” His expression was hard to read but if you had to guess he seemed a bit hurt. . perhaps offended. But you could also just be misreading the situation. “And here I thought we were really good friends.”
“Aren’t they synonymous?”
“Not to me,” he held the new card towards you only to pull it back when you reached for it.
“Fine,” you rolled your eyes at him. “We’re friends. Great friend actually.”
“Hm, I don’t know. Sounds a bit disingenuous,” he sat back on his chair still holding your key hostage.
You scoffed. “And how would you possibly know that?”
“I can read people.”
“I don’t believe that for a second.”
He smirked, “I can always just show you how well I can read people.”
The intent behind his words was blurred behind thick lines and while you genuinely thought he wanted to plead his case, you couldn’t help but feel like there were hints of temptation behind his promise.
It actually took you a bit off guard—though, not really. Jungkook, like JK, (his alter ego?) was a concoction of sensuality and comfort. He is the personification of sweetness and while that was a fact he also had a player persona and he was driven by flirtatious mannerism.
The perfect combination of two.
“Is this how you spend most of your day? Harassing all of the girls who come by to get their keycards fixed.”
“Harrasing is such an ugly word,” he smiled. That stupid that was so compelling it actually drew you closer and closer to him. “Besides you’re the only one I like to fuck around with.”
“Lucky me.”
“Lucky you,” he repeated in a hushed tone, placing your card on the wooden surface while his hand remained on top of it, swallowing it whole under his palm. “If you really wanna test your luck I want to offer a proposition.”
“What would that proposal entail?” You removed his palm and finally grabbed the card, shoving it in your back pocket. You tried to hide it but the feeling of your fingers meeting his ignited sparks to crackle in the pit of your stomach and instantly you were blinded by bright lights, perhaps fireworks.
“One day, remember?” Jungkook’s eyes are mesmeric, stroked with intricate detail, dabbed with a tone of cafè noir, glossed over as a final coat offering a shiny layer.
“One day, yes,” you confirmed taking yourself back to your conversation on day one, “you offered to take me around and show the beauty of summer. Everything I’ve been missing apparently.”
Jungkook shook his head light-heartedly. “Right. I was just wondering if we could upgrade the singular term to plural.”
“What do you mean?”
“One day,” he repeated. “Can we change that to a couple of days instead?”
Days. . This implies that you’ll be spending days with Jungkook? This felt like a cultivation of your own personal heaven. Initially, when he proposed the idea to you back in class a seed had been planted in your head, slowly blooming a flower which swayed briskly the more you thought about Jungkook and being able to ever spend time alone with him.
“You know I didn’t actually think you meant any of it,” you lied, you believed him or at least you wanted to.
“Did I not just say I’m a man of honesty?”
“Apparently that’s your morale code, right?” you raised your eyebrow at his claims of integrity.
“Of course, it is.” He confirmed, “don’t sound so surprised please.”
“Not surprised. Just absorbing all of this newfound information.”
“Absorbing sounds a lot like mocking.”
“Mocking is such an ugly word,” you teased.
“Ha—ha, very funny,” he uttered jokingly accompanied by a rumbling fake laugh, “you know what’s not funny?”
“What?” you tilted your head slightly with a smug smile painted on your lips.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“I do?” you hummed.
“You really strive to puncture my ego don’t you?” his gaze was set on you intently, his dark orbs read you slowly from head to toe. It made your palms balmy and you could feel a tremble taking route at your lower extremities.
Walking towards the door your shaky hand reached for the handle and opening it before turning back one last time. “The answer is yes.” You walked out although you heard a string of questions following right behind you, all of them left unanswered.
Yesterday was Friday, which meant today was Saturday. You knew that. You were competent enough to map out the days of the week accordingly. . Still, you weren’t quite sure why you heard an alarm blare through the walls of your dorm at six in the morning, startling you right out of the comfort of your slumber. Now, just thirty minutes past seven after rushing your morning routine thinking you’d ‘late for class’ you sat in bed showered with no real plans for the day ahead.
Your bowl of instant oatmeal was now empty and sitting on the nightstand beside your bed.
Navigating through the multitude of apps on your laptop was not as entertaining as you once perceived and although it did ease your boredom for a bit. Now you sat with the base panel sticking to your thighs staring at the home screen with nothing else to probe into.
“Come on,” Jungkook’s voice was barely above a whisper, once again he seems to have invaded your thoughts, “I know you wanna visit me.”
“I’m not sure what you mean. I don’t need to visit the student center today.”
“You know what I’m talking about, doll,” the words bounced in your head, “I know you remember.”
You squeezed your eyes shut, your attempt at trying to vanish him from your mind entirely. But even if you hated to admit it you couldn’t help but crave that feeling of him being here even if it was through the building blocks of your own imagination—It just felt so real. The heat of his presence felt so real and truly you just wanted to be consumed by it.
“Last time, I visited you. . You were a little busy.”
“That was last time,” he laid back sinking into the softness of your mattress and pillows, “I promise I’m all yours today.”
His commands were like the songs of sirens inching you closer to the very spot where he wanted you to be. Very easily you typed in the name of the website you’d grown very familiar with on the browser and quickly clicked on the last messages between the two of you — he was online and without indication of being in another session. That’s a good sign.
Yeah.
You can call.
Your fingers hovered over the keyboard without indication on how to approach a conversation because for one you wanted to speak to him but it was also eight in the morning and Eargasm was a simple gateway to an orgasm. Not to mention, you’d be talking to JK not Jungkook and while the two were the same person they were also different.
BunnyBoy98 is typing…
Fancy seeing you
back here ;)
You quite literally could not move.
Have you missed
me?
Please. Don’t flatter
yourself.
It’s not flattery.
Last I recall, I
did make you cum.
My fingers did that.
Not you.
Who was the guiding
voice though?
Right.
Right.
Don’t you ever
forget it, doll.
Is there a reason
you messaged me?
I like that about
you, you know.
What?
Your bluntness.
It reminds me of
someone I know.
It’s hot.
There’s someone else? Someone who occupies his thoughts regularly it seems. Your heart felt heavier as the sharp blade pierced right through it leaving behind a vast hole and an incurable wound. You weren’t really sure why but it hurt so bad.
But you knew it should not. His job required sparking up conversations with dozens of girls on a daily basis and helping at least a dozen more find their culmination.
You cannot feel anything.
Thinking of other girls
in my presence? Shame
on you BunnyBoy.
Sorry, doll.
I promise right
now is all about you.
But we seem to have
started on the wrong
foot. How can we fix
that, BunnyBoy?
Use me as you
please.
As you read his request there was a shift in the atmosphere. Sort of like what you felt back in back that first day, where you were briefly dreaming inside of a dream or like what you imagined it would feel like if the Earth ever slammed down on its brakes coming to an abrupt halt. Actually, you were sitting in a massive slingshot just waiting to be catapulted into space — it was all too grand to minimize into coherent thoughts, too great to be reality.
But it was and you were pulled right out of your own illusion when the phone call icon began vibrating repeatedly signaling there was an incoming call.
While your head was still swimming among the cottony clouds your fingers somehow managed to hit the green button on the call from JK popping up on your screen.
“I was beginning to become hopeless,” his voice was so distinctive the minute he began talking your skin became covered in goosebumps.
“Why were you becoming hopeless?” To this day, you wondered how you were able to point him out even in a crowd just by his voice and he’s yet to identify yours. Perhaps, that is exactly the reason why you were so comfortable speaking to him here — and adopting the confident persona you lack in real life.
“When I call there’s usually an answer just by the first ring.”
“Things are different today, BunnyBoy,” you laid down and placed the laptop on the pillow right beside your head. “I make the requests today, remember?”
You were nervous and you weren’t quite sure just how much of this you could actually pull off but you were willing to try just to show him a good time.
“It’s your turn to tell me what you desire most,” you tried to maintain a whisper to your tone. Not only was that your go-to interpretation of seductiveness but it was also really fucking early in the morning and the last thing you needed was to be the dirty talk alarm for your dorm neighbors.
“I like to be the gateway to heaven.”
“Elaborate.”
“You know exactly what I mean,” he snickered. Of course, he was referring to the art of making someone orgasm and he was right you were all too familiar with it. . Especially coming from him.
“What is it that you like so much about it?”
“It’s just an addicting feeling. I don’t really know how to put it into words,” you could tell he was talking through a wide grin, “it’s such a vulnerable moment for most people but I can’t help but drink the other person in entirely until I’m drunk off the antics and mannerism of their orgasm.”
“You get off by getting other people off?”
“I guess that’s an easier way to explain it.”
“So do I need to get off to help you get off right now?”
He huffed out a small breath, “Is that what you want, doll. To help me?”
You hummed, crumbling and failing to come up with any words at the mention of the nickname he’d attached to you.
“I can dig into my memories, you know. There’s so much about you I remember,” Again, you couldn’t see him but you could sense the smirk right through the microphone, “I know you kept your screen off but the sounds you made were enough to have me touching myself every second of everyday for days on end.”
The sensation of your walls clenching around nothing was taunting and the stream flowing right through the fabric of your panties just piled up on the mountain of frustration. You were miles away from the peak as you trotted up slowly but your thoughts remained on him.
“It’s like an audio file on loop. Your whimpers, and moans and the soft utters of my name. Fuck. The mixture became an ideal composition to the perfect ballad,” he confessed through a string of soft pants, “and then the way you pushed your fingers past your lips just to savor the taste of yourself. You really drove me to insanity.”
Your body felt as light as a feather and you could’ve sworn you were levitating right above your mattress you just couldn’t open your eyes to prove it. Instead, your tanktop was pushed below your breasts and your finger began its trail on your clit rubbing slow circles.
“JK, ima need you to shut the fuck up right now,” you were breathless with a hint of desperation. Ready to lose yourself in his voice, but you couldn’t, “shut up—“ you repeated, “this is not how it’s supposed to go today.”
“You say that,” he cooed, “but how come I can tell you’ve already begun to touch yourself?”
You pulled your hand from yourself, repelling away from the gravitational pull forcing you to reach back down between the warmth of your thighs. “You don’t know that and I was not touching myself.”
“You were and I’m 100-percent sure of it.”
“You’re so annoying.”
“Don’t worry, doll. You’ve done more than enough to get me where I need to be,” he hissed.
Realistically speaking this was the goal—Your goal for the day. But the reality of Jungkook’s whine sounding near the shell of your ear made you imagine things that weren’t even there for the third time in the past few weeks.
And there he was, beside you once again, with his cock springing out from above the hem of his shorts. It was longer; bigger than you’d imagined but he made use of his veiny hands moving up and down his length with a hastened pace. Quickly working his way right into an orgasm.
“Tell me how it feels, JK,” you rubbed your legs together in search of some ease — perhaps to ignore the pain or the desirous sting threading dangerously near to overwhelmingness but it wasn’t helping. You reach out for one of the decorative cushions sitting on your bed and quickly rid yourself of your panties hiking your skirt up past your belly button. You weren’t quite sure what came over you but looking over at ‘JK’ laying beside you began swaying your hips against the cotton cushion to match his exact pace.
“Fuck—“ you squealed.
“Oh, doll,” he let out a rasp groan, “t-that’s exactly what I needed. Keep going please. I’m so close.”
Minutes went by since the two of you began exchanging the alluring songs escaping each of your lips. It was an orchestra of pleasure and you kept at it until your whines combined with his grunts signaled the peak of your actions.
“Oh fuck,” he breathed out, “I’ve never done that before.”
“What?”
“This has never happened during one of my sessions.”
You smiled, “I’m glad I could be of assistance.”
“Visit me more often,” he said, “I mean it. Don’t wait another two weeks.”
“I’ll be back. Don’t worry Jung—JK,” you cleared your throat as an attempt to mask your almost massive fuck up. Hopefully he didn’t hear.
“I’ll be here.”
“Bye.”
The call was disconnected. Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Not again.
Hours passed since your very interesting morning with Jungkook or should you say JK. It was closer to late night and you sat on a bench just outside the library with the luminous ray of the moon singling you out like a spotlight. You were tired and just like the moon sat without any stars surrounding it to keep it company you chose to be here, alone; secluded just for a little while. You needed it.
The night hadn’t begun this way. Not at all.
Your friend had texted you hours prior letting you know that a couple of people from research class had noticed a mini research project due for that Monday. And like any other group of panicked college students you all grabbed your shit and ran to the library to get the work done. Back then, you didn’t know that by ‘a few people from research class’ she also meant Jungkook.
While you could feel a kaleidoscope of butterflies flapping their wings against the lining of your stomach, there were also those pressing nerves. You know, the ones that make your hands tremble, your tongue feel heavy inside of your mouth and your palms balmy all together.
It was a variation of your own personal heaven and hell.
“May I know why you’re out here sitting all by yourself,” there weren’t winds strong enough to make you shiver the way his voice had just now.
Would he recognize your voice from this morning? Maybe he would. You pressed your hands against the wooden bench and took a deep breath.
It’s gonna be okay. You chanted. It’s going to be okay.
“Oh, I’m done with the project and I just needed a bit of fresh air,” you waved your hands around in an attempt to point at the library but you ended up pointing in the opposite direction, “it was just too hot in there.”
“Yeah. .” He slouched down and placed his head on the back rest, “I needed out too.”
“Did you get to finish?”
“I did,” he laughed, “I chose the effects of tattoos in the workplace.”
“Ha—“ you guffawed, shaking your head, “I’m sure you meant to make a statement.”
“Of course, doll.” There it was again. The effects it had on you were so grand meanwhile he just brushed right past it like absolutely nothing.
“How many tattoos do you have anyway?”
He rolled his sleeve up revealing his arm all the way up to his bicep, “I lost count after filing in the gaps for my sleeve but I’ll confidently say I’m well over thirty.”
“You must have all of the secrets to pain tolerance,” you stared at the art pieces adoring his honey skin.
“I would say I have it more under control now than I ever did before,” his head turned towards you and his dark eyes pierced your soul, “I almost cried during my first one though. Hurt so fucking bad I had to keep taking breaks.”
“Which one was it?”
He brought his arm up and showed you the flower sitting right on his right elbow.
“Can I?” That was your way of asking if it was okay for you to touch it without having to actually say it.
“Yeah.”
Your fingertips traced the small orange flower along with its surroundings which sprawled out into a larger floral design. Sparks of electric currents traveled from your fingers as they remained in contact with his skin. You couldn’t help but wonder if he felt it too but you were too afraid to ask.
“Did you get it shaded and colored in one go?”
“I couldn’t,” he shuddered, likely remembering that very day at the tattoo shop, “hurts just thinking about it.”
“But then you went and got a whole sleeve?”
“I guess I’m still fond of a bit of pain.”
“That’s psychotic.”
“Maybe,” he closed his eyes lightly, as a cheeky wide-toothed grin formed on his lips. That was the last of your interaction for a bit, the two of you just sat back in silence enjoying the serenity of the night. But of course, silence seemed to be a burden on Jungkook’s behalf because it didn’t really last too long. “Hey, you wanna go get ice cream? I hear the shop just off campus is open late.”
“Is this the kick start to your summer itinerary for me?”
“Could be. . if you want it to.”
“Sure. Let’s go.”
With a stunned expression your friend watched as Jungkook followed behind you, into the library to collect your belongings only to see you exit with him once more. Even though the windows you saw as her mouth remained agape as you disappeared into the night with the man that occupied so much of your heart and mind.
Seconds after you felt your phone vibrate continuously in your back pocket. Knowing it was probably just her with an abundance of prying questions you ignored it for now instead choosing to focus on the paved road ahead you. There are so many beautiful things to admire at this time of night — the way the bright green leaves sway with the cool breeze on the branches they’d call home for the duration of the summer, there was also the way the brightness of the street light illuminated the way to your destination. There were no lone frigid gusts whispering their way through the city, instead there was the buzzing chatter of on-goers bringing the streets back to life.
Jungkook and you occupied the sidewalk taking in every scene, every conversation, every person, every detail in your way and just as you neared the little ice cream shop you saw the way his doe eyes lit up at the vibrant shade of pink on the concrete walls.
“What should I get you?” You sat on one of the small tables lined up on the sidewalks just a few feet away from the shop.
“Chocolate please,” you pulled out your wallet just as he placed his hand on top of yours and shook his head.
“I invited you, didn't I?”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course.”
Across from you at another small table you spotted a couple seemingly on their first day. You could tell because the girl as beautiful as she was, she wore the same gitters you did. The way her fingers trembled whenever the boy across from her inched his hand closer to hers.
She wore the exact same gitters you did but you were not here on a date. You were merely an acquaintance. Someone Jungkook knew in passing — likely to become someone he once knew once this charade of wanting to show you around for the summer was over.
“Are you always this deep in your own thoughts?” Jungkook sat across from you on the table and handed you the wafer cone with two chocolate scoops.
“Not always. .” you took a swift lick of your ice cream, “sometimes is probably a bit more accurate though.”
“May I ask why that is?”
“There are too many things dancing around in my head to figure out the steps to,” you began playing around with the edge of the napkins laid out on the table.
“Do any of those pressing thoughts have to do with your shit taste in ice cream flavors?” The dimples on his rosey cheeks were scaled to your meter of comfort and you couldn’t help but reciprocate his cheerful manner.
“Shit?” you sneered, “if we’re talking shit, strawberry is definitely first on the list.”
“Strawberry ice cream tastes like actual strawberries. Now please tell me what chocolate ice cream tastes ‘cause it is certainly not chocolate.”
“Bullshit. It does taste like chocolate.”
“Now, that's bullshit,” he continued, savoring his frozen dessert. “Will you ever tell me why you despise the summertime so much?”
“I do not despise it. I just—“ you sighed, “there are just experiences that simply do not wash away with the currents of the beach waves.”
“That’s awfully poetic.”
“I like to dramatize my life experiences.”
“I won’t make you elaborate. I will, however, smother you with my favorite activities until you have no choice but to fall in love with the season,” he strapped his backpack on and called over to you, “you ready?”
Whoever said spinning around on the roundabout after devouring an entire cone of ice cream was a good idea — was wrong. Of course, Jungkook’s ideas of the perfect summer night were made up of late night escapees, sweets and indigestion.
Jungkook, the culprit in this entire scheme plopped down on the multi-colored metal surface, clearly out of breath after having spun you so fast the heavens were now where the ground once used to be.
“You are the worst,” you laid down on the roundabout, eyes closed, swallowing down the nausea creeping up the back of your throat, “if I puke. . It is entirely on you.”
“Last I recall, you’re the one who wanted to be spun around on this thing.”
“Yes.” You continued taking deep breaths, “keyword spin not attempt to blast me off into the Milky Way.”
“You are such a drama queen.”
“There is nothing dramatic about the way my head is spinning right now,” you felt his shower brush against yours — he was now laying beside you. You opened your eyes slightly, turning your head in his direction, “are there now three of you?”
“Here,” he raised a hand to your face, “how many fingers am I holding up?”
“Two?” you lied. He had all five fingers up.
“I know you see my whole hand is sitting right in front of your face right now,” he rolled his eyes.
“Actually, I don’t. That’s why I said two,” you stuck your tongue out at him before redirecting your attention back to the sky. “Do you think the moon ever gets lonely up there?”
Jungkook followed your line of vision to the sky above where the moon still sat all by itself, “I’ve never actually thought about it but I think everything and everyone can feel lonely once in a while.”
“I think I’m like the moon.”
His voice was soft, “in what way?”
“I guess—“ you battled with all the words crashing against each other in your brain, “in the sense that compared to Earth and most planets, the moon is so small right?”
“Yes.”
“I just feel like that. You know? Like a single grain of sand in a sandbox — feels like I’m an ant in a world of giants.”
“While it is true that the moon is fairly small in comparison to most of the planets in our solar system,” he began. “It is also a beacon of light. Without the moon our nights would be composed of utter darkness, the ocean tides would fall and the course of the life we know would be altered. Without the moon our lives would be shit.”
“Right.”
“Small yet consequential. You get that?”
“I do.”
You told no fib. His words were a warm blanket of solace wrapping itself tightly around your figure — serving as a shield, protecting you from anything that could perforate through your being; your soul.
Your parents had always been the main assailants in the attacks you had experienced throughout your life. After your brother walked away from home they pushed you aside, neglected you and left you to raise yourself. They were never there for birthdays or the holidays or summer vacations or even just regular days. You were a thirteen year old girl alone not being able to decipher why all of their grief from your brother’ abandonment came at the expense of the love they claimed to have had for you.
All your life you tried to work out if you’d done anything wrong but you finally see that it wasn’t you. Their neglect was based on their inability to be parents before anything else.
So yes, you were like the moon. Small yet consequential.
Jungkook’s pinky brushed up against yours slightly as he traced random shapes on your skin; sort of like asking permission before actually holding your hand. You looked at each other and before you knew it he wrapped his hand to yours. The warmth radiating from him was soothing and like nothing you’ve ever felt before. If you were sure of one thing — it’s you never wanted him to let go.
You just wanted to stay there with him in that moment forever.
“Jungkook, you better shake off all that sand out here or you are forbidden from entering my room,” you threatened, which only resulted in a mischievous grin from the man and the sand to go flying in your direction as he purposely tried to get it on you.
“Is that all better?”
You snorted, brushing off any of the remaining sand he did get in you, “you are so mean.”
A week of summer adventures had graced your life for the better — Jungkook had burdened himself with the mission to get you to enjoy the wonders of the scorching summer months and he was succeeding. You have enjoyed all of it thus far. Even having the ocean sand in places where the sun doesn’t shine.
The schedule doesn’t cease and while your platonic relationship with Jungkook blossomed though you couldn’t completely shut out the feelings that sent your heart into a frenzy whenever he was near. You like him so bad, but your friendship with him was like a gem, a rare gem and you wouldn’t trade that for anything on this entire planet.
“You know what’s weird?” Jungkook walked out from the bathroom just as you finished getting dressed. One towel hugged his waist, while the other he used to dry his hair.
“Jungkook?” you yelped, “clothes.”
“Oh, come on, you saw all of this at the beach,” he pointed at his sculpted physique. You did and you were almost sent into cardiac arrest then — what makes him think you’d be any better off within the congested walls of your room. He was feet away near the bathroom door but it felt like he was just beside you.
“Whatever. .” you turned around trying to keep yourself busy with something else, something that did not involve gawking at him. “This wall—“ he noticed you weren’t looking, “this wall right above your bed it looks so fucking familiar.”
“Jungkook, you’ve been in here about a dozen times in the past week,” your body stiffened as you felt a nauseating flutter in your stomach.
“You’re right . .” your back was still turned towards him but you could hear the floorboards creak as he inched closer, “but that right there only confirms it. There’s also your voice, that birthmark sitting right below your bottom lip and not to mention your nail polish you always keep the exact same shade.”
“Jungkook—“
“Not very clever I’d say,” his chin rested on the nook of your neck, “especially we ended on becoming this close.”
You wanted to say something — anything but you couldn’t actually speak.
“After our first time on Eargasm together,” he whispered into your ear, “do you know how much I thought of you? Your voice was the only thing that has played in my head since then. I wanted. . needed to meet you. The girl behind the black screen.”
“How long have you known?”
“Since the day you went to get your card fixed at the student center,” he continued, “your voice is soft, euphonic, harmonious, even when you’re cumming. It’s easy to distinguish.”
You shuddered as a result of his dulcet praise, “I’m so transparent but your tattoos ratted you out especially the snake sitting right below your wrist.”
“Problem is I wasn’t trying to hide, doll.”
“You didn’t care?”
“I didn’t care.”
Turning around the two of you remained face to face examining even the tiniest of details within one another. The pale red tint on the apple of his cheeks matched the tone of his lips almost perfectly.
His lips . . they were so inviting. You were sluggishly levitating towards him before his words slammed at your brakes.
“I think we should get going,” Jungkook said standing by the door holding his keys out to you. Was he kicking you out of your own dorm? “You wanna wait for me in the car? I’ll be right down.”
“Uh—“ you were a bit taken back with disappointment and just a bit of confusion. Was he really oblivious to it? “Yeah, that sounds fine. Don’t be long.”
A million thoughts scrambled your brain on the passenger seat of Jungkook’s car as your eyes drifted off toward the sun disappearing into the horizon. Love was never your forte but if you were sure of one thing it’s that what you felt although unspoken was evident; crystal clear more so. So you replayed what had happened in your room time and time again to decipher when it all had gone to shit. Perhaps, he was in fact still angry about you knowing it was him all along. . But you’d apologized when joined you in the car and he reassured you that it was fine and he wasn’t mad.
Looking back towards the driver seat, Jungkook remained with one hand on the wheel and his eyes glued to the road ahead. Not a word escaped his lips. Why is it so difficult to figure out what men are thinking?
Once you arrived at the drive-in movie theater, Jungkook parked and quickly dismissed himself to buy snacks while you tried to find the station provided to be able to hear the movie and finally you did.
“Okay,” Jungkook opened the car door, taking his previous seat back on the driver’s side, “I got popcorn, cherry slushies and a bunch of gummies. I just guessed on everything hoping it wasn’t a complete miss.”
“Of course I like these. Thank you, Jungkook.” You’d like anything he brought back for you simply because it came from him, “You know, I thought this style of movie watching ceased to exist after the 90s.”
“Yeah, I guess there was a decline in popularity after the 90s. Now, in some places it is once again sought out as a popular summer activity.”
“That is evident,” you looked around at the packed lot out in front of you. You guys scored the very last spot in the very last row, “Do you come here often?” Only you knew the real undertones of that question. ‘Do you bring other girls here often?’ This is what you actually meant.
“Not often,” he took a sip of his slushie
“Not often,” you repeated under your breath with a residue of bitterness left in your tastebuds. You weren’t sure if your drinking had grown pungent or if his words simply landed a punch in your gut triggering your acid reflux.
Patience, patience and endurance. You’d neared your limit for both while your heart continued its call for Jungkook but he simply could not hear. Was he really oblivious to it? You wondered once again. Was the wailing just white noise to him . . Non-existent? Could he not hear it as loudly as you could? Because to you it was all you could hear, the only thing you could pay mind to. To you the movie was long gone and all you wanted was for him to notice you. Not simply as friends, but to embrace what you knew he briefly felt for you back at the dorm. To actually see you.
“Are you okay?” his hand slowly moved to shove some more popcorn into his mouth. His words were slack, almost as if he’d been put to function in slow motion, “do you not like the movie?”
You couldn’t care less about the fucking movie. “The movie is fine.”
“Are you sure?” Was that concern in his voice? “I can get you something else from the snack bar,“ he reached for the handle, “let ne get you a water.“
“No,“ you held his wrist, “just stay please.”
“The snack bar is less than ten steps away. Are you sure you don’t want it?”
“I don’t want you to go.” You weren’t sure you were being clear so you tried your best to elaborate, “I know technically left my own room earlier but I didn’t want to and now I do not want you to go.”
You heaved feeling the pace of your quickening heart beating your chest. Then mumbled, “I left only because you asked me to but I wanted to stay with you.”
His eyebrows were furrowed as he tried to unscramble your inept confession. Soon his chocolate eyes dilated realizing the weight of your words.
“Like?” He asked, allowing his silence to fill in the gaps.
“Yes,” you confessed. “I wanted to stay in my room with you and spend the night together.”
“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. Truthfully, I wanted you to stay but I didn’t want to overstep after we talked about the Eargasm thing,” He turned his head away from his hands gripping the steering wheel towards you in the passenger seat.
“I like you. I’ve liked you before Eargasm Jungkook,” you could’ve sworn the sky began plummeting down on you while you just sat amongst the deafening silence, with your heart poured out before you — and still Jungkook said nothing, “Uh, you know what forget I ever. .” you paused taking another look in his direction but Jungkook simply hid behind wide eyes, “actually, no. Scratch that. I like you but I’ll be okay.”
“You are much braver than me, you know,” he spoke quietly, “a lot of my life I’ve lived hidden behind JK and though he is my other half he is not truly who I am. He is much more courageous than I’ll ever be but you were brave so I know I owe you a reciprocation of the same transparency. I’ve liked you from the moment I walked into class that very first day and I’ve only fallen for you harder with each passing day.”
“Jungkook.”
He hummed.
“Kiss me.”
In the matter of seconds the two of you climbed over to the back seat — the clashing of your body heat drew sweat beads to cascade down your temples. Your attention was far off that though, instead you were lulled by the softness of his silken lips pressed against yours. You could feel the thud of your combined heartbeat in the way your bodies were pressed so tightly against each other. His palm resided by your waist as he continued tugging at your top.
He pulled away, keeping his forehead pressed against yours, “are you sure you want to do this here?”
You looked around feeling locked in by the tint of Jungkook’s car windows, “I’m sure.”
Before your back could meet his leather seat, Jungkook began pulling your panties down and pushing your denim skirt up past your belly button. Jungkook was always gentle whether it was with his words or his touch, that was the truth, and today was no different.
“God, you’re so beautiful,” Jungkook’s usual dove eyes were now burning with hunger — desire. His hands rested on your knees and he began spreading your legs farther and farther away from each other causing your underwear to become soaked. You hadn’t really noticed how spacious the back of his car was until now, until he kneeled in front of you. His fingers traced the outline of your thighs as he reached under your skirt quickly pulling your panties down to your ankles.
You closed your eyes, melting back into the seat. The feeling came in waves you quickly realized. First, there was the anticipation as your body urged him to touch your body but he only allowed his digits to cloud over your cunt. Then, there was the taunting of his teasing touch where he would drag the pads of his fingers along your folds — a touch so agonizing you found yourself driving your hips against him for some relief.
“Come on, doll,” Jungkook cooed as two of his fingers sat at your entrance with no intention of moving, “I thought you were more patient than this.”
“I’ll be good,” you heaved, “I promise.”
“Promise?” He pushed past the muscle of your entrance quickly invading your insides and in that moment you could’ve sworn you were no longer in his car — instead you lived amongst the celestial body of lumineers lighting the night sky. Words poured out of you in the form of profanities featured by the moans you couldn’t seem to suppress the quicker he pumped in and out of you.
That was it. That feeling. You held on as if your life depended on it. There was nothing, nothing else that could claim your attention the way Jungkook was at that very moment.
“Oh, right there,” your nails dug into his shoulder blades as he reached the very spot in your insides which blurred your vision and caused your legs to shake just a bit, “j-just keep going right there.”
His lips quickly landed on yours for a kiss so torrid you could taste the remnants of his cherry chapstick on your tongue. Enveloped by the overstimulation of the kiss and his fingers inside of you, the remaining piece of string which held you together snapped and behind your eyelids all you saw were spots of flashing white lights.
“Jungkook. .” You waited just a moment to catch your breath before patting the seat right beside you, “come sit with me. Unwind.”
“It’s hard to think of anything else when you’re sitting right beside me looking like that,” he hummed, “ all fucked out when I’ve only fingered you.”
“Just. . trust me,” As soon as he sat you placed your hand on his chest climbing onto his lap placing your legs on either side of his, “will you do that?”
“I trust you.”
Even the mess Jungkook had already created in between your thighs you felt that concupiscent armor burning deep inside of you — it was like a wildfire you couldn’t extinguish. Jungkook’s hands landed on your waist, his grip was sweaty against your skin, he began you forward and backward on his lap. And you began reciprocating that movement at a rhythm equivalent to his.
The temperature continued to rise within the enclosure of his car and a mixture of his rough grunts and your pleased hums began to fill the space. His clothed cock and your bare clit continued to meet in the filthiest of ways yet you couldn't resist but cry out for more. You craved more.
“I-I need you, Jungkook,” you whimpered.
If you thought you’d known pleasure before there was nothing compared to the way Jungkook’s massive cock felt inside your walls. It’s as if his dick was personally crafted to slip into you. God, he wasn’t moving a single muscle — you weren’t either and still you couldn’t help the countless moans dripping right off your lips.
“Are you okay?” he asked, “can I move?”
“Please,” you cried out.
In being the embodiment of sin, Jungkook embraced his mercilessness as a result of your yelp when his cock rammed into you with a drawn out yet deep thrust. As he slipped in and out if you saw the way he almost pulled out entirely only to guide you back down harshly on his length. Over and over and over. Your head lulled back and you were sure your rolled eyes could recite the contents of the inside of your skull.
“D-don’t stop,” you choked out, placing a hand on the hood for support as Jungkook continued to have you at his mercy, “I’m so close.”
You couldn’t really see in the midst of the pleasure coursing through you but you could feel the way his warm lips landed kisses around your breasts while his hands caressed your sides.
“P-please don’t stop,” the car began moving along with his pace and you were sure the others around you were now aware of the events unfolding right beside them. But you didn’t fucking care. Jungkook’s hand reached down in between your thighs near the exact point where his length disappeared inside of you, and he began stimulating your clit — drawing out small circles. You were shaking with pleasure spilling a string of curses. This continued until you finally reached your peak through screams of his name and your juices coating his cock while he poured into you.
“Fuck,” you cried out sweetly as he pulled out, “that was amazing.”
“It was better than amazing.”
You laid your back against him as he wrapped you up in his warm embrace. The two of you were warm and sweaty, “so what’s on the itinerary for tomorrow?” You asked.
“We’ll go anywhere you wanna go. Together.”
“Together,” you smiled.
-
-
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a/n: this is mildly edited sooo . . . thread lightly for any mistakes lol. Also, the smut is pretty average but my brain wasn’t working so sorry about that in advance <3
🔖: @shaybtsfoever @bjoriis @sharkipoonis @hoseokteardrop @ravensidea @skzthinker @cherryluvhobi
reblogs, likes, comments, replies are always appreciated.
#bts#bts smut#bts reactions#bts imagines#jungkook smut#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x y/n#jungkook imagine#jungkook drabble#brief mention of tae namjoon and mr. kim aka kim seokjin#bts jungkook smut
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Sid Vicious’s Letters to Deborah Spungen following the death of Nancy Spungen (his girlfriend).
(TW MENTIONS OF SUICIDE)
(FIRST LETTER)
Dear Debbie, thank you for phoning me the other night. It was so comforting to hear your voice. You are the only person who really understands how much Nancy and I love each other. Every day without Nancy gets worse and worse. I just hope that when I die I go the same place as her. Otherwise I will never find peace.
Frank said in the paper that Nancy was born in pain and lived in pain all her life. When I first met her, and for about six months after that, I spent practically the whole time in tears. Her pain was just too much to bear. Because, you see, I felt Nancy’s pain as though it were my own, worse even. But she said that I must be strong for her or otherwise she would have to leave me. So I became strong for her, and she began to stop having asthma attacks and seemed to be going through a lot less pain.
I realized that she had never known love and was desperately searching for someone to love her. It was the only thing she really needed. I gave her the love that she needed so badly and it comforts me to know that I made her very happy during the time we were together, where she had only known unhappiness before.
Oh Debbie, I love her with such passion. Every day is agony without her. I know now that it is possible to die from a broken heart. Because when you love someone as much as we love each other, they become fundamental to your existence. So I will die soon, even if I don’t kill myself. I guess you could say that I’m pining for her. I could live without food or water longer than I’m going to survive with out Nancy.
Thank you so much for understanding us, Debbie. It means so much to me, and I know it meant alot to Nancy. She really loves you, and so do I. How did she know when she was going to die? I always prayed that she was wrong, but deep inside I knew she was right.
Nancy was a very special person, too beautiful for this world. I feel so privileged to have loved her, and been loved by her. Oh Debbie, it was such a beautiful love. I can’t go on without it. When we first met, we knew we were made for each other, and fell in love with each other immediately. We were totally inseparable and were never apart. We had certain telepathic abilities, too. I remember about nine months after we met, I left Nancy for awhile. After a couple of weeks of being apart, I had a strange feeling that Nancy was dying. I went straight to the place she was staying and when I saw her, I knew it was true. I took her home with me and nursed her back to health, but I knew that if I hadn’t bothered she would have died.
Nancy was just a poor baby, desperate for love. It made me so happy to give her love, and believe me, no man ever loved a woman with such burning passion as I love Nancy. I never even looked at others. No one was as beautiful as my Nancy. Enclosed is a poem I wrote for her. It kind of sums up how much I love her.
If possible, I would love to see you before I die. You are the only one who understood.
Love, Sid XXX
P.S. Thank you, Debbie, for understanding that I have to die. Everyone else just thinks I am being weak. All I can say is that they never loved anyone as passionately as I love Nancy. I always felt unworthy to be loved by someone so beautiful as her. Everything we did was beautiful. At the climax of our lovemaking, I just used to break down and cry. It was so beautiful it was almost unbearable. It makes me mad when people say “you must have really loved her.” So they think I don’t still love her? At least when I die, we will be together.I feel like a lost child, so alone.
The nights are the worst. I used to hold Nancy close to me all night so that she wouldn’t have nightmares and I just can’t sleep without my beautiful baby in my arms. So warm and gentle and vulnerable. No one should expect me to live without her. She was a part of me. My heart.
Debbie, please come and see me. You are the only person who knows what I am going through. If you don’t want to, could you please phone me again, and write.
I love you.
NANCY
You were my little baby girl
And I shared all your fears.
Such joy to hold you in my arms
And kiss away your tears.
But now you’re gone there’s only pain
And nothing I can do.
And I don’t want to live this life
If I can’t live for you.
To my beautiful baby girl.
Our love will never die.
(SECOND LETTER)
Dear Debbie, I’m dying. Slowly, and in great pain. My baby is gone, without her I have no will to live. I love her so desperately. I know I can never make it without her. Nancy became my whole life. She was the only thing that mattered to me.
I’m glad I could make her happy. I gave her everything she ever wanted, just for the asking. When we only had enough money for one of us to get straight, I always gave it to Nancy. It was less painful to be sick myself than it was to see her sick.
When you love someone that much you cannot lose them and still be able to go on. I know that if I lived to be a thousand years old I would never find anyone like Nancy. No one can ever take her place. I love Nancy and Nancy only. I will always love her. Even after I am dead.
I have only eaten a few mouthfuls of food since she died. I may die of starvation in this place. I just hope it comes soon, so that I can be with Nancy again.
We always knew that we would go to the same place when we died. We so much wanted to die together in each other’s arms. I cry every time I think about that. I promised my baby that I would kill myself if anything ever happened to her, and she promised me the same. This is my final commitment to the one I love.
I worshipped Nancy. It was far more than just love. To me she was a goddess. She used to make me kiss her feet before we made love. No one ever loved the way we did, and to spend even a day away from her, let alone a whole lifetime, is too painful to even think about. Oh Debbie, I never knew what pain was until this happened. Nancy was my whole life. I lived for her. Now I must die for her.
It gave me such pleasure to give her anything she wanted. She was just like a child. She used to call me “daddy” when she was upset, and I used to call her “mamma” and she used to nurse me at her breast and call me her “baby boy”.
I tried to kill myself but they got me to hospital before I died. Nancy knows that I will soon be with her. Please pray that we will be together. I can never find peace until we are together again.
Oh Debbie, she was the most beautiful person I ever knew. I would have done anything for her.
Nancy once asked if I would pour petrol over myself and set it on fire if she told me to. I said I would, and I meant it. If you would happily die for someone, then how can you live without them. I can’t go on without her. She always said she would die before she was twenty-one, and I never doubted it.
Goodbye, Debbie. I love you.
Sid XXX
#70s#nancy spungen#punk#punk couple#sid and nancy#sid vicious#tw death#sadnees#sad poem#sad post#sad poetry#books and reading#true crume#mystery#punk rock#1970s#music#toxic love#toxic romance#toxic relationship#made me cry
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Maybe a little something where frank introduces you to Curtis and David and both you and David are in shock and angry as you're close cousins?
"Cousin? What the fuck are you doing?"
"Cousin what the fuck are you doing with frank?"
"What the fuck are YOU doing with frank?"
"I'm his friend?"
"I'm his girlfriend?"
Etc and frank didn't know
THE WORLD OF YOU AND I ➵ F. CASTLE
Summary: Frank introduces you to his best friends, and it turns out, one of them is your cousin.
Warnings: Language, feminine nicknames, fluff
Word count: 1.5k
Author’s note: Anon, this is such a good idea and writing this was soooo much fun!! I am truly sorry it took me so long to get to it, thank you for being patient with me <3 Hope you like it!
You knew your relationship had reached a whole new level when Frank suggested introducing you to his two best friends. It was a big step and you felt a rush of excitement as well as anxiety in your gut at the thought, but you would have never said no — it was important to him, it was obvious in the doe look in his eyes when he brought it up, and you were happy to learn more about him. Surely, by getting acquainted with his dearest friends, you would gain entirely new insight into what kind of man he was.
He had kept you shielded, his own little secret. Well, not exactly, because Curtis and David knew he had fallen in love with someone, but he had been extremely tight-lipped with the details. He hadn’t given them a name, no recognizable features, nothing. Up until now, he had enjoyed the privacy you two had, and maybe partly he had done so because he wasn’t sure you’d stick around. He was a complicated man, but you seemed to care for him, regardless. So, when things began to seem serious between the two of you, he figured the next logical step was bring you to daylight and allow the few people he really trusted to meet you.
On the day of, you were a nervous wreck. You were walking down the street with Frank holding your hand, and he felt the distressed squeezes you were giving him, and noticed your teeth gnawing on your bottom lip. It felt like a high-stake evening, because these two men were part of Frank’s inner circle, and you wanted them to accept you into it. And you certainly didn’t want Frank to regret bringing you along.
”Hey, look at me, darlin’”, Frank rasped when you reached the bar you had agreed to meet in, stopping you at the entrance. Sighing heavily, you met his gaze with a frown, and he smiled softly at the nervousness visible on your face. He brushed his thumb across your cheek, his touch tender and careful. ”They gon’ love you, I promise. You got nothin’ to worry ’bout, swear”, he insisted, trying his very best to convince you.
You wanted to believe him, but he had been secretive about his friends just like he had been about you. You had been unable to prepare for the upcoming night in any way because you didn’t know a single thing about who you would find inside, but Frank still seemed certain that you’d charm them.
”Sweetheart”, he spoke firmly to regain your attention, and hesitantly, you looked at him. ”I mean it. I got no doubt in my mind that everythin’ will be fine. This ain’t an interview, they just wanna know who I’ve been spendin’ all my time with”, he went on, his tone reassuring and warm, and it did settle your nerves a little. He was right, and in the end, his opinion was the one that mattered to you the most. He loved you, and surely that would be enough for his friends.
”Okay. Let’s do this”, you decided, and with an attagirl, Frank slung his arm over your shoulders before walking inside with you.
He scanned the room until he spotted his friends, but you failed to follow his stare so you didn’t know which of the people in the bar he was leading you to. Not until you were actually faced with them — a tall, black man with a wide grin on his face, and…
”David?” you blurted out in complete shock, your eyes widening and your stomach dropping. ”What—what are you doing here?” you continued, a nervous chuckle escaping your mouth as your eyes darted between Frank and David, both looking equally confused.
”Cousin? What are you doing here?” he emphasized, questioning your presence with knitted eyebrows. You were at a loss for words, and the tension in the air got to Frank, making him huff as he nodded towards you.
”This is my girl, Lieberman. What the fuck is goin’ on?” Frank cut in, already irritated by David’s tone towards you.
”She’s your—”, David began, turning back to you with a finger pointed at you, ”you’re Frank’s girlfriend?”
Nodding, you stared back at him. ”Yes, I’m his girlfriend”, you confirmed like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and in response, David brought both his hands up to his head like his world was falling apart.
”I’m his friend!” he exclaimed, his loud voice attracting attention, but you were too caught up in the moment to notice. ”You’re dating my cousin?” he directed an accusatory glare at the man next to you, and with a bewildered expression, Frank faced you.
”You’re Lieberman’s cousin?” he asked with genuine surprise, and when you nodded once again, he turned back to David. ”Well, how the fuck was I s’posed to know? You don’t got the same last name, you’ve never even mentioned her—”, Frank started defending himself as well as you, but you quickly interrupted him.
”You never mentioned me? What the fuck, cousin?” you scoffed, and rolling his eyes, David took a much-needed swig of his beer before responding.
”Apparently, you didn’t mention me, either”, he argued back, making you grimace as you realized that was true. You and David were relatively close, but only as close as cousins could be — not nearly enough to warrant telling his life story to Frank. And evidently, not close enough to talk about your dating life with him.
”I’m Curtis”, the other man in the group finally piped up, and you felt heat crawl to your face as you remembered you hadn’t even introduced yourself to him. What a way to make a first impression.
”Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. Hi, it’s so nice to meet you”, you rambled while sticking out your hand to him, and smiling in a way that was both polite and amused, Curtis took it and gave it a firm shake.
”Hey, no worries. This must be a hell of a surprise. I guess this could have been avoided if Frank wasn’t so protective”, he pointed out, earning a chuckle from your boyfriend who still held you close to him.
”Nah, this ain’t on me. Had to make sure she wasn’t goin’ anywhere before introducin’ her to you two assholes. Y’all woulda scared her off, anyway”, Frank noted before flashing a grin. ”If I’d known she’s been dealin’ with Lieberman’s bullshit this whole time, I wouldn’t have been so worried”, he reminded, making you snicker.
You took in a deep breath and tried to cool off. ”Alright, well, it’s out now. David and I already know each other but I’m eager to hear all about Curtis. Why don’t we just get a drink and start over?” you proposed, earning agreeing nods — although David seemed a little unhappy with the situation.
”That’s my smart girl. Always resolvin’ shit”, Frank praised you before leaning in to kiss you, his lips locking with yours in a brief but sweet collision. It made you all giddy and relieved the tension in your shoulders, but when you let go, you noticed David pouting by his bottle.
”Alright, Curtis, wanna come get the next round with me?” you suggested, figuring that Frank and David needed to talk it out, and Curtis noticed the same. He was on board immediately, and while asking him about how he had met Frank, you walked over to the bar with him, excited to get to know him.
Once left alone, Frank stepped towards David, folding his hands in front of him while quietly assessing the situation. He wasn’t given the chance to plot an approach, though, when David was already berating him.
”My fuckin’ cousin, man? Are you serious?” he cried out, dramatic as always. Licking his lips, Frank nodded with the desire to be understanding, though at the same time, he wasn’t going to let go of you no matter what David would say.
”Hey, I told you I didn’t know. I woulda talked to you ’bout it if I had any idea”, Frank swore with a serious look. ”I know it’s a weird fuckin’ surprise, but I really care about her, Lieberman. She’s my girl. I ain’t gonna turn my back on her because of this”, he went on, devotion obvious in every word.
Exhaling heavily, David gave in. ”Yeah, I know. I wouldn’t want you to. In fact, if you break her heart, I’ll have no choice but to fuck you up, Frank”, he clarified, dead-serious.
Frank couldn’t help but smirk, entertained by the attempt of a threat. Still, he was willing to agree to his terms. ”Yeah, sure. But I’m tellin’ you, I’m not just fuckin’ around. I, uh, I love her. With all that I got”, he promised, earning an impressed smile from David.
”Good. I’ll hold you to that.”
It wasn’t going to be the last time David tried to protect you by intimidating Frank, and it wasn’t going to be the last time Frank swore that he wouldn’t let you down, and you supposed that was as good as it would get.
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I’ll never smile again - Frank Sinatra
a little angst, reader is a neurosurgeon, neutral pronouns, ""friendship"", geto’s death is mentionned, cuss words, mention of death, mention of medical treatment, mention of graveyard
gojo satoru x reader
"time of death 10:34pm"
the monitor beeps. The noise is continuous and getting heavier and heavier to bear. You put down your scalpel, raise your hands and step away from the body. You look around, at a few people in the observatory, friends and journalists who’ve come to watch the first surgery about your experiment on a certain type of tumor, a new surgical approach to removing that tumor. A rather invasive approach indeed, but one that worked in clinical trials.
The intern begins to close the patient's skull. Drops of sweat begin to drip from your forehead, your vision starts to deteriorate more and more, you've got to get out of there. "I killed him, I killed him" goes round and round in your head. You smile slightly at the journalists in the observatory, including your best friend, your friends and Gojo. "I'm sorry, I have to go" you inform the other surgeons and doctors in the OR.
You leave the room quickly. Your best friend has seen the distress in your eyes, she knows you, she knows what you're like. "That's not a good sign" she murmurs before rubbing her face with both hands. Gojo looks at your best friend blankly and gets up, leaving the observatory. "Where are you going?" she asks Gojo "I won't be long" he replies.
You take off your coat, gloves and cap, throw the coat and gloves in the trash and your cap on the floor. You're trembling, suffocating, everyone was counting on you and you failed, you killed him. You needed air, you knew the journalists would be here as soon as possible. You walk into the x-ray room. You see them, the scans of your late patient, "what the hell happened?" you look at them over and over again. You go in circles in the room, biting your lip and rubbing your eyes. You rip the scans off the wall and throw them on the floor, "fuck!". Tears start to roll down your cheeks, unintentionally.
"Are you all right?" you hear a voice coming from behind you, you knew exactly who it was. Gojo slowly closes the door behind him and moves closer, "Everything's fine, everything's fine".
"Everything's fine?! Do you really think everything's fine?! Are you kidding me?!" you reply.
"Shh, it's not your fault you know" he tries to stay calm.
"Who operated on him? Who opened his skull? Who performed an invasive surgical method on him? It’s me!" you lose all control, gojo is not your enemy in this situation, quite the opposite. You move closer to him, pointing at yourself, tears flowing, your voice starting to break little by little
"You need to calm down, it was experimental and you know it" gojo puts his hands on your shoulders
"Do not touch me!" you reply, backing away violently.
He sighs and raises an eyebrow, leans back against a wall, crosses his arms and legs, "I'm not going to teach you your job, but death is part of your job. there are things you can't foresee".
"He was 15! He was 15 and he had a tumor since 13! He died at 15 because of me! It’s not fair!" you say crying your heart out . "Death was almost inevitable, you know that" he replies calmly.
"And what do you know about death? how often do you come into contact with it?" you approach him.
"What do you mean?" he approaches you too, clenches his jaw, the tension begins to build between you. "Don’t start with those things it won’t get us anywhere" he sighs once again. He didn't want to get upset because you'd just lost a patient who was very important to you, but he soon realized that the subject could take a rather dramatic turn.
"You dare lecture me about death and inevitability when you literally killed your best friend?"
— silence.
Gojo straightens up, uncrosses his arms and looks at you, raising his eyebrows, again "What did you say?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" you’ve gone too far.
"Do you really think I wanted this? That I wanted all this?" he approaches you again, his eyes wide.
"I know I didn't, I'm sorry-" you slowly back away
"Do you really think that your job as a neurosurgeon, which you chose, and my job, which was imposed on me, are the same? Do you really think that I don't deal with death? You don't kill patients, you fail to save them, it's not the same. I kill people on purpose, that's the difference between us. — the more he talks, the closer he gets to you, you find yourself leaning against a wall involuntarily. You raise your head more and more to look at him because he's so tall — I have no choice but to do this job, you do. I kill those around me for ungrateful people like you"
"Satoru, please wait-" you start following him
The door slams and you find yourself alone in the scan room, you'd just pissed off the only person who'd come to support you after your defeat, Gojo considered you a true friend so much so that he confided about his friendship with Geto and how much he was suffering today, from his death. You knew that your patient's death and Geto's were incomparable, and yet you compared them. Why were you so stupid?
You start to follow gojo through the corridors but the journalists start to come between you "I'm sorry I have to-", "Did you make a mistake?", "why did he die?", "He was only 15, how do you feel?" fucking journalists. You see Gojo disappear in the hallway.
When you get home, you try to call Gojo, but he doesn't answer. You try to send him messages, but he doesn’t reply.
11:57pm
i’m sorry Satoru i know i fucked up
12:03pm
please, can we talk?
12:32pm
i think i know where you are, i’m coming
You get in your car and head down to the graveyard. A few minutes later you arrive in front of his grave and there he was, crouching, wearing his mask as usual, you've always wondered if it was also a way of hiding his emotions, the eyes speak, but his, what do they say ?
"Hi, you didn’t reply to my texts i was scared" you say softly. He doesn’t say anything. "I’m sorry you know i didn’t mean that" — "Why did you come ?" he say not looking at you but still looking at the grave. "I was worried". He laughs ironically "really ? you really are the last person i wanted to see here."
You decide to approach him a little. "I wanted to make sure you were fine" — "And I am, you can leave now"
You don’t know what to say anymore, it was all your fault anyway. "Satoru I-" — "leave" he looks at you and you decide to leave.
You know he’ll never smile the same again without Geto near him.
hi, first post since almost nine months *tries not to panick*. I don’t know how to feel about this, i think i lost the way i was writing before ? i don’t know. I have a feeling this is botch :( I wanted to try something new but anyway.
even though i’m not a big fan of this work, i’m really happy to writing again^^
if you think i use deepl for this one you’re right 😜👍🏻
#periluvr#geto suguru#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#geto angst#gojo angst#gojo and geto#light angst#jjk angst#neuroscience#neurosurgeon#jjk#gojo x reader#satoru x reader#satoru x you#gojo x you#i love you gojo#jujutsu kaisen satoru#gojo fluff
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