#and being able to make my own SO easily is just. A+++
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chromiumquartz · 2 days ago
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do people nowadays really "hear" the gods? discussion wanted
hey fellas, title is really vague but let me explain. i really love to overthink a lot of pagan stuff, and one thing that's been bouncing around in my head recently has been about how there are basically two camps in modern polytheistic circles regarding communicating with the gods/divine/etc:
historic reconstructionism camp - only highly trained people (i.e. priests, oracles, etc) can "hear"/communicate in general with the gods. people in ancient antiquity did not receive regular signs, visions, or other types of communication from the gods, and to believe otherwise is unrealistic and hubristic. the gods have no reason to communicate with the average person. methods of communication are intricate, intense and often ritualistic, like reading the entrails of animals - modern divination present in new age movements like pendulum, tarot and shufflemancy is not the same as this.
"things change" camp - anyone can communicate with the gods, though many different methods - including modern divination methods, which are often more accessible than ancient methods. you do not need to have special training to "hear"/communicate with the gods. all are of equal importance to the divine, and they will speak with and love anyone who offers to them attention and devotion. it is entirely reasonable to think the gods "talk" to you through thoughts that are not your own, signs in the every day, etc. the gods are omnipotent and omnipresent, and so have more than enough ability to answer when called.
so i'd really like to know where you guys fall in this camp, or any insight/opinions y'all might have on the subject. no fighting, please, only civil discussion.
for the record, here's my stance:
i think anyone *can* receive messages from the gods, but there are many different levels to this. every mental "message" that comes to my head doesn't *have* to be a god speaking directly to me, but on the other hand, i would be denying their seemingly limitless power if i said i didn't think they had the ability to insert suggestions into my subconscious. this is factoring in discernment, of course, which i do think a lot of people are lacking in a lot of pagan circles nowadays, and i myself am certainly not exempt from! which is where the idea of priests and oracles being trained to "hear" the gods better and more clearly makes sense to me, but still ... the idea of only a limited group of people being able to communicate with the gods doesn't sit right with me, particularly because i can easily frame it as being put in place by those in power to keep the average person from listening too intently to their own subconsciousness/"messages"/signs or what-have-you and speaking against messages that were given by trained speakers designated by the ruling class of society.
on that note, the term "spiritual psychosis" does get thrown around WAY too much nowadays when people bring up their own experiences with the gods. certainly mental health plays a part of it, and realistically none of us are the designated godphone/demigod hero of legend - but have people also, in the past, not been given credence when they received "messages" (i.e. thoughts, signs, etc) from the gods, and simply pushed them aside because only the trained professionals can "hear" the gods? was it simply that they were coming at it from a different mindset, and just genuinely thought of things differently than we do today, particularly as we have the benefit of being (in a decent percentage of cases) less burdened with everyday survival ala not starving, being attacked by wild animals, killed by a rival kingdom invasion etc due to society changing? or are we just wanting to be special, today in a world where we all feel so small and overwhelmed by everything and craving love from something bigger than ourselves?
thanks for reading if you do, i'd really genuinely like to hear from folks on this.
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justarandomsixfan · 2 days ago
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More Epic opinions (Fanfic edition x)
I don't like most Astyanax survives Au's. At all.
(Strap in for this one, It's a fuckin novel) This isn't to say I don't like the concept. There's a small handful of fanfics that I think are able to pull it off (A GREAT example of one is Follow the light by Caregulus! (It's a French language work but can easily be translated) Suis la lumière - Chapter 1 - caregulus - EPIC - Jorge Rivera-Herrans (Albums) [Archive of Our Own (This also features one of my favorite Au's, Trojan Polites)
Anywho, I'm getting off track x I find myself disliking these type's of fanfics for a multituide of reasons, but I always circle back to the main three.
Plot holes galore
Andromache of Troy anyone??!!
Muddled characterization Let's go through these in order, shall we x?
Problem one:
With Astyanax now alive, we have.....quite a fair few plotholes that need to be addressed. I could go on for days, but for this post, I'm only gonna highlight one.
The Crew of GREEK soldiers would never in any universe accept the Trojan heir on their ship. Ever.
Forget making it onto the ship, Astyanax wouldn't make it out of Troy. Keep in mind, there are other kings fighting this war. A war that has been fought for the last decade. These people are going to loathe any Trojan, no matter their age, height, whatever. Odysseus will have to somehow smuggle that child through a burning city with victorious Greeks at every corner without being stopped once?? No chance. Also, let's not forget. There was a crowd forming for this pancake ceremony. The guy just dips back into the room with that lil bundle of future vengeance?? Hell nah.
I can absolutely say for sure that Astyanax would not be leaving Troy alive, not only because of this, but also because of one very specific character. Neoptolemus. If there was one leader who was not letting a single Trojan see the light of day again it was this kid. Not only is he the son of the best Warrior in the entire army, he's also quite frankly a psychopath. Going be EPIC lore, this dude has already killed at least 3 other guys AND the Trojan king. This guy is ruthless when it comes to Trojans. In most versions of the Odyssey, it's actually him who's the one to man the pancake ceremony and yeet the infant.
And if, by some unattained miracle, this baby makes it onto a ship, he still would not logistically survive without divine intervention. There are 600 Greeks on this Ship, and with the exception of maybe Polites?? They'll have no qualms with killing the heir of the city they've just torched and sacked. (And so concludes my first point)
Problem Two/Three:
My next two points link to each over in a sense, but context is needed for them to fully make sense. So, let's establish two things before we dive into a deeper analysis (rant)
(Point A) Troy had innocents. That's just a fact. There were innocent children, and most certainly innocent women. This isn't a problem with just these types of Au's, It's one I see quite a bit with Epic fanfics. They tend to gloss over the grittier details of the Trojan horse plan, especially with some of the more.....unforgivable actions. (See: Cassandra of Troy and Ajax the cleaning product) I wouldn't say this is an issue with Epic itself, more so an issue with people taking it at face value. Jorge himself has said multiple times that Epic is not an accurate telling of events, and this is reflected in the album. (Also see: Zero mention of Hecuba at all)
Now, Let's look at Andromache herself. At this point in time, she has lost everything. Husband, Home, any sense of dignity and pride, and is about to lose her Son. Quite literally The last thing she has left. This is meant to be a tragedy.
Looking at it from a non-Epic lens actually, Odysseus is one of the people to decide her fate, and if we're really stretching lengths out, could still play a part in that (It's never confirmed nor denied🧐)
(Point B: My issue) Most (As in 99.99%) of these fics completely ignore Andromache's existence. As in, she doesn't get a single mention. Some even take the admittedly worse route and have her involved, yet say "there was nothing he could do". Dude. You've just defied the KING of the damn Gods. Where is this sudden vulnerability coming from??
Also, With Astyanax now alive, yet Andromache still in the exact same position, this....complicates things. A lot more than you might think. With her son alive, you might think this would make matters better. Wrong. If anything it makes things worse (not in the way you'd think). Looking at it from quite frankly any other prospective, Odysseus has kidnapped a child. A child whose mother is right at hand and about to be taken as a glorified sex slave to her husband's killers Son. A fate which Odysseus, who could quite frankly do anything at this point in time, does nothing to prevent. Not a single thing.
To summarize: Epic lore: Baby is yeeted, Glorified sex slave Fic lore: Baby un-yeeted, still glorified sex slave, not has to live with the immense fear and paranoia of her son being in the hands of the man who constructed the quite bluntly sadistic idea which destroyed her home, and given an abundance more suffering than she initially already had and did not in any way deserve.
Now, I can link this to my 3rd point.
This one is a lot shorter than my previous two, yet still holds weight in my eyes. Keeping Astyanax alive sets Odysseus's character back. A lot. I stand firmly on the headcannon that Odysseus is a monster prior to the first song even beginning (see above re: Innocent trojans) and his ruthlessness and selfishness only becomes clearer as the albums continue, until finally every facade is shattered in the Underworld saga.
In I'm just a man, this is meant to be the 1st time we see this ruthlessness. The idea that this guy will do anything, anything for his family. Even going as far as to hurt an entire city or children just to return to one. This guy is meant to be ruthless, just more hidden.
Small unrelated side rant: Why is Odysseus so hung up over this one child?? He's already masterminded hundreds on thousands of children's suffering (even if we go by epic lore, their father's are new residents of the underworld), but it's this one child that triggers morality?? Like, welcome to the consequences of your actions??
Anywho, back on track. I feel like with now alive, there is a major setback. We don't have this ruthless, cold-blooded war criminal anymore, instead we have a sappy, compassionate randomer who wants to raise the boy who could one day destroy the two things he holds most dear?? Make it make sense!!!
So, In conclusion. I cannot stand most of these fics for the life of me. This isn't bashing against any specific writer of Jorge himself, this has just been building up in my mind for a wee bit too long and i needed an outlet x
As usual, fell free to leave ur own thoughts in reblogs, notes etc!
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xxkajtattooxx · 11 hours ago
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"I trust you will. Can't just go lettin' anyone in." Kaj was talking about this "secret lair", but in a sense, he meant that in general. He wasn't necessarily afraid to let anyone into his world, but he was afraid of what would happen if they left. He'd never had any kind of close relationship, whether it was with family, friends, or a romantic relationship, and he feared what might become of things if he did get too close. The idea was daunting, something he didn't want to think about until the time came. Though they'd just met, he wanted to be able to let her in eventually, if things were to go down that road. "You'll just have to start peeling back the layers." It was almost a challenge, one he hoped she could take on. He wished he could just trust someone easily, like she had trusted him to help with her car, but he couldn't. Her asking about his tattoos he'd done piqued his interest. He loved to show his work off, and maybe she'd even let him give her a tattoo. "Oh, yeah. Totally. I'll have to bring my portfolio over when we have our... Slumber party." Kaj was proud of the work he did. He put his entire being in his art, and it said a lot about himself without words. To him, art was a language on it's own, something he could use when he couldn't put things into words. If it weren't for discovering his love of art, he didn't think he would have been able to get through prison. "You have to wonder if half of them are real or not. I mean, people totally coach their kids to say shit on video but, I figure a lot of it is real." His hand was now relaxed in her's, and he just accepted it. He wasn't uncomfortable, but he did wonder why she'd held on so long. "Anything?" he questioned with a crooked grin. "Joking. But yeah. A nice good home-cooked meal after work. Sounds great. You'll have to surprise me." The idea was appealing to him. It had been too long since he'd had a good meal, that wasn't a tv meal or Kraft Dinner. It being cooked by a beautiful woman was just that much more enticing to him. "Cook together? I mean, if you want to turn me into a master chef, I'm in. Tattoo artist by day, chef by night? Score." He laughed. "I think you'll do great. I trust you'll make me a great meal.
When her car revved back to life, Kaj sighed, a little bit disappointed. He got out of his car and removed the cables, winding them back up around his arm. "Remind me to keep these with me. Never know when I'll need 'em." Moving to her car, he leaned into the driver's side, smiling down at her. "And hey, here." Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled his wallet out and removed a contact card from it. "This is for the shop, but my personal number is there. Or my Instagram. Whichever floats your boat. I uh—get home safe, yeah? And don't forget about me." And with that, he gave her one last smile before returning to his own car. He sat for a few beats and watched her pull away, before starting the vehicle and making his way back home. Now, he only hoped she'd actually call him.
END
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Everything inside of Jade wanted to continue this evening. Not let the night end, even though they were planning to meet again, she didn’t want to leave. She didn’t want her car to start. It meant that their time was up. Jade was teasing Kaj to no end but it seemed they both were enjoying it. He was giving the teasing right back to her. “I’ll be on my best behavior to work towards receiving that VIP pass.”she said with an innocent look on her face. He was a hero to her. Anyone else could have easily told her to call a tow truck and wait for them, they weren’t going to help. But, Kaj was going out of his way to help a complete stranger. They weren’t strangers now because they were opening up to one another. She smiled at Kaj and nodded. “I want to get to know you more too. I’ll slowly divulge that information to you.”Jade didn’t have many deep dark secrets. She tended to be an open book but there were some things that she kept bottled up. Jade knew that Kaj probably had some secrets and even things that he didn’t want anyone to know. They would get there down the road with talking about their past. With Jade no matter what Kaj decided to say or not say about his past, that’s what it was to her. His past. It didn’t define who he was now. “Can you show me some of the tattoos that you completed? I have no doubt in my mind that you’re a great tattoo artist that everyone who comes into your shop leaves with a smile on their face.”she said. Jade chuckled. “It really is. The parents could videotape their kids saying things their parents have said, if they’ve heard, or even watched and it would go viral in a heartbeat.”She didn’t want to pull her hand away from holding onto Kajs. “Then those are the colors we will go for. I can do that. I’ll pamper you with a home cooked meal, painting your nails for you, relaxing evening, and anything else you want.”she said. “Mmmmm those are some great dishes. Can never ever go wrong with tacos. A great choice. Quick easy meals is alright too. Especially with coming home late, taking care of things with the house and even Lazarus too. Finding something quick and easy is the simplest solution. Maybe we could cook together? I can teach you? Don’t worry I’m going to stay true to my promise and cook for you.”
Jade nodded taking a deep breath. Mostly because she didn’t want it to start but half of her knew that it probably would. She turned her engine and it stuttered a bit before turning on.
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reallyhardydraws · 5 months ago
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i overhauled my old ronnie dress up doll via @meikerio !
i tried to keep the same or similar items in her wardrobe to the old version, (but there were some i just genuinely didn't like enough anymore 😅) and then i added more pieces. like a lot more.
her wardrobe is very full now -- and i hope you enjoy dressing her up! feel free to share your outfit combos for her with me too.
[play here! 🧛‍♀️🍓💟🌟☂️]
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sweetestflow3rs · 2 months ago
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shaking myself around listening to the ‘just a man antinous version’ because i have no aggressive obsessive type ocs to apply it too. LIKE I SHOULD FIX THAT, BUT ALSO HAVING ANOTHER OC TO JUGGLE….. WHEN I ALREADY HAVE THREE KIDS…..!!!!!!!
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intheseaofred · 3 days ago
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"No?" the question comes out softly from between his lips, his eyes focused on the task in front of him, which despite having been done so many times, does not come as easily in this moment, the woman at a distance from him pulls his attention and makes him want to focus solely on her. It will take him longer than it usually does, he already knows this, in between some pauses and little glances, the clock keeps on ticking. "But, I guess you're going to have to get used to it now"
And yet, the world seems to stop for a moment there just as she answers his own question, the fact that she mention a person he knows doesn't even register in his brain, gathering instead the other bit of information he finds more important and far more concerning. She saw everything. And no one is supposed to see something like that.
He feels useless, standing there looking at her and trying to gather just what exactly he is supposed to do, but the answer will forever remain the same. Nothing. There is nothing he can do and nothing he could have done even if he was right there by her side when it happened. So, he gives her a small nod instead, the damage is done and he knows his friend doesn't expect anything from him. He only needs to trust that she will be able to get through this, just like she trusted him now by telling him what she went through and the least he can do is be there for her, to listen, whenever she wants to talk about it.
Don't make it worse than it already is. And that is why he lets her change the subject, not because he is uncomfortable, not because he is not ready to listen to it, but just because he doesn't want her to suffer anymore. Conrad lets her take control of the situation without a second thought "Then stop distracting me," he teases looking away after a second, thoughts still loud on his mind despite the attempt of making the atmosphere less heavy "oh is it, now? and why is that, you'll have to pay me well if you want me to quit my job and take on being your chef" this is some absolute bullshit, because they both know he would happily cook for Ariya for the rest of their lives if that is what she wanted. "Wait -" he stops for a few minutes "Does this mean I have competition?"
"i have more faith in you than you think," she replies lightly, truth hidden below a soft tone, her fingers still tangled in fur, "but let's not go crazy — toast was a low bar and you did clear it." her mouth tugs into a smirk but it softens a second later. "i'm just not used to being impressed and fed. dangerous combo." she shifts again on the couch, not restlessly but gently, like she's settling into something. her chin finds a resting spot against her arm draped over the back cushion, giving her a clear view of him in the kitchen. it's easier like this. easier to look without being looked at. his question still catches her off guard. the softness in the way he asks washes over her like gentle summer rain. her gaze falters, just for a second. then she winces. the flashes come unbidden — a burst of noise, a body crumpling, blood blooming where it shouldn't. simone's hand grabbing her arm. her own breath caught sharp and useless in her chest. it flickers through her expression before she can catch it. she shakes her head once, firm. not an answer. just a way to quiet the memory. "simone made sure we had good seats in the press section for the speech." it's all she says. no point for details she doesn't wish to recall. if she wonders about which row they were in exactly for too long, the images might come back and it doesn't feel like the moment to relive them. there's much nicer things to be looking at for the time being.  "i know," she says softly, when he tells her she's okay, gaze tracking him through the kitchen. it's unclear whether she believes it as a general statement but she knows she's okay for now. mostly thanks to him if you were to ask her, which is evident by the gratitude in the way she says it, a low hum of trust between the syllables. she watches him for another beat before she adds, "i just wanted you to know." it's a quiet thing, said more like a confession than a statement. like there's something she's offering him in that small admission. something she's not offering anyone else. a soft truth tucked between all the noise. something that seems to say because i trust you and because i want you to know all of me woven inbetween the lines. she lets the moment sit for a while, then quirks a brow. "now don't mess up the tacos. i already penciled you in as my personal chef." a beat, teasing smile resurfacing. "it's a really coveted spot."
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maironsbigboobs · 2 years ago
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re: elf servants
I think generally there are servants in royal/noble households simply for practical reasons and they generally fall into 2 categories: specialised servants (think, stewards and messengers and scribes, masters of horses or kennels, that kind of thing) and servants who help with the upkeep of the household (cleaning, repairs, cooking and also the apprentices and assistants of specialised servants)
specialised servants are probably quite prestigious roles and fields of industry in their own right, and they are considered full members of a household, and probably are closely linked to the person they serve - it's as much a political and social statement to be Finwe's chief scribe as it is an economic one
but the second category are more associated with the house than the family living in it - for example, Finwe's palace in Tirion would function both as a home and a diplomatic and administrative centre, it would be impossible for him to rule and keep up with chores himself. But Fingolfin's personal home would probably not have any full-time servants - when there more people than usual to feed or house then professionals might be hired, but for the most part I imagine the day to day is done by the family (made possible by the fact elves sleep and eat less than humans)
IRL domestic service (at least in the 18th century) often functioned as a kind of prep stage for adult life (for women in particular, but gender is probably not as big a factor for elves) and I could definitely see this in Valinor - domestic servants being 80% elves between 50-100 who haven't chosen an apprenticeship or similar in another field who are earning extra money to set up their own households, getting experience outside of the family, meeting others in their own ae cohort, learning independence etc. It's a job that comes with the offer of room and board + the wages a king/prince/lord can provide. Not glamorous, but not terrible.
The other 20% is made up of professional servants - experienced elves who are genuinely like the work and are contracted workers as much as a builder or gardener might be. Some of them might be independent and others part of businesses set up by other elves who are really into cooking/cleaning etc.
In Beleriand the situation (for the exiles at least) is probably very different, though I think there would be attempts to adapt the system - but there aren't as many households that need servants and there aren't as many young elves.
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lightblueminecraftorchid · 8 months ago
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My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right#which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
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primus-why · 8 months ago
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#i ran out of tags on my last reblog.#but yeah basically i wish the high guard leaned more into that toxic masculinity that they had going on#you know the type of masculinity where guys egg each other on to be more an more aggressive/violent/strong etc#the type of masculinity where... when asked ''how did it get like this? why did you and your friends take it so far?'' the guy doesn't know.#they get swept up in. let megs get swept up in this shield of strength and power which makes him feel (in the moment) not helpless.#but it goes too far. he does things he can't take back. his best friend is horrified by him-- doesn't ACCEPT him anymore.#he and Orion argue and instead of defending Sentinel Orion defends a random cronie and gets shot.#cue that moment of regret. except in this case he wouldn't catch Orion and go ''why... i'm done saving you.''#instead he'd go ''why...'' notice the cronie is trying to flee and Orion begs him to not become the monster Sentinel was.#but Megs takes offense to that. is he for real?? ''I am nothing like Sentinel. and I thought you of all people would know that...''#''... I'm the only one strong enough to fix things. It's what's best for everyone.'' ''D... no...'' ''Sorry Orion. Cybertron needs me.''#*drops him to shoot the cronie trying to escape*#Orion is so hurt. his sense of jutice is wounded but so is his spark. he dies and comes back as prime. and megs isn't happy to see him.#Starscream stands behind him emboldens Megs. the High Guard refuses to bow to another Prime. Megs now stands firmly in opposition to Optimus#this is because Starscream sees Megs as strong but easily manipulated. he thinks with him at the helm that he'll have a shield#while he basically runs the HG behind the scenes#Optimus and Megs fight. Megs loses. all his blustering about being the savior of Cybertron is thrown back in his face#it's embarrassing. he feels helpless. he never wanted to feel helpless again.#instead of banishment Megs shoves Optimus' outstretched hand aside-- he KNOWS he is in the RIGHT.#and just UGHHH THE HIGH GUARD CREATING THEIR OWN MONSTER BY SPURRING HIM ON!#no one is able to help Megs regulate his emotions he just feels bad and his new friends tell him to punch someone about it! it's not healthy#I WIIIISH I COULD LIKE IT MORE
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orcelito · 11 days ago
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LARPing as a productive and clean adult is Going Well! Cleaned and set up the cat food/water station, then cleaned their litter box (and even SWEPT afterwards!!!!). Also brought in all the new stuff, & the dishes r set aside for now, but i went and washed all the towels... and FOLDED them after!!! And for the kitchen towels I bought, i even set one out in the kitchen!!! Hung on the handle of the oven like a normal person!!!! I may even dry my hands after using the kitchen sink instead of just letting them drip dry or wiping them on my clothes!!!!!
Having in-unit laundry is helping a Ton honestly. While my previous apartment had the laundry room in-building and it was next to my unit so I didnt even have to walk far for it, I still had to worry about quarters and all that business. And about grabbing my clothes from the washer and dryer as soon as they were done. It was an entire Production every time. But now, I can just toss some shit in the wash and get to it when I get to it. Still don't want it to sit for more than a few hours at the most in the wash, but theres still wiggle room!! And i did a 2nd load for blankets, put them in the dryer... and now im in bed!! Blankets still in the dryer, bc it doesnt matter!!! I will fold them tomorrow and they can stay in there for now. And since I don't have to pay per cycle, if my clothes arent entirely dry after the cycle ends, I can just put them in for a little bit longer!!!! No longer have to fucking hang dry my clothes on my bathroom shower curtain rod the rest of the way!!! Dry clothes every time!!!!!!
It's freeing. It makes it a lot easier to Do Stuff. And it's really really nice.
#speculation nation#i also did a little rearranging of my furniture in my spare bedroom. it rly does accomplish the vibes well#of being functionally a spare/guest bedroom while also being a. study of sorts. im mostly gonna use it for stuff i dont want my cats#to bother me for. like lego building or if i pick up dice making. also so i can keep plants that are mildly toxic to them#never gonna keep anything that could outright kill them just in case they do manage to get in#but there r loads of plants that can make cats sick if they eat them that i couldnt easily keep. bc tally is a fucking plant eater#and june likes to chew on anything in front of her. sometimes this includes plants.#but there r plants id LIKE to keep that would make them sick... like geraniums#which wont kill a cat but will make them sick if they eat it. and so having it sectioned off where the cats arent supposed to get to it#is the best way to accomplish that. also i can probably keep some plants outside. i DO have a table out on my patio for this now#it used to be my coffee table and then TV table. but it's a metal and glass table. i think it was originally intended to be an outdoor tabl#it served its makeshift jobs well. but now i own a proper coffee table. so the outdoor table is now where it belongs. outdoors.#im like legit nervous about anyone trying to steal it bc theres rly nothing stopping someone from it if they decide to.#but it's been a solid day and a half and it's still there... a good sign... and it'd be less likely to be stolen if it's got plants on it..#anyways my goals for tomorrow will be to do another run from my apartment (since i didnt do that today)#including packing up my plants (i just left them in the windowsills there lol) and bathroom essentials and kitchen stuff#i also wanna sort out my kitchen Here. which will include clearing the counters of boxes and lego sets#bc i just kinda dropped them in there so theyd be out of the way. but now i dont have open counterspace. kinda cramping my style.#my current dish drying rack is kinda... grody. so im gonna assess whether i think it's reasonably salvageable.#clean it if so. toss it and get a new one if not. and in the meantime i can set dishes to dry on a towel laid out on the counter#but to do THAT. well i need counter space. and thus it comes full circle. id like to make it easier to wash dishes.#tho to set the lego sets elsewhere i need to have my furniture positionings finalized. at least somewhat.#so furniture arranging... also a goal... AND ALSO i need to head to home depot to buy some boxes and look at shower heads#im a busy bee!!!! so much to be done!!!! and this past day was mostly a rest day. didnt wanna leave my apartment.#but my 'rest' day was still spent doing a lot of cleaning and arranging things 😂😂 but it's kinda wild how much im able to do#like theres still SO MUCH to be done. but im doing it. i feel like im getting peeks into what it's like to be neurotypical.#cant stay up much longer tonight if i wanna make the most of tomorrow... i ALSO wanna go bowling lol#if im feeling up to it. we'll see.#i also trimmed my nails today and took a nap :3 im keeping busy and taking care of myself.#not been on tumblr much bc of it all but i shall continue to chat about what ive been up to. bc im proud of what ive accomplished.
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twinklefantasia · 1 year ago
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on one hand wanting them to bring over features from style savvy
on the other hand wanting fashion dreamer to be able to be its own game....
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equalperson · 6 months ago
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sometimes I believe that My tendency to avoid telling My family when I'm having health issues is just the result of avoidant cognitive distortions, but then I actually do it, get told that it's "normal" and/or a lifestyle issue, and realize the real cognitive distortion was expecting help at all -_-
#personal#I'm struggling to breathe and My heart rate is high. inhaler doesn't help. go tell My mom about it and she says#1. try again. 2. drink water. 3. eat a mint. 4. I'm getting fat#and then last time I told her about this same issue she said#1. I have anxiety from too much silence (I'm auditorily hypersensitive? noise gives Me anxiety not the other way around)#2. I'm so sedentary that it's only natural that standing up would give Me tachycardia (I obviously stand up multiple times a day everyday)#3. I don't need a therapist (which I've been asking for) I need a physician#and it's just a ton of excuses to deny what I'm saying. because how is it just in My head but I need a physician?? make up your mind#am I crazy or sick. it's literally just whatever makes Me look like I need the least intervention in that moment#medical neglect is a bitch man. it's not even that she doesn't want Me to be healthy. she absolutely does#but she just never wants to believe that it's THAT bad. I can't have anxiety because it's just cabin fever#I can't be delusional because I'm just spiritually gifted. I can't have an arrhythmia because I'm just fat. so on and so forth#she constantly doubts that I'm doing anything for My health on My own (I literally asked for a fitness boxing game this christmas#and yet she doesn't believe that I exercise in My own time until I outright tell her)#and never believes that I'm suffering beyond something that can easily be solved. it's so patronizing#she acts like I've never heard of breathing exercises for anxiety or exercise for hypertension. everyone knows that!!#you acknowledge that I know so much EXCEPT when Me being knowledgeable on a subject would mean that I'd be able to recognize when My health#is failing. once she said she thought I had hypochondria as a child and I increasingly believe that influences how she sees My health today#she said she never told a doctor because she didn't want Me to be dismissed in adulthood and yet she does that same thing to Me#and honestly I do get anxious about My health! I developed contamination OCD when I was fucking eight!#but that doesn't mean that I'm just being compulsive whenever I suggest a need for medical/psychiatric attention!
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prettyboykatsuki-moved · 2 years ago
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i have many many many critiques about wylls story, most of them being about the fact it's just so lackluster in game when compared to other companions which is a shame. because wyll to me is and has the potential to be an even more emotionally compelling companion. and he was early access!! he was so gritty in ea please bring him back larian i beg of thee. the way he was rewritten has stripped him of so much nuance and depth. wyll to me is such a wonderful character to me because of what he represents, which is heroism so down to his core he never gives up on it even when he ought to
his goodwill and nobility are ceaseless. at the center of his story is betrayal trauma, his agency over himself vanished into thin air. mizora turns him into a monster and there is no turning back. he has become the thing he's despised, the things he's hunted for his entire life. and we know so little about that canonically because of the way his story is set up but its hinted time and time again that he struggles with his reality deeply and even that cannot make him turn away from the city he loves so much.
if larian would go back to clean up and fix his story (which im truly praying to god they do) i want them to touch on what wyll must be going through as he continues to try to ground himself and deal with his newfound reality. i want them to touch on the abandonment he experiences because of his father and the inevitable burden his title as blade and hero has on him. because these things obviously compel him, they're hinted at all the time but they were completely stripped of him in final release and its fucking disheartening... larian please im begging you. thats the love of my life. please.
but for now i will do it with fanfiction and gather enough wyll fans to make a fuss about it . peace and love
#aristotle.txt#wyll ravengard#bg3#i love wyll so desperately. which makes sense as a deku lover certainly.#but i love him even more because his story is narratively interesting#here is a classically heroic noble making a devils pact to save his city#who is only rewarded for doing this by being banished from the city hes sworn to protect. by his father no less.#he spends seven years away from home and makes a name for himself as a fucking folk hero#he never returns. he doesn't explain himself. he decides that the least he can do is give his life to the sword coast#and then wyll meets karlach. a devil hes supposed to kill except shes not#and because wyll is wyll and because what matters to him most are his beliefs he is easily convinced to not kill karlach. he doesnt want to#kill karlach. so he doesn't. and he pays the price for it. his entire existence is uprooted and he is turned permanently into a partial#devil#hes become his own prey. he spends the game clearly sorrowful in the mourning process. and the game just refuses to touch on this set up#as a WRITER it boggles my mind why wyll does not get that attention from larian because the concept of a hero balancing the weight of his#own pain and sorrow against his beliefs is moving. being able to open up that path with tav narratively that allows wyll to be#selfish and heartbroken. to not be blade or sword. just wyll. what a beautifully interesting storyline would that have made#i have delusion in my heart. i hope they fix it. i want them to fix it so badly because i fucking adore wyll in every way.#and i want the game to represent who he is as much as i feel for him. he is an origin companion and deserves it.#bg3 spoilers
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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year ago
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listened to the obcr Voices In My Head over confirming there's that like half step up of the "made" in "me and the voices in my head have made up our collective mind" that makes it a line that comes to mind & loops there & gets sung to myself often enough, but then was freshly appreciating what's going on instrumentally behind jeremy singing the "(then make up) my own mind" of the chorus which i'm not even sure what it is, but the effect is striking, initially i was like is there an eighth note in the vocals there vs all quarter notes? b/c like noting that jeremy's pitch/steps go up, Up, down vs the instrumentation going [same starting pitch] down, down, but that there's Something going on rhythmically so that the instruments kind of happen "behind" / not exactly On jeremy's, and then i was like is it also just that jeremy is also singing evenly in quarter notes but the notes being played instrumentally are like just slightly barely After his, though following the same rhythm, like, an eighth note behind, fuck it a demisemiquaver behind. anyways it pwns & the end of the song getting me all hype of course like argh The Energy fr
#bmc#also maybe jeremy sings like eighth note My quarter notes Own Mind the first time & all quarter notes the second time....#you'd think it'd be obvious & maybe it is. i'm able to acknowledge this isn't; wait for it; my forte#accurate enough that after years of saying ''no i can't read music'' it occurred to me maybe depending i should've been saying yes?#like Yes i'd been forced to practice piano half hour every weekday for years. pretty beloathed & just wasn't really coming to me anyways.#Yes i understand what just about anything making up this Musical Notation indicates if that's what is meant#no i can't Read it & be like ah i can form the song in my head via this. but is that what's being asked in all contexts? maybe not#sort of a helpful guide for when i quickly memorize the tenor part of a song i probably already know / will also quickly learn#so yeah that In Between. same as ''yes i practiced piano for several years no i can't accompany you or even easily learn a song''#no relistened i believe jeremy sings it evenly Quarter Note Quarter Note Quarter Note My Own Mind both times#which sounds great. like i don't know if you made it eighth note & then a. quarter plus an eighth note. is there really no better term?#dotted quarter note? smh. anyway & then had That also go up a step lmao like you could do that it'd be fine#but the half step up in Made Up Our Collective Mind....effervescent. whereas the like Steady Emphasis of the chorus....#both fitting & feels like part of the Effect i'm getting. the percussion there even just getting to go Beat Beat Beat. Yes#god thinking of the hello kitty shoes. sweeping up will roland spinning him around for even simply that Thanks Understander
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alltimefail-sims · 2 years ago
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Sooooo round walls are buggy as heck?! There's no way the the Sims team isn't aware of this.
Worst part is that their asses are going to try and sell the medieval kit people voted on even though round walls are quintessential to those builds and they do. not. work!!!!
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orcelito · 6 months ago
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Working on my new routine for the semester. Since nail care is something I've grown to care about in the time since I previously kept up with playing violin, I need to be pretty consistent with it. I can't have Any amount long nails on my left hand if I want to be able to keep my finger positioning good. It's best when the fingertip is straight down. You just can't have that with long nails.
When I was younger, I kept up with that demand by biting my nails. It was a bad, bad habit that lasted for a good long while. I think it was definitely encouraged bc of the need for short nails with violin, but the true cause of it was imperfections on my nails. I found a few years back that if I keep my nails filed smoothly, then I won't be tempted to bite them, no matter what length they are.
Which brings us to now. How to not fall back on my old habit of nail biting, but make sure my nails don't get too long for violin? And the answer... is to file them every weekend.
See, I've thought up a system. I also want to keep painting my nails, bc I rly love having painted nails, and So. On Friday or Saturday, after I'm done with classes for the week, I remove the week's polish and then file the nails short again. Then on Sunday (or, in the case of this weekend, Monday)(whatever the last day is before I go back to classes), I go and paint my nails again. I want to have at least a day between filing and painting to make sure that my nails settle fine and that there aren't any extra little imperfections I need to get at. Will hopefully also reduce the chances of me picking at the sides of my fingers (have not been able to get rid of this part of the habit) for any imperfections from the polish on recently filed nails.
I'm working on the filing right now. I'm finding that it's going faster than last week, at least. Which is good news!!! I probably had more than a week's worth of nail to file last week, so it took longer. But it's not as bad with only a week's worth. I could always trim them too, and that's what I'd usually do, but they really don't grow all that much in just a week's time. Can barely even get the clippers under the nails. I just need to file them back again. Make sure they don't get the chance to actually grow out.
#speculation nation#it's such a pain to do this so often but this is the best way to balance the different conflicting needs.#the need to keep my nails short vs the need to keep my nails Smooth. and the bonus desire of painted nails.#it's not even just for aesthetic. though theres certainly that too. but i just plain like the feel of painted nails more.#nice and smooth... i love to run my fingers along the polish... it just makes me happy.#last weekend i painted my nails black with silver magnetic sparkles. im thinking of going magnetic again this weekend#but with darker sparkles maybe. smth more muted. an almost-black experience.#though the me of tomorrow will decide officially. i might change my mind.#dont rly see myself going with anything bright though. like my color changing ones. i havent really been in a Bright sort of mood.#i think im grumpy from how cold it's been and being stuck riding the busses.#it's better for me this way for now bc i dont want to rip my lungs up with the fuckin Negative degree fahrenheit weather#but im grumpy about it. i just want it to get up to consistent 20s and 30s so i can bike without it actively hurting.#i wanna be able to get around campus more easily!!!! and then maybe i'll feel more confident in using the practice rooms on campus#or going to the bowling practice times. man i really wanna go to the bowling practice times.#oh right i havent actually done the violin thing yet. i did get the bridge and mutes in tho.#gonna try to work on that tomorrow. crossing fingers i can get it fine on my own !!#worst case scenario uhhhhh if i fuck up the bridge i could use a different violin and bring my main one to a luthier for them to install one#got it sounds pretentious as hell for me to say that yea sure ill just bring in a different violin. bc i own multiple.#but i mean i do. though i probably wouldnt bring my electric violin in. so itd have to be my antique violin.#and i dont prefer to bring that one places. it's oldddddd and while it does still play fine i dont wanna risk damaging it.#but if i did fuck up my main violin. then well. shit happens.#gonna try to not stay up too late tonight so i can work on the things tomorrow. got a lot i need to do still.#cleaning!! and laundry!!! and practicing!!! and quizzes!!!! and also painting my nails lol#maybe i can try to do a lil cleaning today still. ugh. i dont want to.
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