#and artists who actually give a fuck are gonna lose their jobs

[conbuzzled]

I do get a sick sense of delight reading this

[dr-spectre]

I really like it when fan artists in the Splatoon community draw Hypno Callie as Callie but way more psychotic and fucked up.

The way artists draw her with the swirly eyes, red backgrounds, unique posing, etc, it's so cool! Way better than drawing her as some cold brainwashed zombie that sucks the life out of Callie because God forbid that woman has a neutral expression.

It fits more in line with how Hypno Callie actually acts like in Splatoon 2. She ain't a mindless brainwashed drone and the Callie we know is gone as lots of people say oh no no no. She is a CRAZY WOMAN!!! Her dialogue is shockingly similar to her harsh dialogue found in Splatoon 1 Splatfests.

Like... friendly reminder, hypnosis ≠ brainwashing/mind control. You cannot use the two terms interchangeably no matter how hard you try to argue. Hypnosis is a weird and unique state for a person to be in.

To me, Hypno Callie works best when Callie who has been under a lot of distress and suffering from her lonely busy life, runs off and decides to join the Octarians out of her own free will, and Octavio creates these hypnotic shades in order to basically keep Callie under control more as she is a wild card and could decide to run off at random. He doesn't outright brainwash her or mind control her, but he just gives her suggestions in a relaxed hypnotic state, and those suggestions just so happen line up with Callie's morals in her mentally unwell mind.

And Callie... she just needs help. She needs that reminder of the good memories she went through. All the times with Marie... when the shades get shot off of her, she still fights with Marie, she's still angry and full of this darkness inside her heart. But when she hears that heavenly melody... all of those positive memories finally rush back into her and she goes "wait... I remember! YEAH!!!" And then she finally reunites with her cousin and gets to have a fresh start with her...

It makes Splatoon 3 more satisfying too as Callie and Marie are so happy together and look back at the past with respect and go "you know, if it wasn't for those events, maybe we wouldn't be the people we are today." That's some incredible stuff man.

And when fan artists properly show that and show Hypno Callie as the girl we know but in a crazed state that needs help, it's some powerful art...

I've seen so much art of Hypno Callie with octopus tentacles around her and her "brainwashing" Marie too and it's so fucking vile and uncomfortable and disgusting to me. Its so gross that people wanna treat Callie like that, you know? It's this weird... disturbing and... here we go....

.....sexual thing the community used to do back in 2017 to 2019. It was an awful time and the VERY SERIOUS AND DISTURBING implications that it brought up are just... WHY?!?!?! GOD WHY?!?! UGHHH!!! You want Callie to be kidnapped, get brainwashed forcefully, lose her memories AND THEN GET SEXUALLY... NO... IM NOT GONNA FINISH THAT! FUCK YOU!!! FUCK OFF!!! HOW DARE YOU!!! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!!!!

Ugh...

...But I'm very glad that fan artists have moved past that weird and uncomfortable phase and are drawing this important arc for Callie in a more visually powerful way.

So yeah, good job Splatoon fan artists! You're doing DAMN great!!!! Now it's time for youtubers and timeline explainers to pick up the slack....

[38sr]

I know this is gonna be a strange one, but I do have an industry question;

I've been looking for a job for the last 4 years post-grad, I've tried every bit of advice I've gotten over my 6 years in school and 4 years out. Is it too late for me?? Or more so what advice would you have at this point?? I'm starting to feel really negatively about this venture, and getting a day job has been just as difficult;;

Hello Sky! Hope it's okay to call you that. Ah post-grad job hunting.....I don't miss that period of my life at all. Before I begin, just want to preface that what I say going forward is strictly from my perspective/experience. I am not the absolute of the animation industry so if what I say doesn't align with you, you do not have to follow it haha. Alright, advice for post grad job hunting.... Well, I think I want to start off giving a bit of context for the animation landscape these past 4 years that has been rough for everyone (trust me it'll come back around to your question): 1.) COVID Pandemic

This one might be a confusing for some people because when COVID hit in 2020, the only facet of entertainment that was able to keep going was animation. If you remember, during this time streaming numbers went up because people were stuck at home, every studio was launching their own streaming platform (HBO Max, Disney+, Peacock, etc.) and celebrities were given animated shows because live-action had stopped dead in its tracks. This period allowed artists outside of California state to get hired because what's the point of capping the talent to the local area when we're already working remotely? In short, it was a boom. But an exponential boom rather than a gradual boom. You never wanna grow too fast because you'll crash out quicker (and harder) which leads us to our second factor.... 2.) Netflix's first ever round of layoffs in summer 2022, streaming actually isn't profitable?????

In short, this year is when Netflix's growth finally stopped and was the beginning of The Great Animation Contraction. Other studios who were looking to Netflix as a the new model of distributing/creating entertainment had realized Netflix wasn't invincible. As well as their business model. So naturally, they got scared and and take action (aka layoffs). I was affected by these layoffs while working at Marvel Studios and many artists got laid off at studios to save face from the mistake that was streaming (though at this point studios were still double downing on it). Also, around this time live-action was slowly restarting thanks to vaccines and social distancing protocols. So those celebrity studded animated productions dwindled down (and also they caused so much havoc for us animation workers because most of those celebrities had no animation production experience). Which now leads us to...

3.) Mergers everywhere! Yeah, uh, mergers fucking suck. People kept losing their jobs because companies kept absorbing into each other and multiplying their debts to ungodly dollars amounts! Apparently no one took a math class and understood if you multiply any number by zero you will always get a zero. These merger also caused more shows to get shelved and canned, making the job market even slimmer. And by then we get to 2023 and the....

4.) WGA, SAG and TAG Contract Negotiations By now, studios have realized that streaming is losing them money because it costs a butt load of money to not only create a streaming site, but also maintain it, update it, create new media for it, acquire established franchises for it, and maintain the current library. Streaming shows aren't being advertised like they used to on cable so shows don't last beyond one or two seasons. Worker contracts are becoming shorter and shorter (I had a co-worker who had a 3 month contract! Isn't that insane?). And what happens in the midst of this streaming meltdown?

WGA, SAG and TAG are gearing up for their contract negotiations. And as we know SAG (actors) and WGA (writers) did strike which good for them! But now there are no live-action jobs and once again, animation (TAG) is the only one running because our negotiations don't officially start until 2024. At this point, so many animated productions have been cancelled left and right for the sake of "saving money and cutting costs". And the effects were very much being felt in the animation work force. Some animation workers were starting to leave the state of California to more affordable cities, some getting day jobs as baristas, hell some leaving the industry all together. It didn't help that studios were kind of withholding production greenlights 'cause 1) they're greedy corporations 2) these strikes were putting pressure on them. And when we did enter 2024 for our contract negotiations, that contraction was at the tightest. The job market for animation had become so bone dry that you have director-level talent taking entry level jobs to stay afloat. But because of that new, emerging artists are blocked out from breaking in. Anytime a job listing would go up people would go in a frenzy and try every thing they could to get the job. That's how little shows were in production this year specifically. Of course, by now it is public that TAG has ratified the contract (meaning we will not strike). But up until then, studios were quite literally waiting with baited breath for the duration of negotiations. A ton of stuff was in development but nothing was getting a greenlight in fear of a strike. So many animation workers at this point have been laid off for at least 2 years, got priced out of LA county, or got so burned by the industry that they left for a more sustainable paycheck. At this point of the post you're probably thinking, "Why is she talking about all of this and not answering my question?"

And the reason for that is because I what to highlight you didn't miss your chance. You unfortunately graduated at a time where the circumstances were not good for breaking in for the past 4 years.

I'm not saying this to deter you from animation either. I just want to be transparent and honest about the current state of animation because it really has been bleak for the past 4 years. So it's not your fault but rather the industry was just in a seriously bad drought. Both emerging and veteran artists have been struggling to find work and when they do it didn't even last for 6 months. Hopefully, with the renewed contract studios will start greenlighting productions again so everyone isn't fighting for one job opening. But I can't tell 'cause I am not Raven Baxter haha. But what advice can I give during this tough time? Start developing your own projects. Things may be pretty dry right now but now is the time when you can create and develop your own original stuff that can be used in your portfolio. Short or long form, showing progress videos, just create. Because once you start working it's gonna be hard to find that personal project time (trust me I'm going through that right now haha). Also, you'd be surprised how just doing your own thing can garner the attention of someone who does have the power to hire you. How do you think I got to work on the shows I have in the animation industry? Almost all of my jobs happened because I was just creating my own thing and it just happened to match the sensibilities of a show produced by a Hollywood studio. And if I had any additional advice... it would probably be don't think that Hollywood is the only way you can tell your stories.

This one is more of....a recent revelation I've had after going through a pretty bad work experience but Hollywood isn't the only way you can be a storyteller. Whether it's comics, games, streaming, animation, or film....the Hollywood system isn't the end all be all. And by Hollywood system I'm referring to breaking into a big studio like Disney, Nick or something and trying to get your own movie/tv show to win an award or something. That system often works for a certain group of people and fails other groups. That's why I say develop and create your own thing because you might find something that fits your creative voice more than Disney or any other Hollywood studio. Maybe that's inconsiderate of me to say as someone who's been incredibly lucky to work in the animation industry for almost 8 years now....but I still wanna be honest that there are other avenues that isn't the Hollywood way. All in all, please don't give up or beat yourself up. The current state of animation within America was out your control and resulted in many artists struggling to find a job. You aren't too late. In fact, I would say now is your time to do your thing in preparation for when that hiring boom comes again (or you can just take another route to tell your stories). I hope that answered your question!

[onlyjaeyun]

i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.

you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.

the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?

idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.

thank you for the feedback!

i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?

now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright

on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense

now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.

and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.

yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮‍💨

if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.

as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"

i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine

do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this

if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr

oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)

and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters

goodbye

[borderline-culture-is]

Vent //

BPD culture is splitting on your fp because every fucking time you try to talk to them it's the dryest fucking response ever.

"cool" "yeah" "oh." (Actual responses to at least a paragraph long message)

I can't keep carrying every fucking convo when I'm already breaking.

I told you that we're probably being evicted, that we're not gonna have enough food for the month, that our Internet is off and that our phones will probably be switched off sooner or later, that my dad, the breadwinner, fucking just got sacked from his job.

Please just fucking talk to me. Don't give me the dryest fucking responses, I need something to get me through this, I'm so alone, I need someone, anyone, please!!!!!!

Anytime you've mentioned something you're excited about, I try to indulge in it for you!! I try to get you to talk about it!! You mention your fave artist and how they're hinting at new things, but it's like the moment I get excited for you, you fucking pull back in disgust. You mention your fave show, or something you think is cool, and I get excited for you!! I ask you to talk about it and what you think ab a certain detail, or you want to talk about your characters or say something like "god I need to talk about them or else I'm gonna lose it" and I ask you to talk to me ab them!! I'm happy to listen!! But when I ask you things, try and engage you in the things YOU love, shit that I honest to God don't care about and sometimes hate, you just fucking

"eh. I guess." Or some shit.

What the FUCK am I doing wrong?? I'm starting to get scared that you'll bail on meeting me later this year because you hate me, what did I do wrong??

I don't want to be the friend that seems so self centered that we only talk about things I'm interested in or thinking about, I'm trying to make it even for us!!! So you feel included!! Because you talk about how lonely you are!! But you seem so upset and disgusted when I try!!!

Is it me?? Am I not enough???

It's been days, probably a week or so since you got so cold. I don't believe the "sorry, I fell asleep" or "sorry, I'm tired" excuses anymore. Please just tell me the truth. I'm scared. I can't do this all alone, I just want someone but if you just want to be done with me, tell me before I spend what little money I have on bringing you here. Please just fucking break me now instead of later.

I don't know what I did to make you hate me, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I know I can't shut up, I know I'm a bad friend, but I'm trying. Please just talk to me. I don't know how long I'll be around anymore, not with this situation, not with me probably about to lose everything I have. Please just let me down sooner rather than later

I hate myself so much. I'm trying not to cry, you're honestly all I have. I don't talk to anyone else. Yeah, I have others who are... honestly doing what they can to keep me afloat, but they're across the world, only awake when I'm asleep. You're the only person I talk to. Please. Please just tell me.

Maybe I'm just too fucking annoying for anyone to stay. I'd probably abandon me too if I could..

- 🪡🎶

I'm sorry :(

-Mod Ghost

[liannelara-dracula]

Tg boys reactions to an artist s/o?

TG Boys w an Artist GF HCS

Hi Love,

Lol, I realized now that you said reaction when I made hcs. I guess I got really excited. Anyways I hope you like it.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Prompt

Requests are open

Rules

Warning:

*certain words have been/may be censored for Tumblr guidelines.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Kaneki:

He likes watching you make things with your hands and he likes to join you.

Even if he doesn’t have a clue of what he’s doing.

He really likes it when you make mugs so that you two can use them for coffee.

You once made him a really nice-looking one for his birthday so he really cherishes it.

Ken also likes the doodles you paint on them since they look so pleasing.

You also probably like making aesthetic and minimalist vases which he likes to put on the coffee table you both have or somewhere on a counter of your apartment.

If people come over and like the vase, he will be excited to tell them that his girlfriend made them.

Ken even likes it when you sculpt random things too.

Hide:

Omg he’s thrilled to see your work every single time as a cake decorator.

Like he brags about your work all the time.

At first you did it for fun but he advertised you so much that you got a job for it.

He looks forward to parties and birthdays because he gets to see your work.

He sometimes will just watch you pipe and he’s just an awe like a child.

Would never critique bc he doesn’t know how to do anything he just praises your work.

When it’s his birthday you have to go all out mostly cause he just likes seeing your creativity.

He finds it interesting.

And he likes seeing you in an apron, he literally bought you a custom one that says “I love Hide.”

Ayato:

Thinks it's cool, mostly cause he can. drink coffee and actually appreciate the work more.

He also likes it because it's something you do.

Let me be clear if his sister was a barista he could give less of a fuck.

It also causes you to put a lot of time into it.

And he likes it if you make a personalized design for him.

He's not a huge fan of the heart doodles that much.

Cause he thinks they're "girly".

So he prefers designs like the realistic cat.

In general, if his girl is an artist he's not that big on it because he literally cannot do any form of art whatsoever.

So he barely gets the point and only admires you bc he's obsessed with you and no one else.

seriously he has a one-tracked one and is very picky.

Yomo:

Like Ayato he doesn't really understand art nor can he do it.

But unlike him, he will admire the works of others since it's something he can't do.

Even if he wouldn't admit it.

Though if there's one thing you both know he likes your photographs.

I mean you even take pictures of the two of you or just him and it looks great!

You pin them in the room and he thinks all your photos look perfect even if you don't think so.

One of your favorite things is to take pictures of him, like the left photo, rather than taking pictures of yourself.

Because of your photography skills and influence, he kinda learns a little bit about lighting and angles and how to use a camera.

Since he cares about you a lot tho, he would probably buy you one of those expensive cameras that you've always talked about.

Even if you do things with film he's interested and willing to see your works.

Uta:

Ohhh two artists, the studio isn't big enough for the both of you.

Well, that is when Uta gets competitive anyways.

It's not always, but sometimes he wants to challenge you about art.

"Let's see who's better at tattoo art." He'd say.

"Uh, no fair. That's your thing, Uta." You'd point out.

"That's the point, babe or should I say, amateur." He'd smirk making your mouth agape.

"Hey!" You'd exclaim.

"What's the matter? You gonna lose?" He'd tease.

You'd grow competitive yourself after here this, "Oh you're so going down, loser!" You'd giggle before getting the materials for the task.

It's always such a battle to win, it's mostly cause he's good but also fast. He is probably much faster than you because he does it as a job.

"Hah! Done before you in record time." He'd smirk, rubbing it in your face while you looked at him with your arms crossed. Completely annoyed by him.

Sighing you'd ask, "Okay, what do I have to do?"

He'd look at you with a playful smirk, "Ohhh can you guess?"

You'd look at him biting your lip before saying, "It's that three-letter word isn't it?"

He'd laugh, "You're good at being the loser in this game, you know?"

You'd playfully hit him, "Shut up!"

In general, though, he likes your art work.

But he has a habit of kissing you when you're trying to paint so you sometimes mess up.

Or rather you can't finish the piece because he's keeping you busy with other activities.

But you're the same with when he's working so it's fair.

You've learned to pull him away from work since he does it to you.

You two have paint fights.

Also, he likes seeing you pin up the art bc its an excuse for him to look at your butt.

Gosh, I need more of an exclusive ask for hcs with him just to write more about an artist gf. So I'm cutting it here lol.

Furuta:

Music and dance, sort of both tbh.

Or either one.

But he'd probably like a girl who is a ballet dancer since they are graceful.

Believe it or not, he likes watching the plays, and if you were in one he'd definitely want to see it.

He also likes to help you stretch or watch you stretch.

Idk why but I get the feeling that he likes to help you put your ballet shoes on.

If you can play the piano he really likes it and could listen to the tunes you create all day long.

I also feel like he might have some experience with it so if he wants to teach you a piece he can put his hand over yours.

Rule number one about Furuta, you can never stop him from being sensual, even if you're hobbies. He always turns it into something unexpected.

Like it can't ever not be suggestive with him.

Even if he claims he's "helping".

Takizawa (ghoul):

He doesn't get involved in your work he just likes seeing the progress and finished product.

Though he can be bothersome with the shoulder kisses sometimes.

Your paintings are usually about both of you and he really likes them.

You spend a lot of time on them and so afterwords he likes to frame it even if you tell him the piece isn't that good.

If you ask for advice he gives some but mostly he's usually just derailing you.

When it comes to picking flowers he gets more involved.

Though still, he likes when you do it because its a hobby of yours.

The habit really started when he bought a vase that you really like for your place with him.

Though he's not a very colorful person he likes seeing light up the place.

The only thing sei will do for sure is take care of the flowers when you're busy.

He may not share the same feelings with you about your hobbies but enjoys making you happy.

I mean you're all he has so you're the most important person to him.

And all he wants is for you to be happy.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

˗ˏˋ 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 ˎˊ˗ ©𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟔~Present

[taehyungfirst]

https://www.tumblr.com/taehyungfirst/761320458629021696/if-taehyung-was-the-one-posting-that?source=share

boycotters are literally whacking jhope (and deservedly so) wdym?

can this weird mentality of acting like everyone is out to get your personal fav, end already?

tae faces lots of sabotage and hate by company and fandom (an insane amount) but that doesn't mean everything that happens is related to that.

People who actually have jobs and give a shit about lives outside of worshipping the ground celebs walk on will be disappointed if any artist they supported for years hung out with zionists, or shared zionist brands, or remained completely silent about something no one should be silent about.

jHope posting selfies with a fucking zionist who raised 60 MILLION DOLLARS FOR THE IDF. That's a fucking big deal and everyone is pissed about it.

Do you have any idea the number of armys that took a step back and removed the 7 and the profile pictures and changed their usernames just these last few months (since muse, which also included zionists?)

the number of armys now saying they are upset and don't think they'd be able to find joy in bts music anymore because seeing some of the members cozy up with full blow zionists is too much?

It's a big deal and it's being treated as such in the right circles.

"if taehyung was the one who posted that" is this a joke to you? I KNOW it's not. You seem like a good person, and I love your blog, and it's why I've been following you for more than a year now, but things like this is so insensitive. Yeah, your tae solo and tae kook circles won't be hearing much about what boycotters have to say about jhope, since boycotters and armys that stan rapline wouldn't exactly be in your circle. Doesn't mean people suddenly don't care and only pretended to, in order to "sabotage tae" or some dumb shit.

Some of us actually care. Might be shocking in Kpop circles, but that's the truth. Some of us boycotted every song on golden from the day it was released. Some of us started whole campaigns for divestments and boycotting. Many of us boycotted every release for almost a full year now. We're not a majority, and lots of solos and shitty antis jumped on the wagon when it suited them, but that hardly means everyone is faking it.

People are dying. Palestinian fans are losing everything and then watching as those who they supported for years couldn't give less of a shit about it.

Ignorance is a choice. Yes there are reasons bts in particular might be removed from what's going on (aka military), but at the end of the day, all 7 are celebs who pursued this industry and the fame that comes with it, and all of them WANT to be famous and known and successful, even if it means working with unethical people, or brands. That's the industries they chose. They're not removed from them. They may not be bad people but they are not exempt from criticisms like any other ignorant celebs, and that is what they are.

Can we PLEASE not turn this into a bullshit fanwar?

I'm coming off as harsh and rude and I don't want to be, but it just feels like so many of you are so removed. Like zero empathy exists.

Did certain weirdos and antis use the tae McDonalds pic to spread a crazy hate train that was way too far and uncalled for? yes, and fuck them for that.

but that doesn't mean criticizing and trying to educate was wrong. Ignorance IS a choice. Defending and acting like he did nothing wrong and worse, trying to spread lies about the bds list, now that was fucked up too.

Like we can agree assholes will blow things out of proportion for their own agendas, but that hardly means boycotters as a whole aren't gonna be upset or disappointed when any member engages with zionists or works for zionists? (and all bts members work with zionist unethical brands btw)

Hello, my post came off as insensitive but it wasn’t my intention. I know boycotters armys are disappointed and I know they’ve been boycotting, but I still think that the reaction the fandom had for Taehyung was completely different from the reaction they had for any other member. My timeline on twitter (surprisingly) is not just Taehyung biased people, I have seen the stuff they said for Taehyung for a picture of 2yo fries. They made fanarts depicting him as a monster, unfollowed him, Ari (I’m sure you know who I’m referring to) created a side account to talk shit about him and wishing medias would lash on him. The reactions were disproportionate and it’s clear to everyone, I have never stated that trying to inform someone is wrong I just said that if Tae was the one posting Pharrell on his account he would’ve gotten funeral wreaths outside the company, and you know it well too.

[yuribalisms]

I don’t think I’m gonna articulate this well but I am genuinely so tired of queer spaces treating lesbians like we’re insane when we complain about how male dominated quite literally everything is. I get it. I get a lot of people either are men (or something close) or are attracted to them so they don’t give a fuck/enjoy/benefit from literally everything being male dominated but not only do you not give a shit that this is a unique uncomfortableness and oppression that lesbians deal with, if we ever say that, you act like we’re fucking insane

I can’t pursue certain medical treatments I want “because what if my husband wants kids.” I watch men at my job every day make fun of their wives and tell them they’re not allowed to get things that make them happy and no one acts like this is horrible. It took me fucking forever to find a female tattoo artist and piercer because the field is so male dominated. Over 90% of upper management at my job is male and most of them have harassment claims against them which nothing comes up because it’s other men receiving these claims. Even “smaller” things like It’s damn near impossible to read or watch anything where 70-80% of the characters aren’t male. And if you do find media where most of the characters are women it’s written off/only take serious by other women.

Even ppl I know irl that I complain about this too huff and groan when I complain cuz and it’s like I GET IT!!! YOURE A GUY!!! YOURE ATTRACTED TO MEN!!!! You LIKE seeing men everywhere, you BENEFIT from there being men everywhere but can’t you even fucking pretend to care that these are issues

And I can’t even go into queer spaces and voice I’m upset by this without being bombarded by ppl saying shit like “well ppl get flak for being attracted to men all the time” or “but masculine ppl are ignored in the queer community too” and like STFU you are comparing lesbians saying shit like “I hate men” or making jokes about how it would suck to be attracted to them to an actual form of systematic oppression

And now I’m seeing ppl post shit about “misandry is real actually” and practically saying shit like “it’s okay to hate women and hate see them and looking at them uwu” and it is making me FUCKING CRAZY

I feel like I’m going insane. Am I going insane. It’s so so SO fucking male dominated EVERYWHERE and I can’t even point that out without a line of annoying ass mlm and trans guys going “MISANDRY IS REAL YOU ARE OPPRESSING ME BY TALKING ABOUT MISOGYNY” like am I losing it. I think I’m losing it

And like !!!!! I actively avoid men too!!! I don’t follow men 9 times out of 10. I refuse to see professionals who are men if I can help it. And I’m still getting fucking slammed with this shit

Please. Please. I’m so fucking tired. I never wanna see another man again for the rest of my fucking life and I never wanna see anyone who isn’t a lesbian or at least some form of sapphic act like this is an issue that gets blown out of proportion I’m so sick. I’m so tired. Oh my god

[teenwolfminibang]

Artists Claims!

Hello Mini Bang Artists! I am excited to bring you the summaries for the seven fics being created for this event! Please fill out the Google form here: Claim Form with your first and second choice (use fic one, fic two, etc). There is also an opportunity to state fics you would prefer not to create for and fics that you cannot create for.

After all of the fics are claimed, or by Jun 5th, I will connect each author and artist so you can communicate and work together. (I will be working off a first come, first serve model with respect to people's triggers/squicks.) If you have any questions feel free to message me here, on Discord, or send me an email! The fics without ratings had none sent to me- but I don't think any of them are explicit, authors let me know ASAP if I am wrong. Summaries under the cut!

(And I just wanna say I am sooo excited about all of these fics! They are gonna be so fun!!)

Updated to add claimed fics to make choices easier!

Story One: Claimed Rated: E Ship: Scott/Stiles

Summary: The story revolves around a dark AU where the tragic murder of Sheriff Stilinski sends Stiles into a dark spiral. With the awful deaths of both of his parents, he starts to idolize death instead of fearing it as a way to cope with the suffering they went through. He starts to kill people, bringing them peace through violent means. Scott finds Stiles in the act, after years of witnessing horrible people doing horrible things, he just wants to stop killers from harming innocent people. So he proposes an alternative to Stiles, instead of killing people who are innocent, go after other killers. From there it’s a stream of murders on a road trip, California, Utah, Idaho, Wyoming and Colorado find serial killers ending their reins with a final kill. Unbeknown to the news, those final kills are the serial killers themselves being murdered in a way that mirrors what they’ve done to their victims. Scott finds it to be a job, but Stiles, he’s becoming more unstable, killing far more frequently than he had before and finding himself craving the release more frequently. Scott finds himself losing control of his weapon, and starts to panic about what their future really holds.

Story Two:Claimed

Rated: Teen Ship: Most Gen, Scott and Rafael, Kira/Malia/Scott

Summary: Scott goes to visit his dad during Christmas break in an effort to rekindle their relationship. Scott doesn't know that Rafael has discovered that he's a werewolf- and seeks to use that to his advantage. The focus is on Scott and Rafael and their relationship with a side of Malia/Scott/Kira and Noshiko and Melissa working together and being badass about it.

Story Three:Claimed Rated: E Ship: Scott/Theo

Summary: Two years after the finale, Scott and Theo must pose as boyfriends in order to catch a mysterious killer targeting couples. Their mission takes them to a mysterious hotel on the beach, where they must confront the past and their feelings for each other, before the killer catches up to them. This fic already has one chapter of it published here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44275597

Story Four:Claimed Rated: E Ship: Peter/Melissa/Chris

General Timeline: Post-series, pre-movie Summary: When Melissa takes a trip to a nursing retreat, Chris and Peter are left to their own devices for a week. She hopes that maybe it will give her two boyfriends the opportunity to actually bond. Melissa has always been the one to balance them out, and keep them from getting at each other's throat, and without her ever calming presence as a buffer, who knows what could happen? Drunk confessions and cuddling happens. Chris gets stuck in a life or death situation that leaves Peter with the hard choice of giving him the bite to save him, despite worrying Chris might hate him after. When Chris finally wakes up, alive and well, Peter lets slip exactly what he really means to him. Melissa is relieved they’ve finally stopped dancing around each other. In the end, they all fuck about it.

Story Five:Claimed Ship: Coach/Sheriff

Summary: “So,” Stiles greets from the couch where he’s been sitting in almost total darkness. There’s a light on in the kitchen but it only just reaches the living room. The sheriff startles, and while he doesn’t automatically reach for his gun, Stiles knows he maybe wasn’t that far off. “How was the conference?” - - - - - Sheriff Stilinski has been acting awfully suspiciously lately. Stiles takes it upon himself to snoop around and try to figure out why. A 5+1 style fic where Stiles sleuths out the truth of his father’s budding relationship with his Coach.

Story Six: Pairing: Scott/Theo: Claimed

Summary: Scott and Theo are brought together by a disaster that upends the separate peace they have formed for themselves. The decisions they made at the end of the canon series seemed like good ones back, then but all it takes is a shift in perspective to overthrow everything they thought they knew. All it takes is an Act of God.

Story Seven:Claimed Paring: Scott/Isaac

Summary: Scott wakes up after the fight at the abandoned mall, and he can't get Derek's off his head. Isaac, who has temporarily moved in to the guest room, is dealing with the alpha's death in a very different way. They both get ready for the cross-country meet, but they're both silent during breakfast. Before they leave, Melissa kisses them both and wishes them good luck.

That day ends up being a very long one.

Perhaps that was why neither of the two werewolves had expected to live through it again.

Basically, this is a time-loop scisaac fic focused on Motel California and the previous episode. The boys have to find out a way to break the loop. It may involve getting their heads out of their arses and admit what they feel, so Scott can get on the right track to be a true alpha later on. People may die in the loops that go Wrong (TM).

[gloveblazarrye]

^^^ THIS ^^^ Holy smokes folks

I don’t often feel the need to go out of my way to write anything but this first semi final was SO UNCOMFORTABLE to watch, and the other shows are likely to get even worse.

The UK was supposed to be a gracious helping hand to a country that is - rightfully so - too preoccupied with a literal war to host ESC. Surely the UK are eager to host, since their last time was in 1998, but they’d understand they are simply subbing, right? They’d understand this is not their spotlight to steal, wouldn’t you think?

They have installed 2 UK hosts and only 1 Ukrainian: Julia Sanina, who is placed next to Hannah Waddingham and only gets a few words in edgewise every now and then. Alesha Dixon roams the green room and chats elaborately with the artists. In the final this team will be expanded with Graham Norton, a third UK host.

While we wait for the votes to come in, we see a beautiful performance by Ukrainian artist Alyosha, BUT: she has to share the stage with a UK singer! It’s a duet, cause god forbid the focus isn’t at least partly on the UK for one song! And after that, another interval act: UK (again) artist Rita Ora with a splashing army of dancers.

Finally, though, we seem to get a moment to look at Ukraine: a video segment about Ukraine’s history in Eurovision. Julia announces: “Time for a look back through Eurovision history now. When Ukraine won the contest last year it meant a lot to so many people. But our story began 20 years ago...” And then we get the most horrendous Graham Norton-narrated whiny little video essay. I’ve written the transcript below, word for word. I’ve made actual info about Ukraine’s ESC history bold.

“...over in Latvia, one country was making its Eurovision debut (Ukraine), while another country (UK) got its first ever null points. What followed was two decades of high achievement and success... for Ukraine :( *insert shot of UK getting 0 points again* And the exact opposite for the UK. Well, it was time to give the newbies a chance, wasn’t it? *images of UK acts* Until 2003, the UK were the kings and queens of Eurovision! *more footage of UK acts* Five wins and twenty-three top three finishes! Then... for years... a Eurovision drought hit the UK, with only one act in the top ten. Go on Jade. In fact, while the UK clocked up 5 last place finishes, Ukraine had 5 top three finishes. Including 2 wins! And another fun fact, they are the only country to have a 100% qualifying rate from the semi finals they entered. Take that, Sweden. But then we come to Turin, 2022. *Sam Rider footage * The UK’s space man, Sam Rider, was gonna turn our fortunes around. And he did! It was the UK’s best result for twenty-four years. After coming top in the jury vote, they came a brilliant second place overall... *footage of Ukraine act 2022* Behind Ukraine. Again. Kalush orchestra’s victory, then Ukraine became the first country in the 21st century to win three times.”

Fucking stunning. The rest of that is misplaced self-pity for continuously losing ESC in the shadow of a country that has been at war for over a year. You can call it self-deprecating humour but if only 20% of your video is about Ukraine and the rest is about you, be it positively or negatively, you're missing the point.

OH and then we get to the final results! Surely Julia and Hannah will just take turns announcing qualifiers, right? WRONG. No, even in this the UK need their little ego-boost and get a 1-up on Ukraine. Hannah announces 6 out of 10 qualifiers, leaving only 4 for Julia.

UK. I don’t care about saying it nicely. Shut up and let the stage be taken by the proper winners. And I know, they put a lot of money and effort into the organisation, blah blah blah, sure sure, they’re doing a good job at the technical side of things. But that doesn’t mean this isn’t still tasteless.

how do i say this nicely. uk. sweetie. this year isn't about you

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

fine line - a close reading

gonna cry bc i’m at the end, gonna cry bc it’s fine line.

(x x x)

want to give the same disclaimer as with lights up: this song is so layered, so multi-faceted, that i could never hope to give an exhaustive analysis. due to its vagueness and openness for interpretation, i assume that everyone, just like me, has their own ideas about it and has attached importance to it in ways that no one else’s words can or should alter. this song means the world to me for reasons that aren’t necessarily in this post, and that’s how it is with art that touches us deeply. i’ve tried my best to pull it apart, lay it bare, spread it open, if you will, so it’s almost as free as it can be for you all to form your own opinion on it. in the synthesis i will make my own conclusions, but feel free to ignore that if yours are totally different. i’m just one set of brain and heart taking in fine line and projecting whatever i think is right onto it. alright, let’s go

fine line, track 12

sung in falsetto

live version at the form: first verse not sung in falsetto - after first chorus goes into falsetto - like “thinking of her” has summoned her

live version at the form: first verse not sung in falsetto - after first chorus goes into falsetto - like “thinking of her” has summoned her

Put a price on emotion

pouring emotions into the art you create: how much is genuine / how much do you show - line between being authentic to your audience and giving away too much, wanting to keep things to yourself and not feeling truthful with what you’ve written

exploits of the industry: lay your soul bare - or the exact opposite, some pretend emotion - to score that hit

I'm looking for something to buy

cynical. emotions aren’t genuine, right? where can i go buy some?

～ lights up themes. fake life, industry, being a sell-out

You've got my devotion

But man, I can hate you sometimes

“you” = career, music, Harry Styles™. devoted to the craft, to the job, all the ups and downs of it, despite the hardships it brings 

“man” is deliberate: can be seen as an offhand interjection, like “man, that’s rough”, but nothing is casually placed in this song. “man” is: The Man, the heads in the industry, the people pulling the strings. The man in Harry, the man he’s been in the media all these years, the part he’s played/had to play, the man that’s in him

⟶ “hate you”: hate for industry shit, self-hate created by having to play pretend (～ only angel analysis, the persona of the Bukowski womaniser)

“sometimes” - it’s not fucked up all the time

“you” could also be a lover, but the sudden “hate” there then would be for that person, which is absent in any other song about them, doesn’t make any sense

I don't want to fight you

And I don't want to sleep in the dirt

like there’s a choice to me made, but he doesn’t want to make it: either I fight this “you” or I sleep in the dirt

“you” as the industry: if he doesn’t fight them, he might end up being a beggar, lose all his self-worth bc he gave in to everything they asked/told him to do

“you” as himself: fight your instincts, part of who you are/the persona. if he doesn’t fight to figure himself out, though, he fears he’ll also lose

“sleep in the dirt” as a sense of rejection, as well

We'll get the drinks in

So I'll get to thinking of her

drinks to cope - falling, only angel, from the dining table - or to be braver and confront emotions better - tbsl

who is “we”? who is “her”?

narrative of “you” as “lover” further disproven: if “I” and the lover get together over drinks and “I” starts thinking of “her”?

⟷ “her” could be the lover, but then who is “you”? the industry? some other person, besides that lover, harry is devoted to? multiple lovers, all of a sudden? no.

⟶ “I” and “you” are all harry, that get to thinking of “her” because she is in daydreams with him. the narrative that harry is fighting a part of him, the persona he has (had) to play bc of industry limits, makes most sense. that persona is within him now, and part of his work, but all of him, “we”, is begging to come into the light - of which she is a huge part

We'll be a fine line

balancing act. let everything coexist but pay attention that those lines don’t get crossed the wrong way. what we are, what i am, is a fine line between what makes us go under and what lets us thrive

we will be: determination to fulfil this prophecy, statement of fact “we always will be”

“we’ll be a fine line”: other way of interpreting it is that on both sides of that line is what entails “we”, all that is harry. what merges on that fine line is where it’s just right, when harry is fully himself in every way

“fine line” can also be an echo of criticism, bigotry, in the style of: it’s a fine line between being simply flamboyant and queer, between dressing like that and people thinking you’re a transvestite or summat (cause we wouldn’t want that, now, would we) - “we’ll be a fine line” could be owning all of it. putting himself in the middle of all those messy lines, as someone queer without a category

Test of my patience

patience with himself - kindness to self - took a long time to figure shit out and it was a challenge

waiting for change: industry and its allowances/openness

There's things that we'll never know

my favorite line

“we” = harry / harry and company / us in general, all of us listening 

～ tpwk “i don’t need all the answers”: deep sense of acceptance

peace to be found in accepting this!!

You sunshine, you temptress

“sunshine” - as in all the love songs (blue skies, sunflowers, summer days…): lover - possible that there are multiple “you”s in this song?

sunshine could ofc also be directed at the temptress, still

female “temptress” - “i’ll get to thinking of her” - she - it’s tempting for harry to think of her all the time, to lose himself in the “her” in him

other interpretation for “temptress”: woman he knows with negative influence in his life - resemblance to woman “you flower, you feast”, so echo of Bukowski ～ only angel, kiwi (my sunshine, my love, who is involved with this temptress…)

My hand’s at risk, I fold

⟷ tpwk “dropping into the deep end”

not showing his cards just yet / forfeits

anxious to show all of him, to take the chance, with all the risks and consequences involved

Crisp trepidation

I’ll try to shake this soon

nervousness, anxiety - about (not) taking (enough) chances, (not) laying himself bare (release of the album that reveals much more than before)

“crisp” fresh, this feeling is unfamiliar - change is coming “soon”

sense of agency: I can get rid of this feeling by my own volition and make these changes - hesitant, insecure: “try”

wants to be braver. he’s not going back, but still needs to calmly coax himself further and further into the light, out into the open (“we’ll be alright”)

Spreading you open

Is the only way of knowing you

(can anyone else hear “spread thin” like a whisper under “spreading”? or am i imagining things.)

“you” is back - the only way of knowing “you” is to spread them open - the physical

to spread someone open - very literal, don’t need to paint the picture, or to lay bare, to lay it all out 

⟶ “you” as himself - the only way of knowing who i am is by doing this: writing this album, performing these songs, letting others listen in and form their own interpretations, let this world grow where i’m laid bare and OPEN and exist as this person who has issues, who is angry, who doesn’t know who he is a lot of the time, but is still so happy to be here - let it spread and let it all circle back to me so i can grow deeper into myself

We'll be a fine line

We'll be alright

“we” = h & self, h & lover, h & fans

collectiveness from tpwk

(notes on a piano sounding like drops, like he’s emerged from the water and dripping dry)

SYNTHESIS

Everything about this song is plural. Personal pronouns are all over the place. I, you, her, we. The sound is incredibly layered, with Harry’s own voice echoing through its verses like he’s singing to himself in an empty cave. Meanings can be attached to every word like it’s a wax tablet used too many times. What Harry has said in interviews for once holds pretty true to the actual meaning, in my opinion. 

“It felt like it described to me the process of making it and how the album felt in terms of the different kinds of songs on it.” (Capital FM)

This can mean a lot of things, and I think it means all of the things, of course. It means Fine Line is a summary of all of his emotions he visited on the album, of the things he’s laid bare. And it means that the actual process was also described, as one that can be frustrating and challenging, with added industry shit. 

Harry has expressed straightforward gratefulness to his label for "leaving (him) alone” while making the album and that speaks volumes. This time, he had the chance to make his art without the constant interference of a label, which meant he could weave in criticism as well. “Put a price on emotion” is first and foremost a critique on the industry. It’s the first line of the song, setting the tone for the interpretation of this song is about the risks I took while making this album. It involves criticism on an industry that creates such an atmosphere that only a certain type of music and artist breaks through or can be successful, that limits people in their personal expression. Convinces them that it’s better that way. That it’s better to hide who they love because the general public won’t accept them. That it’s better to create a song about a fake emotion than be honest. Harry loves writing songs and being on stage, but it’s taken a while for him to be fully comfortable there as a solo artist and bloom into the person that could make Fine Line. He loves his career, but it’s also limited his freedom in ways beyond our comprehension, and it’s exploited him to the point where he didn’t know who he was, in ways that have clearly taken a toll on his mental wellbeing. To a point where he finishes this album reassuring himself, most of all, that everything will be alright.

That process of making Fine Line obviously includes Harry confronting emotions he hadn’t before. He has stated that he experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows while making it. There are things he hates, he was fighting but doesn’t want to (anymore), uncertainties he was trying to figure out but had to accept he couldn’t, risks he still doesn’t know he can take without shaking. At the centre of it all is this sense of “knowing you.” The different personal pronouns in the song paint a fractured picture, which is ultimately deliberate. That the “you” Harry is devoted to and can hate sometimes doesn’t line up with “her,” that the end focus does seem to be this “you” that is mentioned in the same breath as “man” and “temptress,” forming the “we” together with “I”. 

After having songs like Lights Up, She, Falling and even TPWK, one of the central themes on the album has undoubtedly been self-discovery, in all its pain and glory. There are no female pronouns on the album besides, obviously, in She, and then here, in Fine Line. She is about a man living with a woman “just in his head”, who “sleeps in his bed while he plays pretend.” It is very clearly a trans narrative, the story of someone struggling to put into words what they’re experiencing in terms of gender. To a point that they fantasise about running away. Fine Line brings the ideas of knowing what it all means, which Lights Up kicks off (“do you know who you are?”), Falling deepens (“what am I now?”) and Treat People With Kindness turns on its head (“I don’t need all the answers”), together. Harry is still doubtful, and the questions asked earlier in the album haven’t disappeared, but he has accepted that “some things we’ll never know.” His aim, however, is still “knowing you.” 

To have Fine Line, as the summary of these emotions of self-growth and self-discovery, echo that one female pronoun, speaks volumes. It is a direct reference to She, to that story about gender. “Her” in this song refers to “she (who) lives in daydreams with (him).” The one who still only fully comes out when they’ve had a drink. The one he’s still working to include in who he is, as he tries to figure out who he is, all of it. The song where he sings in falsetto, just like on Fine Line. Of which he sang the first verse an octave lower live at the forum, switching between those voices, those perspectives. That’s also why “you” in this song is also Harry to me. We get this fractured sense of self, this “I” and “you” conversing over a drink, this “you” Harry is devoted to and wants to figure out. “You” and “I” form “we” and all of them are Harry. The lines are blurry on purpose, there is no way to figure out where “you” ends and “I” begins. 

“You sunshine, you temptress” is the most enigmatic line in that respect, and to me blurs those lines even more between the pronouns. “You” is suddenly also identified by a female noun. And no this isn’t about some kind of love triangle. “Sunshine” aligns with all the odes to his lover in the rest of the album. So what does that mean? That there are multiple “you”s in this song, meaning that Harry is addressing both his lover and a temptress? So “her” he’ll get to thinking of, the only other female pronoun used in the song, is identified as a temptress, but tempting to do what? To take risks? And no I won’t forget the “man, I can hate you sometimes,” where "man” is not a casual interjection but an identifier of “you.” 

Or is it an echo of “the light” from Golden’s “bring me back to the light” and Light’s Up’s “step into the light”? So that the “sunshine” symbolises being in the clear, being out of the darkness running through his heart, the darkness caused by not knowing who you are. “You sunshine,” you beacon of light. “You temptress,” risk-taker and source of anxiety. You, one I need to spread open to figure out, to know about, source of happiness and despair, one I’m devoted to but also hate. You, man, you, temptress. You there, in the mirror looking back at me. 

All of you, and myself included, we’ll be a fine line. And we’ll be alright.

This song is about all of that. The self in art, the self on its own, the other, the journey, the chances, the fears, the passion. Hope. Reassurance. Confidence. And, most importantly, that everything will be alright in the end.

x

read all my lyric analyses here

[manikas-whims]

Time for Show Kaz Appreciation

This is not in any particular order, I'm just gonna ramble all my thoughts.

Now we all know the show is kinda fast paced so everything doesn't settle in your head within a single watch. But after re-watching a few clips, I grew more fond of show Kaz.

1: Starting with Episode 5

Kaz decides Arken will grab Alina whilst the rest of them set up the lynx flush (was lynx intentional? remember Inej's title at the menagerie?)

Anyways, Inej immediately makes a remark because even though they all believe in Kaz's planning, she is shocked he's ready to let the new guy take the most important part. This shows that like usually in the books Inej (and Jesper) don't know the complete details or the actual plan laid out by Kaz.

Look at Arken's joyous look on knowing he's being handed the most important task. He had wanted to be alone with Alina all along so he could get rid of the sun summoner. He probably even lied about the lodestone and its prolonged use making one..impotent?

And its only later after the Winter Fete event, when she sees Alina hanging out with her grisha pals that Inej realises Kaz had lied about the lynx flush. That they weren't acting as distraction but were actually flushing out the traitor. Arken dumbly took the bait cause Kaz let him believe that he as the leader of crows was putting his trust in Arken when handing him the main job. And it all went exactly as Kaz planned 😌

Look at all the fucks Kaz gives about Arken getting caught 😂 whilst Inej is there somewhat worried for this stranger. Soft Kaz who? He only cares about himself and "his crows". 😗

And he's smart as usual. If there's one person whom you can count on to know about profit makers, its Kaz. Where Inej is concerned about the "what ifs" if he's wrong, Kaz is completely sure because he thinks things over. Everything.

2: Kaz being fine with Arken's inclusion

Since from the SS above we can see Kaz knows that Arken is one of the two people profiting from this whole "Grisha smuggling trade", the other person has to be someone powerful enough to allow such trade to run smoothly. Arken has been doing this for quite a while without any governmental issues whicj means someone powerful enough is backing him up. And Kaz knows which is very useful to Kaz and his crows because:

~ their travel won't be gain much attention of higher ups cause people know its that guy Arken's train

~ if they do get caught by Ravkan government, they can put it all on Arken since the guy actively smuggles out Grisha. And the crows can just say they were working for Arken, not the other way around. (i know the Darkling may not let them go so easily but i know Kaz will have a plan to get out his crew if it ever came to that)

3: Suspicious of Arken

Kaz is always somewhat suspicious of Arken if you re-watch. Why would a smuggler just decide to join a bunch of criminals if he's already profiting off a lot from the fold. There must be something in it for him. And Kaz knows, which is why when its time to fetch things for Arken, Kaz doesn't let Jesper or Inej have any thoughts. He immediately takes up the quick task of bringing the goat and assigns Jesper with alabaster coal. He specifies no detours but he knows Jesper will take his time, which in turn will give Kaz more time to go around and spy on what is Arken actually upto. And he does, he discovers Arken conversing with Zlatan who must've also handed Arken the lodestone and the mission to kill Alina.

Thus, Kaz's suspicions about Arken are confirmed and now he's fully ready to expend Arken whenever the need be. And he finds that opportunity when he discovers there's a decoy to be dressed up as Alina. He immediately uses that to appoint Arken, what everyone believes, is the most important part of their mission but instead tricks him.

4: Other things to take note of

• Inej's lose trust in Kaz

Even when Alina escapes from the Crows, Inej doesn't believe for a second that Kaz has dropped the job. When they have a small argument in that tavern, she even asks if he's threatening to send her back to the Menagerie. We know he'll never but Inej doesn't. And same goes for the show onlys. They don't really know Kaz and trust him just as much as Inej.

Even when Kaz decides for them to board the ship as delegates, both Inej and Jesper are unsure. They ask him if truly just wants to get back to Ketterdam. That its merely coincidence that the sun summoner happens to be traveling via the same ship.

This small sliver of doubts about Kaz is something that the others always have about him even in the books. Nobody knows whats going on in Dirtyhand's mind.

• His outfit changes

We have no idea how he acquired the artist outfit or the guard outfit where Inej is about to stab him xD.

We also have no idea how he snuck amongst the Darkling's personal guard. How he acquired the outfit and what went down between him and whomever he snatched it from, we have no idea. A complete magician if you ask me.

• His Quick Wit

Now we were all having fun watching that "JES" moment. But thats where Kaz also informs them he had been focusing on Arken's timings and that he's learnt them. A quick thinker and a fast learner!

• His moments with Inej

Like I've said in my other post, his moments with Inej are canon compliant. Whenever they are alone, he's always more open..more like a boy talking to his crush ☺

All their book moments are like that— meaningful conversations or heated arguments or a mix of both.

• His friendship with Jesper

Its also canon compliant. If you remember "pay someone to pay someone else to burn my kruge" and "i'll hire Matthias's ghost to beat up yours" all happened in canon. Jesper is his bestie, he's always gonna be like that with Jesper.

5: His scenes in Ketterdam

All his scenes in Ketterdam were amazing. (okay him being bested by two of Pekka's men was kinda unbelievable but needed).

Him warning Jesper about loud noises at the table, him stoically standing when Alexei is shot, him casually looking around and discovering that a woman's way of counting money is different. He's really a keen observer and smart.

Also, him stealing the crow club shares, him quickly catching the note sent by Heleen and him telling Jesper he would've done exactly what Heleen did to manipulate Inej. Thats the cold and calculated Dirtyhands for you!

So there it is! Some of what I noticed whilst re-watching. The finer details about him are sprinkled throughout the show but we find it hard to see them because we are used to see such things fully unveil in books when reading his pov. Unless the show gave us a Kaz pov, we wouldn't have immediately taken note of everything I said above..:)

[angellesword]

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (14)

Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It's simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if...Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively:

"A future without you is a world without color."

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, angst, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Note: The lyrics of the song your eyes tell by BTS used in this chapter is NOT translated by me. It is composed/covered by  genuis english  translation and Jess A. Please consider listening to their music here. They’re a great singer! A line from Agust D’s 140503 at Dawn is also used in this update.

Warnings: blood, physical violence

***This is a super short chapter. JJK is just reflecting hehe

SERIES: CHAPTER 13 | FINAL CHAPTER

The blood in Jeongguk's lower lip was mocking him—telling him that once again, he fucked up.

Or at least this was what Park Jimin thought.

"So that's it, huh?" Your best friend rarely resort to violence—wait. This was wrong. Violence was never an option for Jimin, but he was making an exception tonight.

"You're just going to give up on her?" The older boy grabbed the collar of your soulmate's shirt.

Jimin was so mad he swore he could beat Jeongguk to a pulp.

How could Jeongguk be this dumb?

Jimin heard your conversation with your soulmate just a few breaths ago. He didn't plan to eavesdrop, it just happened.

Yoongi was the first one to know what happened to you. He was adamant to let you leave a while ago. He just had this weird feeling in his stomach that told him to check up on you.

His nightmare became a reality when he saw Jimin and Taehyung making out on the couch. You weren't with them and it only meant one thing: you left alone.

Yoongi was so mad at himself. He should have called you an uber or he should have driven you to wherever the hell you wanted to go.

This was partly his fault that's why he couldn't help but shudder in fear and regret when one of his staffs told him about what happened to you.

Police officers said you were under the influence of alcohol. Yoongi already knew this, but Taehyung and Jimin were still shocked.

They had no idea you left.

It actually took the three of them a long time to know what had happened to you. By the time they reached the hospital, they were already too late.

Jeongguk managed to make you cry over and over again.

What an asshole.

What kind of soulmate was Jeongguk? Were you really meant to be together? These questions were running inside your best friend's head. It had been answered when Jeongguk suddenly pushed Jimin away.

He wiped the blood in his bottom lip, smirking at his hyung.

"Who said I'm giving up on her?"

Jimin's jaw dropped. Jeongguk’s voice is full of confidence and determination.

"Y-You’re not?"

"No." Your soulmate said firmly. He couldn't. He wouldn't. Not when he was sure about what he felt for you, not when you needed him the most, and definitely not when you were giving up on him.

No. He should fight when you couldn't.

"Good," your best friend released a breath. He hated your soulmate for hurting you, but Jimin also knew that you loved Jeongguk—even if you told him otherwise.

This was the sad thing about the existence of soulmate that Jimin despised. The encouraging reminders like 'You should learn to love yourself,' and 'you don't need your soulmate to be happy,' would not apply.

It helped, yes. But your world was different. It would always feel like a part of you was missing when your soulmate didn’t love you back.

Humans were made to love and to feel loved. This reminded Jimin of the neon signage that's plastered on Genius Lab: I'm the island in this vast ocean, don't abandon me. This was Min Yoongi's idea. The bar owner always told him and everyone (really) that people were like island—they were able to provide—to extend their hands in this cold world.

They should never be abandoned because like any other things, they needed to be taken care of too.

"But what are you planning to do?" Jimin creased his forehead.

Jeongguk didn't even bat an eyelash when you told him to let you go. This was what annoyed Jimin. How could your soulmate be so silent about this? Why did he simply leave when you told him to go?

In Jeongguk's defense, he just didn't want to upset you any longer. He was aware that his presence was stressing you out. You should rest, especially because there's possibility that you might need to undergo an eye surgery.

Jeongguk's heart clenched once again. You were blind and you thought it was because he hated you.

It’s not true and he would change your mind.

"Seriously, Guk?" Taehyung shook his head, scowling. "This is your and my fiancé’s idea?"

"Don't get mad at Jimin-hyung. It's my idea." Jeongguk corrected his best friend. "Your soulmate is just helping me."

It had been days since the accident and you were aware that Jeongguk had been by your side all this time, not really by your side, per se, but he was around. He was patiently waiting outside of your room in this hospital, begging Jimin and your other loved ones to tell him what he could to help.

Today was the only time he left the hospital, as in the same day of your eye surgery.

Jeongguk swore he's not running away this time though. He was actually going to let you know that he would be staying with you. Forever.

"I can't let you do this, Jeon. I'm gonna lose my job if you fuck this one up!" Taehyung groaned.

"Hyung, please. This is really important!" Jeongguk was nervous. He was running out of time. Your surgery was in a few minutes and here he was, invading the studio where Taehyung worked as a DJ.

"This is going to be aired on national radio, Guk. As in the whole South Korea!"

"I know!" Jeongguk's eyes were blown wide. "This is exactly why I want to do this, hyung. I want everyone to know how I feel!"

If you couldn’t see, then maybe you could understand Jeongguk’s feelings by listening. He was willing to explore other senses just to make you believe.

"Fucking sappy!" In the end, Taehyung had no choice but to let his best friend proclaim his love for you.

Jeongguk smiled as he tapped the microphone, softly calling your name.

"It's Jeongguk. I know you don't want to hear from me, but I have something to say." Jeongguk grimaced. He seriously sucked when it came to expressing his emotions through words. "This will be quick, I promise. I just hope Jiminie-hyung is actually helping me out."

"Of course he is!" Taehyung shouted somewhere. Jimin wouldn't dare to ruin this for you. His task was simple anyway. He only needed to make sure that you were listening to the radio a few moments before your eye surgery.

You were nervous. Jimin wanted to help you calm down by making sure that you knew Jeongguk was not going to leave you alone in the cold.

"Anyway I know that I...well...I," your soulmate blushed. How should he describe himself? Was there a word that could emphasize his stupidity?

"I am an idiot." Jeongguk bit the inside of his cheek. This was the only adjective he could think of. "I am the idiot who hurt you and I know, I know...I don’t deserve your forgiveness because of how selfish I was—I mean, am. I still am."

He chuckled nervously. His heart was hammering.

"Call me selfish or whatever you want. I'm sure I deserve it anyway, but yeah...I'll be selfish again if this is the only way to let you know what I really feel about you."

Jeongguk cleared his throat as the beat of the music started to play.

"Why are my eyes filled with tears?” He sang.

This was a song composed by him. Of course he couldn't do this alone. Namjoon was the one who produced the beat of this song. He also helped his brother-in-law to write the lines. Ji-eun's father was a lyrical genius.

"Hey, stay by my side and laugh.” Jeongguk knew he was asking for too much. It was impossible to simply smile and stay with him—not after the hell he had put you through.

"A future without you is a world without color, filled with monochrome coldness." But this was the exact representation of what would happen if you weren't in his life.

Life would literally be black and white. Dull. Jeongguk knew how essential colors were in his life, yet if he was forced to choose between the hues and you, he would choose you in a heartbeat.

"Even the darkness we see is so beautiful. Please believe me."

Darkness was the absence of light. You were Jeongguk’s light. His life would be dark if you were not around.

He also knew you were going through the darkest time of your life, so he wanted this moment to still be beautiful.

He wanted you to believe that every hardship would pay off. You just had to believe.

"Looking only directly at you, so you don't go away"

Jeongguk wrote this line many months ago. It wasn't even meant to be lyrics to a song. These were simply the words he incorporated in his art.

Jeongguk was a soft person. He usually put cheesy captions in his paintings and drawings—the things he usually couldn’t verbalize.

"Whatever lies in the way of you and me. I'll just keep looking at the future of you and I."

It didn't matter that you lost hope. Jeongguk was sure he would make you believe in love again.

"Shadows of the past keep chasing me everywhere I go, and they try to keep ahold of me and till this day they follow me."

He would try to let go of his hurtful past. Those things didn't matter because he could always make good memories with you.

"Even though it seems to be the start of the end I'll call you and shout out your name."

He would be the hope in your relationship. This might be the end for you; however, Jeongguk was just starting.

Starting to accept the soulmate bond.

"I'll become your eyes to the world and for whatever we may face."

Starting to show you how much you meant to him.

He was willing to become your eyes if you didn't recover from this instantly. He would guide you until you could see again.

"One day all of this, this sadness that we share will bring us together."

The sadness would be over soon. You would see again;

Because Jeon Jeongguk was sure. He loved you and...

"Your eyes will tell."

[chefboyard-bag]

@immortalsapphics got me

coke or pepsi? coke

disney or dreamworks? dreamworks ftw

coffee or tea? coffee

books or movies? Younger me would said books all the way, but I struggle to get myself to finish books now, so I guess movies

windows or mac? windows.. like duh

dc or marvel? I definitely read more DC as a kid, but I was briefly on a geek-ass podcast and my role was to be the "well actually" guy, so I know way more Marvel lore

x-box or playstation? PC, my most recent-gen console is a 360

dragon age or mass effect? Never played either

night owl or early riser? Can't wake up well to save my life, I don't hit my stride until like 6pm

cards or chess? I'm impressively good at losing every chess game I've ever played, but I'll take your car in hold 'em

chocolate or vanilla? I used to be the death-by-chocolate type, but honestly vanilla slaps

vans or converse? I rock both, but only the old-school, modern style shoes suck ass

Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar? Is Dragon Age like explicitly Irish, or is it just a coincidence?

fluff or angst? angst all day

beach or forest? Swamp baybeeee

dogs or cats? cats fur sure

clear skies or rain? I can fucks with the rain, but I needs me some clear days

cooking or eating out? The URL ain't a joke, I throw down in the kitchen

spicy food or mild food? I don't vibe with spice that is just pain for the sake of hurt, but gimme that tastee heat

halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas? My entire apartment is permanently halloween themed

would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot? I guess a little cold? Idk the older I get the more I realize anything outside of 69-73°F and I'm uncomfortable

if you could have a superpower, what would it be? Time manipulation

animation or live action? animation, but like it's gotta be well done

paragon or renegade? McScuse me?

baths or showers? showers, but baths can be a beautiful thing when the chronic pain is especially bad

team cap or team ironman? they were both wrong

fantasy or sci-fi? sci-fi, as long as it's scientifically accurate

do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they? that's too many words, but "this world might be cruel, but I'm still kickin" has legit kept me around

youtube or netflix? youtube, love me them dumbass videos

[REDACTED] yeah fuck it why not

when do you feel accomplished? LMAO as if I've ever experienced that emotion

star wars or star trek? idk I've never been big into either

paperback books or hardcover books? Love me the sensory experience of a hardcover, but most of my books are paperback

to live in a world without literature or without music? You're really gonna ask a multi-instrumentalist to give up music?

who was the last person to make you laugh? Everyone thinks I'm funny, then they meet my partner..

city or countryside? country without a doubt, been living in a huge city for 6 years now and every single person here can fuck off and die. I miss the farm

favorite chips? Cape Cod

pants or dresses? I can rock the hell out of a dress, but designers hate women and the functionality of pants can't be beat

libraries or museums? *sweats profusely* I.. I . don't know

character driven stories or plot driven stories? Depends on how it's sold, I typically lean towards plot, but I'll read an entire book of pure characterization if it's actually interesting and relevant

bookmarks or folding pages? bookmarks but I can never find mine, so dog-ear it is

Dream job? One of those executive positions that pays $600k to sit on your ass and do nothing

What gives you comfort? SLEEP

what are some of your favorite song lyrics? "In this god-fearing land there ain't no lodging for the mad, and you can't get high enough to breathe before you drown"

favorite ice cream flavor ever? OTTER PAWS 🐾

first fandom? I can genuinely say I've never been a member of any fandom

top artist of this year? LMFAO I'm a top 2% listener of the Kermitment podcast

Got tagged by @dingbingbats

Rapid fire questions go

coke or pepsi? Bepsi :)

disney or dreamworks? Dreamworks have dragons so

coffee or tea? Coffee for utility tea for pleasure

books or movies? You can't make me choose

windows or mac? Windows, Mac scares me

dc or marvel? DC ig, I like Harlivy

x-box or playstation? PC and Nintendo consoles

dragon age or mass effect? Never played either of them

night owl or early riser? Born to night owl forced to early rise

cards or chess? Cards, I suck at chess :(

chocolate or vanilla? Depends, mostly chocolate though

vans or converse? Vans are more comfy but I love my Converse to death

Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar? Don't speak French

fluff or angst? BOTH

beach or forest? Forest

dogs or cats? Both are lovely beasts but I have a slight cat bias

clear skies or rain? Rain 100%, not to be too emo but I love the sensation of raindrops falling on my back

cooking or eating out? Cooking all the way if it wasn't for executive dysfunction

spicy food or mild food? I like it a bit spicy. Like "spicy at a Turkish restaurant" not "spicy at an Indian restaurant"-levels

halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas? Halloween:)

would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot? The latter is just menopause so that one ig???

if you could have a superpower, what would it be? Shapeshifting or invisibility, you're on the trans loser website

animation or live action? Animation

paragon or renegade? Don't speak Italian

baths or showers? Showers

team cap or team ironman? Unchecked nationalism or hypercapitalist libertarianism. Captain America I guess because I cannot imagine a single emotionally resonant story that could be told with the current iteration of Ironman

fantasy or sci-fi? fantasy but I've been getting more into sci-fi lately

do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they? The Sappho quote, you know the one;"[…]Heaven and hell are the same but in heaven they feed each other";The good ol' Memento Mori

youtube or netflix? Youtube

[REDACTED] 👍

when do you feel accomplished? God has cursed me for my hubris, and my work is never finished.

star wars or star trek? Horny Space Fleet

paperback books or hardcover books? hardcover, I'm too clumsy for paperbacks

to live in a world without literature or without music? You cannot meaningfully separate one from the other

who was the last person to make you laugh? Probably the dingus who tagged me

city or countryside? city

favorite chips? Those corn based chrupki that come in bags the size of a small child

pants or dresses? Pants

libraries or museums? Libraries

character driven stories or plot driven stories? Character driven

bookmarks or folding pages? Bookmarks

Dream job? They should pay me for being a special little boy, so ig Court Jester

What gives you comfort? Art, friends, pillows to hug

what are some of your favorite song lyrics? My theology/ I like to know that he's watching me/ Fulfill me up like a prophecy/ put the fear of God in me ; Sodom & Gomorrah by Dorian Electra my beloved

favorite ice cream flavor ever? Can't go wrong with mango

first fandom?

tagging others, add your own new question at the end if you follow up:

@vikugnavikugna @vzajemnik @nectadraws @sephinot @immortalsapphics @randomarcher2013 @asphyxi-art

[seraphemin]

wish I were (pt2)

 harry acts like everything is good and dandy but reader sees Heather wearing the sweater

part 1 here

‘heather’ by conan gray WARNINGS - ANGST WORD COUNT - 1,892

A/N: hehe because it was december 3rd, I just had to get this chapter done to post even if it might be a little late but here ya go 

____________________________________________________________

      My guitar rested on my thigh as i brought my head down to lay on the fret, staring at the blank piece of lined paper in front of me. I sighed, turning my head away and just bathed in the silence of the separate room from the main studio. The weight on my chest might of suggested the frustration out of my creative block, unable to produce words or lyrics for the past weeks. Or that I was progressively losing the will to even pick up an instrument, as strumming the strings took a lot of energy for me to do. 

The oversized hoodie I brought kept me warm, but i knew that wasn't satisfying enough. However the idea of wearing one of his hoodies I've place in a closed box in the corner of my apartment hurt too much and that now I'm back in the studio after weeks of trying to avoid coming here at all costs. After the New Year's party, I've done nothing but wallow up in my apartment alone, trying to come up with songs as quickly as possible just so I could get this project done and over with. That proved to be difficult however, especially with Harry trying to call on a normal basis.

  "Helllooo bubs, why haven't you been showing up at the studio eh?" "You said at the beginning of this project that I could work at home whenever I want. I'm just taking you up on that offer." "Of course, you'd remember me sayin' that. How've you been love, haven't seen you in a while though." "Fine, just been doing my job." "Well yeah, can't write all these lovely songs without your talent, can I? You gonna come in tomorrow then?" 

I hesitated for a second, biting my tongue when I felt my eyes pool up again. "I'll just send a pdf of lyrics to you Harry." "O-oh. Well that would conventionally work... yes but you have to come in tomorrow though." "Why? Just text me what you like and don't like about the verses and I'll fix them." "Bubs you know how I feel about in person collaboration. Plus the deadlines are coming up and it'll be easier and faster to have you in the studio." "Okay." He hesitates this time and I could see his brows furrowed together as well as having a hand on his hip. Most likely wearing lose sweats and the knitted cardigan he's been falling in love with over the months. His hair a bit longer than it was last time I saw him and his pink lips quirked to the side in thought. Maybe the bags under his eyes are gone, has been looking more happier lately. More happier than I could of made him to be over the months. "Are you okay?" "I have to go Harry, I'll see you tomorrow." "Oh see yo-"

      He was the first one to greet me when I arrived, and I wanted nothing more than to burst out sobbing when I see his smile. It took everything not to do so, giving him a tight lip smile and quick side hug before sitting down farthest away from him. For the first hour and a half of discussion, I didn't say much and zoned off a lot, tuning in and out of the conversation Harry leaded about a song he had written recently. I felt his glances on me when I turned away, probably sensing my unwillingness to comment so he was considerate enough to not put me under the spotlight in the discussion. In the middle of it, Harry's phone started ringing and he didn't waste a second to excuse himself to answer it. "Hello? Oh hey darling, you almost here?" I froze when he grows a cheesy smile on his face as he walks further to the other side of the studio before telling us to continue without him. I took a deep breathe, not mentally prepared to be in the same room as her. Has she always been coming to the studio or did I just choose to worse day to finally come in? I try to focus doodling in my little notebook, but it grew harder and harder to focus on anything else but the way he crosses his arms and laughs while on the phone with her. From the corner of my eye, it was definite he's completely captivated just hearing her voice and I could just picture the angelic tone of it. I didn't realize I was tapping my pencil till I hear Sarah calling out my name, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Are you okay, haven't seen you in a while." I nodded, putting on a smile. "Yeah sorry, been getting a lot of work opportunities and just a bunch of family stuff that's exhausted me." Sarah gives me a look that resembles one of a mother who knows their child isn't telling the full truth, but she nods and pats my hand. "Completely understandable. But that's exciting, new artists been reaching out to you n' all that?" "Ha surprisingly, considering saying yes to all of them." my smile was growing genuine a little, thinking about how content I was with my career. Being a lyricist and songwriter was a definite risky path to take in terms of stability, but it made me happier knowing I was able to to do. "Oh of course, you can totally do it. Probably wanted to see what all the hype was about when Harry couldn't stop talking about you at every social gathering he's been at." Sarah chuckles, rolling her eyes playfully. "Yeah?" I quickly looked down, feeling my eyes water as the pang in my chest came back. "Mhmm, acts like Thomas and Mitch don't even exist." I laugh lightly at that, fiddling with my fingers as I focused down on my notebook. I found myself in an awkward situation, not knowing how to continue the conversation but knowing I didn't want to try. I love Sarah, but I was close to break down right there if I tried and it was not the place to do so. Not when everyone is trying to meet deadlines and Harry was about to walk in with Heather at any moment. "Hey, I actually have a lot of emails to respond to so I'm gonna be in the other room." I stood up, taking a guitar and my notebook. "Might actually be better for me to focus in." "Sure, we'll let Harry know." I gave her a grateful smile, walking out into the hallway to a different room. I let out another shaky breath, feeling overwhelmed once I was finally alone. But before I could close the door, I hear her. I peak out to see both her and Harry standing at the entrance of the building, huddled close together. "Sorry I forget it gets this cold in LA sometimes." She says, looking up at him while he rubs the sleeves of his sweater that was wrapped perfectly around her. It was a simple orange stripped sweater. A vintage that Harry bought in Vienna and became one of his favorites. It was just a simple polyester sweater, but it became my favorite too. So it was hard to give it back after wearing it that night we kissed, but fuck was it harder to see her wearing it. Now as I sit alone with no sense of motivation to do anything else but wallow in my own pity I thought about a lot of things. I should be angry, be fuming and cursing at Harry for how he's been acting. I should confront him, make him feel as hurt as he made me for choosing her. Or maybe I should hate Heather, despise her for taking the chance I had with him. But deep down I know I couldn't hate Heather. She's such an angel, it wasn't her fault he's still hung up on her. And as much as the image of his arm wrapped around her kills me, I couldn't hate him either for the same reason. She looked prettier in his sweater than I did. "You okay in here bubs?" As if the tears welling up in my eyes and heavy weight on my chest wasn't enough, the sound of knuckles against the door and his voice calling out my name made me almost sob. "Yeah, I'm good. Door's open." I quickly try to compose myself when he enters the room, giving me that warming smile of his. "Just wanted to check up on ya, been quiet since you got here." Harry looks at me with concerning eyes as he places a hand on my shoulder before crossing his arms and leaning against the wall in front of me. Keep your hand on my shoulder, the second it was there all the nerves went away. I wanted to say but instead I fake a smile again, waving it off and shrugging. "Oh no, just have a lot on my plate don't worry." He nods, feeling his eyes on me while I try to avoid his by opening my laptop and skimming through my inbox. "Sarah told me about different singers reaching out to you." He points at my laptop before taking a seat on the chair to the side. I nodded, humming while I typed out quick responses. "Yup, thanks by the way but now I gotta sort out a whole schedule for this year." I took a glance up to see him focused on my song journal on the table in front of us.

“So...you and Heather huh?” The sheepish smile he has tugs my heart strings but I tried to keep from fumbling with my fingers.

“Yeah uhh...” He scratches the back of his neck, keeping his eyes on his hands and looking like a young kid with a crush. “Started talking again and catching up, been working out stuff between us since the party.”

I tilt my head to the side, motioning him to continue. “She’s gorgeous...”

“She’s amazing.”

I finally looked away from him and onto my screen, letting out a little chuckle. 

“So you guys are back together?”

“No no, we’re just sort of figuring things out at the moment.” Though it was an answer I was hoping for, the look in his face was none the less comforting. 

“Well, hope everything goes great. You guys look perfect together.” I managed to say, going back to typing while he only responds with a nod and hum.

There was silence. Does he not feel it too? Uncomfortable silence was never a thing between us but it was prevalent here. "Not gonna leave early are you though?" He says out of no where and I stopped typing for a sec to give my attention to him. "Not going to ditch me for someone else of course." He says it with a laugh, playing it off like an obvious joke... but the way he looked at me. Part of me wanted to scream at how oblivious and selfish that statement sounded coming from him, as if he has no idea the drastic shift our relationship has taken. But I see the vulnerability in his eyes, sensing the subtext in his question that is practically asking me to stay. Stick by his side and help finish this passion project he's dedicated to put out, not only for his fans but for himself. Be with him to figure out what to do next, even if I would be in a different county or continent and working with someone else. Keep in touch throughout because I've become an important person in his life. Even if that person who used to fill that spot came back, he's still here and asking me to stay with him in a similar sense. It wasn't the kind of love I wanted, but never the less, it was still love from Harry. Did the smile I wear at that moment reach my eyes? When I placed my hand on top of his in reassurance, was the hesitance obvious? Maybe he did notice the little signs, but he took my hand in his anyways and placed it against his heart. 

"Of course, 'm always gonna here Harry."

____________________________________________________________

part 3

A/N: guys my heart hurts writing this lol. There’s gonna be one or two more parts of this series, but thank you for reading! feedback is appreciated :)

[serenadeonacanoe]

Honestly, I'd piss him off on purpose. (Namjoon x OFC)

Pairing: Namjoon x Original Female Character

Genre/Warnings: Smut, Angst, Fluff, too tired to beta

Tags: Artist!Namjoon, Yoongi and Tae are the best flatmates, Enemies to Lovers I guess... more like brats to making out in the storage unit, OFC is an idiot.

Summary:

"Wow. Is that that grumpy artist behind you? Jesus. He really looks like a bit of a dick. And you are right. He really is hot..." Oh no. Speakerphone. Namjoon was standing behind me and was staring at me. Then at my phone. He let out a little laugh, then raised his hand to wave at Tae and Yoongi outside who were now also staring at him as if frozen, before turning around in unison. As if that would help. As if he couldn't see them. Or better even... couldn't hear them.

[...]

Mister Darcy has nothing on Kim Namjoon - that new and upcoming artist you probably already heard of (You haven't? How dare you? At least have the decency to pretend you have!). He is cold, serious, and rather good at making other people believe he is a prick. Especially Elizabeth Bennet - uh... Charlotte - is about to lose it because of him. Maybe in a good way. Man, I'd literally piss him off on purpose.

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CHAPTER 1

Even the sound of my own nails rhythmically tapping on the top of the counter was annoying me. To be fair, it didn't need much today to blow my fuze that had never been particularly long in the first place. But after a week consisting of being belittled by old white men and endless hours of unpaid overtime I about had it. Welcome to the art world. You know well before you enter that the hours are horrible and the job market is more than frustrating, but you love art and you have good organisational skills, you are resilient, charming when it counts and tend to romanticize things even when you know you shouldn't. It's too late to turn around now.

"That is why I don't use an agenda or notebook. If something is important enough for me to attend I simply won't forget. I know you youngsters are all about the bullet journaling and expressing yourself by mapping out your life but it really is just another way to procrastinate instead of getting to actual work." For a second I considered throwing my damn notebook in the buyer's face, but that probably wouldn't have helped my CV and the new job I would have to look for starting tomorrow. At least I should have screamed at him a little. Mainly, that I didn't care, that I was on my period and my shitty shower in the shitty flat i shared had broken and no dry shampoo in the world had fixed my hair this morning and that god damn it, how the hell was I supposed to remember every phone number, every call my boss had to take, every art handling transport I had organized if I couldn't write it down somewhere. Instead, I smiled. Died a little on the inside and complimented him on the gift of his exceptional memory and asked whether he would like another cup of coffee.

"What a dick." Samantha murmured, more to herself than me, after the guy had finally left, which made me snort under my breath. She usually didn't say much but when she did it was usually pure gold. In the end, it didn't matter that he was. Didn't matter that everyone at the gallery thought the art he had bought from us over the last couple of months had neither been smart nor impressive purchases. Mainly expensive. And flashy.

"Doesn't matter now." I said in a sigh after a quick glance at the clock. It was Friday night and we were about to close. Since it was my birthday on Monday I had taken two days off, about the longest break I had had this year and I was looking forward to being the lazy slob for a few days I was maybe always meant to be. In silence we answered a few last emails, tidied up the desks and counters so that potential buyers that would come in over the weekend wouldn't have to suspect anyone was actually working here. - A white desk. A huge Imac on it. That was all they needed to see, folders and pens and apparently especially agendas to be hidden away in drawers.

At five to eight I threw on my coat and Samantha just gave me a tired smile. Probably happy for me, just exhausted. "Have fun then? Don't get too wasted?" "Oh..." I said with a huge smug grin on my lips. "You have no idea... gonna take a bottle of Moët with me from the bar and drink it in my bathtub after eating a huge pepperoni pizza by myself and dancing to only the finest of 90s Euro Trash." I couldn't help it, apparently, I felt it necessary to give Sam a little demonstration, waving my arms up and down while swaying my hips in a way that I'd probably would not have if it hadn't been for a bit with an audience of a single person. Or maybe two?

A quiet scoff behind me and I quickly turned around, slowly lowering my arms, Sam biting her lower lip at the sight of me standing there like an idiot in front of HIM of all people.

Men didn't have to be old to annoy me. Or white. Yes, those were the ones that pissed me off most usually, but no one had managed to do so as much as Kim Namjoon recently. And now he was standing there, looking me up and down and stopping at my hair. The crazy too-much-dry-shampoo-because-the-shower-broke-hair. "Nice." He just commented and then looked over at Sam. "I'd like to take a last look before Sunday's opening if that is okay?" I stood there, my shoulders dropping, completely ignored.

"Uhm, actually, my babysitter has to leave in about an hour and I will have to be home before that." Samantha replied and I was impressed by how calm she stayed. "Of course." Namjoon said and gave her a slight smile. "Anyone else still around? Chris maybe?" Of course Chris hadn't been in today. It was Friday and unless important guests had announced themselves the owner of the gallery wasn't around on Fridays... "I am afraid not. But maybe Charlotte has a few minutes?" Well. Thanks. Thanks a lot. I felt a little betrayed. "Wouldn't want to keep anyone from their important Moët-Pizza-Dance Party plans." Namjoon replied before I could say a word. His voice once more dropping to a hushed, deep disapproval and his hands buried in the pockets of his rather expensive looking coat. Silence for a few moments and then he just walked off towards the room his exhibition had been set up all week. Showing without a further word that I would have to stay anyways if he wanted it that way.

"Well thank you for pushing me under the bus like that. Really appreciate it." "I am so sorry. But I was serious, I can't lose this babysitter. She got Jamie to eat vegetables. VEGETABLES!" Samantha suddenly seemed in a rush, grabbing her jacket and purse and showering me in promises she would make it up to me. Even though we both knew that wouldn't happen and wasn't necessary. Suddenly having to stay longer was normal. I just hated that it had to be today. And because of him.

I heard the door close behind Sam and I stood there for a second before putting my bag down again. Usually, I would have followed the artist, asking if I could somehow help, but nahhh... my ego was bruised up enough now, especially remembering the little dance. I closed my eyes. Fucking hated the guy. Always had. Well, not quite. I had thought he was cool for about five minutes when he had come in the first time. We had heard about him for quite a few months before, I think I had even seen pictures of him at some point, but those were nothing compared to him in real life. He came in all cheekbones and sharp chin and an all grey outfit, quick pace, observant gaze. Incredibly hot. He had also completely ignored me.

That's how it had started - a bruised ego. He couldn't know that it was my weak spot. Having studied art and its management and now feeling like a better secretary at times, when my colleagues and I were doing all the behind the scenes work while Chris worked very little hours and ended up with all the money and recognition. I was aware this wasn't the only field of work where this was the case, but it still frustrated me... I had imagined my life in the last years of my 20s to be a bit more glamorous than living in a tiny apartment on the outskirts of the city... spending my Friday night waiting for some rude artist dude to leave so I could lock up.

But what I perhaps hated most about him... was that I admired him. - Purely for his art. Really. Even the fact that he kept acting as if I wasn't around every time he came in didn't mean I couldn't admit that. At least to myself. The stories behind his huge colleagues were clever and thought through, but even without context, the pure aesthetics were mesmerizing. It was the kind of art that touched something deep inside of you and standing in front of it I always had a hundred questions. Whenever he brought in a new piece I was the first one to sneak a peek in the back rooms before it was hung.

"I don't get why you have such a problem with him. He is just... quiet. I think he might even be shy... stop being so sensitive and just ask him out already." I had almost strangled Sam for that comment a couple of weeks back. Stop being so sensitive. What did that even mean? Comments like that made me want to cry and scream at the same time, which probably would have been perceived as even more sensitive, but when had insensitivity become something to strive for? I had only kept quiet because I liked Sam and I knew what she had tried to say. At least I thought so. That I might have given less of a shit if I hadn't been rather attracted to Namjoon. Even though I had never mentioned it, she just knew. She knew if I didn't care about something I didn't waste my time on it. But if something made me angry or upset there was usually more to it. I hated that she could read me that easily. But he was still a dick and I still wanted to go home.

He took his sweet time. After an hour I walked up to him, a little speech prepared in my head about how he could come back first thing tomorrow. But when he turned around he just raised a hand between us to keep me from interrupting and turned away again. I hadn't seen that he was on the phone. "No, it's nothing, just one of the gallery employees." I heard him say and okay... if I wasn't about to explode before I was now. I stood there for a minute, fuming, and then simply walked back to the office area, my hand shaking when I started turning off the gallery lights one by one. It wasn't as satisfying as I had hoped but still felt good. Two minutes later the only lights still on were the one above my head and the one in front of the door. I would at least give him a clear direction where to head, he seemed to need it.

When Namjoon appeared out of one of the dark corners he looked even more annoyed than usual. Looking my direction through squinting eyes and his tongue pushing against the inside of his cheek. "Seriously?" he yelled my way and almost walked into one of the little flyer shelves. Wasn't the first time I had seen that happen to him though so maybe that had nothing to do with the light.

I felt oddly triumphant. By the time I had put on my coat and turned off the remaining lights, ready to finally lock up, Namjoon had almost found his way, standing in the open door, still on his phone. A little groan from my side when he didn't even notice that I was standing behind me went by unnoticed. Or simply ignored. But instead of the appropriate clearing of the throat or the maybe less polite squeezing past him, I just put my hands on his back and gently pushed him forward a bit, until his feet hit the pavement and he turned around. Dropping his hand with the phone in it, for a second he looked like he wanted to push back. Or trample me.

"Okay, what the hell is your problem, Charlotte?" His voice was hoarse. His eyes dark. God, he was hot. I hated him so much. "You." I simply replied and stared at him for a second, then turned around and locked the two locks on the door before stepping over to the alarm system. I couldn't help feeling smug because apparently, he knew my name. I imagined him staring at the back of my head because he was flustered, but couldn't be sure. All I knew was that when I turned around again a minute later he was still standing there, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his lips pressed together forming a straight line and watching me.

"Do you always act like that at work around people who could get you into trouble?" He was right, he could get me into trouble. But I was too fired up now, my heart racing. "Is that a threat?" "An observation." "Only around the ones I don't like." "Cool." "Great." "Enjoy the dance party. Sounds shit."

And with those words he had turned around, coat flying open in the wind, unfortunately making him look really cool as he walked away and I ABSOLUTELY HATED HIM. I kept my mouth shut and just walked off in the other direction, realizing minutes later that my car was parked the other way, but I kept walking for a while before I finally turned around. It took a while to calm down and only cuddling up to my cat on the couch to trash tv finally did the job. But by then I had realized something I wasn't sure I liked too much. Yeah, I thought he was a prick. And yeah I should have just played it cool. Would have been much smarted in many regards. But I also had somewhat enjoyed myself in the most fucked up way.

Seeing that stern look, that intense posture as he was towering over me... man, I'd literally piss him off on purpose.

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