#and also the hole. but even the hole kind of got made about grian too

[bipbopdepmop]

something something these guys are almost always used as just a sidepiece to grian

[blueishjellyfish]

How BigB would work in different alliances?

There was a poll someone made a week ago, which inspired this post. The poll was about who you would think would be the funniest team up for BigB. I don't remember what I answered, but these are my thoughts on how well he would've fit in in each team. I especially talk about his dynamics with individual people here.

Also sorry for any mistakes, I've written this as it came into my head so some points might not be clear, so sorry. Also, comment down your opinions about these dynamics I would love to hear them :).

!SPOILERS FOR WILD LIFE AHEAD!

The Bamboozlers

Jimmy- he has an amazing dynamic with Jimmy already, I mean that scene in 3rd life where Scott and I think Martyn? was 3rd wheeling their little inside jokes, their dynamic is underrated for real. They seem to be great friends irl and BigB seems very comfortable around him, and Jimmy also contributed heavily to the whole hole thing happening in Secret Life ("BigB that hole changed you!")

Lizzie- he's teamed with Lizzie before and honestly I loved their dynamic too- that scene with them at the fairy fort with Cleo, *chef's kiss*, and then Lizzie killing him with fireworks, claiming he was the start of her downfall, which in some ways he truly was, amazing. They're so silly together.

Scar- Scar who he hasn't teamed with but I would really like to see more of their dynamic. BigB oftentimes plays well into Scar's scams especially at beginning of the series, in 3rd life he was probs the only one to acquire and use the no kill pass, also Grian and Scar said multiple times that they don't want to kill him. In Last Life I think Scar managed to scam him out of a few diamonds by claiming to be the bogeyman which I don't think BigB truly thought but I think he likes playing into these little bits. Also he always has a 100/100 on Scar's reputation board, so he's doing something right lol. Would love to explore more of their dynamic as well.

Redwood mound

Ren- don't feel like I need to put anything down for this one, I mean he's teamed with Ren almost every single life series (that Ren's been in). Box boys all the way. I feel like BigB is used to the dramatics, and !SPOILERS! in the recent episode they even agreed to be the Kings of the Corners, so honestly they might've allied up again, but we'll see how it goes. However, considering the dramas of Double Life (when they last teamed up*) I mean the Secret Soulmates, and the whole fight at Scott's farm, although it got offset really by the fact they were both red ig. Also, BigB has made a few remarks during the therapy session on how he felt that Ren was looking/hanging out with too much like Martyn, so that's something. Overall, though they would make a great team imo. Hopefully this allyship they have in ep2 lasts.

*some might say that on a technicality they also teamed on SL, since Ren possessed Tango's body for an episode, and BigB was teamed with Tango at the time.

Martyn- Blue Sword Boy, and if I'm not mistaken the first recruit to the dogwarts army. They have some good bits together, especially with Martyn scaring him in SL (which was very funny), or going through BigB's backrooms with Jimmy trying to find him. So far though I don't think they talked a lot in Wild Life, but they were both in Evo together so extra points. Plus I love the lore Martyn sort of gave him/talked about.

The Spanners

Grian- ain't it obvious? Secret Soulmates anyone? Truly love their dynamic, similar to Jimmy they seem like good friends irl. Also he was the og gaslighting victim of BigB. That 'hole' (haha get it, like whole but hole? ok I'll leave) interaction changed the trajectory of human kind, or well the life series ig. I saw many ppl wanted a day 1 alliance for them which unfortunately didn't come to fruition (there's always another time), but they have a good dynamic for a great team, can't wait to see more of their interactions :D

Skizz- he's teamed with Skizz in the last season. I love how Skizz calls/called him BigPoppa (did I spell that right?) (edit: it's spelt BigBopper, thank you crystaleevee4 for the correction!). He felt a bit like a third wheel, but Skizz and Tango did a good job to include him in their shenanigans. Also we see time and time again on how BigB likes to stay by himself (I might talk more about that in another post ;p), so I think this dynamic suited them well. I think they worked very well together, and Skizz actually defending BigB from getting killed by Jimmy when BigB had to betray him was wholesome. Speaking of which, BigB having to betray Skizz cause of the task was brutal, imo f it wasn't his task he wouldn't have done it and he seemed very apprehensive about doing it, which probs stems from betraying Cleo and not being able to live it down (until now of course). So the fact that Skizz didn't turn on him and mark him as a traitor was a nice moment in my eyes.

Mumbo- I'm basing these off the top of my head and I don't think him and Mumbo interacted a lot before. !SPOILER! I'm pretty sure BigB jump scared him with his creaking in ep2 which was fun. I think it would be an interesting dynamic, they both are very silly, however with the paranoia infiltrating Mumbo this season I think he would trust BigB less than Grian, with BigBs more cryptic nature and such, but I do think it would be very fun to witness.

Tuff Guys

Etho- Anybody else still stuck in that moment in 3rd life where Etho and BigB got left alone and were riding in boats talking? No just me? OK, well what can I say, I think it's my most favourite underrated dynamic. They're both quite antisocial but in different ways. Etho likes to stay with his comfort ppl, ppl he knows well. Wheras, BigB tends to start basing alone, and then gest adopted by other ppl. That moment when BigB jump sacred Etho was everything to me, not to metnion Etho's reaction was quite funny. I think their humour goes well together, and what can I say, they would make the best cryptic duo lol.

BDubs- !Spoilers! "Did you just call me Bdubs?"- BigB ep2. Out of everyone, I personally feel like they are in opposite worlds to each other. Aside from Bdubs killing him in 3rd Life and BigB killing Bdubs with Ren in Double Life, I'm not sure I remember any particular moments between them, although it might just be my memory. I'm unsure if they would do great in a team but I don't think BDubs would particularly trust BigBs cryptic nature (I use the word cryptic a lot don't I?) I think BigB might push the line on Bdub's trust issues too much.

Tango- teamed before in SL, and 3rd life. I think they are nice and familiar with each other and would work well as a team. The more I think about it even as a duo they might be more interesting. I think B would calm Tango down and they would get into silly little shenanigans together, and near the end of a series Tango would push BigB to be more explosive and dangerous (BigB would probs go along with the plan, but when it goes AWOL, he'll probs try to abort it.)

The Family

Gem- Gem has only been in SL before, so it's hard to pinpoint what they're dynamic would be. Gem is very nice and would protect BigB well, and BigB would respond with his kind nature back and they would be quite a nice team. At least at the start, when the bloodshed starts I don't think BigB would be able to control Gem's bloodlust.

Joel- I don't think they've interacted a lot in the life series or at least there haven't been many significant moments that I could think of at least. They would get along great, and I can imagine Joel leading BigB into battle, but I don't think BigB can handle Joel's explosiveness for long-term.

Finally the GGGGs

Cleo- !Spoilers! OMG the lore! the way Cleo has finally forgiven him after what like 4 seasons? truly love it. During Last Life when they were still allies they seemed like a good duo. They cared about each other and Cleo tended to trust him more over the other fairy fort members imo. She was kind and loyal like she usually is with her day 1 allies, which I think is what made the betrayal worse. Throughout the 4 seasons BigB really seemed sorry about what he's done, and usually backed away at the mention of it and now that all is forgiven I'm sure he won't make the same mistake again (unless he wants another 4 seasons of anger from Cleo). I think in this new alliance he will try to atone for everything and I think even if it came down to him and Cleo at the end he wouldn't even consider killing them and would sacrifice himself. Cleo also seems to be the first one to realise that BigB is alone, and might need some friends. I mean if they decided to still stay upset, B would probs still be alone as no other team has really reached out an invitation to him (aside from the thing with Ren).

Pearl- NOSY NEIGHBOURS! Do you guys even have a clue on how much I loved nosy neighbours? Obviously not since this is like my 5th post on this website, but they truly are everything to me. The always watching bit which made everyone go nuts on the Watcher implications. The way that Pearl was alone all last season, rejected by her soulmate and finally found and established a healthy friendship with someone. The way Pearl wanted BigB to win, but he died before her, so tragic and I love it. And Pearl was everything BigB needed as well, someone to be his day 1 alliance. I could talk for hours about them but I won't. But I love their dynamic, hopefully we'll see more of it :3 (Also there was literally a mention of nosy neighbours in ep2, and I'm so happy!) (What if I said I made this whole post just to talk about it? lol)

Scott- BigB hasn't teamed with Scott before, but they seem to be on good terms. Especially from what I've seen in the current episode, Scott is good at including BigB into the conversation. And from what I've noticed Scott's also good at hearing people even if they're quiet, in a conversation in a group of people, which I think goes well with how BigB often is. Besides the way they were called brothers by Cleo I think in ep2 cause of the creaking they have incorporated into their skins was great. Some ppl were saying Scott is like BigB's creaking heart, and let me tell you guys I'm on board. Because of this I think they would be a great duo and I would love to explore their dynamic more.

Impulse- Silly silly bois. If they ever got separated from the other Gs they would probs go on a mission and fall into a water hole they wouldn't be able to get out of. That's all I can imagine when I think about them. Them ending up going on a somewhat serious mission and in the midst of it ending up in a silly situation that would def kill the previously serious mood of a spy mission.

Overall, I think from ep1 I knew he would likely team with the 4Gs. I don't say this in a negative light whatsoever, but considering the fact that BigB wasn't willing to move his base this time (like he has done quite a few times before, RIP BigBs abandoned started bases lol) and the proximity he had to the group it was pretty obvious but still fun. Can't wait to see what shenanigans (I've used this word too much too right?) they get into and how the season goes. Dynamics and teams can still change, I mean there might be another them vs us like there was in 3rd life with Dogwarts and everyone else basically. Anyways I can't wait to see what this season brings! :D

Sorry for the long read, but honestly I quite like doing these analyses, so there might be more coming soon. p

Lastly, I would like to state, these assumptions about dynamics are based on my personal opinion. This opinion is derived from the content that the creators put out and will likely not reflect their true dynamics as friends. I might be wrong, or have overlooked some key points. Also my memory of events happening in the life series are quite foggy, I might be wrong on some points. I did this for fun and again this is entirely based on my own assumptions, which are subject to change. :3

[seralyra]

Fic idea I had at the start of Secret Life that didn't age well:

Grian joined the Watchers after leaving Evo for a time as a way to de-stress. Watching is much less hard work than creating, after all. But his urge to be active, play and meddle in a much more direct way brought him back to being a Player.

Or at least part time Player. He still has his Eyes everywhere. He wants to see what his friends are up to when he's not with them, after all. Nosy boy that he is. He tends to come "home" to watch every now and again, catching up with the other Watchers.

The Watchers love watching him in turn, especially the little death games he's hosting every now and again. But just watching... well if you're invested in a show as much as the Watchers have been, someday just watching just isn't enough. Also Grian has been a bad influence on them.

Grian isn't all too sure he should allow a bunch of otherworldly beings to directly interfere with his games. He knows exactly how well that had worked on Evo. Although back there he hadn't been one of them and he hadn't been the one to host the games.

But whenever he comes to visit his weird family to watch and relax, they keep pestering him. And eventually his resolve crumbles.

The Secret Keeper is his solution to keep his Players safe from the Watchers more... aggressive... playstyle. Through the Secret Keeper they can affect the game without breaking it. And Grian, being the admin, can do damage control by bending the rules to fit everyones best interest.

What he didn't account for was the Watchers ulterior motives. They'd seen Scar and Grian dance around each other in circles for too long at this point. And they were determined to do something about it.

First point of the agenda: Get BigB out of the picture and make him dig a hole.

Second point... okay they got a bit distracted with the whole Mumbo and Grian dynamic. Those two were just the funniest people together, who could blame them?

Third... profits? They were still working it out. But they would get there. If Grian liked it or not.

On a more meta note and to explain my made up concept:

I always liked the interpretation of the Watchers as a representation for the audience. We meddle. We can be kind and cruel. Some of us are the ultimate backseat gamers. But most importantly: We are fluid.

A lot of the audience doesn't just watch. We also create and play. We switch roles. Sometimes we are Watchers. Other times we are Players.

We can't enter all the universes directly, of course. The Hermitcraft servers. The Traffic Life servers. Those are glass bubbles for us to look into and yell at. But even if we can't enter them we can usually affect them from the outside.

The Secret Keeper is our way of getting into the Life Series this season. Grian explicitly told us to come up with tasks, making us the Watchers.

And thus the Watchers in this take aren't (always) cruel and don't force Grian to just watch. They can be forceful and demanding, but in the end, they are fond of Grian and don't want to actively harm him.

It's more of the other way around! Grian is different from them in the sense that he was a Player first and a Watcher second. And he's been slowly showing them the joy of creating on their own. They've dabbled in meddling, of course. But they usually were very passive when they weren't busy keeping worlds running.

But now? Now they really wanna play, too.

[stupidsketchpad]

hey guys. im here to rant about how 2econd 2ight 2eer (second sight seer) by will wood is secret life bigb's song because god its eerie how similar the song lyrics are to his character. AHEM (also spoilers for secret life)

My grip on my secrets slipping while I'm speaking in tongues

ok. this is a really good start lol. basically bigb's task don't mean much when he does weird shit anyway for fun and, quote from grian, "writes his own tasks"

Screaming at the top of my lungs in the confession booth

he's saying stuff that litterally makes no sense. even after his task is done he wont tell anyone (confession booth is kinda like people asking about your task after it's done. your confessing your task to someone)

Take it with a pillar of salt, H.A.L.T., it's not my fault

i got nothing man

The devil made me do it, but I also kinda wanted to

THIS LINE AHSHDHSHAH. THE SECRET KEEPER GIVES HIM THE TASKS CAUSE HE HAS TO BUT HE WANTS TO DO THEM ANYWAY ANDDDD MAKE THEM AS CONFUSING AS POSSIBLE. SECRET KEEPER COUNTS AS THE DEVIL HERE

I'm cut from a different kind of meat

More than you can chew, hard to swallow me

"what the hell are you doing??" is a common question he gets asked. hard to swallow. y'know

Forget bored stiff, I got rigor mortis, call it morbid curiosity

How I cannot commit to reality, when my third eye's open and I like what I see

he's doing shit for the sake of doing shit.

Baby, I may be crazy but I didn't lose it, no I set it free

AAAAA THIS LINE TOOO!!! ok so he didn't just randomly start lying in secret life. it was weird before that too! i cant speak for double but LIMITED LIFE he was also confusing people about being the boogeyman. basically that one meme with the "guy weird about everything but its drowned out by how weird about everything the other people are"

I can't ignore what's under dance floorboards, the rhythm of my heart a dead-as-disco beat

But I still move my feet

To slip out of this groove, I'm free

dont got much here but i think this is just him having fun, yknow

Now to row, row, row my boat over the falls

And maybe wake up from but a dream, yeah

"but a dream" is the games. there are three rows in the line. lose your lives to get the game over with.

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I didn't lose it babe

There wasn't much to find

once again, this wasnt the first time he was being weird!!!

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I'm only passing through

say weird shit, refuse to elaborate, leave.

Oh, oh, o-o-oh

If you knew what I knew, if you saw what I see

You'd look through illusions, hallucinations, and lucid dream

And I know that meaning can be such a pretty thing to keep

But I got facts and I'm not afraid to use 'em, take the good with the bad, take off the back you make a new front

evo, anyone? anyway this man knows about watchers and doesnt care. he knows! he just doesn't give that any meaning.

Some days I'm glad that I am a madman and I'd rather be that than

An amicable animal, mild-mannered cannibal

red lives and how bigb doesn't have the same bloodlust as they do. this guy doesn't kill much, he's like the most passive on the server. /srs

But I'm more level-headed and clever than ever and I'm getting better one forever at a time

how many people guessed any of bigb's tasks? that's right, zero! (if i remember correctly.) he's getting better at the games (btw the games being referred to as "forevers" is just ahshahdghs)

And if sick is defined by what's different, well then pull the plug out and let me die

not much here

Vice-versa, vice versus virtue

Well who I am I choose through all the things I do

AAAAAAAA HE CHOOSES HOW HE IS PERCEIVED BY THE OTHERS BY SAYING HIS STUFF YA GET WHAT IM SAYING

And if it rhymes, it's true, but I hate poetry

contradicting himself. easy peasy analysis here folks.

Now with my moral compass pointing south, I'm going down

With no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no respect for reality

could say this is going red! but also. "going down?" LIKE A HOLE? HE MADE A HOLE?????

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I didn't lose it babe

There wasn't much to find

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I'm only passing through

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

I didn't lose it babe

There wasn't much to find

I'm just a psycho, babe

Come and go out my mind

same stuff

A tourist passing through

Well that was fun, goodbye

he died. but hey, he had fun!

anyways thats all thank you for listening to me ramble about songs and minecraft i WILL do this again. sorry if this is incoherent i wrote it at 10:00 pm.

psst... moot... @bigb-enthusiast... would you like this?

[13-rats-in-a-trenchcoat]

Traffic/Evo Watcher headcanon, don't mind me

Ok, so we've known awhile now that the next season of the Life series is going to be released soon, so naturally I've been re-watching the previous seasons and going over POVs I hadn't seen before. While going down this rabbit hole I came across a Martyn stream I missed where he was talking about the Watchers lore and how he and Grian worked on it for Evo and then he kind of altered it from what Grian originally imagined (i.e. the Watchers being representative of us, the audience, who watch them for entertainment) to the more sinister lore we Traffic connoisseurs are familiar with today. This got me thinking. A lot. Too much even. What if we, the audience, were STILL the Watchers? I'm not talking about for the Life series or Evo series specifically, I'm thinking more broad spectrum, like across the MCYT multiverse type thing. I like a cohesive story, and I like puzzles, and when there are stories that look like they could be pieces of a bigger puzzle I enjoy smooshing them together in one giant headcanon that more or less makes sense, so here we go.

The canon lore we have (as I understand it anyway) is as follows: the Watchers first made themselves known during Evo, where they messed with the Evolutionists as they went through each Minecraft update, ultimately separating them for the final dragon fight where Grian would leave Evo and become a Watcher himself. From there the Listeners (who I know diddly squat about) got involved and helped the Evolutionists escape the Evo server, thus getting them away from Watcher influence. Or so they hoped. The Watchers somehow regained power over the Players that were involved in Evo, along with some of their friends, and put them in what is essentially a never-ending loop of death games as punishment for their defiance. Grian didn't like how the Watchers operated, so he left them to join his friend in the death games. The Watchers feed off the Players' negative emotions, but leave their memories, thus enabling them to start fresh each season without holding on to previous grudges (though considering Impulse's thing with BDubs and the clock and Tango's rage that might not be entirely effective)

This is where my headcanon comes in. The Watchers are a group of people/sentient beings of some kind who feed off of the negative emotions of others and watch their misery and struggles for entertainment. They're a mischievous bunch, some might even say troll-like (of the internet variety, not like in fairy tales), and at least two of them enjoy speaking in rhyme, i.e. they're artistic and dramatic. Sound familiar? Because to me this description sounds very much like the wider MCYT fanbase, especially the fan artists/writers. I mean come on, when have we NOT jumped at the opportunity to turn a pretty normal moment into the angstiest piece of writing/art imaginable. Case in point, Mumbo and Grian at the ghast farm in Last Life. They were giggling through that whole interaction, yet I've watched SEVERAL angsty animatics about just that one scene and I've loved every second of it.

This next bit is likely a pretty big reach, but the thought popped into my head and wouldn't go away so I would just like to get it out there. Grian doesn't really interact with his comments on an individual basis, but he definitely has addressed the more negative ones, especially the ones that go after his friends when they're on an opposing side of whatever war he's started at that moment in time. This ties in pretty well with him not liking the way the Watchers operate in my opinion, and it also ties in with him leaving the Watchers to help his friends. Not necessarily directly, but more in the sense of the vibes matching up.

We currently don't know enough about the Watchers to definitively say how plausible this headcanon of mine is, like we don't know exactly how many Watchers there are, or how many Listeners there are, or what separates a Watcher from a Listener, or really any info about the Listeners in general. I do think it's a pretty fun headcanon though, and until it is directly contradicted this is how I will view the Watchers. Thank you for reading my essay.

[redorich]

to those who carried on

A fic for @petrichormeraki​ and their Hermit!Tommy AU.

-------

The hermits know Tommy as a quiet young man who is very sad and contemplative. The more time they spend with him (against his will, but they know he needs the company) the more they learn of the little details. His favorite block is cobblestone, he likes building towers, and apparently his favorite woman is the Queen. They don’t ask why he wears a smiley mask even though he never seems happy. They don’t ask why he hides important things in his ender chest. They don’t ask why he wears a shattered compass on a chain about his neck.

(Once, he died in lava and lost his absolute mind. He was so upset about the compass that he didn’t even mention the stack and a half of diamond ore he had on him. Xisuma ended up manually rolling back the server just so Tommy could have it back.)

As time goes on, the tremors in Tommy's hands grow lesser. His dull blond hair seems a bit brighter, his bruises fade quicker, he doesn’t look quite so skinny-- he spends his time serenely building, resource gathering instead of running and fighting. He has a sense of humor under all that trauma, which the hermits unfortunately find out after another massive-scale prank war thought to be instigated by Grian actually turns out to be Tommy's fault.

Tommy starts swearing more. Doc gets the stink eye from Stress for this, but Doc insists he’s never once sworn around the young man. (That’s an absolute lie, but it wasn’t anything Tommy hadn’t heard before. Tommy thinks Doc is remarkably unoriginal in his cursing. He does take note of the German ones, though.)

Inviting Tommy to PvP minigames can be touchy, they learn. He likes to fight, but he fights like an animal with nothing to lose. Grian once chanted, “It stays in the pit!” and everyone present had to spend the next five minutes wrangling Tommy’s soul back into his body from wherever it’d floated off to.

Tommy likes to glide with his elytra. He claims he’s never had one before, but he flies like such a natural that a few people have their doubts. On a dark desert night, with dark blue eyes watching the night sky, he confides to Cub that it reminds him of the way his dad used to fly. He hates rockets, though. He does not confide to Cub that it reminds him of what his brother did to his best friend. He says enough that Cub can guess, though.

Scar gets fed up with Tommy’s creeper holes and makes Tommy help him fix them. At first, Tommy has no clue why Scar is breaking out things like coarse dirt and birch leaves and making the ground all fancy, but he’s not afraid of a little hard work and Scar makes it fun. He learns a lot about terraforming that day, and awkwardly comes back a few days later asking if Scar needs any more help terraforming. Tommy still hasn’t built a real base, not by Hermitcraft standards, but the small hill he’s built his dirt hut near now has a very beautiful, if amateurish, waterfall. He doesn’t tell Scar about this, but Scar finds out anyway. Tommy wakes up one morning to find that someone has left a shulker box in his house. Instead of iron-gripped paranoia, he just feels wonder that someone would give him a gift-- to the hermits, a single shulker box is nothing. To Tommy, it’s everything.

The shulker box contains coarse dirt, birch leaves, and a silk touch shovel.

Tommy helps Xisuma mine a giant hole in the ground near bedrock, because he realizes that he’s never thanked the admin for getting him his compass back. Well, that and the fact that instamining with a haste two beacon and an efficiency five pickaxe is a novelty. Xisuma lets him keep the cobble, since everyone knows it’s Tommy’s favorite block, but also insists he keep some of the other blocks like andesite and diorite. He pats Tommy on the head and tells him to talk to Bdubs about building a house some time. Tommy nods. He's taken aback by how tall Xisuma is, completely contrasting his mild nature. He reminds Tommy of Wilbur, on one of his good days before... Before. Not Ghostbur, though-- the admin is much too alive.

Tommy waits too long, so eventually Bdubs comes to him. The man is silly and outrageous, playing everything for laughs and unexpectedly tender. Bdubs plays up how beautiful he thinks Tommy’s hideous dirt shack is, then offers to help him build a house that’s better. For Tommy, building a house means settling down, accepting that this is his home now. Bdubs doesn’t know this. Tommy builds cobblestone dicks while Bdubs tries to lecture him about depth and block variation. Nothing gets done and Bdubs feels like he might have failed, but come next week Bdubs is flying over the area and sees the dicks are gone; so is the dirt house. In its place is a spruce-and-cobble cottage nestled near the tiny waterfall. Off to the side, he’s made a cozy doghouse for his fox, Theo. Bdubs doesn’t know how close that fox came to being named Fundy.

He spars with False, and she very pointedly does not mention how his stances are uniquely suited to a piglin. There’s only one renowned fighter who’s a piglin, after all. It's Tommy’s story to tell, if he ever does, why he’s seen enough of the legendary Technoblade’s fights to pick up on his stances, yet he’s not experienced enough to know that they don’t suit him. Instead, False gives him different stances suited more for tall, skinny people like the two of them. She’s got blond hair and blue eyes just like him. (Not that she’d know. She’s never seen his eyes, hidden behind his mask as they are.) Every now and then, he imagines her as an older sister, and the one time he says so, she smiles. When Tommy’s at home, looking at his own distorted reflection in his waterfall (he’s improved it since he built it), he muses that their eyes aren’t the same, their hair colors are subtly off. It’s close enough, he thinks.

Stress dies from fall damage and Tommy goes out of his way to pick up her stuff, because the hermits do these things out of the kindness of their hearts. The thought never even crosses their minds to steal. It crosses his mind. He doesn’t do it. Stealing from Stress would be like stealing from Niki.

He shows up at Cleo’s base unannounced and demands to see the “cool shit”. He is appropriately enthused by the giant armor-stand-bugs. She tries teaching him her armor stand magic, but it doesn’t really sink in. It’s okay, she assures him, most people don’t have the knack for it. He does, however, learn that buttons make excellent decorations. He also learns how to braid hair, bribed by ice cream. He is terrible at it, to the point where Joe has to come by to help the two untangle her hair so Tommy can start again. Watching the two bicker over capitalism and six million armor stands and a whole host of other inside jokes he doesn’t get, he thinks he’s starting to understand what friendship is supposed to be like. Joe and Cleo don’t see him clutching his compass. He and Tubbo weren’t too far off from this, given their circumstances. Maybe...

Maybe Tubbo can be forgiven.

Tommy makes minigames of his own, ones that don’t just kill you and steal your stuff. He builds things that are pretty instead of just functional, brews potions with Stress and only calls them drugs once (again, upsetting her is like upsetting Niki. Best not done), and sets up chicken bombs above people’s bases instead of just lavacasting them. (As Grian saw the hundreds of chickens slowly raining down upon his mansion, he got such a peculiar look on his face that Tommy feared he’d fucked up. The shorter, stronger (much stronger oh god why is he so strong despite being so small) man nearly crushed Tommy’s lungs in a hug, proclaiming how proud he was of Tommy. Tommy was proud of himself for not accidentally murdering Grian out of reflex. Was this what healing was like?)

Yes. It is what healing is like. Tommy knows this because that wound gets ripped open again. Tango shows him how to build the most obnoxious redstone-powered noise machine the two can think of. Tango digs a small pit, and asks Tommy to throw down his axe. Suddenly, Tommy’s in Logstedshire again; it’s not Tango asking, it’s Dream. His hands don’t shake when he tosses his axe into the pit, followed by his sword and his armor. It isn't until he’s placed the TNT down that Tango grabs his wrist and asks him what he’s doing. Tommy’s eyes clear enough that he can see past the blond hair and freckles. Tango isn’t green, he’s red. He's shorter than Dream, and his worried eyes are unhidden. Tommy shudders, then tells Tango everything.

Tango has no pity for Tommy, just understanding and sympathy. He doesn’t push Tommy to talk about it, but when Tommy’s done telling his story, Impulse and Zedaph show up. They all pretend that Tommy’s voice isn’t hoarse, that they all didn’t conveniently happen to look away when Tommy took off his mask just long enough to wipe his eyes. The men bake a cake together, fool around with honey blocks, and don’t talk about it.

Tommy knows very little about redstone, considers himself more of a builder and a fighter than an engineer. Still, Mumbo’s living base is inspiring, and Tommy often hangs around the man’s industrial district just to watch Mumbo work. Mumbo knows that Tommy hasn’t purchased a day pass, but it’s nice having someone around to talk to while he works. It’s not like Tommy is stealing anything. (Tommy totally steals from Mumbo’s industrial district storage system. The man’s farms are so efficient that he doesn’t even notice, so Tommy assumes it’s fine. What Mumbo doesn’t know won’t hurt him.)

Lava still isn’t his favorite thing in the world. He stays far away from it, instead of imagining what it would be like to hurtle towards it. Ren doesn’t really notice this, but he does notice that Tommy doesn’t seem to like his mustafarian base. On a spur-of-the-moment whim, Ren whips up some absurd plotline in which he is a lone weary traveller seeking refuge at Tommy’s base from strange alien overlords. The two have fun together, and the young man cracks more absurd jokes about it than the hermits have ever seen him do. When Ren leaves a week later to return to his own base, Tommy keeps being absurd, if a bit more subdued without someone to play off of. He builds a shrine to the “prime log”, which grows more elaborate each day. Beef and xB pretend to be his acolytes, despite having no clue what a “twitch prime” is.

They can’t see his face, but the smile in his voice is a far cry from the despondency he once wore like a heavy cloak. He is so much more animated and alive, full of motivation. He builds an entire island in three days, and hand-delivers an invitation to each and every hermit for his beach party. Everyone shows up, even those with packed schedules (Iskall) and those with introverted tendencies (Etho). Tommy is nearly moved to tears when they show up in groups of twos and threes, as though he hadn’t expected anyone to come. There aren’t enough chairs for everyone, but there is more than enough cake to go around. Tango brings drinks, Impulse brings meat to barbecue, and Zedaph makes an elaborate jump-powered grill. Keralis brings way too much confetti and several handfuls of cheap, obnoxious party noisemakers. Stress brings Tommy a crown made out of alliums. It shines far less than his brother’s gold crown, and it’ll die in a few days, but he wears it all night and keeps it in his ender chest until it withers away.

He spends five days teaching himself to make flower crowns. Even his best attempt is awful, nowhere near as pretty as the crowns Stress makes, but when he gives it to her, she takes off the one she was wearing and wears his until it falls apart.

He dies fighting a creeper on Grian’s behalf, and doesn’t even panic, because he trusts that however many times he dies, no matter how stupid or ignominious or revolutionary or important, Xisuma will always let him respawn.

He spends a grand total of nine diamonds to buy a single plot of land in the shopping district. He builds a cute little bench facing the sunset, with warmly glowing street lights on either side and a small garden. At the end of the bench he places a jukebox, and buys every single disc that Beef’s music shop sells, including Pigstep. He sits on the bench while Mellohi plays and watches the tiny silhouettes of his friends flying in the evening sky. Tommy looks alone on that bench, even if he seems happy, so sometimes other people stop by to sit with him. Scar declares the bench area a public park, since everyone likes it so much, and refunds Tommy his nine diamonds straight from the throne.

[votederpycausemufins]

All my knowledge is of hermitcraft and the stuff people have written for the Hermit!Tommy Au but I kept having this idea and needed to write it. I also think i got a bit out of character halfway through because it was supposed to be short, but i vibed with it too much so now it’s long and maybe not 100% accurate but it’s still angst followed by fluff.

also @petrichormeraki wanted me to tag them when i posted this.

Tommy had been with the Hermits for a while now. He hadn’t really kept track of when he first arrived, but it had at least been a few months. Otherwise, time was a mess. The Hermits has all but legally adopted him and all the joy that came from them caring for him made time seem to fly by.

Doc was fun to be around because while Tommy was perfectly fine never going back to the SMP, the way the man acted gave Tommy a small bit of familiarity in a good way to his past life.

He likes hanging out with False, mainly for sparring. Never anything deadly, but even if there wasn’t a need for Tommy to constantly look over his shoulder, it was good to keep from getting too rusty.

He doesn’t really hang out with Zedaph as much as Zedaph hangs out with him. Normally the Hermit would come out of the blue with something new for Tommy to try. Flicking levers over and over for something that would normally be as simple as using a furnace just became fun for Tommy, especially if he had energy pent up.

Xisuma is someone Tommy doesn’t run into much, but the fact that he doesn’t is something Tommy finds comfort in. Even as the server admin, the man is very down to Earth. Nothing like Dream ever was.

And then there’s Grian. Tommy got along with all the Hermits fine and of course there were some he preferred over others, but Grian took the cake for him. When he first showed up, Grian was the one to give him a place to stay at his old hobbit hole. Professor Beaks had been left there and still used to the SMP and scared for his life, Tommy hid the pet bird as leverage for his own safety. When Grian found out, he mostly shrugged it off, but the tens of chickens in the hobbit hole the next day was proof of retaliation.

Tommy didn’t understand the underwhelming response at first, but responded in kind, using the eggs from the chickens Grian had left to egg the Hermit’s base. When the builder nearly broke the door to the hobbit hole, Tommy grabbed his axe, ready to fight for his life, but was taken aback by the cheerful look on Grian’s face.

After that, Grian had practically taken Tommy under his wing. He showed Tommy how to build more effectively with cobble, eventually managing to get the teen to have some variety. Grian also brought Tommy along on his various chaotic endeavors, leaving behind chickens, mycelium, and possibly some missing doors.

The two chaotic red wearing Brits got along so well that they sometimes spent entire weeks together. Because of that, Tommy was all too aware that the Hermits participated in MCC as well.

It made sense. A few of the Hermits vaguely recognised him when he showed up in Hermitcraft and a few of them looked familiar to Tommy. That had made him feel a little safer since now these people weren’t complete strangers, but it did complicate things. Every so often, the portal to MCC would open and the Hermits participating would go through. The closest Tommy would get to the portal was just before the Hermits left, occasionally giving a ‘Good luck Grine!’ or something similar to Grian as he went through. But after that Tommy stayed as far away as he could manage.

The portal there led to MCC. And from there, there was a portal that led to the SMP. If Tommy could get to Hermitcraft, others could too. And that idea was terrifying, no matter who it was. Dream was a worst case scenario, but even if it was Tubbo. Tubbo had exiled him, and even if they were still on good terms after that, Tommy could have visited at some other MCC, but he didn’t, and that idea likely wouldn’t go over well, especially since otherwise, people probably thought he was dead and Tommy didn’t care to correct them.

But compared to all those other times, today was very different. Today Tommy wasn’t at the sidelines to help send off the other Hermits, he was one of the ones being sent off. They had taken every precaution. Mumbo had rebuilt his Spookification chamber for Tommy with some alterations, specifically removing the firework method of alteration. The teen was also dressed for being on a team with Grian as the Cyan Creepers, so his familiar red and white shirt was missing. But under Tommy’s costume, he still kept the chain necklace holding his compass. He refused to part with it, though made sure he would be hard to access to keep from glancing, knowing at the championships, it wouldn’t be spinning wildly anymore.

With a comforting pat on the back from Grian, he and the other Hermits walked through the portal. The crowd of people that were on the side almost immediately overwhelmed Tommy, making him think that it was a bad idea all over again, but the sight of the two other team members for the Cyan Creepers reassured them, especially as they lined up for the cameras for some fun and silly times. Then once the games began, he was too focused on winning to think of much else.

Before long, the championships were over. They had come in fifth, which was a bit disappointing at first, but on the other hand, it was still pretty good and kept the spotlight off of him. When dodgebolt began, Tommy stood next to Grian, but with a crowd of people, a good game, and no perfect place to sit, the both of them wandered for a better vantage point.

At one point, Tommy managed to push his way right up to the edge of the viewing ledge. It was the perfect place for a while until the action moved, causing everyone to decide it was the perfect place. Enough people moved nearby that Tommy was worried about falling into the pit below, and he almost did before someone pulled him back.

Tommy was ready to thank whichever Hermit or even other player helped him but the words died in his throat when he faced the person who grabbed him. He knew that mask and neon green color. And there was no reason for him to help Tommy unless-

“I finally found you!” Dream spoke. He raised his voice to be heard over the crowd, but not too much to draw the attention of others. Tommy froze as he definitely heard the words. But there was no way for Dream to know, he didn’t look at all like normal.

“I-I’m sorry.” Tommy tried not to stutter, hoping just the situation of being grabbed would excuse it. “But I don’t think I’m who you’re looking for. I’m new here. Unless you’re greeting me for being new.” It was something he prepared before in his mind after Grian brought up the possibility, but it felt sloppy putting it to use.

“Oh don’t lie Tommy. I know it’s you. I guess you got lost, but it’s okay, you can come back now. I got rid of the exile for you. Aren’t you glad?”

Tommy was glad for the mask that covered Dream’s face. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see Dream’s actual expression. “How did you-” He started to speak, but Dream cut him off, poking Tommy’s chest, right where the compass was.

“Weren’t you paying attention to the teams? Tubbo got put with me. And between games he just happened to glance at his own compass. And wouldn’t you know it, it led me right here.” Dream held up the compass that belonged to Tubbo. It looked damaged, and it was recent. Tubbo likely didn’t want to give the tyrant admin the compass, but lost it to Dream anyway.

“Give that back to Tubbo!” Tommy shouted at Dream, trying to snatch it from him.

“Feisty now, aren’t you? We can take care of that when you come back. I’ll also give it back to him if you come with me.”

Tommy froze. There was no way he was going back, but what could he do? Everyone was focused on dodgebolt, and he didn’t want his appearance to have caused more trouble for Tubbo.

Tommy glanced at the crowd one last time before reluctantly nodding. Dream grabbed his hand in a painful clench and dragged him out of the crowd towards the SMP’s portal to leave. However, just before reaching it, Dream stopped. Tommy, who had been looking back at the crowd, hoping someone would see what was going on, turned towards the portal to see Grian standing in front of it.

“Heya, where do you think you’re going. MCC isn’t over yet. Dodgebolt it still going on.”

Tommy expected Dream to just push past Grian or even give some sort of retort, but the actual reply was shocking. “Uh, n-no, just… have to head back early. Th-the game delays made things run over. A-and we’ve got to get b-back for… something else. Don’t w-want to be late for that.”

Dream’s words made Tommy so shocked he forgot to breathe. Dream was scared, no he was terrified. And he was terrified… of Grian. Tommy looked back at the Hermit who stood unflinching in front of them.

“Really? I could have sworn that you were here when I arrived, and that kid wasn’t. And he definitely came from a different portal. I know since I was keeping my eye out for my teammates. So why’s he going with you?”

“I uh…” Dream struggled, struggled, to give an answer, letting Grian continue. “That’s what I thought. C’mon kid, let’s go back to the crowd. You can stay with me until it’s over then I’ll help you find your portal back.”

And Grian took Tommy away without any retaliation from Dream. Tommy was left in awe. Grian wasn’t even an admin in Hermitcraft but Dream was terrified of him. It was amazing! But at the same time, it made Tommy spiral a bit.

When everyone returned, Grian had made sure Dream left before the Hermits and Tommy did so Dream couldn’t watch Tommy leave. Tommy stuck to False’s side as they walked through the portal, Grian being the last to come through as he continued to act as a guard. When he tried to comfort Tommy after his run-in with Dream, he understood when the teen responded he just wanted to go home. The championships were exhausting enough without a scare like that.

The next day, Tommy hung out with False. And then Zedaph, and then Doc. Grian noticed immediately, but didn’t pay much mind to it. He noticed since Tommy had spent a full week only hanging out with him, so the sudden absence of the boy was noticeable, but it made sense that he would want to hang out with the others.

After that, Grian didn’t pay too much attention to the lack of Tommy until he ran into him while stocking the barge. Tommy had been buying something at the store when Grian flew in. He nearly dropped his diamonds in trying to leave in such a hurry that it finally concerned Grian. The builder started visiting other Hermits Tommy tended to visit and ask about him. No one really noticed much other than Tommy dodging any questions about him possibly going to hang out with Grian.

Grian decided to leave it alone, and he was definitely going to, but after another run in with Tommy, he threw that decision out the window. Grian normally wouldn’t have done this, but after trying multiple times to just talk to Tommy and being unsuccessful, the builder had to essentially corner the teen.

Immediately, Grian regretted it. Tommy was trembling, obviously scared, holding a sword in his hand. He carefully tried to point out that Tommy didn’t need to have his sword out, but instead of just putting it away, Tommy just threw it on the ground, also throwing down his other gear. Grian had heard of Tommy doing this before with the other Hermits, so he immediately recognised what was going on and dived to grab the gear. It scared Tommy more, but Grian wanted to make sure nothing ended up destroyed.

“Tommy, calm down, I just want to talk. Did I do something wrong? I mean, obviously I must have, you look scared out of your mind every time I’m around you. But I can’t think or anything I did and I don’t want this to keep happening. So can I know what’s going on?”

Tommy didn’t speak for a while. He just looked defeated and terrified. Grian called in some of the other Hermits to come help Tommy calm down, though at first it didn’t help. But over time, Tommy finally did stop looking so terrified and they moved to somewhere he would feel less cornered. It took more coaxing after that, but finally, Tommy explained himself.

“He’s scared of you. Dream is… actually scared of you.”

“Yeah, I’ve killed him once or twice. Plus my full name is Lord Grian Dreamslayer, so it’s kind of in the name.” The builder tried to say it as a joke, but it didn’t seem to lighten the mood.”

“He’s the admin and he’s scared of you. And you… I’ve been hanging out with you.”

Grian nodded. “Well yeah, we do fit together well. ...Did he say something at MCC to make you think I didn’t like you?”

Tommy shook his head. “N-No. You’re right, you’re fun to be around. But dream likes… liked messing with me. And tried to train me. And I hang out with you more than I had with him, and I’m more like you. I-If you’re somehow more powerful than him-!” The rest of the words stopped in Tommy’s throat, choking him up. Stress was nearby and gave Tommy a careful hug for comfort, which helped him a little.

Grian waited a little bit for the tension to calm slightly before he spoke. “I don’t know exactly what Dream has done to you. You’ve told us a lot, but you obviously haven’t told us everything, and telling us isn’t the same as experiencing it. But let me tell you that I’m not going to do what he’s done to you. I remember how you were the first day we found you. And I see how you are now- well, how you were a few weeks ago- and I’m happy. Happy because you’ve been happy. You’ve been safe and cared for here and it shows. I don’t want to force you to be anything, I want you to be you. Sure, I’m powerful enough to kill Dream, but I’m not going to use that power on you. I’m only going to use it around you if it’s to keep him away from you.

“And! And! It’s just because of how your server is. Here we can go to the end. We don’t have a set amount of lives. We build massive structures and sell totems for a single diamond each. We fight Withers for fun and make farms with them. We farm just about anything you can think of. And Tommy.” Grian paused, making sure Tommy was paying attention. “You may be from somewhere far off that none of us old Hermits have seen, but now you’re here. And new home or not, that makes you a Hermit too. Sure you can be like me. Or you can be like False or Doc or Scar or Mumbo. But so far, you’ve been pretty you. And that you is a Hermit.”

Tommy took a few moments to process it, but the message seemed to get through to him. With that, Grian stood up with a smile. “Now I get that you probably don’t want to hang around me much right now. It makes sense. Maybe hang out with some other Hermits and learn some new stuff to get your mind off of things. Plus, I also did some talking around looking for you, and got you this.”

Tommy’s eyes practically sparkled as Grian placed down some music discs. He greedily grabbed the treasures and stuffed them in his inventory, looking up just to see Grian flying off. Taking on Grian’s idea, Tommy decided to go with Cleo and try to wrap his head around those armor stands again. While he wasn’t a pro, he did manage to make one scene of the hermits all holding weapons and surrounding an armor stand in lime leather armor. Grian was right. He was a Hermit. And he wasn’t going back. At least, not permanently, he thought, clutching his compass. Maybe, there would even be another Hermit like him.

[frombeyondtheblackhole]

Hermit DSMP Swap AU: Part 8.1

Over the course of the next couple of days Scar helped George and Skeppy get settled in. He introduced them to the other Boatem People. There was Pearl, who lived in the upside down boat house, Impulse, who Skeppy thought looked a lot like a buffer version of George, and Mumbo, who had an impressive mustache and lived in an RV pulling a tiny house. 

Scar helped George build a mushroom house in the space between Pearl and Impulse's houses, while Skeppy very quickly got involved in helping Pearl prank everyone on the server by tipping their cows (and every other animal for that matter) upside down. She had to convince Skeppy not to tip anyone's named pets though. 

The Boatem hole was opened up to the void. Now that Skeppy could get a good look at it, it kind of terrified him. The never ending darkness. George tried to push Skeppy in, which led to Skeppy chasing George around with a diamond sword for a good ten minutes. Scar fell in several times. He seemed fine, though that could be debatable. Falling in the void had to have some kind of consequences, didn’t it?

Scar got a new, bigger, better hat. Skeppy tried stealing it, trading it back and forth with George as Scar chased them around Boatem begging for them to slow down. Pearl even showed up and joined in the hat trading, but then she made them give it back. There was something under her chipper mannerisms that neither of them wanted to cross. She was nice, but Tubbo was nice, he had nukes, Foolish was nice, he controlled lightning, Puffy was nice, she killed Ant. In their experience, nice meant dangerous. 

Grian got bored just sitting around all day and was soon back to his usual pranks. He summoned a giant tree golem with Pearl’s help that tried to eat Mumbo’s van till Mumbo talked to her and calmed her down. His peace, love and plants thing really did come in handy sometimes. Mambo found out that her name was Treesa. Now she just sat watching over Mumbo’s house and humming to herself with the sound of rustling leaves and groaning wood. Sometimes Mumbo could be seen sitting on her shoulder talking to her as she listened, her eye’s closed and her branches swaying in the breeze as she soaked in the sun.     

Impulse opened up a shop called I-Soar selling elytra and rockets. Skeppy and George were fascinated by them and when no one was looking they stole some elytra to give them a test run. Skeppy immediately flew into a wall and died, while George fared a little better but died when he tried to land. Everyone's inboxes were buzzing with notifications as a string of death messages appeared in the chat. It didn’t take long for Scar and Impulse to find the two culprits. Skeppy tried to jump off the roof he was standing on and fly away, but he timed it wrong and landed with a splat, his items going everywhere. George started running, he was on the ground and unable to get any air.

Impulse was easily able to catch up to him with his own elytra. When Skeppy returned for his stuff Scar and Impulse admonished them for stealing. Then they gave them some flying lessons, showing them how to use the rockets to give them a boost and how to land without taking damage. They were only fifty percent successful. Though, when they were done they made them return the Elytra. To be honest, Skeppy and George were both quite done with the whole affair and glad to be back on the ground. The novelty had worn off a while ago and Skeppy and George were tired of constantly dying to fall damage. 

Grian designed a game of hide and seek that involved the Dragon egg, while George and Skeppy secretly plotted to steal it when no one was looking. 

Skeppy also finally decided to build a base for himself. He collected a ton of diamonds. Some of them came from his enderchest (Which he seemed to still be able to access). A bunch of them he got from taking a page from Scar’s book and going door to door, selling the Hermits random junk. He may have also taken all the diamonds from the center of the diamond ore tower outside Cub’s base. They were just sitting there in the open, practically asking to be taken. Using these diamonds Skeppy made a diamond block box house (When he ran out of diamonds he used dirt) in the middle of the town center next to the Boatem pole. 

The look on Grian’s face when he saw it was totally worth all that work to get the diamonds. Grian practically begged him to take it down or move it. He even tried bribing him with more diamonds but Skeppy insisted that it was the most beautiful house in existence and he was going to live there forever. He even threatened to move it onto Grian’s front lawn. 

This place wasn’t that bad, Skeppy was actually enjoying himself here.   

---

Skeppy was nowhere to be found. Bad had searched through their mansion, and at the locations of their various projects, he even looked around the Greater Dream SMP, calling Skeppy’s name the entire time. The Diamond was gone. 

This wasn’t the first time Skeppy had gone off on his own for weeks to sulk, only to come back a month later as if nothing happened. But usually he would at least make a big huff about how he was leaving and never coming back and how Bad was a bad friend. This time there was none of that. He had just left. 

Bad felt a tightness in his chest as tears pricked at his eyes. Was he really that bad of a friend? What had he even done to make Skeppy run off without even saying anything? They had already made up after the whole egg debacle. 

Bad shook his head “No, I’m a good friend. I’m the best friend. He’ll be back any day now, he’s probably just running errands or something,” Bad tried to convince himself... now that he thought about it he didn’t know where Skeppy went off to whenever he ran off. 

Without even realizing it Bad found himself standing near the entrance to the spider spawner... the entrance to the Egg’s domain. He stopped. He had been free of the Egg’s influence for several months now. But the egg might know how to find Skeppy. The Egg could find Skeppy. No. Bad tore his eyes away, shaking his head and walking briskly down the path in the other direction. He had tried that before, it hadn’t ended well for him.  

Bad felt a pit in his stomach. He genuinely regretted the things he had done while under the Egg’s influence. But the Egg could give him what he wanted. No. it never actually gave him what he really wanted, he knew that now. He knew that then too, he just hadn’t wanted to believe it... He didn’t need the Egg... but... it would be there. As a last resort. If all else failed.

[Notes: This one was inspired by another comment by @the-local-scp, Thanks again. I wasn’t originally planning on writing Bad’s perspective for a while. Skeppy runs off all the time. But then I thought about it and it makes sense that he would notice. He always notices, and this time he has no idea why Skeppy left. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed. This is the end of my pre-written stuff. The next one is probably going to be a bit of a long one so it may take a while before it gets posted, or I may break it up into smaller chunks... we’ll see]

[hermitblurbs]

Writer’s cut??? 👀 I for one would adore a writer’s cut of your latest blurb, or literally anything you’ve written so far that you have Thoughts on. I love me so writer’s cuts.

Writer’s cut for the sleepless nights at Botem! I couldn’t make a decision on which to do myself due to having thoughts all of the time, so I went for the latest post at the time!

When the members of Boatem can’t sleep, they end up at the Boatem hole.

The idea of Boatem sleepovers lives oh-so fondly in my heart. Where would they have it other than around their pet void?

At first it was him and Scar, and typically at each other’s starter bases. And then Last Life came and went and before they knew it, they had Impulse showing up at Grian’s, Pearl to Impulse’s, Mumbo to Scar’s, and they all eventually agreed it’d just be easier to end up at the hole. They’ve ended up at empty bases one too many times.

The notion of going to find someone for comfort after the death game that is Last Life only to find the base empty is a very traumatizing experience, maybe. The notion of going on a wild goose chase to find which base your buddies all ended up on, however, is a bit more amusing.

So far, tonight was just him. A lone bird in the grass.

I was thinking of Miraculous Ladybug, Chat Blanc and his little song about being a lonely cat on a roof. Good thing Grian won’t be alone for long!

The bloated moon glares down at him, but somehow, the world is peaceful.

I dabble a lot in art, and maybe it’s that part of me speaking but I positively love drenching things in moonlight. It’s prominent in my Scarian post-last life blurb, and it’s prominent here. There’s something about that midnight light that hits different.

He’s bundled up in the ever-growing Boatem blanket pile, staring into the void.

Boatem blanket pile! My favorite forms of affection especially in large groups of people is a dogpile. Lotta blankets, everyone’s just kind of lying on top of each other and relishing being in each others’ presences.

He doesn’t bet on being alone for long, and his suspicions are confirmed when a quiet meow reaches his ears.

Scar is never far behind his cat, and Jellie’s just curled up in his lap. Not even a minute goes by before he can hear the rhythmic tap of a cane.

No way I’m leaving Jellie out of this! My beloved!! Also, depending on the world, all of my Scars have different designs. Grians stay relatively the same but might have an extra detail or two.

“Why hello there, my dear Grian,” his friend greets before collapsing in a tired heap of Scar at his side.

“What’d you dream of this time?” Grian asks, bemused. The others were a bit shaky when it came to sharing, Mumbo in particular,

Mumbo’s plenty open! Just not to Grian, since, y’know, the mans killed him.

but it was Scar here alone, and they weren’t ones to keep a secret. Secrets. He’s got one secret that he’ll keep right here, and one day he’ll die.

Yeah, that’s a crush.

He shifts to fit them both under the blankets, Scar a line of welcome warmth along his side.

“You,” is the mumbled reply. “Still mostly you.”

A shiver runs up his back at how Scar’s breath fans over his neck, and he brushes it off with a laugh.

Kinda gay bro

“Seeing me’s not making them worse, is it?”

“Not seeing you’d make it worse.” Scar and Jellie somehow manage to coordinate the same quiet, content sigh, and Grian decides that he’ll simply die right this moment of their combined cuteness.

Pet owners and pets mimic each other. I’ve seen my friend do that, and I can confirm that it is very cute.

“What’d you dream about, G? What scenario keeps you from lady sleep’s welcoming embrace?” It was a familiar dance, made back when it was only them.

They sought out each other’s comfort after 3rd life. It was a little rocky at first, but like with every new thing in life you find a pattern. Their dreams would almost always have each other in it for obvious reasons, good or bad.

“You.” He rests his head on Scar’s. If he felt like being honest, which he rarely did, he’d say that he knew tonight would be quiet, and Scar was always up when Boatem got quiet.

Last life loneliness. Magical Mountain got pretty quiet and when it wasn’t, that meant trouble. That experience brews a certain concoction of emotions, none pleasant. So when it gets real quiet, sometimes Scar needs a reminder that he hasn’t been left alone again.

That tied back into him being up for Scar though, so he’s at least half-honest. It was better than dream after dream of beating his friend to death.

Grian seemed a lot more closed off during last life, and I do think killing Scar would’ve been carried with him even all this time later. Makes you wonder—oh shit I just got a new idea. Stay tuned for that I guess?

“It’s always us, huh?”

The moon’s close enough to trace her craters, and Grian finds himself doing just that. He reaches blindly, and Scar takes his hand without hesitation.

I’m telling y’all, there’s something about moonlight. The moon in general. There’s also something about hands, about reaching and someone taking it like they have their whole life.

“It’s always been us.”

It’s always been you.

This entire blurb was written to try and embody the phrase “Alone together.” It’s about knowing someone deep enough that you feel complete in their presence. It’s about saying ‘I love you’ in every little action you do and in every part of them you remember enough to keep with you.

Staying awake on quiet nights, knowing where you can find their hand to hold… romances for me aren’t all about loud declarations. They’re about the quiet moments, too. Ones that no one really wants to put on camera. Honestly, it’s a bit difficult for me to write because of how unconscious it is. But really.

There’s something about moonlight.

[archetypal-archivist]

Hermitcraft-What is Glass but Crystal Light?

There is a woman, sleeping in the heart of an eldritch being beyond mortal ken. There is a man, strapped into a chair, watched over by worried friends as his mind flies across the cosmos- looking for someone. There is a ship that sails the rivers of light that flow through the outer reaches of the void. And long ago, there were two boys who were nearly consumed by a star that should have stayed dead.

This is their story, split into ten parts, each inspired by a song and each part written within the song's duration. May they receive their happy ending yet.

Also known as, I took on a drabble writing challenge and came out with 1500+ words of Sad Grian the Space Sailor content. Links to the songs will be at the bottom. 

-----

The boat rocked through the waves, glowing light washing against its hull as nebulas and galaxies spun by. Grian stretched out his hand, letting the solar winds trail over and through his fingers, giving his skin a pale, silver glow. To Mumbo, standing stock still- near invisible in the light of the void, purple and dark and impossible to describe- Grian looked ethereal. Impossible. Like light in the void, like a man made of nothing, stretching out beyond his galaxy to see a glimpse of his lover across the cosmos... Was he talking of himself or of Grian? Best not to think about it. (Best not to think.) He was too boring for the brunet, he knew, but even if his redstone skills lacked the ability to hold his love’s attention, not like the starry seas could, it at least gave him this. Back at home, his body lay strapped into a cold metal chair and electrodes and wires poked harshly against his temples. Iskall watched helplessly as his friend’s eyes flickered behind his closed lids. Alas, if only his friend could see the heart that stood before him, wishing for a spark of that brilliant mind to be turned his way. (Sailor Song by Autoheart)

The seas were cold comfort, although few could tell. Grian knew that better than most. Mumbo was precious, truly, but he was better off without him. The seas had claimed him, marked him when they were younger, back when it was just him and the sea and the drowning feelings inflicted upon them both by a man too much like a black hole to be survived. He and the sea had come out changed, something less than human, in the case of his friend, and a bit less than whole for him. Mumbo really did deserve a whole person, not just a shell of one. But still, even if his heart had been eaten by the void, despite the sea’s best efforts, he could leave Mumbo this- a kiss, pressed to a sleeping temple, a key on the table, and a bottle of dreams. All he had left of his heart, all that he could give. (This is Not Goodbye by Sidewalk Prophets)

Taurtis was not always the sea. He was not always light. But always, as before and as always and as he always will be, he was not enough. Grian blamed him, he knew this too. He had come out of the mess of Sam and his pull just as broken as his best friend, but somehow Grian always spoke as if he had come out the poorer of the two of them. As if losing his physical form and his very name, his very identity, was somehow less of a burden than simply losing a heart. Perhaps that was why Grian was so cruel to him now, insisting that having Taurtis wasn’t enough these days. Perhaps losing a heart really was a burden. But compared to a body, to a soul set loose among the cosmos to join the solar seas and the stardust whipped up by the waves? Having to learn the art of surrender in all its brutal perfection? No, Taurtis had it worse by far. But even if he had lost his body, even if Grian blamed him for not protecting them both, even if he wasn’t enough (had internalized the blame, just a bit). Well. At least they’ll be together forever now. He would learn to be enough, maybe. Given time. Time enough in all the world. (Neptune by Sleeping at Last)

The void was not dark. The void was not silent. Beings roamed its reaches, things of light, borders and physics and string theory made flesh. The voids were treacherous, and those who sailed the cosmic seas knew its dangers well. There were things that lurked in the void’s fractalling, mind-hazing fog, in the light that was anything but. Things that ate men alive, bundled them up in contradictions and questions until their who unraveled from their what, until their atoms pulled apart at the seams. But the most eldritch of things in the void was hope. The most dangerous by far, it’s light cast out across the void, glimmered upon the waves and luring in the foolhardy and the desperate into its reach. And yet, it never struck. Never consumed, not as the other monsters of the void did. It didn’t need to. Any who caught glimpse of its might would throw themselves into its mass whole-heartedly. And yet. And yet. Not all who lost themselves to hope were devoured. Deep in its heart, there sleeps a woman. Her name is Stress, because that is what she is. And the heart of the hope at the center of the void is always breaking, because that woman, that Stress in the fabric of reality? She is trying to break free. And someday, she will succeed. And all will be torn bloody and new again. The seas know it. The absent skies know it. Taurtis knows it, in his piecemeal state. And oh, how hope pulls at him for the knowing. Best to leave his Grian in the dark. { Voidfish (Plural) by Rachel Rose Mitchell}

Vintage Beef knew better than to sell to traders and pirates like the man before him. Anyone who looked like they stepped out of a children’s picture book weren’t likely to be able to pay. Pirates belonged in a by-gone age, even ones that stank of light more than anyone he had ever met. But the man before him, edged in salt-spray golden glow, seemed so lost. So desperate. What was a drink, in the face of that? So he served the man a drink and a side of cow, as a treat to keep the man from hopefully getting too sloshed. No luck. And soon, the story came pouring out, a story of a pair of boys and a man who shone like stars, who blinded them with his light and sucked the life from their bones like marrow. A black hole in all but name. The fork in his hand clicked against the man’s teeth as he choked out the words, hands shaking. A childhood gone wrong. Beef just nodded, wondering, lost in the face of such loss. He could understand that, perhaps. But what was his own lost prospects, lost to his bar and his job, in the face of a lost life? He just hoped the man didn’t end up like all other men in story books. Stories ended. And, as the man stumbled out of the bar, starshine glittering around him like grief, he seemed as if he was rushing into his epilogue. Best wishes, Beef spared him a thought. He would need them. (Golden Leaves by Passenger)

Joe loved the sea, for all that he could not bear to touch it. As an ender hybrid, a bit like that prince in the far tower, its waters would burn him to the quick. And he loved the man he caught glimpses of when he stared out across the waves even more. The man had no name, not that he knew of anyway. Though, it’s not like he could ask, locked in his tower as he was. Part of the job description of a poet, of course. Call it an occupational hazard, just like falling for impossibly distant figures straight out of myth or legend and feeling your consciousness splinter across the cosmos to bring you inspiration in your dreams. (Sleep… hurt. He tried not to think about it.) But yes. The man on the edge of the sea, who rode the waves like he was made to. Perhaps he would write a story about him… (Venus by Sleeping at Last)

Grian knew that things were coming to a head. The sea beneath his boat was insisting that it was not actually the sea. Again. He must be going mad, too, losing his mind just like he lost his heart to that awful void-beast monster from so long ago. But somehow, it felt right, to listen to the sea. To lean over the prow and let his fingers trail through its liquid light waters, let the starshine climb up his veins and ooze through his pores, through his system. It was dangerous, yes, but when he cried tears that glowed like joy, it felt good. Cathartic. Like a piece of his was returning to him. He could never get his heart back, and even if he could, he’d turn right around and hand it to Mumbo. But maybe, just maybe, things would be okay. (It’s Alright by Mother Mother)

Taurtis knew the end was coming. And he was okay with it- longed for it even. He had a heart, unlike his friend. But where he was going, the woman who he had set that feeble organ on, he didn’t need it. Ha. This was why Grian really was stupid, as much as he was his best friend. As if you needed a physical heart to love someone. Deep in the heart of hope lived the most beautiful of women in existence, and she would wake soon. And her emergence would kill him in all the ways that didn’t matter. So in the face of that, why not give his best friend one last gift? A steady trail of heart’s blood was perhaps not quite equal to a heart, but for Grian- so caught up on the physicality of the world, the goof- it would do well enough. And perhaps, with this, he would stop moping. Heroes got their happy endings at the end of time, right? (Never Seen Anything “Quite Like You” by The Script)

Bloody hell. What a way to wake up. Stress stared out across the broken remains of a world blown apart by her emergence. How awful it was that her chance at life was paid at the price of a hundred thousand lives. Tears ran down her face. She did not want this. But soon, a man came to her, or a figment of one perhaps. A breath of comfort on the wind, blacker than pitch, black enough that pulled light from the void itself. It wrapped itself around her, kissing away her tears. Clothing her in mother of pearl- fitting, for she knew she was destined to bear forth a new heart of hope. She did not want this, but the affection was appreciated all the same. It would be the only kind touch she would receive in a while, the work would take up most of her free time for the next millennia at least. The void-black ghost introduced himself as Taurtis, at her service, to help her in her task. It was more freeing than service to his best friend, he explained. A service chosen, not owed or forced or bound. And besides, he whispered shyly. He loved her. And perhaps, as Stress turned her eyes to the newborn universe beyond, she could learn to love him too. (cover of On the Arrow by AFI, sung by Rachell Rose Mitchell)

In the distant black, a goddess bore forth a new universe, her shadow of a lover at her side. In the light of the sea, a ship capsized as the waters underneath shuddered and bucked, for the spirit that ensured the ship’s safety was dead. And the man aboard it did not drown. To his amazement, of course. He really had expected to die. But then, hearts full up of love are perhaps the lightest things around and instead of sinking, Grian floated. And when he saw he could do that, joy filled his heart, buoying him higher, and he swam. He had his true love to return to. And when he returned, soggy and beaming, he saw just what lengths his Mumbo had gone to watch him and he freed him from his prison of redstone and wire to kiss him awake. He laughed, giddy, despite Mumbo’s groggy confusion. They were free! Free of longing, of hoping, of heartlessness and cold metal substitutes for love. They could be together! Mumbo just blinked, once, twice, before breaking out into a bright peal of jingling laughter. They were free! He tried to pick up Grian to swing him into a kiss, but his long vigil in his machine left him loose-limbed and weak. Grian kissed him anyway. (Time to Run by Lord Huron)

-----

 (Sailor Song) (This is Not Goodbye) (Neptune) (Voidfish Plural)  (Golden Leaves) (Venus) (It's Alright)  (Never Seen Anything "Quite Like You")  (On the Arrow)  (Time to Run)

[floofy-bee-boi]

falling

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Desc; Iskall gets blown into the void while caving, and it isn’t very kind to him.

Word Count: 1,708

Warnings: Major Character Death (Non permanent), Mentions of Perma-Death, Panicking, Blood, Let me know if I need to add anything!

Note: In this one-shot, Iskall has one prosthetic arm and leg, similar to Doc’s arm.

(AO3 Link In Reblog)

Iskall set down a few torches, glancing around the dark cave. He was lighting things up to prevent mobs from spawning near his farm. He occasionally mined a few ores around before continuing through the cave. After walking through and putting down torches for a while, he stumbled upon a rather large hole. He crouched down, looking down into it. It was rather large in diameter, and it looked rather deep. Almost as if it went through bedrock right into the void. But that was highly unlikely. Bedrock was meant to be unbreakable. He knew Impulse hadn’t come and broken it. It must just go really far down.

Iskall chose to be somewhat smart about this, tossing a torch down into the hole. The light went on and on, never hitting the bottom. It only disappeared when it was too far to be seen. How deep was this hole? It seemed a bit dangerous to go down. He didn't have an elytra on him, not anticipating needing it in the cave. Digging straight down was always just a general bad idea. For various reasons.. Maybe he would come back when he had an elytra on him.

Or... Maybe he wouldn't. A hiss was heard behind him, and as soon as he turned around, a blast tossing him into the hole. Iskall let out a scream as he tried to catch onto something, but to no avail. His screams stopped as soon as he realized he wasn't hitting the ground.  He had been falling for several seconds, but no ground was hit.

He looked up, staring straight into the bottom of the world. The bedrock. Surrounding him was a cold blackness of nothing. He was in the void. No doubt about it. He was continuing to fall, the bedrock getting further and further. He was going to die here. Would he respawn in his bed? Or would he respawn back at spawn. Would he even respawn at all?

The air in the void started to thin, not doing much to help Iskall’s current hyperventilating. Would the void cause him perma-death? He wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to find out. Yet here he was. Finding out exactly that. He wrapped his arms around himself, stiffening at the sight of his robotic arm starting to disintegrate. It started turning to flakes, slowly drifting into the nothingness of the void. His eye started showing error messages as it and his robotic leg did the same. Vision in said eye went completely dark as he started to feel blood on his cheek.

He watched as the pieces of metal and drops of blood scattered while he fell. The pain was intense. He just wanted death already. The void was a cruel place to die in. This was unbearable. Why does it take so long? Why any of this? Tears formed in his normal eye as he let out a painful sob. 

What if it did cause perma-death? He couldn’t leave Grian and Mumbo. Or Stress. He couldn’t escape from Hermit Challenges. The cold brought numbness to most of his body. He could feel his whole body succumbing to the void. He let out a choked out laugh, hoping that he would respawn. Somewhere. Anywhere. He couldn’t leave yet.

Iskall85 fell out of the world.

-

Iskall took in a deep breath once he woke up suddenly in his bed. He winced at the harsh pain he felt, pushing himself up with his arm. He glanced around, looking for his communicator to message someone before realizing it was probably in the void. He groaned, pushing himself off the bed, leaning against the wall to keep himself balanced on his one leg. 

It was difficult to get anywhere, and at some point, his leg collapsed underneath him. He nearly fell face first onto the ground before he was caught and picked up by two arms from behind. Iskall turned to face whoever was behind him, seeing Grian’s concerned face.

“Iskall? What happened? You died in the void. That doesn’t happen very often. Are you-” Grian was cut off by Iskall resting his head on his friend’s shoulder and mumbling something unintelligible.

Grian sighed, gently petting Iskall’s hair. “I’m going to bandage you up and then I’m taking you to Mumbo.” He carefully took Iskall back to his bed, cleaning the blood off his face. Iskall didn’t even know he was still bleeding. He just accepted Grian’s care, lacking the energy to protest.

Once Grian was done bandaging him up, Iskall was picked up again. Iskall clung to him with his one arm while Grian took off flying in the direction of Mumbo’s base.

Grian stopped, landing at Mumbo’s base, calling out for their mustached friend. “Mumbo! Come help me with Iskall!”

Mumbo flew over to the two. “Hello- Shit Iskall- That doesn’t look good. I guess you did fall in the void.” He mumbled the last part rather softly. “Take him with me.”

Grian followed Mumbo into his base and set Iskall on a bed in a room he made for Iskall.

“I have the blueprints to remake your limbs but it will take a while to get them all done. Would you be okay staying here?” Mumbo asked Iskall.

Iskall nodded, leaning against the wall, not having the energy to sit up on his own. “Yeah..”

Grian smiled faintly at Iskall, glad he would be okay with Mumbo. “I’m going to head off now. Mumbo let me know if you need anything, okay?”

Mumbo nodded. “Yeah. Thanks Grian!” He waved as Grian flow out. He turned back to Iskall. “You can sleep if you want.” Iskall nodded, and with help from Mumbo, laid down under the blankets. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep.

Mumbo left, starting work on new parts for Iskall. He occasionally came back to get a measurement or two, Iskall sleeping through it.

After a few hours of relatively peaceful sleep, the quietness of Mumbo’s base was disturbed with a loud scream from where Iskall was previously asleep. Iskall quickly shot up in bed, his breathing quickened from a nightmare during his rest. 

Iskall pushed himself out of the bed, forgetting that he couldn’t walk anywhere at the moment. He fell onto the ground, curling up in a tight ball, sobbing softly.

It wasn’t long before Mumbo came to check on Iskall after hearing the scream. “Iskall? Are you-” He stopped at the sight of his friend on the ground. He frowned, sitting down beside him and gently pulled him into a hug. “What happened?” He asked softly.

Iskall clung to him with his singular arm while Mumbo gently rubbed his back. “I- I had a nightmare. I died.. In the void. And I didn’t respawn. It- It was perma-death Mumbo.”

Perma-death wasn’t usually a thing to worry about. Hermitcraft was somewhat forgiving when you died. However when it comes to the void, no one could really be 100% sure.

Mumbo held Iskall close, leaning back against the side of the bed. “It’s okay. You respawned. You’re here still.” 

Iskall nodded slowly, resting his head against Mumbo’s shoulder. “Didn’t make it any less terrifying though.” He whispered softly.

“I know, Iskall. You won’t fall into the void again though, okay?”

Iskall nodded again, having mostly calmed down now. He closed his eye, feeling tired again after that. He let Mumbo set him back on the bed, falling asleep under the blankets again.

When he awoke again, it was more peaceful. He slowly opened his eyes, spotting Mumbo working on a new robotic leg for him at a makeshift table. “Mumbo? What are you doing in here? And what time is it?”

“I came in here to keep an eye on you after earlier.” Mumbo smiled sheepishly. He then returned to his work, clearly avoiding the second question.

“Are you going to ignore my question?” Iskall knew that it was probably late, seeing as Mumbo had made decent progress on what he was doing.

“Three? In the morning?” 

Iskall sighed. “What did I expect..” Despite his concern for his friend’s sleep schedule, Iskall did appreciate that he would do this to help him.

Mumbo shrugged, continuing to do his work. “How did you.. end up in the void in the first place?”

Iskall hesitated before answering Mumbo. “I found a hole that.. I guess lead to the void. And I was in a cave.. And a creeper blasted me into it.”

Mumbo nodded slowly. “I see-” He was startled by the sudden sound of rockets going off. “What’s going on at this hour-?” He pushed himself up to go see who was outside.

Iskall glanced up, waiting for Mumbo to return. After a moment, Mumbo came back, Xisuma following behind him.

“Xisuma?” Iskall questioned.

Xisuma waved a bit at Iskall. “Hey Iskall. I’m.. Sorry about the void. There was.. A bit of a glitch with the server. And it caused the world to have some issues. I’m very sorry- I do believe I have fixed it now though.”

Iskall smiled faintly. “It’s okay. I’m fine. And uh.. Thanks for fixing it, X.”

“You’re welcome. However, I’ve also come to make someone rest.” 

Mumbo glanced away sheepishly. “Sorry, X.”

“Go on, get to bed. I’ll continue your work for a bit.” Xisuma set down a bed next to Iskall’s, pushing Mumbo towards it. Xisuma grabbed all the stuff Mumbo was working with, leaving the room.

Mumbo let out a sigh, flopping down onto the bed. He fell asleep rather quickly.

Iskall rolled his eyes, laughing quietly. “You really were tired then..” He curled up under his blanket again, falling asleep for the third time.

-

A few days later, Iskall finally got all the parts replaced. He glanced down at his hand, moving each of his fingers to test them out.

“Does everything work okay?” Mumbo asked him.

Iskall hesitated for a moment before he nodded. “Yes.. Thanks Mumbo!”  He smiled gratefully.

Mumbo smiled as well. “Let me know if anything needs adjusting, okay?”

Iskall nodded. He was grateful for Mumbo helping him. He could finally go back to doing things. Xisuma had fixed the glitch, so he didn’t have anthing to worry about. He finally felt able to relax and peacefully build his tree.

[maryqueenofmurder]

Bdoublo100 x Keralis

“-I think it would be a pretty good story if Bdubs fell somewhere else with water, and Keralis hadn’t been released from area 77.  Bdubs finds out that Keralis has been captured in some wacky way, and launches a one man mission to rescue him/joins th hippies.  Possibly both.”  -me

Speak and ye shall receive.

------------------------------------------------------------

Bdoubleo100 fell.  Again.

But this time, he didn’t just hit the ground and go splat.  Instead, he landed in water.  Bubbles explodes around him as he sunk deeper.  The salty water stung his eyes, which he opened out of surprise.  Bdubs clamped his mouth shut, and swam desperately for the surface.

He popped up, taking huge, gasping breaths.  That was not an experience he was interested in repeating.  Which meant he’d have to find land.  Luckily,  he’d landed in a rather deep river.  Full of... bamboo?  Bdubs quit treading water, and splashed over to the other end of the river.  He climbed up the bank, with limbs that felt like lead, they were so heavy.

Bdubs paused at the top.  He stood in awe in front of the shopping district.  Of course, he didn’t know what it was.  Simply that it was full of amazing buildings.  Was that the Statue of Liberty?

Bdubs must have stood there, soaking wet and dripping on the ground, for a couple of minutes.  He didn’t get too cold though, the sun shone down.  It made him feel sleepy.  It was getting colder, though.  He was really tired after the whole falling and dying over and over thing.  His eyes started to flutter shut, and he swayed slightly.

Then Bdubs eyes snapped open.  He had heard the sound of rockets.  He whipped around to see whoever was flying -some guy in a red sweater- make a hard turn in his direction.  Bdubs closed his eyes and braced for impact, hoping it wouldn’t kill him or injure him too badly.  Red sweater man stopped just a few feet from were he was standing.  He could hear that much.

“Who are you?!”  Bdubs opened his eyes.  Red sweater man seemed pretty upset, and was practically seething.

“I’m Bdoubleo100!  But you can call me Bdubs.”  Bdubs told him, wondering why he was so mad.

“Well, why are you here?  Are you a new hermit?  Why didn’t anyone tell me this was happening?”  Red sweater man seemed calmer.  But more irritated.

“I don’t think they knew I was coming.  I didn’t.”  Bdubs answered truthfully.

“Ugh.  This is just like Keralis.  Why are random people showing up?  Probably aliens.  I can give you the rundown.”  Red sweater man continued to talk about how the hermits were family and stuff, but Bdubs basically tuned him out after Keralis.  He might’ve mentioned aliens as well.

Bdubs had a crush on Keralis, but they got separated before he could confess.  He thought he’d been over it, but clearly not.  Besides, Keralis was a good friend of his, he’d like to see him.  Maybe they could do something together.

“Did you say Keralis?”  Bdubs interrupted the guy.

“Uh, yeah, do you know him?”  Red sweater guy tilted his head.

“We’re pretty good friends.  Can you take me to him?”  Red sweater guy seemed to deflate when he said it.

“No.  He’s stuck in Area 77.  We overheard Doc talking about it.  That’s why I’m so upset.  You can’t just kidnap people, Doc!  We keep telling everybody what’s up, but nobody will listen.  They think we’re overreacting!”  Red sweater man seemed to be getting worked up.

“Area 77?!  Doc kidnapped Keralis?!  Aliens?!”  Bdubs said frantically.

“Area 77 is what basically amounts to a government facility.  They keep anything out of the ordinary in there.  Apparently Keralis came out of a portal, and they made him build something to prove he was the real Keralis.”  Red sweater man informed him.

“So, he’s NOT the real Keralis then?”  Now Bdubs was confused.

“Oh no, he was, but they decided to keep him anyway.  Probably because he was still an anomaly.  Maybe the aliens told them to do it.”  Red sweater man said.

“Aliens.”  Now Bdubs wasn’t even sure the guy wasn’t messing with him.

“Apparently, yeah.  Ren overheard them talking about it.”  Now red sweater man was mentioning more people.

“And no-one is doing ANYTHING about this.”  Bdubs was concerned.

“Nah.  They stole my time machine and kidnapped villager Grian as well, so I don’t know why nobody cares!  It’s just us hippies trying to save them.”  So red sweater guy had some investment in this whole thing as well.

“So the hippies are people who are against Area 77.  Like a protest?”  Bdubs inquired.  “Who are the hippies?”

“At the moment it’s just me, Ren, and Impulse.  We do more than protest against Area 77, but you’d need to join us to find out.”  Red sweater man winked.

“I might take you up on that offer.”  Bdubs winked back, and turned around.  He... had absolutely no idea where to go.  He turned to face the guy again.

“Where do I go now?”  Bdubs asked.

The man’s eyes narrowed.  “I can’t just let you go.”  Bdubs’s heartbeat picked up.

“What?”  He asked nervously.

“If the Area 77 guys Doc and Scar find you they’ll lock you up too.”  Red sweater man answered confidently.  Bdubs hadn’t thought of that.  He’d need to hide.

“So.  Why don’t you come with me, and I can make you a hippie?  There’s plenty of room nearby, and you can work with us underground.”  Red sweater man said charismatically.

“I don’t know...”  Bdubs answered.  He barely knew who the hippies were.

“You can help us rescue Keralis.”  There was a gleam in his eyes.  Most would call it mischevious, but it wasn’t.  It was determination.

“Okay.”  Bdubs took him up on his offer immediately.  If he was going to get Keralis, he’d need some help.

---------------------------Line Break Brought to You By Bubbles------------------------

“Ren, Impulse, this is Bdoubleo100.”  Grian pointed at each while he introduced Bdubs.  He’d called an emergency hippie meeting.

“And you brought him here why?  What we’re doing is top secret.  Then again, you hired me after a five minute interview.  But the stakes have been raised.”  Impulse seemed wary.

“Don’t be so hard on Grian, Impulse.  I’m more concerned as to why we weren’t informed there was a new hermit, and if we can trust him.”  Ren said cheerily.  Impulse nodded, though his gaze didn’t change from where it fell on Bdubs.  But Bdubs was too distracted to notice.

“Grian?”  He turned to look at red sw- Grian.  He never did tell me his name, did he?  Ren turned to Grian, and raised an eyebrow.  Grian looked rather sheepish.

“I may have forgotten to introduce myself.  And he’s like Keralis, so Xisuma didn’t know he was getting on.  I brought him here because we need to hide him so Doc and Scar can’t imprison him.  Also, he knew Keralis, so he wants to be a hippie and help us break into Area 77.”  Grian started off bashfully, but ended the same determined tone that had graced him earlier.

“So where do we hide him then?  The hole?  It can’t be ANYWHERE Doc or Scar could find him, so we can’t have him build an R.V..”  Impulse’s question was directed to Grian.  Then he spun over to Bdubs and started interrogating him.

“If you’re fine with an underground base you can dig a hole connected to ours, and you can stripmine down there.  We can get you most of what else you need.  With proper lighting you could start a tree farm, and pretty much any other kind of farm.”  Impulse had been getting more excited with everything he said, and frankly Bdubs was eager to hear what else he would say.

“We’ll show you around the place.  We usually meet up every night that there’s more than one of us here together to bond around the campfire.  Doc’d be suspicious if we stopped right away, so we can meet you down in the hole two times a week to start.  The second visit will be our weekly hippie meeting, where we talk about our progress on the whole Area 77 raid.”  Impulse finished his ramble.  Ren, Grian, and Bdubs all nodded in agreement.

“So will you show me this hole you keep talking about?”  Bdubs questioned.

A childish smile grew on Grian’s face.  They walked from where they were standing by the campfire to Ren’s R.V..  They all filed in, with Bdubs last.  Grian stood on top of the toilet.  Bdubs shot him a questioning glance.

Grian, gleefully, shouted, “Flush me, boys!” his smile growing ever wider.

Ren hit the button on the side of the toilet, and the toilet... disappeared.  No, that wasn’t right, it got pulled into the wall of the R.V..  Grian fell down a tunnel underneath the toilet.  The toilet then returned to its proper place.

Bdubs snorted.  Impulse gestured towards the toilet.  “Your turn.  May I have the honor of flushing you, Bdoubleo100?”  Impulse asked grandly.  Bdubs nodded in return.  Impulse hit the button, and Bdubs fell down, landing in water.

Deja Vu.  Bdubs had fallen into water earlier, and now his clothes were wet again.  He stepped into a giant hole.  The floor, walls, and ceiling was all dirt.  The ground was covered in grass, though.

“Wow.”  He stood there for a moment, stunned.

“Alright, follow me.”  Grian announced making the come-here gesture.  Ren and Impulse walked up behind Bdubs, Ren having been flushed by Impulse who then flushed himself afterwards.

“Here is the tunnel.  I’m digging it under Area 77, and when it’s far enough, we’ll break in.”  Grian broke some dirt, revealing a long, long tunnel.

“You can dig your hole over there.”  Grian patched up the hidden entrance, and gestures at the far side of the hole.

“We’ll fetch you stuff to start you off, like saplings.  If you need anything from the surface world, we go on trips at the end of every week to get supplies.  It happens after each hippie meeting.”  Grian handed him some wood, a bed, and a book to write necessary supplies on.  Bdubs thanked him, and started to brainstorm as to what to do.

---------------------------Line Break Brought to You By Area 77------------------------

The days passed quickly since then.

Bdubs mined and started farms and built.  He’d gotten diamond armor and tools.  But what he did most of all was dig.  The tunnel to Area 77 was lengthening fast.  It was already under the main hangar.  The next step would take a couple of days, but would be worth it.

The hippies would excavate several other tunnels, branching out from the main one.  This would allow for easy access to several different areas.  They would split up, Ren, Impulse, and Grian going to hangar 4.  Or wherever Grian’s time machine was.  They’d rescue villager Grian, and steal the time machine back.

Bdubs would head to Keralis’s cell.  He’d free him without setting off the alarm.  In case someone noticed Keralis dying over and over, he’d wait until Grian and the others had left in the time machine.

Finally, it was time.

All the countdowns had run out, and the R.V.s had all launched and flew.  The hippies all met up in the hole.  Grian handed Bdubs a player head and a specific set of clothes.  Bdubs changed into them, and they all started down the main tunnel.

Once they reached the end of the main tunnel, they split up.  Grian, Ren, and Impulse went down the tunnel that lead to the front hangar.  That’s where Keralis’s main base was.  Or at least, the place he spent the largest amount of time, and where he slept.

Bdubs counted the blocks as he walked.  He couldn’t get distracted, lest he mess this up.  And if he failed, if he got caught...  There wouldn’t be any second chances.  Not for him.  Bdubs stopped.  He’d reached the right block.

He broke the top block, which was eye level to him.  Then he crouched down and peered up, through the hole where the newly broken block used to be.  The gamble had paid off.  The camera in the hallway was right above his head and was aimed at the far wall for the moment.

This put Bdubs in the camera’s blind spot.  He took a deep, inaudible breath.  Then he slipped the player head over his own.  Doc’s player head, to be exact.  He was also wearing a set of clothes that looked like Doc’s.  Grian had made sure they fit Bdubs perfectly.

Though it wouldn’t hold up to close examination, hopefully no-one would realize he wasn’t Doc until it was too late.  It would also allow him to pass observers.  Impulse had taught him how to mimic Doc’s body language.  Bdubs was passable at it, at best.  Ren had tried to teach him how to talk like Doc, but he just sounded unintelligible and German.

Bdubs walked deeper into the tunnel, and started blocking it off.  That way, if Doc or Scar broke the wall to see were he came from, they’d just see dirt and stone.  Hopefully, that would keep them from digging too deep.

If they found the tunnel, they could suss out that it was the hippies who did it.  It would lead them right to the big hole.  And possibly to Bdubs’s base, as well.  They would find him, and Keralis as well, assuming Bdubs succeeded in rescuing him.  Then again, if he failed to save Keralis, then he probably already got caught.

The camera turned.  Bdubs walked into the hallway.  He patched the wall behind him up seamlessly.  He fiddled with his clothes slightly, then strode into the view of another camera.

Bdubs walked down the hallway with purposeful strides.  Inside, however, he was a nervous wreck.  It didn’t help that he was going to see Keralis again.

Bdubs slowed his steps, which had stared getting frantic.  He tried to calm down  He took even breathes.  Then he arrived at the main hangar.

Bdubs walked over to the ice, the only way to see the inside of Keralis’s cell.  There was a house inside.  It was beautiful, and modern style.  He shook himself out of his stupor, and tapped on the ice.  Keralis was probably sleeping, it was three in the morning after all.  Bdubs rapped his knuckles on the ice.  He knocked louder.

Keralis stumbled out of the house, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.  Keralis spotted Bdubs and sighed, clearly not recognizing him.  Bdubs took a piece of paper out of his pocket.  It said:

Hey Keralis,

I’m pretending to be Doc.  When it’s the right time, I’ll give you a bunch of ender pearls.  You’ll pearl into the ice wall and eventually glitch through.  I’ll take you somewhere that Area 77 can’t find us.  Get rid of the paper.

Bdubs put the paper into the dispenser and hit the lever.  The paper dispensed in Keralis’s cell.  Keralis picked it up dazedly, and read it.  He paused.  Then read it over again, and shot Bdubs a glance.  Read the paper again.  Really scrutinized Bdubs.

Bdubs fidgeted nervously and looked away, feeling flustered with the full weight of Keralis’s gaze on him.  Bdubs looked back at Keralis.  Keralis nodded slowly, and put the paper back in the dispenser, and gestured towards it.  Bdubs took the paper out of the dispenser, folded it up, and put it back in his pocket.

---------------------------Line Break Brought to You By Spies------------------------

Bdubs’s communicator crackled slightly.  “We’re about to use the time machine.”  Grian’s voice whispered over the comms.

“In position.”  Bdubs whispered back.

Bdubs waited a couple of seconds.  Then he walked over to the dispenser and inserted several stacks of ender pearls.  Then flicked the lever a couple of times.  Keralis picked them up, and pearled into the ice wall.

A huge amount of failures later, and many deaths, Keralis was out.

Bdubs grabbed Keralis’s upper arm gently, and led him to the hallway.  The camera was still pointing in the same direction.  Bdubs broke the two blocks in the camera’s blindspot, and the dirt behind him.

Bdubs stepped into the hole, pulling Keralis with him.  Bdubs blocked up the hole in Area 77′s wall.  He broke more dirt, filling the hole behind him and Keralis as they walked side by side.  When they got to the end of the dirt blockade and into the tunnel Keralis turned to Bdubs.

“Okay, it’s nice that you broke me out, but who are you?”  Keralis asked distrustfully.  In response Bdubs took off his mask.  Keralis’s eyes darted back and forth, his mouth falling open.  He mouths Bdubs’s name, and then-

oh

Keralis pulled his face away from Bdubs.  Then he shot him a shy smile.  Bdubs grabbed Keralis’s hand, lacing their fingers together.  Together they walked down the tunnel, back to the hole.

Their story isn’t over, far from it in fact.  Doc will discover that the time machine and Keralis are gone in a couple of hours.  Bdubs and Keralis will have to hide, have to learn to avoid detection, become ghost in so many different ways.

But right now, at this moment?  Bdubs and Keralis walk down the tunnel hand in hand, humming contentedly.  And they are happy.

The end.

[starstress]

MCC Aqua Axolotls Live Commentary!

Hello, as said, I will attempt to write down my thoughts and reactions during the MCC. 

Stream links!!

False: https://www.twitch.tv/falsesymmetry

Ren: https://www.twitch.tv/rendogtv

Grian (yes, he’s streaming): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjkgnEi4t9g

Pearl: https://www.twitch.tv/pearlescentmoon

Updates will come as edits, so be sure to check this again every once in a while if you’re interested or just curious! 

To all fans, please be kind to everyone, no matter the team or who you wish would win. You will only embarrass yourself if you harass others or act immaturely and will gain no brownie points with those you follow and watch.

For now, may the games begin and the best team win!

-

Edit 1: Peeps are running a bit late, apparently, Ren is the only one on the team with no aqua colour XD Grian recoloured the headband that Smajor had made for him last stream XD

Andddd, we’re kicking off!!

-

Edit 2: The gong makes an appearance!! Also, the story of the gong!! Grian had bought it as a gag for whenever he and Mumbo record! The team loves it!

Countdown has finally started!

-

Edit 3: The first game is Skyblockle(?)!! Team ain’t feeling too confident about it, but we’ll see! I think they’ll be okay at this. Gri is reading the instructions and getting nervous XD

From now, everything will be under the cut. Warning, it’s really long.

Oof, wood fell in the lava. They still have more :)) They’re sharing tasks pretty nicely, I have to say, but they keep changing plans. Things will heat up quickly, tho, and I’m glad this game is gonna be out of the way soon.

First death in Skyblockle for the Aqua Axolotls: False! Second: Grian!

Doom is on the horizon XD

Rip, Ren has died too, and Pearl has gotten a couple of kills!! 

And the Axolotls are out!

First gong after a game. Rn we’re all watching the other teams. Dream team is holding up well. Techno’s team is out too. Last bid!

Endgame: Pearl has won the most coins, team is a bit disappointing by last place.

-

Edit 4: They have the Uno Reserve card as they were the worst team. 

Game: Bingo but Fast!

Gri is reading the instructions again. Someone in Pearl’s stream is watching 25 streams holy dandelions.

The team is again sharing tasks. This is pretty speedy!

Hearing Gri lament how speedy it all is is so funny. Also, they’re all like headless chickens and a lot more disorganized now. Poor team.

Endgame: Ren’s sweating in unspeakable places lol, but they’re not last anymore!

Pearl’s game just crashed, oh goodness.She’s back in, wooo!

-

Edit 5: Game: Battle box!

Gri is going for the middle. Pearl got so many kills!

First round won!!

Second round lost!

Third round won!!

Ren’s having a hard time breathing, and I gotta say same! 4th place rn.

Game was paused to stop the animations of the NPCs and we got another gong! we chilling for a few mins lol.

WE’RE ON AGAINST THE DREAM TEAM. Aww, the game needs to be reset or smt. 

Oh wow, draw for every team. Fourth round was skipped.

Fifth round - uh SERVER CRASHED

Wowie, the map looks really strange without the resource pack.

First hiccup in 7 event, dang. 

Starting again. Resource pack might no re-appear again. And now I’m laggy, lol

Round 1: lost!

Round 2: won! Gri with the tnt :D

Round 3: lost! tnt did not work this time

Round 4: unknown due to lag, oof.

Round 5: lost

Round 6: unknown 

Round 7: unknown

Round 8: unknown

Round 9: unknown (prob lost)

Place: Last.

Everyone’s laggy, including me lol.

The viewers are being encouraging, which is really great and wholesome!

-

Edit 6: Game: Big Sales at Build Market!

Team is confident about this one, wooo!!

Grian ended up in plants lol. Ughhh, diorate. Communication is key, and it’s very well done!!

They’re building fast and getting resources pretty fast, that’s good.

Grian listing what they need is *chef kiss* False being alert is *hearteyes* and the chats are the real mvps 

Endgame: Place 7. It was pretty intense indeed.

Break time!

-

Edit 7: Audience takeover!! Pearl wants Rocket Spleef, so does Techno. Dream wants Hole in the Wall.

Game: Rocket Spleef!!

Grian’s reading instructions :))) 

This will be intense as all heck. Countdown has stopped, huh.

Oof, apparently it was supposed to be Hole in the Wall, but can’t change. Gri’s prob not gonna have as great of a time as I’d hopped :P

Round 1: Rainbow map, False is out! :o The very first time! Team’s out right before tnt time! Place 6, nice.

Round 2: Uhh, Atoms map?? Grian and Pearl are struggling. Pearl’s out! Gri’s out! Ren’s out! False’s still going.

Round 3: Grian’s finally got the rocket jump. Jump and then launch :D Or maybe not XD Tnt time! Pearl is waiting down at the bottom. She fell, oof. Grian’s having cramps in his hand and, in his words, he’s ‘a goner.’

Endgame: False’s the master of Rocket Spleef! And place 6! Team really enjoyed it, I’m so glad :D

-

Edit 8: Team’s hoping for Ace Race, and it looks like it might be!

Game: Ace Race!

Grian is narrating for all of us, nice! “This is totally Sonic!” he says!

“’Your first time will probably suck’. Yeah, that’s been happening about the entire time!” lmao

Omg, the map is so cool!! Def a fan favourite!! The entire team is having so much fun yesss

All of them are really doing good, Grian and False are placing good.

“Techno, get outta my way!!” -  Gri, and I have to say, mood.

Grian got place 15! Right behind Techno, nice!!

Pearl is 32!

Ren is 35?

False is somewhere behind Gri, but way before Pearl.

Endgame: Everyone had one heck of a time and now they’re trying to find out how to make it in Vanilla Minecraft XD

Place: 9 

-

Edit 9: They dunked the Lime Llamas XDD

Game: Sands of Time

Oof, this one’s gonna be a maker or a breaker.

Oh goodness, they have no one watching the time D:

They’re banking coins, thankfully. 

Oh no, Pearl!! Sand is needed. Grian to the rescue!

Phew, three sand left, thank you Pearl for topping up!!

Intense, gosh, i’m really nervous about the sand!!

Oof, Pearl’s stream froze. It ended, oh no. Actually, it might just be me that has enormous lag (not smt new lol). 

There we go, slow but it’s something.

The sand!! Aww man, right as Pearl got the sand!! They’re out! At least they banked a lot of their coins.

Endgame: We got a nice gong. Place: 5! Overall place: 9!

-

Edit 10: My wi-fi is beating me up with a stick, and it’s unrelenting. Lag is my life now.

Last game: Hole in the Wall

Ren’s gonna have a bad time XD

Round 1: Pearl’s fallen, from what my laggy video will show me. Gri as well. They’re out!

Round 2: Pearl’s still alive, woo!! Glitched right through one, so cool XD

Round 3: lag.

Endgame: Ren’s raging, Grian is really amused by that XD Nice game!! 

-

Edit 11:

Overall place: 9

Time for the final battle!! Gong! Ren wants the gong as stream sound effect :D

Green Guardians vs Orange Ocelots! 

Grian supports Techno bc Techno said he liked him lmao!! The others are Green. 

Also fun fact: Grian could coach a match of dodge ball!

Round 1: Green wins!

Round 2: Orange wins!! Techno’s taking them out!

Round 3: Orange wins!

Round 4: Orange wins!

Grian: “It’s like one of those anime moments!”

Round 5: Green wins!

(Gri went off holy heck)

Congrats to the Green Guardians!!  

- 

Last edit of the night!

That was extremely fun to watch!! The lag and my own wi-fi made it a bit irritating at times, esp since I had to split my focus, but it was pretty good nonetheless.

It’s really sad that the Championship itself lagged so much, I have a feeling it left both a lot of viewers and players feeling frustrated as well. 

However, the new mini game was lots of fun and I have a feeling we’ll be seeing it a lot in the future. I really hope we will.

The team was really good, they managed to coordinate very well, but like many groups who’ve just started working together for the first time, there were times where they could’ve slowed down a bit and reconsidered their plans. Still, the important bit was that they all had a great time together.

Overall, I really hope Grian and Pearl will participate again, even if not on the same teams. I also hope that there will be more Hermitcraft members joining in, even if only for one Championship. I had tons of fun writing this as well, but I think I’ll switch back to occasional posts about amusing things that happen during the games, as it really took a lot of my attention from the mcc itself.

Hope whoever kept up with me or reads this later enjoyed/enjoys this. I’m off to bed now, I’m sleepy and I’ll prob wake up, read through this, and find 10 million little mistakes that I’ll die over. Future me, I deeply apologize, but, uhhhh, no regrets!!

Starstress out!

[fluid-quartz]

its almost 2 am, i make poor life choices, and i just wrote a small ficlet based on @welsfight ‘s post about how ex eats and the weird theories that stemmed from it. i thought about putting the biggest part of it under the cut cause its like ~1800 words but i dont feel like it whoops

so without further ado, i present to you:

THE HERMITS AND THE MYSTERY OF HOW EVIL X EATS

It was a nice evening out, as they all sat around the campfire. Tango was sitting almost inside of it, roasting marshmallows for everyone that wanted them, and the others were just chatting with each other, about some of their projects and plans or simply about things that had happened.

Cub was looking pensively the whole time, as though he was trying to figure something out.

“Hey guys? Strange question, maybe, but… Do you ever wonder how Evil X eats, what with that helmet that never goes off?” The conversation around him dulled, multiple Hermits just staring at him for a moment.

“That… is a very good question,” said Zedaph as he jumped to his feet. He sensed there was a great game show in this, probably. “Ladiiiieeeeees and gentlemeeeeeen! Welcome to the first episode of How Do They Eat?! This time, we’re discussing Evil Xisuma!” A few of them chuckled, shifting in their places a little to be able to properly see Zedaph, who had just completely taken on his game show host persona, including putting a little desk of brightly coloured concrete in front of him.

There was only murmur for a moment, and then Bdubs stood up, dramatically clearing his throat.

“Well, I think he eats nutrient pills that he pops through a coin slot. So he can still have a balanced diet, you know?” As he spoke, Keralis’ eyes grew even larger than they already were.

“Slot machine? Did you say… Slot machine, Bubbles???” he said, not-so-sneakily looking around to see if Evil X was around somewhere. Iskall just laughed, and Bdubs looked at Keralis with judgment in his eyes.

“No, no, you can’t play slot machines on Evil X, he puts a cork in the coin slot when he isn’t using it.”

Keralis wanted to go against it, but Zedaph was quicker and louder.

“That’s an interesting theory you got there! But… Are there others? Surely you must have wondered before how he eats. Come, don’t be afraid to speak up!”

Doc immediately raised his hand, then stood up to speak.

“Guys. It’s obviously a teleportation ray. He just points at food, and it reappears in his mouth or stomach, depending on how lazy he’s feeling. It’s the simplest scientific explanation.”

“That’s a load of bullshit, Doc. It implies that he needs to eat, and we all know he’s secretly a robot. He just hasn’t shown it yet, right, guys?” Biffa interjected before anyone else could speak. There was some muttering about it, until Zedaph once more took over.

“Biffa, I appreciate the input, I really do – yes, yours too, Doc, don’t worry – but for the sake of the game, let’s assume he eats.”

“But what if he doesn’t? What if… What if he’s immortal! Immortals don’t eat, right?” Keralis butted in enthusiastically.

“Well, then we wouldn’t be playing this game, right? So! Theories! I personally think he can just remove a panel of his helmet, and then sucks it in like a vacuum cleaner. Or like Kirby, that might be closer to reality. They are both red, after all.”

“Kirby’s pink, Zed.”

“I don’t care, Tango, I haven’t heard you name a better theory.”

All eyes in the circle were suddenly aimed at Tango, who almost dropped a batch of marshmallows into the fire.

“Uh…. I uh… Maybe his helmet is just fused to his face? So like, it opens up when his mouth opens?” He sounded a tad unsure of himself, having to think up a theory on the spot. Still better than kirbying, though. Stress immediately started bouncing up and down on the ground, her hand raised high into the sky.

“Oh, oh! What if the glass part of his helmet just opens, so he can drop the food in?”

“Or the top. It could also be the top of his helmet that opens, like a fishbowl,” interjected TFC’s gruff voice. He sounded amused, though. Very much so.

“Wouldn’t that just create a very big mess? For all we know the bottom half can just open up separately from the rest, so he can just eat more or less normally,” Wels shrugged, looking over at Zedaph once more.

“Those are all very valid theories. A bit boring, though, and plain! There’s more points to be got with creative theories!” He was smiling widely, looking around at the others. Then he pointed at Iskall. “You! Iskall! What is your super mega awesome theory of doom?”

The swede looked bewildered, and thought for a moment. Then they could almost literally see a redstone lamp going on above his head.

“An airlock! Like in spacecrafts! That’s why the bit in front of his mouth sticks out a little, it’s so that food can first get surrounded by the Right Kind of air before it gets to him!” He was beaming, thinking his theory was the most clever one out there. Until Mumbo spoke up.

“Uhm… Iskall? How would he get the food from that airlock into his mouth?”

“I don’t know, maybe he just like… tilts his head backwards and hopes for the best?” Around him, various Hermits were laughing. The mental image of spooky, scary Evil X desperately trying to make a cookie fall into his mouth and failing horribly just did that to someone.

“Oh! If we continue in that vein a little… You know how items sometimes just kind of clip through walls? What if that’s how he gets food inside of his helmet? By having it just clip through? Sometimes it would just get stuck, though, out of his reach,” Impulse mused, smiling widely.

“Gosh, that would be soooo difficult to clean, though!” Stress sighed.

“Then he can just clip through some cleaning supplies as well, don’t worry about it.” Impulse chuckled, then stuck out his tongue at the face Stress made.

From the other side of the campfire, Jevin’s voice suddenly popped up.

“You know, I bet he eats enderpearls like eggs.”

The murmuring that had been present completely died down as he looked around, completely serious. Zedaph opened and closed his mouth a few times.

“That.. That wasn’t even the question, Jevin! Do you have any theories about how he eats instead?”

“Yeah… Yeah, I do. I think he just… He either boils them, and eats them with the crunchy scale, or maybe he just sticks a straw in to slurp up the insides. Evil X seems like someone that would do that.”

“ABOUT HOW HE EATS IN GENERAL, JEVIN, NOT ABOUT HOW HE EATS ENDERPEARLS!” Zedaph sighed, then shook his head and facepalmed. “Anyone else. Literally anyone. Please.”

Python mumbled something in response, too quiet for even the people around him to hear properly.

“Could you repeat that a bit louder, please?” Zedaph asked, and Python looked him straight in the eyes.

“… maybe he vores?”

“No. Nope. Cursed theory right there, ladies and gents. Python, please go sit with Jevin to think about your sins, and maybe you won’t go in the dunk tank.” He pointed over to were the grinning slime man was sitting, and Python stood up with a shrug, faking disappointment and fear for the dunk tank. Then Mumbo raised his hand.

“Okay, so, what if his helmet functions the same as Darth Vader’s mask? What if there’s just some kind of mechanical cheese grater that he can just put food through, so it can go through his helmet and into his mouth without too much trouble?” A bit of muttering sounded here and there, once again with sounds from Stress about how horrible that would be to get clean.

“What if… What if he just like… Photosynthesizes, man… like a flower, getting nutrients from the sunlight and from putting his feet in the dirt… how nice would that be, man...” Ren said, his drawl slow and relaxed.

“Ren, I think you had too many of those mushrooms, your Renbob is showing. Though, I think it’s quite obvious. He just uses a feeding tube to get his food in, or perhaps a straw and blendered food. It could simply go through a small hole in the helmet.” Scar then popped a few unroasted marshmallows into his mouth before continuing. “That way, there’s no mess at all.”

The theory earned him some nods, and then Cleo stood up. Slowly, to get the attention of everyone around.

“While all of you have great ideas, I think it’s obvious how it works. Evil X just eats like Sandy the Squirrel, from Spongebob.”

“And how would that be, Cleo?” Impulse asked.

“Well, he just… puts food into his mouth through the bottom of his helmet, where it connects to his armor. Of course, that means he has to open up his armor a little bit, but that’s done easily enough. I bet he has a zipper too.” She smiled widely, with a look in her eyes that said that she knew full well that there was no way that her theory was correct. It made Joe sigh dramatically.

“What is wrong with all of y’all?! He would just take off his helmet and eat like a normal person!” False raised her hand.

“I gotta stop you there, Joe. We both know that he can’t breathe Overworld air unaided, like X can’t either. So, let me propose the following: He takes a whiff of his inhaler so he got air for a little bit, then he takes off the helmet and he just starts shoveling in as much food as he can before putting his helmet back on. And then he repeats that until he’s done eating.”

“I can live with that,” Joe said, and then he looked over at Zedaph. “That seems like a good and valid theory, right?”

“It certainly does, Joe! But… Since we’re nearing the end of the episode, why don’t we ask X for some clarity? If anyone knows, it would be him. Let’s see how close we got, everyone!” He then proceeded to pull Xisuma to his feed, and pushed him to be behind the host desk. It made the admin chuckle, but he took on the role that was apparently expected of him.

“It’s quite simple, actually,” Xisuma started, “Just like me, he can use a breathing tube so he can just take off-”

He then got interrupted by Grian yelling “STOMACH MOUTH! STOMACH MOUTH!” repeatedly at the top of his lungs, because he couldn’t quite believe how easy and boring the solution was. Xisuma looked over at him with a raised eyebrow, and then he just shook his head as the Hermits around started laughing. He loved those idiots.

[spruce-button]

A Scraped YHS Fic

I put about an hour into writing this altogether. I didn't have a plot for it at all and didn't know what i was gonna do with it. I then made a plot for another fic that would have cancelled these 1300 words in five seconds so I'm not going to work on this anymore. I thought about deleting it but figured that someone might want to read this and it could be a intro into my writing. Sorry for any mistakes, I wrote this on my phone. So here you guys go.

    ---

Prologue

     ---

     Grian was just visiting. He was going to leave as soon as he could and didn't plan on visiting again. He had things at home to deal with. Yet he went back and got stuck. He couldn't leave now. He was to blame for all of this. Grian had to help Taurtis.

     Or was he Taurtis?

     It doesn't matter. He had to help the person he was supposed to be. He didn't care what he had to do to help everyone he could and fix things. He had to get rid of Sam.

     Oh did he love hearing Sam's bones crack everytime he was pushed off the ladder and he loved watching Sam crawl around the school.

     Grian won't ever admit it, though.

     It was quite refreshing to see after hearing the blood hit the ground after Rowan was stabbed.

     He'll forget about it at some point. Well, he hoped he did.

     Grian's throat was burning and he wanted to die. His throat was closing up around the sharp plastic he was swallowing. His tears were pouring into the cuts on his cheeks and into his mouth. His tears tasted better than the plastic and stomach acid.

     He hadn't eaten anything other than plastic and stale, crumbled chips in weeks. He was desperate for anything else. Grian was going crazy and he wished for Rowan's help. Or anybody's validation. Maybe just a carrot.

     He felt so frail and useless. He was nothing.

     And you better not forget that.

     He was pressed up against a wall again. This one was so much colder than the one in the kissing shed. It was in a house he didn't want to be in and he was hearing voices he didn't want to hear. This wasn't right. He deserved it, though. 

     "What's up with Taurtis? He's so weird."

     "I don't know, dude. He's been acting so weird lately. I think he's gone a bit crazy."

     They would start laughing later. It was a little too much for him. He couldn't move himself from the corner. His hands were shaking and he couldn't feel his hands. The plastic hurt so much.

     Grian's heart was racing by this point and his vision got sharper. He rubbed his eyes, they stung. He was so tired.

     He woke up to Sam kicking his foot. His back hurt and he wasn't registering what Sam was saying to Jerry, but he got up anyway.

     He never wanted to wake up.

     In his dreams he felt safe. There were people who still cared for him and gave him proper attention. It was in a world that didn't exist and where he found people he loved. He had friends there.

     At some point during the day Sam had swung his arm around his neck and squeezed a little too hard for a little too long and he developed bruises. Okami was concerned when they got to school and told Rowan, but they didn't do anything. Ellen took him home and helped him. That was enough for now.

     He sat next to his girlfriend quietly. She didn't really talk and Grian had no reason to. She gave him some sort of warmth and he loved her but it wasn't enough for him. He would never tell her. He had no right to tell her what he wanted when she had been so kind to help out while the adults did what they could from afar. Sam ruined his life and he couldn't take much anymore.

     Silly visited him the next day when Sam and Jerry disappeared. It was comforting knowing that there was someone else there for him. With each day he was becoming more like her and she seemed to be more open to him. That was also nice.

     She brought kind words with a kind voice and apologized on her parents' behalf, they hadn't been there for him much after Rowan was stabbed. It was too dangerous for the family. Silly assured Grian that they were getting someone to help him. Someone who was more capable of protecting and comforting him. He was glad. He wouldn't have to deal with Sam much longer.

     When Sam and Jerry got back they were off. Sam was irritated and Jerry seemed upset, which scared Grian immensely. He was scared of what would happen to him.

     Jerry went off to bed but Sam stayed up. He said that he needed to spend some alone time with his best friend.

     "Taurtis you are making our new friend feel unwelcome and I don't see why you have to go and do that." Sam's words were simple and terrifying, Grian has heard them so many times yet they keep on getting worse with each passing day. He constantly thought about them and how they were affecting him.

     "I don't mean to." They had a script now, the conversation would usually end like that. With Grian's half apology and Sam going to bed, but Sam sat down on the couch.

     "I'm going to need more than that Taurtis. It's not enough. You're absolutely worthless." That he was.

     "Well-I I am having a hard time. This is a little much for you and you won't admit it." Grian didn't know exactly what to say exactly, Sam broke off of the usual script. Grian was thinking for himself at that moment and he felt like he had crossed a line.

     "Taurtis, I'm going to need you to try a little harder you're being a terrible friend and your not acting like yourself, go and eat your Toritos."

     Grian was lost. He needed to go home, to his actual home he left with his parents and back to his cat that he missed so much. He was forgetting what it was like to be happy or be with someone who he cared for and each conversation pushed him further down the rabbit hole. God did he miss his cat.

     He wanted something good from this place. He wanted at least one good memory that wasn't tainted in blood soaked sand or manipulation. He knew that was too much to ask for. It was hopeless.

    ---

Chapter 1

  ---

Taurtis' sweat bands were starting to get sticky and smelled absolutely terrible. Grian's wrists were too small for them and definitely not made for him. He didn't fit them but Sam made sure that he'd grown into them.

Grian was bothered that he couldn't think for himself, so he thought about it constantly. He was in high school, he shouldn't have to worry about abuse from his friend's, he should be worrying about who he was going to hang out with next or his girlfriend that he hasn't been able to even look at for a week. It got so bad that in the few breaks from his thoughts he would wonder if she actually existed. Surely the girl he liked with the purple hair and one less eye was real, right?

Ellen was one of the only lights shining through the blinds in Grian's mind. He couldn't not have her. She had to be real. But she wasn't and he now knew this. He was alone.

Silly helped out, though. She gave him support and soft laughs. It never lasted long.

Oh God he was stuck down Sam's rabbit hole and it was getting deeper and darker every day.

There was no Taurtis to help him anymore.

The concrete started to hurt Grian's feet after an hour of walking around town with Sam, Yuki, and Jerry. Yuki had been trying to get sam to buy her food for ten minutes now and Sam had surprisingly been ignoring her squeal and whines. It gave Grian a headache from his place behind the three so it must of been so much worse up ahead.

Yuki eventually gave up when Jerry asked Sam if they could go to the manga shop. She knew there wasn't any good food around the manga shop and the only snacks were JerryKats and Toritos and she refused to even look at the things. If Grian had the choice he wouldn't go within ten meters of either but he didn't. 

He tried his best not to pay attention to what Sam was saying anymore, it was all useless or aggressive and hurt people who were hearing in and he didn't want to be hurt anymore. Today, though, was strange. He couldn't help but listen. Grian didn't know exactly why but it was probably Sam' glances around the area when they would pause their walk or the strange panicked changes in their route to downtown and the random cuts through people's lawns.

"I swear to god someone is watching us, Jerry. I bet Taurtis back there is trying to do something weird, let's ditch him." Sam whispered something else to Taurtis and they ran from him. He was too frail and exhausted to run with them but he still tried to catch up, he didn't know what he'd do if they left him. He failed miserably and eventually lost his footing and fell into a bush in front of a small store.

Grian sat there, confused and dizzy. His lungs hurt and refused to get up. He much rather sit there full of dread than die in the middle of an alleyway he'd eventually pass out in if he continued.

His skin became raw and red from and the tiny scratches made by bush twigs and his shirt tore. Sam was going to kill him.

A few people passed by the half asleep Grian before Okami found him and called for her husband. Rowan came and helped Grian to the school. It was safer than Sam's house. Grian couldn't go back there for a bit in his current state, he needed to be patched up and to at least sleep in a chair instead of a room corner.

Grian had gone to sleep and Rowan left to go make actual food for him as Okami watched him. She had always felt terrible for leaving him at Sam's house and not helping him and she knew Rowan did too, it was just too much for Silly and they needed to protect their daughter. They did what they could for the time being and tried to get anyone to come help them. It was very difficult.

Grian slept for a very long time. Rowan's food had gone cold and Okami had to leave, but Rowan stayed, he failed Grian once before and couldn't do it again.

The morning was better for Grian.

[votederpycausemufins]

I said I had another chapter ready. so It's time to post that.

tagging @helleborusangel because they like my writing and @hermitcraftheadcanons since they and their community made the au.

now... with that out of the way, let's recap evo... wait shoot i mean hermitcraft.

“Pixlriffs! Turn on the tv!” Came a voice that followed a door being slammed open.

Pixlriffs turned around in confusion to see Zloy having barged in, panting with his goggles askew. “Zloy? What’s going on?”

“Just turn on the recap channel! Hurry!”

Even more confused, Pixl slowly turned to his tv and turned it on, switching to the channel that showed their recap show. “I thought you didn’t like watching our own shows. It’s not even a regular recap, it’s just going to be a clip show from the livestream. Why are you so-” But he cut himself off. Showing on screen was a countdown to the season eight day one recap. “What? But it hasn’t started. We haven’t recorded anything.”

“I know! I was with a friend and they turned it on and said they didn’t think it had started yet. When I saw the countdown, I ran all the way over here.”

“Do you think they just had a scheduling mistake? We might need to call the broadcasters and have them fix things up.” Pixl suggested, and Zloy shrugged.

“Let’s just make sure that’s the case and see which episode they’re actually showing. For all we know they mixed things up and this is just the season seven, day one.”

“I hope that’s the case.”

The two recapers watched the timer go down. Elsewhere, people were also turned into the episode. Some were pleasantly surprised by the supposed new episode. Others were confused thinking the schedule was wrong. Those who knew the hermits were confused, not having heard the new season was starting yet.

Then finally, the timer reached zero, and a familiar jingle started. And then a voice that was definitely not Pixlriffs spoke the phrase “This week, on Hermitcraft.”

“Wait, what am I doing in the nether? I just joined the world.”

Zloy and Pixl looked at each other at something they had never heard Keralis say. This was a new episode, but one they hadn’t made.

“A new adventure starts in season eight, new places and mobs to explore and see. And also Grumbot and Jrumbot are Hermits now. Welcome to the Hermitcraft recap! The show where no one is where they should be. My name is Toon Noah.”

“I’m Mysterious Goofball, and our writer is Pin Valentine. Today, we’re looking at everyone’s first day on the new season of Hermitcraft.”

The first person, Noah, spoke up again. “In this season, the hermits managed to update all the way to the second half of the caves and cliffs update even though that isn’t possible.” He explained what was going on in this season. “Everyone is scattered across the map and even in other dimensions. Monsters are tough, regen is off, and using chat is out of the question, so surviving is going to be tough.”

“At the very least, they can still respawn, so certain people have chances to escape. Escape what that is? Well, let’s look at what the Hermits have been up to.” Goofball said, sounding so nonchalant about what they were about to talk about.

“Starting with Xisuma, who’s started out in the deep dark. The admin’s helmet has been disabled other than necessary functions. His visor also gives him a little bit of light, so he’s not completely blind. Plus the fact that sculks are bioluminescent. But the warden is too, which has been able to find him a number of times.”

“Also in the caves in Jevin,-” Goofball spoke up again. “-who’s found himself in some lush caves. He’s got glowberries for light and food and the axolotls are pretty friendly. Plus, with enough searching, he was able to find a bit of wood for simple tools.”

“Speaking of wood. Some of the hermits have found themselves in the jungle.” Noah quickly commented before some audio from one of the hermits played along with its clip.

“Helloooo? Anyone around? Impulse? Tango? Hey is that Grian? Nope, just a parrot. Ugh, and here I am without any seeds.”

Goofball spoke up again when the audio finished. “Both Zedaph and Tango are in the same jungle, but the size of the biome as well as the amount of foliage means they haven’t found each other yet. Tango at the very least has started mining, and Zedaph managed to find a jungle temple and has already started on using the redstone from there for a melon farm.”

“How do you even make a farm out of that?”

“It’s Zedaph, what do you expect?”

“Well, as for the last of team ZIT, Impulse had found himself in the middle of a sea temple.” Noah spoke, as the video showed Impulse dealing with being underwater in such a place. “Between drowning and guardians, he hasn’t gotten that far away from his spawn.”

“In other aquatic news-” Goofball said, another clip from the hermits playing.

“If I never see coral again, it’ll be too- wait, is that False? False!”

“-Stress and False are also nearby to each other, both spawning in coral reefs. False was the first to escape, needing to just swim out of her spawn.”

“On the other hand, Stress was completely encased in coral and had to slowly chip herself out of the colorful prison. But by the evening, Stress was able to get to the surface and join False and an island, chopping down trees. They even started a wheat farm. But here’s hoping they don’t have to deal with drowned.”

“While she isn’t a drowned,” Goofball continued from Noah’s comment. “Zombie Cleo started out in a village. Normally, that would be pretty good, but being a zombie…”

“Leave me alone! I’m not going ta kill any villagers! I’m a zombie but I’m not that kind of zombie!”

“She’s been having an issue with the resident iron golem. With a bit of luck, she managed to hole herself up in a house which the golem isn’t going to destroy, but the villagers aren’t the happiest about it.”

Then Noah took over speaking. “From villagers to illagers, Mumbo Jumbo found himself alone in a woodland mansion, making himself the furthest hermit in the overworld.”

“Come on. Almost. Almost!” The video showed Mumbo running before he was killed by a vindicator. “Oh come on!”

After that, Noah continued. “He’s tried and failed many times to try and get out of the mansion, but eventually just started breaking the walls for tools.”

“The illagers aren’t really happy about it, but not like he’ll be going far, so I don’t think he’ll easily lose those tools.”

“Well at least he’s got supplies.” The video transitioned to a mountain top with three figures standing at the peak. “Grian, as well as new hermits Grum and Jrum are currently stuck on the top of a mountain, surrounded by powder snow. It’s pretty lucky that the three of them stuck together.”

“I’m not so sure of that.” Goofball spoke up, sounding a bit frustrated or annoyed. “While Grian tried to fly down for supplies to little success, other than fall damage, he hasn’t managed to die, using some sort of magic.”

“But it looks like the fall damage came in handy for Doc, who’s further down the mountain. He’s having a bit of trouble surrounded by goats, plenty of them being the screaming variety.”

Goofball spoke again, no longer sounding as annoyed. “Yeah, but while hanging out with them, he heard a different kind of scream and did something pretty smart.”

“Wait, what was- is someone close by? It sounded like someone just- wait! The death messages!” He pulled out his communicator and read the messages. “Grian died to fall damage! Grian’s up there!”

“I guess he is the scientist of the group.” Noah spoke, the grin he had on his face audible in his voice. “It makes sense he would be the one to figure things out. But even then, he still can’t easily get down the mountain himself with all the goats messing him up. My guess is he’s really regretting being the goat father last season.”

“Doc isn’t the only one getting familiar with the new wildlife though. Hypno has found himself in a large flower forest that has plenty of mooblooms. He hasn’t been able to kill any of them yet, and there’s only flowers and no grass for him to get seeds from, so while the place seems like it should be easy to survive in, it’s really the opposite.”

“The best idea he’s had so far is following some bees to find their nest and hopefully a tree attached to it. If only he knew he was actually really close to spawn, being the closest to it.”

Goofball took control of the conversation again “Well, that’s not entirely true as three hermits managed to appear at spawn, those three being Joe Hills, VintageBeef, and Etho.” And the three hermits were shown in what looked much more normal than everything else that had been shown so far. “The three of them pretty quickly figured out something was wrong and started to make spawn a safe place, also gathering supplies so they can eventually find the other hermits.”

“Except Etho got a bit ahead of himself.” Noah cut in. “He had a bad run in with some mobs and ended up dying, finding out his respawn is a bit different than others. But at the very least, he managed to find Ren.”

“Ren spawned on a cliff of a ravine. There’s no water at the bottom, and all the blocks in reach are stone, so it’s not the easiest to escape from. Still, with little else to do, Ren started slowly chipping away at the stone to escape the ravine, only to fall when Etho surprised him by suddenly respawning there.”

“Okay, I got through two more pieces of stone. At this rate, I can probably get to dirt before the sun is setting so- Etho- ooooooh!”

“At the very least Ren is respawning just fine,” Noah explained “So the two of them were able to help Ren escape the ravine, so he’s the third person to escape his spawn area.”

“Well, that’s not entirely true.” Goofball started to correct. “Before Etho helped Ren and even before Stress escaped her coral prison, Cub actually escaped the mesa mineshaft he spawned in. It was a little tricky with the cave spiders spawning, but he lucked out with the loot of a chest and was able to get a crafting table and pickaxe out of it.” Cub had found some iron, torches, a few seeds, some bread, and then used the wood of the mineshaft to get him on his feet in terms of survival. “With a few respawns, he took out the spiders and their spawner. He’s able to move around freely, but not wanting to respawn again, his hearts are a bit low, so he’s staying near the mineshaft for shelter.”

“Then, sort of nearby the mesa of course, is the desert, where the last two overworld hermits are.” Noah said, and there was the slightest ruffle of papers, like he was checking a script. “Both XB and Iskall are stuck in the same large desert, trying to find some source of food, water and wood. So far, the best they’ve found are the sticks from dead bushes. Out of the two, XB is doing a bit better since he’s found a cave for some sort of shelter, but Iskall’s much worse off,the sand messing with his one eye.”

“Between the heat, the sand, and my eye, I can’t even tell what’s real anymore. That cactus could be a tree or a town or- nope! It’s actually a creeper!”

And then Noah continued with a transition. “Getting even hotter now, let’s look at the nether. There’s only two hermits there right now, with different struggles to deal with.”

“Keralis is the first and lucked out a bit, landing himself in a warped forest right near a basalt delta, meaning he’s got up to stone tools. Plus, since nether gold ore can be mined with wood tools or better, he’s also got some gold boots to help with any piglins.”

“On the other hand, Welsknight is in a much worse situation. He spawned in a crimson forest and is having plenty of trouble with the hoglins.” And that was emphasized by a clip of Wels being killed by one of the mobs. “He hasn’t gotten too much wood before dying, but at the very least, he secured his spawn just enough he has some room to breathe. And hey, if he makes it out of there, he’s got a fortress nearby. But now to end this off, let’s head to the end.”

“TinfoilChef, or TFC is on the main end island, spawning on an obsidian platform just a few blocks from the edge of the island.” Goofball spoke. “It’s close enough for him to jump, but he still takes fall damage and has to deal with the ender dragon after that.”

“Not to mention the endermen too, which Scar is also having trouble with. He’s stuck on a smallish end island out in the further reaches of the end. There’s an end city nearby, but he doesn’t really have the means to get there. At the very least he’s got food from the chorus plants, but that won’t help too terribly much.”

“And lastly, there’s BdoubleO, who we’ve- who’s been lucky to not die so far being in a special situation.” Though they hadn’t been saying much, both Pixlriffs and Zloy noticed the slight slip up Goofball gave. “He’s currently looping in the end void, teleporting up to the top when he finally gets too low. There’s nothing in sight for him to know that though, so he thinks he’s just falling deeper and deeper. But hopefully he’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Well, that’s everyone, so that pretty much does it for this episode of Ev- Hermitcraft Recap. I was Toon Noah-”

“And I was Mysterious Goofball and our writer was Pin Valentine. If you’d like to see original content made by us, you can find us if you already know where to look.”

“Don’t forget to give this show a good rating and tune in next week for the next episode of Hermitcraft Recap. Thank you all so much for watching and good-Bye~!”

Finally, the screen turned black, signalling the end of the episode. The whole time, Pixl and Zloy had just sat there in shock, watching the episode and not saying anything. The thought of their show being taken over by some new people was scary enough, but the situations the Hermits were now in was so much worse.

Zloy was the first to move, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He had felt it going off during the episode, but had been too stunned to do anything. Apparently, he had missed multiple calls and texts about what had happened with the episode, who had been put in charge, what was with the hermits, and more related to the whole situation.

“We need to see someone about this.” Pixlriffs said, in a similar situation with looking at his phone. “Make sure people know we have no connection to this and hopefully also see if the studio knows who recorded this. I would also like to say that this is all fake, but…”

“Yeah, that footage looked way too real. I think the Hermits are actually in a lot of trouble right now.”

“Then let’s do something about it.”