#and also myself and my own brain
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stop telling me I need to move out challenge (impossible)
#I know living here is not good for me#but I can't go back on my word and I'm trying to make the best of it#It's only making me mad fam#I need to believe everything is fine before I screw up another thing#I am no longer ready to up and go like I had been I need more time to prepare#and my hand to God I am so tired#this rant is directed at simultaneously no one and several people#and also myself and my own brain#I am scared and no one is helping#babsisbabbling
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so just know, I'm healing / even though it don't feel like it
insp
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#good evening it is past midnight and i am here furthering the itfs scar kissing agenda#stumbled across the insp pic buried in my likes and i went oh this is relevant in the opposite direction :) I Can Use This :)#op has some of my fav itfs fanart ill b so real n tht piece ws swimming around in my brain fr Days#so i told myself today my reward for submitting my zine checkin wld b drawing yuuji kissing megumi's scars#also pls observe. /this/ is what i mean when i say tht megumi receiving affection looks like he is unsure and in mild pain#Does Not Know How To Respond To Affection Even From His Own Boyfriend.png#i LOVE drawing megu with this expression so sosos much the downcast sidelong gaze + furrowed brow.....#its SO good#also idk what i did with his hair here but the render actually turned out so well ?? best megu hair to date every1 pls clap#not 2 mention th shape of yuuji's bangs???? pats self on th back no offense but i am on fire w these boys' hair lately#that being said i decided i did not want to render anything else ddfdfjjghdjgf i got tired#kept the rest flat n took the opportunity to play around w light chromatic abberation on the scars#idk if any1 noticed but i found th retro film filter n used it a bunch on my recent comic#its so convenient it comes w built in noise n everything!!!!!!#anyway . caption is salt fv <333 if u care <333333#i think it is also a megu song but like . a post-canon megu song#i thought this wld take longer bc i was planning on rendering everything so i cracked an energy drink and am tragically awake#shld i start smth new we shall see smile :)
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Side effects of wearing your sentient Kaiju suit too often ,,,,
#hoshina soshiro#kn8#kaiju no. 8#my art#kaiju no 10#hoshi10#FINALLY I GOT TO DRAW BODYMERGE HOSHI10#this is my favourite form of existence for them my brain is spinninnggggg#it's so sexy to me to imagine hoshina trying to take off the suit and he just can't get it off without peeling his own skin off shcjsnfjs#10 so pleased with this situation#hoshina panic but also he cant tell anyone becazse then they'd definitely take 10 away from him#and we don't want that#brain spinning so hsrd i hope he curls up in his room and hides while the suit slowly merges ro his body#until one of his boyfriends finds him ofc hhhhh#rushing him to medical but they can't change him back to human anymore#can you see I've been thinking about this ancjsixbsia#I'll see myself out
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Child of the spirit
#trying to refine my artstyle with this#also forcing myself to stick to MY OWN choices and not to copy someone else’s#STFU BRAIN WE DONT HAVE TO BE LIKE THEM WE CAN BE OUR OWN PERSON#my art#art#digital art#sketch#scp#scp foundation#scp fanart#scp 166#scp fan art#meri and the halo#concept art#meridiana wojciechoski#meri wojciechowski#meri clef#meri#so ummmm#im naming my meri drawings btw
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You gave those wounds to your god, Enki. Did you think they would heal so easily?
(Uh Oh! Someone gave the priest catholic guilt!)
#fear and hunger#enki ankarian#fear and hunger enki#funger#digital art#csp#illustration#my art#pixel art#enki#hiiiiiiiiiiii so fear and hunger is great!#played it for 4 hours last night for the first time and I love it 🥰 I’ve made a half hours progress lol#I keep losing the save coin tosses#I can’t believe this is what it took to make my art brain turn back on smh it’s patho all over again 🤣#not surprisingly enki is my fav immediately a sickly rude wizard priest? yeah that’s my number lol#fun fact I edited a wiki for the first time while making this#his page didn’t have his crucifixion dialogue and I couldn’t find a transcript anywhere#so I had to go find a video with the scene so I could transcribe it myself#and I was so annoyed by the end I added it to the wiki 😂 hopefully I did it right I copied the format of the rest of the page#(note that I didn’t even own the game at this point akkajdksdj)#also! this is partially based on a fic I read! it got me thinking about how he’s walking around w stigmata#also part of why I even knew there was crucifixtion dialogue#I’ll link it in a reblog I don’t remember the name rn#oh wait should I tag this for blood? idk#tw blood#insects
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#testing testing 123#not bien but this would send 15 year old avo into cardiac arrest#senator shockwave#i followed a tutorial online how to color and thats the best i came up with#im lying there was no tutorial. i looked at this one image until my brain started bleeding#maccadam#also yeh this is new. clap clap clap clap you drew omg avo--SHADDAP#this is somehow high effort and low effort at the same time. ive confused myself#i need to find transformers artists to study. ill start with seafood pie#i cant for the life of me even begin to comprehend what any of these materials are#wait wtf this comic has been out for 12 years? ill drink to that#my special mgtrn lunchable is waiting for me#something about being into tf again makes me crave beauty#i want to capture it. hold it a little. and then release it again from my own hands
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I think it's fun when people give themselves titles like "CEO of insert ship name here," but then it makes me think there can be only one biggest fan.
To me it feels more like we are members of the Board of Directors for a ship. A team of stakeholders, if you will.
Perhaps the ship itself is the CEO and we are its member representatives, contributing to its success and outreach. But not in it for the money, just to spread the love!
#is my “corporate office worker” showing? lmao#I have to make org charts this week so now I've got employee hierarchy on the brain#I'm proud to be a metadede member representative bahaha#also I don't think there's anything wrong with declaring oneself the CEO of a ship#there could be a billion CEOs of different departments of a ship yknow!? throw away the hierarchy! we are all our own bosses!! :D#I'm just spitballing with metaphors here until the original corporate hierarchy source material loses its meaning lol#alright enough with the corporate babble I must return to my spreadsheets!!!#I'm just distracting myself from the world#jojo rambles
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1 : Soap never had any idea that woman wanted him carnally, he's not the most observant on that front (he never noticed Ghost flirting with him and thought his love was one-sided for the longest time, but tbf Ghost was also very discreet about it)
2 : He sewed the hat, eyepatch and hook himself, because he's the best uncle and then got distracted as he was wrapping it up, so now he's watching a tutorial on youtube about how to build a voice box. Honestly how hard could it be, he builds explosive devices as a hobby (listen, Price doesn't have to know)
3 : He is out to his family, but doesn't want his mum to know he has a boyfriend because he knows she'll insist on meeting him and welcoming him to the family and making a big deal out of this, and he knows that Ghost isn't ready for that.
4 : Christmas is obviously a very hard time for Ghost, but he is very very in love with Soap and some days still can't believe that it's mutual, but then his Johnny does something like that and his head gets quieter while he's melting a bit.
5 : For the people that didn't see my other post : the bird is a Caique parrot, and they're supposedly very energetic, a bit loud, medium sized, unintelligible, very friendly to what they consider their family, adventurous and danger prone, with an explosive personality and a hate of boredom, so basically the adhd bird.
#cod mw2#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost is hard edges and sharp knives but simon is babygirl#i tried my best to make soap's sister look as much like soap as possible#as someone whose siblings look nothing like them i find it hilarious i have no idea why i swear i have the weirdest sense of humour#hc that simon's very first wait no second actually bc i feel like the first special interest for every child with autism is dinosaurs#but wait plot twist birds are dinosaurs so still hc that simon's first (or second if you want) special interest was birds#and he still loves them very much and both soap and his sister have adhd and his sister has a reoccurring hyperfixation on birds#and soap thinks ghost and his sister could get along very easily and is waiting very impatiently for the day ghost is ready and he can#introduce him to his family#but also ghost is very wary of families and especially since there's a young child because he's scared that he'll bring them death like he#feels he did to his own family#i initially wanted to colour it but then i wondered why my brain was working against me and very quickly decided that colouring all that#would be a nightmare and that i already hate colouring so why would i want to torture myself#anyway pls be nice with me i've given all i had to make this lmao
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#rogue trader#heinrix van calox#theciya von valancius#solanj art#heinrix x von valancius#just a little something to cheer myself up#I feel a little bad for fandom tagging a piece which from the outside probably isn't even recognizable as fandom#but I need those tags to be able to navigate my own blog#sorry!#also I'm so insane about these two you have no idea#can I have at least an itty-bitty portion of my brain back?#please?#Owlcats?#Anyone?..#I really need that brain to do stuff you know#like work#and certainly NOT to be daydreaming 24/7!
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can we see more of your comic with Winter King being:
Hey! I do my best to update as often as I can, and thank you so much for reading it! I appreciate the heck outta all the reblogs and comments and all that!
Updates might have to slow down a bit though, I do all the writing, drawing, coloring- the whole process is me! And doing as much as I've done for the last month has been a bit insane so I'm trying to have a better comic/life balance. That, and work balance. Comics are my passion but they unfortunately do not pay my mortgage!
Don't you worry though! It'll update soon, I'm working on coloring page 4 of the chapter, but YEAH I definitely have to slow down from my insane pace a bit.
#cqchat#adventurechat#I'll still update a LOT just not the insane pace I have been#I havent read any books in like weeks and thats my big passion!#also... should probably work on that social life a bit lol#Also I'm going on a giant road trip in a few weeks!#my girlfriend broke up with me and thats bummed me out majorly#I have an event in Grand Junction Colorado and another one in Salt Lake City Utah#and driving home between events is an insane amount of hours so instead I'm gonna roam the beautiful southwest#maybe do some rafting? Get my brain in a nice place <3#I'm so glad you love the story and I love it SO much myself#its taken over my life! but I also gotta slow myself down for my own good#Also the events are Mesa County Comic Con and Salt Lake FanX#come meet me if you're going!!
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“Arthur can totally dress himself he’s just spoiled” why are you giving him that much credit
#no but seriously#this bitch has every symptom#being able to consistently dress independently would genuinely be a miricle at this point#he has constant meltdowns easily manipulated anger issues#admits that Merlin is his ONE AND ONLY FREIND#so that’s definitely a social deficit if I’ve ever seen one#he’s dumb as a tone of bricks and I can say that bc I am also#and noble insest WAS THE NORM.#you wanna know why king George lost amercia?#HIS BRAIN WAS FUCKED UP. HIS GENES WERE FUXKED UP#but like#anyways#key word constantly dressings himself#bc every disabled person will tell you that abilities are such a spectrum#back when I couldn’t dress myself it fluxuated wether I could or couldn’t and to what degree until i eventually couldn’t do it at all#also arthur can technically do it#but rare times and even when he does it’s shit#sometimes doing a task is technically possible but it takes 25 years off your life#bc of stress and just. god it’s so complicated and overwhelming#and even if you DO it it’s not even worth it#bc it’s shit#I will die on this hill btw#from my own little galaxy world#merlin#bbc merlin#merlin bbc
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Listen. Listen to me. Having privilege in one form or another, even situational and conditional privilege, doesn't de facto make you a bad person. A transmasc that applies to a job with their chosen name, whether or not that transmasc passes otherwise, will have privilege over a transfem applying to that same job, because of societal sexism. That doesn't suddenly mean that transmasc is a violent asshole putting transfems at risk, it just means that as a transmasc you gotta be more cognizant of how you navigate the world. It doesn't mean you don't experience oppression. It doesn't even mean you don't experience oppression unique to being transmasc! What it DOES mean is that whether you like it or not, your relationship to women and non-men are inherently different than they would be if you were a woman. And you're gonna have to reckon with that. You can't stop women you don't know from viewing you as a potential threat, but you can use what privilege you may have if you're stealth or pass to advocate for women, and trans women, and other trans men, and to. Y'know. Check yourself once in a while and make sure you're not falling into the toxic masculinity and patriarchal mindset so many of us have already suffered at the hands of.
#spitblaze says things#[posts this and logs off]#okay not really. but i will not be fucking engaging in debates about your wild-ass conjecture about my words or myself#transmascs get a lot of undue shit! we do! but a lot of us also end up taking stuff that is not actually undue personally#and like. ive been there. im not immune to getting in my own head about shit#ur not a bad person if you have either#just like. take a step back and look at the big picture. thats it#is this the most elegant. no#am i an expert. no#will i make a more articulate post later. maybe#i just had a brain blast and decided to make my own post rather than write an entire book in the tags of someone else’s post
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#not art (yet!!!!)#preddy good kristen I got goin on in this piece#for some reason my brain isnt letting me do this one. been stalling on it for a good few days. but I intend to break thru it#I need to put this on paper at least once#(its space sweepers. I think it would be funny if the kids are in that universe too but theyre just like off to the side doing their own#thing pretty much unrelated to the main plot. theyre delivery people. theyre all still teens. they get up to shenanigans and then#one day they look up like huh the guy who founded eden fucking died?? when#kristen specifically I got a decent amount hashed out in my brain somehow. she's like an engineered messiah with a grafted engine#along her upper body skeleton that'd let her spontaneously rearrange objects on a molecular level#so she can theoretically knit wounds or cure diseases by thinking abt it very hard#sadly the engine of course takes enormous amount of energy to power. so most of the time in practice she just#has a half-metal skeleton that doesn't do anything. so she's buff as shit on the upper side and one of her punches can break your neck#but her mobility is limited and she sprains her ankles like every other week. her shins have broken like a few times#I genuinely love the way her shoes n braces look in this one its very fun#there are a lot of choices I made in this one that are so fun and also just like. a result of putting them in space sweepers#and thinking to myself here and there hey this would be cool if it harkens back to their canon designs#not riz tho other than being human he is fully exactly like how he looks in canon. hes just like that#hes the navigator and he charts their courses by hand with a school calculator#(also technically their legal counselor since he's sorta responsible for not putting them in traffic control's hands)#drawing this does make me realise a lot of these dynamics are really fun lol. idk if Im gonna ever do anything like proper for this but#at the very least if I draw this the idea will be out there)
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I'm rewatching Kremy and Gid's wedding and I'm so happy that I did, because I missed Richie saying this line originally.
Nikkie: Kremy you're walking very closely behind, you are technically and legally married to Gideon.
Richie: I guess common law really, probably nothing really changes.
My beautiful, beautiful boy 🤩
#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#kremy lecroux#gideon coal#Usually I'm playing a game and I'll miss parts when they all start making a lot of noise#but not this time#And also yes#I am actively avoiding watching farther into the series by not finishing ep. 40#and actively choosing to rewatch my favorite episodes instead#as long as my brain worms persist I am not breaking my own heart#and that's on knowing something's coming and saving myself#because as soon as my emotions turn there's no turning back on them#and frankly I'm scared#I also got four days left#so I'm making the most of my happiness before I'm miserable until December and have no time
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Okay so something about the spiderbit wedding has been sitting in the back of my mind for awhile now and I don't know if anyone's talked about it but I just recently figured out the words to articulate it (kind of) so here we go!
Prior to the q!spiderbit wedding, a lot of the fanart/fanfics I saw/read depicted Cellbit waiting at the altar while Roier is walked down the aisle by either Foolish or Vegetta. Which makes sense! It keeps with the idea of the father "giving away" the bride (or in this case, the groom) at the wedding, which wouldn't be possible for Cellbit since he doesn't have any parental figures on the island. So, I was a little surprised when the wedding day came and Cellbit was the one to walk down the aisle while Roier waited at the altar. I was a bit disappointed at first---they missed a chance to do a sweet little spin on a wedding tradition! (Found family* my beloved <3)
But then I kept thinking---something about Cellbit walking down the aisle. Something about Cellbit walking down the aisle. Something about Cellbit walking down the aisle to the altar where Roier, his soon-to-be husband and trusted confidant, stands; where Felps, his best friend whom he just got back from an unknown fate, stands; where Forever, the friend he wronged but never lost faith in and wants to do right by going forward, stands.
Something about Cellbit being alone and walking himself down the aisle towards them like he is making an active choice. After the fear and the isolation, pushing others away and hurting those close to him so he could make himself a martyr because he felt like he had to face the Federation alone and that he could only rely on himself---now choosing to walk towards the altar where they stand---walking towards his happy ending.
Because this is his happy ending. I'm not at all an advocate for the idea of "oh romance/marriage is the only thing that will make you happy in life" but not only is being married to Roier something Cellbit desperately wants, this wedding means so much more than just getting married.
Of course, this isn't really the end, but for someone like Cellbit, it's a start. A new beginning. A brand new chapter of love, friendship, and trust. So yes, Cellbit walks down the aisle at his wedding, and he does it alone, and he does it because he deserves it, and he does it because he wants to, and he does it because he has to, and he does it because he needs this.
*I would just like to note that found family does not have to follow a nuclear formula with parent-child roles and I don't wish to propagate this misconception. That's just how Roier's family is structured in canon. Foolish and Vegetta are boyfriends and Roier calls them (or at least Foolish) "dad" that's just how it is and it is beautiful <3
Also apologies if I get any lore wrong. I'm not a Roier or Cellbit main viewer but I learn a lot through what I do watch of their streams and what I absorb through my dash. Hopefully this still makes sense.
#qsmp#qsmp spiderbit wedding#spiderbit#guapoduo#qsmp cellbit#q!cellbit#spiderbit wedding#yeah i know that everyone's talking about the debates right now but ive been busy all week and im behind on vods#so here have a spiderbit wedding word-vomit post and ill talk about the debates later (maybe)#im reading this back to myself after posting and boy i sure do love italics huh lmao#edit: tiny amendment to this post (bc my brain wont shut up) but i should note that ofc jaiden is also part of roier's little family-#-but i didn't include her in the footnotes bc this post was already getting long and tbh the different kinds of families-#-on the island deserves its own post but i dont have any Big thoughts on the matter apart from it's vvvvv nice to see <3#dont mind me im just rambling
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based on how i approach plotting ive come to the conclusion that even if i were morally and logically okay with becoming kira i would get the death note and think "okay, im going to make sure i come up with the perfect plan so i can't get caught", spend several months on it, refuse to execute it because it's not foolproof yet, and simply never get around to it. if ethics and reason didn't stop me from becoming kira then sheer procrastination would do the trick
#rookposting#lets track my major wips right now#p5 palace fic chapter 10 which im working on intermittently but stalled on again because of action sequences#death note canon divergence longfic which has two chapters written and more than 60 pages of planning#most of which is me cancelling my own evil plans out because im playing brain chess eith myself as L and light simultaneously#and death note ace attorney au which went from 'ill do one scene for fun' to 'this is a two day trial casefic'#'which will be interactive'#'and potentially playable '#i also need t o finish writing my job application.s. for fandom: my career#oh fuck and also redacted projects 1 2 and 3#3 being the one i just took on because im not BUSY ENOUGh
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