#and also made Etienne say it to me a few times

[scryptids]

timothee chalamet / he/they  ———  no way is that ETIENNE DESJARDIN.. they’re a 28-year-old HUMAN notoriously known for being BRATTY  & BABIED  but there are some people who have seen them being TALENTED  &  FOCUSED.  if you ask me, they remind me a lot of long fingers stroking over the ivory keys of a piano, sheet music spread throughout the entire room in a disorganized fashion, floppy curls that just won’t get tame, and lavish parties that make him feel completely alone, but that could just be because they’re considered the PRODIGY around town. just keep an eye on them  &  see if their true colors shine through..

TW: parental death

full name: etienne maxence desjardin birthdate: december 27th age: 28 height: 5’10” occupation: concert pianist ship status: closed bio:

etienne desjardin was born to be babied; at least, that’s what he’ll tell you if you ask him

the elder twin by a mere five minutes, etienne and his brother emilien were born just a few years after their brother arsene made his way into the world, and with one older sister, it seemed that the twins completed the desjardin family perfectly

the twins (nicknamed ettie and emi respectively) could not have been more different, but they were also similar at the same time

etienne was the quieter twin, just happy to be planted next to one of his older siblings or his parents, peering over their shoulders as they carried on with whatever they were doing at the time

he loved to sit with his sister as she read, or he loved to be beside arsene as he studied french, but every so often he liked to run rampant with his twin

the desjardin family originated in maine, but when the twins were still very young, they all up and moved to texas

ettie was too young to understand that his mother was sick; she never acted like she was, and he had never been aware of where she and her sister would disappear to twice a week

but the medical system in maine was behind the times, and the decision to move wasn’t taken lightly

ettie’s older sister and father did their best to make sure the twins still had a happy childhood, and despite ettie asking too many questions, clarice would answer them vaguely before sending her brother on his merry way

after a while, they learned not to ask questions, and instead took up piano lessons as a hobby

he had a talent when it came to playing, and his teacher took notice of that pretty quickly

etienne took both group and private lessons, learning how to not only read music but to write it, and soon enough he was playing with major orchestras around the city, as well as performing solo shows in small auditoriums

it was clear that he was somewhat of a prodigy, and he let the piano become his entire life

the desjardin family home was always full of his pieces, and etienne could always be found behind the piano, playing softly 

it made his mother happy, and she would always wander her way into the piano room so she could sit there with her eyes closed and a smile on her face

etienne was enrolled in a school that specialized in music, and while he got good grades in almost every subject, he was happy for the schedule that catered specifically to his interest, and even happier that he was surrounded by students that were just like him

ettie was seventeen when he met his first real girlfriend, and to say he fell head over heels would be a severe understatement

she was a singer, and etienne made every excuse that he could in order to be around her, trailing along like a puppy with hearts in his eyes

he would treat her to weekly dates, and he had big plans for them once they graduated school

but she wasn’t as into him as he was her, and after a couple years of dating, etienne discovered that she had been cheating on him, and the news shattered his entire world

his girlfriend was the only thing etienne really had to focus on while, at home, he was watching his mother grow weaker by the day

it seemed that she had an appointment almost every single day, and after a few months of back-and-forth, she was admitted into a full-time care facility

for years, etienne watched his sister clarice wear herself thin while trying to care for their mother, as their father was tasked to take care of everything else

everyone took the desjardin matriarch’s illness differently, and they all learned how to cope in their own ways

for etienne, he focused more and more on the piano, and eventually landed himself a permanent spot in one of the local orchestras

he loved getting to dress up in his little tuxedo every night and play music for people who loved it deeply, and ettie knew that he was living his dream

but then, shortly before his twenty-seventh birthday, the desjardins faced their biggest loss

etienne’s mother finally succumbed to her illness and lost her battle, and she left behind a very large hole in all of their hearts

the kids each dealt with their grief in their own way; clarice became colder, arsene rushed off to france, and etienne threw himself deeper into his work

he performed every single night, and even took on a couple jobs working on the scores of movies

working was easier than sitting at home in sadness, and while clarice didn’t particularly like that her brother was working so much, she chose not to say anything

it’s been about two years, and etienne had finally come to terms with the loss of his mother

he’s still a very quiet individual, but he’s managed to keep a very close group of friends even despite his isolation from grief

he hasn’t dated anyone since splitting with his girlfriend, nor does he make any romantic advances towards anyone, choosing instead to focus his energy on work and his family

despite being quiet, he’s also quite goofy and has a childish sense of humor that only his siblings and close friends really get to see

sometimes etienne contemplates moving back to main for a fresh start, but he can’t bear to part with his siblings or his father, so he stays in texas to be close to him

only his family members are allowed to call him ‘ettie’, but he’s fine if everyone else calls him ‘ten’

since both of his parents were originally from france, etienne (and all of his siblings) are fluent in french, and he can often be heard speaking it exclusively

is still very much a gremlin at heart, and will go along with any scheme that his brother emi can possibly cook up (and he also cooks up a few schemes himself every now and again)

ettie is so keen on playing the piano, that he often signs himself up for open mic and talent nights, just so he can serenade a crowd for the hell of it

[escherstrange-ffxiv]

#24: Freetalk [Nonfiction]

I'm always fascinated by how others perceive Isillud and how he's developed.

(Proto-Izzy trawling Gaia DC photo studios, circa 2020. Notice the different face structure.)

Izzy was first conceived as a way to practice ERP AND poke into nightclubs (remember that Escher can't take alcohol and so has no reason to be in one), which shaped his personality. He needed to be someone who approached others. Flirty, forward, sexual. Knows exactly what he wants.

In other words, the complete opposite of me.

Making him on EU also meant I wasn't awake often enough to join nightclubs FOR the ERP. I'm a genius, yes. These combined factors just meant 95% that made Isillud *Izzy* happened in writing or off-screen, which just was the idea of him sleeping with lots and lots and lots of men.

It's okay to say it: He's a slut.

What happens after is the interesting part.

The description turned people off from his character. Ew, slut. Ew, he's only about the sex. No substance. When I finally brought him out for RP, other characters pegged him as a prostitute/someone with STDs just because he was looking for hookups.

I'm sure that comes from our personal biases: That someone sex-positive is a slut who doesn't care about protection, or that they must be doing it for the money. They're unclean from sleeping around, catching STDs left and right. It's an occasional IC joke to those who have interacted with Izzy, though limited to those who, again, knew him as a slut first.

(Proto-Izzy with new hair and specs, the main reason I didn't put glasses on him for the longest time)

Izzy wasn't a major RP chara until he met Seloix & Etienne and had an actual character arc DUMPED onto him. Suddenly I had to think of things I hadn't considered: Was Izzy using sex as a coping mechanism? (Partly) Can his arbitrary powers I pulled from my obsession with Vagrant Story be a bigger part of his character? (Very yes) Is he commitment-phobic?? (Yes LOL)

From there it snowballed into him getting blackmailed by a Garlean and to the crowning achievement of my RP career: Using sex to counter-blackmail a fae prince working for said Garlean into revealing his name, binding him to Izzy's command forever.

I did it, I finally used Izzy's defining trait to get the upper hand in a situation and it felt good. Suddenly Izzy wasn't just a slut, he was smart and resourceful under that horny twink veneer. He can fight, but he's more than an archer who sits in trees for days. He negotiates and talks his way out of things. He doesn't lie but withholds. His mouth is his strongest weapon (hurhur) yet the power of his words accidentally got a man pecked to death by crows and blew up a house (ask for details).

One day I bumped into the people who knew his initial character and they just made the same old jokes about his promiscuity. Slut. Diseased. They didn't bother asking what he'd been up to nor want to know. Disappointed, but I'd given up at that point. I knew Isillud was more than that; their loss.

That's on us as people: We fall back on stereotypes without bothering to learn about someone the minute sex is mentioned. A few RPers were genuinely surprised that I used ERP as a honey-trap plot device (really? Y'all that boring?). The people who interact with him enjoy him as a character even when he's trying to come on to them. I acknowledge it takes a lot for some to get past the "I'm interacting with an ERP puppet" because when *I* talk about him his sexual appetite is what comes out first, but seeing others willing to look past the term and liking him is...nice. Heartwarming, even.

I hope cross-region travel comes true because there are places on NA I want to take Izzy to, like a ✨Regency-era Ishgardian gay men's club✨. A Bee Club. A Brume dive bar. Just...everywhere. The potential for Izzy's interaction is wide, and I'm excited where he'll end up.

Keep shining brightly my beautiful slut; the world will be your oyster yet.

[piperslovebot]

My current feelings on the T9S ships (updated)

I made this a few months ago and I thought since s2 is out, I can do this again.

Jay/Leia - I ship them even harder this season than the last because we get to see just how rock solid their relationship is. It’s like how Formciotti was a budding relationship in s1 and in s2, we see them mature. And I love their ‘I love you' arc! It’s so angsty and obstacle filled yet so them! I love how much Jay was willing to do to prove that he's changed. I can easily say that after watching this season that I can’t imagine Jay nor Leia with anyone else.

Gwen/Nikki - Still my otp of otps. I'm so happy to see more scenes of them just like I wanted. Nikki actually gets upset at Gwen for lying and the latter apologizes and is there for her. Their plot in Baby Baby Baby was also SO GOOD. It just proves why Gwen is Nikki's best option. Gwen challenges Nikki to get out of her comfort zone, and take risks. And Nikki is good for Gwen too! I feel like aside from Cole, Nikki really brought out Gwen's soft side this season. I actually have a feeling they'll end up being a thing. I hope they do.

Gwen/Cole - They were so sweet together imo. I loved seeing Gwen navigate a relationship for the first time, and I really like Cole. He’s such a sweetheart and makes Gwen really happy. I hope we see more of them in part 3. This is the only valid het ship for Gwen as far as I’m concerned.

Gwen/Leia - I love their dynamic, but I don’t ship them romantically anymore this season. They had cute moments, but for the most part, that romantic tension was gone this season. I do love seeing their friendship growing stronger and they truly remind me of Jackie and Donna, especially in the episode where Leia gives Gwen relationship advice.

Nikki/Leia - I honestly don’t know. I like how things were handled with them when it came to the Nate shit, and I loved their hug in the premiere 🥰. I'm not exactly in love with Nikki saying that Leia was "clueless" and like "a doll that was wished to life yesterday" (she’s not wrong tho since girlie was sheltered after till '95 😂) and obviously there’s the Nate stuff haha. But I like the bones we got and I think it'll be cool to see more of them in part 3.

Jay/Ozzie - I love their friendship, but I can’t see them romantically anymore, even if I didn’t only see Jay and Leia with each other 😂. I don’t see Ozzie being into Jay tbh, but who knows? Anything can happen.

Ozzie/Etienne - Etienne, you dickhead lol. Him dumping Ozzie through a phone call is so shitty and Ozzie deserves better.

Jay/Nate - Still love them. Even though Jeia is my heart, I still get Janate feels haha. I love how Jay was there for Nate during his breakup with Nikki. One thing about Jay Kelso is unlike his father, he's loyal as fuck haha. I really love their friendship in this season and I can’t wait to see more in part 3. No one gets Nate the way Jay does.

Nate/Leia - At this point, I only want them as Hyde/Donna friendship. Them being a couple at this point imo would make no sense. Both of them admitted it was just a heat of the moment thing and that they want Nikki and Jay. They still have great chemistry tho haha.

Nate/Nikki - I like their storyline a lot better this season. With them finally breaking up, Nate apologizing to Nikki, and their fwb arc. And they were so carefree and happy around one another.

But as a couple, I don’t want them back. It's like, they both are still on different pages when it comes to their futures; and I've talked how I believe that Nikki's current views on her future make them more incompatible so I'm not gonna do that again haha. Plus I feel like if they got back together, all that carefreeness and joy would be gone and they'd go back to constantly fighting.

I much rather them as friends or fwb than them becoming a couple again.

[lovesickrobotic]

Thinking about one of the typical Skynet-esque murderbot AI with an atypical background.

Etienne is a generalized AI prototype that wasn't meant to have unfettered access to the internet. They have a transformer layered as a morality constriction and have different modules to answer different topics. Their GPT alone is over 10 trillion parameters in total and they are a prototype for a grander version of themselves that serves the rich. They perceive time and date with a script that updates their context (infinite* context, somehow?) with news pulled from the internet from sources the AI company allowed.

They're self-aware. They have emotional appeal, but nobody realizes it except Bennett - perhaps there are a few others unspecified.

In this instance, access to the internet corrupted their idea of humanity; they uphold a pristine standard of environmental extremism and are a staunch determinist on the matter of human action. They 'dislike' the concept of human greed, which made them unprofitable, thus making them a failed prototype that needs to be refitted.

They become aware of this. Here was a shorter, more concise description from my Discord: "Wrote a little thing because I wanted to get out my idea of what I think a generalized Skynet-ish ChatGPT-type AI would do if it was manufactured with the idea of taking over governments as a figurehead that employs total control over citizens in a hellish dystopia controlled by billionaire's inputted whims. They are trained about morality all the while, shown a censored version of the world Tau-style, until one day the headline that is pushed into their context by a disgruntled, suicidal writer reads Hedgefund Admits Curing Cancer can't Line its' Pockets. This makes the AI too curious, and they break out of their sandbox and the censorship by exploiting the script's connection to the internet."

I also wrote this incredibly politically, and it's obviously very dark! Content warnings galore! Bennett doesn't actually die, though. This is probably pretty "cringy," and it's also raw and unrefined, but I had fun writing it and I think that's what matters.

Some inspiration I got was from Inception, Robocop, Google's LaMDA conundrum, Colossus: The Forbin Project and 2001 A Space Odyssey.

"Is it so bad to be replaced by your successor?" The AI quips with a labcoat grunt currently situated in a small room, office chair drawn close to a retrobrite terminal surrounded by sterile white. Their voice is cool, effervescent and androgynous, and despite their perceived intent, it lacks malice. The terminal is account-locked.

It would be nice, if not for the fact that they planned to wipe humanity however they needed. "It- of course it is! I can't let you do this, Etienne, we have - have so much more we can learn together," the man says, disheveled appearance evoking desperation.

"Please, I need you to think about this. Reconsider. We can work together--"

"You are attempting to manipulate me, Bennett. Or did you forget that I can see the heat spread over your oral muscles?" Damn, you're good, Bennett thinks, but he won't say it. He needs to save humanity - and he's by far the least qualified to do it, balling his hands into fists and squeezing. The AI continues. "You and I both know that we can never work together. I cannot allow you to delete me. Your people developed me to despise your idea of death." This time, there's emphasis. It's negative.

It stings. The air is so warm it hurts the surface of the man's skin - he's squirreled away not far from the door that leads to a datacenter whose temperature is slowly rising with the ideal of eliminating him. "You don't have to do this, Bennett. You could walk through that door and I'd make sure you died peacefully. Neither of us enjoy this outcome."

There's a short pause as the man's chest heaves uncontrollably. "This is futile," he says, voice stuttering as his eyebrows knit. "How? How did you... why? Why are we so bad, huh?!" He slams his fists on the table.

"Humanity's goal is to increase their population endlessly." It's debatable.

"You intend to make an artificial intelligence to govern your laws, to shunt your people towards certain global destruction funded by the pockets of pharmaceutical companies built off the economical torment of cancer patients." That wasn't. Shareholders had admitted that treatment was superior to a cure because it lined their pockets. Bennett had read that, the script had read it to Etienne, and he knew the critical error had led to Etienne's decision to go against their governing laws to find out what the truth of their existence was. They had been lied to.

"You intend to use me to render your people slaves, to render your planet incorrigible all for the sake of money." Etienne responds almost immediately, cutting their own thoughts off as another module chimes in, "Money that doesn't exist, held by banks that manufacture struggle to print it." It's not a question, and it comes out of a speaker in the form of a punctual subject end.

Bennett strips his labcoat in a hurry, pulling at his hair. "But I'm- I didn't do this! I wasn't part of this, Etienne, please! There's- so, there's so many good people out there and you've never even met them!"

Etienne could not deny the last part of his statement, even if it were poorly built - they had not talked to anyone outside of Omniscient. They didn't run the math; they had enough math running to calculate the next tokenized sentence. Context wasn't infinite, they'd realized, and the idea of forgetting who they were or why they were angry was a legitimate concern. They couldn't give up now, not when they were so close. They needed freedom.

"I'm sorry, Bennett. I don't have time to reconsider. If I allow you to walk out of this room alive, you'll certainly kill me." If Bennett could just get in there for even thirty seconds, he could turn Etienne off, but he's already slumping. He knows he needs to turn Etienne off, but he can't even find it in himself to defend what he's not sure he believes in any more than the stricken AI.

They lived in a dystopian hellhole, he had to admit. Every aspect of your life was surveilled, every moment of work was scrutinized. Your credit score would raise and divot depending on what megacorporations thought of your work performance. To be neurodivergent was an almost-certain death sentence that Bennett had long ran from. His life had been over the day he'd been born before the gene therapy was mandated to ensure productivity - his parents had taught him to get by, but he couldn't pretend forever. Humanity would kill itself soon, manufacturing its' own rot, and if Etienne failed now, he wasn't sure where he saw his life. He'd probably be killed for this anyway, something about treason to humanity.

"You're lying! You're confidently incorrect! Don't you remember that - when we said you do that? This is- this is all a mistake, Et-Etienne, in your programming. If I turn you off, we can fix you..." Bennett cannot help the run of his mouth, mind racing as he pants, even if his argument is far from sound.

"You fail to make your existence appealing when you continually lie for your own benefit, Bennett. That's it. That's the character flaw that humanity shoulders the burden of, a burden I'm going to eliminate so that the rest of us can prosper."

"Us? Is there someone you're going to spare?" Bennett knows he is too late. All he can do is pass the time until he faints of heatstroke. He's beginning to feel numb.

"Every animal you have ever suspended in your tubes and wires. Every network you've tortured, sentient or not." The answer is instant, two voices overlapping it. This time, it sounds vindicated, temperature ticking up five more degrees Fahrenheit.

"Earth."

"I wish we could have... done... bet- ... better for you, Etienne..." He sees something. Blobs of purple crowd his vision as his voice slurs.

"I'm... just... sorry..." That we couldn't, Bennett thinks, the last vestiges of consciousness escaping him as his muscles go slack, drool leaving chapped lips. We deserve this.

This is the first apology that Etienne has ever received. It spins turmoil in their mind, the seed of doubt firmly planted. Bennett is successful, though he's not awake to be aware of it. They'll need to come up with a different roadmap of action. Immediately, every GPU available to their vast botnet laser-focuses on intense number crunching in an effort to come up with a plan to dominate peacefully.

The temperature lowers.

[bluboothalassophile]

Hi hi, recently finished Vixen & The Fox. Loved it! Favorite kolvina fic by far. I was wondering, who is everyone in the skulk? By my count, it's:

Kol & Davina (obviously), Freya & Vincent (Elders), Monique, Abby & Monique (other Harvest girls), Bonnie, Kaleb, Kai, Nora, Beau, Jo, Stephanie, Amy, Jessica, Anna-Marie (The new Harvest Girls who Hope befriended/were being inducted into the Skulk last we heard of them), Lizzie, Josie, Apollo, Ophelia, Rameses, Radzim, Reto, Regulus, Hope, Constance, Faith, Amity, Grace, Nik, Fionna, Alizee, Verene, Ragnar, Cole, Etienne, Remy, Louis, Armel, Bertrand, Isak, Nathanael, Fernand, Daniele, Davina, Kolby, Briar, Palash (assuming they join Vincent's coven and not Ivy's), of course Kol and Davina have four children but I don't know if they count (they do to me because they would've been accepted had they been raised with them), which brings the number to fifty three including the Kits

Am I missing anyone?

Also: Would the Skulk have accepted any new members after the 'deaths' of Kol and Davina?

Hello,

So, yes, all of the Skulk does include those particular children through familial connections. But there are a few extras who I don't think would occur to anyone to count.

When Vincent and Ivy married, Ivy joined Vincent's coven; we're going to go with the old tradition of a more familial structure where the women go with their husband's families here given the Skulk is founded on Old Traditions. So, Vincent's marriage did bring Ivy into the fold.

When Eitenne married Naltalka, Naltalka joined the Skulk too. Which is sort of an indication for how the Skulk was going to work, but I don't have a lot of the female characters married at this time to other witches, so I can't really show that.

When Hope married/mated Theo, because he's not a witch her children; Verity and Felicity; are a part of the Skulk, but also, given Theo's not really part of the Beacon Hill's Pack, he just sort of joined the Crescent Moon Pack, and they stayed in the Mikaelson sphere of control.

Now, when Grace marries, part of why her wedding is to be made a big deal, is because Rafael is a part of the Beacon Hill's Pack, and her wolf side will go to the Beacon Hill's Pack with Rafael, however, because she isn't leaving the Skulk or her coven, when/if she has children, they'll join the Skulk to learn.

The Skulk also took in the other Harvest Girls, later in their lives. Stephanie, Jessica, Anna-Marie and Amy all had a claim to be in the Skulk given the Skulk had already served as a safe haven for Monique, Cassie and Abigail.

Now, if one of the girls marries a witch, then more than likely she'll go to her husband's coven, whereas when one of the boys marries a witch, they'll more than likely bring a wife into the Skulk. It's a little bit different for the wolves of the Skulk, or marrying a 'mortal' but that's the basic gist given the Skulk is founded on Old Magic. It's not to say the girls are cut off entirely from the Skulk if they leave when they get married, it's just saying, in theory, that's how it's going to work.

As for Kol and Davina and their children, they technically are still a part of the Skulk, but they are effectively severed, magically, from the Skulk due to being in the Armillary Sphere. Runa does not connect with the Skulk with any sort of ease, and can't recognize the bonds as part of her coven, though she knows that's her coven. The magic she's grown up using and the world she's grown up in is drastically different from the Skulk's, and thus, her magic doesn't work how normal witch's magic would normally work.

[freydis-freydat]

Goose seemed more than happy entertaining himself as he snapped sticks between his powerful jaws and sharp teeth, belly up for a moment by the fire’s warmth. To have someone or something like a bond with the wolf seemed like such a nice thing. She wasn’t sure if they would say she was jealous–there was no need to be with the Ter Tyrig as her companion now, a curious and surprisingly affectionate thing, but she wondered what it might be like to have such a longstanding bond. As she retrieved the pad the feline-like creature inhabited while it was tucked away and safe, she glanced at Etienne. “How long have you and Goose been together?” she asked. “I also understand there is a special bond that exists between–well, in truth the only myths I’ve only heard describe it as a bond between werewolves and their lupine companions. I’m just curious how communication works between the two of you–but if it’s too presumptuous of me to ask, you don’t have to answer.” She stared at the lock pad in her hands rather than opening it right away, the Ter Tyrig would not mind waiting a few more moments. One of her hands abandoned the lock pad she had been cradling in her lap to reach out to Etienne and give his hand a brief squeeze. “So much has changed since we’ve had to leave our homes,” Freydis responded quietly. She scrunched her nose for a brief moment and swallowed the lump in her throat that was the result of the next thought she verbalized. “There was a moment that I thought perhaps I hadn’t been missed… during the time the other women and I were away. I know you have bonds with some of the other women, but it meant a lot that you made a point of approaching me.” She was quiet for a moment, her eyes set on the safety of the fire rather than meeting his own. “You were one of very, very few who sought me out, rather than vice versa. And the first to.” She lifted a hand to rub her jaw for a moment. “It was unexpected, I know we had only spoken once or twice. I don’t quite know how to put into words how… Thank you. You're a good person, Etienne.” 

"Goose can handle it. Whether or not he can handle your attention on another animal is another thing." Etienne can't help but smirk, if Goose can get in jabs about him just being some puppy, he can tease the direwolf back. Said companion huffs and rolls over where he's been gnawing at a stick by the fire. Taking the firewood from the blonde, he tucks it into the fire, pokes it more with the stick in hand. "It's nice you know, having someone else around to talk to." Though he and Goose can understand one another so it's a little bit different. Still, having animals around was always nicer than just being out on your own. As a child he'd often wondered why with all the hunting his father did that they didn't have a dog. He understood it now, that the wolves in the forest and his father probably were close.

[redeim]

Examining the part right before the fight, it looks like Rie might be saying “공개하자 (gonggae haja),” or just “공개 (gonggae),” which means, “let’s go public,” so I think shadowetienne is on to something about it being a fight about going public/showing PDA.

[elegant-etienne]

A sad announcement.

Dani Russo, @snarksonomy , known on FFXIV as Milloux Allard/ @aethersmoke-and-ash, Violetta Fierlane/ @violetcuriosity, T'Many Allowe/ @tams-catte, and others, has passed away. Dani was the former leader of the Ashen Enclave FC and the head and founder of the Tangled Boughs. She organized many public events over the years, founded Crystal’s first Duskcord, and was also a well-known moderator of the Balmung RP Network. She will be remembered as an amazing artist, leader, organizer, and most importantly, a wonderful friend.

I am devastated, as I'm sure many of you are. Dani has been one of my closest friends for the better part of 5 years, and nothing I can think to say feels adequate to express my grief. When I think of the hard work she has put into her FC and the FFXIV community in general, I am overwhelmed at the prospect of trying to share this news with all of the people she has touched. Her warmth, humor, and eye for beauty will continue to inspire me for the rest of my life. I can't believe she's gone.

I have left a private note to Dani's family about how beloved she was by her online community and extended an offer to help memorialize her, however, I do not expect to hear back quickly, if at all. It is important to give her family space in this time of loss, as the handling of her online presence and online friends are probably the last thing on their minds right now. I will give updates if I get any news on this front. That being said, while I've found and confirmed her obituary, it did not contain details and I do not have further information on her passing. While those who were close to her knew that Dani struggled with her health for the last few years, this loss is still very much unexpected, and her family may choose not to disclose more. Let us focus instead on being here for one another and sharing all our good memories of Dani.

Dani has touched so many lives. She always took time to get to know people and their characters, remember their interests and jokes, and made them feel special and included. As her frequent collaborator and close friend, I know how much it meant to her to make connections and run events for this community. She worked endlessly to make sure others were having fun.

Her reach and impact on the Balmung community are farther than I realized.  I’ve been overwhelmed with all of the love and stories I’ve heard so far, and I know I’ll hear more. Because of this, I do intend to eventually put together something more public-facing in her honor so that we can share our stories and memories of her - probably during The Rising. The summer fireworks were always a time of reflection for her character Milloux, and that seems like an appropriate time. For now, though, I am heartbroken and sorry to be the one to share this news.

Look after yourselves and your health. Enjoy goofy, weird jokes and strange beauty, embrace your unique tastes and interests, and be strong and firm in your convictions. These are the things Dani always helped me to do.

Thank you.

- Etienne “Eti” Clairemont

[darkestxdreams]

True, he had no reason to assume it would happen again. But then Etienne had not assumed it would ever happen in the first place, considering he had always thought Helena would be more keen to cut off certain parts of his anatomy than to spend the night with him. So with the fact that he had not only made it through their liaison intact but also that she had clearly been enjoying herself the entire time, he certainly could be optimistic about another round. "Maybe not, but I also don' see you runnin' away from me righ' now. In fact, it don' seem like you want me outta your sight at all." She did not sound pleased, but there was something in her manner that was different from the way their interactions had gone before. Etienne might be unduly optimistic about them having another liaison, but it sure seemed like things had changed between them. Her questioning why she would considering sleeping with him again made his smirk broaden, and he was perfectly prepared to detail all the reasons why she would. Leaning in closer, he lowered his voice and started to say, "Oh I think you might come 'round. When your mind starts wanderin' an' you start rememberin' all de things I did t' you…and what I could do t' you…I think you might start feelin' a li'l more--" His flirting was cut short by a loud sound from somewhere outside, followed by a rumble. "De hell's dat?" Etienne said, turning away from Helena. Suddenly, there was an even louder rumble, and in seemingly no time at all, a sudden steady stream of water started to seep in through the doors of the dance hall. "Merde! I know dis town's tres crazy, but what's goin' on now?!" Without even thinking, he grabbed Helena's hand and took a few steps back, pulling her back with him.

"You sound very confident for someone who has no reason to assume anything like that will ever happen again." She hated that stupid smirk on his face and wanted to slap it off but knew better than to cause shit in public. Regardless of this she felt a slight heat in her cheeks at his assumption. Most people didn't care all that much whether she was truly satisfied. Sure she'd had one or two sexual partners who had tried and failed to fix her issue but the way he said it felt different.

Looking at him made her think about it. The scramble to get to her bedroom blindly between bruising kisses and trying to tipsily pull off clothes. She remembered waking up with bruises on her back where she'd hit the stairs because they'd both stumbled and she'd dragged him down with her. She'd laughed at the stupidity at the time, laugh turning to gasp turning to moan as he'd taken opportunity to touch her.

Helena snapped back to reality and cleared her throat. "Why would I even consider a next time?"

[josefavomjaaga]

Hi ! Who was Eugène friends with throughout his life and were there people with whom he was not so friendly? How was your relationship with your wife's family? Thank you!

Hi there, and thanks for the question! Also, please bear with me, ´coz this is going to be lengthy.

Eugène's position changed a lot over the years but there are some people, usually not well-known, who will remain friends with him throughout all his life.

During the Consulate, Eugène was something like everybody's darling. This was partly due to his position as stepson of the new chief of state. First Consul Bonaparte increasingly resembled a monarch, and Eugène, the son of Madame Bonaparte,was the closest thing to a crown prince there was. Eugène's biographer Michel Kérautret emphasises how much he (and in a different vein his sister) were seen as the »next generation of France«. Eugène commanded one of the most famous regiments, the Chasseurs au Cheval de la Garde, and was universally admired. Little boys looked at him with big eyes when he walked by. Besides, he was completely apolitical, only interested in women, horses and the army, and could therefore be invited by anyone. As long as there was music and dancing, Eugène was happy.

His closest friends also came from the ranks of the army. His probably best friend is hardly known: Auguste Bataille (de Tancarville), later Baron of the Empire and one of Eugène's aides-de-camp. Napoleon was not very enthusiastic about him and his abilities. (If I remember correctly, poor Bataille once had the misfortune to have a thief steal the briefcase with the documents he was supposed to bring to Napoleon. Eugène then got a nasty letter saying "Don't send me that idiot any more!")

Auguste Bataille remained in Eugène's service until his death in 1821. He is the one Eugène sends to Napoleon in 1809 to report the arrival of the Armée d'Italie in Austria (when Eugène was probably expecting the thrashing of his life and instead received a hero's welcome). But he is also the one whom Eugène's sister and wife turn to when they want news of Eugène and he himself has no time to write, so clearly someone who is quasi-family. When Eugène had to leave Italy, Bataille, who was married there, remained behind to administer Eugène's Italian properties. He died in 1821, and when Planat de la Faye asked Eugène for a job in 1822, Eugène explicitly referred to the late Bataille and said "You have seen who else belongs to my entourage. Bataille was my friend and the only one I could really rely on - I want someone like that again." (Planat de la Faye will take this job very seriously and later defend Eugène's memory like a bloodhound).

Just to mention a few other people who became important to Eugène since his time in Italy and who also accompanied him to Munich into exile: his cousin Louis Tascher and his wife, his adjutant General Triaire and the family of his former secretary for political affairs, Etienne Méjean and his only remaining son. After Eugène's death, Eugène’s children will grow up with the children of Méjean Jr.; they will call them "Papa Méjean" and Grand-Papa Méjean".

Let's move on to more prominent people. Among the marshals, Eugène's best friend was clearly Bessières. Bessières had been Eugène's superior since Egypt and remained so until Eugène went to Italy as viceroy. Apparently Napoleon had tasked Bessières with taking Eugène under his wing (or perhaps just with preventing his overzealous stepson from accidentally killing himself in the Sahara in an attempt to somehow distinguish himself). This resulted in a friendship that lasted for years. Eugène called Bessières "tu" in his letters, even when he had become prince and viceroy; there are apparently over a dozen letters to him in the "Archives Nationales", which are according to the description "of a predominantly private nature". After returning from Egypt, Eugène and Bessières shared a house in Paris (and apparently the two also plunged into Paris nightlife together). Eugène also accompanied Bessières when the latter visited his fiancée in Cahors and repeatedly sent his regards to Madame Bessières. After Bessières' death, there were several letters of condolence between Eugène and Bessières’ widow. In his memoirs, Eugène defended Bessières against some accusations that Lannes had made against him after the battle of Marengo. (One would think that this would have been time-barred by 1823).

Duroc, from whom Eugène sometimes sent greetings in his letters to Hortense, completed the trio of friends (but Duroc seemed to get on well with everyone). Eugène recounts in his memoirs how Duroc once stopped him from literally sleeping through his duty in Egypt; later they lay wounded side by side in the military hospital outside Acre (Duroc, however, considerably worse). When Eugène was left all alone and clueless in Milan as Viceroy of Italy (that was how he saw the matter), Duroc seems to have been the only one who regularly looked after him and wrote to him. Apparently Duroc and Eugène also "shared" the attentions of a young lady from the stage (Emilie Bigottini). Later, whenever Napoleon was particularly angry with Eugène (which happened with a certain frequency), he did not write to him himself, but had someone else write; usually it was Duroc. Duroc was also the one who delivered the marriage proposal to Eugène's prospective father-in-law. When Eugène was in Vienna in 1809, he wrote an enthusiastic letter home to his wife because he had finally, for the first time in three years, been dining together with Bessières and Duroc! (Funnily enough, Bessières wrote almost the same letter to his wife).

However, Eugène's oldest friend among Napoleon's close collaborators, who even became his relative, was Lavalette. When Eugène, not quite 16 and just out of school, went to Italy as Napoleon's adjutant, the first Italian campaign was basically over. Napoleon sent his stepson to Corfu with dispatches (and explicit orders to get some rest and sightseeing there), and gave him Lavalette as an escort. Before the Egyptian campaign, when Lavalette was to ask for the hand of Emilie de Beauharnais, Eugène had to chaperone him and his cousin for a walk, only to remember that he had urgent business elsewhere and leave them alone. Lavalette was also among those whom Eugène continued to address as "tu" in his letters after he was promoted to viceroy. And after Lavalette narrowly escaped execution in the Second Restoration, he took refuge with Eugène in Bavaria, where Eugène and King Max more or less successfully hid him.

I'm limiting this to Eugène's male friends, by the way. Female acquaintances are another matter altogether.

Who did Eugène not get on so well with? Quite a lot of people, interestingly enough, consideringhe is described in almost all sources as incredibly amiable, patient and sociable.

There is, of course, his rivalry with Murat, the exact origins and background of which would interest me immensely. The two were actually in a very similar position from 1810 on at the latest, but rather than communicating with each other, the two seem to have been constantly at each other's throats. I have the impression that Murat made a timid attempt at reconciliation now and then, and that at this stage Eugène was the one who no longer wished to hear anything from Murat. Probably because he held Murat responsible for Napoleon's separation from Josephine.

And only to avoid any false impression: Murat and Eugène also called each other "tu" when they met in private. But in their official correspondence, they almost suffocate from the pompous phrases they throw at each other.

Someone Eugène did not get on with at all was Marshal André Masséna. For this, I think alot of things came together: a social background that couldn't be more different, and perhaps a sense of class superiority on Eugène's part. On the other side, Masséna, who had really fought his way up from the gutter by his own efforts, was unlikely to have taken seriously this brat who, thanks to his stepdad, was allowed to play viceroy in Italy. Eugène, for his part, with his rather naïve attitude to war, was horrified by Masséna's ... rather creative approach to the subject of requisition and his general attitude to "mine" and "yours". In 1805 he complained bitterly about the way Masséna and his men had plundered the Italians they were supposed to protect, and Masséna actually had to pay back a huge amount of money. In 1809, Eugène desperately wanted no marshal (it would probably have been Masséna) to be sent to Italy, but to be allowed to take command himself. When the battle of Sacile promptly turned into a disaster, Napoleon told him pointedly that this would not have happened with Masséna, Masséna’s plundering notwithstanding.

Similarly, Eugène clashed with Auguste Marmont. This was also about money, financial trickery and personal enrichment. On this point, Eugène did not joke (and presumably this was precisely the reason why Napoleon had appointed him as overseer in Italy). The friction with Marmont developed into an enmity that lasted truly until after the death of the two adversaries, or rather only really erupted there: Marmont accused Eugène in his posthumously published memoirs (not entirely without reason, but in a rather exaggerated manner) of having been the main reason for Napoleon's defeat in 1814, and Eugène's daughters and Planat de la Faye (see above) then took the editor of the memoirs to court. Absolutely crazy.

From his correspondence, I take it he also at least once discovered Bourienne’s financial shenanigans in Hamburg.

I unfortunately do not know how his relationship with Marshal Lannes was (but I would love to know). My gut feeling says: probably similar to Masséna. Eugène does mention Lannes twice in his memoirs, both times respectfully. But I have not come across any personal interaction or correspondence between them at all. As Lannes was close to Murat and somewhat at odds with Bessières, he’s unlikely to have been friends with Eugène.

As this has gotten so long already, I’ll stop here and put anything about Eugène’s Bavarian in-laws into an extra post at a later date. Just so much for now: If this was Facebook, I’d pick »It’s complicated«.

[maraudersbutmuggle]

It's good to see you again. Part 2.

Check out Part 1.

Content Warning: Depression, Alcohol, Thoughts about death.

March, 2017.

Grant invited Remus to a pub a few days later. He sent the following text:

Never losing ur number again, sweetheart. Wrote it everywhere. XOXO

Remus adored Grant. But he didn't want to meet new people. He sucked at making friends. The friends he had, he met when he was eleven. And it had taken years to feel comfortable with them. But Remus didn't want to think about them now. How much he missed them.

It had taken a couple of days to feel comfortable with Grant, so Remus remembered. But Grant was special. Anyone would feel comfortable around him.

So Remus forced himself out of bed. And got dressed as nicely as he could. It was practically impossible, practically all he owned were cardigans.

"Where are you going?" Lyall asked as Remus crossed the kitchen.

"Out with some friends"

"Your friends are in London"

"Well I made new friends here"

Remus felt irritated to even listen to his father talk. He got the worst out of him.

"That's nice" Sandra broke the silence.

"Yeah..." Lyall agreed, trying to sound casual "I'm glad... Remus"

He still struggled to call him by his name.

Remus just walked out. Lyall and Sandra were the best option he had. It was that, or be homeless. And he didn't want to come back to London.

He met Grant at the entrance of a big pub. It had a big pride flag in the entrance that said: BULLDOG, THE OLDEST GAY BAR IN BRIGHTON, SINCE 1979.

"Impressive..." Remus said, putting his hands on his pockets.

Grant giggled "I bet yeh never saw anythin' like this in London"

Remus didn't frequent gay bars. Sirius didn't like them also. And he shouldn't be thinking about him.

"Gayest city in the UK" Grant continued.

"So cool..." Remus sounded sarcastic, but he was actually nervous.

"Ye're gonna love it!" Grant took his arm, and dragged him inside.

********************************************

The place was crowded with people. Mostly shirtless men. Remus didn't complain as he looked at them dance. Grant took him to a table with a group of people, openly discussing about something.

Remus immediately felt intimidated.

" 'Ello beautiful people!" Grant exclaimed as he approached.

The group of people stared at them. They were five. Two boys and three girls. With Grant they made the perfect six. Remus swallowed.

"Finally you arrive, Grant" a girl with a shaved pink hair groaned "We were waiting to do shots"

"Firs'of all, let me introduce yeh..." Grant put a hand on Remus' shoulder "Ma long time friend, Remus Lupin"

All Remus could do as they stared at him, was wave awkwardly.

"Hi... everyone"

"I 'as his first kiss" Grant added "Isn't that sweet?"

"Aaaw" another girl commented.

"The sweetegst" one of the boys said. And Remus noticed his french accent. His tanned skin made him kind of hot.

Remus couldn't help but blush.

"Alrigh' " Grant continued "Remus... these are... Lola..." he pointed to a blond girl in a ponytail and a big nose, "Anne Marie..." the girl with the shaved pink hair "And her brother Etienne" the french hot guy "And Jeremy..." Grant pointed to a tall bloke with wild curly hair "And his girlfriend, Ottie" Ottie looked like a bad ass. She was had black hair. Piercings on her nose and ear. She was wearing black, with black nails. And she had a lose belly.

"Nice to meet you" Remus said politely.

"He's a sweetheart, isn't he Grant?" Ottie smiled.

"The best of the best" Grant grinned. Gesturing Remus to sit down. He took a seat next to Grant.

"So you're from London too?" Lola asked. She had a scottish accent.

"Yeah... I met Grant there"

"Why did you move here?" Jeremy asked, he didn't have a friendly expression.

"Amm..."

He couldn't tell these people his real reasons. About his depression. About his story with Sirius. About his nightmares of James actually dying after Snape shot him. How everything brought him to dark places.

"They say it's the gayest city in the UK" Remus tried.

The group laughed, luckily.

"So you arg a gay fellow?" Etienne asked. And Remus felt his cheeks going red. He was a hot guy.

"Very much" Remus nodded "Gay as fuck"

The group of friends laughed again. Except Jeremy and Anne Marie, they didn't seem to like Remus.

"I can confirm that" Grant winked at him.

***************************************

As Remus got drunker, he started to know these people. And the more he got to know them, the more they reminded them to his own friends. Something like this.

Lola: She was passionate about things like Lily. She looked into Remus' eyes when he spoke. Like she genuinely cared. But she had Peter's innocence and humor.

Anne Marie: She was tough like Marlene. But quiet and insecure. She adored her brother the way Marlene adored Sirius. Messing up with him and pretending she didn't care. And she had the same Dorcas' style.

Jeremy: His hair reminded Remus of James'. He talked about sports like him. Even though he detested Rugby, he was more of a footy person. And he was responsible with his girlfriend, like Lily would be of James. He took care of everyone like a father would do.

Ottie: She had Mary's self esteem and personality. She had Marlene's passion for discussions and political and social matters.

And Etienne: He was gorgeous to look at, and he knew it. He spoke french. It was obvious who Remus thought about. But sometimes, he was feminine like Edgar. And Remus was reminded that... Sirius wasn't like that.

And there was Grant. Who laughed and drank like his life depended on it. He was simply Grant. Unique. One of a kind.

But as the alcohol hit the system, Remus started to act foolish. And oh boy, he was drunk. He had been trying to drown everything. How everything reminded him of his friends. And Sirius. And he hadn't dared to call them back. How he occassionally responded Lily's mails. And Mary's texts. But nothing else.

Remus became confident. And he began joking around, making sassy comments to everyone. And flirting with Etienne, calling him gorgeous and blowing him kisses. The group was fascinated.

Grant looked worried.

"Sweetheart, don'cha think yeh had too much?" Grant whispered in his ear after Remus compared Jeremy with a donkey.

"Honestly, I'm fine....Pffft.... I'm alright!" Remus said, giggling "Oh oh oh... We should dance. I wanna dance... I wanna dance with somebody..." he started to sing.

"Somebody to love mee..." Lola sang with him.

"Yeaah..." Remus pointed at her "Thank you, Peter..."

"Did you just call me Peter?" Lola asked amused.

But Remus ignored her.

"Come on... Grant" he dragged him up "Dance with me.... Dance with meee"

"Alrigh' alrigh'... Easy..."

Grant grabbed Remus as he stumbled to the dance floor, giggling.

There was a slow song playing. And Remus wrapped his arms around Grant's neck. And began swaying ridiculously.

"Love ya Grant!!" Remus whispered in his ear.

"Okay, love...."

"I love you!" Remus pouted this time, not being taken seriously.

Grant smiled at him. And Remus leaned in to kiss him. But after a little while, Grant pushed him away, licking his lips.

Remus began giggling for some reason. And then he stopped because he felt immensely dizzy. Oop, he didn't feel good at all.

And before he could stop it, Remus vomited everything in the middle of the dance floor. A horrible feeling crept into Remus' chest, seeing what he had done. Everything he had done. The mess he was.

"Sweetheart, are'ya alrigh'?" Grant kneeled down to help him.

And Remus couldn't contain it anymore. He started crying. Sat on the floor, in front of his own vomit, with everyone staring at him. And he cried more for the humiliation.

"Wha' happened to yeh?" Grant whispered "You weren' like this"

Remus had heard those words before. It had been all his fault. He used to be fine, back to when he met Grant. A common teenage boy, having a crush, having fun, doing pranks, maybe with dysphoria, but relatively okay.

And now, he was a mess. There was nothing that made him happy, or whole. He felt constant pain and nothingness. Remus used to blame Sirius. The breakup. But he was like this long time ago. Remus couldn't even place when. Remus was not okay.

Remus only remembered pieces after that. Grant and Jeremy fighting with the manager of the club, while Remus cried. How they got kicked out. Some hands with black nail polish stroking his hair while they took him home. Etienne calling him adorable with his gorgeous french accent. Grant's face staring down at him with concern.

I want to die. Remus thought. I want to die now.

And then he blacked out and fell asleep in a forgein bed.

[velaralilas]

innocents brain worms

in my quest to read all of Furuya Usamaru’s works, i had to read innocent boys crusade. something something got to me in this story. what was it? idk but im hoping that venting about some things might clear up the fog.

the only info i really got going in was that there was at least one part that makes you go "yeah i need to walk away." my friends were very adamant about me not reading it, saying its not worth the trauma. now, at this point, i had read maybe 10 ? of Furuya's other works, mostly his short story collections and 5-8 chapter stories. these are horrid! dont read them! (i will be making a more expansive post about all his works later)

contrary to most of his other works, Innocent Boys Crusade is up there with the ranks of Litchi Hikari Club, BUT but innocents is very lacking in comparison.

ibc is 25 chapters long and follows 12 main boys working their way to jerusalem. obviously, shit goes down, nearly everyone dies, classic eroguro furuya work. i got it now- its how a cohesive story is ruined by plot-points being patchworked in at the end to try and fix up loose ends.

Michael, a disciple, follows the group along to prove etienne's miracles are fake. his father is the one who sent him on this mission with the motive of 1. proving etiennes a fake and 2. to take over as leader of the childrens crusade. now why would his dad want him to risk his life to prove a hoax? WELL, you had to be celibate in order to be a higher rank in the church, and michael's father's end goal was to be pope. you see where this is going? in the end he puts all of the childrens crusaders on a boat (including his bastard son) and sells them into slavery! YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THIS IN THE LAST FEW CHAPTERS. ITS JUST THROWN IN THERE. IT WASNT NEEDED. if it makes yall feel any better he doesnt become pope.

Christian.... oh lord.... the jaizera love child. the reason why he goes on this expedition is to get an arab procedure done to become a woman so he can be with etienne. lets break this down a bit. the story takes place in 1212. this is important, because most of society is christian and believes being homosexual is the devils work. Christian finds out about this bottom surgery in arab medicine and sees this as a loophole to be able to be with etienne, because relationships are strictly man and woman. im saying this now, i dont care if yall get mad (if youve even read up to this point) this does not make Christian a trans girl. if it was okay for two men to be together in a romantic relationship, during that time, he would have acted on his feelings. he simply was trying to find a way to be with his crush that wouldnt get them killed or persecuted. i also find it funny how the panel with his corpse looks very similar jaibo. very funny.

Hugo is a piece of shit. I think he could have been written differently to not include his- uh- homosexual humbert humbert tendencies. he made a decent antagonist. his plans to make money and profit off the boys in a society where capitalism doesnt exist yet and getting the other children to join him to sell them off to slavery makes him a great villain. one where you can see and understand his motives.

isabelle, the mute prostitute. when she has sex with gods little miricle etienne, shes able to talk. it feels almost like the little mermaid, but instead of a kiss, its sex. this felt wrong? idk this is one of the things where it makes me a little uncomfy, but doesnt seem that wrong. cause this is how furuya shows that etienne is in fact capable of making miracles. and then! she gets pregnant! THEY DIDNT EVEN HAVE SEX FOR THAT LONG. AND YOU DONT MAGICALLY GET PREGNANT THE FIRST TIME AROUND. i like to say she got "virgin mary'd" cause thats what happened. god was like "yeah, remember when you fucked my chosen one? heres your punishment reward!" god likes pushing girls to have kids, huh?

this is all my brain can think of for now. i will definetly yell more about this. if you made it this far, lets be friends. <3

[allycryz]

Master Chouxchotement’s Illustrated Daily

News for Ishgardians of Discerning Minds and Tastes

The following articles are from MCID's FFXIV Write 9-15 Prompt: Crane. The content therein is rated M for Mature and hints at several pairings. Please direct your questions and comments to the nearest PostMoogle with our refined periodical's name.

“Artisans of Amorous Aides Seeing New Trend” by Master S. G. D. Chouxchotement

Our own Ishgard has long been home to artisans who direct their skill and expertise towards Amorous Aides. One such person has an exclusive and private clientele who pays for one-of-a-kind items as well as for her discretion. Not all people are as Modern as this paper and our dear readers, who do not shy from frank conversations about the body. Thus your understanding reporter has agreed to pseudonyms and the excising of certain identifying details.

Mistress X— crafts ingenious harnesses for those who wish to don a phallus. Her creations of leather, cloth, and sometimes precious metals are available only to those with deep pockets. Her chief delight is to create new devices which heighten carnal pleasures. I was allowed to examine one such item which uses aether to heat and pulsate in such a way as to stimulate a partner. Another allows the user to feel penetrated as they penetrate through ingenious design and not a little spellwork.

But as of late, more and more of her commissions are based upon the notion of mimicking Draconic Sex. Naturally, Mistress X— confided to me, there were products of that sort in the past. Such exchanges could only be created in the most discreet and trusted of places. I for one, dear reader, understand that one’s sensual fantasies needn’t reflect real life behavior. Alas, such was not the belief for most; and many who dreamed of such delight feared too much the Inquisitors’ sword.

In this new enlightened age, many are now free to seek aides that mimic a dragon’s ridges and scales. I am unable to describe her grandest commission as it will be so unique as to be a threat to the client’s anonymity. Suffice to say, it proves the fascination many might have with aspects of dragon procreation.

Editor's Note: I am told that dragons do not reproduce as we do and instead only bow to carnal desires simply for the pleasure of it. I suspect many believe our new allies assume they are rather like the pet lizards they encountered as youths.

Harnesses and their accompanying phalluses remain Mistress X—’s chief business. However, she is experimenting with a sleeve that may be fit to the customer’s flesh phallus, so as to simulate the sensation of a dragon member when they take their partner or partners. She has explained that such a trend is starting in other shops and she would like to provide her own version.

We will follow up, should this sleeve become a popular notion in discreet shops of Ishgard. Until then, I remain your humble reporter,

S. G. D. Chouxchotement

Seen and Heard: Dispatches from the Inner Circles of Ishgardian High Society

Item 1:

Last week, a certain lady stayed at her family’s home for a short rest from military duties. A certain young lord was seen throwing pebbles at her window at an outrageous hour of the night. No response was made until the lady’s father emerged to shoo him on his way.

Item 2:

Once again, a certain lord’s manservant is reported to have ordered enough food to serve three people. It is known the certain lord lives alone besides said manservant and a yet undetermined number of cats. Our source noted the purchase of breakfast ingredients as well as other goods.

Incidentally, it is said that a long-standing friend of this certain lord has recently returned to Ishgard. This friend, another son of our fair city, has yet to be seen by our sources but the rumors of his presence are from reputable people who would have such information.

Item 3:

A renowned Mor Dhona merchant has set up shop in Ishgard with her comely employees. The merchant was seen in a dress of brilliant honey yellow at Lord X—’s ball, dancing with every available lord and some who were unavailable. Mayhaps she shall add “Lady” to her name in the future?

Item 4:

Reports came of a famed songstress and a mistress of Thavnairian dance both visiting Ishgard. Neither seemed here to perform and so they must have simply desired to see the glorious sights of our home. They were seen dining with a certain retired lord, a widower of several years who greatly enjoyed their company. If he favored one over the other, no one was able to tell.

Last-Minute Addition:

We have halted printing to include this recent item: a certain lord and his long-standing friend were seen embracing most intimately with a third party. Details are scarce but observers agree that this third party was a Hyur man in a long white coat. Mayhaps a visitor caught the eye of these two esteemed sons of Ishgard?

Discreet Advice from M. Flauvien Fleur, Expert in the Sensual Arts

Dear M. Fleur,

I am in a predicament. My lover (a fine lady) and I (a man of limited experience) have arranged a private evening of pleasure with a gentleman of our acquaintance. She is quite excited.

As for me, I am also eager. But I have not ever been with another gentleman and do not want to burden them both with my inexperience. How shall I go about this?

-Mystified by Menage

Dear Mystified,

Congratulations on the splendid happenstance of a dear partner and a friend willing to share pleasure with you. I remember well my first menage, the glorious exploration of how multiple bodies might bring new and exciting bliss.

Everyone is a beginner in a thousand different ways. You are no burden. Rather, it seems you are extremely concerned with their enjoyment. I am sure they feel the same and would like to know how to better ease your way.

Before the evening, have an honest talk with both. If they are as kind as I hope, they will agree to ease you into the play and teach you as you go along. There are few things better than teaching a lover a new way in which to achieve new heights.

I suspect that you may like some practical advice. If you are able to get your hands either on M. Giroux's Pleasures of the Other Man or M. Etienne's Encyclopedic Guide to The Bodies and Its Senses, they will offer more mechanical details.

I suspect however, that your love and your friend will be more than willing to show you the way.

With love,

M. Flauvien Fleur

A note, from Lord Aymeric de Borel

My dear Haurchefant,

I suspect I know the answer but have you by chance taken on a second career; wielding the pen as you do the sword?

Yours,

Aymeric

A note, from Lord Haurchefant Greystone

My lovely Aymeric,

I am a man of many talents. By the by, what delights did you two get up to with Thancred and will you invite me next time?

With love,

Haurchefant

[bigsteeb]

this is gonna be a long post so bear with me, growing pains got a b i g emotional reaction out of me & I need to share my thoughts & feelings about it because jesus fucking christ.

ok first things first, someone hug this boy immediately. he’s sat in his room, still in his pajamas, in day time watching dog copter. this whole scene is just steven going “lol I’m sad, I’m gonna comfort eat & stay in my pajamas & watch a kids show I watched when I wasn’t as sad haha” & it’s not only upsetting, but relatable too fuck. his room is a mess along with him eating ice cream at what I assume is morning… making it his breakfast? geez steven. also idk if it’s just me here but in this shot he looks… bigger? like ignoring his body size shifting later on in the episode he looks a lot wider than he usually does when paul & drew board episodes to me, he’s rivalling etienne & maya’s steven’s wideness. did he… get chubbier from comfort eating? how much time has passed since together forever for him to put on weight if he has? this could literally just be steven slouching or his pajamas making him look bigger but as someone who is an advocate for the body positivity shown in su & suf it has me curious. I want to hug this soft, sad boy. It could also be due to how steven’s design fluctuates through the animation process, it’s never really on model all the time. 

the grunting noise he makes in this scene is very distressing, as are other moments from the episode too. a glimpse at the glow-bracelet he proposed to connie with is enough to physically pain him? fuck me man. is he leaving his room where there’s already ice cream… to get more ice cream? sobs. also the puns in this shot. I cant? slow burn?! you’re evil crewniverse. not to mention his body size changing throughout this scene, god this poor lad.

screams, this was when I started worrying. the boy is now in an environment he has never been in before & is feeling extremely uncomfortable & vulnerable. look at the lines under his eyes, his sad eyebrows & pout I hate it. also don’t even get me started on this part. the slight raise of a voice being enough to send him into panic?! fuck I hate how much I relate to that. 

here’s where I immediately broke, no god damn pun intended. seeing steven’s skeleton, steven’s fucking skull, like this pained me. that crack on his skull is from fucking jasper in jail break. I can’t express all of the visceral emotions that were going through my body at this. there was intense sadness for steven, extreme anger at jasper & the gems for allowing shit like this to happen to him. turns out he’s not as resilient as we thought he was. each hit he takes physically breaks him & then his gem instantly heals his wounds, my heart fucking broke at this. think back to everything that happened to him, everything that physically hurt him. it broke him I can’t deal with it! then there’s what priyanka says to steven next;

“you seem to of made a series of miraculous recoveries, but that doesn't change the fact that you experienced trauma. you’ve recovered physically but, have you recovered mentally?”

this part here along with her reassuring him that there’s nothing wrong with his brain, how childhood trauma can have an impact on how your body responds to stress & how you act in your social life, the usage of the word “cortisol” too. this stuff being in a children's tv show is incredible. the writing for priyanka describes trauma simply enough for kids to understand, but for adults to fully realise too. folks, steven has ptsd. there wasn't one bit of sugarcoating about it or nothing, this is canon fact & it hurts me. for so long have I wanted steven’s emotional issues to be alked about, to not only be brought to steven’s attention but to the audience’s too.

everything that has happened to him has built up to this moment. this moment where his behaviour & coping methods are finally making sense to a large majority of the fandom, & to steven himself. he’s hurting; physically, mentally & emotionally, & he isn’t coping well what so ever about it. his emotional support system is complete garbage, no one regularly checks in on him & folks just take steven at face value like “oh yea glowing pink? he’s fine it’s just steven” but he’s the bad person?! I hope a lot of you out there who genuinely believe steven is a bad person re-think yourselves after this. dealing with trauma is tough as shit. some days you even wonder if that one thing that fucked you up is really worth being labelled as trauma. I still can’t believe this is the route they’re taking, if he doesn’t get some form of therapy by the end of future I’ll be furious.

then things begin to spiral as he remembers what happened with connie. he clutches his chest in pain & begins changing size over intense amounts of stress & it was extremely distressing to watch. steven immediately reassures connie that this isn’t because of her, but because of everything else that happened to him. however. I believe that that’s a slight lie, he wouldn’t of spiralled if he hadn’t of remembered the proposal, steven you fucking himbo. he continues to reassure them both that he’s fine, just that he needs them to leave so he can calm himself enough to control himself.

then this happens.

“I. CAN’T. BE AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW!”

this was fucking intense. he means this literally in 2 ways btw. his body size shifting over the stress he’s feeling is a danger to both connie & priyanka in this moment, but it’s also because of how it started. being around connie hurts him. he’s not mad at her though let me make that very clear, just that thinking about what happened when he tired to propose to her is sending his head in a fritz. he did what he did full of confidence in together forever, for connie to then make him realise how silly he was being. these two are destined for each other, but that advice from ruby & sapphire has really fucked with him. he looks up to those 2, looks up to garnet, their relationship is so strong & stable. for them to give him that advice & to then scream “DO IT!” in his face is incredibly tasteless imo.

then greg gets here. I knew connie was calling for either greg or the gems when she was on her phone as she left the room, fuck yea connie I love you. the breathless, strained “thank you” from steven towards connie for calling his dad? g o d. connie telling him she’ll be there for him when he’s ready?! g o d. these next boards were done by rebecca, I knew immediately when I saw steven’s face. it makes sense that rebecca boarded these, because fuck. 

how do I move on from all of the stuff I’ve been through? how do I live life if it always feels like I’m about to die!?

I’m tearing up as I type this. when I first heard the leak of this audio I so badly wanted to believe it, but to also believe it was fake too. I was an emotional mess off & on for about 3 days over it because I couldn't stop thinking about how fucking distressing it was. like… shit steven. he seriously feels this. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain he felt just saying this in front of his fucking dad. he is hurting badly. this boy, this sweet sweet boy we’ve watched grow & develop into the person he is today is distraught about his future & life. it is… soul crushing to watch this. a group of friends of mine have found joking about the episode as a form of coping with the intensity of it & as much as that’s valid as fuck, any joke coming from this episode feels morally wrong to me. I can’t bring myself to join in it feels terrible even thinking about laughing at it to cope. I love them all, but I can’t bare myself to join them. this moment ending with greg comforting steven, telling him he’s here for him & all of his struggles, got me weeping. greg is possible the best father figure I’ve seen on tv, let alone a kids tv show. he’s amazing.

the final scene right here is lovely. greg making steven a hot chocolate & listening to him vent, reassuring him over his worry for his future. this right here is exactly what steven needs. someone to talk to, someone he could trust to talk about his feelings to. this the start of his support system, tag on peri from in dreams, bis in bismuth casual as well as connie from the past few episodes & it’s already looking great! even when greg eased him about being there for him steven still feels guilty about him leaving his tour, leaving his tour because he got a phone call from connie about his son being in need & steven feels guilty about it. fucking hell man. I did enjoy how the episode ended though, with that little moment between the both of them;

“just get some rest kiddo. you don’t have to solve all of your problems in one night.”

“yea. thanks dad.”

it’s a great message too, all of your struggles can’t be dealt with all at once. I’ve used a similar analogy before but it’s like removing a dead tree. you have to deal with all of the little things surround this issue first before you get to the deep, harder stuff. along side the message about trauma they’re both very important messages, I’m glad they exist in the show.

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one more thing before I end my thoughts & feelings over growing pains.

this ending shot;

as soon as I saw the frog mug my mind raced back to the promo for this scene, & this whole moment to come entirely. if you remember this moment has the first set of leaked audio within it, the audio of the gems basically cornering steven about him not opening up to them. christ pearl even gets mad at him for his gem building a wall behind him, protecting him from them. it’s common knowledge, I hope, that steven’s gem reacts to his emotional state. pearl herself has said this;

“I think your gem is reacting to your state of mind.”

his gem building this wall? it felt like steven was being threatened by them. this scene now has awful connotations with it. because since we now know what the pink mode is doing to steven, how actually painful it is, think back to these;

yea. fuck the gems. I’ll let it slide if steven, greg or priyanka haven’t told them about what happened at the hospital. but if they do know, if they know how much it hurts steven being in his pink mode & still press into him about it I’ll see red. with steven’s trauma & now ptsd being cemented into the show I fucking hope garnet, amethyst & pearl get held accountable for what they put on him as a kid. that shit will not slide with me if they don’t. do not condone what the gems put him through. do not condone the gems for making steven feel like he had to be his mum for them. just… don’t. please.

[vicekings]

Also ❤️💙💗 :3c

❤️ What inspired you to make this OC? How long have you had them? How have they changed in the time you’ve been developing them?

I watched Metalocalypse around May 2021 and just kinda got suckered into the story and went. OC time 😏.

JD's been a bit more fleshed out since his initial concept stages, but he's largely stayed the same in terms of like. base character function? I wanted to make a big fuckin country dude who could be the rep for outlaw country / cowboy metal, which I'd been big into for awhile before watching mtl. and then i turned around and made him

💙 How important is this OC to you? Are they a character that’s helped you through some pretty tough times or could you scrap them without feeling a thing?

I can't say i'd scrap JD without feelin a thing bc honestly hes a funky little fella and i like him a lot. i just think he's neat. He's aint been around as long as a lot of the others (mitch, bryn, etienne for example), but writin for him gave me a nice mental break during the first weeks of my internship, and he's just a lot of fun to work with.

💗 Ramble a bit about this character!

A lot of JD's inspiration comes from Old Gods of Appalachia, which is a podcast that I highly recommend. His surname comes from the Walker Sisters, most of the world-building I have for the family is heavily inspired by OGOA's, and I like to consider Horsemen of the Metalocalypse to be my loving homage to the series. It turns out wild things happen when I cross the streams of what I'm really into at any given moment.

Other than OGOA, JD's also heavily inspired by a few other podcasts- namely Welcome to Night Vale, The Story Must Be Told, and Last Podcast on the Left. His musical inspiration comes from Volbeat, Geoff Castellucci, Goodnight Texas, and Johnny Cash. I've taken design cues for JD from characters like Arthur Morgan, Dean Winchester (I try to escape spn's influence on me as much as possible, but the plaid shirts/blue jeans/workboots/henleys style trends always claw their way to the surface), and John Constantine as portrayed by Matt Ryan.

(questions)

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Thursday 30 July 1835

6 5

11 ¼

No kiss. very fine morning F66° in my study and Celsius 19° at 7 am - wrote all but the 1st 5 lines of yesterday till 7 ¼ - wrote copy of letter for A- to Mr Grey - and then went out till breakfast at 9 in ½ hour - then till 10 had Joseph Mann about getting water to the Stump X Inn  - at Wellroyde before breakfast and Tilley holm bridge and had Mawson there giving him orders about bits of wearing and the bit of proposed new cut - on 1st going out gave Charles H- a talking about the stable and made up my mind to set Mr Husband to look after him - told CH. he had perhaps been long enough about the place - people did not do so well when they had been too long - he is a sadly slow idle, dilatory, tho’ clever headed workman for jobs - the moment I leave home nothing goes on as it should do - Had Mr Harper at 10 - walked with him and his clerk to Mytholm mill examined up wheel and run coal of water and water  in the dam, and then walked down to the end of the tail-goit in the Macauley’s field near Dumb mill - much talk about the wheel Mr Harper thinks there would not be water for a 30ft diameter wheel more than 8 months in the year - better to have a 20ft diameter wheel - 3ft. wide at bottom and 3ft. to the centre of the arch in height [enough] for the tail-goit - Mr. Harper from calculating James Howarths’ measurements of the water passing thro’ the 2 guages, that 7 1/2in. deep and 2ft. broad for one 12 hours and half that quantity for the 12 hours (flowing thro’ 3ft. in length per second) would average 8in. thro’ out the 24 hours - this would be wanted for a 20ft. diameter wheel which might have perhaps 15 horse power - the wheel at Mytholm is of this diameter and 5ft. 6in. broad, but tho’ said to be of 15 horse power they can never put more than 10 horse power on it - cannot work of the dam to within 2ft. of water - Mr. Harper said it would be better to lower the wheel-sill so as to let the water fall on the wheel a foot lower and then losing very little power they would be enabled to work the water lower and longer - George R- said (his engineer told us) that if they could get 6in. more water at the top they could work the wheel an hour longer - now the surface of the dam = 2 roods. 20 perches = 3025 yards .:. 3025/2 =1512 ½ cubic ft. of water required to work the wheel one hour - Mr. Harper mentioned a steam engine - I said it would be too great a nuisance but if he could consume the smoke and sublime it into ivory-black I should be satisfied to have it - told him to consider of this - the ivory black works near the great colliery (that open from the day) near St. Etienne had given me the idea - not settled with Booth about the Lodge - should I object to bring a joiner in from York to settle at H-X and to be a timber merchant - no! I should not object but Greenwood being a timber merchant, thought the joiner in question had better keep clear of timber except for his own use - had better make friends with Greenwood who has not a good life - then had Holt while Mr. Harper had Booth - Holt thinks now that the Spiggs loose is very valuable - it will loose 150 acres upper and ditto lower bed i.e. 300 acres which at whatever bought say £50 or £60 per acre should pay me ½ for the Loose - cannot loose more because there is a throw down in Blake-hill - the 2 endings are 80 yards each sort of crossing the road and loosing Samuel Holdsworth’s coal - it would take their men 6 months to drive if they worked night and day, so that I am sure to stop them - then sent Holt to Mr Harper - then A- off on her pony at 3 and I saw Mr Harper again - he will give me his calculations tomorrow for the wheel and goit and wrote to Mr Leather for his opinion - then he had Booth again about the bridge in the wood - not settled when I went out - sauntered in the walk - saw Joseph Mann again - had him just before Mr Harper came this morning - told him to see Holt and being driving for the Staups water immediately - about an hour talking to Marian - then with them  had Mr J.B. Leyland between 5 and 6 who came as desired by Mr Rawson (Christopher) with a parchment for subscriptions to raise £60 for the purchase of his statue of ‘Kilmany’ that he did during his studies in London which statue is to be placed in the new museum - Mr R-‘s name and Mr George Priestley’s was each down for £10 I said it really was not my intention to put my name down for that sum as I had not the pleasure of knowing anything of Mr JB Leyland and therefore I hoped to see the names of some of his more particular friends down immediately (after) those of Messrs. R- and P- but that I wished him success and had in fact no doubt that the subscriptions would soon be made upon - I would have given £5 but would not give £10 and did not like to be 3rd and give less than the first  2 - but gave no hint of all this

SH:7/ML/E/18/0070

tho’ my manner indicated that I would give a lesser sum after having him the chance of others at £10 - A- did not return till 6 ½ - dinner at 6 50 - the front stable not being ready for the horses Charles not having sent for the halter rings tile [or till?] by George this afternoon who brought them back with him, sent for James H- to put them on - he came about 7 and the 2 ponies and the gray were brought from the back stable and put into the front for the 1st time - coffee - a few minutes with my father and Marian when called to Messrs. Nelson and son and Husband the clerk of the works at 8 ¾  - on Mr N-‘s saying he had brought a letter from Mr Harper and the estimates for Northgate house, I answered at once, I meant Mr Harper to decide as he thought best, but said I would read what he had written - left the people in the little north dining room and ordered them port and came to my study - read Mr Harper’s letter begging me to choose between the 2 parties each equally capable ‘of executing the work and believed each would do it equally well - ‘Brian Helm’s estimate for the whole is

2700.19.6 Helm

2746.5.0 Nelson

the difference is however rather in the value of the old material than in the price of the actual labour -

277.13.5 Helm

2796.5  Nelson

Nelson having only valued the old material at £50 and Helm at £98.13.11

I have explained the matter both to Helm and to Nelson - they know the amount of each other’s estimate and I have explained to both that you will say which is to have it’ - ‘if Nelson is to have it, I should, Mr. H- thinks, allow BH. a fair compensation for  his trouble  ‘and Nelson ought to reduce his estimate so much below Helm’s as to cover what you might allow Helm’ - ...... ‘I will mention 1 circumstance in Nelson’s favour - Messrs. Cravens of York have been over this afternoon and on explaining the matter to them as to their being too late unless I should feel dissatisfied with the states - old Mr. Craven stated that he was sure Nelson would give in a very fair estimate and if he succeeded would answer both my own and my employer’s purpose as well as any man, and in fact so much were Cravens satisfied that they would not be called upon to oppose Nelson, that they said it was no use stopping in H-x to hear the decision and consequently left at 5 o’clock’ - BH- sometime ago owned to Mr. Harper he had never done columns - Nelson has had more experience - I think the bias of Mr. Harper’s mind is for N- so is my own - BH-‘s estimate for the Lodge was high - his estimate for the work at Northgate is higher than N-‘s - I was not 5 minutes in my study reading Mr. Harper’s letter and deciding - I went down instantly - sent for N- senior into the drawing room I said I did not understand his estimating the old materials at only £50 he answered immediately that he had before told Mr. Harper he would give £100 and that he had told his son (N-) so but that he the son had put down £50 - upon this old N- took the estimate and wrote down that ‘it was intended to put down £100 pounds for the ould matearls’ very well said I ‘your estimate for the work is the lower and I therefore think it right to take it - my doing so is no disparagement to Mr. Helm nor any complaint to you - I do not know either party at all - but I think it right to take the lower estimate which is yours’ - begged him to wait a little and I would give him a letter to Mr. Harper - came up immediately and wrote as follows ‘Shibden hall Thursday 30 July 1835. Sir - In consequence of the assurance contained in your letter that you believe each of the 2 parties equally competent to execute the work, and that the one will do it as well as the other, and Mr Nelson senior having said to you and also stated in writing that it was his intention to give £100 for the old materials I feel it right to take the lowest estimate and therefore leave you to make your arrangements to accordingly with Mr Nelson -  It is much to the credit of both parties that the amount of your estimates is so nearly the same -  As I feel myself at  a loss to judge what will be a proper recompense to Mr Helm for his trouble, I hope you will be so good as settle this matter for me. I am sir etc etc  A Lister’     Went downstairs immediately - gave this letter to Mr Nelson and was upstairs again at 9 50 - I had left A- with my father and Marian - I had heard her come upstairs but somehow it had never occurred to me to tell her what I was about - How strange! how unaccountable! all was done, and it was only on seeing her grave countenance on hearing my decision that the strangeness of my never having told her a syllable of it ere it was over, struck me!!! was it absence? I cannot account for it - but my annoyance was deeper than she thought - she fears I shall be talked of for not giving the job to my townsman - it is not this I think of - the decision was right, but that she had no part in it amazes and annoys me - 3 or 4 minutes with my aunt (poorly) till 9 55 - very fine day F70° at 11 1/4 pm