#and also deep down “you are the reason my parents and the sect died

[thisismyaha]

it destroys me everytime that jc (and the cultivation world) saw this little two year old child and was like he deserves to die just because his last name was wen,,

like i love jc but not in the he deserves a happy ending or he's a cute tsundere-iffication. he's really not a good person and that makes him a great character and antagonist. i think he's a very complex character who really exemplifies why the happiest ending for wwx was ultimately realising that he alone couldn't change the gentry and sects and their hypocritical, moralless and self-aggrandizing system, that sort of "arrogance" (as wwx calls it) only led to not only his destruction but that of the ones he had attempted to protect from the world around them and yet could not entirely leave behind (hence why post resurrection, wwx was deadset on just fucking off on his own if it weren't for nhs schemes). this was a deeply classist violence that is rooted in ensuring that those in power stayed in power and jc as a jiang sect leader exemplifies the obvious violence and cruelty of this system the most.

jc specifically wanted wwx to abandon the wens not only because jc hates the wens but also because he knew wwx would be turned into a scapegoat by the cultivation world and, at this point of time, he didn't want that to happen to wwx. from the pheonic mountain arc, we can already see specifically how the things wwx is hated for, nmj is equally praised for. the things wwx was previously encouraged to do is suddenly the sign of a heretic. his ghostly cultivation that had once won them an entire war had turned into demonic cultivation as wwx is literally demonised. like setting aside wwx who jc knew is not close to wicked, jc also knew all the rumour mongering led by the cultivation world was wrong because he saw himself that the people wwx rescued included a little child and once cultivators who had been forced from their swords and now have become farmers on a mountain of corpses. of course, jc has also been through an intersect war that took everything from him and is a very very young, traumatised person in a position of rocky power. he is held by his position of being a jiang sect leader and by the legacy of his father and mother and all the twisted anger and love and complexities they instilled into him. and as such, jc has been raised to uphold these values and conformity and so he says "choose between doing what's right for these poor condemned and powerless wens and doing whats right for the jiang sect", fully believing wwx would pick him and the sect over the wens because in jc's head it is logically the jiang sect above all.

both jc and Iwj had the same issue of loving wwx but not standing by his side against the cultivation world even though wwx would never be wwx if he ever abandoned the wens.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Spilled Pearls

- Chapter 3 - ao3 -

The closing ceremony of the discussion conference was dignified and serene, as appropriate for an event hosted by the Lan sect, and after it was done everyone milled around to chat a little more before starting to break off into groups to leave.

The leaders of the Great Sects naturally gathered together.

They were an unusual mix. Wen Ruohan was the eldest by an entire generation, technically hailing from the generation of Lan Qiren’s grandfather even if his extraordinary cultivation made him seem as young as Lan Qiren’s brother; after him there was Lan Qiren’s father and the Jiang sect leader, Jiang Menglin, who themselves were a generation above their younger counterparts from the Nie and Jin clans – Jin Guangshan especially, having only inherited his position in the past year.

Lan Qiren’s brother stood beside them, speaking with them with his head held high. Their father planned to slowly transition sect leadership to him over the next half-decade so that he himself might be allowed to retire from the mundane world to focus on cultivation, as Lan An ultimately did. In accordance with that plan, he had allowed him to take the lead on hosting certain small events at the discussion conference, like the night-hunting.

Lan Qiren was there, too.

He was lurking as far to the back of the platform as he could get, trying simultaneously to perfectly reflect his sect’s expectations for proper behavior while also doing his utmost to remain beneath anyone’s notice – Lao Nie had caught his gaze at one point and winked, a friendly older man’s indulgence of a junior, but that was in large part unavoidable given the man’s gregarious personality – and enjoying the rare moment in which he could see his father at something other than a distance.

He usually only saw his father when he was brought before him to report on his achievements, typically once a month. When he was younger, he had been accompanied by one of his teachers, who would report on him while Lan Qiren anxiously examined his father’s face for signs of approval; now that he was older, he went by himself, dipping into a deep salute as he recited anything of interest, and sometimes if he really exerted himself his father would reward him with a word of praise.

Lan Qiren was only allowed to stand with the rest of them on the basis of a technicality – his father hadn’t officially transferred power to his eldest son and wouldn’t for a while yet, so he had brought along both of them on the transparent excuse that they could provide company for Jin Guangshan and Lao Nie as members of the same generation. It was very much a technicality in Lan Qiren’s case, given his much younger age; he fell on the very tail end of their generation on account of the circumstances of his belated birth.

Lan Qiren’s birth was very late to allow him to be considered a peer to those a decade or more older than him, in fact, but that was the way of things.

He was a child of duty, rather than pleasure.

His parents had been very much in love, as was the Lan sect’s way, and together they had had two sons and a daughter within six years, each one of them deeply beloved. But perhaps their joy had been too complete, because the heavens had not permitted it to last: they lost their younger son and daughter both – one to an unexpected illness, the other to an accident. Their eldest, Lan Qiren’s brother, was still there, but it would have been irresponsible to have only a single heir to a Great Sect. Accordingly, under great pressure from the sect elders, they had sought to have another child, only to fail time and time again, enduring countless miscarriages and stillbirths alike.

There had even been some debate as to whether such a situation permitted the sect leader to take on a concubine, regardless of custom or even his own wishes. Desperate to prevent such a result, Lan Qiren’s mother had inadvisedly taken certain drugs to encourage conception and at last Lan Qiren had been successfully born in a slow and bloody labor that had sapped his mother’s already poor health. She had died a few years later, suffering a recurrence of the infection left behind from his birth. Lan Qiren had been too young to really remember her, but he knew that his brother had blamed him for her loss ever since.

He sometimes wondered if his father did, too.

Of course, unlike his brother, his father had never said as much. As the Lan sect leader, he was graceful and refined, educated and reserved, a venerable and venerated cultivator; it was widely agreed that he would never have planned to retire so early if it hadn’t been for losing his true love all those years ago. Perhaps he might even have been another Wen Ruohan, seemingly ageless, striving for immortality – at any rate, he would never be so petty as to mistreat a person due to the circumstances beyond their control. It was something he had heard that his father had said from one of the other Lan sect juniors, and at any rate it was in the rules, and Lan Qiren believed in the rules.

Besides, it wasn’t a surprise that Lan Qiren would be an afterthought in comparison to his brother, the already famous Qingheng-jun, who his father treasured like a pearl cupped in his palm. His brother was the much-anticipated first child of his father’s happy youth, the reminder of good days gone by, a child who had survived the misfortunes that had taken his siblings, and Lan Qiren’s brother repaid his father’s adoration with strength, intelligence, and endless potential. He was a cultivation maniac, yet good at managing the other juniors; he was cold and aloof, elegant, yet capable of being personable and even charming when needed. He was one of the shining stars of his generation, already a powerful cultivator and a respected gentleman even though he’d only just passed twenty-one. Even the name which he was commonly called, Qingheng-jun, was a rarity, a personal title unusual in this peaceful day and age.

Lan Qiren, in contrast, was slow and clumsy, with only average cultivation skills and positively dire social skills. While his teachers praised his strong academic skills and musical talent, the Lan sect followed first and foremost the orthodox path of swordsmanship; once his weakness in that area had been discovered, many of his sect elders lost interest in him as anything other than the inferior back-up plan that he was.

Undoubtedly that was why, when Wen Ruohan turned to Lan Qiren’s father and said, “Your son is a credit to you,” everyone assumed he was talking about Qingheng-jun.

“Sect Leader Wen does him too much honor,” their father said, clearly pleased despite his deprecating words. After all, Wen Ruohan, Sect Leader Wen, was well known to be extraordinarily sparing with his praise for any who didn’t share his bloodline or surname. “My unworthy son is still young and foolish. His eyes are always fixed upon cultivation, never straying – he doesn’t even spare time for girls, despite his advancing years!”

The other sect leaders were smiling, and Lao Nie already opening his mouth to say something teasing, when Wen Ruohan said, “I meant your other son.”

Lan Qiren wasn’t prepared at all for all the sect leaders to turn to look at him.

He shrunk back.

“Qiren?” his father said, almost as if he were checking to confirm that that was the right name, a trace of doubt in his voice even as Lan Qiren’s brother’s face went white with humiliation. “I didn’t realize you’d had a chance to hear him play.”

“Regrettably I have not yet had that pleasure,” Wen Ruohan said, a slightly strange expression on his face. “We merely exchanged some charming conversation, that’s all. Is that his most notable skill?”

“His accomplishments as a musical cultivator are sufficient to rank him among the adults of his already talented sect,” Lao Nie volunteered when there was a brief pause, and Lan Qiren’s father was quick to smile and nod along. “You missed out, Sect Leader Wen.”

“Perhaps another time,” Wen Ruohan said, his return smile still strange and almost subtly displeased, though Lan Qiren would hardly trust himself to know for sure.

At that point, Jiang Menglin spoke up, changing the subject, and most everyone joined in, all of them evidently relieved – not least of all Lan Qiren himself, who had started wondering if there was some way he could become invisible or else fall into a deep chasm that might conveniently open up beneath his feet.

Nothing more was said on the subject until the ceremony was done and the last of their guests departed, when Lan Qiren’s brother tracked him down and hissed, “What did you do?”

“Nothing!” Lan Qiren cried out. “We only talked!”

“You mean you talked at him the way you always do – ”

Their father cleared his throat, having come up behind them, and they both turned at once and dropped into deep salutes.

“Do not think about it too much,” he said, voice distant as the cold wind on a winter night. “Sect Leader Wen sometimes likes to make trouble for the sake of making trouble, especially if he thinks he has found a weakness. You will need to be on your guard against that when you are sect leader.”

He was talking to Lan Qiren’s brother, of course. Lan Qiren could count, and had, the number of times his father addressed him directly in a given year, but it was only reasonable – he wasn’t the heir, doomed to take on the burden of leadership, and so there was much less his father needed to say to him.

“Yes, Father,” his brother said. “I’ll remember.”

“Do not trouble your younger brother over nonsense.”

Lan Qiren felt his brother’s angry gaze like a flame against his skin, even if it wasn’t anywhere as weighty as Wen Ruohan’s. He did not understand what he had done wrong, whether to Wen Ruohan to decide to make trouble using his name or to his brother now that had made him angry, but that wasn’t so much different from the usual.

“Very well, Father,” his brother said. “I won’t.”

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

i'm so TIRED of people with vivid imaginations trying to convince every1 the things their brains came up with happened in MDZS, just saw some1 say about lan mom "SOMETHING went down between a creepy teacher and their mother. She gets forced into marriage with a man she doesn’t love and IMPRISONED before eventually committing suicide/ falling sick and dying" like WHERE? the only piece of information was LXC saying "i have no idea WTF happened" so he doesn't know, MXTX doesn't know but you do???

Some of this is a shock for my system so early in the morning... alright... I guess we're gonna go step by step with this just cause people are awful at reading, along with my stance on this particular bit of prevalent discourse.

Since this is greatly misinterpreted for whatever reasons, here is the relevant passage and only one in the text we get concerning the Lan parents. I'm going to add that this is alllll relaid by Lan Xichen and to keep that in mind with what is highlighted.

He spoke slowly, “The reason that my father often practiced secluded meditation was my mother. This place, compared to a place of living… was more like a place of detention.”

Wei WuXian was surprised.

The father of ZeWu-Jun and HanGuang-Jun, QingHeng-Jun, used to be a famous cultivator. He made his name at a young age and had many things waiting for him in the future. However, at the age of twenty, he suddenly backed away and announced his marriage. He had also ceased to care for much of the world. Although it was called secluded meditation, it was much more like retirement. People had come up with many possible reasons, but none of them had been verified.

Lan XiChen bent down amid the clusters of gentians. He gently stroked those thin, tender petals, “When my father was young, when he returned from a night-hunt once, he saw my mother outside of Gusu city.” He smiled, “I heard that it was love at first sight.”

Wei WuXian grinned as well, “The young are often sentimental.”

Lan XiChen continued, “But, the woman did not care for him the same way. In addition, she killed one of my father’s teachers.”

This was beyond imagination. Although Wei WuXian knew that asking too many questions would be very rude, however when he remembered that they had been Lan WangJi’s parents, he felt that he just had to ask. “Why?!”

Lan XiChen, “I do not know. But, I assume that it was something along the lines of ‘grievances’.”

Wei WuXian didn’t ask anymore into this and forced down his curiosity, “And… what happened later?”

“And then,” Lan XiChen explained, “When my father heard of this, of course he was in much pain. But, no matter how he struggled, he still took the woman to his sect in secrecy. Ignoring the objections from his clan, he knelt with her for the Heavens and the Earth without making a sound and told everyone in the clan that she would be his wife for the rest of his life, that whoever wanted to harm her would have to pass through him first.”

Wei WuXian widened his eyes.

Lan XiChen continued, “After the ceremony was completed, my father found a house and locked my mother inside. He found another house and locked himself inside. It was called secluded meditation, but it was in truth to repent.”

He paused before speaking again, “Young Master Wei, can you understand why he did such a thing?”

Wei WuXian answered after a moment of silence, “He could neither forgive the one who killed his teacher nor watch the death of the woman who he loved. He could only marry her to protect her life and force himself not to see her.”

Lan XiChen, “Do you think that this was right?”

Wei WuXian, “I don’t know.”

Lan XiChen looked somewhat lost, “Then, what do you think would be right?”

Wei WuXian, “I don’t know.”

A while later, Lan XiChen whispered, “It could be said that my father did this without a care for anything else. All of the seniors of the clan were enraged, but they had all watched him grow up. They could not do anything except guard this secret, hint to the outside world that the wife of the GusuLan Sect’s sect leader had an unspeakable disease and could not see others. After WangJi and I were born, we were immediately taken away to be cared for by other people. When we grew older, we were brought to Uncle to be taught."

“My shufu… has always had a frank personality to begin with. Because of how my mother caused my father to destroy his own life, he began to hate those who behaved improperly even more. Thus, he poured his heart into teaching WangJi and me. He was especially harsh as well. Every month, we could only see Mother once, inside of this cottage.”

They were two young children, who faced everyday only their harsh uncle, strict teachings, and mountains of books. No matter how tired, they had to straighten their soft backs to be the most outstanding disciples of the clan, the model students in others’ eyes. They could rarely see their closest relatives. They couldn’t fool around in their father’s arms, they couldn’t act spoiled in front of their mother.

But they had clearly done nothing wrong.

Lan XiChen, “Everytime WangJi and I went to see her, she would never complain about how tedious it was being locked inside of here, unable to step out once. She had never asked about our studies, either. She especially liked to tease WangJi, but WangJi, the more you tease him the less willing he is to talk, and the worse of an expression he puts on. He has been like this ever since he was young. However,” he chuckled, “even though WangJi never said it, I knew that every month he was looking forward to the day he could see Mother. He was like this, and I was the same.”

Wei WuXian imagined a young Lan WangJi hugged inside of his mother’s arms, his snowy little cheeks flushed pink. He laughed as well. But before his smile had even melted, Lan XiChen continued, “But one day, Uncle suddenly told us that we would have no need to go any longer."

“Mother was gone.”

Wei WuXian’s voice was soft, “How old was Lan Zhan back then?”

Lan XiChen, “Six.”

He continued, “He was still too young to understand what ‘gone’ means. No matter how much others comforted him, or how much Uncle scolded him, he would continue to come back here every single month, sit down in the hallway, and wait for someone to open the door for him. When he grew older, he understood that Mother would not be coming back, that no one would open the door for him, but he kept on coming here.”

Lan XiChen stood up. His dark eyes looked into Wei WuXian’s, “WangJi has been so stubborn ever since he was young.”

The leaves rustled and the gentian flowers swished alongside the wind, their scent lingering. Wei WuXian’s eyes landed on the wooden hallway of the cottage. He could almost see a small child wearing a forehead ribbon sitting with proper posture in front of the house, waiting quietly for the door to open.

He spoke, “Madam Lan must’ve been a very gentle woman.”

Lan XiChen, “In my memories, Mother had indeed been so. I do not know why she did such a thing back then. And, in truth, I…”

He took a deep breath before confessing, “I do not want to know either.”

After a few moments of silence, Lan XiChen closed his eyes. He took out Liebing. A gust of night wind suddenly sent forth a sobbing note of the xiao. The sound was deep, like a sigh.

Wei WuXian had heard Lan XiChen play Liebing before. Its timbre was just like Lan XiChen himself, as warm and graceful as a breeze and the rain of spring. Yet, now, although his technique was as excellent as ever, the tone evoked a strange mixture of feelings.

The night wind swept by. Lan XiChen’s hair and forehead ribbon were already somewhat disheveled. However, the GusuLan Sect’s sect leader, who had always regarded appearance highly, didn’t pay any attention to them. He only put down Liebing after the song had finished, “Music is forbidden at night in the Cloud Recesses. Today I have overstepped far too many times. Excuse me, Wei gongzi.”

Wei WuXian, “How so? ZeWu-Jun, have you forgotten that the person standing in front of you is the person who has broken the most rules…”

Lan XiChen smiled, “The GusuLan Sect has never revealed these facts about Lan Wangji and myself outside of itself. I should not have told you. Tonight was my sudden urge to unburden myself, a spur of the moment.”

Wei WuXian, “I’m not the kind of person who talks too much. Don’t worry, ZeWu-Jun.”

Lan XiChen, “Regardless, I would assume that WangJi would not hide anything from you anyways.”

Wei WuXian, “If he doesn’t wish to talk about something then I won’t ask.”

Lan XiChen, “But, with WangJi’s personality, how could he say anything if you do not ask? There are some things that even if you ask him he would not say.”

Now that we have the context of the Lan parents laid out the only definitive answer for anything concerning their personal motivations for anything is "I DON'T KNOW". Their secrets and thoughts literally died with them.

And this entire story Lan Xichen told in the end, had nothing to do with his parents. He did not tell Wei Wuxian about them, he was speaking everything unsaid about Lan Wangji's motivations and his love of Wei Wuxian. He does not care why his parents did what they did, but he does for the one that is alive. His brother who he had just had a bit of a veiled conversation about Lan Wangji's pure trust in Wei Wuxian. Who, in Lan Xichen's eyes, had already rejected his brother's love and did not feel the same, mirroring the past of their father's apparent unrequited love. He is saying Lan Wangji is sacrificing his all, unvoiced.

His pressing of if his parent "are right" is him asking Wei Wuxian what he feels about those sacrifices, if he can see the sacrifices Lan Wangji had gone through. At this point he along with Lan Wangji have assumed Wei Wuxian knows and remembers what he had said within the cave. He is telling Wei Wuxian his brother has alway been this way for those he loves regardless of what they may be perceived as by outsiders.

"Today I have overstepped far too many times. Excuse me, Wei gongzi.”"

"I should not have told you. Tonight was my sudden urge to unburden myself, a spur of the moment.”

Meaning, it was not his place to tell this about his brother, but there is no one else that would, and Lan Wangji would never say anything about his feelings again. Lan Xichen is first and foremost worried about where his brother has placed his love, as he knows, regardless of what rumors surround those he loves, his brother will still be forever loyal to them without question if he believes them to be in the right.

Lan Xichen is warning Wei Wuxian he needs to take care in his actions as he approaches Lan Wangji as Xichen is well aware already of how Lan Wangji will go through hell for others he adores. From the start it was never about his parents, as Lan Xichen says, "I do not want to know either,". But what he does want to know is where Wei Wuxian stands with his own feelings towards Lan Wangji or if he is still using his brother as he has thought for years. Leaving Lan Xichen to protect him as best as he can while Lan Wangji stays hurt for others with no happiness for himself.

[rosethornewrites]

Fics I read this week!

I started this right after posting the last one, so I’ll hopefully keep it up. A lot of the multichapter fics are ones I subscribed to that finished. A lot of the one-shots are under 5k words, with some being 100-word ficlets.

Finished:

Not Rated:

Wei Changze's weird day, by Weiyingbestboy

Wei Changze was minding his own business, when four potential time travellers dropped out of the sky. Literally.

Serenity Cave, by Anonymous

The travel home had been mostly silent. Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian competing for who could say the least amount of words.

Then, as they’d been walking along the mountain path, just a little past the gates of Cloud Recesses, a hole suddenly opened up in the ground beneath them and they fell into a small rock cave. Then the hole shrunk until it was barely big enough to poke a sword through. Just enough of a gap that they had a bit of light and wouldn’t suffocate, but definitely too small to escape through.

The earth had swallowed them.

…

In the middle of an argument, Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian get trapped in a cave.

In Which Lan Xichen Returns to the World, by AshurbanipalJones

Lan Xichen ends his isolation after the death of Jin Guangyao.

In Which Lan Qiren Requests an Audience, by AshurbanipalJones

Lan Qiren wants to discuss Important Matters with his nephew. His nephew is kinda not having it.

Mercy Meet Vengeance, by ShanaStoryteller (7th in a series)

The first time Wen Qing meets Wei Wuxian, she has a white sash around her waist.

Rated E:

Thirty-three Lashes, by Winglesss (20 chapters)

Yiling Laozu is dead. He's been dead for over a thousand years. For over a thousand years Lan Wangji has been wandering the world alone, helping where he's needed.

It's when he meets a mysterious cultivator and a strange curse starts to torment his body that the past and the present start to mingle, igniting emotions Lan Wangji almost forgot he was able to feel.

curiosity is the beginning, by everyearning (noctiphany)

He's just curious. Wangi's brother always said he had an insatiable thirst for knowledge. He also said it was going to get him in trouble one day.

Rated M:

devil from heaven, by incendir (3 chapters)

He would like to think that he knows what Lan Wangji could enjoy, if he’d let himself do so.

(or, wei wuxian's road to discovering lan wangji's yiling patriarch kink)

in this lifetime, by hauntedotamatone

Lan Wangji must reach him. There is still time. All he has to do is reach him. They’ll take A-Yuan and whoever remains and they’ll go as far and fast as they can. The world is vast, there must be a place for them somewhere, and if there is not, then he will carve one out from nothing if that is what it will take.

“Wei Ying!” he calls out to him over the roar of the flames and the familiar and terrible sounds of battle. At first, he thinks that Wei Ying is ignoring him or otherwise does not hear him. Then, his fingers still over his flute. He looks up with those empty eyes, unseeing. There is no hatred in them, but there is no affection or recognition either. There is nothing at all.

Lan Wangji has a terrible nightmare for the first time in years. For the first time in years, he does not wake up alone.

We Are Family, by Duochanfan (13 chapters)

Jiang Yanli heard the words spewing from Jin Zixun's mouth and said enough. After putting the man in his place she leaves the Hunt with her brother and Lan Wangji. The three come across Wen Qing, and with that simple meeting, they change what could have happened to something else entirely.

until it's time to see the light, I'll make my own with you each night, by backbones

His husband would never go back to sleep if he sensed something was wrong, and he always did. He knew him better than he knew himself, sometimes, and maybe that was why that feeling was so foreign it was horrifying. He wanted to keep that part of himself close, a well-kept secret, and now, deep down, he knew it was too late for that.

Or: After having a nightmare in a deep sleep, Wei Wuxian has a surprise visit from an old childhood habit.

Rated T:

Wei Wuxian Discovers Bisexuality, by arcaladiwoompa

AU where WWX decides he quite enjoys being passionately kissed against a tree by an unknown assailant and acts on it instead of just sitting there going herp derp I wonder who this very strong cultivator could possibly be.

Rescue, by WithBroomBefore (6 chapters)

Post-Sunshot fix-it AU featuring Jiang siblings taking care of each other, among other things.

Over the Rotted Bridge, by vailkagami (41 chapters)

Lan Wangji saves the Wen remants from execution but is killed in the process. The Yiling Patriarch loses himself in grief and rage and the determination to bring him back no matter what.

The world is not on his side in this. It is not on either of their sides when he succeeds. But The World is not all of its people, and some things can always be salvaged from the ruins.

Across, by vailkagami

An epilogue to the story "Over the Rotted Bridge", set in the far future. Cannot stand alone.

Centuries after the fall of the cultivation world, Wei Wuxian and Wangji return to the burial mounds for the last time.

Completion, by youjezebel

Lan Wangji misses raising A-Yuan. Wei Wuxian wants to be a father. In the end, everything works out perfectly.

Second Nephew, by vividneonmanias

"You need to stop talking to Wàngjī," Lan Xīchén told him, in the uncannily stern tones of a Sect Leader and not a nephew; "and preferably stop talking about him, if you cannot control yourself."

In the years following Wèi Wúxiàn's death, Lán Qǐrén learns to hold his tongue. But he still wants to know his second nephew. Some things need to be said; some questions need to be asked.

oceans, drowned in starfire, by stiltonbasket (10 chapters)

Lan Wangji breathes.

There is a tattered red ribbon trailing through the water beside him, and below him, a crooning, echoing song that clears his mind and stops him from struggling against the waves.

Lan Wangji breathes, and sleeps, and wakes again.

When he opens his eyes on the beach to find Huan-ge and Shufu crying over his body, he hears a lifeguard say that he was underwater for almost half an hour. ___

Tired of life in the business world, Lan Wangji returns to his mother’s old house to pursue a career as a novelist and search for the mysterious fisherman who rescued him after he nearly drowned on a whale-watching trip twenty years ago.

He wasn’t expecting much more than a quiet refuge to serve as inspiration for his work, and restore his spirits after half a lifetime spent in the city. But when a lost merbaby washes up on the beach in Caiyi, Lan Wangji realizes that his childhood savior might be closer than he thinks.

adding shadows to the walls of the cave, by Fleetling

It didn’t take Wei Wuxian long to see what he was pointing at, and as soon as he did, the smaller man turned back to face their juniors. “Cave!” he shouted across the thunder of the raindrops hitting the muddy path. “Hanguang-Jun found us a cave! We’ll stop to dry off, and head out again once the rain has stopped!” Beside him, Lan Wangji inclined his head in silent agreement. The bickering of the juniors cut out as they focused on making it the remaining short distance on the slippery ground.

They all huddled into the entrance of the cave, taking refuge from the rain, but waiting for directions before heading in.

Ouyang Zizhen ran his hand over the wall, feeling slight bumps and indents below his fingers. He brushed off the dirt, reading the characters revealed. “The lovers’ cave,” he read, shaking his head with a smile. Probably a local pair who came here occasionally. It was a bit romantic, when one thought of it. It also probably meant that the cave was safe - no lovers would hide away in a cave that contained resentful energy or other dangers.

Say It Until I Hear You, by DrowningByDegrees

Lan Zhan does not say what has him rattled, but neither does he retreat. He concedes by fractions, an embrace he does not shake off, a shaky sigh when his forehead comes to rest against Wei Wuxian’s collarbone, a wordless surrender when Wei Wuxian gathers him closer. Wei Wuxian doesn’t know precisely which ones, but there are ghosts in bed with them tonight, sorrow and regret and all the might have beens they cast aside so long ago.

Dull Comforts, by Just_Another_Mystery

Five times Làn Sīzhuī pondered the existence of a parent he does not remember having.

Downpour, by milesofheart

The way Wei Ying had looked at him…warily, expecting a fight, steeling himself for Lan Wangji to denounce him. Waiting for the worst from Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji’s heart cracked down the middle and his whole body shook as he wept now in the rain, the mud of Qiongqi Path seeping into his once-pristine robes.

on the importance of home (and all it implies), by nixtothou

The Burial Mounds are empty.

Wei Wuxian had expected this, yet for some reason it still hurt to see.

The Best Place to Study, by adrian_kres

Lan Zhan decides to study in the law library this time. He leaves with a boyfriend.

Rated G:

cadillac converter, by mdzsed

lan zhan's car starts making weird noises so he takes it to get it repaired. the new mechanic does not look like he knows what he's doing. good thing lan zhan is no fool.

or: lan zhan makes a complete idiot out of himself but hey, it scored him a date with a handsome mechanic so it's all good.

a small spark, by sebfish

It had started, as many things did, because Wen Qing was worried, and Wei Wuxian had learned early on that she wouldn’t budge until she’d gotten her way.

Winter in Cloud Recesses, by Sarehz

Winter in Cloud Recesses was cold. Really cold. It was a chill that penetrated Wei Wuxian's bones and reminded him of that period after his parents died when he shivered alone in the streets.

His Face, by AshayaTReldai

Among Su She's possessions was found a qiankun pouch containing a sheaf of sketches of Hanguang Jun, inspiring a lifetime's exchange between Wei Wuxian and his husband Lan Wangji, studies of his face.

anger, by theninjacat

Beloved Old Lines, by Preludian_Staves

A quiet Wuxian was a creature Qiren had learned to never trust in mixed company.

I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight, by Sarehz

Wei Wuxian was sitting on the roof. Again. It had become his go to place recently when he had to attend these sort of boring meetings where all the Sect Leader's met up and congratulated each other on defeating Wen Ruohan and blah blah blah.

Unexpected, by WithBroomBefore

It is not, from Lan Wangji’s perspective, an unpleasant kiss. He has no particular objection to kissing people, though admittedly he has only ever done so as a prelude to activities that involve various other bits of the body. And it is Wei Wuxian; nothing involving Wei Wuxian is awful. The kiss is...fine.

Modern AU, just some aroace/aro queerplatonic roommates finding the words.

An Accidental Clothes Thief, by Preludian_Staves

He should have probably realized what he'd accidentally done before starting work on a new talisman.

Groupie, by Speechless_since_1998

Being the manager of a band was hard work, but someone had to do it. And Lan Xichen was the only one able to keep members of his brother's band in line.

A Silver Thread, by DizziDreams

Lan Wangji is brushing Wei Ying's Hair before bed, when he sees it, glinting like a fish through the dark glassy waters of a deep pool:

A single, silver hair.

The sky is overcast and I'm sorry, by hamlets_ghost (8th part of a series)

Wangji's brother is gone once again.

A-niang explains.

Follow the sound of pipe, follow this song, by fairyprincess2

He took the last steps needed to reach the opening and there he was, black and red clothes flying with the wind, hair bound up in a ponytail with a red hair band. He was standing with his back facing Lan Wangji but it was him, he knew it was.

(In)Hindsight, it's obvious, by Potatoes_Radishes 

Lan Qiren woke up undisturbed, calm and refreshed, that was enough for him to immediately know something was odd, mainly due to the lack of noises during the night that made him suspect it, he grumbled away his frustrations regarding what he assumed would have been another prank as he got up to get dressed.

When he left the bathroom and moved outside, a very different set of robes awaited him, one he hadn’t worn in years. He finally took a notice of his surrounding, the room was different resembling the one from before their rebuilding, not caring about his state of undress as he open the door almost on the verge of panic, the first thing that rang out in the morning was a loud yell of “WEI WUXIAN!!!”

Unfinished:

Rated E:

taking over you, by sassybluee (3rd in a series)

Before, he’d once fantasized about giving in—shutting Wei Ying up with his lips, stilling his limbs with his own forehead ribbon. He imagined himself making demands. And then Wei Ying went missing. Wei Ying was presumed dead. And Wei Ying returned from the Burial Mounds. By then, Lan Wangji’s desires had long since cooled, and all that remained was longing. Longing to ease Wei Ying’s suffering. Longing to help him know he was not as alone as he seemed to feel. He would have gladly given him everything back then, if he knew how to ask for it. Would have surrendered his body to show him he cared.

And now?

_____

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian explore married life, and all that entails.

Rated M:

Keep Holding On, by abCEE

As they reached an inn and Wei Wuxian got them a room with three beds, the world seemed to have frozen for Jiang Yanli when her brother suddenly fainted and Jiang Wanyin was just fast enough to catch him before his body could hit the floor.

"A-Xian!"

"Wei Wuxian!"

In which after the Lotus Pier Massacre: Wei Wuxian was greatly injured by Zidian, Jiang Yanli left the inn to buy the medicines and food, and Jiang Wanyin distracted the Wens.

(With a bonus of Wei Wuxian knowing the title of the song and more things ensued inside the Xuanwu Cave that may or may have not involved Lan Wangji's forehead ribbon)

Canon diverged from there.

Sacrifices Made with Blood, by NocturnalFriend

Lan Wangji knew it was too late, there was too much blood on Wei Ying's hands already. Still, if he asked his brother for help, surely. There was a way to rescue the man who held his heart?

Or: Trust is not easily given and all to easily shattered. Lan Wangji learns this in the worst way, when Lan Xichen gives into the demands of the cultivation world. Although nobody could have predicted the whims of fate, giving them another chance at righting things.

lan jingyi vs. the laws of time itself, by agloeian (2nd in a series)

His kick has dislodged some stray fragments of Guanyin Temple's destroyed ceiling beams. Jingyi stares at them as he kneads his toes through his boot. They’re as red as the blood that stains the floor beneath him, sharp and splintering. Wind whistles through the wood and stone, though there’s a flickering too - the sound of paper fluttering in the breeze.

A talisman written in blood.

---

Lan Jingyi finds a way home.

Dream a little dream of me, by Moominmammashandbag

Lan WangJi braced himself.

“Wei Ying.” he said.

“You are not dreaming. This is real. You have been rescued.”

“The kissing bit comes first!” said Wei Wuxian impatiently.

“But…I cannot kiss you if you think you are dreaming!"

“I don’t see the logic in that.” said Wei Wuxian. “I obviously want you to kiss me or I wouldn’t be dreaming about it!

Rated T:

Love Song In Reverse, by timetoboldlygo

Wei Wuxian gasps back into life without a single memory left. His friends, his siblings, his home — all lost to the fog in his head, nothing more than a mystery slipping through his fingers. What else was there to do but carry himself around in bits and parts, trying to become whole, a letter waiting to be written? He is – he is Mo Xuanyu, isn’t he? In this body, with these people. This family. He has to be Mo Xuanyu, he didn’t know anything else, even if the name sounded wrong. That was all he had.

Well, that and Hanguang-jun.

Lan Wangji, for his part, has had his taste of love and lost it. In all his grieving and searching, he didn’t expect to find another.

-

Wei Wuxian gets resurrected, loses his memories, and falls in love.

Here We Go Again, by Alliandra

He looked over to where the swordswoman was still fighting, but her focus seemed entirely locked onto that fight so it was unlikely that she could have had anything to do with the energy drain. He was still wracking his brain for something else to do to assist, so this thing didn’t kill them both, but now he was feeling weak, dizzy and currently not far from helpless.

~~~~~~~~~~

It has been several months since the events at the Guanyin temple and Wei Wuxian is wandering around on his own. After he helps a stranger kill a very dangerous beast he uncovers what seems to be a conspiracy aimed at ending his life. He heads back to Cloud Recesses with his new companion in tow, looking to get Lan Wanji's help in working out what is involved.

Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling made a surprising discovery under Koi Tower that may well be linked to the threat against Wei Wuxian's life.

Can they all work together to find out what is going on and put a stop to it, before something disastrous occurs?

A Teacher’s Oath, by MaelStromm

Deep down, only one thing really matters.

It is not being a good Lan, despite what the entire cultivation world may think, nor is it "sucking the fun out of life" as some disciple had once said.

More than anything, Lan Qiren is a good teacher.

Despite too many to count prejudices and the boy's chaotic behavior, he'll burn his ribbon before he lets this genius be wasted.

Or :

An AU where LQR gets along with WWX and somehow ends up having to deal with far too much drama.

I've Heard of Second Chances, but This Is Ridiculous, by velvet_green

One of Wei Wuxian’s experimental talisman arrays sends himself, his husband and his brother to that mythical land of long ago – the Gusu Lan lectures of their youth.

Wei Wuxian is amused. Lan Wangji is silent. Jiang Cheng is angry.

And their younger versions are mostly just very, very confused.

[franniebanana]

CQL Rewatch - Ep 16

This is actually really sad, because how badly do we want to see this kid actually shoot Wen Zhuliu? I mean, they even go into hearing Jiang Fengmian’s words echoing in his mind. It’s the perfect setup for some heroic act that just doesn’t happen. It’s weird how even though I know what happens, I’m like, maybe this time it won’t! I mean, it’s good all this happens, because I like what it does to the characters, but it’s still hard to watch. I think this part is probably the bloodiest part in the entire show. Don’t quote me, but it’s pretty bloody.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, it’s also really sad that Jiang Fengmian has this heroic entrance only to be cut down seconds later. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of the good guys win, but that’s not how this story really works. The line between good and bad is thin and warped and blended together, and who we think is good doesn’t always come out on top. But again, if Lotus Pier hadn’t fallen, how would Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian have turned out? What would have happened to Jiang Yanli? I like how these events set into motion so much growth for these characters, and it’s not always positive growth either.

Ugh, I hate it. I hate it! Seeing all these men, women, children, who have been ruthlessly murdered by the Wen Clan—it’s just horrible. And from Wei Wuxian’s perspective, these people were his only family. This was the place that had taken him in when he was very young—it’s the only home he really remembers. And in a matter of hours, it was taken completely away from him. Obviously he’s angry—very angry—and upset. And whatever he feels, it’s only amplified in Jiang Cheng, who is already more emotional and quick-tempered. Not to mention, those are his actual parents, who he loves very much. Of course, his first reaction is to want revenge, which Wei Wuxian temporarily manages to talk him out of.

I like that we get Madam Yu’s perspective throughout this part. I like that she was the one who staunchly defended her home, and I like how she was the last man standing. As horrible as all this is, I get a warm feeling from seeing how she really does care about her family and her husband. I think it’s important that we get to see this before she dies, so that we can see that yes, there was some good in her. She loved her home, her clan, and her family enough that she would die for them. And I really like that she dies by her own hand on her own terms. She got to take that away from the Wens.

And we’re back to this again. It isn’t enough to have the Wen Clan to blame for what happened to his parents and Lotus Pier—no. Jiang Cheng seems to believe deep down that if Wei Wuxian hadn’t helped Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan, things would be different: his parents would still be alive and Lotus Pier would be fine. Of course, that’s not true. The Wens would not have ever stopped. They wanted to lord over all the clans, even the Yunmeng Jiangs. But Jiang Cheng needs to blame someone and who better than Wei Wuxian? And after this point, he holds this grudge forever. Everything else just compounds upon this event.

And Wei Wuxian again just takes it. He doesn’t argue that the Wens would have done it anyway, he doesn’t try to defend himself at all. He must know that when Jiang Cheng makes up his mind, that’s it—there’s no changing things. I’m guessing by the time the morning rolls around, Jiang Cheng has already decided to seek revenge immediately, against Wei Wuxian’s advice. Again, we have a contrast of someone who is very analytical (Wei Wuxian) and someone who’s very emotional (Jiang Cheng), and Jiang Cheng ends up paying for it. And that’s his decision, even though he tries to place that blame on Wei Wuxian.

While Jiang Cheng is feeling sorry for himself, Wei Wuxian is the first to mention Jiang Yanli, who is still waiting for them. Of course Jiang Cheng has just gone through someone extremely traumatic—I don’t expect him to be on top of things, but I appreciate how level-headed that Wei Wuxian is able to be, given that the experience was also traumatic for him. Again, more contrast between the two characters. And not only contrast between those two, but look back at what happened at the Cloud Recesses and how Lan Wangji dealt with his own loss. He did not give up and shut down, like we see Jiang Cheng doing. He understood that life must go on. Was he upset that his brother was missing? Of course he was! Was he horrified by what happened to his home? Fuck, yes! But he didn’t get the opportunity to wallow in self-pity and depression like Jiang Cheng is. He had no one to support him like Jiang Cheng does. Jiang Cheng has a ton of people around him right now, in comparison, yet he behaves as if he’s alone. He lashes out emotionally, he recklessly goes back to Lotus Pier, abandoning his sister, who’s sick and alone. I don’t really care what he ultimately does to save Wei Wuxian, because I think it was clear that he was ready to die anyway. The outcome would have been the same for him, so distracting the Wen guards wasn’t really the selfless act that CQL kind of makes it out to be, albeit under the veil of Jiang Cheng’s memory.

Ugh, breaks my heart. Also irritates me that Wei Wuxian has to be the one to tell Yanli what happened. Like, can’t Jiang Cheng do it? Grow a pair and tell your own damn sister what happened to your parents and your home? Sorry, but I’m endlessly frustrated by him, no matter how realistic that response is. If I were Yanli, I’d want to hear that from my brother. But Jiang Cheng has basically checked out at this point. And I can’t imagine what’s going through Jiang Yanli’s mind. Her parents are dead, her home has been destroyed, her brother is distraught, and then she falls ill. She’s the oldest, she’s the one who should know what to do (whether or not she has any authority to do it)—this must be so difficult to feel like she needs to be strong for her two younger brothers, but to be completely falling apart emotionally.

Look at the physical distance here. It’s quite interesting, really, and good cinematography to show that chasm between them. It’s not just a physical gap but an emotional one as well. You have Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli, who just want to get out of danger so that they can figure out what to do next. And then you have Jiang Cheng, who just wants revenge. Even if it wasn’t obvious already, this scene shows how far apart they are from each other. It’s actually really cool.

I just feel that the only thing that was holding them all together was Wei Wuxian. He is taking his promise to Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian very seriously. This is not a game to him—he will do anything to keep them safe. That is his only purpose right now. Prior to episode 15, I think Wei Wuxian brought up Lan Wangji at least once per episode, whether Lan Wangji was there or not. That name has not passed his lips even once. Jiang Cheng has said it a few times, I think because blame game, of course, but Wei Wuxian is not even thinking about Lan Wangji. His focus right now is to get Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli to safety. Imagine if it were only Jiang Cheng and Yanli right now—if you take Wei Wuxian out of the picture, how do you think they would behave? I mean, realistically, Jiang Cheng would already be dead, because no one would have stopped him from going back to Lotus Pier that night. So thank god Wei Wuxian is here, right?

Look at his vacant expression. Has he even heard Wei Wuxian’s instructions? Probably he has but he just ignores them. His sister has a fever, and he leaves her alone in the inn. He abandons them both. And for what? What does he hope to accomplish alone? His parents and the entirety of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect couldn’t take down the Wens, so how does he expect to? I understand where he’s coming from—I am protective of my family as well—but what he needed to do was step back and wait, and by not doing that, he ruined his own life.

Besides wangxian, I think my favorite relationship in this series is the one between Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian. There’s something so sweet and so beautiful and so loving about two people who aren’t quite family but aren’t not family either. There is so much unconditional love between them that no matter what either of them does, the other will continue to be there. It’s like the relationship that Wei Wuxian could have with Jiang Cheng, but Jiang Cheng does not love Wei Wuxian as much as Wei Wuxian loves him. For a long time, I think Wei Wuxian’s love for Jiang Cheng was unconditional, but he learns over time that it can’t be that way with Jiang Cheng. But his relationship with Yanli is so different. She treats him like family, treats him like a little brother, and she protects and defends him in front of those who would wish to harm him. It’s just very sweet and tragic, of course.

So, this is an important moment. For obvious reasons, of course, but also because Wei Wuxian could have killed Wen Ning, but didn’t. He immediately accuses him of participating in the massacre and goes on to say, “I shouldn’t have saved you.” And Wen Ning responds that he just got to Lotus Pier and was not a part of the massacre at all. And here’s the big part: Wei Wuxian backs off. He believes him and he lets him go. This is important because it shows that Wei Wuxian can see past the clan, past the outfit, past the bloodline. Someone who can’t do that is Jiang Cheng. This is just one of those moments that shows you what kind of person Wei Wuxian really is, and if you remember he made a big point of praising Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen for teaming up together and for not being affiliated with any clans. So here we can see how Wei Wuxian has a penchant for not conforming to the orthodoxy of any of the clans—of the very fact that you need to be in a clan at all. People are more than the clans they are a part of, people are more than their blood relatives. Everyone gets to prove their own worth, regardless of their social status. This isn’t a big deal to someone with modern sensibilities, but within this world, it’s a big deal that Wei Wuxian trusts Wen Ning to help him and Jiang Cheng here. And in the book, he allowed Wen Qing to help them, and he doesn’t even know her. Book!Wen Qing is more awesome in my opinion, and her entrance in the story is great, because you don’t know if you can trust her. You have to trust Wen Ning too, just like Wei Wuxian—you’re taking the risk as well, as the reader.

One more thought: you can see why they’d form such a strong bong—two people who should by all rights be enemies, but instead they choose to work together to stand up to what’s wrong. This is what Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji were doing in the cave, what Wen Ning has already done when he helped Wei Wuxian out against the dog. This is a bond of brotherhood more than anything that the Twin Prides of Yunmeng ever had. It’s a really nice message, honestly. I often don’t appreciate Wen Ning, but they do have such a nice relationship that’s based on nothing but mutual trust and respect.

I find this oddly funny, because Wen Zhuliu is so resistant and doesn’t want to drink, but Wen Chao is so insistent that he ends up doing it. And of course that’s the thing that puts all of them out of commission for the next few days (I think), allowing Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian to get Jiang Cheng and his parents’ remains out of Lotus Pier. Such a simple decision, but if it had not been made this way, Wei Wuxian would have certainly been captured/killed by Wen Zhuliu.

The juxtaposition here is pretty extreme: the clean-clothed dancing ladies in the background, with the body of (I think) Madam Yu in the foreground, hanging there. It’s so disturbing to think about having this feast to celebrate a victory (massacre) with dead bodies hanging around you. Just very creepy and eerie.

I’m flying through these for good reason. Not a lot to say, just getting through plot, and I want to get back to my fave Lan Wangji. Biased? Why, yes, I am.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |

[eyeslikefoxglove]

Episode 21 - The PTSD is strong with this one & we need more braincells

Hello hello! Welcome to the commentary. How’s everyone? I’m frozen solid because it’s mid-June in Spain and yet we had 11°C yesterday. Fucking awesome!

I AM NOT WEARING MASCARA SO I CAN CRY ALL I WANT. I DONT KNOW IF THATS GOOD OR BAD THO.

Can I just take a second to appreciate how much this big strong powerful men emote? I mean, I know this isn’t western media where the tough guy can’t show emotions, and I don’t know that eastern media has the same hangups about men emoting but just... it’s so refreshing.

Huaisang bb you’re so sweet.

Oh, oh the PTSD is strong with this one.

Also, bless both JC and NHS, they absolutely noticed WWX flinch and, in their own ways, went and steamrolled over it so WWX wouldn’t feel scrutinised.

WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST TO INFORM YALL THAT I GOT A KITTEN ON MY LAP. (She’s kneading my boob, which, ow, but...)

*BICHEN GRIIIIIIIP*

How do y’all think the guards go deliver bad news to WRH? Like do they paper-rock-scissor it? Draw straws?

NMJ did you have to?

And once again I wonder what would’ve happened if JFM had let sect leader Yao kick it.

Ughvhfnevus it’s this clown. Same as with Su She, if you see a bunch of screaming it’s just me not wanting to listen to Jin ZiXun.

The Nies: let’s throw a banquet to honour WWX’s return

Every asshole there: *gossips about WWX while in the room with him*

Once again I wish I could transmigrate (and speak mandarin lol) and just start delivering tongue lashings.

Listen, I have no idea how to play Guqin, but I did play the guitar for years and even from here I can see how much YiBo’s hands don’t match the melody. Nothing against him but why does this always happen? I know they got classes, so was the music not written by that time or something? Because one thing is not hitting the correct notes, another is plucking slow notes when the tempo is much faster.

JC: Since yours and LWJ’s unhappy separation...

My dumbass: do you mean breakup? *eyebrow waggle*

You will pry my “JC knows his brother is pinning after LWJ, he probably doesn’t want to know anything else” hc out of my cold dead hands thankyouverymuch.

WWX: *spouts a bunch of misdirection to avoid giving JC a straight answer*

JC: Bull-fucking-shit.

Should I count how many times WWX PTSDs all over the place or would you like me to leave your hearts intact? That’s two so far.

Ok ok, I feel that, if someone with a bit less trauma and a bit of insight (NHS maybe?) had seen the bit where ChenQing fucking hurts Shijie thing would’ve gone differently. I mean, yes, LWJ keeps warning WWX that this shit is gonna fuck him up, but as I said in my previous commentary LWJ also has the communication skills of a hermit crab so that wouldn’t work, and JC would be too wound up and WWX too busy trying to conceal his lack of golden core for that conversation to go anywhere. But if someone who WWX knows is a good egg (I’m not gonna say trusts bc paranoia) had sat him down and told him “your new instrument that you use for your new form of cultivation just hurt the person you love most please be careful when you use it.” I think it would’ve worked wonders towards his health overall.

I know Shijie says it’s like Zidian, but she’s not working with the fact that this thing is made for and by the Dark Side of the Force and I’m sorry but I can’t help but see ChenQing as a bit of a horrocrux almost. Or like, if you like me think the Burial Mounds is an Entity, something that’s a bit more sentient that it lets on.

Speaking of reputations and NHS being a good egg, I have oh-so-many ideas (I won’t say plot bunnies because I can’t write for shit) in which NHS for Reasons (time-travel? Letter from the future? His massive brain?) realises just how much damage WWX is doing to his public image. And he might be a sheltered dandy, but he saw what being the son of a sex worker did to Meng Yao despite how hard he worked (I’m assuming he doesn’t know about the whole betrayal business). This is way fucking worse, like hell is he going to let one of his best friends paint a target on his back. So he pulls back his sleeves, engages his slytherin brain and proceeds to lay down a plan to throughly destroy WWX’s reputation as a powerful genius.

I’m guessing LWJ and JC protest, and maybe WWX, and NHS just hits them with “do you want him respected or alive?” And they shut tf up. He glues himself to WWX, and brings up as many instances in which their behaviour can be compared as he can (we got drunk and punished at cloud recesses, we slept in class, we skipped to go fishing, I don’t carry my sword either). And, because assholes be assholes, people like Sect Leader Yao or Clown Cousin are quick to start spouting their own derogatory bullshit and thus WWX the untamed powerful prodigy dies a fiery death. Now he’s just a mouthy kid with a quick mind that “does tricks instead of battle” (I’ll never get bored of using that Thor quote). I also like to think that people who personally know WWX and are not pieces of shit go give NHS a tongue lashing for messing with what they thought was his friend, NHS takes that as a test of good eggness and bring them into the plan. Soon the whole Cloud Recesses class is swearing up, down, left, right and centre that all the shit WWX has ever successfully pulled is just an insane amount of luck and quick thinking.

I don’t know how would they work him into the battlefield (disguise? Mask?) to unleash his demonic cultivation but that’s Plot and I don’t do that.

Also, because I’m a terrible human being I want to say that people assume LWJ is on “pretty but useless” WWX like white on rice because *insert derogatory comment about being good in bed and sexual favours*. Because y’all know the assholes here are Like That. And WWX is horrified because holy fucking shit he’s gonna drag LWJ’s reputation down, he can’t have people thinking HGJ is ok with having him as a concubine pretty much. But before he can act LWJ politely all but confirms that yeah, he’s tapping that, y’all wish you were but he doesn’t share and none of y’all are good enough for his Wei Ying anyway. CUE FAKE/PRETEND RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE I AM INDEED TRASH FOR THAT TROPE.

Muahahahaha y’all thought I was gonna devolve into my personal hcs and not include my fave trope? Shouldn’t y’all know me better by now?

(Btw I like this bit ^ so I might polish it a little and post it separately as well, just a warning if you find yourself reading an eerily similar post by me)

WuJi is playing and LWJ is pining so much. Also, if LWJ did not just realise that, just like Yu the Great, WWX had no other option but tame resentful energy I’ll eat my blanket.

I refuse to believe Jiang Yanli didn’t become the unofficial war camp therapist/sounding board/only sane person/everyone’s mum/I just need a hug and a corner to cry in peace. There are not enough fics about Shijie being her gentle BAMF self while in the camp and it’s a pity. My crops are dying y’all!

Also, I will fight anyone who scoffs at Shijie being the epitome of the “gentle woman who cooks and waits for the men to come back from war”. Look at her mum, do you think it is easy for a kid (she was a kid in the flashback when WWX ran away) to see that day in and day out, to have that as a “role model” and decide that she was not going to be like her mum? That she didn’t like what she saw in her so she was going to be kind and gentle? And do you think it is easy for a person barely in their twenties to deal with years of verbal and psychological abuse for again, being gentle and kind, and not grow a hard shell of bitterness to protect themselves? And to keep being gentle and kind while at war, with your parents dead and your siblings unraveling before your very eyes? Shijie is so fucking strong and I love her.

Hey look, the White Walkers!

“Resentful energy is just energy” ok, valid. But my dude, you’ve got black ghost smoke coming out of you and can hear people screaming in your head. I’m not saying it is evil, like someone’s uptight set in his ways arrogant uncle; but it sure as shit ain’t healthy.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH (that’s a Clown Cousin scream btw)

Ok ok, just one little thing: IF SOMEONE ELSE CALLS WWX WEI YING AS A SHOW OF DISRESPECT IMMA SCALP THEM.

...are those crows eating that man alive? Yikes on bikes.

(Assume my comment about YiBo’s Guqin playing also goes for Xiao Zhan and his flute. I can’t play the flute but the tempo doesn’t match his fingers)

I’m just gonna say it, I think 3zun (well, 2zun as of now) suspect shit went down badly for WWX, that’s two questions by both of them in a very soft conciliatory tone. They are genuinely interested/worried about the topic, and don’t seem to come off as chiding or judgemental. I mean WWX is a weirdo irreverent kid and they’re sect leaders, they outrank him so much it’s ridiculous. I’m also counting the fact that both their baby brothers like him towards them being so kind. But I also think WWX just triggers all their big brother instincts the second he walks in.

Oh there’s a thought, Shijie, Wen Qing, NMJ and LXC take a look at everyone’s shitty parents and just decide to adopt everyone.

What happened at Yiling was a traumatised teenager (is WWX even 20?) PTSDing all over the place with the Dark Side of the Force whispering in his ear and an all powerful trinket at his disposal. Not saying I approve of all the torture and murder but he clearly isn’t revelling in them.

That is some outstanding bit of big-brothering on LXC’s side and I love it. Also, my dumbass just realised LWJ probably wasn’t quoting WWX when he was being punished (what is white what is black?) I think he was quoting his big brother. Which is magnitudes deep too, but in a different direction and I might love that scene even more.

Ok fuck it, I’m gonna tangent. So I had a terrible boyfriend when I was 15-18. He alienated me from my friends, sunk my self-esteem to the molten core of the earth, tried to convince me my parents were abusive and encouraged (aka threatened manipulated and cajoled) the slow tanking of my high school marks. I have A Problem when I see media where someone latches onto their significant other and everything they are shifts towards that person. Now, love, true genuine love, is powerful, and I believe it can be the catalyst for shifting your world-view for the better. I don’t have a problem with that. I don’t have a problem with people sticking with their romantic partner if it is clear their previous “family” is so much shit. I don’t have a problem with LWJ coming out of his shell and defying corrupt precepts because his love for WWX made them see they were wrong, or getting sassy and unrepentant during his punishment (I have a problem with the punishment bc that’s abuse but...). But I do side-eye WangXian being the only thing in their orbit. People need people, and WangXian have other good people around them. So I kind of love that yes, WWX showed him the system was corrupt, but it is the words of his brother he is sticking by to the defy said system.

Let’s go back to our scheduled slew of held pinning glances shall we?

LXC after That awkward run-in: WangJi I wasn’t gone that long, what the fuck did you two oblivious pining idiots do?

(LXC has “bitching” tea sessions with Shijie and you can’t convince me otherwise)

LWJ: *is being dramatic and not knocking on WWX’s door*

Me: oh my god you fucking idiot

Shijie: *walks in*

Me: oh thank god someone with a braincell.

Ah yes, there we go triggering WWX’s paranoia again. Why would he get a break.

OH MY GOD YOU PAIR OF FUCKING IDIOTS. THATS IT, FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUT.

@ LWJ: bitch wtf was that? I know you’re shit at talking but have you thought about writing it down? Letters anyone? It worked for mr. Darcy.

(Yes LWJ is mr darcy and now I want an au where LWJ writes WWX letters and just pours everything in them, WWX finds them, any everything is sunshine and rainbows)

While this bullshit fight/misunderstanding is all on LWJ’s shoulders, I’m also going to scream at WWX. Because yes, he is in PTSD hell, but he trusted LWJ before, and yet he can’t get past his perceived notion of LWJ’s character (and his own inadequacies) to trust him again and ask for help. Plus, you know, he thinks he doesn’t deserve he’ll bc *waves hand at WWX’s trauma conga line*

These episodes can’t be good for my BP.

Thanks for reading!

[afternoonteawithme]

Lan Wangji’s Favorite Shade of Black

Fandom: MZDS / Pairing: WangXian / Rating: T / WC: 5206

(read it on AO3)

Music floated in the air as twilight fell across Cloud Recesses, escaping from the homes scattered across the mountain through doors left wide and open to the summer evening. Deep zither notes blended with lilting flute melodies, the soft traces of music mingling with the scent of gardenia as a gentle breeze rustled along the bushes lining the winding white stone paths.

The soft wind flowed onwards, the music it carried almost silent by the time it swirled into the courtyard of a small building set a little apart from the rest. Warm light poured out from inside, flashing against deep purple as it landed on the gentian dancing in the breeze.  

Inside, a man dressed all in white sat straight-backed at a low desk. Here the scent of flowers gave way to the sandalwood incense burning in the corner, and the only sounds were the faint whisper of his brush smoothly gliding across paper and the murmuring of the two boys sitting together on the other side of the room.

Very deliberately Lan Wangji ignored the boys, and their conversation.

He’d caught just enough to know they were discussing whether they should ask him about something Lan Qiren had refused to explain, but otherwise he left them to themselves. His reasoning for allowing Sizhui to invite Lan Jingyi into their home - during the time usually allocated for the members of the Gusu Lan Sect to be alone with only their closest family - was so that Sizhui would grow up knowing what it was to enjoy spending time with his friends, so he felt censuring the boys or monitoring them too closely would be counter-productive.

Those precious days he and his brother had spent with their mother, before her death, had been nothing but memories for most of his adolescence. When he had spent his evenings with the few members of his family that still lived and were not in seclusion his time had been occupied with following in his brother’s footsteps, trying to in some way ease the burdens Lan Xichen carried as the heir to the Gusu Lan Sect.

The other disciples, whether of his own sect or visiting Cloud Recesses to study under his uncle, had been of no interest to him. He’d spent his entire childhood studying, training, rigidly learning the rules of his sect in the belief that everything in life would fall neatly into place so long as he followed those rules, without fail.

He’d been wrong. That had been a bloody, pain filled lesson to learn, one that had given him scars he would carry forever.

Lan Wangji didn’t want that for A-Yuan.

Sizhui, at twelve, was changing quickly from the boy he’d been into a young man Lan Wangji could only be proud of. He was clever, bright, gentle, and strong, and since his studies and cultivation progress were fast enough to satisfy the requirements of even the strictest of Lan elders Lan Wangji was largely allowed to raise him as he pleased. So while he’d treasured the time he spent alone with Sizhui, he’d started to encourage him to invite his closest friend as well.

Lan Jingyi’s parents gratefully gave up their own solitary time - likely in the hope that some of Sizhui’s calm demeanor would rub off on their unrestrained son.

Lan Wangji never told them that he hoped for the opposite.

So, while the books on the table in front of the two boys stayed mostly unread, and Lan Jingyi laughed perhaps a little more loudly than was appropriate at something Sizhui whispered into his ear, Lan Wangji simply carried on writing and left them to it.

Still, he registered the moment when the whispering stopped, and he heard the two boys cross the room to stand beside his desk. He glanced up, seeing from the look on their faces that they’d likely decided to ask him whatever they’d been arguing over.

“Speak.”

“Hanguang Jun, could you tell us about the Yiling Patriarch?”

Sizhui’s question hit Lan Wangji with an abruptness that knocked the air out of his lungs. His shock must have shown on his face, as he stared up into Sizhui’s open, innocently curious eyes, because Sizhui’s expression rapidly changed from curiosity to concern.

Lan Jingyi started to speak, but stopped when Sizhui gripped his wrist.

“It’s alright, Hanguang Jun. Actually, Grandmaster didn’t want us to talk about him, so there’s no need for us to know any more.”

Dropping his gaze away, Lan Wangji saw his hand, still holding his brush, frozen in the air halfway to his inkstone. Deliberately, he made his arm move, forcing himself to breathe as he dipped the brush into ink.

“It’s fine. Sit.”

The boys exchanged glances, and then quickly moved to sit in front of the desk.

“Why did you ask?” Not truly knowing what he was writing, but finding it impossible to do nothing, Lan Wangji let his hand move across the paper in front of him.

“One of the outside disciples asked Grandmaster about him in class today. He got…a little upset.” Sizhui spoke cautiously, but Lan Wangji had enough personal experience to know exactly how furious Lan Qiren became at the slightest mention of Wei Wuxian.  

“I see.”

“He said that the Yiling Patriarch had followed a heretical path, threatening the entire cultivation world, and so the greater sects banded together to defeat him at great cost. He said that nothing else about him was worth discussing, so he wouldn’t speak of him anymore.”

“And then he told the disciple who asked about him to copy Virtue twice.” Lan Jingyi added.

Sizhui nodded, “Yes. And then, well, Jingyi…” He slid a sideways glance at his friend.  

“I said that if the path he followed was really all that bad I didn’t understand why we still use his compass and talismans to night hunt.” Lan Jingyi shuddered a little at the memory. “He, uh, got a lot more angry. His face went really red. There was spit on my table.”

“He told Jingyi to copy Virtue five times, and Conduct too.”

Lan Wangji was only surprised Lan Qiren had stopped there. Since he felt calmer now, he let himself look over at the table where the two had been sitting, still covered in closed books and blank sheets of paper.

“And is that what you were doing?”

A little embarrassed, Lan Jingyi tugged at his ear. “Sorry, Hanguang Jun. I’ll do it in the morning. It doesn’t take me long to get through, I’ve had to do it so many times.”

Lan Wangji studied him, and in a corner of his mind decided he’d come up with something new the next time he had to punish the junior disciples. Simply copying was clearly no longer enough.

“But Grandmaster did tell us a little more after that.” Sizhui continued. “He said that the Yiling Patriarch’s methods had blackened his own soul, turning him into a monster who would corrupt anyone who got too close to him. He said that he’d even left his mark on the Gusu Lan Sect, though he wouldn’t say how, or who.”

Lan Jingyi nodded. “He just said that now the Yiling Patriarch couldn’t corrupt anyone but himself any more than he already had, so he was glad he was dead.”

At that, Lan Wangji’s brief calm scattered. His hands formed into fists, tightening, and tightening more until he felt the silent snap of the wooden brush he’d forgotten he still held.

Gently, carefully, he laid it down on the desk.

“He really wouldn’t say more after that. But after class the outside disciples were talking.” Lan Jingyi said. “One of the Lanling Jin Sect disciples, especially. He told everyone that the Yiling Patriarch was a traitor who defected after the Sunshot Campaign, and that a bunch of cultivators died because of him when they tried to defend themselves from the- well, he called them the Wen-dogs and-”

Lan Wangji’s head snapped up. “Don’t allow others to refer to them in that way.”

“Oh no, we didn’t.” Lan Jingyi glanced at Sizhui, who flushed a little and ducked his head. “Sizhui told them not to. That was when all the rest of the Jin disciples got huffy and tried to make Sizhui apologize, because they said he’d insulted Lianfang Zun’s cousin, and when he wouldn’t they tried to start a fight, which is even more stupid because Sizhui-” Lan Jingyi’s words cut off abruptly when he turned his head again and caught the wide-eyed alarm on Sizhui’s face. “Um- well. Anyway, Sizhui told him not to do that anymore. And no one fought anyone, at all.”

Sizhui didn’t quite meet Lan Wangji’s eyes as he hurriedly spoke. “All the disciples had stories about him digging up someone’s ancestor, or cursing some clan for offending him. Sect Leader Yao’s son said his father always talks about how ungrateful he was, how he would have been nothing at all if it weren’t for the Yunmeng Jiang Sect taking him in, and then he killed them all except for Sect Leader Jiang. But only because he killed him first.”

“Yes.” Lan Jingyi nodded, “But he also said his father told him that the Yiling Patriarch steals bad children away in the night if they don’t listen to their parents, and he still believes him, so I don’t think we can trust anything he says.”  

“I suppose not. And a lot of the rest of the stories don’t really add up, like him going around and poisoning wells, or making food stores go rotten. If he really did half the things they said then he must have had a great deal of spare time on his hands.”

“I bet most of the rumors are made up.” Lan Jingyi snorted. “Like him stealing people’s wives.”

That caught Lan Wangji’s attention. “Stealing people’s wives?”

“Apparently some clan head’s wife was kidnapped by the Yiling Patriarch. But we think she ran off with him on her own and her husband was just too ashamed to tell everyone the truth.”

Considering, Lan Wangji angled his head. “Hm.”

“But…” Sizhui looked at Lan Wangji. “Even if most of the rumors about the things he did are made up, Grandmaster said that when the sects fought against him, especially at the end, a lot of people died. That part was true, wasn’t it?”

Lan Wangji studied Sizhui’s expression for a long second, before nodding.

“So he was an evil person?”

The question, said so simply, dug under Lan Wangji’s skin like a sharp, jagged blade. Not speaking, he dropped his gaze to the paper he’d been mindlessly writing on. To his utter shock he saw he’d drawn the characters for Wei Ying’s name.

Simply seeing that intimate name, so bold and black against the white of the paper, Lan Wangji felt his thoughts turn to smoke.  

He hadn’t planned to explain Wei Ying to Sizhui yet. He hadn’t known how. If he couldn’t make his brother or his uncle understand the faith he felt in him, despite everything he’d done, how could he explain it in a way a child would accept? Especially A-Yuan. Lan Wangji couldn’t bear the idea of A-Yuan hating Wei Ying. Or worse, of him being glad he was dead.

And yet now the child he had watched Wei Ying carry in his arms was asking him, in all innocence and trust, if the man who had saved him had been evil.

When Lan Wangji lifted his head to meet Sizhui’s eyes, he found them calm and direct, as they nearly always were. Lan Jingyi beside him had his mouth clamped shut, though he looked as though he was almost vibrating in place while he waited for Lan Wangji to answer Sizhui’s question.

Somehow, even the silence of the room seemed be holding its breath, waiting for him to speak. But Lan Wangji’s head was empty of coherent thought, so even when he opened his mouth he had no idea what would come out.

“He was very irritating.”

The two young faces watching him showed almost as much surprise as Lan Wangji felt, and yet the words continued to pour out of him.  

“He was loud, obnoxious, aggravating. Noisy. Completely shameless. Impossible to ignore. It was hard to focus on anything else, when he was beside you. He’d make you furious, and then he’d do something that made you feel as if he was the most remarkable person you’d ever met. And then he’d make you furious again.”

Lan Wangji dropped his eyes, studied the curving lines of black ink on the paper in front of him. “He was always laughing.”

“Laughing?” Sizhui asked, when Lan Wangji said nothing else.

“Mn. Even when the situation seemed terrible, he’d find something to laugh about.” Lan Wangji stared at the broken brush on his desk. There had been times Wei Ying hadn’t been able to laugh. He didn’t like remembering those times, since they held a great many of his own worst memories.

“He wasn’t a fool though, was he?” Lan Jingyi asked, leaning forward, unable to keep quiet any longer. “He couldn’t have done everything he did if he was.”

“He wasn’t. But he’d pretend to be one, if he needed to.”

Lan Jingyi frowned. “Why would he need to?”

“To protect himself, to protect others.” He ignored the blank looks on the boy’s faces. It was something he’d seen Wei Ying do again and again, but it was so alien to Lan Wangji’s own character that he knew he wouldn’t be able to explain it any more clearly. “Protecting others was…very important to Wei- to Wei Wuxian.”

“So that rumor about him defecting to the Qishan Wen Sect and defending it from the rest of the sects – that was true?”

Hesitating, Lan Wangji wondered how to explain. Especially to Sizhui, who would one day very much need to understand the truth behind that particular story.

“In a way, yes.”

“In a way?”

“The Qishan Wen Sect was destroyed in the Sunshot Campaign. After that, all that was left was the people.”

Sizhui suddenly frowned. “The people?”

“Oh, I think I know what you mean.” Lan Jingyi sat up straight, speaking eagerly as he turned to Sizhui. “Grandmaster told us that by the time Lianfang Zun killed Wen Ruohan, his sons and most of his generals were already dead, so there wasn’t really much fighting after that. The territory was divided between the other sects.” He looked up at Lan Wangji. “The people must have been taken in along with their lands, right?”

”No.” Sizhui spoke slowly, before Lan Wangji could say anything. “Remember, the disciple from Qinghe was talking about that today, after all the Jin disciples left? He said that some Lanling Jin clans actually used to be under the Qishan Wen Sect, which was why a few of them looked really uncomfortable when we were talking about the Yiling Patriarch defecting. He said that Sect Leader Nie had shown him records listing which of the clans bordering Qinghe had been brought in by Chifeng Zun because they’d already intermarried with Nie Sect clans before the Sunshot Campaign, but he told him some of the richer clans were taken in by the Lanling Jin Sect.”

“Then who did the Yiling Patriarch side with?”

“I think I- I might know what happened.” Sizhui started, and then shut his mouth.

Lan Wangji met his eyes again and saw, with both pride and a little regret, the understanding in them. “Go on.”

“Some clans would have been useful to the greater sects, especially the ones with more money, or with valuable cultivators.” As he spoke, Sizhui watched Lan Wangji’s face, reading his reactions. “Especially if they were powerful enough that their belongings couldn’t simply be seized. But not all of the clans under Qishan Wen would have had those resources. And not everyone would have belonged to a clan. The ones without, maybe – were those the people the Yiling Patriarch sided with?”

Lan Jingyi nodded. “It makes sense. I mean, if the other sects felt the Gusu Lan Sect had done something very wrong and attacked us tomorrow, what would happen to the ordinary people of Gusu? Or even retired cultivators, or former disciples who decided to go be farmers, or fishermen instead. They’d be in the way.”

Saying nothing, Lan Wangji watched the two young men as they, on their own, saw into the complexities of something that many of his own generation, and his uncle’s, still remained blind to.

Sizhui nodded. “I think the Yiling Patriarch must have had a strong sense of justice.”

Lan Jingyi made a face and elbowed Sizhui. “See? Told you those rumors were stupid. No one is that petty. And he sounds so much more interesting than all the other boring people Grandmaster goes on and on about all the time.” Abruptly, as if suddenly remembering who else was in the room, he shot Lan Wangji a slightly panicked look.

Sizhui spoke quickly, attracting Lan Wangji’s attention. “Was the Yiling Patriarch very weak, when he was younger? Was that why he chose to find other ways to gain power?”

Lan Wangji shook his head, slowly, as he let himself remember the past. “He ranked near the top whenever the clans competed. We fought a few times. He was a strong swordsman.”

“Better than you?” Lan Jingyi blurted out the question, his eyes wide.

“No.” Lan Wangji said immediately, and then paused for a moment before correcting himself. “I don’t know. At first we never fought to the end, so neither of us ever beat the other. And after the Sunshot Campaign he stopped carrying his sword.”

“If he was that good, why didn’t he use his sword anymore?”

It was a question Lan Wangji had asked over and over, and one Wei Ying had given him so many different answers to. He’d say he’d forgotten it. Or it had gotten in his way, so he’d set it down somewhere. He hadn’t felt like carrying it. It hadn’t matched his outfit. It was too easy to beat others and he’d gotten bored of everyone challenging him.

The more charitable people around them had said he was simply forgetful. More had called him out for being deliberately rude.

Lan Wangji had worried that he’d become too drunk on the power of the resentful spirits he’d learned to control to go back to using a simple sword, but even that answer had never fit any better than the ones Wei Ying had given him.  

So, for now, Lan Wangji could only shake his head. “I don’t know. He used his flute, Chenqing, and he used the other talismans and tools he invented.”

Lan Jingyi sat up straight. “Talismans? Like the ones we’re learning to use when we go night hunting?”

“Mn.”

“There were others, like those?”

“He made many. The ones you use…they deviate from the orthodox, but are considered necessary evils. Others go too far. I doubt you’ll ever see them. But…” Lan Wangji hesitated, before continuing. “Some were different.”

“Different?”

“Mn. When we were young. He was always coming up with new things.” Lan Wangji looked into the boy’s eager faces, and wondered if it was selfish of him to want to show them this other side of Wei Ying.

But this was Wei Ying, to him, in all his complexity.

Making up his mind, he reached into his sleeve and drew out a talisman, activating and releasing it in one smooth motion.

A shimmering cloud of golden light exploded into the room. Sizhui and Lan Jingyi shot to their feet, their faces full of wonder as glittering butterflies filled the air  

“In a fight, these distract, buy time to escape. They’re useful when there are people who can’t defend themselves close by.” Lan Wangji sat where he was, watching, remembering. He’d used this particular trick often, over the years. It had helped save him more than once.

A moment later, he realized that while Lan Jingyi was still staring up at the butterflies, awestruck, Sizhui had turned his head and was looking back at him instead.

“They’re very pretty.”

“Mn.” Lan Wangji nodded.

Sizhui smiled, softly, and his young eyes were full of understanding. “I think I have an idea of what kind of person the Yiling Patriarch was now.” He took Lan Jingyi’s arm to get his attention, and led him into a shallow bow. “Thank you for telling us. We’ll get back to work.”

 -

 Later, Lan Wangji sat alone.

He’d gone back to writing, with a new brush, while Sizhui had gotten Lan Jingyi through his copying. But Sizhui had left to bring Lan Jingyi home and the room had suddenly become far too quiet without the noise the two boys had been making to fill it.

Suddenly restless, Lan Wangji swept to his feet.

It was well past twilight and music was forbidden at night in Cloud Recesses, but that was one of the rules Lan Wangji had long since decided he couldn’t follow. Sitting in front of his guqin, he let his fingers start to play over the strings.

Music began to echo through the room. At first he kept to soothing, steadying songs, but when his mind refused to settle he began to pour the restlessness he felt, the turmoil beneath his rigid calm, out into the notes he played.

Bit by bit, he felt himself empty.

After a while, the music changed, becoming something close to peaceful, and Lan Wangji saw a movement in the doorway. He looked up, and found Sizhui standing just outside, watching him.

He placed his hands across the strings to quiet them.

“Did you bring Lan Jingyi home?”

Sizhui nodded, and then hesitated for a moment, before speaking. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

There was no denying it, even if Lan Wangji had thought there was a good reason he should. “It’s alright to be sad, sometimes.”

“Yes, I know. You taught me that.” Smiling softly, Sizhui walked into the room and dropped down lightly to sit beside Lan Wangji at the guqin table. “I’m still sorry for it.”

He said nothing else, and after a moment Lan Wangji began to play again. This time he played another song, one he’d made when Sizhui had been young and hadn’t wanted to go to sleep.

It was a long while before Sizhui spoke. “Hanguang Jun, there is one thing I don’t understand. Can I ask you another question?”

“Mn.”

“Why did you oppose him so strongly?”

Still playing, Lan Wangji let himself put his words together in his head before he spoke. “For a while, I wasn’t sure he was the same as he’d always been. I thought the power he used had changed him. Or would.”

“So you fought against him.”

“At first.” Lan Wangji nodded. “But not at the end. I realized the core of him had not changed, even though his methods were dangerous.” To others, and to Wei Ying himself.

Sizhui studied him. “But not evil.”

Lan Wangji’s fingers stopped playing, and he sat still, watching the strings continue to vibrate for a long moment.

“What is evil?”

Instantly, he wished he could take the words back. He lifted his head, his lips forming an apology, but Sizhui was already speaking.

“I guess there isn’t a simple answer to that, is there?” Drawing his legs up beneath him in a pose he only used when it was the two of them alone, Sizhui settled himself more comfortably. “You could look at someone’s actions, or the effects of their actions, but I don’t think that would give you an answer either. I mean, good people must do bad things sometimes, or the other way around.”

He wasn’t watching Lan Wangji, so he missed the startled shock on his face as he continued. “Like Jingyi. Last week he was playing around and tripped one of the older disciples. He broke his arm, so he can’t go night hunting for a few months and he’s going to be behind the rest of his class, and he can’t write so Grandmaster has him standing up and answering all his exam questions out loud, in front of everybody, and he’s doing really, really badly at it. But then there was that disciple who was expelled last month because he stole someone else’s food from home, and then he lied and tried to make it look like a maid took it. Jingyi maybe caused more lasting harm, but didn’t get expelled. He just got yelled at a lot, and has to run around helping the older disciple all day.”

Shrugging easily, Sizhui’s eyes were still on the night sky outside the open door as he continued. “I think evil would probably have to come from people’s intentions, and those are really hard to see. Until you know someone really well, anyway.” He turned his head to look up at Lan Wangji, and smiled. “I trust you. If you trusted him, then I will too, for now, until I see a good reason to change my mind. Does that work?”

“Mn. I think it works very well.” Lips curving, Lan Wangji reached out to adjust Sizhui’s perfectly straight forehead ribbon. “I think that’s enough questions now. It’s close to nine. Go, get ready for bed.”

Instantly, Sizhui’s too adult expression changed into something a great deal younger. “But I have more questions. Can’t I stay up?”

“More questions. Really?”

Sizhui giggled, a sound that had become rare enough as he grew older that it tugged at Lan Wangji’s heart every time he heard it. “No. But I can come up with some.”

“Go to sleep, Sizhui. I’ll see you in the morning.”

 -

 After Sizhui was gone, Lan Wangji stood in the open doorway of his home. He watched his mother’s purple gentian dance in the soft, warm breeze, and thought of Wei Ying.

A monster with a black soul? No. He didn’t believe that.

He’d had too long to remember every moment they’d known each other. He’d traced through all the times Wei Ying had thrown himself into danger for his sister, his brother, for random cultivators on the battlefields whose names he’d never even known. For Wen Ning. For A-Yuan.

The times he’d risked himself for Lan Wangji.

When Wei Ying had come back so changed after the burning of Lotus Pier and the endless months he’d been missing, Lan Wangji had felt torn apart, uncertain of everything. Wei Ying had started down a path that had left him alone against the rest of the world, and the rules Lan Wangji had governed his life by told him he had to stand on the side of the world.

He’d fractured himself apart with his own uncertainty, and by the time he’d put himself back together it had been too late. Wei Ying had been dead. If there was any way Lan Wangji could go back and tell his younger self to dive in, to stand firmly beside Wei Ying the way he’d so desperately wanted to back then, he’d go in an instant.

He knew that if he ever had the chance again, in another life, he’d throw every fragment of his soul in beside Wei Ying’s.

There was no more uncertainty left. He’d go against the universe itself if he had to.

Turning his face up to the sky, Lan Wangji took in a deep breath, and for the moment, since he was alone, let himself feel the depths of the sorrow and longing that lived inside his soul, always.

  Present.

There were tears on Lan Wangji’s face when he woke. Blinking into the darkness of his room, he heard again the rustling that must have woken him an instant before Wei Ying’s freezing body dove under the blankets and burrowed in beside him.

The nose pressing into the crook of his neck was as cold as ice. Lan Wangji stroked his hands down Wei Ying’s back, feeling the cold radiating off of him. “How did it go?”

“Freezing.” Wei Ying nestled in closer to Lan Wangji. “But the juniors did well.”

“Was it a ghost?”

“Uh huh.” Yawning, Wei Ying’s body started to relax against Lan Wangji’s. “You’ve got a good batch there. The ghost turned out to be the late wife of the man who asked us for help. She was haunting him because he’d opened up her grave to steal her jewelry, to give it to the woman he’s been trying to talk into marrying him. I was happy to leave him to her, once we figured out what was happing. Jingyi was too.” Wei Ying snorted, and then paused, considering. “Actually, maybe I’ve corrupted the rest of them too because I think they mostly all felt the same way. I sort of wished Jin Ling or Ouyang Zizhen were they, they’d probably have run the guy through before Sizhui talked us all out of it.”

He sighed, and pressed his face against the heat of Lan Wangji’s chest. “He pointed out the poor dead wife didn’t deserve to be stuck to the man for the rest of her existence, so we returned all her jewelry and helped her rest. I did enjoy putting the fear of me into the husband, though. He’ll leave her things alone now. And I suppose Sizhui had a point about it being the right thing to do.”

His hair tickled Lan Wangji’s nose as he shook his head. “Honestly, that boy almost always is right. It makes me mad at you, sometimes. How’d you get to raise such a smart kid?”

“He was smart when I got him.”

Wei Ying raised his head, and moonlight sparkled in his eyes as he grinned at Lan Wangji. The grin vanished in an instant the moment he saw Lan Wangji’s face.

“You were crying? What’s wrong?” Panicked, he pushed himself up until he could sweep his hands over Lan Wangji’s cheeks.

“It’s alright. Just a memory.”  

“A bad one?”

“No, not really.” Not anymore.

Wei Ying waited, and when Lan Wangji said nothing more, rolled his eyes. “Lan Zhan. Are you going to tell me about it, or not?”

Lan Wangji’s lips curved. “Not.”

Wei Ying huffed out a breath, but there was relief on his face as he saw Lan Wangji truly did not look unhappy. And then he blinked, and grinned as mischief grew in his eyes. He lifted one leg to drape it teasingly over Lan Wangji’s hips. “Maybe I can convince you to talk?”

In one quick move, Lan Wangji flipped their bodies, until he was looking down at Wei Ying beneath him.

“Fine, fine. Keep your secrets.” Laughing up at him, Wei Ying lifted his fingers to trace them over Lan Wangji’s face.

Lan Wangji pressed his cheek into the palm of Wei Ying’s hand, and felt a happy warmth grow in his chest, dispelling the very last echoes of remembered sadness. He smiled down at Wei Ying.

And decided that the color of Wei Ying’s eyes, as he laughed up at him in the dark, truly were his favorite shade of black.

[yiqiie]

i hv to say i disagree respectfully with the last ask saying the jiang siblings turned away from wwx! the way i see it, jc has always been showing how he cares abt wwx, he was the one to pick up pieces after wwx messes up, he lost his golden core to protect wwx, he went to burial moulds bc he wants to protect wwx, he didnt tell wwx he lost his core bc he was trying to protect wwx & make wwx feel guilty... & i agree w your reply, cause jc is a sect leader he cannot afford to do things 1/?

like wwx, he has too much to consider. i honestly cant see how jc has turned away from wwx. & jyl was always the most selfless & kind, she cared for her brothers so much, she only got w jzx after he became better, he was a jerk when hes young but he even agreed to let wwx come to see jl, he really did love jyl, he didnt even do anything that terrible. but the point is how could we say jyl turned away from wwx when she literally DIED FOR HIM? 2/3

anyway i am passionate abt jiang siblings they could hv been SO much more, i loved their dynamics & yunmeng shuangjie will forever hv a place in my heart, healthy relationships are maintained by all parties & none of them are faultless because they are human ! 3/3

i’ll chuck my answer under a keep reading! 

i agree with you 100% i think the yunmeng bros relationship is very complicated and there’s a lot of factors that actually play into it 

the thing is he does sorta turn away from wwx in the end though, the whole reason why lwj is so antagonistic towards jc is that he didn’t do more when he could’ve, showing his support for wwx as a sect leader and as a brother would have meant a lot more than the bare minimum lwj was able to do (he blames himself for it too but that’s another lwj character study to go into that will get way too long here) 

yes he does do a lot to protect wwx esp at the start when they’re ‘estranged’, he makes sure wwx gets to see his sister in her wedding clothes he does truly care about him because they’re brothers at the end of the day but he also lets the gossip and sect leader talk get to him and to me that’s his biggest character flaw 

and his incapability of talking about his emotions but that’s apparently common for everyone alskdjasd 

there’s a fine line to walk between not caring about what others say about him, yunmeng jiang and wwx and maintaining his reputation and respectability as a sect leader; he’s allowed to not let what others say behind their backs get to him and still be a sect leader, he didn’t have to have such violent reactions and let everything people say affect him so much but that’s literally just jc’s personality, he cares about wwx but at the same time he’s thinking ‘why did you have to go and do this, why are you making it so hard for me to try and help you’ and it quickly turns into pretty ugly thoughts 

when wwx comes back, his first reaction is ‘why didn’t you come home to lotus pier the minute you came back to life’ and he’s so majorly pissed off about it, it shows that deep down he does care about him and he misses his brother but tbf it’s been 16 years (or 13 years in mdzs) and he’s spent every waking moment searching for any sign of demonic cultivation and literally just torturing them + jin ling is a reminder every day that wwx is reason why his only nephew doesn’t have parents any more SO i can see why he is a little bit more emotionally inept than usual

i personally don’t think reconciliation is possible for them in the future; respectfully maintaining distance and not at each other’s throats, yes, but i don’t think they can ever be what they were before (doesn’t mean i don’t enjoy reading yunmeng bro reconciliation fics alskdj) they’ve both said too much and hurt each other beyond their breaking points and i just don’t think a relationship that’s broken down this much can ever really be repaired 

i honestly don’t know what my point was i’ve gone on such a tangent i’ve like lost track BUT IN CONCLUSION jc is a complicated angry grape and while i’m not his biggest fan (personal opinion) i can recognise that beneath all that there’s a little part of him that will always care about wwx and value his wellbeing even if he hates seeing wwx with lwj lmao 

QUICK NOTE ABOUT SHIJIE, in this household we stan shijie and all the women in the untamed who all deserved better but unfortunately mxtx hates women

[writing-frenzy]

Mobbing Around: CucumberPlane AU~

yup, here I am again, back with my AU’s~ This time for one of my favorite pairings of Scum Villain CucumberPlane (I just love this disaster duo)

Here is first thing first; Shen Yuan and Airplane are not Shen Qingqiu or Shang Qinghua respectively.

But the both do have relations to both in certain ways-

Shen Yuan was transmigrated in this world into the body of a dying Shen Yi, the first of the street kids in Yue Qi and Shen Jiu’s group. He was the one who taught Yue Qi all his survival tips and in the beginnings of Shen Jiu’s life was the one who would sing nightmares away and provide a hug when needed. It’s also thanks to Shen Yi that the two have more power in the arsenal, because of course you know the minute Shen Yuan knew this was a cultivation world, he tried and see everything that would work in cultivating (which was surprisingly a lot, thanks to how PIDW is set up, his mish-mash of styles were perfect.) It’s like this for a few years, these years on the streets hardening Shen Yi in a way, the world undeniably real to him in every pain he feels, the grief that hits him, and even in the little pleasures he finds day by day... But of course it doesn’t last... After all, the extra’s did mention that Yue Qi and Xiao Jiu were the last of their group for a reason. It happens when a group of slave traders come through town, making nice with the lord there, showing off their pretties and then getting out with their pay... but with so little stock left, they of course of to bulk it up before they leave.

And who would miss a few kids from the streets? (Shen Yi did what he could, buying time to make sure the others would at least get away, unknowing that he himself would be the price paid to buy those precious seconds)

Now for Airplane, who was born one Shang Huanmu (hopefully means Pleased Desire but if not i’m blaming PIDW’s naming sense) Who is one of the numerous half-brothers of this world’s future Shang Qinghua. Shang Huanmu was a child that should have died in the womb, but thanks to transmigration, he in the end lives! Airplane’s father can be thought of as the Jin Guangshan of Scum Villain, a power hungry womanizer who only thinks of himself and the pleasures in life, just this one is actually able to legally have more wives. Now, if Airplane had been born as Shang Qinghua, as one of the sons of the Legal First Wife, he wouldn’t have to concern himself with harem politics and treachery, especially after his mother ensured he could escape it permanently by giving him the chance to be a big renown sect’s disciple... But like I said, Shang Huanmu does not have that safety net. He and his mother are stuck deep in the poisonous words dipped in rouge and perfume, where one wrong word, where one misstep, where one simple look could get them flogged, booted out of the clan, or even death if they are not careful.

Airplane gets a very different second childhood (but with a mother, a parent who actually loves and supports him, despite all his eccentrics and quirks? It goes a long way for his shallow heart). (EDIT: found out Huanmu can also mean 360 degree cinema screen, which only makes me want to keep it even more.)

Now, can you guess how they meet? :3 The head of the Shang Household decides they need more sex slaves hmm, ehem, I mean servants, of course, look, there are even a few boys here even! (not to say just how many woman there are) Shen Yi Just happens to be one of these poor souls stuck here. For a while, he just gets shuffled around for a time, no set place yet as he is still new and they’re not sure what to do with him yet.

Until one day, Shen Yi gains the favor of one of the many wives, her son one day seeming to favor him, so thus making him their personal servant.

(I’m thinking Airplane hears Shen Yuan singing a fan song under his breath, joins in with him, and suddenly both are like ‘I’m not alone’)

Now that that is set up, here are a few other things to note-

Mama Shang is a certified bad ass who loves her babies (yes, Shen Yuan is her baby now) and will fuck up anyone who thinks of hurting them (how else do you think they’ve survived for so long? and give me more awesome woman in SV!!)

In public, Shen Yi is the dutiful, grateful servant while Shang Huanmu is the careless weird master (in private they are just disaster best friends, with Shen Yuan being the huffy commanding one.)

Both boys learn degrees of her badassery, Shang Huanmu going more mental manipulative route with plenty of tricks and traps, while Shen Yi takes the fighting approach with the mental strategist route. This also gives the public a more Master-Bodyguard servant relationship to view...

Shen Yuan and Airplane find out in mid-early of their friendship who they were in a past life, but seeing as neither know they are in PIDW, Shen Yuan just bitches at him occasionally about it, even teasing him as well. 

The reason why they don’t know is because they are much more focused on surviving their environment around them, the sects that are mentioned are the ones either a) close by to the Shang Family or b) something more ‘fitting’ for their stations in life. (besides, a lot of stories have similar names for clans, I know about two that have a Jiang clan. not to mention Jin clan and others)

So yeah, Cucumber-bro and Airplane-bro grow up close, bitch and complaining, and crying to each other (laughing and smiling and clinging tight in the night, worried an assassin would be right there to take one of them away.) 

Both men are mentally older, wearier, and jaded here, both seek comfort in the other, both trust each other greatly... but both are still as dense as rocks when it comes to the realization that they have been in love with each other for years now.

(Shen Yuan has no idea why he wants to vomit everytime he hears about possible marriage matches for Airplane; probably just the thought of someone actually marrying him that gets him, even if he isn’t that bad to look at...)

(Airplane smiles like normal, but his eyes are like they were made of ice the moment someone offers to buy/take Shen Yi off his hands; no way is someone going to take his bro from him, even as the thought of separating from Shen Yuan fills his soul with a chilling fear. Probably just the thought of what could happen to his friend getting to him, what with how pretty the other is...)

If there is a system in this world, I want it to be as ridiculous as possible; Like, the Good Deed System, where you have to perform good deeds from simple ones to world saving quests, or even a Side Quest System, a system that makes sure that those little details actually get met. Maybe even a Karma System, where what comes around goes around and all that (basically, I want these two boys to be in the dark about where they actually are for as long as possible :D But Systems are so much fun to mess with~)

Now, this AU can actually Branch out:

In number one, Mama Shang sees an opportunity for her boys, since the first wife is sending one of her sons to the prestigious Cang Qiong Moutain Sect, she joins in with a group of other wives to try and get their own children sent, which the Shang Head allows, because hey, if more of his blood get in, more face for his family! This is when both boys find out that they are in PIDW, which makes Shen Yi glare at one certain shrinking author, who pales at all the realizations. But this is their best chance at a new life, to become cultivators and escape their harsh family and all it’s tricks and traps. Both of them take the digging holes seriously (even as Shen Yuan bitches about it to Airplane all the while) because again, best shot they have. And to their relief, they even manage to get in!... at different peaks that is... (why yes, I noticed that certain Peaks don’t have Peak Lords :) shame they have no named Lords at all... :) oh, how could this ever be fixed?) 

In this number we have these two boys and their mother leave the family (how they do so is unclear for now), learning under a random, maybe renown cultivator and Mama Shang, who become rouge cultivators themselves, their own ideas helping to improve and create entirely new paths of cultivation. In this path, they will eventually find out what world they are eventually, but decide to just stay as rouges here, with adventure and mystery all around them, making allies and accidently derailing canon all along the way as they do so :3 (it would be such a sweet freedom for these two disasters to enjoy, and with Mama Shang with them to be badass as well.)

Now, this one kinda branches off from number 2 in an interesting way :D You see, both these disasters have a great charisma, just aimed in different ways that could get many different types of people. They also, have different moral systems, things that would get people all around them, while Shang Huanmu and Shen Yi really couldn’t care less or have different takes on, despite all the years they have lived in this world. They end up getting... a lot of followers, people who would love to either be a disciple, little brother/sister, even servant at times... Slowly, ever so sudden, there is a big group of rouge cultivators at night hunts, Airplane figuring out the best way to settle supplies and money, while Shen Yuan easily makes nice with all these people, or if needed threaten them harshly. Soon, the two find themselves in a situation of; the only reason we aren’t a sect is that we haven’t gotten a place to settle down/Emperor’s approval...

Yeah, as you can see, I really like this idea XD

[huanwanchens]

XiCheng Fic Recs

Fic recs featuring XiCheng with some side pairings. I decided to do this list so I can keep track. Basically, these fics are extra long coz the bitch in me doesn’t like to read short fics lol. All are complete works though. I hope this helps my fellow XiCheng shippers! I am a bitch for XiCheng and I am proud? LOL

Little Lotus by RennieOnIceCream (XiCheng mentions of WangXian)

Summary: If one asked Lan Xichen about having children a few years ago, he would’ve said the idea of a family was nice, but it was entirely impossible for him.

Having the leader of the Jiang Sect for a partner, he should’ve known -- impossibilities were always achievable.

Mpreg XiCheng fic that is light and fluffy! This is more like the journey of pregnancy featuring XiCheng.

Wish That You Were Here by Achromos (XiCheng, JingYi)

Summary: Ever since he was young, Jingyi knew that he was missing a parent. The thing that bothered him the most about this was that his a-die was clearly suffering and lonely. At first, he had to settle for stories of his fuqin - the First Jade of Lan, a beautiful and powerful cultivator. But then he was sent to study in the Cloud Recesses, where he met the other side of his family. He was determined to find out why his parents won't speak to each other; what happened fifteen years ago. How he can perhaps mend the rift between them.

A fic where Jingyi is XiCheng’s love child. So much angst and it hurts.

Broken Mirror by akanezora (XiCheng AU side WangXian)

Summary: When Jiang Cheng left Lan Xichen life, he brought a secret with him. Years later, Lan Xichen caught up with that secret. (Jingyi as Xicheng Lovechild)

A fic where Jingyi is XiCheng’s love child in Modern AU. This is just so cute with a little bit of angst on both sides also, WangXian is a side pair here.

Being An Uncle Is Anything But Easy by TheWildJoker (XiCheng)

Summary: Jiang Wanyin, Jiang Cheng, Sandu Shengshou, uncle of Jin Ling, brother of Jiang Yanli. He held many titles, and worked with many different hats, but the thing in his life that was missing most was someone to assist him in his struggle at raising a barely month old, orphaned child. Cue the entrance of the eldest jade of Lan, prim, proper, and loved by all. When first met with the worn out Jiang Cheng his inability to leave others alone while they're struggling most kicked in, and leads to a lot of confusion, bad decisions, and then finally a chance for the both of them to be healed from wounds of their past.

Aaah, I love this fic so much. Basically, it started when Jiang Cheng was landed with the responsibility of raising A-Ling because he just refused or rather, he just didn’t trust Jin Guangyao with the upbringing of Jin Ling. Also, some cute A-Yuan and A-Ling interaction for those who love ZhuiLing innocence.

Never Had I Ever by Kicchin (XiCheng side WangXian/NieYao)

Summary: Nie Mingjue is almost certain that Jin Guangyao has an ulterior motive for dating his best friend, Lan Xichen. However despite voicing his concerns, his best friend seems unconvinced and Lan Xichen continues to date the said man. Unable to give up just yet, Nie Mingjue tries a different tactic--convincing his best friend the man is not the right person for him by setting him up. Fortunately for him, Wei Wuxian's youngest brother is very much single and seems to be just the kind of person his best friend needs. Can Jiang Cheng truly change Lan Xichen's mind, or will Nie Mingjue's plan is a disaster from the beginning?

A Modern AU - University style fic wherein Jiang Cheng is a freshman and Xichen is just a dork who falls in love with unsuspecting Jiang Cheng lol. This is funny but it has that tooth-decaying element XD Also, drunk Xichen is always chaotic but can be so sweet.

The Beginner’s Guide to Moving On by messenger18 (XiCheng side WangXian)

Summary: Jiang Cheng is jaded, bitter and miserable. Lan Xichen isn't sure he can ever trust anyone again. They've always been at the periphery of each other's lives, perpetually visible but never touching, and it seems it's going to stay that way. Then Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui fall in love, and everything changes.

Thrown together as the only single men in a family full of couples, neither is exactly happy about their situation. But when two lonely people find each other, sometimes they can be a little less lonely together.

A slow burn fic that involves awkward meetings, building friendship, humor and fluff that you don’t have any choice but to read more lol. But I strongly recommend this one for XiCheng fans!

葬花/Zàng huā by CrystallizedPen (XiCheng Mpreg)

Summary: One day, Sect Leader Lan just disappeared, no one knew where he went, nor why he left, not even the people closest to him knew. He left behind his sword, his token, and his forehead ribbon. He left behind everything except the silver bell that was given to him by a person that he loved, and whom he thought would love him too. Their love was beautiful like a blooming flower. But, apparently he was wrong. He should have buried this love deep inside his heart, like burying a flower that was never meant to bloom.

Heavy angst XiCheng fic that expanded for 10 years of waiting coz of some intervention. I just love angsty elements in this and Xichen is well characterized in this fic! Strongly recommended!

Monotone by seredemia (WangXian and XiCheng)

Summary: Wei Wuxian died. Wei Wuxian died and he never came back, not after thirteen years, or a hundred, or a thousand. The year is 2019 and Lan Wangji is still here, having reached the highest point of cultivation that has gifted him with immortality. It's supposed to be a gift, an honour, yet to him it's nothing but a curse. Wei Wuxian is dead, and life is colourless. Lan Wangji ghosts through time, simply living each day in monotone.That is, until he meets a man who has the same face, same name, same smile as Wei Wuxian. Suddenly, there's colour and hope back in his life—but it's not long until he realises Wei Wuxian in this timeline has not escaped the sorrow that plagued his past self.Maybe history really does repeat itself after all.

THIS IS THE GREATEST. Immortal Xichen and Wangji in search of happiness. I certainly love the dynamics and interaction of XiCheng pair in here. Contains heavy angst, self-harm and hurt and you’d get a lot of emotional rollercoaster on this one! READ THIS GUYS, YOU WON’T REGRET IT! Unfortunately, the writer took down her work in A03 for personal reasons but she provided alternative links where you can read this. (Thank goodness for that.)

The Misadventures of Secretary Jiang by rollo (XiCheng mentions of WangXian)

Summary: When the competent Secretary Jiang gave his two weeks notice all of a sudden, CEO Lan XiChen is forced to switch up his long game.

Will Secretary Jiang ever notice that he’s not just the CEO’s Secretary?

This fic is hilarious as fuck. Full of humor and mishaps between XiCheng pair. Wanna see a different side of Xichen? Like the clingy, pouty ones - well this one is for you! I’ve just recently started the series called What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim and thank goodness, the author didn’t make Xichen as vain and narcissistic as the original character but all in all, if you want a light, honest to goodness fic, then I recommend this one for you!

I’ll Bind You To Me by yunkarin (XiCheng mentions of Married WangXian)

Summary: Jiang Cheng is the president of Yunmeng Cosmetics. Lan Xichen is the president of Gusu Pharmaceuticals. He and Lan Xichen have a complicated relationship, where they separate business and pleasure. How far are you willing to go to bind me to you?

A very sexy XiCheng fic with lots of sexy time. Insatiable Xichen is hot btw. If you want some kinks and smut filled read, well this one is for you!

The Form of Boneless Ice by TheWonderingHeart (XiCheng)

Summary: Mythical beasts have long ago been driven to extinction by the gentry — hunted for sport, but more importantly for their magical cores. Since then, there remains only one creature that has never been caught. The Jiang’s retreated a long time ago. Abandoning land altogether, they sought safety where the humans could not reach. It all comes to a head though, purely by chance. (Or is it by fate that a spontaneous decision allows for them to meet? If fate were a rock!) Jiang Cheng suddenly finds his whole life balanced on the head of a pin — on the flimsy promise of a human boy. In his opinion, things cannot possibly get worse!(But then they do when the Wens decide it’s finally time to search for the elusive merpeople, and suddenly nowhere is safe.)

Oh goodness, I love this one so much with innocent Jiang Cheng with the human world but still has a potty mouth lol. Mermaid AU wherein they met as children and continued their friendship until they turn into lovers. This is so sweet with angst, of course. Strongly-recommended!

My own fics (If you guys want lol shameless promotion)

Jin Ling’s Dating Guides for His Stupid Uncles (XiCheng/WangXian)

A work-in-progress wherein Jin Ling tries to matchmake his uncles to his best friend’s parents - the Lan brothers. However, danger is looming upon their family and they must solve it before it gets out of hand.

a way to his heart is through his stomach (XiCheng side WangXian)

A feisty cook joins the team by request. How far can he go without falling for the charm of the restaurant's assistant manager, Lan Xichen? And what’s this? They’re roommates too? Oh, fun.

Follow the journey of the gang as they go on with their lives as interns in the hospitality world for a year - the chaotic life of living

Another work-in-progress wherein the boys are in the hospitality industry.

I will add more works on this list as I go on reading. I better thank the quarantine that I can binge read yummy XiCheng fics. lol

[butterflydm]

The Untamed Rewatch (ep 6)

Previous Episode | Index | Next Episode

aka in which WWX as a friend comes with many benefits *winky-face*

Yeah, this is definitely the episode where WWX goes from thinking of LWJ as an uptight person to poke fun at and try to provoke and starts thinking of him as a person with deep emotions hidden under lock and key. This is also the episode when WWX decides he actually wants to be LWJ's friend and starts working towards that goal. He does still provoke LWJ after this, but that's more due to his natural personality rather than intentional poking to get a reaction.

We learn more about schooldays WWX here, as we see that he and Nie Huaisang have a simple knock code for afterhours hangouts. The three bros are hanging out drinking and eating peanuts. They're all fairly drunk, judging their behavior. Jiang Cheng and WWX needle each other about their potential marriage prospects. Jiang Cheng apparently has QUITE a laundry list of requirements for his future marriage partner. Maybe. Jiang Cheng. Babe. Maybe this is why you don't have one in the future. Maybe your standards aren't realistic. So, we've got: beautiful, tender, diligent, can run a household, good family, quiet, frugal, not too high a cultivation level. It does seem like Jiang Cheng wants someone who will run everything behind the scenes but never challenge him — possibly because his parents' marriage is so contentious? 

We don't see many healthy & happy marriages on-screen in the drama overall — Madame Yu and Jiang Fengmian argue in front of their children (among other issues), Jin Guangshan and Madame Jin don't need elaboration, the parents of Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji have a very messed up story even if you look at it as generously as possible, the Mo family don't seem terribly happy either tbh and also raised a bully and continued to cosset him into adulthood, Jin Guangyao and Qin Su, well…

Two of the happy marriages we see end in the early death of both spouses, who leave behind a small child who needs to be raised by others — WWX's parents, and Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan. The only real exception is MianMian and her husband, who do appear to be happy and are also still alive by the end of the series, but obviously that can't serve as an example to any of our characters in the flashback episodes. Am I missing any examples of good marriages?

All of which is to say… if Jiang Cheng does have issues with marriage and maybe even sets his standards so high because he's hesitant to get married at all, I can understand why.

Lan Wangji comes in and breaks up the… party, and WWX takes advantage of him turning his back to place a talisman on him that forces him to act under WWX's control, which is definitely not a good thing for WWX to do. WWX does seem surprised that it worked but this ties into one of the main things that the… eh, evil, I suppose, characters do, which is turn other people into puppets to act through. I do think WWX learns his lesson here with this talisman, not because he himself was punished over the event, but because it meant LWJ got punished when he didn't deserve it. WWX, for all his trickster tendencies, does have a strong sense of fair play.

But, imo, the main reason of this choice on the part of the drama is because they need WWX to see through some of LWJ's emotional walls and start to see him as a person rather than a rulebook now, in the flashback, because they want to make sure to establish a mutual bond in the past as well (which I feel is related to their attempts to sidle around censorship rules since they know they won't be able to do the kisses or the "I really wanted to sleep with you back then" type moments). 

It's also about the rule of unintended consequences — WWX wants LWJ to relax and stop being so fussy over the rules, and instead he gets something completely unexpected that throws him for a loop and makes him reconsider who LWJ is as a person. He learns about the importance of the forehead ribbon, and he sees LWJ's loneliness and sadness.

There are a couple of different ways I can take LWJ going "yeah, that's fine" to WWX telling him no woman is gonna want to marry him: first, that he's not attracted to women and he knows and accepts it or, second, that having seen what happened with his parents, the idea of staying single seems more attractive than the idea of being married. Going back up to 'not a lot of examples of happy marriages in CQL' (there might be more in the novel), again, and LWJ would know about even fewer. His only real example of marriage is a set of matched cages, his and hers.

The moment when WWX realizes that LWJ's mom is dead is beautifully-played, I think.

He realizes they have something in common and confides to LWJ. Now, since we know LWJ is a black-out drunk in present-day, he probably doesn't remember anything that happened after WWX had him take a drink (which is why he doesn't already know why WWX is afraid of dogs when they talk again about it in the present-day), but WWX doesn't know that when he tells LWJ about his parents and about living on the street. 

We do also get WWX talking about his bad memory here — he says that he thinks he should be able to remember his parents, but mostly he remembers is the trauma that happened afterwards. From what I've read of people's posts about the novel, WWX's bad memory is used differently there but, in the drama, it seems to be tied to trauma overwhelming other things. And we get the flashback to tiniest bb!WWX with his parents and I die. It's so cute. He confides in LWJ and essentially begins the process of adopting him as a friend.

So, the Lan Qiren & Lan Xichen scene makes me wonder, and this might be answered later but, Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue must already be friends at this point, yeah? They're both young sect leaders and Lan Xichen speaks highly of NMJ's integrity to Meng Yao. It's either implied or said flat-out, I think, that Nie Mingjue has sent Nie Huaisang to Gusu to study for multiple years, so obviously Nie Mingjue thinks highly of Lan sect's teachings as well. So, like, they had this established friendship going on that Jin Guangyao gets in the middle of and ultimately taints in a way by using Lan Xichen's teachings as the way he learns how to kill Nie Mingjue.

That's really sad!

Anyway, the bros (plus poor innocent LWJ) get busted for sneaking alcohol into the Cloud Recesses and other shenanigans and we learn that WWX's mom acted the way same when Lan Qiren knew her. They never talk about it on-screen during the time of the drama, but I like to think at some point, post-canon, WWX is able to weedle stories about his mom about Lan Qiren. Let me have my dreams! I'm not sure if Lan Xichen also met her at some point — he would have been pretty young since she died when WWX was a kidlet and he doesn't say anything about it, so probably not — or he's just amused because he thinks WWX is amusing.

Lan Xichen's face is so shocked when he learns Wangji (apparently) took part in WWX's secret drinking party. Like, he wanted WWX to be friends with his brother and maybe teach him to have fun, but this result was not expected! And since LWJ doesn't tell them what really happened and WWX gets cut off before he can explain, does LXC continue to think that WWX talked his brother into drinking with him or does he assume something more along the lines of what really happened?

So, I'm not sure if I need to say this or not but: I'm not a fan of violent punishments; I don't think they teach anything useful. But since the show doesn't really depict them as successful in that way, I don't necessarily have an issue with them being part of the narrative any more than I have issues with other violent choices by characters, if that makes sense? But just to make my own position on it clear, I guess! I don't think an authority figure hurting someone under their care is justified because that person broke their rules.

Anyway, Lan Xichen obviously doesn't hold WWX's apparent influence over LWJ's actions against him, because he points WWX in the direction of the cold springs, where he already knows his brother is chilling. 

We get the first scene between WWX and LWJ after WWX has decided they shall Now Be Friends. I've gotta say, this scene has the same energy as Darcy's first proposal to Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice: I'm about to insult you (/your family) and don't realize at all this might be off-putting when I ask for a deeper emotional bond between us. And, much like with Elizabeth, I don't blame LWJ for being… 'no'. Like, WWX literally just said "hey, I thought you were boring but have now decided to give you the honor of being my friend". He's basically trying to neg LWJ into a friendship, it's a terrible approach.

I think we also get our first Gay Panic moment from poor LWJ here as his annoying, arrogant, stubborn-as-hell crush looks like he might strip in front of him. And then talks about the pretty girls back home. Poor LWJ.

They get yoinked into the cave where Lan Yi is holding the Yin Metal. I'm guessing this is all added since the Yin Metal wasn't a plotline in the novel, but it's a fun time (I mean, not really for the boys; they're pretty cold and wet). The show uses it as an excuse to put in some things they probably couldn't have otherwise sneaked in like WWX and LWJ getting tied together with the sacred forehead ribbon, plus it's also used to jumpstart the extra flashback stuff related to the drama-only Yin Metal plot. It's used to give us exposition in a way that's interesting for both us and the characters, plus there are bunnies.

Oh, they mention here that playing Spirit Inquiry is passed down through the family, and I remember I think that Lan Sizhui says that he's been learning it when we get to the future? That's so cute. If my memory is correct, hah.

Meeting Lan Yi and all the stuff with her is great. I understand (from what I've read of them) why some people have issues with the Yin Metal storyline in general. Obviously, as I was watching it without knowing it was drama-only, it did really work for me and it still does so far. WWX is less of an absolute genius, as he doesn't invent the discipline of demonic cultivation, but he does end up being the only person who is able to practice it large-scale without getting eaten up by it (... on his second try, but still). 

Instead, what the drama does is set up several cautionary tales/parallels for WWX. The sects joining forces to destroy the current master of demonic cultivation becomes a reoccuring theme — first with Xue Chonghai in the distant past, then Wen Rouhan in the early/middle flashback sequence, then Wei Wuxian at the end of the flashback sequence. 

Lan Yi was, apparently, the only female head of Lan Sect, but she did invent the cool musical technique that gets passed down from generation to generation. Lan Yi is a very likable character. She's polite and helpful and she raises bunnies and she readily admits to her mistakes of the past. She also has been working hard to try to mitigate the damage caused by her big mistake. She's a good person, but not perfect.

We also see the contrast here between Lan Yi and Lan Qiren — WWX essentially makes the same kind of suggestion here that he does in Lan Qiren's classroom but where LQR got angry and indignant over the idea, Lan Yi is sympathetic because she'd wondered the same thing. And one main difference between them that Lan Yi brings up is that she felt like she needed the edge because of the sexism she had to face as a female sect leader.

The first of our WWX-LWJ relationship parallels pops up here too — Lan Yi's one true friend was Baoshan. Lan Yi was young and aggressive, needed an edge, wouldn't listen to other people telling her that resentful energy was too much to handle, thought she could handle it all on her own. Baoshan was worried that the resentful energy would end up controlling and damaging her instead. It's a fairly blatant parallel. I really like that LWJ's parallel is the teacher of WWX's mom and WWX's parallel is LWJ's ancestor. Much like the other parallels we will run across, the story of Lan Yi and Baoshan ends more sadly than WWX and LWJ will; it's a cautionary tale. But even their endings do echo what happens at the end of the flashbacks — after Baoshan fails to stop Lan Yi from using the Yin Metal, she goes into seclusion and separates herself from the world emotionally, while Lan Yi is wounded and unleashed something dangerous she can't control.

So.... Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji go missing together. For hours. When they get found (in the next episode), obviously Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen find out where they really were but… what exactly does everyone else think happened to them? When they were missing together. For hours. And come back soaking wet with LWJ's sacred forehead ribbon wrapped around their wrists and unharmed (...and shoeless). 

*gazes off into the distance*

*thinks about how all the disciples learn about the forehead ribbon in lessons*

*thinks about Jiang Cheng's reactions in the future when WWX ditches him for LWJ*

*gazes off into the distance again*

In the search scene, we get another moment when Jiang Yanli is Feeling Poorly. I swear, that girl is sick every time we turn around. I want to give her a warm blanket and have someone else feed her soup for a change. Ah, we get Jiang Cheng's first empty threat about breaking someone's legs here (chronologically-speaking). Honestly, Jin Ling is such a reckless kiddo. Despite having literally zero of WWX's genes, I feel like he gives Jiang Cheng WWX flashbacks all the time.

Speaking of Jin Ling, Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan get a classic romantic trope when she slips and he catches her in his arms (a romantic trope that WWX enjoys with LWJ many times in the future, bless). I've been wanting to keep an eye on him and his assumptions and his reactions to her. They do quite a bit of staring before they break away, and it does look like he's feeling something too. But then he immediately flees. It's a miracle he ever managed to marry her.

Next time: Lan Wangji falls in love; Wei Wuxian gets himself kicked out of the Cloud Recesses.

Previous Episode | Index | Next Episode

[tang-wei]

Ichinose Guren’s World Resurrection at 19 Volume 1 Chapter 1 translation~

Title: After the ruin

Translator: @tang-wei​

Raws: My own copy of the LN

The masterpost, in case you need it

Warnings: Gore

T/N: I’m so sorry this is so friggin late ;-; I hope the length makes up for it!!

"Shit, shit, what!?"

Guren cried out.

Underground in Shinjuku.

Deep deep underground, in a loud voice, he cried.

"Shit, shit, what’s with that!? Why aren’t they coming back to life!"

Opening one of the seven coffins, he looked inside and shouted.

Of the seven, there were miracles in six of them.

The dead have been resurrected.

Although the neck has been cut from the body, they were re-joined as if nothing had happened. With red veins, the heart pulses.

Friends. Family─ Goshi, Mito, Sayuri, Shigure and two men who he did not even know of are starting to be revived.

They were sleeping now.

As if they did not realise that they were dead until just a while ago, the four friends and two strangers slept.

"You didn’t come back to life! You should be alive!"

Screaming, as the body in the last coffin had not been revived, Guren pounded his friend’s chest.

"Revive!"

Hiiragi Shinya, his heart did not beat.

"Revive! Revive him! I beg of you!"

But his heart did not beat.

He did not start breathing.

* The wounds were covered. The fatal hole in his chest was filled. But yet, Shinya was not revived.  

"Shinya! Shinya!"

He called his name.

But, he would not wake up.

"Hey Shinya! Get up! Wake up!"

He shook his body.

Punched him in the chest.

He begged.

And,

"You should have been revived! It was promised!"

Guren cried out.

"Who! Who will be revived!? God!? The devil!? Or some other thing!? I touched the taboo! I admit it! Punish me! I will receive any punishment! So, so please revive Shinya!"

So, looking up at the ceiling, he wished to God.

But there was no reply.

There was no reply from God.

Nevertheless, elsewhere, came a voice.

In the huge underground laboratory.

A person drunk on seeing the comedic story of the sins that human beings have committed─

"Hm~ He should be alive again. Did something just fail here?"

He said as he came closer.

He had long silver hair, and was a terribly beautiful man.  

Red eyes.

Sharp teeth.

A vampire.

Who is also a progenitor.

One who was called Ferid Bathory approached him slowly.

He looked down at the dead Shinya. Looked at him, and laughed.

"Hm~ What a beautiful face of death. He can be left dead........"

"Shut up vampire!"

"How scary. But, ever since I was born, I have never been silent. As Papa and Mama have said. Ever since I came out of the womb, I had an incorrigible mouth. Even so, they were still my parents. What was it again. What were we talking about~ Anyways──"

Ferid smiled and said.

“I heard your orders, young kid.”

Then, he reached out towards Shinya.

Guren grabbed his arm.

“Don’t touch.”

“Why? He’s already dead.”

“He will be revived. That’s why I’m─”

“Did you touch the taboo?”

��..............”

So. That’s it. He performed an experiment that he should have never touched.

The experiment that the vampires were desperately trying to stop.

《Human resurrection》

That was a sin that was never allowed.

Who would be angered?

What is he being punished?

He did not know.

But, Mahiru said this.

After resurrection, the destruction would begin─

The world would be destroyed.

Those with demons, and children will survive. The population would be reduced to less than 10%.

Even if one risked all of that, the revived human being becomes an incomplete body which can only live for another 10 years.

“................”

And, he did not know if those words were true or not.

Underground here.

It is isolated from the world.

Therefore, the world outside may have ended already.

Or what Mahiru said was a lie, and perhaps nothing has happened.

If the resurrection goes well, there may not even be a punishment for it.

But he made this decision thinking that either outcome would be acceptable.

Even if there was punishment, he himself, his family, his friends, even for just 10 years, he wanted to spend one more time with them.

For that, just for a moment’s pleasure and attachment, Guren sold the world.

So,

“........Shinya, he needs to be revived here.”

He said.

If he couldn’t, then there was no point in touching the taboo.

Ferid laughed loudly.

“What arrogance. I like it.”

Guren ignored him and pounded on Shinya’s chest once again.

“Shinya, wake up.”

But he did not wake.

“I beg you please get up!”

He shouted.

But he did not wake.

Wake up from the dream, always, always, always, there is hope for another 10 years. But this nightmare will never end. It is getting worse.

Again, the vampire reached out his hand. Guren could not react.

Vampires move fast.

Abnormally fast.

In addition, this is a nobleman. Compared to ordinary vampires, Ferid’s strength was in a different dimension. And then, he roughly thrust his hand into Shinya’s chest.

Finally,

“You”

Guren tried to shout, but it was too late. There was a hole in his chest, and Ferid was holding Shinya’s heart. Putting a lot of strength, as if he were grasping an air pump. Roughly, he squeezed the heart.

He killed him.

He thought.  

Shinya was destroyed.

He thought.

No, Shinya was already dead.

“Please stop!”

Guren shouted─

“Haha.”  

Shinya’s mouth moved.

Then, his chest rose, as he breathed in air.**

Huuu huuu

The sounds of breathing in.

The sounds of breathing out.

“Arise, Shinya.”

Ferid said.

“Ah ♪ Ah ♪ Ah ♪ Is this not okay?”

Holding it in his hands, gripping gently. As if to replace the heart, Ferid was causing the heart to beat.

“Oh ~ it started to move on its own ─ How amazing. I’m a genius surgeon.”

He pulled out his hand.

Blood began returning to the pale Shinya. The wound in his chest began closing up. Huuu-huuu, his thin breathing turned into the breaths of someone who was asleep.

He has been resurrected!

Shinya has been successfully resurrected!

However, he did not say this out loud.

He did not know if the resuscitation has been completed, so he didn’t want to accidentally touch him.

After all, he didn’t know what kind of mechanism allowed people to be revived.

He also did not know why this touches the taboo.

However, he was revived.

He did not know the reason, but Shinya, he began breathing again──

“......Wah”

Guren cried out.

"............ Hahaha", he had a face that was both laughing and crying at the same time.

Mahiru is dead.

He touched a taboo, but still, he was able to resurrect his friends.

And as soon as he understood it, his whole body suddenly felt very fatigued. He had not taken a good rest for days. The body could feel it.

Running away from pursuers from 『Mikado no Oni』, killing countless people to arrive here and finally making it to this place.

And because of that, many friends died.

Mahiru also died.

He had lost everything──

It’s normal for it to be over.

The story is over.

A bad ending.

Family and friends are both dead, and he is unable to get them back. The situation could not get any worse.

But, this story is way ahead of that.

It is already beyond that.

“…………”

On his own, what can one obtain?

But there is at least one thing he knows.

That he had broken his promise to Shinya. That he had broken his promise to all his friends.

Without making a mistake while being weak, no one will die here, and the taboo would not be touched.

Guren fell to the floor on his knees.

He was exhausted.

However, just as his whole body weakened.

“.......Hahaha”

He laughed drily.

And the vampire looked down at him intriguingly.

"Wow, that sounds fun."

Guren sank to the floor, his body bloodied, and he looked up at Ferid.

Ferid’s arms had no blood. He had put his hands in Shinya’s chest.

But he was not soiled by blood at all.

Shinya’s blood had already dried up.

Shinya died and was revived.

God does not allow the experiment.

The world does not allow the experiment.

And the vampires trying to protect the order of the world do not allow the experiment.

Guren looked up at Ferid and said.

"Did you come to kill me?"

Ferid, however, turned his back and walked to another coffin.

One of the seven coffins.

Goshi, Mito, Shigure, Sayuri, Shinya and an unknown man.

Ferid peered into the coffin and said.

“........It looks like something that tastes different from you. I prefer children’s blood.”

While saying this, he grabbed the man out of the coffin. Gently, he grasped the man’s neck and lifted him out.

Immediately, the man woke up.

“Uu, uwah, what the hell happened!”

The man saw Ferid,

“Who are you! Where am I!”

Then, Ferid replied happily.

“Do you remember what happened before the end?”

“The end? What are you talking about?”

"Last memory, the last memory, what was the last memory you had?"

"....... Last, last ...... No, my memory....”

And then he had a thinking face on. He appeared terribly confused. Of course. The man in the coffin was dead. Guren confirmed that his breathing and his heart completely stopped. He died and was revived. It was as confusing as possible.

But Guren looked at the man and narrowed his eyes.

The man was confused.

There was no memory of death, or perhaps the events leading up to his death were too shocking, so it was too much to remember──?

The man continued.

“......Oh, I was chosen.......if I became a subject in this experiment....all her medical expenses would be covered.”

Ferid nodded his head pleasantly.

“Well, what was she sick with?”

“...Ah”

“What disease?”

“Elijah’s disease.” (T/N: This is not a real disease)

“I’ve never heard about it.”

“If you don’t treat it, one can only live up to 30 years, but it's a special illness, so treatment is very expensive.”

“Wow... how old is she now?”

“22.”

“Ah. She’s above 13 years of age. She’s dead now.”

“No way...I took part in the experiment, they said they will pay for her treatment! Treat her right away!”

The man roared. He grabbed Ferid’s arm and shouted.

“You promised! You promised!”

He shouted.

But who promised that.

The 《Hyakuya Sect》?

『Mikado no Oni』?

Or was it another group?

It is possible that it could have been Mahiru.

This is Mahiru’s plan.

Mahiru’s plan to escape fate.

The man shouted.

“Then, then, she’s already dead!”

He was crying. The man was crying.

His life and fate were dramatic. Everyone has a fate. That fate is like drifting off the coast to sea. Even if one looks around, he cannot find land, and one’s tiny self is lost. And when a big wave that is created by a storm comes crashing down, it will consume all human beings.

At least, Guren knows about that kind of world, but hasn’t seen it yet.

“You promised! They promised to treat her!”  

The man shouted. Glenn stared at him. It felt like he was watching himself.

However, Ferid laughed with a frightening smile.

"No, she's not dead because of Elijah's disease. The cause of her death is something else."

The man looked at Ferid while crying, and said.

"What have you done to her!?"

"I did nothing, he was the one who did it."

And then he looked over.

While laughing Ferid looked over at Guren with red eyes glazed in interest.

Then the man pointed at him.

There was hatred in the eyes of the man. He understood that feeling painfully. There was someone to take revenge on. Everyone needed some meaning to live on for; to live in a world where there is only despair.

The man said.

"Really? Did you do it?"

Guren did not answer.

"............"

"Did you do it !?"

"............"

"Answer! You killed her!"

"............"

"Die."

"............"

"I will kill you."

"............"

“No matter what happens, I will definitely do it!”

Ferid, upon hearing that she was older than 13, had said that she was dead.

Mahiru also said such a thing.

That in this world, only children will survive. Or, someone with a demon, as ordinary people cannot survive.

If that is true and the world outside of this laboratory was already ruined, then that man’s feelings would be reasonable.

He would want to kill.

Guren thought that he ought to be killed.

For his ego, he destroyed all human destinies and destroyed the world──he thought that he should have been killed.

"............"

Ferid laughed,

"Alright alright, if you want kill, you can do it now, but I wonder if you have enough power. He is strong. For his ego, he managed to sell out the entire world. Let me see, I wonder if your ego can beat his ego.”

And the Ferid released his grip. The man fell to the floor and ran to Guren immediately.

“I will kill youuuuuuuu!!!!!”

He shouted while crying. He started beating him up. Guren did not resist it. He was honestly being beaten up. Cheeks. Chest. Stomach. The man put his thumb through his eyeball, but he also accepted it. He felt his eye collapse and the man’s finger in his eye.

However, he did not feel any pain at all.

The man is an ordinary human being.

But the 《Kiju》, the demon, had possessed him in his state of ruin.

“Die, die, die, die”

While the man screamed, he continued to hit Guren's face and he fell on the floor, but he could not die.

The regeneration of the 《Kiju》 is much faster than the power of the man, so his eyeball, his skin kept on regenerating again and again.

“What the hell are you! What the hell are youuuuu!”

Slowly, Guren grabbed one of the man’s arms.

“Let go!”

“......I’m sorry. I can’t be killed by you.”

“Don’t bullshit! Return her to me!”

"... I don’t know about her, but there is something I want to ask you."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, I want to kill you ... ...."

"Do you have no memory about your death?"

He said.

That information was important for Guren.

It was important whether Shinya, Goshi, Mito, Shigure and Sayuri have memories of when they died.

If there was......

"............"

It would be despair.

The responsibility of touching the taboo─ they had to carry it together.

No, they would not forgive him for doing such a thing. They promised differently. He should not have done such a thing.

But, if that memory does not exist ─

Guren said.

"You were dead, you died, do you remember that?"

Hearing this, the man’s eyes opened wide.

He had a frightened expression.

His face was contorted into fear.

"What are you talking about."

"Do you remember you death─"

But then, the man pressed his head.

“S─stop. Uwah, uwah, waaa.”

He cried out strangely.

“Lies. No. What. What did you do to me........”

Immediately, light began to shine from his eyes. Something inside began shining, and the whole body and soul looked as if it were being eroded.

The whole body glowed.

But it was a sinful light.

It looked like that. he do not know the reason. But in his mind, he understood. It was understood by something.

He did what he should not have done.

He touched something that he should never have touched.

It is a sin. A punishment. A taboo. It is desperation.

And so, that desperation brightly shines out of that man’s body and scrapes the insides.

“Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah”

The man’s voice became sharp as his body floated into the air.

Screaming.

Cursing.

Desperation.

Resentment.

And then, the man’s body shone brightly, and with a high-pitched sound, exploded and scattered.

“No.”

Looking at that, Guren said with a pained voice.

The man was gone.

There was nothing left of him.

As if he had never existed before, everything completely disappeared.

"............"

Guren narrowed his eyes.

The man─ once he was told that he had died before, he disappeared.

Seeing this, Ferid said,

“Oh.”

Then,

“That’s amazing. You managed to kill that man with your ego. As Mahiru-chan has said, you are being strongly being possessed by a demon. Or are you already one now?”

"............"

When Guren looked at Ferid, the vampire seemed to be enjoying himself.

“There were seven coffins, and in two, there were unknown bodies. Why? Because they were meant to be like manuals. They were intended to be used as experiments to ensure the successful resurrection of friends. And so they were used as such. The results have come out. Apparently, your friends would not remember being resurrected. They would disappear if they knew. And so they must never know. This is what the experiment has showed.”

But ignoring that, Guren stood up. The eye that was damaged by the man has already been completely restored. After all, he was no longer a human being.

No, it is because he is not a human being, that he was able to survive.

When one resurrects humans, Mahiru said that the punishment of god will fall.

It is said that virus would spread and everyone over the age of 13 would die.

However, Guren was already 16 years old. In other words, at that age, he should have been infected with the virus and died.

But, he is still alive ─ was it because he already had a demon in him?

Or, already, as Ferid said, became a perfect demon?

"............"

Guren turned his gaze towards the coffin in which his friends were held in.

Shinya, Goshi, Mito, Shigure, Sayuri, they were sleeping.

Looking at their sleeping faces, he said.

"...... These guys are smart. When they wake up here, they would realize that they have died."

"Hmmm, then what shall we do?"

The man woke up the moment he was taken out from the coffin. Shinya and the rest may wake up as soon as they are out.

Then,

"......I have to get some anesthesia, they still have to stay asleep for a while longer."

He looked around at his surroundings. This was a laboratory. The laboratory which was conducting a study on the taboo to resurrect humans. There should be anesthesia.

As soon as he began looking for it, he found it.

Anesthesia. Confession agents. Timed poisons. Everything, from drugs that he was familiar with to those that he had never heard of before.

He chose one of them and injected it to Goshi.

For a while, his friends would not wake up.

Still, he waited till the medicine worked properly. This medicine causes one to lost consciousness in a few minutes, but he waited for twenty minutes to make sure.

However, it was not enough. He thought that the effect of the resurrection experiment would cancel the effect of anesthesia at the moment the body was taken out from the coffin. Thinking about the possibility of them waking up, he grasped at Shinya’s neck with the syringe in his left hand.

His clothes were bloody.

Clothes that had the enemy's blood, Shinya’s own blood, and perhaps surely, Guren's blood as well.

Grasping the collar,

"Let's go, Shinya, don’t get up."

He said.

As normal, Shinya was sleeping. He seems to be comfortable and was sleeping soundly.

After watching for a while, he pulled out Shinya from the coffin.

"............"

"Shinya."

"............"

"Shinya, are you sleeping?"

"............"

"Are you asleep? Are you waking up?"

"............"

"Good."

Guren breathed a sigh of relief. He hoisted Shinya on his shoulder. He looked up. What should he do next? How can he make it so that Shinya would not know that he died and was revived?

Ah, that's right. First of all, it was necessary to see the outside world.

He did not understand anything yet.

As Mahiru said, the world has already been ruined.

Or, were they all just Mahiru’s twisted words?

He saw a hole in the center of the seven coffins, a sacrifice for resurrection.

A Japanese sword which fits perfectly in the hole.

It was a 《Kiju》 weapon.

Guren’s weapon that contained the demon 《Noya》.

But 《Noya》 said last time.

He was saying in a disturbed voice ─ that he has incorporated Mahiru.

Mahiru pushed 《Noya》 into her chest and disappeared.

He did not know whether she was dead or not.

Her steps are too fast, and he does not always know what he should do.

Guren looked at that sword.

Is it 《Noya》 or Mahiru?

However, he thought that he would need weapons if they were to go outside.

They were always being chased by enemies until they reached here. There may be enemies outside. Then, they would need a weapon.

 Or because of this resurrection, the world has already undergone drastic changes, and it may be a more dangerous place - if this were to happen, a weapon would be needed.

But Guren did not feel like pulling out his sword.

If he pulled it out, the resurrection may come to an end.

He  thought that Shinya, Goshi, Mito, Shigure and Sayuri might die again.

So, while holding Shinya, he said,

“.....Sorry. Wait a little while longer, everyone. I’m going to see the outside first.”

"............"

Of course no one answered. They were put to sleep by the anesthesia.

Guren nodded, satisfied, and began walking.

Then, there was a high pitched sound, like metal clashing against something.

Guren’s sword was dancing in the air. Then, that sword returned to the sheath that was hanging at Guren’s wasit.

"............"

He looked down at the sheath.

He looked down at the sword that returned to his waist.

Then, he listened.

"......《Noya》 ?"

"............"

There was no reply.

"Mahiru?"

"............"

There was still no reply.

It turned out that the sword was different from the previous one. 《Noya》 was still deeply intertwined with himself. Therefore, he knew that the sword that returned to his waist was something different.

However, it was not a situation to figure out what it is.

He had to ensure that Shinya and the others were safe.

He continued to walk.

Ferid appeared from behind.

"Are you going out?"

"Yeah."

"I'm excited to see what’s going on outside."

"You don’t know what happened?"

“Just rumours. Rumours about how it will be when the resurrection happens.”

“What kind of rumor is it.”

“It’s what you know.”

And that is ruin.

Only demons and children can survive in this world.

Guren walked out of the laboratory, which lead to long corridors.

Holding Shinya on his shoulder, he had to transfer several elevators to go out to the ground level.

Ferid also followed. This guy was having a lot of fun in this situation.

A road at the ground level.

Every human being who was travelling on the road was dead. But he did not know if they died of virus. While they were on their way to that ceremony place, they killed many enemies, and were able to advance, so these deaths may not be due to the virus.

Besides, all of them here were supposed to have the power of 《Kiju》.

Then, it is because of their own killing that these people have died here.

When they were on the third elevator, Ferid said.

"A massacre."

And Guren replied.

"So says the blood sucking vampire."

"We don’t kill that much, because we only take the amount of blood we need."

"Wow"

“What kind of reaction was that. Show some interest at least.”

Hearing this, Guren turned to look at Ferid.

"...... Why didn’t you kill me? Aren’t you supposed to stop people from touching the taboo?"

"Yeah, I guess so"

"Then why didn't you do it?"

"I don't like to work."

“Then if the world ended, you too........”

Then, Ferid interrupted, saying,

“If we both committed the same crime, are you going to feel more relaxed? Haha that’s good. Do you want to split the sin with me?”

"............"

“It’s fine. If you’d like, since this sin is so huge, we can make a rule that allows that, since it lightens your burden.”

“By the way, as I’ve told you just now, vampires really don’t kill that many humans. There is no such desire. Vampires don’t have that much desire. There’s only a desire for blood, and despair for a life that is too long.”

"............"

“So I don't kill much. Because there is no meaning in killing. Or we kill too much. So much so that I don’t see any meaning in it. The heart is broken. Well, which one am I? Is there any meaning for you? I’m broken, so even if we split the sin in two, the heart won’t be at peace. Because you aren’t broken. There is no guilt for the abnormal person. Well then, which are you?”  

Guren looked over at Ferid who was speaking noisily.

“Not interested.”

He said once more.

Because it is surely the latter.

Ferid had intelligent eyes. Eyes that were smiling and laughing, there was scarily impressive intelligence behind them, and there was madness, but there in the depths of madness, seemed to be intelligence.

After watching those happy eyes for a while, Guren said,

“Well, which one are you?”

“Which do you think?”

“I don’t know.”

“Hahaha ... But well, I don’t even know about myself, but mama said.”

“Mama?”

“Yes, the woman who gave birth to me. She was a beauty.”

“So what did your mama say about you?”

Ferid smiled,

“Mama said,”

And then raising his hands, as if he were putting on a play,

“Why did you do this? Why are you doing this? So terrible, so terrible.”

"............"

"Oh, but please, Ferid, do not kill me please ...please...~kyaaaa ..."

“......Not funny at all.”

“Yeah, for sure, mama didn’t find it funny when she died too.”

"............"

"Fufu, hahaha, hahahaha"

Ferid was having a lot of fun, and in the elevator, he was smiling.

Guren did not quite know whether the story was a joke or a real story.

It is that madness Guren could feel again.

Or intelligence.

And that feeling, he felt before.

Even when talking to Mahiru, he was attacked by the same feeling all the time.

A fear that was never ending.

Ah, no, with Mahiru, he felt as if there was a little more reasoning─

“I’d like to ask something.”

Said Guren. He was a little interested in Ferid. To see if this was a collaboration with Mahiru or not. If they had met, what kind of collaborations would these two abnormal people have?

Ferid, seeing this, said.

“What is it, Ichinose-kun?”

“Have you been in contact with Mahiru?”

“Yep. We had sex.”

“Tch”

“I’m joking.”

“What?”

“It’s the truth.”

“Huh!?”

“Just joking~”

It’s no good.

As expected, it’s impossible to have a conversation with him─

However, Ferid suddenly moved. Guren was caught by the neck. In the elevator, forcibly gripped, pushed against the wall by─

"Urgh"

He can only hear his voice.

Ferid's face came closer.

Red eyes.

The bright red pupil was dilated.

Ferid opened his mouth wide. There were sharp fangs there, and he spoke.

“Your blood seems to be more tasty than Mahiru-chan’s.”

"............"

Damn it─ he tried to open his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

He tried grabbing Ferid's hair with the hand that was not holding Shinya, but it was impossible.

The difference in power was akin to a kindergartener being suppressed by an adult, and it was despairing.

“......Gurk.”

Ferid seems to be enjoying himself.

“That's why I want to drink your blood, because I am strong, I can forcibly drink from you.”

"............"

“But then it's boring. So boring. It's boring unless you want me to drink your blood from the bottom of your heart.”

"............"

"Somehow, even though I am a vampire, there is such a desire."

"............"

Gururu gurururu guru, Ferid said as he tightened his hand around Guren’s throat.

Pale, smooth skin; an abnormally beautiful face. But he did not think it was beautiful. He was fearful. Fearful of the abnormally beautiful person that was near him.

A crazy vampire progenitor is here.

Ferid then said,

“Oh, let's do this then, let's suck the blood of your important friends first."

"!?"

“So let’s kill. Isn’t this amazing? Selling the world at a great price, to desperately revive a friend, and then suddenly, I will drink their blood and kill them.”

“Guh─”

Then, Guren put more power into his arm. In the arm that was not holding Shinya, he concentrated the curse.

The demon’s  power coursed through his whole body.

Power. Strength.

Kill him here. It would be bad unless he killed him.

He do not know whether it was 《Noya》 or Mahiru, but he have the power to kill him─

But, his face was hit strongly.

“Urgh.”

He was attacked at the stomach, rupturing his internal organs.

Guren spat out a lot of blood.

“Oops.”

Ferid took a step back to avoid the blood.

His body did not move. It does not move. His knees broke, and he collapsed to the floor.

Waving the hand he had used to hit Guren about, he said.

“Yeah, but you can’t die now. I know that. Even though I tortured you, you are still possessed by that demon."

"............"

“The internal organs have ruptured. But they will be restored. People are beautiful because they will die soon.”

As he said that, the vampire picked up Shinya. The Shinya who was still sleeping.

Damn it. Damn it. What should he do.

Ferid opened his mouth wide and brought his mouth close to Shinya’s neck.

"……Stop."

Finally, his voice came out. The restoration of internal organs had begun.

Then, Ferid stopped moving. Instead of looking at Shinya’s neck, cold red eyes looked over to Guren.

And almost gladly,

“......Eh?”

He said.

And Gurencanswered.

"……Please stop."

"... ... ... ...Eh? What? Please stop it what, Master?"

“.......By asking you to stop, will you stop?”

“I wonder. I'd like to see your originality. But, think about it. Who was the one who made Hiiragi Shinya-chan’s heart beat again? Although you may have persevered and worked hard for the resurrection resuscitation, ah, but you are indebted to the genius surgeon. I wonder where the fee is.”

“......I am incredibly thankful.”

“Ah, you’re only saying thank you with your mouth?”

Hearing this, Guren looked over at Shinya. The floor numbers were displayed over his head; they were steadily heading for the ground level. They would arrive at the ground level soon.

And so, they managed to survive and head out to the ground level.

So─

"... .... Haaa, I understand."

Guren said.

Then, he loosened the collar of the combat uniform and exposed his neck.

Then he felt the desire Ferid had for the first time.

Ferid audibly gulped.

"Suck my blood."

Guren said, and Ferid laughed.

"Is that the tone of voice you use to appeal?"

"You said you want to see originality."

“Haha, alright ore-sama.***”

The vampire lowered Shinya. And he approached and lifted Guren up slightly. He pushed back his hair a little to reveal his neck.

“Finally in the truest sense, you have saved Hiiragi Shinya-chan. Just a while ago, I was seriously ready to kill him.”

“Take my blood.”

“That was wonderful. Alright. Let’s play this game.”

Ferid opened his mouth. He thrust his fangs into Guren’s throat. 

Gyu, gyu rururu, gyururururu, his blood was sucked. 

As Guren’s blood was sucked, he felt some kind of pleasure.

He knew that already, from when Mahiru had sucked his blood. When his blood was sucked, and when he was steps away from death, his brain releases a certain kind of pleasure hormone.

In order to avoid drowning in that pleasure, Guren looked up at the ceiling of the elevator.

The floor number display.

The floor number showed,

7 levels underground.

6 levels underground.

5 levels underground.

Blood was being sucked. Blood was being sucked.

4 levels underground.

3 levels underground.

2 levels underground.

Gyu rururu, gyururururu

1 level underground.

Arriving at ground level.

As if it were visible from inside the elevator,

“Ah, we’ve arrived.”

Ferid said, removing his mouth from Guren’s neck.

“Oh, that was delicious, your blood tasted like sin. Let's see what has happened outside."

He threw Guren on the floor.

A lot of his blood has been sucked out, and he had no strenght.

The curse. He had to let the curse restore his blood.

"............"

The inside of his head was muddled. He could not see clearly.

However, he understood that the door of the elevator slowly opened.

Outside the elevator was supposed to be Shinjuku.

This is a laboratory located in the underground of Shinjuku.

If the virus had spread and all of the adults were dead, the situation of the outside world will be serious.

The door opened. Light shone into the elevator.

Ferid turned around, and looked out.

Then, to the vampire, Guren asked,

"... ... ... How is it outside?"

“Hm? It’s wonderful.”

"…………What does that mean?"

"Ah, there are enemies. You might be killed. Would you like me to protect you?"

“Enemies? What on earth...”

“You don’t have time to think about it. So. Beg me to defend you. Make a deal with me.”

“......What.”

“Shut up. Do it. Beg me. And I will guide you in this ruined world.”

As he said this, Ferid’s hands went to the sword at his waist.

Ruin.

The world has been ruined.

So that means that the virus has spread.

All the adults have died, and the world has changed.

Because of himself.

Because of his ego.

But there was a voice from outside the elevator.

All the adults were supposed to have died, but they heard a voice.

It was a woman's voice. A beautiful voice.

That voice said,

"Ferid Bathory, what on earth are you doing?"

“Hi Sairen. How are you?”

“Stop joking. This is the area you're responsible for. But I heard you arrived late and couldn’t stop the experiment. Despite that, why are you here?”

To that question, Ferid stepped out of the elevator while pulling out the sword at his waist.

“Oh, you misunderstood. I just arrived and I’m surprised...”

“Don’t come closer! Why are you drawing your sword?”

“It’s not what you think.”

“Besides, I am the 6th progenitor. You are not my opponent──”

“Ahahahahahahaha”

Ferid jumped out of the elevator.

“What is this. All members, attack! The 7th seat progenitor Ferid Bathory has rebelled...damn, my arm, you low life, dieeeeeeeee!”

Then, Guren heard the sounds of swords clashing many times.

Guren’s body still did not recover for a few minutes.

The internal organs were destroyed.

He was short of blood.

Ah, he was hungry too. The energy left in his body was not enough.

Still, he could not abandon his responsibility and die here.

So, while falling on the floor, he could see Shinya sleeping sideways.

Two of them in the elevator, both of them having fallen were unable to move,

"Ha, haha, hahahaha, what is this. What do you think, Shinya?"

He tried asking, but Shinya was still on the floor asleep, his face peaceful.

“How cheeky.”

"............"

"Something seems to be strange outside the elevator, everything is probably ruined, and everyone is dead."

"............"

"It's because of me."

"............"

"I’m bad, I’m ......."

"............"

“But it’s because I wanted to spend a little more time with you, with everyone. Isn’t it?”

"............"

"Is it wrong"

"............"

"But I've already done it. Please forgive me."

No. If the world outside is as ruined as Ferid says...

A massacre. The worst slaughter that has ever happened.

How can one repent for that sin.

The internal organs have been repaired to a level where he could move again.

“Ah, but I’m still short of blood.”

And he stood up.

Outside the sound of swords clashing has stopped. He understood that sign. The battle was over.

Guren said to Shinya after pushing the button to exit the elevator.

"Hey, I'm going to look outside. Wait a while for me."

And he went outside.

This elevator was different from the one they took when they came, it was for an emergency escape to the ground level.

So it was something that could go directly to the ground level. He did not know where he was, but there was a sidewalk near to the entrance of the subway.

Ferid was not there.

The other vampire was not there.

However, there was a quiet world.

And as far as he could see, there was a mountain of corpses that filled the quiet world.

Numerous people were lying dead around the entrance of the subway and the area surrounding it.

There was no way forward if he wanted to avoid the corpses.

All the dead bodies had died clutching their chests or necks, and their faces were frozen in a pained expression.

The number was countless.

“........Ha. Ha.”

Several cars have crashed and overturned. Fire erupted from the streets and the sound of explosion reverberated many times over and over again from somewhere, but he could not hear people's voices. He could not hear any screams.

Death.

A city of death.

Everyone was dead.

"...... Ha, ha, ha."

As far as one could see, destruction.

As far as one could see, despair.

His breathing got faster.

His heart beat faster.

It's ruin.

It was truly ruined.

Everyone died.

He killed them himself.

He stared at the mountains of dead bodies.

Perhaps all the humans around the world were dead.

No, Mahiru said,

"... ... Children ...... weren’t the children supposed to be alive?"

He looked around, but nobody was alive. But, he noticed that there was no dead bodies of children. But this may be because this place was the business district of Shinjuku, and there were no children in the first place.

"... ... Haa, ha, ha, ha."

He was feeling so much despair, he wanted to throw up. He clutched his chest. To survive in such a world, what should he do?

“Why did I survive. For what reason.....”

Saying this, he looked back. Shinya was sleeping on the floor of the elevator.

His family was alive and sleeping.

"............"

His eyes welled up. He found that tears were spilling.

One can not save anything while crying.

One can not save anyone while crying.

These tears, does God see them?

Crying while doing such a thing, what hypocrisy.

With tears in his eyes, he looked up at the sky.

A clear sky without clouds.

A beautiful night sky.

“......Ah damn it, what should I do.”

There was no answer.

Wiping his tears with a blood stained arm.

There is no reason to cry.

He made the decision.

Resurrection.

Touching the taboos.

And the world ended.

That was what he decided. With the information he had on hand, he decided to proceed.

It was nobody else’s fault. It was all his responsibility.

"............"

"............"

And if he were to mention it, there was a possibility that Shinya would disappear if he heard about it.

So it is not permissible to talk about it anymore.

It is not allowed to complain.

It is not allowed to talk to someone.

It is not allowed to make a troubled face.

He should look surprised at this new world with Shinya, Goshi, Mito, Shigure and Sayuri.

He had to despair and hate the person that made this happen.

Otherwise Shinya would notice that he was the one who did this. The one that started the resurrection.

So, he can never cry and feel sorry about this sin.

This was the last time.

“Uh, uwh, uwah.”

Here, the last moment where one could cry.

And so,

“Uwaaaaaaaaaaah.”

He cried. He hit the ground in despair and wept.

His voice echoed through the beautiful night sky.

And no one noticed it.

Because everyone died.

Because he killed everyone.

   ".................."

After weeping till his throat was sore, he stood up.

There was no tears anymore. However, he wiped his hands across his face several times, so as not to leave any tears behind.

He then breathed deeply.

And threw up.

So he could calm down.

He was ready to carry the sin.

He raised his face, returned to the elevator, lifted Shinya’s body, and said.

“Live, Shinya.”

!!CHAPTER 1 END!!

Translation notes:

* The wounds were covered. The fatal hole in his chest was filled.

This is the best way to translate this sentence without having to write a paragraph on it's meaning LOL. For anyone who's confused, what it means that the injuries that killed him have been healed. To stay truer to the original text, I chose to use the more literal (and awkward) translation.

** Then, his chest rose, as he breathed in air

Originally, the direct translation says his throat risen, but for english readers, it is more common to say that one's chest has risen, so I have chosen to use that expression in place.

*** ore-sama

Ore-sama is an overly self-confident and narcissistic way of saying “me” in Japanese, which idk how to best put in english 

T/N: I feel so bad for Guren,,,like he is carrying such a heavy weight upon his shoulders and yet he cannot talk to anyone in the fear that somehow his family might hear about their resurrection I cannot even. And all the soft gureshin moments just kill me ugh (((but you can’t kill a translator that was killed by her school work hahahahaaaa))) btw this isn’t super proof read, so there might be some weird formatting, for that I’m so sorry, I’ll edit it when I’ve gotten more sleep...

ANYWAYS massive shout out to Mhai and bloodyprincess on ko-fi for their most generous donations! I hope you have the most blessed life you can ever have, thank you so much for supporting me in this way ;-; You guys are just wayyy too nice to me, whether is it through coffee donations or just kind words and understanding when I’m behind schedule /ugly sobbing. I’ll stop blabbering here now. On to translating CH2 which is about Shuusaku and Narumi! 

<<Prologue 2 || My ko-fi || Chapter 2 Part 1 >>