#and also aren’t nearly as book accurate

[thebrideofreanimator]

“Christine should have chosen Erik” “Christine should pick Raoul”

CHRISTINE DOESNT NEED A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW

[yeoldenews]

A Guide to Historically Accurate Regency-Era Names

I recently received a message from a historical romance writer asking if I knew any good resources for finding historically accurate Regency-era names for their characters.

Not knowing any off the top of my head, I dug around online a bit and found there really isn’t much out there. The vast majority of search results were Buzzfeed-style listicles which range from accurate-adjacent to really, really, really bad.

I did find a few blog posts with fairly decent name lists, but noticed that even these have very little indication as to each name’s relative popularity as those statistical breakdowns really don't exist.

I began writing up a response with this information, but then I (being a research addict who was currently snowed in after a blizzard) thought hey - if there aren’t any good resources out there why not make one myself?

As I lacked any compiled data to work from, I had to do my own data wrangling on this project. Due to this fact, I limited the scope to what I thought would be the most useful for writers who focus on this era, namely - people of a marriageable age living in the wealthiest areas of London.

So with this in mind - I went through period records and compiled the names of 25,000 couples who were married in the City of Westminster (which includes Mayfair, St. James and Hyde Park) between 1804 to 1821.

So let’s see what all that data tells us…

To begin - I think it’s hard for us in the modern world with our wide and varied abundance of first names to conceive of just how POPULAR popular names of the past were.

If you were to take a modern sample of 25-year-old (born in 1998) American women, the most common name would be Emily with 1.35% of the total population. If you were to add the next four most popular names (Hannah, Samantha, Sarah and Ashley) these top five names would bring you to 5.5% of the total population. (source: Social Security Administration)

If you were to do the same survey in Regency London - the most common name would be Mary with 19.2% of the population. Add the next four most popular names (Elizabeth, Ann, Sarah and Jane) and with just 5 names you would have covered 62% of all women.

To hit 62% of the population in the modern survey it would take the top 400 names.

The top five Regency men’s names (John, William, Thomas, James and George) have nearly identical statistics as the women’s names.

I struggled for the better part of a week with how to present my findings, as a big list in alphabetical order really fails to get across the popularity factor and also isn’t the most tumblr-compatible format. And then my YouTube homepage recommended a random video of someone ranking all the books they’d read last year - and so I present…

The Regency Name Popularity Tier List

The Tiers

S+ - 10% of the population or greater. There is no modern equivalent to this level of popularity. 52% of the population had one of these 7 names.

S - 2-10%. There is still no modern equivalent to this level of popularity. Names in this percentage range in the past have included Mary and William in the 1880s and Jennifer in the late 1970s (topped out at 4%).

A - 1-2%. The top five modern names usually fall in this range. Kids with these names would probably include their last initial in class to avoid confusion. (1998 examples: Emily, Sarah, Ashley, Michael, Christopher, Brandon.)

B - .3-1%. Very common names. Would fall in the top 50 modern names. You would most likely know at least 1 person with these names. (1998 examples: Jessica, Megan, Allison, Justin, Ryan, Eric)

C - .17-.3%. Common names. Would fall in the modern top 100. You would probably know someone with these names, or at least know of them. (1998 examples: Chloe, Grace, Vanessa, Sean, Spencer, Seth)

D - .06-.17%. Less common names. In the modern top 250. You may not personally know someone with these names, but you’re aware of them. (1998 examples: Faith, Cassidy, Summer, Griffin, Dustin, Colby)

E - .02-.06%. Uncommon names. You’re aware these are names, but they are not common. Unusual enough they may be remarked upon. (1998 examples: Calista, Skye, Precious, Fabian, Justice, Lorenzo)

F - .01-.02%. Rare names. You may have heard of these names, but you probably don’t know anyone with one. Extremely unusual, and would likely be remarked upon. (1998 examples: Emerald, Lourdes, Serenity, Dario, Tavian, Adonis)

G - Very rare names. There are only a handful of people with these names in the entire country. You’ve never met anyone with this name.

H - Virtually non-existent. Names that theoretically could have existed in the Regency period (their original source pre-dates the early 19th century) but I found fewer than five (and often no) period examples of them being used in Regency England. (Example names taken from romance novels and online Regency name lists.)

Just to once again reinforce how POPULAR popular names were before we get to the tier lists - statistically, in a ballroom of 100 people in Regency London: 80 would have names from tiers S+/S. An additional 15 people would have names from tiers A/B and C. 4 of the remaining 5 would have names from D/E. Only one would have a name from below tier E.

Women's Names

S+ Mary, Elizabeth, Ann, Sarah      

S - Jane, Mary Ann+, Hannah, Susannah, Margaret, Catherine, Martha, Charlotte, Maria

A - Frances, Harriet, Sophia, Eleanor, Rebecca

B - Alice, Amelia, Bridget~, Caroline, Eliza, Esther, Isabella, Louisa, Lucy, Lydia, Phoebe, Rachel, Susan

C - Ellen, Fanny*, Grace, Henrietta, Hester, Jemima, Matilda, Priscilla

D - Abigail, Agnes, Amy, Augusta, Barbara, Betsy*, Betty*, Cecilia, Christiana, Clarissa, Deborah, Diana, Dinah, Dorothy, Emily, Emma, Georgiana, Helen, Janet^, Joanna, Johanna, Judith, Julia, Kezia, Kitty*, Letitia, Nancy*, Ruth, Winifred>

E - Arabella, Celia, Charity, Clara, Cordelia, Dorcas, Eve, Georgina, Honor, Honora, Jennet^, Jessie*^, Joan, Joyce, Juliana, Juliet, Lavinia, Leah, Margery, Marian, Marianne, Marie, Mercy, Miriam, Naomi, Patience, Penelope, Philadelphia, Phillis, Prudence, Rhoda, Rosanna, Rose, Rosetta, Rosina, Sabina, Selina, Sylvia, Theodosia, Theresa

F - (selected) Alicia, Bethia, Euphemia, Frederica, Helena, Leonora, Mariana, Millicent, Mirah, Olivia, Philippa, Rosamund, Sybella, Tabitha, Temperance, Theophila, Thomasin, Tryphena, Ursula, Virtue, Wilhelmina

G - (selected) Adelaide, Alethia, Angelina, Cassandra, Cherry, Constance, Delilah, Dorinda, Drusilla, Eva, Happy, Jessica, Josephine, Laura, Minerva, Octavia, Parthenia, Theodora, Violet, Zipporah

H - Alberta, Alexandra, Amber, Ashley, Calliope, Calpurnia, Chloe, Cressida, Cynthia, Daisy, Daphne, Elaine, Eloise, Estella, Lilian, Lilias, Francesca, Gabriella, Genevieve, Gwendoline, Hermione, Hyacinth, Inez, Iris, Kathleen, Madeline, Maude, Melody, Portia, Seabright, Seraphina, Sienna, Verity

Men's Names

S+ John, William, Thomas

S - James, George, Joseph, Richard, Robert, Charles, Henry, Edward, Samuel

A - Benjamin, (Mother’s/Grandmother’s maiden name used as first name)#

B - Alexander^, Andrew, Daniel, David>, Edmund, Francis, Frederick, Isaac, Matthew, Michael, Patrick~, Peter, Philip, Stephen, Timothy

C - Abraham, Anthony, Christopher, Hugh>, Jeremiah, Jonathan, Nathaniel, Walter

D - Adam, Arthur, Bartholomew, Cornelius, Dennis, Evan>, Jacob, Job, Josiah, Joshua, Lawrence, Lewis, Luke, Mark, Martin, Moses, Nicholas, Owen>, Paul, Ralph, Simon

E - Aaron, Alfred, Allen, Ambrose, Amos, Archibald, Augustin, Augustus, Barnard, Barney, Bernard, Bryan, Caleb, Christian, Clement, Colin, Duncan^, Ebenezer, Edwin, Emanuel, Felix, Gabriel, Gerard, Gilbert, Giles, Griffith, Harry*, Herbert, Humphrey, Israel, Jabez, Jesse, Joel, Jonas, Lancelot, Matthias, Maurice, Miles, Oliver, Rees, Reuben, Roger, Rowland, Solomon, Theophilus, Valentine, Zachariah

F - (selected) Abel, Barnabus, Benedict, Connor, Elijah, Ernest, Gideon, Godfrey, Gregory, Hector, Horace, Horatio, Isaiah, Jasper, Levi, Marmaduke, Noah, Percival, Shadrach, Vincent

G - (selected) Albion, Darius, Christmas, Cleophas, Enoch, Ethelbert, Gavin, Griffin, Hercules, Hugo, Innocent, Justin, Maximilian, Methuselah, Peregrine, Phineas, Roland, Sebastian, Sylvester, Theodore, Titus, Zephaniah

H - Albinus, Americus, Cassian, Dominic, Eric, Milo, Rollo, Trevor, Tristan, Waldo, Xavier

# Men were sometimes given a family surname (most often their mother's or grandmother's maiden name) as their first name - the most famous example of this being Fitzwilliam Darcy. If you were to combine all surname-based first names as a single 'name' this is where the practice would rank.

*Rank as a given name, not a nickname

+If you count Mary Ann as a separate name from Mary - Mary would remain in S+ even without the Mary Anns included

~Primarily used by people of Irish descent

^Primarily used by people of Scottish descent

>Primarily used by people of Welsh descent

I was going to continue on and write about why Regency-era first names were so uniform, discuss historically accurate surnames, nicknames, and include a little guide to finding 'unique' names that are still historically accurate - but this post is already very, very long, so that will have to wait for a later date.

If anyone has any questions/comments/clarifications in the meantime feel free to message me.

Methodology notes: All data is from marriage records covering six parishes in the City of Westminster between 1804 and 1821. The total sample size was 50,950 individuals.

I chose marriage records rather than births/baptisms as I wanted to focus on individuals who were adults during the Regency era rather than newborns. I think many people make the mistake when researching historical names by using baby name data for the year their story takes place rather than 20 to 30 years prior, and I wanted to avoid that. If you are writing a story that takes place in 1930 you don’t want to research the top names for 1930, you need to be looking at 1910 or earlier if you are naming adult characters.

I combined (for my own sanity) names that are pronounced identically but have minor spelling differences: i.e. the data for Catherine also includes Catharines and Katherines, Susannah includes Susannas, Phoebe includes Phebes, etc.

The compound 'Mother's/Grandmother's maiden name used as first name' designation is an educated guesstimate based on what I recognized as known surnames, as I do not hate myself enough to go through 25,000+ individuals and confirm their mother's maiden names. So if the tally includes any individuals who just happened to be named Fitzroy/Hastings/Townsend/etc. because their parents liked the sound of it and not due to any familial relations - my bad.

I did a small comparative survey of 5,000 individuals in several rural communities in Rutland and Staffordshire (chosen because they had the cleanest data I could find and I was lazy) to see if there were any significant differences between urban and rural naming practices and found the results to be very similar. The most noticeable difference I observed was that the S+ tier names were even MORE popular in rural areas than in London. In Rutland between 1810 and 1820 Elizabeths comprised 21.4% of all brides vs. 15.3% in the London survey. All other S+ names also saw increases of between 1% and 6%. I also observed that the rural communities I surveyed saw a small, but noticeable and fairly consistent, increase in the use of names with Biblical origins.

Sources of the records I used for my survey: 

Ancestry.com. England & Wales Marriages, 1538-1988 [database on-line].

Ancestry.com. Westminster, London, England, Church of England Marriages and Banns, 1754-1935 [database on-line].

[marlequinncos]

Cosplay Build Guide: Marko's Jacket from The Lost Boys (1987)

I am a lover of the horror genre; horror movies, books, games, you name it! And one of my favorite horror movies is the 1987 classic “The Lost Boys”, which focuses on a gang of motorcycle-riding vampires in the fictional California town of Santa Carla. I'm also a big fan of thrifting and modifying items for cosplay. I decided to combine those two things and make a garment that has lived rent-free in my head since I first saw the film: the colorful patchwork jacket worn by the vampire Marko.

I'm going to walk you through how I made Marko's jacket, breaking down the different parts that comprise the garment.

Marko’s outfit is made up of several components: a white cropped tank top, light wash denim jeans, leather chaps, custom painted leather moto boots, fingerless motorcycle gloves, a black skull earring, and of course, that iconic and extremely loud jacket. 

All four titular vampires have a signature jacket they wear in the movie, and Marko’s is by far the most elaborate and distinctive. It consists of three main parts: the base jacket, the Italian tapestries, and the patches. Because of the nature of this build, I had to do a ton of intensive research to determine the individual and highly specific parts of the jacket. My main references were photos from movie memorabilia auction sites whenever one of the original jackets went up for sale, since they photograph the jacket from all angles.

Part 1: The Base Jacket

Marko’s base jacket is, according to my research, a men’s black Levi’s denim jacket in a size 40, which I believe translates to a medium. Now, I’m a petite woman (5’3”, athletic but slim), so I knew that the exact jacket would be too big for my frame. Instead, I found a men’s black denim jacket in an extra small; it's very similar in style to the original, but a little better proportioned for me. It's still very much oversized though. The first things I did were remove the buttons and pockets, and I cut off the hem of the jacket and the sleeve cuffs. Then I tossed the jacket in the washing machine to fray the edges. 

Part 2: The Tapestries

The hardest part of the jacket by far was finding the tapestries, for two reasons. The first is that the tapestries were all from the 1960’s and 1970’s, meaning I had to scour vintage stores and websites to find the right ones. The second is the variation. Six jackets were made for each Lost Boy in the movie; this is standard for a film, since some jackets would be used for closeups (the”hero” jackets) while others were used for stunts, and a few even have intentional holes in them for harness rigging. Because of that and the thrifted nature of the jacket, the Marko jackets for the film all differ slightly in the placement of the tapestries and patches.

There are five tapestries in total. Three are velvet: the matador, the peacock, and the leopard with the messed up face. These are impossible to dupe via Spoonflower or Contrado (custom fabric printing websites) due to the fact that these three are essentially small rugs. The other two, chariot lady and cat lady, are dupable via Spoonflower or Contrado printing since they aren’t the same fabric as the others.

The two pin-up tapestries are nearly impossible to find, more so than the velvet ones. In my months of searching, I never found either pin-up tapestry, so I had them printed by Contrado, along with the collar trim.

If you go searching for the velvet tapestries, you'll notice that there are several different versions of each one, with slight changes in color and placement of things in the art. How accurate you want to be is up to you. My peacock and matador are accurate to the tapestries on one of the stunt jackets, whereas my leopard is the correct color but wrong direction. That's doesn't bother me much, personally, especially since the leopard is the hardest of the velvet tapestries to find by far.

Once the tapestries were acquired, I measured different sections based on the dimensions of the jacket, mapped it out using washi tape on the tapestries, and then cut them all out. There was a decent amount of math involved here, specifically regarding scaling the sections of tapestry down by a few inches since my jacket is smaller than the original. I then arranged them all onto the denim jacket and pinned them in place before hand sewing them (yes, you read that right; I hand sewed this whole thing) on in the correct overlap. I also added the rhinestones to the cat lady.

I recommend using embroidery needles and upholstery thread to attach the tapestries to the jacket, due to the thickness and the weight. I also sewed along the designs in the tapestries themselves to better hide the stitching within the image.

Part 3: The Patches

Marko’s jacket has a total of 26 different patches on it, most of which are motorcycle or punk themed. For these, I found a seller on Etsy who makes 24 of them, and I used Contrado to print the remaining two (the anarchy symbol and the large skull) on canvas and added the stitching. You could thrift and find the patches as well, but here's the thing: while some of these patches are pretty easy to find, others seem to be nonexistent, to the point that I wonder if some were made exclusively for the movie. That's why I went and purchased my patches instead of hunting them down. My personal favorite is the “Screw U” one. One fun fact about the patches is that the large winged skull on the back is a leftover from the movie “The Warriors”.

I once again hand sewed these all on as per the references from the movie. You might think that ironing the patches on is an easier method, but there's a few reasons why that won't work: 1) the patches in the movie are sewn on; if you zoom in, you can see the stitching 2) I'm not sure the patches would even adhere to the velvet and velour of the tapestries and 3) if you decide you don't like the placement of a patch that you sewed on, you can just seam rip the stitching and adjust it, which you can't really do as cleanly with an ironed-on patch.

Part 4: The Tassels

The tassels on the jacket’s shoulder are not tassels at all; they’re squid skirts (a type of fishing lure), which is something I never knew existed until I started researching for this build. For these, I found a fishing tackle website that had the closest match to the colors I needed, a blue-grey/orange and a yellow/green. Both squids also have glitter and little eyes painted on.

Part 5: Weathering and Finishing Touches

Lastly, I weathered the jacket to give it that lived-in look. For the dirt/dust on the patches, I used powder eyeshadow. I also picked at the edges of the tapestries to fray them a bit. And to make the patches less stiff, I just broke the jacket in by wearing it around my house. The great thing about this jacket is that the more I wear it and the more it weathers, the better it'll look.

FAQ

How heavy and warm is the jacket?

The jacket is made of denim and rugs, so its pretty warm and heavy. It honestly feels like wearing a weighted blanket, which is a nice bonus if you're anxiety made flesh like I am. It makes a lot of sense for the jacket to be on the heavier side, because if you’ve been to Northern California, you know how cold it can get on the coast, especially at night (not sure if vampires can feel cold, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

How long did it take you to make the jacket?

I don’t time my cosplay builds, but I can guess based on the amount of TV/movies/podcasts/playlists consumed as I was working on it. I'm also pretty fast when it comes to hand sewing. By my estimation, the jacket took me about 45-50 hours of work, and that’s not counting the time I spent searching for the tapestries.

Can you make me one?

Sorry friend, I don't take commissions. Even if I did, there's no guarantee I could find the exact tapestries again. I appreciate the interest though!

One of the most useful resources for making this jacket is the Replica Prop Forum! There's a ton of information there, as well as discussions and troubleshooting about the construction of the jacket.

I hope you enjoyed this walkthrough of Marko's jacket! This was a fun build and I'm really proud of the finished product. I'm going to make the rest of Marko's outfit + wig to complete the cosplay, so stay tuned for that!

If you have any other questions, feel free to plop them in my inbox! In addition to tumblr, you can also find my cosplay work on instagram and bluesky @/marlequinncos

[writing-n-memes]

A list of things I don’t like about the Percy Jackson show in no particular order because I’m a hater

- Sally talks back to Gabe. She’s supposed to be a silent rebel and book Sally would never jeopardize Percy’s safety because she’s angry with Gabe. Because I think the writers forgot, the WHOLE reason Gabe is there is because she is protecting Percy with his presence

- Annabeth is too stoic. Obviously, tv Annabeth has emotions and expresses them but it’s very limited in my opinion. Book Annabeth is emotional about everything. She is quick to anger, pride, sadness and to not show it because she’s ‘too smart for that’ is dumb. She’s 12 and emotions are normal

- Instead of Percy seeing the fates cut Luke’s string, it’s annabeth. Annabeth may be closer with Luke, but it should not be her to be aware of Luke’s fate. She’s too close to Luke to be analytical. Percy seeing it made him realize the prophecy is about Luke. Percy is the main character and should give Luke the knife. Also, Annabeth giving Luke the knife wouldn’t be nearly as meaningful because she’s always had faith he would turn around; even after he trapped her under the sky in titans curse. Percy trusted Luke to do the right thing at the exact right time

- Grover is a whole different character. The only example you need to know he’s not book Grover is tv Grover straight up lying/manipulating the god of war to his face. Book Grover is brave but not like that. He has too much respect and fear for the gods. Don’t get me wrong, I like tv Grover, he’s just not accurate to the book

- Misdirect of Clarisse being the lightning thief. What was even the point? Just seemed very random

-Fight scenes were lacking. I can’t entirely explain it, but I was bored for every one of them. Hate to bring the movies into this, but at least the movies had interesting fight scenes that had me on the edge of my seat

- Poseidon was basically a saint in the show, which is a big no no. I’m not saying he can’t be likeable, but Poseidon was NOT that nice. First of all, he wouldn’t go against Zeus like that. Not for Sally, and certainly not for Percy. He would do some minor rebelling, but he would not directly fight or disobey Zeus for either of them.

- Despite the last point, they showed too much of the Olympian’s bad sides. They absolutely would do all of this stuff in the show and more, but Percy shouldn’t be made aware of this yet. Percy knows the gods aren’t great in book 1, but he doesn’t quite know the extent until he finds out about the story of the oracle in book 5. This is why he’s more bitter in heroes of Olympus. He knows more about the god’s bad sides. If book 1 Percy knew/saw all the stuff about the tv show gods, then he probably would’ve led his own rebellion against the gods and Kronos.

- Gabe’s death? Come on. What happened to ‘If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself’ (don’t know if that’s the exact quote). Sally deserved to kill Gabe. Percy could’ve done it, but Sally made the choice for it to be her. Ignoring the fact that Gabe wasn’t abusive, just a general jerk so he didn’t deserve to die, but also, the death being an accident felt easy. Sally killed her husband and she had zero remorse for it. She used his dead statue body to sell and use the money to go back to college and follow her dream of writing a book, while also meeting the real love of her life, Paul Blofis

- Kind of made this point already, but I’d like to specifically point out Athena being too cruel. Not to say she isn’t cruel, because she is. However, the show made it clear too early on. Annabeth is the favorite child up until mark of Athena, that’s why she’s so distraught over her hat losing its invisibility power. Annabeth always had Athena’s respect up until that point. Athena wants to protect Annabeth from Percy in the original series. She would not just try and kill her. At least, not in book 1

- Changing Medusa’s story. I understand to a degree why they did it. There’s been a lot of talk the past few years on social media about what Medusa’s story means to them. They did show Medusa as a victim, but immediately disregarded it because she uses it as an excuse to… kill children for no reason. Might as well have kept the original story in at that point. Not to mention Poseidon sucks, but only in this story, and he’s a saint for the rest of the show. Feels like that makes it worse

- Deadline didn’t matter. They miss it, but it doesn’t matter for no reason. Every book has a deadline, including in every spinoff so what’s going to happen with future seasons? Is the timeline going to be ignored because it was fine the first time? Or are they going to backtrack and say, ‘Ok, THIS time limit matters. Ignore the fact there was an exception the first time’

- Luke is too tamed. Too apologetic. He’s supposed to be angry. So sure he is right that nothing will stand in his way. Not any friend or family could talk him down at this point. We’re not supposed to sympathize with him. Not yet. He is the main villain at this point and there should be no sign of redemption yet. May’s story (his mom) happened way too soon. It was told in the last book for a reason. So Luke could gain sympathy and make Percy question his side; he does question it but doesn’t “trust” Luke until he gives him the knife 100-200 pages later.

- Annabeth was there for Luke’s betrayal. She should not be there because Annabeth is supposed to be a Luke defender for the whole series basically. ‘Luke was wrong, but he can change’ basically. I don’t know how she’s supposed to defend him when she experiences his betrayal firsthand instead of just hearing he betrayed everything she believes in. This is important because it’s the main conflict between Percy and annabeth through the series; Annabeth’s loyalty to Luke. Also, little side note: This is an example of tv Annabeth being too stoic. Book Annabeth would do what she’d have to in this situation, but she’d be a crying mess. Which is fine! Having emotions is normal!

- Dialogue is stiff. I don’t know why it is, but some things just don’t flow. Even direct quotes from the books doesn’t feel right sometimes. Maybe it’s because they rushed filming and should’ve done more takes to get it right? I don’t know. I don’t doubt the actors talents so I’m not blaming them. Walker Scobell did great in the Adam’s Project and he was only 12 I believe! He didn’t have a single line that felt stiff in that movie but his lines along with the other mains seemed a little off at times.

- Kind of goes along with last point; some dialogue is accurate to the characters, but not in the context it’s used in the show. Here’s an example that someone else pointed out and I agree with them completely. Percy’s line about Thalia having a pine cone’s fate is so out of character. Would Percy say that to Thalia in Titan’s curse? Probably. But would book 1 Percy insult and dishonor Thalia’s death after finding out she sacrificed herself for her friends? Absolutely not. Percy thought her story was brave and tragic. Percy would say that line in other cases, but he would not say it under those circumstance.

- Kind of the opposite of previous points, but why is Hades so nice?? They made him into a silly guy and play it off for laughs. It’s supposed to be a serious scene. There’s humor everywhere else in the series so use that humor somewhere else. Hades is angry because Percy ‘stole’ his helm and hates him for the rest of the series. How are they going to make this guy lock Percy up in the last Olympian and fight him? This is the guy Nico is scared of, which is why it was brave he stood up to him. This is the guy who told his son that he wished he died instead of his sister. Just doesn’t seem right

- They figure everything out too fast. They figured out who Medusa and Procrustes is right away. This series is kind of like an introduction to Greek mythology to kids who don’t know anything about it. It’s about learning, but also building up the tension. Knowing something is wrong, but not knowing what. I don’t care that they were all told Greek myths growing up and that 2 of them have been training for years. Learning something in the classroom doesn’t mean they will automatically know what to do in a real life scenario. Monsters are supposed to TRICK. That’s what happens in almost every book.

- Why were there four pearls only for them to lose one? When I first read the book, I didn’t think about them needing more than three so it felt super unnecessary

- I know I’m pointing out too much about each god that appears but I don’t care. Ares admitting he loves his family is soooo weird. Pretty sure he would take over and destroy most of them

- tv show watchers don’t know how close Luke and Annabeth are. Those two barely interact and they tell us a couple times they’re close from lines like ‘She’s like a sister’ and whatnot, but it doesn’t accurately portray the care they have for one another. It doesn’t help that Annabeth barely reacted to his betrayal in the show

[1jemmagirl22]

Ok, so in the past week of my minor to moderate obsession with Lucy and Lockwood from Lockwood and Co I have scene many many comparison to Kanej, I agree with these comparisons, these comparisons are accurate and beautiful. 

But, that being said, I think Lucy and Lockwood share almost as many if not more (And mind you different) similarities with Josh Lyman and Donnatella Moss from the West Wing. 

Am I insane to compare these two? Yes. Am I, via routes of similarity, therefore arguing that Kanej and JoshDonna are similar? Also yes. With that out of the way here’s my argument. 

Everyone is comparing Kaz and Lockwood because of the investment/asset thing, and yes that is a key piece of it, but if you look closer at Lockwood’s character he shares far more similarities to Josh Lyman. Anthony Lockwood, is an arrogant jack ass (or dick head, in Lucy’s words) who uses bravado, quips, genius level work moves, and deflection techniques to cover up his trauma, his fear of hurting the people he loves, of the people he loves leaving him, and his unresolved issues with his dead sister. Josh Lyman is an arrogant jack ass who uses bravado, quips, genius level work moves, and deflection techniques to cover up his trauma, his fear of hurting the people he loves, of the people he loves leaving him, and his unresolved issues with his dead sister! 

I mean, like, I’m not even wrong! Seriously I swear I’m head cannoning Lockwood’s somehow related to Josh Lyman cause my gods are they similar. 

But, Josh and Lockwood aren’t the only similar characters. Lucy Carlyle, is an underestimated, young, bad ass, who absolutely worships her boss, even though he’s a complete jack ass, and has him wrapped around her finger; she lies her way into a job with said jack ass boss, after escaping a toxic environment where her self confidence suffered greatly. Donna Moss is an underestimated, young, bad ass, who absolutely worships her boss, even though he’s a complete jack ass, and has him wrapped around her finger; she lies her way into a job with said jack ass boss, after escaping a toxic environment where her self confidence suffered greatly.

Tell me I’m wrong! Both sides of the ship are nearly identical! Even the fantasy elements vs political elements aside there's still more!

Josh and Donna are always touching, like seriously, look at them!

They are always touching! 

Similarly Lucy and Lockwood, are always touching. 

The constant physical contact, is a major difference to Kanej, because as anyone who has read the books or scene the show knows, Kaz Brekker and Inje Ghafa have many many issues with physical touch. 

But I’m not done! There is also the employer employee dynamic, but the employee, ie. Donna and Lucy, have an unknowing and or knowing ability to make their boss, Josh or Lockwood, do whatever they want because their boss is completely enamored by them. 

No character in either ship can't stand the idea of their significant other hurt, in fact they loose it when the other is hurt. Both ships bounce off each other, with quick banter, and a total understanding of the other’s thoughts. There is an undeniable chemistry, and complete and total understanding in every single gaze between Josh and Donna and Lucy and Lockwood. 

These two ships have so many similarities its insane! They are near perfect parallels, with the only real difference, aside from setting, being age. Lucy and Lockwood are teenagers, Josh and Donna are adults. But set those differences aside and you have two insanely similar ships, with similar backgrounds, character beats, and connections. I honestly can’t believe how amazing this parallel is, and Lockwood and CO deserves another season��

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

Could you write a joker x reader? Reader is an apprentice to the prosthetic guy but doesn’t know he’s using children, reader is just trying to learn from someone well versed and ends up seeing joker a lot and one thing leads to another ? Thank you very much

you're welcome!

fun fact I LOVE THIS OMG <3

When you first joined Noah’s Ark Circus, they all joyfully declared you a third-stringer.

You’re not a performer; far from it. You keep to the tents, mainly the medical tent wherein your mentor works. It’s a place of healing, quiet and out of the spotlight that many of the others seem drawn to.

It doesn’t bother you at all. Doc keeps you busy, even if there’s no one to treat at any given moment. There are other things for you to do, and things that he can teach you. Thank the Lord he took you in and is willing to let you study under him. Already you’ve learned so much.

Reviewing some of the texts he’s left you is one of the few ways you’re able to pass the time while Doc is away. You’re not sure where he is, exactly, but he told you he had to fetch some more supplies from town. What kind of shoppe he went to for such things is beyond you. Maybe he’ll show you someday.

For now, there are no illnesses or injuries, thank goodness, and you’re alone in the medical tent. So you read. You sit and commit things to memory and test yourself.

That’s how you stay, fairly idle, until the tent’s ‘door’ is parted and you hear footsteps in the grass and dirt. Upon looking up, you’re faced with the circus ringleader, JOKER.

To say you’ve had feelings for him since shortly after you met him would be fairly accurate. He’s a handsome man, with sunset-orange hair that reaches past his shoulders and the brightest eyes you’ve ever seen. His smile… it makes your heart melt.

He’s been here in the medical tent pretty frequently ― making visits every couple of days, per Doc’s orders, since he’s got a prosthetic arm. It needs checking up on often, to make sure things are going alright. (Though, if Doc is to be believed, he’s chuckled about having to chase Joker down before, with the man sometimes going a week without having Doc check up. You wonder what’s changed that he’s doing better about that now.)

You won’t complain. You like getting to see him. He always has a new joke for you, and despite that he seems quite shy about letting you examine his prosthetic, you find the technology fascinating. It probably isn’t nearly as much to him… he’s expressed before that he doesn’t like that he’s ‘missing pieces’. You can imagine he’s suffered a lot at the hands of other people’s cruelty because he’s different.

All these people are different. No one is exactly the same. You wish you could find the words to say something like that. You just… don’t know how to go about it without making it sound like you’re dismissing his struggles. Ah, well.

“Afternoon, Joker,” you call as you set your book to the side for now. “How are rehearsals going?”

He uses his prosthetic hand to tip an imaginary hat to you, smile ever present. However, there’s also the distinct look of discomfort on his features. “Afternoon, m’ lovely! Aren’t ye a sight f’r sore eyes. Rehearsals are goin’. Eh, well…”

His other hand is held up so that you can plainly see why he looks to be in pain. A cut across his palm, not especially deep but definitely dripping some blood. “Had a li’l accident. Comes wit’ the territory, I s’pose. Doc ain’t round?”

“Oh, dear! I’d say you had an accident.” Your romantic feelings for him get gently pushed to the side in favor of concern over his wound, and you wave him over toward you. “Doc had to go into town to pick up some things, he said… I offered to go so he wouldn’t have trouble getting around, but he says he likes getting out once in a while. Come here, though, have a seat. I think I can patch you up. What happened?”

He offers a mirthless chuckle, sitting down on the cot next to where you’re studying. “Ah, well, let’s jus’ say I ain’t gonna be takin’ Dagger’s job anytime soon, aye? ‘Parently I don’t know the right end ‘f a knife from the wrong one! Found a point, though, hehe.”

You shake your head. “Still making jokes even when you’re hurt? Tsk, if that doesn’t sound like a man married to his job.”

“Awh, no. I jus’ don’t want ye tae worry, ye knoo?” As soon as you turn toward him with a roll of bandages and a bucket of water, he holds out his hand. “I ‘ad worse than this, so don’t fret, alrigh’?”

You dip a rag in the water, and wring it a bit before reaching to start cleaning the cut on his hand. “No promises. Try not to flinch, okay? Grit your teeth if you have to; this might be a little uncomfortable.”

He does his best, you think. You can practically feel his whole body tense up as you make long, careful strokes down the injury to make sure it gets rinsed as well as you can manage. A hiss of pain even gets sucked through his teeth and you can tell from the look on his face that it isn’t pleasant.

“There we are,” you murmur once you finish that part, resting the rag on the edge of the bucket. “The worst part’s done. It looks like it’s stopped bleeding, since there wasn’t too much that came off while I was cleaning it. I’ll bandage it and let you get back to work. Although,” you add in a teasing tone, “if you wanted an excuse to take a little rest, I’d say you’ve got one.”

He laughs, and thankfully it sounds a little stronger than he seemed while you were cleaning the cut. “By God, I got s’me bad luck, aye? Ain’t enough I’m missin’ a ‘and, I gotta ‘urt the other one. Be useless before long. Bloke wit’out either of his ‘ands ain’t good for much, is he?”

You fall quiet for a minute as you unroll the bandage. You begin to wrap it around his hand, making sure that it’s secure but not overly tight. At the risk of your silence making him think you agree with him, you gingerly run your fingers over his palm after you’ve tied off the bandage with a small knot to keep in place.

“I think you’re good for plenty, Joker.” Even though he goes wide-eyed when you do it, you bring his hand up to your face and press a feather-light kiss to his palm. “That prosthetic Doc gave you allows you to have another hand. And this cut isn’t so bad, even though you should rest it a bit. Honestly, even if you couldn’t use both of your hands, I think you’d still find a way to be amazing.”

His face turns pink, then he lets out a breath of a laugh through his nose. “Maybe y’re the one who needs some medical attention. Got a fever ‘r somethin’? Scramblin’ y’r brains?”

“Oh, please.” You sit down on the cot next to him. “Don’t try to make me laugh. I’m trying to tell you that I have feelings for you.” If only your heart would stop pounding like it’s about to jump out of your chest. “You wouldn’t… happen to have anything to tell me, would you?”

“Ah. Well… no. Nothin’ tae say.” In stark contrast, however, he lets his injured hand curl lightly around your fingers. “… Migh’ ‘ave somethin’ tae do, though.”

With that, he leans forward… and hesitates. He’s so close, you can feel his anxious breath, warm against your lips. He wants it. He’s just too afraid to go for it. You can imagine that other people has beaten him down so thoroughly, the thought that no one who isn’t like him could love him has been engraved onto his heart.

He wants it. He doesn’t think you do. This despite the fact that you’ve just told him you like him. What has the world done to this poor, sweet man?

Well. That’s fine. You’ll just have to engrave something else over his heart, something much kinder.

So you lean forward to meet him halfway, taking his lips against yours. Once you’re there, he’s eager to reciprocate, pressing in against you like he’s been craving for it his whole life.

God, if there were only some way to lock a tent the way you’d lock a bedroom. All you can pray is that Doc doesn’t pick this moment to return.

You feel like perhaps you’ve convinced Joker to take that rest after all, because it’s not long before you’re lying on the cot with him. You’re content to kiss him like this until he feels relaxed enough to go back to the practice tent.

But then you twine your fingers into the bony fingers of his prosthetic, and he shudders like he thinks you’re going to pull away from him. “A-ah, hey…” he mumbles against your lips. “Ye shouldn’t… I mean… ye oughta focus on my good ‘and, darlin’…”

“Hm… but I don’t see a bad hand that you have.” You smile, and kiss him again. Twice as hard this time.

“You’ll have to keep up with your visits here, sweetheart. So I can examine your hand. I’ll need an excuse to hold it, after all.”

[jitteryjive]

i made a post a few days ago about a ce au character named chester.. here he is!! this also includes dolores the other protagonist of this au.. of course this being a body sharing au and also about reflection in fiction i wanted to be very similar to the shifter twins hence why they share a lot of features with the toon they correspond to! i already mentioned the plot of the au in the post about ruth and chester’s relationship but i’ll reinstate it under the cut since i like me my details

the au (which i’m calling Off the Page and Into the Brain) takes place in april of 1935 during the Great Depression; i aim to make it more historically accurate hence why chester and dolores look realistic compared to a lot of humans in crime express, but it’s not 100% historically accurate, 1) because the story very obviously is impossible 2) conditions aren’t nearly as discriminatory as they really would be in 1935 and 3) ruth, blu, tulip, and more are still all queer but they all get misgendered a couple times because they’re not represented in the cartoons, since things weren’t so great in 1935. honestly this au is more for goofs and to write different dynamics than a deeply serious masterpiece!

anyways, like ruth being the most predominant (third person) narrator of crime express, chester is the general narrator for the story. he’s been working for about a decade on animation since he was about twenty during the roaring 20’s, and for the past ~7 years has been working at lane parade animation studios (yeah i just used ruth’s district in show-stoppolis LOL). the studio solely develops and sells a cartoon that features the cast of crime express, however in this all the in-canon humans have the appearances of toonans (which for reference they look more like fleischer studio human characters) and the story is different. ruth and blu are kind of like sam & max, as in they’re fraternal twin freelance detectives and patton (he isn’t called nineteen in this) is their assistant. their personalities are generally identical to their canon adult personalities though ruth is much less chronically anxious and blu’s a lot less trigger-happy. other notable characters are tulip the french socialite, who’s glamorous and notably involved in their entomological schemes, accompanied by mason the bodyguard, who’s much less anxious and better described as sunshiny and cuddly.

the story itself introduces chester as a lover of his craft, especially ruth; she’s his favorite character (especially because he is his main animator) and he feels he understands them on a deep level, especially because he unintentionally puts a lot of facets of his autism into her. when sent to start solitary development on visual concepts for the newest cartoon they’re making, he ends up getting worked up in his office about how they have the budget to consider giving the cast voice actors and how he thinks his opinions aren’t considered regarding the characters. he ends up banging his head by accident on the inside of his desk (he’s looking for a reference book) and spilling ink all over himself. from that point forward he begins to experience odd and unusual symptoms until he ends up having to leave work early after vomiting during a storyboarding session. everything culminates into chester racing to his apartment and his brain being occupied by another person’s conscience while he goes through the classic body horror situation. through unknown means, he’s taken on the appearance and the brain of ruth who reveals herself to have previously been a semi-conscious cartoon character, as well as kind of recognizing him as his cartoonist. they befriend each other, and work together to find a comfortable way to share a body when ruth’s got a bad case of fidgeting and sensory issues versus chester’s need for privacy; from there, the real mystery they have to solve is what the cause for this impossible situation is!

though i’ve only written up to a scene where ruth and chester figure out how to function in public without giving the clear appearance he’s roomies in a toon body with the toon herself, there are several scenes and characters i’ve developed, which i will laboriously detail 😅

dolores martínez (she/her), the deuteragonist, is the studio intern who’s been on for about four or five months. her parents immigrated to louisiana sometime in the tens, so she was born with her first younger sister there and raised for a couple years before moving further north, in which her second youngest sister was born; in her mid-twenties now she must look after her now teenage and tween sisters due to uncomfortable parental situations (this’ll get more developed when i write more). inside the studio, dolores is the intern and generally keeps away from everyone due to being stoic and gauche. however, especially as the story develops, she sort of has a special bond with chester as he’s unconditionally kind to everyone (even if they’re fucking dicks to him) and he’s very helpful to her, which is a relief because she also gets pushed around a lot. this is technically a spoiler cause i’m deliberately building up to it with red herrings and everything but chester eventually reveals to dolores that he’s sharing a body with ruth, expecting her to be disturbed or whatever, but she freaks out and reveals that for the past three months she’s been sharing a body with blu?!?!? which their relationship is an entire fun thing because they work really well together

roh jung-hun (he/him) is… kind of an antagonist at first! however he overcomes a lot of internalized problems and reveals his actual personality of being a gentle and loving person. before this big change, jung-hun is witty, snarky, and can be very well described as censorious. this comes from hailing from a bit of a pressuring and stress-inducing family, which leaves him treating his coworkers the same, especially chester. they spend a lot of time together due to him being the biggest animator of blu, like chester’s responsibility with ruth. the toon that he ends up sharing a body with is mason, inexplicably. this is because i think it would be hilarious and also ruth/chester and blu/dolores get along so well that jung-hun and mason butting heads is good writing practice. the obvious happens where mason eventually pinpoints what makes jung-hun act the way he does, and he works to heal his brain-roommate through friendship and care that’s not really found in big city 1935. also mason does his classic accidental power of making jung-hun realize he’s gay because mason is one thing and that’s a sweet and handsome boy

there’s a lot of characters and plot points not mentioned here but i wanted to put the major humans in this because they’re important you know!!

[hayatheauthor]

Seven Blogs You Need To Read As An Author

Writing a book mandates professional writing void of any errors. But oftentimes authors find themselves in a position where they can’t tell where they’ve gone wrong or how to improve their manuscript. 

One of the best ways to improve your writing is by reading. Or more specifically, reading professional advice from creative writing blogs. 

Don’t know where to start? Here are some of my favourite writing blogs to get advice, that helped me make my manuscript ready for queries. This list of blogs is effective for writers of all sizes, so whether you’re working on a short story or editing your manuscript, be sure to stick around till the end for seven blogs you need to read as a writer. 

How To Write With Colour 

Descriptions can be hard! But they are made harder when authors run the risk of coming off as racist by accidentally using the wrong set of words. 

Even as a POC, I too sometimes feel lost when trying to accurately describe my POC characters. One easy way to overcome this obstacle is by asking yourself ‘would I be describing this particular body part/feature if this character was white? Is this description something that people would realistically notice if they saw this character in real life?’

These questions, or ones similar to them, should help you overcome your concerns about your description, but making sure your writing doesn’t accidentally offend an entire country is only the first step! 

As an author, your biggest goal should be to immerse your readers with compelling prose that paints a clear picture in their heads. One easy way to do this is by following the advice in this how to write with colour blog. 

One thing I love about this blog is the various examples the author provides you with. They give you so much more than the typical rundown of things you shouldn’t do when writing POCs and provide authors with the examples they need to seamlessly create beautiful descriptions for their characters. 

I often leave this blog open while typing my manuscript and turn to it every time I feel stuck while writing my wip, and it really helped bring my characters to life while cutting down on any unnecessary or redundant phrases.    

Cheat Sheets For Writing Body Language 

Bringing your character’s emotions to life is possibly one of the biggest obstacles of writing. As authors, we need to paint a scene that doesn’t just explain our character’s feelings but also shows them. 

The occasional clenched fist or furrowed brows can go a long way when writing and turn a confusing passage into an insightful window to the character’s emotions. But if done wrong, these little descriptions can create distance between the reader and the character. 

Let’s be honest, most of us don’t curl our lips into a sneer every time we feel annoyed. And while eyes might be the window to a person’s soul, they aren’t nearly as descriptive as writers make them out to be. 

So, how can you avoid these cliche and underwhelming descriptions while also realistically conveying your character’s emotions? With this cheat sheet for writing body language! 

This is yet another blog I often leave open while working on my manuscript because it can give me the words I need to elevate my writing seamlessly. Once you skim the author’s list you might notice these gestures are things we often do in our daily life but fail to think of while writing. 

This blog might not incorporate some of the emotions your characters might feel, but its comprehensive list is still worth taking a look at. 

How To Write Dialogue— formatting, examples, and tips 

Writing dialogue is possibly one of the first skills writers pick up when their fingers hit the keyboard. But learning how to format your character’s conversations is only the first step. Authors also have to take their flow and tone into perspective. 

It’s easy for writers to overlook the impact their character’s vocabulary and tone can make on a scene. Maybe they use casual words and gesture widely with their hands when they’re speaking to their friends but have a clipped tone and place their hands behind their back while addressing their seniors. 

These small changes can help define your character’s relationship with the other person and also paint a clear picture of what they’re feeling throughout the conversation. How loud is their voice? How stable is their tone? Did they flinch when the other person asked them a question? Did their ‘eyes dance with amusement’ as they locked eyes with a friend helping them solidify a lie? 

The how to write dialogue blog provides writers with this advice and more and allows authors to easily create a realistic and descriptive conversation. 

How To Describe Setting In Literature

Dialogue helps fill your reader in, but its description that makes them turn the page. But how can you accurately describe your story’s setting without seeming over or underwhelming? 

Painting a scene helps set the foundation of your story. But many authors restrict their description by only focusing on what their character sees rather than what they feel. The ringing in their ears, the sudden clamminess in their palms, the way their mouth dried as their watched the scene before them. 

This short yet informative blog on how to describe setting in literature tells you how to properly describe your character’s situation and the setting in one go without overwhelming your reader with long unnecessary passages. 

You don’t have to revisit this multiple times like some of the other blogs I’ve written about, but there are certain points the author mentions that, if taken into perspective while writing, can drastically improve your story’s setting. 

How To Dump Info Without Info Dumping 

Authors often stumble upon moments in their manuscripts that require a bit of background information to set the scene. But how much information is too much? 

A manuscript full of info dumping and purple prose is any editor’s worst nightmare and can negatively impact a literary industry professional’s attitude towards your manuscript. It also ruins a reader’s immersion. 

So how can you get set the scene for your story without overwhelming your reader with information they don’t need to know? My advice would be to check out Ellen Brock’s guide on how to dump info without info dumping. 

This blog doesn’t just talk about how to rid your manuscript of info dumping but also provides writers with a step-by-step process on how to effectively write a scene without accidentally info dumping. 

Fun fact: the initial example presented in this blog is actually reminiscent of the type of thing I would write during my fanfiction days, but I was lucky enough to stumble upon this blog while writing the first draft of The Traitor’s Throne and haven’t looked back since. 

If you’re an author who isn’t sure how to dump info without info dumping, I highly recommend sparing ten minutes to read through Ellen’s comprehensive guide.

World Building Tip— Writing Without The Info Dumping

Info dumping comes in various shapes and sizes. Sometimes it can look like an unnecessary passage that describes details of the past the reader doesn’t really need to know, like Ellen mentioned. But it can also look like an entire page of your book that describes the background story of the very important staff your antagonist just stole. 

Creating lore for your universe is possibly the most exciting part of world-building. But what most writers (including me) tend to forget is that only a small fraction of what you know about your world should make it into your writing.

Your protagonist’s great aunt’s wild collection of exotic magical creatures illegally stored under their family estate might make for a thrilling tale, but do your readers really need to know about that just because your character snuck into the basement to eavesdrop on their parent’s conversations? Probably not. 

The next time you itch to explore another aspect of your story’s lore or history, do yourself a favour and check out this blog on how to world-build without info dumping.

If you make it a point to remember these two blogs (Ellen’s and the one above) while you set the scene for your manuscript, then you can seamlessly eliminate any info dumping in your manuscript. 

Need help finding the right websites and writing apps for your worldbuilding? Visit my previous blog today! 

Eleven Ways To Draw Your Reader In 

Do you have the foundation for a good story but lack that special spark that can hook your reader and draw them in? Or maybe you just feel like your manuscript lacks that extra oomph to make it a compelling read? 

Whatever the case, if you’re facing difficulties with hooking your literary agent, beta readers, and potential audience, take a look at these eleven ways to draw your reader in, and make them stay. 

It can be easy to lure your reader in with a good hook, but much harder to make sure they stay interested. Whether it be little tweaks to make in your writing style or a drastic change in pacing that keeps the reader on the edge of their seat, this blog covers all the tips and tricks you need to draw your reader in and keep them hooked. 

I would suggest making a small list of your own that covers the pointers mentioned in this blog and leaving it somewhere you can easily see when you return to write your manuscript (if you type on your laptop, I would suggest keeping a note open on your desktop so you’re reminded of these pointers every time you open your laptop).

Conclusion

Robert Frost was certainly on to something when he said “no tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader.” So I will end this blog with a timeless piece of advice every writer must heed— read your own work. And read it well. 

Think of it this way; if you can’t even hook yourself with your book, then how are you going to hook hundreds of strangers who already have an endless list of good books at their disposal? 

Writing your book is just the first step. But reading these seven blogs and keeping up with Haya’s Book Blog will help you climb the rest of the staircase and take your manuscript to the next level. 

Want to learn more about me and my writing journey? Visit my social media pages under the handle @hayatheauthor where I post content about my WIP and life as a teenage author. 

[ninja-muse]

Top 3 authors on my shelves #top3authorsonshelf

Tagged by @stefito0o, thank you! I know I'm severely belated getting this up but all of these authors are double-stacked on my shelves and hauling them out and reassembling my shelves is something I haven't had the energy for until lately. (Also, these aren't entirely accurate stacks because I only went for "read and owned" and didn't trawl the TBR shelves.)

Terry Pratchett - This should surprise nobody who's met me! I discovered him while working in a library during high school and have never looked back. I'm working on collecting an edition of everything he's written and I'm very nearly there. It was hard getting everything into the same shot here, let me tell you.

Seanan McGuire - Also probably not a surprise to many followers! She's another one of my auto-buys, after Pratchett, and I can count on her books to be either entertaining or heartbreaking, and often both at the same time. …And I've just realized I didn't include her books as Mira Grant. Whoops. Oh well. Assume you see the Newsflesh trilogy here too!

Lois McMaster Bujold - A friend in my early 20s said I had to read the Vorkosigan books and they were right! At the time, like with Pratchett, the easiest/best way for me to read everything was to hit up used bookstores whenever possible, hence the varying print runs. Then I padded out the set with omnibus editions and started in on her fantasy works. I don't know if I'll buy more of the World of Five Gods novels than what I have, because I like her SF a little more, but I have a few and no regrets there.

Tagging: @bookcub @lizziethereader @readingrobin @therefugeofbooks @aliteraryprincess @franticvampirereads @kaitlynslibraryy @thequeerlibrarian @wearethekat

[michelleelizabethtanner]

Question about season 4 episode 6: do you think Rio knew that Beth was doing something shady (hiding the wire) before he serviced her? Or did he really not know and just decided that was the time to restart their sexual intimacy? If it's the former, why would he still go for it? If it's the latter, why was that the time to do it? Was he just horny?

Loving the asks so much 🥹🥹🥹

First of all, when isn’t Rio horny? If fanfics are at all accurate, that man is insatiable, with a 0.025 second refractory period and stamina of a man half his age. He wishes. (Any nearly 40 year old man wishes.) Lmao!

But ok, let’s get into our angsty feels here. Because Rio sure was in 4.06. IDK how much louder Beth could have been that she was up to something. Her tone, her body language, everything about her screamed guilt. She cannot lie to that man. Not well, at least. Let’s think rationally. Beth told him the SS had approached her with a deal. Rio even joked about how she needed to make sure they take care of her because he’s worth it. Then she had him murder someone who clearly wasn’t SS, making it really clear that there was a hit out on Rio. He questioned her and she very obviously lied. He looked like he didn’t believe her. Then suddenly his car is tracked and he’s suspicious that she’s wired. He must have know she was informing. How would he not know??? He for sure knew.

I almost feel like he was messing with her, coming over to the shelf, putzing around with the stuff there. He for sure noticed the spot where the books were messes up. Everything was so nearly arranged. How could he not have seen? I’m certain he anticipated that she’d come into this meeting with her usual BS, trying to put him away or have him killed. He intentionally didn’t tell her the nature of the event to throw her. His behavior was so familiar, so doting – intentionally appealing to her humanity and asking her not to betray him again.

Their private conversation was this combination of calculated deception and honest emotion. Like all the rest of their relationship. And yeah, I do think he wanted to reconnect with her intimately. It was both a calculated, practical step, and a very raw need. There was this duality for them both of a guarded standoff, and a vulnerable giving in. Their history was so heavy in that room with them. It wasn’t just a “right now” kind of thing. It was also all the intimate touches they’d experienced together, all the ways they’d connected, the knowledge they had of each other’s bodies and how they fit together so easily and seamlessly even in that awkward stance against a bookshelf with the door open.

“Gotta know you’re good enough.”

“For you?”

“For business.”

And how those words barely restrained the sea of feeling behind them. I could watch her lift her eyebrow at him a million times.

Because of COURSE for him.

The restraint they both showed speaks to their characters. Because who of us could have withstood not sinking right into that pull? That nearness. Touching but pretending they aren’t touching. Feeling so much but pretending they aren’t feeling anything at all.

It’s why he thought that things were “different now.” He was communicating something to her. Showing her how he’s chosen her. It wasn’t the sex. It was all that weighted history. All that doting affection. The amicability of that whole dinner and everything that happened during it, including him catching her obviously conspiring against him.

“So dinner was… uhhh… fun. Yeah?”

I could watch his little barely concealed smile and look over at her a million times. *swoons*

[trashydinosaurpanda]

This is an absolutely wild thing to say. “Academic source for your critique on racism in a pop culture franchise popular with the white middle class both I and the original author primarily identify with?” Just…. That’s hilarious. Tell me you aren’t familiar with anti-Indigenous tropes (Gale’s implied and shamed promiscuity, his implied being a sex worker and Haymitch’s alcoholism), anti-Black tropes (the Black district being agricultural, the Black characters having primarily item and literal-based names, the whole setup of Panem’s districts because it has uniquely shallow infrastructure that lends itself to a quick and simple coup—which anyone who’s done international politics or sociology 101 could tell you, in detail and which I would but it’s a waste of my time since you’re already praising it up and down).

In case you are wondering, the reason I am angry is not that you chose to assign meaning that didn’t exist, but rather because you are completely ignoring the meaning that *absolutely* does. You are posturing yourself as an academic having serious conservation and digging because the ground is soft while completely dismissing you are located in a landfill. It’s actually hilarious to me how thoroughly and accurately you recreated the hostility of academia to marginalized people in order to justify your opinions.

Since I know this is going to make you so defensive they’re going to try and recruit you for college football, a few points:

While there are other Black characters who are non-violent, there are no non-Black characters as ruthless (or portrayed the same way as) Thresh, who is seen as defective, even by Panem standards (this also makes his portrayal ableist, btw).

Panem cannot be a post-racial society since their agricultural district is explicitly portrayed as mega-majority Black and District 12 townspeople are all either white or actively passing.

Every single brown and Black person is killed, either physically or in spirit, including Katniss. Peeta, notably, is not. And he isn’t the only one. White (or white presenting) people killed are universally ‘sacrifices’ and ‘tragedies’ (even the bad guys). Only the brown and Black people who die under extraordinary circumstances/in service to the ‘heroes’ are worth mourning, and only for a paragraph. Not throughout the narrative.

All the moral crusaders are white (Peeta) or white-presenting (Prim). Nearly all the white people are “just ignorant” or “victims too” (except, notably, the Clinton analogues, which is VERY noticeable because Hillary Clinton did civil rights work). Black and brown people are either faceless (explicitly in many parts of the first book) or obstacles (even Rue). All. Of. Them. (Haymitch too!)

The districts setup is Divergent-bad if you have an in-depth understanding of textiles, manufacturing, logistics, construction, or agriculture. My friends and I make fun of it bc it is THE example of someone not understanding society or infrastructure or authoritarian regimes. Because the racism was more important to the set-up.

Just because you do not recognize you are in a landfill doesn’t mean other people don’t see all the trash strewn about when we show up.

there was a moment when the people in the movie theatre and the capitol audience in the stands were laughing at the same things, having the same reactions to the games, to the deaths, to flickermans jokes, to the doctor's announcement...i wonder aren't we watching it for entertainment too

suzanne collins' books may exist in popular culture as "dystopian", but they have always been a meticulous and startlingly close social critique of our world. at what point does our own idolization of the movies and the books repeat that story? we watch just as the capitol audience does.

all dystopia eventually crosses a line from realistic futurism to current relevancy. how long will it take us to realize we've already crossed that line with these books? and the very people who need to realize this are the ones in that audience...real or fake, we're the same: consuming and consuming.

[creampuffqueen]

finished natla!

mostly incoherent thoughts behind the cut. spoilers, obvi

overall rating: solid B, 7.5/10

alrighty, that’s done and dusted. overall it was pretty decent. if you’re on the fence about watching it, i’d say go ahead and give it a shot

let’s go with my complaints first lol

- the costuming kinda bothered me for some reason. like it was all very show accurate, but it just doesn’t translate as well to live action. it all looked like cosplay to me tbh

- sidelining sokka and katara for an entire episode was. a choice. i know they were sidelined once or twice in the og show but with such a limited amount of episodes i think it really took away a lot of what could have been used for further character development

- also not a fan of how they just offhandedly mentioned the other adventures but never showed them. i think a lot of my issues with the show will boil down to them simply not being able to fit everything in with their limited episode number

- and also that atla as a premise just isn’t good for live action. it’s just not. at its soul this show is a netflix money grab trying to piggyback off the success of atla

- i wasn’t a fan of the continued idea of “the avatar must work alone”. like bro that has never been true for any avatar. sure they carry the burden of being the avatar alone, but they aren’t supposed to work alone. all of the avatars before aang had friend groups!! let aang have friends jfc

- some of the spirit stuff was kinda goofy and not in a good way. idk it just didn’t hit the same way as in the og

- and my absolute biggest issue has to be with zuko not being saved by aang in the north pole. that is such a titular moment for zuko’s development and it was just thrown out. not a fan of that choice at all

- also i really hated sokka’s flashback scene. both because it doesn’t make as much sense continuity wise since ice dodging is a coming of age ritual and sokka wasn’t of age during that time, but also because hakoda would never speak about his son that way??? not the hakoda i know, at least

- as for smaller gripes: they made suki a nepo baby??? they almost killed momo??? appa really doesn’t feel like an actual character in this show, just a mode of transport

- the cave of two lovers plot was both put in book 1, and given to sokka and katara. while i love sibling relationship appreciation, they really shortchanged kataang in this show

- aang does like zero waterbending. in the og show he’s nearly a master at the end of book 1. in this show i think he’s only bent water in the avatar state. how can he move on to earth if he isn’t waterbending

- although i really enjoyed how they went about with sukka in this show, i feel like it could have been done differently to align more with the og. even though sokka is not sexist in this (which i don’t mind, it’s not nearly as much of his character as people claim it is), he’s still insecure about his ability to protect his tribe. i would have liked to still see him humble himself to suki, because he’s at first embarrassed to be beaten that easily but then comes to respect her abilities. they sort of tried to do that but without the humbling part, which i feel is an essential starter to their relationship

okay enough complaining onto what i liked

- i think the actors all did a great job with their characters

- the fight scenes were pretty great

- the bending also looked pretty good

- i think a warm hug from gyatso would fix me

- i know some people hated all the exposition stuff but i really liked it personally

- i enjoyed getting to see azula and her girls this early. also love baby face azula, it really adds to how fucked up the situation is because like. that’s a child

- i think the producers did fairly well in combining some of the episodes. it was interesting and didn’t feel too weird

- it’s fun that the producers also have all this extra atla universe knowledge now. there was stuff included in this that was only shown in the comics or in the kyoshi novels, which is very neat

- despite my prior complaints, like action sukka really did eat and leave no crumbs. i’m very excited to see more of suki, both because she’s my fav, but also because i think her actress did a really great job!

again, overall it was a fun, entertaining watch. it’s kinda like the atla sparknotes version. you get most of the plot, some of the charm. would i rewatch? i will rewatch episode 2 just because i want to see suki (and her milf mom). otherwise, eh, probably not, i’d rather rewatch the og

though i will be adding these three things specifically to my personal atla canon:

- oma and shu are lesbians

- the 41st division 🥺

- milkbending is a thing

[gwydionmisha]

The Powers of Darkness aka the Icelandic Dracula

I finished reading The Powers of Darkness, which for those not following Dracula scholarship is the English translation of the Icelandic "translation" of Dracula.  They discovered nearly a hundred years after publication that while parts of it are translation, most of it is basically fan fic.  (There is a debate about if he had access to an earlier draft or notes from Stoker that I'm not qualified to comment on.)  It is a wild ride.

The early section on the way to the castle has some minor divergence, but it goes wildly off on it's own direction shortly after Thomas Harker aka Jonathan Harker arrives at the castle, as in a whole other novel with only small things in common instead of the familiar plot.  One of the "brides" is a major character.  She and another bride we don't see at the castle have back stories.  The castle is full of people/monsters.  seriously, it's a wildly different plot.

Somehow it manages to be even more antisemitic and racist than the Stoker.  We are talking H.P.Lovecraft levels of queasy making over the top xenophobia.  I'm not sorry I read it once for academic interest, but my brain will need a lot of showers to clean the taste of it out levels of ick here, so if you plan to follow in my footsteps, brace yourself.  I was braced for the usual Stoker antisemitism and racism against Roma, I was not remotely prepared for this.

Most of the book is Johnathan Harker's dramatically expanded adventures in the castle.  I found myself ninety pages from the end and England wasn't even in sight, at which point I began to wonder if Thomas was going to kill Dracula and all the other characters and the rest of the novel would be left out.  I was not correct in this guess, but really, the rest of the novel is confusing and half assed.

Basically, the Harker bits of the novel are complex and richly described.  We are talking tons more detail about the castle and the people in it and all this extra plot.  The rest of the novel reads like cliff notes.  It's a warp speed summary, but also has a bunch of extra characters, a completely different plot after the Lucy section, a ton of loose ends and things never properly explained.  It has a completely different ending.  Also, I'm pretty sure it leaves a whole bunch of vampires just wandering around several European countries including England, and if I didn't know how far this book’s writing predates WWI, this could serve as a supernatural backstory of the rise of fascism in Europe.  O.o

Like I don't even know what I just read.  Seriously WTF.

Of course, Dracula has never been accurately adapted in movies as far as I know, but still, I keep wondering how weird English language Dracula movies must have been for Icelanders.  So many of the characters and more important scenes they'd have known from the book aren't there, because they only exist in the Icelandic version.

I have so many questions, most of which are likely unanswerable.

[streettealee]

So, I’ve written both original works and many, many fanfics (not all published, and not all available anymore, or complete for that matter). I started off with vague ideas and just writing plot as I went along, which, funnily enough, is how I did my first big fanfics. The first was called Built For Ruin, which was a weird dystopian thing with a lot of original characters and worldbuilding, yet I classify it as fanfic because I used a lot of book characters and fandoms as half the setting. It ended up at 80,000 words and I was making it up the entire way along. I would only know certain vague plot points maybe a few chapters ahead, and that was it. I didn’t thrive this way but I did, evidently, get a lot done still (because I completed that novella, and still have a copy, but it’s not up anywhere for reading anymore). 

The second is for the TLH fandom, which I titled Chain of Lies. What happened was that it started as a dream, so I was given an interesting and kind of bonkers plot that I just weaved into canon. I didn’t really plan it, just as I didn’t plan BFR, and so a lot of plot points were made up along the way. Essentially, I started out writing as a pantser. Letting the story take me where it wanted to go (and I had a bad habit of letting readers’ opinions guide my decisions when writing too, which I’ve curbed since then, because it often led to my writing just not feeling right). I would know character goals and who my cast was, and that was about it. 

Since then, I rewrote it. Or, more accurately, I reimagined the fic and called it Wasting Beats In This Heart Of Mine. This one I wanted to make better. So, I made a playlist of a bunch of songs I thought fit the vibe I wanted, rearranged them to fit a story’s arcs of highs and lows (it’s hard to describe my thought process behind this bit in particular without trying to physically show it to you with weird diagrams), used them as chapter mood setters, and began taking parts of my old fic and changing them into something I like better with a much more cohesive and consistent plot (that was the goal anyway). I started with pen and paper in my notebook, just assigning each chapter its song and doing dot points of narrative beats I needed to hit and anything else I wanted to include. Before I did that, I wrote out all the members of my cast and certain antagonist motivations (which involved rather strange flow charts). I also had to drag my sister and best friend into this to get them to listen as I explained my new overarching plot for this book with wild hand gestures and scribbled circles and names on a piece of paper and a lot of pointing at different circles and years (i.e. 1903, 1905, 2021, and so on). From there I planned down to the day what plot beats happened when, which chapters spanned what days, what day in December Lila arrives in 1903 and, more importantly, exactly when Doomsday happens. Typed all of this up into a Word document where there is still mad highlighting and way too many notes and dot-points. The entire damn fic (already at ~120,000 words and nearly 30 chapters out of 50) is planned out. Every scene has been premeditated months in advance. There’s only been the occasional thing (such as character relationships) that aren’t as set because I want them to develop more naturally and so while they have their own beats to hit each chapter, I don’t plan how those interactions go exactly.

Anyway. I’ve taken a similar but much simpler version of this approach with my longer works, but the short ones I don’t plan out to such detail. Most of my shorter fics exist to be time-wasters and procrastination projects. While they have plots often pre-planned, I go more with the flow. This does unfortunately mean they have a higher rate of unreliable updates compared to the likes of WBITHOM (the only reason that fic is not updated is because uni started up again and I’ve had limited time to rewrite what I already have of chapter 30). I find planning in such detail has kept my steam going much better, so I don’t feel as lost or lose motivation quite as easily (so long as there’s still reader engagement - I struggle badly without it frequently), and it makes me feel prouder of my work and the effort I put in. It does, however, make everything feel to boring or predictable to me, because I already know everything that’s going on, whereas readers (hopefully) don’t. But it makes it tricky, toeing that line between writing plot stuff too obvious and trying to keep subtle when I, again, Literally Already Know Everything. 

I won’t lie, writing WBITHOM is very demanding. Chapters are 3,000 words on average. There’s a lot of moving parts in the plot. It’s a fanfic with so much effort put in that I often feel like could be put to better use on my original works. It drives me to writing fun side projects like Soft Hearts, Electric Souls and Pride and Prejudice and The Rain (It Rains Every Day), which don’t get nearly as much attention even if they’d be more popular among the fandom than an OC-centred fic. I get exhausted writing a novel-length piece. But I love the world I’ve created that isn’t quite the same as canon. It’s my own little escape. And so I will always come back to it eventually. And that’s made easier by already having a plan laid out so clearly for it. And when readers engage, it gets so fun going back and reading as if with their eyes. I really enjoy these characters and my bonkers plots. So, yeah. That’s me.

writers in the fandom (or just in general) how do you plan out your fics? realising only now how very long it's been since I've written something that isn't a scientific paper or the like and currently it's a disjointed series of random one-shots that I'm like 'that felt right' and a vague idea of overall story arc. do you use, like, pen and paper? draw it out like a cross-section of a mountain terrain with height=how intense it is and key points marked out? how do you even decide what is a key point? and if you put effort into all of these things, how do you keep it fun and not make it get demandy?

[the-goofy-fangirl]

wait you’re a what?

the hobbitxreader

ok so. first fic. like ever. here we go. scorpio is the first sign we do, coz it’s mine and the one i know best haha

pairing: the company of thorin oakenshield x fem!(short)human!reader; thorin x reader if you squint

but really it can be read gn

warnings: insults to scorpios; astrology; really just fluff haha.

synopsis: you’re talking with the company about zodiac signs and you share yours, getting a nice and interesting reaction out of them.

a/n: for the company’s signs i’ll be using the actors signs if i know them or just kinda guessing based on how they act in the books/movies. i also forgot if the dos is in the same year they start the journey or not so imma just gonna go with this au where it is :)

(y/n = your name)

•••••••

“the stars are absolutely gorgeous tonight,” bilbo says in awe, head facing the heavens above.

“indeed,” says gandalf. “it must be scorpio season, i can see the constellation.”

well that explains a lot. you’re a scorpio, and boy do you act like it. or so you think.

the company of thorin oakenshield gathers around to set up camp for the night, the late october weather surprisingly warm. chilly, as autumn normally is, but manageable.

“ah, yes, the scorpios. dreadful.” bilbo states. you laugh inwardly. you and bilbo have become great friends over the journey although you never mentioned birthdays. you wonder how he will react to finding out yours.

“now isn’t that a bit prejudiced?” kili chips in. no one in the company knows your sign, and you’re intrigued to see how this will play out. you sit on the grass next to the fire that Oin and Gloin are making. thorin is on your right, setting up his bed roll.

“yes but it’s accurate!” bofur says and the company laughs.

“what’s everyone’s sign?” bilbo asks. it warms your heart to see him so comfortable as he sits on the other side of you.

“dwalin, aren’t you a capricorn?” fili asks.

“he sure acts like it. loyal, dangerous, scary…” kili chips in. dwalin says nothing and just continues to sharpen his sword, but you can tell he’s at least smiling on the inside.

“are there any dwarven customs with astrology?” bilbo asks; now thankfully you don’t have to.

“no more than anyone else. it’s more of a compatibility factor than anything.” balin says. “like for example, i’m a cancer, so i might get along well with a scorpio.”

“the only sign that goes well with scorpio is the devil himself!” ori grumbles sending the others into laughter again. you’re the only one who doesn’t laugh besides thorin and gandalf, but they don’t laugh at much of anything. you don’t shift from your stoic facial expression.

“how about you bilbo?”

“ah, i’m a virgo. my season was the one before last.”

“again, why does that explain so much?” kili laughs.

“aye, you and that stupidly genius plan of yours with the trolls!” bofur said smiling at the good/slightly extremely traumatic memories.

“how about you, thorin?” dori spoke up.

“yes, what’s your sign?” those who didn’t know questioned.

“leo.” he said bluntly.

“ok now that makes sense!” you say laughing.

“oh, she speaks!” kili says sarcastically, but not unkindly.

“you have been quiet, Y/N,” thorin mentioned. “why do you say that?”

“you just seem like a leo.” you say. “leading, confident…” you stop before you blush but you already see thorin’s cheeks tint pink under his beard at the words. you meant them as compliments and you both knew it.

“what’s your sign, lass?” dwalin finally spoke.

“oh, are we not going to acknowledge dwalin’s silence?” you joke.

“no, just yours.” thorin plays along, to your surprise.

you glance at gandalf slightly nervously. he raises his eyebrows, not giving the answer you sought from him.

“i’m a scorpio.” you said simply. there’s half a moment of stunned silence from the company but it felt like hours. the company shot looks at each other, scolding themselves for the rude comments.

“you?!” kili nearly shouts.

all eyes turn to you, expecting a slightly angry response. but you know that being a scorpio has its perks. like, in truth, being the most hated zodiac. you secretly love it, but you’ll never tell them that.

“yes.” you stared at him for a moment with your signature scorpio look on your face as if to prove your point.

“are you sure?” bilbo asks. you turn your head to him as if to ask “i’m sorry, what?? how can i NOT be sure?”

“yes.” you say with a slight smile. “see how we can’t judge all because of a few?” being a human, you’ve been making that point a lot these past few months. humans have been deemed untrustworthy and horrid creatures by the majority of the other races, and you’re determined to prove them wrong. some have been easier, like hobbits, than others, like dwarves.

“a human and a woman and a scorpio. huh.” fili says. after a beat he adds, “smaug has nothing on us!”

“scorpios being one of the most loyal signs, i believe this does help your case.” thorin says with a smile.

“does this mean we can still make fun of scorpio’s?” bofur asks.

“if we can make fun of you, libra.” you say.

“yea- wait. how’d you know that? i never told you!” the company is silent, shocked.

“hey, scorpio, remember? intuition. i look into your soul for a few seconds and then i know everything about you.” you give a small smile, a typical scorpio smile.

“you never cease to amaze me, Y/N.” gandalf sighs.

•••••••

ahhh tell me how y’all liked it!!! comment what you’d like me to do next.

(if you liked it, plz reblog instead of translating/copying without permission. feel free to request a fic at any time!!)

[rainbowfoxes]

I can normally deal with people not reading the comics, because not everyone has the means to or even the desire to, and that's okay! The cartoons and a lot of the shows are great, and I can typically adjust to the different continuities being referenced quick enough.

But the one thing that gets me every time in fics written by people who aren't familiar with the comics is the timeline. It is always incredibly wonky and all over the place and just. Incorrect. Sometimes it makes me laugh, sometimes it makes me 🙃, and others I have to leave right now immediately.

So in the interest of saving myself (and perhaps others) a ???? reaction in the future, here is a (very) rough and non-exhaustive order of events for the Bat Clan. The time between these events are variable, but this is the general order of things.

Thomas and Martha Wayne are murdered

Bruce goes on his training trip

Bruce comes back and begins his whole I Am The Night shtick

The Grayson family is murdered

Bruce fosters Dick

Dick debuts as Robin

Justice League/ Super Friends/ whatever group is formed

Dick forms the Teen Titans with Donna, Garth, Roy, and Wally.

Dick leaves Gotham (either for college, or because of an argument with Bruce)

Sometimes more Titans things happen. They also break up at some point

Raven forms the second iteration of the Teen Titans to fight her father. The team is comprised of Dick, Raven, Donna, Wally, Kori, Gar, and Vic.

Jason steals the tires off the Batmobile, thwarts his own grandmother's attempts at robbing a museum, and is adopted by Bruce. He is also made Robin - Note that oftentimes Dick is still Robin at this time as well.

Babs gets shot by the Joker for her dad and Bruce's man pain. She becomes Oracle as a result.

Jason and Bruce have a fight, and Jason goes to find his biological mother.

Jason is betrayed by his supposed mother and murdered by the Joker.

Tim shows up and does his "Batman needs Robin" Thing.

Jason crawls himself out of his grave and promptly gets hit by a car. Don't worry, we'll check in with him later.

Tim's mom is murdered and his father left in a coma that he eventually recovers from.

Knightfall happens - Bane breaks Bruce's back, Jean-Paul Valley is Batman for a minute and so is Dick.

Contagion happens - some dumbass releases a super plague on the city but it's okay because they make a vaccine that everyone gets because it's 1996 and no one has given Jenny McCarthy the opportunity to start the Anti-Vax movement yet.

Legacy happens - It's break through cases this time but don't worry, they fix it because this is comic books and people have two braincells to rub together.

Dick goes to Blüdhaven!!! This is the big one for me tbh. Please stop putting him in the Blüd while Jason is alive, I beg of you. You're killing me.

Cataclysm happens - a massive earthquake hits Gotham, and it is Very Bad. The US government decides to abandon the city and kill anyone trying to leave or enter after a certain date. Because that's an entirely reasonable thing to do. This leads to.....

No Mans Land - the approximate year that the city was cut off from the rest of the country. Lots of shit happens during this time - Cassandra Cain debuts, Stephanie Brown has her baby, Tim goes to boarding school, Sarah Essen-Gordon dies. If there is the only one comic book arc you read, please let it be this one.

Bruce is framed for the murder of Vesper Fairchild - not really important in the grand scheme of things but I love Vesper and you should too.

Hush happens - basically Tommy Elliot has Problems and also Jason shows up but not really but yest really (hi thank you retcons). It's a thing. Read the wikipedia page it's actually very helpful.

Tim's dad finds out that he's Robin and forces him to retire.

The next couple of things happen right on top of each other so - Blockbuster sets fire to Haly's circus and blows up Dick's apartment building and a bunch of other bad things. Tarantula kills Blockbuster and rapes Dick while he's in shock.

Immediately afterwards War Games starts - Steph starts a gang war to prove her worth to Bruce, gets murdered but not really by Black Mask, it's a whole thing.

Side bar - why did no one warn me about Black Mask killing Orpheus - a Black vigilante - and then impersonating him with full Blackface? Everyone talks about what he did to Steph but I really think we need to talk about what he did to Orpheus. Also if you haven't read War Games yet, here are some accurate trigger warnings for it: blackface, sexualized murder of a teenaged girl, a school shooting where a child dies.

Tim comes back as Robin.

Under the Red Hood happens - Jason comes back to Gotham, kills some guys, tries to kill Tim, does his whole Thing. You've probably seen the movie but I also recommend you read the comics it's v good and every time I read Jason's final speech I start crying.

Damian shows up

Final Crisis happens and Bruce "dies" aka gets lost in time, so the boys duke it out over who gets to be Batman. Tim goes on his murder mystery tour. Jason goes to prison but not before adopting a weird little girl named Sasha. Dick is left with Batman.

Oops turns out Steph isn't dead she's back and she's Batgirl now and low-key co-parenting Damian with Dick. It's very cute.

Cass is off being Black Bat in Hong Kong and I miss her.

Bruce comes back, Tim is Vindicated, Jason escapes prison and rides off into the sunset with Sasha to go Cause Problems on Purpose. Dick steps down from Batman. Damian continues to be a murder baby and I love him.

And that's not nearly everything but close enough for fic writing purposes up until Flashpoint. I definitely missed things, so feel free to add on. I also again beg you - please stop putting Dick in the Blüd when Jason is still alive, it makes my blood pressure spike every time I see it. You're killing me guys. Pls.