#and also anxiety obvs lol

[tangledinink]

I'm concerned about your latest post, are you okay????

I'm okay!!! ^^; I'm not in any kind of danger or anything, I'm just having a bad day lol. I've had worse, though, and I will be fine.

[fingertipsmp3]

Okay I found this “sweater recipe” knitting pattern and why is it so stressful. “Cast on a number of stitches that looks like a decent neckline to you” my sister in Christ what do you mean???

[fissions-chips]

Jon is a wicked and mean criminal man, yes, but he is also someone who’s spiritually an angry, battle-scarred alley cat who maybe, once, knew what it was like to be cared for, but has lost that and now only knows survival of the fittest (or in his case, the fiercest). He runs or bites every hand that lifts to help him and eventually people stopped trying… but I want someone to pick him up and take him home, y’know?

Genuinely I have no good reason for wanting this to be the character that gets saved and cared for and shown scraps of kindness, but A. I just… really love the idea that people who have been turned cold and mean by life can slowly melt a bit with some love and care and B. The idea of someone taking a chance on someone like that and caring for them anyways, no matter how angry or snappish or pessimistic, just does something for my heart man idk.

[sickgraymeat]

Why do I have like I feel like I have rapid cycling cyclothymia but it’s REALLY rapid and my lows are too severe? Or like bipolar ii breaking out of its lithium shell but REALLY REALLY REALLY rapid cycling like too rapid??? Tag consensus (me talking to myself) it’s probably the (C & regular) PTSD lol

[hislittleraincloud]

When someone hates you for somethin stupid, remember that it’s not about you; it’s about them, and their fvckin opinion is not a reflection of your life…

Don't ever let some asshole convince you to hate yourself, Tor. Be happy 🤍

#thatanon🌚

#>>>

#notficwife

Ooo the MYSTERY of this Anon. YOU.

Are too sweet. 🥹💖✨

I wish I could be happy, but with my health probs, being dirt poor/organizing one 'meal' a day (if even, I tend to end up involuntarily fasting for a day), helping my old dogs when I know that they're on their way out (17 is pretty damn old for two dogs), and having the 'friends' I had all up and disappearing on me is a bit much. I get to ruminating on how all of my early work was lost/destroyed by the fucking building manager who continues to harass me to this day and my spirit just takes a dive. The really dark thoughts creep in, but I know I can't just off myself (I have enough drugs here to kill a Clydesdale) because of the furbabies. Bad enough that I wonder what'll happen to me if I did just check out. (Involuntarily, suddenly...like another friend I had in Texas who was around the same age I am. I messaged her with something, she posted on her FB about it, and then she fkn literally died right after (she was found by her roommate). She was a wild one, like me. 🕊️💔❤️‍🔥).

Yeah, I dunno what'll make me happy. I got my babies. And my writing. That's pretty much it. Maybe I should post a pic of the baby baby. She's my sunlight right now.

Whoops...right glasses, wrong puppy. 💩

They really do kinda look alike. 🫠✨

[steampunkedparm]

reading back through our first conversation vs now and. gods i was doomed from the start wasn't i

[nature-played-a-trick-on-me]

Urge to go on long walks (in the countryside or woods so In The Middle of Nowhere) vs fear of getting attacked

[rodrickheffley]

getting a job at my uni and like i have it basically but i have to go through this stupid second party thing to do references and its soo annoying

[genericpuff]

Life update! This is frankly one I've been trying to avoid but at this point it's kiiinda super necessary ┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴

DISCLAIMER: VERY LONG POST AHEAD. A LOT OF IT IS ME TALKING ABOUT LIFE SHIT OBV. I RAMBLE A LOT AS I TEND TO DO. I'VE BOLDED THE IMPORTANT SHIT SO THAT HOPEFULLY IT'LL MAKE IT EASIER TO PARSE THRU. PLS FORGIVE ME ;-;

------------------------

First things first, I quit my job! Or rather, I put in my resignation letter with my current shop, with two weeks notice. Not something I had to do, I just felt it was the least I could do to go out on decent terms (and it means I can honor the appointments I still have booked and use the time to notify all my clients).

There were several reasons for leaving but ultimately it was a personal decision that will - hopefully - allow me to build a better environment for myself within the larger tattooing industry. I've learned through too much trial and error with all the shops (of which there have been 3) I've worked in that I don't particularly enjoy working in one single shop under one single shop owner. It's often counter-intuitive with my ADHD and anxiety, and it's kind of hard to address my mental health problems when I'm still in an environment that exacerbates them.

Of course, this wasn't an "all or nothing" decision because I frankly wasn't giving up a whole lot by leaving. The tattooing industry has been going through some hard times, between The Great Depression 2: Electric Boogaloo and the oversaturation of shops that exist everywhere now (seriously, everyone and their mom nowadays is a tattoo artist). Not only is the industry changing and being forced to adapt, I too have to change and adapt, not just to maintain my place in this industry, but to align it more with what I need within it, rather than trying to force myself to align with what other people often project (and believe me, some of the people in this industry do a LOOOT of projecting, tattoo artists ruined the tattoo industry fr LOL)

So it's scary, but it's necessary. I'm still gonna be tattooing, but I'm doing it on my own terms now. Instead of locking myself down to a single shop environment waiting for the work to come to me, I'm going where the work is, through guest-spotting and expos and whatever other collaborative opportunities I can find, something that I was a lot more restricted in doing with single shop environments.

Also I'm just like, tired of being broke from not getting more consistent work and the shop splits cutting all my generated income in half LOL There's a reason so many artists - even established folks who have been tattooing for decades - are going private nowadays or opting instead for booth rent shops over the 50/50 splits. I could go on for ages about this but I'd rather spare you all the details because they frankly don't matter here and I don't want to dwell.

Buuut making this decision is, ultimately, to address both my exacerbated anxiety from working in a shop environment, and my financial issues from said environment not benefiting me. Especially now that-

-------------------------

-my roommate is moving out in April! I'm very excited but also very terrified. This will be the first time my husband and I have ever been able to live alone since we started living together some 6-7 years ago. Yeah. As much as I'm a social person, at home I'm a hermit and introvert, and I'm frankly just sick of people who I'm not romantically committed to constantly being around. Even when they're sweet people (which my roommate mostly is) it's still like living around a sinkhole. Sure, it's pretty simple to just walk around the sinkhole and place all your furniture around it and mind where it is at all times, but it sure would be nice if the sinkhole just wasn't there to begin with, y'know?

There are so many things I've been wanting to do and simply can't on account of living with a roommate, projects that I want to pursue, spaces that I want to create for both myself and others. Knowing that she's leaving in April has almost made me even more anxious and impatient, because now I'm actually thinking about all the things that will improve and become available to me just with one less person in the house and I'm DYING for it to finally be reality. I can finally have an actual dedicated workspace area that isn't just a corner of a small den, we can separate our leisure space from our work space, we can decorate the whole place how we want it, we don't have to worry about being intruded upon during our conversations, we'll have so much more counter space in the bathroom and kitchen, we don't have to pray that she's not in the bathroom every time we need to use it because that inevitably means we either have to wait an hour or go piss in the corner toilet shoved next to the washing machines, we can put the doors that originally separated the living room from the kitchen and hallway back up because she had removed them to make space for her 15437281 bookshelves. Much of what I'm describing isn't anything that was her 'fault', it was just the circumstances of living with a roommate which I'm just so excited for my husband and I to get away from.

But of course, her leaving means we now gotta make up for what she would normally cover in bills each month (the biggest of which is obviously rent). And with how dire the tattooing scene has become, leaving my shop to pursue other ventures - even if it costs me more time and money and energy on the forefront to do so - felt like a necessary change, because staying there certainly wasn't gonna accomplish anything, either. The shop kind of felt like a sinkhole in and of itself as well, a bottomless pit of unrewarded effort and stress, weighing down on my subconscious every day. While many of these feelings were largely personal, they weren't helped by the nature of that environment being what it was.

Part of my ongoing treatment for my ADHD is accepting and reminding myself that it is a disorder and that I need to allow myself to walk the path of least resistance, rather than force myself to conform to what I think I "should" be able to do out of the instilled belief that if I can't, I'm "failing". Rather, I need to actually build an environment for myself that doesn't work against me. It's not that I'm failing completely on my own, it's a failure of the systems and environments that I've forced myself to exist in for years. What I'm trying to do is going "against the norm", sure, but for someone with ADHD, going against the norm is necessary because the norm isn't built for me.

Going solo with my tattooing and freelance work might end up not panning out, but I won't know until I try, and for now, it sure beats the path of resistance that I've been drudging through with what's now amounted to very little. Going solo means my time is my time again, as is my work and rewards. As scary as it was to hand in that letter of resignation, I've removed myself from the path that was hindering me and set myself on another that promises, at the very least, change. Whether or not it ends up being beneficial or productive change, well, that's something I'll be finding out as I walk it. At least now I can walk it with my head held high and my hopes renewed.

---------------------

It goes without saying that this year has been a rough one so far, and we're only at the end of March. I'm sure most people can tell that I'm not really as "present" as I used to be, especially when it comes to the constant delays in Rekindled updates and lack of posting outside of that. I've been in a state of limbo, where everything and nothing is happening at the same time, waiting for the moment when I could finally make progress (and as I described above, much of that has been tied to my roommate finally leaving). With the move-out date right around the corner, and my resignation handed in, it feels like I can finally start removing things from my plate to make it more manageable, and rearranging everything to include the things I want rather than the tasteless, unfulfilling garbage I've been choking down.

But that leads me to one of the things that will be getting removed from that metaphorical plate.

------------------------

Anyone with ADHD and RSD knows that it's hard to be selfish, even when the situation calls for it. But sometimes you have to be, for the sake of establishing and respecting your own boundaries and care.

So, in a little act of selfishness for the sake of self-care: Episode 70 will be going up as soon as it's available, I'm hoping by next weekend at the latest. After that, Episode 71 will also be going out as soon as it's available, hopefully within 2-3 weeks time as has been needed over the past few months. This will hopefully line up with my resignation from my shop.

Following Episode 71, Rekindled will be taking a mid-season hiatus.

I know this kind of sucks considering all the delays we've already endured, but it's precisely because of those frequent delays as of late that a hiatus is sorely needed. It not only gives me time to rebuild a buffer of some kind, but largely to focus on cleaning up that aforementioned plate of bullshit that Gorgon Ramses himself would throw at a wall.

I'm aiming for the hiatus to last between 2-3 months. During this time, I'm hoping that I'll find enough stability in my real life to dedicate time and care to it again. The reality is that a free-time hobbyist project like this does require free time. And that free time is hard to justify when it's all the time on account of lack of consistent paid work. To put it simply, if I don't have a roof over my head, I can't keep doing what I do here. Rest assured, it's not that dire yet, but it would be if I stayed on the same path. Projects like these are at their best when they can just be done in one's free time, for fun, without the stress of mounting bills and other responsibilities piled on top. That pile's been getting pretty high for me lately and now even Rekindled hasn't been safe from it - while the art and story has continued to elevate itself with each new episode, the turnaround time has lengthened and the stress of Real Life™️ outside of it has affected my own enjoyment in making it.

I love making Rekindled. But if I want to keep loving it, I have to put it aside for a bit so I can cultivate a better environment in which to create it in. Ultimately the suffering and spite isn't what makes Rekindled great, it's joy and care. And neither of those things can be committed to it when everything else around me feels like it's been burned down.

I do still have my own doubts with this decision. Going on long-term hiatuses has always been difficult for me, largely when it comes to getting out of them (fans of my original work are all too familiar with this). But I know the circumstances here aren't the same, and that they won't repeat themselves if I don't allow them to. I have far better tools to combat burnout now than I did even just a year or two ago, but one of those tools is drawing boundaries and knowing when to step away.

-----------------

This was obviously a VERY long post and I realize with the Rekindled hiatus announcement near the ass end, a lot of people will surely be wondering where tf Episode 70 is LMAO but I'm sure I'll get asks in my inbox about it anyways that I can respond to, and when we actually go on mid-season hiatus, it'll be mentioned properly in the episode itself with a link to this post.

With my roommate moving out soon and my shop resignation now turned in, I feel like now I at least have the mental room to start breathing again, rather than gasping for air. And that will, in the long run, also allow me to create even more cool shit for both myself and all of you :> I do have plans, both for Rekindled after its hiatus and other projects (wink wink), that I now feel like I can start really getting off the ground with the shackles of my living situation and work environment finally loosening. And I do hope that, whenever those plans start to materialize, y'all enjoy what I have in store! It'll take some patience, and a lot of work, but it's work that I'm hoping will pay off in all the best ways ┬┴┬┴┤･ω･)ﾉ

Thank you all for your patience, kindness, and support. I know I've been saying this a lot lately with each episode delay, but I am really grateful to get to create what I do for you all. And I wanna keep doing it. I just can't do it without filling in that pesky sinkhole first (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

[theyluvlyss]

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐩𝐨𝐨𝐥 & 𝐖𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐲...

my head is all but consumed with thoughts only of wade wilson, logan howlett, and remy lebeau. they're all I can process in my head (besides shazam, but that's a given considering no one loves shazam the way I do, so🤷🏽‍♀️) and I y e a r n desperately for an influx in "wade x y/n x logan" fics and the "remy x y/n" fics... dare I even ask, humbly ofc, hear me out... for a splash of "wade x y/n x remy". genuinely, I'd kill for some of that ngl.

and I bet you're wondering, "lyssa, why not do it yourself🤔?"

short answer: I am swamped with requests, and even if I wasn't, I'm not ready yet lmao I fear I do not possess the skills to capture them in my writing perfectly😔 ... yet😈.

in the meantime, tho *😈evil little laughter😈* may I plz suggest the following prompts and pairings to and for anybody willing to work with them or wanting ideas (begging any writers that see this to please write these and tag me plz plz plz plz plz 😭��🏽😃plzplzplzplzplzplzplzpl-)...

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

⚠️trigger and content warning btw lol -

mentions of fighting/violence/bloodshed, death, gore, (like c'mon,,, bffr, look at who you're reading about😐🤨), anxiety/panic attacks, harsh words/themes/elements/physical injuries, abuse and/or negelct, separation anxiety, mental disorders, brief mention of sickness/illness, drugs (just 🍃 and painkillers), age gap (nothing illegal, chill out🤨✋🏽), use of a derogatory term (not used in a negative sense tho lol), and some semi-common smut themes that I won't list here, but be wary if that stuff makes you uncomfortable :)♡. also, these are all under the pretense that the reader is a cis girl, she/her/hers pronouns (so ig you could think of this as one, big, mass request to all writers willing from me lol🤭🥴🫶🏽).

𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭/𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭/𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 :

- reader having a panic/anxiety attack and ofc being comforted (causes my vary; maybe right after a fight/battle, or because of over-worrying or too much pressure, maybe after a fight with another loved one, etcetc). definitely wanna see this with all three of them, but separately, tho. like, one fic or list of "preferences/headcannons" for logan, one for wade, and then one for remy.

- near death or death (followed by resurrection swift after). it could be reader almost dies or dies (then gets resurrected, get creative with it/how, fr, yk?) or the reverse; the POI (person of interest) dies, although given two of the three's abilities, y'all might have to get creative if you want it to translate for logan and/or wade so this one would be mainly for a remy x reader.

- I personally love a good "POI says sumn mean/outta pocket, hurts reader's feels, stuff happens idk, but they eventually kiss and make up" trope. I'd eat that up, especially cuz OHHH,,,, wade taking a joke or playful argument or something too far? logan being a little too mean/angsty to you for comfort?? remy saying something that gets lost in translation, so it comes out harsher than intended??? 😫😫😫‼️‼️ AND IF YOU WANNA GET MESSY WIT IT, RUNNING TO ONE OF THE OTHER THREE FOR COMFORT🙈🙈⁉️⁉️⁉️.

- a classic; reader getting injured (mildly or worse, doesn't matter), needing to be taken care of, but is stubborn about it?? always a good one.

- getting a little crazy and silly here, but I like a good "abusive and/or negelctful ex/current partner" trope. like hell yeah, one of you big, strong men get over here and save me, whisk me away and show me what I really deserve😻‼️. NOT romanticizing/glorifying it obvs, like no, I mean that wade, logan, and/or remy would not be the red flags in this scenario, they're the one(s) doing the saving FROM the red flag ex/current partner lol.

- getting a little crazier and sillier with this one, but one where reader gets snatched up🙂? oouuuu, miss girl got kidnapped?! once again, somebody come save me, and if "somebody" is not wade, logan, and/or remy, then don't bother, I don't want it. matter of fact, just gon' on ahead and leave me, I'll figure it out myself🙂✌🏽. I think I'd want these separate, actually, bc I wanna take in the individuality of their reactions, like,,, logan going feral?? pretty predictable tbh lmao but still hot. remy?? idek ngl, y'all gon' have to figure him out. BUT WADE BEING SERIOUS AND NOT AS TALKATIVE FOR ONCE UNTIL HE KNOWS YOU'RE SAFE???? OOOHOOHOOOOOOO, GIMMIE🖐🏽👹🖐🏽✊🏽👹✊🏽!!!

- ig this could be put in the panic/anxiety attack category, but I also feel like this might be it's own separate thing, so idk, but... separation anxiety on reader's part. whatever the circumstances may be to breed it, reader is just (not in a unhealthy way) attached to the POI(s), so them leaving for whatever reason is pretty hard on her (and the POI(s), too, because hello, they don't wanna make their reader upset, but things gotta get done fr yk😫🥲),,, lots of reassurance, comforting, and maybe distractions ensue??

- reader with an alter ego/inner beast, whether that be a result of her powers or a mental disorder (think like,,, split personality or maybe DID or something like that, but I do wanna say, if you're gonna go the mental route, make sure you do your research so that you're representing it - not only accurately - but you're not dehumanizing or dumbing it down as well) or just anything that would cause the reader to, as I said, have a different side of themself,,, werewolf type deal, yk? "normal" for the most part, but then has her moments where she be on demon time and then when she's back to herself, she's just like "???" while everyone else is like "!!!". I suppose this could then be followed up/solved with a "the sun's getting real low" typa thing/moment from the POI(s), but that's neither here nor there, do what feels right fr♡.

- reader (just barely) escapes cassandra nova??? that could be cool (a.k.a. very, very angsty bc surely the encounter has messed the reader alllll the way up both mentally and physically, especially knowing what typa timing cass be on lmao😃). love a good hurt/comfort, I can't get enough, actually. this one (given the movie context) may or may not work with wolvie and/or pool (again, up to the writer to get creative), but gambit?? he's been in the void his whole life, he knows cass, sooo it'd make more sense for him to have a higher understanding of the situation in full, but do what y'all want, I'm just the idea woman🤷🏽‍♀️.

𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟 :

- morning cuddles and softeness and ughghfhfhdjd♡!!♡!♡!!♡!♡!!♡!! and then the opposite, night/bedtime cuddles and softness and uugjfjdkwkfke♡!!♡!♡!!♡!♡!!♡!!

- height difference teasings and shenanigans. we can always stick to the classics, ofc, short reader, tall wade, logan, and/or remy. maybe its an advantage in fights - fast, lethal, and small + big, shielding, and strong - but sucks in more domestic/calm cases like reaching for shit on the top shelf or wanting to kiss somebody. but I'd also love some tall gworl reader type shit, miss strong, lean, runway model energy, stepping on any heads and wooing any men that are in her path🥴😻. bending down with a smile so she can hear him, mindlessly playing with his hair, occasionally makes a quip here and there on the difference without thinking lol and he haaaaateeees all of it (but he looooveeeessss all of it🤭).

- reader being THAT GIRL, literally being in a 1v26 or sumn crazy like that and she's just kicking ass and shit the whole time, and then there's the POI(s),,, gawking and in love like "damn that's MY GIRL fr\😻/!!".

- *imagine a vine boom after every bolded word, okay, go* teen/minor/young PLATONIC NONSEXUAL NONROMANTIC (literally I can not stress this enough) NOT DATING AT ALL EVER reader and one/two/all of them. I think it'd just be silly seeing them (wade, logan, and or remy) working/paired with/having a bond with this little gremlin yet sweetheart of a reader who's somehow able to tolerate/put up with/ignore/maybe even indulge in their craziness lmfao. maybe just as or is even more crazy than they are, chaotic and desensitized type shit. you could even get ansgty with it, have this teen reader need saving or something like that, yk?

- sparring match and reader BEATS POI(s) in said spar cuz she's cool, awesome, and mega baller like that. lots of tension and goofiness, especially from the reader, cuz she knows damn well she's the shit. or, a different route!!... total dumb luck that she beat him/both/all of them, and is very obviously playing it off/acting like she won on purpose lmfao, cockiness ensuing.

- can't go wrong with a sick-fic lol. who doesn't wanna be taken care of?

- reader needs/wears glasses🤷🏽‍♀️. it can be the discovery of actually needing them, reader always squinting tryna read/see shit, or nearly getting herself in and out of danger bc again, she blind lmao. or it's just the case of reader never wears them out and about, but in calmer moments (where she doesn't run the risk of breaking them) she'll put them on, so she decides to bust 'em out one day and it's just the POI(s) being like ":O...😻😻!!".

- *olivia rodrigo voice* JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY, YEAA-aAAH😫😫‼️ ... reader who just,,, she don't play that shit, man, lmfao it's called you can prove yourself either friend or foe,,, stay tf away from my man or get your ass beat. pick one. and it's the POI(s) just absolutely flattered and amused with this energy from reader lmfao, reassurance ensuing quick after ofc. or, if you wanna get silly with it (and by silly, I mean violent♡), reader with a girl who can't take a hint😀 *eye twitch* so she finally makes shit clear one way or another (one way; does sumn with the POI(s) that makes the girl uncomfortable so she fucks off. another; reader pretty much beats that girl up and it's the POI(s) laughing but also trying to pry reader off of her cuz "stop it, I'm yours, I promise, you don't have to kill her, she didn't know any better😭!"). or just completely switch it up, vice versa, role-reversal POI(s) get jelly and it's reader having to deal with whatever may happen after/due to the fact lol.

𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 :

- shameless flirt reader!!!! she's not obnoxious or out of character/proper timing with it, but definitely a reader with helllllaaaaa rizz. is mainly on some "is somebody gonna match my freak?" type shi. wade would find it very silly and he'd match the freak ofc. logan,,, maybe he'd start off annoyed by it, then get used to it, only realizing you've actually grown on him once you start to pull back a little/stop completely? REMY WOULD LOVE AND BE AMUSED BY IT, so all I'm gonna say here is this: rabbits🐇🥰. iykyk♡.

- a smoke sesh leading to some good, old fashioned high/sleepy sex🥰. that's it, that's the prompt♡.

- lord, free me from my sins🙏🏽, plz don't judge me y'all😔 ,,, age gap😃? NOTHING CRAZY, CHILL, but yk, like,,, just a little young thing in her 20s or sumn being scooped up by one (or two🤭) of these older, more mature, aged like fine wine, and experienced men,,, that's all🥰.

- that moment when reader is a whore and is actually literally prancing around without a care in the world, fucking three different guys (wade, logan, and remy obvs) because "they're hot lol" - not necessarily behind their backs - but no one's saying anything or telling her no, nor does anyone seem to have any issues with it/are opposed, sooo😗🤷🏽‍♀️.

- do y'all think,,, because wolverine is yk...wolf-like-ish-whatever.... do y'all think that he,,,, that maybe he goes thru... a rut🙂?? lmfaoGDHAKXKPQPRR okay that's enough, that's enough🥴✋🏽-.

- you know how some smut has certain labels/themes/tags that are gonna be, yk,,, in said smut?? well, cuz I'm out of any specific ideas for smut, I'm just gonna leave some here, m'kaaaay, and whatever y'all wanna dooooo is up to youuuu, just as long as I get to seeee😗☺️🫶🏽~...

⚠️ also don't say I didn't warn y'all, I mean, there's literally a whole ass trigger warning at the top, so do not start fckn trippin' because you disagree with me or saw sumn you don't fw, cuz tbh, I don't care and you can honestly block me if it's that serious♡.

dom-sub, daddy/praise/breeding/spanking kink, knife/gun/blood play (and/or just mutant/power ability play in general hehehe), food/wax play, cnc (I don't suggest full blown non-con seeing as none of them seem the type to do such, no matter the circumstances, plus it's just not my thing personally but hey, I'm not currently writing for pool, wolvie, or gambit rn, so that's up to whoever is🤷🏽‍♀️), hunter-prey (y'all might see this and immediately think wolvie, which is understandable fr, but I beg y'all to get creative and let remy and/or wade hunt reader down, it can be done and done right, I promise, plz, I need it, 😫PLEASE!!-), friends with benefits,,, OHHH ENEMIES with benefits🫢🫢!!, overstim, jealousy/possessive/yandere, unprotected/creampie/oral ... that's all that comes to mind lmao wow what a crazy note to end this on, anyways-

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

yeah, so, do with all of this what you will (and plz spread this around, I genuinely do wanna see these get written and myself tagged like I am PINING for these fic ideas to be turned into reality😭🙏🏽), I just had to get my thoughts out before I forgot (at least in the fanfic department), because if someone were to ask me my thoughts on the movie itself !!!!! OMG I could run my mouth forever, but I don't wanna do that (lazy) so lmao for now, that's all lol byeeee~ /ᐠ-˕-マ!!

[sweetblinginrose]

𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒐𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒕,

(Jonathan Byers x PlayboyModel fem!reader)

summary: Jonathan's first job in California is not what his friend promised, being a little more... dirty.

word count: 3,3k

warning: +18 small age difference (Jonathan is of legal age), nudes, porn magazine, embarrassing erection, blowjob, cum on face.

a/n: well, like, what can i say about this? obv, i wasn't inspired by anyone. it just popped into my head while thinking about another fanfic. ig it's like a headcanon that Jonathan used to work as a nude photographer or something. idk, just enjoy, ig lol ;p

masterlist

━━ ✧♡✧ ━━ ✧♡✧ ━━ ✧♡✧ ━━

He was holding the letter with a mixture of hope and nervousness. The rough texture of the paper contrasted with the smoothness of his fingers, which caressed it almost unconsciously while his mind wandered between the possibilities that letter represented. It was more than just a piece of paper; it was the key to a future he longed for, a job in California that could change his life and that of his mother, Joyce, forever.

Money had always been a delicate subject at home. Joyce, with her job, managed to make ends meet, but always just barely. Jonathan wanted more than just survival; he wanted to live. That's why when Argyle, his long-haired friend with a scent of cheerful herbs, suggested that he apply to that photography agency, he didn't think twice. Argyle, who knew more about plants than people, had seen something in Jonathan, a creative spark that deserved to be explored and shared with the world.

The letter was from 'California Play-graphy', an agency unknown to the boy, with an incredible eagerness to know the answer it contained. Jonathan remembered Argyle's words: "Brother, your photos tell stories that words cannot. You have to show that to the world." And so, with a resume full of dreams and a letter that weighed more than gold, Jonathan found himself on the threshold of his future.

With a deep sigh, he broke the seal and unfolded the letter. The first words danced before his eyes: "Dear Jonathan, we are pleased to inform you...". A shout of joy escaped his lips, resonating in the small room, where Willy and Jane were also making a school project, and surely in the heart of Joyce, who eagerly awaited a package in the kitchen. Jonathan had landed a job, and with it, the promise of a fresh start.

The days leading up to Jonathan's first photo shoot at the agency passed slowly, each second filled with a mixture of anticipation and anxiety. As the appointed day approached, Jonathan's nerves intensified, and he found solace in the company of Argyle, his friend and mentor in the art of calm. Together, they sat on Argyle's old leather sofa, which creaked under their weight, sharing stories and laughter. In their hands, a joint, which they lit with the solemnity of a ritual. Smoke wafted in spirals, carrying away some of the tension Jonathan felt. Argyle, always the philosopher, told him, "Relax, brother. Photography is like this plant, you have to let it flow."

And so, with the background sound of Peter Tosh singing about freedom and struggle, Jonathan allowed himself to let go. The lyrics of "Legalize It" or "Equal Rights" filled the room, and for a moment, everything seemed possible. Argyle, with his street wisdom and heart of gold, reminded Jonathan that life was more than just worries and that every photo he would take would be a reflection of his soul.

When the day finally arrived, Jonathan rose with the dawn. The first rays of sun filtered through the window, bathing the room in a golden light that promised a new beginning. With his camera hanging from his shoulder and the rest of his equipment under his arm, and a nervous smile, he bid farewell to his brother and Jane. He stepped out, and there was Argyle, the one responsible for bringing him to the studios and bringing him back. They drove while Argyle smoked until they reached the giant buildings, causing the long-haired guy to take off his sunglasses and lazily look up with his red eyes, seeing a giant Playboy logo, but since he was so high, he didn't pay much attention.

When they finally arrived, Argyle got out and started looking around, completely taken by the desserts of half-naked women, giving Jon a friendly pat on the back and telling him, "Go and capture the magic, brother."

Jonathan entered the gigantic building, having to go through two checks by giant security guards, reaching his destination. The room Jonathan had found was the epitome of minimalist elegance. The walls, painted in immaculate white, reflected the artificial light emanating from the wide spotlights, creating a serene and almost ethereal atmosphere. There were no paintings or decorations; the beauty lay in the simplicity of the space.

In the center, an asymmetrical velvet sofa stood as the centerpiece of the room. Its modern and daring design invited contemplation as much as rest. The light gray velvet seemed to change with the light, adding depth and texture to the environment. Despite its luxurious appearance, the sofa promised comfort, with soft cushions that seemed to embrace the body. Next to it, on a low glass table, rested a transparent cube. Inside, a pile of bright red cherries, each one a little balloon of sweetness, awaited to be enjoyed. The simplicity of the cube contrasted with the richness of the cherries, creating an intriguing and tempting focal point.

To the right, a producer stood, his gaze fixed on you, the woman who would be Jonathan's model, quite beautiful. His posture was that of someone accustomed to making quick and precise decisions, and his presence commanded respect. By your side, you shone like a golden vision. Your long, flowing robe cascaded from your shoulders to the floor, the golden fabric capturing the light and making you sparkle with every movement. The elegance of your attire contrasted with the informality of the producer, but together, they formed a dynamic and complementary duo.

Jonathan knew that this room, with its atmosphere of calm and careful aesthetics, was the perfect place for his first photo shoot. Here, his art would come to life. Or so he thought.

The producer, with his refined air and delicate gestures, glided through the room with the grace of a dancer. His eyes lit up at the sight of Jonathan, and with a warm smile, he approached him. "Bonjour, mon cher Jonathan," he said with a French accent that enveloped each word like a hug. Their cheeks met in a traditional greeting, two gentle kisses, one on each cheek, that resonated with a resounding muah.

As he spoke, his hands floated in the air, drawing shapes that accompanied his words. "Your talent is magnifique, and we are très excited to work with you," he continued, mixing French with English in a way that seemed almost poetic. Jonathan, although surprised by the effusiveness of the greeting, couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable.

The producer, with his silk shirt and matching pocket square, was the embodiment of Parisian elegance, even thousands of kilometers away from France. "We are going to create art today, do you understand?" he declared confidently, guiding Jonathan to the set while continuing to give instructions, his voice a melodic murmur that promised an unforgettable session. "This work should be a dream come true for a jeune homme hétéro like you, no?" he laughed as he pointed at what Jonathan had to do. With his watch marking the rhythm of a busy day, he apologized with hurried elegance. "My apologies, I have an urgent matter to attend to," he said in his charming mix of French and English. With a gesture of his hand and one last approving glance at Jonathan, he slid out of the set, leaving behind a trace of his distinctive perfume and the promise of returning soon.

Jonathan and you, a few years older than him, with your golden robe, were left alone, surrounded by the pristine whiteness of the room. The absence of the producer filled the space with expectant silence. You turned to Jonathan, your eyes shining with a mixture of surprise and complicity in the unexpected situation. "I guess it's just you and me now," you said, with a smile that exuded confidence and grace. Jonathan nodded, feeling the weight of responsibility settle on his shoulders. However, your calmness and imposing presence gave him strength.

"We are going to make this session memorable," declared Jonathan, adjusting his camera with steady hands. You nodded and took your position on the set, your golden robe reflecting the light as if woven with threads from the same sun.

Jonathan began the session, with a sense of normality, although he sensed that something was not right. Suddenly, you raised a hand, requesting a pause. "The session is without the robe," you said in a soft but firm voice, quite seductive. Jonathan stopped, a little surprised, but nodded in understanding, thinking that you would be wearing an outfit underneath. You gracefully slid out of the golden robe, revealing your fully exposed chest, as well as your entire torso, wearing only a transparent thread-like fabric that 'covered' your intimate area, if that can be called covering.

In the warmth of the light emanating from the spotlights, your bronzed skin and your generous breasts merged into an illuminated tone, with no trace of bikini lines to disrupt the harmony of your smooth and sinuous skin. Every curve of your body was carefully sculpted, leaving no room for imperfections. The absence of hair left your skin impeccable, highlighting its smoothness. Your generously sized breasts stood proudly, crowned by pink nipples that contrasted perfectly with the tone of your lips. Jonathan, captivated by the vision of this goddess in front of him, could barely tear his gaze away from your abdomen, slowly descending until it met the tiny thread-like thong that barely covered the essentials. Without showing any hint of discomfort, you approached Jonathan with overwhelming confidence, asking him if he was truly prepared for the photo shoot.

Without waiting for a response, you reclined on the sofa, unleashing a wave of anticipation in the photographer. Every movement you made was calculated, every pose was a game of seduction meant to ignite the viewer's imagination. Your breasts, as they moved gracefully, seemed to whisper secrets to the wind, tempting the camera to capture your provocative essence.

Jonathan's tent, unable to contain his growing excitement, began to rise, oblivious to his will. Desperately seeking a way to hide his agitation, he crouched slightly, justifying the gesture as an attempt to improve the angle of the shot. In that moment, amidst the visual ecstasy, he was lost, unsure of what to do to conceal his growing desire.

His choice, palpable against his thighs, was a blazing reminder of his desperate need. The absence of female companionship for so long had heightened his desire, leaving him in a state of almost uncontrollable excitement. Jonathan's labored breathing did not go unnoticed by you, your attentive gaze, who, concerned about his sudden distress, placed a soft and elegantly manicured hand on his shoulder. The slight brush of your hand against his skin sent waves of electric sensations through Jon, moistening his underwear slightly with the pre-cum escaping from the tip of his sensitive bulge. The slight friction against his underwear only intensified his ecstasy, plunging him into a state of overwhelming pleasure.

From your point of view, Jonathan seemed on the verge of fainting, a concern that soon became a reality as the boy lost consciousness due to overexcitement. Skillfully, you held him as best you could and placed him on the sofa, watching him with concern as you considered your options. The idea of seeking medical help crossed your mind, but before you could act, something caught your attention. As you stooped to pick up a fallen object, you inadvertently exposed your buttocks and inner thighs close to the photographer's face. A nervous cough escaped from the boy's lips as he pretended to be asleep, trying to hide his growing excitement. However, once again, his tent gave him away before your eyes, who now faced an uncomfortable and tense situation.

After the awkward moment, you chose to act as if nothing had happened, aware that these situations were quite common in your profession. You decided to give Jonathan a few minutes to calm down, although you noticed that this boy was different: shy, charming, and respectful, as he made no comments about your body, which you quite liked.

After some time, you returned to face the camera, but this time the session took an unexpected turn. You incorporated cherries into your poses, strategically placing them on your nipples, causing the pink juice to seductively slide down your skin. With sensual movements, you bit the cherries and slid them over your abdomen, even above your intimate area. For Jonathan, this was completely different from what he had imagined photographing, but at the same time, it was exciting and fascinating. You, without averting your gaze from the camera, began to lightly touch yourself with the cherries, asking Jonathan if the image looked good. Unable to articulate a coherent response, Jonathan simply nodded with a "uhu" between his slightly parted lips, completely absorbed in the tempting vision before him.

Jonathan's excitement drove him to want to explore further, so he proposed to you to strike more provocative poses he had seen in old magazines. You readily accepted, but it soon became clear that you did not understand Jonathan's instructions, leading you to ask for help. With some hesitation, Jonathan approached you and asked permission to touch you, eliciting a playful giggle from you. No one had been so considerate with you before. With delicate, long hands, Jonathan positioned himself between your thighs, gently parting them to leave you fully exposed. With his other arm, he tilted your torso slightly towards the sofa, causing your buttocks to inadvertently brush against his erection, which was now vigorous again. You made no comment, as you were not at all displeased with the size, on the contrary, you began to find it attractive, especially now that it was positioned this way for the photos.

Jonathan lamented with great embarrassment, moving away from you.

He was preparing to take the photo when you removed the scant fabric covering your intimacy, leaving it completely exposed in front of Jon, who felt all the tension in his body melt away. The intimacy shared in that moment created a special bond between you, a connection that went beyond the photo shoot.

Confused but intrigued by your proposal, Byers asked you what you were doing. With a mischievous look and a suggestive smile, you responded that you wanted to experiment even more and find out if Jonathan was really the best. This statement ignited a spark in Jonathan, who let the camera rest on his neck and approached you, his palpable excitement filling the air. "What do you mean?" he murmured.

Your response unleashed a wave of desire in Jonathan, whose breathing became faster and shallower at your passionate touch on his tight and erect jeans. His hips instinctively moved closer to you, eager for the intimate contact you offered.

Far from rejecting him, you responded to Jonathan's desire with equal passion, touching and kissing every inch of the fabric covering his manhood. However, a question lingered in your mind: Was Jonathan just another virgin?

Without wasting time, you began to caress Jonathan's thighs, ascending from his knees to underneath them, causing an overwhelming sensation in Jonathan, who was on the verge of exploding.

With deliberate slowness, you proceeded to unfasten Jonathan's worn-out belt, while licking your lips with anticipation and watching him from below, enjoying the expression of desperation on his face, craving more of your expertise.

Finally, Jonathan's pants fell to the ground, revealing boxers stained by the pre-cum escaping from his overflowing excitement. The feeling of constriction around his member was evident, so you didn't hesitate to lower them, freeing Jonathan's thick cock.

Jonathan couldn't believe it. He was going to be sucked by a girl with a scandalous body.

His cock was firm and throbbing, generously sized, and adorned with prominent veins that marked its vigor. The head was swollen and glossy, dripping with the essence of his uncontrollable desire. With each beat, it seemed to throb with a life of its own, eager to be caressed and adored by the goddess before it. Some spasms caused the cock to rise slightly.

With a lustful gaze, you leaned forward, bringing your face closer to Jonathan's thick cock. Your breath became irregular, anticipating the taste and texture of the throbbing member that was about to be explored. With deliberate movements, you wrapped your lips around the swollen tip of Jonathan's cock, savoring the prelude to his excitement. The sensation of warmth and moisture enveloped every inch of his member, sending waves of pleasure throughout his body.

With expert skill, you began to slide your tongue along Jonathan's long shaft, tracing tempting circles as you slowly descended towards the base. Each suction was a promise of ecstasy, each movement of your lips an invitation to deeper pleasure. Jonathan clung to the sofa, overwhelmed by the intensity of the sensations that engulfed him.

When Jonathan's cock disappeared completely into the warm cavern of your mouth, a guttural groan escaped from his lips, lost in the ecstasy of the moment. Your movements were expert and coordinated, alternating between gentle sucking and quick thrusts that made Jonathan quiver with pleasure.

Time seemed to stand still as you continued your work, bringing Jonathan to the edge of the abyss of pleasure. Each stroke of your tongue, each passionate suction, brought him closer and closer to the precipice of orgasm.

And then, just as Jonathan felt he could no longer hold back, you intensified your movements, bringing him to the most glorious climax. With a muffled cry, Jonathan surrendered to the wave of pleasure that overwhelmed him, releasing his load of ecstasy into your mouth, gripping your head tightly, restricting your movement. In that moment, he didn't think about Nancy or any other model, only about you.

With skill, you received every drop of his cum with devotion, allowing Jonathan's essence to slide over your tongue and fill your mouth with its intoxicating flavor. But when it seemed to be all done, Jonathan shot another stream onto your face, causing a mischievous smile from you, thinking that it would be the perfect moment to take a photo, finding yourself damn sexy.

And when Jonathan finally finished, you moved away slowly, allowing your gaze to meet his, your faces bathed in the And when Jonathan finally finished, you moved away slowly, allowing your gaze to meet his, your faces bathed in the shared ecstasy of a moment of unbridled passion.

"You've got a good cock, photographer," you whispered, giving him a spank, winking at him, and wiping your face with your golden robe, leaving it covered in traces of that hot liquid.

—> Plus.

"Brother, look at the cover of the new PlayBoy!" exclaimed Argyle, entering his van and throwing a magazine at Jonathan, surprising him. "I just stole it from the gas station attendant while he was peeing, so we should go now..."

On the cover, your lustful eyes stared directly at the camera, while the liquid rested on your face, causing a familiar sensation in Jonathan's pants.

"I should have asked for her number before I got kicked out for fucking the model," Jonathan thought, sighing and throwing the magazine back. The page opened to a photo taken by him, where he played with the cherries and they dripped on your nipples.

[libraryleopard]

things about carmy that make me think this:

said he did badly in high school because he could never focus

but also he can really intensely fixate on certain things

and also sometimes intensely focuses on something while ignoring other things that should be his priority (like in s1 when he pays a lot of attention to the beef's menu instead of the financial issues, i.e. nat having to come remind him in person to find the payroll history so her house won't be repossessed by the irs)

infodumps (about food, like the scene where's explaining the plum dish in great detail)

grew up constantly feeling like he struggled in social situations compared to others (especially mikey)

really into having specific routines and emphasizes this is something he likes about kitchen work

fidgety (constantly carrying around/playing with a spoon in season 1 even when he's not actually using it)

seems kind of uncomfortable in social situations like parties where he doesn't have a script to follow

i feel like. carmy berzatto has undiagnosed adhd and autism

[ectogeo-rebubbles]

fanfic end of year asks!

a fic you didn’t expect to write

something you learned this year

fic(s) you completed this year

fics you’ll continue next year

Thanks for the ask! ^_^ (For this ask game.)

14. a fic you didn’t expect to write

speech is silver, silence is golden, lmao. I really truly did not expect to write Garak/Morn smut. But when my friend requested it, I knew exactly how to write it lol. <3

15. something you learned this year

I may have already learned this, but exchanges with delayed fic reveals and then author reveals a week or so after that are BRUTAL on me, and I may (or may not) just avoid them from now on hahaha. The usual fic-posting waiting-for-comments anxiety but drawn out over a muuuuuch longer time period (finish the fic before the deadline to submit, wait a million years for it to even get revealed anonymously, then wait another whole week before I can even link to it on my blog...).

16. fic(s) you completed this year

27 fics finished this year!! Wooooo! (...And I may update this post later if I post any more hehe.)

completed fics posted:

the looking-glass war (Past Prologue Sisko POV, background Garashir)

and if you don't love me now, you will never love me again (Garashir, Broken Link getting together fic)

lockstitch (Sloanshir, embroidery as torture, sometime post-IAESL)

partners in crime (Siskarak, post-ITPM smut)

kiss me hard before you go (Garashir, Extreme Measures getting together fic)

Unlikely Weapon (Garashir, Julian killing Sloan = Garashir getting together scenario lol)

a contract is a contract is a contract (Quark/Brunt smut set during Body Parts)

me and the devil walking side by side (Siskarak smut about devotion and corruption and recognition of the self in the other and all that good stuff)

you're a criminal as long as you're mine (Siskarak smut set during Second Skin, about crossing and setting boundaries, and the homoerotic relationship between a weapon and its wielder)

speech is silver, silence is golden (Garak/Morn smut with pre-Garashir feels. Garak obvs gags Morn during the sex lol.)

every breath you take (Sloan records Garashir having sex)

going up, going down (cracky Siskarak smut, blowjob in the turbolift during ITPM)

A Professional Interest (augmentphobic Sloan interrogates Julian)

Deserted (Garashir stranded on a desert planet)

touch (Garashir IPS/BIL missing scene multichapter fic)

fics for events/exchanges that had restricted word counts (250 words or 300 words):

gaslight gatekeep girlboss (Kira/Winn and Kira/Ziyal, exactly what the title says lol)

the pros and cons of being possessed (Kira/Keiko, argument about what happened to Kira in The Reckoning and what happened to Keiko in The Assignment)

feels so right (Jadzia/Kira, Kira's fun way of coping with her internalized homophobia)

both lips on the mirror (Intendant/Kira, mirror Kira is obsessed with her counterpart)

not unfaithful but I'll stray (Kirawinn, Strange Bedfellows)

chirality (Intendant/Kira smut, Crossover)

drabbles (100 words):

lying down with dogs (Siskarak smut)

i think we're alone now (Garashir, IPS/BIL cuddles)

The Descent (quodo, The Ascent smut)

never loved nobody fully (Disko, two alternate versions provided depending on which Cardassian you want Sisko to actually be into lol. also some amazing people made a podfic of this, which is just so cool!!!)

The Mole (Sloan vs Kukalaka >:3)

sunshine bouquet (Garashir fluff, DBIP)

aaaaand, not fics, but while I'm rounding everything up, here's links to the two amvs I finished this year too:

Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls - Garashir (tumblr, youtube)

meet me in the pale moonlight by Lola Violet (tumblr, youtube)

17. fics you’ll continue next year

Sleep Awake is my only partially posted wip, but I have many unposted wip documents that I intend to post next year (or whenever I finish them)! These include wips with document titles such as: siskarak strip poker, Sub Rosa sloanshir, soulmate sloanshir, aphrodisiac sloanshir, Inquisition in the Abscess 'verse, julian jealous of imagined siskarak, and garak jealous of imagined sloanshir. :) (P.S. - Anyone can always feel free to ask me about any of those and I will immediately go write/edit at least a sentence on it. Trick me into making incremental progress on my shit, please!)

[deletenrun]

This might be a hot take but i can't hold it anymore guys, i have something negative (kinda) to say and i mean this in such a lighthearted way, i loveeee this game and the devs after all... And i also love Leander like most of the touchstarved fanbase okay 😭 even though his fucked up aura and good person facade delights me, i would like to know about other characters, or would like to see them more in posts.

We know too much and too little (yeah at the same time lol) about Leander but how about the other characters... I mean the side characters, dlc love interests, npcs...

If i'm not wrong (i want to be wrong this time) bc of the hype, they changed his route the most in the demo. If they think the changes were necessary then i can't judge them as we don't know what's gonna happen next, still i would really prefer if the devs could do whatever they want other than shape his personality around what we "headcanon" him as right now.

After all, it's their story and characters. If that's not the situation than it is all good. Otherwise, pls do it your way guys. We already know that the game is gonna be good asf.

They are busy with the development of the game and other things too but i want to interact with them more 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 maybe they could answer some asks about the world setting, the routes or the characters without spoiling if they don't feel like it. Or every few months (without a strict schedule or date obv, just whenever they are all available at the same time) a live q&a or just a small chat with them would be sooo nice. I feel greedy and selfish asking for it though. It's really complicated like we as fans always want more but the devs are also people like us with families, friends and responsibilities...

Yeah, that was simply my thoughts about the current situation, posts and things in general. Let me know what you think, do i ask for too much or is there something you want to add too?

I'm shy and social anxiety still haunts my ass but i always appreciate the comments, reposts, feedbacks or any kind of interaction!

[tracys-slumber-party]

HI HELLO IM FINALLY MAKING AN INTRO POST!!

im tracy!! (is it tracy or tracey? idk. its not my actual name i dont think it matters)

im 20, he/they, and BOY HOWDY am i autistic. my BIGGEST special interest that most of my blog is about is eddsworld, obvs. ive been in the fandom since around like, god, mid 2015? but im only like, NOW indulging

BTW I HAVE!! REALLY BAD ANXIETY SO IF I SEEM DISINTERESTED OR FLAT... TRUST! ITS NOT YOU! IM JUST A #LOSER

i mainly focus on classic eddsworld, so like 2004-2011. i dont care for legacy much and while beyond makes me giggle theres not much There for me to do with yet..

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REQUESTS AND ASKS R OPEN!! ask me abt ANYTHING i am a CHATTERBOX i just gotta be nudged into an infodump LOL

my main au is called awfully stupid, so if you wanna ask about my au, call it either that (AW![BLANK]) or just.. tracy![BLANK] both will get the point across LOL. again, im a CHATTERBOX, so if you want to ask me about my ocs, be it eddsworld or my completely original ones, GO FOR IT! cant imagine a single thing i WOULDNT wanna answer abt them LOL

4 requests: ill do pretty much anything! my main ships r eddmatt and tomtord so you'll have more of a chance of me pickin it up if theyre that.

i do not do tordedd, paultord, or tordpat. if your request makes me uncomfortable in any way, i have every right to not accept it

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for my dni and boundaries, its pretty much just basic dni material.

if you ship anything incestuous, pedophilic, or anything else in that realm of fucked-up-ness, i do NOT want you near me. if you interact with me regardless of being aware of this, i WILL be mean about it im #NOTPLAYINGAROUND. pro-ana/pro-ed accounts are also NOT welcome. same rules for proshitters goes for yall.

do not glaze edd gould in my presence.

while i dont care for eddtord/paultord/tordpat, if you ship them you ARE allowed to interact. i have the tags muted so it shouldn't be an issue LOL. just please do not tag my art as any of them

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you can find me on other platforms!

tiktok: mattlver69

pinterest: tracysslumberparty

deviantart: furtadoe (good for if you wanna browse my art in an organized manner!)

insta: fartkiss.dinglebop

bluesky: fartkiss.bsky.social

and my sideblog, @fartkissdinglebop

[genericpuff]

AND THEN THIS MALFUNCTIONING BITCH GOT MEDICATED

got me that concerta babyyy! I'm really hoping it helps at least take the edge off, my ADHD has been particularly rough these past several months, there are a lot of bees in my head and I'm hoping this will help them chill out a bit LOL (or at least put them to good work so they aren't running into each other in there!) The only thing I'm a bit concerned about is my blood pressure, I had to send it into the physician because obv this is a stimulant and we want to make sure it doesn't make my heart explode LMAO I do unfortunately have naturally high blood pressure, this is due to a combination of genetics, diet/lifestyle and the physical toll my unmanaged mental health has taken on me. BUT she mentioned that the medication should help with the anxiety and semi-constant state of fight or flight that I'm in (which definitely isn't helping my blood pressure LOL), and also considering I can't drink coffee on this stuff it should hopefully balance itself out (though the medication being a stimulant means I should hopefully see a decrease in caffeine dependency anyways as I was basically using caffeine to self-medicate). I'm starting with 18mg for a week and then switching to the 27mg! After that I have another follow-up appointment to check up on how I'm doing, and, if all goes well, continue my prescription!

I will still have to make some lifestyle changes, but as I mentioned to my physician, those changes will hopefully be a lot easier to make with the medication managing my executive dysfunction (at least that's what it'll hopefully do). I've always found it really difficult to maintain good habits with my brain because, duh, ADHD! The executive dysfunction really does make a mountain out of the simplest efforts on a daily basis, so I'm really hoping this will help me focus on getting on a regular schedule again where I can make time for my health. If this fixes my issues with sleep, I'll actually cry.

Assuming my physician doesn't email me back with a "do not take, you will explode" by the end of the day, I'll be starting it tomorrow! I'm terrified but excited! Wish me luck y'all! (•̀ᴗ•́)و