#and again I am Jewish so I’m allowed to make my jokes

[gothamite-rambler]

Batfamily Mitzvah

Context: I learned about Bruce is canon Jewish because his mother was and this is if Kate dragged Bruce to a family bar mitzvah.

Kate is reading a People magazine.

Kate: Bruce, do you know Linda?

Bruce (sorting through paperwork): The crazy family member? That doesn’t narrow it down, does it?

Kate: Not really. She’s our third cousin, but she goes by Aunt Linda. She’s the one who hit her husband with her car, and when he survived, they stayed together.

Bruce: That Linda... I’ve always hated her. I remember she used to insult my mom for not marrying the right man.

Kate: That's the one. We all hate her at this point. Anyways her son's son—

Bruce (correcting tone): Her grandson?

Kate rolled her eyes.

Kate: Yes, smartass. They’re throwing him a bat mitzvah in a few weeks, and they invited me. You’re coming.

Bruce: I’m busy that day.

Kate: I haven’t told you when it is.

Bruce: My schedule is full when it comes to visiting 'Aunt' Linda and her insane family.

Kate: My bad, cuzzo. You misunderstood. That wasn’t an invitation; it was a command. I’m not going alone.

Bruce: Why not?

Kate (looking up from her magazine): I’m a lesbian, and they’re very religious. Linda will be there and has made it very clear that “Oh, it’s just a phase, darling. You’ll find the right man!”

Bruce: Why am I coming, though? I don’t like her, and I don’t want to hear her voice again.

Kate: I’m bringing you so she can ask why you’ve adopted those kids and aren’t married yet, how one of them died and then came back to life, why you’re dating a former bank robber, and why you only have one biological son. Tsk, tsk, naughty, naughty, naughty. I told her some things about you in the group chat, and she’s already asked a lot of evasive questions... about you. Make sure you have a good suit; that’s basically all you wear.

Bruce: Oh, okay... I have no say in the matter. Got it. Fine.

Kate (dryly): There’s the master detective you pride yourself on being.

Bruce (already regretting this): What time are we supposed to be there?

Kate: We have to be at the synagogue early in the morning because it’s on a Sunday—you are going into the synagogue; I don’t want to hear it.

Bruce groaned, rubbing his temples. He never seemed to get along with churches, but he knew he had no say in the matter when it came to Kate and her persistence.

Kate: After that, the party is at three. I hate talking to so many of them; we can sneak off, have a drink, whatever you want to do, and show back up at four. Are you bringing the kids?

Bruce (sarcastically): Was that a question I'm allowed to answer? Thank you so much for allowing me to respond.

Kate: I can be nice like that.

Bruce (aggravated): No, they’re not going. I don’t even want to bring Damian. They wouldn’t like that side of the family.

Kate: Hmm, I never asked—are you practicing Judaism?

Bruce: Nope.

Kate: Why? Aunt Martha was Jewish; by extension, you’re Jewish.

Bruce: That’s not true.

Kate: You’ve studied numerous forms of fighting, weapons, and even opera, but you don’t know that if your mother is Jewish, you’re Jewish, too? Damian, however, is ethnically Jewish. Your dad doesn’t factor in... were you unaware?

Bruce glares at Kate, refusing to answer.

Kate: Oh my goodness! Yes, I knew something you didn’t know!

Bruce (rubbing his forehead): Yup, I’ll give you that. But for your information, I was never raised with a Jewish upbringing.

Kate: Seriously, I thought they’d do something—

Bruce: They died when I was eight in an alley. You lose the spirit of anything when that happens!

Kate (sighing): You use that excuse too much.

Bruce: My parents died!

Kate (silent for a second): My sister is clinically insane, and one of your sons shook hands with God. It’s not a competition.

Bruce: The way Jason tells it, he met Satan for some time.

Kate: He’s joking; were you unaware of that as well?

Bruce refused to respond, pretending to read a document on his desk.

Kate (laughing): Are they aware you’re Jewish?

Bruce: Yes, but again, I’m not practicing. So it’s like... yes, but no.

Kate: Oh, so me. Cool.

Kate returned to reading, while Bruce looked over a case about Scarecrow.

Bruce (desperate): Can I pay you—

Kate (firmly): You’re going to this party; money won’t change that.

Bruce (half-sarcastically): I just love these special moments we share.

Kate: Aww, same here, cuzzo.

Batfamily mitzvah -> pt 2

[thegreenmeridian]

I turn up last night at the Chabad rabbi’s house. There’s security cameras everywhere, Securitas stickers in the window. I wonder if they’ve ever had to press their panic button.

As I’m waiting for someone to come to the door, another guest arrives. He’s about my age, upsettingly handsome, and Israeli. I tell him it’s my first ever Shabbat, and he says he’ll talk me through everything as we go along.

The rabbi’s wife has me braiding challah alongside her 10 year old daughter and the Israeli. I think about how many generations back it was that someone from my family did this.

More people arrive. A tourist couple, a middle aged husband and wife from America. We chat about where they’ve been so far and joke about how bad Olafsvík smells because of the dried fish factory there.

Next is some young Haredi guys. I wonder how walking around Iceland dressed as they dress has been for them, if anyone has harassed them. We chat about where we’ve been in the world and why they came to Iceland (they’re in yeshiva in New York, they saw cheap flights on an Icelandic budget airline and thought why the hell not).

More people trickle in. Some American students, freshly graduated (did they get screamed at by their peers? Were they allowed to move freely around campus?).

A Ukrainian refugee, her family’s from the same area as the American guy’s family. His grandma was the only survivor of a pogrom, hers one of the only survivors of the holocaust.

Then the rabbi comes, and the Israeli guy hands me a siddur and in a low voice explains to me what to do, what to read. Says it’s no pressure, Chabad prayers can be quite a lot. I’m standing to one side because I feel like I’m not allowed to be fully involved, new to this as I am, but one of rabbi’s kids is running around so we move into the group that’s gathered around the little alter (it bothers me that I don’t know the name of this, or the words everyone else is singing and chanting and mumbling). I feel something land on the back of my head - as he’s rocking and praying, the rabbi has grabbed a kippah from the pile on the table and plopped it on my head.

Prayers end, I still have no idea what was going on but I felt something all the same. We sit to eat, and I’m next to the Israeli, who’s next to the rabbi. As the rabbi says prayers in Hebrew, his wife opposite me explains quietly what’s going on. When it comes time to wash our hands, she teaches me how to say the blessing.

The food is amazing. Hummus and tagine and soup and all sorts of other bits and pieces. The challah I braided is soft and fluffy, and even tastier when it’s soaked up a little of the baba ganoush and olive oil on my plate. I think about how if I tell my friends what sort of dishes were served here, the words “cultural appropriation” might come up.

I talk to everyone at some point or another. The Israeli guy is here working in the tourist industry, the rabbi’s wife has British family and grew up in a Nordic country. The American guy is a doctor at a teaching hospital near a campus, he’s had people picket his hospital.

The graduate women are laughing at Iceland having a TGI Fridays in between casually talking about other students throwing things at them.

At one point, some asks me what my first Shabbat has been like for me, and I say it feels like coming home. The Israeli puts his arm around me and says “welcome back, brother”. The Haredi guys tell me that a Jewish life is a joyous life.

I take off my new kippah and put it in my pocket when I leave.

And then today. I arrive for morning prayers, I meet new people, the rabbi’s toddler son clings to my leg as his wife makes me a coffee while explaining how that’s done on Shabbat. Her grandma converted at 18, her grandfather was a secular son of survivors who became religious again after meeting her. She told a story last night about her grandfather, an elderly and highly esteemed professor of history who refuses to retire, having someone get up in his face while he was getting the bus home and pointing their phone camera at his face.

The Israeli guy had to head back to where he lives (also out in the country, not far from me by Icelandic standards) so he’s not here today, but there’s my Haredi friends from last night, as well as some new people. An American who’s been here since the 80s, a European guy (Spanish, I think I heard him say, and I wonder if my possibly Sephardic family and his may have known each other half a millennia ago), and all of the rabbi’s kids are awake. They’d flown in from Sweden yesterday morning so most of them were asleep.

There’s prayers again, I don’t know what’s being said, I am only vaguely following along in the Siddur. Most of the men rock and sway as they pray, I’m aware of this being a thing Jews do but not why. I add it to my ever growing mental list of things to look up later. I feel my body want to join in, but I feel like I’m not allowed.

The Torah portion this week is from Leviticus, and I have a moment of being uncomfortably aware of who I am as the rabbi, albeit briefly, touches on the bit about unnatural relationships. He shook my hand, I’m included in the prayers, so they see me as a man. I’m certain they don’t know what sort of man I am. That’s a conflict with myself and this culture and religion that I’m gonna have to deal with eventually, but not now. Now, I push it aside and listen to the discussion on our obligations to each other as people, and how Torah law is similar to and differs from general Western law. I listen to the doctor talk about performing CPR on someone who he saw collapse. I wasn’t raised Christian but I still expect the words “Good Samaritan” to come up. I’m not sure how that makes me feel.

And then, more food. More food, more discussions, more people coming in. Another American who lives local, a couple I don’t get the chance to speak to, but I think at least one of them has an Icelandic accent. The rabbi’s wife points me out to people and tells them where I live. My kippah slides from my shaved head as I turn to talk to someone else, it would be embarrassing if I hadn’t seen someone else’s fall off not that long ago.

People filter out, and a group of tourists arrive. IDF guys on leave, they’ve just finished the ring road tour. We drink a toast with them. One of the Haredi guys has a young cousin who just got called up, one of the Americans has a nephew who was serving on the border when the pogrom happened. One of the Israeli guys asks me what bars I recommend in Reykjavik.

I leave when the Haredi guys do. The one I spoke to the most promised to come visit when he next comes to Iceland (it was a short trip, he wants to see more) and I wonder if he remembers me saying how there’s a guy in my town with from-the-river-to-the-sea painted on his van. The other Haredi guy says he’ll look me up on Facebook, and says he’s glad I got to see how good being Jewish can be.

I get halfway back to the bus stop before I remember to put my kippah in my pocket.

[majaloveschris]

And another thing I want to say, or rather, warn y'all in all sincerity, is that this hate situation against Alba may be affecting Chris more than y'all can imagine/::

So, once again this needs to be fucking said. Calling her out and her friends on their disgusting behavior and actions isn’t hateful. Holding her account for being a horrible fucking person isn’t hateful. Calling her out for using a fucking traumatic event like kidnapping making basically a joke of people who have actually gone through that isn’t hateful.

You think us bringing to light what an absolutely disgusting and vile person she is, all based off of things we can show she lied about or participated in is hateful and that because we are defending ourselves against the things she’s done wears him down but not her being a lying racist and supporter of antisemitism and fatphobia. He’s more worried about us talking about the issue than the person who caused the issue?

I’m so fucking sick of having to say this. She is racist, she and her friends made fun of my race, other races, and Jewish people. Calling that out and making sure people know exactly who she is and what’s she done, that isn’t hateful. That’s doing the right fucking thing.

I have a right to talk about this and how it affects me and my race. I have a right to call her out and make sure people see her for exactly who she is and what she actually believes. I have the right to talk about the things people like her do to people like me.

Stop saying she’s a victim. Stop saying she’s being bullied. Stop fucking saying she is being hated on for no reason. When you say shit like that, you invalidate the experiences of the people who live with this hate daily.

I am Korean. I am allowed to discuss her cultural appropriation and her racism, same with her friends. You sit here and use astrology to defend a vile human who lies to garner attention and sympathy. You’re part of the problem and you don’t even see it because of the privilege you have. Guess what? I don’t fucking get that privilege. Everyday is something new, everyday is another day I’m made fun of or fetishized for my race.

Lastly: if he is more worried about her being held accountable than he is about why she’s being held accountable, then he deserves any bad and negative consequences he will receive. Stop speaking over the voices of the people who actually have to live this shit

Agree! And I'm sorry you have to go through this every single day. People who aren't in this situation can't even imagine how this feels, and it's so sad that people don't see why their behavior is problematic. 

Chris will never defend her. And I also don't understand where people get the idea that it has an effect on him. I think he has his own problems. 

[chloeworships]

Tampa Bay?? 🏴‍☠️

👀

People can joke and laugh all they want but remember they laughed at Noah when he was building the Ark.

There are people who do not believe in God but honey they will eventually know that he Is-real 🇮🇱

Nations with excellent leaders will be prepared… or should be.

The LORD strategically placed Joseph to later help Pharaoh and by extension his father Jacob and the Egyptians. He also strategically placed Esther to save her own race…the Jewish people.

Many of us aren’t where we want to be but we are where God wants us to be RIGHT NOW FOR A REASON. I too am learning to trust where I’m at.

I know this article is about a Military Conference so don’t get too frightened like I did when I saw civilians standing beside these soldiers firing guns. I’ve been to something similar in DC and I loved it. I’ve never seen so many weapons in my life but even at 16, I knew that trip was important and it’s forever engraved in my mind and heart. I saw a different side to America 🇺🇸 that I had never been exposed to before no matter how many trips I took or family members remained in New York.

God is showing us this FOR A REASON.

All nations are gathered here today FOR A SPECIAL REASON (well several) so you can be ready.

Some of the most powerful men and women who with a snap of their fingers, decisions are made faster than a speeding bullet need to know because even as it stands today’s we see some nations remain IMMOVABLE. If they can ignore the LORD now, what do you think they may do when this event strikes?

Some are gathered here today because they will be tasked with saving LIVES and NATIONS and your families. This is why we must pray for our world leaders even if we disagree with their actions or policies. We want them to make THE BEST decisions because they will impact us for better or worse and we are seeing that evermore TODAY 📆 And this is why we should VOTE 🗳️

Please prepare by telling your teenagers for they will be the future leaders of this world and they will need to know in the event this happens after you have passed away. I have been seeing teens and the numbers 16 and 18. We cannot forget our youth even if right now they seem blind or unaware. We were once that way too.

Some families are not going to be so lucky to have access to this forewarning and some won’t believe until it happens.

Please believe me when I say if you are privy to these messages you are BLESSED but if you don’t take the correct action when this moment strikes, you will have no excuse.

The LORD showed me last night the words

“No Excuse”

Several times as if it were words spiraling 🌀 from Newspapers 🗞️ It reminded me of the olden Batman sitcom or movies where we would see different newspaper articles with headlines spiraling on screen. 📺

Also…

I overheard a conversation of what felt like God and his angels. It was something about Israel and 15 years and money 💴 That was all I was allowed to hear 👂🏾 I know FOR A FACT these were not Israeli officials or people from that country. I do not have any other details but God is setting some kind of plan in motion. It was difficult to hear exactly what they were discussing. There was one main voice while the second sounded faint and further away. Please pray about this and remember the number of years I mentioned. Israel along with other nations can never be caught off guard again especially because of what’s to come.

I also keep receiving these references to the MEDIA. It’s interesting because in Daniel 8 Media was a MAJOR city in Babylon and it was also mentioned in other books of the Bible including in Esther 👀

As I was typing this I heard the LORD say

“Government”

Even the LORD won’t confess to me what this event will be and he has been in my side like a thorn literally day and night warning me to warn YOU because he loves you and he wants to save the lives of as many innocents as possible. But I tell you, wicked nations will be impacted the most but that doesn’t mean we do not offer them assistance where possible. It won’t necessarily be the fault of the people but mostly its leaders.

PS. This is not an end-time warning ⚠️ That day too will come, and the message is still applicable, but this is not that. This comes before.

Notice the conversation between the Angel Gabriel and someone else who then prompts him to explain the vision to Daniel. Sounds similar to the conversation I heard last night 👀👀👀👀👀

With our planet heating up every year, I strongly believe this could be environmentally related, war or the economy or all three 3️⃣ but remember when resources become scarce, people do the worst out of DESPERATION. I once worked for a bank and there is nothing that gets people more defensive and angry than when they feel their money is threatened. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. People can become VICIOUS!!

The vaults will open but they will also close. I heard the LORD say this awhile back and now I understand why, but again it was given as a COMMAND.

I did see a pair of horns but that was a demon ‘someone’ sent to harass and provoke me per usual 😤 Still, the scripture sent me because it’s confirmation 😮

I also forgot to mention the man I saw in FLORIDA was between the ages of 50-65 which lets me know our elders could be impacted similar to our youth. We know historically both youth and seniors are the most vulnerable in our communities.

Key Questions to Consider:

What should we do if banks fail and I mean really fail with no bailouts? Where should we keep our physical cash if it does?

What should we do if this is the Depression Part 2?

What should we do if there is widespread famine? How self-sufficient are we?

What did we learn from Covid 19?

Where are our weaknesses as a country?

Where is our financial health as a nation and individually?

What is the capacity of our military?

What if our electricity goes out?

Where we can shelter the most vulnerable? AND ourselves?

What will we do if we need to close our borders?

Are we really equipped for war?

What if we have to implement conscription?

Overall just think worse case scenarios, babes. Many of you have been put in positions with more access and power than I can only dream of so I’m not telling you how to do your jobs. Please don’t be offended. Do what you do BEST.

I’ve seen some billionaires preparing bunker spaces and they’re not too far off what the LORD has been telling me to do 👀

Please seriously consider these questions ⚠️ as if this would happen TOMORROW.

I saw some leaders listening and some not 🤷🏾‍♀️

Remember the dream of my besties whispering to me letting me in on some details not privy to others. I failed to mention one is from Canada 🇨🇦 the other from America 🇺🇸 and I am Jamaican 🇯🇲 Then I was shown the comment from Mossad Twitter 🇮🇱 We are each others ALLIES. This was revealed to me today.

Get it now?

I love you guys 💋 more to discuss later.

PPS: if anyone is offering a masterclass in Emergency Preparedness, please reach out to me 😅😅😅 but fr tho 👀

[darthmanius-abandoned]

I won’t entertain your implied accusations about my diagnosis except to say that I rarely use Tumblr these days and my bio is now outdated. So be careful making assumptions about my knowledge of the subject of mania just by a Tumblr bio which I haven’t updated in years. It also says I’m younger than I am because I haven’t updated it. Doesn’t make it true.

Now. While you make some valid points about some mental illnesses impairment on judgement when it comes to a legal standing for criminal actions and culpability in the same, let’s explain why those points do not allow Kanye a pass for what he’s said and done.

1: The standard to reach the insanity defence in criminal culpability is extremely high. Mental illness on its own does not come close to reaching the threshold. Manic episodes do not reach the threshold. To reach that threshold, someone would have to be so hampered that they are unable to function in society. Like they are unable to run a household, or a business, or a record label, or a fashion brand because they are so out of their minds and out of control. And when these standards are indeed met, the person does not get a free pass. They are removed from society for the good of society and committed, most often on a permanent basis. They do not get to continue making music and selling brands and spouting hate speech that harms others.

2: Kanye doesn’t even come close to meeting this standard for many reasons. Whenever he has these outbursts, they are calculated. He’s just announced he’s going to run for President again. What better way to grab the headlines and publicity than to say and do things that are so outrageous that even people who are normally inclined to just ignore him HAVE to pay attention? And every news article that wouldn’t cover his presidential run because it’s a joke WILL cover what he said and each of those articles will have a section saying something along the lines of “West has also announced a bid for the White House in 2024” That level of calculation shows that Kanye knows EXACTLY what he’s doing. There’s a measure of gain in it for him and if he has to spit on the graves of millions of murdered Jewish people and kick their surviving relatives in the guts, then he’ll do it gladly because he doesn’t give a fuck. That’s not insanity at a level that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. That’s just being an asshole who cares about nobody but himself. That does not get a pass. Kanye does not get to go back to making music and selling brands and making money hand over fist. Not this time.

3: These outbursts are episodic in nature. While Kanye is a bad person all of the time, it seems he’s only pants-on-head insane some of the time. There are long breaks in between threatening Pete Davison and going on an antisemitic rant on Alex Jones show which suggests that when Kanye is listening to his doctors and taking medication (which we know he has been prescribed and sometimes chooses not to take) he’s able to function in a somewhat normal capacity and he knows that it’s in his best interests (which is all he cares about because again, he’s a bad person) to keep his antisemitic views to himself. This shows that Kanye’s mental issues do not meet the threshold where he has no control over his actions.

A good case study is Mike Tyson. Whether due to an extensive history of TBI’s or another reason for susceptibility, Mike Tyson suffered from severe uncontrollable anger issues that he required medication for. While medicated, this anger issue was able to be controlled and he posed no threat to anybody outside the ring. However he didn’t like how the drugs made him feel and came to hate them. When he hired a well known snake-oil salesman as an advisor (you’ll never guess who) who was willing to tell him what he wanted to hear, he stopped taking the medication. A short time later, he r***d a woman and went to prison for it. Despite having an anger issue that required medication, Tyson didn’t escape culpability because he had control over his actions despite the fact that they were being influenced by a condition that hampered his cognitive ability.

4: Kanye maintains equal custody of his children (though Kim may want to revisit that in light of recent events) If the guy is such a lunatic that he’s not able to control what he says and does, he would not have custody of his children as it would be dangerous for them.

So in conclusion. No. Kanye doesn’t get a pass. He knows exactly what he’s doing. And one final note. Mental illness does not turn a person into an antisemite if they are not one already. Mental illness does not make someone an antisemite, but an antisemite can be mentally ill. There is a profound difference. Kanye has expressed antisemitic views MANY times over the years, in public and private. The only difference is that when he’s lost the plot, he feels comfortable enough to say it out loud. That is the only difference.

So it’s clear to everyone that Kanye is off his meds again… and completely off his head.

But as someone who has been diagnosed with several mental illnesses and will be on medication for the rest of my life… let me make this clear.

Mental illness does not cause someone to be an antisemite. That is all them.

I don’t care if Kanye has literally been diagnosed with every mental condition on the planet. He has control of what he’s saying. He owns what he’s said. Yes he’s attention seeking. But he’s had these beliefs for years and he’s expressed it on countless times.

He can no longer be excused for his behaviour by the fact that he’s mentally ill. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Mental illness does not stop a person from having control over their actions and decisions and knowing right from wrong.

He needs to be ex-communicated from society. There are lines that when crossed, you can never come back from. Kanye has crossed that line. He has opened wounds in a community that has suffered so much already, he’s tried to excuse the most despicable person in human history, he’s disregarded the cold blooded murder of MILLIONS. He has spat on the graves of all the victims of the Holocaust and he’s kick their surviving relatives in the guts. And he’s done it all for his own selfish interests.

No more.

Do not listen to his music, do not purchase any of his clothing, do not interact with any of his remaining socials. To do any of those now is to side with this disgusting man and what he’s said and done.

Fuck you, Kanye. You’re the worst of humanity.

[jjackrabbitt]

Miss Peregrines Museum of Wonders, Introduction:

This was going to be my usual 3 chapter length review, but it got long so you get just the introduction.

I swear, every time I think it’s gonna be the last book, Riggs comes up with an other one. This is far from a complaint, I want every little bit of anything I can get from these books. But this has happened three times now :/

Y’all are right. The little motifs in this book are fuckin ugly. Miss Peregrine would be much classier than this.

Also why’d they change her handwriting? We already have examples of her writing and uh. It’s not that.

Okay I swear that this whole thing is not going to be negative, we are going to have some fun here, but. I did the math and Alma is at least 58. What’s this bullshit with her picture showing her as 25-30 (?) years old.

Can we please please please have publications of Miss P’s other books next?? 🥺 I’ll never threaten to hit Riggs with a metal folding chair again 🥺

Okay back to complaining. Miss P would never have her silhouette done like that. She is a gentlewoman >:/

Today on Peculiars Are Jews: the book starts by informing the reader that they are being hunted and warning about how the Normal People will try to hurt you if they find out you’re different

Ooo faulty time loops 👀 what does that entail and how can I get in one?

Yet again, Peculiars Are Jews: “there was a time when all we had to worry about was being burned at the stake. It was a simpler world then.”

I would like to remind everyone that I am Jewish so I do get to make my fucked up little Jokes

Lovin’ these pink pages, they’re very fun

Hey so with the mention of the peculiar world spanning..well. The world. Do y’all think that other parts of the world (i.e. not europe or america) would rely so heavily on ymbrynnes? I genuinely want to know what other peculiar societies look like. We know that when Myron and Jack were building the Panloopticon they went outside of Europe and America and got loop dna from some pretty surprising places, so we know there are other loops and European peculiars have/had enough connection that the boys were capable of going there on friendly terms and gathering their samples. So there at very least was some connection to other places. That might have deteriorated with the introduction of hollows and wights roamin’ around and scaring everyone into staying in their loops. And we know that Noor was in fact born in Bombay and her parents were killed by a hollow, so we know that the wights reach extended outside of Europe/America. They had to get there somehow and it seems like it would be pretty hard to transport hollows by plane, so I’d guess they did a little loop hopping to get to baby Noor. Which would require a loop to be somewhere near Noor in the first place. Idk I just want to see places outside of Europe/America and know what the peculiar situation with them is.

This is probably the only book that’s like “Thank G-d no one believes in magic anymore”

Alsooo. Some of my opinions have changed since last time I shared my thoughts with you all and I am kinda critical of the ymbrynnes now. Not in a wight kinda way, because fuck those guys. And obviously this is fiction and also I’m not involved in any sort of peculiar society, so I can’t say what’s best, but who could, really?

That being said, Alma points out that many peculiars never meet an ymbrynne. And excuse me if this is wrong, but aren’t demi-ymbrynnes a little more common than full ymbrynnes? And I don’t believe this is ever directly addressed, but in the first three books there’s no mention of demi-ymbrynnes and it’s said that Miss Avocet’s Ymbrynne Academy trains ymbrynnes, specifically. Not demi-ymbrynnes. So uh. Would it not make more sense for the Ymbrynne Academy to train both demi-ymbrynnes and ymbrynnes and use the ymbrynnes to look for peculiar people and help relocate them and start loops and then leave demi-ymbrynnes in charge of running them? Not saying that full ymbrynnes wouldn’t be involved in running loops at all, but if they’re the ones who can find people and turn into birds and start loops and are more rare, why have them be focused on running one loop at a time? If anyone disagrees with this I would very much like to hear about it

Aaaand again with Peculiars Are Jews: “This is the book for them: the young [Jew] (or the old one) who’s never had the benefit of [a Rabbi’s/Jewish community’s] guidance; who is lonely and filled with questions.”

I know only one other Jewish person in this fandom so I’m pretty sure that most of the rest of you don’t get it when I say Peculiars Are Jews but I am right. It’s about the hidden culture! The questions! The alienation! The secret wonder! Randomly seeing an other person somewhere and just Knowing that they’re one of you! The Rituals! And yeah that does sound a lot like queerness too and Peculiars very much are queers. But they are also Jews and no one else is gonna talk about it.

Oooo fuck, the rest of the last paragraph for the introduction 😔 peculiars are queers and they are Jews and they are neurodivergent.

[will-o-the-witch]

Antisemitism in Witchy Spaces

I decided to start writing down every time I saw/experienced something in hopes that it will help shed light on some specific stuff Jewitches go through. My hope is that people will see antisemitism as a community-wide issue and not the fault of just a few individuals. We all play a part in making it better.

Facebook Witch Group: post is made by a user with a profile picture of a clear nazi swastika. After being notified, admin declares the user is allowed to stay because the group is a "judgement free zone."

Facebook Witch Group: Jewitch witches were assumed white by default and pitted against other groups, as if Jewish people are leveraging their identity to "play up" their own oppression and undermine others. Many openly Jewish witches are harassed out of the group.

A witchy discord group implements a rule that outlaws all mention of all closed practices (including Judaism) "to protect from appropriation," even if the person has legitimate claim to the practice. When I pointed out this basically forced me into hiding, admin says, "you can be Jewish. Just not here."

A user identified themselves as a Kabbalist. Later in the discussion, they were surprised to learn Kabbalah was Jewish in origin, admitted they didn't know a single Jewish person in real life, and argued that Kabbalah couldn't be that bad because Arianna Grande also used it. (”Are you saying she’s wrong too??”)

Another user is called out for appropriating Kabbalah and proceeds to sling antisemitic jokes until they are banned.

Just. So many more people appropriating Kabbalah and just becoming really nasty towards any Jewish person that expresses discomfort. (Including one person that even gave themselves a Hebrew username)

A group of users too big to argue with talking about how amaaaazing working with Lilith is. A few Jewish folks respectfully ask them to be mindful of her origins. They're not given attention. (Or what attention they are given is only to debate her origin.)

Discord server has rooms for every major subcategory of Paganism and one room for "Abrahamic." Christian witches completely dominate the conversation.

I mention on my blog that I am a proud Jewish person. One of the comments shortly after is "go be Jewish in Israel."

A Nazi sympathizer joins a Discord group, reveals themselves, is banned, and proceeds to try and join again over and over again through different accounts.

I'm checking my blog activity and see a nazi witchy blog had gone through my blogged and liked a ton of stuff so I'd be sure to see their username (they did this to other notable tumblr blogs as well.) Looking at their bio revealed their agenda of proving Nazis "weren't all bad," and their dash included an open invite to a holocaust denial discord server.

A tumblr thread gets big of a bunch of witches arguing to cancel the word Sabbat because of supposed antisemitic origins. Jewish people chime in to insist that we really don't give a shit about Wiccans using the word Sabbat, and not to speak over Jewish people and declare what we're offended by. Tumblr arguments ensue.

I get "called out" for baking challah. That's not antisemitism but it made me laugh really hard. (It’s okay for goyim to bake bread, obviously. Just don’t be weird about it.)

“High magic” and ceremonial practitioners ignoring or brushing off their tradition’s origin in blatant appropriation.

A user shares a magical chant to a group for everyone to use. The chant is in Hebrew. It includes a name of Gd. They didn’t realize that was a part of it.

Another discord group asserts in the rules that members of closed cultures may be openly themselves and discuss their craft, but not in an educational way. A mod practices exclusively Hermetic Kabbalah. I don’t have the strength to get into it. (Thankfully we had an actually decent discussion but it still made me feel kinda shitty.) 

Everyone is free to reblog. Jewish witches, please feel free to add your own experiences! 

[galemalio]

3 Examples of Racial Bias in Animation Storytelling

It’s not hard to grasp that a white person, while not explicitly or consciously racist in the sense we might usually imagine, is still inherently racially biased because they benefit from and grow up used to white supremacy.” - Scottishwobbly, Tumblr

This is nothing new. This is something POC (People of Color) have been talking about in separate fandoms. Nevertheless, it needs to be acknowledged by those unaware.

This article is not made to say that some of the animations that I will use as examples are bad. But in the hopes that we, as consumers and creators, will do better in the future in handling characters that are POC. 

Most often, racial bias in storytelling is when the narrative treats white or light skin toned characters better than darker skin toned characters. The darker skin toned characters are often POC-coded or actual POC.

White creators often do not notice their racial bias in their storytelling as they benefit from and grow up with white privileges and white supremacy. This can also apply to light-skinned POC who have light skin priviliges. 

Some of us don’t often see it but real people who relate to the characters of color do. Especially when it reflects from their experiences with racial bias, microaggressions, colorism and flat out racism.

So when they speak up, it’s important to listen to them to unlearn the racial bias we may have in ourselves. 

I will be emphasizing “the narrative” for I am criticizing how the story treats its dark-skinned characters and not because I am criticizing the characters themselves.

This article is critiqued by @visibilityofcolor​ as a sensitivity reader once and then additions were made before publishing. If you’re looking for a Black sensitivity reader, you can contact her. 

This article is a 14-minute read at average speed so buckle up. Unless you want to skip to your show mentioned below. External Tumblr Resources will be put in the reblog.

Here are three examples that I was made aware of. 

Example #1: The Narrative Treats the Light-Skinned Character at the Expense of the Dark-Skinned Character

Steven Universe was one of the animations that pushed lgbt+ representation in cartoon media. However, there are narratives here and there that showed racial bias. 

SU creator Rebecca Sugar was raised with "Jewish sensibilities" and both siblings observe the lighting of Hanukkah candles with their parents through Skype.[1] Rebecca Sugar also talked about being non-binary.[2] 

But as a white person, she (and the rest of the SU crew) is not aware of the inherently biased values from growing up and benefiting from white privilege. 

One example is the human zoo. There are people that have spoken up about this such as @jellyfax​​ of Tumblr who pointed out that the Crewniverse mishandled a loaded topic and reinforced a white colonist propaganda where the captive humans of mostly black/brown people are naive, docile and childlike in order to subjugate the people that they colonized. .

What I’m here is how a character of color from the main cast is more obligated to the lighter-skinned character. 

In the episode, Friend Ship, one fan had spoken out about how Garnet, who had been validly angry at Pearl, was compelled by a dangerous situation to forgive Pearl. Garnet is a Black-coded character. While Pearl is a light-skinned character.  

Garnet was mad at Pearl for tricking her into always fusing with her. Then they were trapped in a chamber that was going to crush them. In this situation, they have to fuse in order to save themselves but Garnet refuses to because she was still angry at her. 

In the end, they were forced to talk it out, for Garnet to understand Pearl’s reason for wanting to fuse with her and everything worked out well.

The narrative focused so much on Pearl’s self-worth issues at the expense of Garnet’s right to be angry. 

Yes, it showed that Pearl is trying her best to make up for it but Garnet should have been allowed to work at her own anger at her own pace instead of being obligated to consider Pearl’s feelings over her own. 

I wouldn’t have noticed it until someone had mentioned it. Because it was never my experience. 

But it’s there, continuing the message that it’s okay to put the emotional labor on Black people and disregard their own feelings for the sake of the non-Black people who have hurt them -particularly light-skinned women. 

White Fragility and Being Silenced White Woman Tears

Again, racial bias in animation storytelling is often not intentional because white creators do not experience it due to white privilege. 

Without meaning to, that scene alone shows Garnet as the Angry Black woman trope that is ungrateful and rude to Pearl who then ends up in tears. Without meaning to, Pearl with her light skin, became the tearful white girl trope that had to be sympathized over.

The Angry Black Woman trope is a combination of the worst negative stereotypes of a Black woman: overly aggressive, domineering, emasculating, loud, disagreeable and uppity.[13] 

The Tearful white girl trope comes from the combination of the stereotypes of white women being morally upstanding and delicate and therefore should be protected.[13] 

Which, unfortunately, many white women have taken advantage of.

These two tropes are harmful to WOC (Women of Color) because they experience the "weary weaponizing of white women's tears". This tactic employed by many white women incites sympathy and avoids accountability for their actions, turning the tables to their accuser and forcing their accuser to understand them instead.

(Image by Виктория Бородинова from Pixabay)

In "Weapon of lass destruction: The tears of a white woman", Author Shay described that white tears turns a white woman into the priority of whatever space she's in. "It doesn't matter if you're right, once her tears are activated, you cease to exist." [11] 

White woman tears have gotten Black people beaten and lynched such as Emmett Till. Carolyn Bryant who had accused 14 year old Emmett Till of sexually harassing her in 1955, admitted she lied about those claims years later in 2007.[15]

In Awesomely Luvvie's "About the Weary Weaponizing of White Women Tears", she states that the innocent white woman is a caricature many subconsciously embrace because it hides them from consequences. [10]

In The Guardian’s article, "How White Women Use Strategic Tears to Silence Women of Colour", Ruby Hamad shares her experience:

"Often, when I have attempted to speak to or confront a white woman about something she has said or done that has impacted me adversely, I am met with tearful denials and indignant accusations that I am hurting her. My confidence diminished and second-guessing myself, I either flare up in frustration at not being heard (which only seems to prove her point) or I back down immediately, apologising and consoling the very person causing me harm."[4]

This is not to say that all crying white women are insincere. But as activist Rachel Cargle said:

“I refuse to listen to white women cry about something. When women have come up to me crying, I say, ‘Let me know when you feel a little better, then maybe we can talk.’”[3]

One of the most quoted words in “White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism.” is this:

“It is white people’s responsibility to be less fragile; people of color don’t need to twist themselves into knots trying to navigate us as painlessly as possible.”[3]  

When white women cry in defense, instead of taking accountability, People of Color are then gaslighted into thinking they’re the bad guy. This is emotional abuse and a manipulation tactic. 

People of Color shouldn’t have to bend backwards to accommodate discomfited white or light-skinned people who have hurt them. 

How She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (SPOP) Did It Right

Despite SPOP having good lgbtq+ representations, there are other biases in the show. Such as Mara, a WOC whose only purpose was to sacrifice herself for the white protagonist. There was also the insensitive joke in their stream regarding Bow’s sibling that perpetuated an Anti-Black stereotype which Noelle Stevenson has apologized for.[14]

But the scene I have encountered where the Black character was validly angry and his feelings were treated well by the narrative, came from SPOP.

Bow, a black character, was validly angry at Glimmer, a lighter skinned character. Glimmer made a lot of bad decisions, one of them was using Adora and their friends as bait, without their knowledge, to lure out and capture Catra.  

Glimmer tearfully apologized in Season 5, Episode 4. Adora readily forgave her. But Bow didn't. 

They faced dangers along the way but the story didn't put them in a dangerous situation where Bow has to forgive Glimmer in order to get out of it. 

This was Glimmer's words of apology:

"Look, I know you're still mad at me. Maybe you'll be mad at me for a really long time. I deserved it. And maybe... maybe we'll never be friends like we used to be. But I'm not going to stop trying to make it better. I made a mistake with the heart of Etheria. I should've listened to you and I'm sorry. You get to be mad. For as long as you need to be. But I'm not going anywhere. And when you're ready, I'll be here."

In short, Bow was allowed to take the time to be mad and not just get over it for someone else’s sake. The story validates his feelings and he was allowed to take his own pace. That is emotional respect the story gave to him.

Example #2: The Narrative Gives Better Endings or Portrayals to Colonizers than Their Victims

Avatar: The Last Airbender has handled dark themes well such as genocide, war, PTSD, disability and redemption with great worldbuilding.

However, I never noticed the racial bias in ATLA until people spoke up of the double standards in ATLA’s treatment of light-skinned colonizers compared to their dark-skinned victims-turned-villains.

The characters in question -Iroh, Azula, Jet and Hama- are all flawed and well-rounded in a believable way. But how the narrative treats them is unequal.

General Iroh is an ex-colonizer who gets to redeem himself and not answer for his past war crimes, living a peaceful life as a tea shop owner. The only reason Iroh changed was when he was personally affected by the negativity of their military subjugation -his son’s death. It wasn’t the harm of the Fire nation ravaging Earth kingdom villages or cities and affecting millions of people that opened his eyes.

Azula, the tyrannical daughter, had closure of her mother's rejection when she was a child and was able to escape imprisonment.

Jet and Hama, victims of colonization who have done bad things, did not get similar conclusions to their stories OR compensation for what they have gone through from the Fire Nation's colonization. 

Jet was given a second chance but was arrested for trying to expose Zuko and Iroh being firebenders -firebenders who were their enemies for conquering their villages. Then he died from the injuries of the person who had brainwashed and mind-controlled him. 

Hama was imprisoned for life. 

Compared to the sins of the light-skinned colonizers, the narrative didn’t give Jet and Hama the development where they could heal from their trauma, receive compensation for what happened to them and really have a chance in life. 

The dark-skinned victims of colonization just became a lesson to the viewers how they shouldn’t hold grudges for being colonized. The end. They have received consequences for their actions but there is no continuation to their stories after that. 

It almost seems like the narrative is saying that because they have harmed colonizers who have no part in their trauma (and in Jet’s case, some Earth kingdom villagers), they are therefore unworthy to be given an actual chance in life. 

While Azula and Iroh, who have actively participated in conquering, colonizing and attacking the Earth Kingdom itself, were.   

Someone once said that if indigenous people have control over Hama’s story, it would have been done differently. But the ATLA crew are white, non-indigenous people who prioritized redeeming colonizers instead.

The narrative has also affected how the ATLA fandom thinks. If most fans are asked who they would want to be redeemed, the popular option would be Azula over Jet or Hama.

Once again, I don’t think the ATLA crew noticed it due to their racial bias. But still, the harm is done and the racially biased message is continued: 

The colonizers and their descendants don’t have to make amends for the colonizers’ crimes. Or if they do, only lightly since it’s in the past (no matter how recent that past is). 

The colonized who rebel will tend to hurt innocent people and then get a grisly end for getting in way over their heads.  

I would venture as far as to say that the narrative may have the  added subconscious desire to quiet their white anxiety on the vengeance of the colonized. As I have learned when writing about Vodou stereotypes and how they have stemmed from the history of white anxiety of Black vengeance, of Black fetishization and of dissolution of the white race through intermarriages.

In @visibilityofcolor’s blog, someone asked:

 “So I saw some of the really heated debates on here and on twitter about how if Iroh and Azula can be portrayed sympathetically despite their actions then characters like Jet and Hama should've been given a chance too. Do you think that the writers understood the implications of only redeeming characters from the colonizer/fascist nation but not giving the characters who suffered because of their fascism a second chance too?”

To which VisibilityOfColor replied:

“No, because at the end of the day, the writers are white. When it comes to stuff like this, it’s no surprise when we see white writers redeem problematic characters before they actually redeem victims of those racist problematic characters. For instance, Dave Filioni, who worked on both avatar and star wars rebels, did the same thing when redeeming agent kallus who was an soldiers in the imperial army and took credit for a genocide. where as victims of the empire were still painted in negative lights. i really don’t think they understand.

They have this ‘be the better person’ view on things, which is what a lot of white people tend to emulate when it comes to people of color standing up to their oppressors. and unfortunately, these are ideas passed on to children, esp minorities. that they should forgive people and communities who hurt them and ‘be the better person’. this is why white ppl don’t need to write narratives for people of color.”

Example #3: The Narrative Favors the Light Skinned Character Than Dark Skinned Character in Similar Situations

I would like to reiterate that racial bias in storytelling is often not intentional. I am not saying the creators and the people who support them are bad people. No.

However, I encourage that once a racial bias is made known in our work, it is our responsibility to change them to stop the perpetuation of its harmful message.

Hazbin Hotel is a popular cartoon with whimsical designs and its concept opens the conversation about redemption. The creator, Vivziepop may not have noticed the racial bias in her cartoon as a white Latina [5] that grew up with and benefits from white privileges, along with the Hazbin crew. 

In the Youtbe video, "Hazbin Hotel - How Art took over Writing", Staxlotl states:

“I understand that there was a lot of time and effort put into this pilot, almost three years worth of effort. But I think most of that time was spent into the art and visuals when it should’ve gone into polishing the writing in the characters.”[6]

Once again, I’m not here to critique the characters but how the narrative treats its dark-skinned characters.

The story treats Charlie, the white-skinned, “Disney-esque” protagonist princess differently from how it treats Vaggie, the dark-skinned, more outspoken and protective Latina girlfriend of Charlie who supports the princess’ cause. 

In its pilot episode, both girls experience humiliation. While Charlie is portrayed by the story as someone the viewers have to feel sorry for...

...Vaggie is portrayed in her humiliation as the butt of the joke for the viewers.

While they both didn’t like what Angel Dust did, Charlie was sympathized over in the narrative as a moment... 

...while Vaggie’s angry but valid callouts were dismissed and ignored as part of the comedy.

While Charlie was someone that needs to be protected in the narrative... 

...Vaggie is left to fend for herself. 

Again, I don’t think the creators noticed the racial bias of their cartoon. However, this racial bias is reflected in the harmful perceptions that dark-skinned women, particularly Black women and Black girls, are more mature, tougher and need less protection at a young age.[7] 

This adultification bias perceives them as challenging authority when they express strong or contrary views and are then given harsher discipline than white girls who misbehave.[8] And this continues when they grow up.

In a 2017 study, Black women and girls aged 12-60 years old confirmed they are treated harsher by their white peers and are accused of being aggressive when they would defend themselves or explain their point of view to authority figures.[8] 

This bias also coincides with the Spicy Latina trope of a brown-skinned, hot-blooded, quick-tempered and passionate woman.

Everyday Feminism described this trope as "Although objects of desire for many, the spicy Latina may have too much personality to handle. So much so that she is often viewed as domineering or emasculating." [16]

Sounds familiar? (Look at Angry Black Woman trope above.)

Why is it that a light-skinned character, Charlie, is allowed to be vulnerable and be sympathized while the dark-skinned Latina character, Vaggie, is mocked, dismissed and expected to tough it out?

Severina Ware had to remind the world in her article that relates to the bias against dark skinned characters:

“Black women are not offered the protection and gentleness of our white counterparts. We are not given permission to be soft and delicate. We are required to exhibit strength and fortitude not only because our lives depend on it, but because so many others depend on us. Black women should not be charged with the responsibility of saving everyone when nobody is here to save us.”[12] 

As @cullenvhenan​ of Tumblr has said in her post:

“if you're a white creator and your brown/black characters are always sassy, reckless, aggressive or cold and your white characters are always soft, demure, shy and introverted you should think about maybe why you did that”

(Image above from Iowa Law Reviews’ “Aggressive Encounters & White Fragility: Deconstructing the Trope of the Angry Black Woman”)

Detecting Your Own Racial Bias

It would be hard. No matter how much you edit and create, you may miss it because it was never your experience. 

So how do we prevent our racial bias from creeping into our creations?

Listen to POC and their feedback.

As @charishjb from Instagram has shared, here is one of the things that we can do (tumblr link here) [9]:

Consider POC voices. Listen to their experiences. Hire sensitivity POC readers. Put multiple POC voices in positions of leadership in creative projects.

Then we can stop the racial bias that perpetuates again and again in the media. I hope for that future.

[laineystein]

What’s your opinion on the free Palestine movement? (Im a Zionist I just wanna hear your viewpoint)

Oooooh child.

This is going to make people lose their minds but OH WELL.

Yalla, let’s go!

The only reasons Palestinians aren’t free is because of other Palestinians. Their oppression is not created by Israel but by Hamas and other Iran-funded terrorist groups. The Palestinian people are pawns and the Hamas propaganda machine is extremely successful. Whoever handles Hamas’ PR…give that man a medal. Hamas and other terrorist groups feed into the beginning of time adage that Jews are evil. This narrative is the reason that when Israel protects their citizens and retaliates when we are fired upon, news stories make it seem as if we acted unprovoked. Free Palestine is a joke, just like BDS. These are slogans created by terrorist groups to delegitimize and demonize Israel. These campaigns have absolutely nothing to do with protecting the people of Palestine. If the people that started these campaigns cared about Palestinians they wouldn’t be using them as human shields ie. building tunnels and weapons stores beneath schools. And why do they do this? Because they know that the IDF prides themselves on limiting civilian casualties at all costs. The IDF cares more about Palestinians than the fucking PA does. We all saw the luxury resort in Gaza that was attacked for allowing men and women to attend a concert together? They’re attacking their own people. Like…how brainwashed do you have to be to blame Israel for their oppression? No brainwashing necessary - antisemitism will do the trick.

If you have to bring Israel into it, there have been a ridiculous amount of peace talks and the PA has rejected all of them. Most of Israel wants a two state solution. I’d argue that Palestinians do too. The difference is that Israel lets their people speak and values the opinions and values of their people. Hamas/PA couldn’t care less. Again: this is not about “freeing” their people, it’s about killing ours.

You know I have to quote my queen Golda [Meir]: “Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us.”

This whole “from the River to the Sea”…y’all get that this is not them wanting to “Free Palestine”…it’s literally a call for complete conquering of all of Israel by wiping out the Jewish people. Intifada? Look up what happened for the first and second Intifada’s. It’s a call for violence under any means necessary. They’re encouraging their people to put themselves in harms way as a means to an end? For what? Who the fuck is going to live in this “Free” Palestine if everyone is dead?

Do I agree with all of Israel’s policies when it comes to borders and citizenship? No. Did I watch my fellow soldiers die in mortar attacks? Did I witness car bombs that killed children? Yes. This is going to surprise a lot of people but I’m not for war. I’m somewhat of a pacifist. But more than that I am a Jew who knows that I have a right and a duty to protect my Tribe because if I don’t, no one will. Israel doesn’t act, they react. They are the Israel DEFENSE forces. Israel is doing what every other country would do if met with the force and violence we face. The difference is, again, the coverage. So, again, most of the policies in place are the result of Israel being backed into a corner. It is not to punish Palestinians but to protect Israelis. Bottom line: if Hamas and other terrorist groups weren’t constantly on their bullshit, Palestine would be free.

I said what I said.

[karliesbuzzcut]

So I don’t know how you guys feel about the ‘Realistic Kaylor Timeline’ that’s been doing the rounds on this corner of the internet. I’m guessing some of you might feel conflicted, others might strongly disagree with some parts of it - but do not worry. I’m here to tell you how to feel about it: you love it. Because it’s mandatory to love anything that can get such a feral reaction out of TTB.

Today I’m bringing you

Top 7 Moments from TTB vs. Swiftiesleuth 2020

Fair wairning: I’m going to be very biased - I’ve not made my adoration for @swiftiesleuth a secret at all.

1. TTB’s grand entrance. LLLLLET’S GET READY TO TUMBLRRRRR!

Her disjointed sentences already let you know she’s a bit shaken “FAKE NEWS! The author admits they do not have inside knowledge like I do! I have all the inside knowledge, they only have outside knowledge, which ew - it’s muddy outside, and there’s bugs.”

2. Married people don’t ‘bonk’ - they make respectful and dignified love to each other. Preferably from opposite sides of the room.

My favourite was definitely when she said “if you’re a queer woman then you should really think about how you talk”. I vote for unpacking this one.

That ‘if’ - because of course, TTB has to perform a background check on you before she allows you to join The Gays.

That ‘should’. Please, TTB, complete that thought for us. Why is it that, as a queer woman, swiftiesleuth should do something in particular? You are not implying that she has to be especially careful about her words because she’s queer, right? I mean, you wouldn’t 😱 you’re a Social Justice Warrior after all.

TTB doesn’t like to be called “dude” either:

Which is why I suggest we all start calling her ‘Our Dude’. She will be our collective dude. And we can all be her little Dudes! It’ll be delightful, I’m telling ya.

3. In the year of our lord 2020, TTB decides it’s a good idea to pull the “I can’t be racist; my best friend is black” - but make it Jewish.

On this one I want to take a bit of a more serious tone, so I’ll limit myself to only one fart joke. I had no idea there were circumstances in which you couldn’t say you ‘converted’ to Judaism. I genuinely love that this seemingly silly passtime of mine actually teaches me new things. Now, I’m going to take a wild-ass guess and say TTB didn’t know that either... but more on this coming up.

Right now, let’s all rejoice at her choice of saying “I have facts” and right afterwards “Kaylor is likely already married”.

Kaylor, the sole entity, is married.

4. TTB tells herself “You know what? I haven’t been racist enough today”

At this point, TTB has become a cautionary tale about what happens to a person when they get married to an idea. It’s genuinely scary for me to think that my brain could trick me to such an extent that I could no longer process information that contradicts my beliefs. Just imagine it, there’s something about someone else’s religion that doesn’t make sense to you, and you decide to draw your conclusions from there. Okay, cool. Then someone from said religion explains that thing that didn’t make sense. And your reaction isn’t “oh, I maybe I should think about that, this person clearly knows more than me about this particular subject”. No. Your reaction instead is “I am entitled to my beliefs”

ISN’T THAT TERRIFYING!?

But more importantly... Isn’t that fucking racist? Wait... what? You are saying that isn’t racist enough? You think TTB should’ve also said that people don’t get to be offended by a word ‘only because it has been used as a slur in the past’? And then suggest to the person who asked her not to use that word - a person who is directly affected by that kind of bigotry - to get a dictionary? Nooo, come on, that’d be overkill. We are not trying to build a cartoon villain here!

5. Whaler and TTB are disappointed parents.

Truly emps, how dare you have a mind of your own. We raised you better than that!

I loooove that this day and age a fucking reblog means unconditional support to the author of the post... I’d watch that Black Mirror episode.

6. Both swiftiesleuth & TTB leave the chat with a motherfucking BANG.

I thought that I had hit comedy nirvana when Swiftiesleuth asked if her LGBTQ flavour bothered TTB and I thought no way in hell would TTB respond to that. BUT SHE DID. Aren’t you glad to be alive to witness that? “I have no knowledge of your flavour” she says. Well, TTB, I have no knowledge of Swiftiesleuth’s flavour either, but I’m working on fixing that *double winky face*

BUT TTB was like “talking about someone’s flavour isn’t hilarious enough, let’s leave this conversation with my best material”. And reminded us all of the percentage of black people she has working for her. I wonder if she decided to do the maths right after assembling her team or after she realised she could use it as an argument. Either way, super normal behaviour.

Also, also. I’d love to know what she considers a minority “well... Gerald has a pet snake... that should bring my minority percentage up by a couple points”

7. Special guests!

You wouldn’t be able to tell by how late to the party I was, but this was a big event here on Tumblr. Everybody was there... I’m told. Because I already feel like I’ve been working on this post for the past decade, I’ll keep it short and cute.

In one corner we have whaler and swift-79,

Obligatory bulletpoint list about all the things I loved about this post:

It wasn’t enought that TTB questioned swiftiesleuth’s queerness. Whaler said “fuck it - I’m questioning this bitch’s name as well” “Nat?” “you don’t look like a Nat” “but if you insist on identifying yourself as a Nat...” “I’ll put it in air quotes though”

I’m sorry... “If we are judging from pictures”? Isn’t that all that Kaylors do in 2020? No. No. I’m sorry. You guys also have emojis, sorry!

“Even Enty has questions about his sexuality” 😱 What? Enty? A blog dedicated to posting a constant stream of celebrity gossip once said that someone, somewhere, might be gay? No! 😱

I think swiftiesleuth was accused again of working for Scooter? Conspiracy Theorists are so adorably predictable, every time anyone disagrees with them (worse if that person seems to have done some research) somebody has to yell “they’re working for the enemy!”

Anyway, time for our final guest: the lovely @youlooklikebadnews , who I could’ve asked to write this whole post for me because they definitely did a better job than me at summarising the whole thing. But not only that, they were lucky enough to get a response from TTB.

...At this point I’m fairly certain that I’ll get invited to a Secret Session before TTB ever acknowledges my existence.

Doesn’t this read like what the villain says at the end of a shitty movie? Teasing a sequel and everything?

“You have not seen the last of TTB! I’ll be back with more proof and no copyright issues! KARLIE AND TAYLOR WILL RISE! Then you will see! YOU WILL ALL SEE!”

*flourishes cape and disappears into the night*

[babbushka]

I NEED PASSOVER PROMPT ONE

(we know I love Paterson and am a sucker for anything written for him but you can decide who you’d like to write it for 🥺)

A/N: Thank you so much for asking!! Pat is such a mensch, I couldn’t resist jumping on this prompt :) I hope you enjoy it! 

1.4k, no warnings just fluff and humor :) Jewish!Paterson x Jewish!Reader

He listens to the rhythmic sound of the wipers, as they steadily swish away a light rain that pitter-patters on the windshield. Paterson drives through the winding upstate New Jersey roads, you in the passenger seat next to him, and his friend Doc the bartender, in the backseat. Paterson had celebrated Pesach with you for many years now, even before you were married and he could only call you his girlfriend, but the addition of his friend is a new one.

Doc had mentioned off-handedly a couple days ago that he knew the Jewish holiday was coming up, but had never experienced it for himself. Paterson brought it up on one of his nightly visits for his single beer, and Doc had been interested enough to agree to join you and him for Seder. 

Now though, as they’re all on their way to Paterson’s mom’s house, Doc realizes that he has no idea what he’s getting himself into, especially as Paterson is explaining it to him, prompting him to ask,

“What do you mean there’s fifteen steps?”

You chuckle just a little at the surprise in his voice, and even Paterson’s dimples make an appearance.

“I think last year it was three hours before we even got to eat.” He says, his eyes flicking up to Doc’s in the rearview to give him a friendly smile, “But that was because my cousin kept interrupting.”

“Three hours?” Doc groans,  “Pat tell me you’re joking. I haven’t eaten all day!”

To prove his point, a loud stomach growl sounds from the backseat, and Paterson’s smile turns into a full on chuckle of his own, as you’re doing your best to not encourage him too much over in your seat. In your lap is a big Tupperware of matzah toffee, a coveted recipe that you’re tempted to let Doc try now to hold the poor man over.

“No one told you to fast.” Paterson says, his voice soft and only a little teasing, “Only the first-born in every family fasts the night before Passover.”

“Wish I had known that now, I’m starving.” Doc grumbles, his normal steady mood shifting into something a little exasperated when he wonders aloud, “What even are these fifteen steps?”

“Do you really want to know or are you just asking to ask?” You ask, finally breaking your silence. You love telling people all about Seder, love talking about the holiday. It’s one of Paterson’s favorites too, and his eyes practically light up at the thought of getting to teach his friend.

“No I want to know.” Doc scratches the back of his neck, “I did some reading but…”

“Well, it starts with the Kadesh.” You let Paterson take the lead, loving the way the deep rumble of his voice soothes your ears. He explains, “It’s a blessing over the first cup of wine, and to commemorate and sanctify the holiday. Then there’s the Urchatz, a ritual hand-washing to cleanse ourselves before we begin.”

Paterson drives steadily, carefully through the trees, remembering how he had always dreaded the next step. You pinch at his nose playfully when it crinkles up, his expression endearing.

“Next comes the Karpas, the first food that we get to eat although it isn’t really…food food. It’s a piece of green vegetable, I think we’re using parsley this year?” Paterson asks, looking at you. Sometimes you used celery, but Paterson’s mom liked to switch it up every other year. You nod, and he continues, “We dip it in salt water to represent the tears our people shed while enslaved in Egypt.”

“Damn, you guys don’t mess around huh?” Doc lets out a laugh at that, and you’re inclined to agree.  

“Trust me, it gets way more dramatic.” You say, while Paterson tries to figure out how to find the detour for some road work ahead of him, “Then there’s the Yachatz, where the first piece of matzah is broken in half. The larger piece of matzah is called the afikomen, and is hidden somewhere in the house for the kids to find at the end.”

“Aw that’s pretty cute actually.” Doc smiles, and Paterson beams. He can’t wait until he has children of his own to go running through the house, wreaking havoc.

“Some families do it where the kids have to steal it off the Seder leader’s lap without them noticing, which is also really funny.” You nod, because you also agree, “But it usually distracts the kids during the Maggid, so we personally don’t do it.”

“The Maggid?”

“It’s the longest part of the Seder, this is when we read the long and drawn out story of our Exodus.” Paterson explains, “All the plagues, the slaughter of the first born – ”

“They get slaughtered and they have to fast?” Doc interrupts with raised eyebrows, “That sucks for firstborns.”

“Then we wash our hands again with the Rachtzah,” Paterson only continues with a smirk, glad that his older brother Paul has to wear the brunt of that responsibility. Nevermind that they’re twins, he’s older by two minutes, “And we’re not allowed to talk, it’s a silent hand-washing.”

“Oh do we get to eat now?” Doc’s eyes light up, as his stomach growls again.

Successfully navigating away from the road-block, you and Paterson exchange an apologetic glance.

“No,” He shakes his head, “Then we break the second matzah while saying the Motzi.”

“And then we eat the Maror, the bitter herb.” You add on, “This signifies the bitterness of slavery. Again. But after that we get to eat the Hillel sandwich.”

“Oh thank god – ”

“It’s bitter herb sandwiched between two pieces of matzah.” Paterson squashed Doc’s hopes before he even has a chance to get them too high.

“Dammit!” Doc laughs, feeling like this is the dinner that never ends. He isn’t entirely wrong, but there is relief on his face when Paterson pulls up to the drive-way, and you unbuckle your seat belt, turning over your shoulder to smile at him.

“After that you get to eat though.” You wink.

“For real this time?” Doc asks cautiously, making Paterson nod with a grin.

“For real.” He clips a yarmulke to his hair like the good boy he is, “And I promise it’s worth it.”

The three of you get out of the car, and you make sure that you have everything that you need before going in. Doc looks a little hesitant, eyeing the house that already has music and happy chatter sounding from the slightly open window.

“What do we do after we eat?” Doc asks, his hands in his pocket.

“The kids hunt for that piece of matzah, we do a final blessing after we eat called the Barech, invite a ghost in to come hang out with us and protect us, and then we sing songs.” You offer him a hand for him to hold, knowing that he must feel a little intimidated by it all.

Seder was intimidating for a lot of people, even those who had celebrated it for years. But then again, rituals are meant to be shared with family and friends, and you’re just glad Doc wanted to see for himself what it was all about.

“Did you say ghost?” Doc immediately blinks, making you laugh – it really was a silly part of the tradition, but an important one nonetheless.

“His name is Elijah, he’s really nice.” Paterson locks the car door and “When Elijah leaves though, we drink another glass of wine and dance. But by that point usually everyone is trashed enough that we all black out on the couch. It all depends.”

Approaching the front step, Doc takes in a deep breath. You slip him a piece of matzah toffee that he happily accepts, eagerly eating the dessert. His face lights up when he tastes how delicious it is, and he can’t help but smile.

“This sounds like one helluva dinner Pat, I gotta say.” Doc sounds almost impressed, that something so elaborate continues to be observed year after year after year.

“Are you ready to find out for yourself?” Paterson asks, gently nudging Doc with his elbow in a friendly gesture.

“If there’s more of this,” Doc points to the matzah toffee, “Then I’m more than ready.”

The three of you grin and Paterson steps through the threshold with your hand securely held in his, as the family welcomes you all and gives a most warm welcome to Doc, who finds that by the end of Seder after four full glasses of wine on an empty stomach, it is one helluva dinner indeed.

                                                   -------------------

Taggin’ some Paterson lovin’ friends! @sacklerscumrag @artsymaddie @direnightshade @reyloaddict55 @sunflowersinthesnow @steeevienicks @the-unmanaged-mischief @chapterhappygirl 

[hawaiian-has-moved]

you aren’t cannon. beetlebabes is more cannon than you. at least that shit was in the musical and movie and cartoon.

Need I remind you idiots, since I have already said I'm no longer being nice to you anymore.

That I do not give a damn what you think it looked like to you in that fucked up brain of yours, it's still p*dophilia. Man it's almost sad I live this rent free in your head for existing. I just exist and your blood boils. It's cute.

Anyway, Lydia is a minor in every version.

And if you think the wedding in the movie was romantic. Man every gross man I've cringed at for being a creepo must have been true love.

But see, that's the thing you people don't get huh? Consent. Consent does not exist to you. If it did you wouldn't fight when people say that Lydia is a minor and therefore cannot consent. It doesn't click because you found something hot about shipping this developing teen with this old as fuck perv.

But oh? Is that not enough for you, you cry, begging to justify your vile ship. Allow me to humor you and go through the other versions.

In fact! I'll analyze a whole song just for you.

Also please look at yet another picture of Lydia obviously not having it.

Way back when I was just ten

Simple and sweet

Everywhere, fellas would stare

Out on the street

And I felt used

Kinda confused

I would refuse to look in their eyes

But now I really love creepy old guys

This is kinda obvious, she's been preyed on before by men. So basic p*do trying to gr**m a kid scenario. But the satire to the song of course is that "it's all fine now" Which it's obviously not, she's just using this to trick him so they can send him back as an end goal.

We all do!

Gum disease

Skin like grilled cheese

Saggy old asses

(Saggy old asses)

Cute and vile

Hey baby, smile

To each girl that passes

They make me blush

(Can't get enough)

Now one of 'em loves me, wants to be mine

(That's right)

Marrying my own creepy old guy!

(I'm a creepy old guy)

This is just more playing out the satire of pretending it's okay, but with Beej chiming in because he already lacks the knowledge that this is grooming and it's not okay. Tricking him into thinking this is fine to end up killing him is a breeze.

My creepy old guy, my creepy old guy

I'm so happy I could cry

Girls may seem disgusted, but we're actually just shy

It's not uncommon that I've heard about or heard someone get told that they're just shy when a gross ass old man or someone is trying to gr**m a kid. It's gaslighting and manipulation in most cases. So for them to say that it's because they're actually just shy as part of the satire is the point.

My creepy old groom (creepy old groom)

Play that wedding tune

Hey folks, step aside

(I am older, but I'm glad I waited)

And if you've watched a bootleg, you would recall Barbara right here smiling and then turning away with eyes wide, like "this is not fucking okay" Kind of look on her face. But yeah this is another one of those phrases that you hear too often in these gross situations.

'Cause here comes the bride

I am marrying my creepy old guy

(Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy)

He's my creepy old guy

(Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy!)

Fix his hair

Get him prepared

For Armageddon

Again if you have seen a bootleg, here Lydia puts a finger to her lips and goes shhhh. Because Armageddon is Beejs death.

Sure, the groom

Crawled out of a tomb

But hey, hey, it's a wedding!

He's really fucking old guys. There is a huge age gap and this is p*dophilia.

So dim the lights

Pick up some rice

Say something nice

It's my day to shine

I'm getting hitched to my creepy old guy

(It's showtime)

Creepy old guy, creepy old guy

She's marrying a creepy old guy

Have you guys seen "Lolita"?

This is just like that, but fine

I have not seen Lolita, but I have been told it's similar to this who marriage scenario and is mega bad. Now if it were Lolita fashion, that is made to ward off men, so I assume it's a movie from what info I have.

Creepy old dude, creepy old dude

Our faith has been renewed

Now love is alive!

Wave your baby girl goodbye

I am walking down the aisle

I wanna see a tear in every eye as I pass by

I know that on the outside he's disgusting

And even on the inside, he's disgusting

This whole scenario is fucking vile. He's vile.

But I know that this time, I'm makin' it right

(Making it right, making it right!)

With my family by my side

O.M.G.

Dressed to a "T"

Fancy and formal

I found me a wife

L'chaim to life

This is so normal!

I was ignored

But now, I'm adored!

'Cause I extorted, tortured, and lied

Give it up for my underage bride!

They've done it, they have successfully tricked him into thinking this is okay with no funny business. But he's about to get stabbed. L'chaim to life is a nod at him being Jewish, also he had a Kippah in the DC version which backed this joke, but it fell off a lot ig so he doesn't have it now. Traditionally there was a lot of marrying women off to much older men for property and stuff, as most religions do/did tho. I was in a production of Fiddler on the roof for example and that was the whole premise.

Here comes the bride

Here comes the bride

God be glorified

I can't believe some cultures think this kind of thing's alright

My creepy old guy

My creepy old guy

Doesn't he deserve a chance at life?

Oh yeah, that's right

Yeah, that's right

So let's make him alive!

I am marrying my creepy old guy!

Guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy

Guy, guy, creepy old guy

Guy, guy

(I have chills)

Yeah!

And then they stab him and the till death do we part sign over the stage all makes sense now because the wedding vows are undone and since he's recently deceased he almost returns to the netherworld.

Etcetera etcetera... But of course you guys go tome deaf at that one when it plays if I remember right.

Oh right, the cartoon, of course, I knew just what you were thinking don't worry. You're thinking "oh well what about the comics, and the valentine cards! And and the animators who drew lewd stuff of Lydia!" Well.... Haha! Still p*dophilia! And also I have seen the infamous Lydia drawing and it's got her head shape, nose, lips, but it's not fully her. Even if it was again my first point, still p*dophilia. And yeah just because the people who worked on it drew it, doesn't make it suddenly okay. Ffs...

I couldn't even find a cartoon wedding that wasn't fan drawn to match this one. Because that doesn't exist! But I do have my favorite point to make.

Beetlejuice's look into Lydia's future in Pest O' the West.

Now why you b*bes were busy being p*dos and gr**ming kids on the internet into thinking this shit is okay, I was mastering the art of common fucking sense.

Beej makes a joking remark that he cannot see into the future while hiding from Bully the Crud, but when he does as per usual, his puns and phrases make his magic go to work. So a crystal ball appears in front of him showing the future in the images I've provided.

Lydia, doing a heaping pile of dishes as a ghost for bully and all of their kids, very unhappy and driven insane. Because imagine what being married to someone it's obviously wrong to be with would do to her mind. He hates seeing her like this, so he rushes to save her. Which he successfully does.

Toon is actually the one with canon evidence of this shit being not okay to him.

Also before anyone tries to say it, no the movie and cartoon aren't connected, she doesn't even live in Winter River in the cartoon that should have made it obvious. Besides she's like 14-16 in the movie. So I don't think she de-aged.

Lastly, two things that are off topic. I believe it's spelled canon, and before anyone goes saying fiction doesn't effect reality, I would like you to explain to me how being a Jedi is a official religion if that is so true.

See anon! I gave you my special, condescending talk that too two hours to type on my phone! You stalked me endlessly and I picked you as the special anon that, I didn't deletes ask for being a gross piece of shit in a minors ask box! Wow. That searching my name clicking on my asks, and typing out all that so I could live rent free in your head really.... Didn't work lol. I may have took two hours to type this, but I assure you I will forget about you in 2 days max. Because unlike you, I have better things to do than ship a minor with an ancient demon. Bye bye now, be sure to rant about me with pure rage to your house p*do friends so that my existence may spread further into other people's minds! Woo... Being famous is so tough. 😉

[thefloorisbalaclava]

Hanukkah with Frankie

Pairing: Francisco ‘Catfish’ Morales x F!Reader

Warnings: None

A/N: First and foremost I want to say Happy Hanukkah to all my followers who celebrate! Secondly, I want to thank my lovely Jewish anon for trusting me with this and also helping me out with a few things. You told me that you practiced Reform Judaism so I looked up as much as I could about it! Please feel free to tell me if I got anything wrong!

[Frankie masterlist]

---

“I hate this shirt, too,” Frankie said before turning to walk into the bedroom for the fifth time. You stopped him and helped him adjust the tie he wore.

“Frankie, you look fine,” you reassured him. “This isn’t about what you’re wearing though, is it?” you asked.

“I just…don’t know a lot about Judaism. I’m afraid I’ll mess up or say the wrong thing and I don’t wanna make a bad first impression, you know?” He grimaced as you straightened his tie again.

“Do you not want to go to synagogue?” you asked.

“I do but…”

“Look, no one is expecting you to be an expert. My family knows you’re not Jewish but they find it endearing that you’re willing to spend this special time with us…with me.” You kissed him and he smiled nervously.

“Do you want me to wear the uh…kippah, right? Or is it yarmulke?” he asked.

You beamed at him, tears welling in your eyes. “Listen to you,” you said proudly. “My family practices Reform Judaism so it is optional.”

“Well, I read that it’s considered a sign of respect for a non-Jewish person to wear one in a synagogue so I’ll put it on…with your help.” He sat down and you stood in front of him and helped him with placement.

“Sometimes they stay put on their own. Let’s see…” You lowered your hands slowly. “Stand up and walk around a bit. Move your head around.” Frankie stood and walked and even jumped a few times. “You’re good to go.” You looked at your watch. “Uh oh, we should go. Grab the-"

“Menorah…got it,” he said proudly.

---

You walked to the synagogue, smiling over at Frankie every now and then. Your parents and siblings were already waiting out front for you. You all said your hellos and then you introduced Frankie. Your father smiled and shook his hand and placed his other hand over Frankie’s hand.

“Welcome.”

“Thank you, sir.” Frankie stayed behind you and your family as they walked into the synagogue where other families had begun to gather as well. He looked around in quiet admiration and you finally looked back at him.

“Hey,” you said. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “You know, I’ve lived here all my life and I’ve never been in here. I always felt as though it was off-limits to me.”

“It’s not off-limits to anyone. Come on.”

---

Throughout the night, you checked on Frankie but soon you realized that you didn’t have to. He fit in just fine, talking to other families, playing with the children.

He sat quietly through the prayers and seemed to love watching you all light your menorahs together. When you all sang songs, you tried your best to teach him the words and he tried his best to follow along.

“Still on,” he joked, pointing to his kippah as you all sat down and ate a few treats. His eyes widened. “This is delicious.” You laughed and just couldn’t believe how much he was enjoying himself.

When it was time for games, Frankie picked up a toy and proudly announced that he knew what it was. “A dreidel,” he said.

“The children usually play with those,” you told him and he frowned.

“Am I allowed to try?” he asked and you nodded.

“Of course.” You watched happily as he sat with the children and had them teach him what to do.

“He’s a good one,” your father said as he sat beside you.

“He is,” you agreed, smiling over at Frankie who was really focusing on his dreidel.

“Will we be seeing more of him?” your dad asked.

“Yes, I think you will.” Just then Frankie looked up and waved at you. “Actually, I’m sure you will.”

[traincat]

since forest hills is a historically jewish neighbourhood, i figure just even from a statistical standpoint there's bound to be at least a few existing spider-man related characters who are jewish. so is there anyone besides peter that you think could or should be jewish (like neighbours, classmates, any other supporting castmates who grew up in or nearby the area)?

There aren’t that many other Spider-Man characters who come from Forest Hills -- aside from the Parkers, it’s basically just Flash Thompson and Liz Allan. I think a Jewish reading of Flash Thompson is potentially interesting, but I don’t buy into it myself based on the information available in canon. (Like the MCU’s POC Flash, I think it’s potentially problematic given Flash’s canonical abusive family history, especially when he’s being used, as he very often is, to throw Peter into a better light. I also think Flash’s military history makes it less likely -- not that there aren’t Jews in the US military, but there’s a very different cultural push happening there with Flash.) I could buy Jewish Liz -- I think especially in a Jewish Osborns reading of canon -- but I’m a little wary of it because Liz’s whole thing in the early canon days are that she’s a rich girl, which is Jewish princess stereotype city. So it’s one of those situations where I would be warmer to a reading of the character in that light if Marvel the company was more open about 616 Peter’s extreme Jewish subtext. I think with both Flash and Liz it’s a situation where I feel like it’s very easy to view either or both of them as Jewish in the Lee/Ditko run, but then as canon evolved that reading became less and less relevant -- as opposed to Peter, where I think if anything the Jewish subtext continued to grow. As for extremely minor characters -- I think Sally Avril was probably Jewish, but this isn’t like, based on anything in particular so much as just a feeling.

I brought up Jewish Osborns a second ago, and I’m going to go ahead and double down on my belief that that’s a very valid reading of them in canon, although also inherently a problematic one when Peter himself is not hardline canonically Jewish -- particularly with Norman, who could very easily become the greedy Jew stereotype if viewed in that light. But one thing I’ve pointed out before is that the Osborn hair is a very real curl type people can have, and it is a curl type found in Ashkenazi Jewish people! I don’t think it’s the only read on the Osborns out there -- there’s a lot of mixed race Osborn theorizing I’ve seen and tragically I’m a big proponent of the Norman Osborn: Gay and Closeted theory -- but it’s something that I think is potentially interesting to play around with, but again, y’know, that’s if Peter is allowed to be a proud Jewish man playing off against a Jewish antagonist, and not “Protestant” like Marvel likes to pretend. I think if Norman is Jewish and Peter is not it’s extremely easy to fall into very antisemitic territory. (Meanwhile you know no one showed up to poor Harry’s Bar Mitzvah even though his dad rented out the Plaza.)

I don’t believe Felicia is from Forest Hills in 616, but she is from Queens! Spider-Man PS4 lists her birth place as Flushing, which is historically another big Jewish neighborhood. I like to joke that you know Peter’s Jewish because he dates a lot of shiksas, but I could pretty easily buy a Jewish Felicia Hardy. Same with Mary Jane -- born in Pittsburgh, but her father’s sister is the Parkers’ neighbor, so she’s got that Forest Hills connection, and I’m also not opposed to a Jewish MJ -- especially if, given her family history, it’s not a part of her life she ever put much stock in/harbored resentment against before she met Peter, and then married life opened up whole new doors for her. 

These are just my opinions, though! I think a lot of Jewish headcanons are valid and that everyone has different interpretations of the text -- I am very definite about my feelings about Peter being a Jewish character because there is so much text that adds up over the years, but with most other characters I think there’s a lot of wiggle room. I do usually lean a little towards a Jewish J Jonah Jameson, but I think that’s because Stan Lee put so much of himself into Jonah -- he’s got that real hardboiled New York Jewish man dialogue going and I love it. 

[piracytheorist]

I watched and react to Lindsay Ellis' 100 minute long "apology" video so you don't have to

First of all, the word apology is in quotes because she herself on that video mocks the whole concept of an apology video, which is fair cause truly that whole concept is fucked up, but I didn't want to call it excusing either because that's not what she does either... for some parts. Long post ahead.

So into the video, homegirl starts by saying she was recently in a restaurant. Recently. Restaurant. I'm not gonna make a deep research to find out where she lives, she mentions she's from Tennessee but idk if that's where she lives now, so unless she's somewhere in like Australia or New Zealand or any other place with significantly low numbers of covid cases... what is she doing, not only going into a restaurant during a fucking pandemic, but also telling it to her entire 1 million subscribers specifically and the whole world in general? I think it shouldn't be said it's irresponsible as it is, it's also a bit insensitive considering so many of us don't get to have that kind of luxury as it is now, either as customers that don't get to enjoy an evening/night out or as restaurant owners that watch their businesses collapse. Small thing to complain, but still.

That said, personal note, because I know some of my followers live down there in Australia or New Zealand; I'm happy for you, but I'm also jealous, and in a weird way right now being in a country with few covid cases is kind of a privilege. So enjoy that for yourselves.

Ok, second, introducing the concept of cancel culture, she goes on to talk about some cases where two white people made some well-intended but overall insensitive jokes and she talked about how their behaviour was, particularly, white privilege. Ignoring the fact that she's showing her own privilege by saying that she went at a restaurant during a pandemic, she says it all in the whole meaning of how cancel culture focuses on targeting, bullying and verbally lynching a person who acted on their privilege instead of looking out to tell them "Yo what you did was shitty but look out to do better" and how that either originates or is strengthened by nazis who pretend to be cool progressive lesbians of colour on twitter (that latter part is my own description, but similar to what Lindsay said). And the whole point about cancel culture is valid - she the use of the ol' "Listen to voices of POC" and that it is not valid because behind those "Queer progressive POC" accounts hide nazis... but she ignores the fact that another way to see that is "Are you white? Have you considered shutting the fuck up?"

And I say that as a white woman myself. I am very well aware that there are topics I cannot touch upon. Like, I have my thoughts, ok? About all races, religions (at least the major ones), sexualities, gender expressions. I can't help the thoughts... but I try my best to control my actions. There are times that I think something and I go like "Wow, can you realize how much the internet would drag you if you said that on a post?" so I shut the fuck up because a) I recognize my privilege and b) I'm mostly uneducated on most things I may have problematic thoughts on. Lindsay... idk exactly how educated she is, I know she has degrees, but in this case that doesn't seem to matter because she doesn't seem to have the concept of Shutting the Fuck Up White Person. That's what the "Listen to voices of POC" started for. Because historically POC have been the ones to be silenced and ignored by white people. So it doesn't matter if you're a woman, if you're bisexual, if you're educated, whatever whatever. If it's not your area, learn to shut the fuck up. And it's there that the problem begins, that Lindsay doesn't seem to get that idea.

Later on she says that a person on twitter compiled a thread of Lindsay's "sins" aka screenshots of problematic (or not) tweets, and though she (tbh rightfully so) considers making that compilation weird and creepy, she goes on to address every tweet on that thread.

I'm not gonna go down all of them cause from my judgement, some were legitimately very far-fetched to make her look problematic. And look, I don't think she's problematic. It's just that she has a lot to say and sometimes it feels like she has a need to say it all.

At the beginning, she mentions that twitter is garbage. Which, agreed, I've hateposted about that hellsite tons of times. But she's been knew it was. She had people bully her about her tweets before, and she kept at it, white person speaking, and like at some point you're like... is it fucking worth it? You know twitter is garbage. Is the clout you'll make on it worth it? You know people will judge you. You know they will take your sayings out of context. You know there are people obsessively following your page just to spot the tiniest piece of stuff you didn't think three hours on before posting so that they can crucify you over it. You been knew, we been knew. So I'm asking again, is it fucking worth it?

She even said it wasn't the first time she was cancelled, it's just that this last time has been the biggest one (... yet). So... why are people fucking obsessed with that fucking site? I'm a former bully victim, I detest and oppose bullying of any kind, but after a point, when you see a minefield, you gotta know that if you go skipping around without a second thought... ya gonna get hit. I may understand some people staying on twitter out of spite and/or in the hopes of "fixing" it... but again that's kinda hopeless and we all know that. There’s a saying in Greek that translates to “No matter how sugar you pour on it, shit won’t turn into lokum.” And that’s exactly what twitter is. Shit that people try to make functioning. It won’t.

I know the Shut The Fuck Up may be a bit excessive but... we all have opinions, yeah? It's a bit frustrating too considering she makes long videos that clearly have a lot of thought put into them, and then she goes on twitter and posts whatever the fuck comes up in her mind like... you should know better. In a way, Shutting The Fuck Up is also a way to avoid being seen as a bigot when you're not. Let oppressed groups do the talking for you, 'kay?

On another "receipt" she admits she was wrong, quote: "It was insensitive and careless. I definitely should not have said that." At the same time she says that she was influenced by her environment, and she also doesn't actually apologize. In a way she's sincere because a good sociopath would have searched and found that a good apology includes the words "I'm sorry" or some variation, and not trying to explain yourself by the circumstances surrounding you. So, it's sincere, but it feels a bit void. No-one cares what brought you to do this, we only care to see if you’ve changed from that.

I'm also putting the word receipt in quotes because I just think the whole concept of "receipts" is fucking weird, and as I said, some of them are completely pointless and taken out of context to make Lindsay look like the next Hitler. But I don't have another word for it so I'll go with that.

The next "receipt" is about her tweeting about the film The Prince of Egypt and mentioning the scene of killing the Egyptian first-borns, and being accused for anti-semitism because of it. First of all, your problem there ain't the film, it's the Bible, a work that was created by people who thought that a woman is a man's property, and then later on translated and modified by people with similar or worse problematic ideologies. The Prince of Egypt is a film that is inspired by the book of Exodus but at the same time... it doesn't fully excuse the plagues. They're portrayed as a necessarily evil, but whether that bothers you or not depends on whatever your relationship is to God and the fact that he allows covid to be a thing right now. But on the video, Lindsay talks about the portrayal of the plagues and how they're excused so that the Jewish people can be free.

But... it feels a bit... maybe she hasn't watched the full film in some time, and considering she doesn't really like it, I understand why she's making the mistakes on thinking it does. Yes, the film shows the plagues as a necessary evil. But the whole song The Plagues is about Moses being torn in two about the whole thing. "And even now I wish that God had chose another. Serving as your foe on his behalf is the last thing that I wanted." When he warns Rameses about the last plague, the "camera" shows the depiction of the previous massacre of the Jewish children... and Rameses' son is at the bottom of the children being dropped in the water.

It not only foreshadows the boy's death, it also compares the two massacres. It's like "Your father did that to the Jewish people, so the God of the Jewish people will do the same to your people." The scene where the Egyptian first-borns are being killed is haunting. It's dark, without music, eerie... you're not supposed to be happy about it. So I don't see how all that's excusing. In a way, to a people that at the time was enslaved and even now still faces discrimination, it could feel like vengeance. There's a big talk about morals that can be done there but again; WE'RE WHITE. We should consider shutting the fuck up. At least on our own, if talked about with someone who’s part of Jewish culture, that’s another thing.

Lindsay also says that in the film it looks weird that from the moment we see Rameses lamenting the loss of his son, the film cuts to the Jewish people singing about Miracles. And like... again I guess she hasn't seen the movie in some time, cause that's plain out wrong. At the time Moses sees that the son is dead, he already looks depressed. When he hears the cries of the people crying for their children, he breaks down and cries too. When the Jewish people walk out and sing for not being slaves anymore, that's when he starts smiling a little, and more when they're finally out of Rameses' kingdom. And again, it's about the liberation of an enslaved people whose culture we're not presently a part of. Like, the death of the Egyptian children was a bad thing - in retaliation of the same thing happening to the Jewish babies - but whether it’s being excused or not has context behind it.

I'm also talking a lot about it because she mentions she likes the film Noah from 2014, and she shows a small clip from the flood scene where the people on the Ark are depressed (that's not the right word but I can't find it right now) because they witness the deaths of the people who weren't on. I haven't seen the film, so I don't know how much that impacts the survivors later, but she's completely ignoring the fact that The Prince of Egypt also frames the death of the first-borns as tragic and that also Moses breaks down over it.

On my own opinion; I'm agnostic and anarchist af so while I also disagree with the depictions and the actions that God took to free the Jewish people... it's a fucking fantastic film. Animation, voice acting, music, directing... But at the same time, I've watched a bit of her videos and I may be a bit sarcastic here but I don't trust the taste of anyone who watches Treasure Planet and only refers to it as "Disney's space pirate flop" instead of the underrated masterpiece that it is. But I'm also mentioning it not-so-sarcastically, because underappreciated as it is (because Disney deliberately made it flop by the way), Treasure Planet has not had a widely massive impact. Speaking as someone who adores Treasure Planet, it has had a huge impact... to those few who've watched it. So while I meh'ed at her calling Treasure Planet what she did, it was just that; a meh.

But The Prince of Egypt? It has had an impact on ME, an agnostic anarchist. I cannot even begin to imagine what impact it has had on the millions of Jewish people worldwide. So when someone who has studied Media (or whatever, I'm not gonna search through the "Lindsay Ellis is cancelled" results on gοοgle just to see what she has studied), and decides to make a... while a bit understandable, not so well-studied critique on a film with that kind of impact... Have you considered Shutting the Fuck Up? She says that on twitter, she got responses on said tweet where people talked about how important that film is to them. Is that what she needed, to learn about this film's impact? For her to not know that... it's a bit hard to accidentally be that blind about that aspect, especially with her studies.

It's once again difficult territory to wade through - and she deliberately placed herself in it. And as I said, her problem is with the Bible. Not with the film.

So... yeah. I don't think it was anti-semitism on her part, but definitely not a good, well-thought move to make.

Next is her talking about the time she wore a niqab in a non offensive (I guess) way on an old video. She mentions she addressed it on a stream where they laughed about how... cringe-y of the time the whole concept of the video was. And again, the "Not thinking before acting" as well as White Privilege comes out, both in the video and in the way she presents the circumstances behind it. What inspired her to do it doesn't fucking matter. What matters is that she didn't think. Though she says she regrets it, she seems she only does so because she got responses from Muslim followers that told her "Please don't do that." Again, the fact that she needed someone else to say it... that's uninformed. And honestly, when you have such a following, you have a responsibility to know better. Money from patreon and youtube ads carry that. She does say she regrets it though.

Next, is her being called out for her "Dear Stephenie Meyer" video. In it basically she talks about how a lot of the earlier hate for Twilight was because of the fact that society hates teen girls and hates what they like and consider it inferior, and since a lot of teen girls like Twilight, the society had to hate Twilight. At the end of the video, she even said "I'm sorry" towards Meyer. That's a very quick summary and she had some good points, but this is Stephenie Meyer we’re talking about.

Oof. There's a LOT to unpack here.

For those of you who don't know, Twilight as a whole franchise has a ton of issues with racism, particularly against indigenous people and the very real, existing Quileute tribe. Lindsay says that at the time she made that video (2018), the backlash on Meyer was not so much about said racism. And boy, that's plain out wrong. She just didn't do enough research for it. And again, it's not deliberate. I'm not accusing Lindsay of racism. But Twilight was problematic (and even I as a semi-follower of the Twilight Rennaisance, as well as most of the fellow fans I've seen, admit that openly and we hate Meyer for it), and as I had watched that video, I know she did research on it. I find it outright impossible that a search for "Twilight criticism" wouldn't turn up some mentions about the Quileute racism, especially in 2018 with the fandom’s resurgence. There's an entire page from the Burke Museum in Seattle talking about the misconceptions of the tribe in the books and how little benefit the tribe has seen from having their culture appropriated by a white woman. Saying that it wasn't a common criticism is either a poorly put lie or an open confession that she didn't search much. Maybe she only searched about Stephenie Meyer and misogyny. I don't know.

Look, it is true that at the time of late 2000′s, the criticism was what Lindsay said; all about hating teen girls. I'm sure that there was criticism on the racism, but it was either less promoted or was trumped by the former type. But ignoring it completely, when at the time she made that video the criticism on racism was already getting more and more recognition... just why, Lindsay?

So again, I don't think it's deliberate. But it's poor pre-thought, poor work on it, and again when you have such a big following (and while Lindsay keeps saying how she's not that much famous on youtube, when you have a million subscribers and ten thousand patrons... ya ain't unheard of either) you have a responsibility to know better and research better before you do anything on it. Youtube is Lindsay's job, and she doesn't do a very good job at it when it comes to recognizing her white privilege and working beyond it.

Then she says that she talked with some indigenous (she doesn't mention they're Quileute btw) people about it; some said they hated the depiction, some said they liked that they were represented. Although why you would like to be represented by Jacob in Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, I have no fucking clue. In any case, it feels like because there were indigenous (no mention of Quileute talking with her, again) people who were okay with the inclusion, she felt that it was okay to make the whole Meyer apologia video without a single mention to the racism fact.

She also showed a video of a Quileute woman talking about how after Twilight, they were able to get back land that was taken from them. Given back by Obama, by the way. And... including this clip feels like... an excuse. Saying that Twilight, despite being racist, was somehow okay because it brought attention to the real Quileute tribe, and I hope y'all see why that is messed up. Meyer could have handled the issue better, and included the characters with much more respect and given them credit and some idk money from the millions she made appropriating their culture (though Lindsay mentions that last thing), but Lindsay thought that apologizing to Meyer anyway for being against her due to internalized misogyny in the late 2000's was the right move. It is true that at the late 2000's little of the known criticism was about the racism, but it's still a big fucking problem and purposefully ignoring that to apologize to Meyer... not a good look.

Again, blind due to white privilege, and acting without trying to see the whole picture. She says that Meyer, a white, rich, Mormon woman does not deserve the harassment she got, and again I'm against bullying but like... Meyer fucking sucks, and we ought to at least recognize that. She's not the one who deserves an apology - the Twilight fans *cough*me!me!me!*cough* who just wanted to enjoy the books and films (horrible as they were) in peace are.

By the way, the Quileute tribe has a fundraiser so that they can move their land to a higher ground where they won't be affected by tsunamis (and to her credit, Lindsay mentioned it and shared the link, but she said that another youtuber brought that to her attention, and again, where's the fucking research, Lindsay, pretty much every Twilight Renaissance post I've seen about the anti-indigenous attitude mentions that fundraiser and you're telling me it didn't come up in your searches) so if you can donate you definitely should: mthg.org

I mention around how Lindsay doesn't say "I'm sorry", and while as most people, I'd rather have no apology that a performative apology, it feels a little icky, that while she recognizes some of her screw-ups... I'm not sure if she recognizes that said screw-ups that-veer-towards-but-are-not-exactly-or-intentionally racism, ableism, anti-semitism, and transphobia... that shit is the shit twitter nazis thrive off of - and not to cancel people, but to build their own bigotry and take the attention away from actual hate crimes happening. And as a youtuber with a million subscribers and ten thousand patreon supporters, again, she should recognize her privileges a little more. Am I blaming her for nazis using her poorly thought tweets? Should she be super duper careful and spend a lot of time on her tweets to make sure nothing remotely problematic is on them?

... I mean, why the fuck do y’all think I hate twitter?

Next, she mentions being called out for "saying" that "trans-men are less oppressed than cis women" which she says is not what she said, but instead that "she's spoken to trans men who told her that they experience less misogyny after coming out". She even openly mentions it as "anecdotal" in her original tweet. And while I get that, my question is.... what's your fucking business about it? You're cis, shut the fuck up, let trans people talk about it.

Like, fuck. We haven't reached a time where acceptance of LGBTQ+ people, especially trans people, is at such a high that cis people by themselves can openly discuss about the experiences of trans people. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Just show your support for trans people, let them do the talk about their lives and experiences, and share their content if you want your followers to know about trans experiences. If trans men experience less misogyny after coming out (and like, I understand why that would happen in some cases), that's not your area to gather twitter clout from. Think before you tweet.

~

TW: suicide mention, skip to after the ~ symbols if you want to avoid.

Next one is not problematic, it's just proof that Lindsay has no filter on twitter... which is probably the core of all the issues on this post. So condensing the whole thing; a Zack Snyder fan said "I don't like when people say that Zack Snyder hates his mother". A film critic was discussing with Lindsay about Snyder fans, and Lindsay, having never seen any Snyder fan actually say what the fan above said, responded in an obviously sarcastic way "I have it on good authority that Zack Snyder hates his mother." The next day, Zack Snyder's daughter killed herself, and twitter flooded to hate on Lindsay. Of course by the video, Lindsay seems to be upset by the whole thing and how bad the timing was for the post she made - and it is irrational to blame her on that. But! Zack Snyder's mother died in 2010, btw, from what I saw, and like... I think that some discussions around celebrities should be kept private, and this specific conversation between Lindsay and the film critic should have been private. Again, not problematic, but seems to show how Lindsay doesn't think before tweeting.

~

~

Next, she admits she was wrong about defending yellowface on the film Cloud Atlas and saying that it wasn't as bad as blackface. "My bad", no "I'm sorry". Again I don't know if an apology is what I "wanted", after all I'm also a privileged white woman, but idk some recognition that stuff like what she said are what twitter nazis thrive off of would have been nice. Because again, the good intention is there, especially by acknowledging how bad blackface is.

Anyway, some final thoughts, no I don't think she's problematic, or racist, or transphobic, or anything the twitter nazis like to label her as. I just think she's bad at tweeting (like many many people including yours truly, twitter sucks we've established that), and that as a youtuber with such an audience, she should understand her privileges a little more. Though she said she’ll step off from twitter and only use it to promote her books and other creators, so she did learn something from that.

As I said, we all have problematic thoughts. We all think of stuff that, if given a bit more thought, we’ll go like “why the fuck am I like this”. Our actions, on the other hand, is something fully on our control. And twitter thrives on people not putting too much thought on their actions, and letting their quick thoughts control them.

In conclusion, know your privilege, fuck twitter, and STAY THE FUCK AT HOME (except for you, Aussies and Kiwis, go all out - literally)

[babybluebex]

revelations

pairing: spencer reid x fem reader (y/n)

summary: rewrite of “revelations”. y/n and spencer have to navigate what happens when their lives are threatened and ultimately taken away.

word count: 2800+

warnings: season 2 reid, drugging, mentions of r*pe

a/n: this one is a little heavy, so sorry about it. the next part will be happier, i swear. pls don’t hate me :(

“We have an unsub,” Gideon began. When we first met nearly three long years ago, I never anticipated that Jason Gideon would give me away to Spencer at our wedding. We had decided to get married spontaneously after work one day, employing Gideon to be our legal witness as we  went to a small courthouse in nearby Montclair to elope. He told me how odd it was now to call me Mrs. Reid, but he said that the title suited me well. “That’s targeting young men.”

“Who doesn’t?” JJ scoffed.  

“Yes, but he’s a bit different,” Gideon said. “He targets young fathers. All of the victims were between the ages of 25 and 30 and had children that were born within three months of their murder. When interviewed, every mother revealed that their babies had been conceived out of wedlock.” 

“What’s that mean?” Spencer asked with a gaze full of curiosity. 

JJ laughed. “Spence, you of all people should know what that is,” she said. 

“Why, because I’m a genius?” Spencer asked with a smirk. “Contrary to what you think, JJ, I don’t know everything.” 

“No,” I replied with a sweet smile. “You should know what that is because Baby was conceived out of wedlock.” I gently patted my swelling tummy, and Spencer’s face flushed with embarrassment. 

“Oh,”  he said. “Noted.” 

“It seems like our unsub has a religious motive,” Gideon said. “Maybe targeting those who live in sin. Hotch, see if you can find anything in the crime scenes that might connect to Christianity in any way.” 

“Why specifically Christianity?” I asked. 

“Most people that are committed of murder and incarcerated in America are Christian,” Spencer began. “There are more documented cases of a crime scene being labeled with words like ‘Satan’ or people saying that God told them to, and other Christian imagery; you hardly see Islamic or Jewish intentions behind killings like this.” 

“So, it’s usually Christians?” I clarified. “But factor in a margin of error--” 

“The margin is small enough to make looking for exclusively Christian material viable,” Spencer replied. He gave me his tight lipped Muppet smile, and I couldn’t help but smile back. 

“Fine, you out-logiced me,” I sighed. “What’s that, the third time this week?”

“Fourth,” Morgan said with a chuckle. “Five, if you count the coffee jab on Monday.” 

“The doctor said it was fine!” I exclaimed. “Just a little every so often!”

“But statistically--” Spencer began. 

“I love you to pieces,” I sighed. “But if you give me another statistic right now, I will kill you, Dr. Reid.” 

“Fine,” Spencer said. “If you say so, Mrs. Reid.” 

“Garcia’s working on finding a common link other than the obvious,” Gideon said. “Reid, I want you to talk to the mothers again; maybe you might be able to get something out of them that the others haven’t. And Reid… Doctor, start on a geographic profile. Focus on churches of stricter denominations in the area.” With that, we all got up to depart off to our work. 

“How’re you today?” Spencer asked, taking my hand to help me out of my chair. At six months, I had a significant bump that made maneuvering around difficult, and it was no wonder that Gideon assigned me to interview the mothers. I was as certain as he was that I could get some hidden information out of them that Hotch or the non-pregnant Elle just couldn’t. People usually reacted differently to a pregnant woman in normal circumstances as well, so it was a safe bet. 

“Just the normal,” I replied.

“Back ache, headaches,” Spencer began listing off all of my normal symptoms. “Hungry?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I have crackers on my desk.”

“Good ole’ JJ,” Spencer chuckled. “Are you… Are you alright to work on this case?”

“Of course,” I said. “I’ve had to work worse cases.”

“But not when you’re…” Spencer began and struggled for words. “As emotional as you are now.”

“Maybe I can use that to my advantage,” I said. “Not everything has to be a setback, Spence.”

“If you’re really not alright with it, I can talk to Gideon,” Spencer said. 

I gently patted his cheek. “I’m a big girl, my love,” I told him. “I can do it. But I am fine, I promise.”

“Hey there,” I said, entering the cool interrogation room. The young woman’s eyes locked onto my stomach immediately, and her shoulders fell from their defensive position. “My name’s Special Agent Y/N Reid, I just want to ask you a few questions. Is that alright, Mrs. Barder?”

“Miss,” the woman said softly. “Yes, that’s alright.”

“Oh, sorry about that,” I said. “Umm, call me Reid. It’s easier. So, what can you tell me about Travis?”

She sighed. The file said her name was Elizabeth, but I was waiting for her to tell me that. People tended to be more personable when they were under the impression that you knew only what they told you. “He was nice,” she said and shrugged. “A good boyfriend, a good father.” 

I nodded gently. “Explain that to me,” I said. “What constitutes a good father to you?”

Elizabeth shrugged again. I could tell by her body language, the raised shoulders and folded arms, that she was holding back and not allowing herself to become too comfortable with the environment. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I knew that I needed to get whatever information she was withholding out of her. “He helped me as much as he could,” she said finally. “When I was pregnant, he never complained when I flew off the handle, ya know? And he got up in the middle of the night to change Pammy’s diaper, he always let me sleep.”

I smiled. “Pammy’s a nice name,” I said. “And that’s your daughter?”

Elizabeth nodded. “We named her after my mom,” she said softly. Volunteering information that I hadn’t asked for was good. Her walls were coming down, brick by brick. 

“That’s really sweet,” I said. “We don’t know the little one’s gender yet, but, if it’s a boy, we’re naming him Gideon after a close friend.” 

“And if it’s a girl?” Elizabeth asked eagerly. 

“Erin,” I replied. “Another close friend of ours.” 

“That’s really nice,” Elizabeth said. “But, umm, yeah, Trav was good. He volunteered at our church a lot, and it was nice to have all of them behind us.” 

Nowhere in earlier interviews did she mention a church. I nodded and made a small note of it, and I asked, “Was it a big church?”

“Not really,” Elizabeth said. “Big for the backwoods, but not huge. Maybe 100 people altogether.”

“That sounds nice,” I said. “What’s the name of the church for me, please?”

“Mount Zion,” Elizabeth told me. “It’s nondenominational, but Christian.”

“Alright,” I nodded. “And no offense is meant by this question, but I’m required to ask: did your boyfriend ever do anything strange? Like, suspicious with money or hanging out with weird people?” A moment passed, and I added, “If someone asked me that about my husband, I’d freak, so I understand if this question makes you uncomfortable.”

Elizabeth looked at her hands as she thought, and mumbled, “He went out to get drinks a few weeks before he…” she cleared her throat and said, “Ya know, before he… Died. It was a group of them from church just hanging out, but Trav mentioned that a new guy tagged along that was really strange.”

I sat up straighter. “Alright,” I said slowly. “Strange how? Did Travis describe it?”

“He just said that he was really off-putting,” Elizabeth told me. 

“His name?” I asked. “If you don’t know, that’s totally okay.”

“Something with a T,” Elizabeth said. “And the last name was weird too.” I couldn’t blame her for not remembering; if my pregnancy brain was any indication of the years to come, I would be forgetting a lot too. “Toby… Maybe? Toby?”

I wrote down Toby ?. “Okay,” I said. “Did Toby go to the church?”

“He visited,” Elizabeth said. “He was a strange-looking guy. Looked like the guy from Dawson’s Creek, ya know? I would have remembered seeing him before.” A moment passed, and she said “Hankel.”

Toby Hankel. “How certain are you that that’s the name?” I asked. 

“I’m certain it’s Hankel,” Elizabeth said. “But shaky about the Toby part. I know it’s a T name, but it’s not coming to me.”

I nodded. “Right,” I said. “Well, Miss Barder, this has been extremely helpful. I’m gonna give you my phone number in case you can come up with that name or anything else that might help us with the investigation, and you can call day or night. As I’m sure you can gather, I’m always awake.”

Elizabeth chuckled. “Thanks,” she said. “Agent Reid, right?”

“Right,” I told her. I gave her one of my business cards and at the last moment noticed that it was one of Spencer’s. It shouldn’t have surprised me; I wore his jacket instead of my own. “Oh, whoops, that’s my husband’s card. I don’t have any of mine on me, but call that cell number and ask for me, and you’ll get me.”

Elizabeth looked at the card. “Dr. Spencer Reid,” she read. “You’re married to a doctor?” 

“Not the useful kind,” I joked. “Mathematics degree, among others. He’s a nerd and a half.” 

“He sounds good,” Elizabeth told me softly. 

I carefully reached out and put a gentle hand on top of hers, and I said, “I know how hard this sucks, but I promise that Travis would be proud of you. You’re being so brave right now.”

Elizabeth sniffled. “Thanks,” she said. “That means a lot.”

Just as I was nodding, the door flew open, and a startled Hotch stood at the door. “Reid, we need you,” he said. “Now.” 

“Yeah, I’m almost finished,” I replied. “I’ll be right there.” 

“No, Y/N,” Hotch said firmly. He always used my last name, never my first. “We need you. Right now.”

“Hold on,” I said back. 

“It’s about Spencer,” Hotch said, and I froze. “We need you now.”

I nodded slowly. “Agent Hotchner, could you show Miss Barder out?” I asked softly. “And, uh, where does the Doc need me?” 

“Garcia’s office,” Hotch said. “Gideon’s already there.” 

I took a deep breath. “Well, uh, sorry to dip out,” I told Elizabeth. “But it was nice meeting you. I hope to see you again.”

My footsteps fell heavy in the hallway as I made my way to Garcia’s office. As I walked, my mind raced, trying to think why Hotch had been so cross with me. Was Spencer in trouble? Hurt? I knew that I was overreacting, but the thought of it made me walk just a bit faster. 

I pushed the door to Garcia’s dark office open, and I moved up next to Gideon. He was watching the computer screens intently, Elle at his side, and Garcia in her chair. Every single screen displayed a single image of my husband bound and gagged to a wooden chair, a small red light blinking every so often on his darkened form. “Gideon,” I whispered in horror. “What is this?” 

“Livestream,” Garcia answered in a hushed tone. “We can’t figure out where it’s coming from, the stream reroutes IP addresses every 30 seconds.”

“And we’re sure it’s live?” I asked. “I didn’t even know Spence had gone out into the field.”

“Neither did any of us,” Gideon told me. Carefully, his arm wrapped around my waist comfortingly, and I let out a single sob. I couldn’t see the video too well, but I saw Spencer sitting there, his head bent down, his hair in his face. His arms were tied roughly to the arms of the chair, missing his shoes, a tear in his shirt. 

“Is he alive?” I whimpered out. 

“Yes,” Gideon told me, and pointed at Spencer’s chest. It was moving, although shallowly, but it gave me hope. 

“Where is he?” I asked. “Who did this to him?”

“Okay, Gideon, she needs to get out of here,” Elle began, but I shook my head. 

“No,” I said, my tears streaming down my face. “I need to stay.” I saw her watch my hand as it covered my belly, and she nodded quietly. 

My eyes were glued to the screen as we all watched Spencer sit there. I couldn’t tell if he was conscious or not, and I couldn’t figure out which was worse. Finally, after standing there for what felt like days, the camera began to shake as someone picked it up. They moved it closer to Spencer and, with the angle change, came a new view. Spencer’s eyes were open, his mouth gulping in air as quickly as he could. His lip was bleeding, the blood pooling in his lap, and he let out a guttural gurgle as the person behind the camera grabbed a fistful of his curls and forced his head back. I watched him sputter out a mouthful of saliva and begin to choke on it, but he recovered quickly. “You think she’s watching?” a voice behind the camera asked. “You think they’re all watching?”

“Don’t you dare talk about my wife,” Spencer said with gritted teeth. A cold flash raced through my body and I tensed up in Gideon’s embrace. Whoever this man was holding Spencer hostage, he knew about me. 

“Oh, she’s your wife?” the man asked. “Where was that title when you got her pregnant?”

“Leave her out of this,” Spencer said, his bottom lip shining with spit and blood. “Whatever issue you have, it’s with me.”

“Haven’t you heard that saying, Doctor?” the man asked. “It takes two to tango?”

Spencer’s eyes finally fell on the camera, and his Adam’s apple throbbed as he struggled to swallow. “Where’s that video going?” he asked.

“To her,” the man said. “So that she can watch.”

Spencer began to breath frantically, his chest heaving, and he whispered, “I’m so sorry.” 

“Anything you have to say to her,” the man said. “You can say to God. No need to be quiet, Doctor.” 

“This has nothing to do with her,” Spencer said quickly. “It’s my fault, it’s my fault.” I saw tears on his cheeks, and he squeezed his eyes shut. “It’s my fucking fault.” 

“Admit your sins to God, boy,” the man told him. 

Spencer’s eyes opened. This time, he looked above him, and he began to weep. I had never seen Spencer cry like that, and it made me sick to my stomach. “I did this to her,” he mumbled. “I came home and I was drunk, and she didn’t-- She didn’t ask for this.” 

I shook my head violently as I bit my finger. He was lying. Why would he lie? 

“Y/N?” Elle whispered. “Is that true?”

“No,” I said quickly. “He never has and he never would.”

“So why’d he say it?” Elle asked. “To let his torturer hear what he wants to?”

I watched the screen for a few seconds more before whispering, “To send us a message.”

“You know what I think, Doctor?” the man asked, and the camera steadied as he put it down. “I think you’re a lying degenerate.” There was the sound of clinking glass, and Spencer took a deep breath. 

“Why would I lie about raping my wife?” He asked through clenched teeth.

“To save her,” the man said. “If you sinned, that’s one thing. If she did, I would have to find her too. And your child--”

“Don’t fucking talk about my child!” Spencer yelled. I had never heard him so frantic and angry. 

“Far too hostile,” the man said, clicking his tongue in disapproval. “Maybe this’ll calm you down.” Behind the camera, the sound of leather against cloth sounded, and Spencer began to thrash in his seat. 

“Please don’t,” he whimpered, all of his anger gone. “Please, I--” Before he could get any more words out, the man moved in front of the camera and began to secure a belt around the top of Spencer’s arm. I saw a light gleam off of a thin hypodermic needle, and I watched as the man sank the needle into Spencer’s arm and administered a drug to him. 

I rushed out of the office and collapsed on the floor. I felt sick and dizzy, and I didn’t even want to try to go back to the real world. My Spencer was being beaten and tortured, and we were no closer to finding him than before. It was enough to make me scream, and I did. Gideon was next to me in a second, putting his jacket around my shoulders and trying to help me up, but my legs were too weak to carry me. Gideon swiftly pulled me up into his embrace and carried me to his office, where it was quiet and cold. I curled up on his couch and cried, sobbing and choking and praying to a God that I didn’t believe in that Spencer would be okay. And if okay meant that he died to stop his suffering, then so be it.