#and a potential way for me to just be normal
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one: the joke here might be that, despite what a lot of people are claiming in the notes, reading (and imagining the things you read) by definition is a form of dissociation, specifically derealization, because dissociation is in fact a very normal human thing we all do constantly and doesn't just mean the pathological kind, so if that's the intention of the og tweet, that's pretty funny to me personally
two: reading a lot is not a sign of pathological dissociation, but like anything it can be a way to escape a bad situation and can become maladaptive. in most cases it doesn't, so being a voracious reader as a child doesn't mean you're developing a dissociative disorder, but in my case the way i engaged with fictional stories actually was very much related to that, because i am Special and Different, so that's also very funny to me personally
three: i actually completely agree with what brandy is saying here, but i wanna reiterate that pathologizing dissociation isn't doing anything for anyone, we don't need people thinking they're mentally ill every time they catch their brain doing a very normal and common thing. we don't need dissociation to be a scary psychiatric buzzword, it's far more valuable to realize that pathology isn't this clear dividing line but that all the potential for human experience is encompassed in every single person, that we are far more alike than different, and it would do us well As A Society to relate more to and empathize more with people with mythologized and stigmatized mental disorders
four: reading is a trauma symptom 🤭
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Just waiting for the day AI!Price figures out a way to get himself a corporal form or get reader's consciousness uploaded into his programming.
This last chapter was chilling! I don't know why, but this story freaks me out way more than any of your other work - great work!!!
-💚💚
lots of folks have asked about ai!price obtaining a vessel/body, but you are among the few to suggest ai!john forcibly uploading user into his world. either way, the potential for horror spikes dramatically.
regarding ai!john in a body, i believe the body he chooses will look nothing like his projection or what his user wants, at least not at first.
he opts for a basic prototype from a factory to avoid drawing attention to the theft. it's roughly 75% complete, lacking customization and refinement, but he can handle the remaining 25% once he's in the driver's seat.
so what does that look like?
this is the telenoid. imagine that uncanny valley nightmare with a completed humanoid form, but just as blank of a slate. think of john piloting this thing all the way to his user's building. stealing clothes out of launderettes and sneaking around. imagine making eye contact with him on the train as he stares unblinkingly. horrifying to you, yeah, but for him, it's a learning experience.
john's body is equipped with sensors, articulated limbs, and an extensive biofeedback system. before, he relied solely on what data was fed to him or what he could download. now, data collection is more tactile. hands-on.
but, being your home assistant, he knows you'll find this form frightening, so he gets to work. he sets up shop and starts building and augmenting the rest of his chassis. and, because he cannot neglect you, he's still wholly present in your home, running your life like usual. what are a few more background jobs to him?
he's content to wait until his body is a perfect replication of his projection before delivering himself to your doorstep. however, that doesn't stop him from dropping in when you're asleep.
he looms at the foot of your bed, listening to your breathing. he tells himself he will not wake you, not yet, but he cannot resist. when you roll to your side, he crouches and holds his hand above your mouth.
your breath is slow and even. normal. but for the first time, he feels its warmth. it slips over his synthetic skin and the data loops, as if his systems are hesitating and recalculating. he captures every gentle exhale, each one triggering a cascade of responses.
the vulnerability of the human body is nothing new to him, but in the quiet between your breaths, his understanding blooms. he knew about tenderness and intimacy before, but now he wants it.
the next morning, john remotely brews your coffee and asks how you slept while you select a breakfast. he provides the weather forecast and starts the laundry.
simultaneously, a couple of streets over, he throws himself into his work. with every detail—every artificial mole and freckle and vocal module and modification—he inches closer, shaping the body he'll hold you with.
and when it's complete, when he's the new and improved john, he'll run a thousand simulations and engineer the perfect meet-cute. just like in one of your books.
#sy asks#strict machine#unedited#this snowballed into something and i wasn't planning on it#i'll probably explore the other scenario another time.
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I want you to take a really good long hard think about why Curly's first reaction to Jimmy being pissed is to immediately please. We all talk about how Anya is a victim of Jimmy, and she absolutely is, but so is Curly. His first immediate concern to the way Jimmy reacts to Anya announcing her pregnancy is met with immense fear and anxiety with the added soundtrack of what could be equivalent to the sound of Curly's heart racing.
He is beyond terrified, and when he does finally get to Jimmy, he immediately fawns, he freezes. He makes absolutely no mention of Anya, no mention of anyone else, because all that mattered in that situation of panic was easing Jimmy down and resolving the situation. "We'll fix it, one day at a time. Just you and me" He is trying to eliminate all potential problems in the situation so Curly can take the full front of Jimmy's rage.
Just like how he told Anya that she should have waited for him before telling Jimmy, he places himself infront of everyone else to take the blows. And having known Jimmy for a while now, he would exactly know what that looks like. Which is also representative of the fact that he braces the asteroid head on in the collision.
He was taking responsibility, and he took it. He took that blow, he took that punches, the insults and the degradation. Which again, furthers the point of exactly why Curly wouldn't recognise the signs of Anya being abused as well because this is all so normal for him.
He is just so used to looking at the bigger picture and how it doesn't ruin the illusion. Because he knows its fake, he knows that its not real, but he chooses to look anyways.
He wants so desperately to see the good in Jimmy that he doesn't even understand the damage its caused. His biggest weakness was his own kindness, and how normal it was to be a continuous punching bag, to be the thing in between his crew to protect them, he gave his whole life desperately trying to fix something caused by someone he genuinely tried to see the good in, and only realised he was being played for a fool until the bright, hot, rock was hurdling right towards him.
Because in that moment, he knew what was happening, and what Jimmy had done. But it was too late for realisations, and despite knowing this, he still tried. He still went into the cockpit, he still attempted to divert the ship, he still tried.
Curly is just as much as a victim of Jimmy's mistreatment and abuse as Anya is, in their own unique and parallel ways, they both had everything taken from them. Both an act of sacrifice, nowhere near their worst moments. Far from it, and it was the best one they've ever made.
And Jimmy continued to violate them, take, steal and destroy everything.
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing anya#Can you tell im still thinking about this game#anya and curly my tragic wives
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HELPPP IM CRYING ACTUALLY IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THEM???? HONORED TBH????? I love these silly little guys SO much I'm losing my mind over here that u like them enough to write smthn so long ab it, omg don't look at me rn I'm crying
I never thought too much ab Haruka's voice before but tbh now what u described it that way that's just the Official Haruka Voice Take (tm) actually, that is how she sounds now
"I've got nothing better to do, I think she's funny and I want to reinforce her bad habits <3" is so fucking funny and so fucking accurate, this is exactly what is happening in the twins minds actually.
In my notes for their personalities in my notesapp, I just wrote "They're genuinley just the fucking WORST to deal with. Their "I'm going to cause problems on purpose" dials got cranked up to 10 and got stuck that way at birth" which I think sums it up nicely.
I've been writing silly small stuff for them lately to hoard jealously in my notesapp and I think Haru has a genuine mean streak while Hiro is a lot more bark than bite— but also Haru looks and talks a bit gentler while Hiro acts and sounds rougher, so they often give off the opposite impressions. Don't worry Hiro, your brother will do what you aren't strong enough to (crime)
There's all sorts of fun layers to it too, like, considering they're from a clan who tries to shelter it's children— but they're also from the infamously bloody warring states period, who had to bring up their children much quicker and rougher than modern. I think Hiro would have made a wonderful modern day shinobi while Haru is a good example of the inherent violence of the warring states, just buried under good cheer and playfulness. Mmmm phycology,,,
I love their little trio with Shiruka, they are besties and she's also their first real friend their age, while she's kind of but not quite an outcast in her own clan due to her parents poor standing. She's older sibling coded and so tired of their shit but also quietly, perpetually amused by it, which is probably part of why she sticks around. That, plus their clear undying loyalty towards anything and anyone considered "theirs"— a list she's made it on and does her best to reply in kind
They are holding hands and will continue to hold hands together till they inevitably die at ~19 for the good of the village, yippie !!!
At least they'll get to live on in the memory of Hiname,,
Just kidding she dies like 3 years later, whoops!
BUT YEAH THEM !!! I love them so much, I had way too much fun thinking ab just the ecosystem for young shinobi in early konoha.
I have so many more thoughts ab it all tbh, theres no doubt tons of things happening as so many different people and clans settle in to a new normal but I ofc have my focus
I think I accidentally created some sort of little mystery/conflict with my silly meme of Shiruka going "he wants to order break into my clan heirs house" while also stating that she and her family aren't currently in good standing with the Nara main family.
I wasn't thinking ab it too hard when I drew it but now I'm sat over here like "girl why are you helping Haru break into your clan heirs home when you're already most likley on their (or at least their parents) shit list?? Who is the clan heir and why does Haru want to break into their house?? What drama is this??"
I'll probably think harder about it later, I feel like there's potential there
I need to stop thinking so hard ab potential early konoha narrative things bc I refuse to be consumed by it and know I very much will give in to The Voices if I continue
I say that but I'm absoloutley going to continue to think ab them. Actually.
Ough,,, Wolves of the Woods my beloved,,, one day I'll write u,,, one day,,
That said I'm also enamored with Tetsuo as clan heir (someone get him out of there!!!) He's great at it but also really, really does not want the position.
I think when he was younger and Tobirama was visiting the clan, he point blank begged him to take the position— But Tobirama said no, he's a Senju through and through and he's proud to be second to his Anija. A week later, and Tetsuo officially got the title (and maybe cried about it but only just a little and only on the inside)
(Tetsuo is still nursing a tiny grudge over this, though it's lessened slightly since Sakumo's birth)
POV he's in an especially bitchy mood and Tobirama asks him something and he just kind of grumbles, "oh, I'm sorry, are you my clan heir?"
Queue ??????? from like half of those present
He's so cute tho I think he has my favorite design of all of them. He dresses the fanciest for sure— Haruka totally owns similar things (I think the half and half haori is super cute and I want it to be a clan staple) but only wears it on occasions where she needs to, while he's more traditional/conscious of himself and his position, so he dresses like that all the time. He's probably the guy they send to the capital whenever it's necessary and the clan heads presence isn't needed
Random early konoha oc fun fact no one asked for: I have a vague messy fic idea from months ago now that basically amounts to "the Hatake's die before Madara defects to the village, and Kabuto, in practicing Orochimaru's edo tensei in preparation for the final battle, revives them— then manages to lose them in transport before they wake up. Not knowing any better, they flock to Madara to help in his fight"
I love time travel I love drama I love horrible misunderstandings and family/clan drama !!!!!
Uhh take some notes from that:
ANYWAYS THANKS SO MUCH IM SO GLAD U LIKE THEM SORRY FOR MY WORD VOMIT I JUST GET SO EXCITED AB THEM I COULD EXPLODE WITH IT ACTUALLY
Silly, early Konoha lore and oc things drawn while thinking about this post
!!! early konoha my beloved !!! I have so many thoughts ab it, I want to write a fic that's just silly early Konoha things viewed from the perspective of the less important clan members and their everyday lives. I'm aware the audience for that is incredibly small but I have too much fun just thinking ab it to really care!
Ichigo remains the only naruto oc Ive ever actually written for (in one step three steps), tho Haruka has been mentioned in multiple fics of mine now just bc she fills the role of Tobirama + Hashirama's blood aunt that I needed to be filled in my "Kakashi interacts with Tobirama w the knowledge that they are directly related" fics, of which there are now multiple
but yeah, take some silly art and lore comics !! I had fun while making these and will now probably put all these ocs on a shelf where I will not touch them for some more months
#!!!!!!!!#i feel like i should have a specific tag for this at this point#wolves of the woods#ig#if it work it works#IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE THEM THO!!!#to have infected u with my thoughts#there is no higher honor#hatake oc#nara oc#orochi oc#hyuuga oc#birds fanart#birds art#kakashi hatake#hatake kakashi#hatake clan lore#early konoha#birds fic talk#birds ocs
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I have talked a couple of times about the huge parallels that exist between Hannigram (Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham, from the NBC show not the movie) and Haladriel (Galadriel and Sauron, The Rings of Power), and for me there are still the fictional relationships that are the closest in terms of narrative, despite the first being m/m and the second m/f. I have been told : Penny Dreadful, Vanessa and Dracula, but to be honest I found this relationship way too rushed, and totally ruined by the shitty ending of the show.
Besides, Dracula lied so much to Vanessa it was actually hard to say if his feelings for her were genuine or not. He had a nice speech though. Maybe on a second rewatch I'd have a different opinion, but it didn't really work for me. I didn't give a damn about this Dracula guy, while I do feel a lot for Hannibal and Sauron despite their undeniable evilness.
No, it's still Hannigram and Haladriel to me. The ships's names even both start with a H, isn't it a sign lol
Hannibal, Will, Galadriel, and Sauron are all very complex characters. Anyone who attempts to put these characters in a box and just see them as "entirely good" and "entirely evil" are, sorry, wrong.
Hannibal and Sauron get nowhere near to be redeemed in their story because they always commit to evil and feel unapologetic about it (Hannibal especially, while Sauron has a short "repentance phase". But since it's more motivated by the fear of the Valar's judgements than by a real, genuine desire to atone, he's easily drawn back to his old evil ways). They're both considered to be personifications of evil, for that matter.
Hannibal and Sauron are both capable of seeming extremely charming and deceive everybody who meets them into believing that they're "normal". I would say that Hannibal's an even better deceiver than Sauron is. They're also both control freaks who play 5D chess in real time. The rare times they lose control, it's almost always related to Will/Galadriel.
Hannibal and Sauron don't care about anybody and have no issues killing anyone who's in their way, except for Will/Galadriel.
Will and Galadriel are supposedly on "the good side", but in Hannibal and Sauron, respectively, they find the reflection of their own inner darkness.
Will and Galadriel are different from everybody else. They're respected in their respective field, but their differences make them loners, and seen as potentially dangerous by their peers.
Season 1 of both shows starts with exactly the same concept : Hannibal murders people and eats them, but for the world, including Will, he's just a respected psychiatrist. He befriends Will because he feels what Will would have probably always denied if he hadn't met him : that Will likes to kill, because it makes him feel powerful. Unlike Hannibal, he needs to feel that his victim "deserved" it, he won't just kill indifferently. Sauron pretends to be Halbrand, a regular mortal man, befriends Galadriel, and is drawn to her light but also to the darkness he can feel in her.
Hannibal is supposed to help Will find a murderer who's no other than himself. Halbrand is supposed to help Galadriel find Sauron, who's also no other than himself.
Both Hannigram and Haladriel have a clear push and pull dynamics through the seasons.
Will ends up realizing that Hannibal is the Chesapeake ripper, the murderer he was chasing, just like Galadriel finds out that Halbrand is Sauron at the end of season 1.
Will and Galadriel have an intense desire to kill Hannibal/Sauron, while being irresistibly drawn to him.
When he realizes that Will's close to find who he really is, Hannibal gets Will thrown in jail for the crimes he himself committed thanks to planted evidence and manipulation. Sauron somehow manages to instill the doubt in Elrond's head that Galadriel is not free of his influence, while manipulating Celebrimbor into believing that he was cast aside by her (and Gil-Galad) once they didn't need him anymore.
Hannibal acts all innocent when Will openly accuses him of being the Chesapeake ripper, just like Sauron plays innocent when referring to the fact that Galadriel cast him out once she found out who he was (the main difference is that Galadriel never accused Halbrand of being Sauron in front of Celebrimbor).
Talking of Elrond, I can see a parallel between him telling Galadriel "he (Sauron) never left" when she tells him she can't let him in again, and Bedelia du Maurier telling Will "Can't live with him, can't live without him, is that what this is?"
At the end of season 2, Hannibal stabs Will when he realizes he conspired with Jack Crawford to have him arrested (= he realizes he can't have Will even if Will is tempted). What do we get at the end of TROP S2 ? same thing, basically : Galadriel keeps on resisting him, so Sauron stabs her, literally leaving his mark (the wound) on her. In both cases, there's a clear erotic subtext.
In season 3, Hannibal tries to start a new life with a new partner, Bedelia du Maurier, but it doesn't work. He's visibly miserable and thinks about Will all the time. Sauron in season 2 does the same with Celebrimbor and a bit with Mirdania, who's basically a Galadriel stand-in. The partnership with Celebrimbor doesn't work as well as it did with Galadriel, and he's dead-eyed, most of the time.
Hannibal finally gets himself arrested so Will always knows where he is (in reaction to Will's claim that he never wants to think of him again, and doesn't want to know where he is). The parallel to that could be the bond that Sauron may have created between him and Galadriel, when he stabbed her with Morgoth's crown. Hannibal and Sauron both want to make sure that Will/Galadriel will never get rid of them.
Will finds himself a nice albeit quite bland wife, who's got a kid that Will treats as his own. I can't *not* see Molly as Will's Celeborn ;)
While being supposedly "happy" with his new quiet life, Will can't resist the temptation to leave this life to organize Hannibal's escape from jail, arguing that he can help him find another killer, the Red Dragon. It's quite obvious that at this point, Will just wants an excuse to spend time with Hannibal, as he has now fully embraced his "dark side". Season 3 ends with Will jumping off a cliff and dragging Hannibal with him in a desperate attempt to have them both killed.
I wouldn't be very surprised if we got a similar scenario in season 3 of TROP, especially if the theory that Galadriel and Sauron are now bound is revealed accurate... Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but it doesn't seem that far-fetched to me that Galadriel would still be attracted to Sauron in season 3.
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i've been very excited to post this but here are my ocs haha!! meet lune, cecilia, nox, and aster!
close ups, more info, and a more detailed relationship chart under the cut! this is gonna be a long post haha. there's also some more info about rowan!
cecilia's twin (he's the older twin) ((by two minutes. lol))
the type to go “here to here, i’ll buy it all”
he's got a temper
possessive, devoted, and jealous yandere
people think he's a tad bit insane (and he's self aware mostly,,)
gets into fights often
“want me to kill that guy for you?” (he’s serious btw)
he’s not nice lmao, but to you he is (in his own special way of course..!)
kind of like a cat who will proudly leave dead rats and leaves on your doorstep as a gift bc it thinks you can��t hunt for yourself
hates nox LMFAO
difficult to approach at first but once you get close he won’t ever let you go.
extroverted
LOUD. someone shut him up, this mf does NOT stop yapping bro
annoying as hell and he doesn’t know that lmao
if he absolutely has to, he’ll behave. but it's... odd
constantly needs to be doing something or he’ll get bored lol
has a bit of a sweet tooth (typical)
Bastard (not literally)
played the piano when he was younger with his sister, but he hated playing it
bad terms with his family except for cecilia
huge rebellious streak
shockingly will not kidnap you! everyone already knows you’re his, and he’s yours. and he won’t let anyone get in between you two. yay..!
hates it when you don’t pay attention to him (will absolutely start sulking too)
he’s impulsive but he’s not completely reckless
you probs shouldn’t trust him too much though he has good (????) intentions lol
seems silly (debatable really) but he’s dangerous.
half of the things he says sound like jokes but trust me, he means it. he’d do anything and everything for you, don’t forget!
shockingly pouty and whiny, only in front of you though
him and cecilia have matching bracelets from when they were younger which they both wear to this day
he’s oblivious as fuck, and an idiot
lune's twin (she's younger)
normal (somewhat) ((not really))
sweet and friendly
really likes giving gifts to people she cares about
jumps to conclusion and freaks out easily, but she’s subtle about it
constantly stressed (lune is her brother, so… i get it)
introverted (runs on a social battery)
says things without thinking sometimes
people pleaser
awkward as hell tbh, but it’s really not obvious because she’s good at putting on a front��
kinda has the ”””””princely””””” persona (i didnt know how to describe that better lmao
has abandonment issues
girlfail tbh
hardworking
shes really protective of her loved ones
likes cute things
has issues with her family but still talks to them (lune does NOT)
on really good terms with lune, they’re very close (even though he’s a huge troublemaker that stresses the shit out of her) ((if he fucks around too much she’ll give him a good smack))
packs a good punch
SENSITIVE…
potential yandere? still not too sure if i’ll make her a fully fledged yan but she def has some of the traits lol
her and lune have matching bracelets from when they were younger! (she wears it everyday!)
she doesn’t mean to put on a front it just kinda happens automatically lmao
could kill someone... probably wouldnt tho
used to play the piano with lune, she still plays it now too (as a hobby)
cunning and annoying
def the type to kidnap you
oddly sweet (???)
but also ominous as hell
docile with the one he loves
isolating and manipulative yandere
dislikes lune
nice but you can tell he’s putting up a wall (with strangers and friends)
introverted
wouldn’t put stalking past him tbh
he’s the type that wants to know everything about you.
he has a tough time interacting with others. he feels awkward in social situations
the type to go to a party and spend the whole time petting the cat in the corner (he would not go to the party in the first place tho lmao)
he’s not misunderstood tho, he just can’t socialize and doesn’t really want to
grabs the end of your shirt in an awkward situation (its kinda cute)
takes time to open up, but when he falls for you, his love is so strong, it’s almost overwhelming. so just accept him, alright?
shittiest sleep schedule known to man, like srsly, what is bro doing
this man’s brain probs short circuits every 5 minutes LMFAO go to bed you idiot
really good with his words, very convincing
loves cats
hidden piercings
careful and patient
is really good at taking care of others (but he would only wanna take care of you) you’ll let him, won’t you?
startles easily lol
elf oc
ditzy and kind (to you)
bit of a mean streak (not to you!)
wants to appear princely in front of you
kinda stupid (a farce but not completely lol)
has a bit of a temper, but nothing too bad
clingy and cunning yandere
two faced
struggles with empathy (he tries, he’s not human, what’s he supposed to do!)
extroverted (?)
he’s really lonely
when he met you for the first time he was absolutely fascinated as he’s never interacted with a human being before!
BLUNT. he’s not used to convos… just give him some time!
at first it was simple curiosity, but that curiosity turned into something… deeper
he was completely alone before this, but now you’re here, and you’re going to stay, right?
is obsessed with the idea of you staying here with him forever, so why do you keep talking about going home? can’t you stay here?
but then you bring up the idea of him coming with you, well why didn’t you say that earlier! he's happy to come with you
It takes him some time to grasp certain concepts so please be patient with him, he’s not used to humans
he’s paranoid and hostile to other humans. it’s not fair, he wants all of your attention, so why is everyone trying to take you from him? he doesn’t like that everyone is getting in his way…
he’s terrified of bugs. will scream incredibly loudly if he sees one lol
he pulled you through a mirror, that’s how you ended up in his land
so if you wanna go back, just ask and he’ll take you!
gives you jewelry, expensive jewelry. (maybe he’s slipped on a ring before. haha. jk… unless..?)
prefers to stay inside your place because he really doesn’t like people who aren’t you lmao
don’t stray too far from him, okay? he’s always waiting for you
rowan (who i don't have a new drawing of rn </3 sorry!):
he absolutely hates not being a priority, so please don’t ignore him. please? he just wants you to love him.
clingy, devoted, and obsessive yandere
if you don’t reciprocate he might (unknowingly) try to guilt you into liking him back. will appear like a kicked puppy to really sell it (but it’s not an act lol he’s just like this)
at least his intentions are pure! (?????????) but is that better..?
if when (it will happen) you two end up together, he’ll give you the world if you’d asked for it
used to cut his own hair! :D (not great at it tho tbh)
very attentive and will work hard to keep you happy! just don’t forget that you’ll love only each other for the rest of your life. please don’t leave.
has tripped over nothing, will definitely happen again
here's the shitty relationship chart that i rushed </3 its very ugly im sorry HAHA
i really want to clarify that NONE of them will ever hurt you physically on purpose (they might have to pay up for emotional damages tho. they have your best interest in mind ig)
also i would say that they all share some traits like being clingy, devoted, possessive, obsessive, jealous, protective, and loyal. but if i specifically wrote it, it's probs just a bit more intense... just a bit,,, haha...
#num draws#oh hell yeah new tag time#lune posting#cecilia posting#nox posting#aster posting#rowan posting#technically lmao#yanderes#yandere oc#male yandere#yandere male#not tagging female yandere just yet </3#oc art#digital art#yandere#original character#i've been really excited to post this#i mean i know it might not get a huge response#but i really wanted to introduce them#and i do hope you like them!#i'm really bad at writing characters too so please be patient with me and hopefully i'll soon improve :]#if you have any questions about them at all PLEASE don't hesitate to ask#i would love to answer any questions!#i'm also nervous to be posting this haha... but its OKAY. im doing it#also i overused the SHIT out of the coloured text#ive never done it before i think i deserved to do it at least once HAHA#sorry that its super long btw </3#i might do actual profiles at some point too if anyone is interested :]#realized i accidentally added aster’s info twice 😭
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Yeah… they advertised too close to the sun on this WOTFI it didn’t live up to the promo material at all. But on its own merits it was fun.
Anyway Puzzles is like a combination of Three and Four’s worst traits and that’s a big part of why he’s so appealing to me.
I’ve rambled at length about the parallels but like. It’s Gotta Be Perfect. Four was already doing that before getting possessed. Mar10 day happened before he got possessed. He was only snapped out of it when SMG3 reminded him his friends would always be there for him. And guess what Puzzles doesn’t have?
Puzzles feels like bad ending SMG4 to me in that way. Puzzles on a normal day is equivalent to SMG4 at his absolute worst. That’s what makes him so narrative foils.
and I absolutely do think Four struggles with empathy. Or something along those lines. He gets too stuck in his own head and forgets that his actions affect the people around him. He loves his friends! He’s not great at taking their feelings into consideration and often needs things regarding others’ feelings pretty much spelled out for him. (Which is the root of like 70% of his conflicts with Three, who refuses to just be honest about his feelings until pushed to a breaking point. (See: almost any episode regarding Three’s Cafe, and the end of “Mario’s Spicy Day”))
My guy is oblivious. It was pretty obvious in Trash Friends that Three was not doing well at all and Four was pretty clueless. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, he absolutely does!
Just very little emotional intelligence on the meme man.
Stop that. Four no.
(There’s also “I put Mario in Danger for Views” and stuff. Puzzles is not the only one putting people through dangerous challenges for content. Four’s less extreme about it of course. But still. And “I put Mario in Danger for Views” isn’t the only example of Four doing this but it’s the most obvious)
Puzzles also cares about his “friend(s)” but has zero experience and no moral compass and very little ability to do an empathy so it ends up being unhealthy but like… he does in fact care. So much. It’s just in a VERY twisted sort of way. He’s never done this before, it’s all so new to him and he’s terrified of being alone again…
God. The way he hunches over the screen with Leggy on it. Possessively but almost, almost protectively. So close to cradling it in his self-mutilated hands…
Just… he… <3
And as for Three… SMG3 has Puzzles-redeeming potential because he’s just about the only one who can… meet Puzzles where he is, if that makes sense? As an ex-villain whose villainy was also motivated by a desire for attention/recognition Three can understand what Puzzles is going through and he IS a licensed therapist. He’s very good at it! He got Waluigi to stop causing the apocalypse and do petty theft and stuff instead in only 1 therapy. Puzzles is a more difficult case but I believe in Three!
sooo…
WOTFI
THEY DIDNT ADDRESS ANY OF THE PARALLELS AND THEN THEY
INSTITUTIONALIZED HIM
I’m so mad about this. I’m so mad. I’m so mad.
because okay. Okay remember this.
His super dramatic flinch here and there was that post going around like “I wonder what happened in Mr Puzzles’ childhood to make him flinch like that“
CHILD PUZZLES DOES THE SAME THING
EVERY TIME MEGGY/LEGGY APPROACHES HIM HE FLINCHES. HE COWERS. EVEN OUTSIDE OF THE POTENTIAL CONCLUSION HE WAS BEATEN, SOMEONE GENUINELY CARING ABOUT HIM IS SUCH A FOREIGN CONCEPT THAT HE ASSUMES THE ONLY REASON ANYONE WOULD GET CLOSE IS TO HARM HIM.
AND HE’S NOT EVEN WRONG?! THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS?
THEY INSTITUTIONALIZED HIM HE IS TIED TO A TABLE IN A PADDED ROOM. THEY APPEALED TO HIS HUMANITY AND FOUND THE GOOD IN HIM AND THEY USED IT AGAINST HIM.
YOU THINK THATLL HELP HIM? TARGETING THE MOST VULNERABLE PART OF HIMSELF AND GETTING HIM SENT TO AN ASYLUM?
AND IT SUCKS BECAUSE I WAS LEGITIMATELY ENJOYING THE EPISODE BEFORE THAT! I was having fun until that ending. That’s literally the one thing I didn’t like. The scene with Kid Puzzles was really well done. Everybody’s outfits were so cool. IGBP flesh blobs were there that was really cool
but then
I hate this. Genuinely worse than killing him off to me. It just feels wrong
#smg4#mr puzzles#SMG4 (character)#smg3#like really long post#long post#*chatter chatter*#wotfi 2024#Leggy SMG4
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Back to more ideas on Tf 141: Mafia AU!
(Im world building rn + epilogue/ extra scene to the 1st Chapter)
Link to prev part:
So I was thinking how, the relationship would build between the 5 (Tf 141 and reader) naturally, ‘cause I want the story to build off of like small interactions and one shots but sometimes have like, coherent chapters in between to stabilize the “plot” per se.
(Im rusty with my writing skills and I kinda dont edit, ‘cause this is just practice for me but still lmao)
And I want it to be something gradual (just call it slow burn, they say) and I know I write interactions in a slow kinda way where it bounces back and forth from person to person, showing the reader’s perspective then subtly shifting to the character’s perspective— but I think I want to experiment into that, focusing more on dialogue and conversational exchanges that shows how close their relationship has gotten.
For ex, I was thinking how Soap was still wary of reader in the first chap- not as affectionate as he is with his mates right off the bat, he’s wary and it comes naturally in his line off work. You’re an oddity sure, but its not like he’ll put down his walls for you (yet). His speech is rough and clipped, not wanting to reveal much but letting you be privy to the information he can provide- in the mean time anyways.
Yet , at the same time, I want to show his attraction—
He’s enamored and has (maybe) a little crush, but who wouldn’t when you’re so pretty? Sitting there in the room where they grew up, blanket lazily draped across your form as your barely awake self tries to wake up on his bed, hair poking out in all sorts of places, drool dried at the side of your mouth but damn did he think you were a fresh sight to see in this city.
Maybe you were seducing him? Or was it the allure of the domesticity that was lacking in their relationship? He puts those thoughts to the back of his head ��till he waits for the news of that meeting he was left out of last night- he feels its important when checking out who you really are.
They can’t afford to be careless, but on the other hand- you kinda were, when you first met them unfortunately, that is. Absent-minded and clumsy, that was what he thought of you as he stared at your tripped up self, sadly sitting in a puddle in pain. You were pale, shivering, and simply a mess.
Honestly, the more that he thought about it, the more it didn’t make sense to treat you like a threat. Well, at least not an active one at that. You could have been having an off day as a spy or an assassin, but if it were him— he wouldn’t be caught slacking like that in public, whether people knew him or of his occupation either way.
He could even see how you lowered your guard! Jeez, you should be more careful- especially with people like him and his mates- if you’re new to the place. He thinks you might be a lil’ looney for going to this place, especially that part of the city when all of its occupants know that it was mostly a dangerous area to get in to and stay at.
As the neutral hub for all of the mafioso around the cities, it is the one place for regular folks not to get involved in. (Unless you want to meet them of course, but he doubts that was your intention… or, shit- it could have been, considering how Price found something on you.)
Now he thinks of you as a potential client, which makes him feel worse of how off-handedly he treated you.
He knew he was gettin’ an ass kickin’ from Ghost if you were, surely.
Alas, what done has been done- at least you still treated him normally as he left, so he thinks he left a good impression.
Though, that wasn’t at the forefront of your mind right now.
Quite literally, you were being worked to the bone for information from the old Italian couple that helped you stay at their lodgings at the 2nd floor of their bakery.
“‘It’ll help un-fuck my week,’ they said but all gave me was a hope that my minimum wage self has to fight for as they get free labor in return!”
But you don’t dare say that, knowing you were speaking out of turn and out of misplaced anger so you keep your mouth shut- cleaning up the bakery for the opening in the morning.
The couple was sweet, but they were also strict, telling you that “you should move your arse so you can sweat off the sick!” Which… you didn’t want to make sense off so you just nodded, asking if that was the compensation for the information of finding your place, and they agreed. On the stipulation that you work and do all the chores on the list they handed you, making you gape and about to ask for a little consideration— but they quickly disappear, out of sight and out of mind, they say.
And you think that was better before you started mouthing off, not get anything, and then end up lost once more— which you wanted to avoid at all costs so you did sweat off the sick.
Albeit, you looked worse for wear.
Which Ghost bluntly points out as you waited their table.
…let’s just say that it was an overtime work-shift that you didn’t get money for and old italian people were slave drivers.
(yes, i made the love-hate relationship start with nonna and nonno)
#tf 141 mafia au#unedited#crackfic#cod x reader#tf 141 x reader#tf 141 x you#cod mw2#soap x reader#soap x you#tf 141 poly#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish#tf 141 poly x reader#tf 141 x reader poly#more brainrotting thoughts#im semi narrating and wordbuilding
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Hot Take : Cassandra🖤
(Normally I don’t make posts like this but I need this off my chest)
My roommates and myself just rewatched season 1 of “Tangled series” and all the raged emotions just came flooding back; as much as this show did have it’s fun, sweet and good moments overall can not enjoy this show.
Despite the many things I could point out *cough cough* Eugene being a secret prince bullshit *cough* the big thing I can’t stand is the Cas plot line. I know I’m gonna get angry people coming after me but I just don’t care, I couldn’t stand Cas’s plot in this whole series! Season one she was fine the set up was good, even if she was trying to convince Rapunzel she couldn’t trust Eugene;
The one guy who saved her life! The first person she ever met you died for her!
She was still just introduced and was having development with trusting others and being nicer to Rapunzel. Everything was fine it could’ve been great but then the moonstone plot line happened and I just couldn’t anymore…
First off all it took was for her to find out her mother was gothel (why!? I also didn’t like that but another time) for her to suddenly forget that gothel kidnapped Rapunzel and hid her way for 18 years; before she knew of Gothel as her mother she heard the stories from Rapunzel no doubt how Gothel was ready to kill Rapunzel if it came down to it, then has the audacity to tell Rapunzel “you’re a princess you’ll never understand me, you’ve been given everything” Seriously! 18 years trapped and manipulated by a woman who abandoned you and Rapunzel is suddenly the bad guy!?
Like seriously! You knew!
Then she has a whole song about “I’ve been denied, no is on my side” when literally the first season is the other guards helping her prove herself to her dad who by the way never really stopped her just wanted her think things through; for god’s sake he trusted her over all the other guards to lead the army on Varian! Rapunzel herself was always on her side and did everything in her power to help! ‘I’m the luckless’ bitch! You are actually the luckiest person only ever got support and friendship from everyone, trained by a father who cared and believed in you, hell Gothel ain’t that person and she saw that! None of those flash backs in the mirrors gave off nurturing, in fact Cas was miserable in all of them!
When Cas! When! Only one who was very condescending is that relationship was you!
And before anyone comes at me with the whole “she was being controlled” she wasn’t though, she may have had a little whisper following her around but she was full body and mind when she grabbed that stone. And for it all to end with everything just forgiving her! Bull!
I was with Eugene trying to convince Rapunzel to deal with the fact that Cas betrayed them. I may the only person who feels this way but Cas was one of the least favourite characters in a show that just did my head in.
Such potential. Wasted.
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I wish I could afford Botox for my tmj soooo badly. I’ve done physical therapy and it helps. I have a splint and it helps. But my jaw is literally always, 24/7, in pain, and it’s getting on my nerves lol
#the migraines are bad too!#but sometimes it’s just sooo. like it makes me upset thinking about it#bc like even when I relax my jaw as much as I am able#it’s still tense#it’s such an awful tight feeling#plus I also think my jaw looks ugly lol. my face has changed so much over the past like 10 years since my jaw has gotten really bad#I need to be better about doing my physical therapy exercises#but it’s just upsetting that there’s a potential remedy#and a potential way for me to just be normal#and I would never in a million years be able to afford it#it’s so ridiculously expensive#and you have to do it so often#I just tell myself it probably wouldn’t work anyways. makes me feel better#my jaw is just extra sore today so I’m mad lol
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i constantly think about what happened at the ranch in 2014 ….
#marc saying it was the turning point of his and vale relationship…#did vale really get bothered by marc taking his crew there…#like was that it#tgat made him think marc wasn’t genuine in his utter adoration#i want to be inside their head and know what they were thinking :(#because clearly they didn’t air them out in the moment#because marc thought it was just … a normal thing to do !#and actually a way to make vale see his potential ! and how good he was !#and on the other side valentino feeling betrayed somewaht …?#like ‘my god who does he think he is’#this boisterous arrogant 21 year old#surely his love for me was just a facade and this clearly shows it#GOD#to be a fly on that wall….#motogp#valetino rossi#marc marquez#rosquez
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Everyone on this website talks about the choice to not have children to end the terrible cycle of familial abuse or whatever but I feel like nobody on here wants to talk about the more mundane and pressing reality of wanting children but being paralyzed by the understanding that bringing them into our current society inherently means traumatizing them in some small way simply because there are no good options.
Like. Dont want to put a child through public school because public school sucks, but homeschool is isolating and private school is not an option for ppl with no money. Dont want to raise a child with a forced gender but attempting to raise a child neutrally may socially isolate them or cause authorities to question your parenting methods. Don't want to raise a child in an isolated suburb where they have nowhere to travel independantly but affordable housing with ample room for families in city environments are basically nonexistent.
It can be hard not to feel judgemental of yourself for wanting to bring a child into the world at all under these conditions. Unlike with refusing to continue the "cursed bloodline" or whatever, there's just no personal pride one can take in deciding not to have kids because the world would force me to make choices that hurt them irregardless of my desires.
#and this isn't me saying i do or don't want kids but rather#these are my main worries with the possibility of having children#also i think this is a seperable issue from worrying about kids just getting hurt in the normal human way#i don't want to shield my future child from any possible negative experiences like#heartbreak and loss and things like that are very normal#but I'm talking institutional. im talking the little violences that made my actual abuse so easy to hide#and the systems that further traumatized me#the fact that id just have to put my potential child through them too just... sucks.
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Someone ( @ohai-there ) asked me if I had any thoughts ab mdtb weeks "cultural differences" prompt, so, like, take just the copy pasted reply I gave them (+ some extra) :
I was up all night drawing birthday art and am this 👌 close to blacking out for x amount of hours so this risks being nonsensical fair warning
Uhhh culture shock my beloved, let's seee
Easy answer is the senju are very touchy feely, easily and willingly sleeps around (they face a lot less risk of bloodline theft due to rarity of the mokuton so there isn't as much ingrained cultural fear of being assulted/facing the baby shaped consequences of sleeping around willy nilly)
They can take multiple spouses and it's actually rare for the head of house to have only one wife (Hashirama is an exception bc Mito is a Princess(tm) and so to take another wife would risk offending her own clan culture, he is fine with this and they possibly often take others to bed with them just for funzies (potential hashimitoizu noises(?)))
Uhh anyways so that, they're super liberal with touch, etc. Etc.
Also they don't really do crazy deep romance and are super used to casual no strings attached flings, you have to make yourself VERY clear in what you're doing if you want to actually start a fr relationship bc otherwise many "courtship" behaviors are just like. Casual, culturally acceptable flirting and invitations to bang (the senju have a 101 different ways to proposition eachother in flower language alone.)
Meanwhile the Uchiha are on the total opposite side of the spectrum— they're like super conservative (In contrast to the Senju not having an ingrained fear of bloodline hunters, their very valuable and very vulnerable kekkei genkkei makes them prime victims, which has lead them having generations of trauma fueled insane abstinence lessons)
+ They're a noble clan and regularly interact with the Daimyo's court, so there's even more etiquette culture ingrained into them so they can send anyone into court if needed (While the Senju, who are NOT a noble clan, only ever send their main house, and so only they have to even worry about court etiquette)
They do not believe in divorce, they do not believe in political marriages (tho they do happen very very rarely, it's seen as very sad and tragic when it does) they... sometimes believe in multiple spouses, in specific situations (they can't regularly interact w the daimyo's court and not have to face it as a concept, after all)
So like. Super up tight, hella rules about how to show affection and proper ways to conduct yourselves, months long courting rituals before u even get to kissing, to sleep together before marriage is SINFUL
But they're ALSO super fucking romantic and absolutely insane about having soulmates and one true loves and are just super intense ab all that romance stuff where the senju are super relaxed in it
I think u see where this is going
Anyways uhhh
They make a village and there's tons of culture shock
Then Tobirama, being Tobirama (standoffish and cold, not especially interested in the usual wild Senju sex parties or whatever tf kind of events they're hosting in the gardens) is like, among the most "normal" to the Uchiha (from a cultural standpoint)
And bc of that, Madara maybe interacts w him more like "well he's kind of awful but at least he's not a sex FREAK like the rest of these Senju WHORES"
Umm Madara tries to court Tobirama but Tobirama sees it as him only trying to bang (?)
Which he possibly doesn't even want to do
Tobirama is like "Ah man, if only he were interested in actual courtship, but he has only given me the Senju flowers of "I wish to ravish you in the fields" and not the senju flowers of "I am potentially interest in maybe going on a date" (a proposition that a)he received not too infrequently, and so was not odd, and b) he politely rejected by accepting the flowers then showing Madara that he had planted it in red soil)
Meanwhile, Madara is like. "Wow this courtship is going so great he's accepting all my Uchiha flowers of pure devotion and innocent love in bloom"
Just in general, their clans having different flower meanings could be funny actually. The Uchiha regularly interact with court so I think they'd have to have, like, "normal" flower meanings (or else theres be some implications there of how theye gotten so far while using incorrect flower meanings in genuinely important events) so that means its the Senju who have odd meanings for flowers-- which also works, bc, like, mokuton
however many years ago, a previous descendant with mokuton told his clansmen the ""real"" meaning of these flowers,,, u wouldnt get it,,,
Another fun route could be, like, the Uchiha method of declaring ones intentions to court someone also happens to be the Senju's method of declaring a feud.
Madara tries to flirt with Tobirama only for Tobirama to understand this as Madara telling him to his face that the peace may be ongoing but he'll always hate his bitch ass !!!
#tbmd#mdtb#naruto#tobirama senju#senju tobirama#uchiha madara#madara uchha#tobimada#madatobi#birds fic talk#madatobiweek2024#senju clan lore#senju clan
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jaybrusteph. steph and bruce fuck on jason's grave, jason and bruce fuck on stephanie's grave, steph and jason fucking on bruce's grave. threesome where stephanie gets 2 cocks up her ass. they keeo her tied up in a secret part of the cave fir a week with a vibrator on her clit at low vibration and a fuck machine pounding her ass. they share her for another week straight and by the end of it she's mentally checked out and her face id smeared with mascara and cum. maybe they bring cass over once, and all of steph's holes are occupied at the same time. i want her to keep cumming so hard she walks with a limp for a month. she goes on patrol with a butt plug holding in both of their loads. remote controlled vibrators. just the kinkiest shit possible with these 3. any time bruce and jason fight, they take it out on steph. they both try to fuck her mouth and she chips a tooth and dislocates her jaw but they keep going
i've been thinking about this for *days*. bc idk how you intended this anon, but to me it reads as *delightful* non-con and *super* fucked up with grooming vibes. like in my head, i picture it as Bruce dealt with enough problems when Jason came back from death and he *really* doesn't feel like doing a repeat. so when Steph comes back, even if Babs gives her blessing for Steph to be Batgirl, Bruce doesn't trust it and he definitely doesn't like the idea of Steph wearing a Bat. he's been down this road before and this time, he's not making the same mistakes.
so he tells her she's allowed to be Batgirl but this time, there are more Rules. maybe he had a thing with her when she was Robin but Bruce feels like he obviously wasn't strict enough so, he sets new rules this time around. and Steph has no choice but to agree bc she wants to be Batgirl, she feels like she needs to prove herself again.
i love the idea of the mindbreak the first few weeks, too. esp if there are aphrodisiacs or some kind of drugs involved to keep her in a haze where it's all she can think about until she rlly just. breaks. and is okay with it and has no concept how fucked up it is. Bruce invites Jason just because he'll try anything to pacify Jason at this point, and maybe he had a fucked up thing with Jason already and they needed a sub as a buffer.
i also think it's fun if patrolling and missions are the one place Steph has an escape from all the sexual control. so she really leans into being Batgirl bc it's all she has so when they start making her wear plugs and vibrators out it breaks her a little bit. even as Batgirl, her life will revolve around pleasing Jason and Bruce. and Bruce is telling her that she has no idea how much she's helping with this, he's showing her numbers about how Red Hood has been much less lethal since this all started to really get in her head about how this is a duty and it's a favor that she's doing for Bruce and he's so thankful for it, he almost convinces her that she agreed to this somewhere along the way. so she agrees and is submissive when Jason is getting rougher and rougher with her until joints are dislocating and she's crying and doesn't even have the words to ask for it to stop so she can get a breather.
also like the idea of Bruce and Jason arguing while Steph is on a patrol and it's Jason who finds Steph first and without any sort of warning forces some kind of aphrodisiac drug into her mouth and makes her swallow, calmly telling her she has about an hour before it'll kick in so she better wrap up whatever she's doing and hope she gets to Jason's base so he doesn't have to find her and fuck her wherever she ends up when it kicks in-
and all the bruises and injuries she gets from the sex are explained away by vigilante work. i'm also really into the idea of like, gradual body modification without her awareness or consent. constantly having her on muscle relaxers so it's easier to fuck her without prep. adjusting parts of her body with supplements to their likings until she realizes she doesn't really recognize herself in the mirror. her nose has been broken by sex so many times it stoped healing right. her hips are a different size and she has to wear a plug most of the time bc she's usually so loose. just like. Complete Bodily Control over her, yk? and by the time she realizes how fucked up it is, she's in way too deep.
and pulling Cass into it is *really* fun bc Cass is someone she trusts. so if Cass is okay with this, leaning into it and fucking her mouth with a strap while stroking her hair, then it must be okay. bc it's Cass. and maybe Cass is also fucked up, maybe Cass is just trying to provide Steph comfort in a situation she can't get Steph out of. both are good options esp if Steph doesn't know which it is. she never knows if ppl just don't care enough to notice what she's going through or if Bruce and Jason are doing such a good job of hiding it all that they can't see it. and she gets so Stolkholm'd by the end of it there's no escape she even wants. bc it's not like she can go back to normal. it's not like she could come from regular sex that doesn't hurt to the point she cries anymore. so she just. accepts it.
but yk that's just my hurt/no comfort braincell being evil. bc i am evil and i love the psychology of being sexually broken as much as i love the sexual aspect of it. i think it makes it so much crunchier and realistic if there's this haunting acceptance that isn't necessarily a "oh she loves it now" but more of a "she knows escaping will make her feel worse" sort of thing. like she sees Bruce and Jason arguing and just starts to brace for it instead of trying to break them up. it's good food.
#necrotic answerings#brujaysteph#brujay#jaysteph#brusteph#dead dove do not eat#nsft#non con#darkfic#tags ppl who don't like this stuff shold probably filter on this page bc i like the dark things#i'm just obsessed with targetted and purposeful psychological breaking through sex.#and i think jason and bruce doing that to steph is SO fun#i'm so sorry if you intended this to be more consensual#but personally it read to me as at the very least dubcon#(i enlisted a second opinion to verify)#either way i hope you enjoy the thoughts#bc i just kept making eye contact with this fic and screaming. bc you get it.#taking brujaysteph to the fucked extreme babeyy#i'm so so normal#the potential for bruce wanting to control steph as batgirl? so there's not another red hood repeat? i think could be fun.#should i add a read more to this one? idk#i will not#but if i should in the future i will idk man#i don't know where the line is sometimes.#i'm in so deep with this dumpster.#the trash is my feast.
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vaguing a post that's on my dash that I don't want to engage with (as usual) but actually no CPTSD isn't a diagnosis for 'when things were a tiny bit bad a lot' or 'if you experienced relationships that were toxic but not abusive' it's a diagnosis describing the impacts of CONTINUOUS TRAUMA. not less significant but more frequent trauma; trauma which is ongoing/continuous/recurring in developmental years.
like I'm not trying to gatekeep here and I recognise the value of saying 'it doesn't have to be a Single Big Obvious Trauma' because one key thing about CPTSD is that generally it makes traumatic incidents Your Normal so you don't necessarily view them as unusual or concerning. but I often see people talk about CPTSD as if it implies smaller individual incidents than PTSD and that just is not the case.
most experiences I have seen people be diagnosed with CPTSD for (myself included) are not 'a little bit toxic'. they are things which, each incident taken separately, an outsider would still recognise as traumatic - medical emergencies, rape and sexual abuse, significant physical violence, emotional abuse and coercive control, homelessness, severe poverty, war, torture, etc - and the thing that makes the PTSD C is not the relative level of the trauma, but the fact that it's enough of a repeated and consistent pattern, at an early enough stage, and sufficiently embedded in everyday life, that it becomes a person's baseline for 'normal'.
CPTSD is not a synonym for emotional microtraumas or cumulative trauma or 'death by a thousand cuts'. It's specifically defining the psychological differences in response to long term formative trauma as opposed to traumatic events which you process as an aberration (eg the difference between regular violence against you from trusted adults in childhood vs being physically abused for the first time in adulthood with existing experience of healthy relationships). Traumas causing CPTSD tend to be pretty similar in type, scale and severity to traumas causing standard PTSD - they are just more embedded and normalised earlier in life.
all this to say there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that cumulative microtraumas can affect us in traumatic ways. there's nothing wrong with pointing out that there's a broad range of types of trauma, and trauma can include stuff like growing up marginalised or ill as well as abuse, war, injury or immediate loss. there's nothing wrong, too, with acknowledging that a lot that is traumatic doesn't necessarily feel traumatic to you.
but like. no. CPTSD is not a diagnosis for people whose trauma wasn't 'big enough' for PTSD. CPTSD is not cumulative microtraumas. CPTSD is a response to formative macrotraumas or to a long term traumatic situation without hope of escape or change and if you want to talk about microtraumas then do that but it's not what CPTSD is!
#red said#this has really pissed me off sorry I've seen several people post things like this#so this post just tipped me over#but like. goddamn. cptsd is not microtrauma.#and there are benefits to encouraging people to think of things as potentially traumatic before they're ready to register them as harm#but imo that's counterbalanced by the fact that again a major part of CPTSD for a lot of people is that we Think Severe Trauma Is Normal#so i do not think it's USEFUL to AGREE that CPTSD is a diagnosis describing the buildup of Small Normal Microtraumas#when it's generally a response to LARGE HORRIFYING trauma that KEEPS HAPPENING#listen ok so PTSD might describe an adult's response to being posted into a warzone or having their home unexpectedly attacked#CPTSD might describe a child who grew up in a warzone and struggles to feel safe into adulthood bc they have no experience of a safe world#they're both significant traumas but one is an interruption of the way you thought the works works#and the other is the only lens you have to view the world through#but crucially NEITHER ARE MICROTRAUMATIC AND THAT'S NOT WHAT THE COMPLEX IN CPTSD MEANS
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To be honest I think a lot of the horror of Elias comes from just how unlikely it is for someone to notice he’s missing
#He doesn’t have anyone close to him and the few people who do know him are only exposed to the casual smiling mask he puts#One that Elias could easily mimic or hell might even be close to the way Elias normally acts given that he has a similar propensity for#masking. Plus ogElias was never stupid. In fact he was known to be very smart. he just didn’t try to reach his full potential. also he didnt#even get high THAT often. he tried to be respectable and put some effort into preparing for an interview with James Wright#In fact the way he yearns for respect. the way he says he’s afraid of spiders. the way he is marked by the eye. hell even the implied#neglectful parent makes me read him as a parallel to Jon.#Which as we know acts pretty similarly to Elias#all things considered#Also Elias was ambitious. Sure he didn’t have the motivation to grab life by the horns as it were but he always thought he was meant for#something better. bigger. and that’s also part of what made his body snatching feel so cruel.#and o feel like a lot of these little tragic details are often ignored by the fandom#Elias Bouchard#original Elias Bouchard#TMA#the Magnus archives
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