#and a place i don't know At All.
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also i am going to the dr tomorrow so please can you send some spare good vibes my way if you have them thank you
#new drs surgery so guessing completely unfamiliar dr who will know nothing of my complicated medical situation. 👍#and a place i don't know At All.#and the DOCTOR. on a SATURDAY.#god on top of everything i've gotta deal with more med changes too coooooooooooooooool! can a guy just be well for a while.#and i've got like 3 separate things that i've needed to bring up for months but appointments are so short and so hard to get that i just#haven't been able to so they're getting worse and worse and i'm like. what's a guy supposed to do for real!!!! i need like. Real medical#care that simply does not exist in this current system!#like i'm so grateful that we're trying to work to figure my migraines out but i have more to discuss and they're fully like 'you gotta book#another appointment for that bud we're out of time' and i'm like 'i don't HAVE time! like i have the calendar but i don't have the wellness#' ARGH. anyway. this too will be resolved. i have written myself a note i will try to see if they can book me another appointment when#i'm at my appointment tomorrow. it will be fine. it will be fine! it's unlikely to be anything serious anyway it's just another layer of#yuck on the already abundant layers of long-term unwellness you know. BUT we stay silly :3#hahaha no wonder i've been increasingly unhinged all week when you actually have to think about the problems it's like. woag.#BUT we stay silly :3 in 24 hours it will have happened so. whatever.
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looking at (vetted) gofundmes for people trying to escape palestine and i don't know how many of you actually click on the gofundme links you reblog but i would like to point out, for what it's worth, just how amazing it is that so many have raised so much money. it may overall feel like a drop in the ocean but the fact that several gofundmes have raised tens of thousands of dollars is amazing. it is so expensive to leave gaza right now, and people still need money after they escape. but regardless of what propaganda the US, UK, canada, and other western nations are trying to pump out, people across the world are doing what they can to help these people survive. many of them are still very far from their goals (like this one and this one and this one) and some of them are very close to high goals (like this one), and some of them have reached almost double their original goal.
and that's not even addressing direct aid or organizations that take continuous donations for distribution of food, menstrual products, etc. the PCRF has raised $16,000,000 of their target goal of $20,000,000 to fund current aid and long-term relief efforts in gaza. ANERA's febuary 13th update discusses the material ways they helped palestinians today:
(ANERA donate link)
my point is, it often feels like the world is turning a blind eye to palestine. but i would like to point out that there is an important difference between "the world" and "western political leaders and media narratives". a breathtaking amount of real people, the people who make up the world, are trying to help. in the face of israel attempting to commit genocide, the world is saying No. These people deserve to live. and literally sending millions of dollars internationally, through the internet connection that israel has desperately been trying to destroy.
it may not feel like it matters in the grand scheme of things. but to the people who get fresh clothes, or a hot meal, or blankets, or the kids who get new toys, or to the people who are able to bring their families to safety, it matters to them. go make someone's day better. i've linked so many options with ways to do that.
#free palestine#cricket chirps#palestine#gaza#if you feel overwhelmed and don't know where to begin#i recommend deciding on a total amount of money to donate (e.g. $20 $100 etc)#and deciding you will either donate it all in one place or split it between a few places#do what you can!!! it will always be helpful no matter how little#1k#5k#10k#20k
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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they are like puppies. 2 me
#gravity falls#dipper pines#mabel pines#stan pines#stanley pines#ford pines#stanford pines#gravity falls fanart#fanart#disney#pretty happy with the bg on this one!!!#to be honest i don't know how i got here#at first i just wanted to draw mabel and dipper sleeping on the floor bc i thought it was a cute idea and i love to draw cuddling#and then um. suddenly i had placed them in an entire environment and added stan and ford#couldn't tell ya what happened#but i had fun with it!!#anyway yeah thank you again for all the recent support#hit 12k!!!! woah!!!!!#i was gonna make a post thanking you for 10k but then i hit 11 and now 12 so um. whoops#to be honest i don't even know what to say 😭😭 it's just crazy to me that ive gotten this far because ive had this acc since i was like. 12#it was my first social media i think#and the first way i got into fandoms#so yeah anyway. thank you :'))#mods art#mods draws#my art
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dont got much to offer for The Holiday but have these sillies!
happy valentines day :D
#sxf#spy x family#damianya#damian desmond#anya forger#my art#i am sleepy rn im scheduling this ahead of time like several hours ahead JKSDFKLS#unrelated to sxf. the tags are my speaking place shush#was not expecting the toby fox newsletter to have so much for me to think about JKKLDFSS#good ole gaster sending us love letters (we don't KNOW it's gaster but like. typing pattern + him being the only character to be like)#(directly referring to the game as deltarune)#ALSO THE WEATHERMEN HAVE NAMES NOW ?!?!? AND ARE IN LOVE ???!?!#so happy for them fr#i didnt get the mettaton card but like just know. that is my essence. all those blingee-core sparkles. those picmix hearts. me#anyway YIPPEE WAHOO
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It's always "Hades isn't bad or cruel, his deeds are just metaphors of the inevitable death" or "Hades kidnapping Persephone represent the premature death".
But when the argument "Zeus has numerous affairs and many children because he represent the fertile rain" is brought up, all nuance is suddenly out of the window and Zeus is just a womanizer who can't keep it in his pants.
#hades#zeus#greek mythology#greek gods#greek deities#cherry picking who should be condemned for their “crimes” and who can be excused because “their action is metaphorical”#just shows your ridiculous hypocrisy#if you're gonna judge the gods at least put all of them on the same standard#or maybe - i don't know - understand that you're not in the place to judge the deities from a different culture???#i admit i used to have a “Hades good/Zeus bad” phase too#but i'm growing out of it because in the end i'm only reading the stories from another country
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do skully have pokemon?
Pumpkaboo is the obvious one, but y'know, sometimes the obvious one is the right one! (we'll say SUPER SIZE Pumpkaboo, just for fun. big pumpkin for big skeleton boy.) and another person actually also suggested Greavard, which I somehow hadn't considered, but feels so perfect that I feel like I should have. dangit.
(they can also have little Nightmare Suit costumes :D)
#art#twisted wonderland#pokemon#poketwst#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#(sorry for leaving anon off for a while! i've gotten a rash of spam and i'm gonna wait it out a couple days before turning it back on)#also apologies for the rest of this not really being pokemon related#i don't have anything right now for part 4 of the event so i'm gonna use this space to go off about it#because. oh man.#a sad lack of the scullsman but a FEAST of everyone else#gotta love malleus and leona uniting in the common goal of hunting trey down for trying to game their whiny pettiness#(trey doesn't know what to do with someone he can't easily distract with cake)#also further confirmation that malleus WILL kill a small child and leona WILL point and laugh the whole time#also sebek's plans revolving around what he knows he's good at: screaming extremely loudly and hoisting nerds#and let us not forget what i consider to be the crowning jewel#which is jamil figuring out IMMEDIATELY where scully has taken his prisoners#only for everyone else to just. literally refuse to do anything about it.#jamil just standing there and going 'WE KNOW WHERE THEY ARE! WE CAN JUST! GO GET THEM!!!! WHYYY AREN'T WE GOING'#visibly losing his entire mind and it's beautiful#top 10 twst event moments honestly#also some delightful character consistency from jade being all#'actually my dicking around is a sign of my immense trust in your abilities to get things done :)'#'but also consider: there are currently two housewardens chasing a child'#'alternately angrily screaming poetry and begging them not to sue'#'and if you will pardon my city of flowers...there is no fucking way i'm missing that'#lock shock and barrel did not sign up for this. how did these idiots turn out to be somehow weirder than the three of them.#twisted wonderland must be a frightening place indeed
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ALICE
#iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#daniel molloy#alice molloy#louis de pointe du lac#armand#iwtvedit#tvedit#vcsource#iwtvsource#*#still don't know if the 'ex-wife' mentioned in the memoir is alice or not but i thought i'd include it anyway#she seems to be the one who'd know what cars he had in the 70s but at the same time he apparently doesn't speak to her anymore#but... maybe they were still in contact while writing the book?#anyway this is long and the colours are all over the place but this is my pepe silvia board ok#ms alice i need to know all about you
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Ooh, you want to know what happens at the gay bar run by ex-pirates, ooh...You'll just have to read Tiger Tiger to find out...
(Inspired by this Disco Elysium comic)
#tiger tiger#remy bonnaire#Arno#jamis arlesi#f slur mention#(Remy is allowed to say it. Jury is still out on Jamis though.)#I love that disco elyisum comic so much. I have it saved in several places so I can find it to show people. I lost it once. Never. Again.#Hard lesson about redrawing/heavily referencing a beloved comic is that you will feel so inferior to its genius.#I did my best but I feel like I didn't hit the high notes I wanted. Such is art!#At the end of the day I have to remind myself that I'm still on a journey and not every piece is going to be my best.#Yeah I'm still on my Tigers propagana train. Toot Toot. All abord or perish to the Tigers.#I hear tigers are running the Olympics this year. That's right. It's tigers all the way down.#Obscure references aside; time to talk tigers spoilers:#I was absolutely losing my mind at Remy taking Jamis to the Starfall. He did *not* expect to be in a gay bar.#Jamis is our beloved bisexual lad but I don't think he's fully in tune with it yet.#How down right unfortunate that he is also the hottest cub in the room. Will he realize? What will he realize? Who Knows!#Thank you to everyone who checked out Tiger Tiger from my recommendations!#And thank you to my fellow Tigers fans for receiving my comics with open arms. Next comic will be about Rat Man.
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Part two of the reverse verse is here! The reverse boys meet the original boys. They're not really getting along as well as I had hoped...
Again, this was a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and they asked for angst/funny vibes... I think it's mostly just angst though. Oh, well...
Part one
#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#reverse verse#there's a lot i could say about this one#the idea of someone telling edwin he's go to hell is absurd as it is#edwin telling edwin? lmao#the charles... oh they hate each other#reverse charles is angry (he always is) because this other version of himself was spared hell... in exchange for edwin going there?#obviously it doesn't work like that. og charles hadn't even been born when his edwin was sent to hell#but anger is not a rational thing. especially not for this boy#og charles? you don't want to know what he's thinking#i'm telling you anyways#he... kind of agrees. if someone had to go to hell#why edwin? why not him? there is an universe in which that happened#so why not this one? unfair#then again... look at this charles who did go to hell#he's explosive. he's DANGEROUS#he shouldn't be near edwin#if og charles had gone to hell would he be the same? would he be too angry to be trusted? would he be like his father?#and if so would that really count as saving edwin at all?#if this is the kind of best friend poor edwin would end up with?#on a happier note though#physical contact!! reverse charles loves it#i don't have all the details but his hell was on the rage ring so it was different to the dollhouse.#and it was a very violent place so boy loves gentle touches#luckily edwin is more willing to give them to him with each year#i think what the edwins are feeling is a lot more clear#but still would love to hear your thoughts
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He's into arts and crafts now. Good for him.
We are having a ladle appreciation party
#genshin impact#my stuff#neuvillette#genshin spoilers#lantern rite#lantern rite spoilers#look at this thing#so cute#and leisurely#like an otter#btw I wonder does he know how he looks in a dragon form?#also wriothesley I'll be very angry if I don't see that clay tablet displayed in a special place#with the reverence it deserves#btw I think it's not the first time he makes things#he also made medals for carole and vautrin#and maybe that special vision for furina#but all in all#I'm glad to see that he's as weird and delightfully awkward as usual
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#was looking for some fics with these two#I imagine this is one of their first interactions and Hunter is already fed up with Darius#but Darius is just trying to get to know the successor of his mentor and check if he's at least a little bit capable of doing his job#he's also a little weirded out by the similarity between these two#basically I imagine Darius gave him a couple of vibe checks that Hunter had failed#and Hunter takes it as questoning his place in the coven#god darius design is so pink and awful#it's so jover uni starts tommorow#it's like the most boring drawing ever but I'm just still in my I have to get better at backgrounds era#and also if I'll draw 100 awful things I get a decent one eventually#it's like inktober but lasts your whole life and devours your soul in the process#no caption just pure tags now I understand those few people who keep reblogging all my tags cuz I give all the fucking context there#there's probably like 10 things I would spot tommorow that would fix the drawing a whole bunch but I just ...don't want to ig#the owl house#sheerak#the golden guard#darius deamonne#hunter toh#toh hunter#hunter deamonne#toh fanart#the owl house fanart#dadrius#not yet but#you guys most fellow toh fanartists moved on and fanart fiona and cake but I keep brainrotting the same stuff over and over#good old toh trashpile
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while teen while goblin while aroace while injured while doing your best
#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#riz gukgak#figueroth faeth#sklonda gukgak#dimension 20#this. mmmmhhh this is so. I did Not know how to draw this really.#I am very normal about riz (<- lying)#it's a brennan-dm d20 campaign the bad guy is always capitalism (I am saying this with clenched teeth)#riz out of all of them being aroace fucks with me SO bad. bc its also established that elmsville specifically and probably the#majority of solace is not. made for goblins. and that becomes sklonda being worked to the bone and pok dying on the job#and riz spending all his time trying to keep his friends together. maybe to the point of it being injurous#like. do u get what I mean. its an economy of time it takes your time it eats up your time#not just the gukgaks but everyone you have to spend time to get to live and you don't have a lot of time left in a day#and you have to spend it carefully. you have to prioritize#you're somewhere without an established community and companionship is bought with your time spent working#this place doesn't take care of you. at the end of the day who do you have who'd prioritize you. do you understand me#the evolved aroace loathing where if your friends and family are granted more time nobody would have to choose. we live in a society#holds ur hand we live in a society. idk if Im making any sense#anyway . uhhh riz is my favourite that's my statement thank you for listening. au revoir
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I love this picture for a couple of reasons
for one:
"ladies, is it gay to stare lovingly at your wife?" -Dehya, every hour of every day
and two:
the fact that Kaveh was the one setting the self timer on the kamera but Alhaitham is in the outside position means Alhaitham was canonically saving Kaveh's seat for him. again, very gay behavior.
#bottom left is literally ''Alhaitham and the bad bitch he pulled by being autistic''#I do have to deduct points for them placing Cyno in the opposite corner instead of with his family#that's the only thing. it's an 8/10 instead of a 10/10 specifically for that reason#''nobody puts baby in the corner'' etc etc#anyway happy birthday Nahida all your many gay parents are very proud of you#that moment when I realize I don't actually know Kaveh and Alhaitham's ship name#just gonna have to make this shit up as I go...!!!#Kavetham#(nevermind I started writing Kaveh and it immediately handed it to me. thank u)#Dehyarzad#Dunhya#Alhaitham#Kaveh#Dehya#Dunyarzad#Genshin Impact //
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baby👶 drawings. these are very dear to me rn.. 2nd pic is my Nelavis with @barvin0k's Varonur 🩵 last one is a baby bosmer and snow elf, hairiest of them all. although the bosmer was meant to be my girl Barletta too lols
#tes#skyrim#my art#oc#nelavis#barletta#😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔 babies are so sweetum ugh my heart is crumbling rn#referenced some anne g*ddes stuff for dis#i call them snow elves instead of falmer like g*lebor would want me to#i never really get to talk about my elf anatomies at length cus i'm lazy but i sprinkled some info in the first pic#altmer society is EugenicsLand so you could only tell if your child has 'good' traits when they hit puberty#ex. height and shoulder width is something very important to them#if you don't have those traits ur pretty much a failure#other elves have it easier 🤓#idk i still might make some kinda infographic for the way i picture them but umm maybe not who knows#on snow elves and bosmer the fur is still 'confused' when they're in baby stage and is pretty much everywhere#it evens out w/ age and stays on the back; neck; sides of face the most and in places where human body hair wud be#idk ummm..and i think all elves grow their nails out unless they're very intertwined with humans in their life#ex. my snelf elisif; she has her nails trimmed to be regarded as more human i guess#nails are most important to altmer tho and might be a status symbol of some kind... they like using them in combat too#it's shameful for an altmer to not have long nails for any reason but there can be exceptions#like my el*nwen that can't physically grow nails out because of burn injury#so she has fake ones on her combat gloves#it's cute#elf nails aren't as frail as human nails and are more like an animals claws (corny) but bosmers' are the sturdiest#and their nails are curved in shape. for U know. Climbing and stuff#cause dunmer and altmer etc. have straight nails. they can hit the nail salon
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sometimes we just need someone to pay enough attention.
for the longest time i had been trying to read The Lord of The Rings. everyone had sung the praises for it, over and over. i'd seen clips of the movie and it seemed like it could be fun, but actually reading it was fucking horrible.
my parents had the omnibus - all the books squished into one big tome - and in the 4th grade i started sort of an annual tradition: i would start trying to read TLR and get frustrated after about a month and put it back down. at first i figured i was just too young for it, and that it would eventually make sense.
but every time i came back to it, i would find myself having the exact same experience: it was confusing, weird, and dry as a fucking bone. i couldn't figure it out. how had everyone else on earth read this book and enjoyed it? how had they made movies out of this thing? it was, like, barely coherent. i would see it on "classics" list and on every fantasy/sci-fi list and everyone said i should read it; but i figured that it was like my opinion of great expectations - just because it's a classic doesn't mean i'm going to like experiencing it.
at 20, i began the process of forcing myself through it. if i had to treat the experience like a self-inflicted textbook, i would - but i was going to read it.
my mom came across me taking notes at our kitchen table. i was on the last few pages of the first book in the omnibus, and i was dreading moving on to the next. she smiled down at me. only you would take notes on creative writing. then she sat down and her brow wrinkled. wait. why are you taking notes on this?
i said the thing i always said - it's boring, and i forget what's happening in it because it's so weird, and dense. and strange.
she nodded a little, and started to stand up. and then sat back down and said - wait, will you show me the book?
i was happy to hand it over, annoyed with the fact i'd barely made a dent in the monster of a thing. she pulled it to herself, pushing her glasses up so she could read the tiny writing. for a moment, she was silent, and then she let out a cackle. she wouldn't stop laughing. oh my god. i cannot wait to tell your father.
i was immediately defensive. okay, maybe i'm stupid but i've been trying to read this since the 4th grade and -
she shook her head. raquel, this is the Silmarillion. you've been reading the Silmarillion, not the lord of the rings.
anyway, it turns out that the hobbit and lord of the rings series are all super good and i understand why they're recommended reading. but good lord (of the rings), i wish somebody had just asked - wait. this kind of thing is right up your alley. you love fantasy. it sounds like something might be wrong. why do you think it's so boring?
#thanks for reminding me this happened#writeblr#warm up#i don't think this story translates well to the page#IRONIC!!!! :)#but yeah man i read the Silmarillion before i read the hobbit#the omnibus didn't explain what it was and i figured - you start at the beginning and then you read from the beginning#that's how books work#how was i supposed to know#EDIT IN THE TAGS: hi i think i worded this in a confusing way#the omnibus had ALL the stories in it - the silm#the hobbit#and all of LOTR#they just put the silm in the front so i thought logically it was the first book#that's how an omnibus usually works after all - the first book in the series is the first book in the tome#to be fair i GUESS the silm takes place “before” the hobbit????
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