#and a horrible saviour complex

[tardxsblues]

Doctor Who || 9.04 Before the Flood

[rainbowcarousels]

Writing Armand has the same issue/fun of writing Sephiroth in that they're so far dissociated from their own trauma and sense of identity that I rarely write them analysing their own thoughts or experiences because there's so much disconnect that they can't play connect the dots easily.

[myfictionaldreams]

Hey :) i would love to ask for a spicy Lucius Malfoy x Reader ☺️ something like Reader is a young Teacher in Hogwarts and Lucius and her are having an (very serious) affair (takes Place in the chamber of secrets).

The School Governor //Lucius Malfoy x Fem!Reader

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! I've never written Lucius before, but hopefully, you'll enjoy it!

Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, infidelity/cheating, secret relationship, rough sex, creampie, fingering, squirting, tension, praise kink, size difference, Narcissa bashing (sorry!), kissing, fluff/angst

Words: 2.8k

my masterlist 📚

AO3 Link

“Are you sure you’re supposed to be here at this time of day, Mr Malfoy?”

The corner of the man’s lip twitched up like he was trying to smile but attempting to conceal it by remaining stoic. You were then faced with his signature sneer, those piercing grey eyes wandering over your appearance as if he was assessing whether he even wanted to waste his time. “It seems I’ve become lost on my travels around Hogwarts. Might you show me the way out?” Lucius asked with disdain thick in his voice

“Of course, Sir. Just this way”, you pointed in the direction you’d just walked from. No one even blinked an eye in either of your directions as you led him away from the grouping of students who were all on their way to bed as the night drew closer to curfew.

Your head remained forward, not once looking over your shoulder to check if he was following as you knew that he would be. You thanked Merlin for having an office so far away from students and other professors as the main offices were already lived in. You were new to the school, recently hired to assist Madam Pomfrey with Herbology, as she was too busy trying to attend to the Mandrakes.

The job may have been due to the recommendations of the man following closely behind you, his cane clicking against the stone floor and billowing close, switching the dust in whichever direction he turned.

As you both approached further towards the greenhouses and, thus, your office, there was a blossoming of heat and anticipation spreading from the centre of your chest to the tip of your toes. This was always something that your body seemed to do whenever within arms reach of the school’s governor. Moreover, he always seemed to be at the school nowadays, stating that he was there on school business, especially with the latest attacks on the students.

This is just an excuse, however, pretending to look around the school to catch the Headmaster in a scheme, but really, he would be sneaking to your classroom, office or meeting in the Forbidden Forest.

It was wrong. More than wrong. He had a wife, whom he was incredibly unhappy with, having been forced into a marriage as soon as he’d finished his time as a student at Hogwarts. All to abide by the pure blood status and traditions without any sort of say in the matter. Forced to live a life of misery, reproduce and have heirs and then die in a loveless marriage.

This was the only reason you had continued to meet with him. The ache in your heart quickly succumbs to his negative life. You knew he was manipulative, quick-tempered and had questionable ideologies on the dark arts. But when it came to Lucius Malfoy, it was as if your mind purposefully ignored these warning signs, mainly because he never discussed or acted in a horrible way around you.

You were always his peace and tranquillity, his little saviour in the dark before the world's realities came crumbling down around him. There you were, gifted with the raw, passionate, and incredibly loving man who held your hand when walking past, stroking your cheek to catch any slipped tears when it was time to say goodbye for a few more weeks.

It was a complex relationship to have and made even more so when you were now having to teach his son, Draco, who seemed to be a smaller copy of his Father, to be even more arrogant at his young age. It meant that you could give him additional help to boost his grades and, therefore, please his father, which, in turn, helped bring positivity into the secret relationship.

As you were greeted with the view of the long corridor that led to your office, your steps slowed as Lucius snapped, “Dobby. Check the area is clear for any prying eyes”.

With a flash out of the corner of your eyes, Dobby appeared and disappeared, apparating further down the corridor in multiple positions to check if the two of you were truly alone.

“The area is clear, Master”, Dobby approached before disappearing completely. You and Lucius rushed the remaining way to the office. You opened the door wide enough for him to follow through and slammed closed. As your wand waved in front of the handle, thoroughly locking the two of you in, a hand gripped your hip, turning your body so that your back met the door's wood.

A leathery gloved hand then cupped your jaw, tilting your face back so that Lucius could kiss you with as much desperation and urgency as you felt in the centre of your chest. It almost hurt with how much pressure his face was applying to yours, his warm breath fanning across the apple of your cheeks with where his nose was pressing. Your hands lifted to grab any part of him and ended up clinging onto the opening of his cloak, harshly tugging him even closer until there wasn’t a gap between your bodies.

Releasing a soft moan from your throat, this seemed to begin moving further, both gloved hands now cupping both of your cheeks in a safe cocoon as his thumbs caressed careful circles against your skin.

The coldness of the material wasn’t enough to satisfy your need for him as you dipped your head to free your mouth. “Off! I need your clothes off!”

Lucius’s baritone laugh burst across your face as he stepped back to give the two of you some room. “Such a demanding little thing, aren’t you?”

“I am when you’re wearing so many layers! Take them off!”

He chuckles at your reaction once more but finally begins to remove the cloak from his shoulders and gloves from his hands, next attempting to undo the luxurious vest jacket that he wore. The buttons running down the middle were taking too long for him to undo, so you quickly gripped either side of the best and pulled hard, surprised by your strength as the buttons began to pop off and tumble.

“Do you know how expensive this was?” he asked incredulously, but humour still danced behind his bright eyes.

“I’ll fix it at the end”, you say breathlessly, wrapping both arms around his neck and pulling him in for another heated kiss. A perfect mix of lips, teeth and tongue, all moving together, nipping, licking and sucking. Neither mouth pulled apart from the other, making the actions more frantic and chaotic with the attempts to remove more of the clothing articles. Soon, you both became frustrated by the barriers and settled for the basics.

Leaving your jumper and skirt on, you kicked off the shows, tights and underwear you’d been wearing as Lucuius kept his white shirt on but undid his leather belt to loosen his trousers and boxers until they were around his knees.

Lucius pulled back from the heated kiss first, but only so he could turn you around and push you face-first against the door. You huffed at the impact but soon were groaning in pleasure as he lifted your skirt and began to rock his dick against your folds, teasing you with gentle pressure before finding its home in your warm cunt.

“Silenco”, Lucius whispers, waving his hand as the atmosphere becomes dense as the spell renders the area soundproof. With the safety of the spell, your mouth fell open, and a barrel of dirty moans left your lips as you didn’t hold back from telling him how good it felt to be stretched by his cock once more.

Lucius dipped his height so that his forehead could rest against your cheek, breathing heavily as he thrust hard and deep. The pace was bruising to the side of your face, resting against the door, but nothing in the world would get you to stop at that moment. To be able to feel his thick length fucking hard into your pussy was something you craved every day.

As your hand reached the back of his head, gripping his silky white-blond hair, you gasped, “I’ve missed you”.

Lucuius groans as he nuzzles into your neck, biting the skin just below your ear as his arm moves around your waist, angling your hips so your arse is sticking out slightly so he can deepen the thrusts.

“I’ve missed you too, little witch. So much more than you could ever know”. Your heart could have stopped at his words, falling even more in love with him than you had before, which tightened your drenched walls even further around him. “I know you’re close. I want to feel you cum around my cock Darling, cum for me like the good witch I know you are”.

As he praises you, the arm around your waist slips beneath the front of your skirt so that he can roll your clit in circles, matching the pace of his hips. Your thighs tremble, fingers clenching his hair until it hurt, but Lucius didn’t stop until you were crying out in pleasure, cunt clamping in spasms around his length, and he, too, joined you through his own orgasm.

Lucius didn’t stop rolling his hips until you were sated and calm from cumming, and his seed had soaked as deep as he possible, caressing your cervix and then dripping out down your thighs. The two of you sighed in contentment, staying together, pushed against the wall, and just appreciating the moment you had tangled against one another.

“I didn’t expect to see you for at least another week. Have you come because of the attacks?”

“I feel as a good Govenor; my answer should be yes”, he whispered against the shell of your ear, nipping the lobe with his teeth, causing goosebumps to rise down your arms. “I can’t deny, however, that it was you that brought me here. I meant it when I said I missed you”.

Even with his softening cock still inside of you, he knew how to make your knees tremble as you blew out a long breath as you asked, “Can you please stay?”

You could feel his shoulders dropping and knew his answer before he’d even begun to speak, and sadness spread through your body, replacing the euphoric sensation. Lucius gently kissed the back of your head as he carefully eased himself away from you, “I’m sorry, my love, you know I can’t”.

Smiling to hide the upset, you turned to him, “I know. I’m sorry I always ask; I just hope that one day you’ll be able to say yes”.

His warm hands cup your cheeks delicately as you do the same for him, carefully moving some of the messy strands behind his ears. “I’m sorry”, he says earnestly.

“Could you stay for a drink at least?”

“I would never say no to a drink with you”. Lucius began to dress, looking significantly more chaotic than before but always looking crisp before leaving. All you managed to do was pick up your discarded clothes and shows, straighten your jumper and wait for him to wave his wand between your legs, cleaning up the mess he had created with a smile.

Walking further into the office, you entered through the hidden door at the back of the room leading directly into your living area. The fire sparked to life as soon as you stepped onto the roof, instantly filling the vast space with heat and an orange hue. Pouring the both of you a hefty glass of dark liquid, you both cheered the glasses together, taking a deep swig of the alcohol that burned your throat deliciously and then settled into the sofa.

You sat remarkably relaxed with him, leaving your bare legs thrown over his lip as his arm settled around your shoulders to keep you close as you watched the fire lights dancing with the flickers of the flames.

“He’s nearly top of the class, but I think he’d have a hard time trying to best both Longbottom or Granger”, you explained sometime later as Lucius asked how Draco was fairing in your class. The man scoffs, only earning him a slap to his chest, “Hey! They’re my students; stop that”. Thankfully, he held his tongue and didn’t prattle on his biased opinions on pure-bloods or traitors, which he had quickly learnt was nothing you were particularly focused on. “Could I ask about what the governors are going to do about the attacks? I don’t want them to close the school, but it feels so dangerous now that students are being attacked”.

Lucius’ arm tightens around your shoulder as his lips press against your temple. “Nothing will harm you, Darling, and I’ve told you this already: I can’t speak of the Governor meetings. We’re sworn to secrecy”.

“It’s not me I’m worried for. It’s the children. It means - aren’t you worried about Draco?”

Your head tilts back on his arm so you can look up into his effortlessly handsome face, expecting him to be worried. However, he only appeared to be as calm and in control as ever, his grey eyes dancing with yours and the bottom lip you’d tucked between your teeth.

“Not at all. He’s in the safest house with the safest blood. I have no worries for my son”. His answer confused you, but you’d just put it down to his many prejudices and superiority complex. Reach up to stroke the smooth sin of his jaw, and you can’t resist the temptation to lean closer and kiss him deeply, tasting the alcohol on his tongue that matched your own.

“What’s it like?” you ask between kisses, unable to stop yourself from asking. “At home, I mean, what’s it like? Do you have any happiness at all?”

“You know I’m not happy and never will be with her”, he answers abruptly, to look at you with a questioning gaze.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I know you hate her”. You refuse to say her name both from shame and jealousy. “Do you have anything else that brings you joy? I hate the thought of you being alone in a big house with no one to give you any positivity”.

The hand lazily resting across your calves begins to draw circles into the skin as he contemplates his answer. “Without Draco there, I have no one. Narcissa and I may eat meals together, but that’s as far as it goes. We never talk; we even sleep in separate rooms. Everything is always for show, which is why these moments with you, where I get to be with someone I genuinely love, mean the most to me”.

You shake at his words, feeling the edges of your eyes water as you cling to him with even more desperation. What's more, the hand on your calf was beginning to slowly creep up the sensitive area of your inner thigh, distracting you from continuing the conversation as your legs automatically parted, giving him more room.

“Lucius”, you pleaded, eyes following his long fingers, the thick silver ring with the ‘M’ wrapped around his thumb adding extra sensitivity with the coolness of it against your skin.

“Shh, I’ve got you, little witch. Just relax for me”, he whispered against your temple as his fingers finally reached their goal. Your head tipped onto his shoulder as your back arched. All of your thoughts were centred on the skillfully trained fingers as he explored your dampening folds, spreading them with ease to give his middle finger the path to your eagerly awaiting hole.

You were a mewling mess as he eased two fingers into your cunt, coating the digits in your juices and rocking them in and out carefully. Lucius began to move the arm around your shoulders, relaxing his hold so he could lie you down on the sofa as he leaned over you, his mouth hovering just above yours.

“Are you going to be good for me, my Darling?” he asks, his warm breath teasing you once more as your legs try to clamp his hand in place.

“Yes!” Your shout was abrasive, but only because he’d already caused you to become a pathetic mess. Lucius smiled against your lips but didn’t move to kiss you properly as he applied more pressure with his fingers and thumb and stroked your clit.

You could feel his soft hair falling around your face as he began to curl his fingers inside of you, pounding that one spot within you that had you seeing stars. You weren’t able to say a coherent word as moisture squirted from your cunt, coating his fingers and wrist as he continued the action at a hard and fast pace.

The sloshing noise was obscene to your ears as he made you squirt over your thighs, sofa and his black trousers. You weren’t even sure you’d came as everything went from 0-100 with how intense his fingers had made you feel.

When he slowed his curling digits, you were a gooey mess in his arms. A grin erupted across your face as he sighed into the cushions, leaning further into his chest as he kissed your temple, allowing you to catch your breath.

“I must go; it’s getting late. You know I love you, my little witch”.

“I love you too, Mr Malfoy”.

[ib3li3v3you]

I love felix i do, but i think the “birthday surprise” was the cruelest thing he could ever do.

If Oliver hadn’t been lying and things at home were as horrible as he said, wrf would he have done?? He wanted to be the hero yes “look at me I reunited my poor ollies family im such a good person” but if his mother had shown up at that door high and unresponsive, can barely stand and treating them w disdain. Or seeing the house looking like some sort of crack den.

To willingly have someone, let alone a close friend, go through all that just to feed your saviour complex is just cruel.

And i really do believe that he was extremely mad abt the “disappointing” outcome, (apart from the obvious) bcos oliver took away his chance to be the hero.

[nayruwu]

hi guys! it's me again on my way to throw some salt because i'm starting to believe guren belongs in a retirement home to be treated for early onset dementia.

so i'm reading the chapter, and it's all fine and good, i love it, go krul, go ferid, whatever. and then even guren shows up! i was waiting for that. but then i see this

and it's like, uh, yeah, weird thing to say considering she literally is the person that caused "everyone" to die for her own goals, but this isn't a new thing. he's said some shit like "if i had just let myself die along shinya, mahiru and the others" before, and it was odd then, it's odd now. anyway, then comes this

and i'm like?? hello???? this is a hundred times worse than "dying together with everyone", because it takes his friends out of the equation entirely and gives the image of someone who doesn't even care if they left them behind, who just wants to go and die together with their murderer. which does not fit the image i have of guren at all.

you may know that this notion itself is also not new, since he did try to die with mahiru by throwing himself and her out of a window in catastrophe (hence the "back then"). the thing is, she had not killed his friends at that point. to him she was just a broken girl and if he could end her suffering by dying alongside her, his saviour complex ass would have done it. he also hadn't yet come to the realisation of how much he loved and needed his friends. but to say this now??? i feel personally offended on behalf of guren squad, lol. imagine if he fucking died and left them to spend their last 2 years alive wondering about all the lies and the hurt, having no way of knowing their end is near, probably blaming themselves for not being able to help him even though he brought it upon himself willingly. it just makes me want to. urgh. it's horrible, and it makes no sense.

and yeah, i'm not going to pretend that i'm not also offended because of this.

did this just mean nothing?? this shit was so emotional, the original scene, the fact that he still remembers exactly what shinya told him eight years ago, for THIS? for him to say the same exact thing TO THE PERSON WHO KILLED HIM? sach mal hast du lack gesoffen oder was??

the dissonance between him shedding all those tears over his friends' deaths and then acting this way towards mahiru, i just. i do not get it.

and like, i hear the people saying that he's just pretending, he's only staying so calm because he has his own plan, he's going to betray mahiru, and i want to believe that, i really do. it' the only thing that would make sense. but as awesome and fitting of a plot twist as that would be, i will not set myself up for further disappointment and believe it.

maybe we're just doomed to watch guren and mahiru get married and have 5 kids that they name in honour of his dead friends, who knows.

salt over

[bi-hop]

coming back to the kabru is like jesus if he was judas comparison. I think it's interesting that kabru always knew that he couldn't be the one to conquer the dungeon so he wanted to find people who could and support them, because he knows he's an excellent judge of character.

but the thing is, he still wants to be the hero. he still has a saviour complex. he's still envious that laios of all people is the one who has the potential to beat the mage. i think he wanted to be the one™ in some way . he *needed* to be needed by laios, he wanted to be like hermes, a psychopomp, or maybe charon, the ferryman that guides laios. so when laios /ignored/ him (not laios' fault truly he just . bad timing. sorry kabru) he felt resentful and yet even more determined to get in laios' orbit, to be the light. to be important in his eyes, like, judas when he said to the woman who used expensive oil to clean jesus ' feet. he said "why not just give it to the poor?" because he wanted praise. he wanted his teacher to look at him and go "look, i listened to you! i know what you teach!"

thats why laios rubbed off on him and he used a nutrition metaphor even because hes like. he wants to be jesus (the one to sacrifice himself and save the world from the dungeons to prevent another utaya) but hes judas (the adversary. the supporter from the shadows. the one who shows the soldiers (canaries) who jesus is. the one who " reported " him in the first place)

anyway yeah I think he has. a Jesus complex and when he met Laios he got mad with envy because he realized he was Judas help me

this is so good, turning it over in my head.

an element of kabru's character that grabbed me early on and is reinforced as he begins to bet on laios is his preoccupation with morality. people complain about the murder (bc people are lame BUT I DIGRESS!) but don't typically focus on the justifications he gives. even without knowing about the demon's nature, he is able to understand that greed and violence will only beget more of the same as those who can adapt will turn worse and those who cannot will be exploited or flee. for him, it's like ripping out weeds from a garden to protect what he cherishes.

I agree that he feels very self-critical when he finally admits that he can't be the knight in shining armor that he wants to be, due to his inability to survive as long as he wants in the dungeon. even without the motivation of going back to save falin, laios and his party had already went further on a regular basis than he has.

(shake me if I'm remembering wrong, but when we first meet kabru's party, isn't it one of their first times ever successfully making it to the third floor? lmao.)

and so the point to me was always that, yes, kabru wants to be the guy and yes, his party supports him as the guy, but realistically? he'd need someone else to at the very least support him. but he's very practical so it made immediate sense to me that he'd start looking for someone who he can either trust to take on the role or who is capable enough to get to a point where kabru could then take over. (again, all pre-finding out what being a dungeon lord truly means)

despite the latter being an option though, kabru's preoccupation with morality still stands. if he was truly the cold rational being some people seem to see him as, it would have been simple to simply throw his lot in with the first strong yet horrible person he observed. but he's picky selective. even with laios as his choice, he's CONSTANTLY fighting The Demons about it. his nightmare alone makes it clear that he has extremely well-rooted doubts and fears about what laios might do.

^ funniest page ever to me btw

but despite that, he still continually does the work of supporting him, albeit with a lot of setbacks and complications OADSJDODSOJD

i don't necessarily think the lens that we're currently taking is what ryoko intended but to conclude it is funny the themes of betrayal because technically kabru does betray laios' trust once lycion's like "ayo, he hates monster food btw, he's a SNAKE" and then he fumbles his way into... sort of regaining it? kinda? of course, by post-canon, he has it fully back, but speaking exclusively of the main story here.

[bunnedoesart]

Introducing: Angel/Angelica

Quick overview:

After my last PC was tragically lost to the plant people deep in the march forever (I lost the save file) I started Angelica. She's got solid grades, loved at school, and very athletic. Spends any time she doesn't need to keep those up at the Temple, an angel through and through. Although she's almost universally loved by people that know her she's in fact extremely sadistic, and holds between distaste and straight up hatred for the "sinners" around her all the time. In combat/sex she prefers to assault and degrade participants, making them relent under unceasing beatings and insults.

Outside of the game head canons:

Instead of the Orphanage I hc she was abandoned at the Temple as a baby, who saw her as a good opportunity to raise their next "saviour" from birth. As such she's grown up surrounded by the Temple's propaganda and influence, leading to her superiority complex and religious passion. After she grew up and began displaying her angelic form she was sent to live at the Orphanage to spread the Temple's influence and "save" the other people living there, the allowance from the Temple going to paying Bailey. Her wings come and go at her whim, but the halo always hangs above her head and gives off a slight glow, which often leads to her getting stopped in the street by temple-goers to talk.

Interactions with NPCs/LIs:

Angel's main love interest is Sydney, naturally. She likes Sydney's faith and devotion to the Temple, but can get quite territorial when priests start showing Sydney too much interest, and so uses their relationship to keep Sydney and her faith in check, stopping her (Sydney is female in this save) from getting too much attention.

Angel also interacts with Whitney a lot, often butting heads as two high profile blondes at school. Angel has respect for Whitney as serving a purpose, and their understanding is generally that Whitney gets the fame and reputation of "dating" the school's angel, and Angel uses him to keep the delinquents in line so they cause less trouble at school.

Teehee that was way more writing than I thought but hopefully anyone interested now has a good idea of this horrible bitch that I love a lot. Feel free to ask questions/draw her/write about her/etc I'd be honoured if she was recognised in the community.

[corn-fanfiction]

SAVIOUR COMPLEX (Pt. 4)

(Pt. 3)

Rated: M

TAGS: language/past abuse/stalking/Mark Hoffman being a c*p/sensuality/reader is normal and likes to do normal things/Mark is protective bc it's his job but he's also problematic/because he's a c*p

Mark can't sleep that night because of the one thought that turns over in head on repeat.

Who the fuck was at your apartment?

Compartmentalize.

1. Mark is Jigsaw

2. Mark is not hunting you

3. Jigsaw is not hunting you

4. Someone else is hunting you

5. The police think Jigsaw is hunting you

6. He'll likely have to continue watching you unless you put up a fight about it.

At the end of it all last night, you seemed to hate him

And for some reason, that's the part that bothers him the most. Did you somehow think he's the one stalking you? You have no reason to suspect him of anything.

Of course, he's not stupid. He saw the look in your eyes last night. You put up a nonchalant front, but you are terrified of something- someone. That's who has to be hunting you.

Mark feels a sort of tightening in his chest. Is it because he's somehow jealous? Like no one can commit such acts other than him?

Or, shock of all shocks, he's come to care about you in some small measure?

He has to admit, as he stares at his bedroom ceiling, that he's grown fond of you, in the ways he can. This, despite you intentionally antagonizing him.

His biggest gripe before last night was that his work as Jigsaw has been out on an indefinite hold, and now that hiatus will have to continue.

This puts Mark in two compromising positions:

Find who's stalking you.

Dispel any concerns that Jigsaw is hunting you.

Both are difficult but the latter will be impossible if he can't get away from you. Shit, maybe you should ask for a different officer.

The thought makes him feel strange. It haunts him until he steps into the precinct the next morning. With a heavy sigh and bags under his eyes, Mark stalks to his office with a cup of coffee in hand. But when he opens the door, he finds you standing inside, arms across your chest, staring out the window.

You turn at the sound and he clocks immediately that you didn't sleep, either. He hesitantly closes the door behind him and takes a seat at his desk.

“I'm gonna be honest. I didn't think I was gonna see you again after last night.”

You move your arms to wrap around yourself.

“Yeah. About that. I know that you only ever try to- that you only ever help me.”

You bite your lip and come to sit across the desk from him.

“I have a hard time opening up. Especially to men. Especially in positions of power.”

What a damn fool Mark feels like. He suddenly realizes how he recognizes you.

He sees the same strands building through you as he did Angie.

“So…what didn't you tell us? What didn't you tell me?”

“I wasn’t at the plant by random chance. And…I know who was at my apartment. “

“Not Jigsaw, was it?” It’s a statement, because of course he knows it’s not Jigsaw.

“No.”

“How do you know?”

“I couldn't tell the cops why I was really there that night. So I can't tell you.”

He’d laugh if he isn’t so genuinely curious what the truth of the situation is.

“You have to.”

“The fuck I do.”

Your abruptness forces the next words out of his mouth. “Don't force me to do something neither of us want. You tell me, and I'll decide if it's a secret worth keeping.”

You squint at him with scrutiny. “Why would you do that?”

“Personal interests. Why were you at the plant that night?”

He watches your eyes narrow at some middle-distance point.

“My ex-boyfriend. Cliche, I know. He was horrible in all the ways you could imagine him being. I think that, if he hadn't been arrested, I never woulda left him.” You take a shaky breath.

“What'd he go to prison for?”

“Assault, battery, theft, drug charges, you name it. And yet, before two weeks ago I never stepped foot in this building. He was released early on parole- good behavior if you can believe it. I never said anything. People like me don't often get justice and, no offense, the PD doesn't have the best reputation.”

Mark rolls a pen between his fingers and the desk.

“And? You went looking for him?”

“Yes.”

“To confront him?”

You take a breath. “I was gonna kill him. At least, that's why I went there. But once I was outside I just…couldn't do it. That's when I saw Jigsaw. Or, at least I think I did.”

Mark nods and mulls over your words. It makes sense so far, even if some of the moves are stupid. “Okay… I understand why you wouldn't tell the cops you were there to kill your boyfriend-”

“Ex-”

“But what if he's the Jigsaw killer? Ever think of that?”

That’s right. Get the target as far away as possible.

You shake your head too fast for his convenience. “No, he couldn't be.”

He can’t help the bite that comes with your words. “Why the hell not?”

“He's a bastard, and some days I do wish he were dead. The things he did…but he's not a killer. He's also not smart enough to pull something like that off.”

“What if he's muscle? Doing Jigsaw's dirty work?”

“He's not.”

“Then why the hell would he show up back in your life?”

“I think… When someone let slip that I was a witness, and what I saw and where…he probably figured out I was looking for him. It's stupid. But I'm still scared.”

“You said he's not a killer.”

The look in your eyes makes him sick. “There's things worse than death, Mark. Things I know he's not above doing. But he's not a meticulous serial killer. He just isn't.”

Mark takes a moment to think in silence, slowly turning his chair back and forth. You shift in your seat, antsy.

“Look, you don't have to believe me but that's the truth of it. The whole truth.”

Then, a thought strikes him.

“Well…what if you told the police you think he's the Jigsaw killer?”

You freeze. Your mouth falls open.

“What, lie again?”

He spreads his hands like it’s obvious. “There's a chance he'd end up in jail, probably get a life sentence. Then he can't hurt you or anyone else ever again.”

“I want him to answer for his crimes, not someone else's. And if he goes to jail, then the real Jigsaw killer would still be out there hurting people. And then he'd be let go anyway. Why would you even suggest something like that?”

A look of disgust comes across your face and he’s genuinely taken aback at your reaction. His next words are honest.

“I just want to help you. Protect you.”

“If Ted goes to prison and Jigsaw kills again because I lied, then I'm complicit in murder. You get that right?”

“So, what? We just keep doing this dance until…?”

“No. I know I lied and I’m sorry about that. You can tell the chief that you think I’m not in anymore danger-”

“He won’t believe me-”

“You can even tell them I lied. But…it’s not fair to you to be strung along because of something I said.”

He watches you. You…feel remorse? For protecting yourself?

The image of Angie mutilated flashes across his eyes and he squeezes them shut, shakes his head.

“I’m not going to do that. We’ll wait this out. You’ll stay safe. If Ted pulls something like this again, we’ll get him. That’ll confirm that he’s the one stalking you and then this whole thing can be put to bed.”

When he’s plotting, he doesn’t notice you watching him. If he had, he would’ve noticed the confusion and then the dawning realization on your face. He cares about you. He won’t tell your secrets. He’ll lie for you.

He looks at you and you nod your head.

“Y-yeah. Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

Mark stands and you follow suit. He tries to gauge a reaction as he places hands on your shoulders. You don’t move, don’t tense. Then, carefully, he pulls you into a hug.

You sigh into him and the sound tightens his chest. Maybe he sees too much of Angie in you. Maybe he's glad to have someone else to protect. Or maybe…

You must be compelled by some strange force because when he pulls away, you've got your hands on his lapels, then one on his cheek.

And before you can get any further, Mark pulls your hand down, his palm dwarfing yours, and he sighs.

“It would be… problematic to take advantage of you.”

He's a serial killer. A sadist. Why should he care?

You bite your lip. “And how would you be doing that?”

“I'm in a position of power.”

And yet he doesn't move.

“Protecting me. Following me. Let's face it. You talk big shit but if I say jump, you don't even ask how high. You just do it.”

A growl reverberates from deep in his throat. He's uncontested. Always in control.

But here…he doesn't move.

You put your hands on him again. Your fingers curl under his lapels again and this time you use the grip to pull him down to you as you kiss him. You don't get too heated with it. Just to test the waters.

He returns the kiss, though. You feel good. Your lips seem to fit perfectly with his and, to his surprise, he doesn't mind you taking over.

At least, not first.

You back him up to the desk and with the impact he's forced to sit. He feels a hand snake down to palm at his hardening crotch and when he gasps, you take the opportunity to slip a tongue in his mouth.

“How many times have you fantasized about this?” You ask against his panting breaths.

“About this? Not yet. But me bending you over my desk and fucking you from behind? Plenty.”

“Wouldn't kill you to give up some control now and then,” you whisper, undoing his belt.

“It would, actually.”

He watches through lust-hazed eyes as you sink to your knees between his legs.

Christ, it's too good to be true.

He uses his hold on your hair to gently guide you away from his crotch.

“As much as I love this view- and make no mistake, I do love it. I think we should save it for later. This carpet’ll ruin your knees.”

He helps you up and pecks you softly on the lips.

“Let me take you out to dinner.”

You smooth down the front of his jacket where you rustled it.

“Such a gentleman.”

“Better than taking you straight home.”

“Not here?”

He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and leans in to whisper.

“Because when you cum, I want it to be as loud as possible.”

He relishes in the way you shudder from his words. But you compose yourself quickly enough to catch him before he pulls away.

“I was thinking the same thing about you.”

And you bite his ear and it takes everything in himself to not take you right here and now.

“You gonna get home alright?” He asks, his eyes softening.

“Yeah, I'll make it.”

“Nah, I'll drive you home. Gotta run an errand anyway.”

“Shit. You gonna become one of those possessive guys that never lets me out of your sight?”

“Don't tempt me.”

You gather yourself and he follows you out the door of his office, but not until he gives your ass one final squeeze.

[tidesreach]

i think the issue with cql/mdzs fandom (specifically jiang cheng antis) is that it seems to have a very rigid view on a) what being a good person looks like and b) what trauma looks like, or significantly, what it should look like, and c) the meeting point of the two: what being a good person with trauma should look like. e.g. the way wei wuxian is held up as this sort of shining example of how to be traumatised the right way. so much of this fandom consistently frames wei wuxian as Good Traumatised rather than what he actually is, which is quite simply a person with various trauma responses and trauma-learnt behaviours that he did not choose and that have no actual bearing on his goodness. whereas jiang cheng is condemned as Bad Traumatised when actually he is just a person with different trauma responses and trauma-learnt behaviours that he also did not choose and that also have no actual bearing on his goodness. people categorising the way wei wuxian responds to his trauma as Good and the way jiang cheng responds to it as Bad (or even Evil) is a mindset that is deeply rooted in stigma whether you realise it or not.

like, i don't interact with jc antis if i can help it. which, yeah, is because i have no interest in reading endless hate posts. but i also steer clear predominantly because as someone with a heavily stigmatised mental illness a lot of the discussion around jiang cheng and the notion that trauma making you angry and hateful = Bad reads as "i support people with mental illness but only the people with symptoms that i personally find palatable" which is very reminiscent of frankly dehumanising real life debates around whether people who display certain symptoms (people like me) are worthy of help (or whether they even can be helped or whether they are just inherently terrible people etc.). and that is a horrible and damaging thing to read about yourself.

essentially, it all boils down to the wholly problematic idea that there are right and wrong ways to be traumatised—as if (in the absense of therapy and/or medication) you have any choice or control over your own symptoms/trauma responses—and that anything that doesn't fit into the "trauma made me kinder" mold is the wrong way to be traumatised. which is exactly what stigma is and why a lot of people have to fight so hard to get a modicum of help. so much of the language used around jiang cheng's trauma and his emotional responses to that trauma is rooted in real life stigmatising rhetoric that denies people the help they need and deserve because they're not the right type of mentally ill. this mindset that wei wuxian did trauma right and jiang cheng did trauma wrong is based on a made up concept designed to demonise certain mental illnesses.

it's like, there are so many takes which go something like, "well, wei wuxian has trauma too and he didn't do x, y, z." and sure, you're right, he didn't do x, y, z, but he did do a, b, c, if you see what i'm getting at. and arguing that a, b, c, are better responses than x, y, z shows a lack of understanding of the complexity of trauma and the way it can be informed by self-perception or perception other people have of you, i.e. it can become a bit (or a lot) of a self-fulfilling prophecy. because if anything the idea that trauma made wwx kinder oversimplifies the damaging effects it actually had on him. because it also made him reckless and (re)vengeful. it also gave him a messy saviour complex that repeatedly leads to ruin (like, man, when jiang cheng says to wei wuxian in anger, "wei wuxian, do you have a saviour complex?" he reads him very well. he knows him very well. in the same way wei wuxian knows that jiang cheng holds on to too much anger). wei wuxian's trauma is just as messy as jiang cheng's but it manifests in very different ways. different ways, not the right ways. wei wuxian's trauma responses hurt people too and you can acknowledge that. it doesn't make him Bad.

what seems to cause real issue though, is the differences in the way they respond to trauma. what causes real issue is that those differences are indisputably to do with certain symptoms jiang cheng displays being the more stigmatised ones. it's his anger and hatred and volatility. it's his very extreme fear of abandonment and equally extreme efforts to avoid it by furiously protecting what he has left because he cannot bear to lose anything or anyone else. it's his dichotomous thinking that can make him irrational. but those are not evil or wrong trauma responses. they're just trauma responses and they are actually fairly common trauma responses at that. certainly more common than "trauma made me kinder". i don't know who needs to hear this but a person's involuntary emotional responses to trauma are not an indication of whether they are a good person or not. you can struggle with anger and hatred and symptoms considered "less palatable" and still be a good person. trauma does not give "bad" symptoms to bad people and "good" symptoms to good people because there is no such thing as a morally good or a morally bad symptom.

people need to stop letting stigma inform their (mis)understandings of mental health and trauma and try to remember that there are real life people who suffer from the symptoms they are stigmatising and who face barriers every single day because of that stigma.

[whumpshaped]

the phenomenon of people pining for emotionally unavailable and quite frankly just gross and horrible bastards has captivated me for so long. why do people do this. is it just saviour complex. is it just victim complex. is it the need to feel special. well i drew a new conclusion tonight.

insecurity.

i think it's not enough for you to melt someone's icy heart, nor is it enough for you that you're the ~special chosen one~. i think you need them to consider you a person and everyone else just dirt beneath their feet because every time you see them mistreat someone you can be reassured that they would never trade you. you apologise on their behalf and make excuses and give people placating smiles and say 'oh they didn't mean it' but deep down you know you'd feel worse if your beloved treated everyone with basic respect like they do you.

that or youre on the ace spectrum and pining for people who will never love you back feels safe + youre possibly into bdsm

[slightlytoastedbagel]

do kanade I'm intrigued now by thr pfp change

pfp change was another matching one with the wonderful wife (Demi if you're reading this hiiiii) but I can do Kanade :3

First impression: (read Nightcord intro) oh. oh I feel so badly for her

Impression now: her issues are grand her saviour complex is even grander I wish to study her like an insect. currently fav Nightcord member nfrjfndkckdo

Favorite moment: Immiscible Discord. Standing up to Mrs Asahina. Ahhhhhh

Idea for a story: we've had multiple unit leader focused events yet her dynamic with Kohane hasn't been as explored as some of the others (Ichika and Minori). Yes I know there's also Tsukasa but fandom has already gotten to that so much. Also I'm the Kohane guy ofc I'm saying this. Kohane and Kanade event please.

Unpopular opinion: idk. KanaMafu was unhealthy to begin with yes but overtime they've come to genuinely appreciate each other and not just what they give and is actually a really compelling dynamic and they care for each other? People still seem to be tied up in making Nightcord appear as just absolutely horrible to each other and not just teenagers with issues making music together because they like each other. So yeah.

Favorite relationship: totally not related to that previous thing, KanaMafu. But also Nightcord as a whole.

Favorite headcanon: the music box is still in her room somewhere. idk if the music box's whereabouts are mentioned it's been a while since I've read outside of vbs but. the music box is in her room.

[tahopo]

loveee kaleb he’s so interesting and i don't mean to be presumptuous or like step out of line (please tell me if i am,, he is not my oc after all)

but i really would like to understand the circumstances you have built around him and what made him feel so strongly attached to amethyne enough to put her through THE JOINING? because that is frankly unhinged!

does he understand the social influence he, a human noble, has on her, an elven orphan? what even was his relationship with iona? what does fergus think of him (because you said kaleb didn’t want another oren situation?). or anyone in general? sorry, this is so much but after ten years of feeling meh about it, you have opened my eyes to the cousland origin!!

This is such a goldmine ask like I’m so excited…

First off, I have it that the Mac Eanraigs were descendants of reavers whose excessive blood consumption changed their genetic makeup. I have a whole thing about that but it’ll make this too long!! But they mainly drank giant blood. The fact is this: Kaleb is not a stranger to weird blood rituals. Open the door to taboo and you find yourself easily one foot in it.

Secondly, I’m so ！ ！ that you picked up on the whole social imbalance surrounding him. Yes. Yes ! His unorthodoxy or weirdness doesn’t negate fact he’s a very wealthy human man on the favoured side of the social strata. His actions are well-intentioned and noble, but they also come from a place of privilege. He was groomed to be an ambassador; politicking and taking ownership of people’s lives like chess pieces is second nature to him. He has a saviour complex deep down, and he operates on moral masochism— and this informs a lot of his decisions. He has no right to save her. But he has the resources to- why shouldn’t he use them? And if one day she hates him for it, he will devote his existence to that hatred. Better to repent than to regret. This is similar to what he does to Alistair. He loves through self-exile.

As for Iona. The crazy thing is he only spoke to her briefly. He never shared a bed with her, he’s not that kind of guy. That option always made me uncomfortable. ‘Amethyne’ was just a name spoken in passing, but Amethyne is the only tether Kaleb allows himself to from before that horrible night in Castle Cousland. There’s a level of guilt at play because he was so often away from home studying in Orlais, he certainly did not watch Oren grow up! Amethyne was a faint remedy to that: she’s a this-time-around made realised. He never goes back to Highever btw. Ever. Not even for the funeral. Not even for Fergus. He refuses to confront ghosts, but he can dedicate himself to those alive. Or those he forced to stay alive.

He pushes Alistair away from the Battle of Denerim to maximise his safety. He sabotages every chance of death Loghain has to maximise his suffering. He puts Amethyne through the joining and goes on a doomed Grail trail to maximise her life.

What Kaleb does is very wrong and he knows it. His relationship with Fergus suffers. Alistair is compelled to co-sign a death sentence-adoption paper in the middle of a bitter divorce fallout. He watches the horror dawn on Velanna, Sigrun, Nate, Anders’ faces when they discover they are not the Warden Commander’s first fledged.

And Amethyne herself grows up to hold as much resentment as she does deep affection for him. You are not my saviour!!!!! But you are my father. And we all have to live with that.

(and i can sense through the taint when you’re absent and worse when you’re present and still won’t approach. anora looks at me funny. i don’t know what loghain looks at me with, but i hate him. and why do you act different, more fond around kieran and his mother whom you are not even in love with than you do with father, whom you are, and i. and he’s stuck in a castle just like my real mother was and you’re wasting away just like my real father did and and and)

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Ange, as usual I come with my post-episode thoughts-

This episode was quite good, I say that of course meaning it was pretty good, all things considering in terms of the character developmental issues we've all been highlighting so far. I know that generally after every episode airs we all talk about the shitty mistakes the show's made, myself included, and the way things could've been better handled, but I thought this week, I'd try and say some more positive things-

The acting, superb, as usual. Ryan Condal may be full of shit, but boy do these actors make do with what they've been given.

Aemond speaking High Valyrian? Yes, I did giggle and blush, it was hot as FUCK

Seeing Sunfyre, and that little moment where Aegon smiled with his dragon, I wished we could've seen more of their bond. Aemond serving cunt while fighting. Sir? You're slaying dragons (and possibly your brother) and you're serving cunt?

I like Alys so far, actually, seeing more of her makes me more curious to see her interact with Aemond

Daemon in Aemond Targaryen dress-up

Another Milly cameo.

Gwayne Hightower serving cunt

There are more, but these come to mind. Naturally, of course, I had my issues, but the usually are a continuation of what I had issues with before, such as-

The greens basically hating each other

The non-existent brotherly relationship between Aegon and Aemond

Helaena erasure, Jaehaera erasure, Maelor erasure (What, no Daeron mention?)

This episode made it more clear the angle being taken, that Rhaenyra is some form of the righteous, morally correct side, and the greens are the villains, versus both sides being morally complex, and the characters having good and bad traits, for example Aegon caring for his family, yet he's obviously not the best ruler Aemond being loyal to his brother, yet clearly ambitious, Rhaenyra actually being selfish, not just some saviour-esque figure. This angle annoys me because it takes away from what is in my opinion a key aspect of the story in the books, which is that all of these people are complex, do good and horrible things, and this is a war of succession, not this whole thing about Rhaenyra finally going to war because of the song of ice and fire, and all what Viserys told her.

I really can't handle the whole Aemond betraying Aegon thing. Both teams are flawed, yet the show makes it look like only team green is. Look forward to your thoughts too <3

-🦋 anon

Alright. I am here to dump my thoughts! Thank you for returning each week for this, I adore you for it!

I have made my peace with the deviation from the source material. I have a better time watching if I treat it as a separate piece of media.

Daemon is basically useless at this point, just tripping balls at Harrenhal and achieving absolutely fuck all. Having said that, I am enjoying the hallucination scenes, and Alys's character is so, so interesting. I love what Gayle has done with her.

I am growing a little frustrated with Rhaenyra's approach. I get that she wants to be a peaceful ruler, and to avoid war, but war is happening right under her nose. It's good to see some discord being sewn among Team Black - them playing the picture perfect, grieving family while the Greens are at each other's throats was beginning to grate on me a little. Jace's frustration was really well acted and totally believable.

I enjoyed the meeting of the small council - I feel like Aemond got his own back for Aegon humiliating him in the brothel. I do feel for Aegon though, he is being ignored and discarded by his family, and I feel if there was a little more cohesiveness then he wouldn't behave so rashly.

I really felt the absence of both Otto and Helaena this episode.

I teared up seeing the scenes between Rhaenys and Meleys, and Aegon and Sunfyre, knowing what was to come. I cried at Rhaenys's death. Seeing the light go out of Meleys's eyes broke me.

I don't think what Aemond did to Aegon was premeditated, he was simply frustrated and wanted to get him out of the way, so he couldn't cause any further problems. His means for doing so were incredibly extreme though!

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode. I am hopeful the rest of the season will be much better in the second half.

[peachymilkandcream]

Someone to Love|Part 7(Finale)|Reiner Braun x Jealous Reader

(A/N: This was a short little series but I really did enjoy it and I hope you guys did too! We'll see how long this gets, maybe shorter, maybe longer, I'm not sure. But regardless I hope you guys like it and don't feel too sad at the end of everything <3)

WARNINGS: implied nsfw, depression, attempted suicide, violence, general angst, slowburn, lowkey love triangle with a happy ending, not a warning but Reiner calls you nicknames instead of y/n (because I personally can't stand it)

==============================================

She ran, trying to escape the inferno that was threatening to destroy them all. How had Reiner's mission failed that horribly? Where was he now? Alive or dead, taken prisoner or rotting in a ditch somewhere, he was gone.

She wiped tears as the realization hit her, their goodbye would be their last and she'd never see him again. Maybe she should just end it all right here, stop so that the Titans could trample her underfoot and that would be the end of it. She could even join Reiner in the afterlife. They could be happy together.

No. He would want her to live, to make the most of the little time she has left since he would never get the same opportunity to grow old and die peacefully. Reiner had lost his will to live, she couldn't let him down by losing hers either. She had to keep fighting.

So she ran on.

==============================================

His homeland was in ruins, all those Reiner cared about most likely dead and gone. He would never see his mother again, his aunts, uncles, and dearest friend. The one who had stood by his side, and never betrayed him.

Reiner glanced back to Evelyn, tightening her ODM gear so that it fit properly.

Something about her had changed, after sheepishly siding with Levi she seemed to have more resolve, more of a backbone. As if she didn't care what anyone thought about where her loyalties lay. She had used him, and clearly without much remorse.

Reiner deserved it, he had started this mess by kicking down the wall. But still.

The thing was, Evelyn wasn't his problem. If she wasn't willing to help herself then his saviour complex would never get him anywhere but dead in the Ackerman basement. He had given her a way out time and time again, and yet she still ran back to Levi. That wasn't his fault, so why was he putting that on himself? If she wanted to be with him fine, he should move on.

Which was easier than he thought, in these last moments of the world he only thought of his friend. She was kinder to him than anyone, always following him around and hoping to get his attention. His mother had always said that she had a crush on him, but had that changed when he became a huge prick?

She was right, Evelyn did betray him in the end. And Reiner had only yelled at her. He was an asshole and yet he waited until she apologized before saying anything. He should have been the one apologizing, it was his fault. All his fault.

And now she could be dead.

Reiner shook his head, he couldn't let himself think like that. She had to be alive, he just knew it. Her fiery spirit wouldn't allow her to be killed so easily, he knew she'd live on. She was probably waiting for him in Marley right now.

Despite how positive his thoughts, Reiner's stomach still turned as he watched the fires burn.

==============================================

She had managed to find what little safety she could with the remaining Eldian survivors up on that cliff. They all knew with the remaining military cut down their chances would be slim to live. She and the others could only watch in horror as the footsteps came closer and closer.

And then an airship.

The bright flash of light filled her with hope, there was only one man she knew that would be brave enough to stand against the tide to save humanity.

A true warrior.

==============================================

Everything came to Reiner in a blur, the fighting, explosives, Eren's Titan head blown clean off, survivors. His mother, family.

She was there. She was alive.

Reiner stared at her through his Titan form, he couldn't give up. Not when that thing started moving toward those he cared about most. Not when Eren stood up to continue his fight.

This was all for her, he wanted her to be happy.

Damnit, she deserved a happy ending. And he cared about her, with everything that they had been through together he cared about her. She couldn't just die, he wouldn't let her. He had to keep fighting.

===============================================

It was over. Finally this horror was over, they were free. She looked to Reiner laying beside her, slowly waking to the feeling of his fate changed, a fate where he didn't have to die so young as a Titan. They could be free.

But he didn't want her, he had made it clear she was nothing more than a friend. That's all she would ever be to him.

She didn't want him to feel like he had to hang on, that he owed it to her. If he wanted to be happy with this woman then she should respect that and allow him to be with her in this free world. She had to let him go.

==============================================

Reiner was too busy making sure everyone was alive he didn't notice at first when she gave him distance. But when he did the void of her presence was immense and sat like a weight in his gut. He was frantic to find her, but thankfully she hadn't gone far so he was able to catch up to her quickly.

"Hey- kid- wait-"

"You're free now Reiner, you can live your life how you want with the girl that you love."

"What? No, no I don't want a life with Evelyn."

"Why not? You told me that you were in love with her."

"You're right, I did, but she's different, she not who I thought she was deep down. You were right about everything, all of it. She was a traitor, and she didn't have my best intentions in mind. You were right about everything and I should have listened. I'm sorry."

She was slightly stunned to hear him admit so openly that he was wrong, she didn't expect it. "I forgive you-"

"Listen, when I was up there, getting ready to die a warrior's death, I didn't think about Evelyn, or my mom, or anyone else. I thought about you."

Her cheeks heat with a blush. "Me?"

"Yeah, how no matter what happened, I just wanted to see you again. And I don't know if it's a sign but now that I'm free from this curse of a Titan, I want to live life to the fullest, without the hanging threat of death. I'm still so young, I want to really live every moment to it's full potential."

Her eyes well up a little with tears. "You don't know how happy that makes me-"

"And you know what, part of that life is to go out, meets girls, go out with them, and I don't know if it'll be anymore than a one time thing, but I want you to go out with me-"

"Reiner- right now-"

"Well, once the world's somewhat back into place- I'm a big idiot who knows nothing about anything with girls and women but my heart's telling me to go with it, and I want to go with it with you-"

She takes her hand in his.

"Then let's go with it."

The End

[nayruwu]

I wanna know the lunaify gureshin lore please

ha ha! i'm so glad you asked!

i'm not trying to say the way their relationship is in canon is bad, because kagami just had different priorities in the story. i don't think a casual reader would think anything is missing, but i spend a lot of time thinking about these characters specifically so naturally i'd want to fill in the gaps.

right off the bat i think the way shinya introduces himself to guren is kind of... odd. it's his thing to mask his feelings and intentions, so for him to immediately overshare and dump all of that onto guren first chance he gets feels rushed and, quite frankly, out of character. even if he really wanted guren as an ally, it would have made more sense to observe a whole lot more first and try to gain his trust more slowly. imagine how much more charming it would have been if guren had thought shinya to be a spoiled hiiragi brat at first, and only slowly realised that hey, he's like me. the scene where seishiro punches him in the face would have been perfect for this. or, you know those scenes where a character accidentally lets something slip or moves in a way that reveales bruises or wounds they have and then they stand there awkwardly not knowing how to react? it's cheesy but i love fondue so it's fine.

one thing that i've seen in fanfiction a couple of times is shinya being ashamed of his past in the training facility, and intentionally never mentioning it to guren (thinking he, the selfless saviour of the ichinose, would be disgusted at his selfishness). and i really like this idea! shinya having tried so hard to be guren's friend and not wanting it to be destroyed. guren finding out and being horrified, not at shinya but at the hiiragi, because what the fuck are they doing to little children? the conversation that would have to follow after. it'd be intriguing development where they'd both have to open up and be honest. but recently as i was rereading the novels i realised that guren just... already knows about the trials. i can't even remember where exactly it was mentioned, but it's there in a side sentence, casual, without a second thought. booooo. boring. huge missed opportunity.

... which also leads into the next point. because even in resurrection, even when they call each other 'best friend', guren never really thinks about shinya. and i know how this sounds - of course he thinks about him! like, literally all the time! but what guren thinks about is how he needs him, how he wants him to live, how he doesn't want to exist without him, but he never really thinks about shinya himself. normally, you'd want to know about your best friend's life, try to be there for them, worry about their wellbeing. in canon, this is never considered. shinya doesn't ask for support, guren doesn't give it. i get that this is a really complicated issue considering that before the catastrophe they're mostly not that close and guren has like a million different problems to deal with & after the catastrophe his biggest concern is keeping shinya alive, but i did come up with a solution for this (sorry i went on a tangent there again the shinsanity is getting to me). so what shinya often does is put guren's goals and wishes above is own (be that by not being able to figure out what he wants and helping guren achieve his goals instead (canon) or quite literally being in love with him but never acting on or even acknowledging it (interpretation)). shinya knows that guren has a horrible case of saviour complex, has watched him repeatedly destroy himself to try and save someone else. so it would make total sense if he, having devoted himself to supporting guren, didn't want to become the reason he gets hurt. it would make for a horribly sad situation because there is no way guren would want to accept this but it plays right into his need to keep shinya at a distance, so there's nothing he can do about it.

let them snuggle.

just a glimpse into my dark, twisted mind😈

[kaeyx]

I'm really sick of how the Fyodor misscharacterisation in the Fandom so he's my take. Fyodor wouldn't ever be an abusive romantic partner creepy? For sure but not abusive. Fyodor loves all humanity and believes in the depths of his whole being that what he does is for the betterment of people he does get cruel when he has to be but he's not sadist he has saviour complex that's for sure and is a bit narcissistic but he treats EVERYONE with respect and is always polite and well spoken it was confirmed by asagiri himself that fyodor would give his partner a country as a gift and if I take traits of the real Dostoyevsky whom fyodor was based on he would be very much sweet with his so, probably nothing sexual for a while and very vanilla would choose his partner based on their intellect and personality idk where this mean abusive Fyodor in fanficts keep coming from

-🧩

To be fair I like making him toxic and horrible because I think it's hot. Other than that it's probably a bad case of the anime cutting out his silly scenes + typical character deformation over time. Bsd has very complex characters and it can be hard to replicate them correctly