#and a cover but that doesn’t count because I only like Caleb’s version because it’s him

[raeofgayshine]

I also don’t have Spotify, but I do listen to a lot of the same songs so here’s 7 of the ones that have been stuck in my head recently

- Bi Bi Bi (a Sub Radio parody of Bye Bye Bye)

- The Story Of Us (Taylor’s Version) (because Stony)

- Neptune by Sleeping At Last (one of the songs always in my head)

- Look What You Made Me Do cover done by Caleb Hyles

- Sunflower by Post Malone & Swae Lee (another song always in my head)

- Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne (for silly story writing reasons)

- White Women’s Instagram by Bo Burnham (damn catchy song in my head)

@athenixs @undeniablycandycane @magicallygrimmwiccan and anyone else that wants to do this!

tagged by @waspcup fr my top 7 spotify on repeat songs! (ignoring my sleep playlist songs cause i loop that for the entire night every night so i think that may be a little skewed)

cry for judas - the mountain goats

terrifyer - ajj

permanant rebellion - l.s. dunes

dear percocet - frank iero and the patience

suffocation - against me!

hatebreeders - misfits

rapid decompression - against me!

um um um tagging @noctude @avephelis and @castihoney and anypony else who wants 2

[sleeplessangelsgame]

73 and cal mayhaps 😌

Ah yes 😌 We love the ‘right person, wrong time’ trope in this house.

73. “Amazing how quickly the past becomes idyllic.”

“You still have that?” Cal says.

My heart thumps painfully in my chest at the sound of his voice. A younger version of myself would have given everything to hear it again. The person I am now has given everything, but I am old enough to know that having Cal in my life again doesn’t dull the edge of the hurt. It merely blossoms into something else entirely.

“Yeah,” I say. In the undercurrent of that weighty word is something far grimmer: it’s the last thing I had of you, so I held on to it too tightly, fierce enough to bruise.

With gentle fingers, I slide the book back into its place on the bookshelf. Moving in with Cal felt like a waltz without music, a dance without steps. Fumbling on the uncertain ground but trudging on regardless. It was so much simpler to study the spines of the books in front of me rather than Cal’s expression. I adjusted the straight rows with fluttering hands, wiping away imaginary dust with my fingertips.

The distraction does not work. It never has, not when it came to the both of us. Cal quietly moves to step up beside me, his warmth and his presence sending nervous butterflies quivering in the pit of my stomach. We spend a long moment in silence, breathing in sync, my meager collection of books exposed before us.

“Did you read it?” Cal finally asks, his voice soft. He doesn’t reach out to take my hand, and I’m torn between the ache of longing and the rush of gratefulness. We stand on solid ground and stumble off-kilter. Still trying to find our balance after the years, the distance forged because of the towering height of the lies. The tears are still fresh, and in my most desperate moments, I wonder if they will ever dry up and vanish into nothingness. Or if I am doomed to a drowning death, far from land, far from help.

“A little,” I admit.

He reaches out and pulls the book from its place, and I finally dare to look at his face. The expression there takes my breath and holds it; the softness around the edges of his dark eyes, the delighted little smile touching the corners of his gentle mouth. It’s an expression of reverence, a chasm of fondness.

“I wondered for a long time,” Cal says quietly, running his fingers over the pristine cover, “if you had kept it. If it was worth keeping. Sometimes the past can be more… idyllic as a memory.”

I watch Cal as he openly admires the cover of his favorite collection of Arabic poems, the one he had left behind when he moved to Wayfare. By the time his mother had let me into his room, there had been nothing left except a bare mattress and empty drawers.

Only this book remained, tucked underneath his bed, where he knew I would look. When we were young, there had been countless nights where we would curl up together on his bed, the sheets twisted around us, his soft voice humming in a language I didn’t know as he read aloud. His first love confessions, spoken in the dead of night, were left underneath his bed when he vanished beyond my reach.

My chest tightens with the surge of memories, a sea of turbulent emotions churning in my gut. In the warmth of the afternoon sunlight, amongst the cardboard boxes of our new apartment that still need to be unpacked and organized, Caleb Kassab looks ethereal. Divine in the way he breathes, a stray dark curl falling into his eyes that he doesn’t bother to wipe away. He’s mortal in the way that counts - he bleeds and he cries and he fails in his own judgment - but he lingers in the back of my mind with the presence of an old god. His memory had served as a moral compass and a destination for the lost, wandering version of myself.

“It was,” I say. “It is worth keeping.”

And so are you, is what I don’t say, but Cal turns to me and smiles as bright as the sun as if I had confessed it, and I bask in the warmth of it. 

[utilitycaster]

Wizard Breakdown Tracker #3, episode 133

Greetings and salutations to the exercise I have set upon myself, which is to say deciding the relative mental stability of Wizard NPCs who have been subjected to the Mighty Nein. My intent is to do this at least until Trent Ikithon has fucked off this mortal coil and/or been thoroughly deposed and humiliated.

As a reminder Caleb Widogast is a member of the Mighty Nein and a PC and therefore excluded from these calculations. Wizards who haven’t been seen or heard from lately and about whom I don’t have anything funny to say about will not get a full blurb, but as they re-enter the main narrative so will they re-enter the list. Currently, this is the Essek Thelyss Show ft. Trent and the Volstruckers with guest appearances by Yussa and Allura.

Currently sidelined: Oremid Hass, Known Gem Wizard Hotsauce Lutefisk (I am going to reuse this stupid joke name for him until it doesn’t make me laugh at my own joke anymore, which will probably be never), Pumat Sol (who I hope is having a great day), Ludinus Da’leth (who I hope is not but in true laissez-faire rat bastard form, probably is).

Vess D wasn’t there/morning time in Eiselcross or at her job or anywhere/they snuck in and took her life/and we noticed that her spellbook’s gone and that she’s covered in red eyes.

Trent Ikithon: Okay with the caveat that it’s been a very long time since I saw the entire movie and our only update is Artagan taking a moment from his busy schedule of traveling the globe in the direction of the sun such that he is always technically day-drinking to tell Jester that Trent’s biding his time, I’m getting real Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Frollo vibes. Except instead of Catholicism and lust, it’s nationalism and an unquenchable thirst for power and control, and also he does not feel guilty in the slightest. He’s not at Hellfire levels yet but he will get there and I am slightly disappointed that due to the constraints of a D&D game we do not get an even more fucked up version of the song Hellfire.

Conclusion: 6/10. Slowly stepping it up. Also here’s the great thing: while we know Caleb is going to come after him next, he doesn’t, and the Nein didn’t tell any world governments about the threat of the city unless you count the Tal’Dorei Council via Allura, which means for all intents and purposes they just disappeared into Eiselcross...except Trent also knows Caleb disappeared for five or six years once before and reports of his death were greatly exaggerated. If Caleb weren’t dedicated to the noble goal of ending the Volstrucker program ASAP, he could just chill for a year or so and then pull a really stellar Surprise Bitch move and maybe just get Trent’s heart to explode.

Essek Thelyss: He got a good night’s trance and weird physical affection from a giant ape Caleb and he was healed by Caduceus and he had a serious conversation with the first true peer and one of the first friends he’s ever known about how high-level wizardry may not necessarily corrupt absolutely. And, of course, soup. I mean they are about to head into a terrible battle but he’s at full health and spells and he’s a valued member of the team and his friends love him SO MUCH.

Conclusion: 5/10. There is a distinction between a breakdown and being in a very high pressure situation, and he got some nice moments of respite this week. With that said do I think that post-battle, should he survive (HE BETTER) a whole lot of anxiety will come crashing back? Yeah.

Astrid Beck: With Trent in a holding pattern he’s got to be turning up the mind games on her; I have to imagine he suspects and then she suspects that he suspects and it’s a whole mess, but I’ve said that already. But also just like, in general, I think her speech to Caleb back when he first contacted her was genuine in many ways and specifically I think she was likely to have been Trent’s New Golden Child and then suddenly that got yanked out from under her for still more mind games; I think her difference in demeanor between that meeting and the dinner was partially Trent being present, but partially her having realized in the interim that she will likely never have anything to show for two decades of pain and doing terrible things and nonstop bullshit.

Conclusion: still keeping her at 8/10 until further notice but like. Astrid’s having a bad time.

Um actually Eadwulf is the monster? The hero’s name is Grendel: Okay meanwhile here’s my totally unsupported Eadwulf headcanon of this week which is that he meanwhile always knew he was not the favorite and probably never would be and while I doubt he ever had particularly noble goals I would not be surprised if he had an exit strategy. Personally I hope he tries card-counting in that casino in Ank’harel and gets kicked out posthaste and then tries being a wizard/some kind of divine caster multiclass in Vasselheim and also gets kicked out but finally becomes like an old-school hermit figure somewhere in the woods of Issylra and Campaign 3′s party runs into him.

Conclusion: also keeping him at 4/10 until further notice.

Allura Vyesoren: It’s time to acknowledge that this episode covered a span of like...8 hours? And presuming the Nein are sort of trying to keep a normal sleep schedule, maybe, and using a comparison of Eiselcross being at a comparable time zone to say, Nicodranas, and it’s 5 hours into the night for them, and we know that around mid-day for Nicodranas was early morning for Emon...honestly she’s probably relaxing with a glass of wine. Unless Wensforth contacted her.

Conclusion: I’m going to let Allura have a good day. She’s at 2/10 because the threat of Aeor will be in the back of her mind but also she’s seen a bunch of idiots kill dragons and Vecna and they didn’t even have a wizard.

Yussa Errenis: Experiencing a great disturbance in the Astral Sea, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and then just like, kept doing that.

Conclusion: I decided to really go all out last week on the infinity jokes and left myself nothing to go on, huh. Anyway this breakdown goes to 11 (out of 10).

[burningdarkfire]

tagged by @saturdaysky​, thank you! always very happy to talk about writing 🤠

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

36 on ao3, with many others left in the past on livejournal or ffnet

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

162k. it’s kind of a shame it doesn’t have the majority of my pre-2011 output as i never ported over my top four or five longest fics. i would’ve loved to see some genuine lifetime totals!

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

9 on ao3 (critrole, nier, hetalia, overwatch, trc, voltron, no. 6, star wars, tiger & bunny). if you expand trc to include anything clamp and throw in code geass then that covers everything i’ve ever published, though homestuck is by far the fandom i have the most WIPs for despite never finishing a single one and deserves a shoutout

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

take my hand / take my whole life too: critrole, 9k, how essek and caleb’s relationship evolves through touch

blue sky, warm sun: critrole, 3.5k, six mornings caleb wakes with essek

dark night, bright stars: critrole, 3k, six nights caleb spends with essek

kitty love: star wars, 1.5k, kylo ren forms a bond with hux’s cat millicent

the walls kept tumbling down: critrole, 2k, caleb spontaneously visits essek after a hard day

commentary and further answers are below the cut!

spots 1-3 on the list are gladly accepted, given that i also think they’re some of my best and most broadly-appealing shadowgast. kitty love gets its spot despite being pure, pointless crack because it’s for a huge fandom, which is fine and fun but i don’t have a lot of personal attachment to it

the walls kept tumbling down is a surprise! it was a self-indulgent “i want a fic exactly like this to fix my mood and instead of digging through the internet for one i’ll just make one up” that i only worked on for a couple of days. i’m glad it clicked for other people!

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i always try to respond to comments, although sometimes a week or two pass by before i can find the energy to sit down and do it

admittedly comments have gone unanswered during months or years when i’m not writing fic and then it feels too awkward to a) go back and respond, and b) respond to any further comments on the fic even if they come in when i’m active. so instead those comments haunt my ao3 inbox forever (oops)

i do appreciate every single one though, and there are some comments that i go back to read if i need a pick-me-up just because they were so nice 😊

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i’ll link my no. 6 fic forgive me because it still dominates my top fics in terms of hits despite being 387 words long. i wrote it in 2011 in less than half an hour, if i’m remembering correctly, and there are a few clever bits in it that i’m still quite proud of

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i don’t usually write or read “pure” crossovers but i do like fusion AUs where characters from one work are imported into the setting of another work

but it’s fandom-dependent. critrole has been an outlier in that i can count on one hand the number of AU fics i’ve read and liked enough to remember. some of my favourite canon-adjacent fics veer off wildly, but they’ve still got their roots in the universe

i’ve published 17 critrole fics myself and they’re all canon-adjacent. i’m only now working on my first fusion-type AU 🤷‍♂️

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

i have one distinct memory of receiving criticism on a fic. in hindsight, it was constructive and pretty fair, but i was a young teen and so it still haunts me

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

i do!! and i’m excited about it because it’s fairly new to me!

i write to the characters, and what kind of relationship i think they’d have, but it’s probably true that my interests tend towards certain relationship dynamics

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i’m aware of!

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, actually! this was about about a decade ago so sadly the details have been lost in the haziness of memory and the inaccessibility of ffnet. i tried to dig it up last night but couldn’t find it again 😔

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i don’t ... think so? my current roommate and i tried co-writing when we were teenagers but none of that got published. it’s possible i’m forgetting something from my livejournal/early tumblr days because i remember doing a lot of ask games and challenges with other writers and fandom friends

now i’m just an introvert who avoids invites to discords because i feel like i simply Do Not Have Time so 🤡 not sure it’s anywhere on the horizon

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

i used to have shipping walls and pairing lists until 2015 or so but i have since accepted that i am changeable like the wind. my interests come and go!

i am a multi-shipper though as a general rule. i’ve never had such a loyalty to a pairing that it would bother me to pair one half with someone else, and i also don’t care at all whether or not a ship is canon. it’s just about what’s interesting!

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i’ve had remarkably sequential focus for my critrole fics and finished nearly every idea i’ve had so far. however, this ACME AU is testing me lol and i’ve spent so much time on it that my list of other ideas to write is only getting longer and longer. nothing is abandoned yet, because not much else has even been started, but i am starting to sweat a little

15) What are your writing strengths?

i love my writing style! i value simplicity and clarity: no flowery descriptions, easy words, few similes, little variance in sentence structures, etc. it can vary, based on my mood or the characters i’m writing, but i like doing more with less

i’ve spent years working at my own style and it is so satisfying to read something i wrote in 2011 and feel how familiar it still is while being able to pick out what i would change

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

recently, it’s been plot. if it can’t be conveyed by 2-4 characters talking to each other then i don’t know how to do it anymore 😭 i’m most invested in emotional resolutions, but it’s probably a good idea to have things happen sometimes!

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i really do not enjoy this when it’s used as a “character quirk”. this includes nicknames, common phrases even if they are spoken that way in canon, and .. everything, really, that’s in a different language

i’ve spent a lot of time in spaces where it seemed widely agreed that doing so was not welcome, and i’ve had considerable fandom “culture shock” reading critrole fics. there are plenty of reasons to have caleb speaking “zemnian” or to emphasize his accent, and those reasons don’t need to be lofty or deep, but i do think there should be a reason beyond “haha this guy says ja instead of yeah”

i promise, absolutely pinky swear, that i don’t judge anyone on an individual basis for doing this. it seems to be a deep-seated fandom trend in this case and i just wish it wasn’t

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

tsubasa reservoir chronicle (trc) all the way back in 2010. tsubasa, my beloved, how you changed my life 💕

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

i like different ones for different reasons, but the top contender might be such is the endlessness for nier automata. it’s a vampire/werewolf enemies-to-lovers fusion AU where i put 2b and 9s in an original universe of mine that i wrote about a lot when i was a teenager

i feel like i did a spectacular job of adapting the universe for nier and i thought i conveyed a lot about the world in a relatively short number of words (the entire fic is just under 5k). i’ve considered more than once that i should use this version of the universe going forward because i enjoy it so much!

-

thanks again for the tag, sky, and i’ll leave this open to anyone else who wants to try as i think most of my mutuals have already been included. don’t be shy about tagging me in your answer if you take my open invite as i love reading these! 💖

[bthenoise]

We’re Starting To Lose It So We Made A Fake Music Award Show To Remember The Quarantine By

We are losing our minds and we aren’t talking figuratively like The Pixies. Every morning waking up in quarantine feels like an episode of Punk’d. 

Where is Aston Kutcher -- oh right, it’s 2020 -- Where is Chance The Rapper? we ask ourselves as we peel ourselves out of bed for what feels like the millionth time.   

Seriously, though. We know you guys are feeling the same way too. We read the tweets. We see the TikToks. Ya’ll are losing your goddamn minds just like us. 

The good thing is, to help with this sense of craziness as best as we possibly can (which isn’t saying much, we aren’t doctors after all -- shout out to all the amazing medical teams out there!) we have constructed the first and hopefully last 2020 Noise Quarantine Awards.

Featuring highly coveted awards such as Best Soundtrack To Fuel Your Hatred For The Government and Best Song To Steal Toilet Paper To, the awards below are meant to shine a light on all the positive things to come out of 2020. 

We know it sounds like an impossible task to put “2020″ and “postive” in the same sentence but somehow we did it. 

Check out the awards below.   

Fantastic Features Award

Silverstein - A Beautiful Place To Drown

Honestly, there are probably about ten different awards we could give Silverstein’s sensational LP A Beautiful Place To Drown. From start to finish, this is hands down one of the band’s best albums yet. However, for the sake of this very serious and very made-up award show, we are happy to present the scene staples with the Fantastic Features Award. 

Not only did the band include familiar favorites such as Beartooth’s Caleb Shomo, Simple Plan’s Pierre Bouvier and Underoath’s Aaron Gillespie, but they also went out of their way to include other artists such as emerging rapper Princess Nokia and Intervals’ guitarist Aaron Marshall. Now if that doesn’t deserve an award, we don’t know what does.  

Back Off Pit Daddies Cause This Song Slaps Award

A Day To Remember - “Mindreader”

But there’s no breakdown! How am I supposed to mosh to this? Would you quit your whining? It’s pretty much impossible for A Day To Remember to write a bad song. And sorry to break it to you pit warriors, they definitely didn’t start with their newest track “Mindreader.

Best Album To Eventually Soundtrack The Next Matrix Movie

Code Orange - Underneath 

Does this one really come as a surprise? Essentially creating their own genre of technology-influenced metalcore (computer core, maybe?), Code Orange’s Underneath is the perfect soundtrack to any type of action-packed, dark web-based, sci-fi thriller like The Matrix trilogy. Now would you like the red pill or the blue pill?  

The Welcome Back, We Fuckin’ Missed You Award

The Ghost Inside - “Aftermath”

A world without new music from The Ghost Inside is a world we don’t want any part of. Thankfully, for the first time since their tragic bus crash back in 2015, the metalcore maestros have returned with the hard-hitting and incredibly emotional track “Aftermath” taken from their soon-to-be-released self-titled album. So for that, the least we could do is present the band with the Welcome Back, We Fuckin’ Missed You Award.  

Honorable Mention: D.R.U.G.S (aka Craig Owens) - “King I Am”

Best Song To Listen To On Repeat And Realize You Successfully Killed Two And A Half Hours Of Your Quarantine

Loathe - “Screaming”

There is nothing made up about this whatsoever. We seriously thank Loathe for creating mind-altering music that transports you to a new dimension.  “Screaming” is a gem and the band deserves to be awarded for it. Oh, and also, I Let It In And It Took Everything is an amazing record everyone needs to hear ASAP.

Best Album To Get Drunk And Talk About Your Feelings To

Violent Soho - Everything Is A-OK

We’re not sure exactly what it is about Australia’s Violent Soho but they always seem to bring the deepest and darkest emotions out of us. Their latest LP Everything Is A-OK is no different. From track one to track ten, the band’s first new album since 2016 is an emotional magnet attracting feeling after feeling leaving us desperate for a drinking buddy and a good cry.

The If It Ain’t Broke Don’t Fix It Award

August Burns Red - Guardians

August Burns Red has been a prominent staple of the heavy music scene for years. Since bursting out of Lancaster, PA with 2005′s Thrill Seeker, the two-time Grammy-nominated act has been a constant source of inspiration with their bruising, top-notch musicianship. Fifteen years later, with the release of their ninth studio album Guardians, the metalcore vets are still as heavy and hard-hitting as ever deserving of our If It Ain’t Broke Don’t Fix It Award.   

Best Album To Eventually Soundtrack The Next Season Of Black Mirror

Enter Shikari - Nothing Is True & Everything Is Possible

Enter Shikari is easily one of the most unpredictable bands in our scene. One minute you think you have them and their eclectic sound pinned down, then the next they release their genre-shattering LP Nothing Is True & Everything Is Possible. With cinematic twists and turns from the rock-oriented opener “THE GREAT UNKNOWN” to the cosmic tornado that is “{ The Dreamer’s Hotel }” and circus-themed “Waltzing Off The Face Of The Earth,” Enter Shikari’s spellbinding LP is a perfect fit for something just as fascinating as the next season of Netflix’s Black Mirror.

Best Album To Get Your Medical Degree To

Vermicide Violence - The Praxis Of Prophylaxis 

We understand it’s not easy to comprehend deathcore lyrics. However, if you’re in need of a good study buddy while you prepare for the boards, look no further than Jarrod Alonge’s new parody album The Praxis Of Prophylaxis. Covering high-end medical topics such as vaccines, gingivitis, asthma and more, Vermicide Violence’s new LP is sure to help a lot more than those Grey’s Anatomy re-runs.    

The Tasmanian Devil Award

Rotting Out - Ronin

The Tasmanian Devil award is a highly coveted prize (possibly one of our most coveted) given to the album with hands down the most circle-pit-inducing tracks. While there have been some pretty good options this year, the record that stands out the most is Rotting Out’s first new album in over seven years, Ronin. Without going too far into detail -- because honestly, it’s pretty obvious why we picked this record -- if you’re able to stand still while listening to these fiery ass songs, you’re probably a cop.

Best Album To Get Drunk And Talk About Your Feelings To Part Two

Spanish Love Songs - Brave Faces, Everyone

Really? You’re gonna complain we used the same category twice in a made-up award show only created cause we’re stuck living fucking Groundhog Day over and over again? Instead, how about you put that same energy into enjoying Spanish Love Songs’ brilliant, tear-jerking album Brave Faces, Everyone. You won’t regret it.

Best Soundtrack To Fuel Your Hatred For The Government

Anti-Flag - 20/20 Vision

Regardless of if you’re really into politics or not, it’s practically impossible at this point to not swear at our so-called “leaders” up in Washington DC. So if you’re looking for the best album to fuel your hatred for the Head Cheeto In Charge and all his helpless minions, look no further than Anti-Flag’s powerful 20/20 Vision.

Honorable Mention: The Homeless Gospel Choir - This Land Is Your Landfill

The Album Most Likely To Get You Out Of Mosh Pit Retirement

Polaris - The Death Of Me

This record is the definition of “slaps.” From beginning to end, Polaris’ punishing new album The Death Of Me is a heavy-duty rollercoaster ride that will leave you with a melted off face and an endless desire to jump back in the pit and crack a few skulls.  

Best Album To Rip A Phat Riff To

Hot Mulligan - You’ll Be Fine

Hot Mulligan are a bunch of jokesters but there’s nothing funny about their new album You’ll Be Fine -- alright, maybe a few of the song titles are a little silly. The band’s latest release is a guitarist’s delight with ringing mathcore-like riffs that will leave you both jubilant and jealous. Case in point, give the infectious opener “OG Bule Sky” a spin and get back to us.   

Honestly, Fight Us, This Song Is A Bop Award

All Time Low feat Blackbear - “Monsters”

We know what some of you cool cats and kittens are thinking: But this isn’t pop-punk!? Since when does Blackbear get a scene pass? Listen up. No, this song isn’t “Dear Maria, Count Me In” but who cares? It’s 2020 and musical genres are dead. Enjoy the good music while you can before we’re all dead too, okay?

Honorable mention: PVRIS - “Deadweight”

Best Song To Steal Toilet Paper To

The Chats - “Drunk N Disorderly”

If you haven’t had the fear of potentially wiping your ass with a washcloth over the last few months, this award probably isn’t for you and your 30 extra rolls of toilet paper. However, for us regular folk who have a limited supply of TP, The Chats’ fast-paced High Risk Behavior track “Drunk N Disorderly” is the perfect song for stumbling into someone’s home and swiping a roll or two.  

Wow We Didn’t See That Coming Award

Falling In Reverse - “The Drug In Me Is Reimagined”

Ronnie Radke has never been afraid to push boundaries musically. Whether it’s rapping on a track or dropping an upbeat, synth-laced single like “Bad Girls Club,” the former Escape The Fate frontman always seems to have something new up his sleeve. This year, to help celebrate 2011′s The Drug In Me Is You becoming gold-certified, Radke and Co. released an epic piano-lead version of their fan-favorite title track. The results? A majestic dream-like experience worth repeating over and over again.

If You Hurt Mother Earth One More Time We Swear You’re Dead Award 

In Hearts Wake - “Worldwide Suicide”

There’s been a lot of talk about global warming over the past few years. Recently, while we’ve all been stuck at home, skies have become clearer than ever as wild animals roam the barren streets. This is a dream come true for earth-friendly metalcore act In Hearts Wake. 

Now as some cities start to reopen, let us remind you: If you even think about going back to your wasteful, pollution-heavy ways, we and In Hearts Wake will come for you with the same force and brutality as heard on their newest track “Worldwide Suicide.” Watch your back.

Sure It’s Different But Still Kicks Ass Award

The Used - Heartwork

This isn’t The Used you knew in junior high. Bert McCrackin and Co. have returned with a fresh-faced 2020 LP that is sure to make you feel some type of way. Featuring guest appearances from members of Blink-182, FEVER 333 and Beartooth, The Used’s latest is a heavy-yet-dancy addition to their beloved-and-never-stale catalog.  

Better Not Sleep On This Record Award

Charmer - Ivy

Look, you literally have nothing but time on your hands. Why not spend it discovering new music from bands who deserve your attention? Seriously, turn off Love Is Blind and Too Hot To Handle and give Charmer’s moody 11-track release Ivy a try. You can thank us later.

Honorable Mention: Big Loser - Love You, Barely Living

Holy Shit We Can’t Believe That Just Happened Award

Dance Gavin Dance - “Calentamiento Global”

Four words we’ve all been thinking since Dance Gavin Dance dropped their highly anticipated album Afterburner: Tilian can speak Spanish!?

Giving the entire Swancore community a jaw-dropping moment with their new experimental track “Calentamiento Global,” in the song, DGD’s brawny frontman shows a little latin flavor with lyrics like “Te adoro, mi reina. Eres la única que veo.” Unsurprisingly, like most Dance Gavin Dance (or should we say Baile Gavin Baile) experiments, the post-hardcore act totally nailed it. 

The Back To Basics Award

The Amity Affliction - Everyone Loves You... Once You Leave Them

The Amity Affliction caught a lot of flack for their experimental 2018 release Misery. While entirely unwarranted as the metalcore vets were just looking to expand their sound, for their 2020 LP Everyone Loves You... Once You Leave Them, the Aussie outfit returned to form with their breakdown-heavy musicianship and brooding lyricism. Still have doubts? How about you give “All My Friends Are Dead” a spin or two.  

Skankin’ Pickle Award

Skatune Network - Ska Goes Emo, Vol. 1

Here’s a fun one. Adding to the list of things we never thought we’d see in 2020, go ahead and add a ska record covering some of your emo favs like My Chemical Romance, Paramore and Blink-182. Already known for his creative covers, Skatune Network really outdid himself this time around with his Ska Goes Emo LP. Who would have guessed you could skank so well to “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)?” 

The 2020 Glow-Up Award

The Word Alive - Monomania

The Word Alive has seen a lot of change over the course of their ten-year career. From 2010′s hard-hitting album Deceiver to this year’s impressive LP Monomania, the band has really grown into who they are today. For the first time, instead of putting out the music they’re expected to release, the Arizona act really stepped out of their comfort zone and dropped the music they wanted to make resulting in one of this year’s freshest and best so far.

Chocolate Covered Cranberries Award

Four Year Strong - Brain Games

For five long grueling years, we went without new music from easycore noisemakers Four Year Strong. This February, that all changed with the release of the band’s killer seventh studio album Brain Pain. Bringing the guitar-lead heaviness fans have come to love over the years along with their infectious pop-punk-leaning songwriting, Four Year Strong’s new record is the perfect balance of sour and sweet -- like chocolate covered cranberries! Who’s hungry?    

[multishipperlove]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre Additional Tags: Essek Thelyss mentioned, zemnian, book research, I'm very explicity not going to tag a ship, but you can probably read this as either Caleb/Jester, or Caleb/Essek, do whatever you like Series: Part 5 of Zemnian Roots Summary:

Caleb has some trouble with placing priorities, and deciding which book he should read next. Jester helps.

Caleb sat in the library of Zadash, five books spread out in front of him. Finally figuring out Halas' notes and finishing the spell, as infuriating and disappointing as their first attempt had been, meant he now had more time for other research again.

But with the Mighty Nein's current position there were a lot of different things calling his attention, and he wasn't sure what to start with. Tharizdun? The coming peace talks between the Empire and the Dynasty? Nott's curse, or even his own aspirations? The library certainly seemed to have it all.

From left to right, the books in front of him seemed to promise some solutions to at least part of his problems. He just wasn't sure which one to start with. The titles he'd been starring at for ten minutes now read as followed:

A People's history of the Dwendalian Empire

Curse Breaking for the Advanced, Volume III

Ancient Cults and Religions: An Exercise in separating Legend from Lore

Age of Arcanum; A Selection of Essays

and,

The In-Between: A Theoretical Approach to Dunamancy

The last one actually wasn't from the library. It had been a parting gift from Essek, along with the promise of another lesson once they returned to Xhorhas. He had to admit, his fingers were itching to pick it up and satisfy his own curiosity, at least a little bit. But theoretical magic was far from learning actual spells, and as interesting as it was, he felt like he couldn't justify that decision at the moment. There were more pressing matters.

And yet. Still no decision on what to read instead.  And as he was pondering his problem, somehow unable to find a proper solution himself, he eventually remembered something that Jester had told Nott not too long ago.

It had been during the discussion whether Nott wanted to return to her halfling form or not. When you can't decide, you play Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, and if you don't like the choice you land on, you know to choose the other one.

Well, that certainly couldn't hurt. He didn't actually know how the rhyme continued in Common, but there were enough similar rhymes in Zemnian to choose from. With a soft sigh he leaned forward in his chair, looking over the books as he started to mutter to himself. “Ene, mene, miste, es rappelt in der Kiste, ene, mene, meck-”

Before he could get any further, he felt two arms wrap around him from behind, startling him terribly. “Caleb! Are you trying a new spell?”

It was Jester. Of course it was Jester. Caleb relaxed again, giving her a small smile. “Hello, Jester. And, ah, no. Not a new spell. I'm-  I'm actually just trying to decide which book I should read. I thought your advice to Nott recently might be helpful.”

She looked confused at first, but then seemed to remember what he was referring to, a wide smile appearing on her face. “That's great! You were saying some pretty weird words though.”

“Well, that may be because I'm using a Zemninan rhyme,” he chuckled. “Didn't quite grow up with Common.”

“Oh, right. Your version sounded fun though,” she told him, finally letting go of him again as she stepped around the table to get a better look at the books. She grimaced slightly at the titles, and Caleb understood why. Most of them didn't sound very... fun. Didn't make them any less important though.

“Would you like to help me choose?” he asked. The thought of sitting there alone didn't appeal to him, even if he would spend the next couple of hours reading, since he'd learned to appreciate his friends' presence.

Luckily, it didn't seem to take much to convince Jester either. “Of course! You can teach me some Zemnian rhymes, and I will teach you ones in Common! I bet the Traveller would love it when I speak some Zemnian, because then I can tell even more people about how great he is.”

Caleb smiled at her enthusiasm and reasoning, more than happy to accept that. “Sure, let's do that. Would you like to start, then?”

She nodded, grabbing a chair from one of the tables next to them and settling down in front of him again. “Okay, so this one is super easy. It doesn't make much sense, but I don't think any of them really do.”

He nodded along, watching as she arranged all five books in a circle and started to count them out, pointing at a new one with every syllable of the rhyme. “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers, let him go, eeny, meeny, miny, moe.”

At her last word, her finger landed on The In-Between. Caleb frowned slightly, sad to see it go so soon, but then strongly reminded himself that he had already ruled that one out anyway.

“Alright, not that one then,” he sighed, quickly placing it aside. He'd make time for it at some point, just not now. When he turned back to Jester, she had a bit of an unreadable look on her face, and her tail flicked behind her, but she didn't say anything.

Not sure if he should mention it, Caleb just cleared his throat and continued. “Well, there's one that's very similar to yours, I think. Just, you know, in Zemnian. Here we go... Ene mene miste, es rappelt in der Kiste, ene mene meck, und du bist weg.”

Next one gone was Curse Breaking for the Advanced, and he wasn't nearly as sad to see that one go. It had seemed rather dry the first time he'd picked it up.

Noticing his mood improving, Jester smiled at him again and started anew, no prompting needed. In a slight sing-song voice, she started: “Bubblegum bubblegum in a dish, how many pieces do you wish?”

She landed on Ancient Cults and Religions , but instead of letting him put that book aside as well, she pushed his hand away as soon as he got close. “No no no, Caleb, you have to say a number.”

“A number?”

“Yes! How many pieces do bubblegum do you want?”

Realizing then that it was apparently part of the rhyme, he nodded. “Right, uh... one, I guess?”

“You can't just say one, that way we know what the result is gonna be. It's supposed to be random, Caleb,” she admonished him, sounding very serious about it too. Caleb considered pointing out that even with a higher number they would know where it landed, since that didn't actually require any advanced math skills, but quickly decided to just keep that to himself. It would probably fall under being a smartass.

“Uh, sure. Seven, then,” he mumbled, seeing with relief as Jester immediately perked up again and finished the rhyme, counting the books out until they reached seven. She landed on Age of Arcanum this time, another book he wasn't very sad to loose.

“Well, I guess this is the last one then,” Caleb muttered, seeing as there were only two books left now. “Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, eine alte Frau kocht Rüben, eine alte Frau kocht Speck, und du bist weg.” His finger came to rest on A People's History of the Dwendalian Empire, and he shrugged slightly as he placed it with the other rejected books.

All that was left not was Ancient Cults and Religions. Honestly, not the worst choice in his opinion.

“Looks like I found something to read then,” he told Jester with a smile, pulling the rather thick tome a bit closer. “Thank you, friend.”

But Jester was looking at him with that unreadable expression again, her tail leisurely swishing back and forth behind her. “But, are you like, happy with that choice?” she asked, tracing some invisible patterns on the table with her fingers. “The whole reason we did this was so you could realize what you really want, right? You don't have to take that one.”

“I think it's a fair choice,” he told her with a shrug, though he couldn't keep himself from stealing another glance at The In-Between.

“But it's not really what you want,” she told him. It wasn't a question.

Caleb sighed, lowering his gaze to the book in front of him. He rubbed his temples with one hand, not sure if he really wanted to have this discussion or not. But then again, he was talking to Jester, she most likely wouldn't leave him much of a choice.

“Well, no, not really,” he finally admitted. “But at least it's useful. The book I actually want, it's more of a- well, of an amusement. It would be selfish to choose that over something that can help us, ja?”

“I don't know, I think it sound pretty useful, too,” Jester replied, reaching over to tug The In-Between out from the pile of discarded books again. She studied the cover for a moment, before looking up to Caleb and pushing it towards him. “I think you should read something you actually want to read, everything else kinda sucks.”

“But-” Some part of Caleb still wanted to argue. He wasn't even sure why, Jester was offering him an excuse on a silver plate right now, and yet... he didn't want to miss anything that could help them later on in one of the other books.

Seeing his confliction, Jester reached over again, swiftly taking Ancient Cults and Religions away from him. “I will make you a deal,” she told him, voice as sweet as ever. “You read the book Essek gave you, and I will read this one instead. That way we can still get really important research done, right?”

“Don't you- don't you have anything else to do? Anything more fun than sitting in a library?” he asked, slightly sceptical. Not that he didn't think Jester could help with this, he just hadn't expected her offer. At all.

“Well, not anymore,” she told him with a smile, opening the book up and looking over the chapter index. “There's a whole chapter about some guy named Vecna, sounds plenty fun if you ask me!”

He couldn't help but chuckle again at her attempt to convince him, and really... he couldn't keep arguing now. Unsurprisingly, her charm had won him over. “Alright, alright,” he mumbled, opening his own book, and taking out some paper and a pen so he could at least take proper notes. “Just let me know when, you know, you would prefer doing something else again.”

“Sure!” she replied, not even looking up from the book. By the end of the day, Caleb was sure it would sport a few new doodles in the margins, most of them most likely distinctively dick-shaped. But he certainly wouldn't be the one to tell on her.

[sockablock]

happy Winter’s Crest, y’all! And an especially happy winter’s crest to @devilessyeet, my @winterscrestgiftexchange partner! I hope you enjoy this piece, and have a great holiday!!

• • • • • • • •

It was midnight in Zadash, long hours past sundown. Mist hung low off the cobbled roads, and the only source of light came from a handful of guarded torches winding through distant alleys and streets. A few clouds drifted slow across the moon and somewhere in the night, a single raven alighted on a rooftop and gently shook its feathers.

In the candlelit interior of his own inn room, Caleb Widogast briefly set down his notebook. His hair was unkempt as always and his coat sat folded next to him, neatly on the bed. He had a rumpled quill between his fingers, and sported a thin smudge of ink at the corner of his mouth from where he would chew at the nib in frustration.

His gaze was glued to a peculiar cannonball-sized object resting on the covers before him. Its twelve-sided form glowed softly in the darkness, and every once in a while, he would see a tiny grey spark break from its surface, then vanish from reality. It undulated faintly with a strange and unknowable energy, and despite his best efforts, he still had barely any idea what it meant.

He glanced back down at his sparse notes. Over the course of the last few hours, he had only managed to rewrite what he already knew: this beacon was connected somehow to the Krynn, had presumably originated in Xhorhas, held some sort of sway over fate and all chance. Caleb himself had felt its power course through his veins a number of times now, and while its influence was immeasurable and its possibilities endless, there was something off-putting about accepting the gifts of an artifact so alien and strange.

He scratched his chin, and tapped the pages once more. Then he looked back up to run a few more tests, and saw.

He instantly lunged out, snatched the beacon into his arms, threw himself up off the bed and set both hands aflame.

And then he hesitated, because the intruder hadn’t even moved.

Sitting on the mattress of his simple low bed, leaning back and posture calm, was a strange young man in dark leather armor. His skin was so pale as to almost glow, and he had a thick cloak of midnight feathers draped across his shoulders. His long black hair was tied up behind his head, and upon further inspection, Caleb could see that the man’s ears were slightly pointed—the tell-tale sign of elven heritage.

He was also tossing a dagger into the air, watching it spiral a moment before catching it lazily. Even more worrying, was the broad smirk across his face. The way his eyes glinted with mischief in the moonlight.

Caleb made his fire burn brighter. To his disappointment, the man’s grin only widened.

“Easy there, friend,” he chuckled. “I’m not here for a fight.”

Caleb raised an eyebrow. His flames crackled on. “You broke into my room,” he said slowly. “You are armed.”

“What, this?”

The young man flipped the dagger up one more time, winked grandly, and then suddenly, in mid-air, the weapon vanished into a thin wisp of shadow.

“Is that better?” he asked.

Caleb stared. He took a small step back.

“Somehow that is even worse.”

The young man sighed. “Look,” he said, and raised his palms in a calming gesture, “look, I really am not here to fight you. If I wanted to, y’know, fuck your shit up, I would’ve done it while you were busy with your pretty little ball. I mean, I got in here without you noticing, yes?”

Very guardedly, very gradually, Caleb nodded his head.

“Exactly,” the man said. “So, please, won’t you sit down? I just wanted to talk. You can even hold onto the beacon, if you’d like, though I imagine you’d rather put it back into its box, so no one can find it during our little conversation.”

A thousand more questions swam through Caleb’s mind. He gingerly retrieved the lead safe from under the bed and dropped the beacon inside. He leaned over, and put his book and inkwell onto the nightstand.

Then he sat down.

“There we go,” the stranger beamed. “Isn’t that better?”

“I am not so certain, yet,” he muttered. “That depends on who you are, and what you wish to speak of.”

The half-elf threw his hands into the air. “Right, right!” he said. “Of course you’d want an introduction. You can, er, you can call me ‘Vax.’”

“Er…ja, okay, I am Caleb Widogast. Though I somehow feel you may know that already.”

Vax grinned. “Too true, Mister Widogast. I know quite a bit about you. And one of those things, if my hunch is correct, is that you and your gang of friends have been messing with something you aren’t supposed to.”

Caleb raised an eyebrow. “Such as…?”

“Come on, come on,” Vax sighed. “I need you to work with me here. Isn’t it obvious?”

“Ja, well, if I am being honest, we have messed with many things over the years, and I am fairy certain a large majority of them were supposed to be off-limits.”

Vax chuckled at that. “Okay, fair.” He pointed at the ground. “I’m talking specifically about that fancy little dodecahedron. The Beacon. And what it represents.”

“What it represents?” Caleb echoed. “You mean Xhorhas?”

Vax sighed again. “No, Mister Widogast. What I represent. Or, should I say, who I represent: Fate, and the goddess of.”

Caleb stared at him. He opened his mouth. He closed it. He opened it again.

“You are a follower of the Raven Queen?”

The corners of Vax’s lips quirked upwards. “Sure,” he nodded. “Let’s go with that. She’s, er, she’s sent me on a bit of an errand, different than my usual duties, to poke into you lot. The long version’s a bit more complicated than that, but mostly I’m just here to ask questions.”

“And…if you do not like the answers?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Your goddess is also the patron of death,” Caleb murmured. “Will you kill me?”

Vax blinked. For a long, long silence, Caleb got the impression that he was trying not to laugh.

Eventually, the half-elf shook his head and offered up a wry smile. “Death doesn’t kill people,” he said gently. “She doesn’t need to.”

“You know, you really make me anxious when you answer my questions that way.”

Vax’s grin widened. “Sorry,” he said. “It’s been a while since I’ve held a proper conversation.”

Before Caleb could comment on that, the man waved a hand around and gestured towards the lead box. “So what exactly are your intentions with that, anyways? Feel free to lie at first, if it makes you feel better, but I’ve got all the time in the world.”

Caleb remembered a shadow where there hadn’t been one before. He remembered a dagger that had turned into smoke. He could feel, though he wasn’t entirely sure how, a tremendous amount of barely-contained power swirling throughout his bedroom.

He swallowed. He shrugged.

“If I am being entirely honest, Herr Vax, the truth is that we have no intentions. We stumbled across this object mostly by accident, and we have been carrying it around in a sparkly pink haversack ever since.”

There was a beat of silence.

“You had it in lead, though,” Vax said, slightly reproachfully. “You knew people were going to be looking for it. Took me bloody months to get a proper pin on you lot.”

“Verzeihung.”

“I get the feeling that you aren’t really sorry.”

Caleb couldn’t help but grin at that. “No, not really,” he said. “Can you blame me?”

Vax chuckled. “No, I can’t. But why keep it?” he asked. “If you say you didn’t want it in the first place, why hang on to something so dangerous?”

Caleb considered this, and then sighed. “We did not want it falling into the wrong hands. And I am not saying we are the right hands, but…we know where this object came from. And it…it was a point of heavy contention between our Empire and the…the neighboring one.”

“Your empire,” Vax noted. “But you didn’t give it to them?”

“Oh, not at all,” Caleb said. “They are not trustworthy. Who knows what they could do with something this powerful?”

“And what do you want to do, with something this powerful?”

Caleb glanced at the box on the bedsheets before him.

“We are going to keep it safe.”

Vax shook his head, leaned in. “You misunderstand me. What do you want to do with it?”

Caleb’s eyebrows went up. “Me?” he asked. “Me?”

“Yes, you, like I’ve said, I’ve done my homework. I know a fair bit about who you are, and who you used to be.” Vax sat back and crossed his arms. “Tell me, Caleb Widogast, why are you keeping the Beacon?”

Caleb restrained himself from answering immediately. He sighed inwardly and shrugged.

“I want to change the past,” he said. “I want to shift reality back into a direction that it never took.”

“Why?”

Caleb glanced up. He met a pair of calm, steady eyes.

“Have you never felt regret, o Follower of the Raven Queen?”

Vax’s expression glimmered in the candlelight. “More times than you can count,” he chuckled softly. “But I will say this: I never once thought about going back on fate.”

Caleb shrugged. “Then you are thinking too small.”

“Perhaps. But what makes you think you can do it?” Vax asked, narrowing his eyes. “What makes you think that you’ll succeed, where nobody else has? What makes you think you’ve got even the slightest possibility of getting what you want?”

There was a second of silence, punctuated by the distant plodding footsteps of a night watchman far below.

“Will you kill me, tonight?” Caleb asked.

Vax shook his head.

“Then I still have a chance.”

The half-elf’s stare cracked, and a smile crept forward. “You’ve got balls, I’ll tell you that.”

“Thank you for reminding me.”

Vax rolled his eyes, and thrust a finger under Caleb’s nose. “I’m not going to kill you, that’s for certain,” he said. “And as far as we know, which is pretty damn much, you haven’t broken any laws regarding life and death. Your meddling with destiny hasn’t led you anywhere too dangerous yet, and it certainly isn’t worth staining my daggers. For now.”

He waved his finger around a little too sarcastically to be menacing. “I am here to give you a warning, though. It’s easy to get sucked into regret. If you aren’t careful, you’ll find your life slipping through your fingers faster than you can bring it back. We all die eventually, Mister Widogast, and we’ve got to use every second that we have.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Herr Vax?”

“Yes?”

“What comes after this? After life, what is next?”

The half-elf gave him a very faint smile.

“I told you already,” he said. “I’m not here to kill you, tonight. In fact,” he added, standing up and stretching his arms, “I should probably head out now. I’ve got things to see and people to do, you know how it is.”

“I do not think that is how the saying goes.”

Vax grinned. “I like to improvise. I imagine you and your friends understand that, pretty well.”

“We think on our feet,” Caleb admitted with a shrug.

Vax nodded his head enthusiastically. “Good!” he declared. “That’s the right way to be. And this part isn’t really a message from my Lady, or anything like that, but…do me a favor, alright? Don’t worry about changing what’s already happened. Focus on keeping what you have now.”

“Excuse me?”

“Your friends,” Vax said. “Hold them close. They’re the best kind of family you can have.”

Caleb’s gaze fell to the ground, and Vax chuckled softly. “Just think on it,” he said. “For me.”

“No promises.”

“None required.”

And then, as Vax crossed the room, as he walked over to the window and reached a hand outside and pressed his foot to the sill and prepared to leap through the night, he paused.

He looked back.

“This is going to sound a little odd,” he said slowly, tone much less serious than it had been so far, “but…there is something very familiar about you.”

Caleb shrugged. “I am no stranger to death.”

Vax threw his head back and laughed. “Good answer, slick. Nobody is.”

And then he nodded one last time to the wizard framed in moonlight, turned back around and slid his shoulders past the frame, kicked up off the hardwood floors, and was gone.

A rush of feathers blew through the room and vanished just as quickly as they’d come. Caleb couldn’t help but rise from the bed, hurry over to the window, stick his face into the cool night air and scan the starry horizon for any sign of where his visitor had gone.

Nothing. Not even a shadow over the moon.

Eventually, he sank back into his mattress. He stared at the lead box. He brushed his fingers to the lid, considered opening it again and taking one last look.

He didn’t.

And from somewhere in the night, somewhere high above the city, over moon-swept rooftops and the distant, shimmering sky, a raven called out to the breeze.

And flew home.

[princess-of-france]

And multiples of 4 for Edmund - just so we've got our boys covered! :) Thank you!

Hey, angel! I’m sorry you had to wait an eternity for this one, but it was a total delight from top to bottom. Thank you for the ask. :)

[Obligatory disclaimer about how I’ll be writing about Edmund as he exists in L.E.A.R., because that’s the version of him I know best.]

Tagging our amazing Lear squad: @suits-of-woe @witty-fool @lizbennett2013 @cordelialear​ @edmundthebastard

4. Best places to kiss on their body

I think I’ll let the sisters answer this one:

GONERIL: On the mouth, obviously. Where else would you kiss someone? It’s romantic, straightforward...plus there’s the added benefit of stifling noise, so we’re less likely to be overheard by James.

REGAN: Just give him a blowjob and be done with it. Self-evident, much?

CORDELIA: Who the fuck told you I wanted to kiss that bastard?

If Edmund himself were to answer this question honestly—which, let’s face it, he never would—he’d probably say that he doesn’t care where someone kisses him, as long as that someone has long dark hair and smells like violets.

8. Bad memories/experiences

Too many to count. In 27 years of life, Edmund has endured more prejudice and spite, more snubs and microagressions, more contempt and more hostility than men three times his age. It’s not easy growing up as the illegitimate, biracial son of the richest lawyer in Manhattan and the ex-stripper mistress he keeps stowed away in an Uptown penthouse, like some princess in a tower, especially when everyone—from Edmund’s peers to his teachers to the paparazzi—are constantly comparing him to his golden older brother, Edgar. 

Counterintuitively, one of Edmund’s worst memories is the death of Marianne Gloucester when he was 14. Even though Marianne had loathed him with every fiber of her being, and never missed an opportunity to exclude, disparage, or belittle him (particularly in front of his brother), her passing crystallized the public’s hatred for Caleb’s “Family of Shame” tenfold. All over New York, people from Goneril to Edgar’s sophomore friends to strangers on the street suddenly began acting as though they’d been given divine license to treat Edmund (and Kessa, for that matter) like a war criminal. The weeks following the car accident saw him get beaten up twice, his bike was stolen, his locker was graffitied, and three different mothers spat on him as he walked home from school. Caleb barely registered any of what was happening to his youngest son, he was so wrapped up in his own guilt-laced grief. And Edgar, typically Edmund’s one defender, was even less of a comfort.

The next time Edmund would feel so completely alone in the world came six long years later, when he made the one mistake he promised his mother he never would and lost the sovereignty of his heart to someone else. Cutting himself loose from her required telling a lie that scalded his throat and fractured his soul beyond repair. Before Cordelia, Edmund had always taken pride in being too far gone for saving. Losing her made him realize that he still wanted to be.

12. Grudges and vendettas

I don’t know. The world? Society at large? The iron fist of monogamy? White privilege? Fucking “family values”? Fiddler on the Roof-level Tradition???

Edmund hates the status quo, because it always leaves him at the bottom of the wheel. But I think the only person he truly wishes he could obliterate—just wipe off the face of the earth—is the girl who can make him forget that the wheel even exists.

As Kessa likes to say, “Distraction breeds disadvantage.”

16. Dark secrets/‘skeletons in the closet’

From the age of 12, he’s been conniving with his mother to disempower his father, disinherit his brother, and usurp control of Lear’s legal team. If that doesn’t qualify as a “skeleton,” I don’t know what could.

20. What-ifs/Alternate Timelines

I mean, if we’re talking about Shakespeare’s masterpiece, there are as many alternate universes as there are productions of the play. (Shoutout to John Macmillan for leaning into Edmund’s sociopathic subtlety, all while dressed in complete military regalia.)

In L.E.A.R., I think the biggest what-if moment that happens before the action of the play is Edmund’s choice to make Cordelia hate him in order to send her running for Paris. Obviously, that only worked for four years, but it did work. It not only got her out of the cloud of his cigarette smoke, it also gave her the space and pain and clarity to become the fierce warrior queen we all know and love. If Edmund hadn’t sold her that story, she absolutely would’ve gone to Columbia and probably majored in Political Science, rather than International Relations. Anything to make her his equal. And she probably would have a very different relationship to her trust fund, because she would know how much he craved it. 

17 years old is just too young to have perspective, especially on the first real relationship of her life. I think if Edmund hadn’t done what he did—which was as much about saving her as it was about refocusing himself—then the violet sister would’ve turned into a creature much more like her sisters. Loving the bastard would’ve supplanted everything, even the moral compass to which she always clung as a child & adolescent.

If we’re talking about events inside L.E.A.R., then I think the biggest what-if to ask would be: What if Kessa didn’t kill herself? Because she does that for one reason and one reason only: to remind Edmund of his endgame. It’s her death that prompts Edmund to break with Cordelia by going after the two women he swore to her he would never seduce: her sisters. The domino effect of that decision leads to the fatal end of the play. If Kessa had lived...oh god, I get goosebumps just thinking about it. I don’t know that it would’ve been “better.” But it would’ve changed everything. The events of Shakespeare’s play might never have happened at all. *incoherent pterodactyl noises*

[tinylilemrys]

Serendipity - a Widojest Fic

Read it on AO3

Rating: G

Word Count: 1,788

Summary: Jester makes an impulsive decision in trying to convince Beau to go for it with Yasha. She's never been more surprised by the consequences.

Tags: Fluff, first kiss, Jester accidentally realises some things she hadn’t realised before

Jester has always prided herself on living in the moment. Sometimes it gets her into trouble – like the time she pranked that noble client of her mother's and had to leave Nicodranas – but other times it works out beautifully and far better than she could have ever imagined.

They're in the room she's sharing with Beau. Beau is sitting cross-legged on one side of the bed, allowing Nott to weave a large number of wildflowers into her hair. Caleb is on the other side with his back against Jester's bed and a book propped up on his knees. He wanted company, but didn't want the noise of the tavern below, a feeling Jester understands. Sometimes you just want to be alone with people.

Jester, pacing up and down along the foot of the bed, is on a mission. After weeks of watching Beau pine after Yasha, she has decided this is the day she’ll finally convince Beau to just tell her how she feels.

"Yeah but, how do you know you know you know?" asks Beau. "What if it's just a thing I'm feeling now? What if my feelings change? What if when I tell her, she laughs?"

"I really don't think Yasha is that kind of person," says Nott, gently. "At worst, I think she'll just give you a straight no."

"A ‘straight’ no would actually be the worst," Beau mutters.

"You should just ask if you could kiss her," Jester offers. "That's what I would do."

"And die of embarrassment? No thank you. Asking someone if you can kiss them is kind of a big deal, Jess. I'm sure there are steps before that."

"Oh my god, Beau, kissing is not a big deal, like at all." She's seen and done enough of it in her life to consider herself something of an expert. If Yasha feels the same way about Beau (as Jester suspects she does) it will probably be the most drama-free five minutes of her life.

What Beau needs is a demonstration, and as Jester's eyes lock on Caleb, completely absorbed in his book, her plan comes together in an instant.

"Watch this, Beau," she says, bending to tap Caleb on the shoulder as she does. "Caleb, can you help me show something to Beau quickly?"

"I – of course," he says, placing a sheet of parchment between the pages he was reading to mark his place before standing up. "What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to be Yasha," Jester explains. "I'll be Beau."

She imitates Beau's much deeper voice as she says it and can't help but be pleased at the way the corners of Caleb's mouth tug up in amusement.

"Alright Beau, here's what to do if Yasha says no when you ask her for a kiss," says Jester, taking a step closer to Caleb. He watches her as she approaches, his ocean-blue eyes apprehensive, but curious. "'Hi Yasha, you look very pretty today.'"

"'Thank you, Beau, that's very kind of you,’" Caleb replies in a softer version of his normal voice. "'I think you look pretty too.'"

"This is already bullshit," scoffs Beau. "She would not respond like that. And that's not how I sound, Jess."

Jester shushes her. "No talking during the demonstration. You'll take away from the accuracy."

The amusement on Caleb's face widens. She loves his sense of humour, so it always means a little bit more when Caleb finds her funny.

"'Say, Yasha, would it be alright if I kissed you now?'" she asks Caleb who does an amazing impression of Yasha being flustered.

"'Er, you're lovely, Beau, but I think not today. I hope you understand.'"

"'Of course, Yasha. Thanks anyway.'" She looks back at Beau, who's staring at the pair of them in mild disgust. "And then you just turn and walk off to do something else. Got it?"

"And if she agrees?" says Nott, who has paused her work on Beau's hair, seemingly enraptured by Jester and Caleb's performance.

"Well, then Beau would say 'Yasha, may I please kiss you?' to which Yasha would say..."

She looks at Caleb expectantly.

"’Er, sure?’"

Jester has to stifle a giggle. There really couldn't be anyone better to play the serious and awkward Yasha than Caleb.

"The rest is pretty straightforward from there," Jester explains, taking another step closer to Caleb so that there's hardly any space between them now. "You just get a bit nearer and just..."

She allows herself the briefest moment to admire the freckles across his nose that she's never been close enough to notice before and to give him a small wink before pressing their lips together.

She doesn't know what she was expecting kissing Caleb to feel like, probably mostly scratchy because of his slightly chapped lips and the scruff on his chin. She's not expecting the way her stomach suddenly swoops or how fast her heart is suddenly beating. She's not expecting to clutch on to the front of Caleb's coat so tightly, or for the hands that settle on her waist and neck.

She's certainly not expecting Caleb to kiss back with such gentleness and longing that it steals the air from her lungs.

She's sure she hears the door open and close, but forgets it almost immediately as Caleb deepens the kiss.

Jester has kissed people before, has been kissed before, but something about this is different. At first she thinks it's because they're just so in character, but then the hand on her neck is moving up to tangle in her hair and suddenly she's seeing the last year of her life in a completely different light. All of Caleb's little touches, the concern for her in his voice, the invitations to help him with his work – were the signs there this whole time?

She thinks about all her flirting with him; how she was sure at the time it was just because she liked seeing how pink he would turn, and she supposes that that's still true, but now she knows why and oh. Oh.

Apparently kissing, with the right person, is a huge deal.

When they break apart, hearts racing and eyes wide, she takes a moment to catch her breath before turning her head to look at Beau, but it seems she and Nott have left. The only evidence they were there before is the small array of wildflowers on the bed.

Swallowing whatever she was about to say to Beau, she turns back to Caleb who is staring at her completely stunned as he slides his hand down from her hair to softly cup the back of her neck.

Ten minutes ago, this was just her friend, Caleb, who looked out for her and whom she liked to play-flirt with sometimes.

Now, he was... he was...

"So, I personally think that went rather well, but apparently our audience didn't agree." Caleb is smiling wryly, trying to put his masks up again, but Jester can see the vulnerability and uncertainty there.

"Caleb," she manages to finally breathe out. Her hands are still clutching tightly to the lapels of his coat. "How... how long have you felt that way?"

"Since about a minute ago when I heard them leaving," Caleb replies, and though she normally adores his one-liners, this is something she doesn't want to miss in between the jokes.

"Caleb," she warns. "I'm being serious right now."

"Sorry, being a facetious bastard is an ugly force of habit," he says apologetically. "To tell the truth, it wasn't very long after I met you. Probably for certain when we went to Chastity's Nook and you left that surprise in one of the books."

"Oh yeah, that was fun," Jester laughs. She had always thought that if someone was going to fall in love with her, it would be when she was deliberately trying to impress them with her looks or how cultured she was. The idea that it had been one of her silly childish pranks that made Caleb fall for her made Jester feel light and giddy – as if, if it weren't for Caleb there anchoring her to the ground, she would be floating along the ceiling.

"I dare say it was more of a recent discovery for you?" He's looking at her so intently, with so much warmth and she drinks it in. She spent most of her childhood being shushed into rooms and out of sight; it's a thrill to know that Caleb isn't just looking at her. He's actually seeing her.

"I think I've probably felt it for a while," begins Jester, unable to stop the smile that's beginning to overtake her features, "but it was only just now that I realised what it actually was."

Caleb laughs and presses his forehead to Jester's.

"I didn't think it would ever actually happen, and certainly not like this."

"You don't regret it do you?" she asks in a small voice. Even though she's sure that Caleb's not lying about his feelings, her mother's story has taught her that people's feelings change, sometimes suddenly. What if Caleb had just gotten everything he wanted just as she's discovering everything she wants?

"My dear Jester, it would be completely impossible for me to regret this," he says as the hand around her waist reaches up to cover one of hers clutching his lapels. "You can be fully assured that I am feeling whatever the direct opposite of regret is right now."

"Me too," she admits. Smiling, she angles her head to kiss him again. She can't believe that that feeling of being wanted and needed has been within arm's reach for months now and she just wasn't paying attention. When they break apart, she starts giggling and can't stop, drunk off of the sudden rush of new emotions.

"Thank the gods for Beau's crush on Yasha, ja?" Caleb is laughing now too. He wraps his arms completely around Jester for a second before moving away to retrieve a flower from the bed which he then tucks behind her ear. It's sunny and yellow and looks how she feels inside at the gesture. "And thank the gods for a definitive answer at last: Tieflings do, indeed, blush."

"You're one to talk," she says, pressing the back of her hand to one of his burning cheeks. She takes another full look at that face, that face that was always handsome but is now somehow impossibly beautiful, and smiles. "Thank you, Caleb."

"Nothing to thank me for," he whispers, pressing a kiss to her forehead before pulling her into his arms and just holding her for the longest time.

There has never been a reward for living in the moment quite like this one.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 018: Please Don’t Cut His Dad in Half

Previously on BnHA: Ochako showed that punk Kumogiri what’s what. Iida managed to escape and get help. Bakugou and Kirishima hung out together for a few pages. Aizawa was basically fucking tortured, but somehow still saved Tsuyu’s life and I’m planning to name my firstborn child after him. Deku used One for All without dying. All Might finally showed up after seven years to kick some ass.

Today on BnHA: All Might storms in to save the day, but ends up in over his head. Or under his head. There is a whole suplex thing going on which is compounded by the usage of portals. It’s really fucking weird. Deku tries not to do anything stupid but then almost does something stupid. Kacchan, Todoroki, and Kirishima descend onto the scene looking way more badass than a trio of 15-year-olds has any right to be.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 27 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.) 

oh we have another one of these little side chapter things like what we got with the last volume change

actually, there’s not much here, but this little bit is worth a gander

MISMANAGING FIRE MEANS MISMANAGING LIVES!!!!

these quirks are fucking wild sometimes. did this guy’s hands really turn into water spouts back when he was four. or is that just part of his costume

I suppose if he can control water then he can just make water hands like that lady from The Legend of Korra. idk, I myself like having hands. my own human hands which I have just two of and no extras and which don’t disintegrate anything I fucking touch

Thirteen is such a little cutie, I want a plush of them

that’s about it so let’s move on now

NEW VOLUME COVER

Todoroki makes his cover debut! and surprisingly, so does Kirishima! I guess we’re gonna get some more hijinks with these two. excellent

(ETA: I actually felt like they got only minimal hijinks in the end, but it’s still nice to see them getting that cover recognition)

Facepalm also makes his cover debut. could have done without tbh

I see you in the top left corner there Bakugou

YOU AND I NEED TO HAVE WORDS SOMETIME, CALEB COOK. AND YOU, MIKE MONTESA

looooool what the sunshiney hell is this

I note that this volume is called All Might! that sounds promising

this thing Deku’s riding in is wearing enormous fucking shoes for absolutely no goddamn reason

some sort of steampunk medieval chicken in doc martens

“this is no time to be drawing mixed-up junk like this!” I just. I don’t even know

IT’S A GIANT CHARACTER GUIDE. I OUGHTA PRINT THIS OUT AND PUT IT IN MY POCKET

look at all these fucking hands

Iida getting dangerously close to Nazi salute territory there. just... be careful, Iida

no fucking thank you, table of contents. keep your spoilers to yourself!

finally the actual chapter!

ALL MIGHT DIDN’T EVEN COME BECAUSE OF IIDA? HE WAS ALREADY ON HIS WAY BECAUSE HIS HERO INSTINCTS TOLD HIM HIS SON WAS ABOUT TO BE CRUSHED BY SOME MUSCLE LORD WITH NO SKULL

THEN HE RAN INTO IIDA ON THE WAY!!

IIDA YOUR HANDS ARE A TREASURE

LORD ALL MIGHT MUST HAVE FREAKED THE FUCK OUT

(ETA: I don’t feel like my initial reaction conveyed just how much I loved this part. what I love about All Might -- one of the many things I love about him -- is his empathy. he genuinely cares so much, not only about everyone’s safety, but also about their well-being. like, he doesn’t just want to keep people safe; he also wants them to feel safe, and he goes above and beyond to reassure them that everything will be okay. he doesn’t just go out there and save people, he also inspires courage and strength in others.

and he’s so upset here when he hears about everything that happened. but even now, he barely shows it on the surface (Deku is the only one who notices he’s not smiling), because he knows it’s not what the kids need. and if you look at how everyone reacts, at how the kids’ fears are immediately put to ease and they all feel like the day has been saved -- it all just goes to show that it works.)

ALL MIGHT I’M SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU BUT ALSO SO, SO GLAD TO SEE YOU

“my colleagues did their best” somehow that sounds strangely patronizing which I don’t necessarily appreciate, given all the shit that Aizawa in particular has been through today. THEY FUCKING DISINTEGRATED HIS ARM, ALL MIGHT. HIS FUCKING ARM. AND THEN CRUMPLED IT LIKE TINFOIL

oh shit I just noticed that

“I’ve been waiting, hero. you’re worthless trash.” whoa now. do you want to die fast or slow, son?

everyone please look at the way All Might is skipping down these motherfucking stairs

and apparently this is striking fear into the hearts of these men

actually he seems to have trampled like six people on his way down the stairs, so maybe their fear was justified

and now he’s checking Aizawa

:|!!

my god Aizawa is soooo tiny compared to AM in his full-blown superhero form

(ETA: okay so when I watched the anime version of this I noticed that All Might calls him “Aizawa-kun”, and I don’t know why but that just wrecked me even more. it makes me wonder how well they actually know each other? or if All Might might possibly be older than him?)

(actually, how old is All Might, anyway? his muscle form is pretty hard to judge, and his Skinny Steve self doesn’t seem that old, but if Aizawa is 30 and Might is referring to him as -kun, then he’s at least the same age and most likely older. I’m guessing mid-thirties, but that may just be because I want to date him)

he just kinda plops him onto his shoulder and turns to face the remaining bad guys

OHHHH DAMN

BETWEEN THIS AND HIS LACK OF SMILE AND THE WAY HE JUST RIPPPPPPPED OFF HIS TIE EARLIER, I HAVE TO CONFESS THAT ALL MIGHT IS DOING THINGS TO ME IN THIS CHAPTER, YOU GUYS

OH SNAP I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA TEAR THE VILLAINS A NEW ONE, BUT INSTEAD HE SCOOPED UP ALL OF THE CHILDREN AND IS CARRYING THEM TO SAFETY

HE’S TELLING THEM TO GO TO THE ENTRANCE AND GET AIZAWA SOME MEDICAL HELP

HE’S SO COOL. HE’S SO FUCKING COOL, YOU GUYS. I WOULD FEEL SO SAFE WITH HIM OH MY GOD

BUT HE DOESN’T KNOW YET THE EXTENT TO WHICH THESE GUYS HAVE PLANNED THIS WHOLE THING SPECIFICALLY TO GET TO HIM

whaaaat... the fuck...

Facepalm’s hands appear to be talking to him?????

“father...” WHAT. EWW. WHAT

“state-sponsored violence” motherfucker are you serious right now, you were about to murder two dozen innocent children and now you’re gonna go off on All Might about him being some kind of government-owned thug? don’t you dare disrespect MY symbol of peace

“you’re fast... but not as fast as expected” oh fucking shit

this is still creepy, don’t get me wrong. but after a few chapters of him doing it once every fifteen pages, I think I’m starting to get used to it

now Deku is frantically trying to explain to All Might just how dangerous these guys are

“One for -- I MEAN, MY ATTACK” jesus Deku. I guess he can be forgiven considering how stressful the circumstances are

All Might keeps saying “fear not”, but the more he says it the more I start to worry that maybe we should be fearing :/

Carolina... well, okay, I’ll count that one as a coastal state (technically two states). still the south, but at least we’ve got ocean!

this smash is very cool-looking but sadly not very effective

“seriously?” lol AM being so shocked and exasperated is more humorous than it rightly ought to be

Facepalm says that Noumu has shock absorption abilities. “if you really want to damage him you’d be better off slowly ripping him apart piece by piece.” hoh-lee shit. what a thing to say

and of course we all know All Might is totally the type of guy to just go ripping people apart limb from limb whenever the occasion calls for it. that’s why he’s known as the Symbol of Ripping People Apart Limb from Limb

-- wow dude I was being sarcastic. you think you know a guy

now he’s slamming him into the ground. how is that going to do anything against a guy whose powers were just established as being shock absorptive, All Might

I do not like the way Deku is carrying Aizawa here at ALL

his arms are fucked up, Deku. please be more gentle!! you of all people should know a thing or two about fucked up arms by now!

they keep glancing back at All Might. we’re all worried about All Might, kids

I’m glad Deku seems to understand that they’d just get in his way if they went back and got taken hostage again, though

but unlike his classmates, he knows that All Might is close to reaching his limit

goddamn it, now they’re flashing back to All Might’s line in the first chapter about smiling to stave off the fear

well. I did ask the universe for All Might angst, now didn’t I

he is not looking too hot

son of a fuck now Kurogiri has gotten involved in the mix once again

this... this is it. officially the weirdest image ever put to paper

I can’t stop staring at it

I can’t believe events in BnHA transpired in exactly the right way to make this image a reality

it’s like those fucking paradox stairs in Inception

fucking amazing

oh SHIT I just realized Noumu’s grip around All Might’s torso is dangerously close to where All Might’s secret wound is

oh my godddd

ugh he’s just enduring it and thinking “cut it out”

both he and Aizawa are just SO FUCKING STOIC in the face of what has to be unimaginable pain and I just can’t!!

Kurogiri says he’s going to close his warp gate on All Might while he’s still halfway through and cut him in half?!

that was their plan? seriously?

why the fuck are they explaining it

fuck, it finally got to be too much for Deku

he’s turning back

DON’T CUT MY DAD IN HALF

aaaaaaaand here comes the feels train!!

I think what got me this time, even more than all the usual stuff (crying Deku/running to save All Might/being afraid of losing him/not having a plan but not caring/doing something stupid and brave out of love), is the fact that there were so many panels prior to this where Deku was repeatedly trying to convince himself that he couldn’t go back, that it would be stupid and dangerous, and that he had to trust All Might. the fact that his mind knew what the “correct” decision was, and he was doing his best to try and follow that, but in the end he just couldn’t go against what his heart was screaming at him to do instead

in fact, if I may, I’d just like to point out the parallels between this scene and the All Might scene a few chapters ago, when he was on his way to work but kept running into people who needed help. and even though he knew there were others who could take care of it, and that it would only make him late and wear him out and use up his already-limited Allotted Daily Hero Time, he fucking helped them anyway, because HIS heart wouldn’t allow him to do otherwise

basically what I’m saying is that they are two of a kind and too goddamn pure and precious for this good earth

-- HAHAHAHAHAHA

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS

HAHAHHAHAHAH

YOU GUYS. I DIDN’T SAY A SINGLE THING THIS WHOLE TIME, BECAUSE I SO BADLY WANTED SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO HAPPEN, BUT I DIDN’T WANT TO JINX IT, OR RISK SOUNDING STUPID, BECAUSE I KEEP BRINGING BAKUGOU INTO THESE THINGS EVEN WHEN HE’S NOT REMOTELY INVOLVED, BECAUSE I HAVE A BIT OF A FIXATION WITH HIM, YOU MIGHT HAVE NOTICED!! BUT DON’T THINK FOR A SECOND THAT I’D FORGOTTEN ABOUT HIM WANTING TO GO AFTER THE VILLAINS, AND ANNOUNCING THIS IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER, AND THE FACT THAT HE’D BEEN ABSENT FOR A LITTLE WHILE AFTERWARDS! AND THEN, JUST NOW, THE FACT THAT DEKU WAS ABOUT TO BE TOTALLY SCREWED IF SOMEONE DIDN’T JUMP IN TO SAVE HIM AT THE LAST SECOND. AND WITH AIZAWA AND THIRTEEN INCAPACITATED, AND THE OTHER KIDS HEEDING ALL MIGHT’S ORDERS AND GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF THERE, PRETTY MUCH THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD DO SOMETHING AT THIS MOMENT WAS BAKUGOU

WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY IS THAT I SHOULD BE SURPRISED AND DELIGHTED, BUT IF I’M COMPLETELY FUCKING HONEST I’M NOT SURPRISED AT ALL SOMEHOW, BUT YOU’D BETTER BELIEVE I AM FUCKING DELIGHTED AS HELL

JUST. :D :D :D!!!!!!!!!

YES I DID ORDER FEELS ON THE SIDE!! THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH!!!!

somehow this just seems so very awkward

I’m sure that when I reread this later, or watch it in the anime, I will have some idea of what the hell is actually going on. but for now, Kiri’s here as well, and one or both of them is doing something to Noumu, and that’s just swell

oHHHHHHHHH. the reason I didn’t understand it is because there’s a third young chap who’s also just appeared in the nick of time who I didn’t realize was there at first!

Kacchan looks like he’s having the time of his fucking life. this kid was born to bust villain chops

Kirishima still looks SO DAMN MUCH like Mikoshiba Momotaro to me. they’re both so cute too

Todo looks like Zuko and Hibari’s lovechild as always

Kacchan! you other two people!!

well then, villains. how do y’all feel about taking on a few more high schoolers? fair warning that these ones are just slightly less intimidated by you than the last group

gotta say, this is a much better chapter to go to bed on than the one I fucking read 24 hours ago (16), goddamn

and I did write “Kacchan saves Deku” on my wishlist a few chapters back, but this is less angsty than I had envisioned, and is in fact really hype and badass. I guess that’s just the way Kacchan likes to do things. can’t say I’m really all that put out

BONUS:

“someone who could bring the different members of the class together and bridge gaps” sooo... what you’re saying is... Yamamoto. he’s Yamamoto

no wonder people ship him with the closest thing to Gokudera this series has so far

I didn’t even notice he had a scar over his right eye. and of COURSE it comes with a long and detailed history

I really like the story, though. I honestly wonder how more of these kids didn’t accidentally maim themselves when their quirks first manifested. I still think about Thirteen’s quirk, and to be honest that shit is terrifying

those are some sneakers. looks like that auto-lace shit from Back to the Future

[totaltozier]

Third Times the Charm - Finn x Reader

PLOT: Two times you almost kiss and the one time you finally do.

NOTE: This is basically just fluff I guess but it’s cute though.

WORD COUNT: 1332

The first time you had almost kissed it was during the filming for season two.

Finn had knocked on your bedroom door before letting himself in. “Do you wanna help me run lines?” He had asked.

“Yeah sure,” You answered. “What scene?” You grabbed your script from the table beside your bed and stood up meeting Finn in the middle of your room.

“Um, the scene with Millie before she leaves to close the gate. I need to get the emotion right.” He explained.

“For sure.” You both looked down to your scripts.

Finn cleared his throat before starting. “Just be careful okay? I can’t lose you again.” He read.

“You won’t lose me.” You were standing less than a foot in front of each other.

“Do you promise?” Finn was staring in your eyes. You could see the hurt behind them, Mike pining for Eleven’s safety. You were just running lines and he was already so deep. God, he’s such a good actor.

“Promise.” You said. The script directed that this is when Eleven and Mike would potentially kiss. Looking at Finn you both started to lean in, lips almost touching. But Finn pulled away at the last moment.

“Um, that’s when Hopper interrupts, I believe.” He stated, blushing slightly.

You looked down at the script, seeing that Hopper had the next line. “Oh yeah. He takes Eleven away.” You sighed.

“How was that?” Finn asked, “Did it sound sincere?”

You swallowed, still caught up in your head. “Yeah. It really did.”

“Okay, thanks!” Finn said before disappearing out of your room.

The second time was about a year later at Caleb’s sixteenth birthday.

Everyone was at Caleb’s house. It was a surprisingly warm October night. You and Finn were sitting outside by the once large bonfire that had died down to a small flame. The other’s had already tapped out for the night, now somewhere in the house presumably sound asleep.

“Is there any more wood?” You asked. “I’m starting to get chilly.”

Finn looked around at the ground below him. “I don’t think so. Um, just come sit with me” he suggested. He was sat on a bench big enough for at least two people and he had a blanket on his lap.

You got up from your spot and moved over to beside Finn. He lifted the blanket up for you to climb under and you pulled your feet up on the bench making sure they were warm too. “Thanks,” you smiled. “I’m not tired enough for bed yet.”

“Me neither” Finn admitted.

It was quiet outside. The only sounds were the fire crackling and the trees gently rustling in the late-night breeze. You tilted your head up, looking to the stars and sighing slightly.

“Do you ever wonder what’s out there?” You asked in a small voice.

Finn looked up to the sky too. “Y/N, we’re basically on a show about what’s out there” he joked.

You weren’t looking at Finn but you rolled your eyes anyways. “I mean for real, is there another planet with another version of us living there?” You wondered.

“Like still you and me but a different experience?” Finn questioned.

“Yeah,” you sighed. “Like maybe still Finn and Y/N but we were never on TV, just kids that live in a small town together.”

“Or Y/N and Finn who live in Europe and have funny accents” Finn added.

“Maybe we’d have purple hair and blue eyebrows” you suggested.

“It doesn’t matter what version we are as long as we’re still existing together.” Finn stated.

You looked down from the sky and over to Finn who was already looking at you with caring eyes. You were lost in his brown eyes, swimming in the possibility of another universe but knowing that you could be floating stardust for all you cared as long as Finn was floating stardust too.

You blinked as you realised that you had been staring for a little too long but Finn was still staring back.

“Y/N…” He whispered, your faces only inches apart.

“Finn…” You mumbled back, barely loud enough to hear.

You could see Finn’s eyes float between yours and your mouth before moving closer to yours. Your eyes fluttered closed and you could practically feel Finn’s breath hitting yours.

The backdoor flew open startling you and Finn both, pulling away just before your lips could meet.

“You guys have to come see this!” It was Caleb at the door a huge smile on his face.

“See what?” Finn groaned, upset that the moment had been ruined.

“Gaten has like fifteen marshmallows in his mouth and he can still say chubby bunny!” Caleb explained. Apparently, no one inside was asleep like you had thought.

You looked at Finn and you both sighed before picking up the blanket and heading inside behind Caleb to witness the chubby bunny madness.

The third time when you actually kissed was just after you had your first heartbreak.

You were in your room alone hiding underneath the covers softly crying while listening to music that would ultimately only make you feel worse. You had been dating a boy named Jackson from back home after reconnecting while you were off between filming shows. Things were going well until you had to move away again to start filming Stranger Things. He couldn’t handle the distance and claimed that you loved Finn more than you ever liked him.

Sure, that may have been somewhat true, but Finn was your best friend. You two had shared moments before but nothing ever happened afterwards and things probably wouldn’t happen anytime in the future either.

Your music was playing so loud you couldn’t hear the knocking at your door or Finn walking into your room.

“Y/N?” Finn spoke over the music.

Startled by his presence you sat up in bed and looked over at him.

“Are you crying?” He asked, noticing your red cheeks.

Embarrassed, you quickly wiped your tears away and paused the music that was playing so you could properly hear him. “No, I was just… I- No?” You stumbled spitting out nonsense.

Finn sat down on the edge of your bed. “Y/N what’s wrong?”

You took a deep breath and let it out before speaking. “Jackson dumped me.”

Finn furrowed his eyebrows, a frown forming across his face. “Why would he do that?” He asked.

You looked down at your hands instead of Finn. “Something about distance and me loving you more than I ever liked him” you explained. It sounded so stupid you felt guilty for even crying.

There was silence for a moment before Finn spoke up. “Is it true?” He said staring at you with hopeful eyes?

You sniffed and wiped away a stray tear. “Is what true?”

“That you love me more than you like him?” Finn said without skipping a beat.

“Yeah it is but look, Finn, I’m not going to embarrass myself anymore so you can just go now since I know you don’t like me that way.” You mumbled looking away.

“What are you talking about?” Finn asked. “Why wouldn’t I like you that way? You’re my best friend and you’re so kind, and caring, and beautiful, and you’re my favourite person.” He added. “In my opinion, Jackson is an idiot for even letting you go because there’s no one else out there who’s even a fraction as amazing as you are Y/N.” Finn explained.

His words made you smile and the tears had finally stopped. “So what are you saying?” You asked.

“I’m saying that I love you too, Y/N. And I have for a long time.” Finn admitted.

You climbed out from under your covers and stood in front of Finn before pulling him up to standing.

“I love you too” you whispered as you leaned in, finally placing your lips on Finn’s. The kiss was simple but with enough passion to make you smile, something you had been wanting to do for a long time too.

[whovian223]

It’s week 3 of our weekly look through the Boardgame Geek Top 100 to see what games I’ve played and which ones I may be interested in playing.

Last week I got educated about Dominion, maybe even enough to try it again some day.

What will this week bring?

Maybe a treatise on train games?

You got that in you, Dave? (let’s see if he reads this…)

I picture Dave like this.

Let’s see if he even sees this…if so, I’m sorry.

Anyway, this week there are a lot more that I’ve played, and some good stuff in here.

And some…well, not so good stuff. At least for me.

So let’s get started!

#80 – Roll for the Galaxy (Rio Grande Games) – 2014

Designers: Wei-Hwa Huang, Thomas Lehmann

Artists: Martin Hoffmann, Claus Stephan, Mirko Suzuki

Roll for the Galaxy is the dice version of Lehmann’s Roll for the Galaxy, but it is so much more than that.

No screenshots of the app yet, so have to make do with boring pictures of the tabletop game

Each player will get a set number and type of dice depending on their starting world development that they choose at the beginning of the game. These dice will then be rolled and secretly used to activate actions.

You get points based on the points on the tiles that you build, whether they are developments or worlds that you colonize (just like the card game) but you have to assign dice to these tiles on your player sheet. Each tile takes the number of dice equal to the point value to put them into your tableau. If you don’t build it in one shot, those dice are trapped until you do.

When you assign your dice, you have to choose one action to activate (Explore, Develop, Settle, Produce and Ship). You can use any die to activate an action, but all subsequent dice assigned to that action have to actually have that action’s symbol (there are ways around that, of course).

If somebody else chose an action that you have dice for, you get to use those dice as well, but if nobody did, they go back into your cup.

I really like this game a lot, and it’s a shame that I haven’t played it since 2017. It just hasn’t come out to the table since then and the one guy who owns it hasn’t been to our game day in quite a while.

I have played some games on Boardgame Arena, though, which is nice.

Here’s hoping I do get it to the table again soon!

#79 – Russian Railroads (Z-Man Games) – 2013

Designers: Helmut Ohley, Leonhard “Lonny” Orgler

Artists: Martin Hoffmann, Claus Stephan

Two entries in a row with Hoffmann & Stephan art!

Russian Railroads is a game that breaks my brain, though part of that is because I tried to figure it out on Boardgame Arena a few times.

It never really made that much sense to me, but I think I have an inkling of what’s going on in the game.

I’m just terrible at optimizing actions.

Needless to say, I’ve never played it on the table, though it has shown up at a couple of game days in the last year or so.

There’s just been something else I wanted to play instead.

Essentially you’re trying to build the best railway network in Russia (I assume, based on the name).

From BGG:

“The development of simple tracks will quickly bring the players to important places, while the modernization of their railway network will improve the efficiency of their machinery. Newer locomotives cover greater distances and factories churn out improved technology. Engineers, when used effectively, can be the extra boost that an empire needs to race past the competition.”

There are three tracks that you’re trying to extend, but you’re also trying to make them good tracks, as well as doing other things. There are multiple paths to victory (so they say) and like most games where that’s the case, I always found myself doing a little of everything and thus falling way behind.

I wouldn’t mind trying this once just to see if I can wrap my head around it when I can physically manipulate the pieces.

However, it’s not that urgent.

If I never get the chance to play it, I won’t be that heart-broken.

Fans of the game, tell me why I should play this as soon as possible.

And then maybe I’ll do it.

#78 – Codenames (Czech Games Edition) – 2015

Designer: Vlaada Chvátil

Artists: Stéphane Gantiez, Tomáš Kučerovský, Filip Murmak

I’m not big into party games for some reason. Maybe I’m just an anti-fun guy, I don’t know.

Codenames is a party game in that there are two teams of multiple players and they’re both trying to make contact with their agents by using the clues that the clue-giver on the team says to try and identify the words on the table that match their agents.

A number of cards with words are laid out in a 5×5 grid. The clue-givers on each team have a layout of which cards are their agents and which ones aren’t. They give one-word clues and say how many of the cards they are referencing with that clue.

The other players have to then try to guess, but if they choose one of the opposing team’s agents, they their turn ends and that helps the other team because they have fewer agents to identify. If they choose an innocent bystander, their turn just ends.

If they choose their own, then they can keep guessing. If either team accidentally chooses the assassin, they lose.

The starting team has 9 agents to identify while the other team has 8.

Whoever identifies all of their agents first wins!

Codenames is a fun little game but it’s not something that really grabbed me that hard. I’m not that great at deduction games and I am a terrible clue-giver in this one. I haven’t played it since 2016 (back when I was less diligent taking pictures, as I couldn’t find one!) and I have no aching desire to do so either.

Of course, it’s moved on now with multiple variations of the same thing (Marvel, Disney, etc), including a 2-player cooperative game!

So many Codenames, so little time.

#77 – Architects of the West Kingdom (Renegade Games Studios/Garphill Games) – 2018

Designers: Shem Phillips, S J Macdonald

Artist: Mihajlo Dimitrievski

On the other hand, how about one of my Top 10 games played of all time?

Yeah, that would be Architects of the West Kingdom, a game that I’ve reviewed here (and people really seem to gravitate towards it as it now has my second-highest view count on this blog)

Blue didn’t build much, I see…

Go check out the review if you want to know how to play, but why do I like it so much?

I love the “place workers to get resources and the more workers you have there, the more you get but somebody might come and capture all of them to weaken you again” mechanic (say that 3 times fast!). I love the apprentices and how they work to make your actions even better, or at least help you build more buildings.

I love the Black Market and how Virtue can get you points but also can affect whether you can either build in the Church or visit the Black Market (though come on, in reality if you are too virtuous to visit the Black Market you would find a way to get somebody to go for you).

Everything just goes together so well and it’s a blast to play. And it doesn’t even take that long either.

The University adornment gets you a new building card and 2 more points! The Smithy adornment gets you three stone immediately and also 2 more points.

I only have one play of the game with the Age of the Artisans expansion, but I think it will make this game go up even higher in my esteem (if that’s possible).

After you’re done reading this review, go try a game of this however you can. See if you think I’m right.

Because I am.

#76 –Marvel Champions: the Card Game (Fantasy Flight Games) – 2019

Designers: Michael Boggs, Nate French, Caleb Grace

Artists: N/A

I first (and only) played this game at OrcaCon in January and while it ain’t no Marvel Legendary it is kind of fun in its own right.

It’s a totally cooperative game where you all play a Marvel hero (I believe there are 4 in the basic box?) that will be teaming up with other heroes to defeat the nasty villains and their schemes.

The base box comes with Captain Marvel, Black Panther, Spider-Man, and Iron Man but you can buy multiple expansion packs with new cards, new heroes, new villains, and stuff like that.

It was a fun game and I liked how it scales based on the number of players (basically each player draws a card from the villain deck at the end of their turn and has to face what happens, so fewer players means that fewer cards come out.

I just have a thing about Living Card Games (LCGs). I don’t want to be constantly buying new stuff, even though I do like that you know what the new stuff will be rather than buying random Magic: the Gathering packs.

The Marvel Champions packs seem to just add new scenarios and heroes and stuff. I don’t think they add cards for the original heroes (though maybe they do? Somebody please tell me).

The other LCGs that I took a look at, namely Arkham Horror: the Card Game, while you can play with the suggested decks it also has deck customization options as well. I don’t want to construct a deck before each scenario/story and that along with having to buy more and more stuff to get the varied content has just turned me off to the whole concept.

However, as a standalone experience, Marvel Champions was a fun game to play and I wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to play it again.

LCGs just don’t really appeal to me in general as far as playing multiple times.

Somebody tell me what I’m missing.

#75 – Aeon’s End (Indie Boards & Cards) – 2016

Designer: Kevin Riley

Artists: Gong Studios, Stephanie Gustafsson, Scott Hartman, Daniel Solis

Aeon’s End is a cooperative card game where you are trying to defend a town from ancient evil (or maybe just evil in general).

You will choose a Nemesis which will come with its own card deck and then up to 4 players.

There are a couple of interesting-sounding twists to this.

First, there is no shuffling. When you discard your hand, you choose the order it goes in. When you are out of cards, you just flip your discard pile over and start playing again. So you know exactly what cards are coming and when.

Secondly, who acts first, second, etc, is completely randomized. The bad guys could go twice in a row, or maybe it will end up being in order.

Who knows?

From the app, since I haven’t played this before

I have only played the Steam version of Aeon’s End and I know I’m having a devil of a time trying to figure out how to play this and win. I know the basic rules (or can pick them up again, as I haven’t played in a while), but I get my ass kicked every time I play.

It’s starting to hurt.

I wouldn’t mind trying this on the table once, especially with somebody who’s played it before and can coach me.

Because otherwise, there’s no way to win.

When a village sees me coming to protect it, they start setting up their wills and everything because they know they’re going to die.

#74 – Patchwork (Lookout Games) – 2014

Designer: Uwe Rosenberg

Artist: Klemens Franz

Patchwork is a 2-player tile-laying game where you are trying to fill a grid (quilt) with a bunch of different misshapen pieces of cardboard (fabric). You are collecting buttons that will then enable you to take one of up to three pieces that are available to you (depending on how many buttons they cost).

At the end of the game, your points will be the number of buttons you have minus points for any missing squares on your grid.

I have to say that tile-laying “Tetris-shaped pieces” games don’t really do a lot for me.

When I first (and only time) played it on the table back in March 2016, I didn’t really care for it that much.

I don’t like spatial puzzles and this was the ultimate in spatial puzzles.

Then I played the app.

Wow, man, I fell in love with it.

Sure, I still suck at it and probably will never win a game.

But I decided that it didn’t matter. I really really like it.

So much so that I have finally bought a copy (when 401 Games is able to get it to me).

I’ll be able to let you know more a little later whether the game on the table holds up or not.

I’m really looking forward to it, actually.

#73 – Agricola – Revised Edition (Lookout Games) – 2016

Designer: Uwe Rosenberg

Artist: Klemens Franz

It’s a Lookout Games/Uwe Rosenberg/Klemens Franz twofer!!!!!

Yes, we have another Uwe game with Klemens art but they couldn’t be any more different.

Agricola is the first of Uwe’s many “place workers (family members) somewhere to get something, and then don’t forget to feed them at the end or bad things will happen” games (For some reason I have trouble shortening these descriptions).

In it, you’re running a family farm, trying to build up your farmhouse, raise many sorts of animals and plant your crops.

Each round an additional space opens up for you to place your worker, where you can get resources, food, animals or crops to then sow in your plowed fields.

At the end of a certain number of rounds, you have to have enough food to feed all of your family members.

Don’t worry, nobody dies. You just have to beg for food (and lose points).

Might be more fun if somebody did die.

It would be an Ameritrash game then!

I have never played this game on the table, but I have played the app of the original version (this revised edition came out in 2016).

I’m honestly not really sure what the Revised Edition does.

I really don’t enjoy this game that much. The idea of feeding your family is ok (and has been done in many games since) but it’s a very punishing game.

I have never been able to figure this one out. I have played its sister game, Caverna, and it’s much more pleasurable to me (though I still haven’t played it in a long time). Caverna isn’t quite as punishing with the feeding mechanism and that makes me feel less trapped.

I’ve played this on the app recently and unfortunately it still doesn’t agree with me.

Sorry to you fans.

#72 – Troyes (Pearl Games) – 2010

Designer: Sébastien Dujardin, Xavier Georges, Alain Orban

Artists: Sébastien Dujardin, Xavier Georges, Alain Orban, Alexandre Roche

I played this game once on the table but have played many games on Boardgame Arena since then.

This is a dice rolling and drafting (kind of) game where you are managing your own section of the population of this famous city (pronounced “Twah” for those uninitiated). This population is in the form of dice depending on what regions you have your people stationed: Religious, Civil or Military.

You roll your dice and then the first thing everybody has to do is beat off invasions using some of their dice.

Remaining dice are then used to do various actions around the city (or out in the countryside where you may use them to cancel bad stuff that’s sitting out there). You can even buy your opponents’ dice because you need more and you don’t want them to have them.

That can be a mean thing.

It’s a game I enjoy but don’t love, and I haven’t had much of an urge to get it to the table again (not that I could without buying it, as I don’t think anybody I know has it anymore).

It’s fun enough, though, and I’m always willing to play an asynchronous game on BGA, but it’s not something I’m burning to play again any time soon.

I do like the dice drafting mechanics and how you can place your workers in a bunch of different areas to make actions more efficient (as well as possibly get points for them at the end of the game).

I really like how you can buy other players’ dice too.

Overall, I think it’s worthy of its spot in the Top 100 even if it wouldn’t be in mine (well, maybe it would since I’ve only played something like 350 games, but you know what I mean).

#71 – Battlestar Galactica: the Board Game (Fantasy Flight Games) – 2008

Designer: Corey Konieczka

Artists: Kevin Childress, Andrew Navaro, Brian Schomburg, WiL Springer

And now we come to almost the ultimate hidden traitor game, a game that sounds so cool that I really want to play it.

Sadly, I never have.

And it’s not for lack of opportunity, because I have seen it being set up at conventions and stuff.

It just intimidates the crap out of me, partially because of the deduction aspect and partially because it can take 2-3 hours to play. Every time I’ve had the opportunity, something has just told me “no, you need to leave yourself open to other stuff” and I back away slowly.

Maybe I’m a Cylon in disguise and I just don’t know it?

It’s a semi-cooperative game because you are trying to get the Humans to safety, but some of you (at least one, I think, and perhaps more than one?) are Cylons hidden for years without even knowing about it, programmed to doom humanity.

Do you hide the fact that you’re a Cylon or do you just go balls to the wall and try to kill everybody?

Those sound like exciting decisions.

If I ever get back to a con and I see this being set up (or if it’s a scheduled game), I need to sit down and play it.

Scratch that itch, fulfill that dream, kill that human get the humans to Earth.

Crap, that was supposed to be a “delete,” not “strikethrough”

I have revealed myself.

Run for your lives!!!!

So we’ve reached the end of another week. I’ve played 6 this week with one on Boardgame Arena and one on Steam (also an iOS app if you don’t count the Revised Edition). Not too bad.

That makes 13 that I’ve played “officially” (on the table) out of the bottom 30. Almost 50%

Will that go up or down next week?

I guess you’ll have to tune in and find out.

What do you think of these games? Love them? Hate them? Good enough for Cylons but not you?

Is there something I really need to play in there?

Let me know in the comments.

Posts in this Series:

#100-91 #90-81 #80-71

Boardgame Geek Top 100 - Played or Play? 80-71 #boardgames @riograndegames @Zmangames_ @FFGames @czechgames @PlayRenegade @garphillgames @IBCGames It's week 3 of our weekly look through the Boardgame Geek Top 100 to see what games I've played and which ones I may be interested in playing.

[niuxita21]

It’s way too late to change the wording of this post into something more wistful but I really wanted to wait to post this until PLL ended because it just carried more weight that way.

Anyway, this is why all the disdain for PLL pisses me off. I started rewatching Lost recently (the product of having nothing to occupy my evenings with), which, for all its entertainment value, it’s a show where women are, at best, bit players and, at worst, token characters (I mean, there’s Claire being reduced to a crying mess because people were gonna take her baybeeeee and Charlie going on and on about having to “protect her” as if she wasn’t capable of doing it her own damn self; there’s Sun, who spent like half the first season incommunicated; there’s Shannon being nothing more than the typical vapid blonde who was only given depth via a romantic relationship because of course; and then there’s Kate, an all-around solid, intriguing character constantly ruined by Jack telling her what to do and her LISTENING and APOLOGIZING when she doesn’t as if she owes him anything). I mean, they eventually added more women, but the men were always the ones invariably taking charge and calling the shots, so it doesn’t really count.

And here’s the thing. For years I’ve been saying Pretty Little Liars was my new Lost because of the suspense/intricate-plot-that-spiraled-out-of-control-and-probably-won’t-achieve-a-satisfying-ending aspect, but it didn’t hit me just HOW much it is so similar to what a female-centric version of Lost would look like until just now.

Like, when you watch Lost, you see Jack, Sawyer, Sayid, and Locke discussing how they’re gonna proceed with something or dealing with people trying to kill them, and randomly traipsing through the jungle in planned excursions for a variety of reasons, while Jack tells Kate that she can’t come with them because it’s too dangerous, or switches out the dynamite so she won’t have to carry it even though she drew a short straw, and Claire does nothing but cry about her baby and beg Charlie to go bring him back (because the automatic assumption is that she can’t go bring him back herself, duh, and the only reason why that assumption would be made is because she’s a woman), and Sun has to play the weeping wife role as she sees Jin sail off on the raft (because, again, the automatic assumption is that Jin would be in it and not her, again, only because she’s a woman). To me, the message that this sends is that women not being active participants in survival situations is the norm, that men being the ones to take care of everything and “protect them” is the norm, that women couldn’t possibly handle things like a hunting party to go bring Michael back from the Others, I guess because they’re too fragile for guns or something.

And then you watch Pretty Little Liars, and, on a regular basis, you have 4/5/6 girls (depending on the situation and also the season) conspiring together to take down the ubiquitous being who has been tormenting them since day one (their version of the Others or the Black Smoke, if you will); constantly shutting out the men in their lives because being involved in what they’re doing is too dangerous and they don’t want to risk their fragile male lives; regularly going on “excursions” in the woods all by themselves with no male protection whatsoever, sometimes in the middle of the night and sometimes with pink backpacks because why the hell not; routinely having to dispose of murder weapons and counting only on each other to make sure the job gets done right; on more than one occasion burying or exhuming bodies, in one case the body of the man they ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED, and once again, this only involves the 4/5/6 female protagonists with no male assistance whatsoever (I mean OK, sometimes Caleb plays the Kate role in terms of being the only male character to ever be allowed to be of some use to them because of his computer skills, but even that still fits the parallel perfectly).

So when I see this, I can’t help but think that, within the universe of this show, it is the norm for girls (and they were teenage girls when the series started) being involved in the pretty high-intensity situations these characters are involved in. That it is perfectly acceptable for girls to take charge of what happens to them, to not trust anyone but each other, to shut everybody else out. That it is perfectly normal for them to have to deal with situations such as covering up murders and blackmail with no one ever questioning why they don’t just leave it to the men in their lives to take care of it. Because why the hell shouldn’t it be normal for women to do these things? Why the hell shouldn’t it be the norm for them to take charge like this? 

So like BOO-FUCKING-HOO, so fucking what if A.D. didn’t make any sense***, if Marlene never had any idea what the hell she was doing or where anything was going plot-wise, etc. Like, WHO GIVES A FUCK. We got SEVEN SEASONS of girls and women taking charge and having agency like very very few female characters get to have on TV and without ever having to operate under the control of a male character and that is just SO FUCKING IMPORTANT. And rare. So so so rare. And probably won’t happen again for another ten years, if that.

So show some damn respect.

***Actually, much like with Lost, I thought they went for probably the best resolution at their disposal given the circumstances and the corners they’d written themselves in. Hats off.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #85

“so you can throw me to the wolves; tomorrow i will come back, leader of the whole pack.”

when was the last time you saw the person you like?   february what are you listening to?   markiplier playing "scp containment breach."  going on a nostalgia binge. would you take back your last boyfriend/girlfriend?   nope.  tyler wasn't for me. are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you?   rape and abortion. have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend?   no. would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn?   i'd be fucking pissed.  not out of jealousy, but because it's lustful and just generally disgusting. your last ex calls wanting to hangout, what do you say?   probably "stop fucking harassing me." do you have a friend named ashley?   no, but that's my older sister's name. are you an aunt or an uncle?   yep. did you use to watch blues clues?   of course. are you a twilight fan?   i never was. when’s the last time you threw up?   couple weeks ago.  one of my pills makes me sick sometimes. do you stutter when you get nervous?   terribly. what is your favorite superhero movie?   "ghost rider," if you count him. do you think that aliens exist?   no. do you own a pair of converses?   i've got a few. do you regret your last relationship?   i sure do. do you plan on having children in the future?   currently, no.  i really don't think i'm capable of raising another human being efficiently. when did you last go to the doctor and what for?   i went to my therapy appointment a few days ago. are you socially awkward?   agonizingly would you rather watch a comedy movie or horror movie?   horror if you could choose to be any mythical character, which would you choose?   dragon what is your favorite animal and why?   meerkats.  they're adorable, unspeakably brave and loyal, and so curious. do you find yourself on youtube a lot?   it's always open. what is something that reminds you of your childhood?   dinosaurs what show do you miss coming on television?   "meerkat manor" :( have you ever tried opening your eyes under water?   yeah.  don't like doing it though. have you ever been admitted to the hospital?   five times. do you have a hint of obsessive compulsive disorder?   a bit.  i used to have baaad repetitive thought cycles when i was younger. do you use any acne medication?   nah.  i don't really get acne anymore. if you’re offered a trip to either hawaii or alaska which would you choose?   alaska what cause (feminism, gay rights, abortion, etc) are you most passionate about?   the pro-life movement how much money have you saved by shop lifting?   what the fuck?!  i don't shoplift to begin with.  wtf. do you hate when couples are like “i love you” after dating for about 2 days?   it's ignorant as fuck to say, yes.  those are dangerous fucking words. have you ever run away?   yes. ever been attacked by a dog?   no.  my little sister has, though.  i'm pretty sure she still has the scar. ever had an out-of-body experience?   no. ever considered acupuncture?   noooo. do you prefer gory horror films or the psychological ones?   PSYCHOLOGICAL do you have a favorite youtuber? or do you not watch much youtube?   rhett&link + markplier are my literal babes. who do you text the most? or do you like to text at all?   sara. do you like ronnie james dio?   \m/, motherfucker. ever given a tattoo before? would you like to?   no.  i have tremors, so that'd be a terrible idea. have you ever had a pet bird?   no. do you have any siblings that you never seen before?   one half-sister, yes. have you ever heard a song that made you cry?   most notably johnny cash's version of "hurt."  the first time i listened to it, i couldn't help but cry.  like i know it's a cover, but his version just personifies pain. do you like the show “that 70s show”?   it's probably like my second-favorite show.  it's fucking hysterical. has your house ever been broken in to?   thank god no.  the bloods tried to break into our old house though while my older sister and her old best friend were home alone.  they were terrified. do you listen to blink-182?   some of their songs are great, sure.  i like a couple. do you listen to nirvana?   sometimes. what thumb do you use to hit the space bar with?   my right. do you like regular or chocolate milk better?   chocolate growing up, did you listen to country music?   not usually by will, but i did regardless.  my older sister usually controlled the radio and such.  if i wanted to listen to music on my own time, it was usually mainstream pop. do you have a gazebo at your house?   no do you like tomatoes?   nooo. what type of waffles do you like? (plain, blueberry etc..)   plain do you like chicken or beef better? or do you not eat meat?   i prefer chicken. did america really put a man on the moon?   yes. have you ever dated outside of your race?   for less than a day. were you born in a hospital, or somewhere else?   in a hospital. who is your favorite male singer?   patrick stump from fall out boy. do you listen to any acoustic bands, or singers?   not specifically. what is your birthstone?   amethyst do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?   just go to the drive-thru.  i mean, isn't that the point of a fast food restaurant, to get food quickly and easily? do you like chinese food over pizza?   nope. if someone you know offered you pot, what would you say?   well first, i'd say no, and two, i'd most likely dissociate from that person.  i in no way get involved with drugs. have you ever been to a strip club?   hell no. how was/is the food in the cafeteria at your school?   some were actually pretty decent, others were hellish. what is your favorite song?   "do i wanna know?" by the arctic monkeys what do you think of the name courtney?   i like it. do you have a wild side?   not really, honestly. ever gone boating all day?   i've been on a boat while fishing most of the day, but not like, all day. what is your favorite thing about going to your grandma’s house?   honestly?  nothing.  i don't even get along with my grandma. do you like eggs?   only if they're scrambled and cheesy. who are your heroes?   mark fischbach and my mom. do you know who rodney atkins is?   i live in the south, buddy.  take a guess. are you tall?   no. when is the last time you wore a dress?   my sister's wedding. what is the last alcoholic beverage you’ve had?   a strawberry smirnoff. do you know someone that smiles ALL the time?   no.  that'd be freaky. who is the hottest person alive?   link neal, boys and girls. are you ready for summer?   hell no.  i hate everything about summer. do you like the sun or do you like snow better?   snow!! don’t you love pancakes?   hell ye boi. quick name a country singer:   tim mcgraw.  the only one i sincerely like. who did you last have an alcoholic drink with?   family. ever had fruit pizza?   ew, no.  fruit doesn't belong on pizza. do you know anyone named caleb?   i'm acquainted with one.  he's cool. how many friends do you have on facebook?   around 110, i think a little more? what was on the last sandwich you ate?   peanut butter. what sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school?   the same stuff i listen to now: heavy metal.  i went through a phase where i listened to even heavier, more emo-styled bands, though. what is your favorite thai dish?   never tried any. how many contacts do you have in your phone?   i think like 15, lol. when was the last time you made out with somebody?   around a year and a half. what month of the year was your mother born?   august. how many apps do you have on your phone?   only four.  my phone doesn't have a lot of memory. have you ever dated a smoker? if not, would you?   i haven't, and no, i honestly wouldn't. would you rather travel to japan or scotland?   hmmmm... i THINK japan, but i'm honestly unsure. what is your mother’s first name?   donna. do you share a middle name with any of your siblings?   yes. have there ever been any bushfires/wildfires in your area?   it's possible i guess, but i don't think so. how would you label your sexual orientation?   heterosexual do you consider your goals easily achievable or are they pretty grand?   eh, kinda in-between... my only real goal is to be a photographer, but the photography industry is SUPER competitive. what’s your favorite vegetable?   broccoli is yummy.  especially with cheese. would you rather eat italian or indian food?   italian have you ever missed a flight?   no. can you name five adjectives describing you?   passionate, shy, sleepy, nervous, and loyal. do you prefer long or short hair on the opposite sex?   a bit long. what is your favorite soda?   mountain dew what is your opinion on legalizing drugs?   you are honestly naive if you believe that's a good idea.  no offense. do you like country music?   no. have you ever done something illegal more than once?   yes. if you could marry any celebrity, who would it be?   mark fischbach omg can you swim?   yes. what are your fears?   pregnancy/childbirth, closed spaces, being alone in the end, long-legged spiders, the ocean, whale sharks, maggots/larvae, other things... do you shave your arms even though it supposedly grows back thick?   no. do you ever get too lazy to clean up your pet’s pee and leave it for your parents to do it?   i clean my dog's pee because he's my responsibility.  if cali pees, i tell mom.  bentley, i tell nicole. what insects or bugs do you fear most?   rhino beetles and wasps do you think weed is just as bad as cigarettes?   it's fact that it's worse.  it has more carcinogens. don’t you just love free samples?   obviously. are you someone’s best friend?   no. have you ever used alternative medicine or old-fashioned remedies?   i don't think so. what color and style is your hair?   it's red, but with overgrown roots. do you wear glasses?   yeah. do you want kids?   no.  there's just no way i'd be able to properly take care of a kid. what if you were in a fire and you could only save one object, what would it be?   i'm guessing family and pets are already safe?  then in that case, my laptop. what if you could ask god any one question, what would it be?   "why do people who aren't sure whether or not they believe in you go to hell?" what if you found a suitcase full of $1,000,000, what would you do?   honestly, i'd look for identification.  i just couldn't take that much money with a good conscience. what if you had to choose, would you give up your sight or your hearing?   sight.  i couldn't live in total silence. what if you saw a robbery, would you report it?   obviously??? what if you were given a chance to go to the moon, would you go? why or why not?  no.  i don't want to be in space that long. what if your friend could not have a child, would you carry her child for her?   honestly, no. my 1st job was:   game stop sales clerk favorite dog breed:   hmmm.  i really really like akita inus.  papillons, too. assuming you had the cash to make it happen, what would your ideal living situation be at this point in your life (i.e. with who, where, under what circumstances, etc.)?  how does your ideal compare to your current situation?   i don't have anyone i'd like to live with besides who i do now, but i know i'd really like a wood house in the woods by a waterfall.  it'd be different from where i live now, definitely.  we live right beside a road that leads to a small town. if someone were to travel to your city (assuming they have never been there before), what would you tell them to visit? is your city (or the closest larger city to you) a big tourist area at all?  lmao there's nothing to really visit.  and no. if, as a parent of a teenager, you knew that your teenage daughter was having sex/thinking about having sex, would you put her on birth control pills? do you agree or disagree with those who say that placing teenagers on the pill encourages promiscuous sex? if you’re on the pill, how old were you when you went on it? if you’re not, have you ever considered taking it?   i'd be pretty heavily trying to influence her to not have sex as a teen, but if that's what she really wanted, yes, i'd put her on the pill.  i don't believe it encourages promiscuous sex, no.  i was put on the pill when i was like... maybe 16, but only due to severe period cramps. what is the worst example of poverty you have seen in person? does this make you feel guilty at all (say, for throwing out food that you didn’t finish)?   the saddest thing i saw, actually recently, was a pregnant woman with her husband in the pouring rain with just a small umbrella and a sign.  can't remember what it said, honestly, but it was depressing.  and of course i feel guilty. do you look at sex as a special thing that is shared with someone you love, or do you treat sex more casually? if you are a virgin, are you waiting for the right person to come along, or do you have religious/moral reasons to wait?   it is 100% something special you share with hopefully one person.  and i'm waiting for both reasons. do you unfriend people on facebook who post endless status updates or seem to be begging for attention? what about family members or coworkers – are you comfortable accepting their friend requests?  is there anything on your facebook that could potentially cause trouble for you if someone were to see it?   if you're fishing for attention, hell yes i do.  i don't put up with that.  and i take invites from family, yes.  but i guess my use of profanity could cause some nasty looks from some of my family, particularly my grandma. when you have a significant other, are you honest about everything with that person, or do you think that there are some things better left unsaid? do you want your significant other to be willing to tell you anything and everything as well?   i'm entirely open.  and yes. grossest memory:   that one time my late lizard pooped aaall over my hands and shirt.  i nearly puked. what do you think of "abstinence"?   it's the safest option for everyone. don’t you just hate preachers?   uhhh, nooo...? does a mango smoothie sound good to you now?  omgggg yaaaas what’s something that you find trashy?  very short shorts.  cover your ass, please. crayons or markers?   crayons would you rather receive roses or sunflowers?   roses. do you like to stay in your pajamas all day long?   honestly, i'm always in my pajamas unless i have to go somewhere. mints or chewing gum?   gum. at one point of your life, have you been obsessed with dinosaurs or robots?   dinosaurs, yes.  i was obsessed as a kid.  i still think they're cool. have you ever been in a car accident?   yes. are you afraid of stink bugs?   yeah, they look freaky. are you interested in anime?  somewhat, sure. name your favorite cartoon.   pokemon are you afraid of the dentist?   nah. do you believe in abortion?  no. have you ever tried jolly rancher candy canes?   YUUUUM, yes ;v; do you go hunting?   no. what is your biggest accomplishment in life so far?   recovering. do documentaries bore you?   if they're about animals, no. are you usually happy or sad most of the time?  happy, as of the late. (: are you afraid of spiders?   most, yes. what is your most prized possession?  the plaque i have for graduating in the very top percentage of my class. do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?  closed. have you ever peed in the woods?   no. ever used a gun?   no. who would you like to see in concert?  METALLICA, PLSSSSSS what’s your second favorite color?   pink do you know any african spiritual songs?   no. what kind of stuff do you like on your hot dogs?   mustard and ketchup. what’s one thing that’s happened to you that has made you a stronger person?   jason breaking up with me. what’s one thing that’s happened to you in your life that made you feel weak?   again, jason leaving. who do you think has had the largest influence on the person you are today?   myself? what is one thing you feel your life is missing?   adventure, definitely.  action. which blink-182 song do you think is the most depressing?   that i know?  "i miss you." what color lights are on your christmas tree?   we use colorful ones every year. are there hurricanes where you live?   yep. have you ever been to a rehab center?   i guess that depends on what you mean by "rehab center."  never a place exclusively to get off drugs, no.  but the mental hospitals i've been to doubled as detox centers.  which was remarkably stupid.  you don't treat mental illness patients the same as patients going through detox??? what’s your favorite flavor of ramen?   i don't like ramen. have you ever been given an ink blot test? if so, what did you see in it?   in a therapy thing, yes actually.  and i mean, lots of things?  i was shown various things. are you friends with someone who is a stoner?   no.  wait, yes actually.  but we don't really talk much anymore. do you like playing shooting games at the arcade?   nah. how long have you lived in the house you live in?   only like two months. where did you lose your virginity, if you have?   n/a what color car(s) do your parents drive?   i think dad's is black, mom's is white. what are your views on getting rid of the penny?   i don't really care. which asian country would you most like to visit?   japan have you ever had a nosebleed?   hasn't everyone at one point or another? do you have bangs?   no. have you ever kissed someone underneath mistletoe?   i don't think so. do you have a weak stomach?   no. which website do you spend the most time on?   youtube.  it's always open/i'm always listening to something, usually let's plays. have you ever kissed someone of a different race?   he kissed me, i didn't kiss him. do you read fanfiction? if so, what fandoms?   no, actually. would you go back to your ex if he/she asked you?   tyler, definitely not.  jason, not right away.  he'd definitely have to prove himself to me again. do you like stars, or hearts better?   hearts mickey mouse, or winnie the pooh?   pooh! where is the best place to get ice cream?   coldstone, brother.

[dylanowhy]

Big Break - Dylan O’Brien Imagine

Author: dylanowhy (me)

Summary: Deciding to follow your dream, you try out for a small role in a new upcoming movie. During your audition you end up practicing lines with none other than Dylan O’Brien, thus landing you the lead part. Now you’re getting your big break, while also falling in love with your co-star.

Pairings: Dylan O’Brien x Reader

Warnings: Language.

Word Count:2,688

A/N: There will most certainly be a part two! (Y/E/C) = Your Eye Color

You paced back and forth as you ran through your lines. Your parents would kill you if they found out. You were supposed to be in class right now, studying the in-depth version of American literature, but instead you were auditioning for a small role in an upcoming rom-com. You didn’t know much about the movie, but the small storyline you were given was enough to catch your attention. You were going for the part of the best friend of the leading female role, something simple to start you off. Acting has always been your dream and you figured if you could land this part that your parents will finally understand.

“(Y/N)!” Stacy yelled. You had met her earlier, she had been a big help to you along the way of this audition. “Listen. I know you’re working on your lines but could you do me the biggest favor?” She asked, head cocking to the slide with hopeful eyes. “Me? Uh—Sure?” You didn’t want to say no, call it brownie points but you needed this.

She motioned for you to follow her and so you did. You stayed close as she began to tell you what was going on. “So, we have our male lead here and our potential female lead was supposed to come in today to rehearse lines. Our director – Jim – Really wants the two stars to have a connect between each other. Something about it looking more real on film.” We stopped abruptly, Stacy having to quickly sign something and rush the other person away. This was exciting to you, the adrenalin of being on set, the busy bodies and bounding moments. You’d die to experience this every day. “Sorry – As I was saying, he still needs the practice and seeing as you know this script like the back of your hand, I was thinking you could help him out really quick? He is currently working on another project so getting him in here today was hard enough.” At the end of her sentence Stacy stopped in front of the door that lead to the casting room, her eyes remained to have that hopeful look and you couldn’t help but nod your head in excitement. She then opened the door and what you saw caused your eyes to widen.

Dylan O’Brien was standing in front of a long table, eyes fixated on the script in front of him as he mouthed the lines to himself. You were not expecting this. Dylan had been your celebrity crush for quite some time now, but you never thought you’d meet him in your wildest dreams, let alone read lines with him. “Dyl, this is (Y/N), the girl I was telling you about. Literally knows all her lines like I know Jim’s lunch order.” She rolled her eyes. “Thanks again girl!” She left you standing there, speechless. She had told Dylan about you and now you didn’t know exactly what to do with yourself anymore. It was like you were frozen.

It felt like minutes – maybe hours before he spoke, “Hey!” His voice was cheerful. “Sorry to drag you into this, I have to wrap up my last episode today and to be honest this script has been the last thing on my mind. You okay?” His eyebrows raised and you realized you had yet to move or even breath. You let out a shaky breath, he didn’t notice, and if he did he didn’t mention it at all. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine! It’s just – I don’t know, this film is a little more indie than mainstream. I guess I didn’t expect such a big star to be a part of it.” You told him honestly. It was Dylan O’Brien after all, the reason every girls’ hormones were in rage. Even if this movie did have promise, for someone who was doing so well it seemed like a step back.

His eyes widen at your words. “Big star, huh?” He let out a laugh, small, but enough to make you melt. “I know Jim very well, and he sat me down with the vision of this movie – It’s real, like the storyline of it isn’t gimmicky bullshit. I like that.” You couldn’t help but smile, his words were true, the idea of the movie was real and that was why she decided to audition for it. It told the story of how love could be mind-blowing and soul wrecking at the same time. You nodded, showing your understanding and agreement.

He raised his script indicating he was ready to get started and you almost forgot you were still clutching yours in your hand. “Il fait froid et j’ai tres faim.” Dylan spoke in French, the way the accent rolled off his tongue was so natural, his acting skills were quite amazing. “I’m sorry, you need help in French why?” Stacy was not lying when she said you knew this script, not even needing to look at the lines. Dylan gave you a slight impressed look as he glanced back down at the bundle papers in his hand. “I don’t. This was all an elaborate plan to get you back to my place.” He said as a matter of fact, you didn’t realize how close you two have gotten, like two magnets being draw to each other. “Wow, so smooth. You know I think you deserve a reward.” You cocked your head to the side, a sarcastic smile covering your face. It was then you noticed the slight glint in his eye, the reason of you noticing was because you were that close to him. Your bodies probably an inch apart, his eyes flickered from yours to your lips as he whispered, “You’re so beautiful.” Those words were nowhere to be found in the script but before either of you could say or do anything else there was a booming round of applause behind you.

“Bravo! Brilliant!” You turned to see Stacy with a very happy looking Jim beside her. “That is what I am talking about! I can practically feel the tension from here. Stacy, I believe we have found our lead lady. Filming starts next week kids!” You stood in complete disbelief as Stacy gave you the thumbs up, “Good job girl!” She said excitedly as she closed the door, leaving you and Dylan alone. You almost forgot he was so close to you until he spoke, “Shit.” You turned to see him looking down at his phone, the time passing by quicker than you wanted it to. “I should get going, but congrats! I am looking forward to working with you.” His smiling eyes and genuine look on his face made you gush. “I’ll see you later.” You responded as he swiftly moved past you and out the door.

This was so surreal. Not only did you just meet the one and only Dylan O’Brien but you just landed a lead role in a film. You wanted to scream, jump, and dance with excitement but the thought of Dylan wouldn’t leave your mind. Maybe you were imagining it, the way he looked at you, but you could not stop that slither of hope in the back of your mind. He was everything you dreamed and more in person. A nice guy who really just fell into stardom, it didn’t seem like things got to his head and you were thankful for that. All you knew is that you could not wait for next week, not just because it was going to be the beginning of your life, possibly your big break, but also, you’d get to see him again.

“Dylan O’Brien?!” Your best friend asked, eyebrow raised accusing you of lying. “Yes.” You used your straw to stir your drink, ignoring the glare she was giving you. “DYLAN O’Brien?!” Emphases on the Dylan this time, causing her voice to go an octave louder. “Would you be quite!” You hissed, you didn’t want attention to be drawn to you guys, you were at your favorite restaurant and did not feel like getting banned for the rest of your life. “DYLAN O’BRIEN!” Your eyes widened as she basically screamed. “Are you kidding me?! I will fight you right now.” You threatened as you dismissed the random stares from strangers with a smile. “I’m sorry, okay? It’s not every day your bestie goes out and accomplishes her dream along with meeting the hottest guy on the planet. I am a little excited.” This caused you to roll your eyes, of course you were happy to have a friend who was this supportive but sometimes she could be a little much.

“He said I was beautiful.” You stated, watching her jaw drop. “Like it was in the script?” She questioned. “No.” – “So he just called you beautiful?” She spoke slowly, obviously trying to wrap her head around it and you could feel her pain, because you did the same thing as well. “Yes.” You said simply and her eyes lit up. “Do you know what this means? This means that Dylan is into you! He obviously had a connection with you, one you can’t deny. I predict hot sex by the end of next week.” You couldn’t help but laugh at her, of course you had felt the connection too, you couldn’t deny that even if you wanted to but did you think anything would happen between the two? No. Why? Because he has a girlfriend. “He has a girlfriend.” You told her something she already knew. “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” She sang song with a cocky attitude. You just sighed. You knew that would never happen – Dylan had a heart of gold and even if there was an attraction there he was not the type to do something like that to someone. You didn’t know him well, but you knew him enough.

A week pasted by faster than you thought and when you got to set, time didn’t slow down. It was off to get dressed, then off to hair and make-up within no time. So many people were complimenting you and asking you questions. Was this what it was really like? You gave a look of relief when you saw Stacy, a familiar face was what you needed. “I am so happy to have you be a part of this. I see you’ve gotten dolled up for your first scene, it’s a real cute one, when Caleb first see’s Mallory in the café. I’m sure you know it by heart.” She gave you a reassuring look, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “I know it’s a lot to take in first day, but you’ll love it sooner rather than later. You’ve got this (Y/N), I believe in you.” And in an instant Stacy was whisked off into the distance, probably handling some business. You were happy you met her, her kind words found a way to your heart, putting you at an ease you didn’t know existed.

“She’s right you know. It all gets to a certain normality, plus you seem like a natural at this. You’ll probably come in tomorrow like it’s no big deal.” That voice caused your heart to pound as you turned to face Dylan, his smile was faint but there, he looked slightly tired which is probably why he was clutching onto a cup of coffee. “Thanks.” Your voice was soft and you cursed at yourself for that. The effect this boy had on you, it was unfair. “D! You ready to get this show on the road?” A bright loud voice interrupted and you quickly put a face to it. Tyler Posey was supporting a goofy grin standing beside you, earlier in the week you found out he would be co-starring in the movie with you and you were honestly excited to get to know him. However, before you could say anything Jim yelled at you from the set. “See you guys in a few.” You smiled, making your way to film your first scene. “So, that’s the girl?” You heard Tyler ask behind you which Dylan replied with a small, “Yup.”

This was a breeze, you were nailing your lines left and right, it was like you’ve been doing these things for years and had already mastered it all. However, filming with Tyler and Dylan proved to be almost impossible. Although you got your lines right, the two boys would do or say something that would make the other laugh, which is why this was the fourth take of one of the simplest scenes. “I am about to punch you both in the throat.” You said sarcastically as you placed your hands on the table in front of them. They were laughing hysterically, “Your girl is feisty.” Tyler said to Dylan and you could see his face turn red as he coughed out a few laughs. Nervously, he scratched the back of his head as he straightened up in his seat. “Yeah.” He mumbled, looking up at you through thick lashes. There was no denying that you were blushing. “Okay, let’s try this one more time without all of the fucking around.” Jim said with a smile. Jim treated everyone like a friend, even when he was in his director chair. It made it easy to work with him, he was always super nice.

You all got back in your places, the laughter dying down. You stood by Emma, your co-star. She was kind of funny but was a lot more serious than the rest of you. You could tell she wanted to hurry and get the scene over with. “And why do I care?” She began, and Tyler spoke up, “Because you’re into me.” He responded and she huffed, so far so good. “How about you and your brown eyed friend here—“ Tyler was doing so perfectly, actually delivering his line this time before being interrupted, “(Y/E/C).” Dylan said, throwing Tyler completely off guard. “What?” Tyler asked and Dylan immediately realized what he had done. He tried his hardest to redeem himself, making things seem as if the word he just said was in the script. “Her eyes are (Y/E/C).” His voice trailed off and Jim yelled cut. “Okay, okay. Improvising I see there Dylan.” Jim was silent for a moment before clapping his hands together. “Love it! Works! Stacy get me a coffee, we’ve got two more scenes to run with Tyler and Emma then we are out of here!” The whole group on set let out a sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry about that.” Dylan’s voice came from behind you. Tyler and Emma were running their last scene and you stuck around to watch after you had changed back into your clothes. You didn’t have anywhere else to be, so you decided you would take notes while watching to professionals. “No. I mean, it worked, right? Jim loved it. Maybe improvising is your thing.” You nudged him, noticing how his face softened at how lightly you were taking things. “Listen, Tyler and I usually go out after set. Either get a bite or a drink, you should tag along. Bounding time is important you know, we will be spending around six to eight months together on the movie.” You tried not to light up at the idea of spending so much time with Dylan, but part of you couldn’t help it. “Sounds good to me.” You accepted his offer, causing his smile to grow wide.

You don’t know what exactly was happening between you two. But whatever it was, you didn’t want to stop it. Maybe he was just being extra friendly because he knew you were new to the world of acting, or maybe it was something more. You felt so relaxed around him in the most nerve wrecking ways. You wanted to constantly talk to him but somehow never knew what to say. It was like high school all over again, and you couldn’t wait to see what would happen next.

[pauperpedia]

Tuesday Brewsday 23: Blisterscape Swarm

Back in article #16 I briefly touched on a Gruul list piloted/created by Matra that utilized Sprout Swarm as a way to create a bunch of tokens. The deck relied more so on synergies and cards like Dynacharge or Might of the Masses to win, and wasn’t a true combo deck. Fast forward to just last December of 2019, and Caleb Gannon unleashed 6 Land Abzan Soul Sisters. This wasn’t what I was trying to build, the elements of what I was trying to do were in there. Now, with the current release of Ikoria, we got a new combo piece card in Blisterspit Gremlin. This feisty Gremlin added a gross amount of redundancy to my version of Matra’s Gruul Sprout Swarm deck making it possible to turn it into a true combo deck. By combining elements from Caleb’s deck, Matra’s deck, and a little help from Zmplfy aka NotGood, I’ve created a truly exciting deck. Allow me to introduce you to Blisterscape Swarm!

4 Sprout Swarm

4 Blisterspit Gremlin

4 Nettle Sentinel

4 Thermo-Alchemist

4 Thunderscape Familiar

4 Land Grant

10 Forest

4 Saruli Caretaker

4 Loam Dryad

1 Llanowar Elves

1 Fyndhorn Elves

2 Elvish Mystic

4 Street Wraith

4 Elvish Visionary

3 Winding Way

3 Lead the Stampede

The main combo centers around Sprout Swarm’s ability to be cast for buyback and convoke. All we need to have on the battlefield are four of our combo creatures to be able to create infinite sprout tokens at instant speed. Even without all four creatures on the battlefield, this deck can easily spit out tokens based on the sheer number of creatures and card draw the deck offers. There are 16 creatures that make up for redundancy which really makes it possible for you to “swarm off”.

Blisterspit Gremlin untaps every time you cast a non-creature spell, but the cool thing about this Gremlin is it’s able to ping your opponent’s life total which helps get around things like Fog effects. Having a creature that does this for one mana is HUGE and helps the deck to go off at anytime from a Lead the Stampede or Winding Way if we have a Sprout Swarm in hand. Another one drop that acts in a similar way is Nettle Sentinel, which untaps if you cast a green spell which plays well with the aforementioned Sprout Swarm. Being a 2/2 doesn’t hurt it either and can help put early game pressure on your opponent, or make them think twice about attacking in.

Thermo-Alchemist is a creature you most often find in burn. With three toughness it makes for an excellent blocker to slow down aggro decks. The ability to ping an opponent for 1 life is nice and helps get around fog effects the same way Blisterspit Gremlin does, but where it really shines is being able to untap after convoking a SS since it’s an instant. Thunderscape Familiar is our other two drop combo piece that helps towards building a ton of tokens or go infinite. Making all our green spells is really sweet too, turning Winding Way into an Ancestral Recall, allowing Elvish Visionary to cantrip, and reducing the cost of Lead the Stampede making it possible to draw a bunch of cards for only two mana. The first strike ability doesn’t come up too often as there aren’t a whole lot of one toughness creatures that will be attacking in, but multiples on the field can make your opponent think twice about getting in for damage.

Just like in almost every single one of Caleb Gannon’s deck, to maximize the value of our draw spells and increase the chances of drawing gas, we are running the least amount of lands possible. Zmplfy, aka NotGood, was the one responsible for coming up with the land to mana dork ratio. Land Grant is there to thin the deck somewhat and give us that marginal edge, but it also shuffles our library if we happen to bottom a Sprout Swarm with Lead the Stampede. I thought it was a good idea to throw in a playset of Khalni Garden as well since it helps out Loam Dryad and Saruli Caretaker. Having a land that comes into play tapped isn’t back breaking or anything, since we’re not really comboing off till turn 4 at the earliest. To make mana with minimal land support it’s essential to run a playset of mana dorks that don’t rely on other creatures like Dryad or Caretaker. In order to dodge the chances of getting hit by echoing truth or decay I like to run two Elvish Mystic, one Llanowar Elves, and one Fyndhorn Elves.

Since Sprout Swarm is our main win condition it’s I thought it was good to have creatures that draw cards themselves. Street Wraith is a necessary evil since we have such a low land count. It’s nice to be able to draw a card at the simple cost of two life, and it can be found off of Winding Way and Lead the Stampede. Elvish Visionary is a decent creature at its base being a 1/1 for two mana that draws you a card, but if you can cast it for one green mana because of a Thunderscape Familiar, it becomes a great creature. The final draw spells in the deck are three Winding Way and three Lead the Stampede. Winding Way is great for its two mana cmc, but it has the chance of putting Sprout Swarm into your graveyard which is a real bummer. Lead the Stampede on the other hand at least puts it on the bottom of your graveyard, but costs one more mana which can be a lot in a deck like this. Combine both of these cards with our Familiar, then they become the best draw spells in the format!

4 Pyroblast

2 Scattershot Archer

3 Weather the Storm

3 Spidersilk Armor

1 Relic of Progenitus

2 Viridian Longbow

There is no worse feeling that having a blue deck counter your Sprout Swarm after all the hard work you spent setting up an infinite token loop. Pyroblast is here to give them a taste of their own medicine, and also give your pingers one last chance at delivering a killing blow if the opportunity arises since the ruling states any spell or creature can be targeted, but the spell only effects blue spells or creatures.

Further sticking it to Delver decks we have two Scattershot Archers. These archers can wreak havoc on all their flyers outside of Spire Golem.

Viridian Longbow also helps in the Delver matchup, however you run the danger of thinning your deck with spells that move your gameplan along by over boarding. Viridian Longbow is here primarily for Tron decks that attempt to lock you out of combat with Stonehorn Dignitary. You can set up a machine gun effect of sorts with Blisterspit Gremlin or Nettle Sentinel and mow your opponent down.

Spidersilk Armor is there when you’re up against any deck that is likely to bring in pseudo board wipes like Shrivel, Pestilence, Electrickery, Krark-Clan Shaman, etc. It also gives your creatures reach which makes it a great card to bring in against Boros variants so you can block their squadron and protect against electrickery at the same time.

Weather the Storm is a fantastic card that you’re going to absolutely bring in against Burn. It’s easy to use your own storm count to cast a big enough Weather the Storm to put your life total out of reach. You can also bring in a couple when you’re up against aggro decks to stall for more rounds while you try and go infinite.

The last on this list is Relic of Progenitus. This is your silver bullet against the new Cycling combo deck. Bringing one in against Tron decks and Mystic Sanctuary decks that gain value from their graveyard.

It may or not be the new hot combo deck, but the ability to create infinite tokens at instant speed is bound to be good. With so much redundancy it’s really easy to create a bunch of tokens, the hard part is finding Sprout Swarm itself. I hope you can “Swarm Off” on your opponents and most of all have a good time doing it. Please visit and like/follow my Facebook page pauperpedia, a fan page dedicated to bringing you links to daily articles, videos, and podcast covering Pauper. You can also email me at Pauperpedia@gmail.com if any of you have submissions as well. Till next time folks, have a happy Brewsday!