#and a bunch of other random things i've been obsessed with
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allieebobo · 1 year ago
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Do you have any if recommendation?
Ooh! I have really, really bad memory(!!) but these are current faves that I have played/replayed recently that I can think of. A lot of the authors are also THE BEST HUMAN BEINGS EVER. So, double recommendation.
I probably missed a bunch out, so take this as a non-exhaustive list! In no particular order:
(Edit: Added some descriptions but yeah I got a little unhinged so I'm sorry nothing makes sense or if the quality of the write-up went down over time/did not actually give you any useful info)
WIPs with demos
Citadel, @bouncyballcitadel (I think of all the IFs on this list, this one makes me sweat the most. And I've said it once and I'll say it again: the dialogue is so snappy and well-written, and characters are SO DAMNED LOVEABLE.)
Infamous, @infamous-if (I've been manifesting Band/Musician IFs for the longest time, and then this popped up! I've even played Choice of a Rockstar, that's how desperate I was... Anyway, this is legions better than that. Angsty ex routes are my kryptonite, and Seven is just. Inevitable.)
Defiled Hearts: The Barbarian, @defiledheartsblog (I went into this wanting something juicy and fun/historical—and it's all of those things, but I didn't expect it to be so damned funny, too. The ROs are all impeccable.)
Raiders of the Caravan and Apartment 3-3, @leftski-if (A'ight listen, fantasy slice-of-life is my fave genre, and these are IT. Like, everything I never knew I needed in my life, and SO cozy/wholesome, with a cast of characters that I want to befriend in real life.)
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: An Affair of the Heart @doriana-gray-games (First off, the customization in this game is INSANE, and the branching too. I've replayed a couple of times and the little variations I discover each time just blows my mind. Secondly, it's so funny and written so well. Ngl I'm not a Sherlock fan but that's just testament to how amazing this IF is.)
When Life Gives You Lemons, @when-life-gives-you-lemonssss (Modern slice-of-life with an adorable kid, a bunch of hot ROs, CC. Hill's humor, what can I say?)
Golden @milaswriting (Really interesting world-building, one of the coolest fictional cities I've read in an IF, AND I'm obsessed with the ROs, in particular K de la Renta. Also Mila is such an awesome writer, I'm beyond excited for @beyondthegame.)
A Tale of Crowns @ataleofcrowns (This game is beautiful, polished, and SO exciting. Honestly, it looks like the kind of game created by a whole-ass game studio and would cost $50 to buy, it's that good. I really got swept up by this IF—probably played it all in one go.)
Rougi @rougi-if (Again, another game with scrumptious visuals/UI and also is just so well-crafted. I love the premise too, it's so original and fresh.)
Scout: An Apocalypse Story @anya-dev (Unfortunately this one might be on hiatus but I am/was really, really obsessed.)
Wayfarer @idrellegames (Love the game mechanics of this one, and the visuals. Probably controversial, but I like the D&D / random dice effect. And I also like the fact that it feels like an old-school RPG.)
Chop shop @losergames (The premise is all I needed to be sold, really—I'd always wanted to buy GTA as a kid but my parents were like NO WAY. Anyway, this IF did not disappoint, and let me live all my childhood dreams.)
Edit: AHH! How could I forget, one of my recent faves, Folksaga @folksaga-if (Lush atmospheric writing, super unique premise—norse mythology, plus I'm head over heels for Katla).
Completed IFs
Butterfly Soup 1 and 2 @brianna-lei (these are completed and I will never not promote them. Honestly the most adorable, wholesome, funny sports/coming-of-age IF I've read)
Elsinore: After Hamlet @lapinlunairegames (Insanely cool premise, insanely cool execution)
The Thick Table Tavern @manonamora-if (I love bar/tavern games, and this one actually lets you mix drinks! Instant fave.)
Other HGs/COGs I love: Slammed, Tin Star, Fallen Hero, If it pleases the court, A Player's Heart (these last two are so underrated, though I guess cause it's mainly wlw)
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farmhandler · 2 months ago
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Tumblr ficlet prompt: I've been obsessed with the concept of Logan doing sneaky little romantic things like taking Wade on a date but he doesn't know it's a date/logan doesn't want him to know it's a date, getting him little things and trying to pass it off as no big deal
Here's a little combination!!
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"That was fun," Wade said as soon as they walked in the door. He immediately dropped his coat to the floor and slipped on his crocs, bending down to gather Mary Puppins into his arms. "Who's a good girl?" he cooed. "You are, my little precious baby!"
Logan picked up Wade's coat and hung both on the rack. He walked over to Wade who was still kissing Mary Puppins's head in repeated affection. "You had a good time? I wasn't sure you'd like it."
"Oh, I hate bowling. I haven't been since I thought I was straight," Wade said. "But watching you work so hard and shake that little tush to impress me was so adorable. And we had the whole place to ourselves!"
Wade wearing his full suit might have had something to do with that. Not that Logan had been complaining.
"Were you impressed?" Logan asked, only half teasing. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out a couple of drinks.
Wade cocked his head like he was thinking about it. "If I could remember what an impressive bowling score was, I'm sure I would have been. My eyes were on your ass for ninety percent of night. Why did you want to go to a bowling alley anyway?"
Logan tapped the drink to the back of Wade's head and dropped it in his hand. Wade immediately unscrewed the cap and lifted his mask to start drinking it.
"Holy fuck, that's so good," he gushed. "What is this?" He looked at the label.
"It's new, I think? Thought you might like it," Logan said. He scratched his neck. "You kept saying you were craving chocolate the other day."
He shrugged while Wade watched him, sipping on his drink.
"Are you having a mid-nearly-immortal-life crisis?" Wade asked.
Logan turned to him, brow furrowed. "What? No."
"Yesterday you gave me that Hello Kitty keychain you 'thought I would like'. And last week you brought in a bunch of outfits for Mary Puppins to try on out of fucking nowhere and the whole day became a photoshoot sesh, which you normally hate."
"One of the X-Men was getting rid of them," Logan said.
"You've been dropping random shit in my lap for weeks. And last week we went thrifting for four hours and you didn't complain even once."
Logan hadn't thought he'd been keeping track.
"And now bowling? What's up, peanut? Are you dying?"
Logan sipped his drink quietly for a second. "Wanted to take you out. I always liked bowling. Makes for a solid date spot."
Wade ripped off his mask and just stared at him.
"Date? That was a date?"
Wade slapped his hands over his mouth.
"Holy fuck. You've been wining and dining me? That taco truck you tracked down for me three days ago after we took care of that warehouse situation...Logan!"
Logan lifted his shoulders like it wasn't a big deal. It really wasn't.
"You sneaky little motherfucker. Is this your plot to make me fall in love with you?" Wade stood up and marched over. "Because it'll work! Food trucks after doing a bunch of murder is my weakness. But you should know..."
He stopped in front of Logan and walked his fingers up his chest. Logan snatched his hand and shifted closer, wrapping his arm around Wade's waist.
"What?" he said lowly.
"I'm wearing my rubber masturbating shoes," Wade whispered loudly. "Meet me in the bedroom after you shower. We are not fucking while you smell like a bowling alley."
Logan leaned his head forward, chuckling. His head bumped into Wade's, so all it took was a shift in angle to meet his mouth in a kiss.
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cpericardium · 19 days ago
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This is the story of the time I interviewed at Ubisoft.
When I was a teenager, I became obsessed with the Bioshock series and got it into my head that I wanted to do game design for a living. I'd never seriously attempted it nor did I know exactly what it entailed, but how hard could it be? I gamed!! I had ideas!! I said this to my teacher during a what do you want to be when you grow up talk, and she said, "Oh! My sister works at Ubisoft Singapore. I'll get you an interview."
Emails were exchanged, and someone at the company arranged a "quick chat" with me a couple of weeks later. It was for a QA tester intern position, which I reasoned was sort of like game design. After all, in the Sims 3 it's one rung on the ladder to becoming a game developer. Also I didn't want to anger my teacher. She was quite volatile.
Round 1:
I'd never done a job interview before. I put on a nice blouse and pencil skirt and heels, nervously applied and reapplied makeup which I normally did not wear, and showed up at the office building an hour early. Then as I went up the elevator I realised they never said what room it was. I couldn't very well email to ask now. I'd look like an idiot!! Fuck!! So for an hour, I just skulked around outside various glass doors peering into offices hoping there would be some receptionist around to ask, but there was practically no one there. The email only said "let's have a quick chat at 2pm on x date".
I was about to slink home with my tail between my legs when the interviewer called at the scheduled time. It was a phone interview!!!!! He didn't say that!!!!! I found a dingy secluded stairwell. As if to taunt me, one of the first questions he asked was "have you ever been to the building?"
Me, through gritted teeth: yeah! actually I'm here right now, haha... to scope it out, you know... get a lay of the land..... it's really big... Lots of glass walls...
Him: oh that's nice.
I don't remember most of the questions, but I do know he asked me what my favourite games were. I said Undertale and Life is Strange (they had come out that year), but he'd never heard of them. Maybe I should've said Far Cry or something but what if he quizzed me on it?
Round 2:
I should not have made it to this round. I was coasting entirely on the goodwill of my teacher's sister, who was high up the chain. She interviewed me next. I think her only question was whether I would be okay working long gruelling hours with little support and no overtime.
Me, blissfully unaware of crunch culture being a massive human rights issue in the industry: bring it on!!
Her: what? 🤨
Then she ushered me into a room to take a pencil and paper test. While waiting earlier, I'd frantically googled and memorised a bunch of Ubisoft games, so I could answer the one asking me to list eight of them. I figured I could have gotten away with saying Assassin's Creed and adding a random number to the back though.
The biggest problem was on the other side of the paper: a diagram of a gaming controller asking me to label the buttons. Here's the thing. I'm a PC gamer. Always have been. At the time, my only experience with console gaming was playing Little Big Planet with my best friend when I was twelve, at her house. And I wasn't very good at it! I think I fundamentally lack the hand-eye coordination for console gaming, but that's just a guess because I can count on one hand the number of times I've ever used a controller. And I can count on one hand the number of controllers I have in that hand! It's zero! I knew the wiggly antennae were for movement and the buttons on the sides did esoteric things that people will yell at you to press during crucial moments, but that was it. I ended up labelling the buttons the shapes they were (circle button, triangle button, square button etc).
The interviewer came back into the room after about 15 minutes and said I now had an hour to play an unfinished level of Assassin's Creed, identify as many bugs as possible, and record them on a spreadsheet. And even though she set me up at a computer monitor, I still had to use a controller. Are you kidding me! This was the Victorian era Assassin's Creed. I had never played any AC games before, so I didn't know what were bugs and what were features. Was "can't jump" a bug? Was "invisible wall surrounding staircases"? What was the format and lingo you were supposed to use when recording bugs? I made no progress towards the quest at all (I did not understand it or who my character was), just wandered around and wrote down things I noticed and didn't like until time was up.
Anyway, that's the tale of how I didn't get a job I was woefully unprepared and underqualified for and in retrospect didn't want all that much. Maybe what I really wanted was to be... was Ayn Rand.
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0pooleart · 17 days ago
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Sonic Redesign Masterpost
One thing I've always passively thought about the Sonic franchise is that it's great, but also always felt just a bit short of perfection in a bunch of random aspects (mostly some character designs and some stories). Around like late August of 2024 I sketched out some redesigns for some of the main Sonic characters, and I quickly realized that I kinda physically had to not only redesign like, all vaguely notable characters from across the entire franchise (not just the games) but I also really wanted to rewrite a ton of stories, so I just like, did, you know? I'm basically obsessed now so here's a giant masterpost that's more about the thoughts behind my redesigns than just the images. Don't expect this to be super organized and fun to read lol
(and I can feel the hyperfixation dying down so I really should just get this out there)
Also, if you'd rather read it in the form of a Google Doc, here's the link to that: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VvXMzQ2kr7HrqmUd0Z7Aa9xCprUZ1ojm5cD8lcAEjbQ/edit?usp=sharing
First things first, for one, Mobius and Earth are two distinct planets, and Mobians are one set species. I didn't think that was a crazy idea until I actually watched a video detailing how current Sonic treats the setting but yeah, I really want them to just be completely different planets.
Origins
Anyway, the main draw for rewriting most Sonic stories was the fact that he doesn't really have a canon origin in the main series games (yet?) so I felt the need to give him one, and a more discrete timeline. However, everything starts with Eggman (and this is a heavily truncated version):
Robotnik enters Mobius via a Ring portal (similar to how the movies portray them), but he's instead a skinny, charming young man (similar again to Jim Carrey's Eggman in the movies, a drawing of him is further down). At first he pitches his little, cutesy animal inventions to the Mobian public, and they actually like them quite a lot. He's not without an ulterior motive though, and as his inventions get more and more popular, he actually hires some Mobians to help produce them. He begins building his business over the years, using the unique powers Mobians have to boost production. He even gives some of his workers their own homes built up with his technology, but he starts using this as a way to control them, since he basically can take away their whole lives if he so chooses. As he keeps building and building, he steals more and more resources from Mobius, and he builds over the Mobian city he started in (haven't really specified what it was yet), slowly making it his own over time. The only place he knows he shouldn't touch (just to stay in the good graces of Mobians) is Green Hill, a place that's sort of sacred, but more sacred in the way art is sacred, since it's a place hand built by ancient Mobians to be a wild place for them to roam free. Time passes Robotnik has been fattened up by his personal chef/baker Vanilla, and he's settled into being in control of so much of Mobius.
It's around this time when Sonic is born into the factory (of course given the canon name Ogilvie at first). He's taken away from his parents, whoever they are, immediately, and is put to work as soon as he's able to push a button. As he grows up, he's obviously too restless to do something so sterile, so he's put to work on the hamster wheels that power the Robotnik Empire. He never even thinks there's anything special out for him in the world, but eventually he, like the other workers, is given his semi-yearly vacation to the Green Hill, where they can recover their will to live. However, Ogilvie is so completely overrun with joy that he just runs off, never to return to the factory again. Eventually, of course, he changes his name to Sonic to fit his new life of just running around Green Hill.
Robotnik catches wind of there being a deserter, and decides to set out his robots, who secretly had battle functions all this time, into Green Hill to catch him. This is essentially where the first game would begin, just Sonic running around destroying Robotnik's robots as they come at him. However, Robotnik has a second in command: A young, two-tailed fox who he found outcast on the streets, who had a surprising knack for machines, something he didn't see in many other Mobians. He was named Miles Prower, and he grew up working for the one person who didn't ostracize him for his tails or his skills. He was only around 12 when Sonic, approx 16, escaped, and he was tasked with leading some of their more sophisticated creations into battle. 
Robotnik came along too with his own weapons, but they were both completely outmatched by Sonic's unbridled confidence and cockiness. Robotnik tore out what hair he had in anger, and of course that's when Sonic taunted him with his new nickname Eggman. Since Miles was there too, and he felt like he was on a roll, he called Miles "Tails," but Miles' reaction was much more ashamed than he expected, so he felt a bit off about that one. After the fight, Miles was repairing the machine Sonic destroyed, but he found him and met him on more even terms, and tried to convince him that there's probably a much better life for him out with him. He wasn't totally convinced yet, and couldn't exactly just defect from Robotnik like Sonic did, so Sonic left him be for now.
This is the general part where I start writing too many fine details, so basically Miles slowly starts enjoying himself more and more fighting Sonic and meeting him after the fight. He even adopts the "Tails" nickname for himself on the card of a present he drops off for Sonic, which was his much more durable and iconic sneakers. He finally breaks away from Eggman completely during an aerial assault on Sonic, where he prepared some supplies in the plane he was set to pilot, so he could take it away with him. He even was able to use some scrap from the battle to build a workshop for himself to live and work while Sonic still mostly just roamed free. This is around the point where the second game would start, since Tails has joined the cast and they can both battle Eggman together. If this were to be a game, I'd want Tails to be in the cockpit of each boss in the first game, so it helps set up his inclusion in the second, but obviously this is just a random floating idea for now. This isn't meant to be a concrete game/comic/animation/whatever.
But, that sets up most of the future events, even though there are some major stories to come, so on to the designs themselves:
As for overall Mobian redesigns, I always thought their giant ass hands and feet sometimes got in the way of their expressiveness, if they didn't just look kinda doofy (especially with characters like Knuckles) so the generic "Mobian" template has a smaller head, feet, and hands, and has a generally longer torso. Basically they just have slightly more """realistic""" proportions even though they're still obviously cartoony, just more realistic on the spectrum compared to the canon designs. And, since they're all one species, that means they evolved over time to match some of the animals around them, like a macro-evolution version of how Chao take on animal traits. That also means that the animal parts of their names are more like tribe affiliations, since they aren't actually the animals they say they are. For example, Knuckles the Echidna isn't an echidna in the species sense, he'd just call himself that to show he's affiliated with the Echidna tribe, and more generally that his people took on traits of the local echidna-echidnas. Meanwhile, characters like Tails/Miles Prower have a more family-based last name and a nickname for reasons I'll get into later. Also aside from that, I wanted characters that are Reptiles and Insects (Espio and Charmy mainly) to seem more unique from the mammals, so they look more distinct. And even the mammals look more animalistic in general, with longer snouts, getting rid of that weirdly detached muzzle thing most Mobian characters seem to have. Characters that are like Cats and Rabbits don't end up changing much since they aren't known for having long snouts anyway.
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Sonic
Sonic was obviously the first one I tried redesigning so his design went through a bunch of changes, but the first thing I dealt with with him was his stupid conjoined eye thing. Obviously in that classic CD animation everyone loves it works out because its super stylized and simple, and all the current Mania versions of him make it work too, but it's really hard to unsee now in his modern designs. It's obviously meant to be like a Garfield type of thing, where it's just a cartoony way of having two eyes close together, but nowadays it really feels more like a Lightning McQueen type of eye windshield. If every Mobian had that then I'd keep it and just call it a stylistic thing, but no, only Hedgehogs have them, so... At first I tried representing that by making him have some kind of goggles to protect his eyes from the wind as he runs, but I couldn't get that to work, so I just split his eyes up. In his goggles-form I gave him this black brim to the goggles to kind of mirror Shadow's random red eye splotch he has, and since I liked that enough I kept a small bit of it in the current design. I also gave him some kind of double-sock type thing going on with much more athletic-seeming stuff to go under his more fluffy socks and gloves, which didn't feel all that necessary until I removed them at some point, and that just made him feel extra naked somehow. I do like them though. And, of course, he's actually wearing rings.
Aside from that, I kinda inadvertently made him look a lot like his Movie version, with his extra frazzled quills and blue arms and such. I definitely feel like he benefits from being extra sharp, so I added a bunch of spikes to things like his chest and shoulders. Even though it's not really important to mention I might as well, but the weird thing I think about his arms is that his normal Game design does basically need tan arms, but I actually think overall there's no reason not to give him blue arms in a form like this. It just makes sense.
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Tails
Tails is mostly unchanged, just making his face fur blend more smoothly into his face instead of just being solo hairs glued on. His chest fur is more like a ball of fluff focused more around his actual chest, instead of just being a flat pattern on his stomach. I also gave him bigger ears for a bit of fennec energy, and a red scarf so his red shoes aren't the only red on his design. Aside from that, it's all just restylization, like making his tails extra fluffy.
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Eggman (and Miles)
I'm still torn on what I want Eggman to truly look like. At first I wanted him to look a bit more like his SatAM-style version, with really short legs and a big fat belly, but then after seeing more and more fanart of him I tried to give him back his weirdly scrawny legs. No matter what though, he needed to have a giant coat with a massive collar to show his impression of himself. Also, I will always want to preserve his iconic smile, where his big toothy grin is basically glued to his mustache. That's pure Eggman.
And of course there's pre-Sonic Tails there too, with his fur very organized and clean, and with a much more grim demeanor. I also thought his tails would also be a lot less fluffy, and he kind of wraps them together like how a person wrings their hands together when they feel shy or awkward, showing how he hasn't fully embraced his mutation yet.
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This is a quick little sketch I did of younger, thinner, and less bald Eggman when he first enters Mobius. 
After them, there are some characters that'd just be appearing around this point in the story, so here they are:
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Amy… the Cat?
So for the longest time, I legitimately believed Amy was a cat, so I decided to make her a cat. It's that simple. She never really looked like a hedgehog, anyway. Plus, I do want to keep the main group as being Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy, so it'd be nice if they were all different "species." Aside from that, I just made her former quills look like much more fluffy and soft hair, and gave her long sleeves just because this drawing convinced me it was a good idea. However, I did do a quick sketch to see how she would look if I kept her a Hedgehog, and in that one I took away the long sleeves since I thought that would be annoying with her chest/shoulder quills.
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As for how she meets Sonic, she's working under Eggman as a blacksmith when Eggman starts going berserk over actually losing both a devoted worker and his right-hand fox. He puts up signs everywhere asking for people to enlist into an army with the sole purpose to capture him, but Amy is instead just smitten with this rebellious hunk she's just now heard of. She joins Eggman's forces, but breaks off on her own to join him. He's super willing to let anyone join, but since Tails knew how devoted to Eggman some Mobians could be, he thinks she's a spy at first. Over time, though, she proves herself, even if she can't quite catch up to Sonic.
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Cream, Cheese, and Vanilla
Cream was always perfect, but I really hated that Vanilla was basically just a taller copy of Cream, so I tried to give her her own identity. Also since they're all named after food I decided to specifically make Vanilla a baker/chef, which also meant I could turn the one tuft of hair on her head onto an ice cream-y dollop. And even though that was decided before I decided to make Eggman start off skinny, it also meant that I could make her a pretty major part of Eggman's life, being the one who makes desserts so good he just couldn't help himself. Even though Eggman definitely loves stomping on the hopes and dreams of Mobians, he's actually quite fond of Vanilla (not in that way, thank god) and tolerates Cream. As for Cheese, I had this big idea of how to redesign all Chao mechanics a while ago, and one such idea was to have Luck and Intelligence forms of Chao just like the other stats, and I decided to make Cheese a Neutral/Luck Chao just before he evolves into his main adult evolution, since he's lucky to have Cream by his side. Literally. He's only with her because Eggman was experimenting with Chao, and Cream caught him in the act, and he tried to save face by giving her Cheese as a gift, which definitely took him off her radar. 
But, also, since when do rabbits only have one kid?
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They're just rough ideas for now (except for Milk and Sugar for reasons) (and I also thought of there being a baby Butter as well but I can't be assed to save a new version of the sketch). Even though it doesn't make sense for each kid to be a different age, since rabbits more so have large litters, I just think this is more fun from a design perspective. Also, Vanilla having so many kids to worry about makes it more reasonable why she's so beholden to Eggman. She definitely can't just get up and leave when she has to worry about all of them. 
As for how Cream meets Sonic, I literally have a whole animated short planned out in my head because, if you couldn't tell, she's easily one of my favorite Sonic characters, but the gist is that once Eggman "gifts" her Cheese, Cheese starts drawing crude drawings depicting how Eggman treated him and other Chao. Cream slowly catches on to Eggman's evil in her own oblivious little way, and eventually just… walks out. Much to Vanilla's dismay. As she leaves though, Vanilla basically snaps from her goodie-goodie persona and practically holds a knife to Eggman's throat, telling him if any robot ever harms Cream while she's out there, "so help me god…" He relents as much as he can. Meanwhile, Cream just keeps walking to Green Hill. Tails notices her as he's flying the Tornado, and picks her up. She's a little disappointed that everyone's basically just living in the wild or Tails' crude workshop, but they try to make due for her pampered little self.
After that comes the first big story since the Origin/random extra happenings. 
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Knuckles
Honestly I feel like Knuckles has to be one of my top redesigns. I definitely needed him to look more buff and big compared to Sonic, but not quite to the level of Boom Knuckles, and I think I really nailed it. Not only that, but making his coat and "skin" color darker just works so well. And, of course, with the dread-bands/paint of his tribe. Him just looking so much more square also just fits so well.
Knuckles starts off as usual guarding the Master Emerald all alone on Angel Island, but soon Eggman visits him without any armada, reading about the Chaos Emerald's power and finally wanting to use it to stop Sonic. He does his usual schtick of convincing Knuckles that Sonic is the real threat, and since Knuckles was so isolated he didn't even know who Eggman was, and joins him to stop Sonic. 
However, Tails isn't stupid, and keeps a solid ear to what Eggman is doing, and hears about his plan to take the Chaos Emeralds, so he and the others set out on a world-sprawling journey to get the Emeralds before he does. However, they aren't the only ones looking for treasure…
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Rouge
Technically I redesigned Rouge first out of everyone, but for other reasons than the franchise-wide redesign. This is basically an adaptation of that. Similar to Amy, whose design was cursed by Girl-Character-Syndrome, I also wanted to fix up Rouge by going where no anthro female character has gone before… giving her a bare crotch. Crazy. The boys can run around stark naked while the girls can't not wear full body clothing, so someone had to pick up the slack. She at least has her top covered, but that's mainly because I'm kind of a sucker for her heart-boob thing. I really can't deny it. Oh yeah and the heart motif continues into her nose, because she's a bat, of course it would. Bats literally have heart-shaped noses but they didn't bother even giving her a tiny heart-shaped nose in canon. AND she even has full body fur, because her being completely bald across her body is even more of a sin to me than forcing her to wear full body clothing. Anyway, she's got dark skin too, because obviously, and I tried making her arms her wings at some point but I also wanted her to have normal humanoid hands, and that just didn't mesh well, so she's still got back wings. Aside from all that, I gave her a long index fingernail on her glove for lockpicking purposes or whatever, it just seemed like a weirdly fitting thing for a character once called Nails.
Anyway, Sonic and co stumble upon Rouge who had the same goal as they did, but of course with a different motive, although she promises to play nice and help them find the Emeralds (until she betrays them once they have them all)
At every Emerald, each situated in a different biome, they encounter Knuckles, who uses the elemental power of each Emerald to fight Sonic, although Sonic is usually able to snatch the Emerald away from him and make away with it. After every fight, Knuckles is more and more sure that Sonic is a threat, but once Sonic and co actually have them all, and find the Master Emerald too, Eggman is the one to make the first move, and snatches them away all at once to power the giant mech he built behind the scenes just for the Emeralds. Everyone teams up to steal back the Emeralds again, and Sonic feels a strange power inside of them and the Master Emerald. He asks Knuckles what it could be, and he says the Master Emerald must have determined that he should be granted their ultimate power. Sonic seems stoked, but Knuckles is seriously worried, thinking back to the tales his people told him of what happened last time… but thankfully this time, Sonic just turns an electric yellow, beats Eggman's mech to a pulp, and turns back to normal once the deed is done. Knuckles is a bit shocked, but relieved.
With all threats neutralized, Knuckles accepts that he was wrong, and makes amends, but he stays with the Master Emerald. Rouge goes off on her own again, too.
It's at this point, while still on Mobius, some other characters probably emerge. This could happen either after or during the previous events.
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Sally Acorn
Even though I don't have much personal nostalgia for Sally, she used to be such a big deal that I couldn't NOT add her to the roster. Like Amy, I also got her species wrong, since I thought she was a squirrel and they just didn't have the guts to give her a big, bushy tail, but I was remiss to hear that she was actually a chipmunk, meaning her redesign couldn't have that amazing tail… but chipmunks do have pretty iconic patterns, so I made sure to include that in her hair. Apart from that, you can see all the changes. I imagined her home town being smaller, and even though she could be the daughter of her town's mayor, she wouldn't be a princess. I never really got princess vibes from her. Oh yeah, and she's still smol, like how she was always drawn in her original era. She can make up for it with her spunk. She would also have her own Speed/Fly/Power dynamic with Ray and Mighty, who are also still smol.
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Bunnie Rabbot
I basically just mish-mashed all the parts of Bunnie's various designs that I liked, but the main part of her is her new story. She basically lives in this classic Western-style town held under Eggman's boot, and she's hired as an outlaw to catch Sonic, where she was given robotic enhancements both to give her extra power but also so Eggman could more directly control her. She's also the "bawss" of Fang and Trip, other outlaws hired by Eggman. Even though she doesn't personally hate Sonic, she needs to do what Eggman says, or else she knows he'll wreak havoc on her town. No amount of speeches about friendship and being a good person could turn her.
After all those events, the next stage of the story begins, where at some point Sonic goes Super to fight Eggman, but Eggman was ready. He manages to suck the Emerald power right out of him to power his ultimate plan--- the thing he more or less planned on doing from the moment he stepped foot on Mobius. However, the damage Sonic and co did to his plans during that time caused it to go haywire, sending giant white explosions shooting across the entire planet of Mobius. Practically every Mobian was transported to Earth, Sonic X style. And not just the people, but massive chunks of the planet too had warped on to Earth, practically fusing the two planets together.
But of course that opens up too many stories so time for a rapid-fire design overview lol
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Chaos & Tikal
Obviously the events of Adventure would be next, but for the most part Tikal's design is just updated to match the new Knuckles. With Chaos however, I slightly changed his story to make it so that he mutated from a Chao for when he first turned into Perfect Chaos and destroyed the Echidna clan, and obviously making it so that he used to be a Neutral Chaos Chao. I also have a whole animated short mentally planned out of that moment which I'd kill to create. After the events of Adventure though, instead of like getting dragged off to Heaven or whatever Chaos is instead gifted just a little bit of power from the Master Emerald so that he could maintain a more solid form than his 0 form so he could live alongside people (as much as a water monster can), and in this form (which I'm calling Controlled Chaos) he looks more like a Chaos Chao and of course he also has an emotion ball, which the Chao quickly recognize and accept him in with them. I also like to think he could replace the role of Gemerl from the comics, where he is the superpowered being that helps protect Cream and her family (although clearly Vanilla is a bit more hesitant)
As for the events of the Adventure story itself, it's mostly the same, except for the fact that Knuckles wasn't at the Emerald when Eggman broke it open because he was slacking off alongside Sonic, which he beats himself up about before realizing the Emerald can be repaired. Also, with their Master destroyed, the Chaos Emeralds actually turn into chaotic masses of power that greatly affect the areas around them, making them more dangerous to obtain for Sonic and co. For example, maybe Ice Cap wasn't really that icy, but the Emerald Sonic was to get from there turned whatever it was before into a frigid mess. Maybe it would also spawn some sort of boss for them to fight to protect itself.
Also, here's Big. He's mostly the same except I wanted him to look more wild and unkempt. I also made it so he actually has a giant mouth, because in all his modern forms I honestly think his really tiny mouth looks super weird. 
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Oh yeah and I guess one major thing I changed about all Mobians, they actually have feet and not just weird nubs. Really expanding the boundaries of design.
I also have ideas for Gamma and Omega from here, but it mostly boils down to Gamma actually having more personal interactions with the main cast, and once his story finishes and he explodes, Eggman laments that his best creation was going to waste, so he decided to rebuild him… but with less empathy. This backfires when the new Omega is disgusted by Eggman's method of just rebuilding him, and lashes out, going off to join the cause against him.
Then, for Adventure 2…
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Shadow
For the most part, I just updated him to match Sonic's design, and gave him cooler gloves/shoes, but the main change is that I want him to feel more like a crazy genetic experiment. For one, you can see that he actually has gills similar to those of the Biolizard in his base form, probably just to help him take in more air/energy so he is less likely to tire, but more importantly I want his inhibitor rings to essentially be holding in the Doom powers he gets in Shadow Generations. When he takes them off, he basically becomes a darker shapeshifting mass that can barely hold himself together, instead of just becoming an objectively more powerful version of himself like in his canon form. It also makes more sense, since Gerald probably made those rings as he was ashamed that he had to resort to giving him Black Doom's DNA, and so that he could interact with Maria without hurting her.
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The other big change is to Maria herself, who I wanted to be as goth as Shadow is, with her being more of the rambunctious goth type than an emo goth. I was always kind of annoyed at how generic anime-UwU precious babey Maria always was (even though she was greatly improved in Shadow Generations and Movie 3) so I thought making her have a more fun/imperfect personality would be more interesting, and would be more impactful during the Ark raid where she turns from a full-nonsense personality to someone who's actually afraid and desperate. I don't really have a solid visual design for her right now, but I've had a couple of iterations. I kind of want her to look less assured than she does here
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Team Chaotix
You have NO IDEA how much I needed to change Charmy and Espio. Charmy looked like a weird cat/bear with a bee tail and Espio looked like some completely unrecognizable animal, even though you might be able to at least assume he's a chameleon if you knew his powers. 
For Charmy, I just needed to give him big bulging black eyes, a jagged mouth, and another set of arms to really show that he's an insect. If nothing else, it at least makes it obvious that he can't be anything BUT an insect. As for Espio, I decided that I could give reptilian Mobians various scales on their body instead of the mammals' chest coloring or whatever. I also gave him a more unique head shape and that weird fin thing which is much more chameleon-iconic than what he had before, and even gave him that wrinkly eyelid thing they have, while still giving him a more humanized expression.
As for Vector, since he was the rare Mobian who had an actually unique body type and head design, he stayed mostly the same. He's the main reason why I know the character designers at Sonic Team aren't ALWAYS copy-pasting their body types. I did have to change his outfit, mostly just to get rid of his weird shoulder-ball things which never will make any sense. What even are they?
Now, for the biggun
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Blaze
Oooohh my god Blaze. When I was first thinking about adding her to the roster, I liked her a decent amount but didn't think about her too much. I did know that I wasn't going to change much about her design since it was already pretty much perfect, I just added more gold to her and made her ponytail more like a flame than her canon design, which looked more like feathers of some sort to me. I then just updated her tail to match the style.
What really changed was when I completely rewrote her story. I always thought it was so weird that they made her so special and weird, being a fire-bending princess from another dimension, but they barely went into fine detail about her, like, AT ALL. It doesn't seem like there's anything special about the Sol Dimension, aside from the Sol Emeralds, and her actual role as a princess is never really touched on at all besides her living in a castle as depicted in the comics, AND worst of all she's just sort of… born with fire bending powers? That's crazy even for Sonic characters. I mean I'll accept it but still, I feel like there should be something there. And it's also crazy that all of this was introduced in Sonic Rush, which, let's be real, has the most non-story there could be in a Sonic game. Nothing interesting and unique really happens in it. At least Rush Adventure did something new, but still. She deserves better
So anyway I changed practically every detail and am mentally organizing the full story, but the gist of it is essentially that 06 is now her debut game, and everything regarding Soleanna now involves her instead of Elise and all takes place in the Sol Dimension. You'd think it would be a little on the nose to make Soleanna a location in the Sol Dimension, but they didn't even bother to make that a thing. Same goes for Solaris. It feels so obvious, like it was meant to be that way in a beta form. On top of that, though, since she replaces Elise you can probably guess that she actually derives her fire bending power from Iblis, which is actually a power passed down in her family ever since Iblis and Mephiles were sealed. And, since she's clearly in more of a position of power than Elise, she can actually be the third in the 06 main character group instead of Shadow, since he gets enough attention elsewhere. 
As the story goes on and she realizes she has a flaming hellbeast inside of her, her sheer confidence gets broken and then regained thanks to Sonic supporting her. Maybe also includes a relationship with Amy because I can't help myself. Apart from that, there are so many details and story beats I'd love to share but really that would be a whole document all on its own. I'm surprisingly close to being able to write basically a whole movie script's worth on this thing.
But yeah every single detail I added to her story has now retroactively made her one of my all-time favorite Sonic characters, tied with Cream and Chaos. I basically freak out whenever she does literally anything, I'm kind of obsessed.
Also since the role of princess suggests there's a queen (unless you live in Equestria), here's the Queen of Soleanna
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Silver
Now of course, ANOTHER peak redesign. I really think Silver specifically is the biggest upgrade out of everyone. I really needed him to look more weird and futuristic, making his whole body actually silvery instead of just kind of white, and making his clothes black to make his glowy tech bits more stark. I even turned his quills into flowing hair, just because. I like to think he's one of those characters that's unimaginably handsome without any effort, even though he doesn't realize it. 
Story-wise he doesn't change much, except of course since Blaze is doing her own thing, he's completely alone fighting to protect his future, which personally really helps show his character. He's the type to fight to his dying breath even if he knows he can't win, just so he can protect as many people as he can. I also think he's still the type who would take a can out from the bottom of those can pyramids in a cartoon supermarket, only to freak out when the whole pyramid topples down. He's a devoted warrior who, in low-stakes scenarios, is still kind of a lovable loser.
Except he wasn't always alone. He's the last remaining member of the Crested Knights (or whatever I want to call them), a genetically engineered and cybernetically enhanced army of people made to quell Mephiles and Iblis as much as possible in the future. The second-to-last, his mentor Steel the Wolf, fell in battle with him, so he vows to keep fighting for him. Personally I think Silver having a deep personal attachment to someone in this way really makes him feel more loving and empathetic, which makes his goofy sides much more charming. I imagine him sharing stories of their past together over a campfire while Sonic and Blaze listen intently.
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Also just because Blaze gets her own special super form because of the Sol Emeralds, I thought since the Chaos Emeralds are said to grant wishes, each individual who gets their power has a different "super" form. If we get Super Sonic and Burning Blaze, then we can also get Psychic Silver (it's still alliteration) where his psychokinetic abilities go haywire and his senses basically become perfect. 
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Forces
The one thing I realized I didn't like about the IDW comics is that Amy was barking out commands like she was some seasoned war hero (which she kind of was) in her cutesy old Adventure dress, so that made me think that I should give her and everyone else their own special outfits for the Forces section of the story. Also, since the story of Forces is practically the same as SatAM aside from Sonic being involved, I made the Freedom Fighters become a part of this story, which are their own little task force. That also includes Nicole, who now actually looks like a holographic projection instead of just some random Mobian, although I might eventually design a more corporeal form for her. And, since Forces is one of those games where you realize they just didn't want to include humans for some reason, I decided to give Topaz from Sonic X a spot alongside Rouge in the Resistance. She'd still start off as a cop that Rouge enjoys ""messing"" with, but then once Eggman starts taking over she joins the forces against him. And since the IDW comics are practically a part of Forces' story, Lanolin can also be here, who I made chubbier since sheep always have a chubby aura. Tangle is there too but she's completely unchanged since she's already perfect. Same would go for Whisper but I haven't drawn her yet. And really the same goes for pretty much every other IDW character, since their designs are some of the best in the series imo.
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The Ancients
I really thought the Ancients needed to look more alien and weird, and I wanted to give them clothes to mimic that of their tech. I also thought that the Koco could instead be their true brains/bodies, and the gel is another part of their tech. 
The main thing of their story is that I want them to be the origin of all Mobians and Chao. When they fled from The End to Mobius, after the big fight The End broke their bodies and brains, destroying the rocky shell around their true bodies, and making them back to being nearly animalistic. However, over time their malleable bodies evolved over time, some turning into the more capable and intelligent Mobians, while those that ended up in more protected areas didn't change quite as much and became the Chao, still being pretty soft and helpless. However, I also thought that the branch of them that fled to Mobius surely couldn't have been the ENTIRE species, so the other branches that fled away from The End ended up evolving into the species of the Black Arms and the Wisps. The Black Arms being a people who use more meaty, grotesque technology, and with the Wisps tending to use more abstract, colorful technology, assuming they use any at all, since they decided to live more naturalistically, even with their core bodies living outside of any other tech. This essentially makes Shadow the Hedgehog (the game) and Colors parallel stories, where they deal with the offshoots of the Ancients. If you couldn't tell, I also made them have traits of the Dark and Hero Chaos Chao, with Black Doom having the flame orbs above his head, and Mother Wisp having the halos and the head protrusions of the Hero Chaos Chao. They each also have cores similar to the Koco, with Doom's Eye essentially being his core, and the Wisps themselves each being a core, but with the Mother Wisp having a bigger body her core goes into. 
Those are all the major designs, but of course that isn't even it. For example, Some other characters that exist in my redesign are Sonia and Manic (fans of Sonic who hype him up in battle with music), Bokkun (mostly unchanged), Metal Sonic (just looks cooler), Sage (who I redesigned but honestly might not keep), Cosmo and the Metarex (both made a bit more alien), the Zeti (the Deadly Six and others of the species), and a whole redesign of Secret Rings and Black Knight which features even more stories like Peter Pan and Journey to the West. I could basically go on and on about it all but I have to stop somewhere lol
Thanks for indulging me
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incorrect-mtg · 7 months ago
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The Warlord and the Artificer
There's a saying among the Keldon, that a friendship is only true when it is forged in the fires of battle.
Radha would argue that Venser was never a warrior, so his contributions in battle were laughable, but saving the multiverse together should count for something.
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That is why when he arrives severely injured on Keld, almost a decade after the mending, she orders her people to take care of him as they would herself, clearing a room for him to use and affording him the best healers Keld and Skyshroud could provide.
It takes him 3 days to heal enough for a coherent conversation, which is good enough for her to demand an explanation of what happened to him and what led him to Keld in the first place. The answer involved places and people she didn't know — from another plane entirely — but boiled down to Venser being unprepared for an ambush and almost getting himself killed, then not knowing where to go for help.
"So" she says, when he's done "your best plan was to seek charity from Keldons?"
"Well, it was more seeking charity from a friend, but yes" is his reply
Her answer is to snort and roll her eyes, before leaving the artificer to finish healing. Unlike him, she has a nation to wrangle together.
When he fully recovers days later, she does make sure to tell him he can come back, if he gets himself almost killed again in the future. Venser apparently takes that as a general invitation, showing up every few months to supposedly recover from his planeswalking mishaps or the miasmic atmosphere of his workshop in Urborg.
At some point the room he had first stayed him becomes HIS room, filled with random trinkets.
His stays are always short: it hadn't taken them long to realize that, no matter how much respect they might have held for one another, their personalities were just incompatible enough that they would inevitably find the other grating when interacting for long enough. Usually this would end with her calling him some variation of a "machine-obsessed coward" or him calling her a "battle-obsessed brute" and things descending into almost (or sometimes actual) violence.
So Venser would come, they annoy each other, he'd go away, rinse and repeat. One would think the constant annoyance would lead to her kicking him out for good. And yet…
One thing she is sorely lacking in her quest to rebuild her home is perspective. There is wisdom in both Keld and Skyshroud, but not the kind she needs to build a nation. Venser is the type of man who might not know everything, but who will voluntarily think and research in a way that would have her wanting to punch down a wall. Moreover, he's from Urborg, a place where people make a life out of scraps and gumption, exactly what Keld needs.
For his part, Venser seems happy to share all he knows freely, be it obtained in his workshop or on any of the many planes he keeps visiting and bringing back souvenirs from to decorate his room. As the years pass he even decides to teach her people directly, showing them how to build machines for farming and manufacturing and put to use the many scraps of phyrexian machinery that litter the land. It is the kind of knowledge that can truly change their lives, that means less people go hungry in winter, if any at all.
As for how she repays him, well…
"Training for the newest recruits will start tomorrow," she tells him one day "you should join in. My healers are tired of patching you up from your interplanar adventures."
"You want me to train… With a bunch of hotheaded Keldon kids" is his incredulous reply "You do see the problem in that, right? At best they'll laugh at me."
"You're a foreigner, they'll assume your lack of training is due to that. Also you don't look much olderthan them, which I've been meaning to ask about. What's up with that?"
"Exposure to the time rifts?" he says, shrugging. Her guess is as good as his, but it is undeniable that something is up with his aging. She is a a half-elf keldon and yet Venser doesn't look any older than her, despite the fact he should look like the human adult he actually is.
Regardless, she won't take no for an answer and the next few months see him going through all of the battle training anyone she calls a friend should have. The fact that the number of times he arrives in Keld injured drastically decreases afterwards only serve to validate her.
Things settle into a routine afterwards with her consolidating her position as "de facto" ruler of Keld ("maybe if I can sit you down long enough to write a proper legal code you can be de jure as well!") and gradually unmaking and remaking centuries of Keldon traditions into something new with Venser's help and constant planeswalking anecdotes ("Youd love Zendikar. Its like if a plane had your temperament"). Sure, they're a weird pair of friends, the keldon warlord and the ageless artificer. But she appreciates his wisdom and he's probably annoyed everyone else who'd listen to his tales.
Then one day he arrives from Urborg with a look on his face she knows means he either has a genius idea or a stupid one. The kind of look that means he's better left alone until he's thought his way through it and either decided on something or came to her for her perspective.
"Do you ever think about Karn?" he asks her, a day after arriving. "how he told us not follow him, all those years ago?"
"Not really" is her reply "I couldn't follow him even if I wanted to, why would I care?"
"But don't you ever wonder where he went? If he's still alive, even?"
She shrugs "He told us not to follow him. If he wanted help, he'd have asked for it."
"But what if he needed help? Or got himself into something he couldn't deal with?"
"Then that's on him, Venser" she says, the topic already irritating her "If I went out and told my people to not follow me, it means I don't want help. If I got myself killed that's on me, but if someone went after me when I told them not to I'd rip them a new one! Now, why are you thinking about this? We haven't thought about Karn in decades, what brought this on?"
He's quiet for a moment, before sighing and finally explaining "Some planeswalkers found me in my workshop. They want me to go with them to Mirrodin- that's Karn's plane" he explains when she gives him a questioning look "apparently it's been taken over by Phyrexians. I assume that's why Karn was so alarmed in the first place."
There's only thing to say to apossible return of Phyrexia.
"Shit."
"Yeah… They think I can help, somehow, and I got the impressioneither I go with them or get very far away to shake them off."
"Huh… Ok. So, you going?"
"Wha- Radha, if they're right, this would be like planeswalking directly to phyrexia! It would be suicide!"
"Maybe. Would be dangerous for sure. So, you're not going?"
"I don't know! If they're right, then Karn might have been caught by them. He might be dead" he says, now rubbing his temples "or he might need help, and nobody knows."
"Look, this is going nowhere" she says, thinking she might soon get a headache of her own "so Karn might be in trouble. Or maybe he's dead. You want to go and check. So go, what's the issue?"
"It's not that simple, Radha!" He replies, almost shouting.
"Yes. It. Is. What's so complex about it?!" she answers in kind.
"Not everyone is a suicidal keldon! I. Could. Die! Probably will, if I go!"
"Then make sure to die gloriously while taking down a legion of phyrexian horrors, Venser! If you want to do something, do it. If there are consequences, face them. If there's a cost, pay it. That's all there is to it. If you think Karn might need help, then sitting here complaining about it won't save him. If you think he's dead, either let it go or avenge him. End of story!"
As she ends her impromptu speech, she sees he's barely containing his anger. Good, if he punches first she might as well knock some sense into his stubborn head.
"Fine!" he finally replies "I'm going. If I come back I'll make sure to bring you the head of a negator or something. If I don't, get your bards to write a song about how I died gloriously against the ultimate enemy or whatever!" And then he's gone, planeswalking away in an instant.
It's the last time Radha sees him alive.
Radha doesn't have time to wonder about his whereabouts in the years that follow. Be it her ongoing duties as warlord or the resurgence or the Cabal, there is never a time to relax, to focus on the past. Not when people are counting on her.
Keldons learn not to mourn the ships that leave port never to return.
She does wish he would come back, of course. Particularly when she's foolishly captured by the Cabal herself. If he knew he'd probably plan some elaborate rescue just to laugh at her for getting caught in the first place.
When she is actually rescued by the Gatewatch, when she sees Karn among them, she lets herself hope just a bit. When all is done and Belzenlok is defeated and the Gatewatch leaves to handle Nicol Bolas of all things, she asks the golem about Venser.
Coming back to Keld, she takes the time for a funeral, even if there's no corpse. He might not have been born keldon, but he lived among them long enough to count, and what is more keldon than dying against the greatest of all enemies, making sure they lose their prize?
At least he was considerate enough to leave some phyrexians for her. The second phyrexian invasion comes with a wave of sleeper agents and whole new mechanical horrors, and apparently they dedicate a significant portion of their forces just for Keld. She'd be flattered if she wasn't busy unearthing sleeper agents and tearing apart ground soldiers. It takes her people weeks to find their footing and finally clear out the core of Keld and Skyshroud, which is when the enemy deploys their omenpaths, each spewing wholes armies of new enemies.
Leading them is a familiar face, if covered by layers of phyrexian butchery. Most of his body is gone, surrounded by a floating shell whose tendrils move every which way. Even as it appears to send out orders to its soldiers, the face at the center barely moves, like it is nothing more than a blank mask or decoration.
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She has seen far too many familiar faces put to use by phyrexia. Their sleeper agents had sunk deep in Keld before they'd even realized something was wrong. She knows what phyrexian deception looks like.
This isn't deception. This is mockery.
Keldons do not take kindly to mockery.
The cold anger she had been holding onto since the beginning of the invasion heats up into an inferno but, for once, she does not let it down immediately. She's smarter than that: Phyrexia had fought them tooth and nail, but this is not a battle of attrition, it's an overwhelming show of force. A final act to break her and her people, in body and spirit. So she needs to throw all she has back at them.
Rather than roaring at the sky above, she closes her eyes, reaching back to the oldest lessons she had been given. The knowledge of the elves of Skyshroud, of reaching out to nature itself. She calls for the anger in Keld's mountains, and the indignation in Skyshroud's forests. Draws the mana from the leylines themselves to her. It is crude and painful, but good enough for what she needs.
When she finally lets out a war cry, it is with the power of all the earth under her feet. The mana shining so bright it is almost blinding as it spreads from her to each person standing beside her, then everyone already fighting then every non-phyrexian she can reach. As one, they charge.
And at last the phyrexians learn fear.
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jimmycarterghostland · 1 month ago
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I finished my Worm read days ago. I'm going to discuss how I feel about the entire story as a whole here.
Some background: I discovered the web serial Worm years ago. I was either searching for the longest story or was searching for one that was one million words long. Either way, one of those things led me to Worm. Instead of reading it properly, I spoiled a bunch of stuff about it for myself, and would read random scenes out of order. And I would look up Reddit posts about the story. I tried giving it a proper read years back, but didn't get very far.
Months ago, I started that proper beginning-to-end read. A couple of days ago, I finished that read. I read the entirety of Worm. And it was worth it.
Before I started that read, I thought the Travelers were pretty cool. I ended up resenting them during my read. Not only were they rude to Taylor, but the Travelers didn't even like each other. That made it even harder for me to care about them, because they showed no care for anyone else.
Heartbreaker and his children, the Heartbroken, fulfilled this very specific trope of mine that probably doesn't even have a name. I don't know why, but I love it when a fictional male character has a lot of children by different women, making those children have a lot of half-siblings. Thragg from the Invincible comics fulfilled this trope too.
Heartbreaker was a villain I wanted to see a lot more of. He definitely had a lot of potential. I wish Wildbow had given him a bigger role in the story. I don't even think Heartbreaker had any dialogue. I wish Accord had had a bigger role, too, because he was another minor villain I found interesting, but at least Accord still had a decent amount of appearances in the story.
Speaking of Heartbreaker, his two kids Regent and Cherish were interesting. I actually liked Regent a lot. I was surprised that Cherish genuinely hated him and that the feeling was mutual. For a while, I thought that Cherish was going to betray the Slaughterhouse Nine and maybe team up with Regent and develop a friendly bond with him. I wanted that to happen. It didn't happen, though. Cherish ended up getting a fate worse than death. I feel bad for her, to be honest. I wouldn't wish her fate on my worst enemy.
I wish Regent had survived. He was a cool character. RIP.
My favorite character was Tattletale. At first, anyway. I think Taylor was my favorite by the end of the story.
Worm is the only superhero novel I've read. Reading it was nostalgic for me. When I was a kid, I loved reading superhero comics and watching superhero movies. The X-Men comics, movies, etc. is my favorite superhero fiction. Reading Worm fed my childhood obsession with superheroes. In general, people with superpowers forming teams and fighting other people with superpowers is something I love to watch or read. My own web serial, which I'm currently rewriting, has that.
I loved the dialogue in Worm. It was one of my favorite things about it. Those chapters during the final battle, when Taylor couldn't understand English, the lack of dialogue was a pain. Not just because a lack of dialogue can be boring, but also because Wildbow writes dialogue so well. I loved it when the characters in Worm would just talk to each other. And I love how characters tended to have unique vocabulary. Sometimes it fit their personality too, like Skidmark and his love for disgusting, inappropriate speech, because he's a disgusting, inappropriate person.
Something I had a problem with, though: a lot of times it wasn't clear which character was talking, and sometimes it was clear which character was talking but wasn't clear which one they were talking to during a group conversation. All of that happened a lot in Worm. Sometimes a dialogue tag would've been nice, with either a name or a pronoun.
The introspection was great. The inner thoughts of the characters never felt repetitive or anything. Sometimes certain phrases were used too much, like "The object was long as he/she was tall". And there were other repetitive phrases, but the introspection always felt fresh. I never had the impression a character was thinking the same thing took much.
Wildbow uses similes pretty well. I loved his descriptions. Sometimes I would read a sentence or a paragraph and understand exactly what a character was feeling. There was this one part when Taylor describes the terror she felt being like a gun being pointed at her for a long time, with her fear not rising or going down. I wish I could find that paragraph again.
The characters. The characters in Worm were amazing. They were so diverse with their own unique beliefs and motivations. It was realistic. A lot of them felt like real people. And there's some great character development. And because a bunch of the characters repeatedly make appearances throughout the novel, you see a lot of them and they make the book feel realer, and more "lived-in".
Worm is technically a multiple point of view novel. It's mainly told from Taylor's point of view, but it has a bunch of other narrators too. Wildbow is a master of multiple POV, which is also my favorite point of view to read and to write. The narrators in Worm have personalities and beliefs that show in the writing. Wildbow knows how to use introspection to demonstrate that. In the racist Hookwolf's interlude, he refers to Shatterbird as the racist term for her race, because he is racist. His inner thoughts fit his character. A non-racist character in Worm wouldn't have used that term. They would have used the proper word for Shatterbird's race. Hookwolf also has a hatred for cornrows, which is another example of his racism. When I read Hookwolf's interlude, I really got the sense that he was racist. Good job, Wildbow.
Worm has a lot of great instances of "show, don't tell". Like when he describes Leviathan as moving slower, because he's weaker, but Wildbow doesn't explicitly say that Leviathan was getting weaker. I loved that. Sometimes the reader has to figure things out for themself. There were some satisfying instances where Wildbow didn't spell out the obvious. I liked that.
I like how smart the characters were. Fictional characters being hopelessly stupid is something I really hate, but there was none of that in Worm. It was like everyone in this book was smart. Smart characters acting genuinely smart makes fiction more thrilling and fun to read or watch. It was satisfying to read intelligent characters showing actual cleverness. There was none of that "This character is stated to be smart but never does anything smart" nonsense.
One example of a character being genuinely clever in Worm is when Coil asks Dinah the chance of various individuals in their group, including themselves, surviving an upcoming attack, after she says there's a chance she will die in the next half-hour. The percentages is around the same for each of them. Coil does this to see if the attack will be an attack on all of them as a whole. This was clever. Another smart moment is when Taylor deliberately confuses Bonesaw to delay her attempt to get to Taylor's brain(which Taylor doesn't want to happen. Bonesaw is a really bad person). This moment probably wasn't extremely clever, but I think in real life most people would just pointlessly beg the bad guy to stop instead of actively trying to delay them.
Characters in Worm use their powers intelligently during fights, and that's what made reading this novel even more fun. It was intriguing.
I also love the stakes gradually get higher. The most dangerous villain is fought at the end, which is a good thing. Because the final battle in a book or other piece of media should be when the stakes are highest. If Scion was defeated in the middle of the novel and Lung was the final enemy to defeat instead, that would've been a terrible writing decision by Wildbow. Villainous Scion was much more of a threat than Lung was.
I really loved this novel. I wish more books were as great as this one. Worm is actually the web serial that made me start taking web serial seriously. I hope I will someday write a serial that's as great as Worm.
My rating for Worm:
4 out of 5 stars.
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seleneprince · 2 months ago
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I have a problem
I'm falling on the rabbit hole of the batfamily, most espeficially the x reader fanfics and headcanons, and it's turning into a hyperfixation that's consuming me. I'm not even joking, i've been these two last days obsessively writing in my mind a full au of yandere!batfam x neglected!reader (yes, it's the most common and everyone has seen it already but HUSH). I hate my brain. I'm not even that deep into the dc universe, haven't been in several years. I'm team Marvel ffk
The worst part is that it's not even a deeply defined plot, like my current proyect. I just have the vibes and random scenarios and headcanons about the mc, and a bunch of cliches from all the batfam x neglected! reader put together in a mix. My arcane playlist isn't helping either. And recently I've played Watch Dogs Legion again and it's only giving me inspiration for this au.
So warning: Maybe I'll post a few things about this to get it out of my brain, because I can't be the only one suffering here. Don't worry to those who follow my other writing, I have no intention of abandoning it (not when I have already everything planned), but it's going to take slower than anticipated.
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felixcloud6288 · 2 months ago
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Dungeon Meshi Chapter 39
Oh I am going to love this arc.
We're now at the sixth floor, the subterranean canals. When the party first traveled here, the level was hot, but now it's freezing cold.
There have been comments all throughout their journey that the dungeon has been shifting and it seems like the shift is more extreme the further down they go. The third floor was the first one that anyone commented on, and it seemed like the layout only changed enough that maps had to be redrawn. Meanwhile the fifth floor changes constantly. Hopefully the sixth floor doesn't also have the whole layout constantly changing thing.
There was no commentary on the fourth floor changing though. Maybe since it's a water level, actually trying to move things would cause flooding so it's left alone. If the sixth floor is a canal, it might also be best to not alter it.
For now, the party is going to look for where they lost all their gear. Does this mean Laios is going to recover that shield he was using in chapter 1? And I hope Marcille finds that soap she lost.
Some discussion about Delgal. I'm still hoping to find out if the Winged Lion was a figure before Delgal or not. When Marcille mentions inscriptions about him, there's a lion head with Delgal's name inscribed, so that should imply the lion was a thing at the same time as him. But considering the magician's obsession over Delgal, it's possible all the random inscriptions were made AFTER the kingdom turned into a dungeon.
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But yeah, this chapter confirms that Delgal was the one who gave the offer of the kingdom when the dungeon was first discovered. He's dead and his soul is no longer in the dungeon. Depending on how effective that resurrection Marcille used is at resurrecting someone, maybe the magician might try using something like that if he ever finds out.
Laios actually remembered the stuff he saw in the living pictures. And he also managed to infer the magician's motivations based off that. Laios sucks at socializing and picking up cues, but he's not dumb. He can connect the dots when they're all laid out before him.
Some elf lore. They can live to about 500 years and there are records implying they lived longer. ...Poor Marcille. She's going to outlive the others by a gigantic margin.
I want to know what Marcille was saying but its getting drowned out by Senshi's lack of understanding or interest.
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Who's hand does that belong to? No one in the party wears that gauntlet.
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Now we get to the fun part. The party escapes the blizzard, Marcille conjures a light source and...
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I really need to point out a bunch of details leading up to this moment that makes this so much better. First, and most obviously, when the party grabbed each others' hands in the blizzard, we never saw two people in the same panel. The clones had been made during the storm and as far as anyone was aware, they were holding the hands of the real companions.
Second, before the lights come on, everyone's voices are coming from different directions. Once we know what's happening, it turns out several copies were responding to Laios.
Third, Marcille covered her head during the blizzard. So no one would have been able to see what her hair looked like at the moment the fakes were made.
But still, none of the clones are wearing that gauntlet of the person Marcille was holding hands with. For a moment, I thought it looked like something Shuro would wear but he doesn't wear it either. I'm sure I've seen it somewhere.
I would hope Laios's story of shapeshifters is just a story. Or at the very least, they were only hunting sheep. If their disguises are based on peoples' recollections, it would be easier to hunt sheep than people most likely. A shepherd with 100 sheep probably isn't going to remember every unique feature of the sheep.
For simplicity sake, here's how I'm going to address everyone going forward. From left-to-right, top-to-bottom from this image:
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F1 Laios
F2 Laios
F3 Laios
Laios
F1 Marcille
F2 Marcille
F3 Marcille
Marcille
F1 Chilchuck
Chilchuck
F2 Chilchuck
F3 Chilchuck
Senshi
F1 Senshi
F2 Senshi
F3 Senshi
I'd seen images of F2 Marcille from the anime and I always thought it was an edit based on the "Handsome Squidward" face.
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So we have the first round of Spot the Imposter. The party eliminates the three Laios clones and F2 Marcille. Then Chilchuck and F3 Chilchuck point out F2 Chilchuck and F3 Senshi's outfits are wrong.
I think it's worth pointing out that F2 Chilchuck helped Chilchuck point out which of the Laios's were fakes. So even though it would be in their best interest to sow confusion, the fakes are acting exactly like the real ones would which includes trying to figure out who the fakes are. The fakes probably don't know they're fake.
In the second round, everyone shows off their gear and the ones with obviously fake equipment are locked away. Funny thing is, F3 Marcille is the one who began the line of thinking leading to this suggestion and F1 Marcille, F3 Chilchuck, and F1 Senshi were the ones who suggested showing their equipment which ended up exposing F3 Marcille, F1 Chilchuck, and F2 Senshi as fakes.
So far the party has managed to eliminate most of the fakes because the fakes keep selling each other out. And in the case of F3 Marcille, selling themselves out.
Marcille points out how F1 Marcille's grimoire has several grammatical errors, but it's never mentioned that F3 Chilchuck's lockpicking tools are wrong. We get a detailed look at them in chapter 13 that we can compare.
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The chapter ends with them about to go onto the final round. Everyone else will cook a meal and Laios will observe them and decide who is real based on their behaviour.
The others are not confident considering Laios didn't realize he'd encountered the magician, or picked up on Shuro's feelings, or remembered where he'd met Kabru.
But really, that shouldn't matter. Laios doesn't have to realize a stranger is a specific person, understand anyone's feelings, or recall memories. He just has to pay attention to what the party is doing now and pick up on any behaviours outside the norm.
So who made what? The fakes are based on everyone's thoughts of the others so each of the fakes is what they look like in everyone's minds. I'm going to take a shot at guessing which fake was made by which person and when the arc is done, I'm going to look up the answer and talk about the implications.
Laios
His Chilchuck and Senshi were already stated to be F2 Chilchuck and F3 Senshi. They're very close to correct, but Laios missed trivial details like thinking Chilchuck wears a scarf or Senshi's helmet having holes in it. Along that train of thought, I'm going to guess that he made F1 Marcille. He doesn't remember exactly what her hair looked like before this, but he had a general idea how it was laid out. He also has been learning magic so he'd know enough about what the contents of her grimoire looks like to make a convincing fake.
Marcille
I'm basing this entirely on her being a long-lived species and how she interprets everyone else based on their given age. Back in chapter 13, she called Chilchuck a kid when he said he was 29. So I think F3 Chilchuck and F2 Laios are her creations since she'd see them as teenagers. Meanwhile, I think F1 Senshi is her creation as well for the opposite reason. She interprets him to be older than he actually is.
Chilchuck
Every time we got to see Chilchuck's internal thoughts on the party, it's never flattering. So I'd guess he created the dumbest and goofiest looking fakes, F3 Laios, F3 Marcille, and F2 Senshi. F3 Marcille doesn't have any obvious hints to being stupid, but her grimoire is very much wrong, and Chilchuck doesn't know a thing about magic. It also has the line "Spell to turn back time", which is something Marcille was looking for in front of Chilchuck in chapter 33. The word "turn" was also misspelled and crudely corrected, implying F3 Marcille is not as smart as she acts.
Senshi
He has not been with the party for long. And he doesn't pay much attention to anything that doesn't have to do with cooking. So his mental image of the party are probably closer to caricatures rather than their real selves. His internal thoughts on their looks are probably something like "Laios is tall and he is pretty strong. Everyone says the elf-girl is pretty, but I don't get it. Chilchuck is a little baby who I must protect and nurture." Therefore, I think he made F1 Laios, F2 Marcille, and F1 Chilchuck.
back
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blue-thief · 5 months ago
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Ok. Thoughts on the Itoshi Sibs / their parallels with Isagi?
HELLO this took forever for me to answer because summer school and the sadness. as you know.
also i went too crazy with tying blue lock into my fixation with japanese nationalism so it got way too complex and i got scared but now i'm just gonna make that its own post (<- said the same thing about bsd. that analysis about bsd's connection with japanese nationalism has been sitting in my docs for a year now i think)
(smh this is what happens when the japanese imperial army almost wipes out your entire bloodline /gen /srs)
anyway. all that waiting to say that rin is... just some guy to me
usually a fw anime boys named rin. esp if they're the sworn rival of the plain protagonist. not necessarily this one though
i have no clue why he doesn't scratch my brain properly. he just doesn't. i need to spend a good three hours staring at the ceiling at night to figure that out
when you first sent me this i didn't really care for sae much either. now i do
that's how long this has been sitting in my drafts 😃😃
(i've written and scrapped thousands of words for this ask sob sob)
(this answer wasn't even formatted this way originally)
i've probably told you the story of how sae grew on me before but like
i don't plan out my fics right
i do play out random scenes in my head to test out if i like them or not
(shivers because updating my fic is another thing that is taking forever.......)
and i was just fucking around with random jokes kaiser and sae could say to each other
then i imagined sae smiling
and i was like "what the fuck... why is that so endearing........"
that was the turning point but it really was a lot of sitting and contemplating sae's character honestly
to really understand him and why he'd be friends with kaiser
and sae is kinda just like me frfr
that guy can't do anything other than soccer/football. he has nothing going on beyond that
and yeah. yeah... i get that.......
it's the reason why i like a bunch of other bllk characters but it's most pronounced with sae yk
(SORRY MR. SNUFFY)
and like. just his inability to be a normal fucking person 😭😭 too real
anyway those are my general itoshi brothers thoughts
now for the parallels part.
(this is the part that killed me and i wanna go more in-depth. but i'm saving that for another post. because holy shit my original idea was so fucking ambitious)
i had other thoughts and god i wish i wrote that stuff down
but the major thing i want to get into here is dependence
isagi is independent. soo independent it's kinda crazy
this was outlined most during the second selection with bachira where he had to learn to play by himself
meanwhile there's rin who seems independent on the surface
however, rin has always been dependent on sae in one way or another
when they were younger, rin was dependent on sae to take care of and guide him
rin also depended heavily on sae on the field
now that they are older, sae's attempt to shake rin off has just made rin's dependence on sae even more intense, just in a different way
rin's only motivation to play soccer/football had been to "crush" sae
...but now he's met isagi
and his obsession has found a new object
with the recent chapters, now we know he places isagi and sae on a similar level in his personal hierarchy, and his desire to destroy sae has bled into rin's feelings toward isagi
while rin has only one rival, the same can't be said for isagi
isagi gains rivals like pokemon, and while they have all played a significant roll in isagi's development as a person and a character, his obsession doesn't consume him. in the PXG vs BM match, he's doesn't fully comprehend the effect he's had on kaiser and rin
and mannn i wish i could find this analysis, but it's gone now
but someone compared isagi's desire to "devour" to rin and nagi's desire to "kill"
I WISH I COULD REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT THEY SAID
but from what i remember, "devouring" someone is temporarily defeating them, but both parties ultimately improve so there's room for them to meet again and help each other improve even more
however, "killing" someone is defeating them completely so they're never able to play/improve ever again
which outlines the fact that while isagi can be a little bitch on the field, he wants his rivals to improve alongside him, and in the end, he wants the best for people (in terms of soccer/football)
which is why he never became overly-dependent on bachira and why he treats midfielders as actual human beings 😭😭
isagi is independent, but he pushes for the people around him to be just as independent
the itoshi brothers are different though
rin is codependent on sae, and you could say his hatred/obsession with isagi is a different type of codependency
but that thing about treating midfielders as human beings...
uh. that doesn't really apply to rin
sae is somewhat similar with how he "tamed" shidou but it's not THAT imbalanced lmao
there's also how the three of them are on different places of the striker-midfielder spectrum
in-universe and within the fandom, rin is perceived as japan's ultimate striker. his raw shooting power + metavision makes him perfect for this position.
however sae, another metavision user, is the perfect midfielder
then there's isagi who's tried emulating rin's play style at first but is ultimately most similar to sae, leading people to say that isagi is better suited to be a midfielder rather than a striker
while rin represents what the ultimate japanese striker is, something isagi is trying to reach, sae's path is one that isagi could easily fall down instead
many people have theorized that sae became a midfielder to improve rin's chances at becoming a better striker. sae may be considered to have a strong ego, but if this turns out to be true, that might not be the case lmao
errm. idk how to end this off. sorry for the wait sob sob
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iam-lnt · 29 days ago
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I'm curious about the Hetalia fandom in China. Can you share some stories (fandom culture, fanfic/fanart, event, etc) in there? 🫶🏻🌹
In recent years, I have had the opportunity to know some Chinese Hetalians, and I find them very friendly (including you, too 🫣).
Most of my favorite couples are not too... popular in China (🤕), so the chances to meet someone share the same passion is much lower (😭), but everyone I met who sailed the same ship 🚣🏻‍♀️ with me is really nice 💕
Thank you for answering all of my random questions 😭‼️
disclaimer first: I have *been* in the hetalia fandom in China, yes, but strictly speaking I'm not actively involved in events/offline meetings/fandom chats etc. so this may be a biased viewpoint. BUT it's still a viewpoint, and since you asked I figure I should tell you as much of what I know as possible.
So...here we go! 🤓☝️
(This whole thing looks like a whole ass analysis bc that's how my brain have been working for the past few days. I rly want to sound like my inner enthusiastic self but somehow it turned out like this. urgh💦)
From my experiences, I'd say Chinese hetalian fandom is most similar to that of Japan/ Korea (typical east Asian bunch bruh). And on a macro scale, Chinese hetalians share basically the same material with every other hetalian around the world.
Here are some things abt the fandom culture as a whole that I can categorize and tell you:
Censorship issues and avoidance
Due to certain sensitive contents and the...weird Internet regulation laws i guess, main streaming sites such as Bilibili does not have episodes like the April fools' one, the Valentine one, the first episode of the horror movie one, and the whole freaking season 7. ofc the consensus here is that we all have various ways of getting the missing episodes' resources, so yes we know Ludwig proposed using a tomato ring and we know everyone served bc Antonio was being stupidly kinky (kinky-ly stupid?)
This also applies to how Chinese hetalians would refer to the characters. Like elsewhere, we either call them by their human name (e.g. Alfred, Alfred F. Jones) or the nation name (e.g. America).
- In the human name scenario, it can be just "阿尔弗雷德" ("Alfred" in Chinese), or it can be various nicknames branching out from the name "Alfred", like “阿尔弗"("Alfie")/"阿尔" ("Al").
- In the nation name scenario, though, dashes are used to separate characters to avoid unwanted problems. "美国" ("America") will thus be typed as "美/国". As you can see that's pretty troublesome, especially if there's more than two characters in a name. So, alternatively, countries names are also nicknamed using various ways like what it sounds similar to, either in English, Chinese, or the original Japanese. Now that's a whole different language thingy topic to expand on...I'll just leave it here
Fandom events and interactions
That's something pretty popular on Lofter i think, tho I've never participated in one. Basically, a bunch of people will gather up for a week/month/specific anniversary of celebration, in which they contribute art or fanfics to a character/a ship/a group using a special tag.
Oh right Tumblr has those too...just remembered. Okay I guess then that's easy to understand ✌️
Some may have group chats with oomfs that like the same ship/character. These chats can be using communication apps like Wechat or QQ. It's like a oomfs pro max chat box where they joke and rants abt everything.
Others would go to offline events, organized by fans or comic cons officials. Cosplayers and artists would do their thing of serving the fandom with amazing works.
There's also this obsession with buying official goods like badges and cards, putting these goods in neat arrangements and decorations, and photographing them. I'm not sure what that's called but I've seen fans do that with their fav character(s). Pretty sure it's also a thing elsewhere.
Fanfics. fan arts and ships
Let's just say the popular ships will always be popular ships. Tho I'm highlighting the fact that russia/china is a pretty popular ship up there with UsUk/FrUk/Gerita etc. best I can comment is "because history" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
Fanfics and fan arts are posted on sites such as Lofter. Bilibili is used more for editing/animation. Lots of good stuff can be found bc istg there Chinese hetalians cook HARD. Also fun fact: those posted on ao3 have a high possibility of being or having smut/r18 stuff bc...see censorship lol
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riiiiight i think that's about it for this time! you can see I've locked in for this answer bc there's little emoji used lmao
ngl your questions can get my head working and thinking so i like them very very much! You can relax and "tutoyer" yourself w me 😏
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zmbiesvape · 20 days ago
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people are lying about me, harassing me, stalking me (how are you getting a bunch of screenshots of my acc when I have you star, chirssy, and evb else that I know is close with you blocked.) and sending their friends to harass me & and innocent ppl. I made this blog because people were sending me anons threatening to rape my friends, not because I "didn't want to take accountability" I still stand by everything I said, moreso now actually. I just don't want to talk about a situation that happened TWO months ago just because an insane narcissist wants to drag it out. I haven't posted about it in MONTHS, but you keep posting abt it and unblocking me to dm me. also I don't remember ever even finding your TT acc, idk ur username on there, not that I care enough that I'd stalk you either way. I'm not sure what that was abt, I'm pretty sure one of my mutual reposted one of ur videos or smth. sorry abt that. I also never called you a rapist. I said you roleplayed rape, because you did. the thing I said about me being an sa advocate wasn't even about that situation. you just refused to acknowledge it and got mad that I didn't name drop. obviously you didn't fucking rape me holy shit. Im also an sa survivor myself, so u can stop saying "real sa victims" because I am. and not bc of you. not everything is about you jazz. also nobody that I talk to is sending you anons, so u can stop saying that thanks.
literally all I wanted was to be left alone, and the main reason I even got upset in the first place was because you wouldn't leave me alone. (I said that to you multiple times, not that I exaggerated the situation. cuz I didn't.) I've realized you're not gonna stop harrassing me, you're not gonna stop lying about me, and you're gonna continue to stalk me because youre so self centered you have to see what I'm saying about you even though I've said nothing for months.
calling me pathetic and saying I'm dragging it on when you've unblocked me MULTIPLE times to say some random bullshit and you continue to post about me is insane. you've also talked to my friends and lied about me, I've only talked to one person who wasn't involved in the situation, because they asked. everybody else that blocked you made that decision on their own based on what they saw. the ONLY times I've posted about this on this blog was when I told the anons to stop, unblocking star to tell them to stop posting about me (that's not a post but I felt like I should include it), and today.
I'm making a new blog again. stop unblocking me to spew your unmedicated bullshit, don't look for my new blog cuz you're already blocked, stop sending people to my page to harrass me (ik u r bc u admitted it. also one of the anons (they admitted to being an anon) was harrassing my Instagram and gave you the joke post I made that you've been using as "proof". unless you did somehow find my Instagram.) just stop talking about the situation. the only ppl that care atp are you and ur 2 friends. I wasn't the one who brought it here like you keep saying, you got mad over a private conversation (that happened after I'd already blocked you bc you don't know how to leave people alone) and took it to Tumblr! I made ONE vague post that I deleted like 2 mins later and you ran with it.
I could say so much more shit you'd done, but people are scared about coming out about what you did so I won't. I'm sorry you have to live with yourself knowing you're lying about me and so many other people while there's still so many ppl suffering in silence bc of what u did.
I'm also extremely sorry to anyone and everyone who got caught in the crossfire, nobody who was sent those gross insane anons or dmed deserved it. I'm also sorry to my ex mutuals who genuinely think I'm a horrible person bc jazz is so obsessed with this situation that she won't stop lying! love you all so much ^3^ dm me if u want my new handle!
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imagineandwrite · 2 years ago
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Domestic Vibes (Headcanon)
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I'm still writing Obsession vs. Love
Domestic?Shuri Udaku x College Student!Masculine!Fem!Reader Also Grumpy!Sunshine!Shuri x Slightly!Grumpy!Reader
Warnings: Mean!Reader and Mean! Shuri but they're slick with it, they're not mean to each other, I feel like Reader just needs a nice nap and she'll be fine. Reader is taller than Shuri, and Shuri has no decorum. Reader is grumpy but is soft-spoken around Shuri. Poor Riri just wants to hang with her bestie, I don't say anything sexual but I think it's implied that Reader is very dominant and Shuri is very... submissive. I think at some point I just let loose and just start dumping my thoughts, so there's definitely a lot of cussing and Reader talks like me... I've been told I talk "Proper ghetto" idfk
A/N: THIS IS NOT IN THE SAME UNIVERSE AS Obsession vs Love. I'm trying a new color code thing. Green is Reader and Purple is Shuri
Inspired by @shinsousliya's Domestic!Wife!Shuri Headcanons
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Dating
When y'all finally start dating (which is a hilarious story I imagined but I don't have the energy to write. If you want it, let me know)
You thought Shuri was clingy before but now the nigga is SLOTH CLINGY! Holding onto your back, piggyback rides, held over your shoulder, or she's holding onto your arm.
Don't blame her though, she lost everyone so she needs to keep an eye on you
She's practically moved in with you and only goes back to Wakanda to do check-ups on the people and their safety (she is the Black Panther after all)
Riri has gotten used to coming home to Shuri and you laying on the couch or the floor watching tv
"I left you a box on the counter," Shuri said, her eyes never straying from the tv and her hands still playing with your hair. Riri sighs as she walks into the kitchen, greeted with the site of two boxes. One with her name and the other with MJ's name. "I wasn't sure if you were bringing MJ, or not, so I got something for her!"
Meanwhile, you're grumbling cause your sleep was disturbed by Shuri's yelling.
Speaking of sleep! We all know that College is a bitch, having a job doesn't help, and running a side hustle with Riri is kinda tiring.
Your sleep schedule is terrible
Your friends constantly call you Zombie or a vampire cause you look like shit while still looking sexy
"How is it that you had a bunch of girlfriends, have an amazing girlfriend who will do anything for you, and still have random bitches coming up to you asking for your number? Meanwhile, the other day a girl flat out told me no and asked my brother out in front of me." "I have no clue, maybe no one likes you cause you dress like Mr. Brown." (Yes, Tyler Perry's Mr. Brown)
At first, Shuri would try to get you to bed on time but then she'd stay up working while you slept. And you told her that made no damn sense
So now y'all stay up together until one of you (usually Shuri) slumps over and the other (you) has to carry them to bed.
Remember the clinginess I mentioned in the other post? Yeah, Shuri needs your attention on her
She will 100% let you talk her ear off about all your interests and hobbies
Why are you talking to this musty boy when you could be talking to her? Oh, he's your cousin? Well, she's your girlfriend, your very needy girlfriend.
Speaking of being yours! Tell her she's your "anything" and she's putty in your hands
"Hello, my love." "Hi, Sthandwa Sami." *soft giggles*
"Cause you're my girl." She's now latched onto you, good luck carrying a Shuri sized front pack
She'll ask you about your passions, knowing that there's a chance you'll go on a rant about it and she loves it when you explain things she "doesn't understand"
She understands almost everything about your passions, she researched it when she found out you loved it.
OH! Shuri learns your body's schedule so that she can make breakfast or ready a shower or bath, depending on if you are going to work or school
She learned your style so now she's constantly buying things for you and you're like "QUIT BUYING ME THINGS!" and she's like "But spoiling you makes me happy." and you, of course, don't wanna make her sad so you let her spoil you.
I don't know if Shuri really thinks they're flirting or is just really jealous but if she sees a girl staring for too long or breathing weirdly. She's ready to throw hands... unless you can stop her in time
"Is she staring at you?" "No, I think she's staring at you." "Sthandwa Sami, I am many things, but I am not blind." Cue her speeding towards the woman. "Apartments this way, my love! You can fight air instead of yanking her hair." (that rhymed)
It's either that or she finds a way to "accidentally" offend the person so they leave
"You're wearing a wig, yes? I can see it lifting at your ear where you didn't glue it properly."
"Your shoes don't match your outfit, is today a tacky day? Or what do you Americans call it? Mitch-match?"
She's so mean but she looks so innocent, so confused while saying these things that people think she's genuinely curious. Meanwhile, you're trying to find out if you want to laugh or find the nearest exit so you can deal with her
While you're in class, Shuri is either working on a lab project or she's running errands/doing work for you.
Again, I'm keeping @shinsousliya's headcanon in mind
So, you're a college student running a business. Maybe you're selling hair care products. Just because some old people can't tell if you're a dude or a chick doesn't mean you have unkempt hair.
She bought a printer for you so you wouldn't have to keep using your friends' or the library's printer. She's piping shea butter hair cream into containers, pouring hair oil into bottles, and sticking labels on them.
She'll restock your ingredients, and buy another mixer for you so you can make two batches at a time instead of one.
One time, she sat you down and created a schedule for you. It's got what classes you have on certain days, restock days, wash days, birthdays, vacation time, etc.
Since you both know, you're not gonna keep up with the planner, she has complete access to it. She'll add things to it and you'll get a notification on your iPhone, iPad, laptop, and kimoyo beads.
Did I mention she got you kimoyo beads? You have them as a necklace and she made you Kimoyo earrings as well so you both are matching.
I know y'all THINK she's tall, but shawty is a shorty.
I feel like you'll walk into the kitchen and just see her chilling on the counters. Like literally on the counters. Like crouched on it, like a cat, type chilling.
She goes to you to clean her wounds from being the Black Panther
You've learned a bunch of basics and more of First Aid and such
But she's so whiny and so sensitive
"I'm kindly requesting that you sit still," You mumble, carefully picking a bullet out of the hole in her side. "It hurts," She whined, shoving her face into a pillow to muffle her groan of pain. "I know, my love, but I got it," You sigh, placing the bullet on a tray next to you and grabbing the cloth wraps. After cleaning around the wound, you kiss her hip before wrapping her waist. Stopping whenever she flinched back to give her a break. "I'm done, love." You kiss her temple as you carefully guide her to lie in bed.
She's super annoying but it's cute so it's okay
Like she's following you around whenever she can
As soon as you get home, she's guiding you to the couch or to your room so she can just lay on you
If you say or do something stupid, she's quick to pinch your side
It's gotten to the point where fi you can, you'll move away from her and then say it so she has to get through obstacles to get you
By the time she's with you, she just wants to hug you
Accidently snaps at you for no fucking reason
It's toned down now that you've fixed it, but SHEEEESH
when y'all first started dating, she snapped left and right
"You okay?" "I do not need you hounding me, I'm fine."
"Maybe take a break." "Stop telling me what to do, I don't need a break I need to finish this. You need to leave!"
"Sweetheart-" "No." "Excuse me?" "Can't you see I'm busy?"
At first, all you did was give her a look and that would fix her up
But then you talked about it with her and tried to figure out why she would snap so frequently
Poor baby would be overstimulated and the only way for her to be pulled away from overworking was to snap at you
She likes matching with you, even if you're in different countries
She'll call you so you can plan your outfits together
Sometimes she'll get lost in thoughts of her future with you
DEFINITELY TOOK SOME OF YOUR CLOTHES WITH HER TO WAKANDA
You call her and see her drowning in your hoodie
"Ma'am..." "Yes?" "That's my hoodie." "I know." "Why do you have it?" "Cause..." "Okay, my love."
That's another thing! Y'all don't even have to say anything, you just know when the other is feeling a certain way
Has and will ask you stupid shit just so she can see your reaction
She invited you to Wakanda and you met Nakia and had to do a double take
"I'm looking respectfully."
And Nakia of course has been around the world and has spent time in Nakia. She knows exactly what you mean by that and she is amused. Shuri is not
"If you're going out in that, put on a jacket. I don't want you sick."
If you're like me, I'm an introvert but if I have to, ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO, I will talk to people
Your social battery starts depleting at 5 people if they're strangers.
On a very good day you can do 6
Shuri is perfectly fine with this, cause she doesn't like talking to people either
It's more of a "What's out there that we don't have in here?" than a "People are terrifying" thing
Physical Affection
You're either spooning her or she's laying on top of you with her face in your neck or on your chest. If you move, she moves. There's no separating
"Unless you want me to pee on you, move." Softly nudging Shuri off you. "I'll come with you." Getting up to follow you to the bathroom with a soft grin. "Do me a favor and don't. Just plant your ass on the bed." Pushing her back on the bed and wrapping her up like a burrito.
One of you is wrapped in a blanket laying between the other's legs while they read to the burrito blanket person
I feel like Shuri likes to nuzzle you. Like if she's sitting behind you, she'll nuzzle the back of your neck or your shoulder. She'll nuzzle your cheek.
OR! She'll give you Eskimo kisses, which is just rubbing your nose against someone else's nose
Buries her face in your chest. Doesn't matter if you're flat-chested or your breast is big (like me) She'll shove her face where she can
Goodnight kisses, very important. DO NOT MISS OUT ON HER KISSES
Thump. You shove the pillow off your face and back into Shuri's hands. When you finally open your eyes, Shuri glares down at you from her place on your lap. "What?" "Do not 'what' me!" She whispers, thumping your forehead before crossing her arms. You sighed as you sat up, placing your hands on her hips to keep her on your lap. You swiftly pecked her lips, quick to move out of her reach when she tried to deepen the kiss.
She'll bite you. If you're like me, then you'll bite her back.
Or you're the one who bit her first
She's constantly messing with your hair
If you don't have any hair, then she's playing with your fingers
If she senses your anxiety, and you're in public, she'll grab your hand
If you're in the comfort of your home, or at a friend's house, she'll hug you and kiss along your collarbone or jaw or cheek (wherever she can reach)
So if you saw the Meetings and Things post, then you remember that you'd pull her to sit in your lap whenever there weren't enough sits BEFORE you were dating
Now that you're dating, she likes to sit on your lap and just chill
She's gotten used to sitting in your lap and it kinda feels weird to not be in your lap or pressed into your side
Wrap your arms around her from behind and pull her into you. She immediately collapses into your arms
And good luck trying to escape her hold in the morning
Cause she's latched on TIGHT
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How do we like the color thingy? I was gonna do a bit of NSFW headcanons but... I don't know... I'll probably mess with it in the future
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spilledmilkfkdies · 9 months ago
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So what are your personal thoughts on Yilidth (if you haven't already answered). I hadn't read the comics in a while but I don't think they ever said anything about him being related to Duman, though considering his eye and hair colour I guess it was probably implied. How do you think he created him? Like did he just use magic or did he had a one night stand and then years later, a basket with baby Duman just appeared with a letter telling him he's the dad, and he's like "Oh, f*#k".
I actually made an au where the wizards had joined Yilidth's wizard cult as novices and one task that he made them do was babysit Duman. Imagine the chaos😂
I think I have given my thoughts on him before, but that was both a while ago and I didn't appreciate him as much as I do now, which you can tell 💀💀 very angry very rambly stuff over there- So let me give some more/updated thoughts!!
Him being underused and shoehorned is still very true, unfortunately. He could've been a super handy tool to give us more information about the whole Terrestrial conflict, since that was an interesting part of canon that might have benefitted from a bit more exploration, even if it was a bit late. But then he just. Wasn't?? He was announced, he came, he died?????? And that was the first and last we saw of him. Honestly deranged boooo yucky.
He never even got to interact with the wizards again- You could literally say he was just some random criminal that had been locked away and almost nothing would change, and that's really his main problem. Aside from his design. I mean, love a blank canvas to throw a bunch of takes at, but come on!!!!!
Him and Duman's relation was never really mentioned either, I don't think? Beyond the "He was the leader of the fairy hunters!" there's really um. Nothing. Like in general. Ask canon Yllidith their names and he'll give you a blank stare fgbhbn- Tbh I'm surprised Duman's even in the lil flashback thingy at all ngl
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Now, can we call any sort of relation implied? Are we gonna give them that much credit? Well idk! I'm just personally a fan of it so I just kinda. Squinted real hard. Matching eye colour? Mhm. Hair colour? Sure kinda. Yllidith having illusion magic and Duman being a shapeshifter? Yep that lines up enough for me, that does it, they're related now. Some people see the vision, others might not- I've spoken to plenty of people who aren't a fan of the take and that's a-okay, just know that I very much am 👉👈
This is a. Surprisingly consistent thing for me too?? Like yeah there's a case of "it depends on what I'm doing", there usually is- But not to a large extent ig? The method varies, but in a lot of stuff I'm doing now there's definitely a relation in one way or another.
Usually Duman is more or less made from scratch, a magic'd up baby, if you will. Though the process did include Yllidith's blood, so you have enough wiggle room to still say there's a blood relation. (Duman wouldn't.) (Yllidith only does when it's convenient.) But I've been getting the urge to explore a more normal approach where he was just regularly born lately, so maybe I'll get to that at some point too.
And!! If you ever feel like sharing more of that AU in any way, please do, because it sounds absolutely DELIGHTFUL. Imagine them thinking it's gonna be an easy enough task, and they wonder why nobody else wants to do it, then little Duman starts shapeshifting into horrors beyond mortal comprehension. Bye, I'm obsessed.
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sandybrett · 9 months ago
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Here are my completely honest thoughts on a bunch of audio dramas I've checked out. (Don't worry, nothing scathing, they're all reasonably good. But please proceed with caution, or don't proceed, if you're involved in creating any of these shows.)
In the order I first listened:
The Storage Papers: Nine episodes in. A little slow paced, but I've heard it picks up in the later seasons. My only real concern is that it seems like a lot of the horror revolves around "this thing looks sort of like a human but it's Wrong somehow. also it kills people (or cats)." I hope at some point we meet a creature that looks and acts as unsettling as the Grinner but is nice, or at least complicated.
The Cellar Letters: Seven episodes in. I LOVE it. I love the natural-feeling messiness of it, the way Nate and Steve talk in circles and go back and forth on what to believe. It's made me laugh out loud multiple times. I can't wait to learn more about that weird little room full of letters with that one random word written on the wall (I forget what).
400 Words a Horror: Three episodes in. I had to re-listen to the first episode because I hadn't been paying enough attention, but I think that particular episode rewards re-listening anyway. Also it is the only show on this list that genuinely frightens me so I have to pace myself. Very good.
Tin Can Audio Presents: Middle:Below: Two episodes in. I won't say I'm hooked, but I am somewhat interested. It's a lot more relaxing than the other podcasts on this list, so I keep thinking I'll save it for listening closer to bedtime, then not getting around to it.
The Grotto: Six episodes in. Very much enjoying. I was SO proud of myself for correctly guessing the twist in the second episode. I love the characters and am extremely intrigued by the mysteries. My only criticism is that the musical interludes drag on too long. And I'm saying that as a WOE.BEGONE fan.
Soul Operator: Three episodes in. It's good but there isn't any particular element that's drawing me in just yet. There's a lot I don't know about the world yet, though, so there is still plenty of time for me to fall in love with this show. (Irrelevant note: I always get "Smooth Operator" by Sade stuck in my head when I think about this show.)
Shadows at the Door: Listened to half of the first episode. It was somewhat interesting, but I decided I had higher priorities for my listening time than disconnected hour-long episodes that are only *somewhat* interesting.
Archive 81: Five episodes in. Quite possibly going to become a major obsession. It's got everything: playing with point of view; the Power of Storytelling but in a menacing way; vivid character voices; probably a cult. I particularly love the way conversations play out on this show--I don't know exactly how to explain it but there's a certain... friction that happens in real conversations but rarely in fictional ones outside cringe comedy. I don't usually enjoy that sort of thing when it's played for laughs, but for realism or suspense? I eat that up. It does make me a little tense so this is another show I pace myself with and I'm glad the episodes are short.
Alice Isn't Dead: Two episodes in. I'm not going to make it a priority--it's got a similar sort of surrealism to Night Vale, but with higher stakes and less humor, and I had enough trouble getting immersed in Night Vale. I could probably enjoy it if I gave it enough time, but for now I'd rather focus on *gestures at some of the shows above*
The Silt Verses: Listened to the first ten minutes of the first episode and got bored, which I think says as much about me as it does about the show. It does get off to a bit of a slow start and leaves more space between lines of dialogue than most of these shows do, but I could probably get into it with adequate time and sleep. Not prioritizing it, for similar reasons to Alice.
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puhpandas · 1 month ago
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I WOULD LOVE A WHOLEPOST ABOUT UR THOUGHTS ON HOW THE UPDATE SOLVED HW2 FOR U
THANKS BESTIE. here we go
so my first thought when I watched the hw2 update was "wow, they really updated hw2 just to add more random disconnected from anything hw2 has going on lore of mxes and most of all just to tease sotm bc they refuse to show any footage of it". the sotm stuff doesnt have a deeper meaning, it's literally just to build up hype, but the very nature of them dumping lore into a hw2 update seemed so... strange. and it made me think deeper about it
I mean they virtually just updated a game that wasnt about the mimic before to be about the mimic, and also to show off mxes lore and explain a little more about it. completely ignoring the sotm hype, mxes lore is so random and doesnt match or fit with anything else hw2 had going on
but hw2 itself was all over the place, not having a comprehensible plot and seemingly just having a bunch of random little plots that didnt have an overarching story. like glitchtrap being killed in the vanny ending, roxys node being a mask and not her endoskeleton, and killing off Cassies dad (I'll get into him later)
so that made me wonder if hw2 was SUPPOSED to be all over the place from the start. my first impression with this update is that they updated the game to explain lore in the mimic era that they wouldnt be able to explain in sotm. that came off as them like, shoving it in somewhere so they didnt have to find a way to talk about it AFTER sotm. and it just kinda clicked for me in that moment. the very nature of killing glitchtrap (the main thing that happened in hw2) and all the other teeny tiny plotpoints that were disconnected from eachother being included was the entire point of the game
we all know they're. fucking obsessed with sotm. they're constantly hyping it up and talking about it and every single release since security breach has been working to foreshadow/tease it. it doesnt take a genius to realize that this is supposed to be a big game. it's the end of this era to me, that I've been calling "the course correction era". everything theyve been doing really has been incorporating the mimic into the games, and this update confirmed talesgames. killing glitchtrap also is securing mimics place as his replacement
so like, if sotm is theoretically the end of an incorperation/course correction/mimic lore era, then that means any loose ends theyd need to tie up quick, and that's where hw2 came in. ruin was the mimics first appearance, hw2 is the game that ties up tiny loose ends here and there, and sotm will be explaining everything mimic so we can more into an actual present day story progression era
tldr I think hw2s entire purpose was to be a game to dump any tiny story aspects they needed to establish or debunk or whatever before fully jumping into the new era after sotm. I always thought "itd be so much better if they did ruin and then sotm with no hw2, bc it's just so nothing" but maybe the nothing was on purpose. it's so they dont have to do it later and they get some explaining out of the way. that's why them shoving mxes lore into the game in an update felt so on purpose, when everything hw2 had done had felt so directionless. it kinda put it in a new perspective for me
and as for cassies dad, who is probably the protag, I think it explains the entire point of his character existing, which was so lost to me before. his character exists just to be the protag of hw2. he gets IMMEDIATELY killed off in the ending of the game, had no face or name or character other than being the father of a more important character, and was more of an introduction to the concept of vanni technician masks and fazwrenches and stuff. he exists to be the guy in hw2, the game that only exists to tie up little loose ends, bc that game just needed a player character, and then he dies.
he doesnt have anything crazy going on, like (people thought for a while, but it was debunked in the john sw interview and also in this update) building mxes, or setting up the nodes. almost all of that has been debunked with Gregory vanessa and Freddy consistently being associated with mxes multiple times, and their footprints being around ruin where nodes would be set up. they're clearly being implied to be responsible for the nodes/mxes in the basement and taking them from the factory to do so/and trapping the mimic. I feel like his character was always meant to be a throwaway, I mean goddamn we know nothing about him.
and also, Scott has shown to be randomly obsessed with assigning adult men in fnaf games with being a past fnaf 4 bully with itp also having Freddy bully, so I doubt the bonnie tie ins have any more significance than just a little cute callback reference. it's just that. anything he had before the john SW interview and this update has been debunked, with major evidence pointing towards other characters (who it SHOULD be doing all that stuff), so its just. it makes him make so much sense. he was so infuriating before bc he seemingly did tons of important shit but was so.. not important, but i feel like enough time has passed and stuff have happened to show that he didnt ever have that stuff going on. he was always a one-off character to give the lore dump game a protag, then he was killed off immediately. hes another jeremy of the franchise. just there to serve the plot and then die
it also makes narritave sense. cassies story cant head in any other direction (& just the story as a whole) than vanny!cassie, and Cassies dad being dead takes away one of the support systems she would have thatd keep her from being manipulated by mimic. it removes parents from the situation for her and makes it like. more possible ig that shed even be in this situation not being helped
anyway, that's what I've gathered from this update. maybe I'm crazy but this update has cleared up a lot of things for me personally, and I hope I'm right about this stuff. cassies dad being one-off and a jeremy would be infinitely more narritavely satisfying than him being in charge of the stuff with ruin then just. fucking dying. it also makes perfect sense for how they treat his character
and more evidence supporting Cassies dad being made to be hw2s protag: ruin and hw2 were made at the same time. it was a year and a half of radio silence before they announced both hw2 and released ruins trailer in the same week in 2023, and then ruin and hw2 released 5 months apart, with both games referencing eachother in them. they made these side by side, so itd line up perfectly if they knew they needed a protag for hw2 that would be disposable, so they made Cassies dad, and made him only exist as a character in collectable descriptions and 1 line from cassie. ruin also foreshadows 'carnival' (aka sotm) in its ending w the mascot costumes in the room it was trapped in, so sotm was 100% planned and prob in development at this point, meaning this whole lineup of course correction was thought out
anyway thanks for enabling me anon! plz lmk ur thoughts! this course correction era has been. very infuriating, since we didn't even have a single clue why they were doing the story like this until sotm was announced, and it cleared up their intentions and plans at least for me. its actually making me so much more excited. theyve just been speeding through getting the mimic and stuff incorporated already so they can move on. it's nice to see and to know that even tho this stuff has taken a long time to come out, at least they're not purposefully spreading it out and dragging it along. they're just doing it until they're done. and if the code of 4625 in the update is really a release date, then April 6 isnt even that far away. we can be free soon!!
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zeondraws · 2 months ago
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Finally had time for my boos OCs
Wanted to draw Alondra as study but ended up drawing her brother in. He put the kitchen on fire idk HOW-
Random thoughts down below!
Last four days I have been very productive I've noticed. Just interesting to see, I do manage to work on my projects when the time is there (I always worry I am incapable of working properly, whenever I see all these self employed artists that seem to manage well enough). I specifically took two days off work to clean my apartment and work on stuff. Still have to add something to furniture and wait for my new bookcase but- is going.
Tho I clearly seem to be afraid of paperwork, that fear keeps festering. Hm, I at least have therapy today, hope new therapist will be OK.
I always seem to work on something every day, tho I also have been living alone for years and it sometimes feels very lonely being in my apartment on my own (Tho I am also very used to being alone, sometimes I prefer it). Yesterday, my uncle told me I can turn to him to talk about anything etc. But I just know, if I talk about my feelings too often, he'll get offended at some point.
While I draw is the only time I can finally shed a tear, sometimes at least. It is therapeutic in some way. Also I started listening to a German youtuber hyper analyse every 5min of the first harry potter movie yesterday- She has like 30 episodes that take around 40-60min each. It's wild but also very interesting to listen to while drawing. (German folks may know about Coldmirror) Freaking giggled at some parts, a friend of mine joined the vc session and listened along, was fun.
But ye I hope I can go back to having proper therapy the coming months and sort some problems, I'm too scared to talk to anyone with. I think one topic that makes me feel incredibly awkward, that I have mentioned a bunch of time already? Is probably about love, but it makes me feel very weird. I still remember as a child where I got a crush on cartoon characters and it wasn't really bad. Tho I stopped trying to have that feeling after I obsessed over my chem teacher at the age of 16-17. It makes me feel very awkward to this day and sometimes feels very painful.
I'm turning 23 in about a month, which is wild to think. So much happened, since I left my uncles house. (for context I have two)
But I think developing a crush on a fictional character now makes me feel very weird. I don't know how to feel about it because I avoided having such feelings for ages, because this entire topic among other things has a lot of bad memories attached to it. There is some trauma that is waaaayy too personal, that I couldn't say here. At least not in the near future. But ugh I get emotional just thinking about it, for some reason it brings me back to child me playing uno on my own. Didn't really have many people to play with. Instead I hung out with my imaginary OCs and did stuff with them. They still help me out, whenever I need to overcome a challenge. Or me just imagining them, following me along in the mall. My favourites atm are Edwin and Kirsten, two of my Bus OCs.
Seems therapy, art and just writing my feelings down somewhere online helped the most. I tried doing a diary, but it sadly didn't work long term. If I could have a family member I can vent to instead, I'd be happy to but don't think it's given. I think even a partner scares me too much, I firstly want to be on my own rn.
Okay! I go relax today, busbusbusbusbusbusbusbusbus
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