#and I'm also annoyed with people who weren't exactly bothered

[daydreamerdrew]

I’m genuinely heartbroken that Mark Waid said Mary’s hero name is going to be Mary Marvel now.

I’m obviously a big fan of Golden Age comics, so it’s in no way a distaste for the Golden Age that motivates this, but I really don’t think that “Mary Marvel” as a hero name works that well in modern comics with characters that aren’t meant to know her secret identity calling her that.

I think that this change is motivated entirely by wanting to return to the classic version of the family in whatever ways are possible without any thought given to what makes sense for the specific version of her that exists in comics now. Especially since Billy is going to be called the Captain now, so it’s not like the name Shazam needed to be freed up for him.

And I really do not think that it makes any in-universe sense for modern Mary to name herself Mary Marvel or be amenable to someone else naming her that. Like, I don’t see the road to this from The New Champion of Shazam! (2023), which emphasized so strongly that, despite sexist backlash, her name was Shazam and not ‘Lady Shazam’ or any other gendered variations that stemmed from hesitation to give her that main title.

I think it’s clear from the interview that Mark Waid is thinking about how to make classically-styled Billy work in a modern comic book. For example, he talks about how a lot of his Golden Age stories had very low stakes, but that doesn’t work well for what modern audience are interested in now, even though it was really successful back then.

But while the change that Billy won’t be able to say “Shazam” anymore without transforming is going to be justified with the Lazarus Planet event, it’s my understanding that the change of Billy’s personality is just going to be how it is now without any explanation. And that’s fine with me because I don’t care for how the modern version of him has previously been characterized.

But I really like the modern Mary that we’ve gotten and I’m sad to see her get unnecessarily dismantled. While Billy as Shazam never worked for me, Mary as Shazam did. It was exciting to see her move into the main spot in the family and the series that gave her that name felt like a natural modernization of her classic character, not the forced and mean-spirited approach that the story that gave Billy that name took.

I just don’t see how this name change is in any way good for her character. While Billy benefits from being called the Captain now in that people who otherwise would not be interested are now going to be more open to buying his book, I don’t see how Mary being called a name that some modern readers struggle to take seriously benefits her, especially when her classic iteration doesn’t have as big of a fan base to appeal to in the first place. And there really wasn’t anything wrong with calling her Shazam.

[rubra-wav]

(Wearing their clothes anon) Sorry! For Lucifer, Vox, Velvette, Carmilla, Rosie, Angel, Alastor and Pentious

Various! Hazbin x reader stealing their clothes

A/N I ended up only doing them SFW because I just couldn't see most of them being into that. I will probably make a part 2 for Vox, though, because he'd DEFINITELY be into that.

How do you even manage to be smaller then Lucifer, he's like 5'2" LMAO (I am literally an inch taller than him IRL)

CW: SFW, gn!reader, Masc reader for Angel, somewhat suggestive in parts, very slight reference to violence in some, established romantic relationship

Lucifer

- If you came out of your room dressed in his usual outfit, he'd absolutely squeal upon seeing you.

- He would like it very much and thinks you look absolutely adorable in his getup.

- At home, he'd probably just wanna cuddle up to you and play with your (his technically) long sleeves while you watched something or doomscrolled for a while.

- In public he'd be a blushing mess though. (Assuming you'd be wearing his shirt and jacket - he'd likely ask you to change if you were wearing his whole outfit)

- He'd feel an odd sense of embarrassment but also particularly pride about it in public.

- He's so used to being short that if he was out showing you off it'd kind of be a middle finger to people who called him short in a way.

- And also because it's you in his clothes. Basically cementing yourself as being his partner.

- One of the people who would be NSFW about it.

Vox

- He'd love it.

- Especially if it was ridiculously huge on you - like his suit jacket or his button ups in particular.

- In general a partner who's smaller then him would make him feel much more powerful then one he has to look up to, but in his clothes?

- I'm trying to keep it SFW here but yeah 🤨

- If you were wearing his pants and they were super huge on you he'd probably be annoyed though, they'd be getting messed up due to dragging on the ground which is something that'd bother him.

- In public (assuming your relationship is known of. Would be an absolute no to wearing his clothes out if you weren't known about) he would be beaming with pride about it.

- Like Lucifer, it'd cement you as being his partner.

- He'd probably be protective possessive of you in his clothes. If someone tries to even talk to you while you're in his clothes, he would likely be fuming.

- Vox's hands would also likely be on you at all times if you were out with him and wearing his clothes.

Velvette

- If it was anything that was dragging on the floor or getting even slightly crinkled if you wore it she would throw an absolute fit about it.

- She's way too particular about her clothes being treated properly.

- If you're treating her clothes well or if it's something she cares about less? She would probably think you looked very postable like that - which is a good thing in her terms of course.

- Would absolutely want to put photos of you online wearing her stuff. Especially if you both ended up doing an outfit swap with each other due to it.

- Couple stuff gets a ton of likes, and she wants to show you off like the fine arm candy you are to be her partner!

- Probably would not want you wearing her clothes out, though. You would be wearing clothes that fit you or looked perfect for your body type - not hers.

- Most you would get would possibly be her jacket out in public, but even that's unlikely, considering she always picks out every article of clothing and accessory perfectly for her outfits.

Carmilla

- Carmilla would likely see you wearing her clothes and just chuckle, asking you what you thought you were doing exactly.

- She wouldn't feel much of which way about it, just that you were incredibly cute trying to strut around like she usually would in her shirt.

- May try to dance with you since you "so obviously want to be in her shoes"

- slowly guiding you through steps with her through the tango, carefully leading with a look of pure delight on her face.

- Would kiss you on the forehead afterwards.

- Out in public she wouldn't want you to wear her clothes at all however.

- She's the main weapons dealer in hell, a lot of people want her head on a plate for that.

- She would just not feel comfortable having you possibly be mistaken as her or targeted by those people over that.

Rosie

- She wouldn't feel any which way about it either.

- But, she would of course tell you you look absolutely darling.

- Rosie would absolutely be one to pat you on the head about stuff. This included.

- If it's not one of her good dresses or skirts you're wearing.

- She's nowhere near as outright rude about it as Velvette or Vox, but she will firmly ask that you don't wear her good dresses so they don't drag on the ground.

- Outside of clothes, she does like to give you her hat though because it's comically large on your head and it's really cute to her.

- There is absolutely a photo of you with her hat on your head, it falling into your eyes as you smile at the camera.

- In public she wouldn't mind if you wear her clothes out, but she would be scared you would trip over as her skirts are very long.

Angel

- Angel is another one who would love to see you wearing his clothes, not for underlying lewd reasons (surprisingly), but because he thinks you look awesome in his outfits.

- It brings him joy in a way he can't quite describe to see you in his stuff.

- He knows his getups are cool, and to have you, his partner, in his really cool outfits? He loves it.

- Also finds it funny too to see you so small in comparison to clothes and tripping over yourself trying to parade around in some of them.

- Out in public he would probably be encouraging you to wear his stuff because he just likes seeing you wearing his clothes.

- Provided you stay close to him out in public though.

- He's got some insane fanboys and if they saw his boyfriend in his clothes? Shit would hit the fan.

- Without him he wouldn't let you wear his stuff out. Just would put you in danger.

Alastor

- If you were wearing his clothes, it would be because he allowed you to. Ie. Leant you his coat if you were cold.

- In the case of him letting you borrow his stuff, he'd likely just laugh at how oversized it was on you.

- He'd likely say you look darling in it as well, similarly to Rosie but inherently teasing rather than loving like her.

- He sees people smaller then him and likes to pick on them for it a bit.

- Also would probably try hold it over your head as his 'kindness' to you later

- If you showed up in his clothes (not an imitation but his clothes) without permission, though, he'd be incredibly unhappy about that.

- This man seems like the type to hate people touching his possessions without permission, so you showing up in his stuff wouldn't be cute or even him laughing at you - he'd be pretty angry about it and straight up tell you to change.

Sir Pentious

- He'd get all googly eyed about it.

- Would see you swimming in his coat because it's made to fit him as someone with a snake tail instead of legs and just wanna sweep you in close to him.

- He has pretty low self-esteem about himself so seeing you wearing his clothes is pretty much you telling him even more that you don't actually think he's a loser who's kind of gross like a lot of other people in the series think he is.

- Thinks it's just the sweetest thing and likely wants you to wear his clothes often after the first time he sees you in them.

- Somewhat flustered by you wearing them around others and in public because he thinks you two doing PDA/openly expressing you are a couple is somewhat scandalous, but he also does like it very much.

- Would probably try bullshit about him not liking it that much, but it's obvious as it gets.

Some fluff for today 🙏

My requests are still shut rn but they should be opening soon. I'm gonna be trying to finally get chapter 2 of why So blue out tomorrow or the day after. Likely the day after bc it's my birthday tomorrow and I'm doing stuff 🫶

Masterlist

[skyesdaisys]

Hi! Love your work, could you write a dick Grayson fanfic abt him and a quiet female reader warming up to each other (set between season 1 and 2)?

yes, of course!!!! god, i've wanted to write for titans on here so bad i just didn't have the inspo so thank you<333

—

talk to him

titans dick grayson x fem!reader

sunmary: you weren't exactly much of a people person. especially since you were 1 of 2 adults living in a huge tower in san francisco, watching over 3 kids you don't really talk to outside of training. and the only other adult being closed off so who knows what'll happen when he decides to talk to you out of no where

cw: not much, there's just some fluff with a teaspoon of angst because of communication issues (they both suck at small talk and beyond)

a/n: idc what anyone says about this show, it's given me so much comfort and a lot of fun and likable characters. so i'm so glad i can write for them as long as you guys send requests for them. as well as other characters from other shows like yellowjackets and etc. also i love dick grayson, even though he can be a bit annoying in this show (that i can admit) but he's hot so ajsjfndmfmf. also, i'm sorry it took sooooo long, writers block got to me badly these past few months, so i apologize if it's cringey and awkward. but i do give the benefit the doubt here because this story is suppose to be like that (also the fact i'm projecting my "bad at small talk" trait here). two grown adults that can't seem to have a normal conversation, like at all

after the trigon incident you were dragged in by circumstance, you were the only other adult to volunteer to help dick with... whatever he was doing. you didn't have any life to go back to anyways, and you made a connection to everyone else so why part ways and it be unlikely to see them again. sure, you weren't particularly close with the kids, but, what are you supposed to do in order to bond with them? so that left dick in titans tower, but he wasn't as much of a talker as you outside of training.

everyday for the past few weeks have been, eat, train, sleep, repeat on a loop, no 'how was your day' questions, because the days are always the same so there wasn't any point of asking. and you could tell the kids were getting bored of it, very fast, and you could not blame them. being stuck in a repeating pattern with nothing else happening started getting old after the first couple weeks. so, you didn't really know how long it would take til something changed, it couldn't be like this forever.

during this time, you admired the grayson from afar, he was attractive, what else could you say? you weren't an idiot. and you also were aware of his previous entanglements with kory and you didn't wanna be involved in that. and, well... you felt like a teenage girl having a crush on a guy who was going through some shit, so it was better not to bother him.

and not being much of a talker doesn't make the conversation about feelings be any better. like, maybe this was attraction and nothing more? you were aware of the difference between liking someone physically and liking them emotionally (specifically in a romantic sense). but even as you admired him, you learn things about him, paying attention to the little things. deep down, he cared for other people, if he didn't, he wouldn't have taken rachel in and helped her, and he wouldn't have done the same for gar or jason either. people just have their own way of showing their love and care.

but your admiring wasn't exactly subtle. rachel had noticed it when you were looking at dick from across the room, talking with jason. the roth wasn't sugarcoating anything when it came to this, "you keep staring, you're probably gonna be capable of shooting lazers from your eyes." and you knew she was joking around but she caught you by surprise, making you face the young girl. "why is it any of your business?"

"because it's kind of sad seeing you pine for him like this." she points out, "and also, gar and jason made a bet whether or not you'd confess. we have eyes, you know?" and she lightly bumped your shoulder with hers with a smile on her face, "and i'm sure dick feels the same way, though he's not very good of showing it."

"that is ridiculous." you shake your head, "one, i don't like him. not like that. i just think he's cool."

"are you sure about that?" the roth rose her eyebrow, "talk to him." but you were not moving from where you were so rachel decided to take matters into her own hands, she then gave you a push (a literal one) towards him, and now you couldn't run away. all you could say was, "hey..."

"hey." he responded. jason just stood there awkwardly in between the two of you, "okay, well uh—" he pretends to look at a watch that's not even on his wrist, "look at the time, i must be going." and he had immediately ran out of there before dick tried to stop him. there was an silent pause and you were trying to figure out what to say, but before you could, he asks, "do you want some coffee?" all you did was nod. after that, there was even more silence, you two haven't had a conversation that wasn't training related in like, a while. it just felt like you were both strangers who didn't know each other nor were you fond of one another.

"you're just as bad at small talk as i am, huh?" you finally had spoken up. and dick just shook his head, "i don't know what you're talking about, i know how to make small talk."

"oh really?" you rose up your eyebrow, "okay mr. 'i know how to make small talk', what do you wanna talk about? and please, don't let it be training related. because if i have to hear you talk about that one more time, my head is gonna explode." you tried to look irritated, but he could notice a small smile on your face. then he immediately went into the 'deep, emotional' stuff, "you never told me why you came here. you just did, and i'm surprised you stuck around as long as you have."

you answered it anyway, because why not, "well, it's not like i have anywhere else to go." you set down your drink, making direct eye contact at him, "besides, the second i got here, and realized how big this place is and i have my own room... what, did you expect me to pass it up?" and you ended up making him laugh, which was surprising, "what is so funny, i'm just being honest." you were unsure why he was laughing, so you just took a sip of your coffee. he explained, "your honesty is refreshing, that's all."

"really?" and he nodded as a reply. you just sighed, taking your coffee and leaving. it's not like you had anything else to talk about and just sitting there would make it more awkward, so you just left. does it make it any less weird? absolutely not.

you guys didn't talk much after in the next few days, up until you decided to play hero on solo when you see a woman getting mugged by this guy in a mask. it was like one of the many movie cliches that you see brought into reality.

too bad it didn't turn out like expected, where you got shot in the leg. thankfully, the kids were able to track you down and bring you to the infirmary, gar was trying his best to patch you up and rachel was there for emotional support. as for jason... there wasn't much else he can do than just stand watch, up until dick had walked in with a worried expression, and the three teens immediately rushed out of there as soon as he walked in the room. you could've left if you wanted too but, obviously you couldn't.

"jesus fuck, you could've gotten yourself killed, what were you thinking?" all of his emotions were being let out in that moment, it was the most emotion you've seen him express towards you in like... ever. yet you couldn't help but be a bit sarcastic, "yeah, keep yelling... it's not like i'm literally a few feet away from you or whatever."

dick sat on the edge of the bed and started to explain, "sorry, it's just... when i heard what happened, i didn't know how to feel, or express it correctly." he gently set his hand on your injured leg, softly, "just if anything happened to you, i—"

"i'm tougher than you think, grayson." you reassured him, and you noticed a tiny smile creeping up on his face.

"i know it's just... i don't wanna lose anyone else."

you lean up a bit to set your hand on his shoulder, "i'm not going anywhere, dick." you then stopped for a second as you come to realize, "and we just had a conversation that didn't involve small talk. maybe i should get myself hurt more often." you were obviously joking at that last part, but dick's reaction to it was priceless, "i'm kidding. you are just... not what i expected."

"the feeling is mutual."

a part of you wanted to kiss him, that it felt right, but another part was saying how the timing of it all wasn't. and maybe these feelings you're having are actually real. because now, there was something in your heart that was growing that wasn't just admiration, and it felt weird, but a good weird.

maybe when the timing is right, they'll get to it, but until then, your growing friendship in the moment is enough for now.

[alicechess]

Yandere The Unknown x reader (part 1)

(Dead by daylight)

Note: don't question this

Also this is going to become a proper fanfic, I have no idea how long. I might connect it to my dbd fanfic.

Also I might edit it to make more sense, a lot of this has been written at 3am. Please ignore any errors they might be fixed at some point.

----

You found a new job a few weeks ago, working at a movie theatre. Honestly, you were kind of happy for it. Although the area was dirty and sticky, you were able to get a discount on the movies and snacks, which made it worth it for you. It isn't something you wanted for the rest of your life, but it was good enough for now. You moved to this new town a few months ago, and previously worked at a wreckers, but quickly moved on since the people working there were sketchy.

One of your old friends suggested to work here and of course you agreed. You got discounts and your friend everyday, she also helped you get the job. But not long after you started she disappeared. It was difficult, and you hoped every night she'd come back. The place hurt to be at sometimes, but maybe one day she'll walk in through the doors with that beautiful smile on her face.

You shook your head, you couldn't think about it now. You can't do anything to get her back. You just had to hope the police would take it seriously. But with the recent disappearances, you doubt they'd focus heavily on her. Within the past month there's been over 10 people who've gone missing. Maybe to them she's just a number. There's a few people who go missing every month. It's just... normal for this town. The police do what they can... I guess. But they never will focus for long on one person, because there's always another who goes within a few days or a week. There's just too many crimes happening that it's difficult to keep track. There's maybe a few thousand people who live there, and maybe two stations. So there needs to be more, but they probably won't bother. It's been the same two for maybe 20 years from what you'd heard.

You vacuumed the crumb covered floor, wiping down the chairs, trying to get it as clean as you could. You wanted to keep this job, at least till you could find something more stable. While mopping the linoleum floors, you listened to some music. You ignored the world around you. It was nice to have a distraction. Although cleaning wasn't a nightmare, you'd prefer not too. Some parts of the cinema was darker, your boss was always insistent on turning off the lights if you aren't in the room. It was a bit unnerving, but eventually you learnt to get used to it. It wasn't exactly welcoming, but it wasn't terrifying either.

Occasionally you'd take off your headphones for a few moments, as your ears started to get sore from the pressure. You wanted to get better ones, but you were in a somewhat small town, and there weren't a lot of electronic stores. It was annoying having the wire in the way, but you learnt how to deal with it. You decided to just let them sit on your shoulders, around your neck. Still hearing the music, although it was quieter. You hummed along, eventually sighing at peoples disgustingness. Was it so hard just to put their rubbish away?

Once the bin was full, you picked it up and went outside. The dumpster was almost overflowing, but it wasn't your job to empty that. You threw the bag on top, trying to prevent it from falling down. Once it was stable, you were about to walk inside when you heard someone voice from in the parking lot.

"Can... can you please help me? I'm stuck!" The voice sounded wrong, it's tone was off as it lacked any emotion behind the words he was saying.

You were about to walk over, but remembered all the disappearances. You felt a loud tinge of guilt. "I'm... I'm sorry I can't! I'll get the police to help." You yelled back.

"P-please I really need help!"

You gulped and stepped back, "I can't, I promise the police will come soon!"

You ran inside slamming the door, hearing the cries begging for help coming closer and closer. You were confused, if they were stuck how were they getting closer... Something wasn't right. The situation made your skin crawl. You ran to the phone which sat on the desk. You dialed the number for emergency services and asked for a police officer. You explained the situation, and made it sound more normal as you didn't want to be labelled crazy. You said it rather simply, that there was someone saying they were stuck but something seemed off and suspicious and you wanted the police to take care of it.

While you waited for the police, you sat on one of the chairs at the front desk, fidgeting while listening to music, trying to prevent yourself from panicking. You wanted to keep level-headed. You sang the song quietly, tapping your fingers on the desk. You laid your head back and closed your eyes. You kept one side of the headphone off your ear, so you could hear the police knocking and let them in.

Once they arrived, they checked the whole building and area surrounding it, eventually finding nothing. They also checked the security cameras which showed only you, nothing else. The footage showed no one in the parking lot or anywhere else.

This made you doubt yourself even more.

--

Eventually you went home and laid in bed. You struggled to fall asleep as all you could think about was what happened and the fear you felt. You kept replaying it over and over, analyzing any details you could remember. You remembered how off the voice was, how almost inhuman it was.

You brushed it off, maybe it was because of a lack of sleep. You weren't sure anymore. You tried to stop thinking of it because you really needed to sleep. But it kept squeezing through the cracks and coming back into your mind.

Your eyes slowly closed, and your breathing softened. You were so tired, so, so tired. You just wanted to rest.

Eventually, you started to hear light tapping against the window and low whispers of which sounded like it came from hundreds of people. You thought it was just because you were exhausted. It went away after a few minutes, leaving you to think you were right.

However, after tossing and turning for another 30 minutes, you were rustling in the bushes and voices near your bedroom. You shot out of bed, then peered slightly through the crack of the curtains.

You saw a head peeking out of the bushes, the main thing you noticed about the being was it's lifeless, black hole like eyes. It had no emotion and truly seemed inhuman regardless of its humanoid-like stature.

You felt your stomach drop and your heart stopped for a few moments. It twitched its head every few seconds, every time, it made your stomach twist more and more, the anxiety and fear filling you to the brim. You couldn't look away, it was almost hypnotic and left you in an awful trance with its horrifying appearance.

"Can you help me? I'm... Stuck." It said without its face moving. Your eyes widened in utter horror.

"I'm scared, please help me." It said with a loud snap of its neck, finally pulling you out of your trance. You fell onto the ground with a loud thud, you rubbed your back attempting to soothe the pain. After about a minute you got up, and went back to the curtain.

You watched as the legs of the creature disappeared from your line of sight. You weren't sure if you truly saw that, maybe you were truly going insane you couldn't tell anymore.

---

You awoke in a cold sweat to your alarm blaring into your ears. You groaned, turning it off. You didn't remember crawling back into bed, was it a nightmare? You shook it off. It was just because of the fear you felt last night, it just made you bring it into your dreams.

You stood up and got ready. You looked awful, but attempted to fix it with some makeup. You wore some more dramatic makeup, especially around the eyes. You wore some eyeliner, smudged it a little and combed your hair. You then applied some lip gloss and grabbed some random clothes from your closet.

You decided to call your boss. You knew it would be better to tell him yourself than someone else. You made it sound less bizarre and brushed it off. You didn't want to lose any shifts if he thought you needed a break.

After attempting to cover the tremble in your breath as you explained the situation, you walked to your car and headed to work. You've been taking longer shifts to earn more money. You would've left earlier yesterday if you could've but apparently that... Thing had to show up.

You stepped out of the car, the harsh winter wind making you shiver. You felt ill as you walked to the door. You had to go in though, you knew there was no other choice.

You took a deep breath and opened the door, you were swapping shifts with one of your coworkers. Your shifts often start from 6pm to 12am. The theatre often closes at 10pm, which then gives you a couple hours to do some cleaning. Sometimes you do have to stay overtime, however, which can be a bit frustrating.

As you stepped inside your coworker greeted you. Another one was working as the cashier, which you also did but in between movies you gave a quick clean to the theatre room. The other coworker leaves at 10pm, which then leaves you alone in the building.

You plopped down next to them at the register, asking how busy it was.

They sighed, scratching the back of their head. "Surprisingly, not many. A lot of people are too scared to come down this way."

"Huh? Why?"

"I'm surprised you don't know. Last night there was another disappearance nearby. The police are on high alert and people are freaking out."

"How'd they figure out they disappeared so quickly? Doesn't it normally take longer?"

"Well... It makes more sense when you know that there were screams at 2am coming from their house."

"I guess so... Sucks knowing I'm gonna be in this creepy place in the middle of the night." You grumbled, leaning back on the chair.

"Better you than me man, I'd rather quit than do that shit."

"Wow so comforting of you, thanks." You rolled your eyes, drawing on a random piece of paper to distract you.

"Yeah yeah, at least I'm being truthful! Honestly it's kinda shitty boss is still telling you to continue your shift.

"Ehh, it's fine. I need the money anyway, so the more hours the better."

"Your time not mine, just keep an eye out."

"Was planning on doing that. Also, do you think boss is going to be more of a tight ass? I hate having to have half the place pitch black while cleaning. Not the safest or efficient way to do it."

"I'm sure more people will come in the next few weeks, let's just hope the next disappearance is further away."

"I can pray, maybe god will damn help me this time." You murmur, tapping the pencil against the desk.

----

Very few people came in, only maybe 20 compared to the normal 100 or more. It meant you had less to clean, so maybe... You'll be able to leave earlier. And won't have to be in this uncomfortable place anymore. You can only pray.

As the shift passed, some people were on edge, but overall seemed fine. One child must've overheard about what happened recently, as they were scared, their eyes wide, they grabbed their mothers arm and attempted to pull them away from this place.

The mother rolled her eyes, saying they were safe since it was daylight.

"Monsters don't come out during the day, darling. You'll be fine. And there's other people here, they'll make sure to protect you." She leans down and pats her daughter on the head. "I promise you'll be okay sweetheart, it's just a movie theatre."

----

As night crept in, you started to slowly dread being there more and more. It started to slowly consume your thoughts, of what could potentially happen if you were left alone once more in this building. You hoped that since there wasn't as many people, you had more of a chance of being able to clean faster. And therefore, be able to leave earlier.

As your coworker left and put the closed sign up, you felt your stomach sink. You were sure that you were fucked. But what else could you do? You had to do your job. You had to do it regardless of what you wanted.

You went to the janitors closet, pulling the strings which turned the light on. It was rather claustrophobic. Dust had built up after what seemed like years of not being cleaned. You grabbed the vacuum and left the closet, and went over towards the front desk. You started there, and moved towards the movie room then upstairs. You were hyper aware of your surroundings, you couldn't help but feel on edge after last night. Every tap on the windows or hum of the electricity made you feel sick.

Once you were done vacuuming, out started to mop the floors. You wanted to listen to music, but you were afraid of not hearing if someone was lurking inside. You wanted to know what was happening around you.

After you did the basics, you sat down for a bit and wondered if you could get away with leaving the theatre like this. It's not like your boss comes in everyday.

You eventually decided to leave the place as is, you didn't feel safe being in there any longer. You instantly grabbed your handbag, but noticed your keys were missing and so was your phone... And wallet.

You felt bile instantly run up your throat. That awful feeling of knowing you were truly at another's mercy started to suffocate you. You panicked, looking under the desk, in the janitor's closet... Nothing. It was nowhere. You attempted to calm yourself down, saying you just misplaced it. That's all you did. There was nothing lurking around the corner watching your every move waiting to pounce and kill you.

You were fine. Just fine.

How the hell was everything missing? There's no way it all fell out when it was closed, and that it's been in the same spot since you got here.

You rushed around the building, searching everywhere for your stupid belongings. And in the middle of the already awful experience, you started to hear tapping on the windows. It was slow and intentional.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

You went over towards it, moving the curtains. Nothing was there, but the bushes did move slowly. Those same, dead eyes pearing at you. That's when you realised everything you've witnessed was real.

Something was after you.

And you had no idea what the fuck it was, it definitely wasn't human. No humans neck twists like that, no human has the void-like holes, where no ounce of light can go through.

It slowly crept out of the bush, it's mangled limbs moving in unnatural, inhuman positions as it came towards the window.

It has already came in before, why the fuck was it trying to come in again? It could come in before, what now? Was there more than one? What did it want? Did it just get off on scaring you?

You stepped back, feeling like how you did the night before.

"No... No no. No." You murmured, grabbing the phone that hung on the wall. You attempted to dial the emergency services, but the lines were down. You shook your head, you had to have something to defend yourself from that... Thing. All these awful thoughts came into your mind. Of what it could do, of what it wanted.... And what it's true form was.

You heard popping sounds from the other side of the window.

"Can... You help me?"

Those distorted voices sent a shiver down your spine. That unnatural, disgusting sound.

You slowly glanced over your shoulder at the monster. It had the most awful, disgusting grin which showed all its teeth. It's disfigured head and body contorted as it started to tap on the window again.

"I... Need your... Help."

It said as it cocked its head.

"I am... Scared." It's mouth twitched wider. Both it's hands were placed on the window. Its face squished against it.

"I'm so scared."

If the situation wasn't serious, you would've laughed at the irony.

"Stay away from me!"

You yelled, grabbing a pair of scissors from the drawer. You pointed it towards the creature, even though you knew it was futile.

"Stay away from me!"

It mimicked, the dread which formed was sickening. It... Said the same thing. The two voices at once made it even more horrifying. The distorted sound triggered you more. It said things which were already unnerving, but it mimicked you in your tone, just slightly distorted was utterly mortifying. The fear you felt that night here and at home could never compare to this.

You decided that you had to get far away from this thing. You couldn't sit there forever, even another second was enough to make you want to crawl into a hole and rot. A being like that shouldn't exist.

You ran up the stairs, you felt it's... Sockets following your figure, analysing every movement. You went into the bathrooms and slammed the door shut. You locked the door, then moved over to the window. You glanced outside, and saw that it was clear.

You heard fast, but light footsteps coming from outside. You knew it was toying with you. You knew it enjoyed the chase and it made you feel sick.

The tapping continued once more, but this time at the bathroom door.

"I'm scared... Why won't you help me?"

"What do you want from me?!" You screamed back, tears welling up in your eyes as you stared at the door.

"I'm stuck."

The more you listened to it, the more its voice sounded normal and close to human. You rapidly shook your had, murmuring to yourself.

"No, no this isn't happening."

It sounded so normal, its panic was so evident and felt real. Earlier it didn't, what was going on?!

You felt dizzy, your vision started to become slightly blurry. You collapsed onto the ground, in front of one of the bathroom stalls.. Your head thumped, the pain made you groan. You knew you had to get out, that's the only thing you could do. You weren't sure what was going on anymore. You had to get out.

You slowly stood up, holding onto the edge of the stall. You moved towards the window, contemplating how you were going to get down. There were bushes underneath, but you knew you were screwed if you landed wrong. There were no other options unless you wanted to face that thing. You slowly opened the window, attempting to be quiet just in case the... Thing will hear. To your relief it made no noise. You slowly placed your legs over, holding onto the edge tightly. You took a deep breath then pushed yourself off.

You groaned as your body hit the floor hard, causing pain to radiate through you. you groaned, knowing your body was going to be covered in bruises. You hissed as you slowly sat up. You brushed the twigs off of your shirt, then used the brick wall to attempt to help yourself up. You moved around the outside of the building, attempting to be quiet.

You knew you couldn't use your car, you had no idea how to hotwire it. The only option you had was to walk home, well, better run.

You started to sprint away, ignoring every aching muscle and joint. You gritted your teeth as you forced your legs to move. You occasionally glanced over your shoulder, and to your relief, saw nothing there. You started to slow down when you felt safer since you were further away from that thing.

You leaned over, placing your hands on your knees as you took deep breaths. You felt dizzy, but knew you had to get home. After a minute, you started to walk again. As you walked down the street, occasionally you spotted cars driving by or the really odd person or two walking by. You always held the scissors tight, regardless of how much it dug into your skin.

Eventually, you got to your home. You searched your pockets for your keys, then remembered you lost them at the theatre. You hoped that thing wouldn't find them. You went to the backyard and grabbed them from under one of the pots. You unlocked the door, then went inside.

You placed some chairs behind the front and back door under the handle. You then slipped the latch so unlocking wouldn't work. You made sure you did everything you could to prevent the thing from coming inside.

You felt relieved once you glanced around knowing that you were safe.

So you could finally have a good sleep, you went to have a warm shower. You washed away all the dirt from your skin, watching as the dirt slowly went down the drain. You sat in the warmth, soaking up the comfort from it for as long as you can. You sat in the shower for a while till the hot water ran out, forcing you to go back into the cold. Reminding you of the bitter reality you'll have to face eventually.

You got dressed then went to the kitchen, grabbing a knife from the utensil drawer. You tapped the point, dragging your finger across the blade. You wanted to make sure it'd actually be useful if you needed to defend yourself.

You locked your bedroom door, making sure the latch would be strong enough to keep anything out. The hairs on your skin were constantly standing. Every shadow and movement puts you on edge. Your own home didn't make you feel safe, only the slightest bit safer than if you were to be outside.

You walked over to your bedside drawer, then placed the knife on top of it.. You left the lamp which sat beside you on. You pulled open one of the draws and grabbed one of your old alarms since your phone was lost.

You haven't used it for so long it took a while to figure it out. Once you set it, you laid down in bed. You stared at the ceiling, getting dragged into your thoughts. You occasionally focused on shadows that danced on your walls, wondering if one of them will ever be the creature which tortured your emotions hours before.

----

[ilikekidsshows]

Ok. Something I see in the ml fandom sometimes is really starting to bother me. It's not common, per se, but I've seen it enough times now that I'm about to lose it. But people don't deserve me yelling at them/on their fics, so I'm venting here instead. XD As always, feel free to ignore this/not respond if you'd prefer. I'll try to be vague, but I also understand if this is...too specific.

So. With that out of the way. I get near livid these days whenever I see an 'Adrien as an abusive romantic partner to Marinette' AU. Like to an extent I understand, it's an alternative universe. Non canon. Exploration of a "what if." Don't like don't read, yadda yadda. And generally I just...move on.

But also. At the same time. It just makes me so ANGRY. To know this exists. That multiple people can have the absolute gall to take a *canon* abuse victim. Who is sweet and patient and kind (genuinely, but also because he has to be, if you subscribe to the fawning interpretation). And turn him into a manipulative abuser, the unambiguous villain of a story. (And yeah, I've seen the argument that abuse victims can sometimes go on to become abusers themselves, but that doesn't really justify writing Adrien specifically this way? It's still...grossly out of character? Not to mention a bleak and insulting trajectory for his journey as a victim?)

But even better....they take a character who is canonically being gaslit, more or less, by his girlfriend into glorifying his abuser and downplaying the abuse he experienced (I know the term isn't exactly correct but gdi calling it mere "lying" is also an understatement). And then say, you know what. What if we do a switcheroo! And make that same girlfriend -his- abuse victim instead! Let's once again make it about how terrible *she* has it, because canon doesn't already focus on Marinette being upsette enough apparently. It just...leaves such a poor taste in my mouth???

To be clear, these aren't Marinette salt fics, some sort of weird "see how -you- like it" thing. No, these are "Marinette is a victim who will ultimately triumph" stories, not necessarily written by people who even dislike Adrien (if the stories were explicitly Adrien salt I wouldn't have read/come across them in the first place).

And yeah, I understand fan-fiction is often OOC and/or can be a way to deal with one's IRL struggles. But dear GOD does it piss me off like nothing else when someone chooses the *canon victim* to be the Big Bad that the self-insert character gets to overcome. It's plain insulting, is what it is. Long story short, leave Adrien alone and choose a different freaking character to be the abusive jackass!

....you know, I'm think ultimately it wouldn't bother me so much, if it weren't for fandom's much more widespread tendency to indulge in Marinette wangst and act like she's the epitome of human suffering, often at his expense or while ignoring his struggles. So I guess this sub-genre of abuser!Adrien is the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

Anywho, rant over XD I think I've calmed down a bit, so if you read this, thank you for providing a space for me to vent and I hope it wasn't too annoying!

---

This blog does double time as an analysis and vent blog, so sending in pet peeves is completely allowed and even encouraged. Yeah, like, even if Adrien wasn't an abuse victim, seeing a trend of “abuser AUs” for any character you're a fan of is annoying. When something annoying gets combined with this fandom trend being basically the culmination of things pushed in canon, it turns downright aggravating. 

Because that's really the thing that makes it more than just another case of basic “well, we need someone to mistreat our lead so that she can overcome hardships”; it has its roots in something actually harmful going on in the show and fandom. Adrien's victimhood constantly gets sidelined, or he's demonized for his trauma responses, so a fic trend where he continues the cycle of abuse just comes across as even more victim blaming.

Meanwhile, Marinette's petty grievances are treated as signs of how she's the biggest victim on the block, she's suffering so much more than the literal abuse victims, so a fic having her be literally victimized by the very abuse victim whose victimhood she commandeers in canon is both very expected for this fandom but also really aggravating.

I’m saying I get it.

[pseudophan]

wait i'm new here and i'm curious, if you're okay talking about it what happened before in the uk / why did you move back?

longass story but i've complained about this whole ordeal so much on here i think if i do the whole thing again people will get mad at me like omg we get it. anyway here it is again:

i moved to england (milton keynes specifically which all brits find very funny) with my mum in 2016 to go to high school because norway requires you to do six thousand subjects even if you "specialise" in something and i just did not have that in me. every subject combined with an instant fail if you miss more than like three lessons? absolutely the fuck not. in mk i did a level 3 creative media btec which is known as a bit of a joke because it won't make you kill yourself as much as a-levels, but lowkey i enjoyed it SO much. i've heard media btecs are very hit or miss depending on your tutors but mine were really good! half my class was only there because they flunked out of their a-levels and wanted something easy, but by like week two i'd say most of them were really into it

after college i started a film and tv production course at uni in london, none of the fancy unis because rip my grades lmao but it was a good time. year one went alright, but then when i applied for a loan for the second year months went by and i didn't hear anything until literally DECEMBER, halfway through the year, when they got back to me and were like oh sorry you don't qualify for the loan. oh and we're also taking back the money you got for the first year, so now you're in immediate debt to us for that and to the uni directly for the months you just did where we just couldn't be bothered to tell you you didn't qualify for any funding. hope this helps!

basically because i'd already lived in the uk for a couple of years before university i could apply as an english student rather than an international one, which is much cheaper so that was great. i also, IN THEORY, qualified for a loan through the student loans company, which is, IN THEORY, much easier and less annoying than the norwegian one because you don't start paying it back right away, you can wait until you're actually making x amount of money. all good. the problem was that the only reason we could afford to just fuck off and move to england in the first place was that my mum got to keep her norwegian job and work from home, meaning we weren't sure if i DID actually qualify for the loan because the way she was paying taxes was like kind of confusing. i still don't know exactly how it works, but i guess you pay it all to one country and then they split it? cause you're effectively paying taxes to both norway and the uk but you're not supposed to have to pay More so idk. who knows. not me. but yeah so we called them Multiple times to ask if i was in fact eligible for a loan and every time they were like yeah it's no problem. my bad for not getting it in writing by the way, always do that. then like i said they fully accepted my loan for the first year after looking through all our documents so clearly it WAS in fact fine, or at least enough people working there believed it was.

i have no idea what actually happened with the second year application, or which one got evaluated wrong. might have been the first one, might be the second, i'll probably never know. the real kicker though is that if they just got back to me earlier i could have gotten a norwegian loan and it would probably be fine, but because they were months late i only had like two weeks until the application deadline for the norwegian one and because the whole situation was so complicated and confusing, and i was struggling really hard with any paperwork or essays because of my super cool then-still-undiagnosed adhd, i just didn't have it in me to fight it. i was like whatever, guess i have to just drop out. didn't actually have to drop out, they suspended me for unpaid fees. i kept going until they turned off my key card though and banned me from campus lol, my tutors were just like eh keep showing up until it doesn't work anymore, it's not like they can suspend you out any more 😭

fuck knows what my plan was after dropping out. in my head i was like, well i can probably get a shitty job for a bit and yeah it probably won't go very well but it's not like i've tried, who knows! and then uhhhh covid happened LMFAO, so nevermind that shit! turns out getting a job in covid lockdown london is Difficult. my mum moved back in the middle of covid and a few months later i had to follow and now half a decade later here we are </3

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 7.5

(not a real chapter, i just decided to keep analyzing until i hit some kind of satisfying conclusion)

this is a special episode of "sam reads capri," in which i comment a bit more on chapter 7 so i can hopefully move forward and evaluate chapter 8 without constantly getting stuck on 7 again.

update after making the additional commentary: holy fuck, i think i solved it. to my satisfaction, at least. i'm really glad i did this.

i have noticed that capri chapters are often self-contained in terms of themes. like, the scenes that are stitched together are done so for a reason. in the case of chapter 7, this is especially interesting. we get the laurent slave stuff, the party, and then the intense lamen argument on the field where auguste died. at first i was almost annoyed that these two situations were put next to each other, because the laurent slave stuff bothered me so much. but then i began to wonder WHY they weren't separated into different chapters. what do they have in common, both thematically and in terms of my personal reading experience? to figure it out, i first have to summarize what happens even each individual scene of the chapter. here are my findings:

chapter 7 scene 1

damen and laurent approach marlas with their combined army. have some super awkward and stunted dialogue about staying in separate apartments. damen has an opportunity to reference a snarky joke, but doesn't. there is so much distance and hesitation, especially compared to their previous dynamic in prince's gambit (they shared a tent like every night and spoke very closely) and even captive prince (they hated each other so they just kinda said whatever the fuck). damen is extremely apprehensive about interacting with laurent in any kind of meaningful or personal way, and is very consciously restraining himself, as well as being restrained by his role as king.

chapter 7 scene 2

inside the fort, damen and laurent are immediately jumpscared by a hallway of slaves. like right in front of my salad. damen, who has already been experiencing massive discomfort and disgust with his own nation's customs, of which he briefly was a victim, continues to turn the slaves down. this is seen as disrespectful, but he's the king of akielos, so it's fine. laurent, meanwhile, seems not even to hesitate before stepping forward and choosing a slave like a kid in a pet shop ("i like that one"). the slave, isander, very obviously looks like damen, which damen notices immediately. laurent asks a little more about the customs of slavery, like the first night, and makes eye contact with damen as he says that he never got to command his previous bed slave (damen). then he asks the slave keeper to teach him how. the keeper says the slave doesn't speak veretian, but "to command any act of service is to honor a slave. the more personal the service, the greater the honor." aka: "he wants you to boss him around." laurent says "really?" and has isander come over, has him kiss his boot how damen had once (reluctantly) done, except isander is totally into it. laurent praises isander, isander's happy, and it makes everyone around them pleased, because the veretian prince is engaging with akielon customs. damen meanwhile has a salty thought about these people being stupid for thinking laurent would actually use the slave as intended, or even respect their customs, because there's no way laurent would actually fuck that guy, or any of these slaves. and damen would be better at undressing laurent anyway. laurent then has to get one more dig in, asking if isander can serve him in the baths, famously (between damen and laurent) a place where damen was embarrassingly turned on by his own attraction to laurent and punished for it. and laurent also says he's pleased by the idea of isander serving him at the party, also something damen did in arles. so basically, laurent just chose a slave that looked exactly like damen, gave him all the praise and affection he didn't give past slave damen and certainly not present king damen, promised a rebound speedrun of their greatest hits at arles in front of damen, all with complete composure and the plausible deniability of diplomacy.

chapter 7 scene 3

damen does not feel like this is a homecoming. the slaves make him uncomfortable. he is acutely aware of laurent in the queen's chambers to his king's chambers, and imagines isander tending to him (but not as well as damen could). he specifically imagines isander being asked to the baths, being flushed with pride to be of service, and then damen curls his hands into fists and thinks about politics instead.

damen arrives at the function to see laurent looking cunty as ever with isander beneath him, being affectionate and shameless and vulnerable. laurent calls damen "brother" as he approaches, knowing damn well that damen is not thinking of brotherly things at the moment. damen feels supremely awkward in his seat next to laurent, without his own slaves, and the awareness of everyone in the room that he'd once been the slave at laurent's feet. one of his generals then questions damen's loyalty to akielos and implies that he's doing favors for laurent because of their sexual relationship. damen just goes straight to denial and dismissal, but laurent decides to show off his cuff and own the fact that he tapped that, damen was his slave, even though damen is the guy who killed his brother. so people really should not fuck with laurent, or question their leadership. it seems to work, and earn him the respect of the generals. food comes out, damen awkwardly feeds himself and the arrangement displeases everyone. damen observes that isander, who is feeding laurent by hand, is clearly in love with him. this, we can assume, is not unrelated to the fact that damen started catching feelings for laurent back in book 2 when he fed laurent by hand. laurent asks a slave to play damen's favorite song, which mentions a guy killing another guy to take his city and has the word "brother" in it. laurent somehow knows this is damen's favorite, perhaps informed by the slaves, who have played it many times for damen before. damen doesn't want to hear it now. damen watches jord tells loyse, aimeric's mom, that he's sorry for her loss, which she gives diplomatic "token attention" despite the very personal nature of the situation. this is similar to damen and laurent's earlier strained interactions. damen then summons jord over for a conversation that basically amounts to jord saying "laurent knew who you were the whole time? damn that's crazy. wild that he really trusted you anyway, because he definitely still did. and he didn't trust anyone else before that, so you must have really been special." damen of course chooses this moment to look over at laurent, who is now basically cuddling isander as isander feeds him grapes, playing with isander's not-unlike-damen's curly hair. damen considers isander to be "a prince's new favorite." everyone starts leaving the party have sex with their slaves (i hate it here) and laurent does the same gesture with isander. damen remembers that time torveld told him, laurent's slave, that he (torveld) was jealous, and would trade places in a heartbeat. damen then excuses himself to chase laurent, but only finds a very confused isander, who says that laurent immediately abandoned him to take a ride once the crowd stopped looking. damen knows that laurent has gone to the field where his brother died to clear his troubled head, and follows.

chapter 7 scene 4

damen arrives at the field. laurent is there, more vulnerable than usual in terms of his clothing. laurent is surprised to see damen there for a split second, but then ices over. damen says that he thought laurent might want a friend, and we know that it's because jord unintentionally reminded damen that he's the only person laurent has let himself get close to since auguste's death, even though he's the guy who killed auguste. damen knows this isn't an easy place for laurent to be and wants to support him, even if it's awkward. he knows nobody else can support laurent, the way he can. laurent, meanwhile, says they can fuck if damen wants, and insists that he knows damen does. that it's all he really wants. laurent tries to goad him into admitting it, and damen tries to talk to laurent about his feelings about auguste. laurent deflects again and damen accepts that they're not having the auguste conversation right now. he earnestly admits that he hasn't been able to stop thinking about having sex with laurent. laurent deflects with a taunt/joke, damen is earnest again, although he does say jokingly that laurent fucked like a virgin. laurent deflects with a taunt/joke again, damen is earnest again again, adding that laurent also fucked like "you knew what you were used to." this particular earnest comment hits on laurent's sexual trauma with his uncle, although damen doesn't know it. laurent tells damen that he (laurent) can't take damen's "particular brand of honesty right now." damen earnestly tries to reassure laurent that he really did like sleeping with him, even if he (laurent) was inexperienced. laurent shoots back that damen would oh my god i get it. wait. i understand the chapter. I UNDERSTAND THE CHAPTER.

laurent says "you like it simple." in response to damen admitting that he liked sleeping with laurent, even though he's not that good at sex. "YOU LIKE IT SIMPLE" MEANS SLAVERY. laurent is referring to the things he's learned about akeilon slaves, things we heard him ask about earlier in the chapter: the first night, the fact that simply giving them a command is to honor them, the fact that they know and can play damen's favorite song by heart. laurent is referring to the simplicity of romancing/loving/fucking a person who has been trained to be romanced, loved, and fucked. a slave who "[knows] what [their masters are] used to." a person who isn't a real person at all. laurent has been observing how this system works all night, and this is him fully expressing his disdain in the most personal way possible. his disdain for akielon slavery, for his assumption of damen's preferences, and in a way, for himself. laurent knows that he could never be an simple option for damen, just how damen spent so much of this chapter holding himself back because knows he isn't an simple option for laurent. nothing about them is simple, in the way things are for a master and a slave. they can't be, and they shouldn't be.

but still... damen and laurent, in this scene, both wish things could be different from how they are. they wish things could be simpler, sweeter, so they could truly fit into each other's lives. but laurent has to be a cold bitch, in order to prove himself in his position. he can't very well say that he and damen wear those cuffs because they belong to each other. and honestly, i don't even think laurent believes that damen wants him, beyond him being a good fuck, as evidenced by the way he greets damen in this scene. being around isander probably made laurent feel insecure, knowing that isander is the kind of person damen fucks for recreation. laurent's proposition was basically a characteristically aggressive, control-freak way for laurent to offer his submission, because he thinks that's all damen really wants. i'm quoting sharp objects again: "sometimes when you let someone do something to you, you're really doing it to them." it's a twisted reflection of the "purity" of akielon slavery, much more similar to the dynamic i think we can assume that laurent had with the regent. and that's really all laurent is used to, besides damen.

four words. "you like it simple." and the entire chapter makes sense. the reason why this scene was in this chapter, juxtaposed with the slavery theme, makes sense. laurent's morals make sense, even if he's still functionally a hypocrite. laurent is protective of victims, people he sees as helpless and powerless and wounded. technically, isander is helpless and powerless, and a victim of the akielon slavery system. but laurent doesn't see isander, the individual, as a powerless, helpless, wounded victim. both because he's well-cared for and perfectly happy in his ignorance, incompatible with the image of "victim" laurent sees in his younger self and nicaise, and because deep down, laurent is jealous of isander too.

damen's response to those four words, "you like it simple," originally felt like an overreaction to me. but now i think i better understand what it means. All the breath left his throat. He stood, stripped, unready for it. Will you use even that against me? he wanted to say, and didn’t. Laurent’s breathing was shallow too, holding his ground.”

the "that" is slavery. both the practice in general, and laurent's assumption based on his new knowledge about the practice. damen saw laurent learn about the first night, and the proper method of commanding a bed slave. and damen knows that laurent knows he's been sleeping with slaves since he was a teenager. so logically, damen's reaction is to the realization that laurent thinks that damen fucked him as if he was a slave, and not a person. imagining him as a pretty object, groomed and submissive, noticeably and shamefully falling short where he is inexperienced. just like the regent.

which explains laurent's reaction, too, with the shallow breating. being around the slaves and isander and marlas must have made laurent more upset than he let on—about damen, about his trauma with the regent, about auguste—and he's only letting himself and feel and express it all now.

damen then makes himself change subjects, back to auguste. because talking about laurent's brother who he killed is somehow less complicated than their sex life. damen tries to reassure laurent that it was a fair fight and auguste wasn't in pain. laurent, unsurprisingly, responds with a taunt/joke.

horses pass by. laurent asks if damen sent them, damen says no. they find themselves in the same exact position they'd been in when they had their first night of true familiarity and companionship, in nesson-elroy. this part of the lamen greatest hits speedrun, they do themselves. the first time where damen felt not like a slave, but like laurent's equal partner. after laurent emptily re-enacting all of those kinky arles moments with isander, this is the thing that's too sacred to be done by anyone but the two of them. pressing up against each other in the midst of an adventure, free from the expectations of their true identities, barely able to contain the emotion between them. oh my god am i tearing up? i'm tearing up.

they pull away and damen tells laurent he isn't cold. damen knows he isn't cold. laurent wasn't cold when he tortured damen out of vengeful rage for the brother he loved, and laurent wasn't cold when he made love with his brother's killer. earnest, as ever. correct and they both know it.

laurent says they have to leave because of the riders, and then walks the conversation back to something damen said earlier, about it being a fair fight with auguste: "a fair fight? no fight's ever fair. someone's always stronger." and they leave.

laurent believes that everything is a power struggle, with one person in control and another person submitting. the strong and the weak, simple as that. this belief extends to intimacy and sex, which makes sense given laurent's sexual history and the veretian court. however, throughout the series we constantly see laurent's cynical outlook clashing with damen's earnest determination to act honorably. which makes the fact that laurent is the one against slavery between them, and damen is the one who has historically happily partaken, deeply ironic. and it makes it even clearer to damen that, to laurent, not only did he kill auguste—but he also made auguste look like the weaker man, adding insult to injury.

laurent never wants to be the weaker man, but also believes that people like himself—people who are decidedly not simple or trained into submission, who refuse to make themselves vulnerable because that would make them victims—can never truly be loved. so he'll choose to settle for being fuckable instead, and that choice gives him control. that's... that's probably why he didn't tell damen the truth about what he knew, in prince's gambit. because laurent assumed that if he was his real self, in his true complicated unsweet nature, damen wouldn't have wanted him in the same way, or at all. and just like jord said, damen was the only person laurent could trust.

damen wants to believe that things can be simple; not in the cynical way laurent implied, but in a way that's entirely earnest and vulnerable. he wants to be able to love and be loved without needing to prove himself the stronger man. he doesn't want to hold back, or follow customs, or be with a partner who is trained to get everything right. he wants someone real—the entire person, not just a body to fuck. he wants adventure and inside jokes, to be a not-slave but not-not-a-slave. he wants nesson-elroy, not arles or marlas. he wants to belong to laurent because he chooses to belong to laurent, and he wants laurent to choose him back.

either i totally just nailed this chapter analysis the second time around, or i overthought so hard that i came up with an entire unintended interpretation and made myself tear up about it. either way, good game, chapter 7. now i feel like i can move on.

[yeetmeoutthewindowdaddy]

How Rolan got his nickname

A Tsundere Rolan (OVA)

This is how Rolan acquired the nickname that this Tav calls him in my fanfics about them.

(This isn't a part of the Tsundere Rolan series per say, but it is canon. I know OVA stands for "original video animation", but you get the gist of what I'm going for here, yeah?)

I've color coded the dialog for Rolan, Tav, Lia, and Cal for easier reading.

AN: Tav's normally high charisma flies out the window when he tries to flirt with someone who he has romantic feelings for. Tav vacillates between cocksure and bashful around Rolan. Boi is in loooove and doesn't know what to do about it. Lust, he can handle. But love? Panic.

TW: Lorroakan's abuse is mentioned.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rolan was trying to get some important work done.

Trying being the operative word, because Tav had somehow made his way up to the top of Ramazith's Tower where Rolan was attempting to work.

"Don't touch that." Rolan snapped at Tav without even bothering to look up from his papers.

Tav startled, sheepishly pulling his hand away from a particularly volatile looking alchemical concoction as he glanced at Rolan.

"How'd you know I was going to touch something when you weren't even looking at me?" He asked.

Rolan let out a long suffering sigh as he sat back, giving up on accomplishing anything productive while Tav was around.

"I asked myself 'what would a particularly droll child be getting into right about now?'" Rolan said in an acerbic tone.

Rolan stood and began to organize the papers which were strewn haphazardly arranged in an organized chaos across his desk.

"I've also set up wards that warn me whenever an idiot is near something they shouldn't be." Rolan added offhandedly, waving his hand in a dismissive gesture.

"Ouch, snapdragon. You're a bit spicier than normal today." Tav said with a good natured chuckle.

Rolan's tail spade flicked in annoyance.

"I wouldn't be acting 'spicier than normal' if you hadn't-" Rolan began before stopping himself.

"What did you just call me?" He asked in a low tone that would dissuade most people from continuing to poke the cave bear.

Tav was not most people.

"Snapdragon!" Tav cheerfully repeated, heedless of the owlbear nest he'd just walked into.

"...the flower?" Rolan asked, his anger temporarily waylaid by confusion. Did he like that Tav nicknamed him after a flower? Why was he blushing!?

"Yeah, it really suits you!" Tav responded in a jovial tone.

"It does?" Rolan asked, still undecided if he was irked or pleased.

"Yeah!" Tav said.

"Dragons are incredibly powerful, fearsome creatures and you're so powerful that with a snap" Tav snapped to emphasize his point, "you can take down an impressive number of enemies before they even knew what hit them!" Tav said with star-struck eyes.

Pleased with Tav's reasoning, Rolan's tail began to lazily sway from smug satisfaction.

"And snapdragons are my favorite flowers and uh, they're beautiful." Tav blushed, "Like you are." he bashfully added.

Rolan's tail loosely coiled in delight.

Maybe the bard wasn't as annoying as Rolan thought he was.

"Uh, not only that, dragons are known for being grumpy— like you are. And you snap at people a lot, so I thought that as a nickname it fit you perfectly!" Tav foolishly continued.

Rolan's tail began to lash in irritation.

The bard wasn't as annoying as Rolan thought he was, he was more annoying than Rolan thought he was.

"You don't know when to quit when you're ahead." Rolan humorlessly chuckled.

"Huh?" Tav questioned.

Rolan had just opened his mouth to tell that moron exactly how moronic he was when the whoosh of the teleportation portal being used interrupted him.

"Rolan! Some arsehole customer is refusing to speak with anyone who isn't you. I'd tell them to bugger off but they're wanting to buy some really expensive merchandise." Lia said in a clearly exasperated tone.

"Hey Lia!" Tav said, oblivious to how close he had just come to receiving the verbal lashing of a lifetime.

"Hi Tav!" Lia replied, happy to see the large man.

"I presume that they're refusing to speak with my simulacrum?" Rolan redundantly inquired, his ire shifting from Tav to the problem customer.

"Yep." Lia succinctly responded.

Rolan rubbed his temples as he sighed, "Zurgan."

Tav, sensing that Rolan was no longer in a mood to tolerate his presence, wisely decided to leave.

"Damn, that sounds annoying." Tav said as he inched his way over to the portal.

"Not quite as annoying as you are." Rolan spat.

"I'll leave you too it!" Tav continued, ignoring Rolan's barb.

"Bye Tav!" Lia cheerfully said.

"Goodbye, Tav." Rolan sourly said.

"Bye Lia!" Tav said as he meandered over to the portal.

"Bye snapdragon!" Tav flirtatiously said, winking at Rolan as he stepped through the portal.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Rolan yelled after him, but it was too late— the minotaur had already teleported away.

Lia had the grace to not tease her brother about the nickname for a whole 2 seconds before she started in on him.

"Snapdragon?" she teasingly inquired.

"Lia." Rolan said, shooting his sister a withering glare.

"You've a customer waiting for you, snapdragon." Lia replied in a teasingly-smug voice.

"Only Tav can call me that!" Rolan objected, desperate to prevent his sister from adopting the use of the nickname.

Rolan realized his mistake too late, as Lia quickly pounced on the opportunity to tease Rolan about his obvious crush on Tav. "Oho! I see, only Tav can call you that." She leered in delight.

"Zurgan." Rolan cursed, blushing.

---

Later that night Rolan was diligently working in his office when a soft knock interrupted him.

"Enter." He said distractedly.

Cal opened the door, a cup of tea in hand.

"Brought you some tea." He said in a soft voice.

"Thank you, just set it on the desk." Rolan replied, not looking up from his papers.

"I have an important letter for you as well." Cal said after he'd carefully set the teacup down on the only (mostly) clear portion of the desk.

That sentence made Rolan instantly look up from his work.

"What!? Why didn't you tell me that immediately?" He asked, vexed.

But Cal didn't say anything as he pulled an envelope from his breast pocket and handed it to his crabby older brother.

"Goodnight Rolan." Cal said as he left, a knowing smile on his face.

Rolan sighed, he loved his siblings— but they drove him mad.

The envelope was sealed with a wax signet that Rolan was sure he'd seen before, but he couldn't recall from where.

He carefully opened it and began to read.

Rolan, I am so sorry about earlier. It took me much longer than it should have, but I finally realized that I'd offended you when I likened you to a grumpy dragon. Earlier today when we were hanging out at the top of the tower I was worried that I had made you uncomfortable by comparing your beauty to snapdragons and so I kept talking in the hope that I would make you un-uncomfortable. Instead I opened my big, dumb, mouth and ended up insulting you. I like you. I really like you. I like you so much that I am thrown off-kilter and I panic. I am trying so hard to not mess things up, but I am way out of my depth when it comes to this sort of stuff— romance 'n such. Had I not been a foolish coward, I would've told you all the reasons why I think that snapdragons perfectly represent you. Snapdragons are my favorite flower, and you're my favorite person. I especially like red and purple snapdragons, and their specific meanings make me think of you. Snapdragons are not only beautiful, they also symbolize grace under pressure and inner strength in the face of hardship. Red snapdragons symbolize love, passion, desire, and energy. Purple snapdragons represent dignity, respect, spirituality, and a mastery of the Weave. Snapdragons have delicately soft petals which beautifully sway in the lightest of breezes. Yet in spite of their delicate appearance they are sturdy and resilient, standing tall and proud against harsh conditions— symbolizing both perseverance and resilience. The duality of their grace and strength represent the dualities of life itself. And you. Snapdragons represent exactly what I see when I look at you: Someone who is passionate and dignified. Someone who is determined and resilient. Someone who has put an incredible amount of work into mastering magic. You've gone through the actual hells to get to where you are today. You've faced horrors that would've broken most people. You didn't let the world's rothé-shit beat you down, you rose above it and came out stronger from it. You've achieved the impossible, you fulfilled your dreams despite all the obstacles you've faced. You've displayed immense inner strength in the face of many hardships. You did not let anything stop you from achieving your goals. Not prejudice, not poverty, not a lack of a "proper" education, not being banished from your home for the crime of being born a tiefling, and certainly not everything that came after it— you persevered through it all. You wouldn't allow anything to keep you from fulfilling your destiny. You wouldn't allow anything to stop you from giving your siblings a better life. The moment that made me fall for you was when you stood up to Lorroakan after you'd found out what he was planning to do to the Nightsong. I know that bastard abused you. I would've known even if you hadn't been covered in bruises— your normally vibrant eyes were dull when I first saw you behind the counter of Sorcerous Sundries. Yet there you were, standing tall and proud against the man who had tried very hard to snuff out the roaring fire that burns in you— and in that moment your soul was blazing brighter than the sun. Seeing you stand up to him, seeing you decide to do what was right even if it cost you everything you'd worked so hard for and then some— it was utterly mesmerizing. I knew that I liked you— but that moment was when I figured out that I really, really like you. I was so captivated by your display of bravery and candor that I nearly got scorched by the fire myrmidon that dickwad had summoned. I know that you don't always feel as though you've properly earned the title of 'Master of Ramazith's Tower'— but you have. We couldn't've defeated the Netherbrain without you and the improvements you made to your tower's defenses. You're amazing, snapdragon. I don't ever want you to doubt that I think the world of you. Even if you don't feel the same, it would be an honor to have you as my friend. — Tav p.s. I asked Cal to give you this letter, he seems less likely to snoop than Lia.

Rolan wasn't sure when he began to cry. This letter was the most heartfelt thing he'd ever received. He smiled as he dipped a quill in ink and began to write.

Tav, You're an absolute buffoon, but I feel similarly. Meet me at the tower tonight after the shop is closed. — Rolan Your snapdragon

Rolan was going to entrust Cal, who is indeed less likely to snoop than Lia is, to promptly deliver his very important note to Tav.

[fatuismooches]

Just thinking about reader getting hurt while out doing commissions or something and Dottore absolutely seething silently... Reader is just out gathering materials, nothing unusual. Until some random fatuus come along. Now I like to imagine Dottore tries to keep their relationship somewhat secret? For they're safety and simply for privacy, so most people don't know that they're Dottore's lover. Now, they didn't exactly expect some random agents to come up to them, and especially ones that don't seem so friendly... (I mean, maybe standing around in the cold all day doing nothing gets you rather bored and tempermental...) They probably try to talk it out politely, but the agents simply don't give up, either out of boredom to annoy someone or they accuse you for sneaking around (Since they look like a normal citizen.) Of course, being Dottore's lover, they're by no means weak. But one of the agent's still manages to land a good hit on them with an electro delusion, and they're on the ground before they know it (I doubt being struck by lightning is very nice...) Thankfully the other agent's saw the commotion by the camp and came over, fatui agent's don't typically beat up their own citizens without good reason... Fastforward and they're being held in a medical ward. One of Dottore's subordinates recognizes them and immediately informs him. (To which he is seething. The scalpel that was in his hand was bent backwards from how hard he was gripping it.) Everyone can only clear the path for the harbinger as his footsteps echo through the halls. He insists on taking care of they're wounds, and despite all the atrocities he's ever committed with his hands, those hands are so gentle on them... He will find out who hurt them, no matter if they want to tell him or not. And this doesn't apply to just being physically harmed. Someone made them cry? He'll strangle whoever did that and make it hurt. (All while the clones comfort you of course! <3) And I also think in the akademiya he was the same, but his anger wasn't really as quiet... He would chastise you whenever you got clumsy in a fight and end up injured, scolding you and insulting you while patching you up (He is horribly worried about you getting fatally injured, he just has no idea how to express it without being mean) Some so called scholar won't leave you alone about extorting you to do their work? He'll dig up dirt on them and ruin their lives. (He will deny having anything to do with it.) (This is so long... I really didn't mean to, but I'm really bad at getting my thoughts out in a short manner. I hope at least some of it is coherent, your Dottore works always makes me bounce off the walls <3)

ADWUIDEUD OEEDN ITNDDD WHTAT THI IS MAKING ME BOUNCE OFF THE WALLS TOO??? I don't even know what to add, it's already so good 😫

Unlike Dottore, you can't stay cooped up in a lab all day, you like to get some fresh air (even if you're getting hit by some angry snowflakes) while running some errands for him so the clones don't have to bother doing them. Most people just thought of you as his average assistant, which was good considering Dottore doesn't have the time or patience to deal with the gossiping or rumors regarding him and especially not you (also definitely not the other Harbingers...)

Unfortunately, that has a drawback, which is the fact that some Fatui liked to mess with you since they thought you were a mere easily replaceable assistant. You've dealt with some in the past and sent them on their way, not telling Dottore because you wouldn't want to waste his time with unimportant things like this. This time, however, you weren't so lucky... fighting in such a snowy and slippery landscape was not your expertise... and you ended up with a rather nasty wound. You've gone through worst, but it still hurt, you know?

When Dottore is interrupted from his research, he's initially upset but as soon as the words fly out of the agent's mouth in a hurried and terrified manner (because everyone is scared to even be in his presence much less report to him) it appears like all of that annoyed energy is gone as he asks the agent to repeat himself. And it feels like the room has dropped in temperature, the Doctor's face expressionless as he easily snaps the scalpel, the clanging of it to the floor making the agent's face pale. Dottore doesn't even waste time killing the agent as he simply leaves to go to you. (That subordinate is crying himself to sleep later 😭)

Literally all noise in the camp stops as soon as the 2nd Harbinger comes, he takes one look at you and just takes you out of there (his lab is far more equipped than this pitiful place) It's been a long time since Zandik tended to your wounds, you usually never get hurt since you're quite careful or you always have a clone, so it's a bit nostalgic and heartwarming to feel his hands being so tender... cleaning and applying a salve... wrapping it carefully himself, etc 🥺 He won't press you for answers, because he'll find out he did it really quickly anyway and kill them with no remorse or emotion (he's such a silly!)

UGHHHH AKADEMIYA DOTTORE MY FAV <3 100% correct nonnie 🤭 His lecturing and scolding you hurt you MORE than the wound 😭probably 😭 He would go on and on about wtf were you thinking, you shouldn't have done that, you need to be more careful. Only this is how he expresses his worry since he doesn't know how to cope with caring about someone this much so he just resorts to mean words in hopes you can somehow translate "do you want to die, fool? how can you jump in there like an idiot?" to "you scared me and i don't want you to do that again, i don't like seeing you hurt"

Zandik is a good liar... until the topic of ruining someone's life comes up! You just know he had something to do with it. But... the idea of him sacrificing sleep to make the life of your harasser miserable, instead of using the time to do research, that's how you know you've got him 🤭💖

[lol-jackles]

Whenever Anons tell me that Jared fans are just as bad as AAs and hellers, I always ask for receipts.

The reason they won't ever be able to provide this (besides the ones Jai & co have been exposed as having faked to frame Jared fans...) is they don't exist (I know you know this lol, just making a general statement). The thing is, AA's are soooo beyond sensitive that they literally think saying we don't like Jensen's outfit at a con, or that he looks tired, or that he's had botox is "hate". You say anything even remotely critical about Jensen? You must hate him. They take such personal offense to things that are barely a slight to Jensen as hate.

Jared fans on the other hand, have had over 16 years of dealing with the hate and insults and biting their tongues. They have a much thicker skin. They are getting more assertive and pushing back more nowadays, but they still had to stay quiet for 15 years to keep the peace because, for some reason, it fell on them (much like it falls on Jared).

Btw this is exactly how and why I left the Jensen fandom completely. I was a Jensen leaning J2 fan when I joined the fandom. Problem was that I didn't immediately turn on blinders to Jensen's behavior when I joined (like a good little Jensen fan is expected to). So I made a mildly critical comment about him and was dogpiled. I was told I wasn't a real fan and that I actually hated him and was just pretending to like him. I was called some pretty gross stuff and told I wasn't wanted there. And from people I really didn't expect (at the time I didn't expect it at least). That's when I realized there weren't a lot of "safe spaces" in the Jensen fandom and it was exhausting trying to get news about him from sites where I also had to see (tagged) Jared hate and them attacking other fans like me. It was just easier to not bother anymore.

I actually saw a few posts recently from TB/GenV fans who were really annoyed that Jensen had a cameo in GenV because it's annoying how he takes over and all the gifsets and everything are all him. They didn't want him on the spinoff because that was a show mostly safe from his fans. It took them less than one season to piss off TB and GenV fans. Jared fans put up with it for 15 years.

Thank you for sharing your history. This completely jives with the many private convo I had with Dean/Jensen fans laminating the lack of safe space within their fandom that doesn't include Destiel and/or hating on Sam/Jared (X) but also expected to never discuss Dean or Jensen other than a perfect victim because AAs viewed themselves as perfect victims that the world must change and cater to them. The only advice I could provide them was to go to original posts by Sam girls (because at least they respect the show's canon) and look at who are reblogging or liking with Dean's avatar or his name.

Yeah I never understood why it fell on Sam girls to keep the fandom peace by appeasing the demented Sam haters. Just like it fell on Jared to protect Jensen from Destiel hellers' campaign to slander Jensen as a homophobe (*wave hello to MallorytoyourMickey aka Heidi aka High-D aka my buddy!*) but they won't protect Jared from slanderous lies spread by their own fandom on social media.

Which is why AAs, hellers, and even Kripke get the shock of their lives when Sam/Jared girls do strike back because they're like cats - chill and indifferent but have murder mittens and Freddy Kruger hands when rudely poked.

I’ve joked that Jared’s stans’ response to the Prequel debacle was “I’VE BEEN FREED!"  They no longer have to support and defend Jensen especially now that SPN is over, then the Prequel debacle was the cherry on top because it gave them the ultimate permission to no longer do the geek social fallacy thing. And I like to think that Dean fans are also free from Ackles Army's death grip of the character now that they're moving on to The Boys fandom.

Speaking of which, I'm not surprised to hear TB/GenV fans are annoyed by the AAs. The soap opera and SPN fandom couldn't stand them, why would TB fandom be any different? As long as AAs view themselves as perfect victims, they don't believe they need to change their attitude.

[tc-doherty]

Writetober Day 3: Path

Other shorts with Jovany & Nino:

[2]

@did-i-do-this-write

If there was one thing Jovany did not need – aside from unavoidable duties and busybody clansmen, of course – was a curious young wife sharing his space, getting into everything. Which Nino did with alarming regularity.

For someone who assuredly did not know the language, a fact which Jovany had tested, Nino spent an awful lot of time getting into Jovany's papers.

That he could write and even figure in his own language was obvious. Nino had signed their marriage contract, rather than marking an X as illiterate would do. Jovany had also caught Nino going through his accounts book on more than one occasion.

It was possible that he was just trying to learn, but the fact remained that those weren't his papers.

Most weren't even Jovany's. They belonged to the clan and he was only allowed access due to his standing. So Nino, who was only granted status as his wife, definitely had no right to them. Jovany had not bothered to put them anywhere more secure because, well, before, he'd had his house to himself. And Nino's attitude when first they met had been more than a little misleading.

Behind his cute face and seemingly placid demeanor, Nino was as active and mischievous as a ferret.

Jovany could not figure him out at all. He was well educated, clearly, and totally inept at any kind of practical task or anything related to housekeeping. That might imply that he was of a high bloodline, wherever he was from. But he was also entirely unfazed by anything that had happened to him, which implied a more grounded and worldly outlook than most nobles would have, in Jovany's experience.

He would expect someone in Nino's position to be at least a little diffident, at least a little well behaved. Even if just in the beginning. Instead, Nino had unashamedly helped himself to Jovany's things from the first, and here he was again, intently studying Jovany's map. That map was his, copied off of his people's old documents and adjusted with his own exploration.

He pulled it out of Nino's hands and said "no", which was one of the words that Nino did know.

Not that he respected it. Nino was not only curious, he could also be damned stubborn. He snatched the map right back and spread it out before pointing to a spot seemingly at random.

"There," he said.

"You don't even know what I'm looking for," Jovany said, though he knew Nino wouldn't understand him. Jovany did his best, in his spare time, when he wasn't too annoyed with the younger boy. And he knew that Nino hanging around the other clan wives would certainly help his vocabulary in the long run, but it hadn't even been a week yet. Still not enough for them to communicate with any ease.

Nino pointed at the map again. "A road," he said, in that awkward and clunky accent of his.

"That's not a road, that's…" Well, Jovany didn't know exactly what it was. The original map was centuries old and there was no one left who knew about these particular map keys. He certainly didn't, and that was probably obvious just from looking at his notes. "Don't tell me you were an apprentice cartographer."

Of course Nino couldn't tell him any such thing, whether it was true or not. "A road," he insisted.

"Fine, I'll go look when I have time," Jovany said, retrieving the map again. Who knew when that would be. Nino's so-called road was quite a distance into the clan's uncharted territory and he still had responsibilities to help fight against the prince's not infrequent incursions. Still, it at least gave him something to work towards. For now. "But you need to stop going through my things without permission."

Nino gave him a perfectly innocent expression in return.

Some things did not need words. It was not as if Nino didn't know any better, he just didn't care. Some men might beat their wives for disobedience but Jovany wasn’t the type, even if they had been married in reality not just on paper, which they weren’t. Nino certainly knew that. He seemed to be good at judging people, instinctively staying away from those with short tempers or low morals.

And most likely, Jovany knew, he was just trying to learn the language, which he could hardly fault Nino for. Nino chattered a lot to himself in his own language, and seemed to be a talkative person by nature. It could not be easy living somewhere without the ability to communicate with anyone. And it's not as if there was anything particularly damning or secretive in the documents that he had. It was just the principle of the thing, which Nino did not care about at all.

Jovany sighed. If the thing that Nino pointed out on the map really was a road, let alone one which led to what he was looking for, there would be no living with him.

[veintrry]

heart to heart.

wanderer x gn!reader. slight angst, death mentions, sugar-rotting fluff, romance, couples being couples, they have known each other for a long time, wanderer is referred to as kuni by reader, he's bad at expressing his emotions directly but he tries. possibly ooc? but he's just rlly in love imo

an: HAPPY VALENTINE!!! i had to make the hard choice of denying angst on vday. it's okay, i sprinkled some in. also ofc, inspired

The last thing Wanderer was skilled at was romance. That by no means meant he was clueless, he has existed long enough to see what is considered love and what isn't change. He's gotten to witness these social displays of affection and yet, he never understood where they stem from. It turns out, the answer was beyond words. Lucky for him, he was always better at acting on his emotions.

There was no reason for anyone to explain Valentines day. Everyone knew it, everyone. In fact, so many did that Wanderer was beginning to think there is a specific disease that spreads and makes everyone lovesick on this specific day. I mean, really, a day to spoil your loved one? The thing that is astounding to him wasn't it having a day, but rather the fact it was only one day like this isn't meant to be something you do every day.

If you only display such things on this day only without shame then that just seems depressing. Don't get him wrong, he wasn't the kind to go grabbing your hands, or to give you an obnoxiously large gift for everyone and you to witness, but he knows you liked small things, like walking particularly close to him, staying beneath his hat, your fingers grazing each others as you walked, teasing him till he clutches your hand, scoffing at your behaviour. But you knew he liked it; You knew he liked you.

But, I guess this is a proper day for him to reflect, right? To look back on everything?

-

You two were very different people, that has always been evident, but similar to now, you two found an odd connection, though it was hard to discover. He wasn't exactly the easiest to get along with, he knows that, but you stuck around. You stuck around and bothered him. You're still here to do that now. Why? He doesn't know. But he feels it.

You were just someone who wanderers about from time to time outside of your average life. If you could escape the normalcy and routine of life, you did, that's what lead you to him. To your endless days of a new kind of life, one that doesn't pass with time, because such a thing is erased with the existence of one another.

Conversation was awkward at first, only because he would be so reluctant to answer you, and yet you'd patiently stare at him. You aren't an idiot, you weren't oblivious to how harsh he'd be, how he'd push you away, but you'd like to believe you are someone who persists in things that are good. And to you, he felt wonderful.

So, he eased up on you. He didn't regret it, no, not one bit. He started waiting for you, expecting you, recognising the sound of your footsteps. Warmth had become a foreign thing to him, till your embrace became more prominent. Each day, he'd hear the rushing steps of your genta's hitting the ground, he turns to you, he sees your smile, and you pull him in. He always sighed, pretending to be annoyed, commenting about how affectionate you are; Did you miss him that much? ..Did you?

He only ever asked you that once. What he expected was you brushing it off, but you admitted it outright. "I feel lost when I'm not with you." Those words stuck with him, and on that moment he felt something in particular. He had become accustomed to you, understanding his emotions from previous experiences, but this felt different, like an awakening, as if, somehow, in some way, this foggy path of life had been cleared up. You were the one still thing in it, you weren't something he passed by on this path, you weren't his end destination, you were someone who came along the way, and he hoped you'd be there to the end.

The end? Right. You're a mortal. 'The end'? Seriously, what's wrong with him? Ha. So stupid. Stupid.

You'd die before then.

He told you, what he is. You treat him like any normal human being. But, you never bring up death. It's something he knows to avoid with you. It contrasts you, it's cold, deathly cold, much like him. He shouldn't dwell, you wouldn't like that. Still, how can he help it? He loves you. How is he meant to accept that not only will he lose you, but he will have to live with that forever, for eternity. You are his eternity, you make him feel like he can last forever, like another hundred years won't hurt, like a thousand years is nothing. How can he do it without you?

...

You two linked together perfectly, you were rough around the edges, but when you clicked the snap only proved the realisation that dawned upon you two; this sense of completion.

If he doesn't have you, who's going to -

"Kuni!" Oh. Have you come, to break him from his slumber once more?

Your voice is cheery as always, it reminds him how he had to adjust to your greetings before. Maybe he never realised you sounded like that because of him.

He knew you'd come to him, hence why he remained in your teapots realm, strolling around the garden, freshly grown plump fruits, bushes with roses and prickly thorns. You really gave life to everything around you. The trees stretched towards the sky, their branches sprouting like the patterns of their winter leaves. This realm was beyond time, the weather could change with a mere flick of a finger, and yet you chose to stay true to the world outside, choosing to live day by day abiding by these rules. You must like knowing how much time you two spend together with the seasons passing. Wanderer turns his head to you, watching as you run up to him, that same old smile still stuck to your face after all these years. His arm outstretched as his fingers graze the petals of the pure white flowers from the dogwood tree.

Your arms wrap around his right one, pulling him closer, and he can feel your body heat. It reassures him. "Were you just wandering here? You looked deep in thought." Offering you a small smile, he hums. Only you got to see such an unconditionally genuine appearance such as this, his gaze brimming with love that transcends words. You could tell he was particularly happy today, very happy. "Did I now?"

"You did!" God, how much he likes you.

"I was just...thinking of something, that's all." He plucks one of the flowers by its stem. To tell you his thoughts, to expose himself to you. You know he cares, but he's better at showing his love in ways other than words. "Don't make it a secret." An exasperated sigh leaves him, scolding you, "You're so impatient." Turning to you, his hand reaches behind your ear, tucking the flower inbetween the strands of your hairs.

"It was you." He reaches for one of your hands, holding it in his palm as he inches closer to you.

Kissing the top of your hand, his eyes never breaking away from yours as the leaves surround the both of you, the winds swaying your hair lightly, and life seems much more simpler when he knows you're there with him.

"Just you."

Who wouldn't want to do this every day?

[lucreziaq2001]

•TV show: "Criminal minds".

•Content warnings: Mentions of a baby who died in his mother's womb around 37 weeks into the pregnancy, his mom going through the whole pregnancy without a partner or spouse by her side (by choice), her having to give birth to her son after having found out he had passed away, her having to leave him at the hospital and go back home, mentions of a baby's funeral, her feelings after the loss of her baby (grief, wanting to isolate from her friends and many others), her accepting to meet her friend's newborn baby, but entering into a delusion in which that child is her son, her baby watching over her from Heaven and praying she'll be okay one day and her finally letting out all her feelings with one of her two closest friends helping her.

•This One Shot is an AU in which JJ and Will's second baby didn't die and was born alive in mid 2011. I named her Margaret because Maggie, the name JJ said she would have given her in the show, is not a full name, it's more of a nickname and it is her nickname here too. Emily also didn't go through the "thing" with Ian Doyle and JJ didn't have to leave her team in this story.

•I know JJ and Will weren't married yet in 2011, but to make things easier for myself, I chose to refer to him as her husband, since that's what many people do in my country with live-in partners, mostly if they have kids together. I hope this doesn't bother you.

•I don't fully know how maternity leave works in the USA, especially for an FBI agent, so I made those details up. If you know more about this, feel free to correct me, though.

•I don't know if Emily was religious in "Criminal minds", but even not religious people say that their dead loved ones are in Heaven, so I used that word around the end of the story.

•Tags: @lex13cm, @golden1u5t, @arabellavernierwrites (who helped me write this a pretty long time ago), @asolitaryrose3, @oneshotnewbie, @whotfskai, @marril96, @babiebom.

Until they'd meet again

On July 5, 2011, her first day back at work after her five-weeks-long leave, when Emily Prentiss walked into the bullpen, the first thing she would have liked to do was scream as loud as she could.

Why?

Well, because not really knowing what to say to her, all her co-workers and friends just asked "Are you alright?".

What Emily would have wanted to say was "No, I'm not! Who the hell would be alright just one month after their baby's death?!?", but to avoid worrying her friends and most of all, knowing they wouldn't have been able to understand what she was going through, what she ended up telling them was just "Yes, I'm okay".

She knew they didn't believe her, also because she wasn't able to look them in the eye while saying that.

Most of them were FBI profilers, after all.

Analyzing human behavior was their job.

None of them pressured her to open up, though, and Emily was partly happy, partly annoyed by that.

Less than half an hour after she had arrived at the office, she was already convinced that the worst part of her day was going to be having to stay at work, around people who didn't know how to talk to her, but shot pity-filled looks at her every few minutes, while all she actually wanted to do was go back home, the only place were she would have been alone, lay in bed and just miss her baby boy.

Her beloved Isaac, whom she had gotten pregnant with thanks to a sperm donor, had died in her womb in late May of that year.

His mother had found out about that on May 28, exactly thirty-eight weeks into her -at least until then- healthy pregnancy.

Hearing her doctor say "I'm so sorry. There is no heartbeat" had been more devastating than anything she had ever been through to Emily, and finding out she still had to deliver her son was even harder.

After two days spent locked up in her apartment, mostly crying and staring mindlessly at the TV, in the late afternoon of May 30, Emily had gone to the hospital to give birth to her much loved and wanted little boy.

The next morning, at 10:40 am, Isaac William Prentiss had come into the world, lifeless, but still perfect in his mother's eyes.

For the next two days, Emily held him every second she could, trying to memorize every single one of his features, talking and singing to him and taking more pictures than she could have counted.

Then, the time had come to say goodbye, and leaving Isaac to the nurses while she went back home was one more heartbreak for her to deal with.

For almost five whole weeks, she stayed cooped up in her house, only going out on the day of Isaac's funeral and one evening because her friend Penelope had basically forced her to go out with her.

That night, Emily had just wanted to go home as soon as possible, but on her first day back at work, in spite of her still very present heartbreak, she craved nothing more than to have normalcy and a healthy routine again.

That was why, although it had only been a little over a month since her son had passed and she would have had the right to three more weeks of paid leave, she had insisted on returning to the bureau.

There, however, everyone was tip-toeing around her, going the extra mile to make sure everything within their job maintained some sense of balance.

The team was trying their hardest to provide stability to the grieving mother Emily now was.

The next day, however, their friend and co-worker JJ, who had given birth to her daughter Margaret just three weeks prior, had decided to come see them.

She hadn't brought the baby with her, but she knew she was going to have to bring her up at some point.

Everyone else on the team had already been to her house to meet little Margaret for the first time, and JJ was now nauseous at the idea of having to find a way to invite Emily's freshly broken heart.

"Emily" she said, tapping softly on the door to her friend's office "Can I talk to you real quick before I go back home?".

Hardly looking up from her papers, Emily nodded and just responded with "Of course".

JJ timidly entered the room, still unsure of how to say what she wanted to tell the older woman.

"I thought now would be a good time to talk to you about this. As you know, I just had a baby. If you refuse, I understand. I want you to do what's best for you now. Don’t feel pressured or think that you somehow have to spare my feelings in any way-" she started to explain, but Emily soon interrupted her.

"JJ" she told her "You can ask the question".

JJ swallowed intensely.

"Would you like to meet my daughter?" she then asked.

Even though she had given her friend permission to ask her that, when she heard those words, Emily felt like she had just been punched in the stomach.

She tried to hide the fact that that question had knocked the wind out of her, but even a brief mention of a baby was enough to send her back into the pit of despair she was actively trying to claw her way out of.

"I can’t wait" she still forced herself to say, giving JJ a half-fake smile.

She was genuinely happy for her, but also fighting a losing battle inside.

The idea of her friend's new baby stormed up inside Emily.

She remembered what it felt like to hold her little one for the first time, his soft skin, his tiny fingers and toes and his impossibly long eyelashes.

He was perfect, but no screams had come from him.

Unlike all the other babies there that day, he hadn't been born alive.

So much of Emily was happy that JJ was getting to experience becoming the mother of an alive baby for the second time.

One of the most precious things life could offer was in the palms of her friend's hands.

But still, heartache consumed her.

She was devastated that there was still so much life and beauty in the world, when she had just had to experience a death so earth-shattering.

The idea of meeting JJ's baby made Emily's heart race, but still, she agreed to do it, and a few hours later, there she was, sitting on JJ's couch, an evening full of homecooked meals and genuine conversation leading her up to that point.

"Here she is, Auntie Emily" JJ told her with a smile on her face, placing her baby girl into Emily's protective arms.

The older woman's first reaction to that was a chuckle of disbelief she just couldn't hold in.

Her mind twisted at the memory of her own sweet baby, the one that she had been grieving so violently over.

She wasn’t sure what it was, motherly hormones or just pure reality-distorting heartbreak, but she felt like she was holding her late son.

That thought poisoned her mind, the maternal instinct pumping through her veins, her heart intertwining with the one of the baby in her arms.

"She’s perfect" Emily whispered, overcome with emotion.

"She is, isn’t she?" JJ replied with a smile on her face, taking a seat in a chair across the room, keeping an affectionate eye on the two of them.

"You're just the sweetest thing, aren’t you?" Emily then cooed, completely enamored with the infant in her arms.

She felt like she was getting sucked deeper into the sickening hole of motherly grief.

She didn’t feel real anymore and to her, the baby she was holding wasn't JJ's daughter.

It was her son.

Her innocent child she should have protected from all things evil in the world.

Now she had a second chance, and anyone and anything that would have even tried to harm that baby would have died at her hands before being able to come near the child.

"You just need someone to keep your little heart safe, sweet boy" she cooed as she stroked the baby's big, round cheeks with love "You need your mommy to keep you safe".

By that point, JJ had become weary of her friend's behavior, since she had witnessed a shift behind her grieving eyes.

"Will, how about you go upstairs to see if Henry is sleeping?" she decided to tell her husband, mostly wishing to salvage the image of her co-worker, not wanting anyone else to have to witness what she pretty much knew was coming.

"I can protect you, my son" Emily then promised, still looking at the baby with so much love in her eyes "As your mommy, I swear I won’t let anything ever hurt you".

"I think it’s time she goes back to bed, Honey" JJ tried to tell her, wanting to get her baby back into the hands of someone with a more present mind.

"I can’t" Emily replied, her eyes filling up with tears "I can’t have my baby taken from me again".

"Don’t you want us to have our baby back?" Will, who had come back downstairs by that time attempted to ask her.

As a response, however, Emily shook her head.

"No, he is mine!" she then exclaimed "I have to protect my baby!".

"Come on, she needs some rest" JJ told her, gently rubbing her back.

Suddenly, Emily’s brain felt like it could have exploded.

It was so full of heartbreak, confusion and despair.

The thoughts that had been racing through her mind for weeks pounded on the walls of her skull, desperate for an escape from the pain that brewed in her mind.

She just wanted something she could hold on to, something that she could have a second chance at, something that would stay alive.

"No, I can’t" Emily told her, tears streaming down her face by that time.

All the sternness in her voice had disappeared and there was nothing in her tone except pure defeat.

That was when JJ knew she wasn’t just talking about the baby.

She was talking about everything she had experienced since the day she had found out Isaac had passed away.

Everything that had swept her off her feet in the tornado of losing a child.

She couldn’t do it any more.

She couldn’t live with that missing piece in her life.

She couldn’t plaster on a smile and show up to work like she hadn't just lost the person she loved the most.

JJ was careful, removing her baby from Emily’s arms and quickly giving her to her husband, who took her upstairs to give the two women a moment alone.

"I can't do this" Emily sobbed, her figure collapsing entirely against her friend.

Her body heaved violently as everything that had been building up was let go.

The excruciating experience of losing her baby boy had broken her.

Maybe one day there would have been a way out of all the pain she was experiencing, but at that moment, everything around her seemed dark and the only good things were JJ's arms around her and the fact that in a way, she still had her baby boy in her life.

He was watching her from Heaven, loving on his mommy and praying for her to be able to find peace and the strenght to wait until they were meant to meet again.

[larrysanasshole]

Something silly about larry who comforts reader because I had a breakdown about my relationships lol

Also inspired by the song moves from Suki Waterhouse and he may be a little high idk

The school's parties have always been strangely uncomfortable events that most people attend simply because there weren't more interesting things to do in Nockfell or.... No, those were actually all the reasons why the school gymnasium was more crowded than usual. The cheapest gaudy colorful decorations hung on the walls and ceiling imitating streamers, and the tables were decorated with tablecloths in strange patterns. Not to mention the food which was the most ordinary snacks. For the most part, it resembled a normal school day, but more elegant.That's why you didn't want to come. There was no point in wasting time getting ready just because someone on the school staff wanted to throw a party to welcome spring. What was it, kindergarten?

Unfortunately, however, you ended up at this unfortunate party, or more precisely, due to your partner. Things had been getting worse between you lately, you were constantly arguing, even about silly things. Going out and having fun together was supposed to at least get your relationship back on track, but it ended just as you might have expected. - Would you please stop reproaching me! We came here to have fun!- your partner said through clenched teeth so that the others would not draw their attention to you, although the tension between you was palpable to the point of being over the top. - According to you, flirting with other girls is fun?- you asked in response equally annoyed and your voice faltered. He did it all the time, acted as if he wasn't in a relationship at all, and when you paid attention to him, the argument started. - I was just talking to them! Do you have to make it so difficult to be with you? You know what, I do not want to hear your answer. If I'm bothering you so much then enjoy yourself.- He announced in a harsh tone without even allowing you to respond only turned away the tension and went to his friends thus leaving you alone. For a moment you still stood still staring ahead before you felt a tightness in your chest.

Crying itself wouldn't have been such a terrible thing yet, if it weren't for the fact that there were people around you who knew you and who might be too pinched the next day at school. - fuck it all- you said to yourself in your mind while taking your purse from one of the tables and quickly headed towards the exit. Your heart was beating uncomfortably fast and your vision was blurred by tears wanting to run down your cheeks. You only allowed it when the still gently cool air hit your face. You sat on the stairs throwing your purse somewhere off to the side, not even anything of value was there. You don't even know what or who exactly you were angry at, that stupid party? Those girls there, that asshole or at yourself for letting yourself be treated that way. A shudder went through your body through your sobs. It was so overwhelming, believing that anything would change. Maybe you really were to blame yourself?

- Not that I'm judging, but I don't think this is where the party is- a playful boy's voice next to you spoke up, making you feel even worse. Lifting your gaze your eyes appeared none other than Larry Johnson. You were familiar with him from art class, but you never had any major interaction, occasionally he threw in some joke during class or something, but mostly you were strangers to each other. Shame mixed with despair for you. However, it did not escape your attention that his expression changed seeing your red eyes and tears still running down your skin. Surely he looked confused, but also slightly panicked? Most likely because of his misplaced joke.

- sorry, this is probably not the right moment- he added immediately with a nervous smile, and his hands began to correct the sleeves of his dark shirt.

- nothing happened, it won't get any worse-you replied without anger or irritation, and this curious thing worried him even more. He moved uncomfortably not knowing what he should do, he wasn't very good at comforting people, but he also didn't want to just leave you, it seemed just as awful. Willing or not, he also took a seat on the stairs, farther away from you to keep a proper distance, but he was there.

- You'd better not say that, or something worse will really happen.- He said wanting to lighten the atmosphere and reached into the pocket of his pants to pull out crumpled cigarettes and a lighter. You felt like crying even more. You silently wiped your tears while looking at your shoes. You heard him use the lighter, and immediately took a drag. You wondered if he was sitting with you out of pity.

- I don't know how to comfort people, if I started talking some cheerful nonsense it would hardly even help- He started to speak wanting to support you in any way. You interrupted him before he could speak further.

- This is solely my fault. I brought myself to such a state- You said raising your eyes to look ahead. Your hands were resting on your knees, it's been a long time since you felt this bad.

Larry was silent for a while, and only through the still hovering cigarette smoke were you sure he was next to you.

- I do not know what exactly happened, but if it is not a meteorite falling from the sky then you can always change something. I mean, the simplest things bring results.- He shrugged his shoulders, he really did not know how to comfort. His words were so simple and yet true and made the

that the wind was not so cold.

- Unless someone hurt you, then it all doesn't matter, please tell me it's not that- he quickly added realizing that he really didn't know what had happened. You shook your head so that sometimes he wouldn't start panicking along with you too.

- Thank goodness, in that case, what else can you do but try to make a difference?- He returned to his speech, and you began to wonder if he knew it was about your partner. You had always thought that your relationship was quite private and no one but you knew about your bickering, but now you were beginning to doubt it. You had no intention of asking, for your own comfort.

- I can sit here and cry further- You suggested quietly wiping your cheeks on which there were fewer and fewer new tears. Turning your head to the side immediately your gaze met his. He was just taking a drag on his cigarette, but at your words he raised his eyebrows.

- In that outfit? On the stairs where everyone walked by wiping their shoes? Along with Travis?- he said with feigned disbelief. Your eyes continued to be red and glassy, but instead of sobbing you burst into laughter. His words were so silly as to be funny, and his facial expression only added more to the humorous flavor of it all.

- bleh, You just made me want to burn this dress now and I feel even worse- You complained while getting up from your seat which brought a smile to his face, he was in no hurry to get up from his seat.

- I'm just telling the truth- He replied finishing his smoke with that he threw the cigarette on the ground and crushed it with his shoe. You looked at him not knowing what to feel anymore. You continued to feel awful, but it was more bearable than a moment before.

- are you going back inside, or are you going home?- he asked, casting his gaze to the front door from behind which the music was still coming.

- I will go home. I'm sorry that you had to witness my breakdown- You muttered, not really wanting to deal with shame yet now, there will be a good time for that, for example, the next day.

- me? I had a nice time at the party, my couple was a little emotionally unstable, but otherwise it's pretty good.- He said once again making something other than sadness appear on your face.

- just don't tell anyone about it- You said going down the rest of the stairs. You didn't hear if he answered you and so it didn't matter now, the confusion in your head was drowning out everything anyway.

Maybe you really could have changed everything? Start all over again?

He made it sound so easy, and even if he was joking, maybe that was the truth? You wondered about this all the way back to your house.

Getting everything in order took a little longer than you would have liked and definitely longer than just crying in your room, but the final decision has already made some changes.

Being single and taking extra art classes really served you!

[will80sbyers]

«Listen, man, I'm not thrilled about doing this project with you either. I don't understand this photography stuff, but it's half of our grade and I need to pass this class, so can you please stop being weird about it?»

«I'm not being weird.»

« Oh really, Byers? You've been trying to stay away from me and constantly moving around as if I have the plague or something! I need to see what you're doing to understand, and this red light is not helping. »

Jonathan let out an annoyed sigh. « Fine.»

Steve moved closer to the other boy who was standing in front of the pictures, which were immersed in what Steve understood to be a sort of developing liquid. He wasn't really sure how all of this worked, and Jonathan was not exactly explaining things to him; he had actually been ignoring him and responding in one-word sentences since they had been alone in the room. It had been ten minutes of torture for Steve, who felt pretty uncomfortable with the silence and usually tried to fill it by saying something funny. This time, however, he had stayed silent because he doubted he could make Jonathan Byers laugh after what had happened between them the year before. He had apologized for calling him queer and insulting his family, and Jonathan had accepted the apology in theory, but things were still quite tense between them. Knowing about the Upside Down and fighting a Demogorgon together had not lessened Jonathan's coldness toward him, but Steve thought that maybe breaking up with Nancy, after they both realized they weren't meant to be, would have changed the situation. Now Jonathan could have pursued her, but to Steve's surprise, they hadn't started dating yet, as he thought they would. Steve didn't even understand why this had been bothering him so much in the past month; maybe he just wanted to see that Jonathan had really forgiven him. He wanted to prove himself to Jonathan, to get him to say that he wasn't an asshole after all and that he had changed, and maybe they could become friends. He really would like that. The only close male friend he had ever had was Tommy, and that didn’t even feel like a real friendship, if he were to be honest with himself. He knew things would be different with Jonathan, and he... he just wanted Jonathan to like him. Was that such a horrible thing?

« So this is... » he started to say but Jonathan interrupted him.

« Please don't touch anything unless I tell you to.» Jonathan blocked his hand that was reaching out towards the containers on the table and locked his hand around his wrist, making Steve almost jolt at that touch. He felt weird, like he got a tiny electric shock from that contact. Jonathan's hand remained in place, keeping a firm grasp on his wrist, before they both looked into each other's faces in the red light, and Jonathan let go of him. Steve was still feeling the warmth of Jonathan's hand on his skin, and his heart started to beat faster. What the hell was that?

« Look, Steve, I can do the project on my own, and then I'll tell Mrs. Jenkins that you were helping me. There's no need for you to be here; you can go back home. It's easier. »

«Nice... and how do I know that you won't tell her I dipped, exactly? I know you don't like me, so why should I trust that this is not a way to get revenge on me for being a jerk last year?»

Steve's tone was probably too casual for what he was implying, but he honestly couldn't have blamed Jonathan much if that had really been his plan.

« Well, first of all, that would be extremely stupid because my grade would be affected too by that. Also, I don't want revenge for what you did. You have already apologized too much about that. And yeah, I don't like most people, but I don't actually dislike you, either. »

«Ooh right, you would have just preferred if my hair had burned off with the Demogorgon as a punishment?»

Jonathan laughed at that, surprising Steve. He thought that his laugh was actually kind of... cute? It was more like a repressed giggle than a full laugh, but Steve was still shocked by the simple fact that he had made Jonathan Byers laugh.

«It would be a tragic loss for the whole town, so no, actually.»

Wait... had Jonathan just complimented his hair in a way? Steve got closer to him; he was staring down at the photographs, and he took his time watching his jawline and tracing the shape of his face with his eyes. There was something so peculiar about his features. He didn't look like a typical movie star or like one of those guys in the beauty magazines Steve had bought, but Steve thought he was impressively beautiful and understood why Nancy had clearly had a crush on him in the past. He got it. Jonathan was definitely not bad to look at... and he was looking, maybe too much.

He diverted his gaze, embarrassment ambushing him from nowhere. He cleared his throat.

«I want to stay and help. Just tell me what to do.»

They worked together for two and a half hours, with Jonathan explaining to him a few of the basics of photography and how they could even modify the pictures with some tricks he had learned from some books about it. Everything was going pretty well when Steve made one of the pliers Jonathan was using fall on the floor, and they both bent down to pick it up, bumping heads in the process.

Jonathan had lost his equilibrium and had fallen back. Steve immediately reached for him instinctively, ending up in a strange position; he was basically standing over him at this point. He looked up at the other boy, who had just realized the situation they were in, and their eyes met. Steve's eyes couldn't stop themselves from lingering over Jonathan's lips...

His hands were blocking the other boy to the floor, and Jonathan was kind of sitting on Steve's knees. Steve was about to pull himself up and apologize when Jonathan reached for the collar of his shirt, pulling him back in, and suddenly they were kissing each other. Jonathan placed his hand on Steve's cheek, and somehow, Steve managed to maintain enough strength to keep from falling completely over him, even though the other boy seemed to want him to just let go and press their bodies together. At that point, Steve could hardly breathe, and his mind was a complete whirlwind of excitement mixed with fear, shock, and a desire he didn't even know he had inside him. He wanted this to continue; he wanted to keep feeling Jonathan's tongue trace his lips and his hands reaching for his body. The red light surrounding them made his thoughts feel even more obscene, but he didn't want this to stop at all.

Jonathan paused kissing him to move his mouth to Steve's neck a few times, and Steve almost couldn't resist collapsing any further. He found himself gasping Jonathan's name whenever the kisses became too intense, forcing him back into a deeper kiss because he desperately needed to use his own lips again before he started feeling too embarrassed by the sounds he was making in response to Jonathan's teasing. When they finally reached a point where continuing felt too dangerous, both of them gasping for air and clearly ready to do more than simply make out on the floor of a dirty Dark room, they slowly tried to restrain themselves.

The intensity of the kisses transformed from passionate urgency into a gentle back and forth until Steve rolled onto his back, and they both lay on the ground, listening to their uneven breathing.

« Wow » Steve let go; the shock of what he had just done was overshadowed by how amazing that make-out session had been.

« I know. »

[memoria-99]

Wizardess Heart: Personal thoughts about seasons and routes Part 1

S1 was very basic yet written very well.

Elias: At first I was like, what kind of jerk is this, but he turned out to be rather cute. But story is kinda boring. The first half is all about Elias yelling at MC and MC apologizing for how she messed up. Their relationship kinda lacks something. If it weren't for the mirror they'd never even get along I suppose. Another thing that annoyed me was MC being way too nosy. I mean why the heck would she accept Merculova's request 'for the academy's sake' when she even doesn't know whether she'd be accepted or not? Please MC mind your own business.

Luca: My favorite route in S1. I found him quite attractive, MC and him had fun chemistry, plot was interesting. There're two things that bother me though; first, he used MC, and second, I'm not so sure what was genuine and what was lie... Still, I quite enjoyed him and his story. I wonder why in the world Schuyler would lock the child in the cellar. Ofc the child would be traumatized. Anyway, I know Luca's not the likeable type for all people but still he's one of my favorites.

Yukiya: Overall good route. I was very curious about his 'curse' and this story was really interesting because everything was a mystery. I enjoyed it. Both MC and him were literally the saviors to ach other. I also liked the last part, MC solving the 'contract' issue with another contract. He's like a 'closed' person but his nature is kindest among S1 characters. I dunno about the chemistry though... Still, he makes a great pair with MC. Both gave a positive impact, more like both were saviors to each other. Oh and I won't forget that chubby rabbit either.

S2 was a decent season as well.

Klaus: Nice route, and I found "time travel" very interesting but I still don't like the guy. I just can't stand this Mr. Stickuphisass sadist. Though he's super popular(idk why) I don't see any chemistry between him and MC whatsoever. He has a sharp tongue and kinda looks down on her.

Randy: Think in MC's perspective: wouldn't it be wonderful if your role model truly respects you and loves you just as who you are? This relationship is good for him as well, since she accepts all of him and helps him overcome his trauma. This route had good plot twist, and he was literally an angel. The only one who sincerely respected MC's lousy magic. A real breath of healing air between two jerks in S2. This route was just so heartwarming to read.

Azusa: Should I even talk about this jerk? Fake flirt, deceived, used, and physically+emotionally abused MC. He was even ready to kill her when we chose the wrong answer. But he never properly apologized to her till the very end. He doesn't deserve the happy ending with the MC. ...Yet, I don't think this route itself isn't badly written. Seems like Solmare tried to make some awfully dark story but turned out to be too much.

S3 was, um... so so?

Joel: Kinda close to canon cuz he loved MC for a long time and shares special memories with young MC so... hmmm he and MC was a fine pair, him being honest and caring and all, but I should say that if Eress wasn't there to save the day it would've been rather boring.

Vincent: He's way too old to be with MC, and I don't understand how come he loves the MC and vice versa. All that happened were just him rescuing her all the time and he's awfully cringy somehow. And worst of all, MC was worse than useless. She literally did nothing in this route, even when her boyfriend was on the verge of the death. All she did was crying. And last but not least, the happy ending ends with him saying "it's adult time" or whatever and it bugs me a ton. Hey, what're you exactly gonna do to her. Don't tell me you...

Leon: Is it possible to fall in love in less than 2 weeks when he is in a completely blank state? Leon was literally a blank sheet of paper and his route was all about MC throwing all her business behind to stick around this boy she had just met and teach him very basic stuffs as if she's a kindergarten teacher. There's nothing really interesting about Leon himself either. I mean, his real identity was something that we all could notice before the revelation and that's all. The story and the romance were very bland too. He seemed to love MC because she taught him emotions, and... MC loved him because... because... why did she love him? Maybe because he loved her? Or because he's handsome? Who knows.

S4. When the plot actually started to go downfall.

Cerim: I don't remember anything besides MC shone better than him(she saved him) at this route. Not bad, but that's because nothing was very memorable. No chemistry at all.

Guy: This kind of route seems to be everywhere. Good boy with a huge friend-like vibe. Their chemistry was good, as friends. They are best friends.

S5. Slightly better than S4 but well...

Leslie: Kinda bland route. Leslie nicely supported MC, and she wasn't very pathetic but she was always busy self deprivating which annoyed me a lot. Chica did a good job putting her into senses.

Sigurd: The route with best "newbie" MC. She really shone a lot in this route. I can't think she's the same MC from Vincent or Leon's MC. And this Sigurd... though MC stole the scene most of the time, he wasn't so bad. Though he did deceive MC it wasn't because he wanted to use her or something. He never looked down on her and considering he was her pen pal their bond is quite strong too. Storyline was interesting too, considering nothing really happened in Leslie's route.