#and I’ve started rambling again
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Wynncraft is probably one of my favorite servers to play on!
I did have the interesting experience of logging back on a couple days ago for the first time in a while (it was definitely over a year, potentially close to 2? when I had logged on last) and not having access to any of my spells (my main character is a mage) while I was in the middle of some area with a bunch of enemies XD
I didn’t have access to my spells because the last time I had logged on was before the ability tree update XD (I still have no idea what I was doing in that hole/cave place with all of those enemies. It might have been quest related? Who knows XD)
I have just realized that I’m going to have to go through the ability tree for all of my other characters in the Wynncraft server…. Atleast none of them are as leveled as my mage is XD (I’m pretty sure that I have one of every free class made)
I just got jumpscared by a mob called Corrupted Grian on the Wynncraft minecraft server. I wasn't able to get a screenshot b/c I didn't register the name until after I had killed the mob. I've been standing in the area hoping to get another one to spawn, but no luck. So I went to the wiki XD (there was another one called "Corrupted Jumla" but I didn't recognize their name)
It would also explain why I sorta recognized the name Grian, b/c I've been off and on playing Wynncraft for about 3 years now
I didn't know you played Wynncraft! That's so cool!! And Grian's old Link skin is actually wild to see
I think I first heard of Wynncraft from one of his Hermitcraft Season 6 or Season 7 episodes funny enough
#wynncraft#you’re probably going to be seeing Wynncraft stuff from me XD#somehow it has shoved Genshin (definitely temporarily) out of the main hyperfixation spot#you’ve managed to semi drag me into the hermit craft fandom enough that I can recognize some names and have the desire to draw fanart from#whatever I’ve seen of your posts showing up on my dashboard XD#(right now my brain has somehow gone from Moth!Pearl to Mothdragon!Pearl. I don’t know how that one happened)#I think I’m close to the point of asking for fanfic recs XD#(I would look for the source videos if it weren’t for I’m currently having trouble focusing on videos#videos games; reading; and sorta drawing/coloring can keep my attention#but a tv show movie or video? for some reason I can’t focus on them)#and I’ve started rambling again#whoops#rambling in the tags#sleep deprived rambling strikes again#minecraft
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Something I think about way too much is how Chuuya’s accelerated healing & (for the most part) physical invulnerability probably reinforced his beliefs that he isn’t human for a long time. And even now, it’s probably still a plaguing thought that he has to fight against.
The fact that one of the only things that causes him to sustain physical damage is the very power that he feels segregates him from humanity.
The fact that during one of the only times that Chuuya is physically vulnerable— for that short period after corruption— Dazai is the only one who gets to see him like that. And how it’s in those moments that Dazai is most tender with Chuuya.
#hoshikawa captures the horror of it so well#while harukawa captures the isolation beautifully#both are true and important. meanwhile Dazai being like#your beauty never ever scared me#i’ve been wanting to do a deep read through of the manga and post my thoughts as i go#so maybe posting this will finally push me to start#rambling about bsd again#bsd#bungou stray dogs#nakahara chuuya#bsd chuuya#skk#soukoku#bsd dazai#bsd meta#bsd analysis#character analysis
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💫🌟 From the Heavens (Eclipse the Moon) 🌙✨
[Cycle of the Stars]
#zelda#legend of zelda#zelda au#loz au#au zelda#zelda fanart#daeyumi art#princess zelda#cycle of the stars#cycle of the stars au#okay remember when i said that there were originally supposed to be companion pieces to that au link piece i posted a while back?#probably not lol#but anyways this is one of those pieces#i finally started working on them again!#and like yeah there’s prob gonna be a gap in quality from the link one to the other 3 but that’s a good thing right?#i mean hopefully i’ve improved lol#ah anyways sry for the ramble lol but i’m v happy to get back to this idea#it’s been a minute#prob gonna do ganondorf’s piece next so stay tuned like next month maybe
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headcanon: dick actually prefers wearing baggy clothes in public and is way more comfortable in them because nobody comments on his body when he’s not in form-fitting outfits
and it sucks because he actually really enjoys wearing form-fitting outfits and feels good in them, but any time he does people stare or catcall or even grope him and he just. can’t handle that after everything
plus the villains kissing him as nightwing thing has gotten so bad that he’s genuinely considering getting a mask that covers the lower half of his face
#i have a lot of feelings about him okay#dick grayson#dc comics#nightwing#dc stop having characters sexually harass nightwing challenge#these are not fun hcs#moreso ‘how i think these things would affect him’#dick not even feeling comfortable wearing skinny jeans in public.#dc i am coming for you#cuz the amount of times that he’s harassed and objectified etc is ridiculous!!#and it would definitely affect him!!!!#he’s shown to be visually uncomfortable with it! multiple times!#and is also canonically a SA/rape survivor!!#dc writers i will find you.#cw sa mention#when in costume around people he is constantly on edge#except his family and friends ofc#but even in a mask and armor he feels less safe than he would in a hoodie and sweats#anywayyyyy#yeah i cant stop thinking about him again#the Grayson writers specifically i will hunt down and kill one by one#in my head this started with me thinking about amab nonbinary dick grayson#and then i was like#yeah cuz he’s woman coded so it makes sense which brought me to WHY he’s women coded#(because he’s just as sexualized and objectified as them)#i’ve literally never seen any other male character treated this way. just dick grayson#ok sorry i’m rambling
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✨ Star Friends ✨
When I found out that @chessman-protocol boy Crit liked Astronomy, let’s just say I was beyond estatic and immediately planned this little comic. Here’s to my boy Vincent doing his best to make friends with folks who share similar interests 😅💙
Funny enough, I didn’t realize I put this in Vincent character’s until I looked at the whole thing, but Vincent very much shares the lack of stranger danger the way I did/ I do to this day. To quote one of my past managers I’m “abnormally friendly” or whatever
I can’t tell you how many times even as a small child (drove my parents nuts) that I saw a cool person with whatever connecting factor and I just straight up walked to them and was like “Ok cool. We’re friends now.” And nobody’s really stopped me? So apparently I have friends now. 😆
Vincent however is just a wholesome baby boy who doesn’t realize he’s actually an intimidating hunk of a turtle and randomly walking up to strangers and not saying anything can be taken the wrong way.
Like I said, he’s trying his best. He wasn’t exactly the most socialized if you can’t tell, but he does love dearly and is certainly a boone of a friend to have once you get past the inevitable social awkwardness. He’s loyal to put because he really doesn’t know better, and I adore him for that. Anyway, dunno if Crit knows any ASL or not, but either way Vincent is just excited to meet somebody else who likes space ✨🌌 💙
#just being jayus#doing this ugly and scared#my boy <3#Vincent my beloved#rottmnt original character#rottmnt oc#original comic#rottmnt#save rottmnt#unpause rise of the tmnt#time to go feral in the comments again; please ignore the ramblings of an insane person#Fun fact: Vincent is mute (late mutation and didn’t fully develop vocal chords) and so he only speaks turtle and partial ASL#Morrocoy Tortoise AKA Yellow or Red Footed Tortoise bop their head to assert dominance and show emotions#Head hopping and headbutting is Vincent’s tic and you can tell how he’s feeling by how fast or slow he goes because it’s a VIBE#Working on this comic was like the preverbal attempt of taking a horse to water#except this horse is a pony (anything under 14 hands is of the devil) and would not even spare it a glance unless it was perfection#Alas mockery and spite is unfortunately my demise and I could not handle the blank page any longer#Can you see how my style changed when the focus and subject changed?😅#Forgive me my son#for I have not learned to draw you from all angles yet.#Why did I make you so pretty and detailed in my head and yet have my hand betray you?!#The true tragedy is when your idea level is not at your skill level bECaUsE I KnOw wHaT hEs SuPpOsEd To LoOk LiKe BuT I CaNt DrAw HiM yEt#So here we are and I am accutely aware of how much work there is to be done. I’m looking at you flippin turtle anatomy#But hey we all have to start somewhere#so here I am#I tried and by golly I will keep trying. Vincent deserves that much 😅🧡🫡#I just looked back at this and realized I MISSED A STINKING PANEL. And Vincent’s shirt.#Flips a table in my mind#Also I’ve never made a mute character before so if anybody has notes especially about ASL PLEASE PLEASE P L E A S E lemme know.#Wanna make sure I represent the peoples correctly 🫡🧡
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Pretty proud of how far I’ve come this year
#I have struggled with crippling anxiety for a long time and this year I really wanted to overcome it and become more independent#like#I used to be absolutely terrified of leaving the house#things like driving and going places alone would make me have crazy panic attacks#but this year I’ve done a lot and I’ve overcome a lot and gained so much confidence#I’ve flown across the country twice this year#driven on some pretty intimidating roads like the highway and freeway#gone on solo bike rides for miles through the woods#eaten tons of new foods#I know those sorts of things might seem very simple and normal everyday things#but I have ocd and it can make my anxiety pretty bad#it can also make a lot of my fears rather irrational#likes like trying new foods and going new places are genuinely intimidating for me#bc it makes me feel like I’m going to die lol#but I’ve done ALOT of things I was scared to do#I’ve come along way#and it may seem like boring basic stuff to some people#but considering I couldn’t leave my house two years ago without panicking to the point of losing feeling in my hands and feet#I think I did pretty good lol#I’m starting to feel like a confident person again#I’m starting to feel like I can LIVE again#and it’s pretty nice#just wanted to write this out somewhere lol that’s all#maybe it will be helpful for anyone struggling in similar ways#to see that improvement is possible#lol anyways happy November#mae rambles
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…
#yeah I’m very sure this is depression all over again.#fuckkkkkkkkkk this suckkkks I’ve seriously just had a relapse from like a year ago I’ve been tired and had no motivation for like a month#now and I’m also starting to lose my appetite. just crap I don’t want to deal with this bullshit all over again. I haven’t even eaten once#today and I’m still not hungry either. but anyway how’s life for you guys? probably better then mine lol#sleepy randomly rambles
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I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art
#my mental health is starting to improve a bit#took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me#ofc things aren’t 100% but I was really in a pit for a while#like ‘did not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a day’ kind of pit#so. any improvement is better lol. but nah I’ve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but that’s expected#diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed god’s sleepiest soldier#i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome#just learning how to enjoy things again overall#one thing I just couldn’t get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post#and it’s kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on#even when I wasn’t actively practicing#just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles#i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors#i spend hours in the scryshop im glad it’s paying off lmao#i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again#for now im having fun and that’s coooool. thank you all for your nice comments#i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all#that’s the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully#starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing#so who knooowwwsss#rambles#funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL#i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first#anyways that’s a whole different tangent rant over
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this might be weird but the bathhouse episode of WAN really got me thinking about Atsushi’s hygiene because in it he said that he only uses a bar of soap to clean himself, a habit left over from his time at the orphanage. and now i can’t stop imagining Atsushi’s first solo-trip to the grocery store where he had to go and buy stuff for his hygiene
outside of the bar of soap, he does strike me as the guy who would use dish soap for his hair in a pinch because “soap is soap,” or he would buy the 14-in-one shampoo, conditioner, body wash, toothpaste, motor oil, etcetera is. tbh Dazai probably told him to use it (either as a serious recommendation or as a cruel bit, nobody knows). it also wouldn’t surprise me if he didn’t know anything about cologne either and (A) doesn’t wear any, (B) bought the cheapest most basic one available, or (C) was gifted some by Kunikida. tbh he probably smells like whatever laundry detergent he gets, cause that’s the only real scented thing he’s got T.T
but my main thing is.. what the fuck does he buy for Kyouka?? because they live together, and he’s pretty much her primary caretaker, so obviously he’d also be the one shopping for her. but this little girl was mentored by people like Kouyou, Verlaine, and Akutagawa, so obviously she’d have excellent hygiene. but what??? the fuck is he supposed to buy her??????
honestly he’d prob panic and call up like. Naomi or someone. and ask what to get her, to which she’d be like “uhhh shampoo, conditioner, and body wash?? some lotion if you’re feeling fancy???? Atsushi this is common knowledge why are you asking me this.” in the end he’d get her some sweet, cutesy scent like strawberries or cherry blossom, and bring it home and be like “hey!!!! i tried my hardest!!!!!!!!!” and Kyouka, used to the Port Mafia paycheck and Kouyou’s doting, would look at it like “what the fuck is this. thank you dearly but what the fuck is this.”
it’d be many moons until that girl got her hands on some nice perfume, either by getting Atsushi to buy it for her or getting it as a gift from a member of the agency. i could also def see her spritzing her stuffed bunny with her fave perfume
uhm. anyways Atsushi smells like laundry detergent and cheap cologne, and Kyouka, little miss spoiled-by-Kouyou, is surviving as best she can
#i love atsushi so much but this man would be so lost in a bath & bodyworks#‘kyouka what’s shower gel. also what kinda scent is A Thousand Wishes.’#hey guys sorry about this i was in the car for like two hours today and my mind Wandered#and now i have a weird amount of bsd hygiene headcanons#which i will share if even slightly prompted 👀#anyhow hi guys. i’ve started rambling again <3#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bsd atsushi#bsd kyouka#bsd atsushi nakajima#bsd kyouka izumi
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mannn i wish i had been taking notes while playing p4 lol. i took notes while playing p3p, but i started pretty late-game and was pretty much entirely slink and persona plans. p4g’s life is of more quality and i was playing more regularly so the only notes i have are the yosukeism counter and a reminder abt the okina city crane. and now it’s been 10 months since i played and all of my specific knowledge about the story and characters and My Stats has been blasted out of my mind. i do have a long log of my Posts to read though. hopefully that’ll jog my memory enough to cohere lol.
#i’m gonna try to play again tonight or tomorrow and hopefully i’ll get the momentum to get back on the train#maybe i’ll start a personal discord channel log. i’ve been doing that for games i play recently and it helps#easier to take notes when it’s stream of consciousness posting without concern of making sense#rambles
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So I starting the next chapter and, like, here’s the Thing. This is the chapter where theoretically, I’m gonna cause so much trouble for myself. I’m 95% certain that if I put bozo #1 and bozo #2 in a room together, [redacted spoiler] is gonna happen. And like. I’m committed to my craft. But I cannot ignore how much of a bad idea this is going to be for me, a lover of maintaining my peace.
In my brain I am justifying this by reminding myself that I’m already 500k words in. At this point, I have earned the right to write whatever the hell I want. And if you’ve made it this far into the story, you’re probably very down for my bullshit.
And, like, I also need to do whatever is the fanfic equivalent of rent lowering gunshots. Too many people are treating CTB like it’s mainstream. Gotta keep the target audience to a minimal.
But even then, I cannot ignore that this is gonna be a terrible idea and I am going to cause such a shit show lmao
#taking a slow start to the chapter cause I have a thing I need to work on first#there is a 45% chance that i chicken out and don’t do it but again. I’ve written half a million words already. I’ve earned the right to go#a little insane#like I already got a guy flayed. whats the worst I can do now#i am also preparing to be an obstinate jackass to anyone to complains lmao#me rambling#lu ctb#remind me to delete this later
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so where’s the old men yaoi
I’m lookin right at you @sprucinator3000
Anyway, the old men yaoi will be soon-
#tsp#the stanley parable#this is all /lh lol#completely unrelated—I’ve started school again! and Senior year is a lot more busy than I expected😭#so I might not be able to post as frequently as I usually do without straight up collapsing#sorry y’all :(#answering asks#emiletb ramblings#my art
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so guess who fell asleep in the middle of writing last night : ) asdfgh gonna try to do a few things on mobile to make up for it!!
#i gotta stop writing in bed and start writing at my desk but… comfy 😭#still having bnha and jjk thoughts btw… but also modern fantasy… i’ve arrived yet again at the hyperfixation station :’ ))))#get ready to ramble | ooc
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binge re-reading DYWTK has me realizing just how many subtle hints of shit to come that i casually insert without even noticing, and they’re all so fucking small that i don’t think a single person except for me will ever notice them 😅 oopsie
#mine#just rambling#i can’t believe i’m almost done#i’ve spent HOURS reading every day since like i think thursday#and finally i’m almost back to the final chapter that’s been posted#which means i can finally start writing again#and damn has rereading given me some ideas#do you want to know#dywtk
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i wish every sleep token artist a very indulgent drawing of the boys wearing a traditional outfit from your culture
#guyphantom ramblings#sleep token posting#i wanna draw them in ao dai so bad#but i’ve been busy cuz class has started again
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My god I need to finish this website so I can write diary entries and not be this obvious abt it
#ive lost part of the embarrassment of splaying my thoughts out here when I need to get them out since I ramble in the tags anyway#but a small part of me gurgles and whines nooo ohh no its gonna show up on my precious mutuals timeline noooo#then again idek what I would write for the purpose of keeping a journal than share my wretched visions as they come the way I’m doing now#im so bored. ive always had sleep problems when it comes to drifting off so getting sedated was really nice for once#listening to minecraft music helps because I drift off focusing to each piano key and note so thats an improvement#but like I wanna work on this stupid website but idk how to start like it feels daunting somehow#I’m gonna get it done either way but I have to do it feeling whatever this emotion is and I know this but guh. bbbhhuhgb#also wtf would I even put on that thing. I can see myself getting bored of it really quickly as soon as I feel like I’ve done all I can#but i still wanna have everything in one place where I can do whatever I want with the css/html#diary#yapping#I wonder if I can get them to extract the rest of my wisdom teeth just so I have smth to do
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