#so I might not be able to post as frequently as I usually do without straight up collapsing

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

[emile-tb]

so where’s the old men yaoi

I’m lookin right at you @sprucinator3000

Anyway, the old men yaoi will be soon-

[txmxkis]

i'm only really me when i'm here with you

pairing. boothill x gn!reader

genre. hurt/comfort

wc. 1.5k+

summary. you're determined to help boothill heal from his trauma by... doing his hair?

warnings. i took liberties with this, who knows what specific parts he actually has left or whether he can blush or not (in my heart he can lol), mention of boothill picking u up but i mean. he’s literally so strong he could handle anything, i made him soooo sad and it’s possibly wildly out of character, selfship coded as usual rip

a/n. continuing the tradition of using lyrics from songs on selfship playlists for fic titles lol. based on my tags on this post

they say that trauma is stored in the body, and while boothill didn't necessarily have a complete body anymore, this was still something that you thought about frequently when it came to his physical form.

regardless of just how much of his original self remained, there was still enough of him left that you were sure it had to be true in some capacity. after all, he retained his head and his heart—at least you were fairly certain—two of the most vital components of human anatomy.

it was so hard to read him. the real him. he tried so hard to always act confident and cool. actually, he didn't even really have to try or act. it seemed as if it came to him naturally and endlessly. there was a perpetual air of optimism surrounding him that was difficult to dim even on his most wearisome days.

even after experiencing whatever horrors he had to face from mission to mission, when he came home, the door to whatever room you were currently in would fling open—sometimes scaring you half to death—and he would greet you so happily that it felt as if there were no terrible things in the universe whatsoever.

you cherished his mannerisms, especially because you could be a pessimistic sort of person. rather frequently, in fact. you loved having him near you, able to draw laughter from you, however unwillingly it might be on your part at times. he was oddly skilled at making you feel assured and comfortable, in a way that nothing and no one had ever done before. you couldn’t seem to remember how you ever lived without his encouragement, and you didn’t think you could ever feel truly whole without it again.

there really was no accounting for his relentlessly positive attitude. given what he'd seen and endured, you thought it was damn near impossible to be as carefree as he seemed to be. at any rate, he did manage it. however, there were times, moments he rarely ever allowed you to witness, in which his façade would falter slightly and betray just how heavily the past weighed on him.

occasionally, you would catch him staring at his reflection, a downcast expression painting his beautiful features. every time you spoke of your family, you could detect glimpses of sadness in his eyes, albeit hidden behind a smile. once you even caught him crying as silently as he could—you assumed so as not to alert you—his shoulders sagging under an unforeseen weight, a look on his face that you could only describe as heartbroken. your own heart broke with his in that moment.

you always tried to be particularly attentive following those moments, but it was so difficult to get him to open up to you. he just wanted you to be happy. to not bother worrying about him. you had your own problems, after all, and there was no need for him to add to your burden. no need for him to ask for your pity.

he knew you cared for him deeply enough that it would cause you pain, and even if it was only a fragment of the grief that he lived with every day, he was sure that he would feel terribly and incessantly guilty about it. if he could remove every single aspect of your life that caused you suffering, he would do it in a heartbeat, and he could say that because it was one of the few original parts he had left. how could he add to that suffering by forcing you to imagine all the horrors from his own life?

it took so much time and effort on your part to convince him to open the door to himself, if even just a tiny crack. he was still extremely careful with his words and the details that he disclosed to you—he didn't want to overwhelm you, and he certainly didn't want to hurt you. in reality, these conversations, painful as they were for you to hear, actually helped you to feel as though you could comfort him more effectively.

yes, it hurt immensely to know even a small fraction of how much anguish he had experienced. yes, you despised the people who had done this to him and wanted to fight them yourself, in fact. yes, your chest felt tight with ache and sadness on his behalf. still, you could help him more by knowing than by not knowing.

eventually, you were able to make it this far, brushing through his hair as gently as your hands could manage. he had confessed to you in one of his more vulnerable moments that the white shock of hair on his head often served as a stark reminder of worse times, of the trauma and stress inflicted on his body. the admission gave you an idea, one that made boothill feel more than just a little bit exposed. he wasn’t accustomed to being looked after like this, with so much affection and love.

you began to make a routine out of it. every day you would do something with his hair—whether it was braiding it and tying it up intricately to make him feel pretty or simply combing through the strands and allowing them to cascade around his shoulders and down his back.

sometimes you would sit him in front of a mirror while you worked so that he could see exactly what you were doing in the moment. he didn’t quite understand how it all came together, but he found it fascinating to see how you twisted and weaved. at times, you were so focused on the hair in your hands that your brows would furrow, tongue poking out slightly between your lips. in the reflection, you genuinely looked like you were enjoying yourself.

even more noticeable to him was the expression you wore when you looked at him through the mirror. your gaze was so full of tenderness that his chest ached. he could swear that his heart actually skipped a beat. whenever that happened, you could see a flaring blush creep up his cheeks and into his ears, and you couldn’t help but laugh just a little bit at how endearing it was.

other times, you would settle on the couch, with him seated on the floor between your legs, adorning his hair with the cutest accessories, the two of you laughing and joking the whole time. you would delicately twist the locks back, securing them with pretty, multicolored clips that shone in the light.

when you were done, you would lead him slowly to a mirror, hands over his eyes, nearly stumbling over his legs as you walked behind him. you would pull your hands quickly from his face, revealing your handiwork, beaming with pride and grinning at how adorable he looked. he loved every minute of it—and every bit of you, he would think to himself as he turned to pick you up and spin you around, laughing in that deep voice of his. then he’d set you down gently, thanking you for your hard work with kisses sprinkled across your face.

days that were particularly trying for him would simply be spent in comfortable silence. when he didn’t feel like talking from the pain of it all, he would wordlessly lay his head on your chest as you ran your fingers through his long locks. feeling your touch—the slight pull on his scalp, the tickle of shifting hair—it all made him feel so relaxed that he could melt right into your skin until you absorbed him fully into you. often, the combination of this and the gentle, steady beat of your heart would lull him to sleep, and seeing his expression ease and soften in these moments was all the reward you ever needed.

in the beginning, it was unclear whether this dedicated time spent caring for his hair was helping or not. over time, however, you noticed a glimmer in his eyes—something that told you he would be alright, despite everything.

pain still remained; it always would, but instead of constantly gazing at his reflection with grief, every once in a while you would catch a hint of a smile pulling at his lips. it was as if he was remembering how you hummed while placing those clips, or how he had teasingly whipped you with his hair on a more playful occasion, or any number of positive memories that you had put so much effort into lovingly crafting with him.

you were determined to do your best, slowly but surely, to lighten his burden—or at least help carry it. there was no reason for him to feel alone when he had you by his side. and if creating these happy memories was what you had to do in order to help him, well, you would gladly continue forever.

reblogs & interactions are appreciated! thank you for reading! <3 — txmxkis

[askablindperson]

In what way does alt text serve as an accessibility tool for blind people? Do you use text to speech? I'm having trouble imagining that. I suppose I'm in general not understanding how a blind person might use Tumblr, but I'm particularly interested in the function of alt text.

In short, yes. We use text to speech (among other access technology like braille displays) very frequently to navigate online spaces. Text to speech software specifically designed for blind people are called screen readers, and when use on computers, they enable us to navigate the entire interface using the keyboard instead of the mouse And hear everything on screen, as long as those things are accessible. The same applies for touchscreens on smart phones and tablets, just instead of using keyboard commands, it alters the way touch affect the screen so we hear what we touch before anything actually gets activated. That part is hard to explain via text, but you should be able to find many videos online of blind people demonstrating how they use their phones.

As you may be able to guess, images are not exactly going to be accessible for text to speech software. Blindness screen readers are getting better and better at incorporating OCR (optical character recognition) software to help pick up text in images, and rudimentary AI driven Image descriptions, but they are still nowhere near enough for us to get an accurate understanding of what is in an image the majority of the time without a human made description.

Now I’m not exactly a programmer so the terminology I use might get kind of wonky here, but when you use the alt text feature, the text you write as an image description effectively gets sort of embedded onto the image itself. That way, when a screen reader lands on that image, Instead of having to employ artificial intelligences to make mediocre guesses, it will read out exactly the text you wrote in the alt text section.

Not only that, but the majority of blind people are not completely blind, and usually still have at least some amount of residual vision. So there are many blind people who may not have access to a screen reader, but who may struggle to visually interpret what is in an image without being able to click the alt text button and read a description. Plus, it benefits folks with visual processing disorders as well, where their visual acuity might be fine, but their brain’s ability to interpret what they are seeing is not. Being able to click the alt text icon in the corner of an image and read a text description Can help that person better interpret what they are seeing in the image, too.

Granted, in most cases, typing out an image description in the body of the post instead of in the alt text section often works just as well, so that is also an option. But there are many other posts in my image descriptions tag that go over the pros and cons of that, so I won’t digress into it here.

Utilizing alt text or any kind of image description on all of your social media posts that contain images is single-handedly one of the simplest and most effective things you can do to directly help blind people, even if you don’t know any blind people, and even if you think no blind people would be following you. There are more of us than you might think, and we have just as many varied interests and hobbies and beliefs as everyone else, so where there are people, there will also be blind people. We don’t only hang out in spaces to talk exclusively about blindness, we also hang out in fashion Facebook groups and tech subreddits and political Twitter hashtags and gaming related discord servers and on and on and on. Even if you don’t think a blind person would follow you, You can’t know that for sure, and adding image descriptions is one of the most effective ways to accommodate us even if you don’t know we’re there.

I hope this helps give you a clearer understanding of just how important alt text and image descriptions as a whole are for blind accessibility, and how we make use of those tools when they are available.

[drdemonprince]

on the topic of your "bad gender" posts, the one you made mentioning sexual abuse (especially by mothers) is something nobody talks about at all and I'm glad you mentioned it.

My psychiatrist said I have CPTSD after I went through a huge breakdown after putting pieces together that I've been experiencing long-term sexual abuse from my mother (incredibly long story, but you get the idea). I still completely struggle with seeing what she's done and does as abuse, because it is totally buried in my mind that it is not abusive or strange because she is my mother. No matter how many times my friends and partner say it's wrong, or things like "imagine if it was your father", or my DBT therapist is straight up with me and tells me I was groomed by her, I just cannot get the idea that her being my mother specifically makes her behavior acceptable. (especially since I didn't come out as broadly transmasc until I was 18, and was thus seen as a complete extension of her and her body prior to).

I genuinely cannot comprehend where the line is between normal care and abuse because of what I've learned (from her or otherwise) maternal care looks like "compared to" paternal. And I just haven't found anything that's been able to really help me grasp what I've experienced because I just cannot understand why, or what I can do. The only thing I've found with others describing my specific experience is the MDSA subreddit, which is usually just extremely triggering for me to browse (obviously the content, but also the daughter framing and just the everything about it) so I don't go there, but it has shown me that many of us have lived very similar experiences, we just rarely recognized it as abnormal because it was our mother. Perceiving men as the inherently "bad gender" especially in terms of sexual abuse just makes me see red, and is a lot of why this can keep going on unnoticed. I don't really know what I'm trying to say, and I'm sorry to dump this here. It's hard to discuss the nuance of it without being kinda specific. I just saw you mention it and I rarely see the topic brought up, so I guess I just wanted to say thank you for doing so

Thank you so much for sharing this, anon. SO many children endure parentification, spousification, covert incest, and sexual abuse at the hands of their mothers and never get that mistreatment recognized as such because people view women as benevolent, passive caretakers rather than full human beings who are capable of harm. Adults wield immense power over children, particularly parents, and this power structure functions in much the same way men's power over women does -- it makes children into the property of adults, and facilitates abuse.

You are not alone in this experience at all. I'm sure you've heard all about Jeannette McCurdy's Memoir, but if you haven't read it, you might find it affirming. The poet Anne Sexton also sexually abused her daughter, Linda, who wrote a memoir about it called Searching for Mercy Street that is also a powerful read. The host of the podcast The Mental Illness Happy Hour is an adult survivor of covert sexual abuse at the hand of his mother, and he speaks about it quite frequently and thoughtfully on his show, and has interviewed numerous guests who have also survived covert incest. As a male survivor of sexual abuse at the hands of a woman, he's a rare, needed voice, and I've gotten a ton out of listening to it. There's also a self-help book on covert incest that I've read and appreciated called Silently Seduced. You may also find value in Issendai's analysis of estranged parent forums -- lots of documentation of abusive female parents and how they justify themselves to be found there, and the author eviscerates it expertly.

I hope that reading and listening to some of this material will help you to more clearly see the outlines of your own abuse and to recognize it as wrong and distinct from true maternal care. It wasn't my mom who was the chief boundary violator in my household, it was my dad, but a lot of what he did mimicked the traditionally "maternal" abuse profile, and all these resources helped me wrap my head around it a lot better. It's triggering stuff, but I think it is worth plunging these depths when you feel safe to do so, to what ever degree you can comfortably manage. You might want to dig up the Mental Illness Happy Hour episodes specifically about the host's abuse experience first, since that focuses on a man's experience of having been groomed by his mom.

Thanks for writing. My inbox is open if you wanna talk. This stuff was a foundational trauma for me that I have processed heavily and I'm always willing to discuss it more with people who have been there. <3

[yamujiburo]

✨YAMUJIBURO F.A.Q.✨

Should've made this a while ago! I'm starting to get a lot of the same questions in my inbox nowadays tho and I feel bad for clogging up y'all's timelines with the same questions haha

GENERAL QUESTIONS

Who are you?

I'm Kiana, I'm a queer, Japanese Jamaican woman, and a Director/Storyboard artist at Disney Television Animation.

What are your pronouns

I usually go by she/her but I don't really mind any pronouns~

Where did you go to school?

California College of the Arts (but I dropped out when I was hired at Disney)

How did you get hired at Disney?

My bosses found me on twitter through my Team Rocket fanart. They liked my drawing style and asked if I wanted to take a storyboard test. I did, I passed, I got interviewed and moved to LA two weeks later to start storyboarding.

Is this a repost blog??

No, you might know be better as @kianamaiart. This is just my Pokémon sideblog where I post exclusively (for the most part) Team Rocket and Pokémon art.

What does your username mean?

It's a combination of the main 4 Team Rocket members' Japanese names: Yamato (cassidy), Musashi (jessie), Kojiro (james), Kosaburo (butch)

What program and brush do you use to draw?

Default brush in Storyboard pro

**************************************

GENERAL POKEMON QUESTIONS

Who's your favorite Pokémon?

What are your favorite ships?

Any ship with Jessie. Yamushipping, Rocketshipping and Hanamusashipping are my top three!

Who do you ship Ash with?

I was a big Pokéshipper when I was younger but nowadays don't really feel strongly about any of the ships involving the kid characters. I'm also in the "Ash is aroace" camp.

Do you have any trans headcanons?

You can find em here along with other headcanons! It should be noted that I don't usually marry myself to one hc (unless it's for a specific AU I'm trying to build out) and love seeing various interpretations of a character! Trans woman Jessie, Trans woman James, Trans man James, Genderfluid Jessie, give em to me!

Do you play the games?

I've played all the mainline Pokémon games and very much enjoy them! But I am much more invested in the anime and the characters in the anime.

**************************************

HANAMUSA AU QUESTIONS

Where can I read all the comics in order?

Here! I update anytime I make a new comic and list them in chronological order (since I just draw comics at random points in the timeline as they interest me). This post also already answers some of the frequently asked questions about this AU like: How did Jessie and Delia meet? What are James and Meowth up to? How old are Jessie and Delia? etc.

What does "Hanamusa" mean?

Hanamusa is a combination of Delia and Jessie's Japanese names, Hanako and Musashi respectively.

When does this AU take place?

It takes place sometime after the Mezase Pokémon Master/To Be a Pokémon Master series. So all the events that happened in the series, unless retconned within the series, happened. Ash is 10 at the start of the comics.

What's the status between Jessie, James, Meowth and Giovanni/Team Rocket?

Not great terms since they were fired, but also not the worst terms. Giovanni just let the three of them go without any further issues. I will say that I've always loved the theory that Giovanni keeps Jessie specifically around because of her parentage and he as a soft spot for her that he keeps a secret. I feel like Matori was the one that got the three of them fired and Giovanni wasn't able to make an excuse for them this time (without showing nepotism/special treatment) so he was forced to let them go.

If you headcanon Delia as a lesbian, how did Ash come to be?

Delia was young when she had Ash and I hc that she just didn’t really explore her sexuality much! I myself didn’t realized I liked women until I was 18 and didn’t know I liked ONLY women until like 2 years ago. She got married, had a baby and realized after her husband left that she liked women (trans people exist obviously but I’m also interpreting Ash’s father as a cis man).

Who do you think Ash’s dad is?

I don’t know and I don’t really care to explore it. I’m going off of the novel interpretation that he’s just a deadbeat that left to be a trainer, failed and never came back because of the shame. He’s not important.

Isn’t Giovanni Ash’s dad?

That’s a common misconception that people remember wrong from the Pokémon Live show. Delia mentions she dated Giovanni but then left him and his gang after meeting Ash’s father. I also don’t consider the live show canon personally! I follow The Birth of Mewtwo timeline where Madame Boss founded Team Rocket.

Do you think Delia and Giovanni dated at least?

Nah, I think he’s too old for her? I always got the vibe from The Birth of Mewtwo that he was quite a bit older than Jessie and it’d be sus if he was dating Delia when she was married to, and had a child with her husband at 18/19. He’s a bad guy but not a BAD guy.

You mentioned you still ship Jessie and James. Why not make a Jessie, James, Delia polycule?

I have a few reasons I’ve mentioned before! 1. I’m in super deep with this AU already and I feel it’d be very confusing for casual viewers of my stuff if James was added into the relationship haha. 2. I’ve drawn Jessie and James together since 2011 and took this AU as an opportunity to try my hand at writing them as queer, platonic besties bc I love that interpretation of them a lot as well. 3. I’m not poly myself and the way I write this ship is largely based off of my experiences with my girlfriend. I just know I’d favor the Jessie/Delia of it all which isn’t fair and not a good interpretation of a poly relationship. All that said, I DO super enjoy seeing peoples’ poly headcanons and art!

Who does James end up with in this AU?

No one. He's aroace and is happy to be single

Do Jessie and James have all their Pokémon in this AU

I think they have all the Pokémon that they did by the end of Mezase Pokémon Master (all their Pokémon that were left at HQ). Most of their released Pokémon have stayed released and the Alola Pokémon are still in Alola. I bring back Arbok and Weezing post-Jessie and Delia getting married. I may bring back Chimecho, Growlie and Cacnea if I think of an idea I like!

What are Meowth and James up to in this AU?

Hop back to the top of this post under the "Where to Start" section. All your questions will be answered.

Does Ash travel with anyone at this point of his life?

I don't have anyone in particular in mind! I could see him making new friends (Nemona???) or traveling with different combinations of old friends. Like him, Misty and Goh, him, Dawn and Cilan, him, Serena and Lillie etc.

Will Delia ever get over her phobia of snake Pokémon

Not fully! I think overcoming fears is fine and good but I think real PHOBIAS are much harder to get past and I don't want to cheapen it. She slowly gets used to Jessie's Seviper specifically and gets to the point where she can pet it comfortably with Jessie in the room. But otherwise, still scared and would need that same amount of time per Pokémon

Is Jessie gaining weight or is it just me?

Not just you! Jessie puts on a bit of relationship weight overtime as you'll see in the later comics in the timeline. Jessie grew in poverty, never knowing when her next meal would be and that continued into her life as a Team Rocket member. Once she was able to settle down (with a woman who runs her own restaurant no less) she's able to live a healthier lifestyle with regular meals and puts on some weight because of that.

Does Jessie ever feel self conscious about gaining weight?

Nope! She feels happier and healthier and hotter. She's also unreasonably excited to clear out her old clothes and get a new wardrobe.

Would Jessie and Delia ever have kids together or adopt?

Nah, Ash is enough for them! I have come up with hypothetical kids for them but they're not canon to this AU. Just a fun little thing for me.

Will you ever put this on webtoon?

Nah. People mostly ask me this because they want to read everything in the order of the timeline but to my knowledge, you can’t reorder chapters or installments which would defeat the purpose. I also don’t think nintendo fan stuff would fly there. Also, also it’s just extra work and another place to upload and I want to keep this all fun for myself~

[sailorblossoms-rankane]

Hi! I love your Rankane analysis posts be it on twitter or tumblr! 💕💕

I have some questions about the manga:

1) When Akane gave Ranma a piggy-back ride bc dr. Tofu messed up his hips, Ranma remembered dr. Tofu's words "Akane is really a very sweet girl, you'll understand soon enough" – in which, Ranma replied internally with "oh yeah? Not yet buddy, not yet." Do you think Ranma said that because: a) he still can't see Akane's sweetness, b) he's in denial because he's a tsundere, or c) he's in denial bc he tried to give up his feelings for her, bc she already likes dr. Tofu? I personally lean on idea #c bc he tried to do that on the prev P.E class, and he always called her "uncute" whenever she's not friendly to him; but what do you think?

2) In Bakusai Tenketsu arc, it was the first time Ranma tastes Akane's cooking. Ranma tries so hard to eat Akane's cooking, but Akane always look at Ryoga bc he happens to compliment her cooking vocally. Later on in the series, Ranma never eat Akane's cooking voluntarily unless he really, really has to. I have a hunch: it's because Ranma realizes early on, that, no matter how hard he tries to appreciate Akane's cooking by eating it, she'll never look his way anyway, so why bother trying. Do you think that's really the case? Because if so, I feel sorry for Ranma :"D

3) At the end of Shishi Houkoudan arc, Kasumi noted that Ranma is feeling depressed. Do you think he's depressed because: a) he's frustrated Ryoga still managed to beat him up even without the Shishi Houkoudan, or b) he's upset by the fact that he & Akane has never kissed? I think it's hilarious if #b is the case. Ryoga was upset when Akane said she hated him, even though he's the one who asked her to say that. Ranma was upset to acknowledge the fact he & Akane has never kissed, even though he's the one who bring it up. Both men are depressed because Akane never reciprocate their feelings. All of this heartbreak, just to master a technique. I think it's hilarious. What do you think?

Sorry for the long asks! I have a lot of pent-up ideas regarding Rankane, lol. You don't have to answer it all, I just want to share my Rankane thoughts to someone! Thank you, I hope you have a lovely day! 💕👋

Alright, number 1:

Ranma tends to be in denial as a way to protect himself and because he doesn't want to give in (he never wants to lose). You can see that in how he usually teases Akane by calling her "uncute," but there's a pattern of Ranma having an internal battle when she smiles... dude is about to pass out, obviously finding her extremely cute, and he thinks "she's kinda... cute. a little bit. sorta" ... he doesn't want to admit it! then in the armor arc, when he says she's cute out loud and she doesn't believe him, he goes "you don't believe me???? then you are NOT cute" – he's "taking it back" to protect himself from the rejection. It's armor, so I too lean on option c.

Number 2:

Here's what I think is going on with Akane's cooking.... Ranma is very much jealous and bothered by Akane paying attention to Ryoga, we see this frequently. But in that first arc you mention, Akane isn't just looking at Ryoga. She leaves Ranma to be with Ryoga, so it's not just a matter of attention... it's the idea that not being able to eat her poisonous cooking like Ryoga does might become the reason he "loses her," that she might choose Ryoga over him.

So when he keeps trying it again and again to eat it, he's showing he doesn't want to lose her.

There's that arc with Kodachi too, when Akane is upset at Ranma not wanting to eat her cookies. She leaves the Kuno's house, except she comes back to save him, and so Ranma eats them because it really matters to her (her being upset at Ranma not eating her cooking is really emphasize it, especially because Ranma will "eat Kodachi's")

In the Shinnosuke arc, Ranma pretty much tells us the reason he becomes comfortable running away from her cooking.

In short, he feels safe running from her cooking because feels like deep down she's not really affected (if she is, the situation changes). He's even comfortable enough to tease her about it.

Number 3:

I'm gonna be real with you, I haven't really thought about it. My instinct tells me that Ranma really considering kissing Akane would have him combusting and passing out on the spot, but framing-wise...

The entire arc is about Ryoga being fit for the shishi houkoudan because he's eternally depressed, and Ranma being unfit because he's essentially too happy for it. In what's essentially a punchline, we see the roles being reversed while Akane is saying she never kissed Ranma... Ranma could be muttering and whatever because he just got his ass beat by Ryoga (Ranma wins that fight! the ass beat he receives is way after the fight is over and doesn't really count as being "a loss"... even if he's still feeling the hits lol) or for any reason whatsoever, maybe he's not even paying attention (he's not really big on deep thinking, the biggest and most direct acknowledgment he gives is when he thinks Akane is about to "confess" to Ryoga and gets pissed). But framing-wise, we could say the contrast is there to connect it with what Akane is saying.

[bachissidehoe]

look at the mess you made - itoshi s.

chapter 3 of 7 of the blue lock band series. chapter 1. chapter 2. chapter 4. chapter 5. chapter 6. chapter 7.

synopsis: y/n struggles to leave some of the bands' post-concert parties without the help from one of the members, but surprisingly, drummer itoshi sae is the only one around to provide her an excuse. even though she knows sae the least out of the band members, she'll still let him walk her back to her room...

warnings: smut; penetration; riding; degradation; facial; scratching; fem reader; minors DNI

disclaimer: all songs referenced are credited to THE DEEP END

w.c. 3.2k

The life of Blue Lock’s professional journalist involves awkward hours consisting of interviewing the boys, watching and taking notes on their shows, frequently meeting with Reo and Bachira to proofread articles and social media posts, and setting up discussions with potential sponsors. And so far, it’s been fantastic. Their past 3 shows have completely sold out and she’s only been working with them for a month. But it can also be exhausting, so when she gets the opportunity to wind down, she takes it. 

Tonight, however, is not one of those nights. 

“Another, miss?” 

“Let me buy it for you, gorgeous!” 

“Come dance with me.” 

The sounds of semi-important people connected to the band somehow. Rich people who sponsor them, engineers who worked the show, their families. It’s a frequent occurrence, these parties that take place after a show. It’s important that these events are good so they continue to get sponsorships, or at least that’s what Reo says. But anymore, it just seems like a festival of horny old rich dudes who ogle y/n like she’s an object for their use. She can’t even count the amount of excuses she’s had to come up with to avoid making a random guy mad that she won’t fuck him. 

“Sorry, I have to-” She stops, realizing none of her usual excuses are here. Usually, nobody will question it if she has to “ask Isagi a question” or “go over something with Mikage”. But both of them, in fact most of the band, seems to have left already. She can feel her blood start to boil, knowing that more than likely, Isagi’s found another random girl to fuck. It shouldn’t still bother her, considering she still lets him rail her whenever he sees fit, but she’s a little tipsy so she can’t help it. 

“What do you have to do sweetheart? Going somewhere?” An arm is suddenly wrapped around her shoulders, trapping her from going any further. 

“Yeah, what’s wrong? Have another guy you’re supposed to meet up with?” Another man slurs. They’re clearly drunk, and it doesn’t help that maybe y/n herself had one too many drinks, making it harder for her to think on her feet. 

She scans the bar, her eyes slightly blurred, looking for anyone she recognizes who might be able to help her out of this. 

“Goodnight y/n~” A familiar voice calls to her, halfway out the door. 

No, don’t leave. 

“Chigiri.” She says. Not loud enough. “Chigiri.” She tries again, but he’s also pretty drunk and stumbling. He might not be able to help her either. “Hyoma!” She says. 

“What’s it? Prrrretty girl~” He turns around, stumbling back through the door. “Who are youuu?” He turns his attention to the man holding onto her. “I don’t think she likes you, right y/n? She likes meeeee~” He giggles, hiccuping as he catches his balance on one of the bar tables next to them. 

“Well she’s with me tonight Chigiri Hyoma, hope you don’t mind.” The man smirks. For the life of y/n, she can’t remember his name. Some sponsor, some business owner, something like that. She’d get a serious talking to from Reo if she pisses him off. 

“Well I do~ mind.” He giggles again. “Y/n, when am I gonna get to fuck you? Like Isagi and such?” 

Y/n nearly falls over, and not because she’s slightly drunk. Why would he say that in front of these guys? Clearly he’s lost it. This doesn’t help her at all, it actually might make it worse. 

“Um, uh if you see the chance take it.” She rushes through her words, her eyes darting around again, looking for a way out. 

“Y/n! With Chigiri Hyoma!” 

“Oh no.” She mumbles, as another familiar voice enters the conversation- if this interaction can even be called a conversation. 

“Aiku!” Chigiri throws his arm around him like they’re best friends. It’s not like they’re not friends, but definitely not the type to hang over each other the way they are now. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like Oliver is sober enough to help her either. 

Oliver Aiku, the lead singer of Blue Lock’s opener, Ubers- also consisting of lead guitarist Aryu Jyubei, bassist Niko Ikki, and drummer Barou Shouei. As if the misfortune is following l/n y/n tonight, none of the other members of Ubers are around either. Just Oliver, the known fuckboy, who’s even more drunk than Chigiri. 

“Y/n, are we all taking you upstairs or what?” Oliver jokes, nudging Chigiri and the other man who still hasn’t stopped touching her. 

“That would be lovely.” The man grips y/n’s shoulder tighter, which honestly seems to sober her up quite a bit. That doesn’t sound lovely, it sounds awful. 

“Alright, that’s enough. Y/n, help me take these guys back to their rooms.” A new voice, a deep, monotone, unbothered voice. A voice that doesn’t sound drunk at all. 

“Sae!” She practically leaps for joy, meeting his striking teal eyes. 

“Let’s go. You’re pretty sober now, I could use your help with these two.” He places his hand on her shoulder. “If you’ll excuse me.” He nearly growls, dusting the man’s hand off her like it’s a bug he’s grossed out by.

Y/n breathes a sigh of relief, finally stepping out of the unfamiliar man’s grasp. 

“Have a good night sir, I have to help out with these two, thank you for coming!” She exclaims frantically, a nervous smile plastered across her face as she loops Chigiri’s hand over her shoulders. 

“This mean we’re fuckin’?” Chigiri slurs through his words, his eyes droopy as he uses y/n’s shoulder for support. 

“Why are you so fuckin’ heavy?” Sae groans, holding Oliver upright as they finally make their way out of the bar and begin the short walk across the street to the hotel. “Where’s Hyo’s room key?” Sae barks. 

“Are we fuckin’ Sae too?” Chigiri giggles. 

“You’re not fucking anything.” Sae sneers. 

“Hah! Fuckin’ virgin!” Oliver cackles, nearly slipping out of Sae’s grasp, but Sae grips harder, practically digging his nails into him to prevent him from falling onto the hard pavement. 

“Am not!” Chigiri argues. “Y/n told me when I see the chance, I should take it. Look see, she’s touchin’ me~ she wants me so bad hm~” 

“Ah, found it.” Y/n pulls her hand out of Chigiri’s pocket, pulling out his hotel room card.

“Found Oliver’s too.” Sae holds it up, looking for the room number.

Luckily, they’re on the same floor, making it easy enough to locate their rooms and put the drunk idiots to bed. It’s always someone who overdoes it, and after the long stretch of shows the boys have had, they probably deserve it too. 

Y/n sighs, leaning against the outside of Chigiri’s hotel room door and sliding down. She could fall asleep here, really. But she’ll take having to walk a drunk Chigiri home over having to fuck an ugly old guy any day of the week.

“You feeling okay, y/n?” She suddenly notices Sae standing in front of her, staring down at her pathetic looking figure. He sounds less than concerned, almost like he’s attempting to sound like he gives a fuck. It’s not necessarily working. 

Sae is the one y/n could say she knows the least out of the Blue Lock band members. He’s rude, stand-offish, and never seems like he wants to be there. Though he enjoys being part of the band, his attitude tends to spark conflict with potential sponsors and collaborators, leading to quite a few conversations between him and Reo about acting nice for a change. 

The drummer was a music prodigy as a child, having articles written about him, news stories done on him, and a number of fans even as an elementary school kid. He would frequently play shows as a guitarist with his younger brother Rin on bass, and it wasn’t until he went to study music at only 12 years old that he decided he’d become a drummer instead. 

“I’m fine, just resting for a sec.” She answers, forcing herself to her feet. 

Surprisingly, Sae grabs her arm, helping her stand. 

“I’m not drunk anymore.” She chuckles, referring to his hand tightly gripping her forearm.

“I know.” He says. “Where’s your room?” 

“Floor 10.” She answers. “I’ll be fine.” 

“Sure, but I’ll walk you back there.” 

Y/n stays silent, unsure of how to respond to a gesture like that. It seems reasonable enough, a guy wanting to walk a girl back to her room, especially after saving her from a potential harassment situation just an hour or so ago. But for Sae, it’s definitely a bit abnormal. He’s not usually one to take interest in protecting her, or anyone else for that matter. 

“What?” He asks, clearly noticing y/n’s change in demeanor. 

“Oh, nothing, I just didn’t expect you to wanna do that.” She says calmly as they begin their walk down the long hallway. 

“Why not?”

“What is this, 20 questions? I dunno, you just don’t seem like the type.”

“And you don’t seem like the type to be fucking Isagi every chance you get but here we are.” He fires back, clearly not the sudden nice guy y/n thought he turned into. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” She tugs her arm away, indicating that not only can she walk by herself, she’s also slightly annoyed.

“You’re awfully attached to him, considering he couldn’t care less about you. That’s all.” 

“Isa- Yoichi cares about me.” She argues.

“Sure, as a person, as a friend maybe. But not how you want him to.” 

“Who are you to tell me how he feels? Or even how I feel?” She stutters, feeling the tears welling already. Maybe she’s not as sober as she thought. 

Bachira said the same thing to her weeks ago now. And she still went back. She still hung onto the idea that maybe he was just using those girls to purposely make her jealous. She still convinced herself that Isagi Yoichi was- is- in love with her. And she still let him take from her whatever he wanted. 

“I’m just observing.” He shrugs.

“Don’t you have to go find some girl to fuck? Like Isagi and Nagi and them almost every night?” She spits. It’s not a good comeback, but she can’t think of anything that’ll get under his skin. She’s too tired for an argument with Itoshi Sae. 

Sae just chuckles. 

He’s a complicated one, for sure. He definitely doesn’t bring girls around as much as the other band members, except for his brother Rin, who does so even less. But still, he does occasionally, and never discusses it. In fact, Sae doesn’t discuss much at all. He’s the one who wrote one of their first songs “Look at the Mess You Made”, and insists it stays on their setlist, but y/n has no idea what makes him so attached to that song out of all of them. She’d love to know more, if she wasn’t so pissed at him she’d want to ask him some questions, get inside the mind of Itoshi Sae.

“How drunk are you?” Sae asks, pressing the button on the elevator. 

“I’m not drunk anymore.” She places a hand on her hip as if he was accusing her, stepping inside the elevator as the doors swing open. 

“Good.” He says, following her and watching the doors begin to close, his teal eyes peering to the side. Suddenly, y/n feels uneasy under his gaze- or maybe something different- somewhat aroused?

She doesn’t have time to analyze it further. The split second the doors shut, Sae has her pinned against the wall, his lips feverishly slamming into hers. She can’t react, she can’t tell her body how to handle this situation. His lips are already on hers. And she finds herself letting her eyes flutter shut, meeting each sporadic movement of his soft, pink lips with her own, letting her body go limp under his rough touch. His tongue slips and slides against hers, and she lets him too, making room for him to explore the insides of her mouth. 

She can only manage quick breaths, most of which turn to soft moans. He’s so harsh, so intense with his kiss, it’s nearly desperate. One of his hands remains pressed to the wall to hold her in, the other softly yet threateningly cups her cheek, the cold pads of his fingers pressing against her soft skin as if he’s holding back from breaking her neck. 

Every movement Sae makes is soft and smooth, riddled with an aura of sexual experience y/n would never guess he had. It’s so calculated, the way his tongue moves against hers isn’t forceful, but isn’t submissive either. She wants more of him, she wants to know how he moves, where his hands will go next, what positions he’ll put her in. She finds her hands traveling to his hips, a single finger dipping under his shirt to feel the softness of his muscular skin-

Ding.

And the elevator opens, forcing the two apart, with Sae suddenly standing at the door of the elevator to lead her out. 

They remain silent as well, y/n due to being completely stunned, and Sae due to pure smugness for pulling it off at all. He can read every emotion on her face, and most of them are horny. 

“This, um, this is my room.” She says quietly, awkwardly. It’s not that she didn’t like it, she actually wants more. But it came out of nowhere, she doesn’t even know Sae’s intentions. 

Sae stops, saying nothing as she unlocks the door. 

But she keeps going back to Isagi, doesn’t she? Even after Bachira arguably fucked her better, even after knowing he doesn’t intend to fall for her, date her, or even view her as anything other than a little fuck toy whenever he wants it. Maybe knowing the intentions makes it worse. Maybe this situation is exactly-

“Alright, night.” Sae turns around as y/n walks through the door of her dark hotel room. 

No, no. She shouldn’t. She doesn’t need any more of this. She doesn’t need to make this mess worse than it already is. 

“Wait-” She stops him, her body’s needs overpowering her logical side. 

“What’s that?” Sae turns around, a smug smirk plastered across his gorgeous face, his lips still plumped from kissing her just moments ago. 

She doesn’t say more, she doesn’t need to, instead grabbing him by the hand and pulling him through the door. 

Y/n feels like she blacks out for a while, kissing him like she’s been desperate for him for years, touching his body and giving him access to everything he wants of hers. By the time she comes back to her senses, his cock is stuffed deep in her soaked pussy, squelching noises echoing around the room as she bounces on him. It’s hard and fast, her hands pressed to his chest, his hands gripping her hips, guiding her up and down on his thick cock. 

Her legs already burn, but it doesn’t matter. She’s determined to ride him all night if she has to. She never thought it would be Sae out of all of them, she never thought she’d stare down at him, his eyes snapped shut and his auburn hair messily sticking to his forehead, short moans leaving his lips as she fucks herself on his cock. 

He’s so quiet, restricting himself to heavy breaths instead of speaking aloud. He doesn’t need to speak or tell her to go harder or compliment her- the way his body moves is enough to motivate her. How his cock twitches inside her as her walls hug him, how his chest rises and falls every time her hips crash down on him, how his hands squeeze tightly at her hips as if he wants to poke through to the other side. 

“S’good Sae.” Y/n restricts her vocals as well, but her shaking body hurdles closer to her orgasm with every movement. She leans forward on him, her lips nearly touching his as she bounces her ass on him, grinding into his cock so it hits the right spot to bring her closer. Her breath tickles his lips, his tongue, his nose- he loses himself for a moment, kissing her weakly, licking the drool off her lips. “So close~” She whines, pressing her clit into him, creating the last bit of friction she needs to drive her over the edge. 

“F-fuck~” Sae curses, his muscles tightening as he feels her pussy squeeze him in through her orgasm, his cock feeling every sensation of her wetness surrounding him like he’s drowning in it. Maybe he wishes he was. 

Y/n shakes, her body already burnt out from fucking him so hard, and she collapses on top of him, her muscles completely giving out. 

“Not done.” Sae groans, wrapping his arms around her limp body and swiftly flipping her on her back, her tits bouncing beautifully as she looks up at him, dazed and sensitive. 

He plunges back into her, feeling her warmth surround him once again, fitting snugly inside. In just a short second, Sae goes from being ridden like a dildo to fucking y/n like she’s the toy, rutting into her with a strength and speed that can only be described as godly, a beautiful destruction. 

Suddenly, Sae’s the only one who’s silent, with y/n completely unable to control the whimpers and curses that escape her into his awaiting ears, just motivating him to fuck her harder. She pushes at his chest, her weak hands pressing his skin and running through his hair, desperately clawing at him like she can’t decide if she wants him to stop or go harder. 

She sings his name like she’s praying to him, her rhythm matching with his deep thrusts, his experienced hands gripping at her tits. The overstimulation becomes too much, embarrassingly much, as she unexpectedly cums again, fluids rushing to coat the base of his cock and inner thighs as he drives it into her like a sword. 

“S’ry, Sae~ ah~” She can’t prevent the tears from streaming down her face as he leaves no part of her pussy unfucked. 

“You look pathetic.” Sae grunts, placing a hand on her wet cheek almost like he’s threatening to slap her. 

“Fuck~” She throws her head back.

“Ah, look at me.” Sae demands, forcing her gaze back to his striking teal eyes. Those eyes, they look so emotionless, which somehow makes it hotter. He doesn’t care if she lives or dies, and that’s all she could expect out of Itoshi Sae. “Gonna cum all over that pretty body.” He grunts.

It’s the first compliment he’s given her, catching her off guard enough to prevent her brain from processing his words. With a few more rough thrusts, he pulls out, stroking and squeezing at his cock as he holds it over her, finally spraying his thick load all over her. White ropes spurt from his twitching tip, coating her face, her hair, her tits. She’s covered in him. 

Her breathing is heavy as she lays helpless under him, drenched in his sticky cum, her pussy throbbing yet still pulsing for more. 

Sae snickers. “Hm, look at the mess you made.” He says, pressing his pink tip against her entrance once again. 

[immeasurablesaladagere]

Hi! I love your TUA content 💕. Can you please do some cg Viktor and regressor five headcanons? They have such a good dynamic and there's so little agere five content in this world. And Viktor being a unexpected cg makes so much sense with their past with kids (with Harlan but also their violin tutoring.)

(chanting) Little Five, little Five, little Five, little Five.

In my mind, unless you waterboarded it out of him, Viktor is the only one who would know about Five's regression on purpose. Eventually his other siblings might find out by accident, but that would be despite efforts made by the both of them to keep it quiet for Five's comfort.

Five's pretty soft when he's regressed. Not shy or sensitive, just like... subdued almost. Calmer. It's a good match for Viktor, who probably would have a hard time handling someone more rowdy. He doesn't seem like the chasing-the-child-around type, more a gentle guiding hand.

Five likes to be helpful, and that usually translates to helping Viktor cook or tidy. Viktor used to be hesitant to let him help because he wanted Five's time being small to be relaxing, but eventually he figured out that spending quiet time together doing little tasks was relaxing for Five. It was the quality time he had been missing for years.

I don't see either of them as huge cuddlers, however there would be lots of small displays of physical affection, like Viktor rubbing Five's arm or brushing his hair with his fingers, or Five sitting a little closer than strictly necessary.

The exception to this would be post-nightmare or panic attack where Five would sit in Viktor's lap with his arms and legs wrapped around him, and they'll just sit like that until Five's grounded enough to either fall asleep or come back around.

Five is well-behaved 99% of the time, but he's also a little kid with the logical thought process of a savant, so he knows exactly how to be a little shit and get away with it. He is very well aware he can get anything from Viktor with a please or a slightly sad look, he just chooses not to (unless it's to get a few extra treats here and there, or a slightly unhealthy PB&Marshmallow sandwich for lunch).

Viktor knows he's weak, sue him.

The rare chance they're able to go, the library is a good place for a day out. Five gets to pick out some new books, and they both get a public place that's quiet where everyone's minding their business.

Viktor frequently has to remind Five not to teleport because he has less control of the destination while regressed and it's such a habit for him that he'll just jump without thinking.

Little Five's not used to walking so much, his legs hurt :(

No he will not accept the offer of a piggyback, he's too good for that, thank you.

[mywritingonlyfans]

heyy back in the time when there were still dms on wattpad, I requested a bella and alex fic. It was about y/n taking care of bella when alex had to leave for tour. Bella was missing him really bad one night and y/n decided to facetime alex. You answered it was cute idea and you'd write it. Are you still up to it?

I'm glad you forwarded it here ❤️

It's not necessary to read my other fics to enjoy this one, but Bella is Alex's daughter (he's a single dad) in a later fic of mine, which you can check out here: link.

...

The first few weeks were peaceful, and Bella liked you. Every now and then, she mentioned missing her dad, so you’d tell her a story or ask her to send him a voice message. He’d always reply enthusiastically, meeting her expectations. Alex was a wonderful father, something you could never stop praising him for—it made you love him even more, seeing how attentive he was. You all had frequent video calls, always long, full of conversation and smiles, but it was starting to not feel like enough.

"He’s about to answer, Bella. What do you want to tell him?" Her eyes were red, her face buried in your shirt. You missed him too, a feeling you tried to hide while wearing his Stone Roses t-shirt. The familiar scent was comforting, and with her nose tucked into your shoulder, Bella seemed to share the same comfort. "I don’t know, mum." It wasn’t usual, but it did happen sometimes. A voice in your head reminded you that you weren’t her mother, but hearing her call you that, with the same accent as Alex, filled your heart with warmth. You loved her so much, and knowing that Alex didn’t mind her calling you ‘mum’ made you feel more connected to the bond they shared. "I really don’t know..." she repeated, her voice laced with tears. The time indicated he was probably finishing up a show, so you sent him a quick message and informed Kate that Bella was eager to see him. It was late at night for both of you, and Bella was refusing to sleep, clearly restless. "I misspoke, my love. It’s okay if you just want to see him. I want to see him too." You hugged her tighter. You only wanted to ease her anxiety about the wait, not make her more anxious by thinking she had to come up with something to say. It was perfectly fine to just want to see her dad’s face before a long day at school and some playing. She had taken over Alex's spot in the bed while he was on tour. Having your best friend by your side during this time was also good for you; she kept your mind off Alex not being there.

You gave a small smile to the camera on your phone, and Bella peeked over slightly as Alex finally appeared on the screen, wearing his usual post-show dad outfit. He was sweaty, his hair sticking to his forehead, and already without his blazer, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows. If you were there, you would’ve rolled up those sleeves for him, and he would’ve watched you with that familiar breathless smile. Bella would’ve jumped into his arms, the proudest daughter in the world, and Alex wouldn’t have been able to stop smiling.

But right now, in this exact moment, Alex looked concerned, and you felt bad for not letting Bella speak first, afraid that Alex might panic seeing her so down without an urgent reason. "Everything’s okay, love. How was the show? Al, we just really wanted to see you before going to sleep." You brushed Bella’s hair away from her forehead, revealing her tired face on your chest. Both of you were ready to fall asleep, bodies settled in the sheets, ready to never leave again. Alex’s sigh of relief was immediate. He had cute bags under his eyes, and you knew he was also struggling with the distance. Bella nodded, agreeing with what you had said.

"It was good, really loud. The usual stuff. We sang your song, Bella. Aunt Kate managed to record it, I'll ask her to send it to you both." He sounded excited, trying to make Bella smile. "You really did?" She raised her eyebrows, and Alex nodded eagerly. "You can hear the crowd singing along—they love your song." She hugged you, looking from you to the camera as if she couldn't believe it. It was so adorable. "It's okay if they like it, but Suck It and See is my song." You laughed, and Alex joined in. "It's all yours, darling."

You watched them talk, noticing the sparkle in his eyes and how verbally affectionate he was with her since he couldn’t be there physically. Alex was much more of a physical touch person, both with you and with Bella. The effort he made to compensate for that when he was away was obvious, and you appreciated it so much. They continued chatting about school, with Bella mentioning how you had helped her with homework, saying you were smart and patient with her, and also talking about how she had played with other kids at the park. You chuckled; she hadn't been as vocal as usual that day, but she was making it sound so natural, at least with Alex.

He kept talking in his gentle, slow manner, carefully enunciating each word. She loved the attention he gave her; you couldn't imagine how much she missed having him in her daily life when he wasn’t there. For example, every morning you would wake up to the sound of them brushing their teeth together, with her telling him about some dream she had. He did the same with her, but with you, it was different—not that you wanted it to be the same. You had a good relationship with her, but you wished you knew how to make this difficult time easier for her in a better way.

"And how’re you doin’, pretty one?" he asked, his voice more drawn out when he spoke to you. He made the sound drag, prolonging the prit-ee longer than necessary, yet still failing to bring a smile to your face. You couldn’t muster the energy to hide how much you missed him being right there in front of you.

You held your breath, watching him through the screen. He looked exhausted, like he could reach out and touch you, and Bella’s face resting on your shoulder as she slept if he tried hard enough.

"She couldn’t sleep, huh?—It used to happen with my mum too, though she seemed happier being with you." This time, you laughed. It seemed to lighten his mood a bit. "Are you tired? How’s it been?" He was taking on the role of the more talkative one in the relationship. You were afraid that if you said too much, you’d end up crying.

"She’s a sweetheart. She doesn’t give me any trouble; I like having her around." He nodded, biting his lips. His eyes were on you, quietly, and the atmosphere felt warm.

"I’ll stay ‘ere until you fall asleep, alright?"

"Alex, you’re tired. You don’t have to." He didn’t say anything, making it clear that arguing would be pointless, and to be honest, you wanted him to stay with you longer. "Don’t be strong for me, lil' one." He said softly. You laughed painfully, your eyes welling up.

"I hate this," he laughed too, in that same low tone. "I hate it too," you pulled up your shirt to dry your eyes. The shirt in question was starting to lose his scent. "I’ll be back soon, to spend a few days with you both before I leave again, I promise."

You shook your head, "I understand, Alex, Bella understands too. We just can’t help missing you; you’re not doing anything wrong." It was comforting for Alex that you could voice what he felt guilty about; he knew deep down he was being unfair to himself.

"Even so, I really need to see you both, to recharge my energy." You nodded, feeling better after talking with him. You didn’t realize how much you needed this moment, even though you didn’t know you needed it. This quiet conversation without Bella, where you could cry and be vulnerable with him. It wasn’t that you minded if she saw, but you tried to avoid making her feel worse.

"Are you drinking enough water, Al? Don’t have too much beer after the show." You said after a while, and he bit his lips to suppress a smile, showing you a bottle of water. "I’m not going to stop listenin’ to you just ‘cause you’re not ‘ere." Alex continued talking about more band stuff, the days of shows, until you slowly drifted off to sleep, unable to stay awake any longer, depriving yourself of having more minutes with him.

But the next day would be better.

[cantsayidont]

I'm really uncomfortable with the way MY ADVENTURES WITH SUPERMAN is treating Amanda Waller. I was already unhappy with how the character was treated in the live-action SUICIDE SQUAD movies, but it's like each new adaptation doubles down on the worst aspects, and once they decide Waller is an explicit *villain* rather than an antihero, they really unsheath the misogynoir.

Amanda Waller is probably John Ostrander's most important contribution to DC lore, and the way he handles her in the original SUICIDE SQUAD series is very interesting: It's always conscious of where she's come from and why she's ended up the way she has without excusing the ways she sometimes goes way too far (and even she sometimes realizes she's gone way too far). What drives Waller is not that she's a ruthless Machiavellian schemer, it's that her background (which the adaptations usually discard) makes her pessimistic about the idea that people can change.

Waller's attitude is that if you have a self-destructive obsessive (e.g., Bronze Tiger), a suicidal ticking time bomb (e.g., Rick Flag or Floyd Lawton), a traumatized idealist (e.g., Mari McCabe or Eve Eden), or a monstrous overgrown child (e.g., Captain Boomerang or the SS version of Poison Ivy), you aren't going to be able to fix them, and there are limits to how much you can even talk them down, so the best you can do is maneuver them so their inevitable destructive outbursts might accomplish something useful. Waller is not a xenophobic asshole like post-Crisis Lex Luthor, nor is she a patriotic zealot; in the Ostrander stories, she's as much social worker as strategist, with all that implies, both good and bad. She's a morally complex and interesting character who is frequently treated in troubling ways by people other than her creator, often just because she's a fat middle-aged Black woman.

[ennwen]

"Fake Service Dog" videos

I'm gonna be blunt here: they suck

I see so many "fake service animal compilation" videos on YouTube and I've watched maybe one or two of them, and I want to say:

THEY ARE HARMFUL TO THE SERVICE DOG COMMUNITY

Yes, I do understand that they spread awareness of how big the problem is, but I see them so abundantly and frequently, and what I've seen some of them don't even warrant be filmed or at least posted ONLINE because some dogs aren't causing a large problem.

Ninety-Nine to 100% of these videos are posted without consent. While having a fake service dog is a crime, so is filming and sharing a video of someone without consent. A crime does not fix a crime (usually).

I'm not saying that it isn't ever okay to film something like this, because I completely understand needing proof, but in my opinion, these videos need to stay between the service dog handlers, the people who care for them, and store managers at least 80% of the time.

Too many people do bring untrained pets into stores and it's ridiculous seeing people not being able to control a reactive dog and not doing anything to correct them. It's stupid, and it makes it hard for Service Dogs and SDiT's to stay focused. It's enraging sometimes with how much shit we already have to deal with.

But taking the effort to film a pet in the store and posting it online for thousands of millions of people to see could put you and whoever you're filming in danger. Not only this, but when people with Service Dogs start to yell and make a big deal about it, it makes the situation stressful for everyone in the mix, probably usually including the handlers filming. It also creates bad representation for the community imo, and it's the reason some people call us "Karen's". Telling someone that they shouldn't bring their fake service dogs into the store is one thing, but yelling it after them over and over does nothing but attract attention to the real SD handler and the dog. There's also the fact that Most of these people already know what they are doing, and doing these things are virtually useless unless you can talk about the situation to a manager or the authorities. Most of the videos don't teach anything, and a compilation of these out of control dogs make the public even more skeptical about service animals.

Not only this, but they can also make Service Dog and SDiT handlers more nervous about going into public. What happens if your SD pukes or has diarrhea out of the blue (shit literally happens) and someone films and posts it online? What happens if your SDiT sees something scary they haven't before and reacts differently than you've trained them to and it becomes a viral sensation? There's no way of telling what situation an animal is in either. The person you could be filming may be homeless and not have a way of keeping their pet at home. They might be a older looking child/teen who doesn't know the laws on SD's.

Almost every other type of video is absolutely fine to post online and I wish I would see more of them. Public access issues where someone is being denied service, videos where the handler is showcasing/talking about tasks or showing how they've been trained, videos showing/saying that service dogs are still dogs and make mistakes are my favorite type of video because they inform instead of cause more drama within the community.

I'm not saying all of these videos are harmful, but a majority of them don't need to be posted online. It makes me uncomfortable.

Anyways I guess this was kinda just a vent. Thanks for reading if you read all the way to the end and don't be afraid to let me know what you think about them or if you have a different opinion in a respectful way!

[irondad-defensesquad]

I love you (you don't have to say it back, though)

Also posted on AO3!

My last work this year. Happy New Year to those who celebrate it! Still hope you have a great day today :)

--

Tony was usually not allowed to go to his father’s workshop. When he was very small, he was able to sneak inside, but the more he grew up, the less frequent it became. Not with Howard becoming increasingly angrier at him.

By the time Tony went to boarding school, he knew better than to bother Howard.

Except, occasionally, his father would take him to the workshop without saying much. He just expected Tony to follow him without protest.

But don’t be mistaken. Tony couldn’t tell Howard about school or his day overall. He couldn’t ask for help with his homework (after all, Tony was supposed to be smart on his own). Their time was strictly professional, not some father and son bonding.

The boy had to be stiff and silent like a rock the entire time, unless Howard asked him to build something while bearing a judgmental glare, already expecting Tony to fail. Either the man would say nothing, or he would straight up say Tony was doing it completely wrong. Regardless, that always meant their lab time was over and Tony would be kicked out of the workshop.

Nowadays, Tony had his own workshop where he allowed anyone to come in, bots or not. Someone in particular has been coming here a lot more.

It’s so different from the past. Tony and Peter are not even working on the latter’s suit anymore. They’ve abandoned their tools and Peter’s homework has been put to a stop. What for?

Peter has been ranting about Star Wars and how unfair it is the way people have been treating some of the new characters from the most recent trilogy.

Arguably, Tony has only seen the original trilogy years ago, but he was never a fanboy. He might not understand everything to the lore, but he’s not at all bored or annoyed by Peter’s long ramble. He’s listening all the way through, never looking away.

Peter seems to have not noticed Tony staring at him with all the attention in the world, because suddenly… The kid gradually quiets down and stops talking, his cheeks turning red in embarrassment.

“... what?” Tony asks, confused. “Why did you stop?”

“Do you think I’m annoying?”

Tony sits closer to him. “No, of course not.”

“Why? I talk too much and- gosh, I’ve been ranting for half an hour about Star Wars…”

“Hey, I don’t mind.”

“But it’s so stupid, Mr. Stark.”

“Kid, it’s not stupid. It matters to you. Besides, you could talk about literally anything and I would listen all the way through.”

“Why?” Peter doesn’t believe him. “Are you just saying that to be nice?”

It hurts Tony hearing the kid’s insecurity.

He squeezes one of Peter’s shoulders.

“Oh, kid… I mean what I say. I like listening to you. I…”

… that word.

Love.

Is he going to say it?

“... I like having you here.”

Ah, dang it.

Still, the light in Peter’s puppy eyes returns. They look like the clean starry sky they can see from upstate. It does sting Tony’s heart how surprised Peter is to hear those words. He feels regret for not letting the kid know how much he likes his company. Tony will make sure to correct that from now on.

He pulls the kid in a half hug, squeezing him. Peter is very stiff at first, but he eventually relaxes and lies against Tony’s shoulder like a cat. If Tony isn’t seeing things, the teen is probably about to cry.

After this, they go back to work. Peter asks for help and Tony guides him. When the kid solves it, Tony praises him.

Then, the two leave the workshop together to eat ice cream and watch a dumb sitcom.

Tony eventually notices Peter has been staring at him with the same stars in his eyes.

But not in a mere fanboyish way.

After that, Peter lies against Tony again.

“I like being here, too,” he says simply.

It shouldn’t be surprising, right?

Still, Tony’s eyes blur.

Nothing rolls down, but truly, he’s not made of iron.

And that’s more than okay.

Tony smiles and lies his head on top of Peter’s, wrapping an arm around the kid.

Maybe he didn’t say what he meant just yet… but maybe Peter knows it.

Still, Tony will say it. He promises that.

[loki-zen]

and like I've never really gotten into the organisations (at least at the level of idk Facebook groups) that I assume must exist to bring together us non-stereotypical riders, because I've never been one to join groups specifically of/for Women if it can possibly be helped.

(also I was tagging this post and Tumblr suggested "#biker girl" and that's another reason I guess - the language is, uh, not to my taste often. "Biker girl", "Lady riders" it's like. in this context i'm okay being rounded off to a 'woman', i have material interests and relevant traits in common with that category with respect to being more likely to encounter certain attitudes and barriers in terms of assumptions about the physical traits of the "average biker" that do not apply to us.

I personally have a very 'feminine' frame (short, small hands, low centre of gravity, strength concentrated in the lower body) and that's extremely relevant to choice of motorbike, such that it's practically the only purchase where I find it useful for people to tell me that x is very popular with women or my girlfriend likes it and so on.

This can also often be a barrier to the hobby - riding schools tend to get in high-seated, top-heavy street racer style bikes because they're cheap and easy to repair, which put short people with less upper body strength at a huge disadvantage and may in some cases* be simply unsafe for them to ride. If a woman who is new to the hobby doesn't know about this (and she's new; how would she?) and her riding school decides not to admit that her struggling is their fault (because then they might be asked why the fuck they took her money without checking they had anything suitable for her to ride), they send her away feeling like she can't do it and it doesn't feel good to her anyway, and if I had to guess, this is probably a huge reason for both the continued rarity of women bikers and their (apparent) tendency to be people introduced to the hobby via a close personal connection like a father or a boyfriend.

The shape of me means I'm also subject to the relative paucity, expense and stereotypical stylings of clothes for "lady bikers" - I can't just shop in the menswear section as it's very important that protective clothing fit correctly, or else the armour won't rest over what it needs to protect.)

*if the seat height is too high relative to the rider's leg length, they won't be able to find stable purchase on the ground when supporting the bike while stopped or nearly-stopped. That's dangerous, and massively increases the risk of the bike tipping over sideways when stopping or setting off.

Incidentally,

A ) it's frequently possible to have a motorbike seat lowered (within certain limits imposed by the frame) - I'm taking my full test on a bike with the usual street-sporty stylings riding schools go in for, but with a lowered seat.

B ) many styles of motorbike - anything in the cruiser/bobber/tourer styleset, and a lot of classics (for the uninitiated: imagine kinds of motorbike where you don't lean forward while you're riding them) - come as standard with seat heights lower than the lowest most street bikes can be adjusted down to. Everyone rides them like that, whatever their height, so they would work for learners of almost any height.(some very tall people don't prefer them - but, as I understand it, this is more of a comfort thing and less of an inarguable safety problem than the reverse situation) Bobbers/tourers/classics are also easier to keep upright for everyone (when stopped, this is more relevant for those with less upper body strength, but side winds don't discriminate!), and the more upright riding posture allows for better use of the mirrors and a fuller view of the road ahead.

...and yet, riding schools (even the one I use now, which is, relatively speaking, extremely good for women riders!) seem to universally go for the street racer style bikes, rather than (as would have made intuitive sense to me) having a variety on hand to accommodate different bodies and preferences.

I have to assume the reason is economic - certainly the cheapest 125 made by all the major retailers right now seems to be a street racer style bike.

(However - so much of the cost of riding a 125 as a learner is the insurance, and I gather it's a big expense for the schools as well. Given the objective benefits discussed above, it's surprising to me that there's not a big insurance differential that might incentivise the use of more stable bikes that give learners a better view of the road.)

[solitaireships]

Rest Your Head

So I had this fic mostly written for Clorinde for a long time, and then was under the impression that for some reason I had finished it and just hadn't posted it bcs I was never having the right energy for that. It turns out I did not actually finish it, so I finished it now and present it to you! I get pretty bad headaches a lot so I like thinking about my f/os helping to relax with that

Rating: Gen

Genre: Fluff, hurt/comfort kind of

Words: 1035 words

Divider by saradika

Headaches seem to be the ever present bane of Andromeda’s existence. While she might not have them daily, they’re frequent enough to be a constant nuisance. Tonight she finds herself stuck at home from her headache, the lights as dim as possible but still managing to bother her head. She’s been lying in bed for the past hour now, only half conscious as she tries to rest her eyes. It’s a harder task than it should be with her racing thoughts, which only seem to make the throbbing of her head worse. 

The sharp sound of knocking on the door is enough to draw a pained groan from Andromeda as her head pounds to the rhythm of the noise. She forces herself out of bed, making her way to the front door. She should have closed her bedroom door— if she did it would’ve been easier to ignore whoever is at the apartment’s front door. 

Though as she opens the door, she regrets getting up less. 

“Oh, Clorinde,” Andromeda says, doing her best to sound unaffected by her headache. “Hi.”

“You didn’t make it to our dinner, so I was worried,” Clorinde says. She looks past Andromeda into the apartment, noting the dim lights. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” 

She says it as a reflex. Andromeda hates admitting when she isn’t fine, even in moments like these. But she reminds herself that Clorinde deserves better than her hiding things, especially when she just bailed on her for a date. She can’t believe that she forgot about it— normally she would have remembered and taken a painkiller to power through. 

“Sorry, I— I have a pretty bad headache right now. Our date must have slipped my mind, we can try to reschedule if that’s okay,” Andromeda says. 

“It’s alright, we can try again tomorrow,” Clorinde says. “May I come in?”

“I don’t know how good company I’ll be right now.”

“We don’t have to talk if you’re not up to it.” Clorinde steps into the apartment, taking her shoes off as Andromeda closes the door behind her. “Would rest help?”

“Yeah, that’s what I was doing before. I know it’s not the most interesting way to spend your time, though.”

“We don’t always have to do interesting things together. I’d be glad to do anything as long as it’s with you,” Clorinde says. 

“Oh,” is all Andromeda can manage in response to that. She and Clorinde have been together for a while now, but it’s rare for either of them to give such gentle, direct affections like that. If she weren’t in the middle of fighting off a headache, she might have been able to come up with something more appropriately affection in return, but instead she just manages to say, “Okay.”

“Go to bed,” Clorinde suggests. “I’ll join you in a minute, I just should take off some of these layers first.”

“You don’t need to rush,” Andromeda says.

“I won’t,” she replies.

Andromeda only barely manages to make it to her room without stumbling, turning off the lights completely and collapsing into bed. Were she in a clearer state of mind, she might have felt worse about their date night turning into staying in, but instead all she can think of is enjoying the silence and surrounding darkness. She settles under her blankets, eyes closing as she tries to relax and soothe her headache.

It doesn’t take long for Clorinde to make her way into the bedroom. She’s taken off her hat and cape, stripping down to her button up shirt and skirt without anything else over top of them. Even as out of it as she is, Andromeda can appreciate how she looks dressed down, more relaxed than usual.

“Are you awake?” Clorinde asks, voice low so as not to wake Andromeda if she was asleep.

“You know I don’t go to sleep that quickly,” she replies in a whisper. “Maybe if my headache gets better we can go out a little later?”

“Only if you’re feeling up to it,” Clorinde replies as she settles into bed. She guides Andromeda closer to her, letting her rest her head on her chest. “For now, just get some rest. Anything else can come later.”

“Alright,” Andromeda says. “Thank you, and I’m sorry again.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. A rest will be good for both of us,” Clorinde promises. 

And it’s easier for Andromeda to sleep with her saying that. She relaxes against Clorinde, eyes closing as sleep beckons to her far faster than it usually does. Consciousness comes and goes as she fights a battle she knows she cannot win against her headache, but it’s a comfort to know she’s riding this out with her girlfriend. 

Andromeda wakes up only half aware that she had fallen asleep. Peering at the clock on the other side of the room shows she must have been asleep for an hour by now though. It’s unlike her, she’s never been someone who naps often. Usually it’s only when she’s sick. But she supposes her headache counts as being sick. 

At least she’s feeling better now. She still has a faint headache, but it’s less unbearable. She’s sure if she had to, she could go about her life like normal without too much issue. 

Not that she would want to right now. She wakes up with her head resting against Clorinde’s chest, one arm draped across her middle. She must have fallen asleep too, eyes closed and mouth slightly open, one hand resting on Andromeda’s back. 

She looks peaceful when she sleeps. Clorinde is a hard worker, and someone who’s always more focused on her duties as a Champion Duelist. It’s good to see her getting some rest for once, and Andromeda can’t bring herself to disturb her. 

So she presses a quick kiss to Clorinde’s shoulder before cuddling up against her, eyes closed. Maybe she’ll wake up in a moment and they can do some more typical date activities, maybe she’ll stay asleep and the two of them will talk in the morning. But for now, Andromeda is glad for this moment, and for the comfort of Clorinde at her side as she rests her head.

[active-mind-15]

As I am lying down on the verge of falling asleep I have decided to post some Akashi sleep headcanons

Now, I have seen many people speculate what Akashi looks like when he sleeps/wakes up or what his sleep habits are, so I thought I'd get a quick one out of the way before going to bed. Let's go!

Even though he's very prim and proper because of his upbringing, I don't think that reflect in how he sleeps.

Not to say he's a messy sleeper per se, but he's definitely not a scarily neat sleeper where he lies still on his back firmly tucked in and doesn't move.

He seems like a side-sleeper who curls in on himself, kinda like a cat. He's normally not vulnerable when he's awake, but when he's asleep, vulnerable is the only word I can imagine when I think about how he looks. There's a particular innocence to his sleeping form. He only sleeps when his guard is down, and he doesn't have to worry about what he looks like.

Very few people have seen him sleep. I know Kuroko is canonically one of them because in that trip to Hawaii from the Replace Plus novels, Kuroko shared a hotel room with him, but I'm wondering who else might have seen him sleep aside from maybe Mibuchi and Nijimura. God knows.

Something that the fandom can agree on is that Akashi's bedhead is probably terrible, though. Especially since he and Kuroko have such similar hairstyles, it wouldn't surprise me that their hair gets messed up in the same way while sleeping. He usually takes care of it before he actually leaves his room (again, he likes maintaining an image in front of others), so just like very few people have seen him sleep, very few have seen his bedhead. Those who have seen it found it so cute.

I wouldn't peg him as a sleep talker, but I don't think he'd be entirely quiet either. If he's having a dream, I'd like to think he'd make little noises, but nothing super loud. In fact, they're so quiet that you almost might not catch it if you happen to be awake.

He doesn't move around a lot either when he sleeps, but he doesn't stay in the same position throughout the night. He only gets really fidgety if he has nightmares.

Speaking of that, I think that since Akashi is so busy, is frequently stressed, and is probably always exhausted, there will be random periods where he'll get frequent nightmares and sometimes sleep paralysis. During those times, he'll be more irritable during the day due to lack of sleep. (Can you tell I'm projecting with my own personal experiences in high school?)

He's tried to find ways to combat this over the years. Tea helps, music helps, and post-Winter Cup, being open with his friends about what's troubling him helps. Through doing all these things, he's able to sleep better and for longer.

(^^Secret 4th remedy, touch helps. The only person who knows this is Mibuchi because when they travel for games and share a hotel room, he's usually with Akashi. Post-Winter Cup, there were nights when Mibuchi heard Akashi make these sad little noises in his sleep, and Mibuchi felt so bad just sitting there and listening without doing anything, so he kinda just walked over to Akashi's bed and softly stroked his hair, just to see if that would do anything?? And it did! Gradually, Akashi quieted down and stopped fidgeting. And Mibuchi went back to sleep. But he told Akashi nothing about those events that transpired.)

And even though he's an early-riser, it's not by choice. He just has so much to do during the day that he can't help but wake up at like 6 or 7am. But if he has nothing to do the next day, he'd rather sleep in til 9 or 10am.

He's also a slow starter. That's why he gives himself so much time in the morning to wake up. It normally takes him a veeeery hot minute to get out of bed because he's constantly having to play catch-up with sleep since he's always busy.

I would bet he's a blanket hogger. He seems like the type to get cold easily, so when it's time for him to sleep, he just switches to Maximum Coze Mode™ and snuggles under the blankets. On a cold day, it's especially hard to get him out of the blankets.

Lastly, if he ever gets tired and falls asleep in school or something like in the gymnasium, he'll have his arms crossed while he nods off. Since it's so rare that Akashi sleeps, though, Kise tells everyone not to bother him. Eventually, it's Nijimura who discovers him and covers Akashi with his jacket.