#and I’m withdrawing from anyone that could help me

[blackenedsnow]

Hello! I love your writing and I hope you're having a good day/night! Could you do Sonic dating someone with social anxiety and is also an introvert? I struggle with social anxiety myself and have a hard time speaking up sometimes, especially with new people. Sonic is a comfort character of mine that I'd think would do his best to help their anxious partner in situations where they're overwhelmed. Take your time write this! No pressure at all!❤️

sonic dating a reader with anxiety ; headcanons

WARNING: Anxiety

PAIRING: Sonic the Hedgehog x Reader

NOTE: Thank you so much for trusting me with this request! I poured a lot into Sonic’s support here. Remember, there’s no pressure to be anything other than yourself here. Take care, and know you’re never alone in this! ❤️

Sonic had always been able to talk to anyone without a second thought, so it took him a little while to fully grasp the extent of your social anxiety.

At first, he’d notice that you’d freeze up or look uncomfortable when around new people, or that you’d stay in the background at gatherings.

But once he understood, it clicked for him in a big way.

The idea of his favorite person being scared or overwhelmed really tugged at his heart, and he made a silent promise to help in every way he could.

Whether it’s a small gathering with his friends or a larger event, Sonic keeps you close, always aware of your comfort level.

If he sees you start to withdraw or tense up, he’ll step in smoothly.

Sometimes it’s with a joke to defuse the situation, sometimes with a quick distraction, or just a comforting hand on your shoulder as if to say, “I’ve got you. You’re not alone.”

Sonic is very perceptive of when things start to become too much for you.

If you’re at a crowded place and he notices you’re feeling uneasy, he’ll lean in with a gentle,

“Wanna go somewhere quieter?”

If you nod, he’ll flash you a reassuring smile, and in an instant, he’ll whisk you away to a quieter corner or outside where you can catch your breath.

He’s never pushy, always giving you the option to leave if that’s what you need.

Sonic has a knack for knowing when to use his lighthearted, playful approach to help lift the weight off your shoulders.

Sonic quickly picked up on the times when speaking up felt impossible for you.

If you’re at a restaurant and struggling to order or around others who are dominating the conversation, he’ll step in for you without missing a beat.

“Hey, can we get a little more space here?” or “Mind if we let my amazing partner share their thoughts?”

His casual way of giving you room to express yourself makes things a bit easier, knowing he’s on your side.

Sonic’s always hyper-aware in crowded spaces.

He’s like a human (or, well, hedgehog) shield, positioning himself so you’re buffered from the hustle and bustle.

He’ll keep you close, sometimes holding your hand tightly, or if you’re really nervous, he’ll even wrap his arm around you protectively.

Sonic’s not usually one for PDA, but he’ll make an exception to help you feel safe and grounded.

Sonic celebrates your small victories, knowing how much courage it takes.

Whether it’s speaking up in a group, meeting a new friend, or even just making it through a social outing, he’ll always be there with a proud smile, a high-five, or a quick

“You did awesome, I’m so proud of you!”

It’s never over-the-top or embarrassing—just Sonic’s way of reminding you that every step counts.

Sonic knows that sometimes, you just need to be alone to recharge.

He doesn’t take it personally; in fact, he admires how self-aware you are about your own needs.

If you let him know you need a day to yourself, he’ll give you space without hesitation.

But of course, he’ll check in with a quick text like,

“Hope you’re doing okay! Take all the time you need. Catch you soon, alright?” so you know he’s thinking of you.

When Sonic senses your anxiety building up, he’ll subtly try to get you laughing, often with something silly just to lighten the mood.

He’s not afraid to make a fool of himself if it means you’ll feel a little less tense.

Sonic doesn’t shy away from asking if you’re okay when he notices you’ve been unusually quiet or down.

His usual upbeat tone softens a bit as he gently checks in,

“You seem a little off—wanna talk about it?”

He’s a great listener, and even if you find it hard to talk about your feelings, he’ll give you all the time you need, never rushing or judging.

Even though Sonic will step in when you need it, he also encourages you to find ways to work through your social anxiety at your own pace.

He’ll suggest small steps, always patient and gentle, understanding that it takes time.

“Wanna try saying hi to Knuckles on your own today?” he’ll ask with an encouraging grin.

He’s proud of every little step you take.

Above all, Sonic’s love for you is constant, patient, and kind.

He never makes you feel ashamed or like you’re a burden.

He sees your social anxiety as a part of you, not something that defines you.

To him, you’re amazing just as you are, and he’s always there, ready to support you no matter what.

[doctor-wombat]

.

[kentopedia]

nanami kento, who hates dating, and didn’t do much of it in his early twenties. but now, he’s almost thirty, watching all the people he works with settle down, have kids, and he thinks he wants that. so he might as well try.

so satoru sets him up on a few dates — friends of friends, he calls them. and at the end of every one of the dinners, kento goes home empty, exhausted, because he knows what they want is not the same.

still; he thinks maybe he’s being a little self-destructive, maybe too picky, maybe he just got so used to being alone. with satoru’s insistence, he gives all the women another call, invites them over to his apartment.

the first time was a disaster… kento had barely set the dinner on the table before his cat had hissed at her, scratched her down the arm in a thin gash. and though it did draw blood, it was hardly enough to warrant that reaction.

he didn’t even try to stop her as she picked up her bag and left, huffing like she’d been morally offend. kento, though, could only smile to himself in amusement.

because maybe kento was a poor judge of character, a man who was secretly hoping nothing would pan out — but his cat could certainly tell the good from the bad.

it became a little game to him, after that. seeing if anyone could win his pet over, and if they could, perhaps they were the one. his darling animal was a fickle thing anyway. a bit too defensive, quick to bite anything threatening after years on the streets.

naturally, no one came back twice.

he was close to giving up, accepting his solitude because he was tired of empty conversations over dinner. but then, he ventured out over the weekend to a new coffee shop, during hours he normally didn’t spend out of his home, and met you.

though you only talked for a moment, kento felt like maybe he’d known you in a past life. a part of him thought maybe it was strange, the way he kept coming back to talk to you, catching you at the end of your shift to see if you wanted to grab a coffee sometime.

by the second date, kento started to think you could turn out to be his best friend.

by the third date, kento wondered if soulmates were real.

on the fourth date, almost two months later, an appropriate time to get to know someone when you were as reserved as kento, he invited you over for dinner. it was, perhaps, the final confirmation he needed to let himself be with you.

he let you through the door, smiling softly as you told him about the book you were reading, and hung his coat on the rack. a moment later, you stopped, distracted, hands covering your mouth in a gasp.

“kento! she’s the cutest cat i’ve ever seen, you didn’t even show me pictures!” you exclaim, and, a few feet away, crouched down. “look at her pretty eyes…”

“careful,” kento said, “she’s not very—“

but the cat approached your outstretched hand, sniffed once, before letting you scratch her under her chin, purring loud enough for kento to hear across the room.

“shes such a sweetheart, you told me she was mean!” you smiled, making a cooing noise as you threaded your fingers through her fur. “kento’s a liar, isn’t he… you’re so precious.”

a few moments later, she snapped her jaw at you in a biting motion, and you only laughed, withdrawing your hand. “alright, i get it, i won’t bother you anymore.”

though she still brushed against your legs, just as she did kento’s, and seemed to communicate some sort of message to him.

“do you want any help cooking?” you ask, tucking your hair behind your ears. “i’m a disaster in the kitchen, but—“

“sure,” kento said, his chest tightening as he blinked back at you, only in his apartment for minutes and already looking as at home there. he wondered if it was possible to fall in love so quickly. “but only if you want to.”

[sweet-as-an-angel]

OMG HII I'M A NEW FOLLOWER AND I LOVE YOUR WORK!! May I please ask for HCs or a one shot of Ghost with his s/o being self conscious/ashamed (YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN LOL) about squirting so much that he AND the bed got soaked?? THANK YOU SO MUCH MANY KISSIES MUAH 💋💖

Ghost & König w/ an S/O who is Self Conscious about Squirting a Lot

Warnings: 18+, Sexual Content, Heavy Implications of Smut, Squirting, Insecurity, Embarrassment, Dom Ghost, Dom König, Unprotected Sex, Profanity, etc.

Ghost:

First time it happened, Ghost couldn’t quite believe his eyes.

He just stared down at where his hand connected with your cunt, your cum spattered across his arm, reaching all the way up to his elbow.

The sheets below you were covered, too, a heavy downpour of your juices coating them, soaking them.

“Fuckin’ Hell,” Ghost rasped, licking his lips.

You lay wide-eyed and stationery beneath him, chest heaving with the coat tails of your orgasm.

You’d never done that before.

And the fact that Ghost only looked upon you with a heavy gaze did nothing to soothe your nerves - did nothing to reassure you that what had just happened was normal. Or appreciated.

Sweat-skinned and face flushed with embarrassment, you tried to withdraw, to cover yourself and hide from Ghost’s dark eyes.

They were unreadable. Void of anything discernable.

Before you could pull the soaked bed sheets over you, Simon’s hand tore it from yours.

“Oh no, Princess,” he said. The corners of his lips turned up, not a smile, but one of its off-colour variants, one that spelled devious.

“I’m not lettin’ you go until you’ve covered me.”

Your eyes almost popped out of your head, face burning. You tried to object.

“You…you don’t think it’s weird?” you said, testing. Receding. “I-I don’t think I can do it again–”

“Let me put it this way,” Ghost began. He pumped his fingers into you, four strong, making you squeal, sensitive from your orgasm. He began unbuckling his belt with his other hand.

“We’re not stopping ‘til you do.”

König:

König didn’t stop pummeling into you until you’d finished.

And, upon doing so, your orgasm tearing through you, you ended up spraying.

Hard.

König felt your warm cum shoot against his abdomen, coating him in a thin layer of you.

You noticed, but your mind was far too hazy with the after effects of your high to register it properly.

König finished inside you shortly after, unable to contain himself any longer.

He flooded you, painting your insides white, much how you’d painted him.

Minutes passed, your conjoined, deep breathing filling the silence.

Head somewhat clearer, giving way to distinguishable thoughts, you looked down at König.

He was, simply put, wet.

Not damp, not moist - wet.

And then, the memory hit you.

Your heart sank.

“König…?” you said, voice meek. You watched his chest and shoulders heave, with him bent over you like a bridge, eyes screwed shut.

You went to call his name again, but his lips on yours stopped you.

Between laboured breaths, he muttered dark words into your skin as if they were incantations.

“Why did you hide this from me?” he said, breathless.

You blinked, confused.

“Wha–”

“You thought you could keep this little trick of yours a secret from me.”

He said it as if it were true. The actual truth was that you’d never done that before; not with König, not with anyone.

“I should punish you,” he said, retracting only to roll his hips against yours.

You gasped, a shock of painful euphoria tightening inside you.

“I can make you do it again,” he said. There was no mercy in his eyes. No negotiation. 

“And I will.”

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously :-)

Masterlist Masterlist [Continued] Masterpost Modern Warfare AI Masterlist

AO3 Wattpad

[slutorubaby]

needy for gojo 💞

synopsis: you come back from a night out with the girls, drunk and needy for your boyfriend, gojo satoru

gojo satoru x reader smut! MDNI

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“baby? where are you?” gojo calls out from the foyer of your shared apartment. 

“in the bathroom! I’m getting ready to go out!” you say while holding a curling wand in your hair.

gojo pads over to the bathroom and is about to pull you into a bear hug when he stops to admire the view. “my baby really is the sexiest,” he coos while his gaze travels from head to toe, almost swallowing you up. you were dressed in a black corset paired with a tight mini skirt and silver accessories adorning your ears, neck and wrists. 

“thank you baby. just wait until you see the final look with the boots on,” you giggled while setting your hair into place with hairspray. 

tonight was the first time in a long while where all of your close girlfriends are going out together. It was decided that the night’s activities would include bar hopping and clubbing. 

sturdy arms circle your waist and his lips hover dangerously close to the part where your shoulder meets your neck. “can I leave a mark? to let everyone know that this pretty baby is all mine?” gojo says while leaving soft kisses along the side of your neck. 

you instantly melt into his touch. “satoru, don't worry. I’m literally wearing our promise ring on my ring finger,” you giggle. 

“no, I’m worried. men are gross,” he says once he breaks contact with your neck.

“then, just a small one please,” you say leaning back in his chest. after getting the okay, his lips leave a small pinkish mark on the side of your neck. “wish I could just keep you here all for myself tonight. promise me you’ll be safe and that you’ll call me immediately if anyone bothers you,” gojo says in between kisses on your cheek. you’ve always loved this protective side of him. it makes you feel so safe and treasured. 

“of course, thank you baby. be patient and wait until I get back, ‘kay? then you’ll get my undivided attention,” you teased while turning over to face him. you stand on your highest tip toes to give him a firm kiss on his lips. 

gojo drops you off in front of the first bar of the night where your three friends are waiting outside. he rolls down the window to remind you, “make sure to call me tonight, and you all stay safe, okay?” the girls unanimously agreed to his request and he drove off once he saw you in. 

the night was perfect. there was so much to catch up on about each of your lives. it was drink after drink and before you knew it, you were the drunkest you’ve ever been since your early college days. it was finally the last stop of the night and you all landed in a club where everyone danced their heart out. when it was finally time to leave, you were stumbling all around, eyes heavy from the influx of alcohol in your system, so your best friend unlocked your phone and called up gojo. 

“hey gojo? it’s me. she’s super wasted now, can you come pick her up? the others all left with their partners and I’m waiting with mine until we see her off,” she says. 

gojo shows up to the club in record time and is carrying you into the passenger seat. after a long exchange of “i love you”s between you and your best friend, gojo thanks them and drives you back to the apartment. in the car, you’re all giggles and babbling about the events of the night. when gojo opens up the door on your side to bring you up to the apartment, you grab his shoulders and pull him into a messy kiss that he does not protest. “missed my pretty boy s’much,” you say, smiling into the kiss before withdrawing. “missed you so much too,” he says as he picks you up to head inside. once inside the apartment, he sets you down on the couch. 

“are you okay, baby? need more water?” he says while helping you out of the jacket he put on you in the car. 

“no.. jus’ wanna shower with you, I feel gross,” you slurred while reaching your arms up for him to pick you up again. 

“okay, whatever you want, princess.” he says while his lips curve into a smile. gojo loved how clingy and needy you could get after a night out.

you are standing in front of the sink, holding onto the counter to keep balance as he removes your skirt and loosens up the laces in the back of your corset top. As he does that, a brilliant idea pops into your head. you decide to push back your bare ass to perfectly rest on his clothed cock, moving ever so slightly.

“are you teasing me, baby?” gojo says gripping your hips to keep you still.

“no… what do y’mean?” you say feigning innocence, knowing exactly what you’re doing. this makes him laugh as he turns you over and lifts you up on the sink. gojo bends down to remove your socks, revealing his undercut and nape.

You stare at his exposed nape before two hands are holding his head still as you lean over to give it a bite and kiss. 

“s’cute. I love it s’much” you say, giving it as many kisses as you can before gojo stands up. now that he’s upright and standing in front of you, your arms swing over his neck to pull him down so you can latch your lips along the column of his neck. 

“my girl is so needy tonight,” he says, leaning over the sink where you’re sitting and allowing you to mark up his neck to your heart's desire. 

“wan’ you, ‘toru.” you whine, now circling your legs around his waist as an attempt to pull him even closer. 

“let's get you cleaned up first and then we can continue,” gojo says softly, internally restraining himself.

“but you’re hard, can’t we jus’ do it now? really fast?” you whined, tears starting to fill your eyes because of your desperation. 

“no, we can’t. I wanna take my time with you tonight. I was patient waiting for you to come home, so be a good girl and do the same for me, ‘kay?” he says while guiding you into the shower. 

once inside the warm and steaming shower, your only goal was to get out of there as soon as possible. gojo, on the other hand, had different plans. the moment his hands were on your body, you could feel yourself melting into his touch. His movements were slow and sensual. He was lathering the bubbles across your body, pausing just a second longer on your erogenous zones, which included your nipples, thighs, and pussy. He loved watching you squirm under his touch with your eyes squeezed shut trying to savor the feeling. 

“you’re so mean ‘toru,” you say, biting your lower lip once his hands were off you. 

“just a little longer, pretty,” he says with a smirk across his lips.

once both of you were all cleaned up, he carried you out of the bathroom and you were flushed, not just from the bathroom warmth, but the excitement of what was to come.

“satoru, I feel better now, I can walk on my own,” you say, attempting to get to your feet but to no avail. he softly sets you down on the mattress. the two of you were scantily covered by a towel and before you knew it, gojo had removed it off both of your bodies in a second. 

his kisses travel down to your neck, nipples, navel and right before he gets down to your wet cunt, he looks up at you. your eyes were glazed over without a single thought behind them and your mouth slightly open, panting. that sight turns him on even more as he laps up your folds with his tongue. 

this causes your hips to buckle and start grinding on his tongue for more friction. he then sucks on your clit, causing you to almost see stars. right before you had a chance to cum, he gives your pussy one last kiss before pulling away, causing you your eyes to pop open from the lack of touch. 

“I waited all night for you, can I get my reward too, pretty?” gojo says with his legs spread open and resting on his shins, gripping the base of his cock. now that you had a proper look at him, you could see just how much he needed you. his face was flushed pink and his cock was rock hard, looking like it would burst at any second. you immediately get on your knees and wrap your hands around it, giving it a few strokes as he leans back and rests on the palms of his hands. 

still gripping his cock, you tease his tip with your tongue by swirling it in circles. this causes gojo to fling his head back and pant heavily. loving this reaction, you begin to slowly take more of him into your mouth, inch by inch. 

“just a little more,” he says with one hand on the nape of your neck to guide you down his length. you bob your head up and down, making sure to open up your throat to take all of him in. Tears push past your eyes because of how big he is but you love every single inch of it. you suck on him hard and tight like a vice, throat perfectly molding to the shape of his dick and tongue swirling against the underside of it. you continue this until you can feel him almost cumming and you go even faster. 

“b-baby, stop, ‘m gonna cum,” gojo says, his hands are now on either side of your head pushing you off his member. he was able to get you off right before he was sent over the edge. 

“so slutty tonight, trying to get me to cum before I’m in you,” he says, guiding you to your back. 

“jus’ wanna make you feel good, ‘toru,” you say, obediently laying down. 

“I wanna cum inside this pussy. can I, baby?” he says, looking directly into your eyes. he rubs his tip along your sopping folds before tapping it a few times against your clit, pleasure coursing up your body. 

“y-yes, it’s your pussy, you can do whatever,” you say, waiting for him to ravish you.

gojo presses his tip against your entrance and notices you get up on your elbows to watch it slide in. “does my pretty girl like watching it go in?” he teases. “yes, I want you to ruin me, ‘toru,” you say in between breaths.

he gives you a few shallow thrusts with just the tip until you couldn’t take it anymore and begin attempting to fuck yourself on his fat cock. he loves how quickly you get cock-drunk on him. using his hands to pin down your hips, he thrusts his member deep inside with no warning, causing you to roll your head back in pleasure. he begins thrusting at an ungodly speed, your head making contact with your headboard before he reaches up a hand to buffer the impact. 

“‘toru, wait, s-slow down” you yelp, hands pressed up against his abs, attempting to slow his movements. 

“I thought my princess wanted this?” gojo said, not letting up on his speed. he moves his hand from your hip and presses it firmly on your lower abdomen, causing you to moan uncontrollably as the tip of his cock abuses your g-spot. 

“i’m g-gonna cum,” you yell, breathing heavily.

“I’m close too, cum on this cock, pretty. it’s all yours,” he says, thrusting until you cum first. 

when you’re finally sent over the edge, you can feel your pussy convulsing around his dick, causing him to pour his load inside. he slowly removes his cock from your twitching cunt, a trail of thick cum oozes out. He uses his thumb to push it back inside.

“be a good girl and keep it inside. ‘m gonna fuck this tummy full of cum,” gojo says, stroking your clit, further overstimulating you. this goes on all night, round after round. The two of you fuck like you haven’t seen eachother in years instead of just a few hours. 

the two of you are taking a few minutes to come down from your last high when then you climb on top of him. “baby, can we go for just one more? i’ll top this time,” you say, grinding your sticky, cum filled pussy against his growing hard-on. gojo knew he would spoil you rotten for as long as he lived. 

“I thought you’d never ask,” he says with a big smirk painted on his face.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

a/n: writing smut is SO difficult 😭 putting my horny brain to work is easy but having to type it out coherently is so hard.

thanks for reading!

[grimm-writings]

can i request chil eavesdropping on reader telling marcille about their crush, and getting jealous because he doesn’t realise that it’s him?

distant

…ft! chilchuck x gn! reader

…tags! fluff, miscommunication, marcille being a gossip and izutsumi being petty

…wc! 613

…notes! making this short and sweet. hope you enjoy!! 

Even with Chilchuck’s enhanced hearing, it’s difficult to miss Marcille’s loud gasps of shock whenever she hears anything that strikes her very core.  You and the elf like to take the chance to gossip with one another when the day comes to a close.  Chilchuck personally doesn’t get it, but that doesn’t mean he won’t tune in occasionally to something that catches his attention.

With a lowered voice, “actually,” you say, “I have something to admit…”

“Yes?” Marcille matches your volume.  Anyone else probably wouldn’t be able to listen in easily, all except Chilchuck.  What could even be so interesting that you can only discuss it this way Marcille?

“I think…  No, I know for certain I caught feelings for him,” you whisper with a dejected sigh.

Chilchuck freezes in place as he was helping clean plates from the past meal.  Izutsumi, who was joining him, spared him a glance.  Noticing this, Chilchuck quietly apologises and continues the routine.

…Izutsumi’s foul stare doesn’t stop him from listening in on the conversation more.

“Really?”  Marcille whispers, though with her excitement in tow it makes her voice sound shrill, which makes Chilchuck flinch slightly.  “You figured it out?”

“Yeah,” you respond with a sigh.  “Don’t think he likes me back– it’s like he’s giving me the cold shoulder.”

What?  Someone would be stupid enough to be cruel to you?  But you’re so sweet!  Even observing from a distance, Chilchuck has formed a bit of a soft spot for you.  He doesn’t get too close, out of his own rule of not forming interpersonal relationships.

He’d have to give that guy a piece of his mind…

“Ah, but he’s actually really sweet once you peel back the layers, you know?”  You continue, confusing Chilchuck further.  “He can be so soft, so gentle… But once he realises what he’s doing, he withdraws.  He’s so distant.”

“So he’s sending mixed signals?”  Marcille confirms.

“Mhm…”

A nasty twinge of jealousy twists in Chilchuck’s chest.  Not like he isn’t used to it when it comes to you before.  You really care for this guy?  And he’s not even being clear with what he wants?  Ugh, if only he could see him face to face!

Wait… Could it be someone like Laios?  Or Senshi?  Laios can be a little out of the loop when it comes to communication… and he wouldn’t doubt anyone would be somewhat enamoured with Senshi’s ability to care for someone.

Fixating on relationships is not what Chilchuck tends to do, but if it’s you, he wants the best for you.  He really does, but…

“Oh my God, are you stupid?”

Izutsumi’s voice breaks Chilchuck out of his thoughts, looking up at the younger girl.  Her own ear twitches, indicating she also heard the conversation.  “They’re obviously talking about you.”

Chilchuck flushes.  “What–”

“And you mock me for not being self-aware.”

“I’m not even that–!”

“Gentle?”  Izutsumi scoffs.  “Says the guy who tenderly carved a woodwork ornament for them.  Get real.”

Embarrassment fills Chilchuck up and out of his ears, opening his mouth and closing it cluelessly.  “...I’m not doing anything about it.”

“And let them believe you don’t like them at all?  Sure, go for it.”

Chilchuck purses his lips hesitantly, putting the plate away.  “If they want to confess, they will…  I won’t leave them distant.”

Izutsumi only stares with little amusement.  Relationships are her bane, but not in the way Chilchuck holds disdain for them.  They make people stupid, like how Chilchuck and you are.  She sighs wearily, finishing up the chore and returning to where she was relaxing.

You two better get over yourselves fast, if not for your own sakes, then for hers.

[be-with-me-so-happily]

Okay so hear me out. Angst. Pure hardcore I’m gonna crawl into a hole angst. DIVORCERRY. (I’m unwell I can’t help it)

I'm back! Feels weird tbh. Hehe, I had actually started writing this before going through my own. Feels timely that I post it now. It might not be as angsty as you requested, and/or as I intended, but I hope you enjoy... it's been so long since I've written that I have no idea of it's any good.

You never thought you'd be here. Then again, does anyone? Sitting in a cold conference room, with your lawyer beside you and the man you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with now avoiding eye contact, as he stares down at his rings from across the large wooden table. It's not something you ever considered happening when you said 'I do'.

But here you are, feeling every emotion and yet none at all, listening to a mediator list off all the 'assets' that you and Harry accumulated together over the years.

Item after item brings back memory after memory, and a part of you wants it to stop. What's the point? These are things you bought together, found together, did together. Now you are no longer together.

"Mrs. Sty-... sorry, I mean... Ms. YN."

“Hm?” Your eyes shoot up to the man at the head of the table, the one who is there to divvy up the material items from your relationship. The only one who seems to have a hint of compassion in his eyes.

“Is there anything you'd like to start with? Something in particular you'd like to have for yourself?”

What a loaded question. Is there something you want? Yes. How about the last few years back? Or how about a marriage that didn't fall apart in the first place? How about just the beautifully dimpled smile that would appear any time Harry looked your way, rather than the small, apathetic glances you occasionally receive when you have to be in the same room with each other?

You clear your throat, taking note of the fact that Harry still has yet to look at you.

"All I ask… is for my attorney fees to be covered.” You take a quick, deep inhale. “That's all. He can have everything else."

You immediately rise from the chair, oddly one of the most comfortable you've been in, especially considering the situation. Of course, this is the moment he looks up at you, with the most intense furrow of confusion plastered across his brow.

“YN.” Your lawyer whispers, causing you to look down to a face just as confused as the one sitting across from you.

“Just…” You shake your head, knowing that you'll only be encouraged to stay there longer, to continue with the torturous meeting, and dissect why something could mean so much to you. “Just send me the papers to sign.”

“Come on YN…” The sudden deep tone of that familiar British voice sends a shock through your system. With how little you've heard it lately, you'd almost forgotten what it sounded like. Almost. “There has to be something you want. I’m… I'm willing to negotiate.”

You drop your head and rest your palms against the wooden table in front of you. There's a lot that you want, but right the only thing you need is for this meeting to be over.

"Harry, I was never with you to get something from you, other than love.” The tightening in your chest begins, leaving you to feel as if words and air are both now difficult to find. “Now that's gone, so I don't really have anything to fight you for."

You stand back straighter, reaching into your purse and withdrawing the last thing you still had from him.

In your hand is a box, a small box, which you place on the table and glide across the wood, your heart almost questioning if you'll be able to let it go. You release it with a sigh and a full ache in your heart as you realize that this is it. This is the end.

Harry's gaze darts back and forth, never landing on your eyes or the object for more than a few seconds. There's a look on his face of potential disbelief. Maybe it's finally hitting him too, though neither of you should be surprised.

“It's my-”

“Wedding… ring...”

You aren't sure if either lawyer or the mediator heard the whispers of the short interaction, but the room suddenly becomes silent, the void paralleling what's left of your marriage.

What do you say now? What's an appropriate parting statement to give the man you never thought you would part from?

Then again, you've both said all that you needed to say. That's why you are there. So maybe it's best to leave it at that.

You allow yourself one last look at him, and your heart feels as if it's breaking all over again, seeing the same sentiment in his eyes. Those beautiful green eyes you wanted to look at forever.

Considering all the songs Harry's written about sweet fruit, you wish this moment didn't taste so sour.

Taglist: @watermelonsugacry @tw1nflamebruis3 @hopefulwastelandcreation @tenaciousperfectionunknown @queenmadi2 @runway-to-my-aid @theekyliepage @be-yourss @behindmygreyeyes @michellekstyles @a-strange-familiar @yousunshineyoutempter @buckybarnessimpp @msolbesg @sleutherclaw @katiebaxterrrrrr @percysaidnever @mrspeacem1nusone @thurhomish @itsbebeyyy @divalovesyou @bxbyysstuff @sunshinemoonsposts @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @boybands-baseball @austynparksandpizza @missmielyhoran @harryspirate @tiaamberxx @matildasatellite @cherryshouse @yatebe-kohayu @perfectzinenerdperson @babyiamperfectforyou @daphnesutton @around1302 @daydreamingofmatilda @swiftmendeshoran @one-sweet-gubler @jerseygirlinca @carey86 @lomlhstyles @vrittivsanghavi @fdl305 @sunflowersloverr @lemoncrushh @groovychaosavenue @justlemmeadoreyou @copiastricycle @lillefroe

[storiesforallfandoms]

i’m sorry i let you down ~ eminem

word count: 1492

request?: yes!

“Hii. I was wondering if you could do an Eminem imagine where the reader is his daughter who is going through addiction like he used to?”

description: she promised herself that things wouldn’t get bad, but when they do she has to come clean to her dad about her problem

pairing: eminem x daughter!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of drug addiciton and withdrawals, some use of y/n, rpf

masterlist (one, two, three)

She promised herself things wouldn’t get bad. She knew about her dad’s addiction. She knew how bad it was. He had warned her to be careful when her doctor’s prescribed pain medication to help with post-surgery pain she was having. In fact, (Y/N) was reluctant to take the meds at all. She didn’t want to even risk getting hooked on them the same way her dad did. But, after a day of the pain being too much to bare, she caved and took the meds.

I’ll have control of this, she told herself. It won’t get bad. Once I’m healed, I’ll stop taking them.

She kept telling herself that as she got a refill after taking all of the first bottle. She convinced herself she still needed them as she went back to her doctor to ask for another prescription. Even after she healed and was given clearance to go back to her normal life, she told herself she still needed the prescriptions.

Eventually, she recognized that she had a problem, but by that point it was far too late.

(Y/N) knew she should’ve reached out for help when she realized she had a problem. Especially to her dad, who had struggled before and had already gone through detox and rehab. But she felt too ashamed to tell anyone. She didn’t want to admit that she hadn’t heeded Marshall’s warnings and started taking the pain meds anyways. She knew how he would react, and she didn’t want to let him down. She thought she could handle it on her own. She knew she had a problem, so that meant she could fix it, right?

But the withdrawal symptoms were too strong when she tried to stop. She’d shiver yet be sweating, she couldn’t keep food down, and she’d be awake all night, among other things. She broke down too easily to make the withdrawal stop, and then had to start the process all over again. It was a never ending loop.

And it probably would’ve continued endlessly, if Marshall hadn’t found her.

She was in the middle of a bad bought of withdrawals, hunched over her toilet as the contents of her lunch emptied from her stomach. Because of this, (Y/N) didn’t hear the knock at her front door, nor did she hear the door open and shut. It wasn’t until someone was kneeling down next to her that she realized anyone else was there. And to her horror, it was Marshall.

“Are you alright?” he asked, his voice full of fatherly concern. His eyes studied her face, slick with sweat and pale from how sick she had been.

She couldn’t lie to him. Not when he was looking at her. He’d see right through her. So, she nodded to the garbage bin next to the sink. When he looked, he saw the empty pill bottle she had flushed hours ago to stop herself from relapsing. Marshall knew immediately and sprang into action. He gave (Y/N) a wet cloth to wipe her face and told her to meet him in the car when she was ready.

“Where are you taking me?” she asked.

“You’ll be better off at rehab. They can help you through the withdrawal.”

When he left, (Y/N) allowed herself to cry.

~~~~~~

A few days in rehab proved to be much better than the weeks (Y/N) had been trying to get clean on her own. The withdrawal was still hard, but like her dad said, they helped her through it. Besides sleep still being an issue, everything else had mostly passed.

Her sisters came to visit after the second day of her being there, and her mom called almost every night, but she had yet to hear from Marshall.

“He’s not mad,” Hailie had assured her. “He’s just glad he found you when he did.”

(Y/N) didn’t believe her.

It was nearly a week later when one of the workers told (Y/N) she had a visitor. When she entered the visiting room, she stopped in her tracks when she saw Marshall had been waiting for her.

He stood, but hesitated a moment before moving to hug her. She gratefully accepted the gesture.

“You look at lot better,” he said as they sat down.

“I feel mostly better. I’m still not sleeping, but that’s it.”

“The insomnia is the worst part. It’ll take time, but eventually it’ll get better.”

(Y/N) nodded. She suddenly felt like she couldn’t look her father in the eye. She was glad he had finally come, but now he was here her shame had returned. Not only shame that she had fallen into addiction, but also the fact that Marshall had to find out the way he did.

“I’m sorry,” she finally said, her voice small.

Marshall seemed shocked. “For what?”

A lump was forming in (Y/N)’s throat. She tried to swallow it down so she could speak. “For letting you down.”

“Honey, who said you let me down?”

She let out a humorless laugh. “Please, dad. No one had to tell me. It’s kind of obvious.”

He was still looking at her in confusion.

“You told me not to take the pain meds,” she said. “You warned me and I did it anyways. I was stupid enough to think I could have a control on them, but I didn’t. I let myself fall into addiction and I let myself suffer because I was stupid and didn’t take your warnings.”

Tears were running down her cheeks. She looked away from Marshall and tried to wipe them away, but it was no use. They were falling so quickly that as soon as she wiped one away, another took it’s place.

“(Y/N), you didn’t let me down,” Marshall said. “You’re not stupid for taking the meds. I didn’t tell you not to take them, I said to be careful taking them. Doctors prescribe those types of medication for a reason, and obviously you needed them if you started taking them in the first place. The unfortunate thing is, a lot of those pain meds can become addictive and some doctors don’t seem to care about that. It’s not your fault.”

“I didn’t want you to be disappointed,” (Y/N) admitted. “You’ve always told us about your problem, and I felt like if I told you about mine that...you would be disappointed in me.”

“I would never be disappointed in you for struggling. We can’t control things like that, no matter how many times I’ve told you about my addiction or how many precautions you try to take. If anything, I was disappointed that you hadn’t told me about it, but I realize now you only did that because you were scared.”

(Y/N) nodded. She had been scared. She knew her dad wouldn’t be the only one who would be upset about finding out about her addiction, but he was the one she was most worried about getting a reaction from considering his past. At the time, she couldn’t bare to think about the look on his face if she had come clean before. Now, though, she was starting to realize that the smartest decision would’ve been to tell someone long ago.

“You waited to come visit,” she said. “I thought - ”

“It was because I was mad,” he finished. “Hailie told me.”

“But thinking more clearly, it’s probably because you were waiting for me to get a little better, right? Mom said that’s why she hasn’t come yet. She was afraid to see me in the early stages of detoxing.”

“Well, there was that. I’ll be honest, the state I found you in still haunts me a little bit. But also, I don’t exactly have fond memories about being in a place like this, so coming to visit was hard.”

(Y/N) almost face palmed. Of course, that made sense. Visiting someone in rehab had to be tough on its own, but visiting after you yourself had gone through rehab had to have a whole other layer of trauma to it she was sure.

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “For everything. I should’ve told you long ago about what I was going through.”

“I don’t blame you for not telling me. I’m just glad that you’re okay, and that I found you in the stages of withdrawal and not something else.”

They both stood and hugged again. (Y/N) was reluctant to let her dad go, but she knew he couldn’t stay all day. The fact that he came at all was a relief, and she was feeling better after their conversation.

“I’ll come back in a few days,” he promised her. “And I’ll visit regularly until you’re out.”

“I’d really like that,” she said. “Thank you, dad.”

“You have nothing to thank me for, sweetheart.” He pulled her in for one last hug and kissed the top of her head. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

[wandamaximoffsbadgirl]

request: reader needs some comfort during a depressive episode but doesn’t know how to communicate that to mommy wanda and in turn shuts her out. mommy wanda is obviously distraught and tries everything to get reader to let her in but reader thinks shes been too needy lately and doesn’t want to bother wanda. little does she know that wanda cries at night thinking shes done something wrong to hurt us

Mommy!Wanda x fem!reader

Summary: You've been stuck in a depressive episode, not wanting to bother your Mommy, but she knows when you're struggling and only wants to help.

Word Count: 1.1K

Warnings: Mentions of depression, hurt/comfort

Author's Notes: Boy listen here everyone needs a Mommy Wanda when going through a depressive episode. It would cure all of us I'm sure of it!

The room was dimly lit, shadows playing across the walls as the evening sun set. You sat on the edge of your bed, staring blankly at the floor. The weight of your thoughts felt like an anchor, pulling you deeper into a sea of sadness. The idea of reaching out to anyone, even to Mommy Wanda, seemed overwhelming. You didn't want to burden her, not again.

Wanda, on the other hand, was pacing in the kitchen. She'd noticed your withdrawal over the past few days and it gnawed at her heart. She tried everything—gentle knocks on your door, leaving your favorite snacks on the counter, sending you little texts filled with love and concern. But nothing seemed to break through the walls you'd built around yourself.

Tears welled up in Wanda's eyes as she thought of you, alone in your room. She wiped them away quickly, not wanting to let herself cry again. But the nights were the hardest. Once she was in bed, her thoughts raced, and the tears came freely. She feared she’d done something wrong, that she’d somehow pushed you away. She ached to comfort you, to hold you close and make everything better, but she didn’t know how to reach you.

Tonight, she couldn’t take it anymore. Taking a deep breath, Wanda walked to your room and knocked softly. "Sweetheart, can I come in?" Her voice was gentle, but you could hear the worry behind it.

You hesitated, your heart aching with the desire to let her in but your mind pulling you back, telling you that you were too much, that you were a burden. After a long moment, you finally whispered, "Okay."

Wanda opened the door slowly, stepping inside with a tentative smile. She saw the tears in your eyes, the way you were curled up defensively. Her heart broke a little more. She walked over and sat beside you on the bed, not saying anything at first. She simply wrapped her arms around you, pulling you close.

"It's okay, darling," she murmured, her voice trembling slightly. "You can let it out. I'm here."

You wanted to resist, to push her away and keep everything bottled up inside, but her warmth, her presence was too comforting. The tears started to fall, and before you knew it, you were sobbing into her shoulder. Wanda held you tightly, her own tears mingling with yours.

"I’m so sorry, Mommy," you choked out between sobs. "I didn’t want to bother you. I’ve been too needy lately."

Wanda shook her head, her grip on you tightening. "Oh, sweetheart, you’re never a bother. Never. I love you so much, and I want to be here for you. Please don’t shut me out. It hurts me more to see you suffering alone."

You cried harder at her words, the guilt and relief washing over you. Wanda rocked you gently, whispering soothing words, letting you know over and over how much she loved you, how much you meant to her.

As the sobs began to subside, Wanda pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes. "Promise me something, okay? Promise me you’ll talk to me, even if it’s hard. We’ll get through this together."

You nodded, sniffling. "I promise."

Wanda smiled, brushing a tear from your cheek. "Good. Now, how about we get some hot cocoa and watch a movie? Just the two of us."

A small smile tugged at your lips, and for the first time in days, you felt a glimmer of hope. "I’d like that."

Wanda kissed your forehead and helped you up. As you walked together to the kitchen, you felt the heavy weight beginning to lift. You knew it wouldn’t be easy, but with Wanda by your side, you could face whatever came next.

The living room was warm and cozy, the soft glow of fairy lights casting a gentle light around the space. Wanda had set up the couch with fluffy blankets and pillows, creating a perfect nest for the two of you. The scent of hot cocoa filled the air, mingling with the buttery aroma of popcorn. A small pile of candy lay within reach, a sweet treat for the evening.

You and Wanda were both in your pajamas, a comforting reminder of the intimate, safe space you shared. Wanda wore her favorite flannel pajamas, and you had on your softest, most comforting pair. As you both settled onto the couch, you nestled close to her, feeling her warmth and the steady rhythm of her heartbeat.

Wanda wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer. "Here, darling," she said, handing you a steaming mug of hot cocoa topped with a mountain of whipped cream and a sprinkle of chocolate shavings. "Extra whipped cream, just the way you like it."

You took the mug with a grateful smile. "Thank you, Mommy."

She kissed the top of your head. "Anything for you, sweetheart."

The movie started, a light-hearted animated film that was one of your favorites. The colorful characters and cheerful music were a welcome distraction from the heaviness that had been weighing on you. As the story unfolded on the screen, you found yourself getting lost in the playful antics and heartwarming moments.

Wanda kept you close, her arm a constant source of comfort and security. She would occasionally reach for a handful of popcorn or a piece of candy, offering you some as well. You both giggled at the funny parts and sighed contentedly during the sweet scenes.

At one particularly touching moment in the movie, you felt a tear slip down your cheek. Wanda noticed immediately, her thumb gently brushing it away. "You okay, love?"

You nodded, a mix of emotions swelling in your chest. "Yeah, it's just... nice. Being here with you."

Wanda smiled, her eyes soft with love. "It’s nice being here with you too. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else."

As the movie continued, you felt yourself relaxing more and more. The warmth of the cocoa, the sweetness of the candy, and the comfort of Wanda’s presence made you feel safe and cherished. By the time the credits rolled, you were snuggled up against her, feeling a peacefulness that had eluded you for days.

Wanda turned to you, her expression tender. "Feeling a bit better?"

You nodded, leaning into her embrace. "Yeah, I am. Thank you, Mommy."

She hugged you tightly, her love wrapping around you like a warm blanket. "Always, my darling. I’m here for you, no matter what."

You stayed like that for a while, the remnants of the movie still playing softly in the background. The world outside faded away, leaving just the two of you in your little cocoon of comfort and love. And in that moment, you knew you were not alone; you had Wanda, and together, you could face anything.

[seattlesellie]

hi angel i saw u say you wanted more fluffy ellie requests and i thought about maybe something along the lines of the cute pics she has of you two in her phone idk it’s just something i thought of u don’t have to write it if u don’t want to i just love ur blog and everything u write 💗💗💗💗🫶🏻🫶���🫶🏻

not about love ♡

pre-dating slightly loser college!ellie 🦕 incoming !! basically u go through ellies phone and find… something. part 1 of… maybe?

warnings: slightly mean ellie for a second, sexual tension, mentions of weed and alcohol.

part 2

Tic-Toc, the gentle sounds of the ancient clock in Ellie’s room filled the thick air. a gift from Joel. It was a warm, lazy afternoon. You almost fell asleep, almost. Her bed smelled like her, so did the ruffled, Nirvana t-shirt you were laying on. Everything in this room practically screamed Ellie. The scent, the sketches on the wall — of Dina, and Jesse, and you. Why did she have more sketches of you than anyone else? A dinosaur lego, a miniature solar system, obscure band posters, Oh! here’s the pin you gifted her once!, two pairs of mismatched socks, a random rock (“It’s from like, the moon” she said. It was from the local science museum.)

“El” you whined, receiving a gentle hum in response.

“I’m bored” you exclaimed with a heavy sigh. It's not as if she owed you any attention, she told you she had to study. For some reason, some odd reason nor you or her could put your finger on, you had to be there with her. “Well” you excused. “It’s not like I have anything better to do, right?” A lie. What about your project due Monday? Nevermind.

“Catch this” she exclaimed, tossing a serene light blue stress ball directly at your face.

“Ow!” you whined, yet again. If only you knew what those whines did to her.

“Sorry bro, gotta finish this fucking question. She said, flexing her sore hand. “Fuck this fucking Prof, seriously” She mumbled, clearly annoyed, clearly frustrated. Ellie had this thing, well, if you could even call something that she only had specifically with you a “Thing” — where she had to call you by those stupid names. “Dude” “Bro” “Jeez man!” just to see you squirm. Youd flinch ever so slightly, a fleeting reaction that betrayed a hint of offense flickering in your eyes. Every time you couldn’t help but pout, couldn’t help but look a little bit hurt, it did something to her. It wasn’t because she liked hurting you, God knows she didn’t. It would give her a glimmer of hope, of light. Shed journal about it, too;

“I called her Bro again. She looked really sad. Why does she get sad? I’m so fucking stupid. It’s probably because no one else calls her fucking bro, I’m literally delusional. Also had expired fucking Pizza. Worst day ever. Shit. Not that bad because she smiled at batted her eyelashes. God Ellie you need therapy.” YOURE A DUMBASS!!!!”

Half an hour had elapsed, brimming with Ellie muttering to herself under her breath. lighting a blunt, burning the blunt, passing it to you, begging you to give it back after 3 seconds.

You were pretty sure you had gone through every single app on your phone five times already. Stalking rando’s on Instagram, watching ASMR tiktoks, talking shit with Dina in the groupchat. How much more of this boredom could you take? My god, you were humming a stupid melody to yourself.

“Griiiind boy you know I grind when I pull-“

“Shh”

Did Ellie just shush you?!

“Excuse me?” You said.

“I’m trying to concentrate. Also what the fuck is a Fartulum?” Ellie retorted, withdrawing slightly and punctuating her frustration with stomps on the floor. God, she was too fucking cute.

“Can I play on your phone?” You questioned innocently. One more opening and closing the same App and you’d have lost your damn mind. You could practically see the Candy Crush candies popping inside of your brain every time you closed your eyes.

“No” she answered bluntly.

“Why? you scared I’ll find your nudes? Not gonna look- Swear on my li-“

You could hear her eye rolling, somehow.

“I dont have fucking nudes” she affirmed with a touch of exasperation.

“Someone else’s?” you said quietly. Your tone almost exposed you. Almost.

“Psh… no” Ellie said in return, just as quiet. Her tone almost exposed her, too.

Wish I had yours. Shut it, Ellie.

“Then let me go on your phone” You whined, got off the bed and almost slipped on one of her belts that laid on the floor. So messy, so, so Ellie.

She cast a sidelong glance at you, her eyes darting from the corner of her vision. Her grip on the pen was incredibly tight. It happened every time you got near, got too close to her. Whether it was clutching the strings of her hoodie, her knuckles turning white with tension, or her toes curling in a clenched stance. Shed never ever admit it to herself, cool, calm & collected, but fuck did you make her nervous.

You settled yourself on the chair beside her, causing her to divert every ounce of her attention back to her assignment, shifting it solely onto you. You. You. You.

She gazed directly into your eyes, and a peculiar warmth flooded your face. Its funny how even after being friends for all this time, making eye contact with her managed to stir something within you. She asked you about it once, mid fight. “You never even look at me when we talk!” she huffed. “Yes I do!” no you dont. “No you don’t!” and when your lips quivered, turning you in, she left it at that.

Ellie scratched the back of her neck, her arms flexing subtly with the motion. You gave her that look, the look that made her cheeks go bright pink, her hands clam up. She bit her lip. “Fine”. You won, flashing her a toothy smile she couldn’t help but grin at.

And there you were, with Ellie’s iPhone 5C (Yeah, she never got that buying a new iPhone every 2 years phenomenon) laying on Ellie’s bed, in Ellie’s room.

“Ew - Ellie what the fuck? why is your screen greasy?!” You squirmed, fingertips grazing over her slightly sticky screen. Is that fucking chicken nuggets residue?

“Shut up, dude. You asked me for my phone so deal with the consequences”

Dude.

You rolled your eyes, proceeded to wipe the screen of her phone with the corner of her cozy flannel bedsheet. Her phone was really warm. One more month and it would probably set on fire.

“Password?” You questioned, and shifted to lay on your stomach, your cheek caressing the pillow. It had a little auburn colored hair laying on top of it.

Ellie huffed and waited a second before she responded, contemplating again. It’s harmless, fuck it.

“2222”

“Okay, seriously - you could get hacked with that dumbass password”

“Pffft” Ellie huffed. “I’d fucking beat them up if they tried robbing me” she said, ever the brave.

“I’m not… talking about robbers, Ellie. Like, hackers?”

“Same thing”

“You cant beat up hackers they’re- Nevermind” you sighed.

2222.

If the room was classic Ellie, god, so was her phone. Default Apple background, because she truly couldn’t be bothered. iMessage, Instagram with four pictures on her feed; One of her arm slightly flexing her tat (who the fuck was the bitch who commented “damn” under there?), one of a stray cat wearing her grey beanie, a meme that says “Fuck sex. Let’s do something romantic like play Fireboy and Watergirl on CoolMathGames.Com” (God, she thought she was so funny for that one. 6 Likes, one from you, one from Jesse, the fake Instagram account you and Dina created for Joel, her ex Cat, and one from Dina and a spam bot). Next to the Instagram laid the NASA app (of course), Call Of Duty for iPhone (Made her sleep for only fifteen minutes one night), calculator, 9GAG (People still use that?!), and… her gallery.

You pursed your lips, contemplating the situation. Should you?after all, Ellie said; No nudes. So what could possibly be on there?

Of course.

You couldn't contain a soft giggle that escaped your lips, earning an inquisitive whine from Ellie. "What's so funny?" she grumbled, unable to resist her curiosity.

“Said you were studying, so study” You said, while scrolling through her gallery.

As you readjusted your position on the bed, you unintentionally swiped to the left, revealing her albums. Just harmless browsing, right?

“Screenshots”

“Funny memes”

“Pics to send Jesse when he’s being stupid”

“Dhhdjsjsou”

“Stink ❤️”

A picture of you, laying on the grass, a bright, toothy smile spread across your face. It was from your Instagram, the one you deleted because you thought you looked dumb. The one Ellie commented a for once unsarcastic “Woah” on.

The album was locked.

You felt your throat go dry, heartbeat speeding up. Your leg started shaking, and God, you hoped she would come and snatch the phone off of your hand.

But she didn’t. She just shifted in her sit, cleared her throat and resumed her studies.

You shouldn’t have. But you did.

2222

Unlocked. Success!

You felt like screaming at the top of your lungs. Was it even hotter in here now? Extra humid today? you bit your lip, it almost hurt.

A picture of you and Dina. A selfie you sent to the groupchat two weeks ago. Ellie doodled a green heart on it. You were sweating. A picture of you on Christmas last year. That same day you had your stupid fight on. You were wearing a Santa hat, mug of hot Coco and tiny white marshmallows in your hand.

Your stomach felt as if it were infested by a swarm of Ellie looking butterfly’s.

A picture of you sound asleep, in Ellie’s bed. She was mid-moving a hair strand away from your face. It was blurry. You recognized that top.

You were wasted that day. Blabbering uncontrollably about how you had to crash on her bed, because you were scared your new roommate would think you’re stupid, and dumb, and an idiot, for getting drunk at a frat party.

You couldn’t understand why Ellie didn’t want to help you. You almost kicked her when she said she couldn’t, that you’d be better off in your bed. “I snore. And I kick in my sleep - Seriously” You almost cried. You called her a bad friend, a fake one, because — isn’t that what friends are for? Shouldn’t they have your back when you’re a babbling mess? Hold your hair for you, put you to sleep, take care of you?

Ellie couldn’t sleep that night.

When you laid there, right on her bed, her face went so red and hot you could fry something on it. She almost hit herself in the face when her chest grazed your back. When your leg caressed her’s, and ended up on top of her thigh, she almost screamed. When you shifted to face her, an angelic, sound asleep expression on your face, she swore she almost died. The string of your top came off, revealing more of your shoulder, and the strap of your bra, Ellie turned around so fast she almost woke you up.

She slept for 20 minutes.

When she woke up, she had to make herself remember it. Remember you, laying with her.

So she took a picture. An innocent one.

You almost jumped when the pen fell slipped from her hand and she turned around to face you.

“What are you doing?”

Whats in her notes app?

♡

part two

[semperama]

Ohhhh 42 for buddie, please? 👀

“Is this okay?”

----

It’s all going great, right up until Buck realizes he’s crying.

“Hey,” Eddie says, his hand on the side of Buck’s face, thumb brushing through the wetness on his cheek. “Hey, hey, what is it?”

He’s stopped moving, and Buck hates that. Buck arches his back, wants to press his skin to Eddie’s, wants to get him closer and deeper, until he has no more thoughts in his own head. “Please,” he says. He digs his fingers into Eddie’s hips. “Please.”

“Is this okay?” Eddie asked a few minutes ago, one of his arms sliding under Buck’s shoulders, so close they were almost nose to nose, close enough Buck could see the flecks of gold in his eyes. They’ve never done it like this before. It’s always been hands and mouths, one memorable time where Eddie let Buck climb into his lap and roll his hips until they came shuddering and gasping together. They haven’t talked about it, except right before the first time, when Eddie asked, “What’s it like?” and Buck said, “I don’t know how to describe it,” and Eddie said, “You could show me.”

That was weeks ago, and Buck has been—fine, mostly. As long as he doesn’t think about it. As long as he doesn’t acknowledge that he’s being Buck 1.0 again, seven years of character growth down the drain. Whenever it starts to ache too badly, he gets his hands on Eddie and pretends. Because they’re friends and partners and—Buck doesn’t have words for the rest, but they can fuck, too, why not? Buck can suck on his tongue and suck on his cock and suck bruises into his thighs that will still be there once Buck is back home in his own bed, curled up, hugging a pillow, unable to sleep.

But then Eddie had the nerve to ask, “Is this okay?” and now Buck is crying.

“Buck,” Eddie says, but Buck squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head.

“No, no, I’m fine.” He pulls on Eddie’s waist like he can make him move that way, like Eddie isn’t rigid as steel when he wants to be. “Keep going.”

“You’re crying.”

Eddie withdraws from him completely, and that’s—Buck sobs, can’t help it, the sound high and shuddering. He tries to twitch away from Eddie’s fingers on his face, but Eddie persists, pulling and petting until Buck flutters his eyes open and looks at him again.

“Did I hurt you?” he asks, but it’s clear he knows he didn’t. He’s a firefighter and a medic; he knows when someone’s physically injured. And he knows Buck better than anyone. Just like Buck knows him.

“No,” Buck says. He runs his hand up Eddie’s arm, soft skin and the flexed curve of his bicep, and wonders how he’ll be able to live not touching him like this anymore. “I told you I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” Eddie uses his palm this time, swiping away moisture that’s leaked down toward his jaw. “Tell me what I’m doing wrong.”

“Nothing. Nothing.” Because Eddie is perfect, of course he is, and here Buck is ruining his first time, his chance to experiment. Ruining his confidence for the next guy who’ll be in this bed, after Buck. After— “You’re perfect, Eddie, I swear.” He pushes this time, pushes at Eddie’s shoulder, but it’s just as ineffective as before. “Let’s—can we—”

“Buck,” Eddie says. He props his elbows alongside Buck’s shoulders, takes his face in his hands. The expression on his face is devastating, concern bleeding into anguish. “Did you not want…?”

“No,” Buck says. “No, it’s not that. I want too much. I want…” He doesn’t even know how to say it, so he just says, “Eddie,” low and pleading.

He expects Eddie to roll away, the warm weight pinning Buck to the bed disappearing, cold rushing in. He expects to hear that this was a mistake, that Buck wrecked this because he couldn’t be content with what he had.

But Eddie doesn’t move. Instead, his fingers slip up into Buck’s hair, and the corner of his mouth lifts, his gaze going soft and molten. “We’re idiots, I think,” he says, then brushes his lips across Buck’s jaw where he surely tastes like salt. “You could never want too much.” He kisses Buck’s mouth, speaks the next words right against his lips. “Want to give you everything.”

Buck’s breath hitches on another sob. “Eddie,” he says desperately, and this time when he pulls at Eddie’s hips, it works. Eddie reaches between them, lines himself up, and slides back inside, back where he belongs. Buck wraps his arms around Eddie’s neck, his legs hooked around his waist to keep him close, get him deeper, keep him there. That he could actually get to have this seems impossible. Impossible that Eddie could want what he wants.

“I love you,” Eddie says. He rocks his hips, just slightly, making Buck cry out. “God, I love you.”

It’s almost too much to take. Buck tries to get Eddie closer, wants to touch him everywhere, opens his mouth for Eddie’s tongue and digs his fingers into Eddie’s shoulder and breathes deep, feels his and Eddie’s chests expand together. Eddie can barely move, but it’s good, perfect, just holding him inside like this. Buck never wants it to end.

“Buck,” Eddie says, and this time he’s the one pleading, but Buck murmurs, “Wait,” and, “Like this,” and, “Is this okay?”

Eddie drops his head to Buck’s shoulder and groans, but he pushes in deep and goes still, just like Buck asked. “Anything,” he says. “Anything you want.”

“I love you,” Buck sighs, and he holds on tight.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Entrapment (post Crisis Supercorp angst)

The last place Kara expects to see Lena is in the CatCo elevator. It breaks her heart to feel it lift at the sight of Lena’s breathless smile, only to come crashing down when that smile disappears as Lena sees who it is who held the doors for her. 

But Lena doesn’t withdraw. She squares her shoulders to a professional set as she turns back to face the closing doors. As the car lifts, the silence is so heavy that Kara has to break it before it crutches her alive.

“Visiting Andrea?” 

A noncommittal hum comes too swiftly to be construed as anything but perfunctory. With a lump rising in her throat, Kara swallows painfully, but nods to herself, resolute. Fine. If Lena won’t even try to be civil, then neither will she–

A loud metallic clank lurches through the elevator, making the walls rattle. They stop moving abruptly, staggering slightly to keep their feet through the jostle. The lights then dim, as through to drive the point home. They were stuck.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Lena mutters darkly, jabbing her finger against the help button. To Kara’s surprise, a tinny voice answers, promising that a team was on the way.

“And how long will it be before we’re moving again?” The barest hint of an edge creeps into Lena’s voice, cutting deep in Kara’s ears.

“I couldn’t say, ma’am,” the voice returns, professional but unbothered. “We’ll keep you apprised of any developments.”

The quiet that follows the disconnecting click of the speaker lingers for a long moment before Lena snaps. 

“Fuck!” she hisses sharply. Kara tries her best to pretend her frustration is at being trapped and not that she’s trapped there with Kara. She doesn’t quite succeed. 

She bows her head to hide the tears that prick at her eyes. Neither of them speak again for a good ten minutes before Kara dares to try again.

“How have you been?” She tries to say it casually, but she knows she’s not fooling anyone, let alone Lena.

“How do you think,” Lena mutters a growl.

“I wouldn’t know,” Kara snaps back. “That’s why I asked.”

It comes out sharper than she means to, and she can tell it takes Lena back a bit. Good. Let her see how angry Kara is, how frustrating her rebuffs are, when all Kara wants is to check in. But Lena’s surprise soon shifts to an expression that Kara recognizes as Lena digging her heels in. In that moment, Kara realizes that she’s spoken the language Lena is most fluent in– contempt.

Kara sighs. “Lena…”

“Don’t bother,” Lena drawls, folding her arms over her chest. With a scowl, Kara slumps one shoulder against the elevator wall. 

“Fine.”

—

As the first hour bleeds into a second, Kara’s anger ebbs to a simmer. In its absence, the urge to reach out again overwhelms her. 

“I’m sorry,” she says softly. 

“I don’t care.”

And just like that Kara’s temper flares once more. “You could at least pretend to be civil.”

“What on earth makes you think you’ve earned that from me?”

“I don’t know– how about four years of friendship?!”

“Friendship is a funny way to pronounce ‘deception and fraud’,” Lena scoffs dismissively. 

Kara’s hands curl into fists, and it takes all of her self control not to grip the side rail and crumple it into a mangled mess of metal. “That’s not what it was–”

“You don’t get to decide that,” Lena counters swiftly. Her gaze spears Kara in place, the bright glint of her anger as cold as ice. “

“Actually I do. Your perception isn’t reality, Lena.”

“Oh, I’ve learned that lesson, don’t worry.”

The rebuttal kicks Kara straight in the gut, nearly driving the air from her lungs. Her jaw snaps shut with an audible click, swallowing any retort with the need to keep her tears at bay. Lena senses her moment of weakness, and closes in for the kill.

“And don’t pretend this overture isn’t for any purpose aside from your need to assuage your guilt. If you’re looking for absolution, you won’t be getting it from me. So why don’t you just. move. on.”

—

“You’re wrong, you know.”

By hour four Kara has found a home on the floor of the elevator, her seat padded by her coat. Lena stubbornly remains standing, though Kara can tell by the shifting of her stance that the discomfort of her Louboutins grows by the minute. Lena’s eyes roll towards her in exasperation.

“Well, you’re partly right. But mostly wrong.”

Lena huffs. “Do tell.”

“I do feel guilty,” Kara admits. She picks at the skin of her cuticle, seeking any ounce of solace from the distraction. “But I’m not looking for absolution. I will always carry the guilt of how I treated you. Even if you told me right now that you understood every decision I made that hurt you, I would still feel guilty. Because you deserve better. You’ve always deserved better.”

“Then why the pretense?”

“I miss you, Lena.” Kara lets her hands fall still, and she lifts her chin to meet Lena’s gaze. She shrugs. “It’s not a pretense, just the truth. I just… miss you.”

Lena doesn’t have anything to say to that. Silence returns, and Kara dares to hope it might mean more than it did before.

—

“You think I’ll just move past it?”

Lena finally sits, prying her shoes off and setting them to one side. A wiggle of her toes elicits a cascade of crackles as abused joints settle back into their proper place. Kara gazes at her calmly, feeling better now that she’s gotten at least some of the weight off her chest. She considers Lena’s question– if she’s not expecting forgiveness, yet still yearning to repair their friendship, then what avenue could possibly get them there but the idea that Lena might one day come to peace with what happened?

“I guess… I guess I hoped so.” The admission feels heavy, distorting the air around Kara until Lena’s sharp reproach slams her back to reality. 

“You really thought me capable of that?” Lena smirks, leaning back against the wall. “That’s adorable.”

“Is it?” Kara counters. “All the time I’ve known you, you have demonstrated over and over again that you are a compassionate, kind person– one who believes in second chances.” She lifts one shoulder in a shrug, but doesn’t break eye contact. “Is it really so hard to believe I’d hope that might extend to me?”

Dark eyes narrow, even as blood-red lips curl into a smirk. “You think you’ve cornered the market on being selfish?”

Kara eyes her. “I know you, Lena.”

Lena scoffs. “You still don’t get it. Kind, compassionate, good Lena…” She straightens, shaking her head. “You only knew the person I wanted to be.”

“You’re still those things.” When Lena doesn’t respond, Kara hears her silence as clearly as any response. “But you don’t want to be.”

“Why would I, when it’s only ever brought me heartache?”

—

They get a third update of no update thirty minutes later. The temperature has risen slightly, not enough to affect Kara in her sweater, but bringing a flush to Lena’s cheeks and a sheen of sweat to her upper lip.

“I don’t suppose it’s been long enough for your… friend, to make an appearance?” Lena asks, one eyebrow cocked. 

Kara shakes her head. “You saw the fight on the news two days ago? I sort of, um… Supergirl’s still recovering.”

Lena rolls her eyes. “Wonderful.”

An apology lifts to Kara’s tongue, but she dismisses it before it can emerge. Solar flaring is one of the few things she doesn’t have to apologize for. Instead, she watches Lena, and in the minutes that follow, she can see exhaustion slowly claim her. She’s an old hand at recognizing it by now, after all– it just kills her that she’s now one of its causes. 

“How have you been, Lena. Really.”

Lena sighs, the sound sharp and bitter. “I don’t know Kara. My brother has been resurrected, and someone let him create whole fucking reality with himself at the center of it. How would you be?”

Kara fights the urge to grimace. She may not have let Lex do anything– she didn’t even think bending an entire reality by sheer will was possible. If she had, maybe she could have– no, she stops herself. What Lex had done had been a shortcut. A cheat code, of sorts. By the grace of Mxy she’s seen what cheating the system could do. None of it had felt right– none of it would have been fair to Lena.

If she has a chance of repairing what she broke, she’ll do it the right way. She’ll finally give Lena the agency she deserved all along– even if it’s to tell her to kick bricks. Before she can say as much, Lena exhales, and in the sound Kara hears the fight leaving.

“A brand new reality,” Lena breathes, “where anyone can have a second chance.”

Hope lifts hot and bright in Kara’s chest.

“And all I can think is that I wish he’d just left me out of it.”

Lena’s voice is as heavy as her words. Kara absorbs it, in a way only a person who understands could.

“I’m sorry you feel that way. You’re in a tougher spot than most.” Being positioned as Lex’s right hand, answering to him from the rank and file of the same company she’d resuscitated with her own blood, sweat, and tears… 

“You don’t have to work with him, Lena.” 

“Save the inspiring soliloquy for someone who needs it, Supergirl.” 

“You flourished without him! Why shove yourself back into that box? You saw his diaries, you know how he thinks of you. You’re better than that.” 

This time when Lena meets her gaze, it’s without the malice that has predominated the duration of their entrapment thus far. The combativeness has left her, and in its place is an apathy Kara has only glimpsed once before– the night after Jack Spheer’s death, sitting with Lena on her office couch.

“At one point, I almost believed that,” Lena murmurs. 

This, at least, is a sentiment that Kara has known for all the time she’s known Lena, and she knows just what to say.

“Then I’ll believe it for you,” she says firmly. “And I’ll remind you until you start believing it again.”

“We’re not friends anymore, Kara. There’s no need to pretend you care.”

Kara shakes her head. “I can’t control whether you see me as a friend or not. But you will always be mine.” She holds Lena’s gaze. “Always.”

—

Just as the clock on Kara’s phone ticks past 3pm, Lena breaks the silence for the first time.

“For what it’s worth,” she says, her voice low and solemn, “I’ve missed you too.”

—

Twenty minutes later, the elevator car jolts upwards. It shakes them from their wait-induced torpor, and they rise to their feet together just as the doors peel open to reveal a ledge about chest height with a firefighter kneeling down to study them with an appraising eye.

“You two all right in there?”

“Fine,” Kara and Lena say simultaneously. They shoot each other a wry glance. 

The firefighter nods, reaching in with a long arm. “Time to get you ladies some fresh air.”

Lena goes first, allowing Kara to give her the slightest boost as their rescuer hauls her up. The exit is about as graceful as it could possibly be, and by the time Kara meets her on the other side, Lena is on her feet and tidying her skirt.

Kara stares at her, savoring the chance to drink in the sight of her one last time. Lena feels her gaze, and looks up to meet it, eyes inscrutable as the murmur of the gathered onlookers wash over them.

“It was good to see you,” she offers softly. “Despite the circumstances.”

Lena doesn’t respond. Kara decides to press her luck, just one more time.

“Please, think about what I said. About Lex. You are worth so much more than what he’s offered you.”

Than what I’ve offered you, Kara almost adds. She doesn’t. 

After a long moment, Lena gives a single nod, before merging into the crowd in the direction of Andrea’s office. Kara watches her go, then turns the opposite direction towards the stairwell. As she makes her way down the steps, thoughts of Lena occupy every corner of her mind. The odds of their relationship changing even an inch towards how they used to be are slim to none, Kara knows. But maybe, just maybe, Lena still might take what she said about Lex to heart. 

Replaying Lena’s final nod over and over in her mind’s eye, Kara emerges onto the street outside, greedily inhaling the musty city air. After a moment, she sighs, tipping her head back to bask in the pale winter sun.

Odds or no, she can’t help but hope.

[astralaffairs]

hi!! before i go i jus wanna say, I love your work 🙏🏽 and I finally watch hamilton last night so I might write for it as well 😋😋 but i have a drabble idea.

anyways— thomas having a dance/ball for a campaign during the election and he meets aaron’s little sister, mc, who snuck in. and he can’t help but take interests in her.

“Now, what’s a lady like you doin’ getting a drink just for yourself? Nobody’s offered to do that for you yet?”

Y/N froze as her fingers met the stem of the champagne flute. She had promised herself she would stay to the outskirts of the ball, and her only goal for the night had been to avoid courting attention. However, the packed room was warm, and it was only more so at its perimeter under the lights, and the crisp bubbly had looked oh-so-inviting.

She turned with a polite smile as she picked up the glass, but her eyes widened when she saw the man behind her with his gleaming smile and his velvet suit. She recognized him instantly; after all, she’d seen him before, and he’d even been in her home, but they’d never formally met. He raised an eyebrow when her smile faltered. “I’ve only just arrived. I haven’t had a chance to speak to much of anyone just yet.”

“Then I’m gonna have to count myself lucky to have found you when I did. Thomas Jefferson.” He offered her a hand as he introduced himself, and when she took it, he dipped down to press a soft kiss to her knuckles. Her eyes went even wider.

She cleared her throat as he drew himself back up to his full height, still holding her by the fingertips, and it took a moment for it to occur to her to withdraw her hand. “You’re the host of this ball, then, if I’m not mistaken. Thank you for opening your home to us like this.”

“Believe me, sugar, the pleasure’s all mine,” he said. “Who’re you here with? Feel like I’ve seen you around, but I can’t put my finger on it.”

“Oh, um, my family’s here somewhere. I came on my own, though, and I was planning to meet them here.”

“Your family?” He pursed his lips. “You’re not a Schuyler, are you?”

“No, no, certainly not,” she replied before hastily adding, “although the Schuylers are lovely people, of course. To be a part of their family would make one lucky.”

“So you know the Schuylers, then?” he mused, and she nodded. His growing smile was making her mouth go dry. “I know where I recognize you from; you’re a Burr, aren’t you? Aaron’s sister?”

“I am, yes.” Her smile was tense, laced with unease. His grin was bright as he plucked a drink for himself off of the table behind them.

“So why haven’t I seen you at one of these before? Your family trying to keep you locked away from all the politics?” he asked, and as her eyebrows fell, he could see the look in her eyes sour.

“They’ve decided I can’t be trusted at this kind of event,” she said bitterly, and he quirked a brow. “Aaron claims he’s afraid I’ll say the wrong thing and jeopardize his career, but really, I think he just can’t deal with the idea of splitting people’s attention between us.”

“But you finally proved yourself trustworthy?” he asked mildly, taking a sip of his drink, and she shrugged uncomfortably.

“I suppose so.”

“Then where’s your dear brother now, hm? Why aren’t you here with the rest of your family?” He watched her expectantly, and when she didn’t answer right away, his grin broadened. “They don’t even know you’re here, do they?”

“No, and you’re not going to be the one to tell them,” she said sharply, pointing her champagne flute at him. He raised his eyebrows, amused by the fervor in her tone. “I had to walk miles alone in the dark to get here; I am not being thrown out as soon as I arrive.”

“Well, sweetheart, if you’re not with them, then really, I should be sendin’ you on your way.” Despite the threat, his voice was breezy, and she frowned.

“And what do you have to gain from kicking me out?”

“The respect and appreciation of your family,” he suggested blithely. “The knowledge that I’m not leavin’ a young lady to walk home alone ‘n vulnerable at the end of the night. ‘S just the right thing to do, really.”

She eyed his small smile for a moment before slowly asking, “But despite that, you’d rather I stay, wouldn’t you?” He shrugged unabashedly. “You’re quite shameless, aren’t you, Mr. Jefferson?”

“Only on a good day.” He winked as he took a sip of his drink. “After all, you went through all that effort to get here. There’s gotta be a good reason for it, huh?”

“Of course. I’m here to expand my mind just like everyone else," she said, and he raised an eyebrow.

“And not for the charming future president we’ve got roaming the ball?”

“Oh, I wasn’t aware there was one. Let me know if you see him?”

His full laugh proved him undeterred, and Y/N’s self-satisfied smile was reluctant. "'M glad to see you inherited more of the family wit than your brother seemed to."

"Please, don't tell him that. A lady needs to keep some things a secret."

"It'll stay between us, then," Thomas said, "but I don't think I ever got your name."

"Why, so you know whose presence to report to my brother?"

"So I know who to ask after the next time I see him." His response was quick, and it had Y/N on her heels. Her eyes were wide, eyebrows raised, but when she opened her mouth to answer—

"Y/N." Both she and Thomas turned on their heels at the loud voice to find her brother striding across the room toward them, and her groan was unchecked. The fury in Aaron's voice was barely contained. "What in the world do you think you're possibly doing here, sneaking out after dark? How did you even get here?"

"I brought myself, since nobody else was willing to take me," she bit back, and Thomas raised his eyebrows as he took a sip of his drink.

"That wasn't your decision to make," Aaron snapped. "We are a family, and you have to respect that—"

"Respect what? That you have total control over my life in the name of family values? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?" she asked. "I respect that you have a career and a reputation to maintain, but I am a person, and—"

"And nothing, Y/N. Put the drink down, and leave Mr. Jefferson at peace," he demanded, and Y/N narrowed her eyes, her jaw set. Aaron turned to Thomas, and much of the fire in his voice had subsided when he said, "I'm sorry for her intrusion, Thomas. We didn't know she had followed us here, and we'll send her home at once."

"Now, Aaron, what makes you think she's uninvited company?" Thomas asked, and both Y/N's and Aaron's brows were raised. "Y/N's my guest here this evening; 's the opposite of an intrusion."

He frowned, glancing between Thomas and Y/N. "You mean you're responsible for her presence here tonight?"

"Well, I invited her, so I suppose you could say that," he said casually, and if he winked when he caught Y/N's eye, Aaron didn't think anything of it. Aaron's lips were pursed and his shoulders tense as he glanced between them.

"Why didn't you tell me Thomas had invited you?" he asked Y/N, and she shrugged.

"I didn't think you'd want to hear it, and I didn't want you trying to prevent me from coming."

"If I'd known he asked you to come—"

"So, what, my personhood is dependent on his permission now?"

"Your presence here is, at least."

"As a Burr, I would've been welcome either way."

"Not unattended, however."

"I can attend to myself just fine."

"You know that isn't what I mean when—"

"Aaron, was there somethin' else you needed?" Thomas cut him off, and Aaron's gaze was affronted when it snapped to him. However, he held his tongue. "I was just about to ask Y/N to dance, assuming that's her decision to make 'n all."

Y/N had to bite back her smile at his words, and although Aaron seemed to recognize the challenge in them as his jaw ticked, he said, "Of course. I'm sorry to have interrupted."

"Don't sweat it. Your concern for your sister is awful sweet, even if it isn't needed here," Thomas responded, his smile warm.

"'Concern' isn't how I'd describe it," Y/N muttered bitterly, and Thomas nudged her with his elbow. She frowned.

"Carry on 'n enjoy the rest of the ball, though, and please send my best to your wife," he said. Aaron could only offer a tense smile in response.

“You as well. I suppose I should go find Theodosia.” He looked down skeptically at Y/N. “How are you planning to get home?”

Y/N’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, I…” She hadn’t thought that far, so her gaze was hopeful when it snapped to Thomas, who held her with a hand at the small of her back.

“I’ll arrange for a carriage to take her home,” he promised. “Don’t you worry, Burr. She’s in safe hands.”

“Right,” he said hesitantly, looking Thomas over. “I’ll leave you to it. Don’t do anything stupid, Jefferson.”

“‘S like you don’t even know who you’re talkin’ to,” Thomas said incredulously, and Aaron scoffed.

“I’m sure.” He barely spared them both another glance before departing unceremoniously, shaking his head all the while, and Thomas chuckled. Y/N turned back toward him.

“You’re a regular local hero,” she said sardonically, but the smile in her eyes betrayed her bored tone. Thomas grinned.

“I do try, sweetheart,” he said lightly, “maybe even in a way that deserves a ‘thank you’?”

“Thank you.” Her voice was sincere. “Really. I owe you.”

“Well, if you mean that,” he said, and his eyes were shining as he looked down at her, “I wouldn’t mind making good on that dance I mentioned. Unless you’re in a real rush to get back to your dear old brother.”

He offered her his arm with an eyebrow raised, and she left her empty glass on the table behind them when she took it, drawing a wide grin from him. “How could I say no to our charming host?"

[literaila]

were there any occurrences back in the day where gojo and reader almost kissed?

“i’m not helping you with this.”

gojo is sprawled across the bleachers, his limbs way too long, his hair getting all over your notebook. “please,” he repeats, for the fifth time, “he’s going to kill me if i turn it in late again.”

“maybe go ask one of your friends,” you suggest, idly, not even bothering to pull on the white mop that is currently smudging your neat writing. “oh wait. you can’t.”

there’s a smirk on your face because you quite like it when gojo begs

“is this another—“

“‘cause you don’t have any.”

two otherworldly eyes meet yours. gojo glances up at you with a sort of irritation you rarely get to see on him. “how many times are you going to make that joke?” he asks, grumbling. “it’s getting old.”

you grin. “not to me.”

and then you push him away and he sighs as he lays on the bench, one leg propped in front of you, the other folded almost underneath his torso.

“can you go now? i actually need to finish my assignment.”

gojo makes another pathetic noise. “yaga said no more missions until i turn it in, though,” he pokes you with a shoe. “how am i supposed to buy more pocky if i can’t leave school grounds?”

“bribe suguru to buy some for you.”

“that doesn’t work anymore.”

you raise a brow, pushing his foot away. “what’d you do?”

“i didn’t do anything,” he pouts at you, leaning up. “who ever said a verbal contract was binding?”

“mm… the civil code, i think.”

gojo scoffs. “well, i’m still not paying him.”

“what a shame,” you sigh, abandoning your paperwork��how are you supposed to focus with his syrupy voice droning on, anyway? “i guess the next week will be filled with your sugar withdrawals.”

“or…” gojo sits up, smiling at you—his most irritating one, of course, like he knows some secret. “you could help me with this assignment.”

“i’m not cheating for you.”

“‘help,’” he repeats, “do you know what ‘help’ is?”

“your version of help is having me give you all of the answers and then purposefully misspelling some words so yaga won’t notice.”

“do you think i’m illiterate?” gojo asks, mock hurt.

you laugh. “aren’t you?”

he frowns. “now you have to help me.”

“go ask geto, or shoko, or literally anyone else. why am i your first choice whenever you want to annoy someone?”

you see his eyelashes flutter from the tips of his glasses. “because you have the best reactions,” he answers, slyly.

you look away, shaking your head.

“and you’re the smartest. and meanest. i like it when you’re mean to me.”

you look back over, scoffing. “yeah, i know,” you slide over, just a bit. “you freak.”

who said kissing ass never worked?

you really need to work on setting some boundaries with him. or your own idiocy. maybe you should ask shoko if you got a concussion last time you sparred with nanami.

“what’s the assignment?” you ask, making sure not to look at gojo’s face.

he grins, leaning down anyway. as if he doesn’t know what you’re doing. as if he’s not aware that his grins are your breaking point—that they’ll either push you further away or draw you in so close that you can taste his breath.

as if he can’t feel it too.

“you’re going to help me?” he asks, far too proud. “really?”

“you’re buying me lunch next time we have a mission together,” you tell him. “and dinner.”

“am i?”

you look up at him, eyes sharp, mouth ready to—

but he’s right there, and gojo doesn’t know a single thing about personal space.

and you thought that you were used to this. used to feeling like you can see his eyes, even with his blacked out shades. used to the glimmering edges of his teeth, and the smooth shine to his skin.

used to him and his words and..

god damn it. why does he have to make everything so difficult?

and really, it’s not your fault when you lean forward a little bit—because there’s a slight breeze and you were pushed. because you just lost your balance for a second and you just need to straight out again.

and it’s not even you leaning in at all. it’s gojo—it’s always gojo. it’s always satoru making the wrong moves and pushing these things too far, and it’s not your fault that his lips are pink and your eyes are drawn to them, or that everything about him is so hard and soft and—

you flinch away when a bird sings, or when the wind changes, or when you finally catch on to the tone of your own thoughts.

you lean back again, hating yourself for every moment that you didn’t before.

“i—“ you clear your throat. “you are. buying me things, i mean. you are.”

gojo swallows. “okay.”

“okay.”

he doesn’t look at you and you don’t look at him. the two of you pause for a moment, the silence entirely too loud.

“okay,” you repeat. “what’s it about, again?”

[cookiescribble]

Show Me How To Be Whole Again

A/N: hi everyone! This is the fic I've been working on for eight months 😮‍💨. I hope it came out as well as I hoped it would 😅 - mod angel

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: When Spencer is abducted, you rush to the team to make sure you're there when they find him. After you get home, Spencer's behavior starts to get more and more concerning, and you're desperate for answers. (based on 2x15 and the aftermath of that episode)

Word Count: 7.1k

CW: Mentions of abduction, violence, drug addiction, withdrawal, arguing. some angst in the middle but i am incapable of writing something without a happy ending.

~~~~~

The call came early in the morning. They said they called you as soon as they could. 

If you were thinking rationally, or if you could stand being alone for 5 minutes after hearing the news, maybe you would’ve stayed home. But you couldn’t stay put knowing Spencer was in trouble. 

You quickly threw a few days’ worth of clothes in a carry-on bag and took the first flight out of the nearest airport. You were trying so hard to keep yourself together and not break down crying on a crowded airplane, but the thoughts just kept rushing in your head. You were so worried about him. 

When you landed, you called the team and told them you were going to the police station and you were going to stay there until they found him. You wouldn’t let anyone argue with you. You wouldn’t be able to calm down until they found him anyway, so being anywhere else didn’t make sense. 

You didn’t really think of what you’d do when you got there. You’d just been on autopilot since you got the call. You were hoping someone would meet you there. 

When you frantically burst through the doors of the police station, JJ was standing there waiting for you. You dropped your bag and hugged her tight. 

“It was my fault,” she choked out, sobbing. “We were together and… we split up… I shouldn’t have split up…”

You shook your head vigorously. “No, no, you’re not the one who abducted him. It’s not your fault.” You were also sobbing now. You tried taking deep breaths to calm yourself, but all you could think about was what could possibly be happening to Spencer right now. 

You calmed down enough to ask, “Where is everybody else?”

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath herself. “We set up at the unsub’s house. He took Spence to a secondary location, and Garcia set up there to get to his computers.” She looked down. “I really should be getting back there.”

You nodded while she talked. “I’m coming with you,” you announced. 

She looked at you, concerned. “We can’t risk you-“

You cut her off. “I am coming with you. I’m staying with you until we find him,” you stated forcefully. 

She didn’t argue further. She could see the desperation in your eyes, you’re sure. Even someone who didn’t analyze behavior for a living could see that. “Alright. Let’s go.”

…

You arrived at the house. You couldn’t tell how long the car ride took; every second felt like an hour. 

When everybody saw you, they took turns giving you a hug. You could tell they were concerned that you were here, but they could see how devastated you were. You think they understood. 

You hung around while they all did their jobs and tried to find Spencer. You sat next to Penelope and watched as she tried to do whatever she could to help find him. 

Time passed. The team was coming in and out of the room as they needed to. Derek was probably in here the most, giving his moral support to Penelope. 

Suddenly, the monitors in front of you lit up. 

“What‘s happening?” Derek asked. 

“I… don’t know,” Penelope answered. 

Your heart dropped as an image popped up on the screen. 

It was Spencer. He was sitting in a chair, his hands tied together. He was wearing the clothes you watched him pack on the morning you last saw him. 

He looked so scared. 

���Guys! Get in here!” you heard Derek yell. 

You couldn’t look away from the screen. 

The rest of the team rushed in, faces dropping as they saw what was happening. 

Someone was talking in the background of the stream. You couldn’t hear them. Your heart was thumping so hard you could hear it in your ears. Spencer was replying to whatever they were saying. Through your loud heartbeat, you could hear his trembling voice. Your eyes started to water. 

After a few moments, you heard someone near you say something and suddenly you were being pulled away from the screen and into another room. 

When you realized what was happening, you looked up to see Hotch holding your shoulders, pushing you away from the horrific scene unfolding on the monitors. 

You started sobbing. “I have to see him,” you tried to say, but your voice was cracking. 

“No. You saw that he’s alive. That’s all you need to see.” he said firmly. He was protecting you from seeing something that would truly break you. 

You couldn’t argue. What you saw shook you to your very core; you couldn’t go back in there. You squeezed your eyes shut and nodded. “You’re going to find him and bring him back safe.” It wasn’t a question. You knew they’d find him. They had to. 

You took a step back, telling Hotch he could go back to the team in the other room, and that you were okay out here.

You sat at a table, laying your head down and covering it with your arms. You had started crying, and you couldn’t stop. How could they do this to him? He’s never done anything to hurt anybody. All he does is help people. How could someone look at him and feel anything other than warmth, comfort, and love?

You heard footsteps come into the room. The girls came in and sat around you. You picked your head up to look at them, your eyes already swollen from crying so much. 

“What happened?” you asked frantically. Your heart was racing again. 

“He’s okay,” Emily said quickly. “He’s alive. The unsub… made him choose a victim to keep alive, but there’s going to be more victims… and then the camera cut off.” She took a deep breath. “It looked like making that decision let him live.”

You buried your face in your hands. This was so cruel. you knew he dealt with bad people every day, but… this was so heartbreaking. How could someone feel so little remorse for other human beings that they force an innocent person to decide someone’s fate?

You took deep breaths to try not to cry again. “I can tell he’s in so much pain right now… He’s going to blame himself for all those people’s deaths. The guilt is going to eat him up inside. He’ll feel horrible even if he does make it out of this.”

Everyone took turns patting your back to reassure you. “He is going to make it out of this. He’ll be home soon.”

You nodded, forcing yourself to believe it. You had to believe it. If you didn’t believe it… you would break down more than you ever have before. 

…

You stayed in that room for what felt like an eternity. The team took turns keeping you company when they weren’t busy. They gave you vague updates to let you know that Spencer was still alive. They didn’t tell you details of what they saw. You didn’t ask. Seeing the somber looks on their faces told you all you needed to know.

Eventually, everyone came rushing out of the room, putting on their coats and practically running out the door. Penelope came to sit with you, her eyes wide and full of hope. “They found where he is. They’re going to him now.” She hugged you tightly. “He’s going to be okay.”

Tears leaked out of your eyes again. This time they were happy tears. The immense rush of relief you felt was enough to render you speechless for a while, until you finally choked out, “They’re going to call us when he’s safe?” She nodded eagerly and you let out a huge sigh of relief. 

The wait felt like forever. You were still nervous. What if they don’t get to him in time? What if they’re just barely too late?

Finally, finally Penelope’s phone rang. She answered quickly, nodding at what she was hearing. Eventually she hung up and looked at you, smiling. “He’s with them now. The unsub is dead. They’re rushing an ambulance but his injuries seem minor considering… what’s been happening.”

You closed your eyes and took another big sigh of relief. “I’m going to meet the ambulance there,” you declared.

Penelope looked at you quizzically. “I don’t know if-“

“You said the unsub is dead,” you cut her off. “There’s no more danger. I’m going to him.” You saw keys to one of the FBI vehicles that was left over since they had multiple people to a van. You picked them up and tossed them to Penelope. “You know their coordinates. You drive.”

She caught the keys and nodded at you, unable to argue with your logic. You both rushed out to the van and sped over to the location. 

You saw the ambulance as you arrived there. You barely waited for Penelope to put the car in park before you were running out the door to where the ambulance had parked. 

You saw Spencer sitting at the edge of the back of the ambulance with a first aid blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He was beaten up, but he was still conscious and alert. You were relieved his injuries weren’t worse. 

“Spencer!” you shouted as you ran towards him. He looked your way, his eyes widening as he saw you. 

You threw your arms around his shoulders when you reached him. His shock quickly turned to something softer as he relaxed into your arms, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

You nestled your face into his neck for a few moments, unable to stop your sobs of joy. “Oh, sweetie…” you cooed into his ear. 

He moved so his forehead was touching yours. Tears were streaking down his face. “I’m sorry…” he started. 

You shook your head vigorously. “No apologies. You’re okay now.” You kissed him on the forehead gently and threaded your fingers in his hair “Everything’s going to be okay.”

He nodded and tightened his grip on you, kissing you firmly. He kissed you for a long time before finally pulling away, resting his forehead on yours. “I love you,” he whispered.

You smiled warmly, whispering back to him. “I love you, too.”

You stayed like that for a few moments before everyone started pushing Spencer to get in the ambulance so he could go to the hospital. You rode with him, of course. You held his hand the whole way there. 

He wasn’t in the hospital for too long. They were able to treat his wounds relatively easily. The team waited in the waiting room while you followed him into the examination room. 

When you came back to the waiting room, hand in hand, everyone rushed to greet you before you all headed to the jet. 

You sat in the corner of the couch to the side of the other seats, motioning for Spencer to lay his head in your lap. He followed eagerly, curling up on his side and nestling his head in your lap. 

You ran your fingers through his curls as he began to fall asleep. He must’ve been exhausted. You couldn’t imagine him sleeping during any of that. 

You stayed like that the whole ride home, him asleep and you petting his hair softly. 

You gently woke him up when you landed. “C’mon, baby. We’re going home.”

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. You kissed his cheek before standing up, taking his hand as you went to the parking lot. He obviously wasn’t in any condition to drive, so he handed you the keys to his car and let you drive home. You insisted on stopping and getting some food on the way back. He said he didn’t feel hungry, but once he started eating, it seemed like he’d never stop. He must’ve been starving.

When you walked into your apartment, he grabbed you and hugged you tightly to his chest. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, relaxing into him. 

“I missed you so much.” He was crying again, sniffling softly. “I thought about you every waking moment. I knew I had to make it through because you were waiting for me.” He leaned down to kiss your forehead, closing his eyes and savoring the moment. 

“I missed you too,” you said quietly, looking into his eyes with a soft expression. “I knew you were going to make it back.” You hugged him tight again. “I didn’t see everything. The team… made sure I didn’t see anything that was going to hurt me.”

He nodded, leaning down to stroke your cheek gently with his thumb. “I’m glad you didn’t have to see me like that.” He touched his forehead to yours. “What matters now is that I’m here with you.” He kissed you slowly, pushing your hair out of your face. 

You kissed for a long time, slowly making your way to your bedroom. You smiled up at him after a while. “As much as I would love to continue this…” You gestured to the bed. “You need to sleep.”

As if to prove your point, he let out a quiet yawn. You smiled as he sat down at the edge of the bed. You grabbed his pajamas from the drawer and helped him get changed and settled into bed. 

He lay his head on your chest and you stroked his hair gently, just like you did the whole way home. “Go to sleep, baby,” you whispered as his eyes closed. After a moment you heard his breathing slow as he fell asleep. 

“Goodnight,” you whispered, kissing the top of his head before relaxing to fall asleep yourself.   

…

After that night, things got… bad. 

Spencer wasn’t acting like himself anymore. He was… distant. Cold. He had never acted this way towards you before. Or anyone, for that matter. 

You had never had a problem with intimacy before, but suddenly he refused to touch you. Any time you would reach for his hand, or try to put your arm around him, he’d just shrug you off of him and move away from you. It always ended in you mumbling an apology and putting some space between you. 

He never explained why he didn’t want you to touch him. In fact, he didn’t talk a whole lot anymore. You often sat in silence, completely apart from each other. You always used to be able to count on him to fill these silences, but now he just stayed quiet. 

When he did talk, he was a lot more cold to you than he used to be. You had never fought before, but now it felt like any time he talked it was to argue with you about something. It felt like he was always angry lately. 

He didn’t even like to sleep in the same bed as you anymore. Most nights, if not every night, he slept on the couch. You started begging him, telling him that you would never cross over your side of the bed, but he shrugged you off saying he just needed to be alone.

All of this was really taking a toll on you. You tried not to show it, because you knew he was going through a hard time, so you only let your feelings out in places you could be alone. Which meant you spent a lot of time crying in the bathroom.

This went on for months. You thought that, surely, he had to tell you what was going on eventually. He had never hidden anything from you before, so you didn’t really know what to do, or how to handle this. You didn’t want to push him into talking about things he didn’t want to talk about, but something was very clearly wrong. 

After a particularly bad argument one night, you couldn’t take it anymore. You had to go to someone about this. For Spencer’s sake.

The next morning, you set an extra early alarm, quietly getting dressed and tiptoeing past Spencer, who was asleep on the couch, and silently leaving your apartment. 

As you got in your car and started driving, you started arguing with yourself in your head. Part of your brain was trying to say that this wasn’t going to help, and that this was just like being a little kid and tattling to a teacher. But the emotional part of your brain was saying that just telling anyone would be able to help Spencer. And that little shred of hope was all it took to convince you to do this.

You shoved open the doors to the BAU, hoping that Spencer’s stories about his boss barely leaving his office were true. When you looked around, you saw an office with a light on, making you breathe a sigh of relief.

You bound up the stairs, knocking on the office door, a little more forcefully than you had intended. Hopefully it would help get your emotions across.

“Come in,” a familiar voice ordered. 

You took a deep breath before opening the door, seeing Hotch sitting at his desk with a bunch of paperwork in front of him. You wondered just how much paperwork this job required, and if he was always here hours before everyone else.

He looked surprised to see you. He would probably be surprised to see anyone at this early hour, but considering you don’t even work for him, he probably wouldn’t have even considered the possibility of you coming here. “Is there something I can help you with?” He asked. 

You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. You didn’t really think this far; you just figured that surely someone who works so closely with Spencer had to know something, especially since he was a profiler. 

You thought about everything that had happened in the last few months, trying to find the right words to properly articulate your concerns. But all the thoughts about Spencer pushing you away and refusing your affection, mixed with remembering what your relationship was like before that fateful night of his abduction, overwhelmed your mind so much that you just couldn’t stop your emotions flowing out. Tears welled in your eyes before starting to streak down your face. Here you were, in Hotch’s office, completely unannounced and uninvited, and you were just standing there crying.

After a few moments of crying, and of Hotch looking very concerned at this scene playing out before him, you decided it didn’t matter that you couldn’t form the perfect words. You just needed to say something. 

Through choked sobs, you finally managed to blurt out, “What’s wrong with Spencer?”

Hotch looked at you, his expression as unreadable as always. “What do you mean?”

You took a deep breath, too emotional to think about how you shouldn’t be saying all of this to your boyfriend’s boss. The words just started coming out in a rush. “Something’s wrong. We had never had a single argument before, and now the only time he ever talks to me is to pick a fight. He’s never present, he barely speaks, which I’m sure I don’t have to tell you is very strange behavior for Spencer. He never smiles anymore, he won’t let me touch him anymore, he won’t sleep in our bed anymore, he only sleeps on the couch…” 

You covered your eyes with your hands, trying to stop the tears from coming out. Finally, after some shaky breaths, you finished by saying, “I just wanted to know if there’s anything you could tell me about this. If you know why he’s acting this way. If there’s something he’s not telling me.”

Hotch hesitated before gesturing to a chair in front of his desk. “Do you want to take a seat?”

You looked at the chair, and you noticed you were shaking. You nodded, and sat down in the chair, trying to calm down. But you couldn’t help being extremely restless, your leg bouncing rapidly while you sat.

Hotch leaned forward, moving some paperwork out of the way and placing his hands on his desk. His expression was slightly softened. “Working in this field, you go through a lot of traumatic things. Reid’s abduction was one of the worst things an agent can go through.” His voice was low and steady, which was a welcome contrast to how frantic your own words had come out. “Anyone would struggle after that.”

You sighed. “I know, but-”

He raised his hand to cut you off. “That being said, we’ve all been able to tell that Reid has been a little off.” He saw you raise your eyebrow and added, “Okay, a lot off.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “We have some… theories, but we can’t know for sure what’s happening with him unless he tells us. And since he’s already struggling, we didn’t want to make it worse, especially since he’s technically just a subordinate or coworker. But if he’s not telling you either…” He looked at you sympathetically. “I’ll try to talk to him.”

You nodded, taking a deep breath. “... Thank you. Thank you so much. I’m so sorry I came here out of the blue.” You stood up, taking a step forward as if you were going to hug him, but for once your rational thoughts took over and you stayed where you were.

He stood up after you. “You’re welcome. It couldn’t have been easy to come here and talk about this.” He reached out to shake your hand, and when you shook his hand back he put his other hand over yours and spoke softly to you. “I’m going to try to get through to him. I promise.”

His gentle hands and soft-spoken words were enough to reassure you, at least for now. You nodded, thanking him again before leaving his office. You were able to leave with a lot more composure than you came here with.

It was getting late by the time you left Hotch’s office, and there were a lot more people here now. As you came down the stairs, you looked up to see Spencer staring at you. He wasn’t angry, thankfully, but he looked… kind of dumbfounded. Which made sense. You had no reason to be here at all, let alone a reason to be talking to his boss.

As you walked towards him to get to the door to leave, he turned to you. “Hey…” he started, his voice soft.

You didn’t know what to say, his soft voice sounding nothing like what you’ve been hearing these past few months. So you just kind of waved to him awkwardly, pointing to your watch to indicate that you had to get to work, and you left the BAU. 

When you got back in your car, you took a few minutes to process everything that had happened. You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to convince yourself that everything was okay. You believed Hotch when he said he’d help. It felt like Spencer was in capable hands.

…

Later that day, you had been in the bathroom when Spencer came home, and you didn’t hear the door open and close. When you came out, you saw him standing awkwardly in the front of your apartment. It made you jump a little bit. “Hi… I didn’t know you were home,” you muttered awkwardly.

He stood there looking at you, his eyes moving a little as if he was thinking of what to say. After a few moments, instead of saying anything, he walked over to you and hugged you, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist.

You just froze for a moment, not sure how to react. But he kept his tight hold on you, as if you were the only thing keeping him up right now, and you finally started to hug him back just as tightly. You both just stood like that for a few minutes, holding each other.

Finally, he spoke up. His voice was soft, barely a whisper, and he sounded so fragile. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He was starting to cry now, making soft sobbing sounds into your shoulder.

Hearing him cry broke something in you, and shortly you were also in tears. “Oh, Spence…” You squeezed him a little tighter, rubbing soothing circles on his back. “It’s okay…”

He sniffled and shook his head, pulling back a little so he could look you in the eyes. “My behavior has been abhorrent lately. I’ve been struggling, and I’ve been bottling everything up. I didn’t realize just how much this was hurting you.” He took a deep breath, trying to keep up with his thoughts. “I guess I figured, if I didn’t tell you about my problems, then they couldn’t affect you. But I was wrong. It just made it worse.”

You looked at him sadly, one of your hands moving to gently stroke his hair. “You can always come to me with anything. I’ll always try to help you. You know that.”

Some more tears started falling down his cheeks, and you started to wipe them away with your thumb. “I guess I felt like… I didn’t deserve the help.” He took a few shaky breaths as he tried to calm down. “Like I didn’t deserve you being so nice to me.”

“Spencer…” you started, trying to make your voice sound as soothing as possible. “What’s wrong? What’s so bad that you can’t tell me?”

He closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. “I… I don’t know if I can talk about it yet. But I promise I’ll tell you soon.” He looked at you determinedly. “Until then, I promise I’m going to try to be better to you.” As if to prove his point, he grabbed your face and captured your lips in a soft kiss, making your heart flutter.

After years of dating, you didn’t think you’d feel that flustered, shy feeling of butterflies in your stomach again. But, after these past few months of having no physical contact, this kiss almost felt like it was your first kiss all over again.

You couldn’t help but hold the back of his head to try to bring his face even closer to yours. You were craving his touch, and you needed his affection. On the off chance that this was a one-time thing, and that he would start to distance himself again after this, you figured you had to make it last.

He showed no signs of letting up, though, moving you both so you were laying on the couch, with him hovering over you. His lips never left yours the whole time, and his hands were moving around your face as if he was trying to remember what it felt like. 

He broke the kiss to look at you, before closing his eyes. His hands trailed from your face down to your neck, moving slightly under your shirt to your shoulders. He wasn’t just touching you, he was feeling you. As if feeling your skin would jog his memory of you. His breathing was soft and even as his hands moved down to your hips, his fingers gentle and slow on your waist as he started to lift your shirt up. 

Your breath hitched when you felt cold air suddenly hit your stomach. “Spence…” you spoke quietly, a soft blush on your face. 

He looked at you, his voice quick and reassuring. “I don’t want to do anything like… that. It would be a little too much for me right now.” He quickly flashed you that awkward little smile he had sometimes. “I just want to see you, to feel you.” His voice went a little quieter when he added, “I missed you.”

You looked at him sadly, reaching up to touch his face. “I missed you, too.” You leaned in to kiss him again. “I missed you so much.”

The soft, slow kissing resumed, and Spencer very carefully pulled your shirt over your head, his hands gently gliding over the newly exposed skin. You let out a dreamy sigh. You hadn’t realized just how touch starved you had been over these past few months. This is exactly what you had been needing. 

You just stayed on the couch like that for a while, his lips and hands on you, the gentlest of touches. After a little while longer, you started to unbutton his shirt, because you wanted to do the same to him.

He completely froze, sucking in a breath. You immediately pulled your hands away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” You trailed off, worried that you just ruined any progress that had been made tonight. 

He shook his head, sitting up and pulling you up with him. “It’s okay, I just… I don’t want you to see me with my shirt off.” He looked at you with pleading eyes, as if he was begging you not to ask about it. 

You hesitated, but instead of asking about it you tried to be a little more lighthearted. “I’ve seen you without a shirt plenty of times, Spencer.” 

He gave you a slight smile before the worried look came back to his face. “I just…” he started, “I can’t right now. Please understand.”

You nodded, taking his hand and giving it a slight squeeze. “I understand.” You stroked his hand gently with your thumb. “I’m not going to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. You can trust me.”

He squeezed your hand back, giving you another little smile. “I know you won’t. I do trust you.” He let out a little yawn and started to rub his eyes. 

You looked at the clock, not realizing how late it had gotten. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” You leaned over to kiss his forehead. “You should get some sleep.”

You worried he would still insist on sleeping on the couch, but he just nodded, his hand still tightly holding yours as you both stood up and walked to your bedroom. He grabbed his pajamas and headed to the bathroom to change.

You sat on the bed and watched him for a few moments before he closed the door. You started to get dressed yourself, wondering what this problem was about. He had been a little shy around you when you two first started getting intimate, but you thought he had gotten over that. Had these past few months apart made the shyness come back?

Your thoughts were interrupted by Spencer coming back into the room. You stood up so he could get in bed. He looked so tired; you could see just how bad the dark circles under his eyes were.

He crawled under the covers, curling up and closing his eyes. You got in the other side of the bed, gently rubbing his back to soothe him. You didn’t want to push any boundaries, so you pulled away after just a moment.

He turned around, looking at you with those big eyes of his, and grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers together. He closed his eyes again, taking a deep breath, as if soothed by your touch. You smiled softly. He looked more peaceful than you had seen him in a long time. It made it easier to close your eyes and relax.

It was silent for a while, and you thought he had fallen asleep. But then, you heard him speak very softly. “I love you.”

You opened your eyes to see him looking back at you. You squeezed his hand gently. “I love you too.” You leaned in and kissed his forehead, making him smile. “Get some sleep. I can tell you need it,” you whispered.

He nodded and closed his eyes again, moving a little closer to you before wrapping his arms around you and nestling his head in your neck. You hesitated for a moment in shock before cradling him in your arms. You kissed the top of his head. “Goodnight, baby,” you whispered to him. Soon, you could hear his breathing soften, and you just listened to the quiet sounds of him sleeping for a few more moments before falling asleep yourself.

…

Things didn’t magically get better after that, but they did improve. 

Spencer went back to sleeping in your bed, though he seemed to have a hard time sleeping nowadays. He was always tossing and turning, and you usually woke up in the middle of the night to either try to soothe him to sleep or to keep him company when he couldn’t sleep. 

There was a lot more talking, and a lot less fighting. You could have more comfortable conversations, and he would politely tell you when he didn’t feel like talking. It was a lot better than him yelling at you to leave him alone. 

There was still some arguing, but usually only when you were trying to get him to eat. He was always saying he wasn’t hungry, and you had to try to push to get him to eat, saying he needed some kind of nutrition. Sometimes he would snap at you, saying he would eat if he was hungry and that he didn’t push you when you didn’t want to eat. He’d always apologize, though, and try his best to explain that he was either feeling nauseous or he just didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. It seemed to get a little better after a few days.

He didn’t mind a little more physical contact. He wasn’t always up for it, but he didn’t seem to mind it as much. It was always trial and error, almost like trying to pet a skittish cat. You’d start by putting a gentle hand on his, and he’d tense up for a second, and he’d either pull away and explain he didn’t want to be touched, or he’d take your hand and hold it gently. A big improvement. It was just little touches: holding hands, an arm around his shoulder, a hug… it never went past that.

He didn’t talk about what it was that was bothering him at first, but you trusted that he would tell you when he was ready. After about a week, he was finally ready to talk about it.

…

You both were sitting on the couch, in one of your quiet moments. You were reading a book, like you usually did when Spencer felt like being quiet. The silences were starting to get more comfortable, making it easier to just do quiet activities next to each other.

After a few minutes, Spencer cleared his throat, making you look over at him. You bookmarked the page you were on and turned to him. “What is it?”

He hesitated, as if he wasn’t sure how to start this conversation. He closed his eyes for a moment to put his thoughts together, before opening them again to look at you. He spoke very softly.

“When I was…” he started, swallowing and taking a deep breath to compose himself before continuing, “... When I was abducted for those few days back in February, a lot happened. The man who took me had dissociative identity disorder, and dealing with all his personalities was difficult. But there was one of his personalities that was… nicer than the others. More helpful than harmful.” He closed his eyes again, and you knew this was really hard for him to talk about. You placed a gentle hand over his, and he let out a breath, grabbing your hand and giving it a squeeze. He continued on, his voice still soft and sad.

“Unfortunately, one of the ways that he helped me was to… give me something to help numb the pain the others were causing.” He closed his eyes again, and he slowly rolled up his sleeves for you to see his arms.

You stared in shock. His arms were covered in needle marks. You covered your mouth. “Oh, Spencer…” You looked back up at his face, but his eyes were squeezed shut, as if he didn’t want to face this. You squeezed his hand to let him know you were here to support him.

“He would come to me saying Dilaudid helped with the pain, and after a few times, it started to feel… good.” He took another deep breath, his eyes still closed. “After he died, I took the bottles he still had. And when things started getting hard to handle… all the flashbacks and memories of what happened to me, I just needed to numb myself. And it worked, for a while. But eventually, I just… couldn’t stop.”

“Spencer…” you started, your voice gentle. “You could’ve come to me, I could’ve tried to help you-”

“I didn’t want that,” he cut you off. “I tried to convince myself that what I was doing wasn’t wrong. That it was just medicine that was helping me. But, obviously, I knew that wasn’t the truth. And I knew that if I told anyone about it, they would say I needed help. But I didn’t want help. I just wanted to live in this unrealistic world where everything I was doing was fine.” He finally opened his eyes to look at you. “That’s why I was lashing out. I didn’t want anyone to help me, and I also felt like I didn’t deserve anyone being nice to me.”

He looked at you very seriously. “I thought, if I didn’t tell you any of this, it couldn’t hurt you. I know how sensitive you are to other people’s emotions and problems, so I figured if I didn’t tell you, you couldn’t worry about me. Obviously, I was wrong, and that was a naive way of thinking.” He reached out and gently touched your face. “When I saw you at the BAU, I knew it was because you were worried about me, and I saw that you looked like you had been crying. And it just snapped me out of this false reality I had created for myself. And that’s when I came home and apologized, because I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t keep hurting you.”

You listened to him silently while he talked, letting him get out everything he needed to say before responding. “Why didn’t you tell me that day? Or the few days after that? Why did you wait until now?”

He nodded as if he was waiting for this question. “I read that withdrawal symptoms peak within 12-48 hours, and that it usually takes 5-7 days for the symptoms to resolve. So I wanted to wait out those 7 days just to make sure.”

You gave him a sad look. “But if I knew you were having withdrawal symptoms, I could have helped you. I really wish you would have told me.”

He sighed. “I wanted to do it on my own. To prove to myself that I could do it. That I wasn’t just going to quit halfway through and relapse.”

You nodded sympathetically. “Well, I’m really glad you told me now. We can get through this together.” You gave his hand a little pat. “You know this isn’t the end of it, right? It’s not just over when withdrawal symptoms stop. You still need to work out these issues that made you start this in the first place.”

He nodded. “I know. I want to try to get help now. I… I think I’m ready. I want to look into going to therapy, and maybe some support groups if I need them.” He squeezed your hand again. “I know I can make it through this, because I know you’ll be by my side.”

You smiled softly at him. “I’ll always be by your side.” Your hand trailed up his arms, looking back at the needle marks. “Do they… hurt?” you asked softly.

He shrugged. “Only when they first appear. They don’t hurt right now.”

You nodded, and you gently touched the marks on his arm. You looked at him, and you slowly brought his arm up so you could give every little mark a gentle kiss, to let him know that everything was going to get better soon.

He looked at you with big, loving eyes, and he started tearing up a bit. He pulled you in for a tight hug, sniffling as he buried his face in your neck. “I love you so much,” he said with a shaky voice.

You held him tight, rubbing his back to comfort him. “I love you too, Spence. Everything is going to be okay.” Your voice was calm and soothing. “I’m here now.”

…

Things started to get much better after that. Spencer was way more comfortable telling you when things were feeling more difficult than usual. Typically, it would be when he came home from a particularly emotional case. You were always there to hold him and to soothe him. There was no more aversion to your touch or need for extended silences. He felt comfortable in your arms, and he knew he could talk to you when something was bothering him.

He started seeing a therapist, and you always went there with him. Usually, you just sat outside the office for his sessions so he could have the one-on-one help he needed. Sometimes, if he was having a particularly rough week, he would bring you in with him for extra support. And you were always there when he needed you.

It took a bit of time, but you learned how to help with whatever he needed you for. If he needed a distraction, you could always come up with some activity to get his mind off of things. You played a lot of board games, and started learning to bake so you could just pull out a new recipe to try and he could focus on getting everything just right. When he just needed someone to listen to him, or a shoulder to cry on, you didn’t mind being that person for him. And sometimes he just wanted to be held, saying that the physical touch grounded him. You were always happy to hold him. 

Over time, things got easier and easier to deal with. Eventually, things seemed to be fully back to normal. You both knew that this was always going to be a struggle that could come back, but you knew how to handle it now, and you were certain that you could get through any struggle that ever tried to get in your way.

[whatdoidosatoru]

lost souls (ran haitani x reader)

pairing: best friend!ran haitani x reader wc: 8.8k ao3 i always use first person, sorry if that's a bit weird, but i'd rather shoot myself than write in second person. also there's no use of y/n. you're welcome. tags: soulmate behaviour, fluff, eventual smut, a bit of sexual harassment (creep in a club), hanma being a menace, shion being a lil weirdo, izana kurokawa, insane amounts of flirting, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, missionary position, unprotected sex, creampie, actually very vanilla sex tbh, but they're cute to me

MINORS PLEASE FUCK OFF! 18+!!

When your best friend invites you to the club with the promise of free drinks, it wouldn’t be very wise to decline. He was a bit disappointed as I was running late, but he wasn’t making a fuss. He understood me better than anyone and knew I needed time to prepare for the amount of socialising I’d inevitably have to do..especially since he entertained a lot of people.

Ran Haitani was lounging around the VIP area with two women in his arms and at least one drink in hand, waiting for me.

When I’d finally got ready, I made my way to the club, freezing my ass off in the shortest, tightest dress I could find in my wardrobe. Now that I got here, I realised it was showing too much thigh and it had a stupid, stupid neckline.

I made a quick stop at the bar to get a few drinks to warm up before locating Ran. A large hand waved at the bartender to put my drinks on his tab, and the face accompanying the hand wasn’t too bad to look at, but I politely explained that I was meeting up with someone. 

He didn’t like the sound of rejection, instead, he tried to get me to sit on his lap. I struggled against him, and nobody around me was willing to step in and help. 

“Hey buddy, leave her alone.” Ran sauntered over, making the creep at the bar back away immediately as he recognised who was commanding him. Ran then turned to me, and, with a caring expression on his face, looked me over to see how I was feeling.

“Are you okay?”

I let my hands wander over Ran’s body possessively to scare off any potential assholes that could want to try the same shit with me. He let me do this because it wasn’t our first rodeo, he had, unfortunately, had to swoop in to save me from multiple situations much like the one that had just unfolded. I looked up at my saviour with a wide smile.

“Cheers, Ran. Just in time.”

Ran chuckled softly, enjoying the feel of my hands on his body. He knew I needed him and he was more than ready to help me. We clinked our glasses and he raised an eyebrow playfully.

“Always saving the day, aren’t I?” He took a sip of his drink, watching me intently over the rim of his glass.

I smirked as I looked up at him, my hand withdrawing from his chest.

“My knight in shining gang uniform. How’s the night been going without me?”

Ran laughed, seemingly enjoying the nickname. Despite having a great time partying with his friends earlier, he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing without me around. He leaned down close to my ear and whispered,

“It’s always better when you show up.” He gently brushed some stray strands of hair behind my ear and added, “But I managed to have fun nonetheless.”

With a mischievous glint in his eye he continued, “Now that you’re here, though…let me introduce you to these lovely ladies I met tonight.”

He gestured towards the two women who had been sitting beside him in the VIP lounge.

I approached the women enthusiastically, sitting right next to them. I could tell they were wondering who the hell I was, and if I was there to chase after influential men and use their influence for my gain. While I respected the grind, most of those men were absolute bastards and dealing with them was a fucking pain and a full-time job. But my best friend was not one of those men.

I introduced myself to the women and started a conversation.

“...I’m Ran’s best friend, yeah. Oh, by the way, I love your lipstick, you have to tell me what shade that is…”

The conversation was casual and Ran sat across from us, observing over his drink. He watched me effortlessly charm these two women, making them feel comfortable and appreciated. He couldn’t help but smile proudly at my ability to connect with people easily. As the conversation flowed smoothly, he noticed one of the women discreetly slipping her phone number onto a napkin and sliding it towards me.

Feeling slightly amused by this turn of events, he leaned back in his chair and took another sip of his drink, waiting for my reaction. I put the napkin into my purse, exchanging a wink with the woman. I kept chatting with them, getting warmer in my too-tight, too-short dress and I could feel the VIP waiters appreciating the hug it had on my curves with their lingering eyes. I winked at one of the waiters who immediately grinned and came over to offer me a drink.

Ran observed the scene as it unfolded before him, feeling a mix of amusement and pride. He knew I was enjoying myself and that was enough to make him happy. As the waiter handed me the drink, Ran caught his eye briefly and gave him a subtle nod of approval.

Despite being surrounded by attractive women vying for his attention, Ran remained focused on the conversation with the two ladies from before. However, he couldn’t help but steal glances at me throughout the evening, admiring my charm from afar.

I ended up getting up and dancing in the corner with the woman who gave me her number. Luckily for me, I had decided against heels tonight and instead wore my platform Vans. They dressed down any fancy outfit, but not enough to stop the attention being poured over me. They did, however, make me shorter than anyone else in the room, especially Ran. So it was comical to see him join us for a dance, seeing the height difference between us. He always thought it was cute, but in comparison with the other women who came up to us, I felt physically out of place.

The waiter came back with another drink so I took it and put the straw into my mouth to bite it before taking a sip. Seeing that, Ran playfully suggested that maybe it was time for someone else to have a turn serving us. Looking directly at the waiter, Ran challenged him,

“My best friend over here seems like she needs an experienced partner to keep up with her moves.”

By the time the poor man overcame his shock at the challenge, Ran’s gaze had already found mine and he extended his hand in an invite.

“Shall we show them how it’s done?”

I loved seeing this side of Ran, so I put on my finest grin and took his hand, letting him twirl me multiple times in a row before snatching me mid-spin and dipping me so everything around me was upside-down. My choice of footwear allowed for more movement, even if the dress restricted me. Ran picked me back up and slid a hand down my side, squeezing my thigh slightly.

“People are watching,” I said with a giggle.

“Let them,” he whispered, shaking his head.

With that, he grabbed my hips and led the dance. As he spun me around the dance floor, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of exhilaration. My infectious laughter, paired with energetic movements, only fueled his desire to impress me further. As people began to watch in awe, he simply tightened his grip on my waist and continued leading the dance with confidence.

When the song ended, Ran pulled away slightly but maintained contact through gentle touches along my arms and sides. He took hold of my hand once again and led me back to our table where the two ladies were eagerly awaiting our return.

One of the ladies leaned in to whisper something in my ear, to which I chuckled and kissed her on the cheek. I sat next to her and kept chatting, seeing the other woman trying to grab Ran’s attention and the waiter standing around awkwardly, making it obvious that he was trying to get a chance to be near me. I glanced at Ran, but his eyes were already on me, and in that moment I was reminded of all the amazing times we had had together until now.

Running off from his gang meetings only to hide when his brother went looking for us. Running around our neighbourhood in the rain without umbrellas. Impromptu karaoke sessions, both at his apartment and in karaoke bars, singing along to What’s New Scooby Doo together. Cooking elaborate ramen soups at two in the morning with only half the ingredients from the recipes, but with all the enthusiasm. He really was my soulmate, my other half, my best friend in the entire world.

I gave him a grin, fixed my dress, and looked back at the woman puffing her chest in front of me.

Ran watched as I engaged in conversation with her, other people’s attempts to gain his attention gone unnoticed. Despite being surrounded by beautiful women and potential romantic interests, he couldn’t help but feel a deep connection with me - one that transcended mere friendship or physical attraction.

There was a commotion as another man entered the VIP lounge, one of Ran’s gang buddies, whose eyes fell on the gathering we had going on and his lips stretched into an excited grin. He sat down next to me, seemingly not recognising me, and put his arm around me, pulling me closer despite my raised eyebrow at his sudden closeness. 

Ran noticed the way this man’s hand possessively rested around my waist and he couldn’t help but feel a surge of protectiveness rise within him. Although he trusted most of his friends, there was still an underlying sense of territorial instinct that kicked in whenever someone encroached upon my personal space.

So he did the only thing he saw fit at the moment - he moved closer to me on the other side - effectively sandwiching me between them both. This move wasn’t necessarily meant to be a challenge or a confrontation. Rather, it served as a subtle reminder that, while others might try to vie for my attention, there would always be someone who knew how special I was, someone I always went back to. 

I rolled my eyes at the other man pulling me closer to him, the woman had already up and left the couch to sit down next to her friend on the other side as Ran replaced her next to me. I placed my bare legs over Ran’s lap, leaning slightly into the other man’s embrace.

“Shion, didn’t anyone ever tell you to ask before putting your hands on other people?” 

I teased him, but I put all the power I could into my voice. His eyebrows furrowed before his eyes widened in shock. He stumbled over his words, but still didn’t withdraw his hand from me as he muttered,

“Shit sorry I didn’t recognise you!”

I giggled and leaned into his side some more, my legs still resting over Ran’s lap, his hands sliding up and down them.

“Well, Shion, how about you let me go now, hm?”

Ran watched the scene unfold with a mixture of amusement and concern. He knew Shion well enough to understand that his intentions were likely harmless, but he also recognised the importance of respecting boundaries - especially when it came to someone as important to him as me.

As I gently scolded Shion for his lack of tact, Ran felt a swell of pride at my assertiveness and composure in handling the situation. Despite feeling somewhat territorial over me, he remained calm and collected, trusting that I would handle myself accordingly. With a reassuring squeeze on my thigh, Ran offered an encouraging smile before speaking up.

“Hey bud, maybe give her some space? She seems pretty comfortable right here next to me anyway.”

I pushed myself off Shion’s chest and met Ran’s forehead against mine in a gentle gesture of the bond we shared.

“Listen to your friend, Shion. And next time - if you get a next time - ask before touching me, ‘kay?” I said that with my most polite smile, but he knew I meant business. 

He moved to the other couch to give the other women some attention, even though one of them kept her gaze on me the entire time. The waiter stood there awkwardly, watching as I pushed myself up onto Ran’s lap and leaned into his chest, his hands immediately resting on my thighs and mine on his back from where I winked at the waiter just to get him flustered.

Ran was savouring the warmth and familiarity of my embrace and, in moments like these, he was reminded why he cherished our friendship above all else. Despite the chaos surrounding us in the VIP lounge, there was a sense of peace and tranquillity whenever we were together.

I called over the waiter and took his notepad, writing down my order, following it with a little heart and an apology for all our behaviours tonight. I knew he must’ve been insanely nervous dealing with Tenjiku gang members, especially two of the Four Heavenly Kings. As soon as I finished writing, I flashed him a smile, and he left for the bar to give the bartender our order. 

As he left, Hanma’s tall figure walked up to the lounge and approached the couch where Ran and I were sitting, situating himself where Shion had been sitting next to me.

I rolled my eyes at his closeness, but I didn’t mind him too much, we had our banter. Hanma leaned in to place a kiss on my cheek and I pinched his left cheek with my fingers. His hand went to my shoulder and started pulling my body down to lie on my back and place my head on his lap. I let it happen as his tattooed hands started stroking my hair soothingly. 

Ran observed this interaction with a mix of curiosity and amusement. While he knew that my relationship with each member of their gang was unique, it was always interesting for him to see how all these different personalities interacted when in such close proximity.

When Hanma kissed my cheek, Ran felt a pang of jealousy, not because he wanted to claim ownership over me, but rather due to the fact that he wished he could offer the same level of comfort and intimacy with no strings attached.

Shion returned to Ran’s side and they struck up a casual conversation. It was clear that, despite all the chaos surrounding them tonight, these men still found solace in each other’s company, united by loyalty and camaraderie amidst a sea of strangers vying for their attention.

One of Hanma’s hands went through my hair while the other tentatively touched my thigh. It took exactly one raised eyebrow from me to make him reconsider this move, immediately pulling his hand off my thigh and offering me an apologetic smile as the strokes on my hair continued. He knew my limits with him, even though he regularly liked to test them.

The women on the other couch seemed engrossed in the situation unfolding in front of their eyes. How did this random girl in a too-tight, too-short dress and fucking Vans, for crying out loud, have these three powerful and dangerous men dancing to her tune and wrapped around her finger?

I lifted my head to whisper into Hanma’s ear, something that made him grin wider than before as he stood up and, pressing another kiss into my cheek, maybe a little too close to my lips for my liking, went over to the other couch, sitting in the middle and letting the women flock to him with a grateful smile directed at me.

I sat up in Ran’s lap once again and leaned into his chest, continuing the cuddle we had had going on before Hanma arrived. I could tell by his breathing that my attention being directed at him once more made him relax as his arms wrapped around my waist like he was holding onto a lifeline amid a storm.

Shion walked over to Ran and spoke to him in a hushed voice, by the tension in Ran’s body I could tell it was work-related. My ears twitched at the exchange, but it was none of my business until he made it my business to take part in any of their gang bullshit.

I had only taken part in two of their missions, both times as eye candy for some of their rivals or partners who had a weakness for women of my body type and liked to extend their welcome to a few wandering looks and touches. After both of those missions, Ran would spend a whole day with me and under me, lying on his bed wrapped up in each other, with him apologising profusely, nearly scraping the floor with the depth of his bow, almost sobbing with guilt at how the other men had approached me, even though I had willingly chosen to take part in the mission.

I placed a kiss on his neck to signal I was there for him; despite the closeness of my entire body on his lap, I liked reminding him of my presence with gentle kisses to his neck. Shion glanced at the exchange and raised his eyebrow, to which I just smirked mischievously. Hanma was enjoying himself with all the attention he was receiving on the couch, though I couldn’t help but call out to him to remind him of manners.

“Remember to be respectful, Shuji, unless you want me to come over there and teach you another lesson.”

I said that with a joking threat, but if he was good at anything, it was turning anything I said out loud into a joke for himself.

“Oh, you know I’d love nothing more than for you to…teach me another lesson.” He followed with a wink in my direction so I let out a hearty laugh at his boldness.

Despite the lighthearted nature of my interactions with the other gang members, Ran knew better than to underestimate the depth of my loyalty and commitment to those closest to me - especially him. He couldn’t help himself so he let out a deep chuckle at the wave of pride that washed over him at noticing how nobody really dared cross the line with me once I had drawn it.

Ran Haitani silently vowed once again never to let anything jeopardize what truly mattered most: protecting those who meant everything to him - starting with me.

I nestled myself closer in Ran’s lap while he exchanged playful banter with Shion, showing everyone who my number one was - everything else came after him.

As Hanma made the other women laugh while they examined his tattooed hands with awe across the glass coffee table, more people filed into the VIP lounge. Most notably, Izana Kurokawa, the Tenjiku leader. All three men in my company immediately stood up and bowed, I slid off Ran’s lap, but he held onto my hand and squeezed it in apology for the abrupt dismissal at the arrival of their boss. Izana dismissed them to sit back down and nodded at me, in exchange for a bright smile on my face.

He beckoned me to join him at the booth in the corner of the lounge and I nodded, rubbing Ran’s hand with my thumb as I broke contact to join their leader.

I sat next to him like he asked, knowing better than to challenge him. He indulged in small talk with me, like he often did, asking me about my day and telling me about the delicious food he had eaten that day.

I complimented the way his hair fell forward today and fixed a few flyaways with a gentle touch to which he gratefully smiled, tilting his head to the side as his earrings clicked while he did so. 

He leaned in to kiss my cheek, a lot more polite than Hanma did. I rubbed his arm to show my appreciation for his wanting to spend a little time with me, our conversations always brought him a sense of normality in his very abnormal life where everyone expected something from him.

I stood up from the booth and sauntered over to Ran once again as the waiter brought Izana his drink, I pulled Ran to his feet and dragged him to the dance floor again.

As the music played its hypnotic rhythm, he effortlessly matched my pace step-for-step, allowing both physical proximity and emotional vulnerability between us without reservation or hesitation. Our world revolved solely around this fleeting moment suspended in time - a temporary sanctuary from reality, where all worries melted away under the weightless pressure of love and companionship.

We danced oblivious to everything except for the steady beat resonating through our beings, our hearts beating as one in perfect harmony.

As the beat changed into one more energetic than the last, we shared a wide-eyed look, recognising the song. It was one of the modern pop songs with a very catchy tune, but instead of dancing accordingly to it, we had made it a tradition to always slow dance to it. Ran jokingly bowed at the waist and extended a hand to me with sweet words.

“My lady?”

To that I curtsied and took his hand with an exaggerated, high-pitched voice.

“Don’t mind if I do, kind sir.”

He pulled me into his chest and we stood embraced, closer than some would think physically possible, swaying out of rhythm completely, along to some music only playing in our two minds. Our tradition made Shion and Hanma audibly groan and roll their eyes, Hanma exclaiming, “Here they fucking go again, I swear if I have to see…” 

The rest of his annoyance completely blended with the noise around us, nothing else existed apart from us. The women in the lounge and Izana looked at us with pleasant smiles, appreciating the gentle gesture they saw before them as there were far too few of those in the world.

And so we swayed gently out of sync with the rhythm pulsating around us. As the song ended, we pulled back a little, smiling at each other. Ran placed a soft kiss on my forehead. Hanma booed from the corner of the room, making me shout back, not moving my head from Ran’s chest.

“Shuji if I hear one more sentence out of your damn mouth that doesn’t end in ‘my queen’ I will step on you!”

I fixed him with a stare, but in true Hanma fashion, he switched to a cocky smile and retorted.

“How did you know I wanted you to step on me…” 

When Ran raised an eyebrow at him he finished the sentence.

“...my queen.”

I rolled my eyes at him and went up to the waiter.

“What’s a girl gotta do to get some fries in here?”

I flashed him a polite smile. I could tell he was nervous, even more so than before, since Izana showed up, sitting in his booth and drinking wine from a pint glass, scrolling on his phone and ignoring a million notifications he was receiving. The waiter winked at me and with a smile disappeared into the kitchen to ask the staff there for fries and some ketchup on the side.

When he brought me the fries, I blew him a kiss and sat at the bar on the high stools, taking one bite at a time, savouring the crispy exterior and the softness of the interior of each individual fry. Hanma walked up behind me and hugged me tight, apologising for taunting me earlier. I smiled up at his towering figure and pushed his face away from mine as he got too close, but kept our playful banter. He grabbed a few fries from the bowl in front of me and gave me a kiss on the forehead before leaving me to enjoy my food.

The ladies from before came up to me from both sides with wide eyes.

“Girl…how?!”

They wanted to know how I got all these men in the palm of my hand. How even Izana, the notorious Tenjiku leader himself asked for my company, allowed me to touch his hair, smiled all friendly, and thanked me for indulging in small talk with him. I shrugged and explained that I had been lucky to be in the right place at the right time to meet Ran, everything else came with the inexplicable bond we shared. I told them that they needed one good person on their side, someone to support them as I had the freedom to make myself cold to handle anyone else with the firmness they deserved. 

To emphasize my point I motioned Hanma over to join me. When he sat next to me, smiling, I leaned in as if I was going to whisper into his ear, but I just hiccuped, covered my mouth and started laughing with him. He tried tousling my hair, but I stopped his large hand from approaching and pushed it away. He stood up, hugged me tight, and muttered.

“Just using me for your own entertainment…I see how it is.”

With that, he left me alone with the women, their jaws nearly slacked open.

As the laughter subsided from the bar, Ran felt a sense of satisfaction bubbling within him at witnessing my easygoing rapport with not only his fellow gang members but also complete strangers who had found themselves drawn to my presence. Despite my constant casual dismissal of my own abilities to navigate this world, chalking it up to sheer luck, there was something he found undeniably captivating about the way I carried myself around others - a quiet confidence that spoke volumes without a single utterance.

It wasn’t long before Hanma rejoined the group, still reeling from my playful antics earlier on, but instead of appearing annoyed or frustrated by my teasing, he simply accepted it as part and parcel of being in my close proximity.

We continued conversing late into the night - sharing stories, trading jokes, and cementing bonds that ran deeper than most could ever comprehend.

As I made my way through the fries, Ran sat down next to me, causing a big smile to appear on my face, the one reserved for his presence only. He picked up a fry and we touched them together, a toast of some kind. We bit the tops of our respective fries and then we switched hands to feed the rest to each other. 

He told me the plans for the next mission, begging me not to ask Izana to make me part of it since it might require a feminine touch to succeed. Ran was hoping to avoid my involvement again, he’d rather me not have to deal with people touching me, even if the mission could be jeopardised. 

I reassured him I would only accept if there was no other way of doing it, and he seemed okay enough with that promise.

When we finished the portion of fries, we transferred back to the couch, settling comfortably into plush cushions, my body in his lap. I snuggled into his chest, my lips trailing his neck in reassuring gestures. 

I inevitably felt the tiredness of spending the whole day on my feet as the energy expelled at the club enveloped me. Ran immediately noticed and got me off his lap to stand up. He picked up my purse and, with his hand on the small of my back, led me to the exit, stopping only to explain to Shion that he was taking me home.

As we were making our way to the exit, I noticed that guy who had harassed me at the bar at the beginning of the night - he was now trying to touch up another woman who didn’t seem too keen on keeping him company. Ran followed my line of sight and noticed what I was frowning at. He made his way towards the man who stopped his wandering hands at the sight of Ran’s kind face, sometimes genuine, sometimes hiding the absolute boiling rage inside him.

Ran picked up the man’s hand and snapped it backwards, breaking his wrist. He turned to the woman and apologised she had to witness that, wishing her a better continuation of the night as he made his way back to me, flinging an arm around my shoulder and cackling along with me as we walked out into the cold night air.

When we reached Ran’s car, he opened the door for me before going to the driver’s side. He let me pick the music for our ride to his apartment. By now it was an unspoken rule that I sleep over at his place on Friday nights after we go clubbing. Neither one of us wanted to be out without one another any longer than necessary, so it was only logical that we go home together.

I put my favourite song on for the ride, both of us belting out the lyrics as Ran drove through almost nonexistent traffic at this time of night. We shared an unbreakable connection forged through countless nights spent navigating Tokyo's vibrant club scene side by side. And while neither of us had ever explicitly stated it out loud, there was no denying the fact that we cherished these peaceful interludes just as much as (if not more than) the wild parties themselves.

As we arrived at the garage, Ran leaned over the console to give me a kiss on the forehead before swinging out of the car and nearly running over to my side to open the door for me. We walked up to his apartment where I immediately went into the bathroom, grabbing the basket with my skincare items to take off my makeup and cleanse my face.

I emerged from the bathroom and noticed that Ran had made us cups of tea with honey - another thing we often indulged in after nights out. I usually picked hibiscus while he drank green tea.

He had already got himself comfortable, changing into his pyjamas which consisted of nothing but old sweatpants that I had bought him when he stayed over at my place for the first time ever. I revisited that memory fondly, taking in his naked torso, his tattoo visible in all its glory. 

I took the pot of moisturiser from the basket of toiletries and brought it over to him. I was the designated person to keep his tattoo vibrant and moisturised by slathering it in moisturiser about once a week. I took my role very seriously.

We walked over to the couch, where I pulled my dress off, with his help, and threw it into his bedroom through the door that had been left slightly ajar. I took the oversized t-shirt that he had taken out of his wardrobe for me and put it on over the top, reaching under it to unclasp my bra and shrug it off under the t-shirt, landing it on top of the dress.

I sat on Ran’s lap on the couch, once again, this time with a completely different energy between us, and took a bit of the moisturiser, starting from the top of his shoulder downwards, covering all his ink in a glossy layer.

Despite our vastly different backgrounds and personalities, there was no denying that something profound connected us on a level far beyond mere friendship. Was it fate? Destiny? Or were we simply two lost souls seeking solace in each other's arms amidst the chaos of Tokyo's criminal underworld? Whatever the answer was, one thing remained abundantly clear: this unlikely alliance had transformed into something far deeper and more meaningful than either of us could have ever imagined.

And so we sat together - two beings united by circumstance, driven by an insatiable desire for adventure, passion, and most importantly, comfort. We found comfort in each other in every way. Be it through defending each other from people who had no business being close to us or sharing secret knowledge in big crowds…even intimate moments like this one. We knew each other better than anyone else, these moments were completely ours, with nobody interrupting, nobody watching.

Ran reached over to hold my waist and steady me as I reached lower on his body to finish my treatment of his inked skin. I felt my face redden a little, though it did not make me falter in my practised movements whatsoever. When it was done, I spread what was left of the cream on his face, to which he made a face of feign-annoyance, as he did every single time I did this.

His eyes traced my body’s curves, my skin was tightening under his touch and gaze.

Ran knew that, beneath my playful exterior, there lay a fierce loyalty and unwavering devotion - qualities he had come to rely upon more than anything else during our journeys together.

With each passing moment, our bond grew stronger, fueled by trust, respect, and an undeniable attraction that refused to be ignored any longer.

Despite those intense feelings swirling between us like an invisible storm cloud threatening to engulf us whole, neither of us seemed willing (or perhaps capable) of addressing the elephant in the room. Instead, we chose to lose ourselves within this limbo state - teetering precariously on the precipice between friendship and something far more dangerous.

We weren’t strangers to a wandering touch or two. We had shared the bed countless times before, always staying pressed against each other, be it for warmth, for consolation after a hard time, in celebration of a job well done, or just because we could. Our hands knew each other’s bodies well. But we never took it further than just some friendly exploration. Not that we didn’t want to, no. But because the consequences of further embarkment could change the world forever.

It was the one thing we never spoke about. Even though everyone would refer to me as Ran’s wife, and Ran as my husband, we had never spoken about taking a step in that direction among ourselves, despite proudly admitting to others we’d marry each other in a heartbeat.

Tonight, however, as my skin tightened under his gentle touch, I felt the surge of emotions overwhelm me. The air between us crackled with an electric charge, fueled by years of shared experiences, laughter, pain, and heartache. We were a duo forged in the fires of adversity, bound by ties stronger than steel. I leaned forward to brush a strand of Ran’s hair out of his face, lingering with my face so close to his, trailing my gaze from his one eye to the other, and, with a determined breath, I pressed my lips to his.

Whether the explosions we heard were sounding outside the window in the street, or in our minds, that was going to remain a mystery. My entire body and soul were captured in the sensation of Ran’s scent, the texture of his soft lips, the connection between his hands and my waist, pulling me impossibly close to his body.

We had said I love you countless times, but it had never meant anything like this before. It was a slow and fast sensation at the same time. Full to the brim, overflowing. Our lips slotted together in an avalanche of I love yous, all of them unsaid, but felt deep inside. His hands quickly took over my entire body, as mine found their purchase in the locks of his hair, tugging lightly to hear a soft moan slip from his throat into my hungry mouth - a feast for my senses, a fresh spring for my thirsty soul.

With reckless abandon, we surrendered to each other completely. Baring not only our bodies, but also our hearts and souls in ways previously unexplored. This wasn’t just lust or infatuation. This was something far greater - true love manifesting itself through passion, vulnerability, and trust.

With a swift motion, Ran picked me up and started walking towards the bedroom. In the passion of the moment, he put me down to take his sweatpants off and I pulled off the shirt I had put on only minutes earlier - the only material covering us was our underwear.

To change that, I dropped to my knees in front of Ran, but he reacted quickly, pulling me back up by my arm, sitting down on the bed, and pulling me on top of him to straddle his hips. He continued kissing me, at the same time giving me the most loving caress on my cheek.

As I straddled him, my hips started moving to gain some friction against his erection. This managed to draw out a deep groan from the depth of his throat. His hands travelled up and down my sides, resting on my soft thighs on each side of his body.

Slowly but surely, we were crossing into uncharted territory - venturing deeper into the depths of each other’s souls with every stolen kiss and whispered word of affection. It was as if all barriers between us had crumbled away entirely, leaving nothing behind save for raw emotion and insatiable longing.

Like a tidal wave - with unbridled power all at once - Ran flipped us over to hover over me, like my own personal sun. I couldn’t take my eyes off him, he was in my head and in my heart, all over me and in front of my very lucky eyes. I felt like prey that wanted to be caught by the hunter.

He lowered one hand to my cheek, gently caressing it before lowering his lips into a kiss to rival all kisses. His fingers trailed down my naked body and dived under the hem of my underwear, pushing it down and off me before settling in between my wet folds, sliding through them, making me whimper at his touch as I never had before.

Our bodies melded together seamlessly, our hearts beating in perfect sync. There was no denying this magnetic pull between us; it was as if fate herself had conspired to bring these two lost souls together under extraordinary circumstances. And now here we were - lying naked on the bed, bathed in moonlight streaming through the open window.

His eyes burned a hole in mine, keeping contact even through the seductive act of bringing his slick fingers to his lips, first spreading the wetness on the soft plush of his bottom lip, then sucking in his finger to taste me. As his eyes closed at the sensation, I let out a gasp, feeling the desire pool in my belly.

Ran chuckled and dived in to kiss me, spreading the slick from his lips to mine. He nudged my legs open with his knee, slotting himself in between my legs, rising to his knees to see the view spread out in front of him - the view that stirred something primal within his very core.

My eyes were filled with desire and longing, my body trembled beneath his touch as if begging for release from this exquisite torment.

He knew what I needed now - what we both craved more than anything else in the world. And yet, there was still a lingering sensation…a fear of crossing the invisible line that might forever alter our relationship.

But, as he gazed down upon my face bathed in moonlight, all doubts faded away like wisps of smoke on the wind. This moment had been building since the day we had first met. It was inevitable now. The culmination of countless shared experiences and stolen glances that had brought us to this point.

Ran kissed down my stomach and reached the centre of all my frustration, the point on my body where all these vibrations went down to. He blew a stream of cold air onto it, sporting an innocent smile on his gentle face, lighting up when I whimpered in frustration.

He gave my needy clit one gentle kiss and dragged his body up to examine how his little torture affected me. I was reaching my hands up, so high, towards him. I needed to touch him. I needed to feel his smooth skin under my fingertips, needed to feel that this was real, and not some twisted dream.

Ran adjusted himself in front of my entrance, sliding the head of his cock through my wet folds, just like he had with his fingers. 

I was shivering with sick anticipation.

And then…

As we crossed the threshold of no return, Ran whispered into the darkness around us.

“I need this so much.”

He gently eased himself inside my welcoming warmth. His movements were slow at first, tentative almost. I let out a whine so loud that I had to press my palm to my mouth to muffle it a little. He kept going, slowly, carefully, like he was waiting for me to stop him. I wouldn’t dream of it.

Somehow he was still going, stretching my insides to fit him, letting out huffs of air from his lungs as he sank deeper and deeper.

I looked up at him with a blissful smile, like I was right where I was always supposed to be.

Ran finally stopped sinking, filling me up completely. I wrapped my legs around his waist to anchor us both to this moment under the street light spilling in through the window, mixing with the cool moonlight. I kept him in me as long as I could before he started rocking back and forth, making both of us gasp with pleasure.

With each passing moment, the lines between friendship and something far more intense blurred until they became indistinguishable from one another.

“Ran…”

My voice echoed through the bedroom, together with the sound of insatiable moans and skin-on-skin contact. I gripped him like my life depended on his body staying as close to me as possible. His name was like a plea on my lips being whispered into the abyss, like my only wish and only thought in this entire world.

His hands roamed freely across my body, exploring every curve and contour like they were discovering new territories for the first time. As we moved together rhythmically, lost in each other’s embrace, there was no denying it anymore. We had taken a leap of faith, crossed the boundaries once considered sacred.

In Ran’s mind, there remained an undeniable truth: no matter what happened next or how things turned out eventually…this moment would forever remain etched deep in our minds, reminding us about what could exist between two souls brave enough to explore love beyond limits.

I thought about the twists and turns of our friendship throughout the years, how I had never felt jealous of any person he had been with. I had never felt threatened by his love interests, thinking it was because what we had was so platonic that it couldn’t have grown into anything else. Now I was starting to think we were so far past soulmates that nobody else could ever have replaced us.

Not a single person could replace Ran’s hands on my breasts and hips. Not a single person could be better under him than me right now, basking in his hungry eyes, being eaten alive by his desire. And when we were together, we unleashed eternity. We were sailing high, and I was already falling. Falling into the abyss of infinite pleasure.

With a gasp and a high-pitched moan I fell, and Ran caught me, sliding one hand to rub my swollen clit and bring me back to earth to ride out my orgasm. I attached my mouth to his neck, but not like before, this time it was possessive. Before, the neck kisses had just been a reminder of my presence, that I had been there with him - for him - but this time I intended to leave a mark.

I sucked on the sensitive skin of his neck like I tried to draw blood and his moans were fueling my passion.

I jerked my hips upwards to meet his thrusts when I finally came down to earth. I could feel him deeper inside of me than anyone else had ever been. He was giving me his all, and I was greedily taking it.

Ran let out guttural moans, again, and again, and again, as I met his thrusts with equal force; our bodies were like two pieces of an intricate puzzle designed specifically for one another.

As we spiralled towards oblivion together, consumed by insatiable desire and boundless affection, there existed within us both an unspoken understanding - this wasn’t about sex or pleasure, it was about exploring love unlike any other.

And then it finally happened, when we reached the pinnacle of ecstasy together, time seemed to stand still for a moment. 

With the last thrust of Ran's hips into me, I realised I'd never been full before in my life. Not until then. When his face betrayed him, when he lost himself in me, when his voice couldn't handle any more, that's when we ascended from mere mortality. 

I fell apart under his body, and he absorbed me into his soul.

Nobody else could ever compare. Nobody else came close to what we had.

All thoughts vanished except those centred around each other: You are mine.

Ran gazed down at me with a mixture of love, lust, and admiration as we descended from the dizzying height of our orgasms. I turned to him to gauge his reaction and figure out whether we were still, as usual, on the same page.

“Are you okay?”

My voice didn’t show any worry, though I felt in my soul the importance of our next decision - and that we had already decided when we pressed our lips together the first time.

Ran could see that this moment held more weight than any other we had shared thus far.

“Alright, sweetheart. Let’s talk about everything.”

He continued, propping himself up on one elbow and tracing his finger gently across my cheekbone. “What do you want from us?”

I shivered under his touch, still not over the way he had touched me just before this.

“I want all of you. I want to keep what we had before, but add this into it.” I thought for a moment. “The only thing I’d change, though…no more entertaining other people the way we did before.”

Ran listened intently as I spoke, my words resonating with a sincerity that made him feel both humbled and exhilarated. I wanted all of him - not just the passionate lover, but also the loyal friend who had been by my side through thick and thin.

“I promise you, darling…from now on, it will be just us.”

I drew closer to him.

“Yeah?”

Ran couldn’t help but smile, my eagerness mirrored his own excitement about our newfound intimacy.

“Absolutely, sweetheart.”

He ran a tender hand through my hair, savouring the moment before speaking again.

“I want nothing more than to be here with you, experiencing life together in every possible way.”

I drew myself up to face him and decided to get closer still, so I sat on his lap. I stuck my pinky out and he hooked his own to mine.

“No more holding back.” 

“No more holding back. From now on, we’ll face whatever comes our way together. We are in this for real.”

I snickered as he leaned in to kiss me, our pinkies still intertwined.

“I love the sound of that. And I love you. With everything I have.”

Ran pulled away slightly, gazing into my eyes before responding.

“And I love you too. More than anything else in this world.”

He brushed a stray lock of hair from my face, tucking it gently behind my ear. We were completely connected now - hand in hand, heart to heart.

I sighed, remembering the reality that awaited us beyond these walls.

“We have to tell Izana. He asked me about us earlier.”

Ran’s expression darkened, his mind already coming up with the best way to break the news without causing too much friction.

“How did he ask? Was it casual or serious?”

I smirked and caressed Ran’s face.

“Oh sweetheart, it’s going to be fine. He asked me if we’d grown a pair to confess to each other because he was our number one supporter,” I moved my hand to Ran’s hair, stroking it softly, “he’s always seen through us, I think.”

Ran couldn’t help but feel relieved. 

“Alright. Once we do this, there’s no going back. Are you absolutely certain about wanting everyone else to know?”

I held his gaze with determination.

“Absolutely. I don’t want anyone to think of me without visualising you by my side…if they hadn’t already.”

Ran nodded.

“Let’s go see him tomorrow then. We can catch him at breakfast.”

He squeezed my hand gently.

“Just remember, no matter what happens after we tell him, nothing changes between us two. We’re in this together until the very end.”

I nodded solemnly. I was ready to stand by Ran no matter what.

“In that case, we should try to sleep. Don’t want to show up in front of him with bags under my eyes.”

Ran chuckled lightly. He pulled me closer, nuzzling against my neck.

“That sounds like a plan. But before we retire for the night, there’s something I want to do first.”

His eyes glinted mischievously as he trailed soft kisses along my jawline. His lips curved into a smirk as he leaned over and brushed his lips against mine in a tantalising whisper.

“I was thinking of using my tongue on you, darling. Would you like that?”

His words sent a shiver down my body and I nodded wordlessly. His smirk widened at my response. He wasted no time in flipping us over and sliding off the bed to his knees, positioning himself between my legs.

“Let’s see how good you taste now, hm?”

He ran his fingers over my thighs, savouring the anticipation building within us. Ran enjoyed the sight of me lying on the bed, waiting for him with deep breaths. He lowered his head, pressing a tender kiss to my inner thigh before moving higher.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.”

With that said, he parted my folds with his fingers and began lapping at my clit in long strokes. I whimpered as soon as his tongue made contact. My thighs pressed together in reflex as much as they could, pressing against Ran’s head. He chuckled softly against my sensitive flesh, relishing the way I reacted to his touch. He gently nudged my legs apart with his shoulders.

Slipping a finger inside of me, he began matching the rhythm of his tongue with slow thrusts. With each stroke, he could feel my skin getting warmer and my body more responsive.

“God, you taste amazing,” he murmured between licks and kisses, “I could do this all night.”

I tried to speak through shallow breaths.

“I- I’m not going to fuck to complain, R-Ran.”

His tongue was playing with me perfectly and, combined with his long elegant finger, it was heaven.

Ran continued his ministrations with renewed vigour, determined to push me closer to the edge. He moaned into my pussy, letting the vibrations add another layer of sensation.

“Mmm, you like that?” His voice was muffled by my flesh, but audible enough for me to hear his question.

As my grip tightened on the sheets, he knew I was getting there. He increased the pace of both, his tongue and finger, ever so slightly, eager to watch me fall apart under his expert touch. I hummed and whimpered to the rhythm of his finger, sprinting towards the edge of oblivion and, not looking back or hesitating, flinging myself into the endless ocean of pleasure.

I came on his tongue and I could hear his low chuckle vibrating my clit, sending me further, deeper, into the abyss.

Ran caught me as I fell apart, holding me tightly tethered to earth as he continued pleasuring me with his tongue and finger. As he felt the waves of my orgasm wash over him, he revelled in the knowledge that he had been the reason behind it.

“Good girl.”

He whispered between licks, prolonging my climax until I went limp in his arms.

I struggled to find the right words as I slowly opened my eyes to gaze at him, his fingers in his mouth, licking off my release. The only words I could think of were a long string of I love yous.

I love you I love you I love you I love you…

@bontensbabygirl @haitani-maki @animeangel21 It took me way too long to fit all this together on the page :(