#and I never want to do that again
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I feel like I wasted my entire undergrad being severely depressed and an alcoholic and my entire masters severely depressed and doing projects other people wanted me to do and now everyone is my age w publications and editorial positions and I have basically nothing. Like a loser. But it's hard bc I didn't know what I wanted out of life and my career until very recently. 24 isn't that late to decide on a field of study but apparently now it is bc everyone else was publishing on the same topic in their undergrad and I can literally never catch up.
#I'm sure I'll have a fine career I guess#unexpectedly extremely upset after writing this usually I feel better for getting it out but sometimes getting it out makes it worse#I just feel like it was a 100% WASTE of time like the only thing I gave sustained attention to#was reading and writing philosophy#and I never want to do that again#and no one liked my philosophical writing (well written but not marketable or interesting to others)#And now I want to be a book historian and I don't know anything I'm supposed to know and I don't know how to figure it out without going#back to grad school which is evil#I almost never want advice on posts but if you've read this I will take advice actually
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#feel like my situation is progressing backwards#I hate that I only have one year left of college#I hate that since I picked a degree I love I’ll likely be stuck at home for a while even if I get a job ASAP#i feel like a kid again#and I never want to do that again#I hate that I’ve done so much work and I’m still punished for a situation I had no choice in (aka. being born)#rae’s rambles#delete later
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something insanely meta about jack and tommy chatting about how it all sucked everything sucked and it was a mess and it hurt and no theyd never wanna go back but.. they miss it sometimes. to the way things were and how they felt. sometimes you just wanna go back
#dsmp#insanely meta considering everything thats fucking happened#id never want to do dsmp again but i do miss how it Felt to be In it#to trust the people and care about the story#never again. it sucked. but yeah. sometimes you miss it
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#original post#im sorry#but not so sorry that i'm not going to try to blaze this#castiel loves the colour of the shoelaces#<- block that tag if you never want to see this again#supernatural#destiel#destiel confession#destiel confession meme#color of the sky#colour of the sky#do you love the color of the sky#shoelaces#i like your shoelaces#tumblr shoelaces#november 5th#it's the anniversary and also an election year again. i had to.#ive had this idea too long to let it go#image description in alt#remember to vote today folks#500 notes!#1000 notes!#2000 notes!#3000 notes!#4000 notes!
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the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.
#i can't believe i'm saying this#DEADPOOL CAN GET IT#Logan I'm sobbing I understand why you lunged at him#I would too bestie#it's the sass for me folks#paint that car white as much as they painted it red my god#a deadpool thirst post? from me? more likely than you'd think#this is a branch in realities i know it#i've never had Feelings for this motherfucker until this movie#all i'm left with is anger now because WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME#camera crew could have just made it landscape but noooooo they had to do a medium shot of this son of a bitch#i'm sending an especially affectionate fuck you in ryan reynolds' direction#i love how you love deadpool#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#don't get me wrong i've always adored deadpool's personality. nobody's that hilarious and not have humongous balls i mean trauma.#but i've never went 'why he kinda' until this specific shot right here#@ camera crew why the fuck did you zoom in? WHY?#for me? well it's infuriating#do it again#gif is credit to the owner#30 tags aren't enough for me to dismantle how this shot made me feel. tumblr you gotta update#damn tumblr i'm tryna feed a village here#guys just find my other post
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being in love with a fictional character will make u produce art u didnt know u were capable of
~
[if ur part of the "fiction doesnt affect reality" crowd: please fuck off lol]
#me: oh teehee lets just do this for fun bc im bored and want to try smth i haven't done in a year#the art: hi im gonna turn out far above what u thought u had the skillset for#im convinced this is just beginners luck DBDJDKL or like...#one of those times where u just produce rly good art for a day or two and then it never happens again DBFHDKL#ur graced by the light of some creative spirit entity and then they fuck off into the void randomly and leave u with no abilities SBJDKDL#dandy.cmd
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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i wanted to try drawing older Mabel and Dipper !
#gravity falls#mabel pines#dipper pines#artists on tumblr#tbob#not gonna lie im not too sold on these designs so i may change things later if i ever wanna draw them again#i was looking at their old character designs and concept art for inspiration#mabel lowkey looks like a fashion mess but! i think its in character so whatevvsss#also firm believer that they both have glasses. mabel doesnt wear contacts bc she likes fun frames + contacts are too uncomfortable for her#dipper doesnt wear contacts because hes too busy for contacts and he can never put them in right#also took some insp from kristen schaal. alex hirsch. ariel hirsch. jason ritter for them too#also. i know dipper is shown to be a STEM-y kid but i firmly am a believer hes a STEM enjoyer in the service of art. like the fanfiction#writer thats studies physics or chemistry to get a certain detail right or something. or the entire futurama writers room lol#like i do think he wants to make documentaries or shows abt the supernatural or whatever#and mabel helps out with the adventuring :)#kind of like buzzfeed unsolved in the golden era of youtube#turtlearts
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do you finally see me?
#LOTUS ALIEN STAGE ART FINALLY WHO CHEERED ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️#i cried so hard coloring this im never doing cool colors again this hurt me more than round 6#i listened to cure and i want you on like a six hour loop while drawing this i fear i'm not ok#oh also i have no idea what till's supposed to look like bc i couldn't be bothered to pull up a ref so if that doesn't look like him my b#all i know is his hair is gray and that's about it 💀💀💀💀💀#anyway mmm doomed by the narrative unrequited yaoi you KNOW i'm devouring that up#so glad they're reunited in heaven finally ♥️#luka next!! (i want his ass DEAD.)#alien stage#alnst#alnst ivan#alnst till#ivantill#round 6#vivinos#lotus draws
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he did it! 🐍 and it only took...uhhh...well, there probably could've been less punches, but why hold back!
PUNCHES FOR EVERYONE
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 9 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 9 spoilers#snakes#ONE MORE DOWN#oh my god happy jamil was SO scary and yet adorable all at once#i want real jamil to see him and just be utterly disgusted#and yet he got nothing on the return of everyone's favorite twst character: WEIRD RHYTHMIC ELEPHANT#oh weird rhythmic elephant what would we do without you#me kicking my stupid little feet as jamil wakes up through sheer force of kalim though#he was SO happy for jamil and SO ready to just go along with everything. my sweet boy.#jamil getting so flustered by him that he's just shocked back into reality#and the SLAPFIGHT#silver being like 'they need this' and doing his one smile animation as kalim and jamil are pulling on each other's hair and going YOU SMEL#mmm yes delicious#also this is probably nothing but#but...they brought up the whole thing with azul having dirt on crowley again#the thing that was briefly alluded to in episode 4 and never mentioned ever again?!#i had JUST finally convinced myself that i was reading too much into it and it was just azul playing along with jamil's plan#but now they've mentioned it again and i'm going to be all BUT WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEAAAAN for another three years about it#is it a meaningless reference to that one scene?! is it absolutely ridiculous foreshadowing?! am i ever going to be validated?!#I HAVE TO KNOW
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FNAF Phone guy was wild for saying that to Michael..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#phone guy#fnaf 1#sister location#fnaf fanart#HOLY SHIT PHONE GUY MENTIONED AGAIN 🔥🔥#NOW WITH A FULL HUMAN DESIGN ☎️#listen I know I’ll never beat his object head form#BUT I wanted to take at least one stab at making him a design!#my thought process I based him off William and Bob the security guard from the movie!#those two basically gives off the general idea I thought phone guy looked like#made sure to give him red all over his design too to match the phone head deal 🙏🏾#SO YEAH in retrospect phone guy saying this TO MICHAEL is crazy#you think Michael just sat there like 😐#Michael straight up had an endo shoved into him and he was wore like a suit 💀#PHONE GUY definitely didn’t know but yeesh hit close to home there#I REALLY hope yall like PG design!!#I’ll probably tweak it a lil if I do draw it again#now phone guy phone dude and tape girl all have human designs let’s go!! 🩵🩵
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Good lord this tomb is full of shitposts 😳😳 pt 1/pt 2
#sorry for the mercy/augustine sex jumpscare but i rly do think they have terrible sex every like. 200 years#they're like “Oh this Sucks I'm never doing this Again” and then hundreds of years pass and they get bored and they're like hmmm#maybe. it wasn't THAT bad.#the idea of bitching and complaining during sex is too funny to me#also my magnus design is pure indulgence#i just wanted to sexualise that old man. and he ended up looking like varric dragon age 😭😭#also also i gave Pal the fancy swoopy glasses that elphaba wears in the wicked trailer cos i think they're cool#okay now i gotta do some actual tagging#the locked tomb#tlt#gideon the ninth#gtn#harrow the ninth#htn#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#harrow nonagesimus#griddlehark#ianthe tridentarius#ianthe the third#mercymorn the first#augustine the first#palamedes sextus#palamedes the sixth#abigail pent#magnus quinn#john gaius#tlt shitposting#oh and i haven't finished Nona. i paused my reading because i found out there isn't a release date for the next book so I'm like#i need to make this last. i gotta ration this book out (<-stupid)
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Patrolling on the rooftops.
DDVAU created by the fantastic @xmaruu11 and @kitsuneisi
#ddvau#ddvau fanart#ddvau cuteguy#ddvau hotguy#grian#gtws#gtws fanart#grian fanart#desertduo#scarian#desert duo vigilante au#goodtimeswithscar#goodtimewithscar fanart#hermitshipping#double hearted#my art#i never want to render wings again#why do i do this to myself
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Happy 1 year anniversary to Mr Sherlock Holmes! Here's a litttleee celebratory comic from me
#sherlock & co#sherlock and co#writing these tags on the 29th of september#which is when john and sherlock ACTUALLY met <3#so there you go#uh once again shout out to candy for letting me talk through some of my processes#it helps immensely and i really wanted to be sure i was getting across what i wanted to with this one#speaking of which - usually i yap a lot in the tags of these bcus i love talking about art#for this one...im not sure i want to comment too much#because i'll be here forever and i think most things can speak for themself#but let me say this one thing#for the first five pages i was drawing john on paper and sherlock on the computer exclusively#and then bringing them together..#uh it really made me think of paul and harry. recording on opposite sides of the world. brought together by the power of editing#its not a particularly emotional scene but i hope ive infused it with. something.#anyway thats it from me#if u want to ask about any particular aspect i would love to yap about the process but i'll just leave it here for now or i'll never shut u#happy 1 year podpals#patsart#oh yeah i will say i did have to take quite a bit of liberty with the audio in order to do what i wanted. forgive me#or dont idc
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Look what we've become.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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✨️ BROTHERS! ✨️
(shouto will live out his idle childhood daydreams, even if he has to reverse their roles himself haha)
#soba brothers#todoroki touya#lov dabi#dabi#bnha dabi#toya todoroki#shoto todoroki#todoroki shouto#bnha#bnha fanart#mha#mha fanart#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#if there's one thing i knew we'd never get but that i really wanted it was the reappearance of touya's bottom lashes 😔#if there's one thing i thought we'd get that we never did it was these two getting soba together#why did u do us like this hori. why. (crying in the corner)#starting to reach baseline again! just have a few writing stuff and then i'll be more or less caught back up woooooo!!! 🎉🎉🎉#omg just realized i didnt even tag dabi
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