#and I love that is only exception is someone who really see him as who he is under all his lies and bullshits | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lamentationsofalonelypotato · 3 days ago

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@zepskies

Ooo Yay! I can't wait to see what you thought about this UNHINGED fic 😂

On one hand, perfect makeout music. On the other hand, Dean is SOOOO freakin' jealous, but it's so frustrating that pushing down his own feelings for her has resulted in him being such a dick to her, before and during this moment. 😫😫

Oh yes, definitely setting the mood for the reader and Ben in the back seat lol. We all know that Dean has probably pulled the same thing in the past 😆 Dean is VERY jealous and it's only pushing the reader away from him more, but he can't stop it. He's stuck in a vicious cycle that is turning into one of Dante's circles of hell when Ben showed up LOL.

*snorts* I love both of these analogies. 🤣

Thank you! I was like... what else has a roadtrip in it? 😂

Deaaaaaan you complete and utter idiot!! What's even worse is that she did feel that spark with him when they first met, until he opened his big dumb mouth lmao.

He really has pushed down his feelings, a few people have pointed out to me that Dean is acting like the playground bully who likes a girl but can't express it in a healthy way and that is one million percent what's happening here lol. The reader did like him when they first met, but again he just didn't express his feelings in a healthy way and now he has to sit and watch Ben and the reader make out in the back seat of his car 😂

Lol sounds like the Winchester Way to me. 🫠

Absolutely 👏🏻 The reader is basically the male version of Dean tbh. Except she shoved down her feelings and then went to sleep with someone who looked exactly like Dean 🤣 Because that was also healthy right? lol

My heart was so torn throughout this entire fic, you have no idea!! The way she manages to pacify him loll. So sweet and sexy in a way, but also, you get the sense that she thinks Ben might just see her as a pretty face, even if he does care about her deep down? It makes you wonder where her heart is truly going to lie at the end of all this angsty love-triangle goodness.

Mine was too! I literally kept going back and forth from Ben to Dean, trying to figure out who she should be with. Because she has incredible chemistry with Ben and she understands him in a way that I think he's not used to. And on the other hand Dean understands her because she's a hunter, he's just being a stubborn idiot 🤣

AND you're right! The reader thinks that Ben only sees her as a pretty face at the moment. She doesn't understand that he has started to develop feelings for her. But I think that the reader also believes that Ben has the possibility to become more than just someone she sleeps with. That he could love her if she let him and if she loved him.

Oh my God this part was completely unhinged and it was hilarious! But the way Ben decides to "get rid of her" is unfortunately on-brand, not caring enough about the collateral damage, the risk of the reader getting hurt. 💔 Even though he does check on her afterwards, the way Dean protected her has my heart swinging back to him and melting in a whole different way!! 😫 Gah! This is so conflicting! loll don't do this to me, friend. 😂�� I need to dive right into Part 3 so I get to see what happens between her, Ben, and Dean, and just who will confess their feelings first...

Yes see, I went to see Wicked with my friends the weekend before I wrote this and you have no idea how much I love the OC Iris that I made for this fic. I was also thinking "how many references to How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days can I put in one fic?" lol. I was sad that I had to kill her- but it had to be done. There needed to be a dramatic moment where Dean chose to save the reader and give the reader a little bit of doubt about Ben and also show the way he is (unfortunately). But Ben coming to check on the reader literally put me on the fence all over again because he was being soft for her 😭

I'm so sorry to do that to you my friend!! But admit it, you love the angst lmao 💞😉

Thank you so much for all your comments my lovely friend! I always love to hear what you think! And I can't wait to read what you think of Part 3! 💗

Part 2: It Is A Big Deal

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Dean Winchester xf!reader,

POV: Reader POV

Summary: Dean's in for a rude awakening when he finds out exactly what you did when you got stranded in another universe.

Tropes: Frenemies (Dean and the Reader), Awkward Situation, Multiverse Problems, ANGST

Word Count: 7.4K

Warnings: I'm gonna label this 18+ just to be sure. Cursing, Making Out, DEATH, Violence (only a little), Jealousy, Pining, Kinda Sad Vibes In Some Places, Sexual Innuendo, References to Sex, Feelings, Angst, Self Deprecating Thoughts? References to Past Sex (it happens quite a bit). References to Future Sex. Soldier Boy Being Soldier Boy (Everyone knows he’s a warning). Dean Winchester Being Dean Winchester (aka. being moody and super hot).

Listen While You Read: Jealous Again By The Black Crowes

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is no use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person

A/N: It was so fun to come back to this universe again! Thank you so much to everyone for all the love and support that you've gave me in writing the first part and thank you for all the encouragement to write a part 2! And also please don't forget to check out Stranded by @justagirlinafandomworld that inspired me to write this fic!💗

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

"Can the two of you stop playing find my tonsils and tell me where the hell it is I'm supposed to be driving to?" Dean grouses from the driver's seat while Sam leans over a road map squinting to look at the small print.

"Ready For Love" is playing over the speakers, barely audible over the thud of fat raindrops pummeling the windshield, blocking out the world around you, and sending the shadows racing across your skin where Ben and you are sitting in the backseat.

“Well, if you’d given me a few hours to fuck her at the motel instead of throwing a bitch fit-" Ben begins to say, turning his gaze your face to stare at the back of Dean's head with a lazy smile.

“Dean why do you care?" You interrupt Ben with red cheeks. "I know for a fact worse things have happened in the backseat of your car than Ben and me making out."

"Really? Because I can’t think of anything worse that you and him sucking on each other's tongues and helping the spread of mono." Dean's hands tighten on the steering wheel and his shoulders tense.

He’s more wound up than a tinker toy.

It has been exactly thirty three minutes since Dean's mental breakdown back at the motel when Ben showed up. Furthermore, despite how much Dean had screamed at you at the motel, it appeared that he was still going to act like a two year old who wanted a cookie before dinner.

Sam's suggestion for the four of you to figure out why Ben was here had been a welcome distraction from Dean's spiral. It had prompted all of you to pile into Baby to try and find where it was that Ben landed in your universe and find a clue as to why.

But so far the trip had been less like riding in the Mystery Machine and more like riding with the Griswold's on their road trip to Wally World…

Dean had been supportive of trying to find a solution to what he deemed the "Ben problem," but it appeared that Dean was going to spend every waking minute getting on your nerves.

Honestly, what's new?

You didn’t understand why Dean was so damn argumentative whenever you showed up, it was like he lived to make your life as difficult as possible.

It had always been that way. Since the first day you met Sam and him at Ellen's bar forever ago, Dean had never once said something nice about you or to you.

He always found some little thing to nit pick, whether it be your aim, your research skills, or your technique when hunting and you were sick of it. Each time the two of you worked together, it was Sam's job to make sure it didn't end in bloodshed. Even Cas noticed Dean's underlying hostility towards you and when he asked Dean what was wrong, Dean had brushed him off with a "not now Cas."

Worse was the time that you got hurt (only a minor injury) on a hunt a few weeks ago when you got thrown into a glass cabinet while facing down a poltergeist. Dean had chewed you out for a good twenty minutes and even with Sam's ability to intervene, you'd broken Dean's nose for speaking to you like that, and then rushed off to your room in the bunker before he had a chance to see you cry.

It was the one thing that you never allowed yourself to do in front of Dean Winchester, cry. He didn't deserve your tears, especially not when he was being a total grade A asshole.

When Sam came in later to help you get patched up, you asked him why Dean hated you and Sam tried to convince you otherwise, but you knew the truth.

Dean Winchester hated you, and you had no idea why. So you decided to stop trying to make him like you, because if he was going to act like a total dick he didn't deserve you being nice to him.

You knew that was why you liked Ben more. Ben appreciated you (sort of), he wasn't mean, he listened to you (sometimes), and he did give you compliments… well, they all revolved around the way you looked and that was nice, but just you wanted someone to give you a compliment that had to do with something else. Or maybe just a simple "I see you."

Is that so hard to ask?

Your few flings in the past hadn't been anything special. You didn't have the kind of stable lifestyle that prompted or supported long serious relationships, especially with non-hunters. Not to mention you'd always had this fantasy about meeting another hunter who understood exactly what you went through and what you had gone through over the years. It was often difficult to find a non-hunter who could understand that.

The bunker was the first permanent address that you'd ever had. Your mother had been one of the best hunters in the US, known by all, and you never met your dad, which meant that growing up on the road was the only life you knew. She'd died a year before you started working with the Winchesters which meant that you didn't exactly have anyone that you cared about or anyone who cared about you.

The thought often brought the feeling of loneliness stirring in your chest, but you pushed it down, throwing everything you had into hunting.

Healthy right?

Ben's muscular arm is wrapped around your waist, his hand splayed over your lower back to keep you tight against his chest so there is no space between the two of you, while your hands locked at the back of his neck. You didn't usually like PDA that much, occasionally yes, but you'll admit that you were only allowing yourself to give in to Ben a little more, because you liked how much it annoyed Dean.

Yes, you thought that it was absolutely ridiculous how Dean was acting, but you wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. Because in all the years you'd known him, you’d never found one thing to hold over his head or one thing that really irritated him, and Ben was working like a charm.

It also felt really good to kiss him, but that was beside the point.

You understood that Dean was having a psychotic break with his constant proclamations that Ben "was him," but you wanted to at least understand why Dean was still hung up on it.

Ben isn't Dean. Sure they have the same face, but Ben is different… isn't he?

When you'd encountered Ben for the first time you had done a double take, but the more you were around him, the more you appreciated the way he treated you differently from Dean. Yes he was a little sexist, but Ben made you feel wanted and Dean had a way of making you feel stupid and often like a burden, as if you'd been plopped on his doorstep like a box of kittens and he was stuck with you.

There was only so much that you could take.

You didn't know what you'd done to earn such hostility. Dean was far from sexist, and you'd seen him interact with other people, it was just you he treated differently and it made you want to strangle him.

"Calm down kid-" Ben sighs.

"Stop calling me that!" Dean turns around to glare at the man next to you.

"Keep your eyes on the road." Sam says, not looking up from the map. He didn't need to.

"What a wonderful suggestion Sammy, but see I can't because I have no idea where the hell it is I'm going!" Dean snipes at his brother.

I swear at this point if Gabriel pops out of nowhere and tells me that this is all just a fucked up dream, I'd believe it.

"Stop being damn hormonal kid, and keep driving." Ben rolls his eyes and moves his lips to your throat, nipping and biting along the flesh visible over the top of your jacket, making you gasp softly and lean into Ben's warm embrace.

Your eyes meet Dean's in the rear view mirror and just for a second you see something flash through them that isn't anger, but it's gone just as soon as you clock it.

What was that?

Dean slams on the brakes and Ben tightens his grip on your body so you don't go flying forward into the bucket seat.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" You snap, curiosity gone, as you glare at Dean.

The tension in the car is high, popping and crackling around the four of you like popcorn. You still couldn't understand why Dean had such a problem with Ben. If anything you'd think that they'd get along a little bit.

"I am not being hormonal or whatever other chauvinistic shit that is about to come out of your mouth." Dean snarls, ignoring you, as he turns and narrows his eyes at Ben. "And I am not your chauffeur. So tell me where the hell it is I'm going so you can get the fuck out of my car and out of my life!"

Ben opens his mouth to retort something, no doubt that'll trigger Dean, but you speak before he can.

"Ben, do you remember anything about where you came through?" You ask him. You were trying to be more diplomatic even though Dean was making your blood boil.

Just because Dean is mad at me does not mean that he gets to take it out on Ben. Ben hasn't done anything wrong. He got sucked into this reality and immediately got pulled into Dean's soap opera.

Ben huffs out a sigh as he turns back to look at you. His gaze softens a little as his eyes meet yours, turning from a dark green to a jade. "There was a building-"

"Oh wow, how helpful!" Dean snarks. "Did you hear that Sammy? There was a building! Mystery solved!"

Ben whips his head in Dean's direction, the air in the car growing hot as Ben's skin begins to heat, but you gently lay your hand on his cheek to bring his gaze back on you. "Dean is an asshole. We all know." You say to Ben, reassuring him and ignoring the look Dean gives you when you say it. "Do you remember anything about the building?"

Getting Ben angry wasn't the way to get information out of him, he was, after all, more like Dean than you were willing to admit. And just as you'd seen Dean get worked over by numerous women, including Bella, sweet talking worked the best.

Well, it never worked when you tried to do it, because Dean refused to treat you any way other than an annoyance.

But two could play that game, especially with the way that Dean was acting right now.

Ben's jaw tightens and you know that he's biting back some remark to throw Dean's way, but you pull him closer, trailing your hand over his bearded cheek to keep his attention and gently bring your lips to his. You feel the tension shift from Ben's shoulders beneath the palms of your hands as he relaxes into the kiss, and this time Ben smiles when you pull away, giving your hips an encouraging squeeze. "It was a school or some shit. And there was a billboard for "World's Biggest Beer Can.""

"Okay. We can work with that." Sam says giving you a sympathetic look before pulling out his phone to type something in.

At least Sam is being normal about this whole thing.

Sam and you always got along, from the start he was the older brother that you never had, and it was refreshing. Not to mention Sam was your best and probably only friend. The hunter life was lonely and you found it difficult to make friends anyway, but something about Sam always stuck. He got your abnormal sense of humor, he gave the best hugs, and he stood up for you when things got heated between Dean and you. It was his idea for you to move into the bunker with him and Dean, and also him that convinced Dean to let you move in.

It had taken days for Dean to finally say yes. And when he did, he made you move into the bedroom next to his as if he wanted to keep an eye on you because he didn't trust you.

And as much as you hated living with Dean, living with Sam made up for it. You liked helping him research while Dean bitched and moaned about reading through dusty volumes, liked helping him clean up while Dean followed behind you as if you couldn't be trusted, liked helping Sam try to make dinner that ended up more burned than anything else until Dean stepped in and shooed the both of you from the kitchen so he could make something, and liked kicking back on the couch watching movies with Sam while eating copious amounts of popcorn.

Unfortunately, Dean didn't get the hint that you wanted him to leave you alone so he'd follow Sam and you, crack open a beer, and proceed to give a personal commentary on the movie the two of you were watching, occasionally throwing a look in your direction as if he was checking that you were listening to him. Weirder still was the fact that Dean would do that when Sam wasn't with you.

You noticed that sometimes, that no matter where you were in the bunker, Dean just happened to find himself in the same room. But that didn't mean he would speak, sometimes he would just be cleaning one of his guns or quietly reading through a dusty volume or writing something down in a notebook, but you swore sometimes you thought that Dean was looking at you. Each time you looked up though, he was looking down at whatever else it was he was doing.

It was those moments that made you think that things could be civil between the two of you, and then he'd get on your case for doing something he deemed "wrong" when you knew you did it right the first time as if you hadn't been a hunter as long as he had.

He probably does that because he doesn't trust me.

Dean grumbles something under his breath and turns his gaze back out the windshield, watching the wiper blades go back and forth over the glass, crossing his arms over his chest. Ben frowns and you know that he must have been able to hear whatever it was Dean said.

Why can't we all just get along for five minutes? Is that too much to ask?

"Alright I've got something." Sam says ending the uncomfortable silence in the car. "The World's Biggest Beer Can is in Northwood about ten miles ahead of us."

"Finally. At least someone is pulling their weight." Dean states before he hits the gas, the force throws you backwards into the seat.

Your gaze flicks up to the rearview mirror and notice that Dean is watching you again, but you turn away to Ben who smiles wide and pulls you back towards him for a kiss.

But deep down you can't help but wonder if Dean had been watching the two of you in his rearview mirror the whole time and why he cared so much.

The building that Ben remembers is in fact, an abandoned school.

The roof sags inward allowing rainwater to pool in the front lobby over black and white checkered tiles, the lockers are rusted and thrown to the floor at odd angles making you worry about the possibility of tetanus, and there is an ungodly stench that you can only describe as old gym socks, axe body spray, and unwashed feet.

Ben's nose wrinkles where he stands beside you, and you're sure that no matter what your sense of smell is experiencing it's a million times worse for him.

You press your lips into a tight line, toeing around a puddle of something gray and sticky that you can't identify, but know for a fact you don't want it in your shoes. Your eyes squint into the looming darkness that grows the more you stare down the forgotten hallways.

It’s always gotta be an old creepy building. Just once I want to get to investigate a donut shop or a burger joint or a Starbucks.

"Any of this looking familiar Captain Sexual Harassment?" Dean asks turning with his flashlight to point in Ben's face.

Ben shrugs and squints at the offending light. "I don’t fucking know."

"Enlightening." Dean huffs out a breath. "Well, guess we can split up and-"

Thank God I won't have to listen to Dean mutter things under his breath and freak out.

"Fine." You interrupt. "Come on Ben." You start to walk down one of the dark hallways, but Dean slides in front of you to block your path.

"No way. You're not going with him." Dean waves his flashlight in Ben's face again and you can see the twitch on the corner of Dean's mouth to see how much he enjoys blinding him.

Why does he always have to act like such a child?

"Why?" You demand.

"Because as soon as Sam and I get out the picture, Grandpa over there is going to pull you aside and fuck you in one of the classrooms." Dean says it without blinking, but it makes you flush red in embarrassment and anger.

"No, he's not!"

"Yes, he is!"

Dean is so close that you can feel his warm breath on your face. His eyes are narrowed in anger, but you can see another emotion flick through them so quickly you think you imagined it. It was the same emotion that you thought you saw in the car, but you can't identify it, not yet.

Ben's hand comes down on Dean's shoulder, a wide smirk on his face. "Look kid, I get it. She's fucking hot and I know you think I'm trying to horn in on your action-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean exclaims shaking off Ben's hand.

"You're jealous because she decided to be with a real man instead of you." Ben shrugs. His gaze travels up and down Dean as if appraising him before he shakes his head with a chuckle. "I can't blame her. Someone like you couldn't handle her.

"I could handle her just fine!" Dean snaps back his face flushing as he forces his chest against Ben's, who only smirks back.

What did he just say?

Your entire body goes stick straight in surprise and you turn your head to stare at Dean. In all the years that you'd known Dean he's never once said something like that to you.

Sure there was the night you met…

You hadn't thought about it in years. You'd been back in town because Bobby had called asking you to help out some friends of his on a case and you'd stopped in to Ellen's bar to see Jo. Dean had come on to you and you'd splashed a beer in his face and also maybe pinned him down against the bar. It had been awkward the next day when you found out that Dean and Sam were the friends that Bobby wanted you to help out, but you pushed past all the weird feelings to help.

Dean had flirted with you that night and you will admit to yourself that you thought Dean was attractive before he opened his mouth, but since that night the two of you hadn't spoken about it. In fact, you were both perfectly happy pretending that it didn't happen.

Or so you thought.

Dean's dark green eyes flick to yours in realization. "That's not what I meant."

"Sure kid." Ben's smirk grows to Cheshire Cat proportions.

"Stop calling me that!"

The weird thing was, you'd seen Dean lose his temper, it always flared fast and hot broken up with sarcastic comments, but for some reason this felt different and you didn't understand why. It didn't feel like Dean just getting angry because Ben was getting under his skin, it felt like something else.

"Whoa!" You get between the two of them for the second time in an hour. "If you guys keep fighting like this I'm going to put you both in time out!"

"He started it!" Dean glares at Ben, who doesn't look the least bit upset.

"I don’t care who started it! You're grown men and you're still acting like toddlers. I shouldn't have to separate you." You snap waving around your flashlight at Dean.

"How about this?" Sam sighs from where he stands a few feet away. "I'll go with Ben and the two of you can try not to shoot each other."

"Why can't I go with you?" You sigh to your friend.

"You want to leave them together? Alone?" Sam raises his eyebrow.

Not really.

Sam takes your silence rightfully as confirmation, because the both of you knew if you left Dean and Ben together it would probably be a Thunderdome situation or a reenactment of the WWE.

"Maybe we shouldn't split up." Dean says looking at his brother.

"You scared kid?" Ben smirks. " No wonder she decided to fuck me instead of you. You’re acting like a little bitch."

"You son of a bitch-" Dean finally snaps and launches himself towards Ben, but your hand fists in the back of Dean's leather jacket to stop him from starting a fight that you know he won't win.

It wasn't that you thought Ben was a better fighter than Dean, it was that Ben had super strength and would have no qualms ripping Dean in half. And despite how much Dean annoyed you, you didn't want him to die. Sure he was a jerk, but he didn't deserve that after everything he'd been through, and Sam didn't need to bear witness to that.

"Fine." You say. "Ben please go with Sam."

Ben rolls his eyes and follows after Sam, leaving Dean and you standing in the lobby alone, the only sound the soft plop of water echoing down the empty hallway.

Great. Now I'm stuck with Dean in a creepy old building. It's a dream come true. The stuff of Disney movies.

"Why did you do that?" Dean snaps at you when Ben and Sam turn a corner out of sight.

"You should be thanking me! Ben would rip you in half without batting an eye!" You turn back towards the empty hallway and try to put as much distance as you can between Dean and you.

Distance is good, nice. It means that I can only partly hear his disapproval.

"You don't know that." Dean catches up with you, sweeping the path in front of you with his flashlight looking for holes in the floor.

"Yes, I do. I've seen him do it before."

By now you were aware that there was a chill in the air, it was unnatural, creeping down the hallway in a thin mist that made a shiver crawl down your spine. Dean must sense it too, because he pulls his gun at the same time you do.

That or he's doing it because he's about to go Rambo on Ben's ass.

Because that'll end well…

"If he rips people in half why do you like him so much?"

“He’s not a bad person if that’s what you’re getting at. Ben did it to save me.” You point your flashlight into one of the classrooms along the hallway noting the rotted desks tipped over onto the checkered floor. “He wouldn’t hurt me.”

Ben's world was filled with more than a few crazed individuals, and when you'd been in his universe Ben had stepped in when a supe threw themselves at you. Truthfully, even though Ben did what he did to protect you, watching him pull someone apart with his bare hands made you sick to your stomach. Given what you'd seen, that was saying something. But you knew that Ben wouldn't hurt you, he wasn't that kind of man, and you weren't afraid of him.

“You’ve known him for five days! How can you tell after five days?!” Dean nudges a cardboard box with his boot sending a family of cockroaches scuttling into the shadows.

"Because I can!" Your lip curves up in distaste at the appearance of the roaches and try not to imagine all the walls infested with the little bugs.

You didn't like roaches. Especially ones that all of a sudden developed the ability to fly in your presence as if it were a miracle.

The two of you continue to walk down the hallway, the sound of your footsteps masking the constant dripping noise that comes from the floor above.

Your temper was flaring all over again. You didn't think that you needed to explain any of this to him. Dean never felt the need to discuss his extensive history with women with you and you didn't feel the need to discuss the ins and outs of your and Ben's situation.

"Come on-" He begins to say, but you don't want to hear it.

"Dammit Dean just fucking drop it." You throw your shoulder against a door at the end of the hallway, putting everything you have into it and a little more. You were getting frustrated at Dean's continuous commentary on your life. "I don’t want to talk about this anymore or listen to any of the ridiculous reasons why you think that it's any of your business who I sleep with."

“I think it is my business because you were about to reenact the scene from Titanic in the back of my car!”

“Oh please. I’m sure that you’ve reenacted it billions of times back there. Mr. Saturday Night!” You roll your eyes hitting the door again with your shoulder.

“It’s my car!" Dean shouts, moving you out of the way in a surprisingly gentle way, before he savagely kicks down the door. "I can do whatever I damn well please!”

I wonder if Sam and Ben are having a better time than us. It wouldn't be difficult to.

The door opens with a snap under the force of Dean's kick depositing Dean and you into a large auditorium. The seats are a faded gray and the curtains that hang from the sides of the stage, once blood red, were more of a muddled pink stained with splotches of dark spots and filled with holes the size of the Impala.

Crawling vines and ferns have begun to tangle over the empty seats and over the floors, absorbing anything in their path. The wooden stage is dilapidated and caving in on itself, the boards jutting upwards instead of laying flat as they should in some places from years of water damage. The carpet beneath your feet is squishy and moth eaten, and each step sends another cloud of dust into the air making the room hazy and you cough into your elbow.

"Not to mention he's me!" Dean continues, tramping into the room behind you.

"How many times are you going to say that?" You pinch the bridge of your nose, trying your best to keep it together.

"As many times as I have to, to get the point into your thick skull!"

You whirl around and poke your finger into his chest. "You know what Winchester? You can take all your opinions and shove them right up your uptight ass!"

"The two of you don't get along at all. Odd given how you seem to get along with my fiancé." A bored voice says from somewhere behind you. "But it is a lot more entertaining than I thought it was going to be."

Dean and you both lock eyes and turn to look in the direction of the voice, but there's no one there.

"Um, did you hear-" Dean begins to ask.

"Yes I did." You reply clicking the safety off your pistol.

"Just checking."

"Though I will say, with the way today is going for you and if this is you having a psychotic break, I wouldn't be surprised that you're having auditory hallucinations."

"Shut up." Dean sighs.

"Hello?" You shout, looking around the empty auditorium for some answer, but it remains empty.

Dean snorts. "Now who's craz-"

"Hello?" The voice mocks in a nasally voice. "Wow you're pathetic. I don't understand what he sees in you."

"You call me pathetic, but you're the one hiding. So why don't you come out?" A chair from the front row plucks itself off the ground and hurls itself at your head. You duck and it sails into the aisle behind Dean and you.

"You're not even that pretty." The voice continues and you can imagine a pout on the end of its words like a petulant child who wishes to get their way.

This is so fucking weird.

"Thanks." You reply dryly. "I like to think I've got a great personality."

"You don't." Dean mutters, making you throw an elbow into his side.

A high pitched giggle echoes through the space making it impossible to identify where it came from, until finally a woman materializes on the stage. You blink your eyes to make sure that she's really there.

Her blonde hair falls over her shoulders in perfect ringlets, and she's wearing a bright pink fur trimmed dressing gown. The kind you'd see on an eccentric billionaire's trophy wife who spent most of her day drinking gin martinis poolside while being fanned by cabana boys or the kind that she'd be wearing when she heard of her husband's "untimely demise." There's a silver diamond crown perched on top of her head and she's smoking a cigarette from a long white cigarette holder, while she lounges back on a golden throne.

What. The. Fuck.

"Do you see her too?" You whisper to Dean out of the corner of your mouth.

"You mean Glinda the Good Witch the later years? Yeah I can." Dean replies looking just as confused as you do. "You thinking Gabriel?"

"I thought he was dead."

"He's pretended to be dead before." He shrugs.

"Fair enough. Any reason why he's making us see her?"

"Maybe your new boyfriend has a fetish."

"Hasn't anyone told you that it's rude to whisper?" The woman says, taking a drag from her cigarette.

"Sorry. Um. Who are you?" You ask.

"I don't speak to homewreckers." Her face contorts into a sneer. You watch her eyes shift from Dean to you. "But I'll answer for your friend. I'm Iris, Benjamin's Fiancé."

If pigs could fly right now an entire fleet of them would be taking flight around you. You tried to wrack your brain remembering a single time that Ben said that he had a fiancé or was in a relationship at all, and you can't find a single moment.

Well… today officially sucks.

"Wow. Nice." Dean looks at you with a scoff. "Real nice."

"Hey woah, I didn't know he had a fiancé." You hold up your free hand in surrender. "He never said anything about a-"

"Hey gorgeous. Did you find anything?" Ben says materializing behind Dean.

"You're engaged?" You shout.

"No?" Ben looks confused. "Who told you that?"

You point a thumb over your shoulder to Iris, who is still lounging on the stage completely in her element. She giggles and wiggles her fingers in a cute wave.

"Hey Benny Wenny, did you miss me?" Her lips curl up in a wide smile when she rises from the throne, her bright blue eyes crinkling around the edges. The air around her seems to sparkle, sending scattered light out into the broken seats.

Ben is still staring up at the woman, looking utterly confused.

"You know that freak?" Dean whispers to Ben who is now standing shoulder to shoulder with him.

"Fuck no."

"Well, congratulations Benny Wenny." Dean snorts. "Guess you're getting married."

"I am not-"

"And don't worry, of course I'll be your best man." Dean continues, holding back laughter.

"Shut the fuck up kid!" Ben snaps at Dean, before turning back to the woman on the stage. "Look baby, I don't know who you are but-" Ben begins to say to the woman, who only laughs.

She throws back her head, golden curls bouncing with the force of her body moving, laughing for an unnatural amount of time before she locks her blue eyes on Ben again.

“Stop being silly. We met a few months ago at Legend’s party. We had a few drinks and then you came back to my apartment where we made love for hours-“ Her cheeks blush. “It was sooooo romantic. What I always dreamed about!”

“Um-“

“My parents are so excited to meet you and my little sister said that she’s so happy to have a big brother!” She giggles. “I even made us matching t-shirts to wear on our honeymoon and a scrap book of our children!" She holds up a magenta colored bedazzled photo album that’s the size of a medium sized dog.

Wow she put a lot of work into that.

“Children?” Ben stutters, his voice cracking on the end a little bit. It's the first time that you've ever seen him look afraid.

“What they’ll look like, where we’ll vacation each year, where we'll live, where you'll work-” Her expression turns sour, eyes flashing a dark pink as she glares in your direction. “But then you met that little whore who took you away from me and poisoned your mind.” She points a perfectly manicured pink nail at you. “So I decided to bring you here so you could help me kill her.”

“I’m sorry rewind-“ You say holding up a hand. “You brought Ben here? How?"

"I found a website while I was looking at destination weddings." She shrugs.

"There are websites about traveling through different universes that show up in the search engine-" Dean begins to say.

"DON'T QUESTION ME!" The girl shrieks and the entire room begins to shake.

"And you wanted Ben to be here because?" You haven’t lowered your gun. Frankly you had no idea what her powers were. She looked more like she would start tap dancing down the yellow brick road rather than start hurling chunks of the stage at you, but you needed a plan.

“Because we’ll get to share this moment together.” Iris sighs looking over at Ben again, who is just as shell-shocked as he was a moment ago.

“Killing me?”

Iris nods enthusiastically. “We'll make love on top of your dead body and no one will come between us ever again!”

Dean snorts under his breath and you elbow him again, trying not to think of the image.

Please let this be Gabriel messing around with me. Because if it's not my life is officially a joke.

The three of you stand there for a minute looking up at where she prances on the stage in mixed stages of disbelief.

And just as Iris takes a step forward, a sandbag falls on her head. She crumples to the floor like a sack of potatoes as Sam appears in the wings of the stage looking from her to where the three of you are watching.

"You guys okay?" He calls.

"Yeah." Ben shrugs. "Too bad about her though. She was hot."

He's kidding right?

"The crazies always are." Dean adds with a sigh, patting him on the back.

"I'm so happy the two of you are having this bonding moment, truly I am, but-" You begin to say, turning your back to the stage, but as soon as you do Sam goes flying across the room and into one of the fern plants.

"That was so uncool!" Iris squeals, hovering over the stage, her hands glowing an unnatural magenta color. "Ben and I are meant to be together, we're soulmates, perfect, fated, destined, and no one is going to stand in my way."

The entire room begins to tremble with the force of her anger, dust floats down from the ceiling as it begins to crack and crumble under her powers. You can feel the warmth of Ben's skin as he begins to power up the beam in his chest, burning through the air like a supernova.

There's a crackling sound that comes from above and you look up to see a giant piece of the ceiling falling in slow motion towards your body. Dean shouts your name, but he sounds far away, the sound ringing through the few seconds that you still have left before it crushes you.

But the hit doesn't come from above, it comes from the side.

Dean tackles you, just as the piano sized piece hits the ground where you had been standing a second ago, to the ground, cradling your head in his hands. Your bodies tumble into the moth eaten carpets as Ben explodes, the heat and power of the beam causing more of the room to fall around the two of you.

There's a terrible high pitched wail that's cut off abruptly mid scream and you don't need to be a genius to know what or rather who it was.

Dean covers your body with his and your hands come up under his arms to hold him tighter to you. You bury your face into the warmth of his coat where his throat and his shoulder meet with a whimper as everything around the two of you shudders and shakes. He doesn't pull away, his muscles tensing as he tightens his grip around you, his own face buried in your hair.

The room continues to shake and fall apart in the aftermath of the blast, dust and ash rising in clouds. But you can’t see any of it, Dean's body is shielding you from the room as it crumbles around the two of you, tucking you further beneath him the longer it goes on, making it impossible for anyone or anything to hurt you.

You could feel something curling in the pit of your stomach the longer you laid there under him, an odd feeling that you'd tried to push down whenever you were around Dean, a warmth that begins to spread like wildfire through your body everywhere the two of you are touching. His body is warm and heavy, but it's not oppressive, it lays over you protective and unyielding in the wake of the destruction.

The smell of him invades your senses, a mix of gunmetal, leather, and a spicy scent that tickled your nose. You'd smelled Dean's shampoo before, when it wafted out of the bathroom as you walked down the hallway, imprinting itself in your mind. It was how the impala smelled, always like Dean, and with it brought a feeling of comfort that you'd never known before.

It was odd.

"Are you okay?" Dean whispers, and you can feel the rumble of his words through his chest where it's touching you, his hips laying in the cradle of your thighs. He pulls back to look at your face, the rough grate of his stubble catching your chin as he does so. His eyes are wide with worry and it's the first time that you'd ever seen him look at you that way.

Dust and ash caught in his hair in graying clumps, sticking to the shortened brownish gold strands, the ones that were just a little shorter than Ben's. You longed to run your fingers through, to feel if it was as soft as it looked.

"I think so." You murmur, not used to the weight of his body on top of yours, but you're also trying not to notice how a part of you liked it. "Are you okay?" Your fingertips trail against the smooth leather of his jacket, working up to the back of his head, feeling just the subtle brush of the hair at the nape of his neck.

You don't miss the soft sigh that rushes out of Dean's chest when you do that, fueling the fire that was spreading in the pit of your stomach.

What is happening?

"Yeah." Dean's fingers brush your hair from your face, so quickly that you think you missed it, but the burn of his skin over your cheeks is the only reminder. You gasp softly with the movement, confused as to why Dean was acting this way, why he was worried about you, and why you liked it. Your arms are still wrapped around his body, fingers curled into the back of his leather jacket, but Dean makes no move to get up, he continues to look at you.

You'd never seen Dean look at you like that, look at you as if he wished to understand you, as if he saw you. No one had ever looked at you that way in your entire life.

"Dean!" You hear Sam yell from somewhere, followed by your own name.

It jolts Dean out of wherever his mind is and he gets off of you, but he helps you to your feet, one of his warm calloused hands taking yours to pull you up before dropping it as if he didn't do it in the first place.

The room is destroyed. The roof has completely caved in allowing the rain to soak through the remaining seats of the auditorium and into the musty carpets. The stage no longer exists, all that remains is a black blob of what you're sure used to be Iris, and although a part of you feels bad about the turn of events, you can't help but feel a little relieved.

She was going to kill me. You think to avoid the wave of guilt that washes over you.

"Ding dong the witch is dead." Dean mutters under his breath, but it doesn't make you feel better.

Fires burn over the edges of the stage, small and controlled, but sending rivulets of smoke into the air. You knew it meant that the fire department would be here any minute and that's the last thing you wanted to explain. That and the body on the stage.

Ben stumbles to his feet a few steps away from Dean and you, pushing off a piece of roofing that must have landed on top of him. His suit is covered in dust and drywall, but he looks okay. He's got that far-away look in his eye he always does after he uses his power.

You step towards him to make sure he's okay, but Dean stands in your way.

"Are you out of your mind?" Dean snarls at Ben.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Ben snaps.

"You almost killed us! Almost killed her!" Dean gestures towards you.

"I fixed the problem." Ben rolls his eyes and glances to you, as if trying to reassure himself that you're okay. You knew that Ben might have wanted to only have a physical relationship with you, but you knew that he did care about you in his own way. "You okay sweetheart?" He pushes past Dean, gently touching your face, tilting it up to his. "Did you hit your head?"

"No. I'm okay." You smile tightly at him, but a part of you can still feel the ghost of Dean's fingertips trailing against your cheeks to push away your hair and feel the weight of his body over yours. "Are you okay?" You ask, noting the way his eyes still are a little unfocused.

"Course I am." Ben scoffs. "Takes a little more than a building to bring me down doll."

You nod, while Ben's hand still continues to rest on your chin, and just as he leans down for a kiss, you see Dean's face in the corner of your eye and finally you're able to identify the emotion reflected in his gaze. It's the same emotion that you saw in the car when he stared at you in the rearview mirror. It's the first time that you've ever seen Dean look at you that way in all the years you'd known him.

It's hurt that flashes behind the green eyes you knew so well, shifting to jealousy on around the darkened edges the longer he looks at Ben and you.

And when Ben's lips touch yours, you feel guilt begin to creep along your skin and extinguish the sparks you'd felt moments ago in the pit of your stomach.

A/N: I'm not going to lie, I did not mean for this part to be a little sad... but oh my word 😭 BUT I also promise that the next chapter will have a happy ending ❤️

Thank you so much for reading! Likes, Reblogs, and Comments are not required, but are always appreciated. I love hearing what y'all think! If you'd like to be added to the taglist for Part 3 please let me know!

Taglist:

@roseblue373 @mrsjenniferwinchester @livya99 @zepskies

@winchesterwild78 @ladykitana90 @spnfamily-j2 @whyyouegg

@suckitands33 @pizzagirlxnsfwx @s0uz4s @schinug @just-levyy

@xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @minas-fantasies @ladysparkles78

@mochminnie @peachhiz @impala67stellawinchester @nancymcl @lunaleah

@lightdancingwords @kamisobsessed @justwhisperingfantasies

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kashverse · 9 hours ago

Text

umbrellas are, without a doubt, mankind’s magnum opus. rain? blocked. sun? deflected. want to look like a brooding protagonist in a slow-motion film sequence? pop that thing open and stride dramatically. a/n: read till the end to see choso's temu collab <3

unfortunately, this universal truth is lost on gojo, who believes his infinity is a catch-all solution to every problem in life, including weather. does it keep the rain off him? sure. does it do the same for you? absolutely not. but does he realize this? of course not. so while he’s smugly holding you close, humming some dumb love song and talking about how "this is just like those k-dramas, huh, babe?" you are actively getting drenched. fast forward two days later—you’re curled up in bed, tissues piling up like a battlefield, and gojo is wailing as if he’s the one on death’s doorstep. “my baby is dying,” he cries to shoko over the phone, who is ignoring him as she eats her lunch. it doesn’t matter that you told him it was just a mild cold. gojo is now hand-feeding you soup with the solemnity of a man who thinks he is on his last day of service. *“i should’ve—sniff—bought an umbrella.” you have half a mind to hit him with the spoon.

geto, on the other hand, is a man of preparation and, for some reason, exclusively stocks clear umbrellas. like, exclusively. open his closet and you will find nothing but a neat, borderline concerning collection of transparent umbrellas, stacked like they’re waiting for a government-distributed evacuation plan. does he use them all? yes. does he need that many? no. when you question him, he simply shrugs and says, “it’s aesthetic.” but the aestheticism fades a little when the two of you are forced to walk under the blazing summer sun, grumbling like old men because the clear plastic is offering exactly zero protection from UV rays. "we’re gonna get so tanned,” you whine. “we’ll be fine,” he reassures, though he looks about one minute away from passing out. why doesn’t he just buy a regular umbrella? you may never know.

toji, meanwhile, gives you the slow blink of a man who has never voluntarily used an umbrella in his life. if you ask him where his umbrella is, he will blink at you like a lizard sunning itself on a rock and say, "what’s an umbrella?" except he’s joking, but also not really. the thing about toji is that he fundamentally does not care about the weather. if it rains, it rains. if it shines, it shines. he has completed jobs in typhoons, sprinted through downpours to reach you in the middle of the night when you were anxious, and once walked through a literal snowstorm to buy a six-pack. weather is an inconvenience only for the weak. that is until his philosophy backfires and he ends up with a sunburn so severe he’s walking around the house hissing like a vampire, or with a cold so bad that every time he blows his nose, he sounds like a goose fighting for its life. and now he’s grumpy about it. "should’ve used an umbrella," you tell him sweetly as you rub aloe on his peeling shoulders. he grumbles something unintelligible and sulks like a big, overgrown toddler.

nanami is the only one among them who has fully mastered the art of umbrella ownership. you don’t even have to ask if he has one; the answer is always yes. he has one for every occasion. he carries a primary umbrella, a backup umbrella in his bag, and if you check his office drawer, there’s probably another one neatly folded away just in case. he whips it out at the farmers' market, during evening strolls, and most impressively, in a street fight. if you’ve ever seen a man turn an umbrella into a lethal weapon, nanami is that man. he can and will beat the shit out of someone with it. “it’s a tool,” he says simply. and honestly, who are you to argue?

choso, however, is firmly in the raincoat camp. umbrellas make his hands hurt, so he skips the struggle entirely and commits to full rain protection like a man on a mission. the problem arises when he starts browsing for new raincoats and sees children wearing character-themed ones. next thing you know, he is holding up two sanrio-themed raincoats from temu, grinning ear to ear. "they glow in the dark when they get wet," he says proudly. they allegedly glow. allegedly. you do a quick google search and find out they might actually contain enough lead to take down a fully grown man. "choso, you are not wearing that." but he already bought it. and now he’s standing in the rain, in a kuromi-themed raincoat that is possibly a biohazard, smiling like he’s the peak of fashion.

sukuna, much like toji, does not give a single damn about rain or shine. it could be pouring or blisteringly hot, and he’d still be doing whatever he wants, unaffected and unbothered. however, if the weather starts personally inconveniencing him—like preventing him from stretching out in his favorite sunspot like some oversized demon cat—he will glare at the sky itself and, somehow, it will fix itself. it doesn’t rain if sukuna doesn’t want it to. the sun won’t shine if he says so. when you ask him how he does it, he just shrugs. "i just do." you don’t push for answers. you’re a little scared to.

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yandere-sins · 3 days ago

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Hi there long time lurker here for you blog and all your works! I'm not kidding its been a long time and I love your writings. May I request a Jiaoqiu x vidyadhara reader who is a sassy noble person with a sweet and kind heart but she somehow got severely injured?

Thanks for requesting, I'm so glad that you enjoy my blog enough to ascend from the lurking stage! :D Hope to hear more from you in the future!!

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

♡ It's unlikely that Jiaoqiu is the first person to hear about your injury; however, he's the first one you see by your side once you open your eyes again. He sits there, stern-faced, ears twitching. His hand is holding yours almost a bit too tight, with some of his fingers resting on top of your pulse as if he's afraid you'll slip from his grasp. But you don't get the time to ask him why he looks so sullen because he jumps up and calls out to you the second he notices you waking up. Although he hovers over you when it becomes clear that you have regained your conscience, there is a certain distance between you two, and you can't really understand why. Even if you ask if something is the matter, he won't tell you, brushing you off and leaving if you insist on speaking about it. Not for long, just to cool off. After all, he still has to make sure you're fed and taken care of. Jiaoqiu won't allow anyone else to make your food, and he has to be in the room to review any medicine you receive.

♡ The reason why it feels that he's distant is because he is so angry. Angry at you, angry at the circumstances that put you in danger, and the most angry at anyone who hurt or allowed you to get hurt. Jiaoqiu is trying to keep his feelings in check in front of you, but he always knew things would play out like this. Countless times, he told you how reckless you were. That, no matter how good your heart was, you never thought twice before putting your life on the line. You find him flexing his fingers at the murderous thoughts in his mind or have him touch you just a tad too harshly when the feelings interfere with your treatment. He wants to throw all these accusations and emotions at you but refrains. You are a patient, and your recovery is more important to him than anything else.

♡ Especially when your recovery forms you into an adorable little mess for him to figure out. Vidyadhara are tricky organisms, and Jiaoqiu does everything he has to learn from Bailu how to treat you properly and then use the knowledge to the best of his abilities. He spends almost more time on research than actually treating you, but he won't allow a single mistake. Nobody is allowed to treat you except him, so you are also counting on him, only adding more pressure. It's all worth it, though, when he can observe you slowly regain your strength and liveliness, the bruises turning back into your skin color and your wounds closing up. No matter how much sleep he loses over it, he wouldn't miss the nights he spends with you for anything; protecting your sleep, slipping into your bed and cuddling with you when the nightmares act up, and getting to be with you when you wake up in the morning, feeling a little better every day.

♡ For a while, your conditions are a blessing as he gets to take care of you properly. Even just the mundane things, like brushing your hair or helping you wash up and dress yourself, thrill Jiaoqiu. It's almost a little sad that it has to end. He wants you to be healthy again, he really does! But won't you get yourself in trouble again once you don't need to be on bed rest? Won't you fight again, argue again? Are you going to keep coming back more beat-up than the last time for him to fix? Of course, someone as observant as he is notices your growing restlessness and desire to be up and of help. But this is not just about your self-preservation anymore, it is also about him. What will Jiaoqiu do if, one day, you just don't return at all?

♡ He can push these thoughts aside for a while since it takes time for you to be up and running again. But you begin slipping out of his grasp too quickly for his liking. And when you refuse to even be fed any more, telling him you are ready to go back to "normal" food, Jiaoqiu has to make a decision. "One last meal together," he tells you. One more, and he won't complain about you taking control of your own life again. He insists you take another spoon and another—enough so that the sleeping pill can really take effect.

♡ A patient who's still barely able to wake up can't be released from his care, right? You'll probably not feel so great the next few days, and he can't have you collapse in the street. Jiaoqiu has to at least find out the cause! He tells himself it's only for a few more days. Just one more week. He is merely prolonging the bedrest until you are fully healed—many would beg for a chance to get some good rest, and surely you will appreciate it, too. It's all in your best interest, but he certainly doesn't mind spending some extra cuddle time with you, doting on his favorite person.

♡ And while you are asleep, and he knows you are in a stable condition, he can finally take care of the actual problems that caused you so much harm. Because he still can't and refuses to forgive anyone who put their marks on you and made you suffer. They don't deserve his mercy, and he has feelings that he still needs to flush out of his system so he can give you the love and affection you deserve. Jiaoqiu will make things right, so they won't come to bite you in the butt once you are keeping yourself busy again. Even if it'll take a while longer for you to be back on your feet—that gives him enough time to prolong these wretched people's torture as long as they deserve.

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pinkiemachine · 2 days ago

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Hi- it's the anon who asked about potential Dami love interests. I'd LOVE to hear more!!!

*cracks knuckles*

Dear little Damian is a troubled soul, and sadly he takes after both his parents. A travesty, I know. When trying to root around the comics and surrounding media for that one perfect love interest that everyone agrees on, I didn’t find anything except maybe Flatline, but even that’s not unanimous, and I myself am part of the reason it’s not unanimous. When I thought about it reeeally hard, I realised why the idea of putting Damian in a relationship at all has felt so tricky up until now. In short: kid’s messed up and probably shouldn’t be dating at all. A travesty, I know.

But I didn’t let that stop me!

I’m just kidding, I did, BUT THEN I had a BETTER idea!

Ahem, ahem…

Chapter 1:

In my AU, the story goes like this: Damian had never given love a second thought. He was told that one day he would need to marry to continue the Al Ghul bloodline, but nothing more. Actually, it was entirely possible that he would wind up in an arranged marriage, so it was something he really, really hadn’t bothered to think about. Then, when he turned 14, he joined the Teen Titans as their leader and met Princess Amethyst. Heir to the throne of Gemworld, temporarily on Earth due to story shenanigans, but must go back home eventually to reclaim her kingdom.

Amethyst (or Amy) became a member of the TT shortly after arriving on Earth, and at first, Damian purely saw her as an underling, but Amethyst, oh, she didn’t stand for that. See, she was raised in the courts of the Gem Palace. She had received the best education money could buy, she had been personally tutored in magic since the age of four, and she was a well-bred young lady. Whenever Damian wanted to, he got lippy and snarky and smarter-than-you toward just about anyone, but when he did it to Amy, he got back what he served and then some. Amy didn’t shrink from his angry, snide tone, she didn’t hesitate when he got philosophical or witty, she could spit facts and wax poetically as fast as he could, and she didn’t take any of his insults lying down. The other Teen Titans would often stand on the sidelines in fear and morbid entertainment as they watched the two of them go back and forth, arguing for hours sometimes. Honestly, if you asked any of them if Damian and Amy got along, they’d probably tell you they were mortal enemies. And yet, both of them found themselves willingly plunging into each argument as if they had been eagerly awaiting it. As if this other person was the first person in a long time who could actually stand on their intellectual level and not bat en eye.

Well, a few missions go by and this remains the status quo. No major relationship changes of any kind, just lots of back and forth banter.

BUT THEN—

The TT were on one mission in particular and it involved a shapeshifter. It’s nighttime, the team is in this big old abandoned building, they know this shapeshifter character is around somewhere, then they get attacked, and the group is split. Damian and Amethyst wind up alone. Together. In a section of the building. Amy suddenly appears distraught. She turns to Damian, blinking her big eyes, and while no one else is around to hear her she asks if he’s ever… felt for another person before. Damian… stares blankly at her. “Uh…” (Internally, warning bells are blaring, and he doesn’t know what to do.) Amy comes closer to him, and asks him if he’s ever felt… like he wanted to kiss someone before. Damian continues to stare blankly. “Uh…” (Inwardly, there are no more thoughts, only panic and melt down! He was never trained for this!) Amy hesitates, feeling sure that he wouldn’t understand, and for a moment, Damian thinks he’s in the clear, but then Amy changes her mind, musters her courage, and kisses him! Goosebumps. Hair standing on end. Fireworks. The whole shebang! …And then Damian falls unconscious. Yeah, that wasn’t Amethyst. That was the shapeshifter! It’s Nobody, by the way 👇 Yeah, I wanted to give her shapeshifting, because I think it would be cool for her character and other plot related reasons… see previous.

Anyway, so Damian wakes up after the mission, having been totally blindsided by Nobody, tricking him into kissing who he thought was Amy, and now he doesn’t know what to do with all that! So he pretends it never happened. No one else needs to know. And yet, he can’t help but feel some type of way whenever Amy walks by. He can’t even argue with her anymore—it makes him feel too weird! So he starts avoiding her like the plague. He doesn’t talk to her, he doesn’t look at her, she might as well not exist to him! And this… was not the smartest idea.

Ever since joining the team and meeting Damian, Amy’s felt the full sting of his insults and attacks. She’d never admit it, of course, and she tries her best to not let him get to her, but after weeks and weeks and weeks of this, she’d be lying if she said his words didn’t chip away at her heart just a little bit, wearing down her self esteem. And now, with Damian ignoring her, it only made things worse. He hated her. She was sure of it. He hated her and he wished she had never joined the team, and maybe it would better if she’d never come at all. Again, she locked these feelings away, trying her best to ignore them, but they were still there, waiting for their opportunity to make a mess, and make a mess they did.

It all came to a head after the TT came back from a botched mission. Damian was in a particularly bad mood and was tearing into some of his teammates, lecturing them about what they did wrong, and then Amy stepped up to defend them. That was the first time in weeks Damian acknowledged her, and he was savage. He didn’t pull any punches—he said aloud every single thing Amy most dreaded to hear. “You’re a burden to this team! You don’t know what you’re doing! It would be better if you’d never come to Earth at all!” Everything short of saying “I hate you.” And Amy… usually so resilient and proud and strong… finally broke. Tears slipped out before she could stop them, and she ran from the room, embarrassed. The other Titans were furious with Damian, and went to go console Amy. Even Jon, who tried his best to be patient with his friend because he knew about his awful upbringing, couldn’t defend him this time. He’d gone too far and been unnecessarily mean to someone who had only ever tried to be his friend. Jon was going to go join the others consoling her.

Damian flew back to Gotham in a rage. He spent three hours on the training course, then went up to his room and slammed the door shut. Alfred could see what was wrong the moment he set foot in the house, so he called Nightwing, hoping that the two of them could have a little chat. And chat they did. They snuck out on patrol together and Dick prodded the truth out of Damian, but he insisted that he hadn’t done anything wrong! Amy overreacted! It wasn’t his fault! Dick had to have a very long talk with him that night, and what Damian took away from it was this: Amy was his teammate, but more than that she was his friend. He can’t go around insulting her and making her cry, and the only way to stop being mean to her is to learn how to care about her and her feelings. This is a difficult concept for Damian to grasp.

The next day, Damian goes to Jon and asks him about “caring.” How does one do it? Jon does his best to explain, though he doesn’t put it quite so eloquently, and then he asks why Damian wants to know. Is this about Amy? Hmm? Does he want to care about Amy? Does he secretly like Amy? HMMM???

Damian reacts with nothing but hostility at first, rejecting such an utterly ridiculous idea, but then… he remembers the night he thought he had kissed Amy… and then he started recalling so many other things about Amy… things he admired about her… and he had to take a step back. Holy cow. He did like her. He made Jon swear to never, ever tell anyone about this under any circumstances, ever. This was a secret he would take to his grave. Especially since… Amy would leave one day, anyway. She had her kingdom to go home to. Rule as queen…

So following that conversation, Damian then goes to find Amy and apologise to her, but it doesn’t go well. Amy wants the truth out of him. No more insults or arguments or beating around the bush, she wanted to know exactly what Damian really thought of her. The truth! But Damian couldn’t tell her. She asked again. And again, he just couldn’t tell her. She left him, saying “I’ll think about accepting your apology.”

For a while, nothing more was said about it. An uneasy peace had been negotiated between the two, and while their constant ignoring of one another left the rest of the team feeling uneasy, it was at least a small improvement from constant arguing.

Finally, something came along to help set things right. During one of the big season finales, Amethyst is in mortal danger. Damian, seeing no other alternative, dives headfirst into danger, taking a bullet for her and saving her life. Amethyst refused to leave his bedside while he recovered, but once he did wake up, she made herself scarce. She was beyond grateful to him, but she couldn’t tell him that. To his face, anyway. Damian knew she was just beyond the med room door, though. He understood how she felt, and he knew the flowers by his bed were from her. He’d never appreciated flowers more in his life. But he couldn’t tell her that. Not to her face, anyway.

From that day on, Damian and Amy were on continuously improving terms, and every once in a while it wasn’t unusual for one or the other to find a gift left for them in their room or their Titans locker. Small things, usually. Get-well-soon gifts after getting injured in battle for example. They argued less, but they still never spoke to one another. Casually, that is. During missions, it was a necessity, but now they found themselves agreeing on battle strategies instead of butting heads all the time. The rest of the team was speechless.

However, all good things must come to an end. By the end of the Ultimate Teen Titans run, Amethyst’s kingdom is saved, and it’s time for her to go home and become queen. She can no longer be a Teen Titan. As she stands by the portal, waiting to take her home, she says one final goodbye to all her friends she’s come to love over the course of her stay. Lorena and Jenny… Jon, Jaime, and Virgil… and then there’s Damian. Team Captain. She gave hugs to all the others, but when she gets to Damian, she falters. In the end, all she can muster is a handshake, and all Damian can think to do is accept it. She says goodbye. He says goodbye. Even though there’s much more they wanted to say… it almost felt too cruel to say it now, on the verge of her leaving. So, Amy turns and starts walking… but that’s when Damian felt his heart pounding in his chest. He knew he’d regret not saying something now while he could—he needed to say something quickly!

“Amy!”

She turned around at once, hoping desperately that he would say the words they had both left hanging in the air. She wanted him to tell her not to go… he wanted to beg her to stay… but…

“…I… take care of yourself…”

At once, Amy’s spirits fell so low, it was just unbearable. With a quivering lip, she gave him a smile, said, “You too,” and then vanished into the portal.

Damian was left standing there, still in shock.

Over the course of the next few weeks, Bruce would routinely go looking for Damian and find him in his room, curled up on the floor by his fireplace. Titus the Great Dane was usually close by. Damian would never admit it in a million years, but Bruce knew he had been crying, at least the first time, right after Amy had left. After that… he was in a deep depression and barely ate, barely slept, and barely went outside. He would get back into the swing of things eventually—he was the son of Batman and Talia Al Ghul for pity’s sake—but for those few weeks… while he was alone… he was just a 14-year-old boy who was beating himself up over missing his last shot to tell Amy… he loved her. And now she was gone forever.

End of Chapter 1.

#dc #dc comics #batman #bat family #damian wayne #robin #teen titans #au #fan fiction

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42ap · 2 days ago

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Talking about the differences in their relationship with desire again, I think it's fascinating how this difference influences their actions.

Stanley usually finds it relatively easy to get what he wants, and he doesn’t want that many things to begin with. Because of this, whenever he does want something, he acts on it immediately and with great enthusiasm to satisfy that desire. Want an electronic badger? Go out after dark and steal one—that kind of thing.

At first glance, it might seem like Stanley spends a lot of time chasing after what he wants, making him appear “greedy.” But in my view, for someone who doesn’t want much to begin with, accepting and pursuing desire is simply an enjoyable experience. You act, you get what you want, and you’re happy—it’s a positive cycle. It’s like how a 16-year-old craving fried chicken is an everyday, even unhealthy, occurrence. But an old lady with no teeth craving fried chicken? If she gets to eat it, everyone around her would be happy for her, because having a desire, and being able to easily fulfill it, is already a joyful thing. Not every old lady is so lucky—just a couple of bites of fried chicken can make her day.

For Stanley, pursuing his desires is undoubtedly a positive feedback loop. Especially after turning 30, when his life stabilized, things generally went well—except for anything related to Ford. Everything else he wanted, he could get. And if getting what he wanted made him happy, then of course he would keep chasing after those things immediately.

Ford, on the other hand, is completely different. He wants too much. He is always chasing after something, always pursuing a dream. But as soon as he gets what he wants, it loses its value because it’s now within reach, and new desires take its place, always distant and unattainable. Everything must feel terrible for him because, in his eyes, he has never truly gotten anything he wanted.

So his relationship with desire is deeply negative. To him, "wanting something" is a feeling that must be fought against—because desire comes with risk, consequences, and lack of control. It doesn’t bring happiness. Trying to fulfill desires only leads to exhaustion (though he is still hopelessly hooked on his “save the world” dream). Whenever a new desire arises, he locks it away in a mental prison, refusing to even look at it. He doesn’t evaluate whether it’s realistic or not, whether it’s saving the world or just a better-tasting cup of coffee—it all gets thrown into the same cell.

But not actively pursuing desires and not thinking about what one wants are two different things. If someone hands him a cup of coffee he wants, Ford wouldn’t refuse it. I think he has simply lived so long believing he can never have what he truly wants that he’s developed a kind of learned helplessness—or, to put it in a more flattering way, caution. He doesn’t really not want things.

If someone takes the first step, throws the opportunity in front of him, and he sees that it’s actually achievable, Ford would be the type to fully commit to making it happen. He has an incredible ability to act, a terrifying level of persistence, and the patience to see things through.

Honestly, I’m just saying all this because I really love the idea of old Stanley realizing he has feelings for Ford. At first, he’s happy but cautious, carefully testing the waters. But then he finally discovers that Ford has always liked him, has never stopped liking him—not just now, but since they were kids. He never truly let go of those feelings.

It’s just such a good flavor.

#gravityfalls #stanpines #fordpines #stancest #pinesbrothers

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arwensarboretum · 2 days ago

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I think another thing to consider with regards to grief, especially in the case of Alan and Gordon is the loss of their mother. Obviously Jeff's death took a big toll on everyone and it results in some really unhealthy coping as the boys persist in eternal optimism that maybe they'll find him one day, which is contrasted with the harsh and completely certain death of their mother. There is no "maybe" there. No matter what iteration of Thunderbirds we're viewing, Lucille Tracy is gone. Alan and Gordon would have complicated relationships with that as they were undoubtably young when it happened - Alan noted he was even starting to forget Jeff so there is definitely memory gaps in regards to Lucille there, but it means that the boys have two very different takes on death - one where it is final and over and nothing can be done, and the other where there's still some hope. And I think that contrast propels them into the infinite optimism, not only BECAUSE Jeff started IR as a result of Lucille's death and literally taught the boys how to have radical hope in the face of death and that they should never stop fighting for life until it's too late because they know concretely what too late looks like, but also because it's a way of keeping Jeff alive, and honouring his beliefs, carrying forward his legacy. I think Jeff, in many ways, seeded the radical hope in them - that there's always something they can keep trying to do until it's too late, and unless they see a body, it's hard to accept that it is too late. I think the persistent blind hope isn't a coping mechanism formed out of just grief, I think it's also there because Jeff taught them that response.

This kinda got off track, so circling back to Lucille: the boys also know how to grieve someone who's gone permanently. Scott, John and Virgil are all (at least headcanoned as being) old enough to remember Lucille and have her be an important impact in their lives and losing her did teach them more about proper and healthy grief in regards to how they coped with her death. No one was trying to bring her back and nothing would have. And I think that reality stays with the boys and sits with them too and to some degree there is healthy grieving that happens and the younger boys aren't only learning unhealthy coping mechanisms from their older siblings.

Of course, this is mostly head canon as the show really doesn't delve in Lucille basically at all (TOS literally doesn't mention her and in the movie we have a conversation and a picture), but the implication of her presence and loss is always there and I think if the shows had decided to delve into Lucille more we could have gotten a more balanced or healthier view of grief and coping with the loss of a loved one. Admittedly, the creators never focused on it, but I think it's there.

P.S. Grandma and Kyrano (mentioned but never shown) also display more healthy expressions of grief. Grandma is clearly sad whenever she talks about Jeff but she's also so proud of him. She loves telling stories about him and telling the boys how much like their dad they are and how he'd be proud of them. She remembers him well and uses him as a way to support the boys, but she never desperately clings to his memory or tries to bring him back. She doesn't discourage the search for Jeff but she doesn't go out of her way to push it forward either, except when they have reasonable proof that he at least could be alive. Lee Taylor has a similar take. They miss Jeff and they love Jeff but they can accept his absence.

Grandma even enjoys telling stories about the boys' mother in Home on the Range. She has a level head about grief and is modelling healthy coping to the boys.

Kyrano isn't seen at all and we know he's absent from the Island and has been since Jeff's disappearance, so we can't know how well he's doing or not, but we know that he left. Sometimes, in the face of grief, change is helpful. While we don't know the nature of the change, it's at least demonstrating to the boys that sometimes when things go wrong, you need to do something different to help you grow in new ways to gain perspective, and while I can't make this claim with certainty because of the lack of information, I think the lessons at least COULD be there. And I think that's worthwhile too.

Now that I think about it...

In TAG the fact all of the Tracy family still believed that Jeff could be alive is really unhealthy. Like if we are being realistic, they watched their dad get blown up. They searched for ages, and they did everything they could for years. But getting to the 8 year mark and still not having closure, must have wrecked them. I know it sounds bad, but it would have been far more rational if they just grieved his death like it was a real death and gave up looking for what only could have been a body. I know it's not necessarily a choice to just let someone go, but the fact the Tracy Brothers (specifically Scott and Virgil) were saying they were going to find him, is just wow. Obviously, it's great they didn't give up because well, you know. But still...I think about that a lot.

#thunderbirds 2015 #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #jeff tracy #lucille tracy #grief #the tracy brothers #grandma tracy #Kyrano

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p5-apotelesma · 2 days ago

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Hello!

I wanted to share with you my thoughts about Persona 5 Royal because I love your rants!

So, Ryuji sees Ren as his bestie and hates Akechi for attempting to kill his friend and hurting the group in general. But then, Ryuji has to see how Ren is kinda becoming a rlly good friend with Akechi and he must be so confused on what to think!

Like he knows Akechi was an a**hole but now he is Ren's friend and kinda taking the place Ryuji had in Ren's life!

He must have felt a lot of conflicted emotions, and I want to see your thoughts about this

hi!!! very cool that you like my ramblings and thanks so much for saying so. and for sharing your thoughts with me!! i enjoy the chance to chit chat,, though i might struggle to gather all my thoughts together coherently

ryuji and goro have very VERY different relationships with ren. and each holds their own place in rens heart. and theyre both so precious to him. ren met ryuji and it was like standing in the warm sun after being cold and in the dark for so long and flowers bloomed in their chest. and meeting goro was a different kind of thrill. it was a game of wits. it was heart pounding and motivating. whatever souls are made of yours and mine are the same (for better and for worse)

ryujis relationship with akechi has a TON of potential. they have a lot in common.,, ryuji starts off seeing goro as some snobby bootlicker who would sell them to satan for a cornchip. and goro sees ryuji as a tactless fool with hot air between his ears. but while working with them. he, against his better judgement, and despite ryujis reservations as well. they start to see each other a bit different.

goro is not immune to Ryuji Charms and Ryuji is more emotionally intelligent than most give him credit for and he can stand in solidarity with goro as someone else who has suffered greatly at the hands of adults who should have helped him. and yeah, the whole thing is very conflicting.

i dont think ryuji would see goro as a threat to his place as rens best friend, mostly because it. isnt really clear if the gang knows just how close ren and akechi become until later. how much they regularly talk and hang out and understand each other. like,, the gang might think its a keep your friends close and your enemies closer sort of thing. that its all pleasantries. that this is all part of them playing goro as goro tries to play them. and be varying degrees of surprised at how much ren seems to grieve him after he disappears.

i think when goro joins the team theyre surprised by how familiar they act with each other. (what do you mean you gave him a Thieves Club bracelet and a cute endearment MONTHS AGO ren this is the enemy!!) of course ren and goro try to keep things low key. cause they both know whats coming. but. it becomes clearer. just how close ren has allowed himself to be to the resident backstabbing shitbird. and ryuji is like. hey ren whats the deal. what the hell. because hello?? look at what goro has done and what he plans to do. (hes worried for rens wellbeing moreso than anything else)

at that point, i can see him being very curious about their friendship. ren says theyre rivals but just how close are they? what do they do when they hang out and what do they talk about? he doesnt expect ren to spill a lot cause hes a private person. and then he asks. hey. but im still your best friend, right? and ren is like firefly my bruhloved no one could ever take the place of you. and ryujis like. alright cool. love you too, mia. be careful... (im here for you.)

and ryuji and the rest of the gang try, as their comfort dictates, to bring goro into the fold and be friendly with him. ryuji wants to know why ren likes him so much as much as goro wonders why ren likes ryuji so much. and the only way to find out is to try and hang out with the guy. ryuji is surprised at how athletic goro is and extends invitations to run or bike with him. they dont really get much chance to know each other better except as team mates on the battlefield. they sure arent what one another would consider friends. and yet by the end ryuji is the guy to tell a broken goro "man, youre more than special." and "youre your own person, you gotta know that" because thats the kind of guy ryuji is. and goro cant wrap his head around it (this is why hes rens second!!! and the heart of the pt!! dummy!!!) ryuji didnt want goro to die! he pounded on that door and called him an idiot!! they can be friends!! i see the vision!!! and this is my city!!! and like. post games i very much see goro and ryuji as like. coworkers at Loving Ren Inc. SDKHFSDF and ren has two hands. the thing is. ren is the kind of friend goro wished he always had, too. and goro takes a Long time to realize that ren is also his best friend. so its very much a chain here. goro: this is my idiot, ren. and this is their idiot, ryuji. (<< pictured, goro getting sucked into the polycule, circa 2018)

also like. ryuji and ren have their own friendly challenges with each other a lot. if anything i think goro is far more likely to get all huffy and be like thats MY rival THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! YOULL NEVER CHALLENGE HIM LIKE I DO. but this fact also acts as a gateway to goro becoming closer to ryuji. like. when they bring goro into their own friendly challenges as a third. it. makes goro feel included. and they bond more. goro finds another rival in ryuji in a completely different way from ren. and theyre both so aggro for rens love and attention. like jealous puppies. and ren has to kiss them to calm them down LMAO

i can go on about them but its shippy this is really long orz

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal #ryuji sakamoto #goro akechi #ren amamiya #p5r #p5 #dont mind me just spreading the #pegoryugoro #agenda #p5 apotelesma #apotelesmeta #ch. ryuji #ch. kogoro #ch. ren #asks

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boneyspades · 2 days ago

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for the sake of Valentine's day, here's some duo SASI headcannons (platonic or romantic (the creativity twins being platonic only cus... yk....))

Logan and Janus play strategy games together whilst drinking wine. they be playing chess and stuff

Virgil and Remus have metal/emo/goth karaoke nights. Remus taught Virgil how to do the metal screamo voice

Patton and Roman have picnics together in the mind palace, they do go to different places but a specific place under a cherry blossom tree next to a pond is Patton's favorite so Roman takes him there the most. it's also his favourite too

Logan and Remus listen to true crime podcasts together. Logan finds them interesting whilst Remus likes the gorey details. Remus sometimes reenact some of the crimes and Logan gets to be the detective.

Janus and Patton go to the pumpkin patch every autumn or Halloween (Halloween is spring here in Australia but I guess that doesn't really apply to this) and they sometimes carve pumpkins and yap

Virgil and Roman have movie nights. they watch tim Burton throughout the night whilst eating popcorn and other snacks. they do this in Roman's bedroom though cus the other sides can't be in Virgil's room for too long

Logan and Patton watch WALL-E together religiously. Logan mostly does it cus 1: he like robots and 2: Patton loves the movie to smithereens and he's all about keeping the heart happy. Patton, whenever walle and eve are on the screen he always goes like "omg it's us :)" and Logan replies with "hm. I suppose they are quite similar to our dynamic"

Janus and Virgil go through forests together. Janus is out there looking for snakes whilst Virgil is out looking for spiders. they don't really talk throughout the journey, except for an occasional "I found a snake, Janus" or a "I found a spider virgil and if you don't hurry I'm gonna eat it" (cus... some snakes eat spiders-) as well as the occasional "my snake/spider could beat your spider/snake"

Roman and Remus have duels every so often. it usually happens like... once a year just to see who's the better brother. sometimes Remus randomly jumps him, catching Roman off guard. he calls it a win but Roman calls it cheating which leads to a "nuh uh" "yuh huh" fight

Logan and Virgil stargaze together. Logan's the one yapping about the constellations whilst Virgil listens. he doesn't mind the sound of Logan's voice. they also listen to Radiohead whilst they do this. I'm dying on this hill. they both listen to Radiohead. fuck U/j

Janus and Remus do crimes together in the mind palace. they're basically Sam and Max freelance police except they are RUNNING FROM the police. they always end up getting a random souvenir from every crime they commit, wether it be a priceless jewel and someones rotting decapitated head.

Roman and Logan go to arcades together. Roman loves them and thought maybe Logan would enjoy them too. they go to one one day and Logan seemed to enjoy the strategic elements to it... so... he enjoyed it. it's then decided that every so often they go to the arcade and get some crofters for the way back

Patton and Virgil play videogames together. they have a whole fuckin bowl of snacks and they play nostalgic games.. like old GameCube, PlayStation, PlayStation 2, Wii, NES etc. Virgil always picks the horror games whilst Patton always picked the chill games. they'd either play coop or take turns

Janus and Roman go shopping together. they go to this big mall and ofc they be the BEST DRESSED THERE. they kinda have a little competition to see who gets the best clothes at the end of their hulls. whoever wins pays for lunch or everything in the next shop they like. sometimes they shoplift, the fascist companies don't need the money

Patton and Remus give eachother plushies... well... PATTON gives Remus plushies, Remus gives Patton taxidermy animals and say they're plushies. they like to do make their own for the other, both doing a little build a bear thing where They give it a heart make a wish whatever. Remus... gives it a real beating heart.... Patton can feel it twitch a little from the inside, but is still grateful to get a gift. Remus also doesn't mind the cute plushies Patton gives

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danmei-confessions · 2 days ago

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i cannot understand most ppl who like bingjiu (luo binghe x shen jiu).

theoretically, i can understand the appeal of them as toxic yaoi even if it doesn't appeal to me personally - adult bingge having a twistex psychosexual fixation on this figure of loathing from his childhood, yeah i understand - the ppl who i dont get are the ones who try to turn it into something sweepingly romantic like bingqiu. sy and sj are different characters. having binghe act a different way in a fic in order to stop original sqq hurting him is gross victim-blamey narratively, but it also just doesn't make sense to me; binghe is not important to shen jiu except as an object of envy and resentment for his seeming inability to fail in his cultivation despite everything. the one who needs to change his behaviour to start the healing and break the cycle for shen jiu is yue qi, not binghe. yue qi is the one who sj thought loved and cared for him when they were both at their lowest, only to believe later it wasn’t true because yqy refused to reveal that he was impulsive and failed him. by now he has given in to and is set in the deepdown belief that the entire rest of the world has beaten into him, that he is an unlovable monster hiding himself behind silk robes and fans - some extraneous prodigy disciple (who he only took in to ruin, to pay him back for getting the opportunity shen jiu didn't, to try and prove to himself that anyone would fall low when under a master with malicious intent) admiring that facade wouldn't matter to him.

and binghe didn't stay a 'white lotus' as a disciple the whole way through his disciplehood, indeed i think a big sum of that appearance was fawning behaviour to try and regain his master's favour, that slowly became the cover for more and more resentment in pidw proper. it was only after literally taking a hit of qi-crippling poison for him that shen qingqiu really managed to fully win binghe over in canon and make the wary hope of his master's attitude change into sincere total care for the man as a figure of love in his life. the original sqq would never have done such a thing, and binghe would never have grown to care enough for the resentful teacher trying to kill him to be willing to look past his abuse and excuse it because of a sob story.

i guess it's just another case of ppl using the characters as dolls to smoosh together rather than trying to base it at least somewhat on canon. i just usually see that in fandoms where the source text is really quite bad so it's only good as a toybox to take characters from. sv is rly good, the pathos for the characters laid out and indirectly implied in the novels and the extras is so compelling, and i can't understand not prefering to try to explore that rather than just making shen jiu into an entirely agencyless meowmeow rather than a man who is willing to choose to be seen as evil and act cruelly, over being without choice and weak and vulnerable (even in the end, he chooses to let himself be imprisoned, chooses to self-destruct before letting someone else force it on him), and bingge isn't just a mindless dog desperate for love /no matter what/. the world - and shen jiu - crushed his childish hope for a peaceful domestic life, now he will crush them and force them to kneel before him in turn (or try to in shen jiu's case). they have parallel issues because it's a self-reproducing cycle violence of ppl being crushed down and having nobody recognise what care they needed and be willing to give it to them.

i suppose it boils down to the fact that other often crack-ily cutesified fanon couples - take gongzhi, or jiuyuan - don't have nearly so complex, so rich a relationship in canon that is such a total antithesis to that treatment. at the end of the day of course i'm not gonna go near these ppls fics, fanarts and ruin their spaces because this is a discussion of fiction not a battlefield, i'm just stating an opinion based on the actual text (which i admittedly adore) and my interpretation of it as of my most recent reread

#danmei confessions #discourse #anti bingjiu #luo bingge #luo binghe #shen jiu #shen qingqiu

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rosesonbreeze · 2 days ago

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"Tony fights anyone who gets between him and the season finale of Love is Blind." Sure, he did it for Anna, for her ever-abundance of loyalty for Aiden. But there's also the reality that Tony's now at Vauxhall, downing shots everytime someone says they're on the island for the "right reasons." Two things can be true. "I didn't start a commotion." Anna lowers her head, like a little girl caught red-handed. No, Aiden's not telling her off. He's echoing her commitment, but still reminding her - there's some things one ought not to do. Getting arrested, or causing a commotion, for one. "And if I did..." By sprinting down the airport, throwing a hundred quid at a kid whose drink she knocked over, and then pouting at an officer...

"I know you'd be there to bail me out." Because Anna may have acted the fairy godmother of the evening. But in every other sense, it's Aiden who sweeps in to save her. Or better yet, show her the way out. The proof is in every new thing she learns to do with him. This is just one of many ways she gives it back, coming closer to brush the nice fabric of his suit. "Or use the nail file on your Swiss army knife and get us both free." Heroes or bandits? The jury's out. Regardless, it's clear now; they only look the part of posh and proper.

Because when Aiden leans in, smelling heavenly and with that look in his eye. With the sort of joke that makes her laugh second, because first, her eyes drop down to the area between his legs. "Fuck me." Anna whispers, eyes wide and brightly scandalized. "And here I thought I just got outta down under." Now, however, her mind's firmly down there...

Which makes her take a half-second longer to register Aiden's answer. "Like, about snow leopards? Or about you and Chelsea?" Documentaries go either way. "I can see that. Like, catching up with Chelsea?" Really, she does it just to tease. Because Aiden can do anything... Except be on a reality TV show.

"Glad you didn't sub in another plus one." Her hand finds his, giving it a small squeeze. "Like Bailey. Or --" Come to think of it, Anna tilts her head; "I should meet some of your friends." Because in the storm of Anna's extroversion, it's assumed she would have met anyone of importance. Yet that's her, not him, and even some need a push.

"You know, friends to watch the game with--" Like Aiden doesn't do that everyday. "Keep you company when I'm away." He's more than capable of taking care of himself. The better one of the pair of them, candidly. And yet, a part of her worries about the long nights spent apart, the dinners eaten alone. "I wanna meet them." Or find them, she thinks. Though, unlikely to find them here.

Aiden follows Anna’s line of sight, wondering if there’s something that he’s missed, that he ought to be wowed by. The thick drapes. The oddly-shaped furnishings. The flashy lights. None of these are truly harmonious when presented together, and yet they all exist for the single purpose of—

“Wait, what?” Curiosity and concern etch into his features. “Tony fought an immigration officer?” Then it really hits him: Anna having your back really means everyone on her speed dial being behind you too. Tony. Petra. Robbie. Possibly a certain major pop star, but he hasn’t seen a matter calling for a test of that. Anyway— he can’t bite back the amusement. “Babe,” he licks his bottom lip as takes to her movement smoothly, as if there isn’t a bigger crowd just a few steps away, “I’d bust my ass to bring the moon closer.” A little teamwork, if he were using more familiar terminology. “—But don’t go getting yourself on any no-fly lists.”

Are those words hypocritical? Yeah. Aiden would throw hands on her behalf. A lot more than that. He knows. And yet he means it all the same, so much so that he adds, “—At least, not without me. Wouldn’t be very Team Ainna of us, would it?” It’s kind of funny, really, the way he’s internalized his latest discovery. Like, he definitely won’t be stepping into any publication’s ’couple feature’ any time soon, but he respects the concept and appreciates a meaningful statement piece.

And then there are other matters of discussion that bear significantly less weight. He leans closer, almost conspiratorially, and whispers, “They’re totally mine.” The nuts, he means. “Been making sure they stay nice and warm. I’ll save ‘em for you.” He just can’t help himself sometimes. Bowing slightly, he lets the rest of the silliness spill out in a quiet chuckle before humming at her question.

“Uhmmm…” The most Aiden-like answer would be ‘no,’ because he genuinely hasn’t found anyone he can imagine himself reaching out to tomorrow. But if he’s branching out of his comfort zone — fully gussied up and giving this affair a fighting chance — he has to say, “I guess? Depends.” It always does. Such is the way of any game. “If we’re talking business, I met a guy who wants to make a documentary.” There’s a better word for it, he’s sure, but his point ought to be clear enough. “If we’re talking personally, I mean…” He thinks Anna’s been to enough of these to know the kind of crowd that appears. He shakes his head. Draws circles on her hip with the pad of his thumb. Earnestly, “I got my girl. That’s as interesting as it’s gonna get.”

#muse: anna #(aiden and anna)#confusionism

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tagarilaghost · 3 months ago

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I SWEAR CELEBI'S THINGY IS COMING SOON BUT I REALLY WANTED TO POST THIS ALRIGHT

yeaah... future trio got me too...

and Darkrai is there too, because of course he is.

hey look i drew a cute Drifloon :D

...ignore the rest

whatever started at Darkrai doodles ended in brainrot of future trio + darkrai and I'm blaming @scribz-ag24 for this

#Can you believe between the first pic and the 4th pic is only a week inbetween. I sure can't but like why did I mirror the pose...#ON ACCIDENT??? Everytime I look at the two Grovyles I'm like... how... how did they end up so differently???#also probably blaming @cozybells as well for this but I really fear tagging people so I'm just letting y'all know in the tags because #I do wanna let everyone know who inspired me when someone did <333 better get running [you know who you are!!!!] DusnoirXDarkrai is next...#also: upon seeing scribz-ag24's art my brain said: You need to color too! ah yeah that went well with the doodle batch #I really hope you're able to read everything with how messy I can write sometimes. If not please let me know and I'll add sth in this post!#Also the doodle batch was the first thing I drew so well... never drew dusknoir before and grovyle once i think...#please go easy on me I have yet to explore the relationship between literally everyone😭 and I have no idea what I‘m doing and I'm a little #lost I normally only draw King Boo or Darkrai but I'm sure scribz-ag24 sprinkling in bits of Darkrai got me in love with the future trio to #grovyle #future trio #celebi #darkrai #dusknoir #pmd hero #pokemon #drifloon #totodile #my art #my stuff #tagas friend spoiler #pmd #pokemon mystery dungeon #IS THERE A SHIP NAME FOR FUTURE TRIO... there must be. ...oh... is it just...#futuretrioshipping #i feel sooo stupid rn.#also everytime i drew darkrai i had evil spiteful bastard in mind (except for the one with an arrow pointing out he's redeemed) but i think #i literally mixed every possible version of him in my head so got absolutely no clue what i'm doing :D #anyways i hope you enjoyed this and thanks for reading through my ramblings! Have such a wonderful rest of the day yippiee <333 #pmd2

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ohana · 6 months ago

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I love that in every scenario that I can picture for the show (DM happened in the past, DM didn't happen in the past, Armand erased his memory, some memories of Daniel and Alice are actually of Daniel and Armand, he did out of spite, he did for other reasons) Daniel is Armand's only exception. His only fledgling, the one for who broke the laws of the vampires (more or less) and himself, the only time he didn't stay as he always does until things explode in his hands (the coven, the marriage with Louis) but ran away. The only one.

#devil's minion #armandaniel #armand x daniel #and I love that is only exception is someone who really see him as who he is under all his lies and bullshits #daniel molloy #iwtv #the vampire armand

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sieglinde-freud · 3 months ago

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i need more non three houses side characters winning cyl tbh bc the lord outfits are so predictable and boring and for three houses all they do is the normal timeskip shit. like, felix and bernadetta’s art looks great, but the designs… come on. weve all seen mortal savant felix. thats literally just bernadetta’s timeskip outfit with added shoulder stuff. bring back queen camilla of nohr. they did something fun with marianne that one time until everyone was like “boo wah i hate creativity and serving cunt” but they need to not listen to the haters. when tharja wins in three years (if we dont hit eos) i want her cosplaying as grima or something like the lizard version

#ann cries about feh #also like. idk #PERSONALLY its very rare that the main lords are my favorite character in any game #sole exception being ss bc eirika and ephraim RAISED ME #but still #anyways most of this was fueled by me thinking about a hypothetical brave inigo #it will never happen bc any chance of him winning was curbstomped by him being a bad unit #except that one year but then someone overshot his unit viability and he became a meme for a bit so #whatever anyways #if he DID win hypothetically the worst thing they could ever do is give him his hero armor and nothing else #not only is the awakening hero armor kind of ugly itd j make me sad #i want him to wear traditional ferox garb #‘what does that even look like’ i have no clue. but they can make it up!!!#or. get this. they mix aesthetics from awakening and nohr and give him a sick combo outfit #and hes like ‘haha yes i go by two names and i love them both. haha do girls like me yet’#like do u see my vision #and then he gets a prf dance bc if marianne can get a dance special he can get a prf dance.#this is all just me daydreaming about my favorite guy in pretty outfits really #he could also wear basilio’s clothes #but i think a basilio outfit variant would go WAYYY harder on brave olivia #who we will also never get. but i think she has a better shot? brave olivia for next year u guys?? huh???#i should check their cyl placements actually but i feel like feh has actually made her more popular?#or intsys just thinks she is. but she keeps getting alts and she was in warriors sooo

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sokkastyles · 2 days ago

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Hey, sorry if my initial response came across as flippant, but you asked for my opinion and I have strong feelings both on love languages and Mai and Zuko, and I've seen the love languages argument before, both to explain why Mai and Zuko don't work, and by people who think it explains why they DO work.

I think there is some truth in the concept of love languages, but the way it's utilized and the history of it is pretty problematic. This article explains it really well, and part of the reason it's problematic is because the guy who invented it was promoting heteronormative relationships using binary ideas about gender, so almost all the women who were studied were told their love language was "acts of service" and almost all the men were told their love language is "physical touch." Which is just another way of saying that women are just naturally made to perform labor and men are just naturally made to need sex.

So it also doesn't surprise me to hear you say that Mai's love language is physical touch and Zuko's is acts of service and gift giving and words of affirmation. What's surprising is that the genders are flipped here. But it's still a dynamic where one party performs all the labor and the other gets to snog.

And the reason it ends up this way is because Zuko is an abuse victim who has learned to see love as transactional and one-sided as a trauma response. Mai doesn't know how to give and Zuko gives too much. This is a trauma bond and an unhealthy balance.

There's truth in love languages, of course, but the truth is that all people need these things at different times. But like the article says, the idea that love is a language can easily become manipulative. Mai often uses physical touch as a replacement for what Zuko really wants from her, and reacts negatively to his attempts at performing emotional labor but still expects it from him, like in "The Beach" when she demands he bring her food despite reacting negatively every time he brought her stuff previously in the episode.

Also, on the Boiling Rock being Mai's moment of the stakes being challenged, I'd agree, except in the end that's walked back entirely. The challenge was that she had to either let Zuko go or watch him die. She chooses the high road and lets him go, but then at the end of the show she comes back and tells him he can never break up with her again, so her moment of "letting Zuko go" only actually lasted for a few episodes. It's not even a problem that they got back together, it's that the show treats this like Mai deserves it and she gives Zuko an ultimatum about it, so she hasn't really learned anything about letting go or about what it really means to love someone and care more about their well-being than your relationship status with them.

The problem is that Zuko is held accountable, over and over again, and Mai is not.

I've also heard the love languages argument used to defend Kataang, and naturally Katara's love language is also said to be acts of service, because, you know, every woman really wants to mother their man. (sarcasm)

Which is just further confirmation to me that the concept can easily be used to justify unhealthy relationships. The problem is not a difference of love language, it's that one person is doing all the work and the other person is doing none of it. And we've already seen Mai treat another boyfriend the same way, so I don't think putting her with someone else will fix this unless she does A LOT of growing.

I'm not meaning to start (another) argument, but you asked for my opinion, so.

My take on Maiko

Now this isn't meant to be a bash against Mai. I wanted to point out the hot and cold emotional rollercoaster that is Mai and Zuko's relationship. I believe they are not romantically compatible but it isn't any one person's fault.

They have different love languages and different relationship wants and needs. They also have opposing political views.

Zuko's experiences have changed him, what with being banished and life as a fugitive. He is no longer the boy Mai had a childhood crush on. People grow and change and so do too our interpersonal relationships.

Despite everything, they still care for each other. Keep in mind that caring for someone can be platonic or familial as well, not just romantic.

Simply put, they are not a good match for each other.

#antimaiko

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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 months ago

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among the boundless billions zaniness like laugh track as it definitely has that moment of expressing "rolling my eyes as The Left makes a kerfuffle of Acting like they have a stance as a veneer over the true belief that [xyz] is cool & chill actually" like what, approximate 0.000% chance wendy isn't, as usual, given the Objective Stance of "yeah yeah ohh we are cancelling involved parties talking about how we Don't watch this But. we all love this damn epic movie & already have it memorized so shut the fuck up, kids today" like. don't wanna really delve into how much billions thinks taylor or anyone is "really" trans / nonbinary like not too much benefit of the doubt in this material including what does provide info abt that specifically

& the general like [head in hands. what do you think any of this could possibly be about (you're the one that made your show at all about Power)] of "yes, it's bad/wrong to be someone that someone has done something to / victim of something" like that to be anti misogyny All Women Must Be Epic Winners b/c there's something to be proved: that they don't Deserve to be victims (of misogyny), not taken as a Given. while when we see some epic winner men stepping on other men (who need not all be guaranteed Winners so as to say misogyny is wrong), that's often Good, well beyond any assumption that various forms of basic disrespect / violation / patterns of emergent/entrenched power difference as Bad (for being things done to people, not for there being people they're being done to), & generally billions has to take an extra step when ppl get shitted on & tell us the Specific Cases when it was undeserved actually & someone was being mean to a specific person who didn't deserve that. & the specific cases when hey guess it wasn't that bad(tm) or when hey It's Okay that you're someone something was done to, in this case. & tell us what we were supposed to know all along like when someone who something was being done to (wrong Of Them, whether b/c they inherently deserve it no matter what, &/or b/c they failed to be someone who could make it Impossible to do anything to them, which, how do you do that besides being The Authority / Superior yourself, exactly? nonrhetorically? what if the in group vs out group / fascism / authoritarianism protected Me?) was actually being treated Too Well b/c ah well the abuse meant you were getting any attention, maybe it meant you were claimed as any superior's property, maybe it meant you weren't Already disposed of, as all Losers were in the end, You're Welcome.

obviously referring to winston where it's spelled out all the abuse towards him was deserved, & More than he deserved in the case of rian having more access & taking advantage of that, all for billions' enjoying its own sendoff there of, again, maximizing violation & violence short of [real violence is physical & leaves bruises / draws blood / Literally kills] which would be distasteful in general But doesn't it make wags look like the winner & winston the loser is that the former's completely unrelated completely impersonal ego blow gets way amplified taken out on winston, the most vulnerable recurring character when spyros as [first & ultimate Everyone Hates Him role] is more entrenched in there & billions still magnanimously pities tuk, as it does winston too, just not quite as much. again that like completely surface level realized power fantasy of forcing the mirror up to the Inferior so they're like nooo my inferiorityyyy & in doing so like, the projection in that lmao, we get it re: the valuing of & need(tm) for such Power Tripping & Reaffirming My Superiority & My Ego Restored; Everyone Claps like good god. & then for all ben & tuk are the slightly softer Two Too Nice Boys duo to the rian & winston quant duo, also like too nice i guess but not as much, ben is in charge of tuk but Any instance of rian being in charge of winston outstrips them in that "yay interpersonal abuse" dynamic, like then in the end billions may be like "yeah it's possible to be mean to them unlike how being mean to winston is actually Nice b/c he deserves everything he gets, we only vicariously enjoy it vs Feeling Bad for tuk & ben sometimes (still magnanimously & it's Not That Bad / just goofin)" like ben & tuk still Fail by not being people it's impossible to do anything to. & not Exceptions who anyone is really being Too Mean to. like if they were women, in which case, no problem surely with a "positive" kind of victim blaming where there is something Inherent that Will be victimized so hey how about to cancel that out there's this special Paternal Protection you Need always, Or Else? :) but instead they are men who are asian & is ben gay & w/tuk & winston nobody mentions glasses or fatness but billions doesn't really do much or very in depth textual mentioning of Anything, even w/nonzero mention that there may be gender & race in this world. a gay man, once. no disability. we just Know who are the inferiors who deserve it when they're treated inferiorly, or if they don't, they start deserving it when they fail to stop/avoid it, but if you start mentioning the factors behind who we all totally agree is inferior like whoa nobody was Saying any of that? being the real agent of oppression on the basis of the factors only You spelled out, much? nonbinary? i never say anything about the Gender Binary when i'm subscribing to it, sounds like You've created & enforced it. obfuscation & deflection onto [so Just Normal nobody has to label, explain, or argue it] couldn't serve a purpose & protect the existing power differences as they are. maybe You're the problem? perhaps you brought it upon yourself & now you're causing too much trouble standing up for yourself while everyone else's criticism is laser focused on you as the prior & continuing negative actions done to you are taken as a given / unquestioned / covertly protected to overtly encouraged?

anyway so wild if the Completely Normal(tm) Victim Blaming is uncritically recreated & oft embraced for "if you're watching this & don't wish you were axe / find him appealing" [billions as a sequence of vicarious power trips] purposes in this series....but a bit wild considering like this is your multiseason show that wasn't just purporting to be those power trips for [enough demographic & apparently specific personal tastes overlap w/creators] & was at all purporting to question the matters of power at play in the material, or yknow, at least to not be completely superficial material while said material is textually & thematically all about power difference being leveraged, how, the consequences, & so on. thus i will have to intermittently talk about it forever like this like lord unbelievable. & the funny little & sometimes less funny less little characters it has trapped in there so that those of us who were never meant to be in the audience can be cursed with this knowledge. like i have some feedback. "imagine not victim blaming" & "imagine adjusting your perspective can go beyond superficial layers added to politely defer to some other ppl while they're present but really like cmon do they deserve that. am i not just saying what we're allll thinking"

#another random night another Verbal Effusion of [forehead to hand]#winston billions #who needs actual questions about power or the consequences of getting to consider others Lessers & acting accordingly #when we can last minute be like uh wendy is god actually. take it away wendy (wait she just does whole other shit half the season)#okay Now take it away wendy i guess b/c the series is dead set on you being the Moral Center #if mostly b/c gosh everyone either loves owning you as pseudo wife or correctly recognizes & defers to your superiority #the scene i couldn't bear to sit through at the start of s7 way too long sequence of wendy Going To Work to the ''cuz im awesome'' song #i was like. lol. i was like okay that is wendy's mood / perspective then. Wrong. it was billions conveying Fact to the audience. rip #abt as great setup for ''the only other shoe that finally dropped was that of Yeah It's This Completely Surface Level'' as possible (:#prince has exactly the same attitudes & actions as wendy does? uh well you see. it's just bad when he does it #if only more wendys were in charge. if only we go ''well even if it's bad if wendy does it? or axe or whoever? Could Be Worse''#nothing to analyze in the [but at least it's not worse] dead end re: justification of Power Leveraging & minimization of its consequences #tl;dr just the victim blaming embraced everywhere & the idea that everything that Deviates from the Norm Too Ethically Mindedly #is just that veneer slapped on overtop of [haha but truly: the norm] like no but seriously we all know It's Not That Deep(tm)#even for the characters written to exercise this [my Extra Mile Ethics] trait regularly it's expressed as this Polite Addendum #to the [what's Really at play] normal. the And Enbies tacked on; that's that on that & it Is an extra veneer to the norm #prince asking if taylor's changing up their pronouns; no more Meant a red flag than him immediately shitting on winston i'm sure #yet yknow why tf suppose taylor more than anyone else would Change Pronouns. taylor who the series also only ever shows as being #misgendered As A Woman. whose drag / cisguise As A Woman is not treated in the same way a man's would be / is #whose emotive / expressive affect isn't either. billions like [the genders are m/f] to [perhaps also amab/afab] Tacked On #as something politely Extra you do to their face that doesn't actually change (threaten) your idea of what's just Normal & True #like it's normal & true that ugh god don't you hate the autistic people around you? don't you wish you could go sicko mode on them #so that they couldn't be around you anymore & they'd have brought it upon themself & really it was good of you b/c The Group Cohesion #thanks you & b/c you just gave them free ABA? yes yep Surely Unquestionably #problem isn't abuse & concomitant violation in & of itself. it's Bad to be someone that's done to. we will announce Exceptions #rest of you either you brought it upon yourself or you failed to Correct that you're not someone who inherently deserves it #that is: someone who just can & will Stop It if done to them. well so you see winston pushing back is ignored or treated to further #backlash & then he withdraws (expression of his experience / creation of a consequence which tells the other Stop Doing This)#&/or otherwise conveys displeasure / being hurt (same as before. ''uh well push back / express xyz'' ppl did & were steamrolled/ignored)

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