#and I legit was terrified because when she had a ‘feeling’ she was so sure they’d come true so imagine a little 15/16 year old me
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Ya know my mom used to accuse me of being a lesbian because I’ve never brought home a boyfriend. She was taking me to my college morning classes. We were next to the water tower when she asked me for the hundredth time if I was a lesbian. “It’s okay you can be honest.”
“No. It’s just no boy’s ever liked me”
#melifails#🥺 not a yearning thing just a memory#she was so sure about getting me to come out and admit that I liked girls and NOT boys#she’s only half wrong now#but it stunk then so I don’t want to share#also also she was SO insistent that I meet my dad’s boss’s son whose older than me by a few years#she could feel it in her soul that we were meant to fall in love#and I legit was terrified because when she had a ‘feeling’ she was so sure they’d come true so imagine a little 15/16 year old me#thinking I was destined to be with a man I never met just because my mom liked him#😭 sigh anyways#a little bit of my pathetic ness today for y’all
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omg i saw your prompt list and I'm a sucker for oscar lately, so i thought 45 (God, I am so in love with you) with him? fluff please :)
i love your writing btw!
First Kiss - Oscar Piastri (requested)
Masterlist ↳pairing: oscar piastri x female!reader ↳word count: 0.8K ↳summary: In which Oscar wins the Azerbaijan GP & finally kisses you for the first time ↳prompts used: 45 - "God, I am so in love with you"
Oscar had been in love with you for years, a secret he’d kept tucked away in the corners of his heart, afraid of what would happen if he ever let it out. He’d watch you laugh, your eyes sparkling with a light that made everything else fade away, and he’d feel his chest tighten with the words he could never quite say.
You’d been his best friend since forever, the person who knew him better than anyone else. Every victory, every defeat—you were there, cheering him on or comforting him in the quiet moments when the world seemed too much. But as much as he cherished your friendship, he was terrified to risk it by confessing his feelings, convinced that you saw him as nothing more than a friend.
It was a thought that haunted him every time he caught you looking at him with that warm smile, every time your hand brushed against his, sending electric shocks through his body. He couldn’t imagine a life without you in it, so he swallowed down his love, settling for being your best friend even if it meant his heart ached every time you were near.
But everything changed the morning of the Baku race. He was in the paddock, nerves buzzing under his skin as he tried to focus on the upcoming race, terribly failing as he catched himself staring at you once again. But then Lando came up to him with a knowing smile.
“You know she’s in love with you too, right?” Lando said casually, as if he hadn’t just dropped a bombshell on him.
Oscar blinked, his brain struggling to process the words. “What?”
“Yeah,” he continued, oblivious to the way his heart was suddenly racing. “She’s been head over heels for you for ages. Honestly, it’s kind of obvious. I thought you knew.”
He stood there, stunned, his mind spinning as everything he thought he knew shifted. You were in love with him? All those moments he’d dismissed as wishful thinking, the lingering touches, the way you looked at him—had he been blind to it all?
"Are you sure?" Oscar asked, completely dumbfounded. Afraid that Lando might got the wrong signals, that it wasn't what he thought it was.
"Couldn't be more sure" Lando smiled at him, patting his shoulder "Mate, she legit told me, 'I wonder if Oscar has any idea how crazy I am about him.' That clear enough for you?" he chuckled, mocking your love sick tone "Didn't wan't to be the one to spill the beans, but I'm pretty sure the both of you otherwise would have been too shy too ever confess to each other"
His heart soared, hope blossoming in his chest, but there was no time to process it. The call for the race was going out, and he had to get to the grid. He barely remembered the moments that followed, his body moving on autopilot as he climbed into the car, his mind consumed by thoughts of you.
And when he crossed the finish line, his first instinct wasn’t to celebrate the victory—it was to find you, to tell you everything he’d been holding back for so long. Because now he knew. And he wasn’t going to let another moment slip by without you knowing, too.
He glanced around, searching the crowd with an urgency you’d never seen before. When his eyes locked onto yours, a grin split his face. Without a second thought, he handed his helmet to a nearby mechanic and practically sprinted toward you. Your heart leaped into your throat as he reached the barrier, reaching out to lift you over it with ease. His hands found your face, cupping your cheeks with a gentleness that contrasted sharply with the intense look in his eyes.
“Oscar—” you began, but your words were cut off as he crashed his lips onto yours, his kiss filled with a raw, unspoken longing. You gasped against his mouth, stunned, but the surprise quickly melted into warmth as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer.
The crowd erupted in cheers, their shouts echoing around you, but it all faded into a blur. It was just the two of you, standing there in the middle of the chaos, wrapped up in each other. The kiss was everything you’d ever dreamed of—soft yet demanding, sweet but full of a simmering passion that sent shivers down your spine. You could feel the joy and relief radiating from him, his lips moving against yours with a mix of exhilaration and tenderness that made your legs weak.
When you finally pulled apart, breathless and dazed, Oscar rested his forehead against yours, his eyes sparkling with unspoken words. His thumb brushed over your cheek as he searched your gaze, a smile tugging at his lips.
“I love you too, by the way,” he whispered, his voice slightly breathless but steady.
A giggle bubbled up from your chest, pure happiness spilling over as you leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. The cameras were still flashing, the crowd still cheering, but all you could focus on was the warmth of his hands and the way he looked at you, like you were the only thing that mattered in the world.
Oscar’s gaze never left you, his grin widening with each passing moment. Finally, he could hold you the way he’d always longed to. He’d admired you for so long, captivated by your beauty. But now, seeing you up close, you looked even more stunning. He was completely smitten. “God, I am so in love with you.”
Masterlist
#f1 fanfic#formula 1#friends to lovers#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#fluff#mclaren#op81#oscar piastri#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#formula one#baku gp 2024#azerbaijan gp 2024#piastri#mclaren racing#request#requests open#fanfic#first kiss#idiots in love
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i was thinking about how ariel from the little mermaid is criticized so harshly for "giving up her voice and family for some guy" when there was definitely a lot more to it than that.
ariel had dreams outside of eric. she wanted to see the world, she wanted to get acquainted with humans and human traditions and she wasn't satisfied with her life underwater. that was the whole point of "part of your world", she barely mentions eric in it. he was just a bonus in her new life, not her entire purpose.
why am i talking about a random disney movie? it's because i was thinking of lumity, and how amity also rebelled against her family for a new life. except.. amity really only mentions luz (and "the others" because let's be real, she did not give a shit about willow and gus at that point). amity's sole reason to go against her family's values was luz.
this, if anything, could be considered "giving up everything for a love interest" but people don't see it that way because amity's parents were shitty to begin with. but if you look at the little mermaid from a different perspective, you could argue that king triton wasn't a very good parent either.
he literally throws a temper tantrum just because his teenage daughter has a crush on a guy. ariel is legit terrified in that scene, and regardless of whether triton had good intentions or not, he made his daughter feel unsafe and turn to an impulsive decision in a moment of emotional distress.
all of this to say, you could argue that ariel had no reason to stay with her family either, given that her father lacks emotional sensitivity and does not sit down and try to communicate with his child, instead of destroying her collection and scaring her away.
coming back to amity, i can understand that luz inspired her to actually do something about her abusive parents, and that's sweet. but we never get to see what else amity wanted. since they never established a friendship arc between amity and gus or willow (she apologized to willow, sure, but the rekindling of their relationship happens much later on), all we know is that amity is tired of being abused and she wants to be with luz.
from an abuse victim's perspective, amity standing up against her parents was powerful. but unlike ariel, amity doesn't seem to want anything besides luz. and she never explores what she wants to do, now that she has successfully cut herself away from her mother's influence. her whole life revolves around luz after that.
there was that abomination brawl episode but even that ended up being about luz. the brawl was just a quick montage, it only existed for the emotional drama that came later on. in fact, even when the plot was focused on amity, it was more about her relationship with her father rather than her autonomy and personal interests.
there's a reason why a lot of people liked the mean girl version of amity. she had personality, she had interests and goals, she had CHARACTER. it was all fake and a result of trauma, but it was there and it helped flesh out her character. but after she is redeemed? there's nothing left of the old amity, not even the more positive/neutral traits, and her only personality is "luz's awesome girlfriend".
amity's arc should have been about exploring what she wanted outside of her parents' wishes. abuse often turns you into a shell of a person and recovering from years of trauma isn't as simple as getting a romantic partner. it takes therapy (and that is canonically an option in the boiling isles, let me remind you), it takes self-reflection, it takes giving yourself the permission to choose your own destiny and explore yourself outside of your abusers' expectations.
and amity gets none of this. her trauma and arc was resolved too quickly, even for a show that was cut short. they just gave her a makeover, got her into a relationship with luz and called it a day. the only reason people aren't giving her the ariel treatment is (probably) because lumity is a queer ship.
#i still find it hard to believe that the only thing odalia did afterwards was bug amity to change her hair color#it is NOT that easy to get away from an abusive parent lol#especially if you're still under their care#abuse tw#the owl house#toh salt#toh critical#toh criticism#toh discourse#anti toh#toh#amity blight#(not lumity hate btw i'm fine with the ship itself)
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Mechanic Y/N
Fandom: FNAF
Relationships: multiple
I've been asked a lot to write more of Monty and Y/N so I hope this gives you guys a bit of what you want. I have no idea who Y/N will go for in this but I'll be trying to write more of Y/N with all of the animatronics.
Y/N is a new mechanic working on the main four. Unfortunately for them they're afraid of animatronics and now stuck constantly alone with them because I live for angst. Hope you like it💕
🍄🍄🍄
As a technician of sorts for the main four it's your job to make sure they're all in working order before the shows. It's your first day on the job and you were beyond nervous. You'd accepted the job thinking you'd be working on small things like the lighting, not getting close to the stars themselves. Your parents had forced you into this career, seeing your obvious knack for robotics. Your father worked for a tech company after all and you were constantly exposed to his projects. Unfortunately for you, you had a horribly obvious fear of animatronics. The idea of a broken decrepit one coming out of the shadows, metal parts peaking out rusted beyond repair as their creepy glowing eyes find you, it gives you immediate dread. Obviously these animatronics weren't like that, shiny and clean and well put together. Unfortunately another thing about them scared you as well, the sharp claws and teeth, the insane amount of strength. They could bend metal without even thinking about it and seeing what Monty did to his room didn't help. After some time working on the side lines, the managers had noticed your abilities and the main four needed a new mechanic. You'd seen them from afar, interacting with kids, helping people out as much as they could. They all seemed nice, Freddy even seemed gentle at times. They were starting to work that fear away a bit until you came to work on them for the first time before a show. As you got closer to the area they were standing and chatting in, in relative darkness something struck you. When they looked up at you, you could see how their eyes glowed in the dark.
Your heart skips a beat, breath hitching at the terrifying sight before you. You'd almost forgotten that they are in fact animatronics and therefore their eyes glow from their metal endoskeletons under the pretty casing that fooled you. Freddy waves at you, a small smile on his lips though you can't see it. All you can see is the odd white glow coming from his eyes. As you approach you can't help shaking a bit, heart racing at the idea of being so close to them. Freddy can immediately tell somethings wrong, scanning you and seeing your heightened heart rate.
"Are you alright superstar?" He asks, in his typical papa bear fashion. You tense, quickly nodding in response and simply wanting to get the checks over with as fast as possible.
"Um….W-What exactly am I supposed to check?" You ask in a shaky voice. Freddy doesn't believe you but decides not to push you for an answer. Chica is the one to answer your question in a rather cheerful voice.
"Nothing really rock chick, we usually just tell you if something doesn't feel right and you check it for us." She explains happily, a kind smile on her face. "I'm all good! What about you guys?" She states, looking at the others, they all nod, smiling in response. "Good to go then!" She states, nodding in response you quickly move away from them though Freddy watches you closely. He can tell somethings wrong and wants to try to help but doesn't know where to begin. Plus the kids are waiting.
After watching them go up onto the stage you quickly make your way to a nearby office, wanting to be alone. You just couldn't get the way their eyes glowed in the dark out of your head, especially Monty's. They were literally glowing red after all. All of this had you on edge and you couldn't help the rising panic attacks you were feeling. You didn't know if you could keep doing this job. One day they'll need repairs and you'll have to legit get close to them. Just thinking about that makes you hyperventilate. How could you make this work?
Unfortunately for your now terrified self one of the bots now needed repairs. Making your way down to parts and service felt like walking to your doom, hands sweaty, heart racing, every step took every bit of strength you could muster. You needed this job, you couldn't let your fears ruin it for you and you refused to let that happen. Though when it was Monty you saw in parts and service you froze. Why him? Of all the bots why the fucking huge ass, terrifying gator. He doesn't seem to notice you at first, talking to the employee that seems to have brought him down here. The employee is the first to spot you, turning and approaching you with the gator following, unintentionally towering over the human and causing a spike in your anxiety.
"Monty here had an incident on stage. We need you to look at him." The employee states. Monty immediately let's out a light growl.
"I had an incident? You mean that idiot shined a light right in my fucking eyes." The clearly irritated gator states, causing you to flinch. He of course notices this, simply rolling his eyes in response. The employee sighs, glancing at the gator before looking at you again.
"Yes. One of the new hires programed the lights incorrectly and it shined in his eyes, causing him to glitch out on stage. He seems fine now but the higher ups wanted to make sure there's no permanent damage." He finishes, ignoring the grumbling gator beside him. Meanwhile you can't stop staring at the huge claws the gator is sporting. Why in the hell would they put something like that on a damn children's attraction? Seeming to notice you staring the gator glares, watching you closely. "I'll leave you to it Y/N. Just be careful. He can be grumpy." Monty growls at him for that one and sighs.
"Let's get this over with." He states in his rather deep, almost growly voice. You flinch again, avoiding his gaze as you speak.
"Are there any errors in your interface?" You ask, voice shaking. The gator crossed his rather muscular arms.
"No. It was just bright as hell and then my eyes stopped working for a minute." He states, red eyes studying your frame. He isn't a fan of any of the humans that work here, always acting like cornered animals around him. They treat him like a ticking time bomb and it's more than a little annoying to him.
"Did anything come up in your scans?" You ask timidly, earning a grunt from the gator in question.
"Yes. I'm not an idiot. Nothing came up other than a glitch caused by the brightness." He states, clearly irritated by the line of questioning.
"I…..I think you'll be fine then. If you have problems with your optics I can install new ones." You state, though you really didn't even want to think about touching him. Of course the gator can tell immediately what you think of him, your body tense and rigid, heart racing every time he so much as looks at you. You don't have to say you don't want to help him, he can already read it. Growling under his breath he starts walking out of the room.
"Then thanks for nothing newbie." The rather irritated gator states, leaving you alone in parts and service, half panicked.
#my writing#size difference#fnaf#fnaf fandom#fnaf au#fnaf freddy#fandom#fanfiction#fluff#fanfic#fnaf chica#fnaf glamrock#fnaf glamrock freddy#fnaf montgomery#fnaf monty#fnaf monty gator#fnaf security breach#security breach#fnaf security breach x reader#x reader#glamrock animatronics#angst#freddy fazbear x reader#montgomery gator#glamrock monty#montgomery gator x reader
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Vinsmoke 1/2 au
All the vinsibs share Ranma's role, since Judge kept promising his child's hand in marriage but no one knew that he had more than one nor did he ever specify
Sanji is the only one with the curse to turn into a girl (he goes by Candy)
Yonji gets to be P-chan (same name)
Niji turns into a hedgehog (they call him Speedy)
Cat Ichiji (they call him Nyasha)
And Reiju gets the inverse of Sanji (she gets to turn into a man and goes by Romeo)
Garp offered the hand of his eldest grandkid (he only had Ace & Luffy at the time) so when Judge drags his kids to Dadan's house Sabo said he was the eldest at the same time as Ace (his big plan to create confusion and put the arrangement in a standstill while he came up with another plan to stop it altogether) and Luffy -laughing- said that they were twins
Judge is like “well, I have kids to spare so they can both choose one if they don't want to share" but Dadan completely opposes this idea since Garp only promised 1 grandchild (and Garp isn't there to say shit atm)
So the Vinsmoke settle with Dadan while the circus show begins and takes place
Some of the other fiances the VINSIBS have thanks to Judge:
Pudding
Viola (her dad accepted while drunk and only Judge takes it seriously)
Ratchet
Uta
Page 1 (Ulti is hunting down Niji)
Deuce (ran away from home to avoid the arrangement and is living in Raftell -where ASL live-)
I also haven't decided if it should be Ace or Sabo who gets to fight everyone every morning (maybe both for different reasons? Or maybe the same?)
The reason Ace and Sabo fight about half the student population every morning when they arrive at school is that they won't let people ask Luffy out if they can't defeat them Not that it matters cuz Luffy is only interested in Law (an upper classmate and also one of the Vinsmoke 's many fiances, thanks to Mingo)
btw
ASL (and mostly Ace) has a lot of oversized clothes cuz he inherited\took Dadan's old ones
A lil angst idea
Ichiji is the most obedient of the siblings This detail is going to haunt Ace as he falls in love with Ichiji He makes moves on Ichiji in moments of passion/impulse just to regret and feel guilty about it later because he's sure that Ichiji is only reciprocating because of Judge's orders regarding the arrangement ordeal
Like, he legit fears Ichiji would sleep with him even if didn't actually want to if his father told him (directly or indirectly)
WIP:
I think I'm in love
Ace panted through his smile, just like Ichiji did, almost laughing, sweaty and radiant under the sunlight.
Ichiji, standing right in front of him, regained his breath and smiled Ace's way, a truly rare and treasured occurrence.
Ace's body moved on its own, following a long-ignored desire, and the blood in his veins ran a scalding heat under his skin as his hand reached for Ichiji's cheek, caressing it with the pad of his thumb and feeling the dyed strands of red hair between his fingers.
He dragged Ichiji at the same time as he leaned in, pressing their lips against each other. Ichiji froze for a single second, unsure of how to react, but he didn't take long to reciprocate, pushing back and tilting his head for a better angle.
A second hand joined the first and Ace found himself holding onto Ichiji's head as he leaned more and more into Ichiji's space. Ichiji's hands reached Ace, holding onto the loose shirt hanging from his torso.
They kissed again and again and again.
Holding onto each other, standing in the middle of the empty back street.
Ace licked Ichiji's lip and the redhead parted them obediently, awaiting.
But the honey drowning Ace's brain finished leaking out and he stopped suddenly terrified.
"Fuck" he whispered.
Ichiji made a small questioning noise that just awoke Ace from his daze even more. Suddenly realising what he did, what they had been doing, he let go of Ichiji and took a big step back.
Ichiji didn't cling.
"I'm sorry, fuck, Ichiji I'm so so sorry" Ichiji opened his mouth to say something, but Ace turned in his place and ran.
Ichiji just stands there, a little heartbroken, even as the rain starts pouring and he turns small and fluffy
Ace goes home and has and almost has an anxious/panic attack over the whole ordeal He tries to go on as if nothing happened But Ichiji doesn't return that night
#one piece#acechiji#vinsmoke ichiji#portgas d ace x vinsmoke ichiji#portgas d ace#one piece acechiji#op acechiji#vinsmoke yonji#vinsmoke siblings#yonbo#yonsa#yonji x sabo#v1/2au#vinsmoke 1/2 au
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This feels like a great time for you to ponder how Lavellan would feel in that situation. Really picture it!
How did they end up like this? Where are they going to take it next? How does she feel, holding him in her arms, being held by him? How do his lips feel against hers? Does she feel safe and comfortable and warm and like all her worries just melt away at the touch of his lips? Can she feel her heartbeat quicken, her breath hitch in her throat? Do their hands wander? Do soft little gasps escape them, for the other to greedily swallow, or are they so lost in each other that they don't even think about something as inconsequential as the noises they might be making?
Very important questions, all of them. <3
SHADES??? SHADES HELLO?? THAT'S JUST EVIL WHAT THE HELL????
you sure saw an opening and went "i may not know DA all that well but i will NOT leave Icha untouched when she show her weak point"
aND YOU JUST MAKE ME BLUSH HARDER THIS IS SO MEAN.
Anyway so yes i've thought about it,
so in DAI there's a line that implies they never had sex during the duration of their initial relationship ("what is that curse your people say? May the Dread Wolf take you?" "and so he did." "I did not. I would not lie with you under false pretenses"), and i HC it to be the case for my Lavellan too....
so it places a possible sex scene (and as it's implied in the fanart also) to be after their reunion in DAVG 8 years later when she gives up the Awakened World to follow Solas into the prison that awaits him in the Fade.
And it is WHY he looks so desperate in the fanart because no one ever choose Solas above everything else. He's scared that if someone chooses him like that, they'll be twisted, just like he has been trying to follow someone who would never do anything for him in return.
A romanced Lavellan refusing to abandon him for 10 years, refusing to leave him alone, following him even in the most terrible place in the world, and still being kind and wise and loving and not trying to twist him or use him, and who sees him for who he is and not who they want him to be?
This is the purest form of devotion for him. After years of pushing her away because he didn't want to stain her with his sins, the realization he's so loved, unconditionally, regardless.
He's known as "he who hunts alone", he's a man who was forced into a loneliness he was terrified about (his biggest fear is to die alone), he's so desperately lonely and desperately yearning to not be anymore, but doesn't know how not to be when it's all he's ever been for thousands of years.
And on top of that Solas is pretty touch starved, as it shows in his romance in DAI, he legit cannot keep his hands away. And it's why it's so touching that the romance endcredit for the game is
him holding her so tight, head buried on her shoulder, like he can't believe she's really here with him. The position of her arm looking like he pulled her into a hug while she was wrapping herself around him, but he was so quick her arm is a bit stuck on his chest instead. And her having to be on her tippy toes because he's pulling her so close it lifts her up.
He's THAT touch starved, he adores her THAT much, and letting go of his burden to realize his lover still wants him, loves him, denies him this loneliness he was cursed with...
So back to the art and also my general HCs is that once they end up in the prison, and after he gives her the biggest hug the world has ever seen, she'll drag him to find some place in the prison that is clean and has some water so she can clean his wounds first. And then. well.
Ok i can't deny i thought about it too much but personally i see especially my Lavellan trying to clean his wounds but he looks at her with such adoring eyes and they're talking a bit in the meantime about everything that happened, and they keep sneaking up kissies. And he doesn't care much for his wounds and he always pulls her so close, and she gets more and more carried away and has to remind him that they have to treat his wounds first. But so it goes and it goes and once she has to treat his chest and back especially it is just harder in harder to concentrate especially while they're still sneaking up kissies, and she can't help also kissing some of his scars, and just. it's one thing leading to another. (and then after the whole thing is done my Lavellan will get pouty about how they didn't treat all of his wounds yet but he holds her so tight that she has no choice but to admit this will be a problem for them to deal with later)
as for all your questions.....
She feels safe in his arms, like home again, a home she had been longing for just as much as he had. He holds her so tight, he touches her everywhere, leaving warms all over her body and she knows she belongs with him. Like she's finding back a missing piece of her heart she had been searching for all along.
"his love could burn against me like a bonefire" like that. like that exactly.
Anyway have you SEEN his lips. they're so full and plump... you know his lips are tender to the touch, soft kisses, easily being marked after a few kisses... Like two pieces of a puzzle coming together. And he's so desperate and hungry. And she is too. they've been starving from each other for way too long... And also i know he's a tongue guy (literally kissed her with tongue on their second impulsive kiss this man makes me so unwell) so he's constantly sneaking it in, desperate for every single taste he could catch, as close as humanly possible to embrace somebody, to share everything with somebody.
And yes she feels so comfortable by this. Like. you asked so sorry i'll get into details on that but i especially read my girl as someone who has been "deshumanized" by the worshipping that came when she became the hero of the South. She was considered the prophet of a religion she not only doesn't believe in, but actively resent. Everyone saw her like a god amongst her own, people had struggle to see her as a person again. But Solas was one of the first person she met and he was always one to ground her back, to remind her that she was still a person doing her best... and in a sense with Solas being revealed to be "A God" later, and Solas' letters in DAVG proving that Solas felt like himself, as "Solas", not as a god, when he was with her, they're basically two people who had been forced into a position of godhood, worshipped and hated over things bigger than themselves, and yet they could find each others back AS PEOPLE with each others. They Anchored each other and found back what made them THEM, and not just some figures people would worship.
Being in each other's arms for them is about becoming real again. They're no longer the symbols of rebellions, of changes, they're no longer the people who have the burden of the world on their shoulders. They're just themselves, unconditionally loved, and able to feel selfish and personal things with no regard to what others people expect of them.
Their embrace ground them and allow them to just BE again, instead of trying to live up to a purpose, to be "of use", to be tools.
And in a way there is an adoration in the mundane for people who had always been denied even that. The adoration of knowing that no titles, no history, matter as much as the love they bear for one another for the little things that make them THEM.
And i think this is what they feel when they hold each other close. A belonging few people could ever relate to, that they can understand each other without even needing a word, that they can love each other in the way they had been craving for love in a way no one else could truly understand because no one else had ever been in this position. The Euphoria of knowing there's a place for you to be that will accept you, unconditionally, without twisting you, neither out of love nor out of hate.
I think that also answers the "does she feel like all her worries melt away under his kisses" right. Because yes. Because what worries is there if they are together? "it won't be terrible if you're with me" she told him when she walked with him in that prison. There is nothing to worry about as long as she has him in his arms.
She was so scared when he pushed her away. "I can't bear the thought of you alone". She knows he would be the kind to destroy himself for what he believes is the greater good. And she doesn't want that for him. The fact he's here in her arms means no harm can come to him. He's safe. And so is she.
And yes for the kisses and heartbeat and breaths. Everything they share is like it's always been theirs to start with. Her heart beats for him and his heart beats for her, and sharing that, making sure the other knows that, is everything to them.
"I was thinking of a way i could show you how much you matter to me" Solas tells Lavellan in one of his romance scenes. He's so. Desperate to make it clear just how much he loves her. And once he starts calling her Vhenan ("my Heart") he ends up still calling her that when they broke up, in Trespasser and in VG. He calls things the way they are, he says, and he can't lie to himself saying she isn't his beating heart, his love. He's so desperate to share just how deeply he loves her.
My girl was always very opened about sharing her feelings with Solas (she is the one who initiated the first kiss after all) but also i HC that after they broke up, and even more so after she realized he still loved her, she was so determined to make him understand she was never giving up on him, that she will have to do everything in her power to make him feel just how much she loves him.
Each breaths, each heartbeats, each kisses they can share is one step closer to make sure they understand the depth of their feelings for each others.
"Do their hands wander" absolutely, Solas is an ass person. He always has a hand on her ass in some cutscenes 😭 He's constantly holding her so close though, every inches, like it allows him to feel how real she is. And she does too, constantly running her hands everywhere. When they were in relationship she was cuddly, but after everything, after how starved they've been, she just refuses to let go of him. Like even outside of sex i think she'd constantly hold his arm or something, so she knows he's here, he's with her, it's not just a dream.
"Do soft little gasps escape them, for the other to greedily swallow, or are they so lost in each other that they don't even think about something as inconsequential as the noises they might be making?"
i am blushing ways too hard my GOD you really went with all sort of killing questions. and the answer is especially the former. they would be so. so greedy about each others. They've denied each other for so long now it's almost like they have to catch up for all those times. Like they can't keep for themselves just how much the others make them feel, and the other would want to swallow all that the other has to offer. For the person making noises, it doesn't even matter to them that they're being noisy, but the other would be so greedy about hearing everything and swallowing all they can.
and they're both like that. They're just desperate to make their love for each other known.
(i think pre-break up they were mostly trying to be quiet because they'd sneak around to kiss one another -- and they didn't want to drive much attention to themselves. but after 10 years of pent up repressed feelings and now that they're all alone in the Black City? Well let's say that turning it Golden will come with many sounds none of the dreamers will ever be able to hear)
...................
i thought about all of this a normal amount
how dare you do this to me
#ichareply#crimsonshades#ichafantalks da#ichablogging davg#icharomances solas#head in hands and blushing
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Alright so I know I’ve made some of these points before but now I’m compiling all of my thoughts about Ozai and Ursa’s relationship in one post.
People who do not see Ursa as a victim of Ozai’s abuse and/or delusionally ship Urzai on the basis that Ozai “really loved” Ursa legit fucking scare me.
Ozai did not love Ursa, in any capacity. Ozai does not love anyone. Except maybe himself but he flip-flops on that one, even.
Ursa did not love Ozai. She was terrified of him. She was taken from her home and forced to marry him - and no, she did not have a choice, not really. Her “choice” was marry Ozai or he kills the love of her life right in front of her. She had about as much of a choice there as Jigsaw’s victims. Starve to death or hack your own foot off, yeah, complete free will.
Then once she married the bastard, she was told she belonged to him, and that she could never see or speak to her family ever again. So romantic, right?
What about this screams “Yes, Ozai, I love you and I can’t wait to have your babies!”
Speaking of, this is more or less implying that Zuko and Azula were conceived as the result of marital rape but y’all ain’t ready for a deep dive into that. Anyone who thinks Ursa could fully consent in this situation needs to have their head examined.
Now backtracking a bit to “she was terrified of him”, let’s not forget this panel!
This is what Ursa looks like when she sees a PORTRAIT of Ozai. A mere portrait. I rest my case.
But alright, I know what some of you are probably thinking. The comics are not canon (except when you want them to be), the comics “retconned” their backstory, or whatever else. I disagree on the last point in particular because that’s not what retconning means. There is nothing, absolutely zero, in the show that contradicts Ozai and Ursa’s comic backstory, or Ozai’s behavior during all of that.
Ozai, in canon, is a genocidal, child abusing, egomaniac. He is shown to have very little regard for others’ feelings, wants, or needs, and only seems interested in his own desires and lust for power. Never once do we see him treating someone with basic respect and consideration, not even his precious favorite, Azula. He manipulates her, he tells her what she wants to hear so that she remains loyal to him but ultimately he views her as a possession - an extension of himself rather than her own person. Which is very typical of narcissists.
Given the way Ozai treats literally everyone else he interacts with, what reason do we have to believe he treated Ursa any differently?
None.
“B-b-b-but what about the fountain?”
Look, I don’t know what it is with this fandom and viewing literally any little thing a character does behind shipping goggles but it is certainly quite annoying.
So here in Zuko’s flashback, we see Ozai standing in front of the fountain, the morning after his father died and Ursa was subsequently banished.
And for some reason, this is used to prove that Ozai loves and misses Ursa which.... what?
A lot just happened over the past 24 hours. Ozai and Ursa murdered his own father for one, and for two, Ozai is coming to the realization that everything he’s ever wanted is now within his grasp. Is it not possible he’s just thinking or clearing his head? I guess that would make too much sense. Is it not also possible that he is mourning the death of his father?
I know, I know Ozai killed Azulon... but it’s complicated. Up until this point, he had desperately been trying to please him. Think of the scene in the throne room, where he’s trying to show Azulon why he is the better son and more worthy of Iroh’s place in the line of succession. And he used AZULA to do it. The child he named after Azulon, his favorite. Declaring that she was “a true prodigy, just like her grandfather for who she is named”.
Y’all, if this doesn’t scream “Please be proud of me, Daddy!” then I don’t know what does.
It was a bitter pill for Ozai to swallow, I’m sure, that no matter what he accomplished in his life that he would always play second fiddle to Iroh, and that his father would never give him the respect and approval he so desperately craved...
So yeah, gonna go out on a limb here and say this is what Ozai was thinking about. The father he had spent his entire life trying to please was now dead, and he had to close that chapter in his life for good.
Now, before anyone comes at me about the “original series bible”, yes, I am aware that it exists and what it says about Ozai and Ursa. The claim is again that the show and/or comics “retcon” this but I really don’t see how when all that was changed was that she was low-born rather that high-born and/or nobility.
I suppose it’s because people like to cherry pick the line “She was the perfect match for Prince Ozai and soon became his wife.”
Here is the thing about royal marriages - they’re not perfect because they’re love matches, they’re perfect because they are politically savvy and present a certain image to the public.
And not for nothing but these early character concepts and the old Nick website say A LOT of weird shit that never made it into the show or is blatantly untrue but even still, nothing in the above passage disproves the following statement: Ursa is a victim of domestic violence.
Ozai abused Ursa. Full fucking stop. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it...
HOWEVER...
...the point of this was not to say that people can’t ship Ozai/Ursa or that they can’t have their own headcanons or whatever. The point of this was to say that nothing in canon supports Ozai and Ursa’s marriage as being one of love and mutual respect and in fact, most of what is shown proves the exact opposite.
Ship what you want, it’s okay. Just call a spade a spade. None of this is healthy, loving, or wholesome but it IS sexy. Nothing wrong with that.
Now before someone tries to say I’m a giant hypocrite because “ew you ship Ozula, your opinion doesn’t count”, you’re still completely missing the point here. I would be the first to say that parent/child relationships are abuse, grooming, non-consensual, and morally reprehensible. I’m not out here trying to say this is an ideal relationship or that this is okay to do.
And that is the difference.
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How did the search for Galois in Chapter 33 go for both sides (Draxum and his side looking for Galois after he was captured and Leo and his side when Galois got away from them/evaded Raph)? Who was the most calm, who was the most hysterical, etc.? Did Leo lash out at anyone on his side in particular/blaming them? Did Draxum?
Hmm, I'm trying to think back now to what Draxum and co were doing during the chapter. The fact that I never write this shit down is gonna kill me one day, I swear.
So after Draxum's team regrouped and Cass and Tigerclaw told him what happened, Draxum probably had some...choice words for Tigerclaw. And for everyone else, but they were keeping their distance and he wasn't lashing out at anyone in specific, just anyone he saw. He was probably close to hysterical even before the Phone Call, but the whole thing with Leo parading his victory and verbally attacking him, (which he knew was absolutely deserved and that made it even worse) the sound of Galois screaming for him, hearing Splinter's voice and knowing Donnie's real father was with him-if he wasn't so practical he probably would have attacked Tigerclaw. But he needed to find his kid.
I think I had Tigerclaw and Cass take two of the people they were with to search while Huginn was with the other three, because Draxum trusts none of his allies and thinks they're all secretly planning to take his son and sell him off or whatever. He didn't trust them not to hurt Cass if left alone with her either. (Huginn's harder to injure so he didn't really care) He went off with just Muninn so he could cover more ground and because he'd probably murder anyone else he was around. (Muninn kept his beak very firmly shut) He knows the rough area of the lair but as a show of respect to Donnie's final wishes he never uncovered the exact location. Which he regretted, after sending out search parties to scour the hundreds of miles of sewer tunnels under Manhattan.
Cass probably went into Full Chaos Mode and was ready to destroy any turtles or rats or stupid humans with bats she came across-after making sure her little brother was unharmed. Tigerclaw, he's a professional, he's good at keeping his cool. He kept Cass from breaking her neck and generally balanced her out, they made a pretty good team. Both the gargoyles were seconds away from breaking into tears, but they choked it down. There were several instances where Gale almost came across a search party looking for him, but swam away because he heard voices and assumed it must have been the turtles.
Draxum was completely frantic. Galois was scared and potentially injured and Draxum was terrified by what Leo and the fam might be able to do to the memory spell. He's very confident that it's secure by now, but in Donatello's old home surrounded by Donatello's family and Leo being given ample time to work his machinations-he already has nightmares of the spell unwinding, he can only deal with them by telling himself that they're complete paranoia. If Leo gave them weight, Draxum's heart might give out.
He 100% cried in the shower afterwards.
On the fam's side, let's see, Raph and Splinter searched together so I must have had Leo and Mikey as the other search party, since April stayed back in case Donnie stumbled back in or Draxum found the lair. (she probably called several people to help search, but Leo was in such a state that he just didn't remember anything afterwards)(plus there was the whole 'Donnie is ready to murder and a bit feral right now and he might legit try to kill anyone who corners him' to contend with, so April wasn't a good candidate for engaging) She was probably kind of a mess of everything. Anger, crying, denial. She wouldn't remember much of this either.
Unfortunately, I feel like Splinter would really detach after all the kids were home safe. He'd be good during the initial search, keeping everyone on-task and staying relatively calm, but after realizing that he'd really lost Donnie again he just...shut down. Probably spent the next couple of days staring at the wall. Raph would have accepted defeat first out of everyone and set to taking care of his remaining family, like he does in the movie. Mikey and Leo were the ones who had to be physically stopped, because they would have kept searching until they collapsed. Mikey cried a lot. He still has bouts of crying over it, honestly.
Leo, though, Leo was in an absolute frenzy. He'd planned this out for weeks, and he thought it was all but foolproof. He thought he was entirely in the clear once they got Donnie in that blanket. He'd really believed that the ordeal was over and Donnie was back home for good-and then that was snatched away. He lost his brother again, and he had no more aces up his sleeve. That was his best plan, and it still didn't work. He was completely out of everything, ideas and energy and lies he told himself, and he still didn't have Donnie.
He was nasty. Yelling at everyone, hitting and biting anyone that tried to get him to give up. He was the last one home, and I think I mentioned this but they literally had to sedate him because he was acting so erratically Splinter was legitimately afraid he was going to hurt himself or someone else.
Nobody held it against him. They knew they'd probably react the same in his shoes.
#doth asks#the grammar in this is all over the place but whatever i'm petting a bird#should i tag everyone#ugggh#donatello#leonardo#raphael#michelangelo#splinter#baron draxum#cassandra jones#april o'neil#tigerclaw
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Ayo so 9ft tall hot alien colonizers am I right 👀👀💫??? Thanks sm for writing the PERFECTION that is Revenant 💕✨️💞 BTW that fic got me thinking...
So after the events of TWOW, Miles, near dead tbh, comes across a Nav'vi woman who was separated from her family when trying to escape one of his RDA raids on the villages in search for Jake. She's terrifed of him because she remebers him, but her kind soul patches him up and nurses his weak form back to health in her makeshift home. When recovered, he takes her in for reasons immediately unknown to him or her (but he tells his commanding officer some bs about gaining the hostiles trust or something).
She, being just an average ocean Nav'vi with no warrior spirit in her (kind of like a temeperment similar to Tsireya) can't understand a word of English, and Miles can only understand 5% of what she's saying. They have lost their only reliable translator (Spider), so Miles wants to learn to communicate with her directly because he hates 3rd party communication anyway (as shown by his continued attempt at learning and speaking Nav'vi). He starts to teach her English using his very limited Nav'vi that Spider had taught him.
At first she is of course terrified of him cause he just took her to a place filled with Sky People (of which her only experices with involve deaths, cruelties, and pain). She wonders why he took her with him (spoiler: he took her cause she helped him, was cute, all alone, and the lost/scared/helpless eyes she gave him when he initially came across her got to him. I imagine she looked similar to how Tsireya looked when her dad yelled at her for her allowing Lo'ak to bond with the outcast).
As Miles starts attempting to talk to her in her language and teach her his own language, she starts seeing another side of him. The side that loves his comrades, loves his son, had listened to his sons pleas for mercy on her people, has strong duty to his people (which is respected in her village), jokes around with her and his comrades, and protects her even when really has no reason to since she's technically the enemy. She has to fight this growing warmth and respect for him with the horrible things she sees him do to her people for his mission and personal vegnece against jake, and the horrible things the Sky People he has strong loyalties to continue to do to her home of Pandora. Ofc they are also both physically attracted to each other so this can be mature rated if u feel comfortable (I surely wouldn't mind a bonding ... or several occuring).
Mostly, Miles teaching her English and trying to get past her initial fear of him and all his dominating "demon" presence when he can barely communicate with her. It'd be cute if the first thing she learns to call him is "colonel" because that's what everyone calls him. And even though he later teaches her his name, she still calls him that endearingly. Like, "Miles" is for when she's mad at him 😂.
Miles is real patient with her because she is a good girl. Shes just mostly scared and confused by many things in her new environment (her own emotions most included). Miles is mostly just being himself around her, very aware that shes watching him quite cautiously and curiously. Because of her distrust of Sky People, she's by Miles' side alot, but mostly stays silent because she can't really understand what others are saying around her in rapid English so she just pretty much ignores everyone else and focuses on her Colonel. She reads his eyes, his ears, his tail, and his breathing just to know what's really going on with him. Even after she learns some english from him, she has also learned to understand Miles without his having to speak. Miles keeps his Nav'vi by his side and she answers to no one except her Colonel. Legit Miles would be mad protective of her. No one touches her but him. Real territorial ish. I'm sorry this is getting outta hand. 😂
I just love Stockholm syndrome tropes sm! And u write it so well 😆👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👌🏽💞 certified good ish. Thanks for the thought 💡.
‘Pretty much ignores everyone else and focuses on her Colonel’ BDJSHSBBFSJHDHD SO MF CUTEEE
THIS IS AMAZINGGG I LOVE IT SM
I adore the whole idea of her being able to read him without necessarily understanding the words coming out his mouth, I think he pairs so well with someone like that (lord knows that man would rather have his tail bitten then talk about his emotions).
Would 10000% be extremelyyyy over protective, that terrified expression on your face the day he met you still makes him grimace. You’d have to always be in his eyesight or tucked safely under his arm.
I also think that once you had settled down at his side, the crew would begin to accept you more - your kind nature practically forcing them to.
Like a baby sheep being taken in by a pack of wolves that absolutely adore you.
#colonel quaritch x you#colonel miles quaritch#colonel quaritch x reader#colonel quaritch smut#colonel quaritch#miles quaritch x reader#miles quaritch smut#miles quaritch#avatar x you#avatar x reader#avatar the way of water#avatar way of water#avatar 2
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I'm just working some shit out in my head right now and this feels like the only place I have to put it. Trigger warning for suicidal ideation.
I am really really really really really not okay right now. We've spent close to $3k on vet bills since last Thursday and while we certainly do have time to pay it off (thanks care credit!) it's still a hell of a lot of money, especially for our poor asses. It's legit an entire month's worth of income.
My best beloved elder cat Cassandra is still dying of kidney disease and there's literally nothing I can do about it and we're getting closer and closer to the end and I just can't. I can't. I love her so much and I'm gonna miss her with every atom of my being.
I've gotta call my agency and tell them that I need a new client, because the lady that mom and I both take care of is going into a care facility as soon as the end of this month and that's when two thirds of our income will just, like, go up in smoke. I cannot express strongly enough how much I do not want to do this. I'm so burnt out on caregiving that just the idea of taking on a new client makes me want to crawl under the covers and never come back out. The doctor called today to tell me that I'm too fucking fat to have breast reduction surgery. Like, not just a little bit too fat, no, like, I'd have to lose over a hundred pounds before they'd consider it levels of fat. I'm pretty sure that the only way my eating disordered ass can do that is via weight loss surgery (which, ironically, they'd be happy to do for me) so that's not gonna happen and I just get to be in pain forever.
And then there's just, like, That. Trump. The senate. Probably the house. Every hour something new hits me, like, they're 100% gonna get rid of the Endangered Species Act and we're gonna lose so -- god. We're gonna lose so much. I was already struggling hard before this week - winter is always harder. Always. and I've been fighting and clawing and holding it back, but my god, I wanna die so badly right now. I just want to hold my cat and go to sleep and never ever ever wake up, because I'm so scared and feel so helpless and like nothing will ever be good or worthwhile again. It's been a long time since I felt this way, like, just this deep and terrified exhaustion, and I didn't miss it. But here I am, hip deep in mud and I'm so tired of struggling and it's just getting deeper and deeper. I'm not gonna do anything. I wanna be dead, but I don't wanna kill myself, and even if I did, I wouldn't, because I couldn't do that to my mom. She's lost both her parents and I cannot take her child away. Plus, leaving her with four cats - well, soon to be three, but whatever - would be incredibly shitty. But this is the first time I've felt like this since I got medicated and I just don't know what to do about it - I'm maxed out on my lamotrigine and most of the other meds we've tried have had really bad side effects for me. I'd say I hate this so much, but honestly, I'm too empty to feel hate right now. But instead of dying, I'm gonna go eat something. I'm gonna hug my mom when she gets home. Tomorrow, I'm gonna call my psych's office so we can talk about possible courses of action. I'm gonna cuddle my cats. I'm gonna email the therapists I have pulled up to email. I don't get to die, I have plane tickets to Seattle and Columbus and friends to hug, and to get there I just have to keep going. So I'm gonna put one foot in front of another because there's really no other option. And yeah, I'm maybe gonna be crying the whole time, but that's sometimes the way it goes. Anyway. Sorry to anyone who read this, but also, thanks for listening I guess?
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So I just finished reading Can’t Bring Myself To Hate You parts available
I love it like LOVE IT
I’m so fustrated and everyone other than Eris, Bas and the OC.
Like feyre has her high lady stuff, Rhysand, Nyx, her two other sisters and all of the inner court
Nesta has Cassian, Elaine and feyre the inner court and all her Valkyrie training etc
Elaine has Azriel, feyre, nesta, Lucien, and the inner court
What it better yet who does the Oc have. She has bas and eris but even then they aren’t there all the time.
It’s like everyone has forgotten About her. Forgotten that she went through the cauldron also. But it seems like she’s just pushed everything down because she was always the odd one out. So everyone thinks she’s fine and is coping but really she isn’t. And she’s in the brink of fucking spiraling.
It’s almost like she’s terrified of everyone else. And I know that’s not how it is but like she doesn’t want to talk about anything that’s going on with herself because she doesn’t want to be a burden.
And they just take it as oh ok.
Elaine saying to nesta that maybe the Oc just needs time to be alone like she did.
Ok fine valid but you also had everyone trying to help you, checking in on you etc they didn’t leave you alone for 2 years. But also like Elaine had azriel totally invested in her and her recovery the same goes for feyre and rhysand and nesta and cassian
Who’s invested in the OC.
And azriel is treading on a thin line with what he says to Oc. Like read the fucking room before you say those mean things or better yet learn to read her after you say those things I mean you really be kicking her while she’s down huh. I mean sure you apologized but that doesn’t erase everything that those words brought up.
The when she’s talking with eris about *ending* things and how much you can tell she’s actually thought about it like the poor thing. No wonder she doesn’t feel like she’s part of the family like she legit has no one it’s just her and her books and her mind and we all now that our minds can be the absolute worst kind of company.
Anywayyyys love the series. Cant wait for the next part.
❤️ @highladyivy
I love getting to hear people’s thoughts when they’ve recently read cbmthy in total :)
There’s quite a lot I can’t say without revealing the future events in cbmthy but it’s nice to see you getting kind of frustrated with the IC in response to knowing a degree of what’s going on in reader’s mind as she allows her thoughts to gradually surface, slowly plunging deeper into her psychological state 🧡💛
I think this is partially why I’ve decided to write a short in between chapter that will slightly detail what she was like before the fallout with Azriel, that consequently makes her withdraw from the rest of the IC too :)
‘It’s almost like she’s terrified of everyone else. And I know that’s not how it is but like she doesn’t want to talk about anything that’s going on with herself because she doesn’t want to be a burden.’
You’re honestly along the right lines with this! While she isn’t afraid of people exactly, it’s in that vein of fearing vulnerability, and of being emotionally intimate which I think by default has to include an interaction of some kind 🫠
‘The when she’s talking with eris about *ending* things and how much you can tell she’s actually thought about it like the poor thing.’
Haha, yeah, that scene was a little worrying wasn’t it? 😭 oh well, I’m sure she’ll manage, otherwise it’d be a pretty bad story, huh? 🫣
(Bad as in, I’ve said reader will have a happy ending, so it would be kind of irritating if I suddenly turned around and ended the story on her death—which will not be happening)
‘Anywayyyys love the series. Cant wait for the next part.’
Thank you so much!!! It was lovely getting to see your reactions to the different things that have happened, and I hope you’ll enjoy the next part when it’s finished!! 🧡💛
Thank you for reading cbmthy 🫂
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So, since I’ve been diagnosed with hEDS (bar any severe vascular symptoms being discovered in my echocardiogram 🤞) I guess I’ll ramble the thoughts that have been bouncing in my brain like an old screensaver. I guess tw for (mostly unintentional) ableism below the cut.
So… looking back, so many things make sense. My whole family and all my schoolmates thought I was making it up, but I legit had the most fragile and bendy little ankles as a kid. I routinely sprained my ankles, rolled them, etc. At least once a week but more often close to daily. I don’t really blame my classmates for not believing it… they were 6-9, and everyone around them was saying I was “dramatic” or something. But looking back, the adults in my life never bothered to check what was wrong, or if there WAS anything wrong. They just dismissed me. I spent the first 25 years of my life thinking I was weak. That straining myself with exercise would cure me (spoilers: it made me injure myself in ways I’m still fixing in physical therapy).
My chronic issues were dismissed as normal problems all my life. When I finally described them to my doctors I feel like I earned some sort of achievement: ��Stun Your Doctor Into Silence.” They could not stress enough that my experiences were abnormal and harmful, and were terrified that I just suffered that in silence my entire youth. Yeah… not the greatest thing to hear, validating though it may be.
The weirdest thing though was that my mom, my abusive mom who let me develop walking pneumonia because she thought I was being dramatic about my MONTH LONG COUGH, just… agreed with my assessment. Without question. She said she was sorry, and at the time, they just didn’t know. It was a baffling moment. This is the woman who insists her years of abuse are just cruel lies I made up about her, and who goes into defensive hysterics when I would call her out. I genuinely don’t know how to react to that. Have I gotten better at explaining myself? Has she learned her le— no she fucking hasn’t, I’m not falling for that one again. But still… it felt weirdly reassuring to have her, of all people, listen to me.
I’m not sure what others can take from this. I guess just… believe your children. Listen to them. They might have problems you can’t see. Problems that, left alone, may cause a lifetime of damage and trauma.
My physical therapist asked me what gym was like as a kid. I said that I frequently got overheated, dizzy, injured and embarrassed. I couldn’t do push ups- my joints subluxated. I couldn’t run for the same reason. The only thing I was good at was, unsurprisingly, the stretching and flexibility exercises. She was pretty shocked, and said that I should have been completely excused from gym for my own health. She’s right, of course. I wonder what my life would have been like if we knew that I had a genetic disorder? It’s hard to imagine.
#heds#hypermobility spectrum disorder#hypermobile ehlers danlos#physically disabled#tw child abuse#tw ableism
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♪
For every ♪ in my inbox I'll post a song I listen to for character inspiration. || Accepting always
I'll do three hellaverse nerds >:3c
Stepdad - Parrot
Most often, I stay level-headed. As they say, I'm on the ball. Sometimes, my mind wanders, and I don't know where he'll end up at all. Then I feel like a pet store parrot, ever spouting words. And when I've had a few too many, I get quite excited, I start talking very loudly and this is when- I've said a fair share of stupid things that I can't hide My wonderful friends just roll their eyes, stay by my side
This song just gives me such FIZZ energy. It's this delicate balance between being himself and being a people pleaser than he feels he never quite manages, always a touch too abrasive, too silly to the point of being annoying, yet those who care about him still stick around.
GHOST - The chattering lack of common sense
Moving along, dancing along, playing along - I am Waiting for it, preparing it, looking for it - I am Feeling around, messing around, looking around - I am Laughing a lot, losing a lot, looking at you - I am And what the hell should I do? I've been feeling out of order. I've been sorta noticing. Fallacies and things that see me. Surely, you've always known, I'm a little out of sorts. First impressions reborn. This is what I've come to be (This is what I shouldn't be). This is what I wanna be.
Not only is the music itself the right kind of unhinged (with a touch of canned laughter that fits Al so very well) but the song itself talks about masking things with smiles, planning interactions, it all just screams manipulator but perhaps one desperately grasping for control. Also that last line fits my Al so well because he LOVES who he is in hell, loves the power that comes with being the Radio Demon and would never want to go back to just being a man.
My Chemical Romance - Heaven help us
I'm at this old hotel, but can't tell if I've been breathing or sleeping or screaming or waiting for the man to call, and maybe all of the above. 'Cause mostly I've been sprawled on these cathedral steps, while spitting out the blood and screaming - Someone save us Heaven help us now, Come crashing down. We'll hear the sound, as you're falling down. And will you pray for me? Or make a saint of me? And will you lay for me? Or make saint...? 'Cause I'll give you all the nails you need, cover me in gasoline, wipe away those tears of blood again, and the punchline to the joke is asking - Someone save us
I can literally picture this being after episode 5, where Luci is just pleading to the heavens - figuratively - that nothing bad happens to Charlie. That maybe, just maybe, Heaven will listen but he doesn't have high hopes and he's so fucking terrified she's going to get hurt. He'd rather sacrifice himself that allow that to happen. I legit have a full animatic in my brain that I definitely don't have the focus to make but it'd have little flashbacks to his fall or moments afterwards and just aH. SO GOOD.
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Dear friends, I believe it's time to send a computer exorcist to my humble dwelling place. The reason I've been gone (if you've noticed I've been gone) for the past few days? 5 more blue screens of death and one refusal to completely shut down.
The utter heartbreak of these things? This is a new computer. My dad got it for me for Christmas.
I've been in charge of a computer for at least 20 years now. I've dealt with many problems, I've caused my fair share of problems through just ignorance at the start, through not checking things out thoroughly enough before installing them or whatever (again, at the start). I've dealt with viruses, malware, just weird borked up problems that develop over time as a computer ages. But I've never had multiple computers act like this at the same time.
It's got to be me. But I don't know how or why. This issue started with my poor Mass Effect: Andromeda again. I installed Steam and then Halo and everything ran perfectly (this girl has more RAM so the graphics are GORGEOUS). I installed MEA and when I tried to launch it, I got thrown into a loop of blue screen-reboot-blue screen-reboot 4 times. I finally got it out of that and started researching the problem. Turns out my graphics card driver, which was supposed to support DirectX 12, had a big ol' blank where it came to DirectX. Updated the driver, MEA could launch without dying.
That night, I shut the computer down, everything looked normal, the monitor went off, the keyboard and mouse shut down, but the pc itself stayed powered on. Dead but humming away, utterly unable to be reached by mouse or keyboard. 😐 Had to hard shut it down, then this morning, discovered that it was an known issue with a Windows update. 😑 At least you can uninstall updates.
Then while I was sitting here just looking at my email... blue screen. Oh, didn't you know that that wasn't the right Network adapter driver? Silly girl! Updated it.
Now I'm just staring at it, waiting for the next disaster. I legit feel cursed right about now. I don't see how I could've anticipated any of the above but yet... I'm sure it's somehow my fault. Just like whatever else goes wrong. It'll be my fault for wanting a working computer, I guess. I feel SO BAD for my dad. He wanted to do something so nice and awesome for me (and he DID) and I didn't want to tell him about all of these issues but he came through during one of the blue screen moments so there was no hiding it.
Otherwise, it's an amazing computer, has so much power and if I can just get it past these weird driver issues (everything is updated now, done directly, not using the Windows update thing), I think she'll be a great, awesome pc friend.
I just wish I didn't feel so cursed right now. This is such a wonderful gift and I feel terrified to be happy about it because then something else goes wrong.
Also, apropos of nothing but I truly dislike Windows 11 emojis. Where are my cute emojis? Now they all look as borked up as I feel! 😱😱😱 (Depending on your device, they probably look exactly the same as they did before, of course. 😉But to me? They looked CURSED. 😨)
The ones on the left are the ones I'm used to. The ones on the right are trying to look 3D, I guess? But at a small size, they just look weird and unclear or something to me. Not a big deal, I'll adapt, but I'm an emoji girl, y'all know that if you've been around me long enough, and this makes me feel like I'm suddenly speaking with an unfamiliar accent or something.
Ending with the minor issue. I'll hopefully catch back up with everything I've missed ASAP if my new girl can outrun the out-of-the-box driver issues she's been plagued with. Poor, sweet girl. I know she's good, they just gave her a terrible start. 🤗
THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HUG EMOJI. 😭OH MAN THIS ONE IS EVEN WORSE.
*sigh* Goodbye for now, frens. Love you. 💖
#about me#computer issues#computer problems#i am cursed#ais has a sad#ais has such a sad she can't even#ageless aislynn
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Amnesia: Later Part 5 - Toma Route
Well well, Toma's big brother side of him is also basically what makes him the crazy guy that he is so it's difficult to like the former without liking the latter in a way, but yeah love how when the heroine forgot something at school and the first thing he thought of was to sneak in haha. Lmao when the heroine said she came back just for her eraser🤣 Toma and his scary story in the dark, that's so frightening🤣 It was so cute how honest the heroine was telling Toma that she wanted to be by his side and that she wanted to tell him she likes him whenever she wants and how much she cares for him hahaha, who can say no when she says that?🥲 The two of them cooking together is adorable, and I love how Toma is the pro hahaha. LMAO at the cage being the thing Toma wasted the most money on hahaha. It's very sweet of him to want to fund a trip for the three of them as a graduation gift to Shin.
I never really thought about Rika and Toma being alike but I guess it is true in a way with how dedicated and obsessed they are with the person they love but never thinking they could actually be together with them, and of course the misunderstandings and lack of communication haha. I have to agree with Toma for being so mad at seeing Rika with the heroine. I mean I generally like Rika but she was terrifying in Toma's route with how crazy they all were so I definitely don't blame Toma for getting angry at the sight of her, the heroine is way too kind. Legit died when Toma went with the heroine to another lingerie shop and met the same salesperson who dragged him in hahahaha. Although it's nice to see how devoted Toma is to the heroine and that he's reflecting on his past actions, I definitely can't blame Shin for being so disgusted and mad at Toma for doing what he did. I liked the heroine's reasons for forgiving Toma, it felt very understandable because even though the cage thing and stuff was scary, she trusted Toma, and it was true that it protected her from the escalating harassment that she was genuinely fearful of, yet she never wavered in believing in Toma's intentions, so I can see why she would forgive him. It's funny how they made up and had hotpot afterwards, I love their relationship. It made me happy to see how honest the heroine was about wanting to continue living with Toma and how she didn't want to say goodbye and go back home. I'm glad that Toma expressed his desire to marry her and be together forever even if they're still students.
Overall, Toma's route felt really short! I feel like they really could have expanded on it because it seemed like they weren't sure what to do with it and just decided that all they needed to resolve was the cage thing and then yay let's get married lol. Like yeah, they can live together but they don't really have to get married but I guess it's also understandable because Toma is a proper 'big brother' figure and he'll want to do things properly haha. I think I would have appreciated just seeing them enjoy their lives a bit more and expand outside of the childhood thing because they're more than just their childhood now.
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Top 10 Mario Characters (Remake)
Number 1. Bowser - Bowser is a genuinely great villain and fun as hell. Sure, there are a crapton of underrated villains in the Mario series, but no matter what you cannot really hate this guy. He’s a giant fire breathing turtle-dragon who’s a evil king, but he’s also a meathead, arrogant as hell, has very cool boss fights, is a surprisingly good father to his kids, and he’s an amazing protagonist and ally, as shown in games like Bowser’s Inside Story, and the Paper Mario Series. At the end of the day, Bowser is just an entertaining villain and an great character.
Number 2. Wario - Whaddya expect? Wario is a perfect take on an “Mario Double” by not being a literal Evil Mario. He’s just a disgusting, rude, and greedy little bastard man that just so happens to not only look similar to Mario, but is also the exact opposite of everything Mario is! He’s also a game developer, and a treasure hunter, plus his games are actually pretty fun. In other words, Wario for the win!
Number 3. King Boo - The Boo’s are annoying little shits and the cutest enemies in the series, but this guy is legit nightmare fuel and a delightful slice of ham. He captured Mario, he captured Peach, he turned Mario and Peach into paintings, and he went from wanting to capture Luigi to just wanting to outright kill him! Also, much like Bowser, he's consistently entertaining every time he is on screen, and I find it surprising he isn't an Mario RPG villain because he certainly fits that description pretty damn well. Overall King Boo is just a delight to see, and he’s the perfect nemesis for Luigi.
Number 4. Dimentio - Easily the biggest asshole in the Paper Mario games, and the biggest asshole in the whole series. This jester is suave, smug, manipulative, AND sadistic. He feels less like a Mario villain, and more akin to a Final Fantasy or Kirby villain. Also the twist with him betraying Bleck was somehow not the asspull I thought it was when I first played the game, and it was actual kinda built up well throughout the game.
Number 5. The Shadow Queen - The easiest way to describe The Shadow Queen is that she’s a Kirby final boss in a Mario game. Eldrich in nature, terrifying, powerful, and PURE EVIL. Also, despite just being the final boss, her build up is done exceedingly well, so she doesn’t feel out of place either. In short, this ghastly demon queen is so non-Mario as a villain that it works perfectly in her favor.
Number 6. Count Bleck - A well written tragic villain in a Mario game that is also quite the horrifying bastard? HELL YES!
Number 7. Bowser Jr - Bowser Jr is a small gremlin that is on the same level of fun as his father, and is extremely underrated. He’s got some of the most versatile bosses in the series due to his mechs and clown car, is very energetic, and his relationship with his dad is pretty healthy and fun. In short, the son of Bowser is just neat. However his biggest problem is that he's so underutilized in the mainline games, like how does Nintendo hit gold and decide not to use it often.
Number 8. Rosalina - She is beauty, she is grace, she has a sad backstory, she's helpful, she's the mother of these stars that become planets, she's considered to be either a witch or a goddess, and overall out of all the princesses in the series... I don't think we've had one like her. Daisy is outgoing and tomboyish, Peach is more refined, but Rosalina feels like a divine entity mixed with a mother figure who's experienced a lot. Sorry, but top 2 goes to star mom.
Number 9. Princess Daisy - Do I have to explain? Despite only appearing in an obscure ass game and some party games, Daisy is a HUGE contrast to Peach, and it’s in a good way. She’s a tomboy, is loud and proud, and her energy is constantly high as all hell.
Number 10. Princess Peach - When she isn’t being kidnapped by Bowser, she’s actually pretty fun. Sure she lack’s Daisy’s high energy, and is more “girly,” but she’s still got some sass and her own unique type of high energy that is let out in the party games. Also her Mario 64 castle theme is one of the best leitmotif’s in the series.
#bowser#dimentio#rosalina#king boo#count bleck#bowser jr#princess daisy#princess peach#Wario#Shadow queen#super mario bros#luigis mansion#paper mario#ranking
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