#icharomances solas

[icharchivist]

This feels like a great time for you to ponder how Lavellan would feel in that situation. Really picture it!

How did they end up like this? Where are they going to take it next? How does she feel, holding him in her arms, being held by him? How do his lips feel against hers? Does she feel safe and comfortable and warm and like all her worries just melt away at the touch of his lips? Can she feel her heartbeat quicken, her breath hitch in her throat? Do their hands wander? Do soft little gasps escape them, for the other to greedily swallow, or are they so lost in each other that they don't even think about something as inconsequential as the noises they might be making?

Very important questions, all of them. <3

SHADES??? SHADES HELLO?? THAT'S JUST EVIL WHAT THE HELL????

you sure saw an opening and went "i may not know DA all that well but i will NOT leave Icha untouched when she show her weak point"

aND YOU JUST MAKE ME BLUSH HARDER THIS IS SO MEAN.

Anyway so yes i've thought about it,

so in DAI there's a line that implies they never had sex during the duration of their initial relationship ("what is that curse your people say? May the Dread Wolf take you?" "and so he did." "I did not. I would not lie with you under false pretenses"), and i HC it to be the case for my Lavellan too....

so it places a possible sex scene (and as it's implied in the fanart also) to be after their reunion in DAVG 8 years later when she gives up the Awakened World to follow Solas into the prison that awaits him in the Fade.

And it is WHY he looks so desperate in the fanart because no one ever choose Solas above everything else. He's scared that if someone chooses him like that, they'll be twisted, just like he has been trying to follow someone who would never do anything for him in return.

A romanced Lavellan refusing to abandon him for 10 years, refusing to leave him alone, following him even in the most terrible place in the world, and still being kind and wise and loving and not trying to twist him or use him, and who sees him for who he is and not who they want him to be?

This is the purest form of devotion for him. After years of pushing her away because he didn't want to stain her with his sins, the realization he's so loved, unconditionally, regardless.

He's known as "he who hunts alone", he's a man who was forced into a loneliness he was terrified about (his biggest fear is to die alone), he's so desperately lonely and desperately yearning to not be anymore, but doesn't know how not to be when it's all he's ever been for thousands of years.

And on top of that Solas is pretty touch starved, as it shows in his romance in DAI, he legit cannot keep his hands away. And it's why it's so touching that the romance endcredit for the game is

him holding her so tight, head buried on her shoulder, like he can't believe she's really here with him. The position of her arm looking like he pulled her into a hug while she was wrapping herself around him, but he was so quick her arm is a bit stuck on his chest instead. And her having to be on her tippy toes because he's pulling her so close it lifts her up.

He's THAT touch starved, he adores her THAT much, and letting go of his burden to realize his lover still wants him, loves him, denies him this loneliness he was cursed with...

So back to the art and also my general HCs is that once they end up in the prison, and after he gives her the biggest hug the world has ever seen, she'll drag him to find some place in the prison that is clean and has some water so she can clean his wounds first. And then. well.

Ok i can't deny i thought about it too much but personally i see especially my Lavellan trying to clean his wounds but he looks at her with such adoring eyes and they're talking a bit in the meantime about everything that happened, and they keep sneaking up kissies. And he doesn't care much for his wounds and he always pulls her so close, and she gets more and more carried away and has to remind him that they have to treat his wounds first. But so it goes and it goes and once she has to treat his chest and back especially it is just harder in harder to concentrate especially while they're still sneaking up kissies, and she can't help also kissing some of his scars, and just. it's one thing leading to another. (and then after the whole thing is done my Lavellan will get pouty about how they didn't treat all of his wounds yet but he holds her so tight that she has no choice but to admit this will be a problem for them to deal with later)

as for all your questions.....

She feels safe in his arms, like home again, a home she had been longing for just as much as he had. He holds her so tight, he touches her everywhere, leaving warms all over her body and she knows she belongs with him. Like she's finding back a missing piece of her heart she had been searching for all along.

"his love could burn against me like a bonefire" like that. like that exactly.

Anyway have you SEEN his lips. they're so full and plump... you know his lips are tender to the touch, soft kisses, easily being marked after a few kisses... Like two pieces of a puzzle coming together. And he's so desperate and hungry. And she is too. they've been starving from each other for way too long... And also i know he's a tongue guy (literally kissed her with tongue on their second impulsive kiss this man makes me so unwell) so he's constantly sneaking it in, desperate for every single taste he could catch, as close as humanly possible to embrace somebody, to share everything with somebody.

And yes she feels so comfortable by this. Like. you asked so sorry i'll get into details on that but i especially read my girl as someone who has been "deshumanized" by the worshipping that came when she became the hero of the South. She was considered the prophet of a religion she not only doesn't believe in, but actively resent. Everyone saw her like a god amongst her own, people had struggle to see her as a person again. But Solas was one of the first person she met and he was always one to ground her back, to remind her that she was still a person doing her best... and in a sense with Solas being revealed to be "A God" later, and Solas' letters in DAVG proving that Solas felt like himself, as "Solas", not as a god, when he was with her, they're basically two people who had been forced into a position of godhood, worshipped and hated over things bigger than themselves, and yet they could find each others back AS PEOPLE with each others. They Anchored each other and found back what made them THEM, and not just some figures people would worship.

Being in each other's arms for them is about becoming real again. They're no longer the symbols of rebellions, of changes, they're no longer the people who have the burden of the world on their shoulders. They're just themselves, unconditionally loved, and able to feel selfish and personal things with no regard to what others people expect of them.

Their embrace ground them and allow them to just BE again, instead of trying to live up to a purpose, to be "of use", to be tools.

And in a way there is an adoration in the mundane for people who had always been denied even that. The adoration of knowing that no titles, no history, matter as much as the love they bear for one another for the little things that make them THEM.

And i think this is what they feel when they hold each other close. A belonging few people could ever relate to, that they can understand each other without even needing a word, that they can love each other in the way they had been craving for love in a way no one else could truly understand because no one else had ever been in this position. The Euphoria of knowing there's a place for you to be that will accept you, unconditionally, without twisting you, neither out of love nor out of hate.

I think that also answers the "does she feel like all her worries melt away under his kisses" right. Because yes. Because what worries is there if they are together? "it won't be terrible if you're with me" she told him when she walked with him in that prison. There is nothing to worry about as long as she has him in his arms.

She was so scared when he pushed her away. "I can't bear the thought of you alone". She knows he would be the kind to destroy himself for what he believes is the greater good. And she doesn't want that for him. The fact he's here in her arms means no harm can come to him. He's safe. And so is she.

And yes for the kisses and heartbeat and breaths. Everything they share is like it's always been theirs to start with. Her heart beats for him and his heart beats for her, and sharing that, making sure the other knows that, is everything to them.

"I was thinking of a way i could show you how much you matter to me" Solas tells Lavellan in one of his romance scenes. He's so. Desperate to make it clear just how much he loves her. And once he starts calling her Vhenan ("my Heart") he ends up still calling her that when they broke up, in Trespasser and in VG. He calls things the way they are, he says, and he can't lie to himself saying she isn't his beating heart, his love. He's so desperate to share just how deeply he loves her.

My girl was always very opened about sharing her feelings with Solas (she is the one who initiated the first kiss after all) but also i HC that after they broke up, and even more so after she realized he still loved her, she was so determined to make him understand she was never giving up on him, that she will have to do everything in her power to make him feel just how much she loves him.

Each breaths, each heartbeats, each kisses they can share is one step closer to make sure they understand the depth of their feelings for each others.

"Do their hands wander" absolutely, Solas is an ass person. He always has a hand on her ass in some cutscenes 😭 He's constantly holding her so close though, every inches, like it allows him to feel how real she is. And she does too, constantly running her hands everywhere. When they were in relationship she was cuddly, but after everything, after how starved they've been, she just refuses to let go of him. Like even outside of sex i think she'd constantly hold his arm or something, so she knows he's here, he's with her, it's not just a dream.

"Do soft little gasps escape them, for the other to greedily swallow, or are they so lost in each other that they don't even think about something as inconsequential as the noises they might be making?"

i am blushing ways too hard my GOD you really went with all sort of killing questions. and the answer is especially the former. they would be so. so greedy about each others. They've denied each other for so long now it's almost like they have to catch up for all those times. Like they can't keep for themselves just how much the others make them feel, and the other would want to swallow all that the other has to offer. For the person making noises, it doesn't even matter to them that they're being noisy, but the other would be so greedy about hearing everything and swallowing all they can.

and they're both like that. They're just desperate to make their love for each other known.

(i think pre-break up they were mostly trying to be quiet because they'd sneak around to kiss one another -- and they didn't want to drive much attention to themselves. but after 10 years of pent up repressed feelings and now that they're all alone in the Black City? Well let's say that turning it Golden will come with many sounds none of the dreamers will ever be able to hear)

...................

i thought about all of this a normal amount

how dare you do this to me

[icharchivist]

this sets my brain on fire because like, it makes sense from Solas in that sense -- he calls them by their titles more than not because as someone who's been around spirit (/ possibly a former spirit himself, who "calls himself Pride" and has mostly not been using the official name that was put upon him) it makes so much sense.

Like how he can call Varric variation of "Varric" when the conversation is casual, "Master Tethras" when talking about his books, and "child of the stone" when he talks to Varric about dwarven issues or when he thinks Varric is out of his depth (re: when Varric comments on how Cole wants to become human, Solas use "child of the stone" as to remind him that as a dwarf he is in no position to know how spirits are supposed to feel)

so in a sense it's the same way one spirit can represent different emotions and purpose depending on how you approach them - it's not a black and white thing and since a spirit can change from, say, wisdom to pride, depending on how you see them, then similarly, Cassandra can be "Cassandra" as well as she can be "Seeker" depending on how Solas perceive her at the time.

If Solas was indeed a spirit once i feel like a proper role reversal in that sense.

but we also know indeed that Solas doesn't like lying and is bad at it (he just lies a lot by omission but that's a whole different thing he's still a liar. who doesn't straightly lie, but a liar nevertheless) so of course he doesn't want to refer to people as a lie. So he adjusts depending on what the conversation calls for. when he praises Cassandra for her faith, he calls her Cassandra, but when she thinks about the Order or when he talks about her strength as a soldier he talks about her as "Seeker" - it represents a version of the truth at the time, the truth he's talking about

It also puts perspective, if he was indeed a wisdom spirit, to how he calls himself Pride (and we know it's HIM who calls himself that, not others perceiving as such - because the way people perceive him is Dread Wolf. Solas is more likely to embrace seeing himself as prideful and seeing it as the truth about who he is, despite the fact we know from multiple accounts that he cares more about wisdom than pride in itself ("he wants to give wisdom, not orders").). Meaning that he considers it just a "truth" that he's prideful regardless of the fact he represents wisdom more. (in fact he confirms it in Tevinter Nights: "I am not a god, Charter. I am prideful, hotheaded, and foolish, and I am doing what I must." he doesn't have a single positive thing to say about himself) (also sorry this is an honest to god teangent but the rest of this rant: "When you report back to the Inquisitor . . .” His voice faltered. “Say that I am sorry.” oh im so going to *yells in hands*)

BUT it made me suddenly stop in my tracks because i first mumbled "you still stopped calling me "vhenan" when you first broke up with me" but then i suddenly got hit by multiple things at once:

1°, that during the relationship during private prompted conversation he'll only call you "Vhenan" or "My Heart". Inquisitor is reserved to professional statement or banters (mostly because they weren't going to rewrite the personal banters to change that but the wastonian explanation is that when he's serious on the field he sees you as your title more than his lover when he is talking about your job)

2°, that the switch to "Inquisitor" post break up is visibly more painful to him, he's much more strained by saying it in private, which does imply that to him it's hard to lie about what you are to him, even by masking the "truth" he wants to call you with an official name. He forces your professional persona in front of him basically.

3° yet during the break up during one of the option, after he breaks up, when you ask him to explain himself, he removes himself by saying "please, vhenan". even once he has broken up he couldn't bring himself to just "lie" about what you are to him. (just like he textually says, at the angry option "tell me you don't care! tell me you were just playing so i can move on with my stupid life!" and he replies "i can't do that". Even when he's trying to end it he cannot lie about what you are to him: his heart through and through)

4° how easily he ends up slipping and calling her "Vhenan", "My Heart", "My Love" in Trespasser after two years without contact, because the TRUTH is that your identity to him will always be the person he loves. He cannot bring himself to call you a lie, he cannot bring himself to put an emotional distance despite the fact it's what his body language is clearly trying to do (despite his facial journey absolutely not getting that memo). Even at the end of Trespasser where the stakes are "the fate of this world" and it would be fair for him to refer to you with your "work persona" to show distance, he still calls you the "truth" of "you are the love of my life"

so conclusion that this banter says that Solas calls people by what he believes is the truth about them, which is his logic on how he calls people by their nickname, and it's visible in the romance especially post breakup just how much the Inquisitor is, to his eyes "his heart", and that's the identity of his beloved in his mind even if he tries to force the work persona to distance himself from it, because he is best at lying only when he's omitting something and here it's how much he loves you.

.... so anyway i'm having a normal one

[icharchivist]

oh The Grey by Icon For Hire we're so in it right now (popped up in my Solavellan playlist and is making me cry like a baby)

[icharchivist]

who even says this type of things. who. why is he like this.

[icharchivist]

Back On My Bullshit: Part THREE!

just genuinely love that he has the galls to say "i haven't forgotten the kiss :)" and then once it's clear neither has she it's like "huh. mistake. mistake. abort mission mistake." like dude. you said that.

[icharchivist]

[icharchivist]

GUESS WHO JUST GOT ✨~DUMPED~✨ *starts sobbing in my hands*

Back on my Bullshit Part "wait why did i do this to myself AGAIN"

and WHY DOES IT STILL HURTS SO HARD THO

genuinely i was still weeping through it. the fact he's still. so obviously in love??? Like despite everything around the scene he is so loving and it hurts so bad for both of them. Congratz breaking BOTH of your hearts hero.

[icharchivist]

oh my god i usually never get the Solas&Sera banter about his relationship with the Inquisitor, thank you updated banter mods what would i do without you

i was so unready (and it was right after a fight) that i missed Sera's first line BUT

"Only one of us looks foolish and sad" oh he's setting us both up on this one oh my god.

[icharchivist]

sO ANYWAY IM DONE and i still don't recover from this ending ✌️

can't believe that now we're so close to have more...

[icharchivist]

Part two! parts of their conversation that matters in some way or another to me (for romance purpose especially)

I noticed last time i played the friendship path that he looks so much more miserable when it's his love that tells him all of this. He stands much more proud and confident even if you call him out as a friend... but as his lover he just stumbles all over himself.

It's mostly lore, except for the "i want to help you" part but. man.

Also i pick this one mostly because she agrees the Veil needs to go down, but she doesn't agree with the deaths. She would have wanted to secure her place at his side in order to convince him to look for an alternative, one that would result in less death. But well, he pushed her away even so...

Guh what a cutscene. truly a boss fight of its own.

[icharchivist]

to me THIS is sooo important and you know you can't really hide from Cole. He'll know how you feel deep down. Solas doesn't want to hurt people. The fact he's stuck in all of this and he feels like there is no other choice ahead of him is what makes it so tragic.

Also to me this is really the last push my girl would have needed to fully consider that Solas = Fen'Harel. Like all the pieces of evidence and the Viddasala saying he's a chief agent of Fen'Harel along with all the things he "set in motion" would be enough for that, but this specifically would make it certain in her mind.

Especially after they're commenting on the Anchor, which they established come from the Orb that Solas gave Corypheus, knowing the Veil is trying to return to the Anchor (thanks again Cole for the comment), adding to all they learnt about Fen'Harel being the one who created the Veil.

To me it's all of that that finally made it click even though she's dying and still trying to process everything.

But with the way Cole is bringing things up, even more than her own mixed feelings, it makes her want to trust Solas even more. One last time. Reaching him and they'll see.

[icharchivist]

CHEEEW MY OWN HAND TO THE FUCKING BONE

see Solas you should have shared your identity before so she wouldn't have to learn everything at once after you GHOSTED HER FOR TWO YEARS like poor girl is dying and you're adding a mental breakdown on top of that. you're lucky she loves you so.

also like clockwork.

if no one got me i know Cole got me

also bonus including Dorian and Cole's comments about Solas further in because i'm having a moment.

[icharchivist]

and what if i cry? what if?

After Vivienne checking on the Inquisitor during spa day, and Cassandra massive blunder, it's nice to have those convos.

Especially from Sera who didn't like Solas at all to start with and was mocking this relationship at every turn when we were still together, but now is just.... too concerned for her friend to care about how she feels about him as a person.

Blackwall's is nice too, considering he often had deep conversation with Solas about their place as soldiers and all, and while Solas was hostile when the reveal happened, he was also much more ready to accept Blackwall after it, seeing just how much he was trying to be a better person. And it's just also very sweet that he's concerned for her, who helped him get his life back.

And finally there is something a bit hilarious about asking the Pope if she saw your boyfriend, and the fact an army of spies wasn't enough to even find him. But it also reminds me how strategic it may have been for Solas to have his room under Leliana's rookery, always picking up her methods, to prepare for when he would leave...

But overall i'm just soft that the Inquisitor going "any news?" just have Leliana go "it's about Solas isn't it", she knows how much it matters for her, and just... the idea that it's been two years that the Inquisitor is holding on hope, and that Leliana still holds on hope and works on it for her as a sign of friendship (and hating loose ends) just gets to me. especially since it's my Warden x Leliana background, so there's something funny about picturing her on a date with her girlfriend also frantically looking for that one guy who got away for her other friend.

Just, cute. It's nice to see them all care so much...

[icharchivist]

last time i replayed the break up scene i noticed i always skipped over the question she can ask before reacting to the Vallaslin because i thought it was a regular choice... so i tried it last time, and...

i find it so interesting that if she replies "but it was to honor the Elven Gods", Solas says "Nobles would mark the face of their slaves with the Gods they honored"

but it's pretty much implied in Trespasser that the Elven Gods themselves were slavers and tyrant.

I could imagine that there were nobles doing just that, but like. Knowing he only talked about the Vallaslin because he couldn't bring himself to say he was Fen'Harel, and how he knows that sharing this truth is hurtful in some way, i think it's noticeable that he didn't tell her straight up that the Elven Gods were slavers. He knew he was already hurting her by this reveal, that he only did because he was too scared, that he still took care of not hurting her by telling her the truth about the gods themselves.

and idk it just got to me.

just makes the reveal this DLC even More yaknow.

[icharchivist]

oh right i got distracted so i forgot to post, but when you take a look at your hand at the start of Trespasser and the anchor is acting up and Lost Elf starts playing??? immediate tears. the looming presence of Solas still haunting the game even though he left. made so much worse when you romanced him because it's HIS presence and how he saved you from the mark killing you back then, and now the mark is killing you again and he's nowhere to be found, and how when you first meet him he took this one hand, calling you the key to their salvation--

and then HIS MUSIC plays? sobbing.

[icharchivist]

oh and let's not forget Solas' last message to Cole before forcing him to forget who he is :))) because :))) of fucking course :))))