#icharomances solas

[icharchivist]

this sets my brain on fire because like, it makes sense from Solas in that sense -- he calls them by their titles more than not because as someone who's been around spirit (/ possibly a former spirit himself, who "calls himself Pride" and has mostly not been using the official name that was put upon him) it makes so much sense.

Like how he can call Varric variation of "Varric" when the conversation is casual, "Master Tethras" when talking about his books, and "child of the stone" when he talks to Varric about dwarven issues or when he thinks Varric is out of his depth (re: when Varric comments on how Cole wants to become human, Solas use "child of the stone" as to remind him that as a dwarf he is in no position to know how spirits are supposed to feel)

so in a sense it's the same way one spirit can represent different emotions and purpose depending on how you approach them - it's not a black and white thing and since a spirit can change from, say, wisdom to pride, depending on how you see them, then similarly, Cassandra can be "Cassandra" as well as she can be "Seeker" depending on how Solas perceive her at the time.

If Solas was indeed a spirit once i feel like a proper role reversal in that sense.

but we also know indeed that Solas doesn't like lying and is bad at it (he just lies a lot by omission but that's a whole different thing he's still a liar. who doesn't straightly lie, but a liar nevertheless) so of course he doesn't want to refer to people as a lie. So he adjusts depending on what the conversation calls for. when he praises Cassandra for her faith, he calls her Cassandra, but when she thinks about the Order or when he talks about her strength as a soldier he talks about her as "Seeker" - it represents a version of the truth at the time, the truth he's talking about

It also puts perspective, if he was indeed a wisdom spirit, to how he calls himself Pride (and we know it's HIM who calls himself that, not others perceiving as such - because the way people perceive him is Dread Wolf. Solas is more likely to embrace seeing himself as prideful and seeing it as the truth about who he is, despite the fact we know from multiple accounts that he cares more about wisdom than pride in itself ("he wants to give wisdom, not orders").). Meaning that he considers it just a "truth" that he's prideful regardless of the fact he represents wisdom more. (in fact he confirms it in Tevinter Nights: "I am not a god, Charter. I am prideful, hotheaded, and foolish, and I am doing what I must." he doesn't have a single positive thing to say about himself) (also sorry this is an honest to god teangent but the rest of this rant: "When you report back to the Inquisitor . . .” His voice faltered. “Say that I am sorry.” oh im so going to *yells in hands*)

BUT it made me suddenly stop in my tracks because i first mumbled "you still stopped calling me "vhenan" when you first broke up with me" but then i suddenly got hit by multiple things at once:

1°, that during the relationship during private prompted conversation he'll only call you "Vhenan" or "My Heart". Inquisitor is reserved to professional statement or banters (mostly because they weren't going to rewrite the personal banters to change that but the wastonian explanation is that when he's serious on the field he sees you as your title more than his lover when he is talking about your job)

2°, that the switch to "Inquisitor" post break up is visibly more painful to him, he's much more strained by saying it in private, which does imply that to him it's hard to lie about what you are to him, even by masking the "truth" he wants to call you with an official name. He forces your professional persona in front of him basically.

3° yet during the break up during one of the option, after he breaks up, when you ask him to explain himself, he removes himself by saying "please, vhenan". even once he has broken up he couldn't bring himself to just "lie" about what you are to him. (just like he textually says, at the angry option "tell me you don't care! tell me you were just playing so i can move on with my stupid life!" and he replies "i can't do that". Even when he's trying to end it he cannot lie about what you are to him: his heart through and through)

4° how easily he ends up slipping and calling her "Vhenan", "My Heart", "My Love" in Trespasser after two years without contact, because the TRUTH is that your identity to him will always be the person he loves. He cannot bring himself to call you a lie, he cannot bring himself to put an emotional distance despite the fact it's what his body language is clearly trying to do (despite his facial journey absolutely not getting that memo). Even at the end of Trespasser where the stakes are "the fate of this world" and it would be fair for him to refer to you with your "work persona" to show distance, he still calls you the "truth" of "you are the love of my life"

so conclusion that this banter says that Solas calls people by what he believes is the truth about them, which is his logic on how he calls people by their nickname, and it's visible in the romance especially post breakup just how much the Inquisitor is, to his eyes "his heart", and that's the identity of his beloved in his mind even if he tries to force the work persona to distance himself from it, because he is best at lying only when he's omitting something and here it's how much he loves you.

.... so anyway i'm having a normal one

[icharchivist]

oh The Grey by Icon For Hire we're so in it right now (popped up in my Solavellan playlist and is making me cry like a baby)

[icharchivist]

who even says this type of things. who. why is he like this.

[icharchivist]

[icharchivist]

GUESS WHO JUST GOT ✨~DUMPED~✨ *starts sobbing in my hands*

Back on my Bullshit Part "wait why did i do this to myself AGAIN"

and WHY DOES IT STILL HURTS SO HARD THO

genuinely i was still weeping through it. the fact he's still. so obviously in love??? Like despite everything around the scene he is so loving and it hurts so bad for both of them. Congratz breaking BOTH of your hearts hero.

[icharchivist]

oh my god i usually never get the Solas&Sera banter about his relationship with the Inquisitor, thank you updated banter mods what would i do without you

i was so unready (and it was right after a fight) that i missed Sera's first line BUT

"Only one of us looks foolish and sad" oh he's setting us both up on this one oh my god.

[icharchivist]

Back On My Bullshit: Part THREE!

just genuinely love that he has the galls to say "i haven't forgotten the kiss :)" and then once it's clear neither has she it's like "huh. mistake. mistake. abort mission mistake." like dude. you said that.

[icharchivist]

sO ANYWAY IM DONE and i still don't recover from this ending ✌️

can't believe that now we're so close to have more...

[icharchivist]

Part two! parts of their conversation that matters in some way or another to me (for romance purpose especially)

I noticed last time i played the friendship path that he looks so much more miserable when it's his love that tells him all of this. He stands much more proud and confident even if you call him out as a friend... but as his lover he just stumbles all over himself.

It's mostly lore, except for the "i want to help you" part but. man.

Also i pick this one mostly because she agrees the Veil needs to go down, but she doesn't agree with the deaths. She would have wanted to secure her place at his side in order to convince him to look for an alternative, one that would result in less death. But well, he pushed her away even so...

Guh what a cutscene. truly a boss fight of its own.

[icharchivist]

to me THIS is sooo important and you know you can't really hide from Cole. He'll know how you feel deep down. Solas doesn't want to hurt people. The fact he's stuck in all of this and he feels like there is no other choice ahead of him is what makes it so tragic.

Also to me this is really the last push my girl would have needed to fully consider that Solas = Fen'Harel. Like all the pieces of evidence and the Viddasala saying he's a chief agent of Fen'Harel along with all the things he "set in motion" would be enough for that, but this specifically would make it certain in her mind.

Especially after they're commenting on the Anchor, which they established come from the Orb that Solas gave Corypheus, knowing the Veil is trying to return to the Anchor (thanks again Cole for the comment), adding to all they learnt about Fen'Harel being the one who created the Veil.

To me it's all of that that finally made it click even though she's dying and still trying to process everything.

But with the way Cole is bringing things up, even more than her own mixed feelings, it makes her want to trust Solas even more. One last time. Reaching him and they'll see.

[icharchivist]

CHEEEW MY OWN HAND TO THE FUCKING BONE

see Solas you should have shared your identity before so she wouldn't have to learn everything at once after you GHOSTED HER FOR TWO YEARS like poor girl is dying and you're adding a mental breakdown on top of that. you're lucky she loves you so.

also like clockwork.

if no one got me i know Cole got me

also bonus including Dorian and Cole's comments about Solas further in because i'm having a moment.

[icharchivist]

and what if i cry? what if?

After Vivienne checking on the Inquisitor during spa day, and Cassandra massive blunder, it's nice to have those convos.

Especially from Sera who didn't like Solas at all to start with and was mocking this relationship at every turn when we were still together, but now is just.... too concerned for her friend to care about how she feels about him as a person.

Blackwall's is nice too, considering he often had deep conversation with Solas about their place as soldiers and all, and while Solas was hostile when the reveal happened, he was also much more ready to accept Blackwall after it, seeing just how much he was trying to be a better person. And it's just also very sweet that he's concerned for her, who helped him get his life back.

And finally there is something a bit hilarious about asking the Pope if she saw your boyfriend, and the fact an army of spies wasn't enough to even find him. But it also reminds me how strategic it may have been for Solas to have his room under Leliana's rookery, always picking up her methods, to prepare for when he would leave...

But overall i'm just soft that the Inquisitor going "any news?" just have Leliana go "it's about Solas isn't it", she knows how much it matters for her, and just... the idea that it's been two years that the Inquisitor is holding on hope, and that Leliana still holds on hope and works on it for her as a sign of friendship (and hating loose ends) just gets to me. especially since it's my Warden x Leliana background, so there's something funny about picturing her on a date with her girlfriend also frantically looking for that one guy who got away for her other friend.

Just, cute. It's nice to see them all care so much...

[icharchivist]

last time i replayed the break up scene i noticed i always skipped over the question she can ask before reacting to the Vallaslin because i thought it was a regular choice... so i tried it last time, and...

i find it so interesting that if she replies "but it was to honor the Elven Gods", Solas says "Nobles would mark the face of their slaves with the Gods they honored"

but it's pretty much implied in Trespasser that the Elven Gods themselves were slavers and tyrant.

I could imagine that there were nobles doing just that, but like. Knowing he only talked about the Vallaslin because he couldn't bring himself to say he was Fen'Harel, and how he knows that sharing this truth is hurtful in some way, i think it's noticeable that he didn't tell her straight up that the Elven Gods were slavers. He knew he was already hurting her by this reveal, that he only did because he was too scared, that he still took care of not hurting her by telling her the truth about the gods themselves.

and idk it just got to me.

just makes the reveal this DLC even More yaknow.

[icharchivist]

oh right i got distracted so i forgot to post, but when you take a look at your hand at the start of Trespasser and the anchor is acting up and Lost Elf starts playing??? immediate tears. the looming presence of Solas still haunting the game even though he left. made so much worse when you romanced him because it's HIS presence and how he saved you from the mark killing you back then, and now the mark is killing you again and he's nowhere to be found, and how when you first meet him he took this one hand, calling you the key to their salvation--

and then HIS MUSIC plays? sobbing.

[icharchivist]

oh and let's not forget Solas' last message to Cole before forcing him to forget who he is :))) because :))) of fucking course :))))

[icharchivist]

And the Solavellan's ending jumpcut because i'm emotionally compromised and will not know peace <//333

they just make me so emotional, the fact he's about to leave and he could just have reinforced the break up to keep her away, but instead couldn't help just making sure she knows he loved her. That it was "real", while the whole thing his one banter with Cole mention is that he didn't even feel that this world was "real". And it's why he even gave his orb to Corypheus, not caring the consequences as long as he would get his desired ending. She became real to him, their feelings for each other was "real". acknowledging how real it all is, makes also the very sins he sees smashed in front of his eyes real. But he also has to make sure she knows.

So he still leaves her with the worst mixed feelings ever. He reinforces that he loved her, and then he disappears without a word.

On the balcony, watching the dawn come, she is alone. If you romance anyone else, you are smiling in the arms of your beloved. But she's alone and concerned. She can't bask in her own victory and glory. Last time she was promised that the dawn would come, Solas was by her side, helping her out of the darkness, giving her an opportunity to rebuild. Now she's alone and she doesn't know where he is. And she knows she was loved. So everything just is more confusing.

Kudos also to Leliana trying so hard to say Solas will come back, trying to cheer up on her friend who's obviously feeling heartbroken. Especially since her Rookery was just above Solas' room. She holds on hope for her friend. But therefore it adds even more to the feeling that Solas left for more reasons than "this relationship is over".

how do you get closure from that?

and of course then the post-credit scene revealing the secret Solas has been keeping all along.

And still the *nervous laughing* what the fuck? as the ending rolls.

And that's where the main game ends the scene.

Until Trepasser set two years later but that's another story :)