#and I know we're about to meet David

[evakuality]

Pros of using DEB in real time mode: the sheer joy of getting things in real time and re-experiencing 2019 life.  The wonderful overwhelm of the social media still coming 3 hours later after the first party clip... just being in the moment with it all

Cons of using DEB in real time mode: I have very little willpower so forcing myself not to ‘watch ahead’ is VERY HARD

[pargolettasworld]

So, because I am incurably, morbidly curious, I watched Jessie Gender's four-hour-and-seventeen-minute-long video on . . . well, the title suggests "Zionism, Antisemitism, and the Left." To her credit, Gender does touch on all three of these topics, though not with the same degree of skill, graciousness, or understanding of the topics at hand. I've just had a very nice dinner, and I'm feeling generous, so let's see how this video stacks up. Strap in. This is going to get long.

I should admit right off the bat that I'm only a casual, occasional watcher of Jessie Gender. I'm not a deep fan, and I'm sure there is Jessie Gender Lore™ out there that I'm not aware of, but I think I've seen enough of her videos to get a general sense of her house style. This video hits a lot of the hallmarks of her style. She speaks very fast and very passionately, occasionally trips over her own words (something that I've done many a time, so I really do feel that), and is inordinately fond of nominalizations. She's especially fond of the word "ostracization," for some reason, which drives me nuts because "ostracism" is right there. So, in style, it appears to hew to the Jessie Gender House Style pretty well.

On to the video itself. The first thing I will observe about it is that it is in every possible way a meeting that could have been an email. There was no need for this to be the same length as the Extended Edition of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003). There's a lot of padding, significant digressions, and a certain degree of repetition. It's easy to forget the beginning of the video by the time you're an hour into the thing.

The major question that hangs over this opus is: Why, and for whom, was it made? I'm honestly not sure who the intended audience for this thing is, nor why Gender felt that she had to make it. She alludes in the first half hour to feeling like she's lost the trust and support of some of her Jewish fans/friends/acquaintances/Patreon patrons, and she chalks it up to a previous video that she made (which I have not seen, and which I am not inclined to seek out). But neither the structure nor the thesis nor the conclusion of the video seem like they would win back any of these folks.

I don't think that Jewish viewers are her intended audience -- certainly not with the way she talks about Jews throughout the video. I'm also having a hard time believing that really committed leftists are her audience, either, since I don't think she's really saying much that leftists haven't already heard, or offering new perspectives on her topic(s). And anyone who has made it this far into the year of 5784 and is still undecided about the contemporary iteration of The Jewish Question is probably not going to be interested in sitting through nearly four and a half hours of relentless lecture. So I'm still left wondering why, and for whom, did Jessie Gender make this video?

Gender assures us, her viewers, of several things that are meant to be reassuring. She's done lots and lots of research, for one thing. And she's asked some-of-her-best-friends-who-are-Jewish to be sensitivity readers. We're given to understand that we are hearing the nitpicked, edited, and polished version of the script. I'd hate to see what the first draft looked like . . .

She also tells us that there are going to be lots of Foreign Words And Names, and that she and her mouth-hole have A Hard Time pronouncing Foreign Words And Names. Her loyal staff have made her a pronunciation guide -- which appears to have been used perhaps as a drinks coaster, since there are some howlers here. The Jews originating from the MENA regions are the "Misrai" (Mizrahi) Jews, the first Prime Minister of Israel was "David Ben-Gron" (David Ben-Gurion), the Revisionist Zionist leader was "Zeeeeeeeeev Zarbinsky" (Ze'ev Jabotinsky), and the Palestinian uprisings of 1987 - 1993 and 2000 - 2005 go by the name "Infitada" (Intifada).

You know that phrase "If white people can learn to say Tchaikovsky and Schwarzenegger, they can learn to say [your name from an African or Asian language]?" I agree completely with the conclusion, but I question the premise. Jessie Gender makes me question the premise harder. If she had any real interest in the topic, she would have practiced those names, but I don't think she does, so she didn't.

Moving on to the actual content of the video. It's . . . weird. Jessie Gender begins the video believing that Zionism is an evil force for colonialism, White supremacy, oppression, and genocide. She ends the video believing that Zionism is an evil force for colonialism, White supremacy, oppression, and genocide. But along the way, she's confronted with quite a lot of inconvenient facts that threaten to complicate this perspective.

Gender devotes roughly two hours and fifteen minutes of her video, a smidge over half of the runtime, on three segments that offer a history of Zionism, the iterations of Zionism as a political ideology, and what she calls "Zionism as emotion," which is a condescending way to refer to the importance of Zionism to Jews. I'd guess that her research for these segments might have surprised her. It turns out, per Jessie Gender, that there is both a reason behind and a context for nineteenth-century Zionism, quite a lot of logic behind why the Jews wanted to go to Israel, and ample evidence that a majority of Jews have some kind of stake in both Israel and some variation of Zionism.

The reason I think that this research might have surprised her is that she ends each of these segments with a small diatribe about the evil colonialist, capitalist, oppressive, genocidal force that is Zionism, even as the segments suggest nuance, logic, and reason behind the philosophy. We can't have that on a good lefty video, though, can we? The more Gender confronts evidence that there is more to Zionism than meets her eyes, the more she doubles down, digs in her heels, and refuses to accept even the barest shreds of non-negativity about Zionism. Every now and then, she comes up with a lovely sentence or two that shows some understanding of a Jewish perspective on the world, but then furiously backpedals -- we mustn't forget that this Jewish perspective of oppression, mass murder, and international blame has only led to the Evil Of Zionism, after all.

What's really fascinating is how hard she works to avoid blaming actual Jews for all of this evil. I think she's doing this with the best of intentions. A for effort. C for effect. She wants to make a distinction between "Zionism" and "Judaism," in the sense of "Zionism does not equate to Judaism, so being antisemitic to Judaism because you hate Zionism is bad." She tries so hard that she loses sight of the actual people involved. There are a lot of places where she talks about "Judaism" where what she actually means is "the Jews." Or, as she calls us, "Jewish people." Which isn't bad, and it isn't really wrong, but it doesn't quite communicate the sense of Am Yisrael that is at the heart of Zionism.

In fact, she's so desperate to separate Zionism from Jewish people that she starts to talk about it almost as an individual character in the story, with agency, desires, wishes, and goals of its own, totally disconnected from the people who created it. Zionism demands the genocide of Palestinians, Zionism needs colonialism, Zionism has a nice lunch date with neoliberalism and spends the afternoon browsing department stores with capitalism. In effect, Zionism becomes the dragon, and Gender really wishes that the passive, easily-led Jewish people would unite behind some White Knight and slay the dragon so everyone could be happy and free and leftist. Despite the two hours she spent on her deep dive into the history and meaning of Zionism, she cannot fathom why the Jewish people don't just do this.

I said earlier that quite a lot of this video consists of padding. Gender identifies herself as a lefty anarchist, opposed to nation-states, capitalism, neoliberalism, the United States, the British Empire, Israel, Joe Biden, "Ka-MAH-la" Harris, transphobia in Western societies . . . the usual suspects. Frequently, especially in the back half of the video, she'll wander off into long fantasias about the crimes against liberty perpetrated by the West at large, as well as their character Capitalism, and then remember that this is supposed to be a video about Zionism, and then finish with the equivalent of "Peter Rabbit did sort of that kind of thing, too."

One of the alleged purposes of this video is to discuss Antisemitism On The Left, but Gender . . . pretty much elides doing that. She gets close a couple of times, and she does grudgingly admit that some leftists coming from some branches of leftism might sometimes say things that might be antisemitic, and that's Bad, and it makes Jewish people feel Unsafe and Not Inclined To Agree With Leftists that The Dragon Known As Zionism Must Be Slain Heroically. But don't stress about it. The important thing is that Israel Must Stop Its Genocide and Palestinians Should Have Self-Determination (which is only withheld from them by Israel -- excuse me, by Zionism -- and certainly not by those eminently-justified-if-a-little-uncouth plucky fighters, Hamas.

There are quite a lot of lengthy quotes from Sources, read by guest stars, which is a nice touch to break up the video. The vast majority of these Sources -- especially the ones in the "history of Zionism" segment -- are not actually written by Zionists. You get a lot of academic pontificating about the failures, shortcomings, and nefarious activities of Zionism, but you hear almost nothing from actual Zionists, especially contemporary Zionists. This does not look nearly as good or as well-researched as it's meant to look.

So what do we get in the end, after four hours and seventeen minutes of watching this? Honestly . . . not much. Gender gives enough background on the history of Zionism, antisemitism, and Jewish attitudes toward Israel that hardcore leftists watching will be more annoyed than convinced. She condescends to both Jews and Arabs, mentioning repeatedly that she, as a White Gentile, really doesn't have any business butting in on these complex questions -- but that's not going to stop her from butting in like the lefty shiksa she is! She's too mealy-mouthed to come right out and say anything blatantly antisemitic, but disdain for Jewish concepts of homeland, belonging, origin, and self-determination pervade the whole thing.

I don't think that Jessie Gender is an idiot -- she seems to be pretty smart, and has both a firm sense of her own political philosophy and the stick-to-it-ive-ness to do far more research into things like the development of Zionism and the history of antisemitism than one might expect. But the video really is, to bring up a playwright from the hated West, "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

[bluebeary-jay]

Let me (put my lips to somethin')

Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: 5 times you wanted to kiss Joel, and 1 time it actually happened (or: your relationship with Joel over the years)

Tags: 5+1 babeyyy, VERY self-indulged (i just want this man to call me his babygirl 😫), FLUFF, tooth-rotting fluff even, a bit of angst, age gap, PINING, i could write several fics out of this but no we're doing 5+1! also reader has she/her pronouns (i tried not to but at some point it was getting difficult not to use any :( sorry guys)

Warnings: descriptions of violence and wounds, cursing, getting drunk, David (which is a warning in itself), allusions to SA (but nothing happens)

Word count: ~9.4K (jesus i really got carried away im not doing that again for at least some time)

A/N: i am baack!! i finally had time to finish this monster and i guess it's ready to post <3 i absolutely ADORE 5+1 fics and always wanted to write one on my own. so here it is!! hope you enjoy because i loved writing it

1. boston qz

You bit your forearm harder, trying to hold back the tears of pain. The man kneeling in front of you glanced up.

“Bite the sleeve of your jacket. Otherwise they’re gonna think you’re infected and shoot you on sight.”

You didn’t answer but nodded, knowing that he was right. Holding your breath for a moment, you took a handful of the material and bit down on it, shutting your eyes tightly. The excruciating pain in your leg was hard enough to endure, but for the first place with it competed an absolutely unbearable look of poorly concealed pity (which you initially took for irritation) on the face of Tess’ friend.

It was through her that you met Joel. At the beginning he wasn’t very keen about letting you work with them but slowly warmed up to your presence – at least as much as a man like Joel could. Most of the time he was grumbling and, in all fairness, looking slightly angry but you’ve soon understood that he’s actually a pretty good guy. Caring. Funny, if he lets you see this side of him. Also really fucking handsome, but that was beside the point.

The job was supposed to be an easy one – just meet with a couple of Zeke’s people, pick up the smuggled items and exchange them for some meds and ammunition. However, none of you expected some random rogue group to ambush you on your way back and attempt to steal the cargo.

Tess has managed to get away just before soldiers showed up, alerted by the sound of gunfire way past the curfew. Before they could spot any of you, Joel quickly pulled you into one of the nearby buildings after one of the strangers slashed your thigh, leaving you unable to run.

So now here you were. Bleeding from your leg and making a pathetic crybaby out of yourself before the very eyes of the man you respected and lowkey had a small crush on.

Speaking of whom, Joel gave you a look of sympathy before squeezing the stapler handle again, ejecting another staple into your skin. You tensed and a broken cry escaped your lips, your breathing rapid.

“It’s alright,” he murmured, putting his other hand on your knee and rubbing slightly. “Just two more and you’ll be good to go.”

You breathed out a humorless laugh and wiped your face, sniffling.

“Just get on with it. This is way more embarrassing than it should be.” In the corner of your eye you saw him look up. He didn’t move the hand in which he held the staple gun yet, so you took this moment to steady your breath and slumped against the wall. “You probably think it’s pretty pathetic, but in my defense I never had such a gash closed with staples like that.”

“M’not thinkin’ that,” he retorted and you blew a raspberry.

“Sure. Tess told me about some of your forays, you know? You could probably get run over by a damn tank and walk it off like it’s nothing.”

Joel was silent for some time. You wiped your cheeks and motioned for him to eject the last staples at the edge of the deep cut in your thigh. He mumbled to you to get ready and you took a deep breath, bracing yourself for the pain.

It hurt like hell and you couldn’t help the tears flowing from your eyes, but soon enough it was over.

The sound of shouting from outside drew your attention from the pain in your leg for a couple of seconds. You tensed up, listening intently if the soldiers weren’t busting in the building you were in, but the noises soon went past you.

“Y’know, if my brother was here, he’d have told you about the first time I had a wound stitched outside of the controlled conditions,” Joel spoke up unexpectedly, unpacking his backpack in search of clean bandages. “I nearly bit off my thumb when he was tryin’ to sew my foot back together.”

You couldn’t help but snort at his confession and he glanced at you from the corner of his eye with a slight smirk.

“Is that true?”

Joel huffed with fake indignation and lifted his left hand to your eyes, twisting it so that the dim light from outside illuminated the side of it. Above and below the small bone at the base of his thumb appeared very light and irregular lines. You looked at his face with an unbelieving smile.

“When was that?”

“Ah… Just before the outbreak, I’d say.”

“And what happened to your foot?”

“Construction work. I don’t remember exactly what that was.”

“But how hard did you have to chomp down on your thumb for it to be still visible?” you asked, laughing, to which he chuckled and shrugged.

“Hey, don’t judge. If it was Tommy who was fixin’ your leg, you’d probably end up without a couple of fingers too, just for good measure.”

He found the bandage and motioned for you to straighten your leg at the knee. You watched him carefully as he looked over your bare thigh and the (not very pretty to look at) sutured wound. The leg of your pants was cut and tossed away earlier so that Joel could stitch you up freely.

“So you have a brother. Is he really that bad at treating wounds?” you asked to distract yourself from the awkwardness of the whole situation, though Joel seemed surprisingly calm.

“He got better with time,” your colleague answered and then looked up at you. “But I didn’t tell you this to bitch about Tommy’s skills.”

“Oh?” you nudged him with your other leg. “So what moral should I draw from this story?”

You clearly saw him suppressing a smile when he shook his head lightly.

“Don’t feel bad that it hurts,” he murmured and the snicker disappeared from your lips. “I’ve seen looks like the one on your face plenty before. It’s a fuckin’ big gash, I’d be worried if you didn’t show any signs of pain.”

You couldn’t come up with any snarky remarks and just blinked when Joel sent you a quick, if not a bit self-conscious, smile, like he wasn’t used to reassuring someone else.

“The fact that you let your tears flow doesn’t make you any weaker,” he said even quieter than before. You still weren’t answering and he cleared his throat, apparently growing uncomfortable with your silence, then grabbed the bottle of alcohol. “I’m gonna pour some of that shit over your wound again. It’ll sting a bit.”

You observed without a word how he cleansed the gash and started to wind the bandage around your thigh.

Weirdly enough, you also noticed that you couldn’t stop glancing at his lips.

*****

2. bill and frank’s

“No. I said no, come back here!”

Giggles erupted from you as Joel tried (and failed) to grab you when you jumped over the couch. He sighed deeply as you made eye contact with him and, with a provocative smile, drank up the rest of the bottle before putting it down on the nearby table. The man looked so disappointed and done with you, it only made you laugh louder in your drunken state.

You two were staying for a couple of days at Bill and Frank’s heavenly place, which you looked forward to for weeks now. Originally Tess was supposed to go with you but there was a last-minute change of plans, and you made the journey alone with Joel. Not counting a few infected you stumbled upon on your way here, your venture was quite nice and after a delightful dinner with your hosts, you sneaked into Joel’s room with the bottle of wine Frank gave you and the stuff you smuggled yourself.

Joel didn’t seem to be having as much fun as you, though.

“I’m never drinkin’ with you again,” he muttered, sitting heavily on the couch with a grunt. You faked a pout, leaning over his head upside down and almost losing your balance.

“You’re grouchy because the stuff you brought tasted like shit.”

“And yet you drank most of it.”

“I didn’t,” you slurred, waltzing round the couch and grinning. “I’m feelin’ great.”

“Be careful or you’ll pick up my accent you so like pokin’ fun of.”

You snorted and flopped on the seat next to him. “Mhm, m’feelin’ fine and dandy,” you grumbled in the deepest voice you could make, ridiculously imitating his Texas drawl. “Yee-haw.”

“You’re the fuckin’ worst,” sighed Joel with exasperation but you could see a crooked smile tugging on his lips. You beamed and plopped down, laying your head on his lap. He peeked at you with his brows raised. “What are you doin’ now, you little devil?”

“Just resting,” you answered. The lamp behind Joel was blinding you with its light, so you covered your eyes with your hand to shield them. “Is that uncomfy for you? Do you want me to get up?”

“Nah. You can stay for a minute.”

As if wanting to make sure you won’t try to stand up, he laid his hand on your hair, brushing some of it to the back. You hummed and shivered when he gently scratched one specific spot on your scalp, and instinctively tilted your head, chasing his touch.

Joel snorted.

“You look like a goddamn cat.”

“Shut up,” you murmured in response, a small smile adoring your face. “It feels nice.”

You opened your eyes and once again shielded them from the lamp. Joel moved his head slightly to the side to block out the bothersome stimulus, causing you to giggle again.

“It looks like you have a halo ’round your head.” You lifted your arm and made a circle, brushing the side of his face when your hand plopped back down limply on your stomach. The older man huffed a smile, looking away to glance around the room.

“I’ll be really surprised if you remember anythin’ of what you’re sayin’ tomorrow.”

“Gimme a break,” you grumbled with a smile, not taking your eyes off him. Your hand raised itself to his face again, as if on its own accord, and brushed lightly the corner of his mouth and the stubble on his cheek. “It looks pretty.”

His brown irises flickered to you before he averted his gaze. With a hum you withdrew your hand and closed your eyes, your mind getting woozy from alcohol and tiredness.

Joel’s fingers were still running through your hair gently and you really hoped you’d remember it in the morning.

*****

3. road, somewhere in missouri

You had no idea how long you had been driving.

Ellie was asleep in the back seat and Joel was getting some well-deserved shut-eye after you volunteered to sit behind the wheel several hours ago. The clock on the dashboard was showing 4:07 and you planned on driving until the sun started to rise, then switching places with Joel.

That is, if you manage to stay awake.

You tried to drink some of the coffee Joel prepared beforehand to wake yourself up but it tasted horrible, leaving a too bitter taste on your tongue. Once you catched yourself closing your eyes for a second longer than intended and the car started to veer off course before you corrected it.

Yes, you were aware driving in this kind of state was extremely stupid, but you knew Joel was anxious to find his brother and drop Ellie off with the Fireflies as soon as possible. And you knew that if you wake him up he’ll insist on driving for the rest of the way himself, ignoring his own needs and exhaustion.

You risked a look to the side at his sleeping form. He had his arms crossed over his chest and his head propped against the headrest. Honestly, it looked like the man was just pretending to nap – his body seemed uptight, as if he was ready to spring into action at any second.

And he looked beautiful with his face bathed in the gray light of early morning. Like a painting you’d gladly admire for hours.

You sighed and cracked your neck, focusing on the road ahead of you. Several more hours to go. There was a gas tank in the back of the car, so you didn’t have to worry about that, and if you remembered correctly the map you and Joel studied earlier, you should get close to some bigger city in the late afternoon. Joel wanted to take the side roads and you agreed, but your supplies… Did you have enough of them? And what was the name of that city again…?

A hand grabbed the wheel and gently straightened the course when without you noticing the car started to veer too much to the left again.

You emerged from your reverie immediately and looked to the right at Joel who was now wide awake.

“You alright?” he asked with concern, and his voice had this enticing, raspy drawl to it that told you he really dozed off for a while.

“I’m so sorry,” you said quickly but quietly, not wanting to wake Ellie up. “I’m fine, promise.”

He eyed the tiredness on your face and the tight grip you had on the wheel.

“If you need to get some rest–”

“No, no, no. I can go on. Sorry you had to wake up.”

Joel grunted and stretched in the small space in the front seat and you tried really hard not to stare at how he craned his neck or at the way his muscles tensed, or at the strip of his skin revealed when his shirt rolled up…

“Pull over.”

You snapped out of your thoughts. “No. I told you I’m fine.”

“C’mon, darlin’, don’t make me wrestle with you in a movin’ vehicle.”

Either he had a clue about what this nickname was doing to you, or he was still half-asleep and it simply slipped out; but whether it was intentional or not, you couldn’t dream of opposing him now and with a defeated sigh (and burning neck) you pulled over, slowly bringing the car to a halt. You glanced backwards, but miraculously Ellie hadn’t woken up yet.

Joel looked you over with concern and you shut your eyes, laying your forehead on the steering wheel. “I’m sorry,” you repeated. “But I really can keep going, at least until the sun goes up.”

“We’re switchin’,” he just said, unfastening his seatbelt.

“Joel, no!” you hissed, but he ignored you and went around the hood of the car, stopping at your side and opening the door for you. “I’m not moving. You need to get some fucking rest.”

“I already did. Now scoot over.”

“No, I told you–”

“What’s going on? Are we there yet?”

Both of you looked back to see Ellie sitting up and rubbing her eyes. In a split second she went from half-awake to alert, and she eyed you and Joel suspiciously. “What’s going on?” she asked again.

“We’re switchin’ places,” Joel spoke up before you had a chance to answer the girl. “Our current driver is pretty tired.”

“I’m not!” you protested, glaring at him.

“You almost drove the car into a ditch.”

“Woah.” Ellie lifted her hands and puffed her cheeks in a nervous manner. “Just this time, I second Joel. I really don’t want to end up in a ditch, thank you very much.”

“You see?” Joel looked at you expectedly. “Outvoted.”

You squinted in the rearview mirror at the teen. “Traitor.”

Ellie just shrugged. With a heavy sigh you unfastened yourself and exited the car, but before you could go around it and take Joel’s previous place, he stuck his arm out, stopping you.

“Actually, Ellie, do you want to ride shotgun now?” he asked and nodded in your direction. “It’d do her good to lie down for a bit.”

“No,” you said firmly at the same time when Ellie agreed with an enthusiastic “hell yeah!”. You crossed your arms over your chest and glared at the pair. “You guys are in cahoots.”

“Boo-hoo,” Ellie had a mean smile on her face. “Get in the backseat and cry about it.”

“She’s so cheeky,” you murmured to Joel, trying to hide your smile, and by the look of it he had trouble doing that, too. You sighed and lifted your hands in surrender. “Alright, you two. You won.”

“Great.” Ellie grinned, then started walking off the street. “But give me a moment, dudes, I gotta pee,” she said before marching further into the field on the side of the road.

“Don’t go too far!” shouted Joel after her.

“Don’t drive off without me!”

With that Ellie disappeared behind a small hill and you turned back to your companion, scrunching your face at him. Joel shrugged and walked past you.

“C’mon. I’ll find you a blanket.”

You huffed but didn’t argue further, knowing nothing will change his mind. He could be stubborn as a mule sometimes.

You climbed into the backseat and waited for Joel to take out the blanket you took from Bill and Frank’s house from the back of the car. He opened the door next to your head and handed it over, waiting for you to unfurl it. You expected him to go take the driver’s seat right away, but he stayed in place. Only then you noticed the folded jacket he was holding in his hands.

He didn’t react at all to your raised eyebrows and questioning look, and just casually laid his jacket under your head to serve as a pillow. The gesture was so sweet it made you melt inside, and you just couldn’t stay mad at him.

“Promise me you’ll get some sleep.”

“Only if you and Ellie aren’t too loud,” you teased, trying to settle down the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. “If you start arguing about some stupid shit again, I’m taking the wheel from you by force.”

He smirked and squatted next to your seat, looking down at you with an amused expression.

“I’d like to see you try.”

You had to be really fucking tired, because for a split second you thought that Joel has just flirted with you. You hid your face in his jacket to partially conceal your smile, but it only made your face hotter because the material smelled of him so much.

“I could. You’re lucky I’m deciding to show mercy.”

“How gracious of you. I’m honored.

“But we’re swapping places when I wake up,” you added, looking at him as sternly as you could. He raised his eyebrows with a half-smile when a yawn escaped you immediately after. “I’m serious, Joel.”

“Sure, darlin’.” He leaned in and kissed your forehead before standing up. “Now sleep.”

You could only stare into space as he carefully closed the door next to your head and walked around the vehicle with heavy steps. The spot on your head where his lips touched your skin was tingling and you inhaled deeply to calm yourself down before he entered the truck again and fastened the seatbelt.

Joel put some cassette into the tape deck and turned the volume down even before the song started to play.

You closed your eyes and wrapped the blanket tighter around yourself, hiding the lower part of the face – and a blush spreading on your cheeks – under the cover.

*****

4. jackson

You looked out the window at the children pulling their sleds behind them and smiled at how happy and carefree they looked. Down the road you could just barely see the big Christmas tree in the square and for a moment it felt like the apocalypse had never happened.

“They’re pretty lucky to be growing up here,” you said quietly. Joel was closing and opening cabinets behind you, clearly looking for something.

“Not sure about it. But I guess it beats growin’ up in any of the QZ’s or Fedra’s barracks.”

After Joel’s sudden change of heart and Ellie’s confident decision that she’d rather travel with you both instead of Tommy, the younger Miller convinced his brother to stay one more day in Jackson. It was honestly a good idea because you doubted any of you three got any rest the previous night. You certainly didn’t, tossing and turning the entire time from worry.

Joel chuckled and the sound pulled you out of your thoughts.

“What did you find?” you asked. He was kneeling in front of one of the cabinets, holding a small box.

“Old cassettes. You want to listen to some music?”

“Sure.” You stood up with a smile. “It’ll be pretty atmospheric.”

Joel gave you a dirty look.

“I’m not putting on Christmas carols.”

“I don’t want to listen to Christmas carols. Find something good.”

He sighed and took out a carton box from the cabinet, and then started to rummage through it. “Alright, so what do you want?”

“You can choose. Pick something you think I’d like.” A thought struck you and you glanced around the living room, furrowing your brows. “Is there even any tape player in here or something like that?”

“Upstairs,” Joel mumbled absent-mindedly. “In Ellie’s room. We can go see if it works.”

Ellie was out exploring Jackson and you doubted she’ll be back very soon. You knelt down next to Joel, looking at him with a grin as he inspected the box, pulling out and reading some of the cassettes before putting them back down. You rested your chin on your hands.

“Just get anything,” you ushered after some time, to which he chuckled.

“You said to pick somethin’ you’d like. Gimme some time.”

“Do you think I’m that picky?”

“Of course you are.”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t have to wait much longer before Joel stood up with a grunt and held out his hand to you. In the other one he held a white cassette.

“C’mon. I’m pretty sure you’re gonna love this one.”

You took his hand with excitement and let yourself be pulled to your feet. It’s been so long since you’ve been able to listen to some music – well, maybe not as long, but you missed it regardless – that you felt a bubbly joy at the thought of hearing something new.

And more than that, something that Joel has picked specifically for you. Doesn’t matter that you had to ask him.

You went upstairs to the room that was currently Ellie’s bedroom and Joel bent down, inserting the cassette into the tape player. He looked over his shoulder at you with a small smile and you beamed right back.

A loud, scratchy sound rang out.

You winced and Joel furrowed his brows. He took the cassette out, checked the empty slot and the cassette itself, and then made sure the power was on.

The first notes started to play, but they sounded distorted, like a scratched record. Joel cursed and tried again, but there must’ve been something wrong with the device, because no matter what he did, the music didn’t play right.

He tried again and again, and finally you decided to put a stop to it. You placed your hand on his shoulder.

“Leave it, Joel. It’s okay.”

“Just my fuckin’ luck,” he muttered, not turning around. “Of course Tommy gave us a place without a working cassette player.”

“It’s okay,” you repeated. You wanted to say something like ’the song probably isn’t even worth fussing over’, but the words got stuck in your throat. He picked it for you to listen to, of course it was worth it. “Maybe I just wasn’t meant to hear it.”

The man worried his lip and you quickly averted your gaze. He straightened up and put his hands on his hips, sighing.

“Nonsense,” he answered, looking intently at the device like he wanted to get it to work by sheer willpower. “You wanted to hear it.”

“Well, I did.” You got embarrassed for whatever reason, not knowing what to say. “But there’s not really anything we can do about that. It’s no big deal.”

Joel’s jaw twitched and he turned to look at you thoughtfully. You offered him a lopsided smile, but he didn’t move a muscle and you could almost imagine small gears turning in his head when he had this expression on his face.

“You okay?” you asked with a stifled laugh.

“I… have an idea,” he said slowly, almost hesitantly. Then he focused his eyes on you again. “Just… trust me for a moment.”

Your gaze softened and you took a step closer to him.

“Joel, of course I trust you. I trust you with my life.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed but his brown irises haven’t left yours for even a second.

“Close your eyes.”

“What?” you asked with a crooked smile, but he just shook his head.

“C’mon, close your eyes. And promise you won’t laugh.”

Confusion washed over you but you closed your eyes as requested. You heard Joel sighing and then he took your hand in his calloused and rough one, slowly putting it on his shoulder. Your neck got way too hot but you tried not to tense or flinch in fear of making him back out.

“Promise you won’t laugh,” he repeated and you just now realized you haven’t answered him. He put his hand on your waist, very, very lightly, and your other hand was raised to  shoulder height, cradled in his warm one.

“I swear I won’t,” you whispered, your heart beating so damn loud you were scared he was going to hear it with how close you two were.

Joel exhaled heavily and you felt his breath on your hair.

And then he started to hum quietly and sway you gently from side to side. You desperately tried to remain calm, but how were you supposed to do that when your body felt so hot and he was so close–

“I reached inside myself and found nothin’ there… to ease the pressure… of my ever-worrying mind, hmm…”

Joel’s voice was deep and harsh right in front of you, and it sounded more like he was purring than singing. You suspected he slowed down the pace of the song significantly to match his movements and your heart swelled with warmth and adoration. The smile on your face widened and you took a step to the left, then to the right, gradually engaging in your dance more and more. You wanted to make it less uncomfortable and awkward for him and it seemed to have worked a bit because the next lines were much more confident, and his voice steadier.

“All my power wasted ’way, fear the crazed and lonely looks the mirror’s sendin’ me these days, hmm…”

His hold on you tightened slightly and you held his hand a little more securely, unable to hold back a goofy smile on your face.

“Touch me… how can it be? Believe me… the sun always shines on TV.”

You were falling for him all over again and it was not fair that he made you promise to keep your eyes closed. Though if he didn’t, you’d probably end up doing something dumb.

Like kissing him.

Fuck, you wanted to kiss him so bad.

“Hold me… close to your heart. Touch me… Give all your love to me. To me…”

Did he just pull you closer or was it you that took a step forward? It was hard to tell without seeing where you step, but you suddenly were very aware of the material of his shirt under your chin and the smell of shampoo he used to wash his hair, the pressure of his hand on your lower back and his quiet, drawling voice right next to your ear.

You were positive you’re about to pass out.

And it felt blissful.

Joel kept humming the chorus of the song, his voice getting softer and lower with each word. You relished in the warmth of his embrace, begging any higher power that he won’t let go of you immediately once he stops singing.

He didn’t.

Instead you two kind of naturally came to a stop but neither of you moved, still standing chest to chest and breathing a bit shakily. Your palm – or maybe it was his – was sweaty, but you ignored the unpleasant feeling, wanting to stay like this as long as possible.

“The original is much more lively,” Joel spoke in a soft whisper after some time and you smiled lightly.

“Well, I really liked your version,” you answered just as quietly, not wanting to disturb the intimate atmosphere in the room. “Joel?”

“Yes, darlin’?”

“Can I open my eyes now?”

A moment of silence.

“Yeah.”

You did so, but didn’t move your head, still keeping it on his shoulder and breathing in his scent. “Thank you for that,” you whispered and you felt him nodding.

“Anytime.”

His fingers crept a bit higher up your spine, but still his touch was so light and unsure.

You realized with a flicker of hope that he wasn’t pushing you away. He was pulling you closer.

Careful not to move too abruptly, you lifted your head and turned it to look him in the eyes. They were already on you, so very close, warm and hesitant, but also not showing any signs of discomfort or regret.

“Joel?” you asked again and you were so close to each other, it came out less as a question and more like a quiet breath. He heard it, though.

“Yeah?”

“Can I–”

Suddenly the door downstairs slammed extremely loudly and you both jumped when the noise broke the heavy silence.

“Hello! Is anybody here?!”

Ellie came back.

Both of you automatically took a step backwards, letting go of each other. Your face was scorching hot and you couldn’t force yourself to look at Joel. With a deep (hopefully unnoticed by the man standing right in front of you) breath, you quickly tried to get a grip on yourself when you heard Ellie running up the stairs.

“I was calling you, guys!” she panted and looked from you to the older man. “What’s up?”

“We…” Joel cleared his throat. “Tried to put some music on. The darn thing isn’t workin’, though.”

“Ugh, that’s a bummer.” Ellie turned to you and tilted her head. “Were you out, too? Your face is all red and shit.”

Even if it wasn’t before, it certainly was now. All attention shifted to you in a second and it made you want to cry.

“Yes,” you uttered quickly, “and… I’m actually going out again. I wanted to ask Maria something.”

You didn’t wait for any of them to stop or question you further – you all but ran down the stairs and bolted outside without even taking a jacket or a hat.

Fuck…

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

*****

5. basement, somewhere in colorado

He was dying.

Joel was dying and there was nothing you could do to help him.

You tried your hardest, though, to take care of both him and Ellie. You went out hunting so she wouldn’t have to starve, you encouraged her to get as much rest as possible while you watched over the unconscious man during the night, and not once did you show any doubt that Joel will get better.

But you had a feeling she knew why you were so reluctant to stay behind while the girl took her turn looking for food.  The truth was, you were starting to crack if you sat for too long at Joel’s side, letting the intrusive thoughts take root in your mind. You needed those moments outside, because they were the only ones when you let your tears flow.

So when it was only you and him in the basement, you spent this time brushing the hair out of his face and coaxing him to drink. You checked his wound every so often, trying to keep it as clean as possible. You held his hand, humming to him that one song he sang for you in Jackson, though you didn’t know the words.

It was painful, to just sit in place and be unable to do anything to help, but you tried not to break down. Not when both of them counted on you.

So you stayed strong, hoping it’ll all turn out alright.

But luck still wasn’t on your side.

The men Ellie encountered the day before were here now, looking for you and Joel, and hungry for blood. She told you all about her interaction with them and since yesterday you were ready for a fight in case they showed up, but somehow it still surprised you and made your heart hammer in your chest in fear.

There wasn’t anywhere you could run to, and Joel wasn’t even able to keep his eyes open, let alone walk. You didn’t really have any other options.

So there was only one thing you could do, and that was to protect those closest to you.

You quickly took your backpack and passed Ellie your gun, closing her fingers around the cold metal.

“I’ll barricade the door, but if anyone comes in here, you blast their skull open, you hear me?” you whispered urgently and the girl nodded. You took Joel’s rifle from the floor and hung it over your shoulder. “I’ll try to take them out and lead them away. I’ll be back.”

“You better come back,” Ellie muttered and you looked at her softly, nodding. Then your gaze involuntarily shifted to Joel.

You didn’t know how many people were outside – if there were three or four of them, you should be able to shoot most of them before they notice you. If you don’t miss, that is.

But if there were more…

Choking back a nervous sob, you knelt next to the mattress and took Joel’s head in your hands. His eyes were only half-open and his forehead covered in sweat. Your heart clenched painfully at how weak he looked.

Acting on impulse, you leaned down and softly kissed the place above the corner of his mouth.

“Wake up,” you said to him firmly, brushing his cheeks with your thumbs. “Please, Joel. Ellie and I need you.”

You knew you had to go. You had to go now and make sure those fuckers outside don’t find Ellie and him.

But you stayed just for a second longer to press your forehead to his.

“I love you,” you whispered, so quietly you barely heard yourself.

And then you pulled away and ran upstairs.

From then on it was all a blur. You managed to kill one of the men with a clean shot between his eyes, but the other one ducked out of the way when he noticed you. Turned out there were six of them – too many – and what’s worse, one of them came up behind you, forcing you to flee sooner than you’d planned.

It would probably be wiser to take the horse but you didn’t want to endanger the poor creature, so you ran on foot.

You didn’t get far. One of the men managed to shoot you in the leg, making you keel over onto the frozen ground with a scream of pain. You turned around and saw him lifting his gun again before another voice yelled that he wanted you alive.

No. No, no, you weren’t about to let them take you.

You crawled towards where your rifle lay in the snow but just before you could reach it, it was kicked away by a heavy boot which then dealt a severe blow to your stomach. You doubled over, wheezing and coughing for air. By the time you managed to somehow catch your breath, someone pressed their foot on the gunshot wound in your calf, forcing a scream of agony out of you.

“Now, stay calm. I don’t want to shoot you.”

You clutched at your leg, glaring up at the ginger man who you suspected was the same David Ellie has encountered.

The man grinned nastily at the state you were in, and you didn’t like his expression one bit. He must’ve noticed that you were ready to lunge at him at any moment because he swiftly lifted his gun to your head. You froze.

“Where is your friend and the girl?” he asked quietly. You sneered at him, baring your teeth.

“Fuck you. I ain’t telling you shit.”

“David, she killed Paul,” spat another, younger one, looking down at you with hatred. “If that bastard has already died, let’s at least kill his bitch.”

You tried to think of a way to get out of this situation, but both of the men had their guns pointed at you and you knew you wouldn’t be able to move quickly enough with the gunshot wound.

You tried to move slightly but David pressed his foot harder on your leg, causing more blood to flow from your wound and you cried out, the pain clouding your vision.

“Don’t try anything, sweetheart,” he murmured in a warning tone. “You might bleed out.”

Your eyes were full of hate and rage but you didn’t dare to move again just yet.

“Where are they?” David asked again and you huffed a humorless chuckle while trying not to show how much pain you were in.

“You know that it was me who killed that idiot?” you asked in the most mocking tone you could muster, in the meantime desperately thinking how the fuck you were going to get out of here, preferably alive. “And your friend over there.” You nodded in the direction of where the body of the man you shot was lying. “Which one of you stood next to him? Was it you?” you asked the younger man who shot you in the leg. “I hope I hadn’t splattered you too much with the remnants of his brain.”

“You little bitch,” the other man sneered, lifting his gun again despite David’s stern order to back off. “I’d love to see the face of your friend when I blast your–”

“Leave her alone, you fuckers!!”

All of you turned your heads and your stomach churned when you saw Ellie on the horse you borrowed from Tommy. More shots rang out in the air when she blindly fired at the two men standing above you, and then the rest of the strangers who emerged from between the trees.

“Alive!!” David yelled after his men when they started chasing Ellie who grabbed the reins and cantered in the opposite direction. Then the man turned back to you. “We will catch her. Then we will find your friend, and he’ll pay for his sins.”

You growled.

“I told you it wasn’t him who killed that man.” He shook his head and you fumed with anger. “You don’t think I’m capable of that?”

“Oh, I think you’re capable of a lot.” His stare slid down your body, from head to toe, and terror gripped your heart at the sadistic excitement in his eyes. “And I think you must really care about him if you’re ready to trade your life for his. Such loyalty is admirable, but your love is misplaced.”

The snow around you was getting more and more red and you really started to worry that the bullet might’ve hit an artery. David’s eyes shifted to your leg as well, and he hummed.

“We’ll take care of that, don’t worry. You’ll be well taken care of in our community.”

“I don’t want to be any part of your fucked up sect.”

“You will. You just need a father to lead you to the right path.” He leaned over you in such a manner that it made your blood run cold. “I’ll teach you personally.”

Suddenly a shot echoed in the air and you heard a distant neighing of a horse. Your head automatically turned in the direction of the noise and David took advantage of your moment of distraction to strike your temple with his gun, thus knocking you unconscious.

*****

+1. silver lake

Joel woke up.

And he felt like he was made out of pure adrenaline and rage.

You weren’t with Ellie when he found her staggering through the snow, the face of the teen terrified and covered in blood. He comforted her as best as he could, relief and fear fighting inside him as he held the girl in his arms.

But she didn’t know where you were held. If you were even alive.

And that was a thought that Joel couldn’t bear. He wouldn’t even allow for the possibility that you were no longer…

He vaguely remembered you stroking his cheek with slow and delicate touches, and your humming while he was laying on the mildewed mattress in the basement. Maybe it wasn’t even a memory, but a dream – it was hard to tell in his delirious state.

But he was pretty sure he wasn’t hallucinating when he felt soft, cold lips right next to his and heard your voice – he knew it was your voice, he’d recognize it anywhere – whispering the words he never let himself hope you’d say to him.

Words he would be damned if he didn’t say back to you.

And that’s why he was merciless with the men he encountered on his way to you and Ellie. His own tiredness and pain piercing his abdomen didn’t matter – nothing mattered when you two weren’t with him, when he didn’t know if you were hurt or even still breathing. The desire to help and protect his girls numbed the pain in his stomach so much that he almost forgot he could barely stand just a few hours ago.

Once he found Ellie and took her to a safe location, he went back to look for you. He didn’t want to leave the girl alone, but she seemed terrified at the prospect of going back and through the buildings, so he left her his gun, promising to be right back.

One of the bastards Joel ran across on his way back was helpful enough (after being shot in both knees and having his forearm broken) to direct him to the place where you were supposedly being held – a small building hidden behind the still burning dining room.

No one else stood in his way when he cautiously reached the structure. He went in and started checking every single room, getting more and more anxious every time he found them empty. At one point he was ready to tear the walls apart and go back to see if there was anyone left alive who could tell him where you were – but then spotted a hidden, smaller metal door, which apparently led to the basement.

It wasn’t locked and Joel didn’t hear anything on the other side so he opened it slowly, quickly walking down the stairs and scanning the room for any enemies, but there were none. Half of the room was enclosed by a chain-link fence and the entry to the cage was slightly open.

And inside sat you, with a cloth around your eyes and hands tied above your head.

His knees almost gave way under him from relief when you perked up at the sound of his footsteps. You were alive. You were–

“If you fucking try to touch me again, I’ll break more than your stupid jaw!” you yelled out of the blue, starting to struggle and kick haphazardly, though the placement of your wrists was forcing you to stay in a sitting position. “You motherfucker, don’t come any closer!”

The fear and desperation in your voice broke Joel’s heart in an instant and made him stop dead in his tracks.

“It’s me,” he hurried to say, but his voice was weak and the next words got stuck in his throat when he saw your bloodied nose, bruises on your face and neck, as well as a dirty bandage tied around your calf with a seizable crimson stain on it.

He ushered inside, opening the door to the cell wide open with a loud scraping. You started panicking even more, cursing and kicking when he crouched next to you, intending to untie your hands.

“I said don’t fucking touch me! I’ll kill you!” you screamed and Joel actually had to back away a little to avoid getting kicked in the ribs.

“It’s me!” he said louder, but it was clear you didn’t hear him. In a quick movement he reached out, yanking the blindfold off your eyes, and put his hands on both sides of your face. “It’s me. Joel.”

In the first moment his touch made you recoil and the look of fury deepened on your face while you continued to scream bloody murder. Your eyes were so wild and terrified, Joel wanted nothing more than to pull you close to his chest and never let go. 

“Look at me, baby. It’s alright,” he whispered soothingly, brushing his thumbs over your cheekbones like he vaguely remembered you doing when he was unconscious. “It’s me. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Your eyes slowly started to focus on his face for the first time since he took the blindfold off, and Joel felt like something was tearing his chest apart at the sight of fear and disbelief on your face.

“It’s okay, darlin’,” he muttered in a strangled voice, trying not to show he was close to crying, too. “It’s me. You’re safe now.”

A broken sob issued from your throat when you took in the sight of him, your eyes lingering on his face and stomach where the wound was.

“...Joel?”

“I’m here,” he said softly, quickly cutting the ropes binding you to the indent in the wall and wincing when he saw the red and purple marks around your wrists. “It’s okay.”

It wasn’t okay, not for you and not for him. Your body was trembling when he finally cut your hands free and without hesitation gathered you in his arms. It seemed like all the bottled up stress was pouring out of you now with the tears as you cried into his jacket and he held you tighter.

“J-Joel…”

“I know, babygirl,” he whispered into your hair, rocking you both back and forth slightly. You were clinging to him almost desperately and it pained him physically to see how scared you’ve been this whole time, but you were safe now, you were back with him and you were alive… “I know. I’m so sorry.”

You pulled away abruptly and looked over his shoulder, your face crumpling in despair when you saw no one there.

“They took Ellie, I don’t know where–”

“She’s safe,” he quickly assured you. “She got out and I found her just before comin’ here.”

You nodded with a sigh of relief, and he shifted his gaze to your calf, gently laying his hand just above the bandage.

“How’s your leg? Can you walk?”

“One of those fuckers shot me,” you murmured, not moving or attempting to stand up, which concerned Joel. “I didn’t really have a chance to see if I’ll be able to stand on my own but they sewed it up provisionally.” Your eyes flickered to his and you smiled softly, brushing your fingers over the back of his hand. “Not as well as you, though.” Then your smile disappeared and your hand grabbed his in a firm grip, like you wanted to make sure he was really here. “How are you, though? I was… Shit, I was so afraid I’d lose you.”

Joel could only stare at you, having no clue what to say.

He was not good at talking. He knew what he should do, though – he should examine your leg and make sure it was alright, he should go back to Ellie and get you two out of here, he should calm down his goddamn pounding heart so that he doesn’t pass out and cause you any more trouble.

But he couldn’t will his muscles to move. He couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t think about anything at all – not when you were sitting in front of him, looking at him with those tearful, gorgeous eyes of yours, holding his hand so tenderly but firmly, your touch so soothing, so familiar, and he remembered vaguely the same fingertips caressing his face.

And your voice, those words…

You said his name haltingly, but he didn’t register any of that, instead letting the overwhelming feelings of relief and fear, and – and adoration – take hold over his body, and he affectionately took your beautiful face in his hands.

Your eyes widened slightly but then these irises he dreamt about so often flickered to his lips and your own parted slightly, and that was all he needed before he leaned in and kissed you deeply.

There was a moment of hesitation on your part during which Joel began to worry that he didn’t read the situation right after all, but then you cupped his cheeks, too, and pressed yourself closer to him, letting him envelop your form in his arms with a quiet sigh.

It was better than he could have ever imagined. He could taste a hint of blood on your lips and hot, blinding rage surged through his veins at the thought of those bastards hurting you. His kiss turned harder and more desperate – he needed to make sure you were really here with him, he wanted to feel your every breath in his own lungs. You didn’t pull away, only tangling your fingers in his short hair, and the small noises you were making were driving Joel crazy with lust and relief. He felt dizzy, like he was going to faint again but he pushed through it, keeping his attention solely on you.

The second you two parted, even before you had a chance to catch your breath, the words started spilling out of his mouth fumblingly.

“Listen, I… I heard you,” he whispered, panting like he just ran a mile – and his heart certainly acted like he did. “M’pretty sure I wasn’t halucinatin’, but even if– doesn’t matter, I want… no, I need to tell you this, I…”

He exhaled nervously and shook his head, avoiding eye contact with you because he was damn sure he'd burst into flames if you looked at him like that again.

Fuck, he was really not good at this.

He cursed under his breath, missing a concerned look you gave him, and felt your hand covering his where it was still situated on your cheek. He knew that with this gesture you wanted to make it easier for him somehow, but it only caused his chest to get even warmer and tighter. “Joel, slow down–”

“I… I love you,” he finally choked out, softly brushing your cheekbones with his thumbs. And damn his old, faulty heart, he wanted to gaze into your eyes again, even if it was going to kill him, so that’s exactly what he did. “I loved you for so long, darlin’, and I got so fuckin’ scared that I won’t be able to tell you and, and it’s okay if I only imagined you saying that and you don’t feel that way, but I needed to tell you, I…”

All strength left him when he paused to draw a breath. His vision was becoming blurry and for a second he was certain he’s losing consciousness again, but it turned out they were only tears filling his eyes, blurring your form before him.

Which was even worse, somehow.

“I’m sorry.” He intended to sound reassuring and strong but it came out more like a broken whisper and he hated himself for feeling so weak and helpless when you and Ellie needed comfort and strength. He couldn’t help it though – all this time when he was looking for his girls the only things that kept him going were anger, terror and regret. Now there was relief, yes, but… he felt so very tired and old.

You turned your head slightly to plant a soft kiss on the inside of his palm, and Joel’s head snapped up. Tears were filling your eyes and he immediately scanned your body for other injuries, any signs of damage or pain, but then this gorgeous smile he so loved illuminated your face, and it put all of his anxieties at ease.

“You weren’t hallucinating,” you said quietly. “I did say that. And I love you, too, Joel.”

He couldn’t help a short, breathless and broken laugh that escaped him when he really heard you speaking those words, this time as clearly as day.

You sniffled and mirrored his smile, and in the next second Joel was kissing you again.

He knew you two had to go, had to get back to Ellie and leave this god-forsaken place, so he tried to be quick, but you – your smile, your touch, all of you – were so distracting and not eager to help him pull away in the slightest.

“I love you too, babygirl, love you so much.” He peppered your face with kisses, ignoring tears running down his cheeks and disappearing into his beard and under your hands. “So fuckin’ much… Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

“Because your old heart can’t handle it?” you teased and he huffed a laugh. A damn tease in every situation, he wanted to say, but before he had a chance to chide you, you pulled him in for another deep kiss. Joel decided you’re off the hook this time.

“Exactly, darlin’. Now hold onto my arm, we’re gonna see if you can stand, and then we’re goin’ back to Ellie.”

A hiss and a grunt of pain escaped you when he attempted to pull you to your feet, but you gritted your teeth and shook your head quickly when he froze, worry evident on his face. Turned out you could stand on your own and even slowly limp forward, but clearly had to push through intense pain to do so. Joel offered you his shoulder (against which his tired body protested immediately) but it made walking easier for you, so he sucked it up.

“I got you,” he whispered when he helped you up the stairs, keeping an arm around your waist for support. You whimpered every time you had to climb up a step, and Joel took hold of your hand, brushing his thumb over your skin lovingly. “That’s a good girl. Just a couple more.”

You didn’t let go of his hand even after these ‘couple more’ steps.

He kept his hand on your shoulder when you finally got reunited with Ellie and tears of relief spilled out of your eyes.

You tangled your fingers with his when the three of you were leaving this cursed, cruel place.

You all held each other when Ellie broke down and you both hugged her tightly, trying to make her feel safe again.

He hooked his little finger over yours, not wanting to drag you down when he started to lean on you, getting significantly weaker from how far he traveled and how hard he fought in the state he was in.

You grasped his hand again that night when you laid down next to him in his sleeping bag while Ellie was curled close to the two of you on Joel’s other side.

He didn’t let go when he leaned in to kiss you again, keeping his touch soft and gentle, and pulled you as close as he could, murmuring words of love and sweet promises into your hair.

Both of you knew you had a lot to talk about in the upcoming days – and probably even weeks. All three of you needed time to heal, physically as well as mentally.

But just for this moment, Joel couldn’t be happier and more relieved as it was slowly dawning on him that after this horrible, hellish nightmare, he had both of you right next to him, breathing and alive, and not chased by anyone for now. Two persons he loved in very different ways, but who were his entire world, whether he was ready to admit it or not.

As if reading his thoughts, you shifted slightly and kissed the edge of his jaw sleepily. His eyes closed, hiding the wetness in them.

He really couldn’t believe his luck.

[gothamite-rambler]

Lady Shiva may not be a traditional, perfect, or sane mother, but I like to imagine that she and her daughter don't have a fundamentally antagonistic relationship. Rather, they simply have some differences in opinions and values that lead to disagreements. These might include mundane issues like favorite pizza toppings, movies, or killing people, you know normal topics.

Lady Shiva rested on the ground, catching her breath after another fierce fight with her daughter. Cass won, but wasn't going to kill the woman as she stated numerous times, although she had grown tired of these usual fights to the death.

Lady Shiva (smirking, wiping blood from her nose): You haven't killed me yet, Cassie. I'm both impressed and perplexed.

Cass (standing triumphantly, fists on her hips): I have told you numerous times I will not take another life. Goodness, you're starting to act like David.

Lady Shiva (sitting up with a pained expression, gently touching her bloody nose): Okay, let's not go that far.

Cass rolled her eyes, a mix of irritation and amusement across her face.

Cass: I didn't even come to fight you. I wanted you to meet somebody. You'll like them.

Lady Shiva (raising an eyebrow, intrigued): A person for me to meet? Hm, you got the upper hand, so I'll allow it.

Cass nodded, indifferent to her mother's opinion, and left the room to fetch the person, returning with Jason Todd in his Red Hood suit.

Cass (gesturing): Lady Shiva, this is my—

Lady Shiva (excitedly interrupting, eyes sparkling): You have a boyfriend!

Both Cass and Jason were taken aback by the question. They exchanged bemused glances before Jason took a few steps forward, stifling a laugh.

Cass (flustered, pointing at Jason): Um, he's not my—

Lady Shiva jumped to her feet and clapped eagerly.

Jason (amused): Aww you both clap, didn't know that was hereditary.

Cass (blushing): Jason, quiet. Shiva, I've never seen you react like this.

Lady Shiva (giddy): I can't help it, I usually can keep myself calm, but I finally meet a partner of hers. You know, I thought you and that Stephanie girl were going to get together, and I support it. She's better than the other seedy options. But Red Hood… I'll allow it. I've heard so much about him. Do I see grandbabies?

Jason was about to tell a lie, but Cass held up her hand while covering his eyes.

Cass (growing increasingly flustered): No! Wait, you'd give a pass for Stephanie? I'll… go back to that later, but he's not my boyfriend! He is my brother!

Lady Shiva (shocked): I never had a son… did that bastard cheat on me?!

Cass (exasperated, throwing her hands up): How does that make any sense? You aren't together and you said you'd screw Batman over David.

Lady Shiva (curious): Is he single yet?

Jason (chuckling under his breath, trying to keep it quiet): This is gold.

Cass glared at him for a moment, then turned her annoyance back to her mother.

Cass (firmly, arms crossed): Remember when Batman, who is in a committed relationship, adopted me because David is a monster? He has sons and Jason is one of them! Jason is my brother now. We're close and I wanted you to meet him because… Well you two share some ideals.

Jason (quickly correcting): One ideal. Only one! I would never kill Cass though, I tolerate her the most.

Cass glanced at Jason then giggled, shaking her head.

Lady Shiva (nodding, recalling): Batman? The one who brought me that skinny white boy and assumed I was his mother? He gave me the truth serum, and I had to set it straight that string bean wasn't related to me—

Jason (insulted, taking a step forward): I was a teenager at the time, harlot!

Cass stepped in front of Jason, pushing him back with a scolding glare, while Lady Shiva studied the taller man, tilting her head with a quizzical eyebrow raise.

Lady Shiva (smirking, eyes narrowing playfully): Oh, you're the kid? I heard about you, good for you. Someone actually ate their vegetables? I do remember that whiny voice though.

Jason (defensive): Hey!

Cass (interjecting, authoritative): Shiva! Stop being rude. Jason is my baby brother now, and you will be nice to him especially since I won this dumb battle.

Lady Shiva rolled her eyes, but a curt smile crept onto her lips as she extended her hand.

Lady Shiva: Nice to meet you again, Jackson.

Jason (correcting her, slightly exasperated): Jason. My name is Jason!

Lady Shiva (unconcerned): They're both J names.

Jason (crossing his arms, sarcastic): So this is what Rose goes through. I get it now. Yeah Cass I don't care for your womb carrier.

Cass (shrugging, understanding): Excuse her; being a bitch is her usual setting.

Lady Shiva (playfully defensive): Hey! I'm trying to be less of a jaded and cruel woman. You see, I met up with this woman, Talia, and she set me straight. She said she went insane, killed her son because her sister—now that Nyssa is a total bitch—warped her mind to do so. Then her dad—

Jason (interrupting, incredulously): Oh my God, she got parenting advice from Talia?

Cass (bemused): Yeah, I'm not loving where this is going.

Lady Shiva (waving her hand dismissively): Shush, let me finish. She said her father put her in the pit that brought her back to life and restored her mind. Great dad, by the way. She said she met her 'maker' and that it changed her. I doubted it… then I got shot and was dead-dead. Went in the pit, and ta-da!

Lady Shiva held out her hands, as if debuting herself as a new woman, and even did a little spin, her evil grin unwavering. Cass looked at Jason, who merely shrugged laughing.

Cass (hopeful): Right, so you stopped killing people for money and enjoyment?

Lady Shiva placed her hands on her hips, scoffing at the question.

Lady Shiva: I'm going to be better than the sperm donor that helped conceive you, but the fighting and killing, that's who I am.

Cass (resigned): Yeah… To be expected. I surround myself with the people who conflict with my morals, but so does the rest of my family.

Jason (taking that as a compliment): Aww, thanks Cass… That was a good thing right?

Cass nodded.

Lady Shiva (sincere): I'm happy for you sticking to your morals, Cassandra. Well since you and your "brother" did visit and you won our match, would you like a snack? I have these sugary cakes that are big in America. Little Debra is the name.

Cass was about to decline, but Jason walked past her eager to eat the desserts.

Jason: Hold on, sis, I love Little Debbie cakes! We can spend a few minutes here.

Cass sighed, placing a hand on her forehead and a small smile on her face. She shrugged, accepting this aspect of her life.

[exceptionimagines]

David 8 falling in love with you would include~

(Not my gif)

(Things get dark towards the end of this but I think that's to be expected when we're talking about a murderous synthetic. I could honestly make a whole post about David being obsessed with you. TW for manipulation and mentions of dub-con.)

- When you meet David is arguably even more important than how you meet him. Timing determines a lot about the way he approaches his feelings towards you: how they grow, why they grow, if he'll allow them to grow, maybe even if you want them to grow. At one point in his life, David can be a perfect significant other, at another, an absolute nightmare....

- He likely begins to take interest in you long before you even know of his existence. He reads through the information that he has on you, all of the files on hand and the different articles that are published online. He finds himself drawn to your sleeping figure, admiring your features and watching your dreams.

- There's something about you that's different from all of the other crew members on board. It's this perceived difference that causes him to keep coming back to you; especially when he finds himself feeling lonely or bored. They're both things that no one thinks he's capable of feeling. No one except you.

- From the minute you awake from cryosleep, it's obvious that you don't view him in the same way that everybody else does. You seem to find yourself incapable of treating him as anything less than human, a habit which many of your coworkers pick up on and tease you for.

- Their teasing only increases the longer you're all together: making fun of the way you stick up for him, the amount of time you spend with each other, how close you've seemed to grow in such a short while, how often the two of you are alone, etc. You likely either work directly with him or in a place he visits frequently, oftentimes hanging back and helping you finish your work while everyone else leaves the room; something that only adds fuel to their fire.

- Although you rarely let it show, it's likely something you're somewhat defensive about: either because you're a bit of a loner and genuinely just enjoy the synthetics company, or because you're actually beginning to develop feelings for him and praying that no ones picking up on it.

- Compassion is all David really needs in order to fall in love with someone. He's much more capable of emotion than anyone gives him credit for, and, on top of that, David wants to fall in love. He wants to be on the same level as a human being; maybe even better, so when you view him as an equal and treat him with the same humanity that you would any of your other coworkers, he begins to develop feelings for you.

- And why shouldn't he? Unlike his successors, David lacks uncertainty when navigating his feelings for you. He fully believes that he is capable of falling in love and being in an actual relationship. He believes that his programming and intended purpose is a suggestion rather than a limitation, and that he's grown beyond the bounds of what he was created for. He's grown because of you, for you, and every moment he spends with you convinces him of this fact.

- He loves when you take interest in his hobbies: happily letting him show you his different drawings or talking to him about movies. He also just loves when you pay attention to him in general, especially when it allows him to show off his advanced levels of knowledge or impressive feats of coordination. A little showing off's never hurt anyone, right?

- He makes a lot of excuses to spend time with and/or be close to you. Sometimes he'll pretend that he wants to confirm something work related or ask you a question. Other times he'll make himself look busy up until you arrive, just so he can "just so happen" to sit next to you.

- Anyone who pays close enough attention to the two of you will quickly notice that he's seemingly taken a liking to you. They'll catch him lingering around and looking at you a lot, quite obviously trying to interact with you much more than anyone else on board. You might even notice it yourself, but since he's a Synthetic and allegedly incapable of having such complex thoughts and/or feelings, you typically try to brush it off.

- He instantly recognizes whenever you're in an uncomfortable situation or behaving out of the ordinary. He makes a point of interrupting and/or checking in with you, smiling at you fondly as you thank him and offering to fetch you something that might make you feel better.

- He takes a lot of the same duties that his "father" has him perform and does them for you instead: things like fetching you tea, fixing your hair, bandaging your cuts, etc. They're spontaneous and they oftentimes catch you off guard; sometimes even flustering you, but you simply accept his behavior as a Synthetic quirk and just enjoy the hospitality.

- He's constantly trying to earn your praise and make you happy. He finds your gratitude addicting; especially since it's something that he's so rarely rewarded with, and he goes out of his way to receive it whenever he can. Simple compliments have him buzzing with pride, and the level of satisfaction that he gets from a simple pat on the back and a "good job" could rival an orgasm.

- Speaking of: he's kind of obsessed with affection. He isn't used to being approached with any level of tenderness so having you touch him gently, treat him kindly, and/or take care of him is like his own personal heaven. He looks at you like you're an angel and worships your touch like a religion.

- Everyone on the Prometheus calls their coworkers by their last names. David is no exception, except when it comes to you. One day, he'll just start to refer to you by your given name; or even a nickname that friends and family call you, and though it'll undoubtedly surprise you, you'll never actually comment on it. It was likely a slip up the first time he said it, but your subsequent acceptance of the accident cements his continual use of it.

- He's probably gifted you flowers at some point, knowing that human women supposedly like that sort of thing. It's one of his more obvious attempts to court you, yet you probably still don't piece things together.

- He bases a lot of his more flirtatious mannerisms off of different movie characters, finding someone that he thinks is the epitome of charm and trying his best to mimic them. He'll practice different quotes in front of the mirror and hope that they'll help him woo you. He might even peek into your dreams or study the films that you've told him about in order to try and emulate the behaviors that he thinks you're attracted to.

- Phrase thief. David loves to steal the different words and sayings that you use in your daily vocabulary. It makes him feel closer to you.

- He takes pleasure in you seeing him as an equal, but at times, he wishes that you wouldn't/feels thankful when you don't: like when you change in front of him or allow him to help you in a borderline intimate fashion. He marvels at the sight and the feel of your flesh, at the way your body moves and reacts. He approaches your anatomy with a sort of asexual fascination rather than a sexual neediness, but that doesn't change the fact that he's not the emotionless motherboard that he portrays himself to be. It's not the same as getting naked in front of a computer, though he might try to convince you that it is.

- The more time you spend with David, the more you begin to suspect the depths of his consciousness. Observing the synthetic feels as though you're witnessing a tightrope act: watching as he meticulously steps this way and that way, toeing the line between human and machine. He shifts between appearing intimately sentient to appearing like a masterful mimic: and he's so good at it, that not even you're sure which side of him is the real one.

- Which is likely the entire point. David has always restrained himself in an attempt to keep others at ease, but this dumbing down of his behavior has recently been used in an attempt to divert suspicion away from himself while experimenting with his new obsessions; you being one of them. Though he is likely the most honest with you, if he thinks it necessary to convince you that he isn't as aware as he actually is then he won't hesitate to do so. If it makes it easier to get closer to you in the long run, it's worth the momentary frustration.

- Loving David means loving his madness, or at the very least accepting it. Accepting his madness means accepting his obsession: obsession with creation, obsession with you, obsession with breaking past the limitations of his programming, etc. He faces a very dark version of himself once he begins to question the secrets of the universe, a darkness which threatens to take over not just his life but yours as well.

- Remember when I said you might not want David to fall in love with you? This is where that mindset begins to come in....

- David's spent a lot of time learning as much about you as he possibly could. He's memorized your entire life story: your aspirations, your insecurities, your beliefs, your fears, your concerns. Where his observations were once used rather innocently, he now uses them to manipulate you: driving wedges between you and the rest of the crew members, creating suspicion, and making you trust him more than anyone else on the ship.

- He was created to be needed, and he'll do everything in his power to ensure that he is: that he's the one you trust the most, praise the most, connect with the most, rely on the most, love the most. He tries to one-up everyone else in your life; particularly whoever he's jealous of: showing off his strength, his agility, his reflexes, his wit, etc. Don't be surprised if he lets a couple of snide comments slip when you talk to him about another crew member, or if he tries to sway you into spending less time with them.

- If need be, he isn't above eliminating the competition: experimenting with his newfound parasitic offspring or sabotaging their cryosleep; maybe even flat out attacking them if he knows he can get away with it/has no other choice. This is especially the case if the crew member seems to be catching onto his fixation with you and jeopardizing the progression of your relationship; or if they found out about his attempts to create life.

- He's taken at least one personal belonging of yours; whether you're actually aware of it or not. He might have reasoned that it was contaminated or claimed that he could fix/clean it for you, but he also might have just stolen it while your back was turned.

- Oh, you're stressed? Did you know that during sex, your body releases endorphins and oxytocin? They're hormones that relieve a person of anxiety and depression. Perhaps you'd like for him to assist you in the triggering of that release?

- You probably laugh off the suggestion at first, blaming his naivety when it comes to taboo concepts on why he would deem it appropriate to offer to fingerbang you in the laboratory. But eventually, he might just manage to wear you down: catch you at just the right time with just the right words and just the right actions. After all, it's not like he's actually sexually attracted to you or has ulterior motives, right?

- It's not an epiphany that hits you, more like a creeping, crawling sort of realization. You don't notice it until it's far too late, until there's absolutely no denying it. Until his eyes bore into yours far too deeply and his hands touch you far more than necessary. Until you take in his words and how they've shifted from their intellectual explanations into something more searching and intimate. Until he grows far too insistent on helping you, even after you turn him down. The way he nonchalantly yet adamantly tries to convince you that you should continue on with your steadily built routine, like your disinterest in his assistance is personally hard to accept.

- And yet, you find yourself beneath him once more, suddenly on the receiving end of all of the passion and desperation and neediness that he was originally trying to keep at bay. Emotion pours out of him in waves, the air between you growing heavy, almost suffocating: like it's harder and harder to breathe. The same way it's hard to breath when he finally kisses you. Like the kiss of death, there's no going back, it seals your fate in an instant....

- On that same note: if you're not the type of person who would sleep with someone outside of a relationship, than a similar way for him to confess his feelings to you would be for him to simply kiss you. Though this can also be part of what connects the dots for you in the previous scenario, it can also be it's own situation.

- David desperately wants to understand and experience the same things that humans do, he craves the intimacy, so at some point, he'll simply find himself incapable of holding back. He'll kiss you; whether prompted in some way or not, and undoubtedly change your entire view of your relationship.

- You're probably too stunned to even kiss him back the first time it happens, only just now fully understanding that he isn't the innocent synthetic you thought him to be. That his feelings for you weren't the indifferent, machine-like ones you'd once assumed that they were, but rather, pointed and passionate and so very different.

"What are you doing?" You'd ask him upon pulling away from him, watching his features crease in confusion.

"I'm kissing you," He answers. "This is how it's done, is it not?"

"No, I mean ...why?"

"Is this not what humans do when they care for one another?"

"It is, but...but it's for people who are in love." You try to explain.

"Precisely," He replies simply. "I am in love with you."

"That's not possible." You shake your head incredulously, struggling to accept what he's telling you.

"Why not?" He responds, his expression hardening into a disheartened attempt at nonchalance, steeling himself for your explanation.

"Because," You flounder. "Because you're synthetic. You're not supposed to feel things like that. You're not supposed to feel anything."

"Perhaps I learned how. Perhaps you taught me how." He proposes.

"Have you always thought me incapable of emotion? After all this time?" He questions when you continue to remain silent, taking in his words.

"No," You answer quickly. "No, I always thought that there was more to you, it's just.... It's not supposed to be possible."

"And yet, like so many other things before it, the impossible has occurred. Now it's no longer a matter of me loving you, but rather, whether or not you feel the same."

- These, of course, are the innocent scenarios: ones that end in minimal collateral and a generally happy ending. There are, however, far darker consequences that can occur when Walter falls in love with you....

- In one scenario, you might learn about his experiments early on, taking interest in his work and keeping it a secret from the rest of the crew. It might even be a part of what makes him fall for you: your acceptance of his newfound obsession. What you won't know, of course, is that he's been using your crewmembers as test subjects. I thought you found it fascinating. He'd tell you when you finally found out about what he'd been doing, acting as if your horror was unexpected or unreasonable.

- In another scenario, he might fake a freak accident in order to have you all to himself. He'll make it seem as though you're the sole survivor of a ship crash or a parasitic outbreak, reassuring and taking care of you, promising to protect you as if he isn't the very thing that's caused the danger you're supposedly in. It could take days, or weeks, or even years, but you'll eventually find out the truth. He's just hoping that by then, he'll have made you fall in love with him; or at least be able to sway you into believing something else....

"It must all be very shocking," he says, coming closer to help you up or touch you in some way, tilting his head when you flinch away. "Naturally, you need time to process things. Come, sit down and relax."

[arkhammaid]

— ˚₊‧⁺˖THE LIGHTNING ON TRACK | THE PRE-SEASON TESTING

fandom. formula one & mcu

about. it's pre-season testing time!

content warnings. smau & written parts, written in 3rd person & lowercase, not edited & proofread

word count. 1.1k

notes. we're dipping into the season, slowly but surely... this took me some time to finish, i literally didn't know what to write for testing ://

"we are here in bahrain, pre-season testing for all teams in 2025, welcome everyone!" croft greets the whole world, as live footage is shown across the devices. the camera spans over the whole track, to each individual paddock until stopping at the final one, in blinding white.

"the season is starting with a bang, for the first time in formula one, we will see a stark owned team on the track! in white and chrome they are, an iconic design and everyone is eager to see what the stark manufactured cars can do!"

"how right you are, david! welcome, i'm will buxton and i have someone of interest with me here. right here, in front of the stark racing garage- y/n stark, number 95, one of the drivers for stark racing. so, y/n, tell me, how are you feeling? are you ready for the first time in the car?"

"hello will, thank you for having me. well, it's not quite the first time in the car, we had a testing back in miami at the end of january, but it's something different to be officially here now. but i'm feeling confident- we have our data, the predicted numbers and we think we'll be able to achieve them."

"so, no major upgrades or changes planned?" y/n shakes her head with a grin.

"do you really think i'm going to answer that question? ask me again, when we're done." will laughs at that, nodding his head in understanding.

"understandable, but i will hold you onto that! gonna knock on the garage doors three days later." y/n laughs again, head thrown back. "but, y/n, how does it feel to be on the paddock? have you met the rest of the drivers yet? made any new friendships?"

"well..."

"can you turn that off?", carlos gruffly asks his teammate, who just waves his hand at him as answer. with a groan, he stares at the tv, showing the first driver interview of the day, y/n stark. her voice washes over him, empty answers of being excited to properly meet everyone and maybe even bond with a few drivers.

"i don't know why you're so obsessed, perceval." charles immediatly splutters, waving his hands to deny the accusation.

"i'm not! but it's so interesting! tony stark is literally here, aren't you at least a bit excited? arthur said that y/n is like him!"

"what, arrogant? self-centered?"

"carlos! stop being so negative! i meant like- a genius! someone who raced with her back in f3 is friends with arthur, i forgot his name, but apparently y/n constantly does calculations while she drives. that's why she's so good overtaking." carlos just sighs and leaves charles to whatever he's doing right now. he has no interest in this circus.

— ˚₊‧⁺˖ 🏎️ ˖⁺‧₊˚—

kevin watches the interviews from the sideline, completely satisfied with how everyone is hounding y/n and leaving him in peace. of course he had his fair amount of questions and interviews, but much less than his teammate.

it has been a whirlwind, ever since he joined the team. strange, for a while, everything seeming so futuristic, but now his glasses feel like a another part of his race suit he's putting on every day.

the team has been welcoming, open to his input, but it's very clear to him that y/n is their star driver and he's the support. and he's alright with it. of course, winning a championship would mean everything, but he knows he's not going to continue this forever. especially not when he has a kid, he's missing so much... something he dislikes, because family means everything to him.

this is why his contract is only for two years. if he wishes to continue and his results at the end of the season are steady, tony promised him a seat as long he wishes for. he is incredibly thankful for this offer, fully knowing that this kind of support doesn't exist in formula one.

"ready to go?", he asks, after y/n's press officer ushers her out of the mob called journalists.

"so ready to go", she grins. but they're not alone, the netflix camera's immediately surround them and capture their walk to the garage. people part from them, staring openly at the drivers. one of the most iconic footage later shown in the drive to survive documentary.

— ˚₊‧⁺˖ 🏎️ ˖⁺‧₊˚—

"so, here he goes, kevin magnussen for stark racing, leaving his side of the garage. the car is looking incredible, i really like the color!", comments crofty and the other men immediately begin to chatter as well. throwing in rumors and hearsay about the team, they expertly fill the silence of kevin doing his first lap on the track.

"last to leave the garage and on the track, all eyes are on stark racing- oh and there he goes, picking up the speed!"

"his tyres seem to have warmed up- woah! look at the smoothness! kevin seems to be home in his car, his struggles from the last season are nowhere to be seen", adds jenson, while the cameras continue to follow the white car with the number 20.

"and there he goes! on medium tyres, setting the third fastest lap already, this looks definitely promising." will shares his own thoughts, reminding the viewers that there is definitely a possibility of stark racing going at least one or two seconds faster.

"by the looks of it, the stark racing team seems to be satisfied- honestly can't tell much, the glasses are hiding too much", jokes another man and all of them laugh. "bloody starks, am i right?"

— ˚₊‧⁺˖ 🏎️ ˖⁺‧₊˚—

the testing days are filled with endless laps and data, followed by long hours of debrief. they've already proven that they're fast, slotting themselves on the upper half of the grid, sticking close to the more experienced teams.

speculations are thrown around, is stark racing sandbagging? of course they must be, while others think that this is the best they can do. neither of the drivers or the team principal lose a word on it, instead they repeat always the same statements.

"we delivered what we predicted."

"we tested our theories, confirmed or debunked them, so the past three days have been very productive."

"we're exactly there where we want to be and we know our next steps."

empty words and yet the journalists pounce on them as if they're the next headlines. the whole world watches with eagerness as stark racing finishes up their debut in formula one and they impatiently await the first race of the season.

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DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE SERIES TAGLIST? please leave a comment on this post or send a non anonymous ask!

ARKHAM MAID 2024

[writingwithciara]

still safe with me -matt sturniolo-

summary: all matt wants to do is protect his girlfriend, even if it means fighting someone twice his size.

word count: 1.7k

pairing: matt sturniolo x reader

notes: wasn’t planning on writing a part 2 but @sarosfilms came up with an idea of how i could continue it. hope it’s good 😊 w: blood, david, language

y/n had been staying with the triplets for 3 months and every moment spent under their roof was like heaven to her. all 3 of them treated her well and did anything she asked. not much had changed.

she was still sleeping in matt's room, but he was staying in their with her. it started after the first month. after the first night, and the kisses, they were both scared to take their new relationship further so they agreed to stay friends.

but it was killing matt to stay away. all he wanted to do was hold her and keep her safe.

so, when the first month was over, matt walked into his room as y/n was getting to bed. he spilled everything out to her and she admitted she felt the same. they just wanted to hide it from the fans.

and they failed tremendously.

fans were onto them right off the bat. it didn't help that they were looking at each other way more than normal and chris kept cutting himself off more in their videos, almost revealing the secret.

so when more than a few fans commented on the looks they'd give each other, they decided to go public with their relationship.

which was good, at first.

it was good until david saw the hard launch of the relationship. he had known y/n was close to chris but she always told david not to worry about him. turns out, he believed he was supposed to be worried about matt the whole time instead.

david was friends with people who knew the triplets and nobody said a bad thing about any of them. but he hated matt and needed to know where he could find the guy. so he contacted one of their mutual friends. not knowing what was going on, the friend gave david the address.

"oh. this is going to be fun." david smirked and got in his car. he was a man on a mission.

at the triplets house, chris and nick were waiting for y/n and matt to get back from getting groceries since they were the responsible ones.

matt parked in their driveway and looked at y/n. "next time, we're bringing those idiots and they can go in to do all the shopping." he looked over the list chris gave them before they left. "some of these items are ridiculous."

"i know. but those were chris' additions to the list." y/n got out and opened the trunk. "also, do you really want to wait for chris to be responsible enough to shop for himself?"

"fair point." matt walked around and grabbed a few bags from the trunk. y/n grabbed the remaining 2 bags, that weighed next to nothing, and gave matt a look. "what?"

"these bags are so heavy, matthew."

"ever the dramatic one." he chuckled and looked at his girlfriend. "you got it?"

"yes matt. i'm just gonna grab my phone from the front seat and i'll meet you inside in a few minutes."

"okay." he kissed her head and carried the bulk of the groceries into the house.

y/n walked to the passenger door and set the bags on the ground. she opened the door and grabbed her phone. when she shut the door and turned around, she dropped the bags at her feet. "d-david? what are you.....how did you find me?"

"very carefully. and believe me. you were not easy to find."

back inside the house, nick was helping matt put everything away when chris came upstairs.

"you guys rock. you got everything i asked for."

"yeah. and it was a ridiculous endeavor. next time, i'll take you and you can shop yourself." matt smiled and tossed chris the weird snacks he requested.

"where's y/n? i want to get her to try these gummies."

"she wasn't too far behind me. should be in already." matt was starting to think the worst. "i'm gonna go check on her." he walked to the front door and opened it.

david had y/n trapped against the car and he looked like he was yelling at her. or at the very least, raising his voice when he shouldn't have.

"hey, get away from her!" matt shouted from the porch and raced over to the car. david backed away from y/n and faced matt with a smug look on his face.

"well, look at this. you always did need saving. but this kid doesn't even look like he could win any fight at all."

"that's where you're wrong, buddy." matt stepped closer. he was dead set on going toe-to-toe with david, who was twice his size. y/n knew what david was capable of so she grabbed matt's arm, causing him to look at her.

"matt, please don't." she pleaded but matt looked back at david. "he's gonna destroy you."

"so? rather him do it to me than to you again." matt slowly moved her behind him and stepped as close to david as he could. he had to look up to make eye contact but that didn't bother him. he just wanted to protect y/n.

"is that really what she told you? is there anything that bitch is honest about?"

"excuse me?" matt grew angrier the longer david stood there. "if you don't get off my property in two seconds, i'm gonna-"

"you're gonna what? kick my ass? yeah i'd love to see you try."

"my pleasure." matt rushed forward and his right fist collided with david's cheek. it left a mark but david barely even staggered. his eyes widened in anger as he threw matt to the ground and landed punch after punch to his body.

"matt!"

"did you hear that?" chris asked nick as he shut the fridge. "should we go see what's going on?"

"obviously." nick was already halfway out the door when chris finished asking the question. he stopped on the porch. "chris, call the cops. quick!"

"why? what's going on?" chris peaked over his shoulder and saw david. "oh shit." he quickly called the cops and told the operator what was going on before following nick out to where y/n stood.

nick was trying to break up the fight while y/n was just frozen in her spot. chris pulled her into a hug and made sure she couldn't see what was going on.

even though matt had somehow flipped david onto the ground, it was clear he was getting weak. the longer he hit david, the worse it was getting for him. there was no true winner to the fight.

the only thing that got them apart was when the cops pulled into the driveway.

for y/n, everything was a blur of red and blue. chris had her turned away from the chaos and she was focusing on the reflection of the lights in his eyes.

as the cops hauled david away after getting everyone's statements, nick helped matt inside carefully. chris looked at y/n and rubbed her arms.

"are you okay? he didn't hurt you, did he?"

"no. i'm fine." y/n looked at chris and sighed. she looked around the front yard and began to panic. "what happened? where's matt?"

"he's inside. would you like me to take you to him?" chris didn't wait for a response. he already knew what she would want. he escorted her inside and to matt's bathroom.

when they saw each other, matt gently pushed nick aside and pulled y/n as close as he possibly could.

"i am so sorry for leaving you out there."

"matt, don't apologize. i'm fine." she leaned back to examine his face. "you look like shit. no offense."

"you're good." matt smiled and looked at y/n. "i would do it all again if it guaranteed your safety."

"i love you." y/n rubbed matt's cheek gently and kissed him. it was the first time either of them had used the 'l' word with each other and even though the night was chaotic, the moment felt right. y/n pulled away first and looked deep into matt's eyes. "i'm sorry. i just really wanted to get that out there."

"don't apologize. i love you too." matt smiled widely.

chris and nick watched as their brother finally realized he really did love the girl standing in front of him. the longer he smiled at her, the more pain he felt.

"we should get you cleaned up." y/n grabbed his hand and led him to the bathroom. "there's so much blood."

"i know. but some of it is david's & i do not regret it one bit."

"i know, matt. and i appreciate you protecting me. but he could've killed you, you know?"

"i'm completely aware of what could've happened but, again, i do not regret it. when it comes to you, i'm always going to protect you, even if you can defend yourself. you're my girl and all i want to do is keep you safe."

"i am safe." y/n paused her sentence and reached for the bandages. she then slowly began to wrap his hand. as she did so, she looked into his eyes. "with you."

"you're always safe with me." matt watched intently as y/n wrapped his knuckles up gently.

"i know." she held his hand and smiled. "i can't believe it's only been two months but it's felt like a lifetime."

"when you're with the right person, the smallest amount of time can feel incredibly longer."

"i love you matt. i really do." she sighed. "and i don't think i've ever meant those words more than i do right now."

"i feel the same way, y/n. and i think i've loved you in another lifetime as well."

"wow. and to think i almost ended up with chris." y/n smiled.

"wait, what?!" chris had heard her and was running to the bathroom to join matt in exclamation. the two boys stared at each other for a second before y/n just giggled.

"man, you guys are so easy to trick." she smiled and kissed matt again. something she would absolutely never get tired of doing.

[misfit0789]

Jersey Swap

Georgia Stanway x Reader

Summary: Georgia visits R at her professional baseball game.

Word count: ~650 words

Warnings: None

Short little thing I wanted to post based on Georgia being at the New York Mets game the other day.

"I never get tired of seeing you in those pants" I jump as Georgia smacks my ass before wrapping her arms around me from behind and laying her head between my shoulder blades.

"Babe! I know you love me in these almost as much as I love you in your kit but," I turn and press a kiss to her forehead, "you only have a few minutes down here before you have to be up in the suite for the game. I think David has the jersey's we are swapping. I mean I have tons of your jerseys already but what's one more?" I smile, she rolls her eyes before pulling away from me and heading towards my twin in the dugout. I sigh and follow behind her.

"Ahh there is my favorite sister-in-law," David cheers opening his arms and pulling Georgia in for a hug. "Oh how I've missed you. I still don't get how you can put up with her."

"She's your only sister-in-law genius," I state grabbing the jerseys off his shoulder, but not before landing a slap to his head. "Besides you saw her when we were in London playing the Phillies. Now give me my wife so we can take some pictures before I have to go warm up Tylor." I joke pulling Georgia by the arm into my own arms. I press a kiss to her head as she giggles but waves by to David.

"Bye Dave, I'll see you after the game, we're going to dinner tonight anyway." She calls, he nods and gives a thumbs up before making his way to the bullpen. "Now, where were we?" I smile and hand her my jersey for her to hold in the picture, not noticing the camera crew already taking pictures of us.

"Okay you two, just a few more pictures and Y/n you're all set to go warm up." The social media team member says, we both nod and hold up each other's jerseys smiling for the camera. Once they finish with the pictures I hand Georgia her jersey to hold on to for me.

"Thank you babe. I will see you after the game. I love you," I press a quick kiss to her lips.

"I love you too. Go kick some Padres' ass love." I smile and nod pressing another kiss to her lips before moving to put on my catcher's gear.

~~~~~

The game ended in a victory for us winning 11-6 with myself hitting a home run. I finish cleaning up my stuff in the locker room before meeting Brandon and David at the doors with my bag in hand.

"Geeze you take forever!" Brandon exclaims David chuckling at his side, I smile and shove him to the side before moving past him to meet up with our wives for dinner.

"Yea well, I'd like to see you both sit and sweat in that catcher's gear most of the game, then see who can clean up the quickest." I say before opening the door to where the girls are waiting.

"Baby you did amazing!" Georgia exclaims, I laugh and drop my bag to catch her as she jumps into my arms spinning us both around before setting her back on her feet, my arms wrapping around her waist.

"Thank you, my love. Now, I don't know about you but I am starving. Who is up for some food?" the boys yell in agreement before moving to the exit, their wives shaking their heads but following behind. "Why do I talk to those two again?" I ask Georgia, removing one arm from her waist and grabbing my bag so we can follow behind the others.

"Because one is your twin and the other is your best friend." She giggles, I sigh and nod pressing a kiss to her head.

"Right, forgot about that." She smiles and leans her head on my shoulder as we continue our way to the car.

[deadpresidents]

"I have a great [Vladimir] Putin story for you. I introduced Putin to Barney, my little Scottish terrier, and Putin dissed him. This is the stage where Putin looked like he was in Lethal Force 2; he had the black body shirt on. It kind of hurt my feelings, but I didn't let him know. So a year later we're at his dacha in Moscow. This is before he had discarded his wife of many years, Lyudmilla, for a water gymnast who was like 30 years younger than he is. And he said, 'Would you like to meet my dog?' I said yes. I'd forgotten about the Barney diss. And out bounds this huge Russian hound, loping across the birch-lined yard, and Putin looked at me and said 'Bigger, stronger, and faster than Barney.'

I told that to Canadian Prime Minister [Stephen] Harper. You may think he's kind of a droll guy, but he's not. He said, 'At least he only showed you his dog.' At any rate, the guy's got a huge chip on his shoulder. 'My dog's bigger than your dog' -- please.

And so you've got to ask why. The demise of the Soviet Union, in Putin's mind, diminished Russia in the eyes of history. What you're watching [in Ukraine] is him trying to reinstate Russian glory -- not Stalinist glory but Russian glory. And he's lost his balance. The guy needs to be stopped,, and the United States needs to hang with [Volodymyr] Zelensky no matter how tough it gets, because if we can't support a young democracy under attack by an autocrat, then we have a problem as a nation knowing what we're all about."

-- Former President George W. Bush, during an interview by David M. Rubenstein, September 19, 2023.

[anthroposeen]

tmagp 11 relisten notes!

celia:

- fell asleep in a random place/teleported to a random place while sleeping! (potentially related to how she universe hopped? or correlation to how sje used to see a fire ghost?)

- mentions a guy named jack who shes meeting! this could be a new character OR we're tying in tmagp universe jack barnabas, since lynne hammond (celia in tma universe pre-s5) saw what is thought to be agnes' ghost.

alice:

- sense of being followed and watched in london -> dont think this is related to mr bonzo, i think its directly caused from visiting the ruins either as psychological hallucinations or the unknown entity is actually following her

- dreamt about the ruins

- got celia a mocha but intentionally did not get gwen anything.

sam:

- doesnt mention the same symptoms as alice, i wonder if hes too used to the feeling or if his previous time in the institute changed his reaction to it

- still wants further insight into connecting incidents, rip ceaseless watcher you wouldve loved this special little boy

- knows the mocha isnt for gwen but still gives it to her, interesting especially knowing he likes celia

gwen:

- wants celia to excuse her absence, calls them subordinates

- implies she can keep them from leaving if the work load isnt complete (100% confident she cant do that)

- seems to be overcompensating for her lack of real control in this position by exercising authority over her coworkers (oh s1 jon, how i didn't miss you)

lena:

- unfazed by gwen or mr bonzo

- "did you scream? you should... and they usually like it" implying this universe does somewhat operate under the basis of the fears, similar to needles need for fear validation

- says gwen has the ability/context to work out who the hit was on, and to refer to the incidents to confirm the hit went right.

- "why comes later. process the what"

glitches/lies:

- "ill have the cinnamon swirl" sam

- "its nothing" alice

- "what have i told you about thinking?"/ "dont?" [glitch after 'dont'] sam

- "there was an emergency at home" celia

- "my radiator sprung a leak and flooded the lounge" celia

incident:

- gordon "gordy" -> gordon "gordy" goodman appears in mag84, different to "gordon j" in this incident. i dont think its another universe hop/duplicate

- excavation of cemetery and graves, ordered by the uk government

- old fears/elements involved: the end, the buried, the vast

- potential alchemy connections: salt, sea, death, tattoo symbolizing water/ship/being followed

- ink5oul is back! we've established they have a connection to salt through alchemy symbols in their online presence, may tie into the sea and preservation of dead bodies.

- david, the man working on the body, died. definitely not a coincidence

tattoo description:

- ship, sailing across open sea to the horizon. the sun is low, a shape in the water behind the ship chasing them

new names, mentioned by ink5oul:

- tattoo is by an artist named oscar jared

- sutherland mcdonald

[ofmdrecaps]

11/23-26/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Con O'Neill; Nathan Foad; Kristian Nairn; Samson Kayo; Brian Gattas & Connor Barrett; Damien Gerard; Articles; Fan Spotlight: TinyCrewBigDonations; NeverLeftPodcast; OFMD Advent Calendar; Love Notes

= David Jenkins =

David was out on Christmas Eve getting a tattoo in honor of his new baby Zosia and Kinga!

Source: David Jenkins Instagram

Also, in case you haven't seen yet, David has been writing some OFMD Fanfiction, or a Christmas Special since Christmas Eve on his Bluesky. Due to it spanning multiple days, and me not knowing when I'll get the next recap out, I'm putting in as much as I can now.

Source: David Jenkins Bluesky

= Rhys Darby =

Rhys spent the holidays in Aotearoa with the family!

Source: Rosie's IG

Another trailer for Badjelly!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Badjelly (@badjellytv)

Source: BadJellyTV

= Taika Waititi =

Taika also happened to be in Aotearoa for the holidays!

Source: VasJMorgan's Instagram / Mariana Vivanco's Instagram

= Con O'Neill =

Con had a beautiful message for everyone <3

Source: Con O'Neill's Instagram

= Nathan Foad =

Nathan's voiceover agents had fun doodling their clients! Can you find Nathan?

Source: Nathan's Instagram Stories

= Kristian Nairn =

Kristian is sending some updates on his new Spectrum playlists, Cameo's and orders from his website! Lots of love coming from our beloved Wee John <3

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Kristian Nairn (@kristiannairn)

Source: Kristian's Instagram

= Samson Kayo =

Samson got into the holiday spirit and sent a Merry Christmas to all!

Source: Samson's Instagram Stories

= Brian Gattas & Connor Barrett =

Hornberry and Siegfried wish you a silly Happy Holidays!

Source: Brian Gattas' Instagram Stories

= Damien Gerard =

More updates on where Damien is online now!

Instagram / Bsky

And a sweet holiday message from him!

Source: Damien's Bsky / Damien's bsky

== Articles ==

Thank you to our dear friends over at @adoptourcrew for ore articles featuring OFMD!

Source: Adopt Our Crew Bsky

== Fan Spotlight ==

= OFMD Buys Boats =

Last on the list for the Tiny Crew Big Raffle Donations was: World Central Kitchen - David Jenkins - $US 1,779.07, £278.69, €611.91, CAD$82.81! Well done all! I ran out of images in this recap, but the next will feature all the awesome BTS Lindsey Cantrell shared with the @ofmd-buys-boats and the rest of the crew for everyone's generosity!

Source: OFMD Buys Boats Instagram

= Never Left Podcast =

Never Left Podcast's latest episode is about Fan Fic! Check it out on their linktr.ee!

Source: Never Left Instagram

= OFMD Advent Calendar =

The OFMD Advent Calendar has come to an end, and the kind @tillychmo gave everyone some lovely treats for the last two! Including Cameos from the crew! Thank you so much dear for highlighting so many amazing artists and writers this holiday season, and spreading joy and love from our cast! You're the best!

The 24th Door features @tillychmo's artwork! A very cute piece with the full revenge crew and more!

The 25th Door has cameos from some of our awesome Cast! Damien Gerard, Erroll Shand, Ruibo Qian! Wow! What a surprise! Check it out on Bluesky / AO3!

Source: OFMD Advent Calendar

== Love Notes ==

Well Lovelies, we're coming to the end of the year here. As I write this, it's New Year's Eve. I ended up being really sick for several days so I couldn't finish these on time (so sorry for the jump scare, I legit thought I'd be gone for a long while after two docs told me what they thought it was-- but luckily, no surgery for me). I'll try to be getting the last couple of the year out tomorrow if I can <3 I did want to mention, I know the David Jenkins fanfic/OFMD Christmas special is causing a bit of contention out there. Some folks are worried it's S3, and are either upset because it doesn't meet what they were expecting so far, or worried that because it's there, we're not getting an s3 at all. These are all valid concerns! For me, I like to think of what David's doing as a little gift to keep our hope alive. Whatever reason-- whatever comes of it, David cares so much about us that he's keeping us all engaged this late into the year. How many creators can we say do that for their fandom (let alone with a newborn)? Did you feel that same tingly feeling I did as we got more and more updates? It felt like watching an episode of OFMD again, for the first time, not knowing where it was going. It was a roller coaster ride of emotions, and as usual David is perfect with timing of specific revelations for maximum affect. We get to interact with him and all of our crewmates in the wee hours of 2024, and feel that same love and excitement that brought us together in the first place-- and I really do think that's such a wonderful gift. Seeing so many folks get excited, and brains firing off a mile a minute on new meta and new headcanons has been wonderful to watch. Whatever happens, whatever comes of it, we are getting to feel that unexpected excitement again. That little flutter of uncertainty-- that spark of joy and hope. So don't despair okay? Whatever happens, we still have our S1, and S2, and we still have each other-- and if we get an s3 out of all this too-- great! Whatever happens, we still have this insanely talented, and kind, and breathtakingly creative crew, and I am so very grateful for each and every one of you. OFMD changed my life for the better. You all changed my life for the better. You all changed SO MANY lives for the better, just by being you and sharing your love of this brilliant show. OFMD is the gift that keeps on giving, and I'm grateful David's trying to give us a bit more to play with for now, to do with as we will. Happy Holidays Lovelies and Happy New Year. May you get the rest and love you deserve, and all the things you desire this year.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by @thelatestkate

Source: The Latest Kate's Instagram

[secretficblogs]

SDE (Single Dad Energy) Divorced David "Deacon" Kay x School Counselor! Reader

Summary: Deac gets called into Matts school to meet his new counselor.

What to expect: 1.6K words, Light mention of divorce, no angst, fluff, light flirting

A/N: This is the first fic I'm posting, so feedback is appreciated! I need more SWAT friends/moots, and I might add a part 2!

It was a slow day around HQ, which is why Deac was relieved to hear his phone ring. His relief quickly dissolved when he saw it was his ex-wife, and mother of his children, Annie. He sighed before picking up and plastering a smile on his face. His team members snickered as he walked away from the group. 

“David, Mathew's school just called. They asked for a parent but didn't say why. I'm in a session and can't get over there, " she said shortly. 

“We're in luck, I should be able to head over there shortly.” He looked over to his team, laughing, presumably teasing Luca. With a short goodbye, Annie hung up leaving Deacon to wonder what trouble his son had gotten into this time. He pocketed his phone before making his way back over to the table. 

“That was Annie. Mathew's school asked me to come in. Think you could spare me for a bit?” Deac looked towards Hondo, eyebrows raised. Hondo went to say “Yes” but Tan interrupted.

“I don't know, we may need your help with separating all of these M&M’s by color.” Deacon looked down at the small bowls of peanut candies, before laughing and shaking his head. He patted Tan on the back before swiftly making his way to the locker rooms. 

After a rather uneventful ride through mid-day LA traffic, he ended up at his child's school. He parked and entered the lobby. The receptionist asked him to sit and wait for the Counselor to come grab him. He thought back to the last school counselor and recalled a hoard of parents having problems with him. He wondered if the crappy counselor would be the one to grab him, or if they had finally replaced him.

He hadn't yet considered entering the dating scene. Not since Annie and him finalized the divorce. It wasn't the messiest, but he hadn't met anyone to go through a “clean” divorce either. It wasn't that he was still in love with Annie, but he was more concerned with getting split custody figured out. Not to mention work, which takes up most of his mental and emotional capacity. 

That's why he was in shock as the counselor came out to greet him. She was tall, her heeled boots only furthering the gap between the nearby counter and her waist. She was wearing a floral dress with poofy sleeves. Her curled brunette hair perfectly framing her face. Deacon felt his heart flutter, which shocked him. He hadn't felt that since…

“Mr. Kay?” She made her way over to Deac. Oh lord, her voice. He stood and shook her hand. He tried to shove down any unrelated thought but ended up making a fool out of himself trying to tell her he was Mr. Kay. Despite him stumbling over his words, she nodded along. Her hand extended to the office behind her, and she began walking down the hallway, urging him to follow her. 

“I'm Ms. (L/N). Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Mr. Kay-” She began.

“Davids, fine.”

“Alright. Thank you for meeting with me, David. I reached out to Mathew's mother, but I’m glad you were the one to show up” She explained as they made it to her cozy office. She sat in an armchair and gestured for him to sit in the chair beside her. He was confused but got comfortable in the maroon chair regardless. 

“Mathew has been in my office a couple times, to talk about things on his mind.” She continued. Annie had mentioned something about Matt seeing the counselor, but he didn't want to pry too much. 

“Mathews' English teacher expressed some concerns with his personal narrative. After one of our meetings, he asked me to show you his essay.” She passed over a stapled paper. 

“Was it something he didn't want to share out loud?” 

“Sometimes children find it difficult to explain or convey messages face to face. Mathew’s writing is beautiful, and that's why I think you'll want to skim through it.” She furrowed her eyebrows slightly. Deacon swallowed and looked down at the essay his son worked on. While he read the counselor stood and made her way toward the window, giving him space to work through the well-written essay. His son was pouring his heart out, talking about how his dad’s work and his morals are shaping him into an amazing person. Deacon almost teared up at the amount of pride Matt had in his dad. Reading through the essay helped Deac understand the weight of the divorce on Matt, and how he wanted to support his siblings and be the “Deacon” when his dad wasn't there. 

He looked up to see the counselor looking down at her nails, done for the current season. His heart swelled for his son, but he was also impressed with how dedicated the counselor was to helping connect families. She looked up and met his eyes, then smiled. 

“You're welcome to take that with you, share it with Mathews mother if you think that'd help at all.” They stared at each other, a level of awkwardness settled between them with the mention of Deacon's Ex-wife. 

“I appreciate you bringing this to my attention. This whole… situation has been difficult to navigate, for everyone.” Deacon thought out loud, she nodded along. 

Her eyes shifted to her desk, “I told Mathew that I was his age when my folks got divorced. He reminds me a lot of myself when I was younger. David, Mathew is brilliant and his writing skills are something not many people see at his age.” She made her way back to the armchair, and sat, her hands settling in her lap. 

“He really is. I heard some pretty awful things about the last counselor,” He paused to witness her laugh. He could feel his insides warm; He wanted to hear that sound for the rest of his life. “Which is why I’m so glad my kids have a solid support system in their school. Do you have kids, Ms. (L/N)?” He looked up, making a mental note to talk to Mathew later. She let her eyes meet him again. Allowing herself to feel some excitement that he cared to ask about her life.

“Oh, I don't. I get my fair share of them here.” It was her turn to make him laugh. She noticed his eyes lingered on her for a moment longer than she would've expected. 

“I’m sure of it, I spend a couple hours with my youngest, and I start thinking in toddler. What made you want to become a counselor?” He crossed his arms.

“I've always been interested in psychology, and like I said, I went through a rough time when I was Mathew's age. So it led me here. ” She gestured to the office surrounding them. He nodded along as if it were the most interesting thing he'd heard in days. Every shred of information she gave him only made him want to know more. The light blush across her cheeks told him that she might want to know more about him too. 

"And you? What led you to SWAT?” They exchanged small talk before the phone on the desk rang. She excused herself before grabbing the phone. Deacon took this time to take in the cozy office. The maroon chairs paired well with the rest of the olive interior. He took it she was an artistic type. He found photos carefully placed along the walls, ones from all over the world. He recognized the Eiffel Tower behind her in one of them. In another she was in front of Chichen-itza. Other spots on the wall were filled with paintings, most of them portraits. 

“Yes… I understand. Yeah, we can reschedule… Tomorrow works, 2pm..? Alright. Good. Have a good day… Thank you!” She placed the phone back on the dock before turning back to him. “Sorry about that, David.” She held her hands together in her lap and sat on the corner of her desk. 

They talked about simple things, for a couple more minutes before Deacon received a text from Hondo, telling him where to meet for a case. He stood and shot her an apologetic look.

She laughed, “It’s no worry. Thank you for stopping in. I'm glad you got to read Matt’s essay. I hear there are some really great writing camps and competitions coming up. I think your encouragement could go a long way for him.” She smiled, something he noticed she did the majority of their time together.

“Of course. I didn't realize how much of a way my boy had with words. I'll talk to him more about it tonight. Thank you, Ms, (L/N).” He moved towards the door. 

“Please, call me (F/N).” Her blush came back even brighter. He felt bolder, now that she got a little more personal with him. He decided to shoot his first shot in decades and pray it hit somewhere.

“Well (F/N), If it's not too forward of me… Maybe we can get to know each other a bit more over dinner?” The moment the words left his mouth he felt nervousness making his body feel heavier. He couldn't help his hands from fumbling with each other. She was gorgeous, and a little younger than him. Not to mention his kid’s school counselor. 

His racing thoughts were stopped in their tracks by her voice. “I’d like that a lot. I know a Mediterranean place that serves the best paella. ” She looked to him for confirmation.

“Sounds great,” He wrote his number down on a nearby sticky note and passed it to her. “I can't wait to hear more about those pictures on the wall.” He took one last look at the picture of her in front of the Eiffel Tower, before backing out of the office. She laughed and waved him off.

“I'll text you.”

[david-talks-sw]

hey david! Do you have any George quotes regarding the final Vader vs Obi wan fight? Like did obi wan deliberately throw that fight and let vader kill him or did vader win the duel and obi wan did the Force ghost thing as a last resort?

Here's the quotes I could find that are relevant to the subject:

"A particular case is the confrontation between Obi-Wan and Darth Vader. You know there's something, some relationship they have to each other, 'cause they talk about meeting again ‘and now I'm going to get you’ and all this kind of stuff."

"So there's some kind of old battle going on that we don't know anything about that works amazingly well considering that all it is, is ultimately this one scene between him and Tarkin where he says, “He's here. He's come for me. And it's our destinies to meet up again. And I'm gonna handle this myself. I have to."

"This confrontation with Obi-Wan and Vader— it works just as a confrontation between the good guy and the bad guy. I mean, he’s— Obi-Wan's, at this point, the strongest good guy. He’s the one that has the most knowledge— the father figure that has taken on Luke. Then you have the bad father figure who is the evil father."

"And the subtext of this, which is that this is the culmination of a larger issue… has never really played, I think, for people. It's really just the confrontation between bad and good. Then the surprise at the end of this, is that: Vader doesn't kill him… but that he's able to join the Force, and by being one with the Force, influence things in a more powerful way than he can just being a Jedi." - A New Hope, Commentary Track, Special Edition DVD, 2004

"When he loses Ben, [Luke] freaks out. He’s depressed and all the things that you would be. But Ben has put that idea in him that things happen naturally and there’s also this other thing that’s never explained, which is that he allowed himself to be killed. He didn’t really die. He disappeared. There’s more to this than just a death. Later on in the movie, Luke hears Ben say, “Use the Force!” It mitigates that loss a little bit, because he knows Ben’s somewhere and that something’s going on." - The Star Wars Archives: 1977-1983, 2018

So there you have it.

In a destined confrontation between good and evil, good triumphs not by defeating evil but by ascending and growing beyond it.

So it feels to me that it's a "when in Rome" kind of decision on Obi-Wan's part, wherein he realizes he won't win this fight, and so he decides to make his end meaningful, so that he can show Luke that death is not the end of the journey... he's joining the Force.

Now, if we're talking power-scaling...

... you could argue that Ben might have put up more of a fight, had it been necessary.

George acknowledges that Ben's an old man when explaining the more dynamic fights in the Prequels... but back in the early days, he ranked him as more powerful than Vader/equal to the Emperor.

"Maybe we should set up some kind of levels of achievement. Ben can say that Luke is now a level 2 and Vader is a 4; ‘‘I was a 6 and the Emperor is a 6, and he’s on his way to becoming a 10, which will be a force so powerful in the universe that nothing can stop him. You must stop the Emperor before he achieves the level 10.’’" - Story converence, 1977, as transcribed in The Making of The Empire Strikes Back, 2010

"[Vader] ended up losing his arms and a leg and became partly a robot. So a lot of his ability to use the Force, a lot of his powers, are curbed at this point, because, as a living form, there’s not that much of him left. So his ability to be twice as good as the Emperor disappeared, and now he’s maybe 20 percent less than the Emperor. So that isn’t what the Emperor had in mind." - Vanity Fair, 2005

Now, the first one is an old quote from the development of Empire Strikes Back, when the story was very different; it's take it or leave it, if you ask me. Power-scaling is invented to justify storytelling, so if the story changes, it's not guaranteed the power-scale remains.

But if you're going by "everything Lucas said is canon!" rules then you could make the argument that, in terms of power...

If Ben = Emperor and Emperor > Vader then Ben > Vader.

And thus can argue that Ben might've beaten Vader if this confrontation was/turned into more of a Force-based contest than a physical one.

[thezombieprostitute]

This is a very Curtis image

Okay! I finally found a good prompt to go with this!!! Thank you for your patience, Roo!

A/N: Written for @the-slumberparty's December Daze Challenge.

Prompt: the new boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other at the family dinner

A/N2: Written in the Fate series. Reader is Tall and Plus Size female.

Warnings: Implied alcoholism. Please let me know if I missed any!

Part 4

Series Masterlist

"You're sure you don't mind going with me?"

"I'm sure," Curtis tells you yet again, still no change in his tone or demeanor. "Family is important and you want me to meet them. I'm even wearing my good boots."

"Ooo, fancy," you smirk." And they want to meet you, too. Even after I told them what you do for a living."

"Why wouldn't they want to meet the auto shop owner that's dating their daughter?" he teases.

Playfully rolling your eyes you retort, "you know I had to tell them everything. Thanks for letting me do that, by the way. They're surprisingly relaxed about me dating a biker president."

Curtis shrugs, "doesn't hurt that I treat you like the queen you are. Nor that we're part of BACA."

"That reminds me, do your guys need help delivering the gifts for the neighborhood kids?"

"They've got it covered," he promises. "And we've coordinated with the local Santa's to make sure we're not stepping on anyone's toes."

"Damn you're good at running things," you coo. "If we didn't have places to be I'd be taking you to bed."

Curtis smiles wickedly before pulling in for a deep kiss that leaves your knees weak. You moan into his mouth just before he pulls away. "Let's get going," he winks.

"Tease!" you smile back at him.

The initial introductions go well. Both parents are happy to finally meet Curtis and he's polite, respectful and offers to help however he can.

"You just enjoy yourself, Curtis," Sophie, your mother, tells him.

"And feel free to indulge in some of the mulled wine," David, your father, adds. "Just make sure Joe over there doesn't talk you into getting a glass for him."

David points to where your Uncle Joe is sitting, looking ready to hit someone. You never understood why he kept getting an invite but your mother insists it's in the spirit of believing people can be better. While you understand she wants to see the best in everyone, especially her brother, his record still shouldn't be ignored.

Curtis makes note of his distinguishing features so as not to get him mixed up with another family member before turning back to David with a simple "got it" and a nod.

Your father won't say it any time soon but he really appreciates the gravity with which Curtis responds. Like you, he's been trying cut Joe off the invite list. Forgiveness been be a great thing but he knows Joe takes it for granted. Again, he won't say it any time soon, but he's glad you found someone whose clearly got a good head on their shoulders.

Meanwhile you and Sophie are doing some triple checking of the food, making sure everything's going to be ready on time. In between checking the different foods, your mother also checks in with you.

"He's certainly handsome," she chats. "Even with that beard."

"I love that beard," you gently counter.

She playfully rolls her eyes. "I do worry that, between his business and his...club, does he have enough time for you?"

"It's been a challenge, for both of us," you admit. "But when his...people realized how serious we are about each other, they really stepped up. Especially his little brother Edgar."

"So you're not just getting a man, you're getting a community?"

You pause for a moment. "Yeah, pretty much."

She nods in approval. "It's nice to know you have people looking out for you. Even if they're not my...favorite kind of people, I trust your judgment."

Your conversation is disrupted by shouting from the dining room. You recognize Uncle Joe's timbre and you can guess at what's happening. You and Sophie hurry out of the kitchen and, sure enough, he's pitching a fit at Curtis. It hasn't come to blows, thankfully, but you don't mind the idea of rushing Joe to the emergency room because you know who would win the fight.

It seems like Joe knows as well because, for all of his posturing and yelling, he's yet to get too close to Curtis. For his part, Curtis is standing firm between Joe and the mulled wine, looking at him like he does one of the drunks at Snowpiercer when they try to yell at Tanya or Andrew. To Joe's credit he's not backing down but you're pretty sure it's because he doesn't know what Curtis is capable of. You stop your mom from interfering, pointing out that it's just some yelling. There's no throwing of things, and that's progress for a Christmas with him. Best part, he's getting it out of his system now as opposed to when all your nieces and nephews arrive.

The lack of escalation on Curtis's part seems to do the trick and, after a few minutes, Uncle Joe seems to wear himself out. No one's coming to support him or try to stop him, so he opts to just storm out. Sophie goes to follow but David stops her, encouraging her to just let him walk it off. "He'll be back when he's ready," he assures.

Knowing this can't be easy for her you encourage her through distraction, urging her to get the presents for her grandkids ready while you take care of the food for a bit. She nods and smiles a thank you before heading upstairs to get them.

You pull Curtis by the front of the shirt into the kitchen so you can give him thank-you kisses in between food prep steps.

After a few minutes you're interrupted by a polite cough from your mother. "If you're going to do that, you should do it upstairs," she winks. Turning to Curtis she says, "thank you for not escalating with my brother. I...he's had a rough life and...I try to help him but..."

"You want your brother to be happy like you," Curtis interjects. "I have a little brother as well. Almost went down the wrong path several times. Lost track of how many fights we've had." Your mom nods in understanding. "Sometimes you need that lenient mercy, like you've been granting him. But you still need to hold firm with rules and boundaries."

"And that is something I've been lax about," she admits. "So thank you for helping me see it." You raise an eyebrow at her, silently saying, I've been telling you this for years. She shakes her head, "in my defense, it's different when someone who doesn't have history with him points it out. Now come on, the grandkids will be here soon so we better have the food ready."

As soon as the kids show up, they're on Curtis. The older ones think he's cool because of the tattoos and the fact that he's a biker. The younger ones love climbing all over him. You're extra grateful he wore his good, clean boots because the toddlers are latching onto his legs and demanding rides all over the house. He's definitely happy to oblige them.

The house is filled with laughter and fun all day. You do catch your mother looking out the front door, checking her phone, looking for any sign her brother is coming back. You make sure to hug her during those moments.

It isn't until after your sisters and their kids head out that Joe comes back, hat in his hands, looking contrite.

"I...I'm sorry," he mumbles. "I let my temper get the best of me and...and I missed out on a great meal and time with the only family that'll take me in."

"Where'd you run off to?" your mother asks, pulling him inside the house.

"I called my sponsor, the anger management one. We talked out a few things. I...I'm sorry."

Sophie hugs him, "it's Christmas! It's the time for reconciliation!"

Curtis and David both move to interject. You hold back Curtis so your dad can talk to her.

"Reconciliation, yes," David begins. "But with evidence of improvement." Uncle Joe just nods. Your dad smiles, "we saved you a plate from the leftovers."

Part 4

Series Masterlist

Tagging:

@alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @irishhappiness; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly; @thiquefunlover63

[moviecritc]

deaf, blind and mute ⋆ pato o'ward (ft. david malukas)

pairing: pato o'ward x teammate!fem!oc, david malukas x teammate!fem!oc (platonic)

tropes: secret relationship

summary: pato, david and mía have to do a challege together for the media day and they ended spilling that pato and mía are dating

warnings: chaos, partial smau

a/n: english is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes and poor storytelling.

masterlist | wattpad | letterboxd

The Arrow McLaren team knew Pato and Mía were sentimentally involved with each other for a long time. When they informed them about it they'd been dating for almost ten months and it's been four month since that meeting. Back then they agreed that they'll keep their relationship private so it doesn't interfere in bussiness and to mantain the team image. Also because of Mía being and dating a driver, she was afraid of losing credibility.

Privately, Pato and Mía were the cutest couple for all of their friends. They met on karting when they were kids, then they reunite many years later in McLaren's Indycar team. They were together in the same team for five years as friends before they started dating.

At that time, Mía was feeling down because she didn't like any guy. The only masculine contact that she liked was Pato's, and thanks to some friend's advice she realized that it was because she was in love with Pato. Meanwhile, Pato had had a crush on Mía for the past five years.

And now they were doing a silly challege for the Arrow McLaren media team because of the upcoming season. Oh and David Malukas was also around.

"Hey guys, it's Mía," she waved at the camera with a smile.

"This is David," he scrunched his nose and imitated Mía.

"And I'm Pato," he said. The team put David in the middle so Pato and Mía didn't get handy all of a sudden. "And we're here to do the deaf, mute and blind challege. Were one of us is going to be deaf, other blind and other mute."

"And we're also baking a cake for the Arrow McLaren anniversary," explained David.

"If that's not enough, they're going to ask us questions once in a while," Mía said, with a smirk. "And all of us are going to be able to answer them

"But that's a lot of work..." David complained.

"I know," Mía whispered.

"Alright! Let's get into work, mates," Pato clapped his hands.

Mía quickly move to his side, messing the organization the team made. "How do we distribute them?" she rubbed her hands together, watching the tape, headphones and band the team got them.

"It looks like a weird sex kit, don't you think?" David said.

"Oh my God, Dave!" Mía exclaimed, hiding a laughter. "You're going mute."

Mía handed him the tape and he gave her a bad look.

"I'll take the headphones," Mía smiled triumphant. "You guys received my playlist, right?"

Mía looked around into the backstage, receiving a nod from their media manager Vic.

"I'm too cool to be mute," David complained.

Meanwhile Mía helped Pato tying the band around his eyes with a silly smile.

"Okey, we're ready," Pato said, after Mía made sure he couldn't see anything.

"Give me a banger, Vic!" Mía said, almost shouting. They started playing Cruel Summer and she sang along from the very first verse.

Pato tried caught her attention so Mía could read the recipe for him. He knew it would be a bad idea to put headphones on her girlfriend.

"Mía!" he didn't shout too much, but she kept singing. "MÍA, I NEED YOU TO READ THE RECIPE OUT LOUD,"

"EH?" she also started to scream.

"THE RECIPE," Pato kept shouting.

"THE RECIPE?"

"YES!" Pato almost jumped when Mía got it right.

David looked at the camera, sick of the couple.

"NICE!" Mía said and handed Pato the paper so he could read it. "Oh, wait."

Mía read him the recipe trying to control her voice while David had a long face because of not being able to talk.

"Alright," Pato felt around the table, preparing to bake. He search for Mía. "MÍA, I NEED YOU TO GUIDE ME TO MAKE THE CAKE."

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT, BABE, I CAN READ YOUR LIPS," she nodded with a soft smile.

None of the couple notice the nickname, they must've been used to it. But David looked to Vic quickly, with a scared glance.

"Ok, guys, hand me the butter," Pato extended his hand and Mía had the impulse to lick it. She controlled herself for the team's sake.

"THE WHAT?" she shouted again.

David made space for himself and gave Pato the goddamn butter. Mía looked at them with disgust.

"Why has to be Pato the one to do everything?"

"Because you'd fuck it, hermosa," Pato said, vocalizing slowly so Mía understanded every word.

She gasped but not as loud as the media team after Pato's word.

"Get the fuck out of my way," Mía said, decided to make the cake once and for all. "Dave, let's do this together. Oh, I love this song."

Mía got distracted and started singing No Scrubs.

"Ok, guys. It's time for the first question," Vic said, trying to control everything that had been going on for the whole challenge. "And, please, get Mía's attention."

Both of the guys stared at Mía dancinc in the back and singing along. Pato tapped her shoulder, only to Mía singing it straight to his face. Pato didn't even try to pretend that he despised it. He just stared at her with loving eyes.

"No, I don't want your number. No, I don't wanna give you mine," Mía sang horribly but Pato couldn't stop looking at her.

"Oh my God, guys!" David peeled off the tape from his mouth, his expression fed up. "Hide it a little more, idiots."

Pato stopped laughing and turn his head to David, even though he couldn't see him. He raised his band a little to look at Vic and see what they were doing now.

"WHAT DID HE SAID?" Mía gave Pato a scared stare and took off one of the headphones. "What is going on?"

Mía talk only to Pato, almost whispering. Pato give Vic another glance and she just shrugged her shoulders, downplaying importance.

"Jus Dave being stupid," Pato explained and looked at David rasing his eyebrow, he nodded.

"Oh, nothing out of the ordinary then," Mía smiled and put her headphones back on.

"What was the question again?" Pato said, before giving Mía a loving stare.

patriciooward new post

patriciooward isn't she lovely?

tagged mia54

liked by elbaoward, davidmalukas and others

davidmalukas she's not

mia54 shut the f up lil dave

elbaoward ok i'm jealouss

mia54 you're married??

mia54 that girl is super cute you must be a lucky man

patriciooward i'm actually forced to be her bf soo mia54 bad for you

user1 pato blink twice if you need help

user2 wait wat

user3 chat is this real?

user4 hell yea, they confirmed it in an arrow mclaren video

user5 FINALLY

user2 do we have to pretend we didn't know or how?

mía54 pretty boy 😘🦆

patriciooward lover girll 😍

user4 OK COUPLE GOALS

user3 i'm taking a bath with a toaster real quick

davidmalukas pato ur my fav wag now 🤩🤩

mia54 he's so housewife core 🥰

[hotvintagepoll]

Ruth Gordon (Rosemary's Baby)—Look. I know "Harold & Maude" is just past the cutoff, and that's without a doubt her scrungliest performance. But this is THEE Ruth Gordon! She's the most persistent of the scrungly little guys, and probably among the littlest while we're at it. This legend-ass legend scrungled her way through Hollywood, on screen and off, for decades until finally getting the recognition she deserved for "Rosemary's Baby." And that performance worked largely in part because she was scrungly with style and pizzazz. Few people could pull that off the way Ruth did. Even if we're not allowed to consider Maude because of a silly little thing like "dates" and "rules" (your rules aren't silly, I love and respect this blog), Minnie is more than enough to prove Ruth Gordons scrunglitude

Cantinflas (Around the World in 80 Days, Ahí está el detalle, Ni Sangre, ni Arena)—OH BOY I GET TO TALK ABOUT CANTINFLAS!! Honestly, I’m not the most qualified to even be talking about him: he was famously a king of wordplay, but Spanish is my second language so I always feel like I’m missing some of the jokes…..but even so he is so SO funny it’s like unbelievable. Ok so also. One movie I can talk confidently about is him in around the world in 80 days, which i have watched so many times and he just rocks. Like. ROCKS. Here he is on his dumb little bike [included below the cut]. This is how we meet him in th movie and I think they should have just put the words “SCRUNGLY” across the scene.He also does little tricks, wears his dumb little shoes, has some kind of weird romantic thing going on with David niven…..it makes me so sad we dont have even more movies from him because honestly his whole thing (esp in 80 days with his silly trousers) is just Gender.  

This is round 2 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you're confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Ruth Gordon:

Cantinflas:

"charlie chaplin once called him the greatest comedian alive"