#and I just thought that there’s already so many couple tropes of mixed couples where the woman is always lighter skinned

[doll-drawings]

been working on what I think the chicken run characters would look like as humans! I’ve been seeing a lot of other peoples interpretations and I can honestly say I adore them all. If you want to see how I interpret Mac, it’s on my self shipping blog <3 Babs, Bunty, and Fowler are soon to come!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Getting hot under the collar and in the kitchen and on the pool table and...

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Aug 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 3-4 of 12 - one of the things I'm enjoying about this show is the fact that the introverted super shy uke is having hot fantasies, and the extroverted seme is having the sweet fantasies. It's another way this show is highlighting God being the world's greenest flagged seme BL has ever produced. (And he's being given stiff competition this year - trend alert.)

Anygay: God is so cute and so not cool and so in love and all the consent asking word salad coming out of this boy. I LOVE him. 

Diew: It’s ep 4 so I’ve decided we can talk face-to-face.  God: So how many children do you want? 

The teaching him to play basketball bit, where God politely asks to hold his hand, is so freaking adorable I can’t.

I'm thinking of calling this show the anti-Mame pill.

Blue pill? Red pill? GREEN pill!

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - We gotta talk. I do like this version, but it’s starting to feel lackluster. Perhaps it always was by comparison to the bright sparkle uniqueness of the original. Perhaps I didn't notice because I was distracted by G4. But now I gotta say it's become a bit disappointing and even my love for G4 can’t seem to bind me to this. Frankly, this show is making me want to watch either the Japanese version, or My School President. It’s never a good sign when a currently airing BL makes me want to stop that and go rewatch an old one I’ve already seen.

NO SINGING.

Meanwhile, the "locked on the rooftop" trope! I haven’t seen that one in years. Cool. Also cute kisses. They learning. 

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - I can’t believe this is ending next week. But also I can. And I have thoughts.

I really love SailubPon. They might be one of my favorite newer pairs on the scene right now. But I just don’t believe in these characters or this couple. I don’t feel like they are going to have a lasting relationship. It feels like they’re just using each other for sex and distraction, and that’s how the script to set it up, and as a result they’re never gonna make it as a couple. As soon as the sexual fire between them burns out, what do they have to build a relationship on? Frankly? That would be fine if this were a modern love drama, and not a BL. But this IS a BL.

Putting the health code violators aside, I really do believe in the secondary pair, but they haven’t been given enough bandwidth to develop as a couple. There’s no way they’re going to adequately resolve Methas and JJ in the final episode.

At this juncture, I’m mostly finding this show annoying. Which in itself is annoying, because I wanted to love it.

Why is it that Thailand, the land of the best food in the world, king of BLs, struggles so hard to produce the restaurant set BL of my dreams? I’m really pissed about this.

That said, the Methas & JJ stuff is killer. Loved JJ running away. So good. Plus the age old decision - love or money? 

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 2-3 of 12 - The issue was me and I've managed to get hold of this show again. The story within the story is so ridiculously badly written I'm going spare. I’m not sure if the outside show is not ALSO badly written. That said, I do love how the 3 writer friends are all shipping our leads. It’s VERY silly. Meanwhile, cohabitation trope is a go. 

I like the side couple too. Stern Daddy + lost puppy is a very cute dynamic, I hope we get more than just crumbs. I actually am enjoying this show now. Ep 3 kinda derailed into this weird chimera novel that they’re all writing together and I’m finding that bit the least interesting, but I adore the domestic components which I think may turn out to be TutorYim's strength (if they're allowed to lean into it). 

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - Man I hope this gets some kind of distribution at some point. It was a pain to find and watch. But I enjoyed it. The focus is more on the seme in Thailand’s version. Which I don’t mind since that's rare in BL, and it’s more August on my screen. It’s all round softer than China’s version but still feels very familiar. I know some fans are struggling with it, but not me.

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - I like that Sam’s crafty business espionage has paid off. Them teasing Sam & Yo really had me belly laughing. It was so funny.

Legitimate question. Would one put perfume on one’s cheeks in Thailand, as one does on wrist or sternum? Because of the sniff cheek thing? Scented face powders?

I do feel like with MosBank & SailubPon scorching up our screens, we’re being spoiled by some of Thailand‘s best high heat pairs at the moment.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 5 of 12 - It remains kind of sweet and cute. It's also calm and slow moving. Oddly it reminds me of La Cuisine in its style and execution (if not content). I’m enjoying it more than I thought I would.

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 7 of 12 - I don’t know. I’m getting bored.

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 10fin - Fort’s acting during the break-up was truly great. But I feel for Rak. It’s rough to learn that someone else is playing a long game with feelings while you were playing a short game with d**k.

Ultimately this is probably a solid 8/10 show but I’m mad I wasn’t madder at it, and I'm mad I was so bored throughout. So it gets a 7/10 and let us not speak of this again. I’d like to simply forget about it. Trash watch.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 1-2 of 10 - OMG a uni student who looks young and a... COP! GAH. The subversion and kink of it all. I had to go grey to get it and I hate everything about what I had to do. But ya know what? Fucking worth every single repeated crash-causing advertisement.

I love it. The grumpy lonely little student cook and the cheerful mature police officer. What a fabulous dynamic. Is the cook looking for a boyfriend or a Daddy, and do we care if it has the same result? It is filmed VERY manga style camp. I’m a little nervous about that, but this means it’s also very fluffy and so damn sweet. It made me squeak with the cute. I’m gutted this didn’t get distribution.

Ironic that Tawada Hideya is in a new BL while Sunspot is re-airing.

Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Tues Gaga) eps 3-4 of 8 - Ah, the gays are doubting the bisexual again. How familiar. I like how this one is paced and moving through time, even if the relationship seems to be going comparatively slowly by contrast. I love the way Sahashi is always looking at Natsume, even when they’re in conversation with someone else. Ah yearning. I think the conflict was kind of inevitable, given the two personalities of the protagonists, and I like that. (No manufactured angst here.) But I still hope they can repair the breach and I’m still interested. Frankly this is so classically Japan - I don’t know what story beats it’s following and I’m not entirely sure where it’s going, but I kinda like that unpredictability. Makes me think it could go into "must you, Japan?" territory but fingers crossed.

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - I'm enjoying it very much. I could do without the girl character. I know she’s more interesting than most (this is Japan after all), but she’s not really for me. It’s the complexity of the connection between the leads (and why they like each other) that’s being executed so brilliantly in this show (and in the manga, FYI). Both actors are so on point with their roles and the nuanced emotions required of these characters that every time it’s only them interacting I'm riveted. I could do without the rest of the cast tho.

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 1 of 8 - I have a confession to make, I’ve been watching this whole series as it goes along. But this is the pair I absolutely like the most. I’m not sure I would necessarily recommend any of the installments, and I’m not sure how this one is going to go, but I’m VERY invested in this particular couple. They are so pretty!!!! This is a true friends-to-lovers struggle. I like that a lot. (Reminds me of I Cannot Reach You but a different dynamic.) Did I mention how pretty they are? And we already know they gonna kiss well. I bet the uncut version is stellar.

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - It's no one's funeral, turns out! Reports are in - not only are there kisses but it ends happily with wedding plans. So I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. I'm enjoying it. Ya'll know I adored Chinese BL before censorship. It has a certain unhinged quality I very much apreciate (and is the reason I'm so tolerant of the Thai pulps) that I think will marry well with Wuxia's effervescent and ever-present tropes. Watch me suffer here.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 1-2 of 12 - About a singer with stage fright and his timid fan starring Charles (H4 the puppy one) and Michael Chang (the youngster in My Tooth Your Love), plus side couple featuring a Thai actor Jame (Koh in Gen Y) and Liu Min Ting (of Guardian fame). What a damn team. With their powers combined they are...

fine.

This is a fine BL. The fight scene was fun and I like the meet cute. I’m not sure about the chemistry of the leads, but I think they’ll probably do okay. I admit I’m struggling a bit with a singing and the music. Are you surprised? I think I like it enough, but I’m not wowed.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - Oh! Out of the blue attack kiss. What IS this show? I don’t get it at all. Bah. I guess they’re dating now. It’s… so odd...

It's airing but...

4 Minutes (Thai Netflix/Grey) - A rich boy at uni suddenly gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future. I have a source, but I've decided to hold off and binge if it ends okay, since it's only 8 eps. I depend upon y'all to tell me if it's safe.

8/16 The Last Time (Thai Fri YT) ? eps - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Again delayed? Not sure what's going on with this one but the continued push-backs do not bode well.

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer IS COMING IN SEPTEMBER!!!! (Yeah this is gonna sit here until then).

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming This Month!

8/22 The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) 12 eps - announced in 2023 this one has a high school set stepbrothers trope and is reputed to be high heat. From Taiwan! It's made for me. Based on a novel Mou Mou from the Your Name Engraved Herein folks, so it could go dark. Still, I'm very excited.

8/22 The Paradise of Thorns (Thai movie) theater release - Jeff Satur is back but this does not look like a BL (the gay lover's death is the inciting event). More in Goodbye Mother vein. Looks dark and dramatic. He opposite and extremely well known actor Toey Pongsakorn who has never done gay before.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

WHY IS HE SO FINE?

I truly belly laughed. Sam & Yo did not go in the direction I expected, but this scene alone made me not mind that they curtailed the suffering Sam was rightfully due. (SunsetXVibes)

Tall boyfriend armpit, anyone? (Monster Next Door)

The two extremes of BL in one show (Long Beans indeed).

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

[ladyluxury]

Recently, Zabel's full interview was released, generating mixed reactions, especially among Caryl fans. However, this interview didn’t affect me as much as it might have in the past. I think, over time, I’ve developed a kind of resilience to what they say. I've been through tough times, and I spent the last year working on accepting Caryl's relationship.

What I'm going to express here may not please everyone. A while ago, these words wouldn’t have been easy for me either, but I want to make it clear that my intention is not to hurt anyone, and I recognize that I don’t hold the truth.

For many years, we have hoped that Carol and Daryl would get involved in a romantic relationship. We were repeatedly teased with this possibility, and still are. However, this connection never materialized romantically, and it’s hard not to feel like we were used to generate profit. When I realized this, I felt like a complete fool because I dreamed about it, rooted for it, and believed in the promises that never came to fruition. Time and again, they used romantic tropes to catch our attention, but Caryl never became the power couple they could have been in The Walking Dead. It’s sad to admit, but it’s the reality, whether we like it or not.

Many suggest we should complain to AMC, but how many times have we already done that? How many times have we asked and begged for Caryl? We raised hashtags on Twitter, expressed our discontent with carzekiel and daleah, but did it help? If they were really listening to us, it would have already happened. When they don’t want it, there’s not much we can do. I know we try to keep hope alive when we see scenes with romantic undertones or when AMC posts something to spark our interest, but that’s an old TV trick. Just look at shows like "Law and Order" and "The 100," where fans went through the same thing.

Another important point is the attacks on Zabel. I’m not here to defend him, but the truth is, he had the courage to say what no one else did. Melissa and Norman may love Caryl, but have you ever thought that maybe they don’t want to see them together romantically? In interviews, Melissa and Norman say what will excite the fans, and maybe that’s even directed by AMC, but behind the scenes, it might be different. Honestly, I’ve been thinking about this for some time. I’ve gathered statements from Gimple, Angela, and now Zabel, and they all made it clear they talked with the actors. Once, Norman said he wasn’t interested, in Gimple’s words. Angela also mentioned that she talked with Norman and Melissa, and that they didn’t want to go down that path. Now, Zabel practically confirms it. Why do we ignore these signs so much?

For years, my interest in The Walking Dead was maintained by the desire to see Caryl become a couple and by my love for Melissa. I was considering watching the spin-off, not so much for Caryl, as I’ve been accepting for some time that they won’t become a couple, but for Melissa. However, I feel that nothing has changed, and I prefer not to get involved in this anymore. I wish all the success for Melissa and don’t want this series to fail. I’m being honest about this, but for me, the universe of The Walking Dead has come to an end.

[slytherinshua]

I would like to request something with Seokmin please :)) Maybe he and y/n are cooking together, watch movies and just have a nice relaxing evening? I'm trying to stay away from the jealousy trope haha (Although I still love it hahaha)

MOZZARELLA SWORD genre ➳ fluff. warnings ➳ none. pairing ➳ seokmin x fem!reader. wc ➳ 975. a/n ➳ thanks for requesting hannah!! i love writing domestic stuff with dokyeom :(

You were constantly reminded that you weren’t a Michelin star chef everytime you attempted to cook with Seokmin. He was just so naturally good in the kitchen, where you had no clue where to start most days. When Seokmin cooked alone, you were guaranteed to have a delicious meal. When you cooked alone, you were guaranteed to have every surface of the kitchen messy with ingredients, cutting board, and utensils, none of which you knew how to use properly. 

When Seokmin insisted that you cook together, it became a mix of star-quality chef and hopeless chaos. Seokmin would do most of the work while your job was to get the ingredients out. But no matter how many times you messed up while trying to help him in the kitchen, Seokmin never got angry or even tired of having to clean up your messes. He thought the activity of cooking together was so sweet and domestic.

“It makes us feel like a married couple.” He insisted one night months ago to cheer you up after you almost cried when you accidentally forgot the sugar in your muffins.

“Why don’t you just propose to me if you want to feel like a married couple?” You had asked back, tears welling in your eyes despite your ability to joke around with your boyfriend. He had laughed and wiped your tears and hugged you to him until you calmed down from your frustration.

Sometimes you got frustrated while cooking, and sometimes you were able to let Seokmin do most of the work and get half the credit regardless. Tonight, Seokmin was dead set on making pizza with you. He had already done most of the work making the pizza dough yesterday and letting it rise overnight. And there was no way you would be able to mess up spreading sauce, cheese, and toppings on the dough. So, of course, you agreed. Seokmin had made pizza for you when you first started dating before, and you knew how good his pizza crust was. 

“Can you grate the mozzarella while I shape the dough?” He instructed, passing you the big block of cheese and a grater. You nodded and started working on the task with a determined smile.

Seokmin always had a habit of singing while he cooked, and tonight he started singing some of his songs from his musical. You giggled as soon as he started singing Die Schatten Werden Laenger. 

He continued singing even though your giggles set off his own, “What?” He asked you in between words.

“I just thought of King Arthur making pizza.” You admitted.

Seokmin stopped singing, his giggles increasing, “Maybe he really liked Italian food-”

“Stop, you’re making the thought worse!” You complained, almost at the point of wheezing, “Imagine- Imagine him pulling a block of mozzarella out of the stone-”

Seokmin and you continued to build on your initial thought through neverending laughter as you constructed the pizza. Mozzarella in the stone turned into Excalibur being a sword made of cheese that would replenish Arthur’s health whenever he got injured. Then Seokmin joked that you were Guinevere if he was Arthur. But then you both remembered Guinevere’s love affair with Sir Lancelot and took back the previous statement. If anyone was loyal to Seokmin, it was you.

Eventually, you finished assembling the pizza and Seokmin put it into the oven and started cleaning up the kitchen. You smiled and stared at him as he washed the dishes, his sharp profile on display from where you sat. He started to hum again, this time staying clear of the Xcalibur soundtrack in favour of some of your favourite R&B tracks. 

“I can feel you staring at me, baby.” Seokmin said quietly, smiling a little as he rinsed another dish.

“Just admiring what’s mine. Is there anything wrong with that?” You asked, blushing a bit that he’d noticed you, but there wasn’t much to be embarrassed about, really. Your boyfriend was beautiful and he deserved to be admired just as you were doing.

“You always complain when I stare at you, though.” He mumbled.

“Because I feel nervous when you stare at me!” You said. You had told him this before, but you were pretty sure nothing would stop Seokmin’s love of looking at you. You loved it, but you also felt insecure if he had his eyes on you for too long.

“But I like looking at you. You’re so pretty.” You stayed silent as your cheeks grew red from his comment. “I made you blush, didn’t I?” He teased, not even needing to look at you to know that your cheeks were tinted pink.

“Maybe…” You sighed, fanning your face to cool it down. The timer for the oven went off and you excitedly opened it to check on the pizza. It looked beautiful. The crust was golden grown and the cheese was bubbly, the toppings perfectly browned from the heat of the oven. Your mouth was watering just looking at it. You took it out and put it on the stovetop to cool before slicing.

“Do you want to watch a movie? I want to cuddle with you.” You suggested, smelling the delicious pizza with your eyes closed. Seokmin wrapped his arms around your waist to hug you.

“A movie sounds good. Cuddling sounds even better.” He grinned and kissed your cheek.

“Sounds like we got a plan, then. I’ll get extra pillows ready.” You smiled, escaping your boyfriend’s arms momentarily to get the best cuddling setup ready. Impromptu home movie dates like this were your favourite. You couldn’t wipe the grin off of your face whenever Seokmin agreed to one. They definitely wouldn’t be something to go away even when you married him.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ svt taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz,, @yeonjuns-redhair,, @ddeonudepressions,, @hannahsophie0103,, @skz-minchan-enthusiast,, @shuabby1994

[yackers]

I have mixed feelings about the cheating situation. In one sense they’re teenagers and I think everyone in the situation had their reasons for doing things and reacting to the situation, but I really struggle with Jerome’s reaction to the reaction. He’s a kid and I don’t think he should be held accountable for shit he did at 17 for the rest of his life when it’s this minuscule of a problem, but there were multiple scenes where people made digs at him for playing two girls and he truly believed that it was alright. Yes he apologized I get that, but even towards the end of the season he makes a comment about how he didn’t mean to hurt them…I truly believe Jerome didn’t think he deserved repercussions for hurting Willow and Mara. I don’t like that. Do I think they went too far with the revenge plot? Yes. Cause I wish they would’ve sat down and talked. Mara and Jerome, imo, needed to have a long conversation about it. Not with Willow. Not with Joy. But just the two of them. Their relationship arc had been from s1. Jerome had that little crush on her that blossomed and it eventually led us to s3 and the cheating situation. Maybe it’s me not understanding how he cheated on her with Willow, who I adore, I’m just not understanding how those two had any sort of chemistry or connection, but I wanted him to explain his sudden drawback. Joy defending Jerome those times were valid but her in that damn bedroom saying she thought it was all about revenge. It’s like the entire house lacked brain cells that season. The miscommunication trope was wild. What i’m saying is I think the cheating trope was interesting to the development of the characters. I just really don’t think Jerome realized what he did was wrong. I love Jeroy. They’re my favorite ship of all time. I just can’t stand how Jara essentially ended and there was no sit down conversation being like “Hey, I hurt you. This isn’t about me liking Joy it’s about me breaking the heart of the girl who fell in love with me and who i pined after for two years” I just needed something. Those teenagers couldn’t talk.

I have a lot of thoughts so please click below

see I do completely get what you're saying I do, and it's not that I disagree with you so much as that's just not really how things work. throughout the whole show, characters hurt each other and do shitty things because it's full of overwhelmingly human characters, but they can't just sit and talk it all out for hours in therapy speak until everyone is 100% okay. that's not how television works, that's not even really how life works. I don't honestly see how jerome and mara sitting and talking out every one of their issues would make either of them feel better and not more mad each other and it wouldn't be good television. hell, who in life ever sits down with their ex who cheated on them and discusses why and how and all of their personal feelings about it, especially two seventeen year olds who dated less than a year. I do understand that it feels like he should apologise further but the damage was already done, mara was too angry to hear it and jerome didn't know himself well enough to articulate why. I also just can't really name many shows where any (unmarried, childless, outside of a therapy environment) couples sit down and discuss in detail the end of their relationship.

I do disagree with you saying that he didn't think he deserved repercussions. he quite literally finds out that the three of them wrote a play specifically to embarrass him in front of the entire year group and accepts it and directs it anyway and says that he just hopes it helps mara move on and feel better. he does even repeatedly try to apologise to mara. he lets her say horrible things about his dad without fighting back and he backs off of joy around her as to not upset her further, all things he never would've done pre being caught cheating. he tells the house that they all need to get over it only when they're all being silent and glaring at him at the breakfast table because he still has to live there and he can't have every single person in house mad at him forever.

in terms of how he could have gotten with willow and his 'sudden drawback from mara', I really do not mean this to sound rude but like did you watch it? when he and willow first kiss in detention, mara had broken up with him like at least a week ago. he tried to win her back over and over (with admittedly hollow gestures I'm not like validating his behaviour just stating the facts of what happened) and she ignored him. by the time he kisses willow in detention, he thinks he fucked up too bad and he's never getting mara back, and so he's rebounding. he doesn't really have tons of chemistry with willow, that's kinda the point, she's just there and she's sweet and she's into him and it's a lot less complicated. it's only after all this that mara approaches him in the kitchen and is like 'congrats we're back together' and by that point he's already moved on from her enough that he's not willing to give up willow because he doesn't like either of them that much by that point. and this is not me defending him but like if he'd told mara then and there that he'd kissed willow even though she barely gave him a chance to, it still would've crushed her, because unlike him she didn't think they were done, she was just holding off because of the sisterhood. the whole situation isn't black and white, he didn't wake up and say "I'm gonna have two girlfriends" and it's a mess and that's the whole point of it. I've gone over the other jara stuff before so I'm not gonna repeat myself but idk, it didn't happen the way you're making it sound like.

and lastly, about joy saying "I thought it was all about revenge", the whole point of that scene is that both girls are lashing out each other because they're both broken hearted. it was the wrong thing to say, but it was an impossibly difficult and insane situation. and up until that point, mara didn't do a whole lot of crying and being sad because she got angry and stayed that way. the part about the revenge plotline that makes it so interesting to watch and why I liked it is because it was always going to hurt everyone involved and it was always going to be everyone's fault. jerome was getting hurt either way, joy was always going to fall for him, which was a betrayal to mara, but it was also an insane thing for mara to ask her to do in the first place. it blows up in everyone's faces badly, but both girls both eventually realise that it's okay that they're both upset and that it all only happened because of some incredibly poor decision making and that's that. the ending with mara deciding to put her friend's happiness above her anger is the most important lesson of all of it. also:

he does try to sincerely apologise for all of it one last time and she shakes her head with a smile and tells him that it's okay. the whole point of mara's arc is that she doesn't need that from him anymore, she's learning to deal with her feelings herself and know her own worth even when others don't, which is what she's been needing to learn to do the whole show.

tldr: I understand that cheating is a difficult topic that people have a lot of thoughts about and I respect that, but real life isn't therapy and what a lot of your takes tell me is that either you didn't really pay attention during their storyline or that it's been a long time since you watched it

[takaraphoenix]

Shadow and Bone: Season 2 Darklina Review

Okay, one more SaB season 2 review, this one very specifically only about Darklina. Felt wrong to put it into the main review because it would have taken like two third of the review probably.

I’ve never made a ship-specific review for a show before, but I have so many thoughts about them after this season, so here we go.

This ship just makes me feel unhinged to a degree I am not used to? I honestly think I usually feel pretty... normal... about my ships? Even when I love them a lot and they evoke strong feelings in me, but something about Darklina is incomprehensible to me.

Part of it, clearly, is the incredible amount of chemistry between their actors. I mean, that’s just off the charts, the eye-fuckery between them in delicious, they put so much passion into their scenes, it’s amazing. Not just their romantic scenes in season 1, but also their scenes in season 2. Even their enemy scenes are filled to the brim with so much raw passion.

But it’s also the writing. Which I find confusing because I’ve heard it, repeatedly, that the author apparently doesn’t even... like... Aleksander...? Or the ship? And I’m... Look, there is the very simple nature of hero/villain ships in that they will always happen on account of people wanting to ship heroes and villains, regardless of how much you want to discourage them.

But the writing on this doesn’t discourage it, it encourages it to levels that I’ve rarely seen. I mean, they crammed legitimate soulmate tropes into this show. Things happened these season that I have used in fanfiction as “soulmate AU” plotlines.They had shared dreams. Not even just shared dreams, but they could talk to each other in these shared dream spaces.

The whole “two sides of the same coin” and “the light and the darkness” and the sun and moon symbolism is the obvious one, it’s wildly beloved, we’ve seen it in season 1 already. It’s catnip for villain/hero ships.

But now they added literal soulmate AU tropes into the mix and I’m not supposed to be madly deeply into this...? I don’t really know how that’s thought through.

Alina’s wanted poster was actual fanart of Darklina. She was wanted for fanfiction plot. I would actually like to read that alternate timeline she was wanted for. That was a great pitch. I’ve seen someone say that was supposed to mock Darklina shippers? I’m sorry? There was art of my ship in canon and the entire country thought they were some badass power couple why was I supposed to feel mocked by that? That evoked a feeling of validation and satisfaction in me...?

I’ll be honest, I was very afraid of season 2 for a multitude of reasons and one of them was Darklina. I loved them in season 1, when they actually got together, but knowing the writer doesn’t like the ship, knowing they wanted to actively discourage shippers, and knowing what other shows/movies like to do when a hero and villain fully find themselves on opposing sides, I really dreaded where season 2 would find Aleksander and Alina.

Part of me feared that they’d make Alina the doe-eyed hero; a very common trope, especially when there are canonical feelings - of any variety - between the hero and the villain is that the hero very desperately and naively tries to reason with the villain and tries to redeem them. And, let’s be real, it would not have been unreasonable to suspect so because with literally everybody else Alina displays a disturbing amount of naivety and forgiveness. Every single person who has backstabbed, betrayed and manipulated her, she has forgiven and let close again without any hesitation.

Anyway, that’s just a dynamic I greatly dislike, it’s not my cup of tea. So I was very pleasantly surprised by the way it went - for one, by just how completely Alina turned against Aleksander, it seemed very extreme especially considering her over-eagerness to forgive virtually everyone else, but also because I really enjoyed it. I didn’t expect that. I mean, I ship them, why would I enjoy them opposing each other this much?

Again, the incredible chemistry between their actors really played into it. Every confrontation between them was so charged it was so intense to watch. There was something so very overwhelming about Jessie and how... powerful she was, when she held her head high against Aleksander. True power couple vibes.

Baghra was also a big part of delivering the ship this season, making Alina confront just how deep the bond between them runs? It just seems like such a choice to put his mom on her side and to have his mom make Alina consider this deep soul connection that she shares with Aleksander. Once again, you write it like that and I’m not supposed to sell my soul to this ship, how?

It was also incredible to me just how much the writers made Mal look like a rebound. Going into this season, I was aware that book canon dictates Mal and Alina would become a couple. But I kind of expected there to be... a build up...? I was bracing myself for them to spend season 2 building up a romance, but they just right away started with them making out. I’m sorry, how can I take this serious as a relationship, she’s been with Aleksander like, what, a week ago? And now she’s making out with Mal?

And the first time she uses the term “love” to describe what’s going on between her and Mal isn’t when she’s with Mal, it’s when she’s with Aleksander, in the dreamspace. And I’m not supposed to take that as her trying to make him jealous?

All I could see was a cheap rebound and I honestly felt bad for the guy. She’s literally standing in a shared mindspace with the man she has a deep soul-connection to, teasing him and using Mal to make him jealous. Unhinged behavior. Excellent. I love it.

Even the corruption arc for Alina!! Because one of the things that get me about Darklina is that I really, truly, genuinely under no circumstances would want a redemption arc for Aleksander - and here I’m cutting a rant that is going to be its own plot probably - I would much rather have a corruption arc for Alina.

Sure, Aleksander died. And I absolutely could have done without that. But... his last act before dying was trying to save her life and that was. Damn. That hit me hard. And then he still died by her hand. And that also hit me hard. But I even kind of liked that? In a poetic sense?

And then the corruption fully kicked in at the end, Alina wields shadows and smiles. Unclear if she smiles because she enjoyed using shadows, or because she enjoyed killing, or because she enjoyed the powers. Maybe all three.

Either way, Baghra talked so much about Morozovas and resurrection and now Alina has these powers and seems to like them and it seems reasonable to assume Alina could or might resurrect Aleksander with them.

Whether or not she does that though, once again I ask, how do you give her his powers, how do you keep condemning him for killing people and then you give her his powers and you make her smile after using these powers to kill someone - and you still don’t want me to ship this? Really?

This ship is so... poetic and intense and it makes me feel so much and I truly can’t comprehend that the writers actively want viewers not to feel that way about this ship because damn, they’re really bad as writers if this is them writing with the intention of “this ship bad :/ these two Not Good Romantic Partners :/”. You can’t pack a dynamic full with so much symbolism, tension and so many romantic tropes and expect people to not be into it.

[dangertoozmanykids101]

Which comes first: The Science or The Fiction?

You gotta love when fiction ignites innovation. Doesn't The Original Star Trek Series get credit for several technological advances inspired by the show?

It's just as exciting when modern day scientific breakthroughs send your brain reeling with more creative juice than a bunny farm in the spring time.

BRING ON THE PLOT BUNNIES!

Prompt time: Look what I came across today.

That's right. Let's look at the scientific breakthrough where plastic artificial wombs are saving premature lambs. Using this to help premature human babies is an exciting hope and dream that's not as far off today as it was yesterday. Wow! Right?

NOW LET'S IMAGINE FURTHER.

Spring will be coming soon for the Northern Hemisphere, so let's get hopping and talk about making babies!

Then Autumn is just around the corner in the Southern Hemisphere, right? Are ya ready to start harvesting all those seeds and wild oats sowed several months ago?

I love the way Kaila Hale-Stern's brain works when presented with scientific news as this. Quoting the article I linked to above:

"The possibilities and ramifications therein are endless in terms of reproductive rights battles, infertility, surrogacy, maternal death rates, adoption—I could go on pretty much forever. If you could grow your baby in an artificial environment under ideal circumstances, would women choose to give birth naturally anymore? Would this become another province of the wealthy, already a concern in countries where surrogacy “farms” are the rise and childbirth is being “outsourced”? Would there come to be a cultural divide and battles between “old-fashioned” vs. “artificial” births? So many questions. BRB I’m pitching this TV show to Syfy."

Fun, right? This could be fascinating! NOW...

KEEP GOING. MORE BUNNIES!

I would LOVE to know what any of y'all might come up with. In fact I dare you to read this article and NOT have at least a couple baby plot bunnies start thumping around in your head begging for attention.

Dramatic, heartwarming, tear-jerking, sad, stressful, infuriating, inspiring, exciting, stimulating, arousing, kinky, scary, cheery, funny, dark, soft dark, suspenseful, thriller, terrifying, horrific, encouraging, adorable, fluffy.... ANY genre! ANY trope! ANY tone. ANY mood. ANY flavor.

Yep, one of the hops my plot bunnies did was wondering about an adult size womb. This sent my mind in the direction of sensory deprivation chambers with nutrient exchange for long term stasis. For Short-term or Long-term confinement. Latex and rubber kinks come to mind, of course. There are always plenty of full bodysuit images on the internet in a full range of colors. But don't mind me. Hope this didn't lose people. I'm just trying to illustrate possible extremes of the many many ideas some of y'all might come up with. There are wild kinks out there.

But also consider life support systems for space travel, storage, shipping, cloning, boy-in-a-bubble scenarios. Maybe an alternative to cryogenic storage. Matrix type of tropes. Genetic wars. A/B/O political conflicts or extinction prevention solutions. Medical drama, mad max, apocalyptic ramifications, utopian, dystopian, alien, modern day, futuristic, victorian medical steampunk innovations, mad scientist experimentations, fantastic fantasy witchcraft mixed with modern medicine, collector preservation specimens, genetic experimentations or manipulation. Political issues, religious issues, ethical issues, moral issues, big picture discussions, individual POV stories. Fertility problems. Society norms. Societal evolution. Breeding kink. Family starting. Genetic survival.

I think I'm starting to repeat myself. Oops.

@nildespirandum @caffiend-queen @latent-thoughts @redfoxwritesstuff @so-easy-to-love-me @muddyorbsblr @lokisgoodgirl @xorpsbane @nonsensicalobsessions @mooncat163 @frostbitten-written @boredbrooder @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay @jtargaryen18 @myoxisbroken @imanuglywombat

I just tagged a handful of friends I thought might find this interesting or even Inspiring. Or maybe they'll just get a kick out of the random stuff I post? Give me a holler if you'd rather I not tag you, or if you'd like me to tag you. (I'm not too organized, but I can try.)

[vertigovampires]

So small update I have a total of 10 pages of the book so far and a working title about 13 more pages to go before first chapter is finished honestly super proud had to put writing on pulse while I went to my adventure game but I’m back and on top of keeping the pages flowing here a little snippet of one of my favorite parts in the prologue!!

———

I knelt down clawing at stones and digging through the hot ash that burned my hands, my vision started to blur was the heat that intense that it stung my eyes, or was just crying.

———

It’s not much but thought a little teaser would be fun to share as I work on this. So I wanted to give a little bit of context on where the book that I’m working on, is inspired from and how much information I can dive into this .

So about two-ish years ago my partner and I started doing a talk PG not game canon but while we were playing curse of strahd table top over two years, I built a whole world, history names of different parts, and a world map along with multiple characters, side characters, and among other things A shit ton of lore. I have enough information that I feel like I can write a decent fanfiction. I used to be a big fan fiction reader but always felt like the books kind of felt quick unrealistic to an extent to a point where it felt rushed there’s nothing wrong with that but I wanted to write some thing that was a slow burn. Kind of like Dracula minus in journal entries because let’s be honest that’s really hard to get through especially in this day and age.

I’m pulling from some old fashion, vampiric tropes along with trying to write fantasy for the minority without shoving it in everyone’s faces in a sense what I mean is the protagonist I based off of my own background of my own heritage I think that’s the only time I’m gonna actually mention it because I don’t want it to be some quick grab for people More of a Hey we’re here there’s a short description in the beginning of the book of the protagonist also known as Annalise looks like along with the cast of people who are all mixed about. I’m doing my best to base Strahd and other people who already written as they are. I will not be changing anything about them their luxe I may slightly pull from Romanian history and clothing accuracy, but nothing more.

Apart from that, I’ve always enjoyed fantasy in horror along with D&D and RPG tabletop games.

And pulling a lot of inspiration from many books, movies in DND. I want to do my best but I’m not expecting it to be perfect as this is my first time writing some thing this long I do have dyslexia, so I am asking a couple people to help me correct grammar and spelling. I’m currently using text to speech whilst typing this out on my phone.

It’s a big block to read if you read it through. Thanks so much I’ll be dropping more updates as time goes on.🖤🖤🖤⚔️⚔️⚔️🦇🦇🦇

Love y’all hope you stick with me while I work on this🖤

[teiasviago]

I love your responses so much lol, I'm really enjoying this opinions exchange tbh.

as for me i have several thoughts actually.

i think that when it comes to pen & el people have this sadly common weird black & white mentality, the virgin and the whore typa thing, and that completely ruins the purpose of the show.

yes, el was selfish when it came to dismissing other womens conceptions of marriage because she can afford being a spinster, and she was selfish in running away to be close with a man without a chaperone knowing her family was in a scandal and she was being threatened by the queen.

yes, pen was inconsiderate when it came to publicly announcing marinas pregnancy, writing that way about el and even not telling her about whitesledown.

but they're still very young and they clearly are very fond of each other, they were literally staring at each other longingly all season 3. & it's the fact that characters like anthony (who i love btw) are afforded grace and understanding but with female characters it's always the opposite.

as for cressida, i still kinda dislike her character especially because of the bully redemption trope the fandom is pulling even saying she's better than pen. i feel sympathy for her but I don't want her to end up with a bridgerton, whether it's ben or eloise (not that I think it's going to happen but still). I'm so glad she isn't sophie and so glad she's apparently not one of the stepsisters either, but it looks like she is returning so.. (https://www.thewrap.com/bridgerton-season-4-cast-couple-release/)

AS FOR S4

I would really like for them to lean into korean sophie (even tho idk how they would justify it but we'll see). like many people, I would love for her silver dress to be an hanbok or at least mixed with korean elements, flashbacks of her mom and grandma (which were one of the biggest losses of the book) and perhaps a line or two about her knowing korean.

this is very interesting because according to the casting call she is fully east asian, so both her parents are and it looks like araminta and the sisters will be too. I wonder if they'll be korean too or maybe japanese/chinese since they're not related to sophie so they could be whatever.

I desperately want to see posy and sophie being friends (and possibly for someone chubby to play posy) because we really need more female friendships in bridgerton. I think s4 is the perfect opposite since they've introduced sophie and michaela.

what i hope for is a kate/sophie friendship where kate sort of mentors her and helps her with her feelings for benedict. maybe with anthony doing the same with benedict himself. I wouldn't be opposed to polin helping too since the show seems to have set a precedent of leads passing the torch and helping the next ( see; daphne with anthony in S2, and kanthony with colin in S3).

other female friendships i feel like are NECESSARY are the ones eloise should form with sophie and michaela. being friends with a low class woman and a lesbian would really help the process she already started of seeing marriage in another light, since marriage is something both sophie and michaela want but can't have, and that would be a perfect setup for her season.

then, I want them to really tone down the mistress thing, which tbf looks like they're already doing if that line about ben offering his heart to her is a hint. I think they could have him offer her to be his lover (as in him not marrying and staying a bachelor and secretly seeing her). it would make it better and still keep the element of sophie not accepting because she wants to live her love story without shame and her children to be recognized.

and that may be an unpopular opinion, but I don't want them to have sex until the very end (think kanthony) because i feel it would parallel all the previous seasons where ben just threw himself into sex and had everyone at his feet. and a scene a la kanthony (again lol) of him having that death stare as he watches another man flirt with sophie would be perfect. something poetic about the rakest Brothers desperately crying at the idea of their girls potentially choosing another man.

as for the NEXT SEASONS.

there's so much i wanna talk about.

I'm actually kinda sad that sophie is the last casting announcement for a good while and we'll have to wait years for gareth and lucy.

i know they'll not disappoint with gareth, even if the hopes of sapphic hyareth seem lost now since they already did a controversial sapphic genderbent and the other queer character is not having a queer endgame so.

as for lucy I suppose that's a bit hypocritical of me but i want her to stay a woman, i sort of imagined grucy (horrible ship name btw you're right) like a mini kanthony because of the way kanthony is impactful to their story (and now with the show we would get a wedding scene parallel lol) and so i imagined lucy as a south asian woman (rebecca ablack is my specific imagine of her rn) even tho I'm not sure I'll be likely because they already casted two main asian characters. i just think a lot of subtle details in her story would be lost if she was a man, that's it.

for s5 I'm imagining they'd have to recreate a max/franny dynamic (search for clips of "the nanny" trust me) like someone already suggested. and i love your idea of eloise running away by herself, it's much better, but they will have to change a lot of things to make the story suitable to the show. I actually think this is going to be the hardest season to adapt. don't have much requests/ thoughts rn.

for s6 my biggest wish is for michaela to be a singer because it would make franchaelas dynamic sparkle. imagine a parallel of franchaela (maybe during the years in India) of fran playing the piano while michaela sings (both yearning but can't see each other)

I want them to show how michaela really helps francesca get out of her comfort zone. in that link I sent you in this ask Jess mentioned francesca reflecting on passion next season amd that will of course be a central theme of the season.

ALSO I feel like with two female leads the opportunities with gowns and subtle hints in the dresses are HUGE. and i need michaela in red, especially burgundy since she's supposed to represent passion.

and i feel like them setting violet up (with lady D's brother of all people) is intentional for s6/7. like I definitely see s6 violet encouraging francesca to love again and using marcus as an example.

if, like you said, hyacinth debuts in s6 I'd love for them to sneak in hermione and lucy too, just subtle hints like them being introduced to the queen at the palace scene, mentioned in penelopes papers and being seen with other debutantes.

for S7 I need them to add a little drama because the book is a little too annoying and I'd like for hyacinth to be fluent in Italian because I never liked her somewhat speaking half in the book (if they do that plot)

people talked about nicky mondrich possibly becoming her love interest but not endgame, and I would not be opposed to him being her theo. they need to show us lady d and hy being close, they've already robbed us the penelope/ lady d dynamic.

also if they do introduce lucy and hermione in s6 they could even have them (especially lucy) in a few scenes with hyacinth in S7 so they can set up S8.

and once again more female friendships would be nice since they erased felicity from the show and hyacinth looks like she'd love being friends with other debutantes, especially since greg will have his own friends too by then and all of her sisters will be married.

that way they could have people (especially hy kate & anthony) favor lucy so that when greg shows interest in hermione the family reacts like when colin got engaged to marina and maybe we would have a parallel of hyacinth welcoming lucy like she did with penelope in S3.

and finally S8, if they do give me my south asian lucy I'll be soo happy. i think they should cut the plot of hermione being in love w the secretary because it's useless and focusing on her loving lucys brother the whole times, which leaves lucy sorry for gregory while he suddenly does not gaf because he wants lucy. perhaps hy could even try to help instead of being hostile towards her.

and, they'd need to tone down his story too, but the rest is okay.

also i need you to know that franchaela/hyareth & kanthony/grucy are very real the thethered to me and I can elaborate (maybe in the next ask because this is huge)

can't wait to hear your thoughts and thank you for the safe space to rant again!

You’re absolutely right about Eloise, Pen, and Marina being young. That’s at the core of Eloise and Colin’s stories in the show: they’re young and so while they’re fully realized characters, they need to grow up in order to be able to accurately identify what exactly they want out of life and do the necessary inner work to achieve that. Edwina has a similar story in season two: in the end she’s able to come into her own knowing that she can make her own choices for her life; she doesn’t need Kate to be her advisor and Kate doesn’t need to be Edwina’s advisor. Kate, Anthony, and Marina are also similar because they were thrust into roles with large responsibilities at young ages before they could properly learn how to approach situations with true maturity and dignity. It’s all about the contrasts! But they all start off immature in some way.

I adore Cressida as a character because she’s just so compelling to me. I was going to say that her being somewhat nicer this season is a sign of her growing maturity but that’s not true and is also giving her too much credit. It’s only because she’s desperate for Eloise’s companionship that she changes her behavior towards Pen, but even then, she still acts petty many times over. I think it’s what Jessica Madsen said: She can’t really defend herself from her father’s abuse so she bullies her peers to give herself some power to wield. Her mother does the same thing by writing horribly about the Bridgertons in Cressida’s issue of Whistledown. I’m very interested in seeing where the writers decide to take her story!

Sophie doesn’t have much in the way of a character arc in An Offer from a Gentleman, at least not one that’s substantial enough for the show. I’d love (well, I’d probably cry, but you know what I mean) for her status as a bastard to mean that she lost out on the ability to learn about/be immersed in her family’s culture and so part of Benedict insisting that she deserves more is that his confidence in her inspires her to take control of her life and learn about the culture she lost out on. Although, if they were going to do that, the casting call couldn’t be for just any East Asian woman. But I also can’t imagine them not revamping Sophie’s arc considering that they decided to do that for Kate, Eloise, and Penelope.

I also want to see all the women of the show being friends, really. I really hope that we get some more of Lady Danbury’s married ladies game nights. I especially want to see Penelope and Kate being friends and then jointly advise Sophie. I also want Violet giving Sophie advice because she works for the Bridgertons and spent a lot of time with them in the book, so I think it would be cool to see her advise the love interest, too. Eloise seems to be very close with Michaela (they’re holding hands in the first epilogue!) by the time they’re leaving for Kilmartin, so I very much hope that we get to see their friendship, especially since it could be used as a bit of a contrast for Francesca and Michaela’s relationship—even if that contrast only really appears later in season six once Frannie starts really falling for Michaela.

I want the mistress offer to be toned down, too, and that has been the set up in these first three seasons. In the book, Benedict is still very much required to marry eventually by society’s rules for upper class men, but in the show he’s contrasted against Anthony in that. Where Anthony is like “if I’m the head of this family, I need to act like it and take a wife for the future of the viscountcy” but Benedict really doesn’t feel that pressure from society at large. Benedict is very much of age to marry, but all the ladies flock to Colin in season three, who is still very young, and has also conveyed that he’s not truly up for grabs. I think Benedict can ask Sophie to be his lover and say that they might not be able to be married because of their differences in class, but they could have a comfortable life together where she would be his wife in everything but name. And then Sophie tells him to GTFOH with his nonsense because of her strict opposition to bearing bastards.

And you know, for a jealous Bridgerton leading man moment, Footman John is a fan favorite. Maybe he and Sophie become friends and Benedict is like, Now who the hell is THIS GUY???? Meanwhile they’re literally besties because Footman John has dealt with Eloise’s chaos and Sophie’s dealt with Hyacinth’s. (I hope she’s Hyacinth’s lady’s maid since we already know that Eloise has a specific lady’s maid.) I also don’t want Benedict and Sophie to have sex until the end because I really didn’t like that she was very adamant about not having bastards and then is just like, “Oh, well,” afterwards. Like, girl????????? They could always do other sex acts and have steamy makeout sessions and then the actual PIV sex is left for once they’ve agreed to get married/are off on honeymoon at My Cottage.

I’m also sad we won’t be getting lead casting announcements, but it’ll still be exciting to get ones for the secondary characters!

Now that I’ve finished On the Way to the Wedding, I finally feel like I can approach my thoughts on Greg & Lucy’s story fully and big changes for s4 onwards without restraining myself. I do appreciate the nuances and the details that would be lost if Lucy were a man, but I also come at the situation from the perspective of answering this essential screenwriting question: What makes for the most meaningful story? The most meaningful is the most interesting story, too. Changing Lucy to Lucas would preserve the main beats of the story: Richard and Hermione still marry, Lucas is still required to marry Haselby (the genders are just swapped). Lucas could still very much be a rule-follower and care about not ruining Richard and Hermione’s new life together. Besides, the whole thing of Gregory more or less kidnapping Lucy isn’t going to be in the show regardless.

Overall, I feel that telling a story about two queer men falling in love is more important than telling another straight story in Bridgerton, you know? I feel like it would be weird to have this opportunity and not take it. The biggest change would obviously be Gregory’s infatuation with Hermione, but I think with his season likely going last, it would be fun to take the opportunity to draw parallels and differences between him and ABC. Gregory’s waiting for that spark, but it’s not happening. So, like Anthony, he decides to step into the light and see what happens, setting his cap at Hermione because she seems like a good candidate. He’s charming like Colin so then, like Benedict, he’s able to be casual about his pursuit of Hermione.

I also think the show benefits from what friendships we do see and would benefit from more of them, especially friendships between men and women, considering that the only one we have is Colin and Pen—and they’re one of the main romances of the series. So then we would get Gregory and Hermione’s friendship, which Gregory mistakes for a sign that they’re extremely compatible because Violet’s always saying to marry your bestie and that obviously worked out for Colin, so it should work out for him, too. And then we would also have Lucas and Hermione’s friendship.

We already saw Pen be completely ignored by suitors in favor of Eloise, so I don’t think we need to preserve that dynamic with Lucy and Hermione. I also think Richard should still be the eldest and therefore the earl, so then being younger, untitled brothers is something that Lucas and Gregory have in common. At this point, I have so many wonderful things to say about genderbent Lucy and I don’t want to go back, lol.

I think s5 will also be the hardest to do but they started laying the foundation for it in s1, so I believe that it will be executed very well, just like every other season. I also think that a lot of groundwork will be laid in s4, especially with Marina’s death. I think she’ll die in s4 and since it’s Benophie season, it’s not necessary to make it a huge thing for the whole season. So then if they want to do flashbacks to that day to establish how that affects Phillip in s5, they can take a lot of artistic license with it to get around the fact that Ruby Barker is done with the show. Plus, it would be way more interesting to have Marina’s death be more about Pen in s4 before Phillip in s5 because obviously Pen will feel extremely guilty. And then Colin will take what Marina said to him in s2 to comfort Pen because, ultimately, the situation was going to turn out horribly no matter what and letting Colin marry her likely wouldn’t have prevented her death.

I love your idea of Michaela being a singer! Especially because it seems that they’re setting Eloise up to be Michaela’s friend and confidante instead of Colin due to the genderswap. But them having singing in common would be a great way for Colin and Michaela to bond. Now I want them to sing a song together!

I also think it would be really funny if Eloise acts as a sort of buffer between Frannie and Michaela and then she’s like, “Oh, man, again? Why do all my friends fall in love with my siblings!?” I’m also really excited to see Michaela and John’s dynamic! In what little we did see, they’re so different but John is so comfortable around her. I’d love to see Frannie have a similar dynamic with Michaela, where she sort of pushes them both to be more bold and outgoing, at least in terms of expressing themselves. I can’t remember where I’ve expressed this before but I really want Violet to marry Marcus. Like, she’s been holding onto the Bridgerton name for so long, I think it would be interesting to see her grapple with feeling like she’d be losing something fundamental by giving up Bridgerton as her surname.

I’d love to see Hermione and Lucy ahead of Gregory’s season because it was just awkward for them not to be out in society. Like it was gross enough for Edwina to only be seventeen, I think having Hermione and Lucy not be fresh debutantes would be fantastic. (Also, and this doesn’t fit here, but since Hermione can’t dance, that makes s8 a really great opportunity to show off most of the previous couples dancing since if they do genderbend Lucy, then Gregory and Lucas can’t really dance, either.)

I think Hyacinth can just be fluent, too, since the distinction between her being fluent and not being fluent is meaningless as it matters to the plot. Besides, being pretty fluent in Italian doesn’t mean it wouldn’t take her a good amount of time to read through the journals. I also think that part of what made Hyacinth’s book a bit of a bore is the lack of other Bridgertons, which I feel is true of a lot of the books. As they get married, we see them together less and less, and that not happening in the show is something I very much hope is achieved. Also, going back to Gregory’s book, I like your suggestion of Hermione and Lucy sharing some scenes with Hyacinth. I’m still attached to the idea of Hyacinth becoming friends with Daisy Mondrich, especially if she comes out in season eight instead of Hermione (and Lucy) coming out then.

I wouldn’t mind Nicky Mondrich being a non-endgame love interest for Hyacinth. She’s someone he’s friends with, she’s a lady out in society with a good reputation (when this would occur), and she would make a good baroness in his eyes. But I also would love it if it happens in Hyacinth’s season as a tangible example of someone that Gareth could lose Hyacinth to, as Gareth’s father/uncle (lol) constantly taunts him with. And then Lady Danbury is torn between the matches because she wants to support them both.

Also, I think it’s a bit much to say that we’ve been robbed of Penelope and Lady Danbury’s friendship when it seems pretty clear to me that it’s simply been saved for future seasons of the show. Going forward, as Lady D mentored Alice Mondrich in s3, she’ll mentor Pen in s4 as she finds her balance between writing the column, her marriage with Colin, spending time with their family, and being a mother.

I am really interested to see how everyone will react to Francesca and Michaela because that would set up how they’d react to Gregory getting with Lucas. But if they don’t genderbend Lucy, I’d love to have that comedic element where it’s similar to Daphne’s assumption that Kate was Edwina by Anthony’s reaction. Gregory never gets engaged to Hermione so I don’t think it’s as similar to Colin’s situation with Marina.

I agree that Hermione being in love with the secretary shouldn’t be included in the show because building up her relationship with Richard in the background is a much better way to spend that time. And then they’re a contrast to Colin and Penelope where Richard and Lucy have been in love with each other for a long time and are aware of each other’s feelings, but Richard’s simply a little shy and not very forward with his affection.

I know I took forever to answer this but my classes are ramping up as my Bridgerton fixation is beginning to wane (as the URL change is evidence of). And as much as I’d love to keep chatting about meta for this show because it’s so fun, I can’t guarantee that I’ll have the time to answer long ones anymore. But I’ve had such a great time!

[littlealeta]

Adventures of Tom Thumb and Thumbelina Review

Oh boy, where do I start?

So, this random movie from my childhood that nobody talks about just popped in my head one day and to be fair, I always thought this film was a mixed bag. I was a little too old for it at the time and I knew it had some charm to it and it was entertaining in some spots, but a lot of parts were just frustrating and easy to make fun of. But I never understood why it rubbed me the wrong way besides the animation. So, let's take a deep dive into this obscure movie, shall we? But, before I talk about the negatives, I do want to say one wholly positive thing about the film. The voice acting is the real highlight. That's it, I guess.

Story

I'm tired of running....

All I can say is... it left a lot to be desired. Lazy, rushed, and undercooked. It has potential, don't get me wrong. It's a refreshing take to have Thumbelina being abused and taken advantage of for her size, but they don't do anything with that concept after the beginning. I also don't understand why they had her be born in a little people village instead of just having her be born in the flower like in the story and then kidnapped. It just feels pointless. Hell, a lot of scenes in this movie is pointless.

Look, I'm not a scientist or expert on physics or whatever but I don't think that boat should be going backwards after it spent all that time going forwards.

I would've liked to see Thumbelina run into similar obstacles she has had her whole life throughout the story of being taken advantage of, studied, experimented on, and abused. Instead we just get human trafficking, like you might as well just go all ham if you're gonna have shit like that in there. It would've at least made the emotional core more powerful.

The action scenes are anticlimatic and full of deus ex machinas and surpise motherfuckers and conveniently shaped lamps. It's like the story doesn't know what it wants to be. One moment it's dark and disturbing as shit and then the next, it's more diabetic than many Disney films.

And Tom Thumb's story is just... I got nothing. I will explain more in the character section, but there's literally nothing interesting about his story because he's more of the deuteragonist to Thumbelina's protagonist, which is not an excuse but whatever.

As a couple, these two have little chemistry. They are the generic enemies to lovers trope and are only drawn together due to their similar lives, except Tom Thumb mostly grew up happy. The reason for their conflict in the first place made no fucking sense. The movie just wanted an excuse to have conflict and that's it. And then all of a sudden, they are now everything to each other, despite fighting 5 minutes ago. There's so many inconsistencies to this movie, it's insane, and I will explain more in the character section. If you really wanted to have conflict between them, maybe develop their (at least Tom Thumb's) personalities more? Maybe his optimism, cheerfulness and naivete clashes with Thumbelina's cynicism, pessimism, and depression. And through their journey, they learn and grow together and learn to help each other overcome their weaknesses. Because the film really doesn't have much character development and whatever little development they do have is pretty rushed.

And wtf was wrong with the script in this film? It looks like it didn't even get past the first or second drafts. There's wording in there like "you irrigate me" that sound like typos, it has all the things a script shouldn't have while also having the skeletons of a good movie. They even broke the show don't tell rule near the end where Thumbelina starts monologuing about how hellish her life was and that she gets to make her own decisions and then points out the whole mother like daughter bs like stfu. WE ALREADY KNOW THIS MOVIE! And WHO TF IS GOING TO CARE THAT A YOUNG ADULT WANTS TO MAKE HER OWN DECISIONS? And then the movie starts convoluting itself by revealing that Tom Thumb was arranged to marry Thumbelina all along (I thought this was a simple kids film?). Of all the writing mistakes this movie has, I thought it would have the decency to avoid those shits.

Most of the jokes are more contrived than funny, even one involves a poop joke.

Characters

None of them are anything special, to be honest. But I will start with Thumbelina.

She has all the makings of a great character. She’s strong and compelling, but she’s also a very flawed character with a lot of vulnerability. If you know me, you would know that these kind of characters are right up my alley. Spike Spiegel, Rick Sanchez, Shadow the Hedgehog, the There is No Game guy, those are all characters that have trust issues and hate people at first but their hatred belies a sense of loneliness and sadness which they all overcome once you break down their barriers. So, what went wrong here? Well, it’s the fact that Thumbelina doesn’t really have any significant growth regarding that. She doesn’t even seem to go through any trials that tests those weaknesses in order for her to grow. She meets Tom Thumb literally 30 minutes into the film, they fight a bit but a minute later, they fall in love. I also don’t think that they handled the depth of her character well.

Then why are you smiling?

She’s actually kind of a bitch, she bitches about losing some grass game despite her being too small and weak to win whatever the fuck it was, she yells at a frog, she yells at the lady bugs who ask her who she is and Tom Thumb, who she just met and has done nothing to her and she runs away from him, and then suddenly attacks and insults his height. So, does Thumbelina want to find another tiny person like her or not? Now, I do think these kind of interactions could be written well, but something is missing here. It feels out of left field. I could probably buy this a bit more if Thumbelina was abused by everyone all her life, but she had friends, so why was she so hostile to these characters for no reason?

Then stop looking at him funny!

She's also a victim of the constant pointlessness and inconsistences of the film so one minute, she Princess Peaches the mole and then the next, she's calling Tom Thumb a thing despite him being the EXACT same species SHE is and ALSO yells at the ladybugs about it earlier in the film.

All in all, she’s alright, she’s definitely the most developed and best character here, but I think they could’ve done better to make her more likeable and consistent.

Tom Thumb

Two-dimensional. The fact that he has no backstory to explain his personality unlike Thumbelina tells you right then and there how shallow he is. The movie mentions that he somehow escapes the circus, but we don't know how. If that's the case, then why did Thumbelina stay there all this time? Again, you could've had the exact same problem even with her escaping because all her life, she has encountered many different people bullying her and taking advantage of her, which would make the story and her character much more powerful. Considering how headstrong she is, I thought she would've taken that route a long time ago anyway and not just because someone told her where her village is. Also, if you're not going to develop his time in trafficking, then why not just go with the original story and just have him be adopted. He also feels out of place in his world, but in contrast to Thumbelina who was gaslit all her life, his caring role models can tell him that there are others like him somewhere in the 7.8 billion people in the world. He also has a bit of an emotional scene with his adoptive father where he has to leave him, but this is never elaborated on at all. Nor do we see Tom Thumb struggle with this. It's just another excuse for the movie to get the plot going.

Mole King

Disturbing af. Blud gets told about some pretty girl in the forest and then hits on her, point, blank, and a period. No conflict about her age, looks, personality, nothing. Take into account that Thumbelina is probably like no older than 19, it's so uncomfortable to watch this old ass incel obsessing over someone who's barely of legal age at best, complete with all tickling, touching, rubbing, and feet fetishes, too. And even going full on Bowser when she is taken away from him. And for no reason either.

In the third act of the film, he does explain that it's because they're both rejects, but how is Thumbelina supposed to be a reject in any way? She was just someone who was easily abused and felt out of place, but she was never ostracized by anyone. I take it that the mole is just an incel who wants any pretty young thing considering this one lady mouse also dated him. His song is good, but still, it's all about him hitting on Thumbelina and it makes no sense regardless.

Mole King's Minions (cuz I don't remember their names and don't care)

Mostly unfunny. They get their out of character moment when they refuse to capture Tom Thumb as the Mole King says so, despite him being their fascist. They make one stupid decision involving two split paths and they both decide to go down one path at the same time and I was like "BRO HOW ABOUT YOU TWO FUCKING SPLIT UP!" and they get reasonably cockblocked.

Three Ladybugs (cuz I don't remember their names and don't care)

These little fucking shits are annoying as all get out. Their entire existence is to make fun of and bully Thumbelina for no reason yet somehow treat Tom Thumb like a prince? What? Is this supposed to contrast things or something? It's so weird.

What do you think you are, hypocrites?

Clingy Bird (cuz I don't remember her name and don't care)

Can't fly for some stupid reason. Apparently, she was captured right after she hatched, but she's clearly an adult, so why she still can't fly, I don't understand. Like literally, a 4 year old can come up with a better fucking reason for a bird not flying than this. And then she starts crying because she thinks Thumbelina isn't her friend when, gurl, you only met her for 2 fucking minutes and you're already worrying over whether or not she's your friend?

Roman

The first villain of the film who came and went. Kind of a cartoonish villain who gaslights Thumbelina into thinking she's the only one of her kind. He captures two babies who happen to be the titular characters in a village where there are plenty of other babies around, what makes Tom Thumb and Thumbelina conveniently special? Oh yeah, because movie. Also, why does every Russian/Portuguese animated character have to be a ball of fat? I mean Gru from Despicable Me and whatshisface from Coraline...Mr. Bobinsky was it?

Dexter

Another villain who came and went. Some science kid whose parents are so ignorant he messes with ether. He's another cartoonish villain who wants to kill his captives because... he's evil, I guess.

Ben

Seemingly a nice guy, but then shows off his inner boomerism by making Tom Thumb fly the coop just because he's of age and he's apparently going to die soon. We don't know if he suffers from any illness or what, the story just wanted to take a sudden turn, I guess.

Thumbelina's Parents

Wish they got a little more attention if they were going to bring them back. Shouldn't they have been working hard to try and get their kid back all these years instead of just standing around doing jackshit? Like go gather up a search group or something.

Animation

I think it will appeal to kids. It's colorful, expressive, and fluid, but it also feels sloppy and unfinished. Like one scene had the characters talking without their mouths moving. It also just looks like a 2005 Newgrounds Flash game, I don't really have a problem with this on paper, but it just goes to show how sloppy and aged the animation is.

Music

I think the music sounds nice and catchy. But the music also falls flat because either the story writing is bad (Welcome to My Hole), the lyrics sound bizarre and tune unfitting for the context of the scene (One Two Cha Cha Cha) or it just sounded kinda bland (I'm All Alone).

Overall

As a kids film, I think this film will do a good job at charming little kids. It's dumb fun (not in a good way, tho) and bright and colorful. But I don't think kids over the age of 9 (around the age I was when I watched the film) would give a fuck. You're better off watching the Mario Movie if you want a fun simple animated kids film about a young girl being forced to marry an ugly bastard and it also has a song about it too.

I give The Adventures of Tom Thumb & Thumbelina 5.2 bells out of 10

I was considering giving it 4.9 bells because of how bad everything was, but I just have to give it a little more credit because there's clearly effort put into this. It had the skeletons to be a powerful movie. On paper, the female lead is compelling and relatable, the theme is emotional and heartwarming, the crossover premise was always interesting, the music sounds catchy, the animation is charming, there's a bit of comedy in there... but they all fell flat due to the execution. I really do feel bad for the makers as it seems like the movie had a really hard time. From what I gathered on research, the movie has been in the making since early 1999 at latest and was completed by the end of the year. It had legal issues with Disney. I can tell how small the budget is just by looking at the writing and animation, and I think Disney, who distributed the film, didn't finance the project enough. That, and they were probably crunched for time. It's really painful how underwhelming this film was.

[blommis-writes]

I wanted to avoid yapping too much about it but I'm insufferable about live actions and ATLA has always been my comfort show since I was like, 12yo and watching the new episodes religiously every week so here we go:

Not-so-short, not-so-spoiler-free review of the ATLA live action

(there is are two small spoilers ahead, but if you don't wanna see it then don't read unless you've watched the first 5 minutes of the first episode for one, and the second episode for the other)

It's not even about the violence itself, but the way you portray it.

To me, the worst way to portray violence is going out of your way to showing it outright graphically, and with live actions (one of the many reasons I hate them btw) it's also so fucking easy to spot the poor ass writing choices, becuse on the other side you can see the source material where they showed the terrors and violence of genocide in a fucking kids' show without outright showing them (again, kids show) and now that I'm watching the live action I can say that it definitely did not arise the same feelings the animated did.

Because, again, it was about the feelings, the empathy you could feel at the character's own feeling of great despair and loss. And, at the same time, technically speaking, not showing something can be much more effective at telling a story.

A guy I know who works in the industry once actually explained to me how it's a whole ass phenomenon, where they add a lot of violence in the first episodes/season to appeal to what they call "more adult" audiences but are in reality. just. GoT fans. because that show broke so many popularity records at the time, that it became the standard.

The thought process is basically "GoT became successful and won 934746383 awards because they portrayed graphic scenes of r*pe and killings every couple of episodes, so if we want a successful show we need to do the same" and of course, with streaming having ruined everything about the airing of shows, if one is not incredibly successful already from the first day it airs it gets cancelled, so what do you do? Add a whole lot of unnecessarily graphic violence, at least in the first episodes and the first season, so it catches the attention of the "adult audiences".

Like, gimme a valid reason for showing a guy being burned alive exactly (I went back to check) four minutes in the first episode.

"But it's normal they have to change something" and listen. LISTEN. I was of the same mind when news of Sokka's sexism came out, I wanted to give it a chance because as much as media literacy is dead I thought "well but they have good intentions"... boy was I WRONG.

It seems to me that the actual reason for Sokka's sexism being toned down was so that they could make Suki more of a love-struck teen.

There's the actual trope of "girl raised in women's warrior tribe sees a naked, sculpted, male chest for the first time" and I still can't believe it. I was watching it during lunch break in my internship's office and my colleague asked me if I was okay because I externally cringed while watching.

Sokka may not be that sexist anymore, but the writers of the show sure are.

Overall this poor ass writing is the only thing I've had the ick for (for now, I haven't finished the season yet and netflix writers have the power to fuck up even the smallest things), and it's a shame because:

the casting did enough justice to the characters, and even tough the acting level is not, like, god tier or whatever, they seem all so dedicated to the story, besides they are all accurate as POCs and I couldn't have been happier about that

the costume and make up departments did the same (aside the tiny detail of them, I dunno, being scared of dirtying the costumes? thus ending up with them having kind of a "cheap cosplay" vibe but eh, it's camp I guess?)

the CGI is... not really good but not that bad either, even tough you can see they probably spent most of the budget on Appa, Momo, and the animal-mixes (their CGI is good af compared to the other stuff but I wouldn't have it any other way cause they are so fucking cute)

The sets, even while being for the most part so obviously CGI-made (see above), are recreated nicely from the show and what changes have been made were for the better

the soundtrack from what I've heard for now is a mix of the old iconic one and some new stuff, and it fits really well

So yeah, overall the ATLA live action is not that bad at all, the technicalities are at the same level of the One Piece one, but you can definitely see that some (really, really) poor writing choices were taken here, and that can really make a difference in a show that already was not original. (I am TIRED of live actions ffs)

These are some thoughts about the first two episodes, I may or may not write followups as I watch depending on how angry it wil make me.

shoutout to Game of Thrones for setting the standard of "a show is not serious/good unless it has TONS of violence in it", hope you and your shitty finale rot in the tv show hell

[witchthewriter]

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!  

a/n: sorry my posting is outta whack, I’m in a hotel without a laptop charger so I’m doing my best✌🏼

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ  

SFW🌿

・You were not royalty. 

・Nor were you a princess/prince...

・You were what some called a privateer, and others... well, they just called you a pirate.

・But you didn’t care what they called you, as long as said people didn’t notice their valuables were missing

・Arthur thought he knew chaos, he was pretty chaotic himself. He was used to it, he grew up with it. Chaos was embedded into his very blood. 

・Yeah, and then he met you. 

・Maybe you felt safe to him; as if you reminded him of home, of his childhood. 

・But you were a hindrance to his trading on the seas, especially through certain ports; where you liked to plunder the most. 

・And King Arthur knew he had to do something about that. 

・He didn’t think it would end in a betrothal. 

・Well, when he first met you - that was the furthest concept from his mind. The first was anger, then impressed, mixed with a hint of jealousy. You had your freedom. 

・And although Arthur wouldn’t trade his position for the world, he did miss his freedom. 

・But leadership was in Arthur’s blood, so jealousy soon dissipated with responsibility taking its place

・You were an odd couple, well you still are. And many people question why the King would betroth himself to a criminal

・But your betrothal initially wasn’t about love- it was to unite your world with his, so that those seas were safe and other pirates would see Arthur as trustworthy

・So basically he’s marrying you for everyone’s peace 

・And then there was love. It peaked its head around the corner and then all at once, smothered the two of you. 

・Your love can feel overwhelming, and yet, it was something that you never wanted to lose

・You weren’t used to having such a secure person in your life. Someone who was bound to you, who would never leave you. 

・He proposed the idea the 4th time you met. On the first meeting, you nearly killed him. And on the second, he stormed off your ship. Something happened on the third that you couldn’t understand. And on the fourth ... well ... here you are

・You moved into the castle, although many of your belongings were still on your ship. Arthur swore to never take anything away from you, to never belittle you or take away your freedom. 

・In all honesty, you felt as if you had hit some kind of jackpot. And maybe you did feel a bit like a traitor for betrothing yourself to a King, but that meant extra protection for you and your crew. 

・You wear a (insert your favourite gem: ruby, emerald, sapphire, diamond, opal etc,) ring on your left-hand ring finger, which signifies your engagement to the King

・You already sleep in the same bed; with Arthur usually being the first to wake each morning. 

・He likes to kiss your forehead while you sleep

・You wear his clothes, and he loves it 

・And you’ve taken him sailing on your Frigate ship

・Your crew was wary of Arthur at first - they didn’t know what to expect, well they were expecting to be jailed for piracy. But Arthur’s motto has wrung true,:  “Why have enemies when you can have friends?”

Relationship Tropes: 

  Dumbass x Oh God I Guess That’s My Dumbass

Arthur: “Y/N NO!”  You: Y/N YES!!!” 

⸻

Arthur: Put it back

You: But -

Arthur: Put. It. Back.

Crazy Anti-Hero (You) x Hero Maintaining Their Partner Is On The Good Side (Arthur)

Troublemaker (You) x YOU DO YOU KEEP GETTING IN TROUBLE!? (Arthur)

[shipsandlattes]

So I know everyone has already dissected this scene to its core, but it’s taken me a good 48 hours to digest this and I just needed to get it out.

I’m an aspiring actor, I’ve been training for a long time, with a lot of amazing teachers. I’ve watched a lot of shows and shipped a lot of couples. Some of them beautiful and canon, others, well, let’s just say waiting 22 years and counting for acknowledgement, closure, anything, it’s a damn challenge. I’ve seen a hell of a lot of will-they-wont-they’s, baiting, purposeful ignorance, deliberate fake outs, zero explanations, storylines that basically caused canon disintegration, the works.

In saying that, Dean and Cas were right up there on the list with the other “impossibles” because honestly, I didn’t think the writers would have the guts to do it, but I am so f*cking proud they did. It’s safe to say I’ve watched the scene a good hundred+ times already. 

I’ve seen a lot of “controversy” around Dean’s reaction/Jensen’s acting choices and whether or not Dean reciprocates Cas’ feelings, and obviously, I needed to add my own views to the mix.

Just work with me for a minute here.

Dean Winchester is an emotionally repressed trainwreck, and ironically enough, the one that is so full of emotion it hurts to watch. When Cas first starts his speech, he’s confused, really confused because why on earth would Cas start off on a rant now? Billie’s waiting to kill them, he just said he knew something that was more powerful than she was, something that could save them. That’s where he thought this speech was going.

The confusion turns to realisation that it’s a goodbye when Cas starts telling him how incredible he is, how his entire essence is love. Go back and watch the scene again, when Cas says “you’re the most caring man on Earth”, you physically see Dean look down, his eyes searching, he’s actively trying to make sense of what’s happening, he knows what’s coming and you can see him coming to terms with the shock of the words being said to him. He then looks directly at Cas. That look, that was pure shock.

Also, notice how he doesn’t stop Cas from talking? He doesn’t interject, make a joke, doesn’t talk about how there is no time for this now, they’ve got to at least try and stop Billie. He. says. nothing. He listens, he listens like I’ve never seen Dean listen before. Because it’s sinking in now.

When Cas really starts crying, when he says “you changed me, Dean”, you can actually see the pain in Dean’s eyes. He’s no longer in control of his emotions, he’s crying too. He’s never seen Cas like this, so raw, and vulnerable and human. This is the hardest, most emotional conversation they’ve both ever had. They are talking about the one thing that everybody knows, but is never addressed. When it wasn’t talked about, they could deny it, live in the lie. Once it’s said aloud, it’s real and they can’t turn back.

This above series of interactions is the part that kills me the most. The moment Cas says “because it is”, that’s the exact moment of realisation. Look at that last GIF, really look. He’s just worked it out, that he is Cas’ true happiness. He knows what’s coming before Cas even says it. Go back and watch the scene again, they pulled that off so well, the way the music swells at this exact moment. Jensen is giving us everything here, you can see what’s happening in his head - he is Cas’ happiness. He is the one thing on Earth Cas wants and thinks he can’t have. He is the reason Cas is about to die. He knows what Cas is about to say and he’s not sure he’s ready to hear it, not now, not like this. It’s almost a silent plea not to say it, because he knows. Of course he knows. It’s like he can’t quite believe Cas is really, after all this time, finally going to say it.

And because obviously Jensen decided that that wasn’t enough to break us, the loaded reaction when Cas says “I love you” has me nothing but convinced that it’s reciprocated. Because Dean knows. He’s always known. Those tears, that head tilt, that gulp. He’s so genuinely confused that they’re really having this conversation. It’s like he can’t quite believe that this is the reality before him because he’s been living in that denial, in that self-loathing and unlovable layer he believes to be true. He’s been under the ‘what if... but it could never be’ umbrella for so long. 

What also makes this real is that there isn’t anyone else around this time. When “I love you’s” have been said before, they have always been able to deflect it, with other people or other words. Now it’s just the two of them. No deflecting, no running away. Dean is forced to hear it, to absorb it, to realise it’s for nobody else but him.

Now, I don’t know if you guys felt this, but when Dean says “Don’t do this, Cas”, he wasn’t just referring to Cas sacrificing himself to the Empty, he’s telling Cas that he can’t just say this, not now, knowing he’s going to die, knowing that Dean won’t get a chance to think, to process, to say what he needs too. I keep staring at that GIF above, Dean is breaking down, I’m almost convinced that Jensen was using an “I love you too, please just stop this” inner monologue for this bit. Look at the way he’s looking at Cas before he realises the Empty has started materialising and turns around. That’s a look of pure heartbreak. Trust me when I tell you, it’s really hard to keep those inner thoughts inside if you’re so in the moment - actually, don’t just take my word for it, read any acting book, ask any actor, it’s so hard to keep that in and sometimes you don’t, and sometimes you do - it’s in both the resistance and the letting go that the gold happens. This my friends, is gold. 

Did anyone else hear “Cas, I-”, well, regardless of whether or not it was an “I” or a very sharp breath, the outcome is the same. Dean’s gone into immediate panic mode. The Empty at one end and Billie at the other, and all poor Dean wants to do is gather his thoughts on not what to say but how to say it. I don’t think he comprehended just how little time he had, he was so focused on what was being said that the reality of the situation caught him completely off guard.

Also, I know this post was about dissecting Dean’s reaction, but can we sidebar a minute to talk about Cas as he pushes Dean out of the way? He’s sobbing, he’s fully crying. That hit me really hard, I’ve never seen Cas cry like that, I’ve never seen Misha get to play that level of emotion before and it was the most heartbreaking thing to watch since The Doctor and Rose and Buffy and Spike, to which by the way, I find many parallels between those couples and this scene.

Speaking of crying, that brings me to this: Dean slumped on the floor, ignoring a call from Sam, sobbing his heart out knowing he’s lost everything. Dean-I’m-emotionally-unavailable-Winchester is sobbing. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t recall ever seeing Dean cry like this before either, the sobbing was so evident and piercing in that silence. The look around the room, the burying of his head in his hands, that is a classic writers romantic love trope if I’ve ever seen it, they really pulled out all the stops with this one.

So, to summarise, I think Jensen’s choices and Dean’s reactions were absolutely and utterly perfect. They both did it so well that it didn’t break from character that these two emotionally distant and repressed men are in love and finally voicing it. Jensen barely said two words and still managed to cause mass coronary’s across the fandom. That my friends is what you call a brilliant actor. I bow down to the talents of these two amazing human beings.

Before I leave this novel, I have to say there are now a few things I’m going to need from the powers that be to not screw this up, help me manifest this:

1. Dean gets to reciprocate his feelings to Cas in person. So, I’m gonna need Cas back and a very emotional Dean.

2. Dean to be actively dealing with heartbreak in the next episode (unless they decided to bring Cas back that soon, which I wouldn’t put past them at this point).

3. Sam to confront Dean about his feelings for Cas, because out of everyone, he’d be the one to hit Dean with the truth of his fears. Sam knows. Sam is supportive. Sam sees it all.

4. I’m gonna need some physical affection, cause after 12 years of nonsense, we damn well deserve it. A hug, and not just any old reunion hug, a proper, this is different now hug. A kiss because hello, in love out loud now. Forehead touching, handholding, really gonna need the works here.

5. A happy ending for the two of them, one way or another. We’ve never had one, it’s time.

Okay, have at it now, let’s speak these into existence please.

Note: GIFs are not mine, I did not make them, credit to owners who I’m not sure of, but they’re beautiful, thanks for making them. EDIT: I’ve just been informed that these gorgeous gifs belong to @michaeldean​ and @inacatastrophicmind​! 

[innuendostudios]

I was invited to give a talk on GamerGate over Zoom in early 2021. I've long been frustrated that there isn't a good timeline of GG and its origins on YouTube. When people ask "what the hell was GG anyway?" they often get referred to my or Dan Olson's videos on the subject, but both of them were made while GG was ongoing, and presumed a degree of familiarity on the part of the audience. There was just too much to say about what was already happening to spend time getting the audience up to speed, and it was safe to assume our audiences had enough context to follow along. But time moves fast on the internet, and many people who now care about such things weren't there while it was happening, and are lacking the necessary context to follow the better videos. For a long time, I've only been able to direct them to RationalWiki's timeline, which is excellent but so exhaustively comprehensive that it's likely to scare off first-timers.

I realize an hourlong lecture isn't necessarily helping matters, but the first 20-or-so minutes of this video are my attempt at streamlining the timeline such that people can be up to speed on the most important stuff fairly quickly. The rest is talking about what it all meant, how it prefigured the Alt-Right, and using it to better understand digital radicalization.

This video was made with the help of Magdalen Rose, who edited the slides to the audio while I was laid up with a back injury. Go sub to her channel! And please back me on Patreon.

Transcript below the cut.

FUCKING VIDEO GAMES? FUCKING VIDEO GAMES. THEY MADE DOZENS OF PEOPLE MISERABLE FOR YEARS OVER VIDEO GAMES! NOT EVEN FUCKING VIDEO GAMES, FUCKING ARTICLES ABOUT FUCKING VIDEO GAMES. THIS IS WHAT PASSES FOR LEGITIMATE GRIEVANCE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS SHIT??

Hi! My name is Ian Danskin. I’m a video essayist and media artist. I run the YouTube channel Innuendo Studios, please like share and subscribe.

I’m here to talk to you about GamerGate, and I needed to get all that out of the way. I’m going to talk about what GamerGate was and how it prefigured The Alt-Right, and there are gonna be moments where you’re nodding along with me, going, “yeah, yeah I get it,” and then the sun’s gonna break through a crack in the wall and you’ll suddenly remember that all this is happening because some folks - mostly ladies - said some stuff - provably true stuff, I might add - about video games and a bunch of guys didn’t like it, and you’re gonna want to rip your hair out. By the end of this, you will have a better understanding of what happened, but it will never not be bullshit.

Also, oh my god, content warning. Racism, sexism, antisemitism, homophobia, transphobia, rape threats, threats of violence, domestic abuse - I’m not going to depict or describe at length any of the worst stuff, but it’s all in the mix. So if at any point you need to switch me off or mute me, you have my blessing.

Brace yourselves.

Some quick prehistory:

In 2012, feminist media critic Anita Sarkeesian ran a Kickstarter campaign for a YouTube series on sexist tropes in video games. And, partway through the campaign, 4chan found it and said “let’s ruin her life.” And a lot of the male general gaming public joined in. And by “ruin her life” I’m not talking 150 angry tweets including dozens of rape and death threats per week, though that was a thing. I’m talking bomb threats. I’m talking canceled speaking engagements because someone threatened to shoot up a school. I’m talking FBI investigation. The harassers faced no meaningful repercussions.

And in 2013, Zoe Quinn released Depression Quest, a free text game about living with depression. They received harassment off and on for the next year, most pointedly from an incel forum called Wizardchan that doxxed their phone number and made harassing phone calls telling them to kill themself. The harassers faced no meaningful repercussions.

(Also, quick note: Zoe Quinn is nonbinary and has come out since the events in question. When I call Zoe’s harassment misogynist, understand I am not calling Zoe a woman, but they were attacked by people who hate women because that’s how they were perceived. Had they been out at the time things probably would’ve gone down similarly, but on top of misogyny I’d be talking about nonbinary erasure and transphobia.)

Okay. Our story begins in August 2014. The August that never ended.

Depression Quest, after a prolonged period on Greenlight, finally releases on Steam as a free download with the option to pay what you want. In the days that follow, Zoe’s ex-boyfriend, Eron Gjoni, writes a nearly 10,000-word blog called The Zoe Post, in which he claims Quinn had been a shitty and unfaithful partner. (For reference, 10,000 words is long enough that the Hugos would consider it a novelette.) This is posted to forums on Penny Arcade and Something Awful, both of which immediately take it down, finding it, at best, a lot of toxic hearsay and, at worse, an invitation to harassment. So Gjoni workshops the post, adds a bunch of edgelord humor (and I am using the word “humor” very generously), and reposts it to three different subforums on 4chan.

We’re not going to litigate whether Zoe Quinn was a good partner. I don’t know or care. I don’t think anyone on this call is trying to date them so I’m not sure that’s our business. What is known is that the relationship lasted five months, and, after it ended, Gjoni began stalking Quinn. Gjoni has, in fact, laid out how he stalked Quinn in meticulous detail to interviewers and why he feels it was justified. It’s also been corroborated by a friend that Quinn briefly considered taking him back at a games conference in San Francisco, but he became violent during sex and Quinn left the apartment in the middle of the night with visible bruises.

Off of the abusive ex-boyfriend’s post, 4chan decides it’s going to make Zoe Quinn one of their next targets, and starts a private IRC channel to plan the campaign. The channel is called #BurgersAndFries, a reference to Gjoni claiming Quinn had cheated on him with five guys. A couple sentences in The Zoe Post - which Gjoni would later claim were a typo - imply that one of the five guys was games journalist Nathan Grayson and that Quinn had slept with him in exchange for a good review of Depression Quest. Given the anger that they’d seen drummed up against women in games with the previous Anita Sarkeesian hate mob, #BurgersAndFries decides to focus on this breach of “ethics in games journalism” as a cover story, many of them howling with laughter at the thought that male gamers would probably buy it. This way, destroying Quinn’s life and career and turning their community against them would appear an unfortunate byproduct of a legitimate consumer revolt; criticism of the harassment could even be framed as a distraction from the bigger issue. Gjoni himself is in the IRC channel telling them that this was the best hand to play.

The stated aim of many on #BurgersAndFries was to convince Quinn to commit suicide.

Two regulars in the IRC, YouTubers MundaneMatt and Internet Aristocrat, make videos about The Zoe Post. Incidentally, both these men had already made a lot of money off videos about Anita Sarkeesian. Matt’s is swiftly taken down with a DMCA claim, and he says that Quinn filed the claim themself. (For the record, in those days, YouTube didn’t tell you who filed DMCA claims against you.) Members of the IRC also reach out to YouTuber TotalBiscuit, who had been critical of Sarkeesian and dismissive of her harassment, and he tweets the story to his 350,000 followers, saying a game developer trading sex for a good review might not prove true, but was certainly plausible.

This is where GamerGate begins to get public traction.

Zoe Quinn is very swiftly doxxed, with their phone number, home address, nudes, and names and numbers of their family collected. Gjoni himself leaks their birth name. The Zoe Post, and the movement against Quinn - now dubbed “The Quinnspiracy” - make it to The Escapist and Reddit, which mods will have little luck removing. The Quinnspiracy declares war on any site that does take their threads down, most vehemently NeoGAF. People who defend Zoe against the harassment start getting doxxed themselves - Fez developer Phil Fish is doxxed so thoroughly, hackers get access to the root folder of his website.

In what I’m going to call This Should Have Been The End, Part 1, Stephen Totilo, Editor-in-Chief at Kotaku where Nathan Grayson worked, in response to pressure not just from The Quinnspiracy but an increasing number of angry gamers buying The Quinnspiracy’s narrative, publishes a story. In it he verifies that Quinn and Grayson did date for several months, and that not only is there no review of Depression Quest anywhere on Kotaku, not by Grayson nor anyone else, but that Grayson did not write a single word about Quinn the entire time they were dating.

In response, The Quinnspiracy declares war on Kotaku. r/KotakuinAction is formed, which will become the primary site of organization outside of chanboards. The fact that their entire “movement” is based on a review that does not exist changes next to nothing.

Some people start to see The Quinnspiracy as potentially profitable. The Fine Young Capitalists get involved, a group ostensibly working to get women into video games but who have a Byzantine plan to do so wherein they crowdfund the budget and the woman who wins a competition gets to storyboard a game, but another company will make and she will get 8% of the profits, the rest going to a charity chosen by the top donor. 4chan becomes the top donor. They like TFYC because the head of the company has a vendetta against Zoe Quinn, who had previously called them out for their transphobic submission policy, and he falsely accused Quinn of having once doxxed him. 4chan feels backing an ostensibly feminist effort will be good PR, but can’t resist selecting a colon cancer charity because, they say, feminism is cancer and they want to be the cure to butthurt. They also get to design a character for the game, and so they create Vivian James, who will become the GamerGate mascot.

Manosphere YouTubers Jordan Owen and Davis Aurini launch a Patreon campaign for their antifeminist documentary The Sarkeesian Effect and come to The Quinnspiracy looking for $15,000 a month for an indefinite period to make it, which they get.

In what will prove genuinely awful timing, Anita Sarkeesian releases the second episode of Tropes vs. Women in Video Games, and, despite not being a games journalist and having nothing to do with Quinn or Grayson, she is immediately roped into the narrative about how feminists are ruining games culture and becomes the second major target of harassment. Both she and Quinn soon have to leave their houses after having receiving dozens and dozens of death threats that include their home addresses.

After being courted by members of the IRC channel, Firefly star Adam Baldwin tweets a link to one of the Quinnspiracy videos and coins the hashtag #GamerGate. This is swiftly adopted by all involved.

In response to all this, Leigh Alexander writes a piece for Gamasutra arguing that the identity that these men are flocking to the “ethics in games journalism” narrative to defend no longer matters as a marketing demographic. Gaming and games culture is so large and so varied, and the “core gamer” audience of 18-34 white bros growing smaller and septic, that there was no reason, neither morally nor financially, to treat them as the primary audience anymore. Love of gaming is eternal, but, she declared, “gamers,” as an identity, “are over.” Eight more articles contextualizing GamerGate alongside misogyny and the gatekeeping of games culture come out across several websites in the following days. GamerGate frames these as a clear sign of [deep sigh] collusion to oppress gamers, proving that ethics in games journalism is, indeed, broken, and Leigh Alexander becomes the third major target of harassment. These become known as the “gamers are dead” articles - a phrase not one of them uses - and they make “get Leigh Alexander fired from Gamasutra” one of their primary goals.

Something I need you to understand is that it has, at this point, been two weeks.

Highlights from the next little bit: Alex Macris, a higher up at The Escapist’s parent company, expresses support for GamerGate; he will go on to write the first positive coverage at a major publication and cement The Escapist as GamerGate-friendly. Mike Cernovich, aka “Based Lawyer,” gets GamerGate’s attention by mocking Anita Sarkeesian; he will go on to hire a private investigator to stalk Zoe Quinn. GamerGate launches Operation Disrespectful Nod, an email campaign pressuring companies to pull advertising from websites that have criticized them. They leverage their POC members, getting them, any time someone points out the rampant racism and antisemitism among GamerGaters, to say “I am a person of color and I am #NotYourShield”; most of these “POC members” are fake accounts left over from a previous, racist disinformation campaign. Milo Yiannapoulos gets involved, writing positive coverage of GG despite having mocked gamers for precisely this behavior in the past, and gets so much traffic it pulls Breitbart News out of obscurity and makes it a significant player in modern conservative news media.

[Hey! Ian from the future here. This talk mostly addresses how GamerGate prefigured the Alt-Right strategically and philosophically, but if you want a more explicit, material connection: Breitbart News took its newfound notoriety to become, as its Executive Chair phrased it in 2016, "a platform for the Alt-Right." That Executive Chair was Steve Bannon, who threw the website's weight behind The Future President Who Shall Not Be Named, and, upon getting his attention, would then go on to become his campaign strategist and work in his Administration. So, if you're wondering how one of the central figures of the Alt-Right ended up in the White House, the answer is literally "GamerGate." Back to you, Ian from the past!]

In what I’m calling This Should Have Been The End, Part 2, Zoe Quinn announces that they have been lurking the #BurgersAndFries IRC channel since the beginning and releases dozens of screenshots showing harassment being planned and the selection of “ethics in games journalism” as a cover. #BurgersAndFries has a meltdown, everyone turns on each other, and the channel is abandoned. And they then start another IRC and things proceed.

It goes on like this. I’m not gonna cover everything. This is just the first month. It should be clear by now that this thing is kind of unkillable. And I worry I haven’t made it obvious that this is not just a chanboard and an IRC. Thousands of regular, every day gamers were buying the story and joining in. They were angry, and no amount of evidence that their anger was unfounded was going to change that. You could not mention or even allude to GamerGate and not get flooded with dozens, even hundreds of furious replies. These replies always included the hashtag so everyone monitoring it could join in, so all attempts at real conversation devolved into a hundred forking threads where some people expected you to talk to them while others hurled insults and slurs. And always the possibility that, if any one of them didn’t like what you said, you’d be the next target.

To combat this, some progressives offered up the hashtag #GameEthics to the people getting swept up in GamerGate, saying, “look, we get that you’re angry, and if you want to talk about ethics in games journalism, we can totally do that, but using your hashtag is literally putting us in danger; they calling the police on people saying there’s a hostage situation at their home addresses so they get sent armed SWAT teams, and if you’ll just use this other hashtag we can have the conversation you say you want to have in safety.” And I will ever stop being salty about what happened.

They refused. They wouldn’t cede any ground to what they saw as their opposition. It was so important to have the conversation on their terms that not only did they refuse to use #GameEthics, they spammed it with furry porn so no one could use it.

A few major events on the timeline before we move on: Christina Hoff Sommers, the Republican Party’s resident “feminist,” comes out criticizing Anita Sarkeesian and becomes a major GG figurehead, earning the title Based Mom. Zoe Quinn gets a restraining order against Eron Gjoni, which he repeatedly violates, to no consequence; GG will later crowdfund his legal fees. There’s this listserv called GameJournoPros where game journalists would talk about their jobs, and many are discussing their concerns over GamerGate, so Milo Yiannopoulos leaks it and this is framed as further “proof of collusion.” 4chan finally starts enforcing its “no dox” rules and shuts GamerGate threads down, so they migrate to 8chan, a site famous for hosting like a lot of child porn. Indie game developer Brianna Wu makes a passing joke about GamerGate on Twitter and they decide, seemingly on a whim, to make her one of the biggest targets in the entire movement; she soon has to leave her home as well. GamerGate gets endorsements from WikiLeaks, Infowars, white nationalist sites Stormfront and The Daily Stormer, and professional rapist RooshV. And hundreds of people get doxxed; an 8chan subforum called Baphomet is created primarily to host dox of GamerGate’s critics.

But by November, GamerGate popularity was cresting, as more and more mainstream media covered it negatively. Their last, big spike in popularity came when Anita Sarkeesian went on The Colbert Report and Stephen made fun of the movement. Their numbers never recovered after that.

Which is not to say GamerGate ended. It slowed down. The period of confusion where the mainstream world couldn’t tell whether it was a legitimate movement or not passed. But, again, most harassers faced no meaningful repercussions. Gamers who bought the lie about “ethics in games journalism” stayed mad that no one had ever taken them seriously, and harassers continued to grief their targets for years. The full timeline of GamerGate is an constant cycle of lies, harassment, operations, grift, and doxxing. Dead-enders are to this day still using the hashtag. And remember how Anita had nothing to do with ethics in games journalism or Zoe Quinn, and they just roped her in because they’d enjoyed harassing her before so why not? Every one of GamerGate’s targets knows that they may get dragged into some future harassment campaign just because. It’s already happened to several of them. They’re marked.

(sigh) Let’s take a breath.

Now that we know what GamerGate was, let’s talk about why it worked.

In the thick of GamerGate, I started compiling a list of tactics I saw them using. I wanted to make a video essay that was one part discussion of antifeminist backlash, and one part list of techniques these people use so we can better recognize and anticipate their behavior. That first part became six parts and the second part went on a back burner. It would eventually become my series, The Alt-Right Playbook. GamerGate is illustrative because most of what would become The Alt-Right Playbook was in use.

Two foundational principles of The Alt-Right Playbook are Control the Conversation and Never Play Defense. Make sure people are talking about what you want them to talk about, and take an aggressive posture so you look dominant even when you’re not making sense. For instance: once Zoe leaked the IRC chatlogs, a reasonable person could tell the average gater, “the originators of GamerGate were planning harassment from the very beginning.” But the gater would say, “you’re cherry-picking; not everyone was a harasser.”

Now, this is a bad argument - that’s not how you use “cherry-picking” - and it’s being framed as an accusation - you’re not just wrong, you’re dishonest - which makes you wanna defend yourself. But, if you do - if you tell them why that argument is crap - you’ve let the conversation move from “did the IRC plan harassment?” - a question of fact - to “are the harassers representative of the movement?” - a question of ethics. Like, yes, they are, but only within a certain moral framework. An ethics question has no provable answer, especially if people are willing to make a lot of terrible arguments. It is their goal to move any question with a definitive answer to a question of philosophy, to turn an argument they can’t win into an argument nobody can win.

The trick is to treat the question you asked like it’s already been answered and bait you into addressing the next question. By arguing about whether you’re cherry-picking, you’re accepting the premise that whether you’re cherry-picking is even relevant. Any time this happens, it’s good to pause and ask, “what did we just skip over?” Because that will tell you a lot.

What you skipped over is their admission that, yes, the IRC did plan harassment, but that’s only on them if most of the movement was in on it. Which is a load of crap - the rest of the IRC saw it happening, let it happen, it’s not like anybody warned Zoe, and shit, I’m having the cherry-picking argument! They got me! You see how tempting it is? But presumably the reason you brought the harassment up is because you want them to do something about it. At the very least, leave the movement, but ideally try and stop it. They don’t, strictly speaking, need to feel personally responsible to do that. And you might be thinking, well, maybe if I can get them take responsibility then they’ll do something, but you’d be falling for a different technique I call I Hate Mondays.

This is where people will acknowledge a terrible thing is happening, maybe even agree it’s bad, but they don’t believe anything can be done about it. They also don’t believe you believe anything can be done about it. Mondays suck, but they come around every week. This is never stated outright, but it’s why you’re arguing past each other. To them, the only reason to talk about the bad thing is to assign blame. Whose turn is it to get shit on for the unsolvable problem? Their argument about cherry-picking amounts to “1-2-3 not it.” And they are furious with you for trying to make them responsible for harassment they didn’t participate in.

The unspoken argument is that harassment is part of being on the internet. Every public figure deals with it. This ignores any concept of scale - why does one person get harassed more than another? - but you can’t argue with someone who views it as a binary: harassment either happens or it doesn’t, and, if it does, it’s a fact of life, and, if it happens to everyone, it’s not gendered. And this is not a strongly-held belief they’ve come to after years of soul-searching - this is what they’ve just decided they believe. They want to participate in GamerGate despite knowing its purpose, and this is what would need to be true for that to be ok.

Or maybe they’re just fucking with you! Maybe you can’t tell. Maybe they can’t tell, either. I call this one The Card Says Moops, where people say whatever they feel will score points in an argument and are so irony-poisoned they have no idea whether they actually believe it. A very useful trick if the thing you appear to believe is unconscionable. You can’t take what people like that say at face value; you can only intuit their beliefs from their actions. They say they believe this one minute and that another, but their behavior is always in accordance with that, not this.

In the negative space, their belief is, “The harassment of these women is okay. My anger about video games is more important. I may not be harassing them myself, but they do kind of deserve it.” They will never say this out loud in a serious conversation, though many will say it in an anonymous or irreverent space where they can later deny they meant it. But, whatever they say they believe, this is the worldview they are operating under.

Obscuring this means flipping through a lot of contradictory arguments. The harassment is being faked, or it’s not being faked but it’s being exaggerated, or it’s not being exaggerated but the target is provoking it to get attention, which means GamerGate harassers simultaneously don’t exist, exist in small numbers, and exist in such large numbers someone can build a career out of relying on them! It can be kind of fun to take all these arguments made in isolation and try to string together an actual position. Like, GamerGate would argue that Nathan Grayson having previously mentioned Zoe Quinn in an article about a canceled reality show counts as positive coverage, and since Grayson reached out to Quinn for comment it’s reasonable to assume they started dating before the article was published (which is earlier than they claim), and positive coverage did lead to greater popularity for Depression Quest. But if you untangle that, it’s like… okay, you’re saying Zoe Quinn slept with a journalist in exchange for four nonconsecutive sentences that said no more than “Zoe Quinn exists and made a game,” and the price of those four sentences was to date the journalist for months, all to get rich off a game that didn’t cost any money. That’s your movement?

And some, if cornered, would say, “yes, we believe women are just that shitty, that one would fuck a guy for months if it made them the tiniest bit more famous.” But they won’t lead with that. Because they know it won’t convince the normies, even the ones who want to be convinced. So they use a process I call The Ship of Theseus to, piece by piece, turn that sentence into “slept with a journalist in exchange for a good review” and argue that each part of the sentence is technically accurate. It’s trying to lie without lying. And, provided all the pieces of this sentence are discussed separately, and only in the context of how they justify this sentence, you can trick yourself into believing this sentence is mostly true.

So, like, why? This is clearly motivated reasoning; what’s the motivation? What was this going to accomplish?

The answer is nothing. Nothing, by design. GamerGate’s “official” channels - the subreddit and the handful of forums that didn’t shut them down - were rigidly opposed to any action more organized than an email campaign. They had a tiny handful of tangible demands - they wanted gaming websites to post public ethics policies and had a list of people they wanted fired - but their larger aim was the sea change in how games journalism operated, which nothing they were asking for could possibly give them. The kind of anger that convinces you this is a true statement is not going to be addressed by a few paragraphs about ethics and Leigh Alexander getting a new job. They wanted gaming sites to stop catering to women and “SJWs” - who were a sizable and growing source of traffic - and to get out of the pockets of companies that advertised on their websites - which was their primary source of income. So all Kotaku had to do to make them happy was solve capitalism!

Meanwhile, the unofficial channels, like 8chan and Baphomet, were planning op after op to get private information, spread lies with fake accounts, get disinformation trending, make people quit jobs, cancel gigs, and flee their homes. Concrete goals with clear results. All you had to do to feel productive was go rogue. In my video,

How to Radicalize a Normie, I describe how the Alt-Right encourages lone wolf behavior by whipping people up into a rage and then refusing to give them anything to do, while surrounding them with examples of people taking matters into their own hands. The same mechanism is in play here: the public-facing channels don’t condone harassment but also refuse to fight it, the private channels commit it under cover of anonymity, and there is a free flow of traffic between them for when the official channels’ impotence becomes unbearable.

What I hope I’m illustrating is how these techniques play off of each other, how they create a closed ecosystem that rational thought cannot enter. There’s a phrase we use on the internet that got thrown around a lot at the time:

you can’t logic someone out of a position they didn’t logic themselves into.

Now, there are a few other big topics I think are relevant here, so I want to go through them one by one.

MEMEIFICATION

So a lot of interactions with GamerGate would involve a very insular knowledge base.

Like, you’d say something benign but progressive on Twitter.

A gater would show up in your mentions and say something aggressive and false.

You’d correct them. But then they’d come back and hit you with -

ah shit, sorry, this is a Loss meme.

If I were in front of a classroom I’d ask, show of hands, how many of you got that? I had to ask Twitter recently, does Gen Z know about Loss?!

If you don’t know what Loss is I’m not sure I can explain it to you. It’s this old, bad webcomic that was parodied so, so, so many times

that it was reduced to its barest essentials, to the point where any four panels with shapes in this arrangement is a Loss meme. For those of you in the know, you will recognize this anywhere, but have you ever tried to explain to someone who wasn’t in the know why this is really fuckin’ funny?

So, now… by the same process that this is a comics joke,

this is a rape joke.

I’m not gonna show the original image, but, once upon a time, someone made an animated GIF of the character Piccolo from Dragon Ball Z graphically raping Vegeta. 4chan loved it so much that it got posted daily, became known as the “daily dose,” until mods started deleting every incident of it. So they uploaded slightly edited version of it. Then they started uploading other images that had been edited with Piccolo’s color scheme. It got so abstracted that eventually any collection of purple and green pixels would be recognized as Piccolo Dick.

Apropos of nothing, GamerGate is a movement that insists it is not sexist in nature and it does not condone threats of rape against the women they don’t like. And this is their logo. This is their mascot.

If you’re familiar with the Daily Dose, the idea that GamerGate would never support Eron Gjoni if they believed he was a sexual abuser is so blatantly insincere it’s insulting… but imagine trying to explain to someone who’s not on 4chan how this sweater is a rape joke. Imagine having to explain it to a journalist. Imagine having to explain it to the judge enforcing your abuser’s restraining order.

Reactionaries use meme culture not just because they’re terminally online but also because it makes their behavior seem either benign or just confusing to outsiders. They find it hilarious that they can be really explicit and still fly under the radar. The Alt-Right did this with Pepe the Frog, the OK sign, even the milk glass emoji for a hot minute. The more inexplicable the meme, the better. You get the point where Stephen Miller is flashing Nazi signs from the White House and the Presidential re-eletion campaign is releasing 88 ads of exactly 14 words and there’s still a debate about whether the administration is racist. Because journalists aren’t going to get their heads around that. You tell them “1488 is a Nazi number,” it’s gonna seem a lot more plausible that you’re making shit up.

MOVE FAST AND BREAK THINGS

Online movements like GamerGate move at a speed and mutation rate too high for the mainstream world to keep up. And not just that they don’t understand the memes - they don’t understand the infrastructure.

In an attempt to cover GamerGate evenhandedly, George Wiedman of Super Bunnyhop interviewed a lawyer who specializes in journalistic ethics. He meant well; I really wish he hadn’t. You can see him trying to fit something like GamerGate into terms this silver-haired man who works in copyright law can understand. At one point he asks if it’s okay to fund the creative project of a potential journalistic source, to which the guy understandably says “no.”

What he’s alluding to here is the harassment of Jenn Frank. A few weeks into GamerGate, Jenn Frank writes a piece in The Guardian about sexism in tech that mentions Anita Sarkeesian and Zoe Quinn. In another case of “here’s a strongly-held belief I just decided I have,” GamerGate says this is a breach of journalistic ethics because Frank backs Quinn on Patreon. They harass her so intensely she not only has to quit her job at The Guardian, for several months she quits journalism entirely.

Off the bat, calling a public figure central to a major event in the field a “journalistic source” is flatly wrong-headed. Quinn was not interviewed or even contacted for the article, they were in no way a “source”; they were a subject. But I want to talk about this phrase, “fund a creative project.” Patreon is functionally a subscription; it’s a way of buying things. It’s technically accurate that Frank is funding Quinn’s creative project, but only in the sense that you are funding Bob Dylan’s creative project if you listen to his music. And saying Frank therefore can’t write about Quinn is like saying a music journalist can’t cover a Bob Dylan concert if they’ve ever bought his albums.

And we could talk about the ways that Patreon, as compared with other funding models, can create a greater sense of intimacy, and we also could comment that, well, that’s how an increasing number of people consume media now, so that perspective should be present in journalism. But maybe it means we should cover that perspective differently? I don’t know. It’s an interesting subject. But none of that’s going on in this conversation because this guy doesn’t know what Patreon is. It was only a year old at this point. Patreon’s been a primary source of my income for 5 years and my parents still don’t know what it is. (I think they think I’m a freelancer?) This guy hears “funding a creative project” and he’s thinking an investor, someone who makes a profit off the source’s success.

The language of straight society hasn’t caught up with what’s happening, and that works in GamerGate’s favor.

In the years since GamerGate we have dozens of stories of people trying to explain Twitter harassment to a legal system that’s never heard of Twitter. People trying to explain death threats to cops whose only relationship to the internet is checking email, confusedly asking, “Why don’t you just not go online?” Like, yeah, release your text game about depression at GameStop for the PS3 and get it reviewed in the Boston Globe, problem solved.

You see this in the slowness of mainstream journalists to condemn the harassment - hell, even games journalists at first. Because what if it is a legitimate movement? What if the harassers are just a fringe element? What if there was misconduct? The people in a position to stop GamerGate don’t have to be convinced of their legitimacy, they just have to hesitate. They just have to be unsure. Remember how much happened in just the first two weeks, how it took only a month to become unkillable.

It’s the same hesitance that makes mainstream media, online platforms, and law enforcement underestimate The Alt-Right. They’re terrified of condemning a group as white nationalist terrorists because they’re confused, and what if they’re wrong? Or, in most cases, not even afraid they’re wrong, but afraid of the PR disaster if too much of the world thinks they’re wrong.

ACCOUNTABILITY AND CONTROL

A thing I’ve talked about in The Alt-Right Playbook is how these decentralized, ostensibly leaderless movements insulate themselves from responsibility. Harassment is never the movement’s fault because they never told anyone to harass and you can’t prove the harassers are legitimate members of the movement. The Alt-Right does this too - one of their catchphrases is “I disavow.” Since there are no formalized rules for membership, they can redraw boundaries on the fly; they can take credit for any successes and deny responsibility for any wrongdoing. Public membership is granted or revoked based on a person’s moment-to-moment utility.

It’s almost like… they’re cherry-picking.

The flipside of this is a lack of control. Since they never officially tell anyone to do anything but write emails, they have no means of stopping anyone from behaving counterproductively. The harassment of Jenn Frank was the first time GamerGate’s originators thought, “maybe we should ease off just to avoid bad publicity,” and they found they couldn’t. GamerGate had gotten too big, and too many people were clearly there for precisely this reason.

They also couldn’t control the infighting. When your goal is to harass women and you have all these contradictory justifications for why, you end up with a lot of competing beliefs. And, you know what? Angry white men who like harassing people don’t form healthy relationships! Several prominent members of GamerGate - including Internet Aristocrat - got driven out by factionalism; they were doxxed by their own people! Jordan Owen and Davis Aurini parted ways hating each other, with Aurini releasing chatlogs of him gaslighting Owen about accepting an endorsement from Roosh, and they released two competing edits of The Sarkeesian Effect.

I say this because it’s useful to know that these are alliances of convenience. If you know where the sore spots are, you can apply pressure to them.

LEADERS WITHOUT LEADERSHIP

One way movements like GamerGate deflect responsibility is by declaring, “We are a leaderless movement! We have no means to stop harassment.”

Which… any anarchist will tell you collective action is entirely possible without leaders. But they’ll also tell you, absent a system of distributing power equitably, you’re gonna have leaders, just not ones you elected.

A few months into GamerGate, Randi Lee Harper created the ggautoblocker. Here’s what it did: it took five prominent GamerGate figures - Adam Baldwin, Mike Cernovich, Christina Hoff Sommers, Milo Yiannopoulos, and Nick Monroe, formerly known as [sigh] PressFartToContinue - and generated a block list of everyone who followed at least two of them on Twitter. Now, this became something of an arms race; once GamerGate found out about it they made secondary accounts that followed different people, and more and more prominent figures appeared and had to get added to the list. But, when it first launched, the list generated from just these five people comprised an estimated 90-95% of GamerGate.

Hate to break it to you, guys, but if 90+ percent of your movement is following at least two of the same five people, those are your leaders. The attention economy has produced them. Power pools when left on its own.

This is another case where you have to ignore what people claim and look at what they do. The Alt-Right loves to say “we disavow Richard Spencer” and “Andrew Anglin doesn’t speak for us.”

But no matter what they say, pay attention to whom they’re taking cues from.

AD CAMPAIGN

George Lakoff has observed that one way the Left fails in opposition to the Right is that most liberal politicians and campaigners have degrees in things like law and political science, where conservative campaigners more often have degrees in advertising and communications. Liberals and leftists may have a better product to sell, but conservatives know how to sell products.

GamerGate less resembles a boots-on-the-ground political movement than an ad campaign. First they decide what their messaging strategy is going to be. Then the media arm starts publicizing it. They seek out celebrity endorsements. They get their own hashtag and mascot. They donate to charity and literally call it “public relations.” You can even see the move from The Quinnspiracy to GamerGate as a rebranding effort - when one name got too closely associated with harassment, they started insisting GamerGate was an entirely separate movement from The Quinnspiracy. I learned that trick from Stringer Bell’s economics class.

Now, we could stand to learn a thing or two from this. But I also wouldn’t want us to adopt this strategy whole hog; you should view moves like these as red flags. If you’re hesitating to condemn a movement because what if it’s legitimate, take a look at whether they’re selling ideology like it’s Pepsi.

PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING

One reason to insist you’re a consumer revolt rather than a harassment campaign is most people who want to harass need someone to give them permission, and need someone to tell them it’s normal.

Bob Altemeyer has this survey he uses to study authoritarianism. He divides respondents into people with low, average, and high authoritarian sentiments, and then tells them what the survey has measured and asks, “what score do you think is best to have: low, average, or high?”

People with low authoritarian sentiments say it’s best to be low. People with average authoritarian sentiments also say it’s best to be low. But people with high authoritarian sentiments? They say it’s best to be average. Altemeyer finds, across all his research, that reactionaries want to aggress, but only if it is socially acceptable. They want to know they are the in-group and be told who the out-group is. They don’t particularly care who the out-group is, Altemeyer finds they’ll aggress against any group an authority figure points to, even, if they don’t notice it, a group that contains them. They just have to believe the in-group is the norm.

This is why they have to believe games journalism is corrupt because of a handful of feminist media critics with outsized influence. Legitimate failures of journalism cannot be systemic problems rooted in how digital media is funded and consumed; there cannot be a legitimate market for social justice-y media. It has to be manipulation by the few. Because, if these things are common, then, even if you don’t like them, they’re normal. They’re part of the in-group. Reactionary politics is rebellion against things they dislike getting normalized, because they know, if they are normalized, they will have to accept them. Because the thing they care about most is being normal.

This is why the echo chamber, this is why Fox News, this is why the Far Right insists they are the “silent majority.” This is why they artificially inflate their numbers. This is why they insist facts are “biased.” They have to maintain the image that what are, in material terms, fringe beliefs are, in fact, held by the majority. This is why getting mocked by Stephen Colbert was such a blow to GamerGate. It makes it harder to believe the world at large agrees with them.

This is why, if you’re trying to change the world for the better, it’s pointless to ask their permission. Because, if you change the world around them, they will adapt even faster than you will.

THE ARGUMENT ISN’T SUPPOSED TO END

Casey Explosion has this really great Twitter thread comparing the Alt-Right to Scary Terry from Rick and Morty. His catchphrase is “you can run but you can’t hide, bitch.” And Rick and Morty finally escape him by hiding. And Morty’s all, “but he said we can’t hide,” and Rick is like, “why are we taking his word on this? if we could hide, he certainly wouldn’t tell us.”

The reason to argue with a GamerGater is on the implied agreement that, if you can convince them they’re part of a hate mob, they will leave. But look at the incentives here: they want to be in GamerGate, and you want them not to be. But they’re already in GamerGate. They’re not waiting on the outcome of this argument to participate. They’ve already got what they want; they don’t need to convince you GamerGate isn’t a hate mob.

This is why all their logic and rationalizations are shit, because they don’t need to be good. They’re not trying to win an argument. They’re trying to keep the argument going.

This has been a precept of conservative political strategy for decades. “You haven’t convinced us climate change is real and man-made, you need to do more studies.” They’re not pausing the use of fossil fuels until the results come in. “You haven’t convinced us there are no WMDs in Iraq, you need to collect more evidence.” They’re not suspending the war until you get back to them. “You haven’t convinced us that Reaganomic tax policy causes recessions, let’s just do it for another forty years and see what happens.” And when the proof comes in, they send us out for more, and we keep going.

The biggest indicator you can’t win a debate with a reactionary is they keep telling you you can. The biggest indicator protest and deplatforming works is they keep telling you in plays into their hands. The biggest indicator that you shouldn’t compromise with Republicans is they keep saying doing otherwise is stooping to their level. They’re not going to walk into the room and say, “Hi, my one weakness is reasoned argument, let’s pick a time and place to hash this out.”

And we fall for it because we’re trying to be decent people. Because we want to believe the truth always wins. We want to bargain in good faith, and they are weaponizing our good faith against us. Always dangling the carrot that the reason they’re like this is no one’s given them the right argument not to be. It’s all just a misunderstanding, and, really, it’s on us for not trying hard enough.

But they have no motivation to agree with us. Most of the people asking for debates have staked their careers on disagreeing with us. Conceding any point to the Left could cost them their livelihood.

WHY GAMES?

Let’s close with the big question: why games? And, honestly, the short answer is:

why not games?

Games culture has always presented itself as a hobby for young, white, middle class boys. It’s always been bigger and more diverse than that, but that’s how it was marketed, and that’s who most felt they belonged. As gaming grows bigger, there is suddenly room for those marginal voices that have always been there to make themselves heard. And, as gaming becomes more mainstream, it’s having its first brushes with serious critical analysis.

This makes the people who have long felt gaming was theirs and theirs alone anxious and a little angry. They’ve invested a lot of their identity in it and they don’t want it to change.

And what the Far Right sees in a sizable collection of aggrieved young men is an untapped market. This is why sites like Stormfront and Breitbart flocked to them. These are not liberals they have to convert, these people are, up til now, not politically engaged. The Right can be their first entry to politics.

The world was changing. Nerd properties were exploding into popular culture in tandem with media representation diversifying. And we were living with the first Black President. Any time an out-group looks like it might join the in-group, there is a self-protective backlash from the existing in-group. This had been brewing for a while, and, honestly, if it hadn’t boiled over in games, it would have boiled over somewhere else.

And, in the years since GamerGate, it has. The Far Right has tapped the comics, Star Wars, and sci-fi fandoms; they tried to get in with the furry community but failed spectacularly. They’re all over YouTube and, frankly, the atheist community was already in their pocket. Basically, if you’re in community with a bunch of young white guys who think they own the place, you might wanna have some talks with them sooner than later.

Anyway, if you want to know more about any of this stuff, RationalWiki’s timeline on GamerGate is pretty thorough. You can also watch my or Dan Olson’s videos on the subject. I’ll be putting the audio of this talk on YouTube and will put as many resources as I can in the show notes. The channel, again, is Innuendo Studios.

Sorry this was such a bummer.

Thank you for your time.

[ransprang]

Hi! Could I get a Valentine's Day request with a male character from JJBA please? Three personality traits I have are being introverted, responsible, and introspective. I'm 5'8" with long, dark hair and I like wearing oversized, darker clothing (kinda forest witch vibes mixed with dark academia?) My favorite relationship trope is probably mutual pining where both parties are unaware and feel the need to hide their feelings from each other for whatever reason (professionalism if they work together, embarrassment, denial, thinking it's unrequited, etc.) and I'm always a sucker for a quiet cafe date. And lastly, my love languages are quality time (receiving) and acts of service (giving) and my pronouns are she/her! I hope this was enough (or not too much). Thank you!!

Valentines Café date with Giorno

600 followers event

- You joined the bucci gang a while ago and became close with Giorno. You guys sometimes just meet up and chill in comfortable silent company.

- Giorno asks you to meet him at a your favorite cafe coincidentally on Valentine's day. He probably doesn't know the significance of February 14th you thought and brushed those thoughts away.

- When the day came you wanted to put in some extra effort into your own looks. Sure it's Valentine's day and you're hanging out with a good friend, but you didn't wanna look like a slob.

- When you reach the cafe, Giorno is already seated at a booth and says that he ordered your usual drink.

- You settle down and he remarks, "You look lovely today". Earning a blush from you he smiles gently. Mustering some courage you reply, "T-thanks you look great as usual Giorno". His smile grows and maybe it'd your imagination but you see a faint blush.

- You both catch up a bit and once the drinks come he whips out a book and you whip out your laptop to start working.

- Your eyes start to wander and you notice that there are many couples here today, which makes sense. Feeling a little sad your thoughts roam 'Wow it's almost like we're a couple next to the others.'

- Your thoughts are disturbed as your phone buzzes. Your screen lights up, it's Narancia!

- You open his message 'DID HE ASK YOU OUT YET???'

- Your mind is jumbled 'What is Narancia talking about?? Who's supposed to ask me out? Did he send this to the wrong person? What??'

- Giorno looks over at you concernedly and puts his hand over yours, "Everything alright y/n?" So caught up with Narancia's text you don't notice this gesture and show him Narancia's text, "No I just got a strange text from Narancia. I guess he sent it to the wrong person."

- Giorno's face contorts into discomfort and takes your phone. He puts it face down on the table and holds both your hands. "Narancia spoiled it but actually that text was indeed for you. I wanted to do this when I was more sure of your feelings but...y/n I'm in love with you."

- He notices how quiet you became and adds on, "It's okay if you don't return my feelings. I simply wanted to let you know."

- Not wanting to waste this moment that may never come again, "G-Giorno I love you too! I-I had no clue you felt the same.."

- He chuckles and you both spent a great rest of the day at the cafe <3

yours mutually,

admin sar

[makeste]

some follow-up thoughts on BnHA 306

mostly Deku angst, but also a little Baku angst (and some TodoBaku angst) mixed in for good measure. because there’s plenty of angst to go around.

1. “if I’d only been stronger...”

I’ll talk more about Deku later in this post as well, because there’s definitely plenty to talk about; this is the most character development he’s gotten in almost 200 chapters. but for starters, I want to discuss the possible parallels between Deku’s current character arc, and what is arguably the most iconic moment of angst/character development in the series.

remember how this kid, who up until this point had rarely seemed to give two fucks about the world around him, suddenly revealed that he blamed himself for being the downfall of All Might? remember how it came almost out of nowhere? how he’d been hiding it, and trying to suppress it? “but even if I try to forget... sometimes it all just comes rushing back.”

yeah. so anyway, I got to thinking -- if being the cause of one hero’s downfall could affect someone this badly, what about being responsible for the downfall of all heroes?

what if a boy who wanted nothing more than to keep people safe suddenly found himself at the epicenter of a disaster that killed hundreds, possibly even thousands of people?

now obviously, this is not the sole thing that’s troubling Deku right now; this kid has a whole array of traumas as of the War arc. like, you know it’s bad when Society As We Know It Coming To An End Partially Because Of You is the least of your problems. but still, I think this is worth bringing up, because the hero kids blaming themselves for things that aren’t their fault is hardly anything new. and yet, what with everything else that’s been going on -- all of the Todoroki drama, and Vestige revelations, and hospital antics, and political strife -- I feel like it’s easy to forget or overlook this little detail.

the fact is that AFO put this entire plan into motion solely in the hopes of finally obtaining OFA. every single thing that happened at Jakku -- Tomura powering up; Machia waking up and going on his rampage (after being ordered to do so by Tomura); and even Dabi/Touya choosing this moment to finally strike (because he knew this was when the reveal would do the maximum damage -- when people’s faith in heroes was already wavering) -- every last bit of it can ultimately be traced back to AFO’s desire to steal OFA. which, obviously, makes it AFO’s fault, not Deku’s. but then, Kamino wasn’t actually Katsuki’s fault either. it wasn’t his fault the villains went after him (but he blamed himself anyway), and it wasn’t his fault that people got hurt in the ensuing battle to save him (but he blamed himself anyway).

just. I think we’re underestimating just how strong of an impact all of this likely had on Deku. we haven’t really had the chance to see him process it yet. he’s been too busy, and there have been too many other things going on. but I’m telling you guys, that empty look in his eyes in the final page of the chapter? I can all but guarantee you that at least some of that emotional weight is coming from this.

sure would be nice if he had a friend who knew exactly what that was like, and could help him process the guilt and all of the other associated emotions, just like Deku once helped him. unfortunately I’m not so sure things will be that easy this time around. anyways though let’s move on to a couple of other thoughts and speculations.

2. “...and I bullied him.”

one of my least-favorite BnHA fanfic tropes is the one where the rest of class 1-A somehow finds out about Katsuki and Deku’s history -- i.e. that Katsuki bullied Deku throughout most of their childhood. mind you, it’s not the concept itself that I dislike; it’s mostly how it’s used. a lot of times it’s just an excuse to have all of the other kids turn on Katsuki and ostracize him; either because the author thinks that’s what he deserves, or else so that Deku can eventually come to his rescue and defend him and shame the rest of the class for not seeing how much he’s changed. either way, it’s usually pretty awkward to read, and more often than not the characters are pretty OOC (especially Ochako and Todoroki).

however! there’s a big difference between fanfic and canon, and just because I’m not a fan of this trope in the former doesn’t mean it couldn’t be executed well in the latter. and lately I’ve been thinking about this a lot. mainly for three reasons:

the recent (can we still call it recent?? well whatever) scene where Katsuki confessed to All Might that he used to bully Deku is now one of my favorite scenes in the entire series, and proof that this can be executed well.

both Todoroki and Deku have finally had their respective big secrets revealed to the rest of the class. so like, idk. feels like it just might be secret-revealing season now, you know?

and lastly, as a result of Deku’s secret about OFA finally being revealed, the rest of 1-A now either knows, or can extrapolate, that he used to be quirkless.

and from there, I feel like it’s not all that hard to put two and two together with how terrible Kacchan and Deku’s relationship was when they first started at UA. that’s not a terribly difficult puzzle to solve. so I feel like it might come out anyway, and if so, I’d prefer Bakugou telling them himself, and taking responsibility as part of his atonement process. because we know that he regrets it. we know their relationship has changed. we know that he has changed. and so I think I might like to see this.

alternately, if confessing to the entire class is too much, at the very least I could see him confessing to Shouto, because I’ve always felt like this was one of the big things that made Katsuki so resistant to letting Todoroki call him a friend. because I feel like there’s a part of Katsuki that saw the parallels between Endeavor’s abuse of Shouto and his own bullying of Deku, and thought, he wouldn’t be so quick to call me his friend if he actually knew the truth. and so there’s actually been this roadblock wedged between them this whole time that Shouto doesn’t even know about. because Shouto hates Endeavor. and so it’s not such a leap to assume he’d hate Katsuki too if he knew just how terrible he’d been to Deku when they were younger.

not that I think he actually would! actually I don’t think either of those things is actually true (because Shouto clearly doesn’t hate his father either, in spite of everything that’s happened). but the point isn’t what I think -- the point is what Katsuki thinks. and I really do think there’s a good chance he’s worried about Shouto hating him, and it’s one of the things that’s made him so reluctant to accept his friendship. anyway, so I’m really just rambling now, but you get my point. I don’t know if this is actually going to happen, but it’s a scene I would like to see if Horikoshi decides to indulge me.

3. “...so when you wake up, please give him my best.”

and now, as promised, back to Deku.

ngl guys, when I first saw this image, my immediate thought was that Gran must have died. because I mean, hello, leaving U.A.?? donning himself in his teacher’s old cape?? empty, exhausted look in his eyes?? what else were we supposed to think lol.

but maybe that was an overreaction. because when I think about it more, Gran’s death isn’t strictly necessary in order to push Deku over the edge. first of all, there’s already the whole “hero society is in ruins now because of you” thing I mentioned earlier. but also, there are just so many other things. like, let’s just list them here because omg. what a rough couple of days this kid had.

he was forced to battle TomurAFO and was terribly injured in the process (most of which was his own fault, but he wouldn’t have gone that far with OFA unless he felt like he had no choice)

and it wasn’t just him that was injured, either. in fact, even though he tried to act as bait to keep everyone else safe, he wasn’t able to stop three of the people closest to him from nearly being killed right before his eyes

and of course that last one was especially traumatic, because it was Kacchan, and because he had to watch Kacchan nearly die just to protect him. out of all the things that Deku witnessed in this arc, this might be the one that had the biggest impact on him

he was also basically helpless to do anything to protect Shouto and Endeavor when Dabi showed up. so again, we have this running theme of people he cares about being hurt and him not being able to save them

and he also got sucked into the OFA Interstellar Dream Vortex for a brief spell during the battle, during which he learned that AFO had possessed Tomura. more importantly, he learned that Tomura was Nana’s grandson, a fact which was only briefly touched on during that scene, but which I think wound up being the trigger to the whole avalanche that ended with Deku leaving UA. but more on that in a moment

anyway so just to wrap this all up, the battle eventually ended, Tomura got away despite all of their efforts, and then Deku wound up comatose in the hospital for two days. which brings us to the most recent chapters, during which

Deku learns that he will be the last wielder of OFA, whether he likes or not

Deku learns the identity of the last two mystery OFA users

and then at some point, he wakes up and presumably talks to Gran, and winds up with his cape

something happened during these last two scenes which helped to push Deku over the edge. I won’t delve into the matter of the Second or Third users for now, although most of you already know my suspicions regarding that, and I do think that would fit into the general pattern here (that is, the pattern of Deku feeling more and more strongly that he is putting the people around him in danger, and his fear of losing them becoming so overwhelming that it eventually pushes him to leave).

but that’s not what I want to talk about for now. what I want to talk about is Gran. specifically, what it is that Deku discussed with Gran. and this is where we come back to that reveal I mentioned earlier -- that Tomura is Nana’s grandchild.

basically, what I think happened is that Deku mentioned seeing Nana in the OFA Zany Psychedelic Spirit Void, which led to the topic of Tomura, and the fun fact Deku recently learned about him being related to Nana. this, in turn leads to Gran divulging his various regrets about everything that happened with him and Nana and Kotarou. his intent is to apologize to Deku for placing the burden of their failures on him. unfortunately, the part that Deku actually gets fixated on instead is this:

All for One hunted down and killed Nana’s son (and probably her husband as well), and stole her grandchild and psychologically tortured him into becoming a mass murderer, for no other reason than that Nana had once held OFA

in other words, AFO can and will hurt and kill anyone Deku is close to, anyone who has any kind of connection to him at all, without mercy, and regardless of whether it actually gives him any kind of tactical advantage or not. he’ll do it simply to hurt him. no other reason necessary.

I don’t know about you, but for me that would be a terrifying realization. and for Deku, I think it just might have been the tipping point.

so, let’s recap.

Deku learns that AFO is after him

AFO/Tomura very nearly kills several of Deku’s most important people, including Kacchan

and then he learns that this is just the tip of the iceberg, and realizes that all of their lives are still in danger and will continue to be as long as Deku is AFO’s target

and then add to all of this the misplaced guilt about society already being shambles, and the heroes already having more than enough to worry about. they’re barely holding things together as it is. and we already know how Deku feels about being a burden to them:

and so instead, he leaves. of course he does. in hindsight, I think this was inevitable.

the question is, did anyone else also put the pieces together in time to realize what Deku was planning before he actually left? specifically, did Katsuki, who understands Deku’s self-sacrificial nature better than anyone else, see the signs and put two and two together? like he did back at Jakku?

and if he did, would Deku have been willing to accept his help again?

somehow, I can’t help but think it might not be that easy this time.

anyway, so that was a lot of rambling, lol. sorry about that. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS about all of this angsty shit. tired nomad Deku needs hugs and comfort and someone to reassure him that he doesn’t have to face this alone, and that everything is going to be all right. HE IS JUST A LITTLE BOY. this is too much, and I cannot handle any of these feels, and oh my god, somebody please help him.