#and I get so nervous
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Having dental anxiety and being at the dentist is the worst.
#dentist#dental anxiety#I always feel like they will be mad at me#and I get so nervous#and when they are nice I tear up
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I wonder how much I’ve denied myself when I stop myself from telling people I love them. Not even romantically not even explicitly but just saying like, I miss you. I’m thinking about you. Here’s something today that reminded me of you. Here’s something that I think you’d find funny. Here’s how you inspired me today. Here’s how you changed my life today. Here’s where I found my love for you today. Hidden in something so normal and overlooked, and yet the first thing I thought of was you. I love you.
#I am drunk#I am rambling in my feelings#I do this so much where I start writing a text to a friend I miss so much or who I want to talk to#and I get so nervous#so scared of rejection for simply loving and finding joy and finding them everywhere#I thought even when not romantically that people wanted to be loved#I’ve always been a lover I’ve always found it even in the darkest of things#and yet I’m so scared to tell my friends I love them#what if they don’t love me the same#what if they’re just loving me so I feel included and don’t feel othered#but that can’t possibly be true#and yet I hold my tongue with my love for them every single day because I fear that I might love too much#so much that it overwhelms and crushes instead of being beautiful in crevices#aaaaah I want to tell them but I will be too scared forever
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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i want to introduce you all to a project that is very close to my heart... or lack of one. anyway. for anyone who has ever wanted to play a poem. i'd like you to meet aromanticism
(link opens itch.io - she'll run on html in your browser! please be nice to her!)
#literally please be so so so fucking niceys to her i am so nervous about this for no reason#it's literally fine it's gonna be perfectly functional. I Am Going To Lose My Mind#i can always make another post if it gets fucked up somehow... i can always make another post...#anyway. hi. this is aromanticism. i made her for class. and then revised her for class. and now she's like my child#losing my miiiiiiiind#poetry#kind of like a uquiz too. to be honest haha#except i can make you read more somehow (long questions instead of long answers)#it's a little choose your own adventure......#poem#poems#poets on tumblr#poems and poetry#poetsandwriters#poems about aromanticism#aromantic#aro poet#aro poetry#aro#aromanticism#aroace#arospec#aspec#itch.io#GOD OKAY I'M JUST POSTING IT.#other writing#trying to get this to show up in my other writing tag is going to kill me...
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chucks this overthought fiddlestan au at u
#gravity falls#fiddlestan#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#stan pines#grunkle stan#gravity falls au#gravity falls fanart#love is blind au#uhhhh so i'm nervous to share this bc i've been sitting on this au for so long and i actually rlly like the concept#but i just. didn't know if anyone else would like it#anyway it's MY au i get to make fiddleford morally questionable fuck u#i have comics also but idk when i'll finish them so this comes first#okay go easy on me#bye#my art#mods art#mods draws
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that one ship dynamic but with levi and mc
(credit to @litriu! here is the original post (lmk if the link doesnt work pls))
#to litriu: i tagged u bc u mentioned u'd like to see the final thing when it was done; the anon asking for permission was me btw!!!#(i get nervous when im not on anon lol)#however if u decide u dont want this posted just lmk and ill take it down asap :)#i also made this with my personal mc maybe ill post it idk#also i have no idea if anyone's done this yet so if u have um. oops. sorry <:)#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me art#obey me leviathan#obey me mc#agentsevyn's art tag
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the restrained sniffer
#a doodley#anthro#furry#this 100% works more with their human forms but i am not immune to funny kitty#though i guess ''to wear'' doubles as like wearing.... it as a blanket...#sorry its so awkwardly broken up...tumblr allows so many pics so i get to make sure all the nice details are front and center#anyway im an overexplainer and in the past ive gotten so nervous about Action in my little comics#like. how will people know a character did [thing] if i dont show them doing it!!!!!#so this was also a mini exercise in omitting action...like i didnt waste panels drawing talon pulling the shirt on#or al putting on his horn toppers#finally; i had another related doodle idea i never drew out but might now if i remember to....#but wrt smunker's pillowcase and a resulting incident#point being Talon is a smell enjoyer...
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fishbone corset
#artists on tumblr#i like creepy fish#i should be finally getting some health related answers in march#a little nervous since i've never been under anesthesia#but it's something i can't escape forever#hopefully can get it over with and enjoy summer#unlike last year where i spent most of it sick#bodies are so stupid
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Dysmorphia
Ik gender, sexual orientation or anything of the sort is not an issue in the cotl-verse in canon, but Kallamar, Kallamar is special. to me at least.
when you're so used to long flowing tendrils, pretty gowns and a crown that literally resembles (ik it's supposed to be a dunce hat but i'm ignoring that lol) one of those old cone shaped princess hats??? the one in kids shows back then with a streamer at the tip that flows down along with the hair?
when femininity becomes almost second nature to the point where "Brother" only bothers him juuust a little bit, who cares he could brush it off. call him whatever. he's too afraid to correct you anyway.
but now as a follower, he has none of those luxuries, no pretty tentacles, no crystals, no gowns.
just his body...his ugly, slimy, scarred, thin, sorry excuse of a body with a forehead too wide and ears- his precious ears, nothing but shredded lumps at the sides of his head. (Though it was always like that post Narinder, he always hid it with pretty jewelry that matched him)
he's too afraid to ask more of the lamb because of- well because of everything- so instead he asks the tailors for an old marital robe and wears it even though he isn't wed to the lamb (it sparked a LOT of misunderstandings, Leshy found it funny for the most part)
it hides him. hides the shame. it feels okay, for once.
but every now and then it comes back, like an itch, he can't scratch.
thus. here we are.
#cult of the lamb#cotl au#cotl kallamar#cotl fanart#this'll be the last comic I'll be uploading for a while bc I'm gonna be very busy with school stuff#oh and srry for not- interacting very much I get so nervous omg#everyone is so cool- ily all
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i wish i could caption this with "and now for something completely siffrint" but the last thing i posted was. also siffrin.
#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#i needed to doodle silly stuff to calm down this morning. phew#(also if 5 billion people have made the anya face joke before me...my bad. i just got here)#i always get so nervous abt posting art in a new fandom!!! but i like to share...augh
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DID YOU KNOW THAT ANDY SURIANO TALKED ABT YOUR COMIC ON INSTA???????????
YEAH I SAW IT!
really cool!!!!!! nice things were said about my art and story!!!!!! i am so flattered!!!!!!!!!! i am still figuring out how to react to it all!!!
#i most definitely didn't have an anxiety attack for 2 hours after seeing it because i am a human who reacts in normal ways...#<< false statement#i really don't enjoy recieving attention ahajdkkfkgkuj aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA#asks#misc asks#i also recieved a really nice dm!! that i hope i replied to in a normal and not cold or too distant kind of way!!#i suck at communication when nervous agsjdklg augh anyway yeah#i feel so silly getting so stressed over things like this o|< it was a cool moment tho#NOT TO OVERSHARE ON THE INTERNET OR ANYTHING. I'M DONE RAMBLING IN THE TAGS NOW
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Season 2 predictions
#chaggie#hazbin hotel#charlie morningstar#vaggie#hazbin hotel fanart#comic#charlie x vaggie#There was an interview that said Charlie has a shakira inspired song and I'm SO curious how it's going to turn out#girl has awkward nervous energy until she really gets into it or is given the clear#Vaggie brought the wings out and everything#I shouldn't have been drawing this I have so much other stuff to work on but OH WELL this is how I spent my morning
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seb is lucky ominis cant see ref from triptrippy
#seb getting payback/mishebaving when omi berates him bc he cant see what hes doing........hes such a little shit#i also imagine omi smacking him like YES SEBASTIAN! I KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING YOU IDIOT LOL#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#ominis gaunt#clora clemons#choccyart#also reminds me of when i first played HL and ominis catches the MC coming from the undercroft. i was like#i know its not ideal but couldnt mc just shove by him and quickly run away before he realizes who it is LOL#i (and most others) headcanon ominis being super perceptive tho... hed probs be able to tell anyway😩#which is probs why clora is so nervous in this pic LMAO shes like seb... i dont know HOW but i just know.... OMI CAN STILL SEE YOU
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Page 46 of my Miraculous Mentor AU comic A Matter of Trust! In which the last four years of Felix's life come to a single realisation... 💓🌹
Index | Start | Prev | Next
Weekly updates each Sunday! You can also read ahead early on Patreon, and/or buy me a Ko-fi if you'd like to support my work! 💖
#miraculous ladybug#mentor au#felix sphinx#richard sphinx#A Matter of Trust#josie's art#i'm aware the timeline is all over the place but in my defence so is the canon show lmao#the idea is that felix and bri's growing friendship has taken about a year#so actually this story starts in 1995 with felix moving to paris; he gets the ring in early 1998 and NOW it's late 1999#blame it on felix being an unreliable narrator because he's nervous around adrien and keeps forgetting details#i refuse to take responsibility for my own errors when i can blame it on a depressed catboy in thigh boots :V
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Eimmet High...temmiE high. OMG!
Part 28 || First || Previous || Next
--Full Series--
Next update may take...much longer! I have finals and an internship and not to mention I have to draw- A LOT :')
#Golly!#this is a shorter update but I wanted it to be that way. We've been in the house for a while. It's time to change some scenery!!#Chara using their game narrator voice like “golly!” and “amazing!”#Eimmet high :)) i was really hoping to be able to reference Temmie Chang here. An integral part of UT/DR!! She's awesome!#WE ARE OFFICIALLY ON Day 2 BABY#yes- there is still a little everyman easter egg as well as some other things... ;)#I tried so many new and different things for these panels. I was a little nervous implementing them. But im having a lot of fun with it!#i try to put my own artistic enjoyment above all other things :) its what I strive for.#Angle's landing day! excited for the festivities!#Chara is feeling stabby :)#loved detailing Chara's hand in the last page. When I detail the hands- just know shits getting real#I'm really happy with how I was able to redraw Toriel here. She showed up in the second part and that was it for 2 years -w-#so even if she's not a major character- I wanted to give her some good screen time <3#I did not make the Darkworld “Mayor” just for that one joke....but dang did it fit perfectly.#these 4 pages took longer than I wanted. I got burnt out with school and then finals came!!! AND ALSO EMAILS q-q#deltarune chara timeline#deltarune chara timeline comic#chara#asriel#kris#susie#toriel#tw cursing#cw cursing
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hi dca fandom i make an offering after lurking for years what if one-sided crush but its not dca thats crushing hard
#i feel like i havent seen this dynamic before but correct me if im wrong!!!#sun n moon think ur kinda weird but they roll w it#youll get over your silly crush eventually!! (you will not)#y/n is holding both a sunflower and a moonflower btw if u even care#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf moon#fnaf sun#dca x y/n#simp station#im so nervous to post sdfhj UM LOOK AWAY#head in my hands im alrd working on a comic#nobody save me#simping in the daycare au
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