#and I do think in some ways this aspect is kind of gradually getting dropped. like he’s the one who starts the song this time yknow

[bamtwozled]

I just think it’s interesting how dan quite literally playing the heel in a wrestling context kind of pulls back the curtain on how often that’s been his role within Dan and Phil™️. probably the most obvious example was him pretending to be a hater about the tatinof song even though he wrote it into the show because being the hater was his role and his persona, but I also think it’s been kind of a throughline in things like dan vs phil (particularly in the original iteration, when phil was still boxed into the, for lack of a more accurate term, smol bean persona). and I don’t think it’s all an act by any means. disclaimer that I don’t know him personally and literally everything could be an act, etc etc, but I do think that’s really just his personality plenty of times. but there are aspects of that personality that get ramped up for the bit, and at its peak we get heel dan.

like, the routine has always been there if you’re looking for it. this isn’t truly new information. but there’s something about it staring you in the face like this that provides a different perspective on the performance of it all

[soap-is-an-artist]

Going back to Monstrous Regiment post-egg-cracking has been so amazing. The first time I read it, I didn't understand everything, but I had this nagging feeling that if I reread it later, it would make more sense. And now it does.

For one thing, the way that Nuggan's Abominations are treated really hit hard. In the beginning, things were well-intentioned, and maybe not so bad, but they became corrupted by a fear of change and a fear of what is Other. Nugganism became a stricter, more brutal, and senseless religion. It didn't provide hope, and it didn't provide a standard for living. The only thing it could do was cause suffering and give an excuse to inflict pain on others. The Girls' Working School perpetuated a cycle of horrific abuse against young girls who had committed no crime except disobeying the meaningless babblings of a dead god. It didn't solve any problems or act as a positive force in the community. All around, the institution of religion failed.

Speaking of the Girl's Working School, I can't recall if I picked up on Tonker and Lofty/Magda and Tilda being a couple the first time around, but I sure did this time. It was magnificent. However, I do remember that it absolutely shattered my heart when Tonker finally snapped and went on her tirade about the School and how it broke everyone that was forced into it. They were all beaten and abused in other ways; Lofty was raped and after she carried the baby to term, it was taken and never seen again; Tonker is missing her "middle gears"; Wazzer fell into religious mania [although in her case, the spirit actually was speaking to her] and turned to doors inside her head. The whole thing is fucking heartbreaking.

While the situation of the main characters can be interpreted as a trans allegory, I think it's a little more accurate to say that they were crossdressing and socially transitioned for safety. For one thing, when given the choice, they chose to live openly as women rather than continuing to present as men, although some of them kept some aspects of masculinity in their presentation. However, I think the case of the higher ranking officers is really interesting. Essentially, Sargeant Jackrum goes and deadnames all of them to get them to see sense and let the titular regiment choose whether to be open about their identities. [I know personally I would be raging mad if I were in that situation. I was successfully living as a man for years, and then the guy who covered for me just drops my old identity in front of a bunch of my peers who I never wanted to share this with? I would be mad.] In the end, it got the job done, but they make the comment that they could never return to wearing dresses. I think it's possible that they ended up actually identifying as men, rather than solely presenting as them. They definitely internalized a lot of military misogyny either way. Obviously that's not a positive or universal facet of transitioning, but it is a very real phenomenon that happens. And the misogyny can be internalized whether you're trans or cis. Regardless, the idea of living as essentially a new person and leaving your old self behind is very trans, in my opinion, or at least resonates with my experience.

The way all the members of the regiment were gradually discovered to be women was a very "Oh! You're...? Me too." moment for me. We really do just kind of find each other. When you know what to look for, it's easier to see who else is like you. They became their own tiny, close-knit community, and supported each other, although they all had their own goals and priorities. And I think that's lovely.

I have more thoughts on this [so many thoughts about the depiction of nationalism and war. Like that line about "the dead are not your masters"? Loved that], but that's all I'm gonna type out for now because my fingers are tired. But now it is here for future me to read back on, because I didn't keep any written records of my thoughts when I read Monstrous Regiment the first time, so it's basically just fuzzy memories and vague feelings that I'm trying to hold onto. It's a really good book, probably one of my favorites of the Discworld series, although it doesn't top Thud! for me.

[chosokamosbf]

(N)SFW JASON TODD / RED HOOD HCs.

☆ 18+ only/no minors.

WARNINGs: 18+, gn (gender non-implied)! reader, daddy/mommy kink, mentions of abuse (jason nor reader are doing it), minor mention of blood, sub/dom, pain play, fear play, "prey/predator," brat taming, reader is referred to as "prince(ss)" and "sweetheart" once.

WORD COUNT: 900-ish+

Based on canon, I firmly believe he's on the ace spectrum, specifically demisexual. And even then, he rarely experiences sexual attraction at all for his partners. This isn't because he doesn't love them (enough) or any other assumptions similar to that; it just doesn't happen much.

Furthermore, as much as he'll indulge you here and there if you do, (sexual) intimate moments with Jason would be far and few between, making them all the more important to him.

He's a switch, leaning on dom and top. Mostly because he likes the control and is more comfortable that way. Getting him to be submissive instead is a gradual endeavor. He doesn't hate it; it just takes a lot of patience and trust.

First and foremost on actual kinks, I think Jason has a thing for "daddy," both on the receiving and giving ends. He likes the title, and he's definitely the type to whisper something like, "C'mere, sweetheart. Give daddy a kiss." in even private, innocuous moments just to mess with you.

(Note: I don't think he'd have as much of a mommy kink because—y'know.)

Rough sex is a top favorite of his. This goes hand in hand with play wrestling as a form of foreplay, breathing heavily down on his partner just to continue that energy into bed with sweat-slick bodies. It's less about "winning," and more about being allowed to confide in someone in a way and the fun that can come with it. He wouldn't be against being the sub in this situation either, even if his partner is weaker than him, because he knows how important control can be in bed, so he'll let them win. Sometimes. He trusts you, and he wants you both to feel good.

Degradation/praise wise, he'll give either out depending on the moment. He's going to tease and utter dirty shit like, "C'mooon, prince(ss). You're sounding like a real whore for someone who didn't want it a couple minutes ago—" if you tried to struggle against. It depends more on the moment than position because he could be pounding into you and huffing out praise right next to your ear with what little air he's catching, to riding you, telling you to keep up while his head is already thrown back.

He enjoys pegging a lot, but as always, it's going to take some convincing to get him to comply.

Brat taming is another go-to of his, along with sub/dom. On the other end, it seems to be a near equal opposite—he's not into it, and it can get uncomfortable real fast. There's a few times he'll indulge himself, and they're all after more intense days to sort of solidify the trust he has in you. You're not going to hurt him; he's still in control in a way.

He doesn't seem like he'd like being on the receiving end of any sort of pain play. He already deals with chronic pain on a day-to-day basis. To have it overwhelm one of the few aspects of intimacy that he loves and simultaneously take his head off things for once just doesn't seem like it'd be enjoyable for him. No, on the giving end—

(Note: I'm not into pain play myself, nor do I even know what even makes it enjoyable for people, so I'll be segmenting this with fear play and "prey/predator.")

It wouldn't be something he'd ever bring up, far from it, but if it's what you like, he'll gladly take a knife in a steady hand to softly trace it down from your stomach to your underwear. In a smile almost cruel, he'd drag it across just enough so a few drops could be licked back up if you asked nicely enough again.

Jason knows you're just asking for it if you're weaker than him and bring up the idea of a different kind of foreplay. He'd pick a place, somewhere with a lot of spots you could try to hide away and run to (an abandoned office of sorts is the best go; he's not going to risk infections).  Just for him to stalk, pin you down with ease. If the spot he found his little prey in isn't satisfactory (or clean) enough, he'd have no qualms settling you over his shoulder like a sack and manhandling you where he wants it.

He definitely isn't going to go too far, though. As well-trained as he is, he's going to be especially attentive after any scenes involving that. Sadism isn't a big one for him. He'll enjoy it in the moment but then feel real guilty afterwards, so, just as a reminder, aftercare goes both ways.

I don't know why some people think he's into "dark" (ex. pedo stuff such as ageplay and actual rape.) kinks when he's canonically and literally has hunted down murdered several (sexual) abusers before. If you try to break boundaries, he's going to be reconsidering the relationship, and quite possibly if he even knew you as a person.

On a lighter note, consent is a big thing for him, and he's also big on aftercare. A go-to would be a bath for the both of you (stuffing the sheets in the washer right before and bandaging any "scratches" if need be.), then cuddling. Depending on whether he has the energy, he'll pop something in the microwave real quick. (Takeout is usually a last resort because the last thing he wants while enjoying the afterglow with a partner is social interaction with a stranger.)

If you wear make-up and it gets ruined by the end, like in the latter part of the previous section, if he can, he's going to help you wipe off the mess and maybe help you reapply it as a form of care.

[starfish-comics]

SO I'm gonna ramble about a thing, I guess.

I love this game so much! But I feel like if there's one big complaint I have about it, it's that I have never felt like it gave me a genuine reason to feel motivated towards the goal of becoming Divine. I mean as a disclaimer, I tend to lean really heavily into the roleplay aspect of any game I play, and I get really invested in playing my characters authentically and having them do what they would really do, and obviously that approach is ultimately better suited to TTRPGs than video games where you often just have to accept that the game's goals are your goals whether you relate to them or not. Which is fine and that's why I also play dnd.

And also, I've been told that if you play an origin character this is a little bit less of an issue, because their backstories give them personal reasons for wanting to be Divine. And I can't speak to that because I've only played as my gal Artemisia.

But it feels to me like Divinity is essentially a position that gives you a godlike amount of power, and if absolute power is something that feels appealing to you or your character, then it works, but if it doesn't, then it kind of falls flat and feels like you are just doing all these things because the game told you to.

Like when I started, I had the idea of Artemisia as being this sort of dopey hedge-witch who got dropped into all this larger political stuff and was in a bit over her head with it. In Fort Joy she was mostly motivated to escape. By the time she got to Reaper's Coast her experiences had radicalized her, so she was more actively motivated to work against the Magisters, but if anything seeing all these power players in the world being so evil in pursuit of absolute power made her all the more convinced that no one should really have the level of power that Divinity entailed.

Like I don't know, maybe I should have just made a character who would want that kind of power more? But when so much of the game is focused on the enormous amounts of harm done by people with too much power who are convinced that they deserve even more, it feels weird to then have the highest goal of the game be to acquire absolute power more or less for its own sake. Idk, I just feel like they could have done a better job setting up the story so any type of character would have some plausible reason to think Divinity was a thing they should want.

And boy oh boy am I gradually getting more and more consumed by anxiety that the game is going to railroad me into fighting Sebille and Lohse. All the other stuff I just said is really just me kvetching because I want every game I play to be all roleplay all the time, and ultimately I know this is a video game and not dnd and having your choices limited is part of that and it's fine. But if I get forced to fight these gals after spending untold hours of gameplay befriending them and flirting with them and getting super attached to them and emotionally invested in their relationships, I am Actually Going to Be Very Upset.

Like oh my gosh it's dropping so many hints that that's what's going to end up happening and I just really really really really hope there's a way around it because no one wants to see me cry while playing this game.

[stardew-obsessed-ora]

Hello casual viewers of my headcanon posts! Guess what time it is? It’s “Ora stops neglecting Dobson in their HC posts” time! This time, I’m going to be giving what I just know the audience wants, and write some romantic headcanons for the silly Joja Man. 

Word count: 1,873

Notes: im going off of headcanons primarily since this dude has like NO real canon substance.

︶꒷˚̣̣̣︶ ͡𑁬

⋆ ︵︵Romantic Dobson HCs 

You two started off as clear rivals. He was trying to help with the expansion of Joja Corporations within the valley, while you were thwarting his and Morris’s advances with the gradual expansion of the community center. The moment he ran into you he attempted to sell you a Joja Membership along with pitching you a few new products. The moment you shut this man down his attitude entirely goes 180. Unlike Morris who kept a more professional allure to him, Dobson entirely dropped what little care and consideration he had into not being snide or making underhanded remarks toward you. This led to the both of you fighting, which sparked somewhat of a rivalry between the two of you. 

I feel like Dobson’s the kind of guy to entirely brush off how he feels. At first, he’s oblivious, then he realizes, then he dreads it, then he brushes it off and buries his crush for as long as possible. It’s a detriment to his work ethic, it’s getting in the way, it’s preventing him from doing what he needs. It’s preventing him from viewing you in a non-biased manner, and therefore, was bothersome. Nothing in his mind could convince him that falling for you was a good thing, no. It was an obstacle, and he didn’t need to focus on it. After all, the two of you were rivals. You were against what he stood for and you needed to stay out of his way. Nothing good would come from growing soft over you. 

He’d come to terms with the fact that he had “””possibly””” garnered feelings for you when he started actually appreciating the sappier things in life. Rather than turning his nose up at the concept of cheesy romances, he found himself kind of yearning for a similar dynamic. He found himself starting to live life somewhat slower and found himself dwelling on an undeniable loneliness in his heart. Dear Yoba- he was hopeless! What started off as a potential crush had become full pining, and before he could catch himself, he was smiling in your direction more than he’d like to admit.

For a while, he tried to avoid you. 

Then he approached you with caution, then he started talking himself up, and then his usual overzealous attitude had returned, albeit with different motives in mind. He started inviting you out with him, and overtime, would slip more vulnerable aspects of himself into conversation to see how you’d reply. It was an uncharted ground for him, but it felt… nice, oddly enough. He didn’t feel immature or stupid for bringing up more genuine parts of himself. He felt like he could be himself around you. How embarrassing, the one he tried so desperately to thwart was really starting to get to him. 

He doesn’t seem like the type to ask someone out conventionally. He finds the idea terrifying, regardless of how highly he views himself. A part of him realizes that the rejection would utterly crush him for weeks on end, while the other part wants to think it’s because he knows he’s better than to stoop and practically beg someone to be with him. Besides, he hasn’t dated anyone before. Dobson has about as much dating experience as a brick wall. Instead, he takes you out, gets to know you better, figures out as much as he can about you to tailor the absolute perfect way of asking you out.

…Which he overthinks on. To the point he surprises you with a bouquet on one of your outings. As much as he doesn’t want to feed into the confusing traditions of the valley, it seems like the most easy to understand way of telling you how he feels. Instead of saying anything, he merely stares at you with an expression that says “I know you’ll accept but I’m shitting bricks over this.” So basically, his usual smug facial expression laced with indicators that he truly values how you’ll respond. This is accompanied by his foot tapping rhythmically behind him, and his vice grip on the damn bouquet. Poor flowers! 

When you accept, he can’t help but appear noticeably giddy. That professional disposition he puts up melts away as if it were nothing, and he’s practically hopping up and down over the fact that he managed to win you over. 

Do you remember how I said Morris reminded me of a cat coming into a relationship? Dobson’s like a non-socialized kitten in my mind. He doesn’t know how to navigate a relationship, and can come more harsh than loving at times. It takes him a long time to properly warm up, and at times, it seems like he’ll never come around. But he’s trying. 

Dobson strikes me as someone who was forced to be mature a little too early in life. Not to mention the lack of conditioning to any kind of love that wasn’t conditional. As a result, he fears doing anything that could be seen as immature, and also has literally no idea how to be intimate with you. For the first little bit, he seems like he always has. Snobby, pretentious, a little less rude, but he’s slowly warming up. It takes him a while to figure out what his needs are and how he can navigate his relationship. I imagine him as either being a little overbearing at first or extremely distant for a while, then dialing either back and learning how to go at his own pace.  

I imagine he shows his affection as subtle physical gestures, like holding your hand while you’re talking to someone around him, or playing with your hair. He also likes coming behind you and placing a hand against your side. He’s one of those losers who likes showing off that you’re his and how much he cherishes you. Tl;dr, he is very touchy, but doesn’t like doing any overly visible gestures in public. In private, he’s waaayyyy too awkward about it. A part of him worries that your perception of him will change if he acts too strange, while the other feels uncomfortable being so close with someone else. He’s a little spoon. He *can* big spoon, but at heart, he wants to be held. 

As much as he would like to be more of a gift giver, I don’t actually see him as having a massively disposable income. And so, him giving gifts is a bit more of a rarity, but he tries his best to give you something worthwhile. Though, it can be a bit difficult for him to give a gift in a way that isn’t “I just happened to find this. I didn’t know if you’d like it, but- here- it- here!” in regards to anything he noticed you staring at. Bros awkward!! 

While Dobson can cook, he doesn’t care much for doing it. Yes, he can cook meals for himself, yes he was independent for years, no he doesn’t particularly want to cook something for anyone else. And so, rather than offering meals to his S/O, I like imagining he sticks to tidying up the house and asking if he can pick up any chores they forgot to do. He loves doing something, adores being put to a task and exceeding at it, doing housework for you is ABSOLUTELY something he can show off with. 

Dobson’s one of those people who has a more childish side, but genuinely has no idea how to go about expressing it or feeling comfortable with showing it around you. I feel like once he’s able to slowly bring those walls down, however, he’d be one of those people who absolutely adores play fighting or playing mundane, harmless pranks on his S/O. Bonus if he and his S/O end up laughing together and get to rest against one another after. In the first part of his relationship, he prefers sticking to extravagant dates. Sure, they eat a hole in his wallet, but they show he’s capable of planning only the best for his lover. What more could he want? After warming up to them and truly letting bits of himself show, however, he’d start shifting towards more comfortable dates. A home date where they’re both doing work together? Perfect. A museum date? Perfect. Sitting back in a scenic area having a picnic? Sure! Of course, he’d still take you out to the aforementioned fancy places, but they wouldn’t be the only thing to associate with dates with him anymore. Dobson adores movie nights, particularly ones where he and his S/O find the absolute worst garbage on whatever streaming service they’re using and laughing at it. What better way to spend a night than giving commentary on overhyped garbage? Or expending your energy commenting on an abomination that was better off never greenlit? It’s a great way to wean down his more judgmental side while also being able to joke and cut up. Despite his viewpoints on the activities of the townsfolk, I imagine he has a soft spot for the museum. He’s a firm believer in the statement “Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.” As ironic as that may be. He likes looking back on historical documents, objects, and seeing how far the world and its people have advanced since then. It both reassures him and has him questioning whether or not the path he’s gone down was truly worth it. Plus, he’s a rock nerd. I imagine he’d like dates where he gets to go to museums or exhibitions or things of that nature. If you brought this man a geode after you were dating, he’d stare at its luster for around 10 minutes then saunter off to place it near his bed promptly after. Dobson, at heart, is a jealous, insecure fella. I feel like for the first little bit in a relationship he’d need occasional reassurance that he wasn’t doing anything wrong, or that there was nothing to worry about, or that no, because he couldn’t convince his S/O to join Joja that he’s a total failure and that they’re still on opposing sides. Dobson is a man who lives under the concept of bravado and a facade, eventually, his genuine fears and worries start seeping through, and that vulnerable side of him is shown. Dobson, along with this, is the king of overworking. He’s in a high ranking Joja Position at a young age, he’s definitely worked to the bone juggling both college work and Joja Communications work. He has a bad habit of taking on more than he can handle, pulling all nighters, then waltzing around with only energy from a can of carbonated garbage to keep him going. There have definitely been times he’s worked all day, come home, then collapsed on his couch only to realize he had something planned with his S/O not too long after. Does he still try to make these plans? Of course. Does he fail horribly? Yes. It takes his S/O’s constant concern and dejectedness toward him in said state to make him start realizing, “Maybe… I should consider some changes?” TL;DR He is my silly goofer and I see him as a very complex loser. 

[fuzzafterhours]

Penny's Big Breakaway

First played on February 21st 2024 https://store.steampowered.com/app/1955230/Pennys_Big_Breakaway/ I have... a lot to say about this game... I love it, I love it so so SO much, BUT it absolutely wrecks me to say that it is a little under baked. I will start off by saying I was extremely excited to play it since the words "from the team behind sonic mania" were uttered on that one Nintendo direct. I followed development closely and consumed every piece of content that was drip fed throughout the months. I was absolutely floored when the game was shadow dropped. Now, I LOVE 3D platformers, and I'm inclined to call them my favorite game genre. Despite all the flaws I do have with the Penny's I would put it firmly in my top 10. I also want to mention that I'm a little freak that plays games I like in weird ways so any strange issues I have with it might not apply to the average person. I want to talk about the movement first as it is the most important thing to me in a 3D platformer. the game is stellar... when it works... Penny's is one of the smoothest platformers I've ever played until your momentum is cut off by some random bit of jank, whether that be the roll move deciding to randomly stop, environmental hazards like water and lava having 0 grace period, and clipping into walls, which happened way more often than id like to admit. Its clear to me that the game needed a good amount of polish time before shipping. Level design in this game is largely fantastic although I think its a bit homogenized if that makes sense. excuse the dreaded act of comparison but, a similar game like super Mario 3D world for example, designs its levels with a central mechanic in mind and then elaborates on it throughout a level. Penny's does this sometimes but a majority of levels feel like a strange blend of ideas that leads them to feel kind of unfocused. this Isn't necessarily a bad thing as I think the game has free enough movement to warrant it. The game never got boring per say, but id be lying if I said it didn't lose some steam towards the end. I think another part of the game that gradually got a little stale is the art direction and environment design. again, never bad, but I noticed areas getting less creative in the last third of the game. I do however want to say, despite my gripe, this games visual direction is OUTSTANDING and like nothing I've ever seen. it starts incredibly strong and despite becoming a little uncreative it is always a treat to look at. An aspect that I can give absolutely nothing but endless praise is the soundtrack of course. Nearly every song is masterfully composed and instantly memorable. As a big fan of Tee Lopes previous work there was no doubt in my mind that this ost would knock it out of the park. although it is not a one man show, Sean Bialo was a more than welcome addition, they are responsible for some of my favorite tracks on Spark the Electric Jester 3 so it was great seeing them here. Some of my favorite tracks on the Penny ost are:

Puppet Pioneer

Jig's Up, Penny

Outside The Eidophusikon

Balearic Birds

Penny in a Pinch and my absolute favorite track in the game:

Refracting Feelings (Pengo Mix)

I want to exclaim once again, I LOVE this game, its currently a frontrunner for my game of the year and I don't want a couple of minor gripes to taint the view of what is otherwise an excellent, beautiful, and just straight up fun game. Play Penny's, listen to its soundtrack, share it around. We need more games like it. I think everyone at Evening Star should be more than proud of what they've created. I can feel this game oozing with love and passion for the medium and I don't think any minor issue I have with it could take away from that. It wants to exist and it wants YOU to play it.

[akmu-archives]

[140410] ['Raise Your Voice High!'] Article by Woman Chosun

As the lyrics of an anime theme song goes, the two brother and sister musicians who are ‘not pretty but lovely’ have returned. Suhyun and Chanhyuk, the behind-the-scenes stories before and after their debut as they became Akdong Musician.

Do you remember the sibling duo Akdong Musician who came from Mongolia? These two friends captivated the audience two years ago with their unique lyrics, unconventional looks, and kind voices. They recently released their first full-length album and revealed their inner selves through an essay. From homeschooling in Mongolia to becoming real "celebrities" after the audition, listen to their story.

Ugly?

Akdong Musician's appearance has as much "impact" as their music. First, they don't look like identical artificial humans, and second, it's surprising how cute and lovable their slanted eyes and protruding mouths can be. Above all, they're firmly against cosmetic surgery.

"My nose is very small. People send me pictures of flat-nosed ugly dolls, saying, 'Suhyun, there's someone who looks just like you.' But what can I do, even I think the ugly doll’s nose looks very similar to mine! One day, President Yang Hyun-suk also laughed and said, 'Suhyun, your nose...?'. I was surprised and stood there, and he said, 'It's really cute.' That's a relief. He didn't say that I'm ugly like everyone else does, but that I'm cute because my nose is small." (Suhyun)

Chanhyuk has been wearing glasses since he made it to the finals. It's not because he has bad eyesight. He thinks they are the 'high point' of fashion in their own way. He also says that they are like a frame that brings out different aspects of himself and captures them like a work of art.

"I wear glasses because I think they make me look much cooler on stage, but also as I want to look a little more like a musician than I do now. At the age of 18, the word 'musician' still doesn't feel familiar to me. [...] Of course, my eyesight is as good as a Mongolian eagle, so glasses are just the accessories on my face. What I need is a frame to put my image in. At some point, the number of frames gradually increased, reaching 40. During that time, I met a variety of people and showed myself over 40 sides of myself." (Chanhyuk)

Have You Ever Tried Homeschooling in Mongolia?

Two years ago, Akdong Musician was in the spotlight with their unique music style and unconventional looks. A columnist at that time interpreted their free-spirited musical world as "the bottom line is free-range." It's true. How could the emotions of these two who rode horses and ran through the grasslands while being homeschooled instead of going to school and attending academies be bland? It is undeniable that their out-of-the-box thinking was the musical nourishment of Akdong Musician.

"It didn't take long for me to realize that not going to school is not all good. If you avoid doing something just because you don't want to, it becomes even more difficult! [...] In conclusion, studying at home is a dozen times harder than studying at school. [...] What I realized after dropping out of school is that school isn't such a bore after all. How ironic!" (Suhyun)

Chanhyuk, who had an ordinary school life in Korea until the 5th grade of elementary school, found himself in the situation(?) of attending MK School in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia the following year. However, his worries were just temporary. It was only a matter of time for him to adapt to Mongolia, the land of Genghis Khan and the grasslands.

"My Dad wanted to come to Mongolia so much that he persuaded my Mom for five years, convinced us by telling stories about Mongolia. My parents came to Mongolia with a 'missionary' purpose, but I followed them without knowing anything. It was the same for Suhyun. [...] The landscape of our family's travels also changed. On weekends, when the uncles I knew came to pick up my family to go play in the meadow, we would get in the car and drive through the field. It was as if the earth was round, I ran and ran across the fields as if I would meet the whole world if I kept going forward." (Chanhyuk)

Dad, a warm and friend-like presence

'It was a sight that I couldn't have imagined within the framework of what I understood about Chanhyuk. I realized that I had misunderstood Chanhyuk before.' This was what Akdong Musician’s father Lee Seunggeun said in an interview with a daily newspaper. It seems like the father was quite surprised by seeing his son's lively presence on TV. However, if you listen to Chanhyuk's story, you can see that it is his father's interest and love what makes him who he is today.

"In truth, all this time, I've been writing novels and composing music just to see my Dad feel happy. Every time, my Dad would look at me with eyes full of expectation, which gave me infinite courage. So I wanted to work harder, more and more, to do well every moment. […] My Dad's compliments are filled with sincerity. In the past, his praises were just at the level of 'Good', but this time, he pointed out specific things about each part of the song I sang, like the finishing touches were good, the sound was good, and so on. My Dad said he was living alone in Mongolia, and would watch the parts we appeared in repeatedly at night when he came home. On my dad's SNS, there were posts about me every day.

'Amazing, amazing, amazing.'" (Chanhyuk)

Dreaming of Music

A girl dreaming of Berkeley College of Music, a boy who didn't even know he had a talent for composing. The younger sister with a clear dream and the older brother who couldn't figure out his future were unknowingly sharing one intersection called music. Moreover, since they are siblings bonded by blood, there couldn't be a better compatibility than this.

"Is there any place on this planet where you can't go even if you say you want to? Even if it's a difficult place like Berkeley, I wouldn't cave in. I thought that one should always aim high when it comes to college or dreams, and Berkeley was the highest goal I could reach. When a goal had been set in my mind, I would draw a picture of it." (Suhyun)

Unlike Suhyun, who said she would go to Berkeley College of Music no matter what anyone said, Chanhyuk unknowingly had music ingrained in his body. He learned the guitar watching his dad, who played it so well that his hands were full of calluses. Then, after listening to a song composed by an older brother he knew, he thought, 'Should I give it a try too?' And that became the beginning of his composition. As his family continued to encourage him, Chanhyuk realized. 'Ah, I guess I’m good at something too.'

"Since I started composing, I have welcomed a new life. They were just songs I made just as they came to mind, yet they were met with reactions from my parents that were truly 'big bang.' Especially after dinner, my Dad said he wanted to hear our songs as a dessert. [...]

When I opened my eyes to music like this, melodies that were hiding somewhere inside me came out of my head as if they had found an exit. It seemed like there were so many songs hidden in my heart, since wasn't it true that I had had a lot to say all this time? Some days, I even received song orders from my friends. "Don’t cross your legs, how about that?" (Chanhyuk)

I Want to Become a Hardworking Genius

"It is said that a genius cannot defeat a hardworking person, and a hardworking person cannot defeat someone who enjoys what they do. Effort is always a necessary condition for success," says Akdong Musician.

"Before, I didn't know what it meant to work hard. I thought it was different from just doing what you like, that studying was what it meant to work hard. [...] A hardworking person must succeed. That's what makes the world fair! It is said that everyone in the world is born with some amount of talent. To make the most of that talent, you've got to work hard. [...] Only by putting in effort would you become something in the future. I am optimistic about my future. I love my practice room more than anything else, as if it were my own home!" (Suhyun)

YG Entertainment, home to Big Bang and 2NE1, became Akdong Musician's new home. In their early days, they attended concerts by Daesung of Big Bang, who was also known within the team for his entertainment skills. On that day, Chanhyuk confessed that he saw a 'charismatic' Daesung, not the 'funny' Daesung. Witnessing firsthand how Daesung captivated the audience made him realize the tangible results of hard work and sweat.

"After <K-Pop Star> was over, while we were still swept up in the excitement of victory, Suhyun and I went to Japan with CEO Yang Hyunsuk and Lee Hi. It was to attend Big Bang Daesung's concert. Perhaps because we went with the CEO, our seats were in the VIP section on the second floor. [...] To sum it up in a word, I was literally in 'brain freeze' mode. Until then, our stages had always been modest and small. It was the first time I fully felt what it truly meant to dominate a stage, and what it meant to communicate with fans." (Chanhyuk)

Source: 악동뮤지션의 못 다한 이야기

[speakingagain]

TW: Abuse, domestic abuse, S ideation and plans, cheating, sexual assault mentioned......Read at your own risk. I don't go into detail on it, just brief mentions.

------------------------------------------------------------

Today I have had, what feels like, a lot more reminders of my ex. And not the kind that makes me want to drink and then text him at 3 am saying "I miss you."

No.

The kind of thoughts that swing between pissing me off and just reminding me how much I need therapy.

The kind that makes me want to heal and move on.

Nothing pisses me off quite as much as realizing how much, despite not seeing him in almost a year, and being broken up with him for almost two years, he still impacts my life every damn day.

And you would think that it might be in at least SOME positive way, right? Maybe?

I had some happy memories with him. I had good days with him. He made me feel loved sometimes. He was my safe place sometimes. He was my confidant, he was my best friend, he was the center of my universe.

I should have something positive that results from me thinking of him.

So why the fuck, is it so damn hard to feel any sort of happy emotion towards him?

Every single memory of him, is now tainted. Nothing about him is happy, safe, loving, or reassuring. Nothing about him makes me miss him. Not even a little bit bit.

And the most fucked up thing is I am not even sure I'm mad at him anymore. Not for the lies, the cheating, the domestic abuse, the emotional or financial abuse, the manipulation, or gaslighting. No, I hold nothing in my heart for him except disappointment.

All the anger and frustration is now aimed towards myself.

"But Mae, why are you mad at yourself?" Good question, imaginary person reading this.

I stayed for five years. I still haven't divorced him, and I've made no such effort to. I knew he was abusive. I knew he lied. I knew he was cheating. I knew he spent all my money. I knew he was ruining my credit. I knew he was manipulative. I knew about the anger problems. I knew about his fucked up family. I knew about how he would weaponize his incompence. I knew that he was an idiot.

And I stayed for five fucking years.

I spent all of those years coming up with different bullshit excuses to stay.

"He's not always like this."

"He's just having a bad day."

"He would never actually hurt me."

"His parents did this, it's all he knows."

"He said he wouldn't do it again."

"He said he would get therapy."

"He said he would change."

"He loves me."

"I still love him."

"I have nowhere else to go."

"No one else wants me."

"It's not real domestic abuse unless he hits me. He just throws things around me. He just breaks my things. He just-"

"I don't want to fight him anymore."

"He won't let me leave."

"He will fight me on taking Sable."

All of these were lies. Not a single one was true. And they all gradually just become more bullshitty and held less hope. And I know, I have no control of his actions. I have no way of stopping him. I couldn't control him. I couldn't fix him.

But I could have left.

I could have protected my dog Sable from so much abuse. I could have kept her safe. I could have kept myself safe. I could have left so much sooner.

I knew the signs of abuse and of a narcissist. I grew up with my POS of a father. I had seen every aspect of abuse. I had seen the hatred and gaslighting. I had seen the lies and manipulation. I had seen it all. I knew what it looked like.

But I wanted desperately to prove to myself and my family that I knew what I was doing, that I could have the happy-ever-after, and that I was lovable. Unfortunately, that made me a target for someone who's really good at manipulating situations. (Well that and I had recently been sexually assaulted but that's a whole other story.)

I was traumatized for many reasons, 18 years old, and thought I had the world figured out. I had just been kicked out of my parents house, dropped out of high school, finished up Job Corp, and had no where else to go. I felt completely abandoned.

Granted, this was all the natural consequences of my own actions, and I now can take full accountability on that part. But I had never felt more alone in my entire life, and he took full advantage of that.

My family drifted away, because he had become my knight in shining armor and he told me they didn't want to be happy for me. My friends tried warning me, but I lashed out because even my best friends didn't support me in finding happiness.

I had suddenly, and very effectively, been secluded from my support system.

And it only got worse from there.

My health took a dive, and I was in and out of the hospital for 3 months due to severe GERD, and I was unable to eat anything for a solid 3 months without it coming back up. Doctors thought I had stomach cancer and I was on multiple medications to try and manage my symptoms while trying to find a diagnosis. I was unable to work for those three months, and he spent the whole time working and taking care of me. During this time, I ended up getting a kidney infection that got me hospitalized over night. I was given morphine for the pain and apparently kept telling the overnight nurse she was very pretty.

My ex proposed to me that night about 20 minutes after I was given meds. I actually laughed at him. We had only been dating for 6 months. He couldn't be serious.

I noticed he wasn't laughing and realized he was serious. He said that he was so scared I was going to die that he didn't want to live another day without me.

Sober me knows that crazy. Morphine me thought it was crazy but I was getting my Disney happy-ever-after and nothing was more romantic.

Sober me wants to hit 19 year old me with a cricket bat.

He didn't even have a ring. Didn't get down on one knee. Didn't even hold my hand. Didn't even kiss me. He sat on the couch across the room and played on his phone.

That was the least romantic thing he could have done.

He never got more romantic either.

I once begged him to hold my hand because he wouldn't do it around his friend/our roommates.

I once deep cleaned our entire room and made a slide show, complete with music, videos and animation to show him how much he meant to me for our one year anniversary. He yelled at me for bothering him after he got home from work. Two nights later he got into a screaming match with me saying I never do anything for him.

That night was the first time I stood up for myself against him. I told him if that's the case, he can get out of the apartment I was renting under my name, and that I, solely, was paying for it. He back tracked real quick and said, "That's not what I meant."

At the next place we rented together, he got fired because he hit a deer with a company car (among other things). I worked 70+ hours every week for months on end because he was too sad to work. I gave it to him, because he gave me the 3 months while I was sick. And he actually used it against me.

Then he began drinking. This was around October/November of 2020, so beginning of the pandemic. I was supposed to go home for Thanksgiving to see my family but Covid is a bitch. So we all canceled a few days before we were supposed to go down. I was devastated, I was seriously home sick, and severely burned out. I cried the whole 4 days I had off because I missed my family deeply. His response was to tell me to knock it off and play call of duty while cussing out 12 year olds because he was a sore loser.

A month later for Christmas, his dad, him and I were supposed to have Christmas dinner together. Our roommates were gone for the holiday, so I planned on making a whole Christmas dinner. But I had just worked a 16 hour shift over night and I asked to get a few hours of sleep before I started cooking. I felt that was a reasonable request.

While I was asleep, he and his dad left me to go have dinner together without me. I woke up and noticed he was gone and had sent a text explaining where he was.

Me being the petty bitch I was, responded back passive aggressively. "Gee thanks for leaving me alone on Christmas."

This, of course, turned into an argument and he came back home and we had it out. He eventually screamed, "what do you want from me?"

I told him I wanted him to love me and make me a priority for once. I told him that he knew how much Christmas meant to me, and how I didn't even get to see my family. I told him that he abandoned me because he was hungry when he could have waited an hour and he would have a hot meal on the table for both him and his dad.

His response was to fall over and have a stress induced seizure (they were very common for him) and then when he came to, he went and drank half a bottle of vodka in the laundry room by himself.

I originally ignored him having a seizure because I figured he was doing it for sympathy and to get out of trouble, as he had done in the past. Of course, he began to aspirate his own vomit and it is a little hard to fake that. I did get him into the recovery pose and made sure his didn't hurt himself but then I ignored him after his seizure, and went and made myself dinner.

I made my some chili with a family recipe in a crockpot. Not even intending to share with his asshole of a father or him.

While I was cooking, he demanded we take pictures in the shirts my mom had made us for Christmas to send to my family to show how happy we were. Mind you, I had just stopped crying at this point, and it was obvious in the pictures.

My family didn't respond to them at all.

And he demanded we feed his Dad who had shown up again because I "ruined his Christmas". His dad ate a whole bowl, and my ex ate about three bites before saying he wasn't hungry and then left it on a shelf till it molded. I got barely any of it due to only cooking enough for myself and a bit of left overs.

He did this with every meal I made him, so I stopped cooking for him entirely and only ever made myself food.

For our third year anniversary, we took the weekend off, got a babysitter for our dog, and rented a hotel room nearby just to escape and try to rekindle the romance. All planned for and paid by me of course. It went well, until after dinner. I asked him to rub my back due to the bed being very uncomfortable and you know....trying to get some. It was my anniversary, sue me.

He, sitting on the second queen bed, said "Maybe later, I'm watching TV." And honestly, normally I don't care if he says no. He had every right to say no. I was upset at the fact that he had been refusing to touch me (even just like hand holding) for months. I was upset that he was more interested in watching TV than doing something even remotely romantic with me.

It was cold as shit outside and snowing, and I had only warn a cute dress and some comfy pajamas for over night. I wasn't going on a walk to clear my head. So I did the only other thing I could think of. I went into the bathroom and cried in the bathtub. He only came looking for me because he also needed to use the bathroom and I had been in there a while. I had full intentions on sleeping in that bathtub too. I didn't want to share a room with him at all.

He eventually did get me out of the bathroom, and we cuddled for a bit before he went back to the TV, sitting on the other bed and I fell asleep, giving up hope.

These multiple examples are what I would consider the good years of our marriage. And only three years in.

Turns out, 6 months before this, he had actually gotten himself a sugar mommy and had started his long line of cheating. And I had no idea.

Not until he would disappear for hours and say he was out delivering food for Uber Eats. Mind you, I had his account on my phone and can track the amount of time online doing deliveries, all of which said 0 time spent delivering. Not to mention he made NO money whatsoever.

Then he got super possessive of his phone and would turn it away from me. And then would always go through my phone and accuse me of hiding mine.

Then he would accuse me of having a thing for my one friend I had managed to make in Utah despite living there for 3 years at this point.

And then he started asking weird questions like, "What would you do if I cheated on you?" "Have you ever wanted to cheat on me?" "Have you ever cheated on me?"

It took a long time for me to actually decide to go through his phone.

I knew deep down he was cheating. There were too many signs and he was being too weird about everything. After talking to one of my coworkers, she convinced me that there was something definitely wrong. That I needed to look.

I was right. Of course, I was right.

I didn't want to be. I didn't want to believe it. He was my person. My best friend. My safe place. The one I could always trust.

*ERRRRRR* WRONG ANSWER BITCH

Around this time, I had a whole ass melt down. I shaved the sides of my head, eventually giving myself a pixie cut. I went to my brother's wedding and almost didn't come home. I became severely depressed and had written out a note to everyone I loved and had made a plan to end it. But I was too sad to get out of bed to do it. I quit my job, but that was a long time coming.

I barely left my apartment for two months.

Eventually I got a job working in a treatment center for teens. Lots of therapy related work. I quickly realized that everything I was preaching to the kids about how they deserve to be loved, respected and have boundaries will only mean so much if I'm not living it myself too.

So I got a therapist, got my meds fixed so I wasn't so depressed, and began holding up boundaries.

He didn't like that, and he only became more angry. We fought more. He broke more shit.

We had attempted to work on things together, but he kept cheating and eventually "fell in love" with his boss/friend and planned on telling her. I found a love note for her on the coffee table. I was actually talking to a suicide hotline person before I found it. I had made a plan to stay safe with her and was given resources if I couldn't. I was just having a really bad night and couldn't sleep. And that's always a bad combination.

But I found the note and I started laughing. I woke his lazy ass up at 3 am and handed it to him. He immediately started groveling. I told him, "I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm done." And I had a huge fucking smile on my face.

I was free.

I was finally fucking free.

I guess he came clean to his boss and she messaged me a few days later, apologizing and saying she would stay away from him. I told her, it's cool, I don't even care. I was gay anyways.

I am bi, but not totally gay. But it was the best way I could think of to avoid any further unnecessary complications and emotional annoyances coming from him or her. And how I rationalized me not being attracted to him for the last year (womp womp).

I did not give a shit anymore.

That was probably the most liberating moment of my life.

I didn't give a fuck.

I was done.

The only thing I regret about that moment, is that it didn't come sooner.

And the fact that, I had spent the last few years of my life raising an adult despite knowing exactly what he was doing.

And you know what?

It is okay.

You had to learn, one way or another. And you learned a lot from him. Many hard and difficult lessons.

You learned and you grew. And you're still learning. And you're still growing.

And I'm so proud of you for finding your worth. I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself and taking the steps to love yourself and to make your life better. I am so proud of who you're becoming. I am so proud of you.

And I forgive you for staying. I forgive you for lying to yourself. I forgive you for keeping Sable and yourself in an abusive home. I forgive you for not standing up for yourself. I forgive you for valuing yourself as less than. I forgive you for making yourself small. I forgive you for thinking you're broken, and that no one else will want you.

You are good. You are strong. You are beautiful. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be safe. You deserve forgiveness. You deserve strength and growth. You deserve better.

And I am so proud of you.

[zoeykallus]

Hi ! I hope you're a ok ! First, thanks for all this content about the Bad Batch ♥. So... if you take yet any request can you make a F!Reader/SO learning to fight with the boys ? It could be very funny and cute. (only if it inspires you, of course!)

Aloha!

I'm doing good, thanks! Hope you are okay too :)) F!Reader learning how to fight from the boys, coming right up...

The Bad Batch x F!Reader HC's - Learn To Protect Yourself

Hunter

"You're holding the knife way too tense. You need a strong but flexible grip. Look here, I'll show you"

Hunter takes the knife from your hand and shows you exactly how he holds it, then he makes a few motions and turns the knife several times, deftly changing his grip, backhand, forehand, twist, stabbing motion, and again. Finally, he shows you a few other moves and wants you to copy them.

You take the knife in your hand again, a few of the grips work immediately, but then it falls out of your hand at the second grip change.

"Crap!"

Hunter laughed softly.

"Patience. You're just getting started. It didn't work right away for me either."

You frown critically and say, "I kind of can't imagine"

Crosshair, sitting in the background watching, says, "Yes you can. He kept dropping his knife and cut himself a few times while changing his grip"

Hunter grumbles, "Quiet in the cheap seats."

Crosshair smirks cheekily and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

It takes a while, but Hunter is a patient teacher, and you learn how to handle the knife faster than you think, even throwing it at targets gradually works out better and better.

Hunter smiles at you and says, "See, Mesh'la, I knew you could do it."

Of course, you are proud and train even more, showing him what you can do.

Crosshair watching again says, "Maybe she should stop training now, she's getting better than you".

Hunter sighs and tries to ignore his brother, but then says to you, "He's not wrong, you've gotten really good".

Full of pride, you beam at him and look over at Crosshair.

"I bet I can hit Crosshair from here," you joke.

The Sniper cocks a brow at you.

"Excuse me?" he grumbles.

Hunter smirks and says, "Worth a shot."

Crosshair stands up and walks back into the Marauder, "You're both morons, you really are a wonderful match"

Echo

He teaches you to shoot from cover, as well as to take cover while shooting. Echo watches you copy what he showed you. Not every shot is a hit, but most are.

"Not so bad for a start," he says with satisfaction, "Be careful where you take cover, if you're really protected, and never forget to cover your back, especially if you're alone on the field."

You nod thoughtfully and look at the blaster, then back at him.

"I think I could handle a lighter blaster better. This thing is way too unwieldy for me. Too clunky and too heavy"

Echo smiles, surprised and pleased.

"That's actually a very important aspect, know your equipment and use what works best for you", he says proudly to you, "We'll find something suitable for you"

And you do, with a blaster that is much more suitable for you, you do the exercises again, and you hit many more targets.

Echo is very pleased and gives his brothers watching a proud look.

"Good work ad'ika!" exclaims Wrecker, clapping his hands.

"Thanks, Wrecker," you say, a little breathless from the workout.

Echo approaches you and says, "That was really good, Cyare."

You smile at him, press a gentle kiss to his chin and say, "I want to get even better, I want to be the perfect back up for you, my beloved."

He wraps an arm around you, pulls you close and leans his forehead against yours.

"Is this part of the training? Is she supposed to break free from his grip or something?" asks Wrecker, a little confused.

Hunter laughs, "No Wrecker, come on, let's give these two some privacy."

Wrecker

He shows you how to use detonators and bombs. How to disarm them and build them, and also how to use them most effectively. You didn't expect it, to be honest, but the knowledge Wrecker has is actually incredibly complicated and damn hard to learn.

But Wrecker is very patient and a good teacher, he takes his time, explains understandably and listens carefully to your questions and concerns. It doesn't matter if you take longer to learn the material, Wrecker is happy to take the time whenever he can to teach you.

"Mesh'la, relax, you are way too tense".

"Wrecker, this is a bomb exploding, destroying and killing, yes I am tense" you say grumpily.

He laughs softly and says, "For now, it's still a dummy".

With a sigh you drop the tool in frustration, the countdown starts and the dummy envelops you both in smoke.

Wrecker waves the smoke away and crouches down next to you, even crouching down he seems huge as you sit there on the floor.

You drop your shoulders and sigh again, tired and annoyed. You finally want to get this right. Wrecker is a great teacher, but you're too nervous every time to apply what you've learned.

He places a gentle kiss on your head and says, "Don't hang your head, I know you understand by now, I know you can do it. You're just too nervous, you're getting in your own way, but we'll get there".

You look up at him and his expression is gentle and understanding that makes you feel warm. You smile.

"I love you," you say honestly.

Wrecker beams at you.

"I love you too, Mesh'la."

You straighten up, pat the dust off your pants, and say, "Let's take a dinner break. I'll make my famous sandwiches, then we'll get back to work with renewed energy"

Wrecker stands up as well.

"That sounds like a very good plan," he says before gently taking your chin in his hand, lifting your head slightly and pressing a kiss to your lips.

Tech

You had to memorize the entire manual of the Marauder before he would agree to give you flying lessons. The manual is thicker and more extensive than expected, so it takes quite a frustrating while.

Tech quizzes you over and over, but as soon as you get a number or anything else wrong or don't remember, he stops the questioning.

"Read it over again, Cyare".

The way he brushes you off and sends you back to your reading material starts to annoy you. It happens so often that you reach a point where you want to yell at him, even though you usually love him dearly.

"Shall we try the quizzing again today?" he asks with a small, smile.

"No," is your curt reply.

Puzzled, he looks at you, "Why not?"

"Don't ask, you don't want to hear the answer," you grumble.

Tech frowns worriedly, he senses at this moment how much your mood has changed regarding the lessons, and he doesn't like that at all. In the beginning, you were very willing and eager to learn from him. Now, you are clearly not.

He watches you walk away from him and down the ramp to leave the Marauders. He scratches the back of his neck thoughtfully. Crosshair crosses his path, and he stops his brother short.

"I need to talk to you"

The Sniper stops and looks at Tech questioningly.

"What is it?"

"Y/N, she seems angry with me. Am I being too strict with the lessons?"

Crosshair says bluntly, "You're annoyingly meticulous, you never praise her when she does something right, and you exaggerate, as usual"

Tech slumps his shoulders.

"I understand."

Crosshair grumbles, "Let her fly the damn ship already, at least as a co-pilot, I'm sure she'll be happy"

Tech heeds the suggestion. He flies with you in space and in the atmosphere, showing you maneuvers and how to fly under the radar. When he lets you take the wheel, you are skeptical at first.

"What's the catch?" you ask, lurking.

Tech smiles a little abashed and says, "There is no catch."

When you finally fly the Marauder the feeling is indescribable, you also do almost everything right except for one tiny little thing, but Tech is pleased with you so far, at least that's what he says.

"Was that good?" you ask, looking at him, scrutinizing.

He leans over to steal a kiss and says, "Very good, my love."

Crosshair

Crosshair sighs and says quietly, "You're way too tense, no wonder you can't hit anything."

You lie on the ground with him, in the dirt, sniper rifle at the ready. You understand what he is telling you, you understand everything, and you know everything there is to know about the weapon. Yet you barely hit anything.

"I'm nervous"

He cocks a brow at you.

"Why?"

"Because of you."

Crosshair frowns.

"What kind of nervous?"

"Any kind"

He chuckles, "Why is that?"

You put the rifle down in frustration and say, "I don't know"

"You're trying to impress me, and you're putting too much pressure on yourself" He says calmly.

"You could say that, yes"

"Kitten, I'm only human. It doesn't matter how you feel about me or what I can do better or worse. This is a learning process, we all go through it, I didn't know everything from day one either."

Crosshair stands up and says, "I'll get us some water and some snacks, we'll probably stay out here for a while"

You watch as he walks back into the shuttle. When he is out of sight, you pick up the gun again and try again. You take a deep breath, think about what you've learned, and pull the trigger. Finally, you hit the target, several times in a row.

Suddenly you hear him behind you, "I knew you could do it".

Startled, you look behind you. He stands there, arms crossed with a wry smile on his face.

"You tricked me," you say in surprise.

"And it worked," he says with satisfaction.

You smile back, take aim again, and fire. Another hit.

"I guess we got over the tension," he says, amused, and lies back down with you.

He grabs your chin to turn your face in his direction and kisses you.

"Good job, Kitten."

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@puppetswithteeth

@palliateclaws

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@starwarsnerd111

[bye-bye-sunbird]

Hi ~ I saw an ask about an unwilling lover and was wondering about the opposite ^^ Can you make yandere Xiao, Zhongli and Childe with a willing lover? Something like: Darling hasn't been kidnapped yet and desperately wants love from anyone, and when they discover they have a stalker, they try their best to love their yandere. This is obviously more of an attempt to fill a hole in their heart than an actual true love, but it doesn't matter, right? Sorry if asks are closed >.>

Acquiescence | Yan!Liyue x Reader

Warnings: Slight N-SFW, dark themes, general yandere themes, emotional horror, tw: depression, tw: isolation, tw: victim-blaming, tw: damaged self-esteem, this is NOT a healthy relationship.

“I had built up false pictures in my mind and sat before them. I had never had the courage to demand the truth.” ― Daphne du Maurier.

Prologue

A feeling of emptiness had always invaded your mind like an unwanted visitor refusing to leave. You longed for something, anything that would give you purpose and importance.

You had entered a vicious cycle of hope and disappointment early in your life that gradually began to wear you down as time passed. The guilt for every inconvenience you caused, great or small, stayed with you, turning into larger shadows that darkened your sense of self.

Without ever meaning to, you became shy and devoted to the smallest drops of happiness you could find. Having spent so many years alone, it became difficult for you to connect with others the way you wanted to, without the restraints of self-consciousness and self-perceived awkward inability to give a good first impression.

Sadly, you were not aware of all of those people who admired your kindness and selflessness. Your mind never allowed you to see the grateful smile of the old lady you always stopped every morning to talk to, erasing her own loneliness with your warmth. Or the admiration in your young neighbor's eyes as you repaired his broken toy yet again, without a single reproach ever leaving your lips.

You were loved, deservedly so, by everyone who crossed your path. Life could have been so different for you if only the right kind of people saw the hurt behind the walls you so quietly protected.

If only...

Childe

To be fair, you never stood a chance against him.

Your gentle, trusting demeanor that was once your greatest virtue is turned into nothing but your own doom in his hands.

He's aware that you don't actually love him, he just doesn't care. To him, it's just a matter of time.

After all, he can give you everything you wanted and more.

He can sense every weakness, every little insecurity of yours, and use it to his advantage.

He tells you about his childhood home, and how he hopes for you to meet his family.

You know that he's manipulating you, and he knows that you know.

If anything makes things more interesting for him.

Because... you stay. And let yourself be trapped in his web.

Whatever he asks for, you give it to him. Be it the increasing amount of time he demands from you, or other, darker requests.

"Oh, Angel. You are always so tense! It's ok, I find it cute, actually."

You close your eyes and hope that pleasure will eventually override your uneasiness. Your body yields to all that your soul finds most abhorrent.

Worst of all, you find a hellish delight in it.

A part of you hopes that one day you'll grow to love him.

After all, he's there to provide every bit of the closeness you crave for.

You know the price... and pay it anyways.

"Pain is pleasure, isn't that right sweetpea?"

Xiao

He's the most conflicted about it. He's the one to at least try to put your feelings into consideration at first, but once he savors what you are so willing to give him, it becomes some sort of addiction.

The way he can make you feel needed is what traps you.

You can sense his suffering, the way he craves for your touch, your smiles, your mere presence.

So you stay with him, you care for him, you let him do what he pleases.

Everything starts innocently enough, he just wants to be near you.

He listens to you, never quite understanding your own struggles.

He tries everything you cook for him, despite only liking his usual almond tofu.

He rests his head on your shoulder, softly closing his eyes, even though he knows that his dreams could only bring him pain.

His lips tremble in your skin, he knows he doesn't deserve this.

He knows you don't love him... Or maybe, just maybe, you actually do? Maybe you are just not acquainted with this feeling yet, but you can be one day, right?

So it's okay if he keeps taking what he wants from you.

You delude yourself thinking that is okay at least, you believe that you need him like he needs you.

But he'll always want more. His eyes are now always strangely clouded.

"Stay still, stay still. Just... once more."

Zhongli

You never truly see any red flags when it comes to this dapper gentleman.

How lucky you are to have such an intelligent, generous, and mature man interested in you.

The fact that you can't truly return his feelings? That's another proof of your constant self-sabotage. But don't worry, he's here to fix you... like one would fix a doll.

He slowly takes control over every aspect of your life. What you wear, what you eat, what you do, what you think.

You look more beautiful than ever, love. Has that old lady said that your eyes don't shine like they used to? Old, lonely people say the darndest of things.

Even so, hearing those things can't be good to you, who is so sensitive to the opinions of others. You should stop seeing her.

His controlling behavior never comes in the form of an order, ever. These are just suggestions to make your life better.

If you were to fail his high expectations, he would never get mad at you dear, he'd just be disappointed™.

After all, your life has gotten better, hasn't it? It's normal to relapse into old habits that do you no good.

His shadow overwhelms you. You grow smaller and quieter each day that passes. You yearn to please him, in any way he wants.

"Don't need to fret my love, there are things you are yet to learn."

[orangexmachina]

I've been seeing a lot of misinformation about cults for a while now, and they are my special interest, so it annoys me a lot. Here's a quick rundown of how cults work and misconceptions about them. (Warning for discussions of gaslighting, mind control, religious abuse, child abuse, and sexual control. We're talking about cults here.)

Misconception: All religions are technically cults.

First of all, cults are not strictly religious. A cult can form around anything, whether it be political views, a need for personal connection, sex and marriage, spirituality, pop culture, or religion. Religion is just one aspect of some cults, although a lot of dominant cults such as Jehovahs Witnesses get by by claiming to be religions or using religious messages to make their doctrine easy to process. To "diagnose" a cult most people use the BITE method. This method was created by Steven Hassan, and more information can be found about it online, but here's the basic premise.

B - Behaviour control

This is regulation of a person's life to an intrusive degree: deciding who they may marry, control of clothes, control of diet, financial exploitation, rewarding good behaviour, punishing bad behaviour, threats of harm.

I - Information control

This is controlling the information that goes in and out of a cult member. Minimising access to information from outside the cult, preventing members from talking to those who are outside the cult or former members, preventing members from going to school or higher education, propaganda and blackmail.

T - Thought control

This is getting inside a members head and convincing them of a certain reality till they think like the rest of the cult. Black and white thinking, use of loaded language, encouraging only "good" thoughts, forbidding questions, hypnotising, encouraging drug abuse.

E - Emotional control

Promoting the idea that certain emotions are evil and should be reacted to with guilt and horror. This can also be blackmail, threatening your friends and family, instilling unworthiness, ritualistic confession of sins, phobia creating, telling members that members that leave the cult are weak willed or brainwashed.

Some would argue that many religions have aspects of the BITE model. Catholics, for example, utilise ritualistic confession and feelings of guilt or unworthiness. Islam requests men and women to dress in a certain way. Many different religions have dietary rules and regulations.

However, simply possessing one or two aspects of the BITE model is not enough to define a cult. Many believe that because they are devout atheists or renounce gods that they are immune to cults. To them, I respond with that one Garfield meme.

You are not immune to propaganda.

Cults prey on our instinctual need for a strong community as well as our tendency towards becoming xenophobic (not to other countries but to people outside our communities).

In this way, they target lonely people, people who have no family, people with mental health issues. Basically, anyone who is prone to seeking some kind of insider knowledge. People like to feel as if they are part of something that nobody else knows about. We like to feel like individuals on the fringes of society while maintaining an insider status because of our desire to be loved.

There is no shame in being drawn into a cult.

Cults operate like mass abusive relationships, and they don't drop you in in the deep end like people imagine. Instead, they gradually entice you in, until they have information on you that you do not want shared or they have the ability to threaten loved ones. Then there is little way out.

People who join cults are not naive idiots who like chanting. As much as pop culture and cynics try and convince you that they are. Thinking that way is a surefire way to not notice when you fall into a cult yourself. Nobody is immune to cult tactics, and believing that you are too clever to fall for them is dangerous. When joining any spiritual, religious group or a group that deals with mental health, I really recommend looking for the signs of the BITE methods of control as well as googling the group to see if anyone has had any experiences with them. There are so many excellent resources online.

Thanks if you read this far. It's a long post, but I felt it was important to me to make it. I don't want people to live in constant fear that they may get indoctrinated into a cult but I also don't want people to not be aware when they are falling into one because it doesn't look like the movies. Keep being individuals and stay safe.

[anime-grimmy-art]

Told you guys I’d ramble in due time.

I absolutely adore Bravely Default 2. It came at a really bad time cos I can’t waste 70 hours on a jrpg, but well, it’s too late to be concerned about that now. And as is tradition with me obsessing over a new game / show / whatever, you’ll basically find a fullblown review disguised as ramblings right under the cut. Be aware that I’m gonna talk about EVERYTHING, so spoilers are a given. Some maybe even for the previous Bravely Default games.

Also, if you wanna talk about this game in any capacity, hit me up, I’m DESPERATE to talk more about it.

Just for reference on how long this is gonna be, I made a voice recording while driving to remember all the points I wanna make, and that recording is almost 2 hours long. I did cut it down but still, this is gonna be a lot.

I’ll start off with the things that actually bugged me about the game, since there are only 3 things that really bothered me. First of, I really don’t like that you can name Seth. He has too much personality to be a self insert and player integration is not that big of a part in the game that this decision can be justified. It wouldn’t bother me that much if it didn’t leave a bad mark on the ending. First of all, we were robbed of Gloria desperately shouting for Seth, which makes the impact work less, and it’s just so prevalent that the name can’t be said because you have all the normal sound design going. If they’d just let the credits still play I wouldn’t have batted an eye, but because every other sound comes in it’s so obvious they’re just silently shouting in this scene, which makes it look silly. Like I said, this decision is more a detriment than an addition, and it’s a shame it casts a shadow on an otherwise heartfelt ending.

Speaking about lost potential, the other thing that really bothers me is the lost potential in certain plot points and character conclusions. I mainly mean Adam and Edna here. Both of them have been built up to be these formidable foes but they just, die. If it was just Adam I’d be fine with it, since you expect Edna to backstab him and be the actual big bad of the story, but I cannot fathom why they dropped Edna this HARD. If not Edna herself, I don’t understand why we don’t get more of a reaction from the Fairies and especially Adelle. I mean, Edna was her sole reason she left for her journey in the first place, then Edna dies and that’s it? No part where she grieves for a second? No concern from the others about Adelle? Mind you, I haven’t finished all the Sidequests, so maybe there actually is one in which this is addressed, but I think even just a Party Chat after Bad End 1 would have been sufficient to show how Adelle suddenly feels about the loss of Edna. It would have made Bad End 2 / The Secret Ending even more impactful, because, yeah, of course, you kinda know Adelle isn’t going to turn her back on fairy kind, but one of the reasons she doesn’t leave is because if Enda didn’t get a happy ending, then she shouldn’t either. It would have been amazing foreshadowing if she showed this sentiment before this scene happened. Other than that, it’s a shame that we know so little about Edna, or rather, how she became “bad”. I get she’s supposed to be corrupted by the Night’s Nexus, but how did it even come to this? It can’t have been a gradual thing, after all, Adelle says Edna was always good natured and then just disappeared one day. Really would have loved seeing more of that plot point.

Ok, last gripe I have, some choices in the soundtrack and sound design. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the OST, and I will get to that, but damn, whatever Revo used for the lead instrument in Wiswald hurts my ears. It’s a really good track, but I always have to turn down my volume because these high pitched sounds physically hurt. And for sound design. Dude, the Night’s Nexus is the least threatening, nightmare fueled abomination that ever existed. I get that its growl is kinda supposed to be layered with Edna’s or sth, but it, it just sounds silly. If they went the route of just swinging between different voices or began distorting it from phase to phase, it would have been fine. But the choice they made really made an otherwise creepy design just absolutely silly.

Ok, enough jammering, on to the good stuff. Like I said, there’s going to be a lot, so I’ll try to be brief in each aspect.

Gameplay

I honestly like the new battle mechanics more than the old ones. This individual, turn based system feels way more dynamic and it’s easier to strategies in battles. Because nothing made me more angry than setting up for a heal and the enemy suddenly being faster than me and killing my healer. Now it’s easier to plan ahead a bit.

I also found myself experimenting more with the jobs. Not sure what it really is, but none of the party members leaning more towards certain types of jobs and the job leveling being way faster probably helped.

And I know some people get up in arms because the boss sometimes can be a real pain in the ass (looking at you pope dude), I still found it very interesting getting around counters or even using these counters as a benefit. As an example, I made Adelle my main physical fighter and gave her lots of counter abilities to help her profit from being countered by enemies themselves. Now, she can attack enemies, get countered, automatically evade that counter and earn a BP at the same time. Made a lot of boss fights way easier and fun to exploit.

Music

Ok, I will try my best to be really, really brief, because in my recording this part takes up almost 40 minutes. Anyways, Revo might have just become one of my absolute favorite composers ever. I don’t know what kind of magic he used, but I initially wasn’t that impressed with the OST, but every time I listened to it, I just fell in love harder and harder. Before getting into specifics, I wanna highlight the two things that made me love this OST overall. First of all, this soundtrack almost seems like a refinement of BD’s. While losing some of that fairytale vibe, it sounds even more fantasy now. And in contrast to the original, this almost sounds more balanced? Like, BD’s OST felt high energy throughout, BD2’s on the other hand manages to find a good balance between high and low energy pieces. Like, the character themes or battle themes are absolute hype, but the overworld themes are a lot calmer and easier to listen to while exploring. Second big point that makes this soundtrack amazing is that Revo is an absolute god at using emotional progression/storytelling and leitmotifs in his songs. And heck, do I love myself my leitmotifs. You’ve got some obvious ones, like the final battle theme in which all the character themes and other leitmotifs are integrated. Then you got some maybe more subtle once, just like how the overworld themes are just the main theme, just a lot calmer and using the lead instruments of the towns of the areas.

But my absolute favourites gotta be the character themes and the main theme. I love how fitting the themes for the characters are and in general, each of them is such a bop. At first I prefered Elvis’, because I sure am a sucker for jazzy vibes, but over time Adelle’s became my fav. It’s just something about the trumpets, and how the theme almost sounds a bit melancholic and bittersweet, that drew me in. And considering her story, mostly her bad end, that the bittersweet tone really fits.

Then there’s the main theme. Just like BD’s it shouts “triumphant anthem” and it definitely gives you a very familiar vibe, but I’d argue it has even better emotional progression. Heck, the first time I heard the music start up in the reveal trailer, I didn’t have to look at the screen to know this is gonna be a BD game. Also, the credit song version had me weeping at the true end. I’m someone who’s very easily affected by music (if me shouting about soundtracks on this blog wasn’t proof enough) and just hearing that ending song, getting the after credits scene, just for the second credits to start as a freaking duet. Dude, at that point I just started sobbing, I’m not gonna lie. Just this little part showed how much Revo knows how to put emotion in a song and also write it in such a way that he can elicit strong, emotional reactions from you too. 

Story

People have been complaining how the story is too boring and kinda disappointing in comparison to the last one, but I just think the games tried to accomplish different things here. Since the BD series is a celebration of old, classic jrpgs, “cliche” storytelling is a given. Though, BD did throw a lot of meta stuff in there too. BD2 in contrast just feels like a direct execution of that initial idea. It feels familiar, it feels comfy and it feels safe. Except for the little things with the endings and then overwriting the Nexus’ “save file”, BD2 doesn’t really get that meta, which is totally fine. It doesn’t try to reinvent or innovate anything, it just wants to be a fantasy story, that might be cliche, but still fun and enjoyable in its own right.

I’d also argue that the pacing is a lot better than the old game, because with BD I sometimes found myself skipping through scenes to get on with the story. Not that this game didn’t have me rushing through stuff as well, but I found it kept my intrigue way better than the original.

Characters

Next to the music, this is the part that I absolutely love the most. While, yes, they did lose a lot of potential with some characters, mostly with the villains, the main cast is just so much fun. I love these 4 dorks so, so much.

I honestly can’t stand how much people compare them to the original cast. Yes, ofc, I’ve been doing my fair share of comparisons too, but calling these four a more boring version of BD’s party physically hurts me. Because except for some initial impressions, the Heroes of Light are completely different from our beloved Warriors of Light.

While yes, Seth and Gloria give off strong Tiz and Agnes vibes at first, they both grow into such different characters that they’re not really comparable. I think this shows with Adelle and Elvis even more. I do understand how people could compare Adelle and Edea, since they’re both the feisty girl type, but I can’t understand how people can see Ringabel and Elvis as the same character type. While those two are the “suave” party members, they act so differently from another. And that’s honestly apparent the first time you meet them. 

Anyways, I love these 4 so much.

We technically don’t know a lot about Seth at all, but they manage to pull so much out of just the fact that he’s a sailor, that it makes him really endearing, really fast.

I was kinda disinterested with Gloria at first, because again, the initial impression was Agnés2.0, but she grew on me a lot. Gloria is way more hard headed and honestly sassy in comparison to Agnés and I absolutely adore it.

Elvis. Elvis, my man. I love this fantasy scottosh wizard so, so much. He’s such a ridiculous character but so endearing at the same time. You got all this dorkiness, with him setting himself on fire as a student, him doing god knows what for a good drink or just laughing danger and prejudice in the face. But then you got his super empathetic and caring side. Mind you, most of his wise moments come from quoting Lady Emma, but still, as much as he’s hopeless with certain social situations, he’s actually still really good at reading the room and playing things smart. He’s a smart and powerful idiot, which makes him a danger to everyone and himself, and I love him for it. (I also can’t believe they called him Lesley I MEAN COME ON)

And then there’s Adelle. I liked her from the start, but I didn’t think she would stick out to me. I think now she’s my favourite character. Not even talking about all the stuff that happens in chapter 3 and onward, because these story threads are awesome in their own right, but there’s just something about her personality that’s interesting and appealing to me. Like I said, I’m not surprised people compare her to Edea, I did too at first, but while Edea walks very close to the line of a Tsundere, I was really surprised that Adelle is, well, not a Tsundere at all. Yeah, of course she’s putting Elvis down a lot, but that stems more from her preventing his ego from going to his head than her being all embarrassed. No, Adelle is actually really well adjusted when it comes to communication. While it’s hilarious that she and Elvis met with her chucking her shoes at him, the two just got along well right from the start. Adelle in general has this really open and helpful personality, but also doesn’t shy away from putting her foot down, even if that sometimes comes out as an embarrassed sputter. She’s also the mother hen of the group. She looks out for the other three and gets concerned about them real fast. 

I dunno, Adelle just really grew on me over the course of this game, and then her kinda being paired with Elvis too, as partners and as partners, makes me like her even more. Because as much as I like their personalities individually, I like their character dynamic even more. I honestly love the relationships between all four of them a lot. You really feel them grow closer as friends and all the little character sidequests just always made me really happy.

Conclusion

You might not believe me, but I really held back there. This could probably have been 3 times its length. As much as I love this game, it’s of course not perfect. It struggles and flails in some parts a lot and it certainly has some aspects that might turn people off. But for me, it was just a very familiar and comfy game that didn’t necessarily deliver anything new, but that told its story in such a way that it still got me excited to keep going. The soundtrack is absolutely amazing and the conclusion of the story actually got me to cry. While not groundbreaking, this game is highly enjoyable and leaves you absolutely satisfied at the end.

Also, I would like to iterate that I am desperate to get more content about this game, so if you wanna chat about it, hit me up.

Anyways, anyone else felt like having a fever dream when everybody in chapter 2 started talking fantasy scottish? Cos I sure did.

[yuujism]

Sun and Night. (gojo satoru x reader)

Chapter 2: Need

← chapter 1 | chapter 3 →

| PAIRINGS: gojo satoru x reader; hints of getou suguru x reader x gojo satoru

| WARNINGS: ⚠️ SPOILERS FOR HIDDEN INVENTORY ARC ⚠️ suggestive language, toxicity, toxic gojo, toxic reader, angst, grammar errors

| WORD COUNT: idk lol i’ll count it later

| A/N: this is the second chapter of sun and night!! just didn’t want to make it into one chapter because personally i kinda get tired of reading ?? idk so i’m dividing into 3-4 chapters hehe!! so you can see where this is going with this chapter !! next chapter will have some smut so yeah 😎 hope you like it

summary;

You and Satoru were in love.

You were both so deeply in love, just not with each other.

Where you and Satoru found comfort in each other after the accident happened.

Chapter 2: Need

It was really obvious.

The way Satoru treated you was different since that day and everyone noticed it. You couldn’t bring yourself to care though.

Years passed after Suguru’s death, marking a before and after in both you and Satoru’s lives. Your mind and body grew tired of the mourning and the countless of lonely nights filled with tears and regrets, the whisper of your name coming to you like a fantasy. Like a memory that never really happened.

Satoru tried to get busy in an attempt to not think back at his best friend, getting into teaching and being a pain in the ass to the higher ups. It seemed way too Satoru-like: acting like nothing ever happened.

The hatred you felt towards the strongest sorcerer quickly became an envy you couldn’t hide.

You envied how easy it was for him to forget Suguru, remembering the way he couldn’t even tell you your first love died right in front of his eyes. You envied how strong he was and how different you were in every aspect of your life. You envied the way Satoru could just keep going with his life.

The both of you didn’t try to hide the bad blood between you, disregarding and ignoring each other outside the mandatory professional interactions you had. When asked about by your students, the same answer was given from the two sorcerers:

“We just don’t get along.”

And it was the truth. You didn’t get along.

Even when you tried to remember a friendly interaction between you and Satoru when Suguru was still alive, nothing came to your mind.

Satoru could’ve decided to hide his hatred towards you, he just didn’t want to. He didn’t even bother to hide the drop of his smile whenever someone mentioned you or whenever you entered the room. He still thought you didn’t deserve Suguru, not as much as he did at least. And that made Satoru’s blood boil.

He was the one who heard Suguru’s last words. He was the one who Suguru trusted in. He was the one. Enough said.

Of course you were aware of that. After all, they were both with and for each other. Even if it hurt your pride to admit, you were not stupid enough to deny the adoration those two had for one another.

You were just glad Satoru never brought the topic to the table and didn’t seem to have any intentions for it.

Or so you thought.

It wasn’t till the both of you were paired for a mission in the woods that everything started to go downhill for the third time in your whole fucked up relationship.

In the end, Satoru did most of the work. You really didn’t know why Yaga kept pairing you both when he knew Satoru was capable enough to take any curse by himself. It irritated you to no end how Yaga kept being a stoic asshole after all these years.

And Satoru knew that as well. You couldn’t even miss the cocky remarks he would do after every mission.

Unluckily for you more than for him, your patience wasn’t having it this time.

“Yay! Another job well done by me!” Satoru cheered for himself as he walked in front of you as he removed his blindfold to put his sunglasses on, raising his long arms in victory before turning back to face you, a sneer on his face. “Anyway, good job, I guess.”

Satoru wasn’t quick enough to turn around before he saw your whole cold facade crumble in front of his eyes, the words coming out of your mouth catching him off guard.

“Fuck, don’t you ever shut the fuck up?” You couldn’t stop yourself from gradually exploding, the fiercely murmur barely reaching Satoru’s ears who just grinned maliciously.

“Why are you mad? I just told you good job” His as-a-matter-of-factly tone didn’t help your anger, noticing how he also stopped in his spot to look down on you from afar. “You really get mad at everything. Not getting laid?”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed, walking past him not really being in the mood to argue with a man hitting his thirties acting like an actual child.

God, you were better than this. Better than him in this way at the very least.

“Or still can’t get over your unrequited love?”

Now, Satoru knew that was a low blow, even for himself. But oh, how he hated you. How he liked to see your face twist into pain and anger because of his snarky comments. You deserved it. You deserved to be hated by him and he would show it any chance he got. Satoru was ready for your outburst, maybe expecting you to use your technique against him and show you how useless it was.

But what he didn’t expect was for you to stop in your tracks and turn around calmly, a lot more clam than what Satoru liked.

Your eyes locked on his for the first time since your first discussion years ago and Satoru tensed under your gaze. He didn’t want you to look through him again, but he knew you had already seen everything you needed to see.

A nostalgic yet mocking grin adorned your face, not quite reaching your empty eyes.

“Never thought it would be you to bring up these feelings after all this time.”

And, this time, it was Satoru’s facade that crumbled down.

Because it was true. Neither of you ever mentioned Suguru to each other or the feelings you both knew you had towards the deceased sorcerer. Because, unknowingly, Satoru just admitted how jealous he also felt that you felt the same for Suguru.

No, not the same.

“Feelings?” Satoru mocked you with a twisted smirk as he took off his glasses, eyes filled with a fire you couldn’t describe. “Don’t make me laugh. You didn’t have feelings for him. Suguru was just a whim for you!”

This was the second time Satoru yelled at you and it almost felt like a deja vu. You jolted, the tone of his voice reaching deep within you to light the same fire that was burning in those blue eyes. You were glad you were still in the outside where nobody could stop or hear you.

“You really are thick in the head, aren’t you?” You yelled back, walking towards him in an agressive manner. “A whim? A fucking whim?” You laughed painfully, stopping inches away from him. “I loved Suguru more than you could ever imagine. What? Too jealous you weren’t the only one down bad? Oh! Boohoo!”

“Oh, shut the fuck up!” He bit back, throwing his glasses to the side to grab you by the collar. “You don’t even deserve to love Suguru! I do! He was my one and only, not yours. I did more for him than you ever did in your pathetic life!”

“Fuck off! Don’t you think I didn’t know that?!” God, you hated the way how your voice cracked in the end in front of him, tears creeping to your eyes as your hands flew to Satoru’s wrists. His infinity was surprisingly off. “I fucking knew it! God, the way you looked at him was enough for me to know you loved him just as much...” Tears started rolling down your cheeks, Satoru’s grip tightening. “I envied you for that. Fuck, I even envy how you don’t feel pain anymore.”

Satoru really didn’t mean to let this escalate this far, but what kind of bullshit were you spitting now? He was so angry, he didn’t even care about the fact your small hands and nails were digging into his skin.

“Are you dumb enough to believe I don’t think about what I could’ve done differently every day of my life?” Satoru’s tone was low now, blue eyes piercing into you with disdain. “I blame myself for his death. Do you? Tell me right now. Do you blame yourself?”

“Yes.” The lack of hesitation made Satoru let out a snort, and you didn’t let him interrupt you with his complaining again. “I blame myself as much as I blame you. While we were busy trying to get stronger after what happened with Master Tengen, he was suffering and we didn’t notice. We didn’t want to notice.”

Silence sourrounded you both, the grip on your collar loosening as the seconds passed by. You knew Satoru was having a hard time processing all this. The emotions, the discussion, letting out everything he hid for years and finally accepting your feelings towards Suguru. As if he was the one who decided on who could love him and who couldn’t.

His gaze never left your face, trying to deny the undeniable: all those times years ago, even when he thought he was doing a great job at hiding it, you could see right through him. You knew how much Satoru loved Suguru and you knew how he also swept Suguru’s feelings under the rug. You were just like him.

But, fuck, how he hated you.

How he hated your now soft eyes looking at him as if he was an injured lamb crying for help. How even if he towered over you as he had you in a strong grip, you didn’t seem to flinch over your next actions. Hated the way your hands made their way to the sides of his face, the coldness sending shivers down his spine as his breath hitched in his throat.

But what Satoru hated the most was the way he was probably feeling the same as you right now.

He wasn’t going to deny it anymore. At least, not this time.

“You know I hate you, right?” Satoru whispered, letting go of your collar to place his large hands on the sides of your neck, face a breath away from yours.

The faint brush of his lips against yours sent mixed signals to your brain. Don’t do it. This is a mistake. That’s dangerous territory. He’s literally Gojo Satoru.

But, holy hell, the way his hands travelled down your sides, reaching your hips after leaving a trail of fire on your skin, made you throw every worry out of the window. You needed this.

You both needed this.

“Yes, I know.”

And that was enough for Satoru to capture your lips in a feral kiss, the grip on your hips pulling you close to his body as your hands tangled in his white locks, pulling harshly as your tongues fought each other for dominance. You almost missed the way Satoru whined against your mouth at a certain pull on his hair, nails digging into the flesh of your hips as he grinded his growing erection against your stomach. And it really felt heavenly, having this anger come out through this kiss was the best option you could find.

But something was off.

Even if Satoru was the one kissing you as if his life depended on it, you couldn’t help but picture Suguru. His voice, his touch, his scent... everything was Suguru. A mere fantasy again and this time it hurt more than you think it would.

“S-Satoru, hold up.” You mumbled between kisses, trying to pull away by pushing him by his chest.

Satoru looked at you through half-lidded eyes, panting through parted lips the same as you as you stared at each other with guilt in your eyes. His hold in your hips released to place them in your cheeks, almost as if he was trying to make sure you were actually you. And that’s when realisation hit you like a truck.

“You...” You started hesitantly, looking down at your own hands on his chest. “You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”

A second. Then two. Then a few other more passed and Satoru just seemed to have had a bucket of cold ice water thrown at him. It was almost as if you were inside of his own head. It was annoying.

“Fuck.” Satoru growled, finally pulling away from you as both of his hands ran through his hair desperately, turning away from your figure. “Fuck, I’m... I mean, yes, I was thinking of... Fuck!”

God, he was spiralling again. Of course he was thinking of Suguru. Satoru was thinking of your lips being Suguru’s, your touch, everything. Fulfilling the dream he could never live. And now you were probably going to have an argument again about how that kiss was a mist—

“Satoru.” Your hand on his back made him jolt, slapping himself mentally for not turning his infinity on after getting away from you.

He turned to face you, your features giving him a sweet smile as your other hand reached for the side of his face once again. Satoru didn’t like the way his heart jumped at your touch.

“It’s okay,” You murmured lowly, pulling Satoru close to your face once again as he calmed down. Your now warm hands reached behind his neck this time, his hands instinctively flying to your waist as your bodies got close to each other. Satoru was putty in your hands once again as he looked down at your parted lips.

“I was thinking about him too.”

[tg-headcanons]

Nsfw alphabet with naki?

HORNY HOURS WITH IDIOT (affectionate)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex): he’s never quite sure what to do right when it’s over and will probably just wait for his partner to do something. He’ll follow their lead for the most part, but what he really wants is praise and cuddles. He’s one of those ghouls who really needs the post sex cuddle sessions to avoid the emotional drop

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): on himself he likes his teeth, on his partner he doesn’t like anything in particular. He’s demisexual and when he is attracted to someone sexually he doesn’t really break down what specific things he likes into parts. He’s content to just like their body as a whole

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically): he needs his partner to be patient with him since he doesn’t come very easily. It takes him awhile to get there and he can’t finish without his kakuhou being touched, some ghouls are just built like that but he’s a little embarrassed by it

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): though he’s more used to quick and careless rough stuff, what he really wants is to be pampered. Tell him he’s pretty, touch him gently, fuck him or ride him. Let him lay back and be taken care of, let him know that he deserves it. He’s a pillow prince at heart

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?): he has experience, but it isn’t all good. In the past he’s had partners ranging from distant and pushy to downright cruel. Some have been alright, he’s hooked up with people like Miza and Hooguro and really liked it, but others weren’t as kind. Plenty of people have slept with him without caring if he enjoys it, plenty have fucked him through his heat and left him to deal with the emotional drop alone, and Jason in particular was among the worst when it came to downright brutal sex. Naki wants people to give him affection and attention, but sadly Aogiri isn’t the best place to find safe and respectful partners. By now he thinks of sex as something that’s usually painful but can earn him some praise. His partner will need to be very gentle and soft with him at first, he needs to learn that he can set boundaries and that his pleasure is just as important as theirs

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying): if he’s bottoming he likes missionary, He’s used to being bent over things in any abandoned building or broken into house he and past partners could find and unceremoniously fucked so being able to look his partner in the eyes and kiss them is amazing. When topping he likes doggy, he hasn’t had much of a chance to be dominant before, and he really likes the feeling of control from time to time

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.): he’s not going to joke around, and if his partner is joking he probably won’t notice

H = Heat (what are heats like for them? How do they handle it?): some ghouls get lucky and have brief, mild heats, and others get very unlucky. Naki is among the ladder. They’re absolutely horrible, he was unfortunate enough to end up with a heat hormonal disorder and no way to treat it so he suffers with them. They last a whole week, he has horrible cramps, fevers, nausea, unrelenting muscle weakness and insomnia. In the past he’s handled them by trying to find a decent place to hide and wait them out, but most of the time they break him and he resorts to sleeping with anyone to relieve it. It isn’t safe and the type of ghoul who would fuck someone in heat without talking it out with them beforehand isn’t the type to be kind and respectful. His partner will need to sit him down and talk about how he wants to go about it before it happens to be sure they have a plan and don’t cross any of his boundaries, and he’ll honestly be grateful for the sense of security that comes with a safe place to get through it. Just keep him from overheating, bring some painkillers, be gentle with him and maybe ask around among rich ghoul circles for doctors who can treat heat disorders and he’ll fall in love all over again

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect): he’s very intimate. He always holds out hope that sex will be romantic and kind and even with the kind of people he’s been with in the past he hasn’t given up on that fairy tail Candlelight-And-Velvet sex he wants. Tell him how pretty he is and kiss him and he’ll be melting in your arms

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon): considering that he’s homeless, roams with a pack of people, and that it takes more for him to come than it takes others, for Naki jerking off takes more planning than you’d think. He needs to wait until he can find somewhere that he can go in private between missions, often rooms in unoccupied buildings where the White Suits are staying, and then he can relieve himself. Since he needs his kakuhou touched he rubs up against something to stimulate it. If he’s lucky he can find a living room or bedroom with pillows he can use, but if he can’t he’ll fold up his jacket. Between touching his cock and rutting his kakuhou against the pillows he’s able to get himself off every so often before slipping back into the group and hoping no one has questions about where he went

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks): blindfolds. You know how when vets treat horses and deer they cover their eyes to make them less nervous? The same thing works on Naki. He’s a little uneasy when getting started and oddly enough, if he’s blindfolded and unable to anticipate movements, that fades away. All he has to do is focus on the sensations of being touched and words of praise, and any anxiety is replaced by euphoria

L = Location (favorite places to do the do): bedroom. For most that seems normal but for him that’s a luxury. A comfy bed? A door for privacy? Lights that can be turned off? That’s living like kings right there

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going): genuine affection. Nothing gets him hard like assurance that he’s loved and wanted through the simple kindness he craves

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): Naki has some trouble with setting boundaries, he assumes his partner will be mad and needs the assurance that there’s nothing wrong with not being comfortable with things. He’s not quite sure where to start so he’d have to say that he doesn’t like anything too rough or mean. Things like bottoming unprepared, impact play or degradation. Biting and hard grips are fine since that’s normal for ghouls to enjoy but things that are purposefully sadistic are off the table. He’s getting better at speaking up when something hurts physically or emotionally, and it feels good to be able to say no without feeling guilty about it

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): he prefers to give. Because he’s a ghoul, Teeth Near Dick is a valid fear and one that he’d rather avoid. Though he isn’t opposed to being the one giving head

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.): he can take a lot, but prefers for his partner to be gentle and slow when he’s bottoming. Though when he’s on top, he’s pretty quick, not so much that he’s trying to be rough, rather he gets caught up in feeling good and ends up fucking like a rabbit

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): he hates them. He knows that “quick fuck” = “not enough time for him to finish” = “not enough time for post sex cuddles” = “huge emotional drop.” He needs to have time, he needs to have the right touches, and he needs to have decent aftercare. Quickies don’t allow for that so he isn’t too keen on them

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.): he doesn’t really like to. He knows his comfort zone in regards to sex and he knows that he doesn’t do well with pushing its boundaries. He’d rather stick to doing it inside, and if there’s anything new his partner wants to bring into the bedroom it would need to be gradual

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?): he lasts a hell of a long time. He goes a round or two before being tapped out, but with how long it takes him to come those rounds can be awhile

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?): he doesn’t have any. He wouldn’t be opposed to some being used on him as long as they don’t hurt though

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): he doesn’t like teasing and he doesn’t like to be teased, he doesn’t see the appeal

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): I’m sure this comes as no surprise but Naki cries during sex. He does it when he’s in pain, he does it when he’s feeling amazing, he does it with any strong sensation at all so no matter what it’s just going to happen. It’s normal for him to let a few tears fall while he’s fucking, along with some pretty loud moans. What is surprising is that he’s one of those rare ghouls who purrs during sex. He doesn’t always do it because he needs to feel very safe and very good, but with the right partner he’ll be purring like a kitten

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character): he likes wearing things that his partner gives him. It’s a task that he can obey, it’s a physical reminder that they care enough about him to decorate him, it’s something that shows everyone who he belongs to. Whether it’s a collar or a suit he jumps at the opportunity to wear something that marks him as theirs

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes): 7.5 inches, life may have screwed him over but at least his meat is huge

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?): a little below average. Sex isn’t as important to him as romance, rather it’s another expression of romance, so only doing it a few times a month is enough for him. Though he’d be okay with doing it more if his partner wants to, he likes doing anything as long as it’s with them and sex can be amazing

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): he doesn’t fall asleep after sex unless he’s sure he’s somewhere safe. He’s used to having to immediately fix his clothes and leave whenever it’s over, but if he has a partner who cares about him, a room that’s safe, and some cuddles to put him at ease, he’ll slowly drift off

[wrestlingisfake]

Revolution preview

Adam Page vs. Adam Cole - Page is the 4th AEW men's world champion, and this is his fourth defense of the title. Cole likes to say he's held the top title everywhere he's been (in ROH, PWG, and NXT), and he hasn't lost a (sanctioned) singles match since he joined AEW.

Cole and Page both joined Bullet Club in May 2016, basically aligning with the US/Ring of Honor/friends with the Young Bucks side of the group. Cole was pushed as a major acquisition, and won the ROH world title later that summer. Page was more of a long-term project, and he was given the "Hangman" gimmick to avoid confusion with Cole. Luckily for Page, Cole left for NXT in 2017, leaving the way clear for Page to emerge as a key member of Bullet Club Elite. One can't help but wonder if Page's rise to the top in 2018-2021 would have happened at all if Cole has stuck around.

To me this doesn't feel like a hot main event, but that's probably because I didn't see much of Cole in ROH or NXT. Those who did follow him in NXT are red-hot--I've been to several shows where people were chanting "ADAM COLE BAY BAY" on their way into and out of the building, including one where he wasn't there. There are certainly fans who think it is inevitable that Cole will be coronated as champion on this show. It doesn't help that fandom has been tough on Page's run as champion--many argue he hasn't had enough appearances and defenses, and that other top names are more worthy of being the titleholder. So as usual, Page is under pressure to prove he's worthy of the position he's in.

A big x-factor in this storyline is Adam Cole's divided loyalties with the Young Bucks (his close friends from Bullet Club) and reDRagon (his teammates from NXT's Undisputed Era). The Bucks and reDRagon can't stand one another, and sooner or later Cole will have to take a side. Meanwhile the Bucks and Page appear to be (gradually) mending fences. Does that mean the Bucks will do a run-in here? I think AEW will be counting on fans to expect that, and plan accordingly.

I think Page will retain. Cole doesn't need the title--not yet, at least, and not necessarily this particular title. So the only good reason to take the belt off Page is if they've given up on him, and I can't believe AEW has given up so quickly. Many fans have, but the only way to overcome that attitude is to feed him some big wins. That could potentially backfire--especially if Cole's fans resent a big loss--but that's another problem for down the line.

CM Punk vs. MJF - This is a dog collar match, so the participants will wear collars connected by a length of chain. I'm pretty sure anything goes, although in practice the only weapon that gets used is the chain itself. This type of match has a reputation for being incredibly bloody and vicious, mainly based on the legendary Roddy Piper-Greg Valentine in December 1983. But more than anything, this match is designed to call back to Punk vs. Raven in July 2003.

This feud has been expected since the day rumors surfaced that Punk was coming to AEW--literally everyone had the idea that MJF should come out to Punk's music in Chicago to troll the audience. They finally faced off in November, with all the metanarrative and inside references you would expect from two smartass loudmouths in a war of words. Personally I'm kind of over the idea that a worky-shooty mic drop moment makes a wrestler a great talker, so this aspect of the feud hasn't worked for me. (On the other hand, Punk coming out to MJF's music in Long Island to troll the audience was *chef's kiss*)

They finally had the first match on February 2, which was Punk's first loss since joining AEW, and his first loss in Illinois since December 2011. After Punk issued the challenge for this rematch, MJF did a emotional promo about how much Punk meant to him when he was being bullied in school, and how heartbroken he was when Punk quit WWE in 2014. MJF earned a lot of genuine sympathy, which he then used to swerve Punk and the fans with a bloody beatdown. The conventional wisdom is that Punk bled buckets in that go-home angle, so this match can only be even bloodier.

I think the winner of this feud has to go on to challenge for the world title later this year, with the loser pushed back in line to simmer for a while. If it's me, I put Punk over here to build to Page-Punk at Chicago in September. But there is a solid case to make that MJF should win the feud and be a top contender ASAP. Thing is, if that was the plan, I would've done the February 2 match here, and ended the feud with a one-and-done. Of course, if Punk does win this rematch, that certainly sets up the possibility of a third encounter before the feud ends. I'm still leaning towards a Punk win, but I'm not confident about it.

Britt Baker vs. Thunder Rosa - Baker is the 4th AEW women's world champion, and this is her eighth title defense. Rosa's Warrior Wrestling title is not at stake. Rosa defeated Baker in March 2021, shortly before Baker won the title. But since the match was "unsanctioned," it didn't count in the rankings, so it's taken a year for Rosa to work her way into top contention.

This should be a great match, but I can't think of much to say because it's not complicated--AEW has pushed both women strongly, they've gotten super over with the fans, and now they're going to fight for the richest prize in the division. I guess they could add some intrigue about Mercedes Martinez or Jamie Hayter, but I don't think this is the time or place. I'm hoping they just wrestle a lot and one of them just wins.

It feels like they could easily keep the title on Baker for another year, and it's hard to imagine where she goes from here if she falls out of the title picture. But it also feels like it's time for Rosa to get to the top of the mountain. Of all the challengers on this card, she's the one where the stars are in alignment, and a loss would really embitter the audience.

Jon Moxley vs. Bryan Danielson - Moxley is the GCW world champion, but the title is not on the line here. This match was supposed to happen on November 13 in a tournament to determine a challenger for the men's world title, but Moxley pulled out earlier that month to enter rehab. Danielson's been tailing him ever since he got back. On February 2 Danielson laid out his big idea to join forces with Moxley to mold young talent in their image and reshape the landscape of AEW. Mox was intrigued, but said he doesn't stand with anybody until he's bled with them first.

Moxley and Danielson both spent years in WWE, but they haven't faced off one-on-one since 2013. Danielson has never lost a singles match to Moxley, all the way back to their first encounter in Dragon Gate USA back in 2010. As it stands today, I think Moxley is the bigger name and AEW should protect him here.

It's not clear whether Moxley intends to join Danielson, or if the outcome of this match will affect his decision. If he loses and joins Danielson, I think that sets him up to look like a flunky, which is all wrong. If he wins and joins Danielson, I'm not sure if that will be a heel turn for Mox or a face turn for Bryan. I could imagine a swerve where somebody does a run-in, and Bryan aligns with that guy instead. But fans have gotten genuinely excited at the prospect of a Moxley/Danielson faction, so if it doesn't happen AEW better have something else just as hot.

Jungle Boy & Luchasaurus vs. Bobby Fish & Kyle O'Reilly vs. Nick Jackson & Matt Jackson - Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus are the 6th AEW tag team championship team, and this is their fourth defense of the title. It's a three-way, so whoever scores the first fall on any opponent will win the match and the championship for his team. reDragon (Fish and O'Reilly) won a 10-team battle royale on February 23 to qualify for this match, whereas the Young Bucks (Nick and Matt) won a 16-team gauntlet battle royale on March 2.

This is one of those three-ways where the story is that two of the three parties are in an alliance, so the third is supposed to be outnumbered. Of course, in 95% of these situations, the two sides that are supposed to work together end up having a miscommunication and lose. Since the Bucks and reDRagon could barely tolerate one another before this match was made, I'm pretty sure that's where this match is headed. Which suggests this is also one of those three-ways where the champions are only involved to build to a bigger two-way match between the non-champions.

I guess reDRagon could win, but I think it's far more likely that Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus retain.

Chris Jericho vs. Eddie Kingston - I think this feud started when Jericho and Kingston were both feuding with 2point0 and Daniel Garcia, so Jericho kept making the save for Eddie and Eddie resented it. Santana and Ortiz somehow got involved and it became a thing where those two like both guys, but being caught in the middle sort of turned them against Jericho. I've lost track of the actual issue. These two guys just hate each other.

This should be good since Jericho's a living legend of the majors and Eddie is a living legend of the indies, and they've never crossed paths to my knowledge. But I really don't get what they're fighting over, or what either hopes to achieve, or whether this is meant to turn one of them heel. I'm pulling for Eddie to win.

Jade Cargill vs. Tay Conti - Cargill is the first TBS champion, and this is her fifth title defense. Both of these ladies are great at what they do. But let's face it, this is going to be a two-minute squash match--maybe five minutes if they're trying to protect Tay a little. Jade retains.

Face of the Revolution ladder match - This is a six-way ladder match for a future TNT title match. A prop brass ring will be hung above the ring, and ladders will be provided for the wrestlers to climb up and retrieve it. The only way to win is to gain possession of the prize--that is, literally grab the brass ring. (Note that, unlike WWE's Money in the Bank ladder match, the person who wins the title shot here is not entitled to ambush the champion at a moment's notice; the match will be announced in advance for some future date.)

The participants are: Keith Lee, Orange Cassidy, Wardlow, Ricky Starks, Powerhouse Hobbs, and Christian Cage. Starks is recognized within his faction as the FTW champion, but that title is not at stake here.

I like that this match is for a midcard title shot (which will probably be on a random free TV broadcast rather than a pay-per-view), because it's easier to picture an upset. If this was for a world title shot at Double or Nothing, I'd have to give it to Keith Lee based on starpower alone. But any of these guys could job to Sammy Guevara on any given Friday night, so literally any of them has a good chance of winning. My brain says Lee is the favorite, and my gut says they've got an idea for Wardlow, but my heart is with Hobbs since he's cool and mean and huge.

Sammy Guevara & Darby Allin & Sting vs. Andrade El Idolo & Matt Hardy & Isiah Kassidy - This is billed as a tornado match, which means tags are not required and all the participants can fight at the same time. The match still has to end in the ring, but other than that there really aren't any rules.

This match stems from two of the random storylines they've done with Andrade. First, he decided that Allin was Sting's assistant and tried to purchase Allin's services. Second, Andrade bought a controlling stake in Hardy's HFO faction (now "AHFO"), and he was very displeased when faction member Kassidy failed to win the TNT championship from Guevara on February 2. Meanwhile, Allin has his own aims at taking the TNT title from Sammy, but it's clear that will have to wait until they solve their mutual AHFO problem.

Sting hasn't lost a single match since joining AEW, so I think the outcome of this match is not in doubt. The bigger question is whether we start seeing seeds of Andrade turning on Hardy and stealing the faction out from under him. With everybody expecting Jeff Hardy to join Matt in AEW, it seems like the turn has to go down fairly soon.

HOOK vs. QT Marshall - This is scheduled for the pre-show. Hook, the son of Taz, debuted a months weeks back after over a year of memes about how he's secretly the ultimate badass. Then he actually lived up to the hype, so it's sort of like if Ultra Instinct Shaggy was real. This match is probably going to take less time than it did to write this paragraph. Hook wins.

Leyla Hirsch vs. Kris Statlander - Another pre-show match. I guess these two were teaming all the time on Dark and Elevation, but I wasn't paying attention, and then Hirsch got fed up and turned on Statlander. Then Statlander did a promo with a weird line about how Hirsch is such a jerk that it's no wonder her birth parents put her up for adoption, and everybody was like "not cool, dude." So I don't even know who the babyface is here. I'll be rooting for Hirsch, personally.

[betelguwuse]

So I watched Encanto last night and I love it so much. It’s weird because I don’t have a specific character I really love, though there are a few I really related to. Get settled in because I’m dropping my whole life story here. Jk but it is pretty personal lol

I really felt the whole conflict with Mirabel and her Abuela. I’ve seen some Latinos on here talk about how real that is culturally in their families (and in retrospect I just wanna say that’s really cool to have a culture’s real life issues represented), but my white ass didn’t know any of that watching the movie and it just spoke to my situation with my own grandma. I really related to Mirabel’s feelings of inadequacy and wanting to be accepted, because I’m autistic and my grandma treats me so differently because of it. Much like how Mirabel was “normal” until she didn’t get a gift, I was “normal” until I was diagnosed as autistic in my late teens. Once my grandma started to really notice my differences, she subtly and gradually started treating me so differently from my siblings, and she now makes it abundantly clear that she sees me as a waste of the potential/talents I do have, and she basically openly mourns that I haven’t amounted to anything.

I kinda related to Bruno in that aspect as well. Obviously I’ve not completely disappeared from my family, but he’s kind of a reflection of what Mirabel could’ve been, like with her mom kinda implying like ‘I don’t want you to end up like him’. Obvs that’s not a direct quote but it was the basic gist that I can remember. And I feel that, it’s like... if I had reacted more dramatically to my family thinking I’m weird and bad, and if I didn’t have decent parents like Mirabel had to keep her grounded, I probably would’ve ended up disappearing too, or dead if I’m being realistic. Hmmm that got dark fast let’s lighten up a little. Something I love about Bruno is that he’s set up to be the villain, but then it’s like the opposite of a twist villain where he turns out to be just some guy. Abuela is the sort-of antagonist, but she’s not really a villain at all.

Which brings me back to the grandma traumadumping. The movie shows that Abuela has a tragic backstory and a reason why she acts the way she does, and it makes sense in the movie. I really appreciate that because I cannot understand why my own grandma acts the way she does. I know she’s been through some shit but from what I know of it, it has no correlation with how she sees me. I guess I want to understand her so I can get her to understand me, but real people don’t have as clear motivations as disney characters I guess lol. Seeing Mirabel’s Abuela actually realize her mistakes and apologize just hits different because I wish my grandma would even just hear me out at all, let alone apologize for everything.

I know some audiences still hate Abuela and some don’t, and that’s totally valid whatever your response is. It’s kinda interesting that I’ve seen people say like “you shouldn’t hate Abuela because she represents a real part of Latino families” and others say “don’t tell people not to hate Abuela because a lot of people hating her could be Latinos with real experience with abusive elders”. I don’t want to say what’s right or wrong because again, I’m white lol, and also I just think neither response is inherently bad. Like I don’t think anyone is “too mean” or “too forgiving” for accepting Abuela’s apology or not. Everyone has different experiences with a character like that whether they’re Latino or not (but again, it’s very cool that this is a Latino family and there are other specific aspects of Latino culture in the movie that many can heavily relate to way more than me lol), but just for me personally I can “forgive” the character because I wish I could have that in real life.

TLDR: Seeing Abuela apologize and make up with Mirabel was so cathartic, because it’s a relationship like mine that gets the happy ending I probably won’t have.