#and I am sad because they are not here
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The Reason is playing on Pac’s stream right now. This feels targeted
#qsmp#spiderbit#it’s their song and their anniversary is today#and I am sad because they are not here
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“... I'm a nobody. I can't even remember anything. Nothing. Not even my name.”
#[the winter soldier never complains. only complies] IT WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU JUST SHOOT ME#wasn't expecting to feel sad because of bucky barnes on christmas eve but here we are#idk i am probably biased but i liked this one#and my god. i love bucky so so much i want to protect that old man from everything and everyone.#it makes me so sad and angry to see that no matter what. his destiny is always sadness...#bucky barnes#what if...?#marvel#mcu#sebastian stan#buckybarnesedit#whatifedit#marveledit#mcuedit#marvelcastedit#mcucastedit#sebastianstanedit#sebstanedit#fysebastianstan#sstanedit#stansclan#gbbb
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how crazy would it be if i became a biology lab instructor. would that be crazy or what
#what am i doing? idk man#i saw a listing and it excites me. like teaching entry bio lab at a college. could you imagine#the college freshmen would be on their phones like idk what this guy is going on about but he seems pretty fired up about this#not much i can do about that but i for one would be having a good time#i finished my emt class and i only have to take one more test until im licensed#and then i can work as one or just volunteer and do plants as my job. which like. plants as my job is ideal i think#i think that is what i have learned i am so so so sad without plants#but an emt job could get me out of here right now at this very moment which is appealing#because otherwise my ass is going to put it off
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Firefox-official vs electronicmail
Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby
okay come up with a better idea then. firefox-official is gone asshole it’s electronicmail or nothing
#this one was hard to respond to because it elicited the usual anon rage in me#but i had to think about it anyway.#this blog has been around for less than a month and it is driving me fucking crazy#don’t you think i know?#dont you think it hurts enough already#i dont want this blog either i want my old blog back with all my stuff on it#i would like to stick around#because i loved posting#and i get that you’re just having fun#but i’m making an example of you#less than a month vs five years#‘household name’ firefox official#spent five years building that thing#and now it’s just this.#i keep forgetting#and then i’m here again#not home#i know you all feel bad enough for me already#but it’s so hard to be myself because the environment on here is SO different#we were HAPPY#WE WERE SO HAPPY#Umm… Or whatever.#guess i could go back to firefox unofficial#but that feels far too close to the sun. and i’m done with the wings i think.#i dont mean to be so serious#a total mood killer i know#i just dont know how to proceed exactly#because when i post like normal i cant help but feel sad#and when i post about being sad its just sort of obnoxious#i’m not really asking for pity i just want to explain where i am at
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Eloise Bridgerton being an absolute mood:
and Cressida's reaction of 'this girl is so weird, but I'm into it??? Wait am I into this??'':
#i was so sad that no one had made gifs of this moment#that i simply made one myself#i just love this almost smile cressida has here#like she can't believe eloise would just say and do this sort of thing#which kind of also adds to what she says in a later episode about eloise being courageous#she means this; eloise just being unapologetically herself without caring about whats appropriate#something cressida doesn't have the freedom to do (because she lacks the family support eloise has) but probably wishes she could#i love finding these little moments bc you can interpret so much from them even though they're only seconds long#yes i am autistic why do you ask?#eloise bridgerton#cressida cowper#creloise#bridgerton#bridgerton s3#bridgerton 3x02#gifs#my gifs#(also i don't know how to gif i did my best with what gimp can do)#bc id rather die than using something adobe makes
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"We need more diverse queer representation!"
You cannot even handle queer jews.
#jewish politics#antisemitism tw#queer jews#queer antisemitism#i have realized the reason i'm posting way less on my queer blog is because of this#i'm posting on here WAY more because i (actually!) feel safe posting in a space where jews have followed me and i follow them#it's really disheartening but the stereotype that jews are super uniquely anti-queer isn't even across the board true like#i have felt safer around cishet jews than i do around cishet and even queer goyim#and clarification that i am still a work in progress but i don't think people care about that esp if they aren't invested in jewish spaces#i guess... happy pride?#just a quick vent i suppose based on the meme format that got popular here#(also the only reason i feel safe here is because i obsessively pre-emptively block antisemites and i have locked down my account before)#(i am Not afraid to turn anon off and i refuse to let strangers DM me haha)#(sad we have to do this but at the least i feel safe to post here! i refuse to not feel safe <3)
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DCxDP demon twins AU where Damian is the one who was believed to be dead (but actually ended up with the Fentons) while Danny is the one who lived and became Robin. BUT with a twist.
Something, (magic science, aliens, whatever) causes the two Robins from two different alternate universes to switch places. At first no one notices anything wrong, they look the same in the Robin uniform, have a similar fighting style, they know everyone's names and bat proticals. It is only when they get home and take off the mask, look at his eyes, call him by the wrong name, that anyone realizes that something is very wrong.
Despite missing their twin and finding themselves in a world where their brother lived, they can't even talk to each other because they switched places.
While the bats work to fix this problem they are very aware that fixing it will mean they'll never see their new brother again.
I think Danny and Damian's relationships with the bat family is very different. Their personalities are pretty different so they bonded differently. I think Danny's favorite should be Tim. Maybe they built a relationship off working together to find and rescue Bruce and are close because of it.
Canon! Tim is sad for the good sibling relationship he missed out on. Damian is sad because by interacting with AU! Tim, without all their baggage, he realizes that he actually kind of likes Tim.
For extra drama, the boys in Amity Park also switched and it is just as much of a headache but for different reasons.
#damian wayne#danny phantom#danny fenton#batman#batfam#batfamily#dc x dp#dc x dp crossover#dc comics#dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc au#dp#demon twins au#demon twins#danny and damian are twins#danny and damian are brothers#my post#idk i like the idea of danny and Damian getting along with different brothers#which makes me want to make dick Danny's least favorite. maybe because he didn't think Bruce was still alive? idk#this relationship swap could cause a lot of fun and interesting drama where they bond with people they normally don't interact with#and the bats are all so sad to learn about a new brother only for him to be dead#the happy ending comes when the boys from Amity Park finally show up and show that they are actually alive#idk there could be fun drama here i think but i am just a little obsessed with this AU
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Assisting Acquaintance Acquired.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#Ignore how Wen Ning's hair looks here because I messed it up. Let's pretend he just sported a different hair style for a brief moment.#I am not exactly great at consistency but I am trying very hard to work on that (immediately messes up again).#Absolutely *love* how Wen Ning clearly remembers and admires WWX...who does *not* recognize him.#This is the best day for Wen Ning and it means *nothing* to WWX. A painful one-sided crush made worse.#It is bittersweet to realize that we care about someone more than they care about us. Sometime we pour love into a relationship-#-with someone who just can't reciprocate. It isn't always a conscious things either. Some people just aren't aware we care.#And painfully - so painfully - You can't make them aware. No act of kindness or gift or self sacrifice will make someone care about you.#You can martyr yourself for someone and they will continue on unchanged.#I think a lot about the parallels between WN and LWJ. Not foils - just reflections. A theme repeated.#People who give so much of themselves to someone who doesn't have the capacity to give any part of themself away.#I will die on the hill of 'Wen Ning would be the love triangle romance if that trope wasn't being avoided'.#And to be honest - thank the stars above that is the case. I do not know any good love triangles in media.#We are skipping some of the sad Jiang Cheng content because I really want to finish season 2 before May.#Sorry JC emo moment lovers...I'll deliver another time.
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ah. it hurts
#kimi ni todoke#i knew this episode would wreck me personally but..... idk this.. this here just.. oh it killed me#grief is so.. its so... it eats you whole#and you really do think you arent allowed to move on or smile or eat#because you should be sad#my mom told me the story that about 2 or so weeks after my dad died#when she went back to work#her colleagues made a joke at the lucnh table and she laughed#and one of them said oh look she can already laugh again#and he meant it nicely but my mom felt SO GUILTY#can i even be allowed to move on with my life if someone died that i love#am i allowed to smile tto have wishes to be annoyed about things to be angry about things to complain#ah. man ah man. i love kimi ni todoke so much i can barely put it in words
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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
#writeblr#warm up#i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books#(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild#but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning#and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go#anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct#i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers#i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once#it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because#when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that#a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN#who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends#i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!
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THE HEART KILLERS (2024) episode nine
#the heart killers#thkedit#kantbison#khaotung thanawat#first kanaphan#firstkhao#boyslovesource#asianlgbtdrama#thai bl#bl drama#thai drama#may.gifs#making this in part because i think this scene was extremely sweet!#but also because i still am not entirely confident where the show is planning on ending up re: the power dynamics here#(bison was so so sweet about asking to hurt kant :((( it would make me sad if he didn't get to now there are no more lies between them....)#and yet! it's impossible not to be charmed by bison's obvious delight when kant splashes him#i dearly love the way they're flirting-challenging-teasing-aligning with one another through the whole conversation....#again wishing we had a few more details (what do you Mean spoils you in bed. what all have or haven't they discussed post ep3.)#but as a whole it feels less like bison wanting to upend that dynamic entirely — bison very clearly enjoys being spoiled —#and more like asking kant to be a participant#it's interesting too bc something i found striking about the previous episode was that kant *was* constantly pushing back and teasing#and also not ever once actually refusing to do what bison told him to#i would very much like to see them talk about it explicitly and i hope this is a sign we'll get that!#the fact that this conversation is happening in the water could of course fill a whole post
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i've had some thoughts rattling around my brain about Keen since episode 9 showed us flashbacks of the boys as kids when they were adopted and then a little older when they started their training for real, and this week's episode just added more fuel to the fire.
i think one of the saddest things that the last couple episodes have really exposed that a lot of people might miss because of the other bombshells that have been dropped is the fact that Keen was set up possibly even worse than Fadel and Bison were in this life. they were adopted together, told they were going to be a family, and then Lily manipulated them all into becoming who they are as adults. she lucked out that Bison and Fadel liked each other so much and bonded so strongly to each other, and she used that bond to isolate and control Keen in a completely different way.
Keen's desperate to be in the field like the other two and to be sent on missions; he doesn't have the same set of skills that they do and wasn't able to develop his talents in the same way, and it's clear that Lilly took the natural aptitude of Fadel and Bison and turned that into what they are now, but she chose to push Keen into the behind the scenes aspect of the business. she's also made it clear from the start which set of talents she values more as is clear from the way she glares at Keen when he can't shoot his bottle in the flashback.
Keen isn't given any kind of reassurance or support for missing his shot, or told to try again; Lily answers Bison's questions about why they need to learn to shoot by telling them that they have to learn to protect themselves, then she gives Keen a few more judgey looks, implying it's something she doesn't expect him to be able to do. the next scene in the flashback is her giving Bison and Fadel their first assignment, and by this point Keen has already been relegated to being the paper guy and having an office job.
these kids all lost their parents and are gathered up by Lily at the same time and told they're going to be a family; they look like they're all roughly the same age. we all know how seriously Fadel and Bison take to the brother relationship, but Keen is pushed to the outside of this by Lily and her priorities. i had figured before episode 10 that they had been trained together for a longer period of time and maybe Keen had just not gotten along with them because he was jealous of their talents, but Fadel telling Style that he doesn't really know anything about Keen besides that they were adopted at the same time says to me that Lilly purposefully kept them apart instead of it being their choice.
Fadel saying they don't care about Keen makes me so sad for him. the fact that he only really knows that Keen was adopted at the same time and does other work for Lilly that's not in the field means they don't care because they don't know him at all. they haven't had the chance to bond with him the way that they did with each other. they weren't pushed together with him; they were pushed to each other, and Keen was pushed off on his own to watch them be the favoured children and struggle by himself.
imagine your parents are murdered in front of you, you're scooped up by this woman who says she's going to take care of you and build a family with you and two other boys your age who have been through the same experience, but then you're not as good as the other two boys at the tasks she sets you, plus the two of them deeply connect to each other and fall into a sibling bond and leave you outside of it. that you're kept so separate from them that despite being a "family" for years, they know basically nothing about you, while your shared mother keeps dangling the things you want right outside of your grasp.
she's driven a wedge between the boys so deep that Keen resents Fadel and Bison enough to WANT try to kill them himself, while they don't have any idea that he would even be willing or able to. he's been kept so far out of their notice while their successes and talents have been constantly waved in front of him as well as being consistently put down by Lilly for his mistakes and inadequacies. she's pushed Keen into a corner and made him think that it's Fadel and Bison's fault for putting him there instead of it being a way for her to control him and keep him under her thumb.
Fadel and Bison have given the impression from the first episode that it's the two of them against the world; brothers bonded so tightly together that nothing can shake that. they have a Mother, but really they only have each other. it's the two of them and it always will be. but there were three of them. there were three boys when this started. and they don't care about Keen. he's alone.
i'm really hoping that the current situation snaps Keen the rest of the way out of Lilly's control. he should have already figured out what his future looks like if he really wants out of the family business like he's promised Thanon, because if he's known the entire time that Fadel's last boyfriend got murdered instead of just leaving, he should be fully aware that they face the same fate if he tries to leave Lilly. with that knowledge plus finding out that Lilly killed his parents along with Fadel's and Bison's, hopefully he turns on her and helps the others take her down. her lack of hesitation to send him or other hired hitmen after the two favoured sons should be a pretty clear signal to him about her willingness to off him as well at the drop of a hat.
fingers crossed that Keen and Thanon get to have a happy life far away from Lilly and that he finally gets to have an actual family that doesn't involve manipulation, abuse, and murder.
#i hope all those kenta fans out there love keen just as much because he's been pushed around by lilly the same way tony did to kenta#have i turned myself into a keen defender? apparently#fadel saying he doesn't care about keen made me so sad tho and it was such an offhand comment from him that here we are with this long post#also let pepper and jj kiss on screen i am BEGGING you gmmtv pls#i mean unless they don't wanna kiss then that's okay too but like come on they're in all the boy kissing shows but never get to kiss boys#let them take a turn okay it's time#the heart killers#the heart killers meta#the heart killers ep 10#thk meta#thk ep 10#thk keen#thk fadel#thk bison#thk lilly
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me: *seeing people yell about how they did Glintshore & Percy's death in the show*
also me: ..................anyway
#maybe its because its been fuck knows how many years since i watched 90% of c1#but i actually find the way they're changing things up super fascinating#i have questions to be sure and i think they're all having so much fun watching people go THEY'RE NOT GONNA PERMAKILL PERCY ??#(they're obviously not going to leave percy dead)#but because so many things have been folded on top of each other to keep the pace in this several hundred hour campaign adaptation#idk! i just think it's neat! obviously we're not done with ripley yet so we'll see what happens there#also people being like “i didnt need a sad backstory for ripley” like that wasn't the most obvious vehicle to introduce the assembly#a lot of these scenes they're adding in or folding together are doing a LOT of work#the storytelling action economy is honestly astounding#like don't get me wrong i get why people are weirded out by it (i am too! It's strange!) BUT it's not being done carelessly#some of you lot just want everything done 1:1 when they simply do not have the time to be doing that#i think i might do a full write up of how impressive some of this is when the season ends bc it really is a mammoth task they've had#the legend of vox machina#tlovm#legend of vox machina#critical role#c1#vox machina#lvm spoilers#tlovm spoilers#edit: to be very clear. i have been here since the very beginning. don't fuck with me lmao
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cody, quietly: i thought you were dead. we all thought you were dead. why didn't you tell us–
obi-wan, gently touching his arm: i couldn't, dear. it would have jeopardized everything. i wanted to, really..
cody: they didn't let us go to the funeral.
obi-wan: i'm sorry.. ni ceta, cody.
cody, under his breath: don’t leave me.
obi-wan: never.
#commander cody#star wars the clone wars#obi wan kenobi#codywan#obi wan x cody#incorrect quotes#codywan incorrect quotes#written at 2:22 am– i'm sat here thinking abt the rako hardeen arc and the 212th like :(#based off that one fic cause its like the one scene i can sort of remember and i lowkey cried reading it because i love them#sad incorrect quotes :3
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dragon age is ours now. and it is up to us to keep it alive. a big part of the journey was the friends we made along the way - most of my best friends today i only met because i picked up a copy of origins back in 2009. i draw, at all, because of dragon age.
so keep making art. keep writing. keep making events and zines and rp campaigns about dragon age.
if there's one thing corporate greed will never be able to kill, it's your imagination.
farewell, dragon age. you were (are) it for me.
#bioware#dragon age#i rarely make personal posts here#but if this blog exists at all it's because of dragon age#this has been my hyperfixation and my joy for the past 15 years#and i am just really sad
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say it with me everybody: personal health is completely immaterial to morality, including mental health. leading a mentally unhealthy lifestyle (or what you perceive as a mentally unhealthy lifestyle) does not a bad person make. no one has to socialize, exercise, have healthy coping mechanisms, or lead (what you perceive as) a fulfilling life with fulfilling hobbies in the same way that no one has to go to the doctor to get a broken bone reset. both of those types of management of personal health are likely to be beneficial to the individual, but they are in no way moral requirements or debts owed to society. they do not actually say anything about a person's principles, personality, or actions towards others. additionally, people know themselves and their own situations better than you do. maybe a person judges that the physical and financial toll of going to the doctor outweigh the benefit of getting their bone reset, maybe a person just does not have the capacity to develop healthy coping mechanisms at this point in their life, and yes, maybe a person feels like they are totally fulfilled by "media based" hobbies alone and would feel no difference in their life if they picked up a loom. just like. let people be sick without accusing them of being representative of the lazy, degenerated state of modern society.
#marina marvels at life#there's a way people on here have been talking about ai/tiktok/movies/anti intellectualism/media hobbies/self care that all jives together#that just. really icks me out.#sometimes it comes through pretty transparently with people claiming that you must have regular sex to be a healthy/good person#or conversely that people are more sex crazed now than they've ever been and it's destroying literacy or whatever#or that cheating at school is scandalously immoral and only 'soft brained' bad people would do it#or that collectivism means you have to dress the right way and feel the right way and talk the right way#because your actions affect Others and you might upset someone or give off bad messages if you wear a crop top or are too sad#but a lot of the time it's just this strange plausibly-deniable tone I keep encountering that crept up some time in like 2021 I think#like. am I going crazy here or has anyone else been feeling this?
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