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anatomic-girl · 2 months ago

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“Speaking of Crowley,” Newt interrupted. He pointed behind Az. “I think that may be him.”

They all turned to see the man sauntering toward their blanket. He was still dressed in all black despite the warm day, looking more delicious than the picnic spread (if Az were to judge) in ripped jeans and a waffle-knit, long-sleeved top. Some kind of strange silver rope-tie swung with his every step, and he carried a black parasol over his shoulder to protect from the sun. His hair was loose, rippling down his back, and his sunglasses were entirely opaque.

“Crowley,” Az said, coming to his feet, face flushing with how breathless the word fell from his lips. They hadn’t seen each other since the evening of the crepes, though Crowley had taken to sending coffee selfies by text whenever he woke up (often hours after Az).

“Hey an—” Crowley stuttered and coughed, cheeks going slightly pink under the shadows of the parasol. He thumped his chest. “Hey Az! What a spread. Are we expecting more people? This is a lot of food!”

“Oh, you should’ve seen the list before I talked him out of a few things,” Ana said, drawing Crowley’s attention to her. A tiny frown line appeared between his eyes.

“Oh pish,” Aziraphale said. “You removed two items, and one of them was coffee.”

“No coffee?” Crowley said, raising an eyebrow over his glasses.

Az gave him his haughtiest look in return. “It was either that or the wine,” he said. “Did I make the wrong decision?”

Crowley laughed. “No, I suppose I’d rather have the wine.”

With a self-satisfied nod, Az sat back on the blanket and said, “Speaking of which, let me pour you a glass.”

***** Chapter 17 (Picnic) of The Regret List is up! It’s time for Crowley to meet some of Aziraphale’s friends, which is a little more complicated than anyone realized. Super special thanks to my beta @ineffablerainstorm for all their help with this one!!!

Fic notes: human AU, religious deconstruction, old friends, starting over late in life, rated E.

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #good omens fanart #fanfiction #good omens au #good omens fic #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #deconstruction

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bubbletune6 · 2 months ago

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0.005% of listeners apparently

#was not expecting that #but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised #my river song hyper fixation was very strong this year #river song #doctor x river #eleventh doctor #ana waffles #love this song #my posts

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bubbletune6 · 3 months ago

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Whilst I too would love stories of different years of the games, tbosas was such a compelling prequel plainly because of the new themes it can explore due to its unique perspective.

Stories in Panem that are left to be told are the ones that can add a meaningful contribution to the dystopian genre, by reflecting the sociopolitical realities of Panem, in a way that tributes (and victors) often can’t see and are powerless to change. Things like the workings of a propaganda machine inside a district or how career tributes come about, or the propaganda inside the Capitol and how in the course of a generation or two, the Hunger Games become glamourised and romanticised are all stories worth telling. Perhaps, even a tale after the Mockingjay of Commander Paylor attempting to establish a democratic government after years of tyranny, and the difficulties that may come with that.

The tales of the games are still interesting and meaningful, but I feel that they are best covered in fan fiction as much of the world of the games, their purpose, their impact and their end has been already established.

i think something that elevates the hunger games franchise is not just the quality of writing but the integrity of it. tbosas isn’t just a cash-grab by suzanne collins in the age of sequels and reboots (though i won’t pretend that didn’t play a part), it’s a character study of the main antagonist with a different structure than the main trilogy. and importantly, it doesn’t just re-hash the same old themes and beats the main trilogy had, it expands on not just the world of the hunger games but the themes as well, it actually has something new to say about the trilogy’s themes about class, capitalism, power, and control, in a way that couldn’t be explored with the main story because the protagonist of that story simply did not have access to the world that’s being explored in tbosas.

i understand the people who call for books/movies to be made about haymitch, finnick, johanna, different years of the games — we love those characters and want to see more of them! i’d kill for a novella on finnick’s days mentoring tributes, or katniss’s parents falling in love. but at the end of the day we probably wouldn’t be very satisfied with those stories being fleshed out if they had absolutely nothing new to say about the world, they’d be enjoyable, but not as interesting and engaging as tbosas has been.

#the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #thg #tbosas #coriolanus snow #lucy gray baird #finnick odair #haymitch abernathy #thg series #thg meta #ana waffles #hunger games analysis

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eddiegettingshot · 2 months ago

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i do feel like maybe he avoids conflict in his romantic relationships? or maybe it’s just that with ana and marisol he was just not invested enough to even have that intensity of emotion that leads to conflict. (until the end)

my thing is—is he avoiding conflict or is he faltering because he’s unsure about the outcome? eddie didn’t fuck shannon for two months without having a conversation with her because he was averse to fighting with her (all we really see of them is fighting), he was avoiding having the conversation they needed to have because he didn’t trust her and he didn’t trust Himself. when it came down to it, he told her outright that he didn’t trust her, he never waffled about that—and this makes sense because the consequences of his decision were going to be huge for chris. eddie marches his ass to chris’s school to yell at ana directly (before they’re together obviously) and he hesitates about breaking up with her, again, because he doesn’t want to hurt chris—but once he makes the decision he does it right away and he doesn’t budge or try to soften the blow of the conversation. i agree that with marisol he was avoiding conflict in 7x05 because he didn’t know how to explain to her his hangups around having sex with her, but the issue as a whole was that he wasn’t sure about how to move forward from that because it represented his concerns around the relationship as a whole. but like… again, once he figured out what he wanted (after 12 hours?) he was forthcoming with her.

like, i don’t think eddie is conflict-averse, i think that he’s a guy who’s used to being self-assured and he tends to falter and drag his feet when he’s in a situation where the outcome depends on him confronting things he would prefer not to think about—usually his own wants and needs. naturally this manifests in his shitty love life more than anywhere else. but i don’t think that has anything to do with how he feels about actually confronting people and having conflict in the first place, in which case he’s perfectly outspoken, so long as he’s sure about what he’s saying (and he usually is!). this is what makes the el paso reveal interesting—he tries to hide it both because he probably expects buck to react badly, and because he’s about to do something he isn’t certain about. once buck flips the tablet and takes the choice away from him he’s straightforward about what’s happening, regardless

#asks #i don’t think there’s anything to suggest that they weren’t fighting or having issues because eddie was actively avoiding engaging in that #with them. if that’s what you mean. like the relationships were just fine #partly because they Did Not Care about writing them. but. you know.#he did the same thing with kim btw. he didn’t know what he wanted with her or what he was doing. but he was decisive and honest about #the situation when he ended it because the issue for him was never with stirring the pot or hurting anyone. it was with his own uncertainty #and his own repression of his grief etc

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ponyregrets · 3 months ago

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I wanted to write about Buck and Eddie going in the ocean and I'd written most of it before I thought to check what the weather in LA is actually like right now (look, I'm in New England, I just think of it as Warm down there, okay?) and I decided to go with it anyway. as @frightfullytreeish said, get chilly, idiots

(806 coda, 1900 words, also on AO3)

"Hey, what brings you joy?"

Eddie is expecting some waffling in Buck's response. Maybe some suspicion. It's a weird thing to ask, obviously. Joy isn't a word he uses much, isn't a go-to. But even if what makes you happy is a more normal question, it's not right. He needs something deeper.

And of course there's the Tommy of it all. Buck hasn't exactly been mourning or anything, but he's obviously down. It wouldn't be unreasonable for him to say that nothing is bringing him joy at the moment. It's not a particularly joyful time.

But Buck doesn't hesitate, doesn't question. He just says, "The ocean," and doesn't even ask why Eddie wants to know.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I never saw it until I left Hershey. We never went to the beach or anything when I was a kid. The first time I saw it, I fell in love. It was the best thing I'd ever seen."

"I didn't know that."

Buck shrugs. "Doesn't come up that much. And I guess I always think I'll get used to it? But it's amazing every time. I never get tired of it."

He should have known, right? They've gone to the ocean together. Or--well, they've had calls near the water before. That guy who got struck by lightning. The shark.

The tsunami.

But they've never just gone. Buck has never tagged along with him and Chris on any of their trips, and he and Buck have no reason to just take a beach day together.

Joy doesn't need a reason, right? He can just do it.

"Cool," says Eddie. "Let's go."

"Now?"

"What else are we doing?"

It hasn't been a problem, exactly, their lack of things to do. It's just kind of new, the way they're hanging out in the last week. Usually they have Chris, or girlfriends, or boyfriends. They have some reason to stop being together, and now they just…don't. And Buck just keeps on coming over, hanging out on Eddie's couch, in his space, like he can't bear to be in his loft now that Tommy isn't there.

Or something.

"You got some trunks I can borrow?" Buck asks.

"Are we swimming?"

"You want to go to the beach and not swim?"

Most of the time, that's what he does. When Chris was younger he'd get in the water, but the last few years it's been Eddie supervising while Chris does his own thing far enough away that it doesn't look like he's being supervised.

But Chris is in Texas. And, yeah, it's November, but Buck doesn't seem to care.

"I'll see what I've got," he says and finds he has two pairs of trunks in good enough shape that he's not embarrassed about anyone wearing them. Small miracles.

He throws the bigger pair to Buck and then goes to change in his bedroom. Buck will be doing the same thing in the bathroom, not for the first time, but he's never been changing into Eddie's trunks before. Did Ana ever wear anything of his? Marisol didn't. Buck might be the first person since Shannon.

As long as they fit, it's fine. Not a big deal at all.

They take Buck's car, the podcast he's listening to about the issues with the keto diet resuming as soon as he turns it on. Hen has gotten tired of explaining why his diets might be a problem herself and is outsourcing, which Eddie can't blame her for, but he doesn't find the resources nearly as interesting as Buck does. He already knows he doesn't want to do keto.

"You don't need to cheer me up, you know," Buck says, about halfway to the beach, without bothering to pause the keto thing. "I'm doing okay."

"I know."

It's mostly true. Buck has seemed fine with the breakup. Not happy, but not heartbroken either. He's been a little quiet about it, more so than Eddie was expecting. All he'll say is that Tommy initiated it, but he understands why.

"I'm trying to be happier," he tells Buck. "For me."

"Is that a thing you can try? Like, aren't you just happy or not?"

"If that was true, the ocean wouldn't bring you joy, right?" He lets out a breath, his stomach tied in inconvenient knots. "Someone pointed out that when I had the choice between something that would make me happy and something that wouldn't, I picked the one that wouldn't."

Buck mulls this over for a long moment. "I always figured that's because you're more mature than I am." It's only half a joke.

"Yeah, that's one way of looking at it." His breath shudders more this time. "Anyway. I'm not doing that anymore. I'm looking for things that bring me joy. So I figure if the ocean does that for you, maybe it'll do it for me, too."

"I hope so."

They set up like Eddie would with Chris, towels and belongings planted in the sand, the only difference that they left their phones in the car since no one is staying behind. He keeps his back turned as they shed the layers of clothing they have on, but when Buck hands him a tube of sunscreen, he has no choice but to stare at the expanse of bare back. The motions are familiar, nothing he hasn't done a thousand times for Chris, but…

Well, he's never done it for Buck.

Buck makes him turn around so he can return the favor, a much less familiar process. These days, he usually leaves his shirt on.

But he knows Buck's hands. They're familiar, all heat and callus. Careful, incongruously so. Buck looks like he's built clumsy, someone who can't do delicate work, and maybe he knows that too. Like happiness to Eddie, precision doesn't come naturally to Buck. He has to put the effort in, and he does. Eddie's skin lights up with every stroke of Buck's hands, so he's sure that Buck gets every inch.

And then he keeps going a little longer. Just to make sure.

"Okay," says Buck at last. "We're good to go."

Eddie is expecting Buck to run into the ocean like an overgrown puppy, all bright enthusiasm despite the chill, but he's cautious. He dips a toe in, then his foot, then the other. He walks in slowly enough that Eddie overtakes him, even though he's not running. He's just eager.

"The first time I went into the ocean, I was in Virginia Beach," Buck explains without making Eddie ask. "It was May, and I thought it would be warm enough, it was a hot May. But I ran in and it was so cold. I ran right back out."

"Goes to show," says Eddie.

"What, exactly? I know how the water's going to be today. It's cold."

The water is probably around the same temperature as it was in Virginia Beach in May. Eddie shivers, but doesn't stop, not until he's up past his knees. He smiles at Buck, who's still just letting the waves lap his toes. "Yeah, it's nice anyway. It's hot out."

"Not hot enough."

"It's fine."

He's in up to his ankles now. "You're not getting the joy, though."

"I am."

"Eddie."

"I'm getting used to it."

"You're not supposed to get used to it. You're supposed to be be making choices that make you happy right away, right?"

"I am happy," he says again, and it doesn't feel like a lie. "It's nice, there's no one else here. And it's not cold enough for us to get hypothermia."

"Are you sure this isn't just for me?" Eddie cocks his head, and Buck clarifies, "For my benefit."

"Should it be?"

Buck kicks at a wave. "He said I wasn't ready. Tommy. That's why he broke up with me. I asked him to move in with me, and he broke it off instead."

"So he's an idiot," Eddie says. "Always knew there was a chance, but I was hoping I was wrong."

"Is he, though? Was he wrong? I didn't really want him to move in. I just wanted…" He huffs. "I want to be done with this, you know? I'm ready to be with someone. And I think it could have been him."

It's not like getting shot, or even like getting punched. It's like a bullet or a fist going past him, close enough to graze the skin. Close enough that he's thinking about how much it could have hurt.

"But that's shitty, right? Like, how long could I have kepg going just because I didn't have a reason to break up with him? He was…fun. I liked him. I liked feeling like I'd figured it out. Like that was the last piece. I like guys too."

"Maybe it was," Eddie says. The water is lapping against his legs, the surf gentle. He's used to the temperature where he's submerged, but it's only halfway up his thighs. Every time the droplets splash higher, there's this shock of sharp little pinpricks.

He's so fucking happy.

"Maybe that was the last piece, but that doesn't mean Tommy is it. Maybe you're ready, but you're not ready for him."

"I'm just tired," says Buck. "I'm tired of waiting for someone to want me enough, you know? I'm ready to settle."

"You shouldn't," says Eddie. "You shouldn't be with someone just to be with anyone."

"You can build it," he argues, like Chris angling for a later bedtime or more video games before homework. "Love. Like you and Shannon did."

Nausea roils his stomach. "We didn't. It wasn't like that."

"I know it wasn't perfect, but you two were working on it. You were going to--"

"She wanted a divorce. Before she died. That was one of the last things she told me. We weren't going to have another kid, we weren't going to get married again, we weren't going to be together." He's not crying, but in that way where he is very aware that he's not crying. Where Not Crying is currently defining his existence. "I think we could have been friends," he says. "And maybe we could have figured it out. Been together again, made it good. That's what I told myself. And that's…easy."

"Easy?" Buck asks, in a small voice. Like Eddie is telling him a fairy tale he wishes could be true.

Which Eddie is, actually.

"If she was the love of my life and I lost her, then that was it. No one else would ever measure up. Nothing else could ever be as good. It was never going to work."

"But she wasn't?"

"Maybe she was. Or maybe--" He's Not Crying. "Maybe I don't just get one love, or even just one life. Maybe it doesn't have to be about finding her again. It can be about finding someone new. Someone who…"

He chokes then, the words dying in his throat. Buck is dazzling in the sunlight, his eyes as blue as the sea, his expression open, waiting. His whole existence focused on Eddie.

Eddie would marry him today. Eddie would marry him tomorrow, Eddie would marry him yesterday. Eddie would tie himself to Buck in any way Buck could think of, in every way, with wills, with contracts, with mortgages, with handcuffs, with string.

"Someone who brings me joy," he finishes.

"Joy," says Buck. He looks over the horizon, smiles, shakes his head.

Eddie's chest is too small and too big. He's never had so much in him.

"I've never had that," he muses. "Someone who makes me feel like the ocean."

"Like the ocean," Eddie says. "Yeah."

#9-1-1 #911 spoilers #buddie #911 fic

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