#an unhinged raccoon

[nyxthejinx]

Hello, it's been a while since I wrote, the university is crazy. Location: Sumeru desert. Local time: Midnight "Wow wow, my dear big brother found himself a new pet to call family…they're so cutesy I get…Yuck!" -Scarlet swung her greatsword and threw it between Diluc and the traveler, hitting a column and making it fall and almost crushed them. The Scarlet Fury of the Fatui let out a loud laugh that seemed like the laugh of the devil himself, raised her hand and returned her command to it, from her body came an aura that did not belong to any elemental order of this world. -

"What did Dottore do to you?" -Diluc was disconcerted, in front of him was the only person for whom he would break the heavens, he almost did not recognize her, not because of her Fatui uniform, but because of the murderous look she projected towards the man- "Concentrate on the fight, big brother" -she replied with a grim smile, charging her attack against the red-haired man with the greatsword charged with dark energy- -Diluc could barely contain the blow, gritting his teeth fighting to return that tremendous force. The traveler attacked the Fatui from behind, but he dodged it in a fluid movement, and the blonde had no choice but to crash into Diluc for that maneuver- -A flash of purple electricity was detected by the Fatui who dodged a downward attack from Cyno- "Fatui… Your actions will be judged against my strength" -the general of the Mahamatra speaks seriously, very enraged by the danger in which the traveler found himself. While the Fatui looked at him with eyes full of sparkles of stars and his cheeks flushed, accompanied by a smile full of jubilation-

… "And then we were tied, and he told me that next time I won't be so lucky" -the redhead Fatui muffled a cry into the pillow she was hugging, resembling a love-struck fifteen-year-old- "The General of the Mahamatra is such an electrifying man"

"Less fantasies of lovers and more attention to the next one, that Cyno guy broke an arm, four ribs and not to mention that your uniform was shattered" -Dottore furiously reminded the teenager of the results of his confrontation against the man- "I heard you like that game of cards and dice, should I get you some new cards or a custom case instead?"

"Damn it, Scarlet"

{In the city of Sumeru there was a bedridden Cyno with various sections of his body in casts and an angry ranger guarding him}

I swear- I SWEAR I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT THAT CONCEPT. I swear I try to write a single chapter, but it goes down the drain because I change my mind like, instantly. I've been shaping and reshaping this story so much during these months + every update contributed to that 🦍

I cannot thank you enough for fanning the flame because this had me feeling all silly and goofy (as if we weren't talking about a war criminal who's probably banned from 6/7 regions of Teyvat). The fact that it was a Childe x reader doesn't mean I won't lose my shit over that dad-jokes-spitting-machine we love so much.

They're enemies to lovers, your honour, idc that cyno is a justice fanboy. Reader is mostly crazy af, but they also spit some rational good shit from time to time, things that will have Cyno wracking his brain. Things that are, like, a new mad and feverish perspective on the world, one he never considered and maybe isn't so wrong.

It's such a wicked concept, who's gonna give in first? I think no one would be able to abandon their path, honestly.

Cyno can see where they're getting with their logic, but their ways are simply wrong and so deranged. There are times when he catches a glimpse of the real rag!sibling, and he thinks it'd be amazing if he could free them from their ties with the fatui. But he knows it's just a silly fantasy.

While reader finds Cyno's devotion to lawfulness cute, to say the least. He's so pure and precious, but also deadly, of course they'd find him attracting. It's not enough to stop them from dirtying their hands, though... They've been feasting on violence all their life, as if they'd stop now.

They'll show their weird affection through violence and murder attempts </3

But yeah I'm gonna review this story again bye aheuwheh

[bibmob]

reposting from ig cuz why not 🌻

[jmorpart]

Some Gortash coded unhinged textposts I made recently.

There’s more but I hit the image limit 💔💔

Thought Y’all would enjoy them teehee 🫶

Photo credit for the cult leader tweet: @bearhugsandshrugs :)

[twistedappletree]

[cptnghoulowl]

So I've been playing Star Rail and from what I've seen, basically the main trio are SIBLINGS. I love them.

[imtrashraccoon]

I realized that I need another nickname for the MC of Swarmed By Sirens.

Red uses Speckles and Sans has been calling her Little Fish. These are cute of course but now I need one for...drumroll please...

Skull!

I'm leaning towards Squishy? As in a reference to the little jellyfish in Finding Nemo? But it also sounds odd imo.

What do you think? Any other ideas?

[the-nation-of-today]

Christian “White Girl Wasted” Coma would have a brat summer

[aliasrocket]

I wanted to say something for an anonymous comment about feeling less embarrassed of having feelings for Rocket. I must say I totally understand that.

A month ago, when GOTG VOL 3 was released, I went to see it at the cinema with my mother, I spent the whole movie very excited for Rocket, but right in that scene where he is on the verge of death and he meets Lylla again, SOMETHING INSIDE IT CHANGED ABOUT ME, because when they were hugging I realized I was JEALOUS, and in my mind I thought "OH NO, IT'S HAPPENING TO ME AGAIN", because I always fall for characters that might be unconventional or weird to other people , then I start looking for fics and I realize that there are not many for the same reason, or there are many where it is more platonic and I think "IT IS NOT ENOUGH" And it's more complicated for me because my first language is not English and in my language there is NOTHING. So meeting people who write Rocket the way I imagined really makes me very happy. I'm even thinking about writing some one shots myself but it's hard, I've never written NSFW and I find it kind of funny that I want to start with Rocket.

Oh my god this was absolutely sweet.

Yes!! Everyone IT IS OKAY TO LIKE UNCONVENTIONAL CHARACTERS. LITERALLY, IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL!! JUST BE YOU!!!

And I’m really sorry there isn’t much fics in your language, but on the bright side I’m really happy that you’re at least able to read and write in english even if it isn’t your first language!

Also, yeah, in my experience, besides sighing the whole goddamn movie (except for the first 10 mins, I will give myself that,) I remember leaving the theatre in a sigh and going on ao3 like “ah shit, here we go again” bc this is the 1982838th time I’ve visited ao3 for some really obscure ship or an x reader fic for a very underrated character.

And about that Rocket smut, I understand how can it be daunting and I’d really love to help you!

Ykw, let me make a quick guide for anyone who’s scared of writing Rocket smut!! But for those of you who wouldn’t wanna read some real ugly/stupid stuff, don’t press the ‘keep reading’ line, haha.

a quick (and definitely unhinged) guide to writing Rocket smut XD

OBVIOUS NSFW WARNING!!! It gets ugly guys please THIS IS YOUR WARNING I’M NOT JOKING!!

If you’re uncomfortable with heavy nsfw please turn away now!!

written by aliasrocket (89P13 on ao3 hehe)

Suitable for any smut involving Rocket! (Looking at you guys, roquill shippers. Don’t worry, I welcome all ships on my blog <3)

This is supposed to be a writing smut guide specifically meant for Rocket so I’m not gonna go into the basics of writing smut, but if you’re a total beginner, here’s some pointers to help :

the genitals, legs, muscles, brain : main places that tend to be the most stimulated, exhausted or absolutely wiped. That being said, you can use these as a starting point for describing the feelings the characters or the reader may feel in the moment.

besides the main thing, you could try to set the mood by maybe mentioning how the moans sounded like, (screams, squeals, cries etc.) and other things the characters were doing to ground them in the moment, like gripping the sheets, gripping the other person’s shoulder or hips, etc.

Okay, so, about Rocket in particular …

Yeah, of course writing smut about a fucking Raccoon isn’t going to be fucking easy. But don’t worry, as someone who has studied all 3 gotg films and slowed down quite possibly every single Rocket clip in existence (enough to know Rocket … is genuinely CANONICALLY is very particular/skilled with his fingers, he knows where he’s putting them and knows EXACTLY which buttons to press on any tech, so … definitely good at using his fingers if you catch my drift) I think I might have gotten the hang of it to help some of you guys out.

So first off, when I write Rocket smut I always imagine he’s his comic height instead of his mcu height (don’t search it up, you’re just gonna be depressed about it trust me) so all you have to know is that if he pressed you up against a wall his head would be around your shoulder blade area. For missionary, he’s probably around your collarbone.

Rocket canonically has sharp and absolutely grown out nails. No, they’re not retractible. I’ve done research on this, but if you’d like to write him fingering someone, Rocket can have his nails trimmed.

It would hurt if Rocket bit you. Like, it would fucking bleed. So I’m sorry to say to those biting kink girlies (those are me hi) but Rocket can only afford to give you or someone else some nibbles on the skin unless you guys want some serious bloodplay on your hands. This is because he has protruding fangs on both his upper and lower row of teeth, his lower ones more prominent than the top.

Rocket can, however, eat you out. Don’t wanna get too into depth with this but basically his tongue can stick out his muzzle pretty well and his nose makes for a good clit-stimulator HAHAHAH

!!! : (this is going to be a description of the average raccoon penis so skip this if you don’t wanna know about this because you can DEFINITELY write Rocket smut without having to know this so please be free) I had to research this for a very specific request (pls ily shameless anon/pos) and I almost cried out of the loss of my sanity but anyway, raccoons have a baculum bone which is basically a bone in their penis that helps with copulation, its average length is about 4 inches but can be longer if you catch my drift. The genital itself is a like a rod with a ‘spiky’ end (it’s not actually spiky but it looks that way) compared to human genitalia, kind of like a cat’s but much longer and it is a very dark shade of brown or just plain black. Feel free to use any of these for a possible description if ever you need it, though I never really talk about it in fics, especially the whole ‘spiky’ thing. That being said, Rocket should not have an issue with size, as the the average human male genitalia is about five inches, meaning he can hit anyone’s g-spot just fine.

I might add more points if I have any more but this is all I got right now. I really hope this somehow encouraged you to write that nsfw fic you wanted, and just know everyone’s got interests, it’s fine if not a lot of people irl are into Rocket that way, because that’s literally what the internet is for!

[lunaetis]

a friendly reminder that you're always welcomed ( and encouraged ) to turn any crack / casual responses into threads. ( this includes but not limited to dash games, commentary, opens, random posts, etc. ) i'm pretty slow with starters & asks, and sometimes crack / casual interaction is a good way to break the ice between muses or get some development / bonding time going ! so pls feel free to take them & run & see where things go !

[dfivedesign]

Pew pew ✨ this cowboy raccoon is tootin'🦝

https://dfive.threadless.com/designs/rootin-tootin-cowboy-raccoon/mens/t-shirt/regular

[heathercauthor]

Book is called Earth Sucks! What's your favourite character dynamics?

Synopsis: It's the apocalypse, and Feng has a knack for pissing people off.

Mercenary Feng is both the hunter and the hunted, searching for his missing family while hunted by the alien intruders who are trying to get him to stop blowing their shit up.

Life gets worse when he must befriend one of the alien creatures to survive. She grew up on stories of humans, and Feng’s about to upend everything she's ever known—if they don't get each other killed first.

"Readers may appreciate the many twists and betrayals..." —Kirkus Reviews

"Action-packed, fast-paced sci-fi story bursting with psychological games and manipulations..." —Readers' Favorite

If you like the last of us, the 100, or any version of HASO, check out Earth Sucks On Amazon, Kobo or Barnes and Noble!

[ohfugecannada]

Rocket Raccoon issue #1 (1985)

Written by BILL MANTLO

art by by MIKE MIGNOLA, AL GORDON and CHRISTIE SCHEELE

[hairstevington]

EVEN MORE Chaotic Stranger Things Headcanons!

It's that time again... (follow-up to part one and part two)

-Eddie names all of his trailer park raccoons. His favorite one is named Wayne because he likes confusing people into a game of are you talking about your uncle or a fucking raccoon, ex “yeah last night was weird, I found wayne in the bathtub”

-re: above, Eddie tells Robin Wayne bit him and she freaks out and is like omg is your uncle possessed by Vecna or something? And he’s like no Robin the other Wayne and she’s like OH ok but also you should really get a rabies shot

-later Eddie names one Steve Harrington. First and last name. Steve hates it so much. Eddie teases him about needing to love himself more.

-the party all thought MADMAX (the person who was #1 in digdug) was Max Mayfield, but really it was Ted Wheeler, who’d gotten a day off from work and decided to spend those eight hours at the arcade instead of at home

-the super embarrassing thing that Erica found under Lucas’ bed were several cassettes of him singing, including one where he wrote and performed a song for Max that he immediately decided he could never show her

-Joyce robs a bank. She’s not very discreet about it, but what are they gonna do? Call the police??

-Will has had superpowers since season 2, he just never uses them. One day Mike is talking about how badass his superhero girlfriend is and Will snaps and is like “actually she’s not special” then like throws a pillow at Mike with his mind or something

[citrine-elephant]

leon kennedy definitely the kind of guy to keep his cool when dealing with a being-captured-by-baddies situations

but as a treat, i will imagine him struggling. just a bit. lil treat.

[zyonsay]

Angry oscar piastri is just-yeah 🙈

Like he can do things to me that I can't even imagine in the first place, if that makes sense

-🦝

NO BECAUSE IMAGINE HIM ANGRY BECAUSE OF A BAD RACE AND THEN HE JUST LETS OFF STEAM BY FUCKING YOUR LIGHTS OUT-

I swear i screamed without the s when my friend showed me an edit of him being angry at carlos