#an excellent question ron

[bcbdrums]

Kim: Give up! We're taking you in! Shego: Sorry, I'm allergic to prisons. Drakken: And synthetic fabrics! Shego: ....Dr. D.... Kim: Ron: Wait, then what exactly is your suit made of?

[sweet-s0rr0w]

in the greek tradition

a little something silly for @peachydreamxx, after our chat about statues in British stately homes! with art by the lovely @faiell!😘

***

“Malfoy! Oi, Malfoy!”

Weasley’s shout is unexpected and yet somehow typically obnoxious, shattering the end-of-summer stillness as effectively as a Bludger through a window. Draco closes his novel carefully around a finger, optimistically keeping the page. “What is it?” he hisses – via Patronus, of course, since he refuses to screech back across the Manor’s gardens like an oik.

Of course, Weasley doesn’t get the hint. “Malfoy!” he bellows again, from somewhere behind the box hedge, sounding ominously full of mirth. “C’mere a moment, would you?”

Playing to an imaginary audience, Draco rolls his eyes heavenwards, testing the weight of his book in his hand and briefly considering the merits of telling Weasley to fuck off. Of course, in the end his curiosity gets the better of him, and so with a beleaguered sigh he gets to his feet and follows the sound of laughter all the way down to the herbaceous garden, where Potter and Weasley are loitering incongruously, their Auror uniforms a garish blood-red amongst the muted pastels of the foxgloves.

“Course your Patronus is a bloody great swan,” says Weasley, stating the obvious as usual, yet grinning away like he’s told the world’s funniest joke.

Beside him, Potter looks a bit sheepish. “Alright, Malfoy?” he asks, shifting his weight from one foot to another.

“What’s going on?” asks Draco, determinedly ignoring their antics.

“Right, yeah,” says Weasley, tugging his hand out of his pocket to gesture roughly past the alliums. “What we were wondering was – who’s this guy?”

Draco follows his gaze – and – ah. Weasley’s talking about the sculpture, then. The very striking, very buff, very naked marble sculpture, which towers over the garden with his wand caught dramatically mid-flourish, his head thrown back, and his eyes closed in some kind of ecstasy. Draco probably should have realised sooner, what with all the time he’d spent alone in the herbaceous garden as a sexually frustrated teen.

“What?” he asks, having now forgotten the question entirely.

“Because, right, I reckon it’s some ancient hero. Like Merlin, or something–”

“Really, Weasley? You think that’s what Merlin looked like?”

“–but Harry says it must be a Malfoy.”

Draco blinks.

 “The hair,” Potter says, quickly. “It’s the same as – you know, you’ve all got all that, like, loose, flowy, glossy… you know. Also,” he adds, “no offense, but having a sculpture of yourself in your own garden seems like kind of a Malfoy thing to do.”

“Yeah,” Ron said. “Plus you’re all dramatic as fuck. So who’s right?”

Draco considered the statue for a moment: even moss-stained and weather-worn, it did have excellent hair. Also, pleasingly muscular thighs. “Potter’s right,” he’s forced to admit – at this moment, his second least favourite phrase. “This is a young Xanthus Malfoy the second. An excellent hunter, by all accounts, and one of the last Malfoys to sit in the… what?” he demands, interrupting Weasley, who’s giving Potter what can only be described as a meaningful look. “What’s going on? Why are you both giggling?”

Weasley says nothing. His ears are turning pink: Draco hopes he’s getting sunburnt.

“Well,” begins Potter, nodding vaguely back towards the statue. “We were just saying that he’s… well. That he’s – that it’s a little–”

“You got that right,” Weasley mutters.

“What?”

Potter presses his lips together, avoiding Draco’s gaze. “Well,” he says, delicately. “The thing is. While I’m sure he was an excellent hunter, this particular Malfoy seems to be, well. Lacking something. Deficient, you might say. In one certain – area.”

“His cock, Malfoy,” Weasley adds, helpfully. “His cock’s miniscule, and while we’re at it, his bollocks aren’t much to write home about either. The whole package’s rather… unfortunate, I’d say. What’s going on? Are micropenises a family trait, or did they just run out of stone?”

“Marble,” Draco says, faintly. “It’s marble. And by the way, you two are children.”

“Come on, Malfoy,” says Potter, grinning. “You can’t pretend you hadn’t noticed.”

“It’s deliberate, you philistine! It’s sculpted in the fucking Greek tradition!”

“Right.”

“And while we’re at it, it’s symbolic! The… diminutive penis represents mastery over one’s baser instincts. The triumph of intellectualism over… animalistic urges.”

Weasley frowns. “What you on about now?”

“I think, Ron,” Potter says, “that what Malfoy’s suggesting is that the bigger the dick, the stupider the man. Explains a lot, you know.” He smirks, eyeing Weasley in a manner that makes Draco’s brain feel like it may be the wrong size for his skull.

“Oi,” Weasley laughs, reaching out gleefully to whack Potter, who dodges sideways, then turns his ankle on the edge of a flowerbed and falls neatly into a lavender bush.

“It half makes sense,” Weasley says, offering Potter a hand to tug himself up. “The tiny prick thing. I mean, Malfoy certainly thinks he’s clever.”

“He does,” Potter chokes out, clearly on the verge of hysteria. Draco throws up his arms in frustration.

“For Merlin’s sake, Weasley!” he cries, as Potter wobbles dangerously close to the ornamental fountain. “Just because the statue’s got a–”

“It’s alright, Malfoy,” Weasley cuts in, soothingly. “I’ve heard some people are into that kind of thing. Tiny dicks, I mean.” He turns back to Potter, voice strained. “Not that I’ve met any, obviously.”

“I don’t have a tiny dick!” Draco cries, outraged. “I’ll prove it! I’ll show you both! I’ll show you both right fucking now–”

It’s unfair, and unconscionable, and somehow Draco’s hand is down his pants before he can even help himself, and that’s when Weasley finally stops laughing. “Alright, alright!” he exclaims, throwing his hands in the air. “Keep your fancy knickers on, Malfoy. We believe you. Right, Harry?”

Potter’s not laughing either, now, and he doesn’t reply; he’s too busy staring, as, jaw set, and mustering all the dignity he can manage, Draco releases his grip on his (perfectly decent sized) penis, and slides his hand carefully out from beneath his waistband. He glares at them both, tugging his robe tightly shut.

“Right?” Weasley repeats, louder this time. “We don’t need to see proof, eh, Harry?”

Potter’s eyes are still fixed on a point somewhere below Draco’s navel, and his cheeks are now stained a most fetching pink. The sun is rather strong today, Draco thinks, feeling his own face heating.

“Harry?”

***

tons of thanks to @tackytigerfic for looking it over 😘

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Ok so Harry has a tendency to blatantly state out loud just how much the Dursleys don't give two shits about him (to the point that the people around him think it's just a typical teenager over exaggerating their complaints), but... Does he realise that the way he is being treated by them is wrong?

Also like, I know that the way the Dursleys treated him plays a huge part in the way Harry behaves and views himself- specifically him not thinking an adult is a reliable source of help and protection + his disastrouly low self esteem + how he doesn't respond to Snape's everything (which is the exact opposite of what James would have done) ... But what are the other ways in which he got affected and it shows? (Someone once mentioned that they hc that when feeling extreme emotions Harry tends to skip out on food and may have nearly wasted away in his second year had it not been for Ron and Hermione- which is also why they act so much like Harry's bodyguards)

Yep, Harry put no effort into hiding his abuse. He literally told anyone who would listen. By 5th year, he was making jokes about it to Ron and Hermione who seemed used to it.

Now, you've raised a few questions and I'll try to answer them to the best of my ability.

Does he realise that the way he is being treated by them is wrong?

I think he does. Most of his comments about his relatives' treatment definitely sound like Harry is very aware that he shouldn't be treated like that.

“I told you, I didn’t — but it’ll take too long to explain now — look, can you tell them at Hogwarts that the Dursleys have locked me up and won’t let me come back, and obviously I can’t magic myself out, because the Ministry’ll think that’s the second spell I’ve done in three days, so —” “Stop gibbering,” said Ron. “We’ve come to take you home with us.” “But you can’t magic me out either —” “We don’t need to,” said Ron, jerking his head toward the front seat and grinning. “You forget who I’ve got with me.” “Tie that around the bars,” said Fred, throwing the end of a rope to Harry. “If the Dursleys wake up, I’m dead,” said Harry as he tied the rope tightly around a bar and Fred revved up the car. “Don’t worry,” said Fred, “and stand back.”

(COS, page 31)

“It was cloudy, Mum!” said Fred. “You keep your mouth closed while you’re eating!” Mrs. Weasley snapped. “They were starving him, Mum!” said George. “And you!” said Mrs. Weasley, but it was with a slightly softened expression that she started cutting Harry bread and buttering it for him.

(COS, page 39)

But Harry wasn’t going to stand for this. Gone were the days when he had been forced to take every single one of the Dursleys’ stupid rules.

(GOF, page 33)

“Excellent,” said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. “We’ve got about a minute, I think. We should probably get out into the garden so we’re ready. Harry, I’ve left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry —” “They won’t,” said Harry. “That you’re safe —” “That’ll just depress them.” “— and you’ll see them next summer.” “Do I have to?” Lupin smiled but made no answer.

(OOTP, page 54)

“You don’t seem to need many qualifications to liaise with Muggles. . . . All they want is an O.W.L. in Muggle Studies. . . . ‘Much more important is your enthusiasm, patience, and a good sense of fun!’ ” “You’d need more than a good sense of fun to liaise with my uncle,” said Harry darkly. “Good sense of when to duck, more like . . .”

(OOTP, page 657)

It seems Harry is very much aware that the way he is being treated is wrong. the younger Weasleys and Hermione are clearly aware of that too. Harry calls the Dursleys' rules stupid, he knows the Dursleys aren't treating him the way they should and that he doesn't have to take it. That he shouldn't have to take it.

Harry is kind of a best-case scenario of an abused kid and Dumbledore was so lucky Harry ended up functional enough for his plans. It could've so easily gone down differently.

Honestly, I'm enraged on Harry's behalf at how Arthur, Molly, and Lupin (and every other adult) just completely ignore his mistreatment. He really does just state plainly what's going on and has Ron, Fred, George, and Hermione backing up everything he says.

What are the other ways in which he got affected and it shows?

I do like when Harry's approach to food is affected by the Dursleys starving him, that being said, there isn't really any book evidence for it. It's an interesting headcanon to explore though. His low self-esteem, willingness to endanger himself, and his thinking that adults be counted on are definitely effects seen in the books. As for other things we do see in the books:

1. Harry is actually really quiet. He doesn't speak as much as Ron and Hermione and he's pretty awkward with social interaction. He mimics Ron in many ways since he never had any friends before him.

His approach to studying is one of the ways he mimics Ron socially. Harry actually read their school books before 1st year, he found Hedwig's name in a History of Magic. And he planned to study at the beginning of Philosopher's Stone. Then he meets Ron and realizes no one in Gryffindor except Hermione actually studies, and she is hated for it. So he didn't bother studying either, even though he planned to because he wanted to fit in.

2. Harry isn't great at emotional regulation, specifically anger. Harry is a pretty angry character and throughout the books, he actually has moments when he completely loses himself to a sense of anger.

A boiling hate erupted in Harry’s chest, leaving no place for fear. For the first time in his life, he wanted his wand back in his hand, not to defend himself, but to attack . . . to kill.

(POA, page 339)

“Madame Maxime!” said Fleur at once, striding over to her headmistress. “Zey are saying zat zis little boy is to compete also!” Somewhere under Harry’s numb disbelief he felt a ripple of anger. Little boy?

(GOF, page 275)

Harry sat there staring at Snape as the lesson began, picturing horrific things happening to him. . . . If only he knew how to do the Cruciatus Curse . . . he’d have Snape flat on his back like that spider, jerking and twitching. . . .

(GOF, page 300)

If Dudley’s friends saw him sitting here, they would be sure to make a beeline for him, and what would Dudley do then? He wouldn’t want to lose face in front of the gang, but he’d be terrified of provoking Harry. . . . It would be really fun to watch Dudley’s dilemma; to taunt him, watch him, with him powerless to respond . . . and if any of the others tried hitting Harry, Harry was ready — he had his wand . . . let them try . . . He’d love to vent some of his frustration on the boys who had once made his life hell —

(OOTP, page 11)

He does calm down the older he gets. But he definitely has a lot of anger in him.

3. Harry, in general, has a disrespect for authority. I assume this is an extension of his distrust of adults, in that no teacher or nurse ever helped him. Harry is so anti-authority and anti-orders, that he can resist the Imperius Curse decently from the first try.

Harry just doesn't do orders or authority. Actually in the earlier books, and even in books 6 and 7, Harry has his doubts about Dumbledore. He repeatedly tells people he's Dumbledore's man, but in his head, he has doubts. Like he has for any other adult with authority over him.

“Dumbledore’s been driven out of this castle by the mere memory of me!” he hissed. “He’s not as gone as you might think!” Harry retorted. He was speaking at random, wanting to scare Riddle, wishing rather than believing it to be true —

(COS, page 282)

“Because the Ministry of Magic’s still after me, and Voldemort will know all about me being an Animagus by now, Wormtail will have told him, so my big disguise is useless. There’s not much I can do for the Order of the Phoenix . . . or so Dumbledore feels.” There was something about the slightly flattened tone of voice in which Sirius uttered Dumbledore’s name that told Harry that Sirius was not very happy with the headmaster either. Harry felt a sudden upsurge of affection for his godfather.

(OOTP, pages 82-83)

He's very distrusting of adults and authority, but also his peers. He doesn't tell Ron and Hermione everything in the earlier books because he is very slow to trust. Which, makes sense for someone who grew up like he did.

4. His occasional impulsiveness is an extension of his issues with emotional regulation, I think.

5. I think Harry's cunning Slytherin streak is a result of his abuse. The Dursleys' mistreatment taught him to sneak around, to lie, to be clever. It taught him to keep a blank face when being yelled at because if he reacted it'll make it worse.

He learned how to insult the Dursleys in ways that go over Dudley's head. His little way to rebel.

6. His response to pain as well. We see it with Umbridge and the blood quill for example:

He let out a gasp of pain. The words had appeared on the parchment in what appeared to be shining red ink. At the same time, the words had appeared on the back of Harry’s right hand, cut into his skin as though traced there by a scalpel — yet even as he stared at the shining cut, the skin healed over again, leaving the place where it had been slightly redder than before but quite smooth. Harry looked around at Umbridge. She was watching him, her wide, toadlike mouth stretched in a smile. “Yes?” “Nothing,” said Harry quietly. He looked back at the parchment, placed the quill upon it once more, wrote I must not tell lies, and felt the searing pain on the back of his hand for a second time

(OOTP, page 267)

Harry can hide his pain and not react to it, and he does it well. He learned from the Dursleys that she wants to see his pain, and he isn't going to give her what she wants. Instead, he grits his teeth through it and doesn't react externally.

Even later in the book when Umbridge threatens with the Crociatus Curse, Harry just braces himself for it, not planning to break (in later books too, Harry is very willing to get hurt and just deal with it). He is willing to take torture without reacting, and I think this is something he got from the Dursleys.

These are the some other things that came to mind regarding your question. There are probably more that I can't think of now that I might add later. Harry is who he is in part because of his nightmare of a childhood. So many facets of his personality just link back to it.

[tgmsunmontue]

I never knew I was missing you 9/9

Jake is just trying to find a connection. Shame the guy he connects with the most is lying about his identity online; because he sure as hell isn't A-list Hollywood star Bradley Bradshaw.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT

PART NINE

                Bradley already feels comfortable having Jake in his space, which is unusual but he’s not going to question it. He can tell Jake’s earlier trepidation about the size of the house has slipped away now he’s spent a little more time in it, can see he understands what parts are more Neil or Callie’s, what areas Bradley definitely considers his. He’s made use of the home gym already, eyes watching Bradley as he came in to do his own workout with Neil. Then he’d sat and watched him sweat and huff under the guise of stretching before Neil had sent them both off to shower with an amused huff; clearly knowing that they’d be showering together.

                Jake is soft and sweet, then swings to snarky and sexy and Bradley already finds himself delighting in it, laughing more freely, and both Neil and Callie have already commented on it. He has a good feeling about it all.

…            …            …

                “Where’s your guest Mav?”

                “Yeah Mav, where are they?” Jake asks, and Bradley looks between them. It’s the first time he’s seen Jake and Mav together, was worried that Jake might suddenly become all deferential, but that’s not happened and a part of him is very relieved. He wants them to get on.

                “Right in front of me. He was meant to be my guest. Asshole.”

                Slider laughs, slaps Jake on the shoulder with a wide grin.

                “You’re going to fit right in kid!”

…            …            …

                Logistics are absolutely hell, some of them staying in San Diego, others on base. Bradley has interviews and other work commitments, has sent picture of his hotel room and Jake cannot believe his life right now, but he definitely isn’t complaining. Bradley however is, whining about how big and empty the bed feels without Jake there and he’s grateful now that Bradley had said he’ll just complain about everything when it’s simply a fact of life. He sends him a quick message, tells him he’ll see him soon and turns to Javy, Bob and Natasha.

                “We’re meeting him there at ten, he’s got some work commitments tying him up but has most of today free.”

                “I need coffee.”

                “You… I just gave you a travel mug of coffee.”

                “I finished it already. It’s too fucking early.”

                Jake rolls his eyes and exchanges a look with Javy

                They settle into the sedan the Maverick has borrowed from Bradley, and he doesn’t miss both Bob and Javy giving it an appreciative once over. Jake has never been into cars, but he suspects Ron has particular tastes and safety considerations when it comes to cars and getting Bradley around safely.

                “Come on, seat belts on…” Maverick mutters and Jake snickers.

                “You trying to convince us to follow rules there Maverick?” Jake asks with a grin, tipping his cowboy hat back to take in the bright orange flight suit that Maverick is wearing. He obviously looks comfortable, used to wearing such a thing for work and it shows.

                “Safety measures are different from rules…”

                “From the guy who has multiple citations for not wearing a helmet while driving his bike on base?”

                “Eh…” Maverick says, shrugging his shoulders and Jake just shakes his head.

                “Mav, your costume looks great. Like the real deal.”

                “Mmm. It’s one of my favorites. My godson bought it for me on the advice of my husband.”

                Bob is dressed as Buzz Lightyear and Jake wishes he’d known, could have maybe changed his own cowboy costume to be Woody from Toy Story instead. Natasha makes an excellent Wonder Woman, and Jake knows it’s a costume she’s had a few years, the one she brings out for Halloween and it a point of pride for her. Javy is a surprise, clearly having spent a chunk of time making props to go with his ghost busters uniform. Along with Bob’s wings, Javy’s proton pack have gone in the trunk.

                He doesn’t know what Bradley is dressing as, had asked and been told it was a surprise. Bradley’s smile had been a little shy so Jake had let it drop, more than happy to be surprised but also hopes Bradley isn’t planning on a full-face prosthetic that makes him look like an alien. This wouldn’t usually be a concern for him, but his boyfriend has resources at his disposal and likely isn’t afraid of using them. They’re all chatting and talking, the group chat is filling with pictures and messages of envy from the ones who can’t make it.

                Then Maverick is driving the car into an area with security, handing over a card and Jake has to bite his lip at Bob and Natasha’s surprise, but ducks his head when Javy simply shakes his head in disbelief.

                “Come on, they’re waiting for us.”

                He’s glad they picked a place to meet, the press and sheer number of people dressed up making it impossible to recognize anyone. Maverick fortunately seems to know exactly who to head towards though and he’s a little horrified at the gigantic rat man that Maverick is grinning at and holy shit, it’s Ron, and beside him is Bradley. Jake’s heart stutters in his chest, because of course Bradley has found a costume which hides most of his face, ties in the moustache he knows makes Jake’s knees weak and he’s in all black with a sword at his waist.

                “Hey…” Bradley greets with a grin and Jake doesn’t hesitate in stepping forward and kissing him. “You look good.”

                “I am good… You, however, look great.”

                Behind him he hears Javy cough and he gives him the finger without even turning around, feels someone slap at his arm and he grins at Bradley again.

                “You going to introduce us?”

                “If I have to…”

                “Hangman! Phoenix”

                “And here are the others…”

                Then five others are joining them, Harvard and Fritz are both easily recognizable because they’re simple in jeans and shirts, however Fanboy, Payback and Yale are all in full-out head-to-toe costumes and he’s more than impressed. He can’t actually tell them apart, but there is a Stormtrooper, something that reminds him of either Pacific Rim or Transformers, and then an alien with the face prosthetic he’d worried Bradley might be wearing.

                “Sorry we’re late…”

                And now Callie and Neil are there too and they’re a big group, people are definitely taking photos, but Jake is pretty sure it’s the giant rat that’s drawing all the attention. Callie is wearing a flowing dress, Neil is dressed very similarly to Bradley, although he’s wearing a wig with black curls and he realizes that they’re doing a group costume. Damn. He could have gotten in on that.

                “Everyone, this lovely rodent here is my husband Rat, I mean, Ron. And my godson Bradley. His housemates Callie and Neil… you want names or callsigns?” Maverick asks them, and before any of them can answer he’s off, using both. Jake has no idea how Maverick knows that Fanboy is the Stormtrooper, Yale the robot and Payback the multi-eyed alien but the man continues to amaze him.

��               “He has housemates? Jesus Bagman, have a little decency… pretty sure they don’t want you living with them.”

                “Hey, he invited me!” Jake says, and Callie and Neil are laughing.

                “Anyone who can drag Bradley out of his sulky moods is worth keeping around. Nice to meet you,” Neil says, and he’s reaching for Natasha’s hand and then laying a kiss on it in proper Inigo Montoya style. Huh. He’s never seen Trace blush before.

                “So, are you… Zorro?” Bob asks and Jake turns sharply, because surely Bob realizes who they’re meant to be. They watched this movie recently.

                “Close. But no. Wesley. Just a poor farm boy…”

                “I’m Princess Buttercup. From Princess Bride?”

                “I… I don’t think I’m familiar with it,” Bob is saying, and Jake knows that’s an outright lie, he’s about to call him out on it when he sees Callie looping her arm into the crook of Bob’s elbow and holy shit, Jake realizes Bob’s play just fucking worked.

                “Really? Well, we’ll have to remedy that. It’s a classic you know…” Callie says, and Bob’s smiling at her attentively. Wow. At least he doesn’t have to worry about them getting on. Maybe he has to worry about them getting on too well.

                “You didn’t want Jake to dress as Princess Buttercup?” Natasha asks Bradley, who snorts.

                “Jake can dress however he likes. We can talk about a couple costume for next year.”

                “You come every year?”

                “Yep. Pretty much.”

                Javy looks like he’s about to have a heart attack but Jake elbows him and it seems to have some sort of an effect at calming him down.

…            …            …

                It’s more fun than Bradley has had at Comic Con in years, and he knows being in such a large group helps, his costume in no way the flashiest or most impressive. Clearly some of Jake’s friends are really into cosplay, there are people waiting to ask them if they can take photos with them, and he lets it happen, happy to chat with people who don’t have any idea of who he is. Except for Javy, who keeps eyeing him like he doesn’t trust him, and he knows he’s going to have to deal with earning his trust at least.

                They have a few hours to kill before lunch, something he’s let be organized on the advice of Callie and Neil, so that he can take of his mask and reveal himself to Jake’s friends without an audience. So they wander around, chatting and taking photos and he sees a few people he would otherwise go over and talk with, but not while he’s here incognito. He let’s himself hold Jake’s hand, realizes that this is their first date in public and it feels easy and good. He fairly certain he’d be feeling the same even if everyone could easily identify him.

                Before Fanboy and Payback disappear to one of the panels he exchanges numbers with them, sends them instructions for lunch, does the same with the others. Watches as Callie is charmed by Bob, while Natasha and Neil seem ready to either fuck or wrestle. Or both. He’s already exchanged looks with Jake about it and got an eyeroll, a muttered we have a very small social circle, your friends are new meat in his ear which had made him laugh out loud.

                Lunch is arranged for one, a selection of sandwiches and cold cuts much like a kraft table on set, where people can just come and go, grab what they want and need during busy days of shooting. Nearly everyone is here and Ron has two guys working, but the sheer number of security people working had meant that their presence hasn’t even been noticed. The doors close and the space is quiet and air conditioned and Jake is grinning at him, pushing close and kissing him, filthy and deep.

                “Get a fucking room!” Natasha objects, and Jake is rubbing the back of his head and there is a bread roll on the ground.

                “I have a room…” Bradley says with a grin and Jake snorts, his fingers are on the edge of his mask, question in his expression and Bradley smiles, nods his head, prepares himself for the shock and surprise about to happen and Jake tugs the mask up and off and he’s murmuring there you are under his breath, giving him a soft kiss and then stepping out of the way and bending down to scoop the offending bread roll off the floor.

                “Has anyone ever told you that you look exactly like Bradley… oh fuck. You’re…”

                “Holy shit.”

                “You’re Bradley Bradshaw.”

                “Yeah. Hi.”

                “What the fuck Hangman, you couldn’t have warned us?”

                “Would you have believed me?”

                “Jake didn’t believe me…” Bradley offers, and that has heads swinging back in his general direction and Jake is elbowing him, glaring at him playfully and Bradley knows his face is going to hurt from smiling so much.

                “Wait, what?”

                “Oh… you’re going to like this story,” Neil says to Natasha and Bradley groans, because he has the worst friends.

                Except they’re actually the best.

EPILOGUE

                “What’s your costume this year?”

                “Mmm. Not really a costume, more of a persona.”

                “Yeah. What’s that?”

                “Bradley Bradshaw’s fiancé.”

[isbreulla]

Any head canons you're willing to share about Sarah, Snape, and co? I'm invested.

Here are some headcanons for you...

Once Anya gives birth to Sarah and dies during childbirth in Azkaban, the Ministry of Magic considers leaving the child with the Dolohov family but first tries to find out who the child's father is. Severus Snape is confirmed as Sarah's father and gains custody of her.

After Snape is confirmed as Sarah's biological father, the Ministry spends a few months trying everything they can to take custody of Sarah away from Snape, believing that he could be a danger to the child due to his past as a Death Eater.

At this moment, Snape fears losing his daughter to the Ministry, but at the same time he questions whether he will be the father she deserves.

With Dumbledore's help, Snape manages to keep custody of his daughter.

From now on, Snape will do everything to protect Sarah and to prove to the Ministry that he is a good father, and would never be a risk to his daughter. Thus, he becomes very overprotective.

Snape had no idea how to raise a child, so he did what he did best, he studied. He read every book on parenting he could find and became a master at being a father.

Snape never liked children in general, Sarah was his only exception. He would do anything for her. Within limits, he didn't want to raise a spoiled brat.

When Sarah was a toddler Snape would take her to play in a park near Spinner's End, but he would keep her close at all times. If any stupid child bothered her, he would scare them away.

Snape does not use corporal punishment. He does not want to be like his father in any way. His method of discipline is time-out… Sometimes a pinch or a tug on the ear every now and then, nothing serious.

As Sarah grows up, Snape becomes increasingly anxious and stressed.

Snape expects academic excellence from Sarah, and always guides her towards the path he believes is right.

Aside from his past as a Death Eater and Sarah's mother, Snape is very honest with Sarah, he tries to tell her the truth about the world, they talk a lot about lots of different subjects.

Snape may be seen as a conservative father to many people, but the truth is that he only wants the best for his daughter, and he honestly does everything to see her happy.

When Sarah comes out to him, Snape is not surprised. But he makes sure she knows she is loved and that he will support and protect her always.

Sarah's coping mechanism is to write her frustrations in her diary.

Sarah hates most of the people in her house at Hogwarts, but most specifically Pansy Parkinson. The girl is a living hell.

Sarah is a sassy girl, even to her father. But she tries to control herself around other people, because she doesn't want them to take him less seriously because of her.

Sarah knows better than to argue with her father when it comes to his rules. But that doesn't mean she'll accept them without complaint.

The main reason why Sarah is always arguing with her father is because she doesn't know anything about her mother, but also because Snape tends to keep her in a bubble at all times.

Sarah is the affectionate one of the family. She loves to hug her father all the time (when no one is looking of course).

When she was younger, Sarah liked to paint her father's nails.

Sarah lived at Hogwarts before becoming an official student, but the rule was that she couldn't leave her father's quarters without him… A rule she broke countless times.

Sarah loves toads, but Snape is disgusted by them so she could never have one. One time Sarah sneaked a toad home to test a potion on it, and the toad ended up multiplying… She was in trouble.

Ron Weasley doesn't really like Sarah because he thinks she's too much like her father. Sarah thinks he's a bit of an idiot.

Hermione also doesn't like Sarah at first, because she doesn't believe she can be trusted. But little by little they become friends.

Sarah knows that Snape has to protect Harry, and this makes her slightly jealous. She doesn't like the boy very much at first, but she always tries to help him as much as she can.

… and that's enough for today folks!

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I feel like I owe Kim Possible a minor apology. In a recent post, I used Kim and Ron's romance as an example of how the love square should have been written. I've also talked about how Ron's the perfect example of a male comedy sidekick who is more than just a comedy sidekick because he's treated as Kim's perfect partner. I've probably mentioned Kim Possible other times, too, because it's such a good match for what Miraculous is trying to do.

Because I keep singing Kim Possible's praises I decided that I should rewatch the show to make sure that my nostalgia goggles weren't blinding me to some major flaw. So far, they weren't. If anything, I've been underselling the show. This is where we get to that apology I mentioned at the start.

Prior to this rewatch, I would have told you that Ron's importance wasn't really discussed until the later seasons because the first season of a formulaic kids show is almost always a testing grounds to see what works, so things can be a little rough. Plus Ron's importance isn't exactly something that you need to dive into early on when you've got a two person team. No one is questioning Ron's importance right out of the gate. He's there to be the comedy sidekick. No explanation needed.

Imagine my surprise when the plot of episode six is all about Kim and Ron getting into a fight about Ron excelling at their part time job while Kim kinda sucks, leading to Kim going to fight alone while Ron keeps working. Kim fails, Ron gets a call that she's in trouble, and:

Wade: Not important. Kim's in trouble. She found Drakken at inside giant Cheese Wheel but I lost contact. She needs help. Your help. Ned: Well, well, well. Looks like you've got a choice to make, Stoppable! What's more important? Your sacred duty as assistant manager or your role as goofy sidekick? Ron: Well, that's no choice at all. I guess it's time to say buenos noches, Bueno Nacho.

Dude doesn't even hesitate. Doesn't matter if they're fighting or if he's feeling underappreciated, Kim needs his help? He's there. Their fight can wait until after Kim is safe. This is why I love Ron. Total dork, but you can't ask for a better partner.

Ron's rescue attempt initially goes south, but instead of getting mad, we get this genuinely sweet moment:

Ron: Guess that wasn't much of a plan. Kim: Not as great as your Bueno Nacho bathroom-break chart. Ron: I gooned on assistant-manager power. You were right. Kim: I did resent your superior burrito technique. You're entitled to excel. Forgive me? Ron: Duh! Forgive me? Kim: Totally.

Boy do I love these two! Their friendship was so genuine right from the start. This whole episode is just oozing how much they care for each other, it's great!

After this moment, they save the day with Ron playing a big part in Kim's plan because right from season one, season one, the writers understood that Kim could never be shown to win when Ron wasn't around.

As you may have guessed from the cheese wheel line, the plot of this episode is pretty absurd even for Kim Possible. That's been the case for all of the early episodes, but I think that the plots are going to improve as the seasons go on because I remember the later seasons having much stronger plots. We'll see if that proves true. Even if the plots stay kinda weak, I've still gotta give full credit to the writers for their early character work. They really understood Kim and Ron's relationship right from the start, didn't they? And in a show like this, that's the most important element to get right.

Don't worry, I'm not going to flood your dash with Kim Possible love, I just had to take a moment to appreciate how good the character work was here. They really did want Ron to feel like more than Kim's goofy sidekick and they pulled it off while sticking to the show's absurd writing and formulaic structure. As Miraculous has shown, that isn't something that just naturally happens. It takes effort, so I had to take a moment to gush because I don't get to gush about good character work often while running this blog. I hope this also makes it clear that, when it comes to writing, I'm not looking for perfection. I'm just looking for a good time. So far, that's what this rewatch is giving me.

[mariacallous]

Tomorrow is Election Day, the last day of voting in this tumultuous 2024 campaign. What a long, strange trip it's been. Just a year ago, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis was challenging former president Trump for the GOP nomination by saying the word "woke" at least a hundred times a day while former South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley competed for what's left of the "normie" Republican vote. A clown car full of grifters and kooks, meanwhile, used the primaries as an opportunity to suck up to Trump, whom everyone knew would inevitably be the nominee. After all, he'd been running non-stop since 2015.

Meanwhile on the Democratic side, incumbent president Joe Biden was an unchallenged shoo-in for the Democratic nomination. Most people felt he'd probably be able to replicate his 2020 win despite being unpopular due to a lingering hangover from the pandemic. After all, Trump had incited an insurrection and was facing lawsuits and felony trials in federal court and two different states stemming from a variety of alleged crimes. Surely, he couldn't possibly win after all that?

In the year since, Biden was revealed to be just too old to run for president again and was replaced by his younger vice president, Kamala Harris, who sparked a massive rise in enthusiasm among Democrats. Trump, meanwhile, has shown that his millions-strong cult of personality is fully intact and they are ecstatic about putting him back in the White House in spite of his many flaws (maybe even because of them.) We could find out the winner as soon as tomorrow night — or maybe not.

If it's as close as many of the pollsters say it is it could take a while before we know the final results. And it goes without saying that unless they call the race for him right away, Trump is planning to cry "fraud" and will do everything in his power to create the illusion that he won regardless of the count. So we can expect chaos. He's made that very clear.

The polls have more or less shown a tied race nationally and in the swing states for the past couple of months. Whether that's correct or not, we don't know. Because they missed some Trump voters in 2016 and 2020, everyone is on edge that the same thing has happened again despite the pollsters' going out of their way to correct the problem this time. With the polls this close that error could translate to a repeat of 2016 which has a whole lot of people losing sleep these last few weeks.

But something unexpected happened this past weekend that may have called those assumptions into question. The Des Moines Register poll, considered one of the best in all of politics due to pollster J. Ann Selzer's excellent track record, dropped its final poll of the cycle and it landed like a nuclear bomb. Iowa is a solid red state and the previous poll had Trump winning the state handily as expected. Now the numbers showed Harris beating Trump 47 - 44. Boom.

Iowa is one of the whitest states in the union, so race isn't a factor which makes it an interesting proxy for white voters in other swing states with similar populations (like Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania, for instance.) While Trump has maintained his base of men, evangelical voters, rural residents and non-college-educated voters, the poll found that women, specifically older and politically independent women, have swung in large numbers to Harris. And just as surprising, Harris is winning voters over 65, which has been a GOP base vote for decades. What in the world does this mean?

First, it's pretty clear that reproductive rights are driving this race for a whole lot of people. Iowa, in particular, is now living under a draconian six-week abortion ban��that was upheld by its far-right Supreme Court last summer. Justice Samuel Alito wrote in his notorious opinion that "women are not without electoral or political power." It appears we may be about to find out the truth of that.

People expected that younger women would vote in large numbers on this issue but there seems to be some surprise that older women would be motivated to do so. Ohio Senate candidate Bernie Moreno was caught on video bemoaning the "single issue" women voters and wondering why women over 50 would care about it.

I guess it's hard for right-wingers to understand why anyone would care about someone other than themselves. But it's more than that. The reversal of Roe v. Wade was deeply offensive to many women of all ages, something we could only see as a direct attack on our basic human rights by a group of men (and one very conservative woman) determined to turn back the clock to a time when women were literally second class citizens. Women can see where this is leading and it isn't toward freedom and equality — for any of us.

The Republican Party and its leader, a predator found legally liable for sexual assault, is running for election on a platform of flagrant misogyny. Donald Trump literally said, 'I was able to kill Roe v. Wade' until he belatedly realized it wasn't popular, at which point he came up with his fatuous rationale that "everyone wanted it to go back to the states." That is utterly absurd and most people know it. He's lately taken to saying that he'll be women's "protector" which, coming from him, is more of a threat. In fact, in recent days he's said that he'll  do it "whether the women like it or not."

Then you have his choice for running mate, JD Vance, who thinks that women should stay in abusive marriages, thinks abortion should be banned nationally even in cases of rape and incest and wants to prevent women from traveling out of state to obtain them (he now denies knowing about such efforts). And he famously believes that "childless cat ladies" are the cause of everything wrong in our culture and agrees that "the whole purpose of the post-menopausal female is child care."

And people are surprised that women of all ages are refusing to vote for these people?

This Iowa poll may be an outlier and all the chatter about this remarkable result will end up being nothing more than election year lore. Most analysts still seem to think that it's nearly impossible to believe that Harris will actually win Iowa. But this poll is one of the very few that caught the hidden angry non-college-educated Trump vote in 2016 and 2020. There is every reason to believe that it may be catching the hidden pissed-off college-educated and independent women Harris vote in 2024. Nothing would be more satisfying than for this voting block to be the one to spell the end of Donald Trump's political career. 

[satansapostle6]

Everything But Time | Fred Weasley

Fred Weasley never thought he’d fall for a Slytherin girl. Nathalie Adams never thought she’d fall for the class clown.

Warning: Mature themes/language. Violence. Sexual content.

Chapter One: Wrapped Around Her Finger

She was everything. The way she walked, and the way she talked, and the way her hair fell effortlessly over her shoulders was something of a marvel. Only, Fred Weasley didn’t think so, or so he said.

Fred Weasley was a proud Gryffindor; he never in a million years would have betrayed the honor of his House by consorting with a rival Slytherin. It was just out of the question. No matter what all the other boys in his year said, and no matter how short her skirts got, he remained vigilant and kept his unspoken promise to himself never to give her the time of day, even if he had no reason to suspect Nathalie Adams even wanted it.

“Look at her,” Fred’s younger sister, Ginny Weasley, said almost spitefully at dinner one night early on in his sixth year. “You can’t even tell her apart from one of the Beauxbatons girls. With her shiny hair, and perfect nails, and rosy cheeks…”

Everyone sitting with them at the Gryffindor table gave her a strange look as she blushed aggressively and redirected her focus to her plate in silence.

“She is quite the vision,” George Weasley, Fred’s twin, remarked dreamily. “Isn’t she, Ronniekins?”

Ron Weasley, who was a year older than Ginny, also grew a bright shade of pink, scowling at his brother.

“Why are you asking me?” he muttered defensively.

“Because you’re the one who drooled into your soup staring at her,” Fred replied, completely matter-of-fact.

“I did not!”

“Did too,” Harry Potter checked him.

“What about you, Harry?” Fred cocked his head at Ron’s best friend. “What are your thoughts on the topic of Nathalie Adams?” he said her name with a mocking lilt to it.

“I… hardly know her,” Harry responded reasonably.

Ginny just rolled her eyes at his innocence.

“Whether you know her isn’t the question, it’s whether you’d like to,” George explained with a mischievous grin.

“You boys are gross,” Ginny said disapprovingly.

“So gross,” Hermione Granger, Ron and Harry’s other respective best friend, agreed.

“Well…”

Harry thought for a minute.

“She’s two grades above us,” he concluded.

“Cho’s one grade above us,” Ron teased him.

Once again, Ginny rolled her eyes at the mention of Cho Chang, the girl Harry was too afraid to openly ask out.

“It’s alright, you know, Harry,” Fred told him wisely, “Liking older women. They’re usually more experienced, and that’s never a bad thing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Hermione shook her head, mortified as Ginny looked at the two of them sharply. “You know, people are trying to eat here?”

“Trust me, so am I,” Fred quipped, earning a clap on the back from George and laughs from Harry and Ron, as well as Lee Jordan.

“So, Harry,” Ron wondered. “What are your thoughts on the blonde Slytherin?”

“Erm…”

He tried to collect his thoughts as he glanced over at the Slytherin table, searching for Nathalie Adams. He eventually found her, sitting with her friends not too far from Pansy Parkinson and the other popular Slytherin girls in their year at Hogwarts. He definitely saw her appeal; she had long whitish hair, and porcelain skin that might as well have been made of clouds, and not to mention, she was tall and graceful. She truly did look just like one of the French girls from Beauxbatons.

“She’s… nice,” Harry tried to compliment her chivalrously, knowing that Ginny Weasley was listening expectantly.

“Nice, indeed,” George agreed, much to his twin’s disappointment. “She could slap me across the face, and I’d thank her.”

“I think that’s just a ‘you’ problem, Georgie,” Lee stated, earning hearty laughs from the group.

*****

Nathalie Addams had everything a sixteen year-old girl could want; she came from a reputable family and maintained excellent grades. She was beautiful, and it certainly did not go unnoticed. To the Slytherin boys, she was the epitome of beauty, and class. Draco Malfoy, for one, had made plenty of jokes to his fellow Slytherin boys about telling his father that he wanted her for his birthday.

As a sixth-year, Nathalie Adams had become easily one of the most talked-about girls at Hogwarts, even amongst the other Houses. Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, even Gryffindor. It didn’t matter; they all believed her to be the standard.

Equally popular among Hogwarts students was a seventh-year Hufflepuff, Cedric Diggory, Hogwarts’ resident pretty boy. Cedric was very much a Hufflepuff; although he had his talents, he was most easily recognized for his good looks and his excellent performance as Seeker on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team.

He was quite popular amongst the boys and girls alike, and although he could have chosen just about any of the girls at Hogwarts, which wasn’t really an understatement, he didn’t find himself particularly in the mood to play the field in his last year at Hogwarts. Cedric Diggory was much more the kind of person to seek out one girl in particular, and in the first few weeks of his seventh year, he was beginning to feel that Nathalie Adams could very well be that girl.

Of course, he had never spoken to her before. He had never actually met Nathalie Adams, and only knew her from watching long successions of people in the halls. He hadn’t even known her name until he had asked a friend of his the year before. From then on, Cedric was determined to speak to her, and get to know her. Cedric Diggory was a very driven young man, the kind of person who knew where he saw himself in five, ten, fifteen years.

Fifteen or so years in the future, Cedric saw himself comfortable and successful with a stable career, and having at least one child to love and nurture. And in this dream of his, he could see the mother of that child being Nathalie Adams.

“Are you going to talk to her, mate?” William Albert snapped him out of his trance as they completed their Transfiguration worksheets.

“Yeah, soon,” Cedric said in a hushed voice, mortified as he looked around them to make sure no one had heard.

In the past half hour, he had only written his name and the answers to two questions on his piece of parchment; he was too distracted by Nathalie and her long blonde hair on the other side of the aisle.

“Well, you’d better get on with it, then” his friend advised him. “Before Weasley beats you to it.”

Cedric looked across the room in a panic. Sure enough, there was his friend Fred Weasley, talking to Nathalie as he sat behind her. He muttered a curse under his breath, unable to hear or make out what they were saying.

“Can you stop?” Nathalie stared back at the long-haired Weasley twins. “You’re getting my parchment wet.”

Due to the disruption that the three of them had been causing, Professor McGonall had sat Lee Jordan in front of Nathalie, separating him from the twins. Naturally, this did not stop the twins from firing the Water-Making spell at him every time the professor’s back was turned. And naturally, their aim was a bit hit or miss.

“My apologies,” Fred Weasley said smoothly, offering a cocky smile as his eyes started to wander. “Perhaps I could make it up to you?”

“You could make it up to me by shutting the fuck up,” she stared angrily.

“That’s not very nice,” Fred pouted, turning to his brother. “Was it, George?”

“Indeed, it wasn’t,” George Weasley instigated.

“And why would I be worried about being nice to you?” she raised an eyebrow.

“I could make it worth your while,” Fred said softly, his flirting obscenely obvious.

“In your dreams, Weasley.”

“Oh, if only you knew,” he whispered with a playful smile.

Nathalie just rolled her eyes, turning back around in her seat as the twins just grinned at one another. Nathalie’s unmatched looks put her at the very top of the social hierarchy, and she knew how to take advantage of it. Everyone wanted her, whether it was as a friend, or more. Speaking to her was a privilege in high demand, and she knew not to oversaturate the market.

Even Cedric Diggory, who was one of the few boys at school who was actually in her league, was reduced to a hopeful nobody when it came to her.

“Ced. You need to ask Nathalie out before someone beats you to it,” William urged his best friend as they walked through the halls, approaching the courtyard where Nathalie and her friends were.

“I’m sure three people have already asked her out since class ended,” Cedric remarked.

“Before she says yes to someone,” William corrected himself.

“Well, what do you suggest I say to her, then?” Cedric questioned.

“I don’t know,” William admitted. “Just walk up to her, and ask her out.”

“Oh, is that all?”

Cedric’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“You’re a Triwizard Champion,” William rationalized, “There’s no way she’ll say no.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Cedric sighted.

“To a Slytherin girl?” William pointed out. “Yes, it does.”

“I don’t know, Will. She seems hard to talk to.”

“Isn’t that a challenge you’re willing to take on?” William asked.

Cedric sighed, just standing at the edge of the courtyard as the other two girls sitting by Nathalie got up to leave, leaving her alone on the bench. She seemed perfectly content, pulling a book out of her bag. One of the first things Cedric had ever noticed about her was that she actually liked to read.

“Look; she’s alone,” William pointed out. “Now’s your chance.”

“I don’t know,” Cedric murmured, “Are you sure I won’t make her uncomfortable?”

“Go,” William urged him, emphasizing his point by giving him a little shove.

Cedric looked back at him, embarrassed as he slowly walked toward the center the courtyard. Nathalie certainly looked beautiful as she read her book in peace, closed off to the world. She was beautiful, but also quite intimidating. Cedric very slowly and timidly approached her, lightly clearing his throat before announcing himself.

“Hi,” he said, as she slowly looked up.

She seemed indifferent in her reaction, marking her page in the book with her finger as she spoke.

“Hey,” she said, not sure as to what he wanted.

“I’m Cedric,” he introduced himself, politely offering his hand.

Nathalie glanced down at his hand with a smirk, looking back up at him knowingly. She accepted his hand, and he gave hers a gentle shake.

“Hi, Cedric,” she remarked.

“You’re Nathalie, right?” he asked her.

She nodded, a stoic expression on her face as she insisted upon maintaining an advantageous status over him. “That’s right.”

“How are you, Nathalie?” Cedric Diggory asked chivalrously.

“Well,” she replied.

Cedric felt himself getting hot. Making small talk was becoming increasingly difficult.

“We have Transfiguration together, right?” Nathalie recalled.

He was relieved to hear that she was at least aware of his existence.

“And Potions, and History of Magic,” Cedric nodded with a charming smile.

Nathalie’s mouth curled into a smirk that she, for the most part, hid. His attempt at making conversation with her was adorable. Nathalie had to admit, Cedric Diggory was probably the best-looking boy at Hogwarts by far, with his auburn curls, and rosy cheeks. Not to mention, he towered over her, which not many boys could do as she was rather tall for a girl.

“Yeah…” she remembered, beginning to see an angle. “You’ve got pretty good marks in History of Magic, right?” she asked him, slyly running her fingers through her blonde hair.

Cedric had to clear his throat as he forced himself not to be distracted by her perfect waves, which framed her pale, heart-shaped face in the most beautiful way.

“Erm, yeah, yeah, I got an O last term,” he confirmed, reminding himself to appear confident.

Nathalie smiled, her demeanor gradually softening as she crossed her feet in front of her, tilting her head playfully as she spoke to him.

“You know, I can never understand a thing that Professor Binns says. He’s so dull, and lifeless. He’s practically asleep half the time he talks,” she commented.

“Yeah, he’s so boring,” Cedric agreed immediately, chuckling as he realized he might actually stand a chance here.

“Say, Cedric,” Nathalie looked up at him with the most enticing feigned and exaggerated doe eyes, “Would you like to get together and study some time?”

Cedric nearly gasped, shocked that it was this easy.

“Yeah! Yeah, I would,” he nodded. “I’d like that.”

Nathalie nodded appreciatively. “Yeah, it’s just… We have that essay coming up, and I hardly know what to write.”

“Well, we could definitely figure something out,” he promised her, his kind brown eyes locked onto her hazel ones.

Her eyes had this strange magnetic quality to him, as if they were two chasms of greens and browns, sucking him in and consuming him. Nathalie’s beauty was unlike anything he’d ever seen. The most comparable thing to it that he’d seen in nature was probably the Black Lake, bottomless and dangerous.

“Sounds good,” Nathalie beamed, allowing him to believe that he knew the game they were playing. “When are you free next?”

“How about tomorrow afternoon? After classes,” Cedric suggested.

“Works for me,” she said softly. “The library?”

“Yes,” he answered, glad they had come to an arrangement.

Nathalie knew she had Cedric wrapped around her finger. He watched as she walked away, unable to ignore the elegant figure she cut beneath her school uniform. The green and silver would look good alongside his yellow and black, he thought. Cedric’s thoughts were eventually interrupted by the curiosity of his casual friends, the Weasley twins.

“Was that Nathalie Adams you were talking to?” Fred inquired.

George looked over at him knowingly, fully aware that he already knew this.

“Yeah,” Cedric responded with a delighted smile. “We have a study date in the library tomorrow.”

“Study date, you say?” George echoed, glancing at his brother.

“Well. We’re meeting to study,” Cedric said nonchalantly.

“Good luck with that, mate,” Fred offered, which was naturally met with confusion.

Cedric frowned. “What makes you say that?”

“I dunno,” Fred replied coolly. “Just… Nathalie’s a slippery one. Tricky little minx, she is.”

“She seemed perfectly nice to me,” Cedric shrugged.

“Because that’s what she wanted,” Fred told him, fully intending to instigate. “She’s a smart one. Likes to play games; takes a special kind of bloke to keep up with a girl like that,” Fred stated, hinting to him.

“You think?” Cedric asked him.

This thought hadn’t necessarily crossed his mind yet.

“Just be careful with her, is all,” George Weasley advised him. “It’s like handling a snake; you don’t know if it’s poisonous, but even if it’s not you could still lose a finger.”

“Might be best to leave this one to someone a bit more experienced,” Fred offered with a shrug, giving him a supportive pat on the back before the twins disappeared, leaving Cedric alone with his thoughts.

-

Chapter Two

[joannerowling]

last anon I meant “not care” not “now care” 😆

Ahhh ok! So, "do i think it's OOC for Harry to NOT care about elves and SPEW"

Well, no! It can't be "OOC" because it's his character as he was written by JKR, the author.

If you want a more detailed answer, well, i think Harry does care about House Elves. That's the entire point of Dobby.

Does he care in a political sense, the way Hermione does, and does he care about SPEW (Hermione's very first attempt at activism)? No. This is due both to his age (he's 14 when Hermione creates SPEW), and to his personality. Hermione is politically saavy at a very early age, because politics are all about reading between the lines, creative problem-solving, absorbing a ton of knowledge about everything, and being the cleverest in a room (all things she excels at). Harry is not like that. Harry is more at ease in a direct fight than in an indirect one. Harry's very sensitive to visible, immediate suffering and is going to act fast to stop it. Hermione is more likely to analyse the situation first, maybe over-analyse it if stressed (and Ron has the most balanced approach, he needs more focus than Hermione to be analytical and he's less naturally dexterious than Harry but he's pretty good at both). On the other hand, things like systemic oppression and brainwashing are going to appear less urgent to solve for Harry unless they're very obvious (like Dobby's). Hermione will be more sensitive to that because she'll have an easier time recognising the patterns ("ok, the House Elves *say* they're happy to serve the wizards, but that's because they're used to it from centuries ago").

It's worth noting that both Harry and Hermione get a little better about their blind spots over time (especially after OotP). Hermione in DH is more socially apt and emotionally open, less judgemental, and talks to Kreatur as an individual, relating to him; while Harry is more prudent and calculating (in a good way) and starts questionning his own assumptions and developping empathy or criticism for people he thought of before as either all-good or all-bad (like Snape, Sirius or Dumbledore).

[sitp-recs]

Top five ways in which drarry get together in a fic

Yasss this is what we deserve!!!!! I have so much more than 5 but right now I thought of these, in no particular order:

1. Following kinky courting by @bixgirl1:

“Have you decided, then?” Harry asks, getting to the real question. “About me?”

“Potter, I decided I would sub for you before I knew what the bloody fuck it was,” Draco says with a loud exhale. Harry’s startled by the honesty, by the sheer longing in Draco’s tone, and yet somehow… not.

2. Casually bonding over trauma (and comfort sex 🌝) by @lazywonderlvnd:

"I just told you, it's something to do," said Malfoy. "Something mindless to do. Been sort of a weird night, hasn’t it? I don't think it can get much weirder."

3. Comparing dick sizes by astolat:

“No one asked you to look, did they? I don’t mind, Potter. You can give it a pull, too, if you want to know what a big one feels like.”

4. Just two bros chillin at the Leaky loo by @lqtraintracks:

"Nice shoes," he said. Then he looked at Draco's face. "Fancy a fuck?" Draco couldn't prevent the warm chuckle. "Muggle Prada does it for you, Potter?"

5. Kissing your crush to the same song your dad kissed his crush to by @writcraft

Perhaps they’ve both been caught unawares, by the unexpected, desperate force of attraction that has crackled and sparked between them from the moment Harry walked into that little café on another rainy day in London. “It’s the song from Black’s diary.” Draco brushes his fingers against Harry’s jumper, which is just as soft and warm as it looks. “An excellent choice.”

Bonus: through with Ron by @sweet-s0rr0w :

“I wanted you, Draco,” Harry whispers, and the words are slow, like unwrapping a gift. “I want you now, too.”

“And Ron?” Draco asks, still hesitating, as though Ron hadn’t orchestrated this entire thing. Ron pulls off then, a wicked expression on his face as he looks between the two of them.

[big19boss-blog]

Cale Cooking!

So, this a canon I have always imagined. It’s mentioned in the TCF that Cale knows how to cook Korean food from his Kim Rok Soo days. But I imagine Cale to be an excellent cook because he always undermines himself. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s not always that Beacrox is ill but even he fell ill after the strenuous fighting season was over. The children wished to cook something for him and were creating a mess in the kitchen, so Cale decided to shoo them out and take over the cooking while Rosalyn and CH cleans the mess and Ron runs an errand in the village. 

So, Cale decides to take matters into his own hands. 

Cale: Enough! All children out of the kitchen, now.

Roan: Human NOOOOOO!

Hong: Yess we want to cook Beacrox Uncle!!!

On: We would really love to give him something homemade.

Cale sighs. 

Cale: Okay I will cook, and you all will help when I tell you too.

Cale got to work, he thought that a quick soup with some fresh bread and some hot coco would be enough. So he got to work, he kneaded the bread out of the left-over flour. He asked Roan and Hong to slowly control the heat around the melting chocolate, Choi Han to cut the vegetables and meat, Rosalyn to pre heat the oven with magic and On to get run to the underground house and bring some spice they got from the east. 

Over the course of the next 1 hour he collected all the food in enough quantities to fulfill the small town they house at here at the Black Castle. The loaves were baking, soup was simmering, the hot coco was being filled in glasses for everyone's easy access. 

Eventually he prepared one plate with all the food and told the children to give it to Beacrox. 

Roan: You are not coming with us Human?

Cale: No, I don’t want to get catch whatever bug he has.

He then turned and left the kitchen. But everyone knew that despite that rude response how carefully he has made each item. 

When Ron tasted the food, he knew instantly it wasn’t someone who has cooked for the first time. But the food was so healing, the rich but light taste of soup, the airy and slightly sour bread and the subtly sweet hot coco, that he didn’t question it much. He never knew his tiger young master could cook so well. 

But the fact brings him peace that when he is gone and someone forgets to feed his Young Master, he can cook for himself.

The Children enjoyed the food so much that they ran again and again to the kitchen to sneak multiple helpings even late after dinner was over. Choi Han was almost nostalgic for a second remembering the young, malnourished Kim Rok Soo. 

Cale after years of eating just enough actually ate more than necessary for once, enjoying the taste of his own food after years and getting a little lost in olden days. 

[ghost-adventures-imagines]

First lockdown

*requested*

For @mischiefnevermanaged89-blog

Prompts: #14 & #22

Fandom: Ghost Adventures

Pairing: Zak Bagans x reader

~~~

It was your first lockdown with the ghost adventures crew and you’d be lying to have said that you weren’t in any way scared.

Once you reached the St. Anne’s retreat, you had the urge to turn around and go back, but you remained and followed the boys in, wanting to show that you didn’t have any fear in the slightest.

However, when the interviews were wrapped up and night had fallen, that all changed and your nervousness started coming through. You were close losing your composure, and Zak must have picked up on that pretty fast, you suddenly feel his arm drap over your shoulders as he pulled you close. Zak than speaks to you in a tone of voice for only you could hear, and it took you a little by surprise, it was something you wouldn’t think of hearing from Zak.

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay by you the whole lockdown since it’s your first.”

Rather than feeling comforted by his words, you felt more vulnerable than anything else. You don’t know why, you don’t understand why, but you went along with it and everything was running smoothly in the way it was supposed to be until Zak had locked Aaron in another building that sat on part of the property.

Both you and Aaron were freaking out.

“This wasn’t part of the deal!”

You couldn’t understand what Zak had said to that as you got lost in smacking his arm and begging for him to let Aaron out.

“Zak, we can’t just leave him in there by himself! What if something happens to him?!” Zak acted as if he didn’t hear you.

After some convincing, Aaron agreed to stay behind as you and Zak continued making your way around the investigation.

The whole time, you were silently doubting yourself. Thinking of things like, why did Zak choose to become part of the crew, you don’t know. You may seem tough on the outside, but really, you were just as much as a wuss as anyone else. Out of everyone Zak had to choose from, he chose you. Zak saw a lot of great potential in you, and not only that, he had developed feelings for you. Over the short time you’ve been part of the crew, you started growing the same feelings for Zak as well. Somehow, you both know how you felt about each other, but you both remained silent on that. You both unknowingly made it obvious for the rest of the crew, they knew it but stayed silent for obvious reasons.

The two of you were walking to the pool where they say a nun supposedly drowned her baby in years ago, and as you did, the urge to ask the begging question grew. You couldn’t bring yourself to ask it until you were going back for Aaron. It was almost too challenging for you to ask, but you had to do it, you had to know otherwise, it’d drive you crazy. To gain control of your nerves, you begin by keeping it simple, but Zak cuts in before you could say anything. Praising you about how well you were doing on your first lockdown.

“How do you feel now that we’re halfway through your first lockdown?”

“I feel good about it, still a little uncertain about it my investigation skills.”

“I think you’re doing an excellent job, better than anyone I’ve seen handling a lockdown, whether it’s their first or not.”

You couldn’t help but feel slightly shy all of a sudden, but you quickly regained composure and turned the conversation around.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yes, what’s up?”

“Why did you choose me? Out of everyone there, you had chosen me. Why did you choose me?”

At this point, you were back at the building Aaron was locked in earlier.

Unbeknownst to you, while Zak was about to give you an answer, Aaron was Ron the other side of the door, waiting to be let out when he started listening in on your conversation. As you look at Zak, you notice he seemed to be trying to put the right words to say in his head, as he didn’t want to have accidentally confess to you, confess to you yet, at least. You continue to wait patiently for a response, than he gave it to you.

“You know why, (Y/n).”

That was the last thing you had expected to hear.

You stared at him in disbelief, hardly daring to believe what he meant by that.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Zak was about to respond, but Aaron beats him to it, revealing Zak’s feelings for you.

“It means he likes you, (Y/n).”

“Aaron, shut up! No I don’t!”

“Stop lying! Stop lying to yourself and just admit it!” Aaron shouts back.

You lightly chuckle when you see that Zak seemed to be the most embarrassed than you had ever seen him before.

When he doesn’t say anything, you begin to ask him to know for yourself that if it’s true.

“What Aaron just said, is it true?”

Zak sighs heavily before responding.

“Yes. Yes it is.”

You felt your cheeks burn pink as he continued with an explanation.

“I wasn’t planning on confessing. Well, confessing this soon at least. I’m sorry if this makes you feel weird and I understand if you don’t feel the same way.”

As Zak rambles on, you feel the happiest you ever have been in the longest time.

You decide to confess as well.

“Shut the hell up, you don’t need to worry about that because I like you, too.”

The second you spoke a confession of your own, he was just as happy as you were.

Now was probably not the best place or timing to ask you for a date, but he did it anyway, and of course you agree.

“Can I take you on a date?”

“Absolutely!”

“It’s a date!”

Because you were both caught up in the moment, you had momentarily forgotten about Aaron.

Aaron takes his fist to the door, slightly scaring the hell out of you and Zak as his shouting to let him out.

“We get it! You like each other! Now let me out, I can’t take much longer of being locked in!”

“Stop lying!”

Zak talks back.

This was an interesting lockdown, especially for your first.

You were just going to keep it at that.

~~~

A/N:

Thank you so much for requesting! This was so much fun to write, please feel free to send more stuff in!!’ 💜

[greenerteacups]

Hi GT, I hope you are doing well! who is your favorite Weasley?

Thank you! Absolute treat of a question. Oh, man. It's Ron, right? It was always going to be Ron.

So here's the thing: the Weasleys are a really well-characterized family in that you can kind of see a lot of character emerge through limited sketches and contextual information. Bill is Number One Boy, the best at everything, oldest child who was always confident and at peace with his indisputable place in the family; so he's a chill, cool, incredibly competent guy who naturally takes-charge. Charlie is a patented never-grew-out-of-your-middle-school-dragons-phase Weird Kid, but like, mindfully and enthusiastically so, because his parents probably still had plenty of time to support and nurture his interests; plus he's also different to Bill and excels in different ways, so they aren't too competitive (as we see). Percy is the first one to suffer from the pressure of mounting expectations, and he's very quickly followed by the twins, who do the classic "if I can't be the best I'll be the worst" late-sibling trick of acting up for attention, so he gets lost in the shuffle. (The fight between Ron and Percy in Chapter 58 is, hence, in substantially about the relationship between the two most-ignored members of the Weasley family, and that's why Ron is so much angrier at him than the rest of them. Like I've said before, Ron always thinks he's got it the worst, but he takes pride in being able to kinda "tough it out," and nothing pisses him off like other people's self-pity.) Ginny is obviously the baby of the family, a girl with everyone wrapped around her finger, and I love her, but I feel like we didn't get enough grit in her portrait— she's just really successful in everything she does, in a way that can read as flat to some people, and certainly read as flat to me my first time through the books. In fact, Ginny reminds me a lot of Bill: first daughter/first son, described often as "cool" and clever and good at basically everything, charming and generally liked by all. Which is lovely. A delight to read, just like the twins are. But my taste in characters ranges way more fucked-up and mean.

Ron is the last boy, "sixth son of a woman who wanted a daughter" (fascinating line that complicates everything we know about Molly's relationship with her kids — and BTW, how the hell does Ron know that, and how old was he when he learned it? And this also comes into play with Molly's cry of "not my daughter" to Bellatrix which like, as a moment obviously fucking rules, but also — there's a reason she says daughter, not "child," right? Do you see what I'm digging at? Anyway). Ron meets Harry and recognizes himself in how Harry defaults to thinking people don't care about him, or won't help him if he asks, because — although they come from very different circumstances, Ron's home was completely loving, just not as nurturing as he always needed it to be — Ron usually goes in assuming people don't care about him, too. So his first instinct is to go: "Alright. Well, I'll care about you, then, weird stranger. Do you want to share my horrible sandwich, and also my life, perhaps?" Goddamn! Sixth of seven in a house with never enough to go around, and he's immediately like: "fuck it, room for one more." Because he could have been Percy — and you can see it in the way that Ron is mean, sometimes, he's not careful with his words and he struggles with empathy and he's got a vengeful streak that comes out when he's pissed — but he isn't selfish enough, he loves too much and too easily, and it takes shockingly little to earn his loyalty. You just have to pay a little attention to him.

[slocum-dodson]

Mr slocum, have you ever experimented with the cooking oil you use for your donuts? Because I do wonder how certain types of oil would affect the taste.

That's an excellent question. In the pre-war days, we used coconut oil: 1. because it smelled nice; 2. because we could charge more for our doughnuts on account of those darn supply issues. Nowadays, we use whatever cooking oil we can salvage or manufacture in-house, mostly corn oil. But for all that I've listed, the doughnuts have to be watched constantly, or else they'll burn.

your friend, Ron Dodson.

[aeligsido]

OKAY BUT — Anastasia AU.

Harry is, of course, Anya/Anastasia. Dimitri would be Ginny (bc i adore Hinny), and as Vlad we would have Ron, Fred, and George (I would just put Ron but having the twins as conmen is too excellent to pass on). Rasputin is, obviously, Voldemort, and I think his bat associate is probably Peter or Snape (maybe Crouch Jr?). The family member looking for their lost kid is Sirius (and Remus!!!) and Sophie is Hermione (she's Remus' secretary and handles things for him since he's often sick). She also has her love story with Ron bc Romione <3

(although Ron and Hermione with Dimitri and Anya's relationship & Harry counting points works wonderfully well too lmao)

SO!!! The Potters got killed by Voldemort and Sirius just managed to escape with Harry. But they end up being separated in the following chaos and never found each other back :C Harry ends up suppressing his memories bc trauma, and Sirius finds refuge in another country (alternatively I would think it funny if instead of going from Russia to France they went from Britain to Russia lmao).

Once of age, Harry leaves the orphanage he was living in (bonus point if Marge Dursley was the one in charge of said orphanage, for funsies). He ends up meeting the Weasleys, who I imagine are trying to get out of the country to join their eldest brother (I'm going with the idea that their parents are either dead and not able to care for them anymore/help them, and also they're pretty poor and looking for ways to improve their lives). Their latest con is "finding the Potter boy, bringing him to Black, and getting the reward", and they think Harry is perfect for the role. Harry is going along bc he's longing for a family and, well, it won't hurt to try, right?

So they set out together and travel to the country where Sirius currently lives. Insert here montage of bff-ism between Ron and Harry, blossoming romance between Harry and Ginny, general shenanigans, attempted murders from a newly-risen Voldemort (so everything just like in canon).

Meanwhile, Remus thinks about stopping trying to find Harry bc it's just hurting him and Sirius so much at this point, but Sirius is not ready to lose hope yet. They have a mature discussion about it I swear.

During their travels, the Weasleys do notice that Harry is weirdly knowledgeable on the Potters. Not even the big stuff everyone knows, but random little details that even them and their careful researches didn't always catch. They probably have a talk about it at some point, and then put it in the back list of their priorities.

And then there's there! Hermione is the one to meet them at first. She has a list of questions, knows everything there is to know, and has been living with Sirius and Remus since she was a teenager and knows all the stories, so she's rarely caught off guard and can usually seed the potential Harrys pretty well. She also has a nonsense attitude and pretty eyes and Ron is immediately taken and a blubbering mess. Fred makes fun of him, George tries to charm Hermione, they lose track for a few minutes here before it's back to business. And Harry passes the test!! Idk what would be the last question bringing up the memory but what Harry remembers would be, I think, some alternative of Padfoot and Moony. Maybe the question was "how did you call Lord Black and his husband?" and usually people go with "Uncle Sirius and Uncle Remus" which is true since Harry did call them that, but also since he was a baby he called them Paddy and Moo-Moo too, and sometimes it still used to come out — and that's what comes when Hermione asks this question, and she's curious. She knows about the Padfoot and Moony nicknames bc, again, she's living with them, and they use it in private and she's been included in their very private circle for a bit now.

So she tells them they passed, and then I think I would diverge a bit more from the movie — Hermione would report everything to Remus, including the nicknames, and he immediately asks to meet them. There's no one outside of Sirius and Remus who know about it, after all, and either it's a sick joke or it's the real Harry (and it wouldn't expose Sirius to something or someone that would hurt him)(which, you know, Sirius doesn't want Remus to expose himself to things or people that could hurt him either, but does Remus listens to him? No!). So they meet or I think more like seeing them from afar, and Remus would recognize Harry anywhere, so he plans a proper meeting for them all.

And that's when Voldemort would come back!! The kids (Hermione included) are out together, probably for shopping/tourist time, and bam! Oldy Voldy is ambushing them and trying to kill Harry (they hadn't noticed the attempted murders until then, btw). There's a fight, and someone runs to get Lord Black here as fast as possible please and thank you (maybe Fred or George, I think). So Sirius saves the day!! And once Voldemort is finally gone, there are a lot of hugs and tears. Sirius has his godson back, Harry has a family, and maybe the Weasleys will stay in town longer (or even settle down here, who knows?) <3

[seriousbrat]

quidditch and class

Okay originally this was a tangent in the tags of my last post but I started thinking about it more and it got too complex haha.

While thinking about quidditch as a sport, we see many very prominent, very talented female players like Ginny, the other Gryffindor Chasers, Gwenog Jones/the Holyhead Harpies, Mullet, Moran. (Notably, Katie, Ginny, and Demelza are all explicitly better than Seamus and Dean. And Ron haha.) As as a sport it's seemingly equal between genders and therefore played in mixed-gender teams, and this is likely explained by the fact that speed is controlled by an external object, the broom. So while what we value in sport and athleticism in the real world has been heavily predicated on what we consider the biological 'advantages' of (cis) men, in Quidditch this is not so much the case.

It may be that certain positions (Beater) are generally more suited to cis men, but it may also be that women excel specifically as Chasers and Seekers, which are after all the key positions on a Quidditch team. If everyone is capable of achieving the same speed (and therefore force) on a broomstick, other factors might come into play, such as flexibility, dexterity, endurance, strategy.

However, the importance of the humble broomstick also means that the sport would be strongly influenced by class. Who can afford the best broom, basically.

It's wild that broom choice in pro quidditch isn't (as far as we know) standardised, but essentially a wealthy team/nation like I guess Ireland lol would have an advantage against a less wealthy team or nation, who couldn't supply Firebolts to all its players. In the case of Ireland I suppose the British Ministry of Magic also possibly governs them (I think? rip? ?) so Ireland would have funding from Britain, presumably.

And to be clear this happens irl too, less obviously perhaps, but wealthier nations will be able to dedicate more resources, better equipment, and better training to their athletes. This is why the US wins so many Olympic medals, not because its people are inherently better or more athletic than other countries with comparable populations, whatever American Exceptionalism would have you believe.

Harry's good without his Firebolt but also it's a little unfair haha. To be fair Ginny's just as good, maybe better than him, with whatever the Weasleys can afford for her. And it's also true that in CoS Malfoy/the Slytherins are still worse than Harry and the Gryffindors, even with better brooms, as I think Wood points out. So it could be that broom choice doesn't matter quite as much as it seems, in the sense that at least the talent of the athlete is the predominant factor in how well any given broom functions. In the flying lesson in PS we see that brooms do respond to some sort of innate talent in the user, so this would make some sense.

Still, in a situation with two equally matched players in terms of talent, the determining factor would likely be broom quality. So it is still important. I assume that JKR just didn't think about this lmao. Which whatever, maybe if HP was a series about sport, not delving into this question would matter more (and by her own admission she designed Quidditch to not make sense.) I'd have to reread Quidditch Through the Ages but it really should have been mentioned there lol. Oh well, not sure how realistic it is for 'Kennilworthy Whisp' to have a class-based analysis of his favourite sport anyway lmao.

For the purposes of worldbuilding I think it's fine for this to be the case, since the WW is not supposed to be a fair, perfect utopia, and like I said this very much happens in real life too. It's interesting to think about though.