#an allo ally

[i-upset-to-dead-65]

You post a lot about asexual, is it rude of me to ask if you are one?

When I was 16 I identified as Asexual because I wasn't attracted to men and had so much internalized homophobia that I didn't even let myself consider being attracted to women. Then when I was 17 I really let myself consider it and realized I was hella gay and very sexually attracted to women.

Because I spent a lot of time learning about Asexuality and engaging in the culture, I have a deep respect for it and the people who are Asexual.

A lot of aphobes act like what happened with me is what will happen to all Asexuals, that they'll one day realize they are actually attracted to X gender. But that's not the case, that's not how Asexuality works. Lack of sexual attraction is a real orientation and has been recognized and embraced by the LGBT community for ages.

I love Aces and everyone in the ace/gray/demi spectrum including romantic orientations as well. There's a lot of bullshit that gets spewed around and meaningless, hurtful discourse so I'll defend the Asexual community till I die.

[teaboot]

😭 friend in the queer group came out as straight today and we had to reassure them that we still loved them 😭😭😭

[lovelessrage]

A post made me think about this again. No fault to anyone who does this out of complete ignorance, but I do hope if you do realize it you don't continue to do it anyway.

I need aspecs to specify their allos. Need them to start specifying really bad. Some use "allo" to mean "not aro/ace". So, are you included if you're alloace or aroallo? Or do you count towards "home team" more? What if you don't like that division? Is it allorose or not?

Either way, allo isn't even just on the romantic and sexual spectrum. Plenty of people who say "the allos" or similar blanket phrasing are, themselves, allo! They're alloplatonic, allofamilial, alloalterous, etc.! At least, they often tend to be. They just don't think about them, because if you've always had them and never questioned it, you don't really see yourself as "allo", you see yourself as "standard". Not always done out of malicious platonormativity and other normative ideals, but typically out of ignorance. Plenty of alloroses are not "just allos", they're alloalloapls or alloalloafams, or any other assortment of things. They're still aspec, but also allo. This isn't even getting into spectrum labels that can be both allo and aspec at the same time for the same attraction. So, can we get specific? Because really, in a community this big, it's necessary.

I just... need aspecs to realize "allo" is a prefix. You may use it as a word, but it is a part of a word that plenty of things shorten to! It is not that much more effort to type "allorose" or "alloromo" or "allopl" or any other assortment of abbreviations that specify who the hell you're talking about.

[outlying-hyppocrate]

in case you didn't know already. aplatonic people are actually cool as fuck.

[aro-ace-culture-is]

Aroace culture is having their views on love and sex rechecked again and again and again and again.....until they settle on one. Being an aroace sure changes our views on love/sex, it's transformational and deep!....atleast in my experience *ahem*

Posted on Nov 5, 2023

[degengxrl]

”I'd argue that it's an identity for antisexual. Sure, there must also be some people with low sex drive/no need for intimacy who now feel more empowered to adopt the label.”

“demisexual isnt that just normal”

“asexuals are just incels who cant get a gf”

“Asexuals are, without exception, pxdophiles who are scared to engage with their sexual desires.”

“you're not asexual, you're on antidepressants.”

“being aroace is a mental disability"

allos™️ stop talking abt aspec identities challenge omfg

pt: allos™️ stop talking abt aspec identities challenge omfg end/pt.

stfu

[bazpire]

I think tumblr thinks I'm aroace which is just. Hysterical.

[yeye-hiro]

Just learned about aplatonic and afamilial. Aplatonic I get it and all, but I'm a bit curious about afamilial... Not in a bad way, It's interesting, and... Idk, I mean, I thought people didn't think that much about family bond? I thought it was just like a platonic relationship? Like, I love my sister, I consider her my best friend like a daughter I should protect, because I saw her growing and all that stuff, of course I have a bond with her but it's because I was there all along, and I believe if it was someone's daughter I would feel the same, wouldn't I? If I never saw her at all I would never love her the same way, probably not even love, probably not even care. What is exactly a "family bond" of isn't platonic? I should feel something with my family even when I almost never saw most of them?

[folks-just-call-me-orange-joe]

“Just because you’re a lesbian, it doesn’t make you less of a being”

✨Cringe ally Marge✨

[peach-pot]

allo queer people are all in favor of found family and queer friendship until you do it in an aro way that goes against amatonormativity and then suddenly that makes no sense to them.

it’s cool to combat heteronormativity but only if you do it by slapping different gender roles & labels over the same societal structures. when you’re not participating in those societal structures at all, suddenly all the cool allies aren’t on board anymore.

[avenpt]

Hi. I am so sorry if this is inappropriate. I am in a very loving relationship. My partner never seems to want to have s*x with me but they do play with themselves. I know they love me but is it possible they may be ace and not interested in having sex with someone else? Or am I completely misunderstanding what ace is. I am so sorry. Please help educate me.

Hello, anon! It wasn't inappropriate at all. It is certainly a possibility that your partner is ace, but it is up to them to identify that way. Aces can masturbate or even enjoy sex, but they do not feel sexual attraction towards other people. I think it could be a conversation you may want to have with them. See what their feelings are about possibly being ace.

We wish you all the best in your relationship!

[contagious-watermelon]

am i the only one who feels like aspecs have started doing to "allo" what neurodivergent people have done to "neurotypical"

[redysetdare]

I'm sorry but it's wild to me that repulsed ppl constantly have to add disclaimers to their posts Abt being frustrated Abt how they are treated all because some ppl will take it as a personal attack against favorable ppl.

[apollosimps]

Are you really an ally?

Are you really an ally when you sit back and watch as your queer classmate (or any classmate, really) get dogpiled on during class because they said something in support of queer rights?

Are you really an ally when your sibling comes out to you in one of the most vulnerable moments of their life, only to ask tell them "maybe you should rethink this"?

Are you really an ally when you, a queer person, is willing to ignore other subjegated minorities because they supposedly aren't as oppressed as you are?

Are you really an ally? Seriously? Because you aren't acting like one.

I'm not asking for activism (though that would be nice). I'm asking for support. That is what allyship entails.

[cupid-quinn]

ranting on the blog cos i fucking can!!!! saw a post talking shit about a fic that involved an asexual character and im just annoyed!!!!

i hate reading a fic and seeing the comments and one of them is like “hey this piece of work is shit cos u represented this asexual character wrong >:(“ when the work represented the asexual character PERFECTLY FINE but theyre not sex repulsed.

the character could be shown making sex jokes or even just casually talking about sex and somehow its an issue? lord FORBID theyre in the bedroom too (no matter if they’re participating or not)

funny enough asexual people arent all sex repulsed, idk how many times this needs to be said? not all asexual folk are the silly weird “sometimes i forget sex exist!” character thats become to prevalent in media now. and im not saying being sex repulsed is bad/being stereotypical, being sex repulsed is fine! ok! amazing! but what im saying is it isnt the only way to be asexual.

honestly any representation of asexuality is good representation cos its a (sparkle effect) SPECTRUM (sparkle effect) some are sex repulsed, some are sex indifferent, some are sex favourable, some are sex weird and some just really wanna touch some ass. You literally cannot misrepresent asexuality unless you purposely write a canon ace character as allo. you cannot misrepresent asexuality cos people are weird and odd and different.

im sorry if your uncomfy with an asexual character being written/shown as being sex indifferent/sex favourable but please just block the tags, dont read the work, dont interact and fucking dont comment. youre acting like an ass and making someone feel bad for no reason. its fine to be uncomfortable cos funny enough you have the right to but dont put others down cos you’re uncomfortable.

it happens so often no matter if its fanfiction, artwork, whatever-the-fuck, anytime an asexual character is shown in a sex related situation theres a problem. unless if the character has been specified to be sex repulsed, shut up and let people have fun.

it gets tiring thats all?

(not using any specific tags, only cos i dont wanna get harassed but if you somehow found this congrats ig)

[117degrees]

in the 10 or so years since i realized i was ace, i sadly cant say allos have really changed. they say they support aspecs but in reality they just tolerate us. they still see our orientations as a choice or a modifier and not its own orientation and identity. they still think asexual means “doesnt like sex”, aro means “doesnt like romance”, etc etc. and will infantilize us intensely. they say demi identity is “just normal”, they call us abusers for being in relationships with people we dont feel certain forms of attraction to, and yet they still insist that they see us as “valid!!”

most allos dont support us, they dont truly see us as queer, they just realized that being aspec exclusionists wasnt popular anymore and pretended to change their minds to save face.

it hasnt gotten better for us.