#ambitious to do list
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one thing i have to hand to people online who leave reviews on obviously low budget westerns is that at least they don't complain that it's an obviously low budget western. it seems that i can't say this for some of the people leaving reviews on obviously low budget queer movies
#i do have a specific movie in mind right now. yes. but it's not vagueposting anymore if i tell you it's long time no see (2017)#'their relationship moves too fast' this whole thing is 76 minutes what were you setting yourself up for#'it's like a fanfic' maybe ambitious gay romance action stories feel like fanfic to you because that's often the only place we get them#'it's cringe' 'it's mid' 'it felt rushed' it's a korean low budget queer movie (or miniseries) from 2017 about hitmen who fall in love!!!#give yourself a break and realize you may need to calibrate your expectations accordingly. because if you do this fucks#and even if it's not for you (which is fine! always!) then please. i beg of you. allow space for the fact that even as recently as 2017#this (a queer romance action drama with a happy ending) essentially Did Not Exist. and consider they may have done A Lot with what they had#(2017! it predates history3 trapped (2019). it predates the old guard (2020). it way predates kinnporsche (2022). i could go on)#(( < a weird list extremely & deeply worthy of interrogation. but i'm physically wrenching my own hands away to avoid typing 1000 tags))#((... and i'm not kidding about 'could go on'. i have compiled a very messy list and i'm THIS close to starting a spreadsheet. my god))#*#special bad take prize for anyone complaining that they have sex too soon btw. there's so much to unpack there
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June Writing Wishlist
Finish something for each of the unfinished Chesterton Challenge prompts (current plans are for two pieces of flash fiction, a bit of Arateph worldbuilding, and two scenes from Shadowstruck)
Write at least 10,000 words of a single project (or, possibly, divide it up between two shorter retellings)
#adventures in writing#this is probably absurdly ambitious#given that i'm trying to write half as many stories as i wrote all last month#you know my most ambitious writing month ever#plus write more words than i've written on any story in years#but there's a reason this is a wishlist instead of a goal list#after a month of a bunch of little pieces i'd really like to sink into one longer work#i've got two main contenders at the moment#but i do also want to write those pieces i couldn't get to at the end of may#maybe if shadowstruck comes together better than expected i could expand it so it fills both goals#since i have the short ideas in place i'm hoping those would take no more than a week#and since the longer works are things i've been building for years#it's possible the writing could go faster than it did when i was trying to brainstorm tons of different ideas all at once#just dive into writing instead of needing to do all the brainstorming#also on top of all this i've got two or three shorter summertime retellings that are demanding attention#but there's no way i could hit all three goals#which is why i have a second option for 2#we'll see how it goes
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i can tell the moment my medsm kicked in since im suddenly thinking of modding the stardew texture files
#sitting here seriously weighing how i wld do that <- sucks at pixel art and can never finish ambitious projects#not to mention the separate frames for animations including the avatar customization and actions#if i do ever actually go thru with this itd probably be more realistic to work with smaller assets like thumbnails and portraits#mainly i wanna keep my cabin looking the same as it does at the start of the game its cute and tiny..#yapping#for later#to do list
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exercise day
#TAGCEN#I must confess. I just draw slice of life stuff for my tagcen guys instead of ''da story'' cuz#doing anything involving the narrative would require me to decide on whether or not kayfabe exists in their world LMAO#this is a stupid thing to get hung up on btw.#the main beats would stay the same. but the texture of it all would be different!!#also i feel like if its staged itd mean twice the work to establish to the viewer what and where their fourth wall is#what story do i specifically want to tell u_u? a normal achievable one or a wacky confusingly ambitious one#I need to make a list of pros and cons. there are so many mutually exclusive pros. or what if I just never make a decision ever#just me drawing sketches of my cute guys interacting cutely. 4ever
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I change my vision depending on the selfship tbh
#riv rambles#I know some people have a set one but#I really do think depending on the selfship and the setting#the vision and the archon/message of said vision#would vary#like for example with alhaitham it’s electro because#I interpret electro vision wielders to be people of a specific ambition or goal#raiden and eternity or yae and freeing ei or dori and mora or kujo sara and being loyal to the shogun or cyno and upholding justice#there’s a hyper specific goal that all electro vision wielders are very centered and focused around that they are canonically vry ambitious#about achieving/maintaining#with alhaitham my selfship insert is very ambitious and dedicated to integration of desert children to the akademiya and just better#integration of the desert folks in the political system in general in sumeru#and with Wriothesley and Kinich it would be pyro because#I interpret pyro vision wielders to have one specific passion that they are very attached to#it’s not more so an ambition but more so a constant that they hold very dear and are passionate about#amber with the knights and klee with her explosives and lyney with magic and xiangling with cooking and yoimiya w fireworks + yanfei w law#bennett with adventuring and Hu Tao with business and xinyan with music and again the list goes on#anyway I think in the case of my selfship with wrio my insert is rather passionate about prison reform and in my selfship with Kinich it#centers around being passionate about the nation itself and natlan’s wellbeing/safety in an ongoing war with the abyss#and with ayato its cryo bc i think cryo vision wielders are people who have two sides of themselves constantly at battle#diona hates alcohol but makes fantastic drinks. kaeya conflicted with loyalty to his ancestry vs his nation atm. Eula conflicted with her#clan identity vs being a knight. Ayaka conflicted with duty vs living life as she pleases. shenhe and ganyu struggle between the adeptal#and human worlds since they’re involved with both#qiqi is alive but dead. freminet is loyal to the house of the hearth but wishes to also be free. and wrio ofc is in some ways a hero and#in some ways a criminal and those conflicting natures of his actions are at odds with each other very complexly so#ANYWAY#ofc again the list goes on but#for ayato I would consider my insert a cryo wielder because I think that being an arranged marriage#there’s conflict of duty vs personal choice and freedom but also not wanting to hold affection for him at first vs developing it anyway#labeling myself to one vision element for my insert all across the board I suppose leaves no room for the nuances of visions themselves
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right now ive warmed up dribblin over kate im gonna make lunch ( guess what!! it's v chicken tendies again!! ) and start some oc art for real this time
#🍊.txt#im thinking of being ambitious#and maybe drawing haylin and elena#im GOING ROGUE FROM MY ART TO DO LIST#but whatever its fine#anyway drawing elena is fun that's why
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me, a former homestuck cosplayer, seeing all the other alastor cosplayers at the con wearing gray facepaint:
#this is purely a joke y’all looked amazing#HOWEVER it did give me flashbacks to unsealed paint on fucking EVERY goddamn thing#also I definitely should have worn a wig but I think if something (except like two specific hats) touches my head I will explode#I looked weird with my normal hair but it’s fine it’s fine don’t worry about it#going to a con in November and tbh I may just dye my hair red rather than wear a wig#idk how I would do the black tips impermanently lol I do not actually want to have the fuckass bob in real life#maybe hair wax or something idk#I used that once and it was a sensory hell but if it’s just on the ends maybe it would be okay#the perils of playing dress up I guess man idk#I have some Plans for my next alastor cosplay though (rubbing my gay little hands together)#once I’m not in crisis mode I want to work on it so bad#bc man. I have Ideas.#v excited to do a masquerade al#time to do something overly ambitious babeyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!#got a Definitely Not Questionable deer skull mask a while ago and stripped off all the feathers and beads and stuff#found some extremely cheap restoration grill cloth on ebay that I’m gonna glue onto it#I wanna get some fake Spanish moss or something to drape over the antlers#I have a list of possible designs to make in glitter/sequins to make the mask more masqueradey too#so far it’s mostly just bayou plants that have names that are juuuust close enough to something alastor-related to be funny to me#no one else will get it or find it funny but that’s okay 👍#trying to think of a way to incorporate a kind of jazzy motif without resorting to like. notes and clefs bc that’s a bit on the nose idk#maybe I’m just thinking too hard about this#also thinking of a stylized superhet circuit diagram (or part of it lol)#yes I have 500 ideas no the mask isn’t big enough to accommodate even 5 of them probably#I also have an old burgundy cloak that would be perfecttttt#I think underneath it I will just wear the normal attire to not venture TOO far from canon lol#so like the red shirt with the cross and the black pants and his lil deerprint dress shoes#I gotta fix the bow tie from this last con bc I forgot the middle was red and ended up cutting up a christmas decoration to sew on lmao#I wanna use something satin so it matches the texture of the rest of the tie lol#idk!!!! I am just excited about this :>
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National Clean Your Home Month 2023
Maintenance:
laundry (sort / wash / fold / put away)
dishes (wash / dry / put away)
vacuum /sweep
take out trash / recycling
deal with mail & bills /receipts
Big goals:
declutter kitchen, keep clean for annual maintenance of gas boiler
reduce amount of books in the laundry basket
start selling part of my MLP collection / duplicates from bundle
start decluttering Corner of Doom
start decluttering sideboard in hallway -> sell sideboard? -> reassemble cabinet from basement?
declutter desk
start decluttering cabinet under desk
install a wall shelf or another picture ledge
Crafting Goals:
finish one (1) cross stitch project OR
finish 12 sachets for advent calendar
give majority of paper stars to a family friend
These are my goals for NaClYoHo. However, due to life I might manage only maintenance and maybe one big goal in addition to cleaning the kitchen.
Last week my Mom not only was admitted to the hospital but two days later she had urgent surgery in another hospital. And she'll need radiation therapy. So we're worried and I'll probably spend most November weekends at Mom's home to take care of some things.
#naclyoho#salty pirates month#cleaning#cleaning and crafting is it#this list is probably too ambitious#I might do a few days overtime in December if I can
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I never finish anything…. WOW ME??? MAKING A LIST!? NO WAY.
Here is a list of things I should ‘work on’:
Excel
Copywriting
Web design
JavaScript
Python
There’s more?… oh right- Russian! How could I forget, that’s like the main thing I should focus on.
Spanish
Sign language
Communication
Hitting 50k words in the pedophilia wip
YouTube videos (I have no clue what to post there)
Instagram (my acc is so trashy)
Art
My blog- or should I just say website??
#habits#ambition#ambitious#entp#motivating myself#writers and poets#maybe#writeblr#to do list#hobbies#hobby#too many thoughts#too many ideas#too many wips#too many hobbies#skilldevelopment#skill#leadership skills#communication skills#skill issue#send help#self destruction#self development#muhahaha#pls help#adhd#boredom#bpd feels#to tag or not to tag#procastination
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no thoughts head empty only minister of magic sirius black
#hE<3#look. charisma that would make voldemort WEEP#he comes across as fiery and able to rally the people#and he is! and he also has a Very ambitious list of policy goals#BUT HE GOES ABOUT THEM THOUGHTFULLY#EVERY MASSIVE FIERY SPEECH IS DESIGNED WITH A VERY SPECIFIC GOAL IN MIND#AND HE'S DOING WORK BEHIND THE SCENES TOO#HE'D BE GOOD AT IT
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adding getting my electric guitar down from the loft n trying to start playing it again to my plans for the summer…boys who get up at 12pm are capable of anything if they simply roll up their sleeves and employ a little self-delusion…
#truly an ambitious list of things i want to spend my time on this summer especially if i manage to get a job. i fear i did not factor in#how much i love to enjoy my number one favourite pastime: doing Nothing#(ridi's) bigmouth strikes again#I miss her though she’s sooo gorgeous. she’s a white second hand one my dad got for me…
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i hope to make art that inspires and touches others. and also to know that im doing that
#indexed post#If i may be a little ambitious i think it would be an honor if i could be someones favorite artist some day...#occasionally i have found people putting me in their 'favorite music artist' lists which is really crazy and awesome#but its like. yknow. yeah#my relationship to the 'artist' identity can feel tricky sometimes#but it is one of the thangs im doing
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I am SORRy for everyone who has to deal with me after topical anaesthesia. my brain is fuzzy, i’m gonna try to write fic and then nap and then see if I can do homework
and then go to a concert in the evening
#i just almost spilled tea over myself because the left side of my face does not work#i have an ambitious to-do list today help
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Hyping myself up to have the MOST productive afternoon possible ✨
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not to be like a "oh technology bad social media evil" old man yells at cloud, but ever since uninstalling instagram it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders
#it speaks!#really though like not even exaggerating#i've been writing in my journal every day and have gotten SO MUCH of my moving to-do list done#i just feel like i have that energy to do things back it's insane#i'm working myself up to doing more ambitious things like daily walks and large paintings and stuff but i feel i can do it#i believe in myself and my progress!!!!!
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losing the idgaf war
#kommento#// playing spltoon flopping at every level and dying yelling TAKE MEEE take my brain and cradle it nicely take me into your care#// successfully fading into obscurity because im not necessarily popular nd slandering my own name further so it's smeared in history books#// and my legacy dies an untimely death if I ever had one and leave nothing behind and this gas station dissappears into the fog#// that I couldn't be the one in people's mouths when they think about this One Guy that I was no competition to anyone else#// in this so-called 'community' that was so hostile and volatile to me because I had standards and I projected too hard for my own good#// not that ive been badgered or hurt or maimed or anything i dont think i would even still be in this hellhole if that ever were the case#// but im in this specific pocket of fndom are full of freaks and i want to appease most of them and make a name for myself#// —ambitious i know— majority of these people ARE freaks and so the people who are popular ARE freak themselves#// so techincally im trying to appeal to three people but i want more when it's technically not possible#// and im a little bitch so i hate the turnout ?? this is why i'll never be satisfied in here but ive been still kicking crying and going#// i wish i wasnt a hater i wish the things i dont want to see werent so physically revolting that my heart sinks and i see red#// i wish it was a more minor thing where im a hater for about 50% of it and i can Easily Dismiss it#// than hatership being a part of my personality#// that I've earned so little and lost so much but everyone and everything that I've loved is so genuine and real and too much#// that the stakes of doing something is so high like it's gambling itself that I'm not too sure I'm satisfied with my time here#// despite all the things I believed were good that's happened already#// that if I leave right now on the fickle decisiveness of the squirrel in my brain there would be things on this figurative bucket list I#// never have accomplished and I'm not too sure I can come back to do it because of my home that looks like war trenches itself#// all this time and love I've put into this world and I'm stubborn and selfish enough to believe I have not received what I am due#// and that this love and dedication was never received by enough people as I perceive#// sorry for being a baby's first but my time here in this pit of hell has been th absolute worst and most horrid of other fndoms I've been#// and while I practice the inherent belief I am the scum of the earth and the worst person alive#// and that I leave the things I love so much behind with wordless and meaningless abandonment#// I've made so much and shared so much that enough of my love was perceived by others and that#// I've at least left myself some things behind even if it has never reached others the way I humbly wished it to#// lmao like I'm writing an overly dramatic resignation letter and I leave it front desk and when I exit the building it#// either completely disappears behind me or keeps standing but stay unmaintained for the duration I'm gone#// people could still come and go or I could make it disappear myself. I think I've done a good job at making it easy to do that#// sorry for being dramatic ? idk how to give closure on this if the time ever comes or if this Is The Closure
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