#am i relapsing?
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realizing canonwise subkit is probably most definitely a proship or something considering subspace sees medkit as a traitor and literally caused the loss of his eye
chat what do i do. i am not having a good night
like the only instances i have of it are an au based around subspace being sad about medkits fucking dramatic ass death and a fucking crack fic thats in the works about medkit subspace and ban hammer having a wedding
#homohollers#phighting#medkit phighting#subspace phighting#ban hammer phighting#subkit#km not putting all the tags#it hurts so fuckin much dude tonight has been horrendous i dont fuckin know what to do anymore#am i reverting back to my old horrible problematic self?#am i relapsing?#am i gonna end up the horrible person i was before#i dont want to#i dont want to hurt people anymore#or myself#i dont fucking want to do bad things#i wanna be a good person#i want#to be good#please
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(The rest is under the readmore!)
(Next part) ->
#breaking news: local man is confronted with the fact that if he uses dumb contests as an excuse to avoid emotional vulnerability —#then his partner is going to do the exact same thing lol#also covid update: I had a bit of a relapse and have been completely stuck in bed again the last couple days#am still definitely doing better than before but remain very very fatigued#apparently changing my bedsheets was a little much for me lol#anyway thank you to the people who have sent in asks the last couple days!! I am very excited to get to them#I just had to get this self indulgent comic out of my system first lololol#bsd#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#soukoku#skk#bungou stray dogs#my art
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Have you ever drawn gyutaro or daki? 🤔
m. maybe..
[PROBABLY OLD (SORT OF BAD AND SKETCHY) ART UNDER CUT]
they deserve to be happy. I wish we could've seen how they are outside of battle and somewhere like an upper moon meeting.
i really liked how they were to each other. i cried like a baby during their episode. i love that daki has full confidence that her brother will always protect her no matter what and that gyutaro knows daki will always try to do the same for him even if she'll most likely end up losing or get in more trouble because of it and loves her anyway.
It's a double-edged sword.. shE WENT TO HELL FOR HIM. DJKSAFEKJ REJECTING SALVATION??? CAUSE YOU MADE A PROMISE WITH YOUR BIG BROTHER??? BC TOGETHER YOURE THE STRONGEST????? OH FUCK IM GONNA cRYRFHE
dawg, im actually going to cry. shut the fuck up. SIBLINGS. SIBLINGS!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVED THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO MUCH, DAWG..........
and ofc, gyutaro head locked my heart
ofc i drew gyuatro, my cult member, HE WAS ONE OF MY BRAIN ROTS
I DREW THIS MAN LIKE MY LIFE WAS ON THE LINE. SKETCH BOOK, TABLET, PHONE, THE CORNERS OF MY NOTEBOOKS, NAPKINS, YOU FUCKING NAME IT. i just wish i could finish drawings......... sobs..........
I WAS YOUNGER AND IN SCHOOLING SO I THOUGHT ITD BE COOL TO HAVE A TUTOR AU WITH GYUTARO SET IN KIMETSU NO GAKUEN WHERE HE TUTORS FOR MONEY...... CAUSE I HEADCANON HIM TO BE A FAST LEARNER?? HE JUST DOESNT GIVE HIMSELF ENOUGH CREDIT CAUSE HES INSECURE AND SOBS.... HE ONLY THINKS HES GOOD FOR BEING UGLY AND SCARING PPL AWAY AND FIGHTING. AGHGHGHHH
THIS FEELS LIKE IM LOOKING BACK ON PHOTOS OF MY PAST LOVER...... GYUTARO..... MY BELOVED... I JUST WANTED HIM PAMPERED...............
SHUT THE FUCK UP //CRIES INTO MY HANDS
HOW DID YOU CLOCK ME SO FUCKING FAST???? DOES IT SHOW ON MY FACE???? IS IT A TELL IM NOT AWARE OF????????
#null rot#null brainwash#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#demon slayer#gyutaro#gyutaro shabana#shabana gyutaro#daki#daki shabana#shabana daki#DAWG HOW DID YOU KNOW HE WAS MY PREVIOUS OBSESSION IM SCREAMING INTO MY HANDS#THIS STAYS BETWEEN US. ONLY ON FUCKING TUMBLR.. I CANT LET BITCHES KNOW I RELAPSE TO DEMON SLAYER WITH DIFFERENT GUYS..#HES SO PERFECT TOO DAWG I CANT#MY FIRST.......#SOBS HARDER#AND DAKI TOO SHE WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY AND ANNOYIGN DUDE#SHES SO STUPID AND MEAN BUT SO FUCKING CARING FOR GYU SHUT UP#SHUT THE FUCK UP#MY TASTE IN MEN JUST GOT WORSE. GODDD GODDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#iM SO EMBARRASSED CAUSE BEFORE NORITOSHI IT WAS HIM.. IM SCREAMING#i also really dislike showing unfinished work but hey. momma didnt raise a bitch#ALSO I AM ALIVE. MY PC HAS JUST BEEN RUNNING INTO ISSUES AND IM TRYING SO HARD TO PUMP OUT THIS NEXT POST#IM PROMISING MYSLEF TO NOT POST ANYTHING ELSE UNTIL THEN
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thinking about John Doe and the dark world as a metaphor for addiction/relapse.
How circumstance and trauma pushed him to do something he told himself he’d never do again, and how he has to live with the consequences and the memories, even though he’s working to not be that person anymore.
And how much shame he carries about the things he’s done, because even if he was pushed to do them, he still did them. To him, he still made that choice, and he has to bear the weight of that.
Thinking about 43, in particular, where the witch is trying to tell John that all he was is all he’ll ever be. That, despite the work he’s put into bettering himself, he’ll only be seen as his mistake in the eyes of some.
And it just feels really meaningful that Arthur’s love is what saved him, in this context. That being forgiven and loved unconditionally, even though he’s made mistakes and hurt people, is how he can cope with the memories of what he’s done. It’s how he can stop himself from slipping back into being someone he doesn’t want to be, even when it’s hard.
love isn’t what makes him better, but it’s what makes him want to work to be better. It doesn’t undo what he’s done but it allows him to live with it.
I just think it’s interesting to read this as an addiction narrative, because so often addicts are dismissed because they’re addicts. Regardless of how much we’ve healed or how far we’ve come, there are some people who will never see beyond our addiction and will force their perspective onto us. Some people hold no compassion for us because they think we’ve made the choice, and think that the harm that resulted from that “choice” makes us unredeemable.
and to see John receiving Arthur’s support and love despite what he’s done, or what he was pushed to do, really reflects how important support is to recovery. Arthur doesn’t absolve John of his mistakes, he doesn’t dismiss the harm he caused, but he doesn’t hold it against him. He knows John is more than what he’s been, he knows John is capable of change and a good person in spite of it, he knows John is capable of being better. Only John can do the work of becoming who he wants to be, but Arthur’s love and support makes the work a little more bearable.
#This is a little bit incoherent and rambling#I just have a lot of feelings about John Doe and I have been thinking a lot about my own recovery and how much John in 43 reflects relapse#In part because I’ve been really afraid of relapsing recently#Tagging this but I’ll probably delete it later#malevolent#john doe malevolent#Also I could probably write a huge essay about this I have so much to say about it and I am willing to cite my sources
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UWAGA!!!
Na tiktoku jest mnóstwo filmów o naszej spoleczenoscj i kieruje to do osób które takie coś nagrywają czy wy możecie się w końcu ogarnąć na tiktoku jest mnóstwo ludzi którzy nie powinni tutaj być! Doskonale wiem że jak ktoś chce to i tak się znajdzie na tumblr ale rozsyłanie tego na tiktoku gdzie jest mnóstwo małych i nie świadomości niczego dzieci to naprawdę zły pomysł
Takim osobom życzę samych binge i abyście nigdy nie osiągnęły swojego wymarzonego ugw
MOTYLKI REBLOGUJCIE ABY POINFORMOWAĆ TE OSOBY O TYM CO ROBIĄ !!!
#blogi motylkowe#chce byc lekka jak motylek#chce schudnąć#i am so tired#jestem gruba#lekka jak motyl#motylki#motylki any#ed relapse#nie chce jesc
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No one understands how much I hate myself. I hate myself so fucking much I can’t even look on the mirror without feeling absolutely disgusted. I want to die.
#i dont want to be here#mentally exhausted#tw depressing stuff#im losing hope#i hate myself#i want to die#i’m so alone#self h@rm#i hate my existence#mental health relapse#anxi4ty#deppresing quotes#deppresing thoughts#depressing shit#i relapsed again#i want to disappear#tired of life#i hate my body#i hate me lol#i hate me why am i like this
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i think no matter what i do, ill always be this way forever
#mentally sick#mentally unstable#mentally tired#mentally drained#mentally exhausted#i am not mentally well#trauma#i wanna kms#tw depressing thoughts#depression relapse#take your meds
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I just watched both parkour civilization movies and I have so many thoughts about block game
Parkour civilization was restructured so that everyone begins at the bottom layer and makes their way to the top. The other main changes are that the route to the top is neither impossible nor barricaded by design. Failing a jump isn’t an instant ticket to perma death. There’s a universal safety net for so players can keep trying.
But providing actual ways for the lower levels to advance, does not change the fact THAT THERE WAS A LOWER LEVEL WITH UNACCEPTABLE QUALITY OF LIFE IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT OTHER CHANGES WERE MADE TO THE BOTTOM??? Are the noobs still kept on the verge of starvation?? Is food now free or do you still jump to eat?? Who farms food now that the pros don’t have to work?? Blocks are free for masters what about noobs & pros? And even if anyone at the base layer can make open attempts at the climb, are they provided the practice arenas of the higher levels??
Evbo’s ‘equal opportunity advancement’ solution also doesn’t address the other glaring problem of why parkour civilization was inherently flawed. Some people just suck at parkour! It’s simply not for them and their talents lie in other directions. But being a promising singer, builder, fighter, redstone engineer, or writer doesn’t matter because parkour is the ONLY valuable skill. You don’t like to jump but there’s only one route up. You could be at the bottom forever because your passion is worthless in Parkour Civilization.
Evbo fails to dismantle anything besides the most obvious, corrupt flaws of the system because at the end of the day, he still successfully climbed said system! (With some cheating & help to bypass the locks ofc). So his idea of fairness is having everyone else climb too. But providing people access to his way up doesn’t change the fact they have only 1 way to climb. And that they have to climb in the first place.
See, the other thing that haunts me is the implanted memories. Evbo KNOWS there’s a lifestyle outside of parkour 24/7. Evbo remembers endless land, buildings, crafting, and mining. Resources gatekept by parkour once used to be open to obtain by anyone. Sure, the memories are fake but the dream didn’t have to be. He was champion then god. Evbo knows about the endless ground but didn’t consider making that idea a reality even with endless power at his fingertips. Because he’s so entrenched in this society.
His dream was seeing endless skies and once he got there, he failed to share it with anyone else.
The sky used to be free.
TLDR Shonen protag works within in system they’re given and when system shows its flaws of corruption the narrative solution is to power up, beat up the big villains, and become the most op kid on the block instead of actually addressing societal flaws that accommodates and creates said villains
In this fanfic I will-
#I lied there’s no fanfic and there never will be#just like there’s no santa easter bunny & queen of england#I’m having a normal one out here girliepops#send help#I unironically enjoyed parkour civilization but I found the soft river bed and a shovel to start digging#This silly block game ain’t that deep but hyperfixation wants to make a lake out of it#I’m in my mcyt relapse era#Block world has me in a chokehold again send tweet#minecraft#mcyt#parkour civilization#pkciv#evbo#Anyways excellent series I was enthralled the whole time like a baby with cocomelon#Yes I understand it’s allegory & silly block game but also#this is how I personally engage in content I am unfortunately compelled by
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I want to lose weight for me. But the look on their faces while they watch me wither away. Yet they won't have access to me because they already made their choices a long time ago.
#i am deranged#tw ed but not sheeran#ed dairy#⭐️ve#i hate my body#ed relapse#tw 3d vent#3dtumblr#tw ana rant#@tw edd
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i dont remember seeing this picture but i'll be thinking about it for a while now
#these twinks were flirting since so long#am i having a charlos relapse rn? i must admit yes i am#carlos sainz jr#carlos sainz#charles leclerc#charlos#2018
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✨Hydrate✨ bitches
This is a reminder for everyone who sees this. Get up from where you're sitting and drink a glass of water<3
Reblog so your moots don't die on their beds in their girlcaves
#fresh memes#trending memes#best memes#reminder#i am sherlocked#sherlock fanfic#geralt fanart#lana del ray moodboard#everything is fine#andrew tate#tw ed in the tags#tw ed relapse#ed but not sheeran#ed bllog#tw ana diary#ana trigger#4n0rex1a#disordered eating in tags#disordered eating mention#hydro homies#hydration#don't die#th1n$po#th1nsp1r4t10n#tw ed diet
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The grumpiest guy I know
#fullmetal alchemist#fma#fmab#edward elric#I may or may not#have relapsed#really fucking hard#into fma#sorry (i am not sorry)#myart
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These are the stages of me waiting for my relapse aaaany day now
#shblrr#shblur#i wanna cvt#but relapsing is upsetting#jirai kei#jiraiblogging#jiraiblr#landmine girl#jirai#jirai girl#landmineblr#landmine kei#landmineblogging#jirai onna#jiraikei#jirai joshi#jirai coord#jirai fashion#jirai lifestyle#landmine type#landmine fashion#landmine#landmineposting#lifestyle landmine#lifestyle jirai#ame chan nso#nso ame#ame chan#im literally ame#needy girl overload
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idk if there's anything you can do about it but someone is using your chappell hot to go art on teepublic & I thought you would want to know if u don't already :(
Nice. love this for me./s
uhhh anyways thank you for bringing this to my attention @hyuckieberry! I’m gonna try to figure out TeePublic’s DMCA takedown request. which is very frustrating since i am from the Philippines. and DMCA is very much bound to just the USA.
for now, if anyone sees this, PLEASE HELP ME REPORT the account.
If anyone is interested in buying the tshirt/design, please consider supporting me, its up on my Redbubble. the only place where i have uploaded the design.
Honestly, simply reblogging and liking this or the original post i made will help immensely.
#narwhal speaks#chappell roan#chappell roan fanart#chappell roan fan merch#I thought i was finally having a good day and i was so proud of myself because i finally managed to get out of bed#after having a fucking relapse#and now this????????#it fucking sucks because the more i look into the DMCA takedown request of TeePublic#which btw very labor intensive and full of legal jargon i am ill equipped to follow#ITS LIKE ONLY FOR THE US????????????#I am currently living breathing in the philippines unfortunately#anyways uuuhhh#i’m gonna go cry and maybe my rage/frustrations can help me figure something out#i’m gonna be sick#hopefully my rage and frustration will keep me from spiralling back into a depressed state lol.#is this what i get for bedrotting for months?#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#fuck me gently with a fucking chainsaw
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it is so funny to me that STILL in season 14 they haven't found a better ghost defense than their little salt circles lmao.
every single time they say "ghosts can't cross the circle!! so whatever you do, do not leave it!!!!"
and then every single time the ghost blows the fucking salt circle away lmao guys c'mon
you killed the DEVIL can you like squeeze some glue on the ground before you sprinkle the salt or something idk
#not tryna tell you how to do your job but maybe i am#supernatural#silly little show#spn blogging#my ongoing spn relapse#spn season 14#spn 14x04#dean winchester#sam winchester
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I really hope that creature starts arguing on hyde's side if I'm honest because this isn't the first time frankie saw a scientific creation as not being a person and if I was creature rn I'd be more than a bit pissed it was happening again
#the glass scientists#tgs creature#like imagine you've spent like twenty years helping this woman learn that even if you aren't human you are still a person#and the second she sees another humanoid creation she starts relapsing to her old habits#I hope we just get him like:#👁👄👁 ma'am what does that mean about how you perceive me? am I a person to you? answer me. answer me victoria.
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