#am i projecting? yea 100%

[guysbf]

I personally headcanon Honey to have poor circulation, and in the winter their nail beds turn kinda purple because of it. Their hands/fingers are also cold all of the time for the same reason.

[cor-po-ra]

Barty Crouch Jr would be the nerdiest little shit possible. Was he lowkey insane? Yes ofc, but that man would have an obsession with true crime podcasts AND with messy classics. Like he would have read Lolita at the rip age of 15 just because he knew it was twisted. The perfume? Read. American Psycho? Yk it. The House of Spirits by Allende? Duh. Dostoievsky? Yup. If it was twisted he wanted to read it. If it made him uncomfortable he would read it. Some random ass novels both classics and contemporanean too, but his main focus was twisted.

[bloomzone]

block num 3 | 100 Building Blocks for a Better You ( I changed the name of the serie !)

Have You Ever Truly Taken Care of Yourself ?

Have you ever taken a moment to truly care for urself not in the rushed way we do for others, but with the same love and attention that we so freely give to our friends or family...? Have u ever paused long enough to realize that you are enough, just as u are, and that your worth isn’t defined by anyone else but you? . yea we live in a world that tells us that our happiness, our success, and even our sense of belonging must come from external sources our friends, our families, our relationships, our accomplishments. We often look for validation outside of ourselves, thinking that we need approval or love from others to feel complete. But the reality is you are enough just as you are. Your love for yourself matters.It’s easy to forget this when we’re surrounded by noise, constantly comparing our lives to others or feeling the pressure to meet expectations. We’re often taught to push our own needs aside, to focus on pleasing others, to take care of everyone else leaving little to no energy for ourselves. But when was the last time you took a step back and asked yourself, “How am I truly doing today? What do I need to feel nurtured, loved, and at peace?”

Taking care of YOUrself means more than just self-care routines or long bath and stuff (although that can be part of it!). It’s about creating a relationship with yourself that’s based on kindness, patience, and understanding. It’s about listening to your own needs without judgment, allowing yourself to rest when needed, and acknowledging your achievements, no matter how small . It’s about understanding that it’s okay to feel empty at times, but rather than seeing it as something negative, you choose to love and embrace the solitude cuz true self-care is about recognizing that you are your most important relationship. If you can't love yourself fully, how can you truly show up for others in your life? By taking time to nurture yourself, you give yourself the chance to grow, to heal, and to become the best version of you. And that’s something worth investing in frr So, have you ever taken care of yourself? Or have you been waiting for someone else to do it for you? Today, make the choice to give yourself the love and care that you deserve. Whether it’s a quiet moment to reflect, a creative project you’ve been meaning to try, or just a reminder that your feelings are valid, take the time to nurture the person who matters most: you. Because you are enough, and your love for yourself matters more than anything.please love yourself

@bloomzone

[friendly-peep]

i need somewhere to put my Utena thoughts as i do my first watch through. in no particular order, mind spoilers after the cut

suddenly i understand A Lot Of Choices ive seen in a lot of media, as made in reference to Utena. namely, So Much from Witch From Mercury

Utena either doesnt notice or chooses to ignore just how many gals have a crush on her. or has been catching gals for so long she doesnt realize that usually isnt how gals behave

pretty much everyone projects onto Anthy? green hair thinks she loves him, blue hair projects his sister's issues onto her, even her sister in law kinda assumes the worst. and based on those episodes against mr president, utena also projects her disdain for the whole thing onto anthy, but she *may* be closer to the truth than most others

i do believe that chuchu is like, an externalized exaggerated and metaphorical display of anthy's emotions, opinions, and mental state.

i am also intrigued by utena's prince maybe chilling out in the upside down castle and aiding her when she needs it most.

but yea i feel like i have had my eyes open and im only in the second episode of the black roses arc!

first update moved to this post:

So... the black rose are a bunch of students that died/were murdered (at least that's my theory), and that's why 1) there are all of those coffins 2) the duel arena looks like a classroom with body outlines on the floor

so... mikki's sister getting the twin coffin makes sense considering her and mikki's Situationship. What intrigues me is that a coffin with twins/two people existed at all. Plot convenience i guess but i am still quite intrigued

who killed the 100 black roses?

furthermore! intriguing that she was able to pull a sword from her brother using the ring?

also lol cowbell

ALSO ALSO: anthy and utena's armor outfits in the intro are incredibly cool and i cannot wait to see those armors made extremely tragic

2nd upd8:

i *knew* utena's bff would get a black rose ring, i knew it. i just wish it hadnt been for hoping that the jerk with green hair was gonna care about her. she deserves better.

loving how the black roses seem to draw the skill from their targets. miki's sister, juri's toxic crush, nanami's boy butler, red hair's fan (from nanami's clique) and somehow the black roses are manipulating those feelings of resentment toward anthy.

more projecting onto her!

update 3

so, the 100 boys who died in the building died in a fire

yet... their bodies were preserved and seem intact in those coffins

mr seminar and his partner (periwinkle hair) were "seeking eternity" by preserving life (as helpfully marked by the pointing hands in the flashback episode), and as seen in the prior episodes of the arc.

mr seminar slips and implies he is working on his assignment for someone else (a woman?) but the only woman he interacts with is then treated coldly when the fire breaks out... unless he was talking about periwinkle?

why was there a train stopping the student council from properly communicating? feels like some form of wordplay that didnt translate...

the 100 students were sacrificed by the periwinkle haired boy, under orders from... whom? Anthy's brother? The End of the World?

what is anthy's brother's role in this? he wasn't there when utena went to visit with chuchu in tow (after chuchu was caught by mr seminar).

if chuchu represents what anthy wants to express, why was chuchu caught separated from anthy, in a mouse trap, by mr seminar?

where WAS anthy?

the shadow gals were playing monkey-catching robot, and we know chuchu is a monkey... mr seminar wants more than to just be a tool

should i interpret all purple-haired people as related? utena's prince, the frozen prince in the upside down castle, anthy, anthy's brother, and periwinkle boy.

yet periwinkle's sister showed up to talk to anthy's brother to say she was visiting periwinkle's grave????? despite the fact he talks to mr seminar? ARE WE SURE THEY ARE TALKING? is that a reliable narrator moment? is mr seminar hallucinating? is someone posing as periwinkle to manipulate mr seminar????

AUGH?

update 4

OKAY

okay okay okay

so Anthy was masquerading as periwinkle (who has been dead for A LONG TIME and not, in fact, periwinkle-haired), to manipulate mr seminar's obsession into using the black roses.

She was doing so maybe under directions from her brother, who it seems knows that Anthy is The Rose Bride.

Was this a test for Utena? Or a way to dispose of mr seminar and his obsession that had rendered him immortal?

After mr seminar's defeat, it was as if he never was there at all, which then... does it mean none of the people that were black rose'd suffered that manipulation? does anyone other than anthy and her brother remember?

that was a FASCINATING twist. in Utena's world an obsession can make someone stuck in time and space until they realize they are an impossibility then...

I know there is magical realism what with the sword coming out of anthy, and the magical items, and yet this is a whole new level of magic.

Also at the start of the episode with mr seminar's duel, chuchu was trying to get into an oil lamp, shaped like a stereotypical magical genie lamp. is anthy trying to contain her magic? hide herself away from those that may use her power?

IS SHE PLAYING HER BROTHER AND REMOVING ALL THAT WOULD USE HER FOR THEIR OWN ENDS?

a!!!!!!

update FIVE

okay so

new arc. anthy's brother is ocnfirmed to be the chairman and Mr End Of The World. Also an absolute piece of filth of a person (this was known, i just hadnt mentioned it)

And somehow him and redhead convinced greenhead to duel utena again.

I REALLY like how now Anthy pulled the sword from Utena, she is using her own agency to engage with the system she is imprisoned by. Also the change from "grant me the power to bring revolution" to "grant US the power" was like :O :O :O !!!!!!!!

what a good show??????? AAAA

update SEIS

I am in the second to last episode and i have a lot of scattered thoughts so here they go:

PLOT HAPPENINGS:

Anthy's brother can fall into a pit of spikes repeatedly forever.

HOWEVER now that we have seen the flashback to what happened to anthy and her brother... way way in the past? things are most interesting

So Akio was requested by the world to do everything, and Anthy wanted to either give him time for himself or keep him for herself (I am leaning more toward the first, saving him in a manner), which resulted in her being branded a witch and cursed to suffer eternally.

This suffering is displayed by the impaling spikes, which ALSO are reminiscent of the tree branches growing through Anthy's school uniform in the new ascent to the duelling arena.

So now Akio is "saved" from the world by being kept from it by Anthy, Anthy is cursed and needs saving and is being looked over by Akio, and =possibly an extremely long time later= Akio finds Utena grieving her parents, and shows her Anthy's suffering in response to Utena saying there is nothing eternal, which shakes Utena to her core and she vows to be a knight to save Anthy.

At some point after Anthy was made to suffer, Akio split into the prince that wants someone to save both Anthy and him, and whatever End of the World is, and Anthy also split between the branded witch in eternal torment, and the Rose Bride... i think?

Either way Akio is now behaving like absolute scum while taking away Utena's "prince-ness" by making her more girly and more like a princess, for some reason.

And despite Anthy contributing to Utena's grooming by Akio, and Utena seeing his treatment of Anthy, they still cherish each other (as evidenced by the poison scene).

I am VERY intrigued as to what End of the World wants, and what led to the change between freshly-saved Akio and current-Akio.

NANAMI:

Nanami being the first to realize Akio's treatment while Utena didn't notice/was in denial and being vocally opposed to it all, while actively preventing Miki from being exposed to Akio? 10/10 excellent character growth. She deserves joy and proper health education.

FEMINISM:

just saw a video by Moon Channel about why chinese and korean gacha games look japanese, and one of the topics that were touched upon was how feminism happened in Japan, skipping first wave and ending up comodified while women still suffer from unjust treatment, let alone lacking in the intersectionality department of 3rd and 4th wave feminism. Either way, in one of the earlier episodes, Nanami's brother in the japanese version calls himself a "feminist" (subtitled as chivalrous), which, with that context, makes it REALLY interesting. He's coopting the coopted movement for brownie points while trying to appear charming when he's a sleazeball. Some fascinating stuff!

LANGUAGE USAGE:

one more detail i noticed was that before Utena was heading to the duelling arena with Anthy at the end, and was met by Nanami's brother and green hair, they said it was foolish to proceed. Utena replies with "I am a fool." with conviction. What is INTERESTING HOWEVER! is that in Japanese she used boku, which cements her tomboy/not-a-princess identity that had been attacked for the last few episodes. It's a tiny moment of characterization that makes me hopeful even as i have heard of what happens in the end.

UNRELIABLE REALITY:

if we know that people with strong enough convictions/delusions can warp the world to allow them to continue existing, just like Mr Seminar did, then how are we to know that other characters are not also similarly stuck in a rut they are unaware of and remain immortal in the same way? When Miki and Juri both tease Utena that they have developed feelings for her, the scene ends with them suddenly disappearing while Utena remains in that spot while still holding the tennis racket she was playing with. Did they break free?

[nor3gertz]

I hate that some postal fans are a pure pain in the ass (i say as a postal fan btw) like, SOME PPL IN THE FANDOM ARE REALLY ANNOYING😭

Sometimes they act like a fun police non-ironically💔

Ive seen people in the fandom complain abt other games that are similar (mostly Hatred), only 4 being a bad game or even complaining abt ppl who like the game and is like ???? BRO LET PPL HAVE FUN did they kill ur grandma ur what

yea kinda but its their opinion i respect that. just dont like it when they force others to hate it as well.

it does get annoying if they keep saying postal 4 is ass because the game is still in development and while i admit postal 4's storyline is shit i dont think it deserves to be treated like it. the devs work so hard to make more games in the franchise and saying this as someone who has previously worked on a game final year project i understand how fucking tedious it is. im not a bootlicker or anything i just wishhhhhh people appreciate the devs' dedication to bring us more postal stuff yknow.

about the hatred game i dunno i never played it, but cmon, its still coming from those who have worked tirelessly for the game. sure its all up to each n everyone's taste if they like it or not but at least it was inspired from postal 1997 n they put their heart into making it. not every game is 100% unique n original. they have inspirations.

also maybe the people complaining about ppl who like the game are those who encounter other fans with polar opposites beliefs in things and that makes them fight each other idk wtf am i saying but yeah overall some parts of all fandoms always have these people, its easy to just enjoy the things ur way n not gaf about the discourse. live your life Born to die world is a fuck 鬼神 kill em all 1989 i am trash man 410,757,864,530 dea dcops

[cocobyakuya]

Dear tennos, I think I just made a braindead build for the H-09 apex tank. (Credits to Karmana who inspired me with the concept!)

I just completed the rest of the hex members 1st try in less than an hour , like it's so brain dead i thought i was getting a bug. Asked 5 of my friends to tested it out and they killed the apex either 1st or 2nd time with this build, which they were struggling to get their 1st solo completetion before this build. I'll show it here as well, hope that helps anyone who wanted to give it a go.

Please keep in mind that the builds I'm showing below are just my preference, you don't have to 100% follow them. This build will focus on mainly surviability which I did struggle a bit on my 1st completetion, and this build is certainly Not for Early Game!!!! Please don't get angry at me for showing a build that you can't achieved in a very short pierod of time. The apex tank content was designed to be challenging and it requires a good understanding of the mods and gameplay. The main goal here is to help as much as possible for the completetion and if that works for you it will absolutely made my day ><!

There are things you want to focus and it will MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER !!!!!!

Frame shown : No Forma Nyx Prime (my Cyte09 Mag Trin Volt Excalibur has at least 2-4 formas, my Nyx is the weakest which is perfect to show how shit I am hell yea)

Archon Shard: Tao Azure shard x3 : health x2 ,Armor x1

Subsumed Ability: Dispensary (Protea)

Focus: Madurai (Vazirin works too if u prefer the protective sling)

Aura: Corrosive Projection (I prefer Brief Despite, Energy Siphon /Physique/Steel Charge are also best for Auras! )

Companian: Wyrm Prime

HEALTH ,AMOR, DAMAGE REDUCTION : You want DAMAGE REDUCTION to move around if you lose all your sheild and during rolling guard cool down! More health and amor = more dmg reduction! ( Thank you Karmana giving me a heads-up with inaros health build, the apex is joke to Inaros) YES I AM VERY AWARE SHEILD GATING IS A THING (love it and use it in almost all my builds) I DID MY FIRST COMPLETETION WITH CYTE-09 PURE FULL SHEILD GATE BUILD , WITH NO HEALTH NO ARMOR NO DAMAGE REDUCTION NO MAX ARMOR STRIP AND I WANT AN ALTERNATIVE BUILD WHICH WORKS ON MY OTHER FRAME. Arcane Blessing will give you more max health, and with Protea's Dispensary will max it out very quickly.

The Important Mods Quick Thinking + Hunter Adernaline + Rolling Guard: Quick thinking will drain energy when u take leathal damage, with high max health you can take advantage of Hunter Adernaline (or Rage) for energy in return. Quick Thinking is such a life saver lets you get away with apex's BS macanics 90% of the time. Rolling Guard to let you get immune to all dmg type. ( I also added Adaptation and Aviator to get extra damage reduction to not get 1 shot to death. Energy Nexus in case you ran out of energy to cast Dispensary or your other abilities. Better be safe than Sorry) Flow/ Equalibrium is optional if you don't want to use Energy Nexus . You could use Acane Energize for energy regen but it's just not that good for the apex even with Dispensary.

The Helminth Ability Dispensary : This will synergize with all the mods and arcane for the build. To let you always have energy to proc Quick Thinking. When you take leathal damage you lose both health and energy , you can replenish both quickly with Dispensary. Make sure you spam it in apex phase 1 and 2 to keep orb flow sufficient. Arcane Energize is optional for energy regen , however it's just not as efficent as Dispensary plus it wasted a slot. I invest heavily on energy flow to stay alive because I hate being send to the backroom when i die and Steven point at me with a flipflop saying 'Failure'

Good quality of life: Arcane Nullifier to negate most of the magnetic proc from the apex tank, Arcane Fortifier on your pistol will give you overguard when u use pistol on eximus, phase 1 and 2 with all the eximus spawning should give the overguard you need to deal with the apex tank. Nira's Hatrated not only gives you health, the set bonus for extra 100% slam damage is amazing because we are going to using heavy slam a lot. Aviator to let you take less damage when you are shooting the weakspot on top of the apex. Madurai Focus School to give you Void Strike, you can deal even more slam damage in 8 seconds. The shorter it takes to kill apex the less risk you take. Wyrm Prime's Negate and all the shield regen mods will increase your surviability.

Melee Weapon choice: Magistar Incarnon or Sampotes, they are just too godly for this apex fight. Sampotes will need to keep a short distance for the waves to damage the tank, direct hit on apex tank has No damage >[]< !

This is my Latron Prime with Incarnon above, you can also use weapons you prefer (suggestions from feedback: kuva hek/ Torid Incarnon)

The epitaph to get overguard and slow + prime the enemies. Melee choice I pick Sampotes, I took both rivens off so my friends use the build with no rivens.

Here's my drifter loadout in case you would like to know ;)

Thesse are my build for Trinity, Mag and Excalibur. Trinity is so easy she does not need Dispensary, once you remove the overguard you can cast ablilities for energy + life pulse. Excalibur Umbra by far the easiest for no reason I even took off rolling guard. Mag can abuse all shield regen just remember to maintain your energy flow and you are all set!

If you have any good suggestion and builds that works very well please show some love and share to other tennos too. I know many MANY player actually hated this content and even with end game gears and loadouts can't complete the H-09 Apex fight. That is also why I make this build to help my friends out so they can have their fav hex memeber glyphs >w< !!!

Thank you so much for your time if you read all of these. Either this helps or not please kindly give me some feedbacks so it can be further improved to help even more players!! I appreciate it!!! Lastly I wish you All The Good Lucks Tennos !!

[mistressemmedi]

https://www.tumblr.com/mistressemmedi/784706415317204992/is-being-an-of-model-the-same-thing-as-being-an eeehh i think it does a tiny bit. like, no I don’t think any of those rich men are saints and no I personally don’t want to date them, but for as much as we talk about female empowerment, there’s nothing empowering about paying for a woman’s body, even if she’s 100% consenting (which is the bare minimum). so this fact actually affects what I think about a person (the man who’s paying) and the perception I have of them… you probably don’t feel the same, can I ask why? mine is genuine curiosity, I don’t want to start an argument I swear.

Long story short: I have very finite amount of energy and I'm really not feeling like dedicating any of it towards this issue? All I feel is apathy at most, honestly. And I'd say that I'm sorry if I've disappointed anyone that feels differently on it but the reality is that I am not sorry?

If this is a hard line for you and is important to you, then by all means - do what you have to do to in order to protect your peace.

But the reality is that the majority of asks (which I've deleted plenty lmao) I've been subjected to in this case fall under the same categories

Look at this behavior from [insert name here] 😶 My driver [insert name here] would neverrr engage in such things 🥰 because he's a perfect little pookie boo who does nothing wrong

Look at this skank. Absolute trash. My driver [insert name here] deserves better than this woman (derogatory) who dares to breathe the same air as them. [insert here a poorly veiled projection that said driver deserves a girl/boy/whatever that oddly enough resembles OP making said statement. funny that]

Insert whole ass essay which essentially boils down to virtual signaling without any actual conclusion? Also a whole lot of assumptions. So many of them 😭 and those assumptions generally do not include making space for actual SW voices (very white knight coded, if that makes sense).

So yea. I log on, make my silly little posts, respond to an anon or two, have a laugh, and then log off and dedicate my energy to other things.

[gayforminatozaki]

my guesses on who in twice is a homo!!!

note: these are literally just assumptions. I'm not insisting they ARE lesbian/bi/straight I'm just saying what I think based on things I've picked up on over the years. I'll add my reasoning for each guess after. once again these are ASSUMPTIONS and not fact I could be wrong for every single member. this is all just for fun please don't bet your life on this.

nayeon: imma be real I think she's bi, some of her mannerisms/actions seem not very straight to me. I get that being touchy is common there but there's a difference between being touchy and disguising interest as being touchy. pretty sure she also said gender doesnt matter but idk what context that was in so i won't consider it fully. I'm not 100% sure but yeah I wouldn't be surprised if it was revealed she was bi.

jeongyeon: she's def interested in guys. the lack of her being interested in women makes me assume she's straight. I think that ppl just started calling her gay bc she has a short hairstyle when debuting and bc a lot of women like her.

momo: straight/bi. I think it may be like jeongyeon where a lot of women like her so the homo-ness kinda translates over to momo herself, but also she seems to rlly be into certain actresses. I have other reasons but idk if they're true/too risky to decide rn + i can't think of anything rn. but ya I have a small hunch that she COULD be bi.

sana: I am a genuine believer that sana is, in fact, gay. during twice private life ep.7 from 2016 you can see sana's boredom. she barely talked at all which is very unusual. when she did it was usually very basic stereotypical stuff (e.g. saying her ideal date would be "going on a walk, riding a bike..." it seemed like she was just throwing out ideas from her tone. she also never brought up her hypothetical "boyfriend" during the activites while other members such as jeongyeon did). I wrote a lot so a few honourable mentions: fan of soljiwan, "when I watch tv I'm more attracted to the women", her old twitter account, "more female fans want to marry me" (projection), I can't think of anything else rn.

oh yea and the reason I don't think she's interested in/dating dex is bc if you actually watch the latest interview, it seems like dex hasn't gotten at all less nervous. they don't seem to be dating. dex just seems like a fanboy. he says so himself in the giselle interview that he thinks that if he contacted her he doesn't think she'll respond. I think sana in the dex interview was just taking the opportunity to flirt with a guy who was very clearly into her for entertainment purposes and my god I wrote a lot can you tell i made this whole post for sana ok next person

jihyo: straight. idrk what more to add just use your head

mina: her charming aura messes with my senses and may I just say I have no idea. she checks out girls a lot more than usual but?? idk that's too vague to determine. momo does the same. during the private life she was also quiet and didn't talk, but didn't seem bored out of her mind like sana. that could just be her quiet nature tho. idk if anyone has any reasons for anything lmk. but for now I'll say: undecided.

dahyun: straight.

chaeyoung: bi. she 100% likes girls let's not kid ourselves. the flirting/changing lyrics to female pronouns/singing born this way/etc- and honestly? take this with a grain of salt but I genuinely do think that she might've had a crush on mina a few years back- then it faded but the michaeng ship didn't. everything after a certain point in time is fanservice. idk this is all speculation, I'm basing it off when she did those "gay" things. but I also think she liked guys since she mentioned how timothee chalamet was her type ("guys who look sick") which we can uhh clearly see in zion.t. she was also really into the twice private life (keep in mind it was during 2016- less media training and before michaeng) and actively talked and participated during the choosing a bf game (idk what else to call it lol). anyways yeah that's why I knew she was a boyliker shoutout to me for calling it.

tzuyu: straight. she's had a crush on a guy before and shows no interest in women you know what that means!

[wiimotion]

i noticed you tag a lot of things as #godsong.. usually with kitties. what’s godsong?

GODSONG .. ah GODSONG… ( ¯ᒡ̱¯ )

godsong is the name i have for a silly self-indulgent project in which i put the trope of domestic catgirls under a critical and much more realistic lens… thinking about things like conception, distribution, physiology, psychology.. it’s very cool!

i think my conclusion has been for almost the entire time “I don’t understand why anyone would make this or even want this in their home” LOL.. I really don’t! I know some people get cats without doing research, but I’m stunned with how popular the catgirl trope is!!! Don’t any of these people OWN cats? (-᷄◞८̻◟-᷅) They don’t want a catgirl, they want a doting lobotomized daughter-pet-girlfriend who might act a little bit like a stereotypical cat sometimes. That’s CRAZY!!!!

my work is very much adjacent to Izutsumi from dunmeshi who, when I first met her, I was like “OH MY GOD!!! YOU GET IT!!!!””

in my youth, a gross ex was adamant on showing me Nekopara, and i remember also there were fake sites and publications about with really superficial guides on how to take care of their domestic catgirl. the guides in question were very half-baked, until, of course, they got to the sections about reproduction... because, of course they did. I think I am sort of hoping to totally overhaul things like that… to take a way more informed and realistic approach. Elon wants catgirls?? I’ll show you catgirls!! (I DON’T THINK IT TAKES A GENIUS TO KNOW IT’S A TERRIBLE IDEA.. There are SO MANY complications, especially ones toward humans, I had to figure out how the adamant and unethical engineer would find a way to get around this in the name of misogyny! It’s just the most ‘IT HURTS TO EXIST’ creature ever!)

anyways. yea.. (｡☉౪ ⊙｡) TLDR: Godsong is my speculative biology project where I criticize the trope of ‘doting domestic catgirl’. It’s almost too easy for them to kill you, and I don’t understand why anyone who has ever been around any cat thinks it would be a good idea if it was also 5 feet and 100 lb. Please ask me more about Godsong and I will happily exercise my autism superpowers

[northwest-cryptid]

I don't think I can really explain this without sounding like some elitist prick to someone out there, and that's not the intention or the thought process at all; but the thing is I really do want to like Limbus Company. However I've not been able to bring myself to do so for a lot of reasons.

Look this is gonna be a long one because I'm gonna keep it 100% with you, I have been having a LOT of thoughts about how we're never getting another game like Lob Corp; or even characters who can commit to their most surface level key design features.

I know I've sorta touched on this in the past, and every time I do I get anons by the dozens; (anon is turned off before anyone tries) telling me to kill myself or that I'm stupid and wrong. Which like, look I get it, but you need to understand that a jab at Project Moon and Limbus is not a jab at YOU.

Project Moon used to be one of my favorite game companies, I am the self proclaimed "#1 Project Moon Fan" so you gotta understand that I'm coming at this from a perspective of love for the series as a whole.

I think Limbus fundamentally fumbles the whole bag when it comes to what it could have been vs what it is. That's not to say it's entirely garbage or something. I'm not just going to say everything everyone likes about Limbus is absolute dogwater bullshit.

However as I've said before I can't shake the feeling that what I see when I look at Limbus is like a parody of what it wants to be. It's a husk wearing the corpse of Lob Corp like a cheap costume. Does it have some cool characters? Absolutely; yea I love seeing all the cool EGO designs and such, shame that so many of them cost real money and are still a gamble since many of them reveal things about the characters.

Which like, hey that's a good thing; they SHOULD reveal things about the characters, they should have cool little extra details; they should be important and plot relevant. If they weren't it would just be some cool costume for the characters (and let's be honest, some/most of them absolutely are...) However the fact of the matter is, what we were promised was that this would be a means of continuing to tell us about The City while funding other big projects.

I remember when they said we were going to get a proper open world game set in The City, where we were going to be able to make our own character and explore everything. Do you have any idea how hype I was for that? Limbus changed very quickly from the planning phase to the execution phase. It's success rapidly shifted the focus, no longer was it just a side project to sort of run in the background and "give us something back for donations and funding support." Suddenly it was THE focus of Project Moon.

I understand that since the launch (and even before the launch) of Limbus, Project Moon has had a lot going on. As in, things have come out that the company kinda sucks, that their practices are less than ethical; there was a very short lived boycott over the rights of women in Korea, and the sexism seen in the workplace at Project Moon.

It was genuinely saddening to me to see that fail so quickly because you know, the entire community/fandom built on the shoulder of "we need to oppose shitty business practices even when it's hard." Couldn't manage to oppose shitty business practices and sexism, because they needed their blorbos or whatever.

HOWEVER, that's all been talked about into the dirt, what I don't often see discussed; though it does happen on occasion, is just how much the tone of the game has shifted. Lobotomy Corp, back in it's original heyday; was actually really interesting. Because it was one of the few horror games where sure the graphics were pretty mid and the overall visual aesthetics may not be consistent. However that didn't matter because the characters and story were actually well written and compelling. We were seeing a game explore horror in a very human way, beyond simple shock factor and jumpscares. It still had monsters, and they were the least frightening part of the whole thing.

It felt like the Abnormalities were there as a sort of reminder; here are the monsters, but what's actually scary is what's going on at the company. What's going on with the people, and how you're involved, and the fact that these characters are suffering from very relatable, understandable; and human traumas. The scariest part of Lobotomy Corp for me wasn't Nothing There or The Woman Facing The Wall; it was the relatability of these characters, the fact I couldn't help but see a piece of myself in characters like Malkuth or Chesed.

It was also really interesting that at no point (other than MAYBE Netzach) does the game outright throw something in your face. Not once does it tell you "Malkuth has ADHD" or whatever. It doesn't need to, you see it; you understand it. You feel the futility of it all, understanding you're in a loop, you can't change how things will play out; you can't fix the past, you can do everything in your power to lessen the suffering but it won't fix it.

It's insane that we go from a storylines like Tiph's to the height of horror being "scary" monsters and in-your-face trauma. We even saw a bit of this formula in Library of Ruina, though I believe it was handled a lot better. A lot of people tell me I'm just bias, I was one of the "originals" by which I mean I remember being in THE (at the time) Project Moon discord server when there were maybe like 20 of us who were really mentally unwell about this series. Making mods, making content whether it be art or writing or whatever, I remember staying up all night going through the code and the data and the unused assets. So sure I have a lot of love for the original Lob Corp and such.

However what people hate to recognize is that yes, I'm aware of my bias, and where my bias lies; and no that's not influencing my opinion in the way you think it is. Believe it or not I DO like the characters in Limbus; I actually don't mind at all that we see some fresh faces. I wouldn't be happy with them dragging the corpse of Chesed into Limbus just so I can see my dumb blue haired coffee man (don't think I'm generalizing my favorite boy I swear to god.) I'd be mad that they really dredged up the corpse of a more or less complete character story just to pull some fan service.

My issue with Limbus is just how unfitting it feels. This doesn't feel like the same writing at all, it feels to me as though there's so much more shock value and fan service and "hey isn't THIS cool!?" Rather than striking at the heart of horror. I'm not saying these characters aren't still relatable to people, I absolutely know they are. I'm saying that we've seen Project Moon drift closer and closer to safe marketability over interesting storytelling.

Marketability really is the core problem for me, from the need for monetary gain to the lack of risk being taken with the narrative. It feels like a cheap cash grab, and it's taken over the entire company. We won't ever get another game like Lob Corp, it's just not going to happen. Even if we do get those other promised things; like a "Project Moon Land" or an open world City exploration game, it's going to be a shell of what it could have and should have been. Because it's sharp edges and gripping narrative is going to be smoothed down and made to be marketable to the highest paying audience.

I feel like Limbus more than any other game in the series is so black and white. These are the good guys (who have done bad things uwu) and these are the bad evil guys. This is the characters explicit trauma, we're going to bring this up again at the end very directly. All our characters are SO quirky and fun, this one talks in acronyms! This one exclusively talks in the third person! This one is autistic! But What if they had REASONS for being like that?!?!?!??!?!?? It all feels so, I don't know; it's like those youtubers who make horror content for kids saying "DON'T CALL DON QUIXOTE AT 3 AM!"

I'm not even saying you can't have quirky characters, or characters who talk in a specific way, or characters who are autistic. I'm saying that the whole thing with Limbus feels so half-hearted and phoned in. I've tried to get into the game several times, and if it's not that I'm literally missing out on stuff because I'm actually poor and can't afford to spend hundreds on gacha every time they release a new one; it's the fact that it just feels so predictable.

This could very well be a ME problem, and I fully accept that and I'm not here to tell you that you can't like Limbus Company. I'm just blogging on my personal blog lamenting (heh) the fact we're never going to get another Lob Corp; or even a Library of Ruina. Because at the end of the day I have a deep love for those games; but Project Moon isn't the company it once was, and now that it has had a taste of this success it's never going to go back to being the company it once was. Especially not after you know, firing some of their key figures, burning bridges with creators and artists; and ultimately shooting themselves in the foot 8 times over because hey it doesn't matter, check out this new EGO we made Don's a spooky vampire now!

If you actually want a really good example of what I mean when I say it feels half hearted; look no further than the very first major plot arc with Gregor. That's my boy right there, I love that guy; but they really do just pull an immediate one two punch only to miss both swings with the whole "here's Yuri, he likes Yuri like a sister; uh oh someone has to protect her who are you going to send? It has to be Gregor; it has to be, you can't actually pick anyone else, like sure you can but we've set this up so you HAVE to pick Gre- OH NO HE FAILED and she's DEAD and he's SAD and you should be too!" But more than that, let me put it this way; what's Gregor's key design thing? If I was to line up the sinners and have you point out something unique about each of their designs; what would it be for Gregor? Is it his arm? You know, the lack of a human arm? You know, the thing he has trauma about? The physical and visual representation of his trauma? The fact it's a weapon? A sharp, jagged, inhuman wea- oh wait hang on...

Yea sure I guess he can just have that back for this ID. Why not. Fuck it, we can't even commit to this one thing entirely. "That's LITERALLY only 1 EGO dude."

Okay.

Another one. "That's a fucked up thorn claw that doesn't count." Fine dude, fuck; here,

That's CLEARLY a fucking hand with some butterflies on the arm. (Sick design mind you but come on man.)

My point with this whole bit here is that they really feel like they can't even commit to what feels like a key visual design element for a character's trauma because hey the rule of cool will sell more if we make him look badass!

And like the other big thing is that we actually know that in The City robotic prosthetics and the like are COMMON, so something like this?

That would be seen as just a mostly functional arm or something he could get replaced with a fully functioning arm later. Not a weapon, not an instrument of trauma for the poor guy.

That's ALSO just an arm. Here's another Prosthetic:

And another arm:

And ANOTHER ARM:

Look what I'm saying here is that of his 8 IDs on the wiki, only 3 actually have a hook, claw, or non-hand/arm appendage that is actually a weapon. Of the 6 EGO on the wiki 4 of them are either just hands/arms or at least vaguely hand/arm adjacent with only 2 being the centipede and orb thing.

So the take away for me on this is that they couldn't even handle committing to the most surface level visual key element of this character for the MAJORITY of his IDs and EGOs. What's the point? His character arc is predictable and just tries to hit you in the gut with "he's a victim of war, he was experimented on; he loses everyone he cares about!" Then goes "oh and don't worry about him being a cockroach man because that doesn't matter actually..."

I hate it man.

I miss when this company made single player focused games, that told an interesting story; and actually understood horror and trauma beyond buzzwords and flash in the pan "ANGST" moments. I'm sorry but half of the Cantos have these very predictable storylines that really demand I get invested to side characters who we know aren't going to make it out alive because "Death = Sad and Emotion Response = Good!"

Do you remember when FNAF came out and everyone and their brother made youtube videos about how, "Jumpscares are cheap horror because it's an involuntary response!" Because this is that but for writing; they just want you to feel sad or angst or whatever because they know triggering any kind of emotional response in you means they got some kind of reaction from you. Gone are the days when you actually had time to get to know and care about a character; gone are the days when the characters were going through shit that actually did impact you in some way. Now we get 2-bit here and gone flash in the pan side characters to kill off, they exist solely to be expendable. I really miss when the games forced me to assume the role of a fucked up little guy and let me fight against the very nature of being a fucked up little guy in a fucked up little world. Only to come to the understanding that no matter how much I try, no matter how much I struggle against the horror; I can't undo the past, I can't save his wife; I can't end their suffering; I can't undo her decades of pain. I can only go forward as a better version of a fucked up little guy.

[chihiro-mcdonaldz]

HI its me from the server :3

uhhh. giv…. byakuya fluff…….. with chiaki….. can be romantic or platonic idm either way, i just love them interacting ;w;

yes I can actually

steam letter to my 13 year old self!!

silly pencil divider

byakuya and chiaki being cuties together

platonic

they def have the sleepy and dgaf dynamic

except chiaki also doesn't gaf

chiaki probably falls asleep next to him and he's like

"oh my god will you wake up already?"

byakuya is 100% done with her (in a good way)

they def slay together tho

"heh.. I win. :3"

"w-what?! h-how?! i-i am the heir o-of tHE TOGAMI FAMILY-"

probably the way they talk

byakuya can NOT handle the sass /hj

romantic (I'm aroace so sorry if it's bad)

chiaki just messed with him sometimes

"kuya!! have you heard of the new currency???"

"what? there's a currency and I don't know?"

"dabloons! do you have any???? :0"

"no, chiaki. I do not have these.. 'dabloons'.. that you speak of."

"oh.. well you're broke I guess ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯"

"wHAT?!"

yea.. like that

I like to think chiaki would occasionally fall asleep on byakuya

rarely though

she plays games while he counts cash

I know it because I am the cash

def have a very cute relationship, others were surprised but definitely approve

they go on the cutest dates

objectively olive garden (I've been craving olive garden for weeks)

"woah!! they just.. give you bread?"

"oh sweet heavens.. yes.. yes they do."

yea, they're super cute together

chiaki lit asks for olive garden all the time (I'm not projecting I'm not projecting I'm not projecting-)

yea

your honor, they're lovers!!

that's it!! how ya like it? sorry if it's bad, I've sat on the idea for a hot minute.. also I'd appriceate if you'd send me olive garden /j

bye ily thanks so much for requesting!!

[jeonscatalyst]

hey! Just saw this discourse on Twitter and didn’t really know what to make of it - dk if you’ve mentioned it before?

Apparently in a live at his house few months before enlistment, jimin showed off a moon/star/space lamp that projects on the ceiling and put his foot into the air in shot - and lots of people thought it wasn’t his foot 😂 now I get that the angle was weird, but tbh after looking at what people were saying, Jimin has got very small chubby toes 🤣. And really from no angle so they ever look long - which is what this foot looks like in the live.

I mean, don’t really have much to say about it except that things like the watch theory I really believed because it did all add up in my opinion! and would be a weird coincidence and felt like there was purpose behind it (ie. dates and times and occasions adding up that made it believable) This, I was more unsure of but after seeing peoples posts I do see where they’re coming from - just wondered if you had any thoughts/ had seen about it/ agreed or disagreed? It’s a funny one 😁

Hey anon.

This is the Live you are talking about right?

Yea no, those are 100% Jimin’s feet not Jungkook’s. While things like this are not impossible, I am not a huge fan of these theories and I think they are a huge stretch. The toes do look a longer than Jimin’s but I guess it’s the angle.

As for the watch theory, I think that was just a freak coincidence and not something that was intentional but everyone is free to think or believe what they want.

[zombielesbean]

Thank you for your last Post, as someone who loved Grey Area from the first second i played i must say that i never knew how much Hardship can come with developing your own Game.

Personally i loved it and enjoyed finding every secret and playing it on the hardest difficulty.

I plan to release Games myself someday but now i am worried that it might be like that too. i am unsure if i have the Mental Capacity to sustain something this Stressful.

Sorry if this is incoherent.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! genuinely the vast majority of attention I've gotten on the game has been so lovely and has made the whole thing feel worthwhile, and I'm really proud of how Grey Area turned out

in all likelihood, you won't experience anything close to what I did, it was a combination of the project taking years, and us stumbling into getting a ton of attention from a large tumblr account (and, I suspect, the game being $20 leading to some people feeling more entitlement over the game and the developers than they otherwise would have), my previous, smaller projects didn't receive anything close to the attention this game got, negative or positive

the biggest thing I wasn't prepared for was the, like, vitriol I got from a few people, I'd never had anything like that happen to me over something I made before, and, honestly? people need to be nicer to small indie teams, we're not a massive company with lots of money going around, I spent $100 making Grey Area, heh

so yea, you most likely won't experience anything like this, and if you do, it's not your fault and people really should be nicer to tiny indie devs

[celestie0]

🪷Thinking about how marathon sex with kickoff gojo would go crazy..ihm gramps don't got that type of stamina in him 🙂‍↕️

Just kidding ihm gojo (imsorrypleasefuckme) but kickoff gojo is HIM. Negative aura points for being a frat guy but he makes up for the shit vibes with his loverboy "pathetic loser when in love" antics and his dick game. Ihm gojo's elderly ass might try picking reader up for some spicy sex and slip a disc or two..💀

Ihm gojo on the other hand is giving bigggggg munch vibes. Like the type that stay put in your cooty cat as if it's their new home and their mouth needs to be surgically removed from it. And whichever anon was responsible for that thigh riding ask will be going to hell with me and we'll both be getting whipped for our lustful lecherous thoughts because wow. Oookay. Thanks for giving me a brainrot and endless thoughts of that visual. 🩷

I need them both who am I kidding. Sigh. Hope your trip has been great my sweet!!! It's so good to hear that you've been enjoying life and experiencing great things, I hope there's always more to come 🫶🏻

omg ya kickoff gojo got that athlete stamina but don’t underestimate ihm gramps either bae. he keeps things loose n greased up dww ✋🏼😔 he’s def close to the age where he runs the risk of pulling a disc when he tries to switch positions tho 😭 nah i’m just joking he’s fine he does his HIIT workouts n goes on runs he’ll be fine. let’s picture him as sexy dilf 🤗 and not gramps 👴🏻

yes kickoff gojo in lover boy status rn :/ jokes on him tho bc i lose all interest in a man when they like me back…so uhhh what now? (i’m only half joking. but if you notice kickoff reader’s got some avoidant attachment tendencies going on in this current kickoff arc, pls know i am fully 100% projecting 👍)

LOL SURGICALLY REMOVED. yea he IS giving munch vibes like even before i started writing for the fic he gave me munch vibes 😭 i can’t even explain or care to explain he’s just the type to drool all over your pussy while he’s eatin you out :/ no further questions. and yes the thigh riding thing needs to come to life fr

thanks darling!! yes trip is well, will be home pretty soon. hope you’re doing well too and enjoying yourself!! much love <3

- ellie 🐸

[backpackevil]

I need a proper introduction soooooooo

HELLO :D

ALSO I HAVE OPEN COMMISSIONS

I'm known as Evs (they/them mostly, he/him if necessary), I'm just some aroace agender creature dying from uni; I post mostly fanart of whatever dumbassery I may be into at the moment<3

BTW I'm always open for asks (currently not open for requests, I'm taking a break), I am one of the least serious people you will ever encounter so come be weird with me or just come chat/ask whatever (especially targeted at mutuals, I probably don't bite<3)

Don't start fights and don't be a dickhead, I'm not afraid to block anyone

And last but not least, my very intricate tagging system, fandoms, and where to find me under read more:

All posts are distributed between:

Art ( #evs (f)arts ) .....get it:D?

Non art ( #evs talks )

Otherwise, everything is mainly fandom talk; my main fandoms will always be here :P

Danganronpa (I am known for my oumota art after all)

Dangan promare au yippee

MY CAT FIFI WHOM I LOVE DEARLY<3333333333 (I AM HER ENTIRE FANDOM SHUT UP)

My big animatic project also

+ whatever I may have posted about in the past (MOST OF THESE HAVE LIKE 1 OR 2 POSTS SORRIES):

Ace Attorney

Zelda

Baldur's Gate III

Bungo Stray Dogs

Danny Phantom

Fullmetal Alchemist

Haikyuu

In Stars and Time

MCYT

Mob Psycho 100

Pokemon/Submas

Project: Eden's Garden

The Owl House

Will Wood

Yakuza

...OC hell

Anything more specific you can always just check out around fandom tags :*

@backpackevil2 is my second account meant for reblogs, it is the most chaotic untagged mess you've ever seen so yea, just a disclaimer

I only really post things here but I do have a yt channel for my few animatics :*

[bapouro]

If you have the time and if it’d be fun at all, can you talk about how going to school for art is/was? Like what was bad about it but what did it make you realize about why you create? What was originally incomprehensible that became digestible after being surrounded by it? I’m just curious because I really only got into art after college age.

Hi

ive finally handed in my final project ever last friday and after somewhat recovering i can now answer u. (ill put an aside here that before i started uni, i saw a lot of the online umming and awing about art school and it being a scam etc that made me nervous going into it. i dont really think it has been for me but keep in mind im doing this in the uk. i think if i was in the usa or somewhere where it was that expensive i think youd get just about as many benefits going to somewhere like a community college instead. its worth a bit of money but not a lot of money.)

i realised while turning over your questions in my head last week how much doing my degree (illustration undergrad) during covid lockdown, illustrated (haha) the point art school had for me. and the point being that after trying to stick it out for the first few terms during lockdown, i deferred, i didnt really see the point i had already spent my entire life making art in my bedroom online for free, without somebody telling me what to do. practically what that degree offered me was physical facilities and resources, but really what i wanted it for was that vague miasma of drive and something bigger than myself to physically 'prove' myself to. i was and still am very interested in that gap between the online environment i learnt art within that felt a world away from my 'real life', and coming to meet with that 'real life' was kind of my goal. i needed both to meet on a very basic level for my quality of life. and id say i succeeded. twice now somebody i was originally mutuals with online turned out to be in my class. i live with one of them now. and i feel some pride now looking back on how much i felt like i had to separate my 'school' art and my 'personal' art during secondary school and now theyre practically one and the same. in fact one piece of advice ive kept with me from the uni tutors here is they consistently wish the students wouldnt 'hold back' so much on the kind of work they make: one of my friends, the one i now live with, was doing a tasteful furry pinup statue for a project and one of the tutors essentially asked them why the statue was being so sexually subtle with it, for example.

so what was bad about it! man... thinking about it the same reason i gave for why i came back after lockdown could also point out how flippant the reasoning was. its still a lot of time and effort let alone money to be putting into something that you dont Need an institution for. and art and academia, as much as you might try, arent going to be as neatly married as maybe STEM and academia. not that there isnt a place for it. we need it in there. but basically your work still has to get 'graded' on things so they can prove themselves as an institution so they can still get money to run. i ''apreciated'' the deadline part, for what it was, because i was(/am) a serial put-er off-er and i knew i needed something big to try and train me out of it. but the actual mark scheme and trying to work off of it is never not going to be nebulous. what the hell does it mean to 'demonstrate my awareness of the changing landscape of contemporary illustration' graded between 0 - 100 via a 3d animation. ive done pretty well. sometimes id get top marks. a couple times i wouldnt even pass and id have to do it again. the only pattern i could really see between what got those marks for me and what didnt was effort? so take with that what you will.

yea that being said, what it helped me realise why i create... i am thankful my particular course at my particular uni is so into their experimentation / medium diversity. because it proved to me again that experimenting is something i love to do. i could keep doing it forever maybe. but that also made me realise after trying to do that project after project that its only one part of the enjoyment. i couldnt sink my teeth in as much as i wanted. part of why im glad to leave is im glad to try and focus on just a few things now. take a project at my pace... reeeally get way too into it. hopefully.

what was originally incomprehensible that became digestible after being surrounded by it? mm.. i think getting to see a lot of the behind the scenes and the people actually doing illustration as a job kind of softened my glare on some art styles / ways of working i dislike. not that i Like them now but that kind of flat illustrator thing.. for some people it really is more of a job than anything else. i think thats fine. theres all kinds of other art to enjoy outside of their 9-5. i just hope they like it too. but of course it does set a precedent for what clients expect/what you feel like you should be making..? oh also i did actually end up really enjoying the couple of art essays we needed to write. reading cultural/art/etc pdf essays was something i already liked to do like reading baudrillard and ellen dissanayake and things but it was great to actually get to apply it in writing. and i think it certainly became more digestible to realise that these kinds of writers and this kind of writing wasnt some hard to penerate academia i couldnt be a part of really but turned out to be writing about things that already applied to life, whether i went to uni or not. really the whole experience... for me i felt like it was just something i needed to do. if anything just to get away from my family and make my own life. im glad i did it. but really art is art no matter where you find it. uni gave me a push to go further, i could sit around and say i couldve done it without uni but i think we overestimate ourselves. i think i couldve but i bet it wouldve taken longer and i may have experimented less, challenged myself less. who knows. just dont ever let something like that put you off art, it will always find you again eventually. im glad you got into it too.