#am i insecure?
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tag vent time
#jesus fucking christ I haven't felt this way in a long time#I can't figure out why I'm suddenly so fucking emotional#and like I don't mean period type of emotional#I've eaten and had water today#I went outside#I had my meds#I had so much fun with friends last night#I had good ideas to write about today#for some reason today everything just immediately became demotivating#no matter what I was trying to do#and I don't know why I'm crying#I'm not overwhelmed#I'm not anxious#Am I insecure?#I don't think so I'm pretty happy with who I am and where I am in life#I'm not even that upset about being made to go to church again tomorrow I'm just playing piano and scootalooin'#school is easier this semester than it was last semester and I'm ahead in most of my classes#why the fuck am I sad?#why can't I pinpoint why I'm upset?#oh also I slept really well last night too#I showered today too and brushed my teeth and had my favourite snack what the FUCK is going on
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I could be much worse than I am but you don't even consider that.
#personal#me#ugh#why do i so desperately need validation from my mother. like. if she doesn't like one thing about me i want to kms.#but she doesn't even think about the fact that I'm not a party girl I'm not a heavy drinker or drug abuser or anything crazy.#I've been blunt my whole life and that's not going to change.#i wasn't even attacking her i wasn't even trying to disrespect her and she always takes me the wrong way.#like imagine if i WAS attacking and intentionally being disrespectful?! i never would. but imagine. i could've BEEN that problem child.#but I've actively chosen to BE obedient and diligent and freaking responsible for my brothers and helping with bills....#... because I've always needed the validation that i AM a good girl.#am i insecure?#wth is wrong with me.#do i do it for the wrong reasons?#:/#idk#i just hate how easily she can make me feel like trash because I mentally allow that. i let it eat me up inside.#rant#sorry#i love my mother. i just need to rant and distance myself a little.
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Theme week day one: Mafia/Red Carpet
Commentary: I tried my best, never invite me to anything. I didn’t show the shoes on purpose.
#anna says things sometimes#am i insecure?#most definitely#but i am not about to be person who doesn't join in on the festivities#anyways i don't know what to do with my hair ever
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unconditionally
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life#genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine#but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed#backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads#but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS#so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it#i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process#but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style#so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh#all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap#hina.comic
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There's this moment in Mark of Athena (I think), where Annabeth kind of internally laments that Percy doesn't listen to her when she talks about architecture. She describes his eyes glazing over etc etc. But there are several moments in the books where Percy recalls facts she told him and shares them with other, or moments where he sees a building he thinks is cool and thinks about her. And I just ... I need Annabeth to know that her best friend & boyfriend is hanging onto every word and even sharing her facts with other people.
#something something fic where they pass a building and he rattles off a fact she told him years ago#and he looks all proud and stuff#and she's just like 'how the fuck??'#and he's like 'you told me'#and she realizes he does listen and remembers everything#and then probably cries about it#but thats because my annabeth is and always will be a big ol' cry baby#percabeth#percy jackson#annabeth chase#also this inconsistency is probably just rick riordan inconsistency#but i am going to read annabeth's abandonment issues and insecurities into it
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Some Batfam Headcanons because the brain never stops;
Jason hates being called "Bruce's Son". But he hates it more when hes called "One of Wayne's Orphans/Wayne's child" because fuck you I'm his son-! wait no--
With the exception of Damian, they rarely refer to Bruce as "Dad/Father". Either it didn't occur to them/didn't see the need to/thought it would be strange. But when Dick/Jason/Tim/Cass are tired or injured it might slip out. And Bruce might just crumble a bit at it
Doesn't mean they don't say it to their siblings when Bruce is out of Earshot.
"Dad said you couldn't." "What do you mean Dad said I couldn't use that mug? It's my mug!" "You snooze you lose Timmy Boy-" "Jason don't be an asshole-"
That being said Bruce says "son/daughter/child" at every available opportunity he can after he knows that they have acclimated enough that they wouldn't be uncomfortable/know they can tell Bruce that they don't want to be called that.
First time Bruce called Dick "son" in a way that meant "You are my kid" and not in a "This police officer just called me son with a brow furrow" way Dick grinned and carried on with the conversation. Later he wondered if his dad wouldn't like someone else calling him Son; but Dick thinks about the life he was given because of Bruce and thinks maybe his dad wouldn't mind.
Calling Jason "son" is a hit or miss situation, even before he died. The first time it happened he was confused, he didnt think that was the relationship they had and it made everything change for him. He got frustrated--not angry--with himself and Bruce at this sudden emotional turmoil. Wasn't he just the kid Bruce picked up in an alleyway? Wasn't he just some street rat in bright Robin clothing? (He lets himself believe that he can be Bruce's son. If for only a little while).
Tim cries after Bruce is out of earshot, it would've been a year or so after his parents died and he was adopted. He didn't think he could have been wanted like that again. Even if you think the Drake's had A+ Parenting or not, I don't think he would have gotten a lot of confirmation of being wanted otherwise.
Cass smiles, emotions carefully concealed under her expression. She's grateful she found Bruce and he doesn't mention it if she leans a bit closer in a request for closeness.
Damian doesn't expect anything less, he only appears satisfied. But also relieved that he has gotten the confirmation that yes, Bruce wants and accepts him.
EDIT 10/11; hiii, i have added Duke, Steph & a Bonus in a reblog you can find on the same blog under my 'batfamily headcanons' / 'sore rambles' tag. have fun :)
#these are just my thoughts#they dont have to align with your own!#i am also trying to find a healthy balance between being emotional and being Angry for jason--#he wasnt the angry robin dammit! maybe emotional and a bit more physical but cmon#points at Dick 'Eldest Daughter Syndrome' Grayson#when dick gets older i would imagine that he would resent being called anything in relation to bruce#if its just for his angst phase when he first becomes nightwing or if hes dealing with his own identity/or going through a fight w bruce#i also find the father / son dynamic with dick & damian interesting so i might ponder on that a bit more#also giving tim insecurity issues about where he fits in with the batfam is important to my soul (i have problems)#sore rambles#lotuspowder rambles#batfam#dcu#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#cassandra cain#damian wayne#batfam headcanons#dc headcanon#headcanon#batkids#batkids headcanon#HI IF YOURE LOOKI
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Sorry for the lack of posts yall please take this genya doodle while I try to get my motivation for art back up again🙏💜💕
#I am having an artstyle crisis#where I am insecure and hating my art and wanting to upgrade my artstyle#it is so inconsistent and idk where to start🥲#and I am having art block with no motivation to draw anything-#*crying whimpering noises*#(don’t mind me venting in the tags jdnsksjsk)#art#digital art#drawing#doodle#sketch#genya#genya shinazugawa#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer
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“I want you to stay with me, because you want to. Only if you want to”
also a version with strings:
OG:
Everybody raving about the “I didn’t realize you think sow low of me” while I’m still obsessing abt this
edit: forgot to add the second ver. so adding it in now
#Broooooo I am so sick of people piling on Stolas for being a hypocrite and assuming the worst#and I’m so sick of people blaming Blitzo and failing to realize how insecure he is about being loved#helluva boss blitzo#helluva blitz#helluva boss blitz#helluva boss fanart#helluva boss stolas#stolas goetia#stolitz#full moon helluva boss#full moon episode#I deadass think he handles giving the asmodean crystal really well#this scene made me cry#artists on tumblr#digital art#fanart#art#helluva boss fandom
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Wait, did you put a photo of Vil and Neige as kids in Eric’s office??
oh good, I was afraid that wasn't going to read properly and people would just be like "what is this supposed to be". :') but yeah! I like to think Eric was pretty fond of Neige as a kid! single dad sees orphan child approximately the same age as his own son and goes "hmm. okay, you guys are going to be friends now." (this did not go as well as he'd hoped.)
(also I do love how it's kind of a running joke that everyone loves Neige except for Vil, who's standing over in the corner and just seething with furious irrational hatred. someday maybe he'll find someone who doesn't think Neige is the best thing since cinnamon rolls.)
#art#twisted wonderland#vil: am i massively projecting my own hangups and insecurities onto someone who i would otherwise find only mildly annoying#vil: no it must be neige who is wrong#idk i just like neige a lot! he's sweet and i find him fascinating honestly#there's ONE offhanded comment about how oh yeah he's been orphaned since a young age and just never talks about it#he lives with a bunch of dwarves and cooks and cleans for them and this has been going on since he was like eight#like. hello?!#there's a whole backstory here that we're never going to get more than this single crumb of and frankly that makes it better#man if i had a nickel for every fandom about fairytale characters in high school#where i instantly fell in love with the snow white character#i'd have two nickels et cetera you know the rest
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pre calamity era zelink was so funny. the legend of miss hatergirl and her one-sided feud with the king of minding his own business
#of course if I think about it too long I get sad cause she was literally so insecure#that she was convinced link's seemingly perfect ass must HATE her#but surface level it's so funny. “I am NOT in need of an escort.😡 it seems I'm the only one with a mind of my own🙄” “🙂🙂🙂”#and people will call her a bitch for that. heinous and untrue thing to say but also bitchiness is not a crime it's a virtue#also guys playing any loz game will bring back the botw zelink fixation full force. which is so funny#anyway I've been thinking about them a lot#loz#botw#zelink
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The Feelings About Tim Drake Alignment Chart
Cass and Dick versions. Yes I do subscribe to oifaaa's Jason doesn't know Tim's name headcanon. Also, as usual, open to change!
#tim drake#jason todd#duke thomas#damian wayne#bruce wayne#dick grayson#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#barbara gordon#very sorry if this is inaccurate#just got a comment saying i should do this and i thought it'd be funny (i am not a tim expert)#2000s batfam cast all high in love because he was their little bro#i wanted to put someone in hate but i genuinely couldn't nobody hates this guy#damian does NOT hate him okay. it's complicated but damian only ever hated him during red robin probs#and i firmly believe they got past it#they just make each other endlessly insecure it's not the same as hatred#i will die on that hill but everything else is up for debate
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every day i get hit with the agonising urge to post about my novel while not wanting to be an annoying person who posts about their novel
#ramble#disclaimer i do not think a single person on this planet is annoying posting about their writing#i think **I** am annoying when i post my writing#i am aware this makes absolutely no sense#idk this stupid book has been a WIP for a year now and i feel like i want to talk about it akdjdndn#this is me with anxiety subtly asking for permission for some reason#i’m not insecure about posting my art anymore but i am VERY nervous to post any writing for some reason. maybe bc i know my art is fine#but idk if my writing is ok or if my standards are just really low lmao#maybe actually talking about it will hold me accountable and get me to work on it more
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"I have many fears, most of them about Lucrezia." — Cesare Borgia (The Borgias, 2011-2013) + hints of insecurity
that she adores someone that much / if she will reject his dark nature and act of love and violence as Ursula did / if he truly is not part of her desires / that she easily forgets him
#i have so many thoughts on these two#hes such a clingy brother wth#as much as he soothes her it is only by asking lucrezia verbally or#by looking at her that his fears and insecurities in her life can be soothed#cesare torn between - being relieved she had some joy in the ruthless marriage he had no power to prevent and did not even want to bless#or being envious there is someone else now when his little sister once said she will not love anyone as much as she loves him#but Accepting it anyways because it is impossible loves and maybe he is starting to become aware his love falls in this same category.#“should i envy this narcissus low-born who shall never see you again because of his impossible love for you when i love you just the same?”#the knife more surprise than fear. in a time when he did not love himself...“she accepts me as i am? as i do her”#biting her as if another black panther pet looking for reassurance that their love#that HE is still included in her perfect world even if he himself pulls away#“surely you're in agony as much as i am? are you already satisfied with your child and husband if we cannot share our love openly?”#“your eyes drift to mine when you say 'husband' am i not he? do you see me as so even when it was just 'tonight'?”#and then his sudden gaze as if to look for truth because how can she forget him when he only thinks of her#AND AGAIN pulling away being eaten by shame and guilt of corrupting her (when their relationship is not just his doing)#torn between hope (we have the capacity to forget and move on) and hope (our love has that much devil power over her)#cesare as the god or the devil or whatever it is that overwhelms whether at war or in love#cesare is one confident man and even if his insecurities has layers of righteousness and importance..it is still insecurity nonetheless#and only for lucrezia#lucrezia borgia#cesare borgia#cesare x lucrezia#the borgias#dailyborgia#perioddramaedit#perioddramasource#weloveperioddrama#onlyperioddramas#romancegifs#the borgiasedit
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I have to get these out quick before side order releases
#my art#splatoon#side order#off the hook#dedf1sh#splatoon pearl#splatoon marina#splatoon acht#pearlina#marinacht#<- arent i so fucking smart#i think pearl can be a liitttlle insecure. as a treat. for me#she did also just randomly take off once without even telling marina so??? girl you have this coming#its her penance for winning final fest ok#shes really just overthinking anyway dsbhjfdfs#suggestive#<- just in case lol#edit: i put suggestive in bcuz i was thinking of achts hand and not. the octos doggystylin it in the middle of the goddamn post. am i stupid
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“What is honor compared to a woman's love? What is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms, [...] We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy.”
— Maester Aemon Targaryen: "Game of Thrones"
#his insecurity was valid bitches 🤧#his only grasp on his inheritance used by low borns to tame lizards#but to ask if she'd never thought to have favored HIM#she had and she never regretted it#she never thought of him a bastard#rhaenyra loved that man#to have kept bringin more children#with his features#i am crying while i make this#house of the dragon#rhaenyra targaryen#rhaenyra x harwin#harwin strong#jacaerys targaryen#rhaewin#hotdedit#hotd season 2#hotd#asoiaf#asoifedit#jacaerys velaryon#The proof is here for all to see.#but she would not love you any less#when she is queen#she'll make a new rule#my gifs#but at what cost
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Hiding my face rn
#I’ve never made ship art before#artists on tumblr#art#goromi#majima goro#kiryu kazuma#rgg fanart#kazumaji#yakuza#I am deeply insecure lmao#also 3 drawings in one day??? wowie fr
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